Dear Ms.

Bamert,
Over the course of this quarter, I have gained lots of literacies when I comes to rhetorical
analysis, metacognition, as well as advanced revision processes. From reading articles and essays
as well as revising my pieces of work believe that I have gained lots of information that is
essential for me to succeed later in life when it comes to writing. Even though this quarter has
been very difficult I tried my best to make an effort when it came to writing my essays. For my
final portfolio project, I decided to include my first narrative along with the Discourse
Community Project. I was able to apply many revision processes when it came to these two
essays.
For my first narrative, I was given lots of advice from my peer editors. For example, I
was advised to elaborate more about how spending time with my sister and her friends reminds
me of my own friends at home and how this thought process led me to improve my mental
literacy state to hold my own friends close to me. I decided to add a piece that would make it
clearer was to add more background information to create a stronger connection between my
literacy and the story that had made me develop this certain literacy. By adding this line Over
the course of the summer I didnt contact my friends at all, and I felt so distanced from them. The
fact that I havent seen them had disappointed me and I realized that if I had any time with them
I would cherish it with all my heart. I decided that once I got home, I would invite all my close
friends to eat in a restaurant and talk about what has happened in our lives. This shows my
change in mindset and a development of a literacy caused by a certain memory.
For m discourse community project, I decided to apply the information that I had gained
from our one-on-one meeting to my essay writing. My first change was to place the quote written
by Erin Hallmark in my introduction since it connects what a discourse community is to art in
general. He says that art is a method of communication and expression created by a conscious
use of skill and imagination. I also tried to talk more about discourse community in my essay
and how the videogaming community can create actual art. I then use the game of Overwatch as
a specific example to explain my argument. Going off of what you said Ms. Bamert, I decided
that I would also talk more about communication in the game of Overwatch since it strongly
relates to the quote mentioned above. For that reason, I decided to take some time and talk about
how players interact. So, the following line in my project where I say that The ways of
communication in Overwatch are similar to many other games that have already been released at
this time, and all the lines that follow below until the end of the paragraph show different ways
of communication. I believe that by adding these changes I can make my essay flow much better
than before. Along with adding my primary sources, my essay will become very well developed.
If I had more time, I would change my first narrative to have less description and more
mental development. I would describe my mental process that led me to gain certain literacies
rather than describe the setting that I was in. For my Discourse community project, I would try
and integrate my primary sources into my essay much better by spreading them across the entire
paper rather than only having a singular paragraph that contains my primary research. I would
also use what I interviewed about my friend to support some of the claims that I made about the
Discourse community of people who play Overwatch.
When it comes to my future in writing, I believe the readings that we went over in class
helped me realize the many options that I have when it comes to exploring my creativity when it
comes to writing. For example, Shitty First Drafts taught me to just write and not make my
first draft my final draft. Another example would be Unteaching the Five Paragraph Essay,
where it taught me not to rely on a 5 paragraph to write a full and complete essay, that a piece of
literature can still be good if the writer writes above or below 5 paragraphs. These readings that
we went over in class can help improve my writing process for the future when I am possibly
writing a report for my work conducted in the field of electrical engineering. Learning these new
perspectives on writing has made me believe that I can write with confidence the next time I
receive a written assignment. By using these strategies I believe it is possible for me to improve
my writing for my future.

Sincerely,
Shaan Bhalaru