Story of the Man Turned Into a Dog

By Osvaldo Dragn

(Translated by J.H. Stevens)

The Theatre of the Absurd is a designation for particular plays of absurdist fiction, written by a
number of primarily European playwrights in the late 1940s, 1950s, and 1960s, as well as to the
style of theatre which has evolved from their work. Their work expressed the belief that, in a
godless universe, human existence has no meaning or purpose and therefore all communication
breaks down. Logical construction and argument gives way to irrational and illogical speech and
to its ultimate conclusion, silence[. Critics coined the term "Theatre of the Absurd", relating these
plays based on a broad theme of absurdity, roughly similar to the way Albert Camus uses the
term. The Absurd in these plays takes the form of mans reaction to a world apparently without
meaning or man as a puppet controlled or menaced by an invisible outside force. Though the
term is applied to a wide range of plays, some characteristics coincide in many of the plays:
broad comedy, often similar to Vaudeville, mixed with horrific or tragic images; characters
caught in hopeless situations forced to do repetitive or meaningless actions; dialogue full of
clichs, wordplay, and nonsense; plots that are cyclical or absurdly expansive; either a parody or
dismissal of realism and the concept of the well-made play.

Cast of Characters:

ACTRESS

ACTOR #1

ACTOR #2

ACTOR #3

Actor #2: Friends, the third story will be told thus

Actor #3: As it was told to us this afternoon.

Actress: It is the Story of the man that was turned into a dog.

Actor #3: It began two years ago, at a plaza bench. There, sir., where you were trying to guess
the secret of a leaf.

Actress: There, where with extended arms we stretched to the world from head to toe and we
said, play, accordion, play!
Actor #2: There we met him. (Actor #1 enters) He was (he signs) just like this as you see him,
nothing more. And he was very sad.

Actress: He was our friend. He was looking for work, and we were actors.

Actor #3: He should have supported his wife, and we were actors.

Actor #2: He sounded with life, and woke up screaming in the night. And we were actors.

Actress: He was our great friend, of course. It was just as you see him (he signs.) Nothing
more.

Everyone: And he was very sad!

Actor #3: Time passed. Fall.

Actor #2: Summer

Actress: Winter

Actor #3: Spring.

Actor #1: Lie! It was never spring.

Actor #2: Fall.

Actress: Winter.

Actor #3: The summer. And we returned. And we went to visit him, because he was our friend.

Actor #2: And we asked: You OK? And his woman told us.

Actress: I dont know.

Actor #3: Is he bad?

Actress: I dont know.

Actors #2 and #3: Where is he?

Actress: In the dog pound. (Actor #1 on four legs)

Actors #2 and #3: Ohhh!

Actor #3: (Observing him.)

I am the manager of the dog pound,

And this appears to me phenomenal.

He arrived barking like a dog

(main requirement);

And although he comes dressed like a man,

He is a dog, without a doubt.

Actor #2: (Stuttering.)

I-I-I am the v-v-veterinarian.

And t-t-this is c-c-clear to m-me.

E-E-Even though h-he appears t-t-to be a m-m-man,

T-T-That w-w-which is here is a d-d-dog.

Actor #1: (To the public.) And me, what can I tell all of you? I dont know if Im a man or a dog.
And I believe not even all of you will be able to tell me in the end. Because everything began in
the most common way. I went to a factory to look for work. For three months I couldnt find
anything and I went to look for work.

Actor #3: Didnt he read the sign? NO VACANCIES

Actor #1: Yes, I read it. Dont you have anything for me?

Actor #3: If it says NO VACANCIES, theres NO VACANCIES.

Actor #1: Of course. Dont you have anything for me?

Actor #3: Nothing for you, nor for the minister!

Actor #1: Ah-ha! Dont you have anything for me?

Actor #3: NO!

Actor #1: Lathe operator?

Actor #3: NO!

Actor #1: Mechanic.?

Actor #3: NO!

Actor #1: Night watchman! Night watchman! Even if it be a night watchman!

Actress: (As if playing a bugle.) Dum-da-da-Dum! The Boss!

(Actors #2 and #3 talk in signs.)

Actor #3: (To the public) The dog of the night watchman, ladies and gentlemen, had died the
night before last after twenty-five years of loyalty.

Actor #2: He was a very old dog.

Actress: Amen.

Actor #2: (to Actor #1) Do you know how to bark?

Actor #1: Lathe operator.

Actor #2: Do you know how to bark?

Actor #1: Mechanic

Actor #2: Do you know how to bark?

Actor #1: Bricklayer.

Actors #2 and #3: THERE ARE NO VACANCIES!!

Actor #1: (Pause) Woof! Woof!

Actor #2: Very good, congratulations

Actor #3: Well give you ten bucks a day for salary, dog house, and food.

Actor #2: As one can see, he was getting ten dollars more than the real dog.

Actress: When he returned home, he told me about the job he got. He was drunk.

Actor #1: (To his woman.) But they promised me that just as soon as one worker retired, died,
or got fired they would give me his job. Have fun with it, Mara, have fun! Woof! Woof! Have
fun, Mara, have fun!

Actors #2 and #3: Woof! Woof! Have fun, Mara, have fun!

Actress: He was drunk, poor guy

Actor #1: And the other night, I began work (He squats down on all fours.)
Actor #2: The dog house was so small.

Actor #1: I cant crouch down like that.

Actor #3: Do you feel pressure here?

Actor #1: Yes.

Actor #3: Good, but dont tell me Yes. You have to begin to get used to things. Tell me: Woof!
Woof!

Actor #2: Do you feel pressure here? (Actor #1 doesnt respond.) Do you feel pressure here?

Actor #1: Woof! Woof!

Actor #2: Good (Leaves.)

Actor #1: But that night it rained, and I had to put myself in the doghouse.

Actor #2: (To Actor #3.) He still doesnt feel pressure.

Actor #3: And hes in the doghouse.

Actor #2: (To Actor #1.) Did you see how one becomes accustomed to everything?

Actress: One becomes accustomed to everything.

Actors #2 and #3: Amen

Actress: And he began to get accustomed.

Actor #3: Then, when you see someone enter, yell out: Woof! Woof! Lets see

Actor #1: (Actor #2 passes by running.) Woof! Woof! (Actor #2 passes in silence.) Woof! Woof!
(Actor #2 passes by crouched down.) Woof! Woof! Woof! .... (Leaves.)

Actor #3: (To Actor #2.) There are ten bucks extra a day in our budget

Actor #2: Mmm!

Actor #3: but the poor man that is before us deserves them. Hell get the job done.

Actor #2: Mmm!

Actor #3: In addition, he doesnt eat more than the dead one (dog).

Actor #2: Mmm!

Actor #3: We should help his family!

Actor #2: Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! (They leave.)

Actress: Nonetheless, I saw that he was very sad and tried to console him when he returned
home. (Actor #1 enters.) Guests came today!...

Actor #1: Yes?

Actress: And the dances in the club, Do you remember?

Actor #1: Yes.

Actress: Which one was our tango?

Actor #1: I dont know.

Actress: What do you mean you dont know? Woman that abandoned me (Actor #1 is on
four legs.) And one day you brought me a carnation (He looks at it and remains horrified.)
What are you doing?

Actor #1: What?

Actress: Youre on four legs (She leaves.)

Actor #1: I cant take this anymore! Im going to speak with the boss!

(Actors #2 and #3 enter.)

Actor #3: Its that there isnt anything else

Actor #1: They told me an old man died.

Actor #3: Yes, but we have to cut back. Wait a little more, huh?

Actress: And he waited. He returned three months later.

Actor #1: (To Actor #2.) They told me someone retired

Actor #2: Yes, but were thinking of closing off that section. Wait just a little bit longer, huh?

Actress: And he waited. He returned two months later.

Actor #1: (To Actor #3.) Give me the job of one of those guys you fired during the strike

Actor #3: Impossible. Their positions will remain vacant

Actors #2 and #3: As a punishment! (They leave.)

Actor #1: Then I cant take any more. And I quit!

Actress: It was our happiest night in a long time! (She takes his hand.) Whats the name of this
flower?

Actor #1: Flower

Actress: And whats the name of that star?

Actor #1: Mara.

Actress: (Laughs.) Mara is my name!

Actor #1: Her as wellher as well! (He takes her hand and kisses her.)

Actress: (Pulling her hand away.) Dont bite me!

Actor #1: I wasnt going to bite you. I was going to kiss you, Mara

Actress: Ah! I thought you were going to bite me. (She leaves. Actors #2 and #3 enter.)

Actor #2: Of course.

Actor #3: the following morning

Actors #2 and #3: He should have returned to look for work.

Actor #1: I traveled to various places, until at one.

Actor #3: Look, here We aint got nothin Except.

Actor #1: What?

Actor #3: Last night the night watchmans dog died.

Actor #2: He was thirty-five years old, poor guy.

Actors #2 and #3: Poor guy!

Actor #1: And I had to accept.

Actor #2: Thats right. We paid him fifteen pesos a day. Hmmm!...Hmmm!...Hmmm!....

Actors #2 and #3: Accepted! Fifteen it is! (They leave.)

Actress: (Enters.) Of course 450 pesos isnt enough to pay the rent.

Actor #1: Look, since Ive got a dog house move yourself to a place with four or five girls more,
huh?

Actress: There isnt another solution. And since it isnt enough to eat either.

Actor #1: Look, since Im accustomed to a bone, Ill bring you meat, huh?

Actors #2 and #3: (Entering.) The facts checked out!

Actor #1 and Actress: The facts checked out. Praised be!

(Actors #2 and #3 leave.)

Actor #1: I now had become accustomed to my situation. The doghouse seemed bigger to me.
Walking on four legs wasnt very different than walking on two. Mara and I used to see each
other in the plaza (He moves toward her.) Because she couldnt enter my doghouse; and since
I couldnt enter her place.Until one night.

Actress: We passed. And suddenly I felt sick.

Actor #1: Whats wrong with you?

Actress: Im dizzy.

Actor #1: Why?

Actress: (Crying.) I believe.that Im going to have, a child.

Actor #1: And for that you cry?

Actress: Im scared! Im scared!

Actor #1: But, why?

Actress: Im afraid! Im afraid! I dont want a child!

Actor #1: Why, Mara? Why?

Actress: Im scared.that hell be (she mutters dog. Actor #1 looks at her in terror, and
leaves running and barking. He falls to the ground. She stands up.) He left.he left running!
Sometimes on foot, and sometimes on four legs
Actor #1: Its not true, I didnt stand! I cant stand! My waist hurts when I stand! Woof! The cars
were almost running me over.People were looking at me. (Actors #2 and #3 enter.) Go away!
Havent you ever seen a dog?

Actor #2: Hes crazy! Call a doctor! (He leaves.)

Actor #3: Hes drunk! Call the police! (He leaves.)

Actress: Afterwards, they told me a man had compassion for him, and approached his lovingly.

Actor #2: (Enters.) Are you feeling bad, friend? You cant stay here on four legs. Do you know
how many beautiful things there are to see, on foot, with your eyes up? Lets see, stand up.Ill
help youcome on, stand up.

Actor #1: (He begins to stand up, and suddenly: ) Woof! Woof! (He bites him.) Woof! Woof! (He
leaves.)

Actor #3: (Enters.) In the end, after two years without seeing him, we asked his woman: How is
he? She answered us

Actress: I dont know.

Actor #2: Is he ok?

Actress: I dont know.

Actor #3: Is he not ok?

Actors #2 and #3: Where is he?

Actress: In the dog pound.

Actor #3: And when we came by there, a boxer passed our side.

Actor #2: And they told us that he couldnt read, but that it didnt matter because he was a
boxer.

Actor #3: And a soldier passed

Actress: And a police officer passed

Actor #2: And passed.and passed and all of you passed. And we thought that you might be
interested in the story of our friend.
Actress: Because maybe among all of you there was a woman who thought: Will I not have?
Will I not have? (She whispers: dog.)

Actor #3: Or someone who has been offered the job of the night watchmans dog.

Actress: If this is not so, we are happy.

Actor #2: But if it is so, if among all of you there is one who wants to change into a dog, like our
friend, thenwell, then that. That is another story!

(Curtain.)