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Loneliness: How Can You Cope?
Loneliness: How Can You Cope?
"#2SEPTEMBER 2010
Loneliness
How CanYou Cope?
!"#2
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7 Audio recordings also available at www.jw.org. Awake! September 2010 5
being able to conde in my best friendmy Single parents too experience loneliness.
husband. Anny states that she misses her Parenthood involves not only joys but also
husband particularly when having important problems, and single parents have to solve
decisions to make concerning health prob- these without a partner to consult.
lems or other matters.
Old Age and Youthful Inexperience
Divorce, Separation, Unwanted The elderly may often feel lonely, even if
Singleness they are not neglected by family members.
A divorce or separation often leaves in its Relatives or friends may be able to visit occa-
wake feelings of loneliness and failure. Chil- sionally, but what about the other timesper-
dren commonly suer the most, much more haps the days or weeks when no one visits?
than was previously realized. Some experts At the other end of the age scale, young
believe that children of divorce are more li- people commonly suer loneliness. Many
able to become lonely adults. become addicted to solitary recreation
Those who are unmarried because they to watching TV, playing video games, and
cannot nd a suitable marriage mate com- spending countless hours alone in front of
monly experience periods of loneliness. Such their computer.
feelings may be intensied when others make Is it possible to nd a solution to this in-
tactless remarks, such as, Wouldnt you be creasing trend? How can one cope with lone-
happier married? liness?
STEPS TO
OVERCOMING
LONELINESS
Develop a positive
outlook
Limit isolated recreation,
such as TV viewing
Seek friends who share
your values, including
people not your own age
Above all, seek Gods
friendship
N 1972, at the age of 17, I joined a sports poised, qualities one wants to see in an ath-
I club. Soon I realized how much work I had
ahead of me if I was to become an elite
lete. I invited them in, and we sat down to
talk. After an enlightening discussion, they
athlete. Natural talent is not enough to be- left me a book entitled You Can Live Forever in
come a champion sprinter. But I was ready to Paradise on Earth.1 I began reading it. When
work. I was about halfway through, I realized that
When I was 22, I made the national team what it said was the truth. The women re-
of Finland. The next year I had the best aver- turned, and I asked them how I could become
age time for the 100-meter sprint of any ath- one of Jehovahs Witnesses. They answered
lete in Finland. Injuries to my Achilles ten- that I would need a Bible study.
don and hamstrings, however, kept me from I not only accepted a personal Bible study
reaching my potential. But my enthusiasm but also began attending meetings with the
for running was such that I turned to coach- Witnesses at the Kingdom Hall in Vantaa,
ing promising athletes. In 1982, I made plans where I was living. I found that what was
to move to California in the United States to taught was based on the Bible. In fact, the
study at a university and, in that more favor- Bible truths that I was learning gradually be-
able climate, pursue a career in sports. I evengan to change my views of what is really im-
purchased a plane ticket. portant in life. So I went to the travel agency
What Changed My Life and cashed in my airline ticket. I used part of
the money to purchase a suit to wear to meet-
One evening shortly before my scheduled
ings and a briefcase for carrying my Bible
trip to California, my doorbell rang. I opened
and Bible literature. I was baptized as one of
the door to nd two women who were Jeho-
vahs Witnesses. They were very calm and 1 Published by Jehovahs Witnesses but now out of print.
With Heidi in the ministry today At the 2009 convention of Jehovahs Witnesses
in Helsinki. Yvonne and Jouko on our left and
Jarmo and Barbro on our right
past, beautiful blankets and felt oor cover-
Yurts
Mobile Homes
ings were a reection of a familys wealth and
prestige.
A key piece of the yurt is the center ring,
or wheel, to which all the roof poles connect.
This sturdy, heavy ring gives stability to the
of Central Asia structure. A felt ap that covers the ring can
be thrown back to provide ventilation, or it
can be closed during inclement weather. On
clear nights families can throw back the felt
HAT is soft and round and keeps you ap and gaze up at the starry heavens through
W warm in winter but cool in summer? the opening in the roof.
For nomadic peoples in parts of Central Asia, Ideal for Nomadic Life
the answer is, A yurt! From the steppes of A nomadic way of life is still followed in
Mongolia and Kazakhstan to the mountains certain rural parts of such countries as Ka-
and valleys of Kyrgyzstan, these traditional zakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, and Mongolia. In her
dwellings were once a common sight. book YurtsLiving in the Round, Becky Kem-
A yurt is a round, tentlike structure that ery tells how camels are still used to move
has decorative reed mats lining its walls. yurts in Mongolia: The frame is loaded onto
Its outer layers are sheets of felt made from one camel with equal loads on each side. The
sheeps wool. Yurts are lightweight and easy roof wheel is loaded last; it ts neatly over
to assemble, yet sturdy and comfortable dur- the hump. The felts are loaded onto a sec-
ing hot summers and cold winters. The Kir- ond camel. Where camels are not available,
ghiz call the yurt a gray house; the Kazakhs, the herders use yak or horses to haul yurts on
a felt house; and the Mongolians, a ger, mean- carts, or the yurts may be driven to their new
ing home. destination in a Russian truck.
Yurts may be grayish-brown or bright Mongolian yurts have straight poles and
white, depending on the color of the wool atter roofs than others. They help the struc-
used. Kirghiz and Kazakh yurts are often tures to weather the strong winds and strikes
decorated with local designs of wool dyed in of lightning on the open plains. The yurts
bright colors that depict a rams horn. In the in Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan have a steep-
Yurts set up along famous Lake Issyk Kul in Kyrgyzstan
er, more rounded appearance. Usually, the There we set up our yurt beside a moun-
entrance of a yurt is positioned to face the tain stream, where we had ample water for
sun, allowing sunlight to enter. Inside, bright- cooking and washing. We stayed there until
ly decorated felt rugs and blankets are folded the weather turned cold in early October. So
and stacked on wooden chests opposite the the yurt still has a place in modern societies.
entrance. Customarily, an important guest or
The Modern-Day Yurt
the familys eldest male sits in front of this
colorful arrangement. In places such as Kyrgyzstan, it is common
to see yurts along the road. They are used as
The side of the yurt to the right of the en-
stores or cafes, where visitors can enjoy local
trance is designated for women. All the in- cuisine. Guests can also get the feel of tradi-
struments for cooking, cleaning, sewing, and tional Kirghiz living by staying overnight in a
feltmaking are kept here. The other side is for yurt in the mountains of Kyrgyzstan or along-
men. Saddles, riding whips, and other equip- side pristine Lake Issyk Kul.
ment for hunting and taking care of animals
are found there. Yurts also play a role in some traditional
Central Asian funeral customs. Maksat ex-
The Yurt Survives Political Changes plains, In Kyrgyzstan the deceased is placed
The lifestyle of the nomad took a dramatic inside the yurt, where family and friends can
turn after the Communist Revolution in 1917. come to mourn the loss of their loved one.
Throughout Central Asia the Russians built In recent times the yurt has made an ap-
schools, hospitals, and roads, introducing a pearance in Western lands. Some people
more settled way of life. have promoted the yurt as practical and less
Over time, many native peoples aban- intrusive on the environment. Most modern
doned their nomadic lifestyle to live in villag- yurts, though, are quite dierent from those
es and towns. Still, yurts are at times used built in earlier times. High-tech materials are
during summer months by shepherds caring used in their construction, and they are often
for sheep, cows, and horses on large collec- built to be more permanent structures.
tive ranches. While the origin of the yurt cannot be de-
As a teenager, recalls Maksat, a Kirghiz termined with certainty, the value of this
man now in his late 30s, I helped my fa- structure is without question. The yurt re-
ther care for the herd in his charge. By July, mains rooted in the nomadic spirit of the
when the snow had melted and the passes people of Central Asia and is an enduring
were open, we drove our animals to the high testimony to the ingenuity of resilient and
mountain pastures. adaptable people.
Awake! September 2010 17
From a
Tiny Acorn
to a
Mighty
Oak
lars love to feast on the oaks tender summer
leaves. But the tree defends itself. Maturing
leaves develop unappetizing tannins.
Every part of the tree is inhabited. The vast
array of insect life attracts a multitude of
birds and spiders. Beetles bore away under the
thick, ssured bark. Owls and colonies of bats
lodge inside hollow trunks. Small animals such
as mice, voles, rabbits, badgers, and foxes nd
The oak can live more than a thousand years shelter among the roots.
and reach 130 feet in height and more than
40 feet in girth The oak has its own disposal agents. Each
year a quarter of a million leaves fall from a
full-grown tree. Fungi and bacteria decompose
A tiny acorn, resembling a miniature egg in the leaf litter and recycle nutrients back into
Tree: 5 John Martin/Alamy; acorn: 5 David Chapman/Alamy
an eggcup, loses its hold on the tree and drops the soil. Some years, a tree will produce 50,-
to the ground. Buried by a scurrying squirrel 000 acorns. Most are gathered or eaten by
and then forgotten, the seed sprouts. In time, it birds and animals. Mites and beetles dispose
becomes a majestic oak, the mightiest of Brit- of dead wood, and fungi feed on the bark.
ains native forest trees. Oak timber is exceptionally strong and dura-
Celebrated in history and myth, the oak can ble. It has long been a favorite for building
live more than a thousand years. Some reach houses and making ne furniture. It is ideal for
130 feet in height! Old oaks are remarkable making barrels in which to age beer and wine.
for their massive trunks and spreading boughs. And sturdy sailing ships built of oak helped
While Britain has two native species of oak the British Navy to dominate the seas for many
trees, worldwide there are about 450 varieties. years.
What identies them all is their seed, the tiny Oak timber is still valued. And the tree, an in-
acorn. tegral part of the British landscape, is justly
The oak tree hosts a greater variety of wild- admired for its strength, dependability, and en-
life than any other British tree. This includes durance. From a tiny acorn grows a mighty oak
large numbers of insect species. Many caterpil- yet another marvel of creation!
18 Awake! September 2010
It May Well Be Just a Song
Juliana was a dear elderly Christian in the songs, she started to sing an old Filipino love
Philippines who had developed Alzheimers dis- song.
ease. She no longer recognized even her own No, Juliana, I said, not a song from the ra-
children. Nevertheless, I would go to see Ju- dio but from the Kingdom Hall.1 Then I began
liana whenever I was in the area. to sing another song from our songbook, and
Juliana was bedridden and would just stare she joined right in with me. Her eyes were shin-
out the window. It was hard to be with her, as ing. Gone was the blank stare, and her smile
she no longer remembered me. She looked at reached from ear to ear.
me with big eyes, but there was no life or spark By this time neighbors had run out to see
of recognition in them. Do you still think about where the singing was coming from. They
Jehovah? I asked. I told her an experience and stood at the window watching and listening to
asked some more questions, but there was us. It was wonderful to see how the music
no indication that she understood. Then I start- touched Julianas heart! It had caused her to
ed to sing a song. What happened next was so remember the words of the song.
heartwarming! I learned from this experience that you never
Juliana turned her head, looked at me, and know what will penetrate the darkness and
started to sing with me! Soon, I had to give reach those who are for the most part unable
up because I did not know all the words in the to understand or communicate. It may well be
local Tagalog language by heart. But Juliana just a song.
kept singing. She remembered all three stan- Not long after the above occurred, Juliana
zas. Quickly, I asked the person with me if she died. I was reminded of the experience when
would borrow a songbook from a Witness who listening to the stirring new recorded music re-
lived nearby. She returned with it right away. leased by Jehovahs Witnesses in 2009. You
I didnt know the number of the song but may want to inquire of them locally as to how
happened to open up to the right page. This you might obtain these beautiful, moving re-
cordings.
time we sang the whole song together! When
I asked Juliana if she remembered any other 1 The name of the meeting places of Jehovahs Witnesses.
1 Some names in this article have been changed.
AVE your thoughts ever been similar to Tip 11: Talk about it. The Bible says: A
H those of Kellie or Rick? If so, dont hasti-
ly conclude that theres something wrong
true companion is loving all the time, and is
a brother that is born for when there is dis-
with you. The fact is, everyone gets sad now tress.Proverbs 17:17.
and then. Even faithful men and women of Kellie: The relief I feel after talking to
the Bible did. someone is amazing. Finally, someone knows
In some cases, you may know why you are what Im going through. They can lower the
sad; in other cases, you may not. You dont rope and pull me out of the pitsaved at last!
have to be in a horrible situation to feel sad,
says 19-year-old Anna. It can come on at Suggestion: Below, write the name of a
any time, even if your life is trouble free. Its true companion in whom you could conde
weird, but it happens! when sadness overwhelms you.
Regardless of the causeor even if there
doesnt seem to be onewhat can you do Tip 12: Write about it. When sadness
when sadness holds you in its grip? clouds your outlook on life, you might want
20 Awake! September 2010
to try putting your thoughts on paper. In his WHAT YOUR PEERS SAY
inspired psalms, David sometimes expressed
deep sadness. (Psalm 6:6) Writing about such
feelings can help you to safeguard practical
wisdom and thinking ability.Proverbs 3:21.
Heather: Writing helps me to organize the
mental clutter that accumulates from sad-
Sadness usually
comes on when Im
focusing too much on
myself. So any time I can
ness. When you can express your feelings and help others, that makes
sort them out, the sadness is less overwhelm- my focus shift and then
ing. I am able to regain my
happiness.
Suggestion: Some choose to keep a journal.
If you do, what might you put in it? When
youre sad, describe how you feel and what
you think may be at the root of your sadness.
A month later, read what you wrote. Have
Drenelle
your feelings on the matter changed? If so,
write down what helped you.
Tip 13: Pray about it. The Bible says that
if you pray about your concerns, the peace of
God that excels all thought will guard your
heart and your mental powers.Philippians
When I keep up
a good exercise rou-
tine, my bad moods
come less often be-
cause I start to feel
4:7. good about myself.
Esther: I was trying to gure out why I felt And exercise uses up
so down, and I couldnt. I asked Jehovah to my energy so that
help me to be happy. I was sick of being sad when Im done, I cant
when I had no reason to be. I nally broke be bothered with feel-
the cycle. Never underestimate the power of ing bad anymore!
prayer!
Suggestion: Use Psalm 139:23, 24 as a pat-
tern for your own prayer to Jehovah. Pour out
your heart, and ask him to help you identify
Rebekah
the root of your sadness.
In addition to the suggestions above, you your thoughts, feelings, and actions. (Psalm
have a valuable resource in Gods Word. 1:1-3) Stimulating, exciting accounts are con-
(Psalm 119:105) Filling your mind with up- tained in the Bible book of Acts. Further sug-
building thoughts that can be gleaned from gestions for upbuilding Bible reading can be
Bible accounts can have a positive eect on found by considering the nine Role Model
pages in Questions Young People AskAnswers
That Work, Volume 2, published by Jehovahs
including the book of Revelation. Witnesses. Among the Bible accounts consid-
ordinary. 5. He was inspired to write parts of the Bible, ered on these pages are those of Joseph, Hez-
first. 4. No. They considered John to be unlettered and
3. God promises to care for us if we put his interests
ekiah, Lydia, and David. On page 227, you
1. In the temple. 2. The widow gave God all she could. will even see how the apostle Paul successful-
ly dealt with negative feelings that he some-
ANSWERS TO PAGE 31
times felt because of his imperfections.
Awake! September 2010 21
But what if despite your eorts feelings of
sadness just wont go away?
When Sadness Wont Go Away
On some mornings, says Ryan, I feel
that it would be easier just to stay in bed and
avoid having to get up and face another point- With assistance
less day. Ryan suers from clinical depres- and eort, you
can get out of
sion, and hes not alone. Studies suggest that a deep pit of
about 1 in 4 youths suers from some type of sadness
depression before reaching adulthood.
How can you nd out if you suer from
depression? Some symptoms include a pro-
nounced change in mood and behavior, so-
cial isolation, diminished interest in almost
all activities, a notable change in eating hab-
its and sleeping patterns, and intense feelings
of worthlessness or unwarranted guilt.
Of course, nearly everyone has one or
more of those symptoms at some time or an-
other. But if symptoms persist for more than a
couple of weeks, why not talk to your parents
about getting a checkup? A physician may be
able to help determine if your sadness has a
medical cause.1 time! Consequently, whether your sadness is
If you do suer from clinical depression, caused by depression or not, remember the
there is nothing to be ashamed of. With treat- comforting words of Psalm 34:18: Jehovah is
ment, many suerers have begun to feel bet- near to those that are broken at heart; and
terperhaps the best they have felt in a long those who are crushed in spirit he saves.
1 When sadness is prolonged, some youths think about end-
ing their life. If you have entertained such thoughts, talk to More articles from the Young People Ask
a trusted adult without delay.See Awake! of May 2008, pag- series can be found at the Web site
es 26-28. www.watchtower.org/ype
TO THINK ABOUT
Are there benets to shedding How can others help you cope
tears? with sadness?
Ive never been one who cries very easily, When Im sad, I need to avoid isolating
but it has become a necessity in times of myself. Yes, I may need to be alone to
sadness. Having a good cry is like hitting a process my thoughts and maybe have a
reset button. I start thinking rationally and good cry. But after that, I know I need to be
I can see the futurewith happiness on the around people to get my mind o whatever
horizon.Leanne. was making me sad.Christine.
THE WESTERN
HEMISPHERES
King of the CENTRAL
AMERICA
HAT is it? The jaguar, the largest cat tapirs, deer, and monkeys.
W in the Americas. Where might you nd
it? In jungles, swamps, forests, deserts, and
Because it is at home in the
water, the jaguar also catches
scrublands of Central and South America. sh and turtles with ease. Ob-
Unlike most cats, this one is at home not only servers once saw a jaguar kill a
on the ground or in the trees but even in the full-grown horse, drag it some
water. 250 feet on dry ground, and
Try to picture yourself standing next to a then pull it across a river.
full-grown male jaguar. It may be up to six This clever cat often waits
feet long, not including the tail, and weigh for its prey while perched si-
260 pounds or more. Being a solitary crea- lently in a tree. As an un-
ture, the jaguar meets with others of its spe- suspecting herd of peccaries
cies only to mate. A male is ready for this by fast, piglike creaturespass
the age of three or four, while a female may below, the jaguar pounces.
have her rst litter by age two. Her litter of With one powerful bite, it kills
usually two cubs is born after developing in one and quickly springs back into the tree. It
the womb for three to four months. Some jag- waits there for the herd to pass and then re-
uars are known to live more than 20 years in covers its kill.
captivity. Yet, the jaguar is the least likely of the big
Regarding the mystery and elusiveness of cats to attack a human, and it has never been
these large cats, one biologist noted: Jag- listed as a man-eater. In fact, humans are a
uars are so hard to nd! I can be standing much greater threat to the jaguar than the jag-
right next to one, . . . and still I may never see uar is to them.
it. The cats tawny golden coat splashed with
Why So Few
black rosettes, which enclose smaller spots,
Jaguars once roamed from the southern
helps it hide and then disappear into the shad-
ows without being seen. United States to near the tip of South Ameri-
ca. Today, they have disappeared from near-
A Lone, Silent Hunter ly half their range of a hundred years ago.
An experienced hunter, the jaguar feeds Until the mid-1970s, hunters killed thousands
on about 85 species of animals, including of jaguars every year for their pelts. In 1968
24 Awake! September 2010
alone, over 13,500 of these were exported that make it illegal to hunt jaguars for com-
from the Americas. In 2002, it was estimat- mercial purposes. National park preserves
ed that fewer than 50,000 jaguars remained. have been created to protect their natural
Now perhaps only about 15,000 are left that habitat. In 1986 the Cockscomb Basin Wild-
are not in zoos. life Sanctuary in Belize became the worlds
A Wildlife Conservation Society study re-rst jaguar preserve. Additionally, Mexico
ports that nearly 40 percent of the jaguarshas set aside more than 370,000 acres of trop-
traditional homeland has been destroyed by ical forest within the
Calakmul Biosphere Re-
serve on the Yucatan Peninsula to protect the
deforestation. In Mexico alone, habitat equiv-
jaguar.
alent to the size of a football eld report-
edly disappears every minute. This How successful such human eorts will be
to preserve this king of the jungle remains
forces the jaguar to prey on live-
stock in order to survive. to be seen. Yet, we can be comforted in know-
ing that our loving Creator will soon bring to
Eorts to Preserve ruin those ruining the earth and that in time
Some 200 countries support reg- peace will exist between mankind and the ani-
ulations of the Convention on Inter- mals, as God intended.Revelation 11:18; Isa-
national Trade in Endangered Species iah 11:6-9.
The Amazing
Hemoglobin Molecule
A Miracle of Design
REATHINGwhat could
B be more natural? Most of
us rarely give it a thought.
Heme
Oxygen
Breathing, however, could not
keep us alive if it were not for
the human hemoglobin mole-
cule, a complex molecular mas-
terpiece designed by our Creator.
The hemoglobin that is inside each
of our 30 trillion red blood cells trans-
Iron
ports the oxygen from the lungs to the atom
tissues throughout the body. Without he-
moglobin, we would die almost instantly.
In the oxygen-rich After the rst oxygen molecule Hemoglobin transports the
environment of the lungs, binds, a slight change in the oxygen molecules away from
an oxygen molecule will shape of hemoglobin allows the lungs and then releases
bind to the hemoglobin three more oxygen molecules to them where they are needed
bind rapidly in the body
WHAT DO YOU
KNOW ABOUT
THE APOSTLE
JOHN?
3. Why can you be sure that the widow did not suer, even
though she gave her whole living? CLUE: Read Matthew 6:25, FOR DISCUSSION:
31-33. How many Bible books did
John write? How can you
imitate John?
FOR DISCUSSION:
Do you think that this widow made a good decision?
Why do you answer that way? What will happen if Answers on page 21
you form the habit of giving generously?
CLUE: Read Luke 6:38; Acts 20:35.
Irena, an 8th-grade student, lives in Kurtovo in my career as a teacher have I seen such
Konare, a village in Bulgaria. Her mother gave respect and exemplary upbringing.
her teacher the book Questions Young People The teacher then asked Irena to read. After
AskAnswers That Work at a parent-teacher she read a paragraph that explained that God
meeting. granted parents the right to set rules, the
Sometime afterward, the teacher, holding teacher asked: Irena, how does that work in
the book, called Irena up before the class. your family? Do you view as law everything
Today you will conduct the class, she told your parents tell you?
Irena. I have selected a chapter for you to Each of us may have our own opinion,
read, and I want you to describe how your Irena explained, but the Bible says that chil-
family applies the suggestions in it. The dren should respect their parents and submit
chapter she chose was Why Should I Honor to them, and we do. Still, we are allowed to
My Father and My Mother? discuss matters together, and each of us has
On Irenas way up to the front, some of the chance to express our opinion. When the
her classmates remarked that her parents class was over, everyone was satised.
were dierent. The teacher interrupted them You may request a copy of this book by ll-
and said: Do you know why their family is ing in the accompanying coupon and mailing
dierent? It is because they are studying the it to the address provided or to an appropriate
Bible. I have taught her brothers, and never address on page 5 of this magazine.
State
ZIP Code