Geez Eddie! You suck! Grammy could have made that shot, blindfolded!

Sam cried from the yard.

I sighed deeply and looked at him annoyed. Sam, shut up.
Spencer started to crack up next to me. You suck, Eddie.
I rolled my eyes.
Sam gestured to Spencer. I mean come on. Even Spencer could have
made that basket.
Spencer nodded. Yeah man, even I could have made it. He paused. I
think that he just realized that Sam insulted him. He held his arms out and
looked at Sam angrily. What the hell!
Sam looked at him innocently. What? I was just complimenting your
ability to make a shot that Eddie cant! He shrugged.
Spencer stopped.
I rolled my eyes again. Sam was goodactually he was greatat talking
his way out of confrontation. It was probably one of the most important
things that he learned to do in Celestia. It was so annoying, but in the end, I
always got him to do what I said so I guess I didnt really care how he tried to
get out of it.
Spencer nodded. Okay. He paused again. Wait, did you compare me to
your grandma? He asked annoyed, advancing on Sam.
Actually, I said that she was better than you. Sam said, standing up.
Spencer got in his face. Do you really want to go there?
What? You dont know. My grandma could be great at basketball!
I seriously doubt it.
Sam looked at me. Eddie, get Grammy on the phone.
I sighed deeply and walked towards them. Sam, stop.
Spencer nodded. Yeah, stop before you really regret it.
Sam cocked his head. What are you going to do, beat me up?
No, but now that you say it, that sounds like a pretty good idea to me.
Spencer said grabbing Sams shirt.
I sighed. Great. Dont kill my brother.
I grabbed Spencers arm. Hey, thats enough.
Sam pushed me away. No, its okay. I got this one.
I wasnt going to tell Spencer this, but my money was actually on Sam.
Spencer looked down at him. Oh, you got this? He asked skeptically. I
could snap you in half! With one eye closed!
Not both eyes? Sam shot back.
Shut up!
Sam smirked. Okay. Ill give you a choice.
Oh really? Spencer snorted.

1
 You can beat me up now, or you can run home and look behind your
framed picture of Snooki on your wall instead. Sam said slowly.
The color drained from Spencers face. I was really confused. He looked at
Sam dumbfounded. How did you
Sam shrugged.
Spencers eyes widened and he ran for his car. Umm, I got to go. Ill see
you later, dude.
Okay... I said confused. Whats behind Snooki?
Dont worry about it! Spencer cried shutting his door and starting his
car. He did a U-turn and sped off down the street.
I turned around confused and looked at Sam. What did you do?
He looked at me innocently. I have no idea what you are talking about.
Well, obviously you found something of his that you werent supposed
to.
Sam shook his head and picked up the basketball. What makes you think
that? He asked.
When were you even in his room?
Why would I go in his room? Sam asked.
Great. Well this was going nowhere.
I sighed deeply and walked to the front door. You know that Spencer is
very protective of his things.
So? Sam followed me.
So, hes going to get you back. I finished, opening the door.
Not this time. Sam said, walking past me.
I groaned. Why does he always do this? Sam threw the basketball into the
garage and walked back out. Noah jumped out from behind the corner and
pointed his sword at Sams stomach.
Think fast! He cried.
Sam jumped back and yelped. Damn it, Noah! He cried.
Noah smirked.
I heard my mom from the kitchen. Samuel. She said angrily.
Sam looked down annoyed and touched his forehead. Yes mom?
If you ever use that language in front of your little brother again, you will
be grounded. She called.
Sam groaned. Yes, mom. He said uninterested. He pointed at Noah, who
was smirking. I will get you back for this. He said under his breath, pushing
Noah. You stupid fake nine-year-old. He hissed.
Noah nodded and turned the corner. Mommy? He asked innocently,
walking to the kitchen.
Yes, sweetie?

2
 What does the word bitch mean? Are you one? He asked innocently.
Oh my god.
Where on earth did you hear that word? Mom cried.
Well, Sam just called me a son of a bitch, and youre my mom so, Noah
started.
Sams eyes widened. I looked down. Mom whirled around the corner from
the kitchen and pointed at Sam.
Samuel James.
He cut her off. Mom! I didnt! I promise!
Upstairs. Now. She said pushing him towards the stairs.
Mom! Sam cried. Really!
One week. No leaving this house. No friends over. Give me your phone
battery. She said angrily.
Sam sighed deeply. He took out his phone and popped out the battery. He
handed it to my mom. He looked at me and nodded discretely. I rolled my
eyes and nodded.
Sam looked at me. But mom! You work in the week! No one is here to
babysit me! Eddie will let me do whatever I want!
I looked at him hatefully. No, Sam. You screwed up. Deal with it. I looked
to my mom. Dont worry. Ill make sure that he stays put.
My mom nodded. Thank you. At least one of you has enough sense to act
responsibly.
Sam groaned. Oh come on, mom.
Upstairs.
Sam ran up the stairs. Fine.
My mom sighed deeply and patted Noah on the head. Im sorry you had
to hear that word, honey. Do you want a popsicle?
Noah nodded. Sure! He said happily.
My mom walked by me and patted my cheek. Thanks sweetie.
I nodded. Yep.
She smiled and led Noah to the kitchen. I sighed deeply and walked
upstairs. I went to Sams room. He was sitting at his desk, putting in a new
phone battery. I cleared my throat in the doorway.
Sam spun around. Thanks for back there, man.
I nodded. Yeah, you owe me.
Okay, Ill make it up to you.
Good luck finding something. I said walking to my room.
Yeah, youre right. Ill put it on my tab.
Cant wait to cash in on that. I said sarcastically, slamming my door.

3
 I took a shower and got changed. I walked back into the hall to see Noah
strolling by licking a cherry popsicle.
I sighed. Noah.
He held up his finger and walked by me. He stopped in Sams doorway.
Hello, Sam. He said innocently.
I saw Noahs eyes widen as an arrow whizzed by his head. The arrow
stuck into the wall two inches from his ear. I ran over to him and pulled him
out of the way.
Oh my god!
Sam! I hissed, looking in his room.
He was sitting at his desk with his bow. He lowered it. What?
Dont do that! You almost shot him.
Almost! He cried, like it obvious. We all know I could have shot him
right in the eye if I wanted to. Sam said, looking at Noah as his expression
hardened.
Noah swallowed deeply. Umm, message received.
Sam nodded. Good.
Noah pushed free from me. And by the way, that was payback for the
time that you rearranged all of my books in my library that were
alphabetized.
Sam rolled his eyes. Get over it. That was like fifty years ago.
No, I will not get over it because it took me like a week to put them back
in order! Noah said angrily.
I groaned and walked back to my room. I can not wait to leave in two
weeks.
Youll miss us, Eddie! Sam called from his room.
Probably not! I called back.
I sat back down on my bed and grabbed my laptop. Okay, yes. I would
miss it. Obviously.
After a while, I could hear yelling coming from the hallway. I groaned and
got up. I ran to my doorframe and looked out. Sam and Noah were arguing
with each other, again. I sighed deeply and walked towards them. I pulled
Sam back from Noah.
And what exactly are you arguing about this time? I asked annoyed,
crossing my arms.
Noah looked up at me. Eddie, Im writing another story about the time
that we left to reunite the Southern Territories and I went to ask Sam what
the landmark was to signify that we had crossed the border of Celestia.
Okay I said slowly.

4
 And he insists that its the Zithican Spire, but I think that its the Panavon
Stream. I know that hes wrong!
Sam cut him off. Im not wrong, you idiot. We cross the Panavon Stream
before the Zithican Spire.
So the Spire is in Adhemar!
No, its not. Sam said like he was stupid.
I groaned. Are you two seriously arguing about this?
Sam looked at me. Dude, he thinks that he knows everything!
More than you! Noah retorted.
I rolled my eyes and shoved Sam back into his room. Can you two please
act your real age?
Sam nodded. If I were to act my real age, Id be dead so...
I sighed. Then act mature at least, like you would if the courtiers were
present at a banquet.
Sam looked down. Yeah whenever they came to visit, I was more
immature than I am now.
I sighed again. Whatever.
We were silent for a second. I looked at them. And youre both wrong by
the way. I added.
What do you mean? Noah asked.
The border of Celestia is the Coroneos Arch.
They both paused.
I exhaled deeply. We pass under the arch to signify leaving our land. How
do you two honestly not remember that?
They both looked down.
I nodded. Yeah, always ask the high king. He remembers stuff.
He remembers stuff. Sam mocked.
I took a step forward. Excuse me?
You heard me.
I pointed at him and I was just about to let him have it, when I heard
someone behind me. Does he remember that he was supposed to take his
girlfriend out to lunch an hour ago? She asked.
I whirled around. Crap. Mallory was standing at the top of the stairs with
her arms crossed. Crap. I swallowed deeply. Hi.
She walked towards me. Hi.
Umm, I thought that we were going to lunch tomorrow.
No, it was today. She said stopping in front of me.
Are you sure?
Pretty sure. She said. Considering the fact that we go out to lunch
every Sunday.

5
 Crap, crap.
I nodded. Okay, well you have to remind me of this kind of stuff! I said
defensively.
She raised her eyebrows at me. Oh, I have to? She asked skeptically.
Yeah... I started.
Sam cut me off and grabbed my shoulder. Id start apologizing right
about now. He said quietly in my ear.
Wow, thanks.
I looked back at her. Im so sorry. We can go out tomorrow if you want.
She smiled. That was the plan. She said, walking past me.
Wait a second.
I paused. Mal? I asked.
Yes?
Today is Saturday.
I know. She said going into her room.
I sighed deeply. Noah and Sam started to snicker behind me. I whirled
around. You two, shut up. I said walking to Mals room.
I stopped in her doorframe. I started to ask her why she did that, when
she whirled around and cut me off. It was a test.
I looked at her confused. What, why I am being tested?
Dont worry. She said walking towards me. Youre getting better. She
smiled.
At apologizing? I asked.
She nodded. Yep. She said giving me a hug.
I rolled my eyes. Youre joking. When, she didnt respond, my eyes
widened. Seriously?
She laughed, pulling me into a hug.
We were silent for a second. Just then, my phone started to vibrate. Mal
sighed. Youre vibrating. She mumbled against my chest.
Sorry. I laughed, letting go of her and looking at my phone. It was
Spencer. I groaned and answered the phone. Hello? I asked.
Put Sam on the phone. He said angrily.
Hi Spencer, how are you?
Not now, Eddie. Put Sam on the phone.
I nodded. Okay. I put down my phone and looked out into hallway.
Sam! I yelled. Get in here.
Mallory looked at me confused. Whats wrong?
Hold on. I said as Sam came in.
He looked at me. Whats up?
Phone. I said handing my phone to him.

6
 He scrunched his eyebrows and answered my phone. Hello? He asked
confused. He nodded and smirked. Hey Spencer! He said innocently.
Whats that? He asked. Oh, I see. Sam nodded again. Thats great.
Sorry, I dont know what youre talking about. He paused.
I could practically hear Spencer yelling at him through the phone.
Sam looked down. Okay, so maybe I do know what you are referring to
now that you mention it.
More yelling.
Sam rolled his eyes. But it was so interesting! He said. He paused. I
think the whole world should know.
I think I heard Spencers head explode. Whatever Sam found, it was bad.
Sam started to pace. Okay, heres the deal. You listening? Sam sighed.
Im hungry. I could go for a Happy Meal, if youre catching my drift. Sam
paused. No I dont want the apples, dumbass. He nodded. Sorry Im
grounded, so I guess youll have to bring it to me. Sam paused again,
looking around. Yep, Ill see you then. He said hanging up the phone.
Oh my god. What was going on?
Sam nodded and handed the phone back to me. Thanks. He said
walking back to his room.
Mal looked at me confused. Umm, what is going on?
I ran after Sam. Hey, what are you doing? I asked him annoyed.
Sam turned around. Im going to my room because Im grounded.
With Spencer. I clarified.
He nodded. Yeah, looks like I got myself a personal servant for the next
week.
Leave him alone. I warned.
What? Sam asked innocently, shrugging.
Sam, I swear to god, I will exile you. I said pointing at him.
Sam looked at me and raised his hands in surrender. Oh, you got me with
that one. Where am I being exiled Mr. High King who still thinks that hes in
charge even though we arent in Celestia anymore?
I looked down. Sam.
Exactly what I thought. He scoffed, walking back into his room.
I groaned and walked back into Mals room. I sat down on her bed and she
sat down next to me. Will someone please tell me whats going on?
I dont know. Sam found out something about Spencer that Spencer
obviously didnt want anyone to find out and now Sam is blackmailing him.
So when do we leave? She asked after a second.
I smiled. Not soon enough.
Dang. She frowned, but started to laugh.

7
 So where were you just now? I asked.
Oh I was having lunch with my roommate.
Oh right. The roommate situation.
I looked down. I cant believe that they are not letting us get an
apartment together. I said annoyed.
She rolled her eyes. Yes, lets let two eighteen-year-olds get an
apartment together. Great parenting.
Next year.
Well see. She smiled.
We could do it, you know. I said. It wouldnt be that hard.
We have done it, with like two hundred people doing all the hard stuff for
us.
I was silent for a second. I guess youre right.
Im not saying that living alone with you would be a bad thing. She said
quietly, putting her head on my shoulder.
I forced a smile. Yeah?
Just then, someone cleared his throat in the doorway. I looked up and saw
Noah standing there with his arms crossed. He had a red ring around his
mouth from his popsicle.
I nodded. Whats up Noah?
He walked forward and sat down next to us. You have to help me. I cant
remember who we encountered first down in the south and its killing me.
He said putting his paper on his lap.
I forced a smile. What do you remember?
I remember us passing under the arch and traveling for about a day and
then we stopped at that small river.
I nodded. Okay, and then after that we sent out scouts over the hills.
Noahs eyes widened. Thats right! I wanted to send Sam but you
wouldnt let me! He cried, writing it down frantically on his paper.
Just then, I heard Sam in the doorway. You wanted to do what?
I groaned. Sure Sam, come on in.
Thanks. He said sitting down on the floor. He looked up at Noah. So,
you wanted to send me out there alone, huh?
Noah nodded. It was just a suggestion.
A stupid suggestion. I am one of the kings! You cant risk my safety like
that! Sam cried.
I was bait on almost all the missions we went on. Noah said sheepishly.
Yeah, but you were small and innocent so people didnt want to kill you.
Well you probably looked stupid enough that they wouldnt want to kill
you either!

8
 Sorry, I cant take you seriously with a red popsicle ring around your
mouth. Sam retorted.
I sighed. Two weeks.
Noahs eyes widened and he looked up at Mal. Do I have popsicle on my
face!
She nodded sympathetically.
He put his hand over his mouth. Why didnt you tell me? Thats so
embarrassing!
Not for a nine-year-old. Sam added.
Noahs expression hardened and he looked at Sam. Shut up.
Mal sighed and wiped off the red stuff from Noahs face with a tissue.
After she finished, he nodded. Thank you.
She smiled. Noah looked back down. As I was saying
Sam cut him off. Can we talk about something more interesting please?
He groaned.
You dont think this is interesting? Noah asked.
No, lets talk about one of my voyages instead.
Noah rolled his eyes. But no one was on your voyages but you!
Thats not true! Mal went with me that one time! Remember Mal? He
asked looking to her and winking.
I looked down. Mal sighed. Yes, and Im never going again.
Why not! Sam whined.
Because, we almost died. She said, like it was obvious.
Nah, that was just a typical day!
I raised my eyebrows.
Dude! I knew what I was doing! We were never in any real danger! He
said defensively.
I looked at him angrily. Oh, you knew what you were doing? So getting
chased by a gang of thieves and having your boat nearly sunk was all part of
the plan obviously!
He nodded once. It was. I wanted to show her a little adventure.
Oh my god.
Sam. I said annoyed.
Sam cut me off. You know what? Mal enjoyed herself. She did. Ask her.
She thought that it was so fun!
I looked at her skeptically. Did you enjoy yourself?
She swallowed deeply. Well, umm, the sailing was nice, but the running
and near death experience? Not so much.
I nodded. There you go. I said looking back at Sam. You are an idiot
and youre lucky that I didnt have you banished for that.

9
 Sam rolled his eyes. You say that you could have banished me a lot, but
yet you never did. Gasp. Could that be because you actually, hmm, maybe
dont actually hate me?
I sighed deeply and looked down. I paused for a second. Sam pointed at
me. See, everyone see that? See the hesitation! I told you! I told all of you
that he didnt actually hate me!
I rolled my eyes. Dont make me hate you.
Because you dont at this point in time.
Sam! I said annoyed, starting to laugh.
Everyone started to laugh too.
Okay, so maybe I was going to miss this, just a little, maybe.
Noah looked down sadly and his lip started to quiver. We stopped laughing
and looked at him. Mal touched his shoulder and looked at him
sympathetically.
Whats wrong?
Noah looked up at us. I dont want you guys to leave!
Great. I was waiting for this to happen.
Mal swallowed deeply. Oh, umm... She looked to me.
I sighed. Noah, its okay. We wont be that far away.
But what about our daily Celestia talks? He cried.
We can still have those.
But it wont be the same over the phone!
Mal nodded. We can Skype you! For as long as you want! Every day!
She suggested, looking at me.
Well, not all day every day.
I bit my lip, but shrugged. Noahs eyes lit up. Really? He cried happily.
She nodded again. Sure. We can just talk to each other through the
video. No problem.
But what about mom? He asked.
Mal looked at me. I sighed deeply. I cant believe that Im saying this, but
Sam will probably be driving you home from school so mom wont be home
until like six, so we can just do it before then.
Sam smirked. Its okay, Eddie. You can give up your spot as the alpha
male in the family and pass it down to me. I will assume the responsibility.
I rolled my eyes. You better get your own car though.
Sam nodded. That can be arranged! After what Im about to do to
Spencer, I can probably have his.
I groaned. Seriously, let it go.
Sam looked down at his phone. Hmm, he should be here by now.

10
 I heard the door slam downstairs. I heard footsteps running up the stairs
and then I saw Spencer stop out of breath in Mals doorframe. He was
wearing his hat backwards, a Nike t-shirt, basketball shorts, and his Adidas
sandals. Overall, he looked disheveled.
Sam turned around slowly and nodded. Hello Spencer! He said
innocently.
Spencer swallowed deeply and handed him the McDonalds bag. Here.
He said angrily.
Sam nodded and took the bag. Why thank you so much!
Are you done now? Can I go? Spencer asked.
Just a minute. Sam said quickly holding up his hand and looking into the
bag. After a second, he nodded. Where is the ketchup? He asked annoyed.
Spencers eyes widened and he looked at him like he was an idiot. Dude,
you have some in your fridge. He said gesturing down the hall.
Yes, but not in my hand. Sam clarified.
Spencers mouth dropped open. You have got to be kidding me.
Fair enough. Sam said looking back at us. Hey guys, did you know that
Spencer has a
Spencers eyes widened and he cut Sam off. Fine! Oh my god. I will get
you the damn ketchup. He said angrily, running down the hall.
I looked at Sam annoyed who was emptying his bag. I raised my
eyebrows. Really?
Hmm?
You are a horrible person.
I prefer evil genius, but thank you. He said eating a fry.
Spencer came running back up with a bottle of ketchup. Here.
Sam held out a French fry. Awesome. Ketchup me.
No.
Sam held up his hand to his ear. Whats that? You have a secret
Spencer cut him off again. You are a bastard. He said sitting down next
to Sam and putting ketchup on his French fry.
Sam ate the fry and held up another. Spencer, this was your choice.
Spencer groaned and put ketchup on that fry too. The rest of us just sat
there and stared at the two of them dumbfounded. Was this seriously
happening?
After a minute, Spencer looked at Mal sympathetically. Please dont judge
me Mal, but no one can know!
I cleared my throat. Oh, we are all judging you.
Spencer looked at me. I couldnt care less if you judge me. Im worried
about her! Spencer said pointing at Mal.

11
 Ketchup me. Sam interjected.
Spencer groaned and put more ketchup on Sams French fry. He looked
back at Mal. It has to be this way. Its way too embarrassing to get out!
She smiled at him sympathetically. Its okay. I wont judge you.
She was too nice.
Thanks. He smiled.
Sam popped another fry in his mouth. What about Emma? Will she judge
you?
Spencers eyes widened. Sam, I swear to god
Sam cut him off. Arent you not supposed to do that?
Spencer looked down. Well no. He stuttered. But I swear that if you tell
her
Sam cut him off again. Well see how this goes. He said holding out
another fry.
He continued to put ketchup on Sams French fries. Okay, this has gone
too far. After Sam finished eating, he had Spencer help him fold his laundry,
which was really funny because Spencer had no freaking clue what he was
doing because he had never done laundry before in his life. Sam let him
leave after that. Mal and I went back to his house with him. I was still
concerned about him to be honest. He was getting weirder.
The three of us were on our laptops. Spencer was petting his kitten
Snooki. Yeah, Snooki. I wish I was surprised. I blame Emma for that one.
After a while, Spencer looked up. Okay well, Emmas coming over and if
either of you tell her about Sam and my secret Im going to kick your asses.
I looked up from the other side of the room. Is the secret really that
bad?
He nodded. Yes.
Are you ever going to tell me?
No.
Even though Im
He cut me off. Dude, youre my best friend. That is why Im not telling
you.
I looked at him confused. So
I know that makes no sense. He said exhaling deeply.
Yep. I said looking back down.
But just trust me.
For some stupid reason I always do.
Spencer smiled.
Mal and I sat next to each other, just enjoying each others company. I
knew we had nothing but time but it was still nice.

12
 A few minutes later, Emma came down the stairs. We said hello to her and
she sat down next to Spencer. She looked at us. So what have you guys
been up to?
Spencer gave me the death glare.
I shrugged. Just hanging out.
When do you leave again?
Two weeks.
She groaned. Guys, this is not okay!
I forced a smile. I know.
I dont know how we are supposed to be apart.
Me neither.
She snuggled closer to Spencer. I hate this.
Spencer swallowed deeply. Yep, it sucks.
We need to do something together before we leave.
I nodded. Definitely.
Lets go to the beach.
Perfect.
It actually did sound amazing.
Good, its a plan. She said reaching into her purse and grabbing a
magazine.
She moved to lie down on the couch and rested her head on Spencers
lap. He rested his arm on her stomach and went back to using his laptop. She
kept showing him things in the magazine and saying that she loved them.
Every time she would, he would look at them and compliment them or say
that they would look good on her. I was very confused.
Just then, I saw a new Facebook message pop up. I looked down. It was
from Mal.
Mal: Stop staring.
I tried not to laugh.
Me: Sorry, Im just confused.
Mal: Youre confused as to why they are acting like a normal couple?
Me: Yes.
Mal: I think Spencer is more mature than you think he is.
Me: Probably.
Mal: But Im confused too.
I tried not to laugh again.
Me: Something must be wrong. He hasnt mentioned his cats in over two
minutes.
Mal tried to hide her laugh. I loved her laugh.
Mal: So when are we going to the beach?

13
 Me: Dont know.
Mal: It will be like home.
Me: Thats why Im excited.
Mal: Maybe we can steal a cute little kid while we are there and pretend
hes Nick.
I couldnt help myself. I burst out laughing.
Emma and Spencer looked at us confused.
I looked back down quickly.
Me: I think thats illegal but Im game if you are.
Mal: Good. Im sure his parents wont mind.
Me: We are probably better parents anyway.
I laughed again.
Emma sighed deeply and shut the magazine. Will you two shut up?
We both looked up at her. She nodded. Yes, Im talking to the two of
you. She said.
I looked around confused. What do you mean?
I mean stop doing this. She said, waving her hand over the two of us.
We arent doing anything.
Yes you are laughing obnoxiously about something stupid that the two of
you are talking about over Facebook that probably isnt even funny.
Geez Emma, cranky? I asked.
No! She snapped.
Spencer looked at me. Dude. Leave her alone.
What was happening!
I looked around confused. Umm...
He pointed at me. No more.
I looked at Mal and then back to him. What, you want us to leave?
Emma was rubbing Spencers leg. Yes.
Spencer looked up at us. Yes, leave now. He said, trying not to sound
eager.
Well, I cant say Im surprised. I rolled my eyes. Wow, some friends. I
said shutting my laptop.
Mal did the same. We both stood up. I put my laptop away and looked at
them. I hope you two end up on an episode of Teen Mom. I retorted,
walking with Mal up the steps.
Love you too, Eddie! Spencer called up after me.
Mal slid her hand into mine. Im surprised they lasted this long.
I laughed. Me too.
Oh well, they were boring anyway. She smiled.

14
 We walked out to the car and drove home, where I really wanted to be. I
was so much more comfortable there. We were in the door for maybe two
minutes before the four of us shut ourselves into a room to talk about
Celestia. I loved every minute of it. I could do it all day.
We did.
And most of the night too.
I had almost forgotten about Spencers secret. Well that is until Sam
struck again the next day. You know, you can always count on Sam to go one
step too far and be completely okay with it.

That day, Sam made Spencer bring him magazines and ice cream. He made
him play with Bernie. I literally thought that Spencer was going to cry. It was
so bad. We all just sat back and watched, but Spencer still didnt crack. He
was actually managing to act normal besides that. It was frightening.
The day after that, I was hanging out with Spencer at his house playing
video games. It was great. Well, it was great until Spencers phone went off.
His ringtone was the MeowMix song from the TV commercial, a.k.a. the single
most annoying song ever created. So, of course, one: its his ringtone, and
two: he lets it play for a good thirty seconds before answering the phone.
One time, it went off in school unexpectedly.
Okay, I lied. It was expected.
I stole his phone and turned on the ringer and then Soup called from out
in the hallway while we were in psychology watching a video. It was hilarious.
The teacher was pissed, but Spencer didnt seem to care.
Now, he was bobbing his head to the music like he always does. I sighed
deeply. Do I have to answer it for you? I asked.
He looked at me annoyed. Geez, Eddie. Chill! He said grabbing his
phone. He groaned and answered. Hello? He asked angrily. He sighed
deeply and looked down. Why? He paused. Sam, I am not doing that. He
was silent again. Sam! He repeated. I dont remember math! I dont
care! He paused again. Okay, well I do care. He corrected. He nodded
once. Fine, Ill be over in a bit, asshole. He said hanging up the phone.
And Sam strikes again.
I sighed and looked down. So what do you have to do this time?
His summer math homework.
I snorted. Does he realize that hes smarter than you?
Spencers expression hardened. Hey, I graduated, didnt I?
Barely.
His mouth dropped open. Eddie! I am smart!
I looked down. I know. I know.

15
 I can do a little sophomore math! It wont be that hard!
I shrugged. Okay! If you think that you can do it.
I can! Spencer said defensively. Lets go.
I sighed and stood up. Fine.
Youre driving.
Why dont you just follow me that way I dont have to take you back after
youre done? I asked.
Maybe I plan on spending the night! Spencer responded.
I sighed. Fine. Whatever.
At this point, I really didnt care.
I drove us back to my house. We walked inside and Sam was waiting at
the kitchen table with his math homework, a calculator, and a pencil. He
looked up when he saw Spencer. Well, hello there.
Spencer groaned and sat down. Just shut up and give me the pencil. He
said holding his hand out.
Sam smirked and gave him the pencil. Spencer looked down and then
waved me over. Eddie.
What? I asked.
I need to ask you a question.
I sighed and sat down next to him. What?
What is the answer to problem one? He asked slowly.
I rolled my eyes. Im not the one being blackmailed here.
Sam cleared his throat. Oh Eddie, I have a bunch of dirt on you too, so
feel free to jump in here.
I looked at him. Oh, you have dirt on me?
I do.
I dont believe you.
Sam looked off into the distance and tapped his chin. If I recall, you have
a very specific reaction to watching the movie Titanic. What is it that you do
again? He asked innocently, looking back at me.
My expression hardened. Sam. I said angrily.
Do you need a pencil? He asked coyly, holding out a pencil.
I sighed deeply and took the pencil. I will get you back for this.
Sam rolled his eyes. I dont give a shit if youre the HK or not.
Spencer looked at Sam confused. Whats an HK?
Sam looked at him. Oh it means horrible kisser.
Spencer started to laugh. I groaned and grabbed one of the worksheets.
Go to hell.
He smiled. Only if you come with me!

16
 I rolled my eyes and helped him do his homework. It was so awful. That
night, Spencer stayed in my room, alone. Remember how he doesnt like
sleeping on the floor? His excuse this time? His back hurts and he cant sleep
on the floor. Right now, he was holding his back and sitting down on my bed.
I sighed. So your back is acting up again?
He nodded. Yeah man, I dont know whats wrong with it.
Well, maybe you should see a doctor.
Nah, doctors are for pussies. He said, taking off his shirt and lying down
on my bed.
I rolled my eyes. So youre kicking me out of my own room again?
He shook his head. No, you can stay on the floor if you want.
I nodded once. As tempting as that sounds I said sarcastically, walking
to the door.
Where are you going?
To sleep. I said. Its like 1 a.m.
But, where will you sleep?
Umm, the couch? I said slowly.
Oh. He paused. You could bring the couch upstairs
I rolled my eyes. Yes, and you could help me. Oh wait, no you cant, you
have a bad back.
I do!
Im leaving, good night.
But, but... He started.
I sighed. What!
I, umm, Im lonely.
Congrats. I said, shutting the door behind myself.
I walked to Mals room and pushed open the door quietly. I saw Mal lying
in there facing me, asleep. Without opening her eyes, she sighed.
Did Spencer steal your bed again? She asked slowly.
Yes. I said quietly, walking towards her.
What did you guys to when you were younger?
We slept in the basement. I said, sliding into bed next to her.
Why dont you do that now?
Because, the basement is cold, far away, and taken over by Sams crap.
I said, resting my head on the pillow.
She exhaled deeply and moved to rest her head on my chest. Well, you
are welcome here any time the basement is too cold for you.
I forced a smile. Thanks.
She paused. I cant believe that we are leaving.
Me neither.

17
 I feel like I should be excited, but Im not. She said quietly.
I rubbed her arm and kissed the top of her head. Its okay.
I dont want the four of us to be apart.
I swallowed deeply. That thought had been slowly growing in the back of
my mind for that past few weeks. I dont either.
It just wont feel right.
Mallory... I started.
She sat up and rolled over on top of me. What? She asked.
I will drive you home any time you want to see them.
Really? She asked quietly.
Yes, whenever you want. I said touching her face.
She smiled and kissed me. I kissed her back and I was glad that that
wasnt going to change when we went to college.
All of a sudden, the door burst open and Noah stopped in the doorframe,
looking very distressed. Seriously? Mallory rolled off of me and we both sat
up.
I blinked a few times. Whats wrong, Noah?
I could see his lip quiver. What happens when Deonesus calls and the
four of us arent together to go to Celestia? He said, his voice wavering.
Mal looked at him sympathetically. Aw, Noah. Im sorry. I didnt think of
that.
He nodded and walked towards us with his blanket. So you cant go to
college.
We have to.
This is like that movie Peter Pan. He said sadly.
How so? I asked.
Well, when youre young, you go to Neverland, but then when you grow
up, you never go back and nothing is ever the same! He cried as tears
started to stream down his face.
Oh great.
I sighed and picked him up. I sat him on my lap and lay back in the bed.
He hugged me. Remember when I was actually nine and this wasnt weird?
He managed.
You are actually nine. You were never nine before we went to Celestia. I
said.
I guess youre right. He said, quietly.
Its okay. I soothed, rubbing his arm.
Mal sat back with us and rubbed his head. Noah, if Deonesus were to
contact any one of us, it would be you.
I know. He said quietly.

18
 And then you have to come find us and no matter what we are doing, no
matter where we are, we will drop everything and come to Celestia with
you.
I swallowed deeply. We would.
He nodded once. Okay. Do you promise?
She nodded. Of course.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Just then, another voice came from the door. Why am I being left out of
this? Sam asked.
I groaned. Doesnt anyone ever sleep in this house?
Sam held his hands up. Sorry! Im just trying to make the most of the
time that I left with you guys!
I rolled my eyes. Sure, make yourself at home.
He flopped down on the bed on top of us.
We all groaned when he landed. Sam. I said, annoyed.
What? He asked, trying to get comfortable, almost pushing Noah and I
off the bed.
This bed isnt big enough.
Yeah, no shit! Why does no one have a bed big enough to fit all four of
us? He asked.
Because its not supposed to happen.
Im not leaving. He finished.
I sighed deeply. Why must you make this difficult?
Just doing my job, bro. He smiled. He looked over at Mal. How you
doing over there, Mal?
Squished. She managed.
Good.
I looked at him angrily. Sam, get off the bed.
What? If Noah had said he was squished, it would have been fine, but
because its your precious Mallory, suddenly, its not okay.
Its her bed!
Here, Ill switch spots with you Mal. We can spoon and then youll have
more room. Same said rolling over her.
For the love of god. Sam. I said angrily. Get over here so I can kick your
ass. I said reaching for him.
Hmm, pass. Sam said, wriggling out of my grasp.
Noah picked his head up from on top of me. Its okay. I can get him back
for you later by telling mom that he said a bad word to me.
I smiled. Thank you.

19
 Sam pointed over Mal at Noah. Just you wait. My revenge is coming for
you.
Oh, Im so scared. Noah mocked putting his head back down.
Well, good thing it was a hundred degrees outside and four of us were
cramped on a tiny bed.
I sighed deeply. Is everyone situated?
Sam picked his head up on the other side of Mal. Roger that. Captain
Sam is below deck in his quarters.
I tried not to laugh. You are mature Eddie. Noah burst out laughing.
Sam!
What? Sam asked confused. He paused for a second. Noah, get your
nine-year-old mind out of the gutter!
Noah tried to stop laughing. You were the one who said it, not me!
Sam rolled his eyes. Whatever. He said closing his eyes.
Mal slid her hand into mine. Noah exhaled deeply on top of me. I felt like
we always end up doing this. We were silent for a few minutes.
Just then, Sam picked up his head. Did anyone else notice that the four
of us are in here and Spencer is alone by himself in Eddies room?
Ha, oh right I forgot. We all started to laugh as my eyes drooped. It was
nice, the four of us together like this. Sure, it was probably completely weird,
but it felt right. Wed been through so much together. We were closer than
everyone thought
Eddie! I heard a voice cry. Wake up! Lilys here!
What!
I forced my eyes open. What? I asked confused.
Spencer was standing an inch from me. I moved back a little. What did
you say?
He forced a smile. Kidding. Shes not actually here, but I knew that that
would be a good way to wake you up.
I groaned. Spencer, go away.
Sorry bud. He said, slapping my face and standing up.
You are so annoying.
Spencer nodded. Oh and one more thing?
What? I asked.
He punched me in the arm as hard as he could.
I grabbed my arm. What the hell! I hissed.
He pointed at me. Thats for not inviting me to the sleepover.
I didnt know that there was going to be a sleepover. It just kind of
happened. I said slowly.
Well, thats no excuse! I was lonely over there!

20
 It would have been weird if you were in here and you wouldnt have fit on
the bed anyway.
Why would it have been weird? He asked offended.
I sighed. Because, you wouldnt understand what we talk about.
Why not! He snapped. Im good at carrying on conversations.
Yes, but you still wouldnt understand. I repeated.
Why, do you talk about me behind my back? I swear to god, Eddie.
I sighed again. You know, I dont.
Then what do you talk about?
Its none of your business! I whispered annoyed.
He held up his hands in surrender. Fine, fine. I dont care. You four can
sleep together ever damn night. I dont give a shit.
There was another voice behind him. Excuse me, young man? She said
angrily.
Spencer whirled around. Yes, Mrs. Michaels?
Not you Spencer, sweetie. Why dont you go put on a shirt and go
downstairs for some pancakes? She suggested.
He shrugged. Alright. He said walking out of the room.
I swallowed deeply. I knew what was coming. Somehow this whole thing
was going to be my fault. Mom came over and knelt down next to me. I
shifted positions and slid Noah onto Mal.
Yeah? I asked quietly.
What exactly are you four doing in here?
I sighed. Well, Spencer refuses to sleep on the floor so I let him have my
bed. But Noah woke up and couldnt sleep, so I comforted him. I took him to
Mal and he insisted that we lay down with him because he was scared of
something. And well, Sam felt left out.
Where were you when Noah woke up?
I paused. Umm, on the couch downstairs. He must have walked by me
first on his way to you I guess.
And did you calm him down?
I nodded. Yeah, its under control.
So then you all just decided to sleep in the same bed? She asked. I
knew she was completely skeptically. I wasnt really sure my logic made
sense.
Mom, it was late. You wouldnt understand if we told you.
Mom was silent for a second. Fine. Just this one time. No more.
I nodded. Okay. I said quietly.
She stood up and walked to the doorframe. Eddie, sometimes, you make
me nervous.

21
 Why is that?
She held up her hand. No, let me finish.
I nodded.
But other times, I dont know what Id do without you. She said walking
down the hall.
I swallowed deeply. Great, why was I leaving for college again? Isnt there
such thing as online school? I think Mal and I should do it instead. That would
work.
I rolled over and tried to fall back asleep, but it was useless. A little while
later, we all got up. Sam went back to his room to fall asleep again and Noah
went back to his room to do something related to Celestia, because that is all
that he does nowadays.
After breakfast, we all just hung out because mom was gone to the store,
Sam probably wouldnt be up until noon, and well, Noah was in his own little
world ever since he figured out that we were leaving. Mal was reading a
magazine on the couch. Spencer flopped down next to her and rested his
head on her shoulder.
Mal? He asked.
What? She responded.
What am I supposed to do at college without you guys?
I rolled my eyes.
She forced a smile. Spencer, Im sure that you will have no problem
making new friends.
I know. I have social skills. He paused. But... He started.
But what? She asked.
But you guys are my best friends.
I looked at him. What about Emma and Soup and like the thirty other
people that you hang out with all the time?
Well, Soup is going back to Kentucky and Emma will be close to me
obviously
We will literally be like a half an hour away from you. I said slowly.
But thats so far!
So you have Emma!
I know! Trust me! I think Id die if I didnt!
Mal looked at him. Just try not to think about it.
He nodded. Okay. Ill try.
We were silent for a second. Spencer sighed deeply. Eddie, will you invite
me to all the parties at Berkeley? He whined.
I closed my eyes. For the love of god. I looked down. You will have your
own parties at USF.

22
 No! I wont! Its a freaking Jesuit Christian school! There are no partiers
that go there!
You go there. I shot back.
He paused. Yes, but I like to think of myself as a rare individual.
I rolled my eyes. Why dont you have your own parties?
He nodded. I mean, I guess I could
Yeah! Spencer! You can change the whole atmosphere of the university!
I said reassuringly.
He nodded again. Yeah! I mean Im in the dorms, but I guess I could find
someone with an apartment.
And you have your fake, so youll be fine! Everyone will love you! I said
trying not to sound annoyed.
He looked up at me. But, Eddie, I think you need a chaperone when you
go out. I dont want you to get crazy drunk without me and end up in a ditch
somewhere.
Oh my god. Is he serious? My eyes widened and I looked at him like he
was stupid, which he was. He looked at me confused.
What?
I gestured to Mal.
He looked at her. What about her?
She will be there with me, Spencer.
So? She doesnt know you as well as I do! He said defensively. No
offense, Mal. He added.
She forced a smile. I sighed. She does. Just trust me.
Oh really? Are you sure?
I nodded. Pretty sure. I said confidently.
Well see about that. He said turning to Mal. Mal.
Yes? She responded.
What is Eddies favorite television channel?
CNN.
Spencer shook his head. Not even close. Its ESPN. He said looking at
me triumphantly.
I looked at him sympathetically. His eyes widened. No! No, you always
watch ESPN!
Well, I used to I said slowly. But not anymore.
How was I supposed to know? Spencer cried. Doesnt count.
I nodded. Sure.
He was silent for a second. Okay Mal, how about this. When Eddie was in
eighth grade, he had a dog. What was that dogs name?
Mal looked at him like he was stupid. Runner.

23
 I looked down. I missed that dog. Sam and I loved that dog. Sam named
his boat after that dog, well one of his boats. He had multiple, of course, in
case he wrecked one, which he did. His favorite was the Victorias Secret.
So stupid if you ask me.
Spencers mouth dropped open. How did you know that?
I lived in his house when they had the dog.
Oh. Spencer said sheepishly.
We were silent for a second. Spencer nodded once. Okay, Ive got one.
He paused. Now, dont think Im weird. He told me this when we were
having our bro talks on the bus ride back from basketball games.
Oh dear.
Spencer continued. Okay, describe Eddies ideal child.
It took every ounce of restraint that I had not to burst out laughing.
Mal tried to hide her smile. Umm, okay, let me think. It would be a boy,
named like, oh I dont know, Nicholas or something. And Id call him Nick just
because it would make Eddie so mad, but Nick would look just like me so
hed crack under pressure and let me call him whatever I wanted. Eddie
would think he was in charge, but really the kid would be a total mommas
boy. Not that he wouldnt love Eddie though. Hed follow him around
everywhere, wanting to learn about politics and how to swordfight, or umm,
play sports I mean. Wed take him to the ocean and collect seashells and
hed laugh, oh his laugh, its, itd be the most wonderful sound... She said
her voice trailing as she closed her eyes.
I sat down next to her and forced a smile. She slid her hand into mine.
Spencer looked at her confused. Umm, that was surprisingly detailed
He paused. Is there something that youd like to share, Eddie?
What do you mean? I asked.
Oh I dont know. Maybe the fact that you have a kid somewhere?
I swallowed deeply. I dont.
Are you sure? Because you act like you do.
No, its just that Mal and I have talked about it before.
He nodded. Oh I see. Emma wont let me talk about kids with her.
I forced a smile. I cant imagine why she wouldnt.
Me neither! He was silent for a second. He turned back to Mal. Thats
not what Eddies kid would be like though.
I tried not to laugh. It is Spencer. Its exactly like what it would be.
What? But what happened to Bobby? The strong, tall football player
ladies man? Come on?
Mal raised an eyebrow at me. Ladies man?

24
 I swallowed deeply. Well thank you Spencer for bringing that up. Umm,
thats not true.
Spencer looked at me weird. Dude! I specifically remember you saying
that!
Spencer, stop talking! I hissed.
He nodded once. Fine. Im just trying to feel involved in your life! Clearly
Ive been replaced! Im sorry. I let you down.
I tried not to laugh. Youre still my best friend.
Really? He cried happily.
I nodded.
Ha, in your face, Mal! He said triumphantly.
I sighed. Dont do that.
Sorry. He said sheepishly.
We were silent for a second. I nodded, getting us back on topic. I will let
you know if I hear of something that I know that you cant resist attending
Spencer cut me off. Like a toga party? He asked excited. You know I
love those.
I nodded. Sure.
He smiled. Okay. Im holding you to that.
I rolled my eyes. Well see.
A few hours passed. Sam finally woke up. He had some food and then
went back upstairs with half a bagel hanging out of his mouth, not saying a
word.
I went up into my room to put away my laundry. I needed some alone
time. Everyone has been going crazy for the past few days. It was weird. I
shut the door behind me and put my basket on my bed. I started to put away
my clothes. It was actually relaxing. As I was finishing up, I heard the door
creak open. I sighed and looked up. My expression softened.
Hey. I smiled.
Mal looked at me. So Bobby?
I laughed. Not anymore.
She put her arms around my neck. I would hope not.
But obviously, Spencer doesnt know that.
Sorry I made him think that we have a child.
We do have a child.
She smiled. I know.
A perfect one. I clarified.
We were silent for a second. She looked up at me. Can I ask you a
question about Spencer?
I laughed. I can try my best to answer.

25
 Why do people at school like him?
Is she serious?
I looked at her. Umm, well
She stopped me. Let me explain what I mean.
Okay.
I mean you saw him downstairs! Hes whiny and irresponsible and all he
talks about is his cats and hes so annoying sometimes! Why do people want
to be around him?
I tried not to smile. He only acts that way around us because he feels
comfortable being who he really is. Everyone else thinks hes some party
jock. I paused. And that was harsh, Mal! Im surprised.
She sighed. I love Spencer trust me I do. I just had to ask.
Its okay. I know what you mean.
And may I just say that Im surprised that you are actually doing your
own laundry?
I rolled my eyes. It helps me clear my head.
She smiled. Ill keep that in mind for the future.
Just then, there was another knock on the door. She let go of me and
turned around. I looked up. Spencer skulked into the room. Oh great.
He looked at me and then at Mal. Oh.
Yes? I asked.
I need to talk to you, Eddie. He said looking at Mal.
Mal looked at him. Do you want me to leave? Is that what youre trying to
say?
Umm, could you? That would be great.
She looked back at me confused. Umm alright. She said walking for the
door slowly.
Spencer looked at her sympathetically. Thanks. Love you.
She smiled, patting him on the arm and walking down the hall.
Spencer shut the door behind her and looked at me.
I returned the look. What is going on with you?
Can I ask you something personal, dude?
Youve been acting weird lately. I said.
How am I acting weird?
I dont know. Youre like being serious and stuff.
Oh. He paused. Yeah, I guess I get that way when my whole life is
going to get turned upside down. He said annoyed.
I sighed. Fine, whats on your mind?
Are you and Mallory going to get married?
Yes. I blurted out without even thinking.

26
 Crap. I was just so used to us being married.
I paused. Umm, I mean
He cut me off. How do you know? How does anyone know? What is the
meaning of love? How can you love her when youve only been together for
like four months? How is that possible? What will your parents think? He
asked annoyed.
Okay, what was wrong with him?
What is your deal? I asked confused.
I, I dont know! He cried, sitting down on my desk chair.
Are you and Emma okay? I asked slowly.
Yes! Were great!
Then why are you freaking out and asking about love and marriage and
stuff?
He looked down. I dont know, I guess I was just thinking about the
future
I cut him off. Do not propose to her.
But, but why not? I love her! She bought me a cat! That is the strongest
form of love that exists in the world!
I sighed. Because, I dont know. Just dont do it. It would be weird.
How would you know? Youll be an hour away!
I looked over to him. Dont be stupid. She already broke up with you
once.
Can we not talk about that please? He said, adjusting his hat.
I rolled my eyes. Fine.
Just then, I heard someone at the door. Oh Spencer! He called.
We both whirled around and looked to the door. Sam was standing there
smirking. Spencer shot up out of the chair. What do you want? How long
have you been standing there? How much did you hear? He demanded.
Sam shrugged. Oh, I dont know
Why do you keep doing this to me! Spencer cried.
Sam nodded. Doing what? Listening to your secrets?
Yes! Spencer yelled.
Sam gestured for Spencer to follow him. Im hungry.
For the love of god. Spencer hissed. What do you want?
I could go for some popcorn.
Spencer rolled his eyes. Lets go, Eddie.
I sighed. Really?
Just come on. Spencer said, pulling me with him.
Spencer popped the popcorn in the kitchen and poured it into a bowl. He
sat down next to Sam on the couch who turned on the TV. I sat down on the

27
other couch next to Mal. Spencer started to feed Sam the popcorn. Honestly,
it was completely annoying. I could tell that Spencer was getting annoyed
too.
Sam cleared his throat and opened his mouth again. Spencer sighed
deeply and shoved a whole handful of popcorn into Sams mouth. Sams
eyes widened and he spit out the popcorn.
Dude! He said angrily.
Oh sorry, was that too much? Spencer asked innocently.
Yeah, dumbass!
I dont appreciate your tone! Spencer cried.
I sighed again. How many more days?
Fine, Im full anyway. You dont have to feed me anymore.
Thank god. Spencer said putting down the bowl.
Sam wiped his mouth. Lets call Emma.
What! Spencer cried.
Oh dear. Did Sam hear Spencer and I talking?
Sam looked at him innocently. Is there a problem?
Yeah! You cant tell her! Ive done everything youve asked!
I wont tell her. Ill just write down what you have to say.
Spencer groaned. I am literally going to kick your ass so hard
Dial please. Put it on speaker. Sam said, grabbing a white board from
the desk and uncapping the pen.
I have no idea where he got the whiteboard, but Im sure that he has been
planning this for a while.
Spencer rolled his eyes and dialed the number. Sam looked at us. No
talking.
I sighed deeply. This was going to be so bad.
Sam scrawled something on the board and held it up for Spencer. Spencer
groaned. Emma picked up the phone. Hello? She asked.
Hey pumpkin, how are you? Spencer asked.
Uh, Im fine. Whats up?
Sam wrote something else and showed it to Spencer. He sighed. Where
are you?
At my house, why? Emma asked.
Can you look to see if I left my pink boxers there on your floor? Spencer
asked sheepishly.
I sighed and looked down.
Umm, sure. Emma said confused.
Sam was dying laughing. Spencer flipped him off. After a minute, Emma
got back on. Sorry, they arent here.

28
 Sam wrote something else. Spencers eyes widened. He shook his head.
Sam nodded. Spencer sighed. Oh okay, thanks, I must have left them at this
other girls house. Spencer said closing his eyes.
Excuse me! Emma cried. Why are you calling me to tell me this? Do we
need to talk?
Um, Eddie, Eddies house! Thats where I left them! Mal lives there too!
Thats the girl I was referring to! I didnt do anything I promise!
Sam looked at Spencer angrily. Spencer flipped him off again. I could hear
Emma exhale deeply. Okay, Spencer. Youre being weird.
Sam wrote something else. Spencer looked down. Hey, you know if I get
another cat, Im naming it after you.
Oh really. Emma said uninterested.
Sam wrote something else. Spencer nodded. Yeah, and I will take it
everywhere with me, because Im a crazy obsessed cat man. Spencer said
giving Sam an annoyed look.
Okay well, thats great I guess, but was there a point to you calling me
besides to babble on about nothing?
Sam wrote something else on the board. Spencer sighed. The point to
my conversation is that I am hungry. He started.
So get food.
Sam scrawled something else. Spencer groaned. For you. He finished.
Sam started to laugh again.
Emma sighed. Spencer, Im hanging up. Youre being weird.
No! No! Wait Emma! Spencer cried.
It was too late. She hung up. Spencer looked up at Sam dumbfounded. He
stood up quickly. You are a bastard.
Why thank you! Sam laughed.
Spencer rolled his eyes. Ugh, Im going to go talk to her. He said
grabbing his phone and running for the door.
Ill be in touch! Sam called after him.
Bastard! Spencer yelled back, slamming the door.
Sam looked down triumphantly. I sighed. Sam, you are killing him.
Nah, this is good for him.
I really dont think so.
Hell cave eventually.
Probably not!
Oh he will. Just you watch. Ill call him in a bit and make him an offer that
he cant agree to.
I sighed. I will take his side if you go too far.
Psh, I could take you both.

29
 I didnt answer. I kind of knew that it was true.
We relaxed for a little bit. Noah came down at sat with us. I could tell that
he was still in a funk.
After about an hour, Sam looked at his phone. Alright. Show time. He
said dialing Spencers number.
He held it up to his ear and when Spencer answered, Sam nodded. Hello
Spencer. How are you? He paused. I am doing well myself. Listen. Im going
to need you to bring over one of your cats.
My eyes widened. Oh my god. Spencer will die.
I heard yelling. Sam held the phone away from his ear. After a second, he
put it back. I dont care which one you bring, but if you dont I have news for
everyone that Id like to share. He said hanging up the phone.
I stared at him dumbfounded. He looked around at us innocently. Whats
wrong?
Mal looked at him. You are awful! You know that he loves his cats!
So, well see how much.
I looked down. This is going to end badly.
Probably, but it will be worth it. He said.
We waited for Spencer to bring over one of his cats. Sure enough, like ten
minutes later, the door creaked open and Spencer stalked in cautiously,
cradling Fluffington in his arms away from Sam. Sam looked at him. Well
hey there! Look what we have here!
Spencer nodded. I have instructed Sir Fluffington to claw your face off if
this goes badly.
Sam nodded too. Very well.
What do you want with him? Spencer asked.
Sam held his arms out. Let me hold him.
Oh dear god.
Spencers eyes widened and he jumped back. Never!
Its your choice! Sam said holding his hands up.
Spencers eyes darted around. You know what
What? Sam asked.
Ill tell them myself. This is going too far. Im done being your servant.
Sams eyes widened. But, but what? He whined. Thats not the way it
works!
Spencer nodded and looked at us. Guys. I have a secret.
I sighed. Spencer, please just tell us. It cant possibly be that bad.
Spencer swallowed deeply. Okay, here it is. He paused and closed his
eyes. I have a secret journal.
Seriously?

30
 My eyes darted around. Thats it? You have a diary?
He nodded. Its so embarrassing, and Sam found it.
I sighed and looked at Sam. Thats what you were blackmailing him
about?
Sam looked down. Well, I was.
You two are idiots.
Sam looked up at me. No! It was really juicy! Ask Spencer to share it with
you!
Spencer shook his head quickly. No! It is in a new hiding spot now! You
will never find it!
Sam sighed. Its under your cats bed, isnt it? He asked uninterested.
Spencers mouth dropped open. Unbelievable! He cried, running out the
door.
I looked at Sam confused. How did you know that was where he hid it? I
asked.
Sam shrugged. I didnt. I took a lucky guess.
You are so weird. I said.
Noah smirked. You can say that again.
Sam pointed at him. Shut it, Noah.
Its a free country! I can do whatever I want!
Yeah, well Im He paused. Damn we arent in Celestia.
Thats right, so ha!
Sam turned to me. I stopped him. No.
You didnt even know what I was going to say!
Well I know you, so no.
Man what has Celestia done to us?
I laughed. I ask myself that question every day.

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