Success

Tweets
Explained
140 Bits of Common Sense
Career Success Advice
All in 140 Characters or Less
Explained in Detail

Bud Bilanich
The Common Sense Guy
 SuccessTweets
Explained

140BitsofCommonSense
CareerSuccessAdvice
Allin140CharactersorLess
ExplainedinDetail

BudBilanich
TheCommonSenseGuy

Copyright2011BudBilanich

Allrightsreserved.

ISBN:9780983454311

FrontRowPress

191UniversityBlvd.,#414Denver,CO80246303.393.0446

2
 Dedication

Asalways,thisbookisforCathy

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Thats140hugsandkisses

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 TableOfContents
INTRODUCTION ......................................................................................................................................................9

SUCCESSTWEET1 ................................................................................................................................................10

SUCCESSTWEET2 ................................................................................................................................................13
SUCCESSTWEET3 ................................................................................................................................................17

SUCCESSTWEET4 ................................................................................................................................................21

SUCCESSTWEET5 ................................................................................................................................................23

SUCCESSTWEET6 ................................................................................................................................................25

SUCCESSTWEET7 ................................................................................................................................................27

SUCCESSTWEET8 ................................................................................................................................................29
SUCCESSTWEET9 ................................................................................................................................................32

SUCCESSTWEET10 ..............................................................................................................................................35
SUCCESSTWEET11 ..............................................................................................................................................37
SUCCESSTWEET12 ..............................................................................................................................................39

SUCCESSTWEET13 ..............................................................................................................................................41

SUCCESSTWEET14 ..............................................................................................................................................44
SUCCESSTWEET15 ..............................................................................................................................................46

SUCCESSTWEET16 ..............................................................................................................................................49

SUCCESSTWEET17 ..............................................................................................................................................52
SUCCESSTWEET18 ..............................................................................................................................................54

SUCCESSTWEET19 ..............................................................................................................................................56

SUCCESSTWEET20 ..............................................................................................................................................59

SUCCESSTWEET21 ..............................................................................................................................................61
SUCCESSTWEET22 ..............................................................................................................................................63

SUCCESSTWEET23 ..............................................................................................................................................66

SUCCESSTWEET24 ..............................................................................................................................................69
SUCCESSTWEET25 ..............................................................................................................................................72

SUCCESSTWEET26 ..............................................................................................................................................75
SUCCESSTWEET27 ..............................................................................................................................................77

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SUCCESSTWEET28 ..............................................................................................................................................79
SUCCESSTWEET29 ..............................................................................................................................................81

SUCCESSTWEET30 ..............................................................................................................................................83

SUCCESSTWEET31 ..............................................................................................................................................85

SUCCESSTWEET32 ..............................................................................................................................................88
SUCCESSTWEET33 ..............................................................................................................................................91
SUCCESSTWEET34 ..............................................................................................................................................93

SUCCESSTWEET35 ............................................................................................................................................102

SUCCESSTWEET36 ............................................................................................................................................105
SUCCESSTWEET37 ............................................................................................................................................107
SUCCESSTWEET38 ............................................................................................................................................110

SUCCESSTWEET39 ............................................................................................................................................113

SUCCESSTWEET40 ............................................................................................................................................116
SUCCESSTWEET41 ............................................................................................................................................119

SUCCESSTWEET42 ............................................................................................................................................121

SUCCESSTWEET43 ............................................................................................................................................124

SUCCESSTWEET44 ............................................................................................................................................127

SUCCESSTWEET45 ............................................................................................................................................131

SUCCESSTWEET46 ............................................................................................................................................133
SUCCESSTWEET47 ............................................................................................................................................135
SUCCESSTWEET48 ............................................................................................................................................137

SUCCESSTWEET49 ............................................................................................................................................139

SUCCESSTWEET50 ............................................................................................................................................142
SUCCESSTWEET51 ............................................................................................................................................147
SUCCESSTWEET52 ............................................................................................................................................151

SUCCESSTWEET53 ............................................................................................................................................153

SUCCESSTWEET54 ............................................................................................................................................156
SUCCESSTWEET55 ............................................................................................................................................159

SUCCESSTWEET56 ............................................................................................................................................161

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SUCCESSTWEET57 ............................................................................................................................................164
SUCCESSTWEET58 ............................................................................................................................................167

SUCCESSTWEET59 ............................................................................................................................................170

SUCCESSTWEET60 ............................................................................................................................................172

SUCCESSTWEET61 ............................................................................................................................................174
SUCCESSTWEET62 ............................................................................................................................................177
SUCCESSTWEET63 ............................................................................................................................................180

SUCCESSTWEET64 ............................................................................................................................................184

SUCCESSTWEET65 ............................................................................................................................................187
SUCCESSTWEET66 ............................................................................................................................................190
SUCCESSTWEET67 ............................................................................................................................................192

SUCCESSTWEET68 ............................................................................................................................................196

SUCCESSTWEET69 ............................................................................................................................................199
SUCCESSTWEET70 ............................................................................................................................................201

SUCCESSTWEET71 ............................................................................................................................................204

SUCCESSTWEET72 ............................................................................................................................................206

SUCCESSTWEET73 ............................................................................................................................................209

SUCCESSTWEET74 ............................................................................................................................................212

SUCCESSTWEET75 ............................................................................................................................................215
SUCCESSTWEET76 ............................................................................................................................................219
SUCCESSTWEET77 ............................................................................................................................................222

SUCCESSTWEET78 ............................................................................................................................................224

SUCCESSTWEET79 ............................................................................................................................................227
SUCCESSTWEET80 ............................................................................................................................................229
SUCCESSTWEET81 ............................................................................................................................................231

SUCCESSTWEET82 ............................................................................................................................................234

SUCCESSTWEET83 ............................................................................................................................................237
SUCCESSTWEET84 ............................................................................................................................................240

SUCCESSTWEET85 ............................................................................................................................................242

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SUCCESSTWEET86 ............................................................................................................................................244
SUCCESSTWEET87 ............................................................................................................................................246

SUCCESSTWEET88 ............................................................................................................................................250

SUCCESSTWEET89 ............................................................................................................................................252

SUCCESSTWEET90 ............................................................................................................................................254
SUCCESSTWEET91 ............................................................................................................................................256
SUCCESSTWEET94 ............................................................................................................................................263

SUCCESSTWEET95 ............................................................................................................................................265

SUCCESSTWEET96 ............................................................................................................................................267
SUCCESSTWEET97 ............................................................................................................................................270
SUCCESSTWEET98 ............................................................................................................................................273

SUCCESSTWEET99 ............................................................................................................................................275

SUCCESSTWEET100 ..........................................................................................................................................277
SUCCESSTWEET101 ..........................................................................................................................................280

SUCCESSTWEET102 ..........................................................................................................................................284

SUCCESSTWEET103 ..........................................................................................................................................286

SUCCESSTWEET104 ..........................................................................................................................................288

SUCCESSTWEET105 ..........................................................................................................................................293

SUCCESSTWEET106 ..........................................................................................................................................296
SUCCESSTWEET107 ..........................................................................................................................................298
SUCCESSTWEET108 ..........................................................................................................................................300

SUCCESSTWEET109 ..........................................................................................................................................302

SUCCESSTWEET110 ..........................................................................................................................................304
SUCCESSTWEET111 ..........................................................................................................................................307
SUCCESSTWEET112 ..........................................................................................................................................311

SUCCESSTWEET113 ..........................................................................................................................................315

SUCCESSTWEET114 ..........................................................................................................................................318
SUCCESSTWEET115 ..........................................................................................................................................320

SUCCESSTWEET116 ..........................................................................................................................................325

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SUCCESSTWEET117 ..........................................................................................................................................328
SUCCESSTWEET118 ..........................................................................................................................................330

SUCCESSTWEET119 ..........................................................................................................................................333

SUCCESSTWEET120 ..........................................................................................................................................335

SUCCESSTWEET121 ..........................................................................................................................................337
SUCCESSTWEET122 ..........................................................................................................................................341
SUCCESSTWEET123 ..........................................................................................................................................344

SUCCESSTWEET124 ..........................................................................................................................................346

SUCCESSTWEET125 ..........................................................................................................................................348
SUCCESSTWEET126 ..........................................................................................................................................351
SUCCESSTWEET127 ..........................................................................................................................................353

SUCCESSTWEET128 ..........................................................................................................................................356

SUCCESSTWEET129 ..........................................................................................................................................358
SUCCESSTWEET130 ..........................................................................................................................................361

SUCCESSTWEET131 ..........................................................................................................................................364

SUCCESSTWEET132 ..........................................................................................................................................367

SUCCESSTWEET135 ..........................................................................................................................................375

SUCCESSTWEET136 ..........................................................................................................................................377

SUCCESSTWEET137 ..........................................................................................................................................380
SUCCESSTWEET138 ..........................................................................................................................................382
SUCCESSTWEET139 ..........................................................................................................................................385

SUCCESSTWEET140 ..........................................................................................................................................387

SUCCESSTWEET141 ..........................................................................................................................................390

8
Introduction

In2010,IpublishedSuccessTweets:140BitsofCommonSenseCareerSuccessAdvice,
Allin140CharactersorLess,andoffereditasafreedownload.Over5,000peoplehave
takenmeuponmyoffersince.

Ivereceivedmanythankyounotesandnicecomplimentsonthebook.Ivealso
receivedafewquestions.Peopleemailedtoaskforclarificationonafewofthetweets.

SoIdecidedtowriteaseriesofblogpostsexplainingmythoughtsoneachofthe141
tweetsinSuccessTweets.IbegantheseriesinApril2010andcompleteditin
November.Thattook28weeksandover120,000words.Ispentthistimeandeffort
becauseIwanttogiveyouallofmybestthinkingonwhatittakestobecomealifeand
careersuccess.

YoucanseetheSuccessTweetsBlogatwww.SuccessTweets.com.Ihadsuchgreat
feedbackontheSuccessTweetsBlogthatIvedecidedtocompiletheblogpostsintoan
eBook.

IviewthiseBookasacompanionpiecetoSuccessTweets.Keepitnexttoyourcopyof
SuccessTweets.Youcanrefertoitwhenyouwanttofurtherexploretheideasina
specifictweet.

LikeSuccessTweets,thiseBookismygifttoyou.Ihopeithelpsyoucreatethelifeand
careersuccessyouwantanddeserve.

BudBilanich
DenverColoradoUSA
November2010

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Succe ssTweet 1

Defineexactlywhatlifeandcareersuccessmeantoyou.Itseasiertohitaclear,
unambiguoustarget.

Careersuccessbeginswithclarityofpurposeanddirection.Asthetweetsays,itseasier
tohitaclear,unambiguoustarget.Successfulpeopleknowwhattheywantinlife.
However,careersuccessmeansdifferentthingstodifferentpeople.

WhenIgraduatedfromPennStatein1972,Ichosetodoayearofservice.Ibecamea
VISTA(VolunteersInServiceToAmerica)Volunteer.Iworkedforagrassroots
communitygroupinNorthPhiladelphia.Ihadasuccessfulyear.Iwroteaproposalthat
wasfundedbytheUSDepartmentofHealth,EducationandWelfare.Wereceiveda
granttodoSickleCellAnemiaawarenessandscreeninginthecommunity.Thegrant
providedsomemuchneededjobsinthecommunity.Moreimportant,wewereableto
identifylocalpeoplewhocarriedtheSickleCellgeneandmakethemawareofits
consequences.

Ienjoyedtheexperiencetremendously;somuchsothatItookajobasaVISTAtrainer,
trainingnewvolunteers.Iwasafulltime,butweusedseveralindependenttraining
consultantsandcoachestohelpuswithourwork.Thesefolksworkedoutoftheir
homes,travelingtotheassignments.Ilikedtheirlifestyle.Theywereabletodowork
theylovedhelpingpeoplelearnnewskillsandtheyhadthefreedomandflexibility
thatcamewithbeingselfemployed.Ofcourse,theyhadtogenerateenoughincometo
fundtheirlifestyle,butthatappealedtotheentrepreneurinme.

BythetimeIwas25,IknewthatIwantedtobecomeanindependentcoachand
consultant.IknewthatIneededsomeadditionaleducationandexperiencetobeable
todothissuccessfully.SoIwentbacktoschoolandreceivedanMAandPhD.Iworked
intheTrainingandDevelopmentDepartmentsofthreeFortune500companies,moving
uptheladder,takingincreasinglymoreresponsiblepositions.Allthiswasinpreparation
forthatdayinMarch1988whenIresignedmyjobandstruckoutonmyown.

22yearslater,ImdoingwhatIdecidedIwantedtodowhenIwas24or25yearsold.
ImdoingsomethingsthatIdidntimaginewaybackthenbloggingandwritingbooks.

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However,mylifetodayismuchasIimagineditin1975.Myclarityofpurposewasvery
instrumentalinhelpingmebecomethecareersuccessandcareersuccesscoachIam
today.

Ihaveafriendwhoisaserialentrepreneur.Hestartedasoftwarebusinesswhenhe
was27.Hebuiltitupandsoldittoamajorcomputermanufacturerbythetimehewas
35.Hehassincestartedandsoldfourothercompanies.Hisclarityofpurposeliesinthe
challengeofcreatingsomethingnew,buildingitintoaviable,sustainablebusinessand
thenmovingon.

IhaveanotherfriendwhorecentlyretiredastheExecutiveVPofHumanResourcesfora
Fortune50company.Wewerechattingafewdaysago.Shetoldmethatwhenshewas
incollege,shedecidedthatshewasgoingtojoinagoodcompanyandworkherwayup
theladder.ShetookanentrylevelHRjobwithacompanysheliked.Ittookherover25
years,butsheeventuallybecamethemostseniorHRpersoninthatcompany.Her
clarityofpurposeanddefinitionofsuccesswasdifferentfrommineandtheserial
entrepreneurs,butshereachedhergoal.

Mysecondfriendtoldmethathersonhasyetadifferentdefinitionofsuccess.Heis
notinterestedinclimbingthecorporateladder,orinbeinganentrepreneur.Hewants
aninterestingjobwherehecancontribute,buthedoesntwanttospendinordinate
amountsoftimeatwork.Hewantstospendasmuchtimewithhisfamilyashecan.
Hisdefinitionofsuccessisdifferentfromhismothers.

Ivejusttoldyoufourstoriesaboutfourdifferentpeople.Allfourofusareprofessional
successesaccordingtoourclarityofpurpose.

Asacareersuccesscoach,Ioftentellmyclientsthatthereisnoonecorrectdefinitionof
careersuccess.Thereareasmanydefinitionsastherearepeopleinthisworld.Your
definitionofcareersuccessiswhatsrightforyounotanyoneelse.Iwouldnothave
beenhappybuildingandsellinganumberofbusinessesinsuccession,climbinga
corporateladderorworkingforalargecompanyinanindividualcontributorposition.
However,asyoucantellfromthestoriesofthethreepeopleabove,theywere.They
knewwhattheywantedandtheywentafterit.

Thatswhydefiningyourclarityofpurposeissoimportant.Yourclarityofpurpose
providesbothafoundationandlaunchingpadforyourcareersuccess.Theoldsaying,

11
Ifyoudontknowwhereyouregoing,youwontknowwhenyougetthere,isaclich,
buttrue.Gettingclearonyourpersonaldefinitionofcareersuccessisthefirststepto
becomingacareersuccess.

Thecommonsense,careersuccesscoachpointofthistweetissimple.Careersuccessbegins
withaclearideaofhowyoudefinesuccessforyoupersonally.Tweet1inSuccessTweetssays,
Defineexactlywhatlifeandcareersuccessmeantoyou.Itseasiertohitaclear,unambiguous
target.Ifyouhaventalreadydoneso,Isuggestyoutakesometimeandthinkaboutyour
clarityofpurpose.Howdoyoudefinelifeandcareersuccessforyourself?Keepthatpurpose
anddefinitionofcareersuccessinmindasyoumoveforwardinyourlifeandcareer.

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Succe ssTweet 2

Themoreclearyouareaboutwhatsuccessmeanstoyoupersonally,theeasieritwill
betocreatethelifeandcareeryouwant.

Inthefirstpostinthisseries,ItoldhowIdecidedthatIwantedtobeanindependent
careersuccesscoachearlyinmycareer.IwasfortunateinthatIhadseveralgoodrole
modelspeoplewithwhomIwasworkingwhohadthecareertowhichIaspired.It
wasreasonablyeasyformetobeveryclearonwhatIwantedoutofmylifeandcareer.

Ialwaysadvisemycareersuccesscoachclientstodevelopaclearmentalimageof
themselvesasasuccess.Itellthemthatthisimageshouldbeasvividastheycanmake
it.

WhenIwas25,Iconjuredupanimageofmyselfasacareersuccesscoach,motivational
speaker,andmanagementconsultant.IworkedinmyhomeofficewhereIwroteand
developedtheprogramsIdeliveredatclientlocations.Thisofficehadafloortoceiling
wallofbooksthatIcoulduseforeasyreference.ItalsohadastateoftheartIBM
Selectrictypewriterandabig,clunkytelephone.PCsandtheInternetwerescience
fictionin1975.

Ialsosawmyselfhavingonetoonecoachingdiscussionswithseniorleadersinavariety
oforganizations,conductingtrainingandteambuildingsessionsinconferenceroomsat
theirlocations.Amazingly,manyofthepeopleinthesessionsweresmoking.Ihadvery
vividimagesofstandinginfrontoflargeaudiencesatsalesmeetingsdoingtalks.Isaw
myselfatabookstoresigningabookIhadwritten.Ialsosawmyselfonairplanes,
travelingtomycoaching,speakingandconsultinggigs.

Allofthesevividimagescametrue.MyofficeismuchasIhadimagineditexceptit
hastwoPCsandcellphone,notaSelectrictypewriterandclunkyphone.Thewallof
booksisthereoverflowing.Ivewritten11ofthebooksontheshelf.Peopledont
smokeinmycoaching,trainingandteambuildingsessionsanymore;andIuse
PowerPointinsteadofhandwrittenflipcharts,butthebigstuffisthesameasIve
imaginedit.IvecoachedpeopleandspokentoaudiencesalloverNorthAmerica,in
LatinAmerica,EuropeandAsia.IamamillionmileflyerwithContinentalAirLines.

13
ImlivingmydreaminlargepartbecauseIdaredtodreamitallthoseyearsago.

Youcanbegincreatingyourvividmentalimageofyourselfasacareersuccesswith
affirmations.Affirmationsarepositiveselftalk.Theideabehindaffirmationsisthat
whenyouthinkofthethingstowhichyouaspire,likebecomingacareersuccess,and
thentellyourselfthatyouareacareersuccess,youwillbelievethatyoucanbecomea
careersuccess.Moreimportantly,youwillbemorelikelytodotheworkittakesto
makethataspirationcometrue.

Acoupleofyearsago,IwroteabookcalledStarPower,CommonSenseIdeasforCareer
andLifeSuccess.Iusedastartodepicttheideasinthebook.Iurgedreaderstothink
ofthemselvesasastarandtoaspiretobecomingacareerandlifestar.Ilikethestar
metaphor.Daily,Irepeatthefollowingaffirmationtomyself:BudBilanichisastar.

Ivedonealotofworkinmakingthisaffirmationarealityredoingmywebsite,
developingbetterpromotionalmaterials,speaking,writingbooks,bloggingand
podcasting.

Ivealsodonesomethingalittleunusual.Afewyearsago,rightafterStarPowerwas
published,IwenttotheNameaStarwebsiteandnamedastaraftermyself.NowI
cansay,BudBilanichisastarandreallybelieveit,becauseBudBilanichreallyisastar.
Itseasyformetovisualizemyselfasastar,becauseIamastar.

BudBilanich,thestar,isCatalogNumberTYC86810111intheconstellationLeo.Bud
BilanichhasaVisualMagnitudeindicatorof11.2.RightAscensionis11h58m21s.
Declinationis11degrees,43,18.Idonthaveacluewhatallofthesethingsmean,
excepttheconstellationLeo,whichIchosebecausemybirthdayisAugust14.ButIdo
knowonething.BudBilanichisastar!

Howsthatforanaffirmation?

Affirmationswork.Ihavebecomeaminorstarinthecareersuccesscoachworld.You
dontneedtogotothelengthsIdidtomakethemworkeither.Justdecidewhatyou
want,visualizeyourselfashavingit,andtellyourselfyouhaveit.Thendowhateverit
takestomakeyouraffirmationcometrue.

Affirmationsalone,however,arenotenoughtoguaranteeyourcareersuccess.You
havetodothework.Spendthetimenecessarytoaccomplishyourgoals.Volunteerfor

14
projectsthatwillgetyounoticed.Becomeanexpertonyourcompany,itscompetitors,
andyourindustry.Inotherwords,bustyourbutt,andyouwillsucceed.

Todevelopaclearpictureofyouasacareersuccess,youneedtocarefullythink
throughyourprioritiesandthenalignyourbehaviortoensurethatyouareliving
accordingtothem.Todoso,askyourselftwoveryimportantquestions:

1. WhatdoIwanttodointhislife?
2. WhatistheresultIwanttoachieve?
Theanswerstothesetwoquestionswillnotonlyguidethebigdecisionsyoumake,they
willserveasaguideforlivingyourlifeonadaytodaybasis.

Heresanotherwaytolookatit.Imaginethatyourenearingtheendofyourlife.You
feelhappy,contentandsatisfied.Youdontfeardeathbecauseyouvehadahappyand
prosperouslife.Youvelivedandlovedandfeelthatyouvebeenblessed.

Onceyougetyourselfintothisframeofmind,lookbackatyourlifeandwhatyouve
accomplished.Ofalltheseaccomplishments,whatmattersthemosttoyou?What
challengesdidyouovercomealongthewaytotheseaccomplishments?Howdidyoudo
it?Whatmessagesdidyousendtoothersbythewayyoulivedyourlife?

Thisvisualizationexercisewillhelpyouinclarifyingyourpurposeanddirectioninthis
life.Itsimportantbecauseithelpsyoucreateavividmentalimageofwhatsuccess
lookslikeforyoupersonally.Thisisnotdaydreaming.Itisrealwork.Youare
designingyourfutureinyourmind.

WhenIwasyounger,Irealizedthatmypurposeinlifeissimpletohelpothersgrow
andsucceed.Iamateacherandahelper.Ienjoyhelpingotherssucceed.Imgoodat
it.Itsveryfulfilling.WhenImattheendofmylife,IexpectthatIlllookbackwith
greatjoyatthenumberofpeopleIhelpedsucceed.

IkeepthismentalpictureinmindasIgoaboutmydaytodaybusiness.Iaskmyselfa
simplequestionalmosteveryday.Bud,didthethingsyoudidtodaysupportyourlifes
purposeofhelpingotherslearn,growandsucceed?

IfIanswer,yes,Iconsideritasuccessfulday.IfIanswerno,IthinkaboutwhatIcan
dothenextdaytogetbacktolivingmypurpose.

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Successfulpeoplehaveaclearandvividmentalimageofwhatsuccessmeanstothem.
Theylivetheirlifespurposeeveryday.Ifyouhaventclarifiedyourpurposeinlife,this
isagoodtimetostart.Onceyougetclearonyourpurpose,liveiteverydayinallyour
actions.

Whatsyourdream?Haveyoucreatedavividmentalimageofit?

Isuggestthatyoutakesometimeforyourself.Askandanswerthesethreequestions:

WheredoIwanttobe10,20and30yearsfromnow?
WhatwillitlooklikeandfeellikewhenImthere?
Whatwillmylifebelike?

Askandanswertheseandanyotherquestionsthatwillhelpyoudevelopaclear,vivid
mentalimageofyoursuccess.Thisisnotdaydreaming.Itisrealwork.Youare
designingyourfutureinyourmind.

Thecommonsensepointofthistweetissimple.Successfulpeopledefinewhatsuccess
meanstothem.Thentheydevelopacompellingandclearmentalimageoftheir
success.Theyusethismentalimagetohelpkeeptheirdreamsaliveandtokeepmoving
forwardtowhattheywantintheirlivesandcareers.RememberTweet2inSuccess
Tweets,Themoreclearyouareaboutwhatsuccessmeanstoyoupersonally,the
easieritwillbetocreatethelifeandcareeryouwant.Getclearonwhatyourcareer
successlookslike,andthencreateit.Keepthismentalpicturewithyouasyougoabout
yourdaytodaybusiness.Everyonceinawhile,askyourselfifwhatyoudidthatday
broughtyouanyclosertoyourmentalimageofyouasacareersuccess.Inthisway,
youllbekeepingyourdreamaliveandmovingtowardyourcareersuccessgoals.

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Succe ssTweet 3

Thinkofyourpurposeasyourpersonalmission;whyyouareonthisearth.Your
directionisyourvisionforthenext3to5years.

Asacareersuccesscoach,Imheretohelpotherpeoplesucceedinrealizingtheir
purpose.Ithinkthisisaprettymightypurpose.Imayhelpsomeonewhosomedaymay
becomePresident,oraSupremeCourtJustice,orfindacureforcancer,orjustbea
lovingandcaringparent.Thispurposeanchorsme.ItkeepsmegoingwhenIget
frustrated,orwhenIfeellikequitting,orwhenIstarttofeelthatitsOKtobegood
enough,notgreat.

Theotherday,Iwashavingaconversationwithoneofmycareersuccesscoachclients.
Wewerediscussingclarityofpurposeanddirection.Shesaidthatshereadablogpost
onclarityofpurposeanddirectionthatIwroteandgotconfusedbyallofthedifferent
wordsthatcameupwhenshethoughtaboutclaritywordslikepurpose,direction,
missionandvision.

Thisgotmethinking.Ifshegetsconfusedaboutthesemanticsofclarityofpurposeand
direction,Ibetothersdotoo.Below,Ihavedefinedthesetermsforyouinamanner
thatwillhelpyoucreateyourpersonalclarityofpurposeanddirection.

AsIbegin,pleasenotethatthesearetheworkingdefinitionsthatIusewithmycareer
successclients.Youmayhaveseenotherdefinitionsfortheseterms.Iampresenting
thesedefinitionsheretohelpyoubetterunderstandhowIusetheminmymodelnot
asthecorrectdefinitionoftheseterms.

Forourpurposeshere,Idefinethewordmissionasfollows

Yourreasonforexisting.
Yourpassion.
Whyyouareonthisearth.

Thisisntalwayseasytodiscover.

17

Ifyoureyoungandstilltryingtofigureoutyourmission,dontworry.Ittakestime.
ThatswhyIalwaystellpeopletobeopentonewideasandthoughts,asyounever
knowwhatyoumightpickup.

IfyoudtoldmewhenIwasinhighschoolthatmymissionwouldbetohelpothers
succeed,Iwouldhavelaughed.Ittookseveralcoursesincollegeandayearofserviceas
aVISTAVolunteerformetofigureitout.ThatswhenIbeganmycareerinthehuman
developmentfield.

Yourmissionneedstocomefromdeepinsideyou.Itisunlikelytochangeoverthelong
run.Ivehadlotsofdifferentjobsinlotsofcompaniesandhavebeenselfemployedfor
over20years.Throughallthechanges,onethinghasremainedconstantmydesire
andpassionforhelpingotherssucceed.Inmyheartofhearts,IknowthatIamonthis
earthtohelpothersnavigatetheambiguitiesoflifeinordertoreachtheirgoals.

Hereismymission

Tohelpothersachievethecareerandlifesuccessthattheywantanddeserveby
applyingtheircommonsense.

IthasntchangedsinceIwas23yearsold.ThismissionreflectswhoIamandwhyIget
upeverymorning.Itswhatsrightforme.

Whatsrightforyou?Whatisyourpassion?Whatisyourreasonforliving?Whyare
youonthisearth?

Thinkofyourvisionas

Whereyouaregoing.
Whatyouwillachieveinthenext1,5,10,20years.

Unlikeyourmission,yourvisionwillchangeoverthecourseofyourlifeandcareer.
EarlyinmycareerIwasworkingforthegovernmenttrainingotherpeopletobeVISTA
Volunteers;mythreeyearvisionwastogetaMastersDegreeatnightandtoparlay
thatintoatraininganddevelopmentjobinbusiness.Noticethatthisvisionfitintomy

18
missionofhelpingotherssucceedintheirlivesandcareers,butithadaspecificshort
termtimeframe.

WhenIwasinmy30smyvisionshifted.Itbecametocreateasuccessfulcareer
successcoaching,consultingandspeakingbusiness.Yourvisionneedstobeconsistent
withyourmission.However,unlikeyourmission,yourvisionshouldchangeasyou
growanddevelopinyourcareer.

Finally,yourvisionshouldalwaysbeaBHAGabighairyaudaciousgoal.Ifirstsawthis
terminJimCollinsandJerryPorrasgreatbook,BuilttoLast.Youneedtocreatea
visionthatwillchallengeyouandmotivateyouitshouldbebigandhairyand
audacious.Whatsabighairyaudaciousgoalforyournextyear?Fiveyears?Ten
years?
Mycurrentvisioncomesinaoneyearandafiveyeartimeframe.

CreateaprofitableInternetbusinessthatwillallowmetosharemyoptimistic
messageoncareerandlifesuccessandhelpasmanypeopleasIcan.

Make100%ofmyincomefromtheInternetfiveyearsfromnow.

Noticehowmyoneyearvisionisconsistentwithmymissionofhelpingotherssucceed
intheirlivesandcareers.ItsalsoaBHAGformeatleast.WhileIhaveamassed
knowledgeaboutcareerandlifesuccessoveralifetimeofworkandstudy,turningthat
knowledgeintoinformationproductsthatIcansellovertheInternetissomething
completelynewforme.ImlearningaboutInternetmarketingasIgo.Withalittleluck
andalotofpersistence,Iamconfidentthatthiswillbeabreakoutyearformeasan
Internetmarketer.

Imalsoconfidentthatinfiveyears;Illbedoingalmostallofmybusinessonthe
Internet.IllbetravelingforbusinessonlywhenIchoosetodoso.Thiswillbearadical
departurefromthe45to50weeksofbusinesstravelthatIvedoneforsomanyyears.
Sowheredoesallthisleaveuswhenitcomestothinkingaboutclarityofpurposeand
direction?HereshowIsuggestyouthinkaboutit.

Yourpurposeisyourmissionyourreasonforliving,yourpassion,whatyouareonthis
earthtodo;somethingthatisunlikelytochangeoverthelongrun.

19
Yourdirectionisyourvisionshortandmediumtermgoalsthatdefinethedirection
youwilltakeyourlifeandcareer.

Thereisacommonsensecareersuccesspointtothistweet.Successfulpeopledefinea
clarityofpurposeanddirectionfortheirlivesandcareers.Yourclarityofpurposeand
directionshouldincludebothapersonalmission(yourpurpose)andapersonalvision
(yourdirection).Yourmissionisyourreasonforliving,whyyouareonthisearth.Itis
unlikelytochangeoverthelongrun.Yourvisionisashortormediumtermgoalthat
definesthedirectionyouwilltakeoverthenextthreetofiveyears.Itwillchangeasyou
growanddevelopinyourlifeandcareer.Yourvisionmustbeconsistentwithyour
mission.

20
Succe ssTweet 4

Themightieryourpurpose,themorelikelyyouaretosucceed.Itwillgiveyoua
strongfoundationwhenthewindsofchangeshift.

Yourclarityofpurposeanddirectionprovideyourfoundation.Fromthem,youcan
buildthesuccessfullifeandcareerthatyouwantanddeserve.Themoreclearandthe
moremightyyourpurposeanddirection,thestrongeryourfoundation.

Imasixtiesguy.Afteralltheseyears,myfavoriterecordingartistisstillBobDylan.My
favoriteDylansongandmaybemyfavoritesongeverisForeverYoung.He
rerecordedandrereleaseditrecently.Pepsihaspickeditupandisusingitinitsads
thatrunonNFLgames.Iusedoneofthelinesfromittointroducemybestsellingbook,
StraightTalkforSuccessMayyoubuildaladdertothestarsandclimbonevery
rung.
Checkoutsomeoftheotherlyrics

Mayyourhandsalwaysbebusy.

Mayyourfeetalwaysbeswift.

Mayyouhaveastrongfoundation

Whenthewindsofchangeshift.

Bynowyoumaybesaying,Gettothepoint,Bud.SoIwill.Youshouldbeginyour
successjourneybyclarifyingyourpurposeinlife.Whyareyouonthisearth?Whatare
youmeanttodo?Ibelievethatthemoremightythispurpose,themoreyouarelikely
tosucceed.Amightypurposegivesyouthatstrongfoundationwhenthewindsof
changeshift.

BradSwiftoftheLifeOnPurposeInstitute(www.lifeonpurpose.com)makesagreat
pointaboutclarityofpurpose

Takingaboldstandforlivingonpurposestartsbyknowingyourpurposewith
crystalclarityknowingitsowellthatifsomeonewokeyouupat3:00inthe
morningandaskedyouwhatyourlifepurposeis,you'dbeabletotellthem.

21
 Andifsomeonewhoknewyouwellheardwhatyousaid,they'drealizethatyour
lifewasatrue,authenticreflectionofthatpurpose.

TherearetwocommonsensepointsonwhichIwanttofocushere.First,yourclarityof
purposeshouldbesobig,somighty,soimportanttoyou,thatitisdeeplyingrainedin
yourpsyche.Ithastobepartofwhoyouare.Second,youhavetoliveyourclarityof
purpose24/7/365.Thistakescommitment;commitmenttodeterminingyourlifes
purpose,andcommitmenttolivingit.

Ifyouweretowakemeat3:00inthemorning,shinealightinmyfaceandaskmefor
mylifespurpose,ImsureIwouldsay,Helpingpeoplecreatesuccessfullivesand
careers.Itsthatmuchapartofme.Myelevatorspeechbegins,Hi,ImBudBilanich,
theCommonSenseGuy;Ihelppeoplecreatesuccessfullivesandcareersbyapplying
theircommonsense.

Forme,thisisamightypurpose.Imhelpingotherpeoplefindcareersuccessand
fulfillmentintheirlives.Thatsimportantworkinmybook.Itakeimmensesatisfaction
outofseeingotherslearn,growandsucceed.InanotherlifeImighthavebeena
teacherorathleticcoach.Inthislife,Ihelppeoplecreatethelifeandcareersuccess
thattheywantanddeserve.

Thereisanoldsayingthatgoessomethinglike,Theproblemisnotinsettingyourgoal
toohighandnotreachingit.Theproblemissettingyourgoaltoolowandachievingit.
Icantremembertheexactquoteortheattribution.IllsendacopyofSuccessTweets
tothefirstpersonwholeavesacommenttellingustheexactquoteandtheattribution.
Pleaserespondbyleavingacomment,notbysendingmeanemail.Iwanttheanswer
tobevisibletoeveryonewhoreadsthisblog.

Whatisyourpurpose?Isitmighty?Ihopeso.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointofthistweetissimple.Successfulpeople
thinkbig.Theygroundthemselvesinamightypurpose.Tweet4inSuccessTweetssays,
Themightieryourpurpose,themorelikelyyouaretosucceed.Itwillgiveyouastrong
foundationwhenthewindsofchangeshift.Takethisadvicetoheart.Groundyourself
withamightypurpose.Itsbettertoaimtoohighandfallalittleshortthanitistoaim
toolowandreachyourgoal.Or,asMarioAndrettioncesaid,Ifyoureincomplete
control,youreprobablynotgoingfastenough.Thinkaboutit.

22
Succe ssTweet 5

YourvisionshouldbeaBHAG;aBigHairyAudaciousGoal.Makeitsomethingthatis
reallyworthaccomplishing.

Letsbackupforasecondandtalkaboutthedifferencebetweenyourpersonalmission
andpersonalvision.Yourmissionisyourreasonforexisting,yourpassion,whyyouare
onthisearth.AsIvesaid,mymissionistohelpothersachievethelifeandcareer
successtheywantanddeserve.Yourmissionisyourpurposeinlife.Onceyousettleon
apersonalmission,youshouldthinkverylongandhardbeforeyouchangeit.
Yourpersonalvisionisthedirectioninwhichyouaregoingintheshorttomediumterm
usuallythenextthreetofiveyears.Unlikeyourmission,yourvisionshouldchange
withthetimes.Itshouldbeconsistentwithyourmission,butshouldreflectthenew
goalsyousetforyourselfasyoumoveforwardinyourlifeandachievesomemeasureof
careersuccess.
Asthetweetsays,yourvisionshouldalwaysbeaBHAGabighairyaudaciousgoal.
Youneedtocreateavisionthatwillchallengeyouandmotivateyouitshouldbebig
andhairyandaudacious.Whatsyourbighairyaudaciousgoalforthenextyear?Three
years?Fiveyears?Tenyears?
IlikethewordaudaciousintheBHAGidea.AccordingtoDictionary.com,audaciousis
definedas:extremelyboldanddaring,brave,fearless,original,withoutrestrictionto
priorideas,highlyinventive,unrestrained,uninhibited,boldindefianceofconvention.
Dothesewordsinspireyouorfrightenyou?Ihopetheyinspireyoutobeboldand
daring,fearlessandoriginalwhenitcomestocreatingyourpersonalvision.Dontbe
constrainedbyconvention,orrestrictedbypriorideas.Behighlyinventive.

Ivesharedmycurrentvisioninapreviouspost.Itcomesinaoneyearandafiveyear
timeframe.

Createaprofitableinternetbusinessthatwillallowmetosharemyoptimistic
messageoncareerandlifesuccessandhelpasmanypeopleasIcan.
Make100%ofmyincomefromtheInternetfiveyearsfromnow.

ThisVisionisaBHAGforme;itsaudacious.Imonasteeplearningcurvewhenit
comestoInternetmarketing.Accomplishingmypersonalvisionisgoingtotakemore
thanalittleluckandalotofpersistence.ButthatsOKIrealizemyvisionisaBHAG,

23
andImwillingtotaketheriskofstatingitinpublicandcommittingtodoingtheworkto
makeitareality.ImchoosingtobeboldanddaringasIenterthenextphaseofmylife.

Sowhatdoesthismeanforyou?Itmeansthatyoutooshouldbeboldanddaringas
youcreateyourpersonalvision.Dontbeconstrainedbyconvention;seeyourselfasan
audacioussuccessthreetofiveyearsinthefuture.Thatshowyoubecomeacareer
success.

Yourmindsetmakesallthedifference.Youneedtobewillingtocommittodoingthings
differently.Asthesayinggoes,youneedtobewillingtogiveupwhatyouareforwhat
youcanbecome.ThefirststepincreatingapersonalvisionthatisaBHAGisto
determineyourgoalforthetimeframeyouchoose.Asyousee,Ivecreatedaoneyear
andfiveyeargoal.Yourgoalshouldbeveryfocused.Itshouldbedifficulttoachieve
oritsnotaBHAG.Yourpersonalvisionshouldstretchyoupastyourcomfortzone.It
shouldbelifechanging.Itshouldbuildonthemomentumyouhavegoing.Itshould
exciteandstimulateyou.Itshouldbesomethingthatisreallyworthaccomplishing.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleclarify
theirpurposeanddirectioninlife.Yourpurposeisyourpersonalmission.Your
directionisyourpersonalvisionwhatyouwillaccomplishinthenextthreetofive
years.AsTweet5inSuccessTweetssays,YourvisionshouldbeaBHAG;aBigHairy
AudaciousGoal.Makeitsomethingthatisreallyworthaccomplishing.Yourpersonal
visionshouldbeboldanddaring,original,notrestrictedbyyourpastwayofthinking,
highlyinventive,unrestrainedanduninhibited.Inshortthinkbig,thinkoutsidethe
box,thinkaboutwhatyoucanbecome,notwhatyouaretoday.

24
Succe ssTweet 6

Makesurethatyourpersonalmissionandvisionarewhatyouwantnotwhat
someoneelsewantsforyou.

Thisisreallyimportant.Youneedtoliveyourownlifeandcreateyourowncareer
success.Overtheyears,Ihavehadwaytoomanycareersuccesscoachclientswhofelt
asiftheyweretrappedincareersthattheydidntreallychoose.Thatsnotagoodway
tobuildcareersuccess.Youhavetolovewhatyoudo.Youhavetobepassionateabout
whatyoudo.Thisloveandpassionhastocomefromdeepinsideyou.

Thismeansthatyouneedtochoosethecareeryoulovenotwhatotherswantyouto
love.Parents,friendsandpeersmeanwellwhentheytrytosteeryouintoacareerthey
thinkisrightforyou.But,parents,friendsandpeersarenotyou.Youknowwhatsbest
foryou.

Manypeopleapplytomedicalorlawschoolbecausetheirparentswantthemto
becomeadoctororalawyer.However,afterayearortwoofschool,orworseyet,a
yearortwoofpracticeasadoctororalawyer,someofthesepeoplefigureoutthat
theyarentlivingtheirlifepurpose,theyrelivingthelifetheirparentswantforthem.
And,theyhaveamountainofstudentloandebt.Thesefolksbecomeangryandbitter.
Theyspendalifetimegoingthroughthemotions,neverreallydevelopingthatsenseof
happinessandcareersuccessthatcomesfromdoingwhattheyloveandwhatthey
choosetodo.

Weallhavetofindourpassioninlifeandpursueit.IhadadoublemajoratPennState,
broadcastjournalismandhumandevelopment.MysenioryearIhadaninternshipata
televisionstationinScrantonPA.Ididwellintheinternship.Asluckwouldhaveit,one
ofthereportersannouncedhisplanstoleavethestationrightaboutthetimeIwasto
graduate.TheNewsDirectorlikedmeandofferedmeareporterjob.Iwasflattered
andreallytemptedtotakeit.Thiswasarareopportunity.Inthosedays,mostpeople
comingoutofcollegehadtospendafewyearsinradionewspriortomovingtoTV.Yet,
IwasluckyenoughtoreceiveanofferataTVstationrightoutofschool.

25
However,therewasonesmallproblem.Ihadalreadycommittedtodoingayearof
serviceasaVISTAVolunteer.Icouldhavebackedoutofthatcommitment,butmy
personalethicswouldntletmedoso.IturneddowntheTVnewsjob.TheNews
DirectorandmyJournalismadvisoratPennStatedidtheirbesttoconvincemethatthis
wasaspecialopportunityandthattherewouldbenoguaranteethatIwouldbeableto
secureasimilarofferoneyearlater.Theyhadmybestinterestsinmind.Theywanted
metogetofftoarunningstartintheworldofTVnews.

Ichosetosticktomycommitmentofayearofservice.AndImgladIdid.Thatyearof
serviceopenedmyeyestocareerpossibilitiesIdidntknowexisted.Aftermyyearof
service,Itookajobthathelpedmeidentifymypurposeinlifehelpingothersgrowand
succeed.ToparaphraseTweet5,Imadesurethatmypersonalmissionandvisionwere
whatIwantednotwhatmyprofessor,boss,andparentsforthatmatterwantedfor
me.

Thesepeoplewereallwellmeaning.Myprofessorsawsomepromiseinme.Heliked
mywritingstyle.HethoughtIwouldbeagreatTVnewswriter.Besidesthat,hesawhis
studentsworkinthebroadcastjournalismfieldaspartofhislegacy.TheNewsDirector
sawanopportunitytofillavacancywithaprovencommodity.Myparentsthoughta
realjob,asopposedtoayearofservice,wasbetterforme.

However,Ihadtodecide.And,Imadethecorrectdecision.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplelook
deepinsidethemselvestodiscovertheirpurposeanddirectioninlife.Theylistento,
evensolicit,advicefrompeopletheyrespectandtrust.Butwhenitcomestocreating
theirpersonalmissionandvision,theyfollowtheadviceinTweet6inSuccessTweets:
Makesurethatyourpersonalmissionandvisionarewhatyouwantnotwhat
someoneelsewantsforyou.Itsyourlifeandyourcareer.Youhavetoliveit.Thats
whyyouhavetochooseyourpersonalmissionandvisionbasedonwhatsrightforyou
notwhatotherpeoplethinkisrightforyou.Otherpeople,particularlythosecloseto
you,haveyourbestinterestsatheart.Thatswhyyoushouldlistentowhattheyhave
tosay;butyouneedtomakethefinaldecisiononyourpersonalmissionbyyourself.
Thatsthefirststepintakingpersonalresponsibilityforyourlifeandcareersuccess.

26
Succe ssTweet 7

Figureoutwhatyoureallywanttodo.Workyoulovewillmakeiteasiertocreatethe
lifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.

Inthispost,Idliketotellyouastoryaboutayoungwomanwhohasfiguredoutwhat
shewantstodoandisreallygoingafterit.

MorganOReillyismyniece.Iloveherdearly.EversinceIcanremember,Morganhas
beeninterestedinhousesanddecorating.IrememberhervisitingCathyandmewhen
shewasabout12.ShewantedtoexploreDenversneighborhoods;shewasvery
interestedinthedifferenttypesofhousesandhowpricesvariedfromneighborhoodto
neighborhood.Iremembertellingherthatsheshouldgetintorealestate.

MorgangraduatedfromhighschoolandenrolledatFloridaStatewhereshestudied
fashionmerchandising.Aftergraduationshegotajobasanassistantbuyerwithalarge
andprofitableretailingchain.Shegotacoupleofpromotionsandwasdoingquitewell.
Shewasmovinguptheladderthere.

Butshewasnthappy.Notonlydidshenotloveherwork,shecametodislikeit.

Shedecidedthatsheneededtochangecareers.Shethoughtaboutwhatshereally
loves,anditturnedouttobehousesanddecorating.Sheconcludedthatrealestate
wasagoodfitforher.Unfortunately,realestateisatough100%commissionbusiness.
ThatsthereasonwhyMorgandidntgetintoitrightoutofcollege.

Butthistime,shedecidedthatrealestatewastherightcareerforher.Shediscussedit
withherhusbandAaron,andtogethertheydecidedthattheycouldforgohersalaryfor
severalmonths.SheinterviewedandgotajobwithKellerWilliams,alargenationalreal
estatefirm.Shetookacertificationexamprepcourseandnailedthepracticeexam.In
fact,shegotahundredexcusethisunclesbragging.ShepassedtheFloridastate
licensingexamtheydontgivescorestopeoplewhopass,soshedoesntknowhow
wellshedid.Imsureshepassedbyawidemargin.

WhenMorganresignedherjobwiththeretailer,theyofferedherapromotion.She
didnteventhinktwiceaboutturningitdown.Sheisstartinghercareerinrealestate.
Sheisntlookingback.

27
AsacareersuccesscoachandheruncleIsay,Goodforyou,Morgan.Youvefound
acareeryoulove,andyoureputtingallofyourheartandsoulintoit.Improudof
you.

MorganisworkingintheJacksonvilleBeach,FLarea.Ifyou,oranyoneyouknowis
interestedinbuyingpropertythere,getintouchwithheratmoreilly@comcast.net.Tell
herIsentyou.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointissimple.RememberTweet7inSuccess
Tweetswhenyouarethinkingaboutyourlifespurposeandwork.Figureoutwhatyou
reallywanttodo.Workyoulovewillmakeiteasiertocreatethelifeandcareersuccess
youwantanddeserve.Workyoulovedoesntseemlikework.Itisenjoyableandfun.
MorganOReilly,myniece,recentlymadeacareerchange.Shewentfrombeinga
buyerwithalargenationalretailertoacareerinrealestate.Shedidntlikeretailing.
Shelovesrealestateespeciallymatchingbuyersandhouses.Sinceshemadethis
movewithinthemonth,itstooearlytotellhowwellshelldo.However,fromher
enthusiasm,andperfectscoreonthelicensingexampracticetest,Imsureshesgoing
tokicksomeseriousbutt.

28
Succe ssTweet 8

Dontfocusjustonmakingmoney.Ifyoudo,youllbeaskingtoolittleofyourself.
Focusonhowyoucanbeusefulinthisworld.

Ilovedthe1972movie,Cabaret(Icantbelieveitwasthatlongago).Ifyouhavent
seenCabaret,renttheDVD.Itsafunnyandsadmovieatthesametime.Ibringup
CabaretherebecauseoneofthedanceroutinesinitpoppedintomymindwhenItyped
Tweet8justnow.ItfeaturesJoelGreyandLizaMinnelliandiscalledMoneyMakes
theWorldGoRound.

Yes,moneydoesmaketheworldgoround.Weallneedmoney.Itisdifficulttolive
withlittleornomoney.ButIsuggestthatchoosingacareersolelyonthebasisofthe
moneyyoucanmakeisnotagoodidea.

JohnD.Rockefeller,oncetherichestmanintheUSA,said,Ifyouronlygoalisto
becomerich,youllneverachieveit.

Thisisgreatcommonsensecareersuccessadvice.Yourgoalsinlifeshouldbemore
thanjustmakingmoney.Yourgoalsshouldspringfromyourpurposeinlife,your
passion.Thisisnttosaythatyoushouldchooseacareerinwhichyoucanmakelittleor
nomoney.Chooseyourlifesworkbasedonwhatyoulovetodo,andyoullfindaway
tomakemoney.Theoldsaying,Dowhatyoulove,andthemoneywillfollow,istrue.

MichelleSchubnelisacoachtocoaches.SherunsaprogramcalledCoachandGrow
R.I.C.H.HerR.I.C.H.acronymapplieshere:

R Rewarded

I Inspired

C Confident

H Happy

Ithinkthisisagreatwaytothinkaboutmakingmoneyandbeingusefulinthisworld.
Youarerichwhenyouare:rewardedforyourcontributions;inspiredbywhatyoudo;

29
confidentasaprofessional;andhappywiththewayyouspendyourtime.Letstalk
abouteachofthese.

RewardedWealldeservetobeappropriatelycompensatedfortheworkwedoand
thevaluewebringtoothers.Thismeansthatyoushouldntfeelbadaboutmaking
money,onlythatmakingmoneyshouldntbeyoursolegoalinlife.Somemightsaythat
thecurrentfinancialcrisisistheresultofsomepeoplewhovaluedmakingmoneyatthe
expenseofothers.Doyourjob,getgoodatitandthemoneywillfollow.

InspiredYoucanfindinspirationintheworkyoudoeveryday.Ifyourearealtorlike
myniece,Morgan,youcanbeinspiredwhenyouhelpapersonoracouplefindthe
homeoftheirdreams.Ifyoureapharmaceuticalsalesrep,youcanbeinspiredbythe
factthatyourehelpingdoctorsunderstandhowthemedicinesyourcompanymakes
cansavelives.Mydadwasasteelworkerfor37years.Hefoundinspirationinthe
buildingsandbridgeshehelpedbuild.Ifindinspirationeverytimesomeoneleavesa
commentonthisblogortellsmethatoneofmytweetsmadeadifferenceintheirlife.

ConfidentDoingsomethingyoulove,doingitwellandbeingusefulinthisworldwill
buildyourconfidence.Yourconfidencegrowsasyourskilllevelgrowsandyoubeginto
makebiggercontributionsatworkandintheworld.Aworldofconfidentpeoplewould
beawonderfulplacetolive.Confidentpeopleseetheworldfromawinwin
perspective.

HappyWhenareyouhappiest?Imwillingtobetitswhenyouaccomplishsomething
orhelpsomeoneelseaccomplishsomethingnotwhenyougetyourpaycheck.
Whenyoudosomethingyouloveeverydayyoucanthelpbutbehappy.Iamhappiest
whenIfinishabook.Writingabooktakesalotoftimeandeffort.And,Ima
perfectionist.IwanttomakesuremybooksarethebestIcanmakethem,soIputina
lotoftimeandeffortmakingsuretheyrejustright.And,youknowwhat?Imreally
happywhenIfirstholdacopyofoneofmybooksinmyhand.Atthatmoment,Iknow
theworkwasworthit.ImhappywhenIhelpotherssucceedtoo.Ilovethemoments
whenIcanseethelightgooninoneofmycareersuccesscoachclientseyes.Iloveit
whenIhelpotherpeoplegetit.

IsawayoungwomanwearingaTshirttheotherdaythatmadeaprofoundpoint.On
thefrontitsaid,Wealthisnottheoppositeofpoverty.Onthebackitsaid,Enoughis
theoppositeofpoverty.ThismessagegoestotheheartofthemessageinTweet8.
Successfulpeopleknowwhatenoughisforthemandtheirfamily.Theyarehappy
withenough.Theypursuealifeandcareerthatfulfillsthem.Theyknowthatbeingrich
ismorethanhavingalotofmoney.

30
Ifyoureadthisblogwithanyregularity,youknowthatmymompassedawayalittle
overayearago.Shewasoneforschmaltzycards.Imnot.Butseveralyearsago,she
sentmeacardonmybirthday.Icutoutthemessageandtapedittomyprinter.Ilook
atitseveraltimesaday

Thatmanisasuccesswhoishappywithhimselfandgiveshappinesstoothers;who
makestheworldabetterplacesimplybybeingapartofit.

Mymotherbelievedthisaboutme.Idomybesttoliveuptoiteveryday.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplesee
moneyasthebyproductoftheirworknotastheirsolereasonforworking.They
followtheadviceinTweet8inSuccessTweets.Dontfocusjustonmakingmoney.If
youdo,youllbeaskingtoolittleofyourself.Focusonhowyoucanbeusefulinthis
world.Successfulpeopleknowthatbeingrichdoesntmeanyouhavetonsandtonsof
money.Theyknowthatbeingrichmeansthatyouare:Rewardedforyour
contributions;Inspiredbywhatyoudo;Confidentinyourskills,andHappywiththeway
youspendyourdays.

31
Succe ssTweet 9

Happinessdoesntcomefromgettingmorethings.Itcomesfromfindingaworthy
purposeandpursuingit.

Idliketobeginwiththreequotes.ThefirstisfromT.E.Lawrenceyouknow,the
LawrenceofArabiaguy.

Allmendream,butnotequally.Thosewhodreambynightinthedustyrecessesof
theirmindswakeinthedaytofindthatitwasvanity.Butthedreamersofthedayare
dangerousmen,fortheymayactontheirdreamswithopeneyes,tomakeitpossible.

Thesecondisfrommyfavoriteplaywright,GeorgeBernardShaw.

Thisisthetruejoyinlife,beingusedforapurposerecognizedbyyourselfasamighty
one;beingthoroughlywornoutbeforeyouarethrownonthescrapheap;beingaforce
ofnatureinsteadofafeverish,selfishlittleclodofailmentsandgrievancescomplaining
thattheworldwillnotdevoteitselftomakingyouhappy.

ThethirdisfromOscarWilde.

Toliveistherarestthingintheworld.Mostpeopleexist,thatisall.

Idreambyday,andIhopeyoudotoo.IwanttobethoroughlywornoutbeforeIm
thrownonthescrapheap.Irefusetobeaselfishlittleclodofailmentscomplaining
abouttheworld.AndIchoosetolivecompletelyandfully.Mypurposeinlifehelps
medothis.

Asyouknow,Imacareersuccesscoach.Mypurposeistohelpotherpeoplecreatethe
lifeandcareersuccesstheywantanddeserve.ThatswhyIamacareersuccesscoach.
Tomethisisaworthypurpose.Moreimportant,itsapurposethatmakesmehappy.

AsImwritingthis,IkeepseeingatweetbythemythicalFrankTygerthathasbeenre
tweetedatleast10timesinthepasthour.Doingwhatyoulikeisfreedom.Liking
whatyoudoishappiness.

AllofthisgoesbacktoTweet9inSuccessTweets.Thingsdontmakeyouhappy.
Happinesscomesfromdoingsomethingofvalue.SuccessTweet4says,Themightier

32
yourpurpose,themorelikelyyouaretosucceed.Itwillgiveyouastrongfoundation
whenthewindsofchangeshift.

Ifyouwanttocreateamightylifepurpose,itsagoodideatowritealifepurpose
statement.However,manypeopletellmethattheyhavetriedtowritealifepurpose
statementwithlittlesuccess.

StevePavlinaoffersacommonsense,fourstepapproachtofindingyourlifepurpose.I
reallylikethesefoursimplesteps:

1. Takeoutablanksheetofpaperoropenupawordprocessorwhereyoucantype
(Ipreferthelatterbecauseitsfaster).

2. Headit,Whatismytruepurposeinlife?

3. Writeananswer(anyanswer)thatpopsintoyourhead.Itdoesnthavetobea
completesentence.Ashortphraseisfine.

4. Repeatstep3untilyouwritetheanswerthatmakesyoucry.Thisisyour
purpose.

Thatsit.Itdoesntmatterifyoureacounselororanengineerorabodybuilder.To
somepeoplethisexercisewillmakeperfectsense.Toothersitwillseemutterlystupid.
Usuallyittakes1520minutestoclearyourheadofalltheclutterandthesocial
conditioningaboutwhatyouthinkyourpurposeinlifeis.Thefalseanswerswillcome
fromyourmindandyourmemories.Butwhenthetrueanswerfinallyarrives,itwillfeel
likeitscomingtoyoufromadifferentsourceentirely.

IloveStevessimplecommonsenseapproachtofindingyourlifepurpose.Asacareer
successcoach,Isuggestyoutryitifyoudonthaveaclearstatementofyourlifes
purpose.

However,onceyoufindyourlifepurpose,youhavetoliveiteveryday.Thisblogisone
waythatIlivemypurposeeveryday.Ipostfivedaysaweek.Thatmeansthatfivedays
aweekIwrite800to1,200wordsoncareerandlifesuccessandpostithere.Mydaily
successquotesareanotherwayIlivemypurposeeveryday.Ifyouwanttoreceive
thesedailyquotes,gotowww.BudBilanich.com.Enteryournameandemailaddressin
theboxatthetoprightofthepage.

33
MybooksareanotherwayIlivemylifepurposeeveryday.Iwritebookstohelpme
clarifymythinkingonlifeandcareersuccessandtohelpothersapplymycareer
successcoachthoughtstocreatetheirlifeandcareersuccess.

Whatisyourpurposeinlife?Ihopeitsnotgettingmorethings.Ihopeithas
somethingthatisbiggerthanyou;somethingthatbenefitsothersandallofusin
general.Ihopeitsmighty.

Onceyouhavedeterminedyourlifepurpose,askyourselfwhatyoudotoliveitevery
day.Thenstartdoingthateveryday.Doingsomethingeverydaythatreinforcesyour
lifepurposeisthebestwaytocreatingahappylifeandcareersuccess.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleidentify
theirpurposeinlifeandthenpursueitwithpassion.TheyfollowtheadviceinTweet9
inSuccessTweets.Happinessdoesntcomefromgettingmorethings.Itcomesfrom
findingaworthypurposeandpursuingit.FollowStevePavlinasadvicetodevelop
yourlifepurpose.Askyourself,Whatismytruepurposeinlife?Keeplistinganswers
untilyoufindonethatmakesyoucry.Onceyougettothispoint,dryyourtearsand
begindoingsomethingeverydaytolivethatpurpose.Theoldsaying,Whoeverdies
withthemosttoyswins,isjustflatnottrue.AsGeorgeBernardShawsays,success
comestothosewhoareusedforapurposerecognizedbyyourselfasamightyone;
beingthoroughlywornoutbeforeyouarethrownonthescrapheap;beingaforceof
nature.Ichoosetobeaforceofnature,notacollectorofthingsandtoys.Ihopeyou
dotoo.

34
Succe ssTweet 10

Emersonsays,Goodluckisanothernamefortenacityofpurpose.Findyour
purposeandpursueittenaciously.

Today,Iwanttofocusontenacity.Tenaciouspeoplecommittothreethings.First,they
takepersonalresponsibilityfortheirsuccess.Theyknowthattheyareresponsiblefor
theirownlifeandcareersuccess.Theyarewillingtodothethingsnecessaryto
succeed.Second,tenaciouspeoplesethighgoalsandthendowhateverittakesto
achievethem.Third,tenaciouspeopleknowthatstuffhappensastheygothroughlife.
Theyrealizetheywillencountermanyproblemsandsetbacks.Tenaciouspeoplechoose
toreactpositivelytothenegativestuffthathappensandmoveforwardtowardtheir
goals.

IliveinDenver;theweatherhereisverychangeable.OnDecember212009,thefirst
dayofwinter,wehad60degreeweather.ThatnighttheweatherannounceronTV
remindedusthatwehadsnowonthelastdayofsummer.

Thisgotmethinkingabouttheunpredictabilityoflife.AsIfrequentlysaytomycareer
successcoachclients,stuffwillhappenasyougothroughlifegoodstuff,badstuff,
happystuff,sadstuff,encouragingstuff,frustratingstuff.However,itsnotthestuff
thathappensthatsimportant,itshowyoureacttoit.Youcannotcontrolthepeople
andeventsinyourlife.Youcancontrolhowyoureacttothepeopleandeventsinyour
life.

Ichoosetoreactpositivelytothepeopleandeventsinmylifeespeciallythebadstuff,
sadstuffandfrustratingstuffthathappenstome.Ichoosetotenaciouslyfollowmy
purposeanddreams.AndIurgeyoutodothesameifyouwanttocreatethelifeand
careersuccessyouwantanddeserve.

Iknowthisisntalwayseasy.Infact,itsseldomeasy.Buttheharderyoufindittoreact
positivelytonegativepeopleandevents,themoreimportantitisforyoutodoso.
Dontblamepeopleorcircumstanceswhenthingsgowrong.Instead,choosetobe
tenaciousandlearnthelessonbehindeverylessthansuccessfulrelationshiporeventin
yourlife.

35
Whenyoulookforthelessonbehindproblems,setbacksandfailuresyouarebeing
tenacious;youaretakingresponsibilityforyourlifeandcareersuccess.Findthelessons
inthebadstuffthathappensandthendosomethingtoputthoselessonstowork.
Committotakingresponsibilityforyourself,yourlifeandyourcareersuccess.Put
yourselfinthedriversseat.Dontleteventsandpeoplestopyoufromachievingyour
goals.Bepersistent.Betenacious.

AsIwritethis,ImremindedofthefamousquoteonpersistencebyCalvinCoolidge

Nothingintheworldcantaketheplaceofpersistence.Talentwillnot;nothing
ismorecommonthanunsuccessfulmenwithtalent.Geniuswillnot;
unrewardedgeniusisalmostaproverb.Educationwillnot;theworldisfullof
educatedfailures.Persistenceanddeterminationaloneareomnipotent.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeople
committotakingpersonalresponsibilityfortheirlifeandcareersuccess.Theyheedthe
adviceinTweet10inSuccessTweets:Emersonsays,Goodluckisanothernamefor
tenacityofpurpose.Findyourpurposeandpursueittenaciously.Onlyyoucanmake
youasuccess.Youhavetotakepersonalresponsibilityforcreatingthelifeandcareer
successyouwantanddeserve.Tenacityandpersistencearethehallmarksofpeople
whoarecommittedtotakingpersonalresponsibilityfortheirlifeandcareersuccess.
Tenaciousandpersistentpeoplekeepgoing,eveninno,especiallyinthefaceof
difficultiesandproblems.Promiseyourselfthatyouwillcommittotakingpersonal
responsibilityforyourlifeandcareersuccess.Bepersistent.Betenacious.Keepatit,
andyouwillreachyourgoals.

36
Succe ssTweet 11

Createavividmentalimageofyourselfasasuccess.Thisvividimagewillkeepyou
motivatedandmovingforwardwhenthingsgettough.

Dr.MartinLutherKingisoneofmypersonalheroes.Hehelpedleadournationoutof
thedehumanizingsegregationpoliciesthatflourishedinthepostcivilwarperiod.I
believethathe,morethananyothersingleperson,wasresponsibleforthepassageof
theCivilRightsActof1964.TodayablackmanispresidentoftheUnitedStates.This
wouldhavebeenunthinkableonAugust28,1963,thedayDr.Kingdeliveredhisfamous
speech,IHaveaDream.

IbringupDr.KingandtheIHaveaDreamspeechbecauseitistheembodimentofa
vividmentalimageofsuccess.Readthewordsbelowandseehowtheysoclearly
describeDr.Kingsvividmentalimageofsuccess,forhimselfandthenation.

Andsoeventhoughwefacethedifficultiesoftodayandtomorrow,Istillhavea
dream.ItisadreamdeeplyrootedintheAmericandream.

Ihaveadreamthatonedaythisnationwillriseupandliveoutthetrue
meaningofitscreed:Weholdthesetruthstobeselfevident,thatallmenare
createdequal.

IhaveadreamthatonedayontheredhillsofGeorgia,thesonsofformer
slavesandthesonsofformerslaveownerswillbeabletositdowntogetherat
thetableofbrotherhood.

IhaveadreamthatonedayeventhestateofMississippi,astatesweltering
withtheheatofinjustice,swelteringwiththeheatofoppression,willbe
transformedintoanoasisoffreedomandjustice.

Ihaveadreamthatmyfourlittlechildrenwillonedayliveinanationwhere
theywillnotbejudgedbythecoloroftheirskinbutbythecontentoftheir
character.

Ihaveadreamtoday!

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 Ihaveadreamthatoneday,downinAlabama,withitsviciousracists,withits
governorhavinghislipsdrippingwiththewordsofinterpositionand
nullificationonedayrightthereinAlabama,littleblackboysandblackgirls
willbeabletojoinhandswithlittlewhiteboysandwhitegirlsassistersand
brothers.

Ihaveadreamtoday!

Ihaveadreamthatonedayeveryvalleyshallbeexalted,andeveryhilland
mountainshallbemadelow,theroughplaceswillbemadeplain,andthe
crookedplaceswillbemadestraight;andthegloryoftheLordshallberevealed
andallfleshshallseeittogether.

Thosearepowerfulwordsandapowerfulvividmentalimage.TheykeptDr.King
movingforwardthroughthedarkdaysinSelmaallthewaytothepassageoftheCivil
RightsActof1964.

Iurgeallofmycareersuccesscoachclientstodevelopavividmentalimageof
themselvesasacareersuccess.Whatisyourvividmentalimageofyourcareersuccess?
CanyouarticulateitasclearlyandvividlyasDr.King?

ThecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointinthisdiscussionofDr.KingsIHavea
Dreamspeechissimple.Successfulpeopleclarifytheirpurposeanddirectionfortheir
lifeandcareer.Fewpeoplehavedemonstratedsuchaclearsenseofpurposeand
directionfortheirlivesasDr.MartinLutherKing.HisfamousIHaveaDreamspeech
isoneofthebestexamplesofaclear,vividmentalimageofnotonlypersonalsuccess,
butsuccessforusasasociety.Ihaveadreamthatlittleblackboysandblackgirlswill
beabletojoinhandswithlittlewhiteboysandwhitegirlsassistersandbrothers.The
dreamisalivealthoughwestillneedtokeepworkingonit.Youneedtoworkon
creatingavividmentalimageofyourselfasacareersuccess.Themorevividtheimage
thebetter.AsTweet11inSuccessTweetssays,yourvividmentalimageofyourselfasa
successwillkeepyoumotivatedandmovingforwardwhenthingsgettough.

38
Succe ssTweet 12

Visualizationispowerful.Themorevividtheimageyouhaveofyoursuccess,the
morelikelyyouaretosucceed.

Asacareersuccesscoach,Isuggestthatonceyoudefinewhatcareersuccessmeansto
youpersonally,youneedtodevelopaclearmentalpictureofyourcareersuccess.This
imageshouldbeasvividasyoucanyoumakeit.Trytocreateyourcareersuccessvivid
imagein3D.

AsImentionedinmydiscussionofSuccessTweet2,whenIwas25,Iconjuredupavivid
imageofmyselfasasuccesscoach,motivationalspeaker,managementconsultantand
author.IworkedinmyhomeofficewhereIwroteanddevelopedtheprogramsI
deliveredatclientlocations.ThisofficehadafloortoceilingwallofbooksthatIcould
useforeasyreference.ItalsohadastateoftheartIBMSelectrictypewriterandabig,
clunkytelephone.PCsandtheInternetweresciencefictionin1975.

Ialsosawmyselfhavingonetoonediscussionswithseniorleadersinavarietyof
organizations,conductingtrainingandteambuildingsessionsinconferenceroomsat
theirlocations.Amazingly,manyofthepeopleinthesessionsweresmoking.Ihadvery
vividimagesofstandinginfrontoflargeaudiencesatsalesmeetingsdoingtalks.Isaw
myselfsigningabookIhadwrittenatabookstore.Ialsosawmyselfonairplanes,
travelingtomyspeaking,coachingandconsultinggigs.

Allofthesevividimagescametrue.MyofficeismuchasIhadimagineditexceptit
hastwoPCsandacellphone,notaSelectrictypewriterandclunkyphone.Thewallof
booksisthereoverflowing.Ivewritten11ofthebooksontheshelf.Peopledont
smokeinmytrainingandteambuildingsessionsanymoreandIusePowerPointinstead
ofhandwrittenflipcharts,butthebigstuffisthesameasIveimaginedit.Ivespoken
toaudiencesalloverNorthAmerica,inLatinAmerica,EuropeandAsia.Iamamillion
mileflyerwithContinentalAirLines.

ImlivingmycareersuccessdreaminlargepartbecauseIdaredtodreamitallthose
yearsago.

Whatsyourcareersuccessdream?Haveyoucreatedavividmentalimageofit?

39
Isuggestthatyoutakesometimeforyourself.Askandanswerthesethreequestions:

WheredoIwanttobe10,20and30yearsfromnow?
WhatwillitlooklikeandfeellikewhenImthere?
Whatwillmylifebelike?

Askandanswertheseandanyotherquestionsthatwillhelpyoudevelopaclear,vivid
mentalimageofyourcareersuccess.Thisisnotdaydreaming.Itisrealwork.Youare
designingyourfutureinyourmind.

Keepthismentalpictureofyourcareersuccesswithyouasyougoaboutyourdayto
daybusiness.Everyonceinawhile,askyourselfifwhatyoudidthatdaybroughtyou
anyclosertoyourmentalimageofcareersuccess.Iftheanswerisno,makesurethat
youtakeatleastoneacttheverynextdaytomoveclosertoyourvividmentalimageof
yourcareersuccess.Inthisway,youllbekeepingyourdreamaliveandmoving
towardyourgoal.

Thecommonsensecareercoachsuccesspointhereissimple.Successfulpeopledefine
whatsuccessmeanstothem.Thentheydevelopacompellingandclearmentalimage
oftheirsuccess.TheyheedtheadviceinTweet12inSuccessTweets:Visualizationis
powerful.Themorevividtheimageyouhaveofyoursuccess,themorelikelyyouareto
succeed.Theyusetheirvividmentalimagetohelpkeeptheirdreamsaliveandtokeep
movingforwardtowhattheywantintheirlivesandcareers.Creatingavividmental
imageofyoursuccessisnotdaydreaming.Itsrealworkitstheworkofdesigning
yourfuture,soyoucantakethestepsnecessarytocreateit.

40
Succe ssTweet 13

Yourvividmentalimageisablueprint.Itisaplanforsuccess,butyoustillhavetodo
theworktomakeitareality.

Iprobablyshouldamendthetweettosay,Yourvividmentalimageisagoal.Youneed
tocreateaplan(ablueprint)tomakethisgoalarealityandthendothework.
Regardless,thecareersuccesscoachmessagehereissimple.Youhavetodothework
toachieveyourgoals.Itsuptoyou.Youretheonewhohastodothework.

MycurrentvividimageofmycareersuccessisoneinwhichIworkprimarilyfromhome
asanInternetmarketer.

Ihaveaplantomakethisvividmentalimagecometrue.ToimplementthisplanIneed
tomanagemytimewell.MostofthereallyimportantworkIdorequireslargechunks
ofunbrokentime.Icreatelargechunksoftimeforworkingonbigprojectsand
importantactivitieslikewritingbooks,bloggingandcreatingproducts.

Thesameistrueforyou.Youhavetofigureoutwhatsimportanttoyouandthen
createchunksoftimetodowhatsimportant.Besidesmycareersuccessgoals,my
healthisimportanttome;soIallocate30to60minutesadayforexercise.Imgoingfor
abikerideassoonasIfinishwritingthispost.Ihaveafriendwhoreadsinspirational
literatureforatleast15minuteseachnightbeforehegoestosleep.Hesaysthatthis
helpshimbegineachdayinspiredandreadytomoveforwardtowardhisgoals.

Theimportantpointhereistoplanyourdaysinadvance.Schedulespecificfixedtime
periodsforparticularlyimportantactivitiesandtasks.Makeappointmentswithyourself
andthendisciplineyourselftokeepthem.Setaside30,60and90minutetime
segmentsinwhichyouwillworkonandcompleteimportanttasksthatmoveyou
towardyourvividmentalimageofsuccess.

StephenCoveytellsusthatsuccessfulpeoplefindthetimetofocusontheimportant,
butnoturgenttasks.Ifyourenotcareful,yourdaywillgettakenupwithurgent
(sometimesimportantandsometimesunimportant)tasks.Ifthishappens,youwillbe
keepingyourheadabovewater,butnotgaininganyground.Youwontbemoving
towardyourvividmentalimageofyoursuccess.

41
WritingandpostingthisblogisagoodexampleofoneofthechunksoftimeIcarveout
formyself.Myblogisanimportant,butnoturgentactivityforme.Ifyourearegular
reader,youknowthatIposteveryday,MondaythroughFriday.Ipostonadifferent
topiceachday.Thisstructurehelpsmewhenitcomestocomposingmyposts.Right
now,Iveaddedevenmorestructure.Iamdoingaseriesofblogpoststhatfurther
explaintheadviceinSuccessTweets.Thisisthe13thpostintheseries.Iwillkeepgoing
untilIhavedoneablogpostonall141tweetsthereisabonustweetinthebook.If
youwantafreecopyoftheeBookversion,gotowww.SuccessTweets.com.

Iusuallywritemypoststwoorthreedaysahead.Ataminimum,Iwriteblogpoststhe
nightbeforeIpostthem.Ittakesme30to45minutestowriteablogpost.My
disciplineinwritingadaybeforeIpostmeansthatIdontfeelundertheguntowrite
somethingeverymorning.Ithinkitresultsinbetterqualityposts,andmovesme
towardmyvividmentalimageofsuccess.

Ipostmyblogsfirstthingeveryday.IfIhaveaveryearlymeeting,orwillbetraveling
early,Ipostthenightbefore.Ittakesmeabout30minutestopostthisblog,asIpostit
inseverallocations.www.BudBilanich.comisthemainpageforthisblog.However,I
alsoposttoseveralothersites.

Allofthistakestimeanddiscipline.ThetimeIspendwritingandpostingeverydayisa
veryimportantpartofmaintainingmyInternetpresence.MyInternetpresenceisthe
cornerstoneofmymarketingefforts.Icarveoutlargechunksoftimetodothe
important,butnoturgenttaskofbuildingandmaintainingmyInternetpresence.Ihave
disciplinedmyselftosetaside60to90minutesperdayforwritingandpostingmy
blogs.

Ialsocarveouttimetocommentonfiveblogposts,writtenbyotherbloggers,every
day.ThisalsohelpswithmyInternetpresenceandtakesaboutanhouraday.Ihave
identifiedanumberofblogsIreadregularlyandonwhichIcomment.Ittakesabout
seventotenminutestocomposeathoughtfulcommentforeachpost.

Inthepast,Ihavehadgoodintentionsofdoingthis,buttheurgenttasksthatcomeup
everydayhavemadethisahitandmissproposition.Recently,IdecidedthatIwilltake
onehourattheendofeverydaytoreadandcommentonotherblogs.Iwilldothis
beforeIendmybusinessfortheday.

42
Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Fromatimeperspective,
yougetthebiggestbangforthebuckfromtheactivitiesthatareimportanttoyour
success,butarenoturgent.Unfortunately,importantbutnoturgenttasksoftendont
getdonebecauseofalloftheurgenttasksthatcomeupduringanygivenday.Tweet13
inSuccessTweetssays,Yourvividmentalimageisablueprint.Itisaplanforsuccess,
butyoustillhavetodotheworktomakeitareality.Onewaytogetstarteddoingthe
workistoscheduletimetoworkontheimportantbutnoturgenttasksthatwillresultin
achievingyourvividmentalimageofyourcareersuccess.Mybestcareersuccesscoach
adviceistokeepyourcommitmenttoyourselfandyourcareersuccessbyplanningyour
workandworkingyourplan.

43
Succe ssTweet 14

Dontvisualizethepainoffailure,visualizetheeuphoriaofsuccess.

Ithinkitgoeswithoutsayingthatpositivevisualizationismoreproductivethannegative
visualization.Youdontneedacareersuccesscoachtotellyouthat.

Whatifscanbecomeaformofnegativevisualization.YouknowwhatImean.What
ifItrytodothis,andIfail?Thatsvisualizingthepainoffailure,nottheeuphoriaof
success.

Positivevisualizationwillhelpyoucreatethelifeandcareersuccessyouwantand
deserve.Takeitfromacareersuccesscoach;creatingavividmentalimageofyouasa
careersuccessisthefirststepinbecomingacareersuccess.Asthetweetsays,focuson
theeuphoriaofsuccess.

Yougetthis;itsthelawofattractionatwork.Ifyouvisualizeyourselfasafailure,you
willattractfailure.Ifyouvisualizeyourselfasacareersuccess,youwillattractcareer
success.

Nuffsaidaboutthat.

Idliketospendsometimediscussingtheimportanceoffailurespecificallyhow
learningfromfailurecanhelpyoucreatethelifeandcareersuccessyouwantand
deserve.

ThelateTedWilliamsisfamousforhavingaseasonbattingaverageof.411.Thatmeans
thatoutofevery1,000timesatbat,hegotahit411times.Thisisconsideredby
baseballfansasoneofthegreatestrecordseverandunlikelytoeverbebroken.Imet
TedWilliamsonce.Byastrangeturnofevents,wewerestayinginthesamecorporate
suiteatthesametime.TedWilliamslivedbaseball.Hetoldmethathelearnedfrom
everyatbatwhetherornothegotahit.Hesaidthathewantedtogetahitevery
timehecametobat.Whenhedidnt,hesaidheanalyzedthesituationtoseewhathe
couldlearn.

TedWilliamsfailedoverhalfthetimeinhisrecordsettingyear.Andhelearnedthat
failureisinevitableifyouaretryingforgreatness.Failureisjustabumpintheroadto
success.

44
Manypeopledontevensetoutontheroadtosuccessbecausetheyfearthattheymay
failandnotreachtheirdestination.Iwasspeakingwithoneofmycareersuccesscoach
clientstoday.ShetoldmethatshehadfoundagreatjobwithGoogleonethatwasa
perfectmatchforherqualifications.Butshedidntevenapplybecauseshewasafraid
shewouldntgetthejob.Bynotapplying,sheguaranteedthatshewouldntgetthejob.

ToputthisstoryinthecontextofTweet14inSuccessTweets,shevisualizedthepainof
failure,nottheeuphoriaofgettingajobwithoneofthebestcompaniesintheworld.

Fearworksinafunnyway.Whenyouembracethefactthatyouwillfailonyour
journeytolifeandcareersuccess,youllfindthatyouhavenothingtofearanymore.
Whenthishappensyoullkeepyoureyesopen,pickyourselfup,learnfromthefailure,
andmoveon.

AsItellmycareersuccesscoachclients,Failureisneverfailureunlessyoufailtolearn
somethingfromit.

IchoosetocallthebumpsintheroadthatIexperiencelearningexperiences,not
failures.Whenthingsdontworkoutforyou,askyourself,WhatcanIlearnfromthis?
Eventhesmallestlearningmakestheexperienceworthit.

Treatfailurenotasanendbutasabeginning.AsMikeDitka,thefamousfootballcoach,
says,Failureisrarelyfatal.Thisistrue.Treatfailuresaslearningexperiences;pick
yourselfup,makesomeadjustmentsandbeonyourway.Therearealways
opportunitiesfornewbeginnings.Dontquitinthemiddleofaproblem;failure
happensonlywhenyouquit.Dontgiveup.Visualizetheeuphoriaofsuccesswhenyou
aretemptedtoquit.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopledont
quit.Theytreatfailuresasmeresetbacksontheroadtocareersuccess.Theyheedthe
adviceinTweet14inSuccessTweets:Dontvisualizethepainoffailure.Visualizethe
euphoriaofsuccess.Ifyouvisualizeyourselfasafailure,youwillattractfailure.Ifyou
visualizeyourselfasacareersuccess,youwillattractcareersuccess.Thisdoesntmean
thattheroadwillalwaysbesmooth.Butthiscareersuccesscoachwilltellyouthatthe
roadwillalwaysbesmootherwhenyouhaveavividmentalimageofyoursuccess
awaitingyouattheend.Treatfailureasthelearningopportunityitis.Giveyourselfa
minuteortwotobefrustrated.Findthelearninginthefailure.Thenusethislearning
tomoveforwardtothelifeandcareersuccessthatyouhavevisualizedforyourself.

45
Succe ssTweet 15

NapoleonHillonvisualization:Whatthemindcanconceiveandbelieveitcan
achieve.Whatisyourvisionforyourfuture?

IamabigChinesefoodfan.Isometimesfindinspirationforblogpostsinfortune
cookies.ItsbeenawhilesinceIdidafortunecookiepost.But,asluckwouldhaveit,
lastnightmyfortunecookieread,Advancementwillcomewithhardwork.Iagree.
Thispostisaboutdoingtheworknecessarytomakethevisionofyourcareersuccessa
reality.

Whileyouneedtovisualizeyourlifeandcareersuccess,yourvisionisfornaughtifyou
donthavethewillanddeterminationtoworkhardatmakingitareality.Theresa
quotethatIveseenattributedtomanyAmericanfootballcoaches,Nobodyever
drownedinhisownsweat.Youhavetobewillingtoworkhardifyouregoingto
succeed.

Yes,youneedtoworksmart,notjusthard,buthardworkisthebestwaytocreatethe
careerandlifesuccessyouwantanddeserve.FortuneMagazinesaysitsuccinctly:
Thereisnosubstituteforhardwork.BobbyFischerbecameachessgrandmasterat
age16.However,hehadnineyearsofhardworkandintensestudytogettothatplace.
Fewofusarewillingtoworkthathardatthatearlyofanage.

Thesuccessliteratureisfullofquotesonhardwork.Takealook

Idonotknowanyonewhohasgottentothetopwithouthardwork.Thatisthe
recipe.Itwillnotalwaysgetyoutothetop,butitwillgetyouprettynear.
Marga retThat cher

I'magreatbelieverinluckandIfindtheharderIwork,themoreIhaveofit.
Thom asJe ffe rs on

Loveconquersall,butiflovedoesn'tdoit,tryhardwork.Unk nown

46
 Ifthepowertodohardworkisnotaskill,it'sthebestpossiblesubstitutefor
it.James A. Ga rfield

Whenyouliveforastrongpurpose,thenhardworkisntanoption.Itsa
necessity.StevePav lina

Thereisnosubstituteforhardwork.Thomas Edis on

Thedailygrindofhardworkgetsapersonpolished.Unk nown

Unlessyouarewillingtodrenchyourselfinyourworkbeyondthecapacityof
theaverageman,youarejustnotcutoutforpositionsatthetop.J.C.Penney

Hardworkisthekeytosuccess,soworkdiligentlyonanyprojectyou
undertake.Ifyoutrulywanttobesuccessful,bepreparedtogiveupyourleisure
timeandworkpast5PMandonweekends.Cha rles Laz arus

Ilearnedthevalueofhardworkbyworkinghard.Marga ret M. F itz pat rick

Hardworkhasmadeiteasy.Thatismysecret.ThatiswhyIwin.Na dia
Coma ne ci

Hardworkcertainlygoesalongway.Thesedaysalotofpeopleworkhard,so
youhavetomakesureyouworkevenharderandreallydedicateyourselfto
whatyouaredoingandsettingouttoachieve.Lakshm iM itt a l

Strivingforsuccesswithouthardworkisliketryingtoharvestwhereyou
haven'tplanted.Dav idBly

HeresastorymyfriendAndyOBryantellsabouthissuccessjourney

47
 Theyearwas2004.

Ihadleftmyhighpayingmarketingdirectorpositionandwastryingtoget
tractionwithafledglinghomebusiness.TopaythebillsIwascoldcallingfrom
95for$400aweek.

From7pmto1ameverynightIwasinterviewing.Authors,speakers,coaches,
trainers,gurus,icons,industryleaders.ForawhileIwasdoing6or7interviews
aweek.

Lifelessons,businessadvice,salestraining,inspiration,justanamazingamount
ofcontentcameoutofthesesessions.

Thecallswererecordedandthemp3'swereputuponawebsite:
http://www.AudioMotivation.com.

CofounderJoshHindsandIgrewthissitetoover1,500payingmembersand
800affiliates.Thereareover100interviewsinthere.Itwasaverychallenging
butextremelyrewardingtimeofmylife.

Andynowhasaverysuccessfulhomebasedbusiness.Butheputinthetimeandhard
workittooktomakeitso.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleheed
theadviceinTweet15inSuccessTweets:NapoleonHillonvisualization:Whatthe
mindcanconceiveandbelieveitcanachieve.Whatisyourvisionforyourfuture?
Achieveisthekeywordhere.Andachievegoeshandinhandwithhardwork.
Successfulpeoplenotonlycreateavividmentalimageoftheirsuccess.Theyputinthe
hardworknecessaryforrealizingthatvision.Therearenotwowaysaboutit.Ifyou
wanttocreateasuccessfullifeandcareer,youneedtoputinthetimeandeffort
necessarytosucceed.Sometimesthismeansworkinglongerhoursthanothers.Ihave
foundthatawellfocusedextrahouraweekcanyieldbigresults.

48
Succe ssTweet 16

Useaffirmationstorealizeyourvisionofyoursuccess.Affirmationsarestatements
aboutthefuturestatedinthepresenttense.

Selfconfidenceisanimportantkeytolifeandcareersuccess.Thiscareersuccesscoach
haslearnedthatselfconfidenceisanupwardspiral.Selfconfidenceleadstocareer
success,whichleadstoincreasedselfconfidence,whichleadstohigherlevelsofcareer
success,andsoon.

Youmightbesaying,Thatsgreat,buthowdoIbecomeselfconfidentifImnewinmy
joborifIhaventhadalotofsuccesstobolstermyselfconfidence?Theresanold
sayingthatapplieshere:Fakeittillyoumakeit.Inotherwords,actasifyouarea
careersuccessalready.Thiswillhelpyousucceed.Yoursuccesswillhelpyoubuildyour
selfconfidence.

Howdoyoufakeit,tillyoumakeit?AsTweet16inSuccessTweetssays,beginwith
affirmations.Ifyoureinanewjob,tellyourselfsomethinglike,Ihavetheskillsand
desiretosucceedinthisjob,severaltimesaday.Ifyourepeatthistoyourselfoften
enough,youwillbegintobelieveit.Thiswillhelpyouperformatthelevelnecessaryin
ordertoactuallysucceedinyourjob.

Affirmationsarepositiveselftalk.Theideabehindaffirmationsissimple.Whenyou
thinkofthethingstowhichyouaspire,likebecomingacareersuccess,andthentell
yourselfthatyouareacareersuccess,youwillbelievethatyoucanbecomeacareer
success.Moreimportant,youwillbemorelikelytodotheworkittakestomakeyour
careersuccessaspirationscometrue.

AsImentionedinmydiscussionofSuccessTweet2,Ifollowmyowncareersuccess
coachadvice.Acoupleofyearsago,IwroteabookcalledStarPower,CommonSense
IdeasforCareerandLifeSuccess.Iusedastartodepictthismodel.Iurgedreadersto
thinkofthemselvesasastarandtoaspiretobecomingacareerandlifestar.Ilikethe
starmetaphor.Daily,Irepeatthefollowingaffirmationtomyself:BudBilanichisa
star.

49
Ivedonealotofworkinginmakingthisaffirmationarealityredoingmywebsite,
developingbetterpromotionalmaterials,speaking,writingbooks,blogging.

Ivealsodonesomethingalittleunusual.Afewyearsago,rightafterStarPowerwas
published,IwenttotheNameaStarwebsiteandnamedastaraftermyself.NowI
cansay,BudBilanichisastarandreallybelieveit,becauseBudBilanichreallyisastar.

BudBilanichthestarisCatalogNumberTYC86810111intheconstellationLeo.Bud
BilanichhasaVisualMagnitudeindicatorof11.2.RightAscensionis11h58m21s.
Declinationis11degrees,43,18.

Idonthaveacluewhatallofthesethingsmean,excepttheconstellationLeo,whichI
chosebecausemybirthdayisAugust14.ButIdoknowonething.BudBilanichisastar!

Howsthatforanaffirmation?

Affirmationswork.Ihavebecomeaminorstarinthecareersuccesscoachworld.

YoudontneedtogotothelengthsIdidtomakeyourpersonalaffirmationswork
either.Justdecidewhatyouwant,visualizeyourselfashavingit.Tellyourselfyouhave
it.Repeatthataffirmationseveraltimesaday.Thendowhateverittakestomakeyour
affirmationcometrue.

Affirmationsalone,however,arenotenoughtoguaranteeyourcareersuccess.You
havetodothework.Spendthetimenecessarytoaccomplishyourgoals.Volunteerfor
projectsthatwillgetyounoticed.Becomeanexpertonyourcompany,itscompetitors,
andyourindustry.Inotherwords,bustyourbutt,andyouwillsucceed.

Thecommonsensepointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleareselfconfident.Ifyou
wanttobecomeselfconfident,youneedtobecomeanoptimist,faceyourfears,and
hangaroundwithselfconfidentpeople.Yourselfconfidencewillimproveasyoubegin
tobecomealifeandcareersuccess.Theselfconfidence=>careersuccess=>self
confidencecycleisanupwardspiral.Youhavetoenterthecyclesomewhere.You
mightnothaveastrongtrackrecordasyoubeginyourcareer,moveintoanewjob,or
startabusiness.Therefore,youhavetofakeittillyoumakeitbyactingasifyouare
acareersuccess.Findwaystobolsteryourselfconfidenceuntilyouhavesomereal
successesonwhichyoucanbuild.Tweet16inSuccessTweetssays,Useaffirmations
torealizeyourvisionofyoursuccess.Affirmationsarestatementsaboutthefuture

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statedinthepresenttense.Usethiscareersuccesscoachadvice.Affirmationsarea
greattoolforhelpingyoufakeittillyoumakeit.

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Succe ssTweet 17

Clarifyyourpersonalvalues.Youvaluesareyouranchor.Theygroundyou.They
centeryou.Theykeepyoufocusedonwhatsimportant.

Yourpersonalvaluesareimportantforanumberofreasons.Theycanhelpyou
determinethetypesofpeoplewithwhomyouwanttospendyourvaluabletime.They
canhelpyoudeterminewhichcompanyyouwanttojoin.Theycanhelpyoumake
decisionsinambiguoussituations.Thiscareersuccesscoachisabigbelieverinthe
powerofpersonalvalues.

HereiswhatIvalue.Thesevaluesguidemylife.Theygroundmeandcenterme.They
keepmefocusedonwhatsimportant.

CommonSense.RalphWaldoEmersononcesaid,nothingsoastonishesmenas
commonsenseandplaindealing.Iagree.Ihelpmycareersuccesscoachclientsfigure
outthecommonsensesolutiontocreatingthelifeandcareersuccesstheywantand
deserve,andthentodotheworkittakestoapplytheircommonsense.

Simplifythecomplex.Ibelievethatalltoooftenpeoplemakethingsmorecomplex
thantheyreallyare.Ihelpmycareersuccesscoachclientssimplifythecomplex,and
developandimplementcommonsensesolutionstotheirproblemsandissues.

Optimism.Ibelievethatoptimismisessentialforanyonetogrowandflourish.Iliveby
thewordsinTheOptimistCreed.Isharethesewordswithmycareersuccesscoach
clients.Ifyouwouldlikeacopy,gotohttp://budbilanich.com/optimist.

Humanpotential.Ibelieveweallcanaccomplishgreatthings.Ihelpmycareersuccess
coachclientsuseappliedcommonsensetoachievetheirfullpotential.

Value.Mycareersuccesscoachclientspayhardearnedmoneyformyservices.I
providethemwithextraordinaryvalueaddedservicesinordertojustifytheirfaithin
me.

Trust.Mycareersuccesscoachclientstrustme.Theyopenlydiscusstheirhopes,fears,
problemsandopportunitieswithme.Thistrustissacred.Iwillnotviolateit.

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Individuality.Allofmycareersuccesscoachclientsareuniqueindividuals.Ihonorthis
uniqueness.Idontsellonesizefitsallcoachingservices.Iamdiligentaboutgaininga
completeunderstandingofeachindividualsuniqueneedsasIbeginworkingwithhim
orher.

Hardwork.Therearenoshortcuts.Iamwillingtoputinthetimeandeffortnecessary
tosucceed.Isharethismessagewithmycareersuccesscoachclients.Iencourage
themtobetruetothemselvesbybeingdiligentinpursuingtheircareersuccessgoals
anddreams.

ThePowerof1.Onepersoncanmakeadifference.IdotheworkIdo,becauseI
believeIcanmakeadifferenceinthelivesofmycareersuccesscoachclients,andin
theworld.

Thosearemyvalues.Whatareyours?

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplelive
theirlivesbyasetofwelldefinedpersonalvalues.TheyfollowtheadviceinTweet17
inSuccessTweets:Clarifyyourpersonalvalues.Yourvaluesareyouranchor.They
groundyou.Theycenteryou.Theykeepyoufocusedonwhatsimportant.Ifyou
haventtakenthetimetoclarifyyourpersonalvalues,youneedtodosothesooner
thebetter.ThisissomeofthebestcareeradviceIcangiveyou.Clarifyingyour
personalvalueswillhelpyoudealwiththeambiguityandcomplexitytheworldthrows
atyou.

53
Succe ssTweet 18

Youvegottostandforsomething,oryoullfallforanything.Yourvalueshelpyou
makedecisionsinambiguoussituations.

Ifyouknowyourrockandroll,youknowthatthefirstsentenceintodaystweetisthe
titleofaJohnMellencampsongoneofmyfavorites.Anditstrue.You,me,allofus,
needtostandforsomethingifweregoingtocreatethelifeandcareersuccesswewant
anddeserve.Yourpersonalvaluesarewhatyoustandfor.

IntheTweet17post,Isharedmypersonalvalues:commonsense,simplicity,optimism,
humanpotential,value,trust,individuality,hardwork,thepowerof1.Thesevaluesare
thefoundationonwhichIhavebuiltmylifeandcareer.Theyguidemydecisionmaking.
IturntothemwhenIneedhelpfiguringoutwhattodo.Theyhaveservedmewell.

InAprilof1988,Iwasfacingamajorlifeandcareerdecisionstayinagood,secure,
albeitsomewhatunsatisfyingjobwithatopnotchcorporation,orstrikeoutonmyown
asanindependentcareersuccesscoach,speakerandconsultant.Ilookedtomyvalues.
Optimism,humanpotentialandhardworkjumpedoutatme.Iamanoptimist.I
believeinhumanpotential,includingmine.Ihavealwaysbeenahardworker.

Reflectingonmyvaluesespeciallythesethreemadethedecisioneasy.Anoptimist,
someonewhobelievesinhumanpotential,andahardworkerwouldtakethechance
andstartasmallbusinesswhichiswhatIdid.IbecameTheCommonSenseGuyover
22yearsagoandhaveneverlookedback.Myvaluesguidedmethroughthedecision
makingprocess.

Heresanotherexample.AsIbeganmyworkasacareersuccesscoach,Ifoundthat
manyofmyclientswereoverwhelmedbythecomplexityofcreatingthelifeandcareer
successtheywanted.Theywerelookingforsimpleanswerstocomplexquestions.I
createdmy4CsofSuccessModeltohelpprovidetheseanswers.Bystudying
successfulpeople,Iwasabletocreateasimple,straightforward,commonsensemodel
thatshowedmycareersuccesscoachclientshowtocreatelifeandcareersuccess

1. Clarifyyourpurposeanddirectioninlifeandyourcareer.
2. Committotakingpersonalresponsibilityforyourlifeandcareersuccess.
3. Buildunshakeableselfconfidence.

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 4. Getcompetentinfourimportantareas:creatingpositivepersonalimpact,
outstandingperformance,dynamiccommunication,andrelationshipbuilding.

Iveusedthissimplemodeltohelphundredsofpeoplecreatethelifeandcareer
successtheywantanddeserve.SuccessTweetsisorganizedaroundit.Tweet18isone
waytoclarifythepurposeanddirectionforyourlifeandcareer.Mypersonalvalues,of
commonsenseandsimplifyingthecomplex,helpedmefigureoutasimple,but
comprehensivemodeloflifeandcareersuccess.Iusethismodelinmyworkasacareer
successcoach.

Iamacareersuccesscoachinlargepartbecauseofmycommitmenttomypersonal
valueofthepowerof1.Ibelievethatonepersoncanchangetheworld.ThatswhyI
worksohardtohelpthepeopleinmylifeseethattheycanbecomealifeandcareer
success.Mypersonalvalueofgivingvaluecomesintoplayhereaswell.Ialways
providemycareersuccesscoachclientswithmorethanIhaveto.Igiveawayalotof
mybooks.Inthisway,peoplehaveareminderofthethingswevetalkedaboutto
whichtheycanreferoverandoveragain.Ihaveagoalofgivingaway10,000copiesof
theeBookversionofSuccessTweets.Ifyouwantacopy,goto
www.SuccessTweets.com.Feelfreetosendyourfriendsthere,too.

Thecareersuccesscoachcommonsensepointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleclarify
theirpurposeanddirectioninlife.Yourpersonalvaluesareanimportantpartofyour
personalclarityofpurposeanddirection.Tweet18inSuccessTweetssays,Youvegot
tostandforsomething,oryoullfallforanything.Yourvalueshelpyoumakedecisions
inambiguoussituations.Onceyouveclarifiedyourpersonalvalues,youneedtolive
them.Usingyourvaluestoguideyourdecisionmakingisagreatwaytolivethemona
daytodaybasis.Yourvalueswillhelpyoustandforsomethingsoyoudontfallfor
anything.JustaskJohnMellencamp.

55
Succe ssTweet 19

Yourpersonalvaluesarethingsthatyouholdnearanddear;thingsonwhichyou
absolutelywillnotcompromise.

KevinEikenberryisafriendofmine,andaleadershipexpert.Isubscribetohisblog.
Theotherdayhedidapostinwhichhetalkedabouttheimportanceofafirmand
steadyfoundation.HeusedtheBibleparableaboutthewisemanwhobuilthishouse
upontherock,andthecarelessmanwhobuilthishouseonsand.Whentherainsand
windscame,thewisemanshousestayedstrong;theothermanswaswashedaway.

Kevinwentontosay

Thestoryspeakstobuildingonafirmandsteadyfoundation.Theparallelfor
usasleadersistobuildourleadershiphabits,valuesandbeliefsonsolid
unshakableprinciples.Itiseasytoreadabookorarticleandbeexcitedabouta
newtechnique,approachormethod.Mostofthesearesoundandvaluable.
Butultimatelytheywillholdthegreatestvalueforyouwhentheyareintegrated
intothefoundationofyourleadershiphouseandthetechniques,methodsand
approachesareunderstoodbasedontheirunderlyingandunassailable
principles.

Yourpersonalvaluesareyourcareersuccessfoundation.AsKevinsays,theyshouldbe
solid,unshakeableprincipals,thingsthatguideyourlifeandyourdecisionmaking.They
shouldbefadproof;ideasonwhichyoucanrelyinthelongrun.

Acoupleofdaysago,IdidapostinwhichIidentifiedmypersonalvalues:common
sense,simplicity,optimism,humanpotential,value,trust,individuality,hardwork,the
powerof1.ThesevaluesarethefoundationonwhichIhavebuiltmylifeandcareer.
Theyguidemydecisionmaking.IturntothemwhenIneedhelpfiguringoutwhatto
do.Theyhaveservedmewell.And,Iwillnotcompromiseonthem.

Letmegiveyouanexample.BackinDecemberIwasapproachedbyanHRexecutiveat
oneofmycorporateclients.HeaskedifIwouldbewillingtoprovidesomecoachingfor
oneoftheleadersattheoperationforwhichheisresponsible.Ofcourse,Isaidyes.

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IsubmittedaproposaloutlininghowIwouldapproachthisspecificcoachingproject.
Then,overthenextfewmonths,Iansweredalotofquestionsaboutmyapproachto
thecoaching,howmuchitwouldcost,etc.IsenttheHRexecseveralofmybooks
gratis.IreallythoughtIhadthegigsownup.Lastweekhecalledmetotellmethat
whilehewouldhavepreferredtousemyservices,hisHRbossatcorporate
headquartersinstructedhimtouseanothercoachwhowasdoingsomeworkinanother
partofthecompany.

Ifyouveeverworkedhardtomakeasaleandthenlostitduetosomethingcompletely
outofyourcontrol,youknowhowIfeltfrustrated.Iwasdiscussingthissituationwith
acolleague.Shesaidthatshewouldhavebeenveryangryaboutthissituation.Iwasnt
angry,stuffhappensinbusiness.Iwasalittlefrustrated,butIchosetoletitgo.

Ivalueoptimism.TheOptimistCreedguidesmybehavior.Point1ofTheOptimist
Creedsays,Promiseyourselftobesostrongthatnothingcandisturbyourpeaceof
mind.Point4says,Promiseyourselftolookatthesunnysideofeverythingandmake
youroptimismcometrue.AsItrulyvalueoptimismandthisadvice,Ihadtoletgoof
thefrustratingsituation.Holdingontoitwouldhavecreatednegativeenergythat
wouldhaveimpactedmywork.Idonthavetimefornegativeenergy.Imanoptimist.
AsPoint10ofTheOptimistCreedsays,Iamtoolargeforworry,toonobleforanger,
toostrongforfear,andtoohappytopermitthepresenceoftrouble.Ivalueoptimism.
Therefore,Iletgoofthesituationandmovedon.

Bytheway,Ihavecreatedaframeable.pdfofTheOptimistCreed.Ifyouwouldlikea
freecopytoframeandhanginyourworkspace,gotohttp://budbilanich.com/optimist/
todownloadit.Ihavegivenawayover1,000copiesofittoreadersofthisblogandmy
careersuccesscoachclients.

Heresanotherexample.Ivaluetrust.Iamatrustworthyperson,andIassumethaton
thepartofotherpeople.ThatswhymostoftenIdobusinessonahandshake.Iwill
signacontractifitsabsolutelynecessary;somecompanieswonthiremewithouta
signedcontract.ButIprefermyworkingrelationshipstobelessformal.Somepeople
saythisisnave.Ithinkitistrusting.Imnottryingtoconvinceyoutodobusinessona
handshake.Ibringitupheretoshowyouhowmypersonalvalueoftrustimpactsmy
workeveryday.

Ivaluehardwork.Itsinmygenes.IamskepticalofandturnedoffbyInternetoffersto
setupabusinessthatrequireslittletonowork.Mybeliefisthatthedictionaryisthe
onlyplacesuccesscomesbeforework.ThisdoesntmeanthatIaminefficientabout

57
whatIdo.Thatsnotthecase.IoutsourcealotofmytechnicalworkbecauseImnot
goodatit.Idontwanttobecomeanhtmlexpert.Ontheotherhand,Iusemytimeto
dothethingsImgoodatlikewritingbooksandthisblog,appearingasagueston
Internetandbroadcastradiointerviews,workingwithmycareersuccesscoachclients.I
workhardatdoingthethingsthathelpmeadvancemybusinessandcareersuccess.I
believetheoldadage,theharderIwork,theluckierIget.

Thecommonsensepointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleusetheirpersonalvaluesas
afoundation.Theywilllistentonewideas,butdontchangeonawhim.Theyheedthe
adviceinTweet19inSuccessTweets,Yourpersonalvaluesarethingsthatyouhold
nearanddear;thingsonwhichyouabsolutelywillnotcompromise.Thismeansthat
youshouldthinklongandhardaboutyourvalues.Theyshouldcomefromdeepinside
you.Onceyouclarifythem,livethem.Betruetoyourselfandyourpersonalvalues.
Youllfindthatyourpersonalvaluesareafoundationthatwillserveyouwellwhen
thingsgettoughandfrustrating.

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Succe ssTweet 20

Yourvaluescomefromdeepinsideyou.Spendthetimenecessarytodiscoverthem.
Thenholdfasttothem.Honorthemwithyouractions.

Iloveblogging.Itgivesmetheopportunitytosharemythoughtsandideaswithpeople
whocantaffordmycareersuccesscoachservices.Italsokeepsmesharp.Mythinking
onlifeandcareersuccesshasgrownanddevelopedbecauseofthisblog.Ihopethisis
reflectedinthequalityofmyposts.IthinkIgivebettercareeradviceasaresultof
writingthisblog.

Thereisasidebenefittobloggingtoo.PeoplesendmefreebooksinthehopesthatI
willreviewthem.Awhileback,IreceivedacopyofMashaMalkaslatestbook,TheOne
MinuteCoach.Itsagreatlittlebook.

MashahasorganizedTheOneMinuteCoachintobitesizedchunks.Onethree
paragraphchapterentitled,WhatDoesItTaketobeAttractive?makesagreatpoint
aboutbeingtruetoyourself

Beingattractivecomesfromhavingthatmagneticpowerthatpullspeople
towardsyou.Apowerthatinspiresthemtotalktoyouandfindoutmoreabout
whoare;apowerthatmakesthemwanttobelikeyou!

Shefollowsthisupwithfiveactionsteps.Ilovethefifthstep

Focusonwhoyouareandnotjustwhatyoulooklike.Peoplefallinlovewith
theessenceofyouyourenergy,thesparkleinyoureyes,yourpassionfor
living,yourunconditionallove,everythingthatmakesyouuniqueand
specialpeoplefallinlovewithyourbeautifulsoul.

Whatisyouressence,yourbeautifulsoul?Itliesinyourpersonalvalues.Doyoulet
youressenceandvaluesshinethrough?Ordoyoukeepthembothunderwraps,
thinkingthatyouwontmeasureupinotherseyesifyouletyourtrueselfshow?

WhenIwasinhighschoolandreadingHamlet,wegottothepointintheplaywhere
Hamletissettingofftoavengehisfather.Poloniusgiveshimsomeadvice.Wewere
readingtheplayoutloud.IwasreadingjustbeforePoloniusadvice.Mrs.Yothers

59
stoppedmeandsaid,Thisissomeofthebestadviceonlifethatyouwilleverget.
ReadslowlyBud,andtherestofyoushouldlistenclosely.

Icantremembertheentireverseanymore,buttherewasonelinethathasalwaysstuck
withme.Andaboveallelse,tothineownselfbetrue,anditmustfollowastheday
thenight,thoucanstbefalsetonoman.

WhenmynephewMattSeatonwasgoingofftocollege,hisgrandfatherandmyfather
inlaw,RoyBlackman,gavehimapieceofadvicewrittenonascrapofpaper.Itread
TTOSBTfigureitoutandlivebyit.

Canyoufigureitout?Heresahint:readthequotefromPolonius.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Wearealluniquehuman
beings.Eachofushaswonderfultraits.Ourbesttraitscomefromdeepinside
ourselves,ourpersonalvalues.Weallneedtohavetheconfidencetoletourwonders
shinethrough.Youcreatepositivepersonalimpactwhenyoulivebyyourvaluesandlet
youressenceshinethrough.PayattentiontotheadviceinTweet20inSuccessTweets:
Yourvaluescomefromdeepinsideyou.Spendthetimenecessarytodiscoverthem.
Thenholdfasttothem.Honorthemwithyouractions.Honoryourvaluesintheway
youliveyourlife.Letyourvaluesshinethroughthenexttimeyouareinaroomfullof
strangers.Youmightbesurprisedatthewaypeoplerespondtoyou.

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Succe ssTweet 21

Youreincharge!Committotakingpersonalresponsibilityforcreatingthesuccessful
lifeandcareeryouwantanddeserve.

TheotherdayIsawagreatquotefromMargaretThatcher

Lookatadaywhenyouaresupremelysatisfiedattheend.It'snotadaywhen
youloungearounddoingnothing;it'swhenyou'vehadeverythingtodo,and
you'vedoneit.

OleIronMaggiereallynaileditwiththisone.Ilikethisquotebecauseitgetsatthe
essenceofTweet21committingtotakingpersonalresponsibilityforyourlifeand
career.Commitmenttotakingpersonalresponsibilityisthesecondofthefourpillarsof
myCareerSuccessGPSSystem,andsomeofthemostimportantcareeradviceIoffer
mycareersuccesscoachclients.

Youdemonstrateyourcommitmenttoyourcareersuccesstoyourselfandtothe
worldbydoingthreethings.First,takepersonalresponsibilityforyourcareersuccess.
Onlyyoucanmakeyouacareersuccess.Youmustbewillingtodothethingsnecessary
tosucceed.Second,sethighgoalsandthendowhateverittakestoachievethem.
Third,stuffhappens;asyougothroughlifeyouwillencountermanyproblemsand
setbacks.Youneedtoreactpositivelytothenegativestuffandmoveforwardtoward
yourgoals,dreamsandcareersuccess.

Thosedaysinwhichyouhavealottodo,andyougetitalldone,arenotonlysatisfying;
theydemonstrateyourcommitmenttoyourcareersuccess,andtheyhelpstrengthen
thatcommitment.ImwritingthisonaplaneonFridaynight.Itsabout8:00inthe
evening.Ivebeenupsince5:00becauseIneededtofinishanimportantprojectforone
clientbeforeIspentthedayworkingwithanother.Ivehadafull,butverysatisfying,
day.And,asMs.Thatcherpointsout,oneinwhichIfeelasenseofsupreme
satisfaction.IvedemonstratedtomyselfthatImwillingtodothethingsnecessaryto
succeed.

Ihadaboutwiththefluthiswinter.Itleftmefeelingweakandtired.Ispentallofa
MondayafternoonandagoodpartofthefollowingTuesdaymorninginbed.Itcouldnt
behelped.Ineededtogetmystrengthback.ByTuesdayafternoon,Iwasfeeling

61
physicallybetter,butemotionallydrained.IfeltasifIhadntmovedforwardtowardmy
goals.Ididntgetanythingdoneforabout24hoursandIhatedit.EventhoughIwas
sick,IfeltasifIhadloungedaroundanddonenothingforadayandahalf.

IagreenotonlywithMaggieThatcher,butwithGeorgeBernardShaw,myfavorite
playwright

IwanttobethoroughlyusedupwhenIdie,fortheharderIworkthemoreI
live.Irejoiceinlifeforitsownsake.Lifeisnobriefcandleforme.Itisasortof
splendidtorchwhichIhavegotholdofforthemoment,andIwanttomakeit
burnasbrightlyaspossiblebeforehandingitontofuturegenerations.

IknowthatIwantmylifetobeasplendidtorchthatburnslongandbrightly.Thats
whyIchoosetocommittotakingpersonalresponsibilityformylifeandcareersuccess.
Thiscareersuccesscoachisheretotellyouthatrevelinginhardworkisthebestwayto
createthelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.
Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeople
committotakingpersonalresponsibilityforcreatingthesuccessfullifeandcareerthey
wantanddeserve.TheyfollowtheadviceinTweet21inSuccessTweets.Theysethigh
goalsanddowhateverittakestoaccomplishthem.Theyreactpositivelytothe
peopleandeventsintheirlivesespeciallythenegativepeopleandevents.Theyrelish
thedayswhentheyhavealottodo,andthengoonanddoit.Theygetgreat
satisfactionfromworkinghardandseeingtheresultsoftheirlabor.Whenwasthelast
daywhenyouweretrulybusy?Howdidyoufeelattheendofit?Ifyoureanachiever
someonewhoiscommittedtoyourlifeandcareersuccessIbetyoufeltexhilarated
andreadytogothenextday.ThatshowIfeltafteraverylongdaylastFriday.

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Succe ssTweet 22

SetandachieveS.M.A.R.T.goals.S.M.A.R.T.goalsareSpecific,Measureable,
Achievable,RelevantandTimeBound.

OutstandingperformancebeginswithS.M.A.R.T.goals.ThesegoalsareSpecific,
Measurable,Achievable,ResultsOriented,andTimeSpecified.

SpecificYourgoalsshouldbetargeted,notbroadandgeneral.They
shouldbeunambiguousandexplicit.

MeasurableYoushouldbeabletotellquicklyandeasilyifyouvemet
yourgoal.Developasetofcriteriathatwillbeindicativeofsuccessor
failureinmeetingeachofyourgoals.

AchievableSetgoalsthatarechallengingbutnotincrediblydifficultto
achieve.Achallenginggoalismotivating,animpossibleoneis
demotivating.

ResultsOrientedFocusonresults;avoidtheactivitytrap.Yourgoals
shouldfocusontheresultsyouwanttoachieve,nottheactivitiesyouwill
undertaketogetthere.Forexample,improvedpresentationskillsisa
result;participatinginapresentationskillstrainingprogramisan
activity.Itspossibletocompleteactivitiesandnotachievethedesired
result.

TimeSpecifiedSetdeadlinesforachievingyourgoals.Welldeveloped
goalscomewithtimelimits.

OnceyouhavedevelopedasetofS.M.A.R.T.goals,youneedtoworkthem.Hereare
someideasforaccomplishingyourgoalsandbecominganoutstandingperformer:

Writeyourgoals.Peoplewhotakethetimetowritetheirgoals
accomplishthemmorefrequentlythanpeoplewhodont.

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 Keepyourgoalswithyouinyourwallet,onaclipboard,onyourscreen
saver.Inthisway,theyllbeaconstantreminderofwhatyouaregoing
toachieve.

Listatleastonereasonyouwanttoachieveeachgoal.Thesereasons
willhelpyoustayfocusedwhenyougettiredandfrustratedandbegin
askingyourselfquestionslike,WhyamIworkingsohardonthis?

Shareyourgoalswithpeoplewithwhomyouareclose.Thesefolkscan
beabighelpinachievingyourgoals.Goalsbecomemorerealwhenyou
sharethemwithothers.Goalsthatyoudontsharearemerely
aspirations.

Talkaboutyourgoalsatsocialandnetworkingfunctions.Thehelpyou
needtoachieveoneormoreofyourgoalscancomefromsome
surprisingplaces.Youneverknowwhomightbetheonepersonwhocan
offertheassistanceittakesforyoutogetoverthetopononeormoreof
yourgoals.

Focusonyourgoalsseveraltimesaday.Askyourself,IswhatImdoing
rightnowhelpingmeachieveoneofmygoals?Iftheanswerisno,stop
whatyouredoinganddosomethingthatwillhelpyoureachyourgoals.

Staybalancedbycreatinggoalsinallareasofyourlife:career,business,
personal,family,hobbies,health.Thesegoalswillhelpguideyouto
whereyouwanttogo.

Havecongruentgoals.Makesureyourgoalsarecongruentwithone
another.Conflictinggoalscreateunduestress.Ifyouhaveaworkor
careergoalthatisgoingtotakeup60to80hoursaweekofyourtime,it
willbeprettydifficulttorealizeagoalofrunningamarathon.Yousimply
wonthavetimetotrain.

Considerthesacrificeswhatyoumighthavetoforegoorgiveupin
ordertoreachyourgoals.Thiscouldbethingslikefamilyorhobbytime.
Askyourselfquestionslike,Isthisgoalimportantenoughformetogive
uptimewithmykidsormyweeklyyogaclass?

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Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplefollow
theadviceinTweet22inSuccessTweets.SetandachieveS.M.A.R.T.goals.S.M.A.R.T.
goalsareSpecific,Measureable,Achievable,RelevantandTimeBound.Onceyouset
S.M.A.R.T.goals,workthem.Focusonthem.Dowhateverittakestoachievethem.
SettingandachievingS.M.A.R.T.goalsissomeofmybestcareeradvice.

65
Succe ssTweet 23

Goalsareimportant.Youcantgetwhatyouwantifyoudontknowwhereyoure
going.

Ifyouwanttosucceed,youmustcommittothreethings.First,youmusttakepersonal
responsibilityforyoursuccess.Onlyyoucanmakeyouasuccess.Youneedtobe
willingtodothethingsnecessarytosucceed.Second,youmustsethighgoalsand
thendowhateverittakestoachievethem.Third,stuffhappens;asyougothroughlife
youwillencountermanyproblemsandsetbacks.Youneedtoreactpositivelytothe
negativestuffandmoveforwardtowardyourgoals.

Theotherday,Icameacrossasuccinctstatementongoalsettingandgoalachievement
fromDenisWaitley

Thesecrettoproductivegoalsettingisinestablishingclearlydefinedgoals,
writingthemdownandthenfocusingonthemseveraltimesadaywithwords,
picturesandemotionsasifwe'vealreadyachievedthem.

IreallylikewhatDenishastosay.Letsbreakitdown.

1. Yourgoalsneedtobeclear.
2. Yourgoalsneedtobewritten.
3. Youneedtofocusonyourgoalsseveraltimesaday.
4. Youneedtovisualizeyourselfachievingyourgoals.

CleargoalsfollowtheS.M.A.R.T.formula.TheyareSpecific,Measureable,Achievable,
RelevantandTimeBound.DoyourgoalspasstheS.M.A.R.T.test?Ifyouvewritten
them,itshouldbeprettyeasytoreviewthemtosee.

Heresagoalthatoneofmyfriendssharedwithmerecently.

Tobecomeamillionaire,sellingproductsontheInternet.

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LetsseehowwellitstacksuptotheS.M.A.R.T.test.

Specific?Reasonablyso.Thisguywantstobecomeamillionairebysellingproductson
theInternet.Thisgoalwouldbemorespecificifhehadspecifiedtheproductortypeof
producthewantstosell,andifheisgoingtodeveloptheproducthimself,orresell
othersproducts.

Measurable?Overallyes,ifhedefinesbeingamillionaireashavinganetworthofover
amilliondollars.

Achievable?Probably.Hesasmartguywhohasthedesire.And,heiscommittedto
thisgoal.Ithinkhecanachieveitifheworkshardandsmart.

Relevant?Forhim,yes.Theguydefinessuccessinmonetaryterms,sobecominga
millionaireiscertainlyarelevantgoalforhim.

TimeBound?No.Hehasntsetadatebywhenhisnetworthwillreachonemillion
dollars.

Notbadforafirsttry.HereshowIwouldmakethisgoalmoreS.M.A.R.T

Tobuildanetworthof$1,000,000bythetimeIam40bybeinganInternet
superaffiliatemarketer,resellingproductsintheselfhelpfield.

Specific?Very.Networthof$1,000,000;Internetaffiliatemarketer;resellingselfhelp
products.

Measurable?Yes.Hecancheckhisnetworthonhis40thbirthday.

Achievable?Likely,givensomehardworkandtenacity.

Relevant?Yes.Moneyishowhedefinessuccess.

TimeBound?Yes.His40thbirthdayisaharddeadline.

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Thiscareersuccesscoachsuggeststhatyoutakesometimetoreviewyourgoals.Make
themS.M.A.R.T.S.M.A.R.T.goalsarewrittenandclearthefirsttworecommendations
fromDenisWaitleywhenitcomestoaccomplishingyourgoals.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplesetand
achievehighgoals.TheyunderstandthepowerofTweet23inSuccessTweets.Goals
areimportant.Youcantgetwhatyouwantifyoudontknowwhereyouregoing.
Writtengoalsarethefirststepwhenitcomestolifeandcareersuccess.Sharpening
yourgoalsuntiltheyareclearandconciseisthesecondstep.Ifyoudonthavewritten
goalsforyourlife,andforthisyear,writesometonight.Thencheckthemagainstthe
S.M.A.R.T.criteria.MakesureyourgoalsareSpecific,Measureable,Achievable,
RelevantandTimeBound.Ifyoutakejustthesetwostepsyoullbewellaheadinthe
careersuccessgame.

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Succe ssTweet 24

Focusonyourgoalsseveraltimesaday.Spendyourvaluabletimeonthethingsthat
willhelpyouachievethem.

StephenCoveylaysoutthemostelegantlysimpleapproachtotimemanagementthat
Iveeverseen.Hesaysthatyoucangroupalltasksintooneoffourcategories:

NotImportantandNotUrgent
NotImportantandUrgent
ImportantandUrgent
ImportantandNotUrgent

Urgenttasksaredeadlinebased.Theyareusuallyimposedbysomeoneotherthanyou.
Thesoonerthetaskneedstobecompleted,themoreurgentitis.Importanceis
independentofurgency.Importanttasksarethosethatyouneedtocompleteto
achieveyourgoals.

Forme,writingthisblogisanimportantandurgenttask.Ihavecommittedtoposting
everyday,MondaythroughFriday.Thatmakesiturgent.Also,thisblogismyprimary
marketingvehicle.Thatmakesitimportant.Lifewouldbegreatifeverytaskwith
whichwearefacedwerethissimple.

Notimportantandnoturgenttasksareeasytoforgo.Iftheyareneitherimportant,nor
urgent,Isimplyignorethem.

Ontheotherhand,mostofusarebombardedwithtasksthatarenotimportant,but
urgent.Oftenthesetaskscomefromourboss.JustreadDilbertforaweektosee
whatImean.Itisdifficulttorefusemanyofthesetasks.However,peoplewhomanage
theirtimewellhavetheabilitytodoso.

WhenIamfacedwithsuchatask,Ialwayssay,Iwasplanningondoingthistoday.I
amhappytodropwhatIwasdoingandworkonyourrequest,butIwantyoutoknow

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thatIwillhavetopushbackthecompletingoftheotherproject.Sometimes,my
bosseshavesaid,Thatsfine.Onotheroccasions,theyhaveinstructedmetofocuson
theurgenttaskthatseemsunimportanttome.

Heresanexample.Manyyearsago,Iwasworkingforalargecompany.Iwasinthe
TrainingandDevelopmentDepartment.Iwasworkingondesigningthecurriculumfora
salesmanagerworkshop.Mybossesbosscametomeandsaid,Wehavesome
importantvisitorsfromJapanheretoday.Iwouldlikeyoutojointhemforlunch.Iwas
zonedinonthetrainingdesign.Ididntwanttospendtwoandahalfhoursatlunch
withguests.SoItoldhimthatIwasworkingonthesalesmanagercurriculumdesign
andaskedtobeexcusedfromthelunch.Hetoldmethatitwasimportantforustobe
goodhostsandthatIshouldmaketimeforthelunchsoIdid.Urgent,butnot
importantwonoutthatday.Andtherealityofeverydaylifeinmostcompaniesisthatit
oftenwill.

However,ratherthanbemoanthisfact,Idliketofocusonwhereyougetthemostbang
foryourtimebuckimportant,butnoturgenttasks.

Heresanexample.Writingbooksisveryimportanttome.Mybookshelpmeestablish
credibilitywithmycurrentandprospectiveclients.However,writingabookisatime
consumingactivity.IfImnotcarefulandbudgetmytimewell,itiseasytoletmybook
writingslipbecauseformewritingabookisanimportantbutnoturgenttask.Ineed
tokeepgettingmythoughtsouttherebutIalsohaveabusinesstorun.

Ifyouveneverdoneit,whenyourunasmallbusiness,youarefacedwithaseriesof
importantandurgenttasks.Butyouhavetomakethetimefortheimportant,butnot
urgenttasks.Because,ifyoudont,importantbutnoturgenttaskshaveawayof
becomingurgentandstillimportant.

OnceIfinishonebook,Iimmediatelybeginonanother.Asamatteroffact,Ihavefour
bookprojectsgoingrightnowallarewithcoauthors,whichcantakemoretimethan
writingabookonmyown.Cathyandseveralofmyfriendshavesaid,Giveitabreak,
youjustfinishedone,enjoyit.Dontgetstartedonanotherbooksosoon.My
responseisthatIwanttokeepthemomentumIvegainedandIknowthatwritinga
bookisanimportantbutnoturgenttaskthatisalltooeasytoputoff.

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Whileyouhavetodoimportantandurgenttasks,andsometimescantavoidnot
importantbuturgenttasks,yourcareersuccesswilldependonfindingthetimetofocus
ontheimportantbutnoturgenttasks.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplefollow
thecareeradviceinTweet24inSuccessTweets:Focusonyourgoalsseveraltimesa
day.Spendyourvaluabletimeonthethingsthatwillhelpyouachievethem.Allwork
canbedividedintooneoffourcategories:NotImportantandNotUrgent,Not
ImportantandUrgent,ImportantandUrgent,ImportantandNotUrgent.Maketimefor
theimportant,butnoturgenttasks.Thatswhereyoullgetthemostoutofyourmost
preciousandnonrenewableresourceyourtime.Andthatswhereyoullbegin
achievingyourgoals.Rememberthiscareeradvice.Sometimesyoullbeforcedinto
doingnotimportantbuturgenttasks.Dispensewiththemasexpeditiouslyaspossible.
Makesureyoukeepupwithyourimportantandurgenttasks.Butalwaysmaketimefor
theimportantbutnoturgenttasks.

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Succe ssTweet 25

Listthereasonsyousetforeachgoalyousetforyourself.Thesereasonswillcomein
handywhenyougettiredandfrustrated.

Acoupleofdaysago,ImentionedDenisWaitleysideasongoalachievement.

1. Yourgoalsneedtobeclear.
2. Yourgoalsneedtobewritten.
3. Youneedtofocusonyourgoalsseveraltimesaday.
4. Youneedtovisualizeyourselfachievingyourgoals.

Listingthereasonsforyourgoalscanhelpyouwithvisualization.Thisisturnwillhelp
youwhenyougettiredandfrustrated.Tweet14says,Dontvisualizethepainof
failure,visualizetheeuphoriaofsuccess.Achievingagoalshouldbeaeuphoric
experience.Ifnot,youprobablydidntsetahighenoughgoal.

Ifyouwantajobwithaspecificcompany,listthereasonswhyyouwanttoworkforthat
company,thenvisualizeyourselfshowingupatworkthefirstdayandenteringyour
newoffice.Ifyouwantapromotion,listthereasonsyouwantitandthenvisualize
yourselfreadingthecongratulatoryemailsfromyourfriendswhentheyreadthe
announcementofyourpromotion.Ifyouwanttostartyourownbusiness,listthe
reasonsforstartingabusinessandthenvisualizeyourselfdepositingyourfirstcheck.If
youwanttomarrythewoman(orman)ofyourdreams,listthereasonsyouwantto
marrythatparticularpersonandthenvisualizeyourselfonyourweddingdayand
honeymoon.

Listingthereasonsforeachofyourgoalsandthencreatingavividmentalimageofthe
euphoriayoullfeelwhenyouaccomplishthemisagreatwaytokeepyougoingwhen
youarestrugglingwithagoal.

IusedtoworkforMarathonOilCompany.MyjobwithMarathonwasmyfirstbusiness
job.Priortothat,Ihadbeenworkingingovernment.ImetmyfutureMarathonbossat
anASTDconventioninAtlanta.Heinvitedmetocompanyheadquarterstointerview.I
arrivedtherethenightbeforeIwasscheduledtohaveafulldayofinterviews.Ihadthe

72
namesandtitlesofthepeoplewithwhomIwouldinterview.Ihadonebigreasonfor
wantingthisjobitwasmytickettoacareerinbusiness,asteppingstonetocreating
myownbusinessoneday.

Thatnight,beforeIwenttobed,Ivisualizedmyselfonmyfirstdayofworkthere.Ialso
visualized(andrehearsed)whatIwouldsaytoeachofthepeoplewithwhomIwould
interviewthenextday.Thisvisualizationandrehearsalhelpedmerelaxduringthe
interviews.IkepttheimageofmeonmyfirstdayatworkforMarathoninmindasI
interviewed.Igotthejob.Iwaseuphoric.

ManyofthenaysayersinmylifetoldmethatsinceIhadworkedingovernmentforfive
yearsaftercollegeIwouldbeunlikelytogetajobinbusiness.Iprovedthemwrong
becauseofmyveryimportantreasonforwantingthejob,myvisualizationofmysuccess
andbecauseofmypreparation.IknewmoreaboutMarathonOilCompanythanmany
ofthepeoplewhointerviewedme.

ThesedaysIvisualizemyselfasasuccessfulInternetentrepreneur.Iworkinmyhome
office,creatingnewinformationproductsthatIsellonline.Iseebignumbersinmy
PayPalaccount.Myreasonissimple.Iwanttospendmoretimeathome,withCathy
anddoingallofthethingsIliketodoinbeautifulColorado.Iwanttospendlesstimeon
planesandinhotels.

Whatareyourreasonsforeachofyourgoalsthatwillleadtoyourcareersuccess?Are
theyreallyimportanttoyou?Doyouhaveaclearvisionofyouachievingthesegoals?
Arethesementalimagessharp,clearandvividoraretheyfuzzyandoutoffocus?If
itsthelatter,sharpenthemup.Createareallyvividmentalimageofyouachieving
eachofthegoalsyouvesetforyourself.Usethereasonsforsettingthesegoalsinthe
firstplaceasaplacetostart.AsIvementionedinotherblogpostsandinseveralofmy
careersuccesscoachbooks,visualizationisntdaydreaming.Itsimportantworkthat
willhelpyoubecomethelifeandcareersuccessyoudeservetobe.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointissimple.Successfulpeoplefollowthe
careeradviceinTweet25inSuccessTweets:Listthereasonsyousetforeachgoalyou
setforyourself.Thesereasonswillcomeinhandywhenyougettiredandfrustrated.
Asacareersuccesscoach,Imheretotellyouthatyouwillgetfrustratedasyoupursue
yourgoals.Yourreasonsforeachgoalwillhelpyoubettervisualizetheeuphoriaof
achievingit.Ifyoucanvividlyimaginetheeuphoriaassociatedwithachievingyourlife

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andcareergoals,youllbewellonyourwaytoachievingthem.Visualizationmakesit
easiertodotheworkwhenthingsarenotgoingwell.Thereasonsforeachofyourgoals
helpyoucreateclearandvividimagesofyouasasuccess.

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Succe ssTweet 26

Keepyourgoalswithyouinyourwallet,oronyourscreensaver.Theywillbea
constantreminderofwhatyouwillachieve.

Noticethelasttwowordsinthetweetwillachieve.Ididntsay,hopetoachieve,
orwanttoachieve,orworseyet,trytoachieve.Isaid,willachieve.Will
achieveisapositive,proactivestatementthatreinforcesyourvisualizationofyour
careersuccess.Asthetweetsuggests,keepingyourgoalscloseathandisaconstant
reminderofwhatyouwillachieve.Thinkingintermsofwillachieveratherthanhope
toachieve,wanttoachieve,ortrytoachieveisasolidpieceofcareeradvice.

Theotherday,IsawaquotefromJohnWooden,legendarycollegebasketballcoach,
andtheauthorofseveralbooksonlifeandcareersuccess.Thiscareersuccesscoach
hasthemallinhislibrary.CoachWoodenssuccesspyramidisatrulycomprehensive
lookathowtobecomethelifeandcareersuccessyoudeservetobe.

Hereisthequote

"IamnotasgoodasIoughttobe.IamnotasgoodasIwanttobe.Iamnotas
goodasI'mgoingtobe.ButIamthankfulthatIambetterthanIusedtobe."

NoticethatCoachWoodenusespositiveaffirmativelanguagewhenhesays,Iamnot
asgoodasImgoingtobe.Evenat99yearsold,hewasstillgrowing.

Keepingyourgoalswithyouisagreatwaytohelpyoubecomeasgoodasyouregoing
tobe.Foronething,keepingyourgoalsnearbymakesiteasyforyoutoreflectonthem
severaltimesadayseethepostIdidonthis.Foranother,keepingyourgoalswith
youmakesthempartofyou.

Ikeepmygoalsinmywallet.Theyreeasilyaccessible.Ipullthemoutandlookatthem
sooftenIusuallyhavetoprintasecondcopymidyear.Theoriginalstendtoget
creased,dirtyandthreadbarefromsomuchfoldingandunfolding.Havingmygoalsin
mywalletinmyrightfrontpantspocketeverydaymakesthemseemmorerealtome.
ReviewingthemacoupleoftimesadaymotivatesmetodotheworkIneedtodoto
accomplishthem.

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AsIoftenamwhenIwritetheseblogposts,Imonaplane.Ijustwroteallofthis
weeksposts.ThenItookaminutetostretchandreviewmygoals.Oneofthosegoals
istocreateamembershipsiteusingSuccessTweetsandtheseblogpostsaspartofthe
content.ThesoonerIwriteall140blogposts,thesoonerIllbeabletoputupmy
membershipsite.Thesoonerthemembershipsitegoesup,thesoonerIllbehelping
morepeopletakeadvantageofmycareersuccesscoachthoughtsandideas.Just
reviewingmygoalsgavemetheenergytokeepwriting,insteadofreadingforthelast
houroftheflight.

Seehowthisworks?Firstofall,bethankfulforbeingbetterthanyouwere;believethat
youwillbebetterthanyouare.Useyourgoalsthethingsyouwillachievetoinspire
youtodotheworknecessarytobecomebetterthanyouare,andtobecomethelife
andcareersuccessyoudeservetobe.Prettygoodcareeradvice,ifIdosaysomyself.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplesetand
achievehighgoals.Goalsareyourpromisetoyourselfthatyouwillbecomebetterthan
youare.IfyoufollowtheadviceinTweet26inSuccessTweetsKeepyourgoalswith
youinyourwallet,oronyourscreensaver.Theywillbeaconstantreminderofwhat
youwillachieveyouwillbemorelikelytoachieveyourgoals,becomebetterthan
youare,andcreatethelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.Ikeepmygoalsin
mywallet,andlookatthematleastacoupleoftimesaday.Trythiscareersuccess
coachadvice.Youllbesurprisedathowmuchyoucanaccomplish.

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Succe ssTweet 27

Creategoalsinallareasofyourlife:career,personal,business,family,hobbies,health
andfitness.Makesuretheyarecongruent.

SinceIamselfemployed,mycareerandbusinessgoalsoverlap.Ihavepersonalgoals
thatoverlapwithmyhealthandfitness.Bikingandreadingaremyhobbies.Ihave
goalsforthemtoo.Mymostimportantgoalistobealovingandsupportivehusband.

Mycareerandbusinessgoalsfocusonhelpingotherssucceed,gettingmycareer
successcoachmessageoutinasmanydifferentwaysasIpossiblycan,andmaking
enoughmoneytoletmetravellessandworkfromhomemore.

Ihavelostquiteabitofweightinrecentyears.Mypersonalandhealthgoalsfocuson
maintainingthatweightlossandlosingevenmore.Ihavealongtermgoalofdoinga
metriccenturybikeride(62miles)in2011.Ihaveanothergoaltorereadseveralof
Tolstoysworksthisyear.

Ihavegoalsforourmarriageaswell.Mymarriagegoalsintersectwithmybusinessand
careergoals.ThemoretimeIspendathome,themoretimeIhavetodevotetoour
relationship.

Seehowthisworks?

Whataretheimportantpartsofyourlife?Doyouhavegoalsineachofthem?Are
thesegoalscongruent?EventhoughIamacareersuccesscoach,Iurgeyoutospend
timethinkingaboutbothyourlifeandcareersuccess.Creategoalsinallpartsofyour
life.Makesurethesegoalsarecongruent.Youllbehappierandmorelikelyto
achievethecareersuccessyoudeservethisway.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
wellrounded.Theysetandachievegoalsinallfacetsoftheirlives.Whatarethe
importantpartsofyourlife?Doyouhavegoalsforeachofthem?Ifnot,createsome.
FollowtheadviceinTweet27inSuccessTweets:Creategoalsinallareasofyourlife:
career,personal,business,family,hobbies,healthandfitness.Makesuretheyare
congruent.Payparticularattentiontobeingcongruent.Yourgoalsneedto
complementoneanother.Iftheydont,youllfindyourselftryingtojugglecompeting

77
priorities.Thisisdifficultatbest,andoftenleadstofailureonseveralfronts.Congruent
goalsontheotherhandwillcomplementoneanotherandleadtoyourlifeandcareer
success.

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Succe ssTweet 28

Writeyourgoals.Sharethemwithothers.Youaremorelikelytoachievegoalsthat
youwriteandshare.

Accountabilityisthekeycareeradvicehere.Whenyouwriteyourgoalsandsharethem
withothersyouarechoosingaccountability.

Writingyourgoalsdemonstratesyouraccountabilitytoyourself.Writtengoalsarereal
andtangible.Goalsthatyoukeepinyourheadmostoftenarefuzzyandpoorlydefined,
littlemorethanwishes.

Takingthetimetowriteyourgoals,andthenmakingthemS.M.A.R.T.(seemyrecent
post)putssomerigorintothegoalsettingprocess.Youendupwithasetofwell
definedgoalsonwhichyoucanbuildyourcareersuccess.

Sharingyourgoalswithothersclosetoyouisanotherwayofchoosingaccountability.
Whenyoushareyourgoals,youaremakingapublicstatementaboutwhatyouare
goingtoaccomplish.Thismakesyoumorelikelytodotheworknecessarytoachieve
them.

Letmegiveyouanexample.Ihavemadeabigefforttoimprovemylevelofhealthand
fitnessinrecentyears.Afewyearsago,Isetaweightlossgoal.Isharedthisgoalwith
severalofmyfriends,especiallythosewhoarecommittedtotheirownhealthand
fitness.

Oneofthesepeopleisoneofmyclients.Iwasvisitinghisofficeoneday.Therewasa
bigplatterofoatmealraisincookiesleftoverfromameetingsittinginanopenarea
nearhisoffice.Aswepassedthecookies,Itookone.Iwasbeginningtotakeabite
whenheturnedtomeandsaid,Doyoureallywantthat?

Inthemoment,Ireallydid.Butinthegreaterschemeofthingsandgivenmyhealthand
fitnessgoal,Ireallydidntwanttobeeatingcookiesinthemiddleoftheafternoon.I
tossedthecookieintothetrash.

Sharingmyhealthandfitnessgoalwiththisguyhelpedmeachieveit.Byaskingmea
simplequestion,Doyoureallywantthat?hehelpedmemakeprogresstowardmy

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goal.Hehelpedmefightthetemptationtodosomethingthatrancountertoachieving
mygoal.Butremember,heneverwouldhaveaskedmethequestionifIhadnotfirst
sharedmyhealthandfitnessgoalwithhim.Thisisoneofthebasicideasbehindthe
WeightWatchersprogram.Thisworksforgoalsinallareasofyourlifeandcareer.

Heresanotherexample.IwashavingaconversationwithDougWestmoreland,kingof
motivationalvideos.HeandIweretalkingaboutemaillistbuilding.ImentionedthatI
haveagoalofgrowingmysubscriberlist.Dougaskedafewquestions,madeafew
suggestionsandthensaidsomethingreallyprofound.Bud,youreagreatguy,yougive
lotsofvaluetoyoursubscribers.Itsabouttimethatyoubeginofferingthemthe
opportunitytoreciprocatebymakingproductsavailableforsaleinyourelectronic
correspondencewiththem.

Dougscommentwasreallyhelpful.HegotmetorethinkhowIcommunicatewithmy
subscribers.IneverwouldhavereceivedthisgreatadviceifIhadntsharedoneofmy
goalswithhim.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplesetand
achievehighgoals.TheyfollowtheadviceinTweet28inSuccessTweets.Writeyour
goals.Sharethemwithothers.Youaremorelikelytoachievegoalsthatyouwriteand
share.Ihavefoundthatwritingyourgoalsandsharingthemwithothersaretwoof
thebestwaystoensurethatyouachievethem.Bothofthesesimpleactionsincrease
yourpersonalaccountabilityforachievingyourgoals.Whenyouwriteyourgoals,they
becomemorerealforyou.Whenyousharethem,youinviteotherstohelpyouachieve
them.Youbuildasupportnetworkthatcankeepyouontrackandmovingforwardin
creatingthecareersuccessyoudeserve.

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Succe ssTweet 29

Aimhigh.Setandachievehighgoalsmonthaftermonth,andyearafteryear.Do
whateverittakestoachieveyourgoals.

Thispostismoreaboutgoalachievementthangoalsetting.Youknowthatyouneedto
setgoalsinallpartsofyourlife.YouknowyouneedtosetS.M.A.R.T.goals.Youknow
thatyouneedtobreakyourgoalsintomanageablemilestones.Youknowthatyouneed
tokeepyourgoalswithyou.Youknowthatyouneedtowriteyourgoalsandshare
themwithothers.Allofthisisagreatstart.However,itsjustthestart.

Successfulpeopledowhateverittakestoachievetheirgoals.Thistakescommitment
andtenacity.Itmeansworkingtowardsyourgoalswhenyouaretired.Itmeansnot
givingupinthefaceofproblemsandsetbacks.Itmeansdoingwhatneedstobedone,
notwhatyouwanttodo,orfeellikedoing.

ThisremindsmeofoneofmyfavoritequotesfromMalcolmForbes

Diamondsarenothingmorethanchunksofcoalthatstucktotheirjobs.

Ittakesthousandsofyearsandtremendousamountsofpressuretoturncoalinto
diamonds.Whileyoudontneedtospendthousandsofyearscreatingthesuccessful
lifeandcareeryouwantanddeserve,youdohavetostickwithit.Ifyougiveupevery
timeyourunintoaproblem,setback,orroadblock,youllneverbecomeadiamond.If
youcanttakethepressure,youllneverbecomeadiamond.Youhavetosticktoitand
bearupunderthepressure.Itdoesnttakeacareersuccesscoachtotellyouthatyou
needtobepersistentifyouregoingtoachieveyourgoals.

IamafanofLindseyVonn,anOlympicgoldmedalwinningalpineskierwhomakesher
homeinVail;soshesalocalasfarasImconcerned.Sheisthemostsuccessful
AmericanwomanskierinWorldCuphistory.

Shes26yearsoldandhasbeenskiingfor24ofthoseyears.Shemovedawayfrom
homeandherfamilyatayoungagetopursueherdreamofbeingaworldclassskier.
Shestartedskiingcompetitivelyatsevenandcompetinginternationallywhenshewas
nine.Sheisdevotedtohersport.

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CheckoutwhatLindsayVonnsaysaboutgoingforyourgoals

Whenyoufalldown,justgetupagain.Ifyoufall,getupstronger,hungrier,
moreambitious.Setbackshelpyouconcentrate.Whensuccessfallsintoyour
lap,youlosesightofyourgoals.

Shefellhardearlierthisyearandhadaterriblebonebruiseonherarm.Shedidntmiss
anevent.ShehadaterribleinjuryjustpriortotheOlympicsandstillwonthegold
medalinthedownhillthemostprestigiousskiingeventinthe2010WinterGames.

ItellmycareersuccesscoachclientsthatLindseyVonnissomeonewhocanbelikened
toalumpofcoalthathasturnedintoadiamondbecauseshesstucktoherjob.
Rememberherstorythenexttimeyoufeellikegivinguponyourgoalsandyour
dreams.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeople
committotakingpersonalresponsibilityfortheirlivesandcareers.Theyfollowthe
careeradviceinTweet29inSuccessTweets.Aimhigh.Setandachievehighgoals
monthaftermonth,andyearafteryear.Dowhateverittakestoachieveyourgoals.
Youcanbeginachievingyourcareersuccessgoalsbytakingpersonalresponsibilityfor
yourlifeandcareersuccess.Dowhateverittakestosucceed.Stickwithitwhenthe
pressuregetsstrong.Dowhateverittakestoachievethelifeandcareersuccessgoals
yousetforyourself.Respondpositivelytothenegativepeopleandeventsinyourlife.
RememberwhatMalcolmForbeshastosayaboutsuccess:Diamondsarenothingmore
thanchunksofcoalthatstucktotheirjobs.Becomeadiamond.Stickwithit.Sethigh
goals,achievethem.Repeat.Repeat.Repeat.

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Successisajourney,notadestination.Whenyouaccomplishonegoal,reachhigher
andsetanewone.

YouveprobablyheardofMaslowsHierarchyofNeedsitsastapleinundergraduate
socialpsychology.Incaseyouhavent,orneedarefresher,hereisaquickrecap.

In1943,Dr.AbrahamMaslowwroteapapercalled,ATheoryofHumanMotivationin
whichhedescribedhisideasaboutwhatmotivateshumans.Hesuggestedthathuman
beingshaveaseriesofneedswhichwestrivetomeetandthatthebestwaytomotivate
someoneistoappealtotheneedmostrelevanttohimorheratagiventime.He
arrangedtheseneedsinapyramid.

Physiologicalorsurvivalneedslikebreathing,food,waterandsleepareatthebaseof
thepyramid.Dr.Maslowsuggestedthatuntilthesebasicsurvivalneedsaremet,
humanbeingswillnotbemotivatedbyanyotherneeds.

Safetyandsecurityneedsarethenextuponthepyramid.Dr.Maslowsuggeststhat
oncepeoplefeelthattheywillsurvivetoday,theywillbemotivatedbytheneedto
survivetomorrow,thenextdayandinthelongterm.

Loveandbelongingneedsarenext.Dr.Maslowsuggeststhatoncehumanbeings
experienceareasonablelevelofsecurity,theirneedsturntodevelopingfriendshipand
familyrelations.

Esteemneedsarenext.Oncepeoplefeelsecureandloved,Dr.Maslowsaysthatthey
seekgratificationthatcomesfromachievement,selfrespectandtherespectofothers.

Selfactualizationneedsareatthetopofthepyramid.Dr.Maslowoftendescribedself
actualizationasbeingallthatonecanbe.Andtherefore,onecanneverbetrulyself
actualized.Dr.Maslowsuggestedthatselfactualizationisthepursuitofperfection.In
otherwords,onceyouaccomplishsomethingthatyoupreviouslythoughtofasthe
pinnacle,youwillfindthatthereismorethatyoucanaccomplish.Thisisinkeeping
withTweet30whichsuggeststhatbecomingselfactualizedisaprocessinwhichyouset
newandhighergoalswheneveryouaccomplishoneofyourgoals.

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ThatswhyIsaythatsuccessisajourney,notadestination.Successfulpeoplesee
themselvesasworksinprogress.Successfulpeopleareneverfinishedbecomingallthat
theycanbe.Ifyouwantthelifeandcareersuccessyoudeserve,youneedtothinkof
yourselfthisway.

Imnotsuggestingthatyoutakenotimetocelebrateyoursuccessesandlookbackat
themwithpride.Iamsayinghowever,thatifyouwanttobuildlongtermcareer
success,youwilluseyoursuccessesasspringboardstobiggerandbetterthings.

Setnewgoals.Developplansforachievingthesenewgoals.Workyourplans.And
thendoitagain.Thinkofyourselfassomeonewhoisbecomingnotassomeonewho
iscomplete.Successfulpeoplerealizethattherearealwaysnewchallengesand
opportunities.SomeofthebestcareeradviceIeverreceivedwasfromanearlymentor
whotoldmetoseebeyondthehorizon,tokeepactivelylookingfornewwaystolearn,
growandsucceed.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplenever
stoplearningandgrowing.TheyfollowtheadviceinTweet30inSuccessTweets.
Successisajourney,notadestination.Whenyouaccomplishonegoal,reachhigher
andsetanewone.Thisistheideaembodiedintheconceptofselfactualization;you
canneverbeallthatyoucanbebecausetherewillalwaysbenewchallengesahead.
Settingandachievingeverincreasinglydifficultgoalsisthebestwaytoliveafulfilling
lifeandtocreatethecareersuccessyoudeserve.Keeplearning,keepgrowing,keep
achieving,andyouwillsucceedbeyondyourwildestdreams.

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Planhowyouwillachieveyourgoals.Thendowhateveryouhavetodo,notwantor
feellikedoing,toachievethem.

Yourgoalswontgetdonejustbecauseyouvewrittenthem.Commonsensecareer
advicesaysthatyouhavetoworkyourgoals.Therearetwostepshere.First,planhow
youwillachieveeachofyourgoals.Second,workyourplan.Youcanhaveallofthe
goodintentionsintheworld,butifyoudontplanhowyouwillachieveyourgoalsand
thenworkyourplan,youwillnotachievethelifeandcareersuccessyouwantand
deserve.

GaryRyanBlair,TheGoalsGuy,andauthorofagreatlittlebookcalledEverything
Countsmakesanimportantpointabouttheimportanceofworkingyourgoals

Goodintentions,whilehonorable,areoflittleusewhenyouletweeks,months,
andyearsofpotentialandpossibilityslipby.

Garyhasaweeklyritualofreflecting,reviewingandupdatinghisgoals.Hesaidthatthis
ritualhasallowedhimtocontinuetogrowandmakesignificantperformancegainsfor
twelvestraightyearswithoutmissingabeat.

Checkitout.

EverySundaynight,orMondaymorning,isolateonegoalandaskyourselfthefollowing
fivequestions:

1.Whataremycurrentyeartodateresultsinrelationtothisgoal?

2.Whathasgonerightsofarthisyear?Why?Identifystrengthsandstrategies
torepeat.

3.Whathasgonewrongsofarthisyear?Why?Identifyweaknessesand
strategiestodrop.

4.WhatcorrectiveactionswillIimmediatelyimplementtoremainontarget?

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 5.WhatwillIcommittodoingthisweektoensurethatIwillmeetorachievethis
goal?

Ilovethisexercise.IhavecommittedtodoingiteveryMondaymorning.Ibegantoday.
Asacareersuccesscoach,Iencourageyoutodothesame.Givethisexercisethetime
andattentionitdeserves,andasGarysays,youwillhavepositionedyourselfforhaving
abreakthroughweek.

Tweet31inSuccessTweetsprovidessomenononsensecareersuccesscoachadvice.It
saysdowhateveryouhavetodo,notwantorfeellikedoing,toachievethem.Gary
RyanBlair,theGoalsGuy,providesagreatexercisetohelpyoustayontargetandmove
aheadtowardachievingyourgoals.Evenifyoudontfeellikereviewingoneofyour
goalseveryweek,Isuggestyoudoit.Thisiscommonsensecareeradvice.Themore
youfocusonyourgoals,themorelikelyyouaretoachievethem.

ThereisaJapaneseproverbthatIlikeandisappropriatehere

Visionwithoutactionisadaydream.Actionwithoutvisionisanightmare.

Nomatterhowbig,yourgoals,plans,thoughtsanddreamswillneverbecomeareality
untilyouactonthem.Youhavetocommittotakingpersonalresponsibilityfor
achievingyourgoalsandforcreatingthelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.
Andactionisthesinglemostimportantwordwhenitcomestodemonstratingyour
commitment.

Ontheotherhand,actionwithoutvisiontrulyisanightmare.Youllnevergetwhere
youwanttogoifyoudonthaveaclearideaofexactlywhatyouwanttoachieve.
Thatswhyyouhavetosetgoals.Yourgoalsareyourvisionforthecareersuccessyou
willcreate.

Goalsgiveyoudirectionandfocus.Actionmakesyourgoalsareality.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplefollow
thecareeradviceinTweet31inSuccessTweets.Planhowyouwillachieveyourgoals.
Thendowhateveryouhavetodo,notwantorfeellikedoing,toachievethem.Goals
arethefoundationofyoursuccess.Youneedtodotwothingstoachieveyourgoals.
First,createaplan.Second,implementyourplan;dowhateveryouhavetodoto
achieveyourgoals.GaryRyanBlair,TheGoalsGuy,suggestsfocusingononeofyour

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goalseveryweek.Figureouthowwellyouredoingonthisonegoal.Thencommitto
doingthethingsnecessarytomoveyouclosertoachievingit.Ifyourotatethrough
yourgoals,oneweekatatime,youllbemovingintherightdirection.Youllbeonthe
roadtocreatingthelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.Thistechnique
works.Takeitfromacareersuccesscoachwhousesit.

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Stuffhappensasyougoaboutcreatingasuccessfullifeandcareer.Choosetorespond
positivelytothenegativestuffthathappens.

Itssimple,really.Successisalluptoyou,andme,andanyoneelsewhowantsit.We
allhavetotakepersonalresponsibilityforourownsuccess.Iamtheonlyonewhocan
makemeacareersuccess.Youaretheonlyonewhocanmakeyouacareersuccess.

Stuffhappens:goodstuff,badstuff,frustratingstuff,unexpectedstuff.Successful
peoplerespondtothestuffthathappensinapositiveway.Humansaretheonly
animalswithfreewill.Thatmeansweyouandmegettodecidehowwereactto
everysituationthatcomesup.Thatswhytakingpersonalresponsibilityforyourselfand
choosingtorespondpositivelytothenegativestuffthathappenstoyouissoimportant.

Personalresponsibilitymeansrecognizingthatyouareresponsibleforyourlifeandthe
choicesyoumake.Itmeansthatyourealizethatwhileotherpeopleandeventshavean
impactonyourlife,thesepeopleandeventsdontshapeyourlife.Whenyouaccept
personalresponsibilityforyourlife,youownuptothefactthathowyoureacttopeople
andeventsiswhatsimportant.Andyoucanchoosehowtoreacttoeverypersonyou
meetandeverythingthathappenstoyou.

Theconceptofpersonalresponsibilityisfoundinmostwritingsonsuccess.Stephen
CoveysfirsthabitinThe7HabitsofHighlyEffectivePeopleis,Beproactive.Ihavea
littlebookcalledDailyReflectionsforHighlyEffectivePeople,alsobyStephenCovey.
ItisoneofthemostreadbooksthatIhave.Ilikeitbecauseitprovidesalittlesnippet
ofadvicefromThe7HabitsofHighlyEffectivePeopleeveryday.

ThedailyreflectionforSeptember24goesdirectlytotheadviceinthistweet,andit
getstotheheartofpersonalresponsibilityandlifeandcareersuccess.

Itsnotreallywhathappenstous,butourresponsetowhathappenstousthat
hurtsus.Ofcourse,thingscanhurtphysicallyoreconomicallyandcancause
sorrow.Butourcharacter,ourbasicidentity,doesnothavetobehurtatall.In
fact,ourmostdifficultexperiencesbecomethecruciblesthatforgeour

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 characteranddeveloptheinternalpowers,thefreedomtohandledifficult
circumstancesinthefutureandtoinspireotherstodosoaswell.

Dr.Coveyprovidessomegreatcareeradvicehere.Wecantalwayschoosewhat
happenstous,butwecanchoosehowwereacttoboththepositiveandnegative
experienceswehaveaswegothroughlife.Successfulpeoplechoosetomake
lemonadeoutoflemons.Unsuccessfulpeoplechoosetocomplainaboutthebitter,tart
tasteofthelemonstheyarehanded.

Iknowthelemonsintolemonadelineisaclich.However,clichsbecomeclichs
becausetheyhaveanunderlyingtruth.Theimportantpointisthathumanbeingsare
blessedwithfreewill.Assuch,wecanchoosewhatwedoandhowwereacttothe
worldaroundus.Wecanchooseapositive,productivepath,orwecanchooseapathof
selfpityandinactionandhurtonlyourselvesintheend.

The7HabitsadviceforSeptember25carriesoninthesamevein

Proactivepeoplecancarrytheirownweatherwiththem.Whetheritrainsor
shinesmakesnodifferencetothem.Theyarevaluedriven;andiftheirvalueis
toproducegoodqualitywork,itisntafunctionofwhethertheweatheris
conducivetoitornot.

Ilovetheconceptofcarryingyourownweatherwithyou.Choosingtoreactpositively
tothenegativepeopleandeventsinyourlifeisthebestwaytocarryyourweather
andtotakepersonalresponsibilityforyourlifeandcareersuccess.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereisclear.Successfulpeopleknow
thattheycanchoosehowtheyrespondtoeveryonetheymeetandeverythingthat
happenstothem.Theyknowthatthedevilmademedoitisneveranaccurate
statement.Theyalsoknowthatnoonecanmakethemmad.Inshort,theyfollowthe
adviceinTweet32inSuccessTweets.Stuffhappensasyougoaboutcreatinga
successfullifeandcareer.Choosetorespondpositivelytothenegativestuffthat
happens.Ifyouwanttocreatethecareersuccessyoudeserve,rememberStephen
Coveysadvice.Carryyourweatherwithyou.Inthisway,whetheritrainsorshineson
theoutside,itwillbesunnyontheinside.Choosetoreactpositivelytothenegative
peopleyoumeet,andthenegativethingsthathappentoyou.Whenyoudo,youllfind

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thatyoullhavelessnegativethingshappeningandfewernegativepeopleenteringyour
life.

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Takepersonalresponsibilityforyoursuccess.Nooneisgoingtodoitforyou.Adopt
themotto,Ifitstobe,itsuptome.

Whenyoutakepersonalresponsibility,youeliminateblame,stopcomplaining,andstop
beingavictim.Youtakechargeofyourlife.Youdemonstrateyourcommitmentto
takingpersonalresponsibilityforyourcareersuccessbyrespondingpositivelytothe
peopleandeventsandeventsinyourlifeespeciallywhentheyarelessthanpositive.I
frequentlyofferthisadvicetomycareersuccesscoachclients.

Ihadanopportunitytotestmyselfonthisoneacoupleofmonthsago.Igotupvery
earlytopostmyblog.WhenIgottomyoffice,mycomputerwasfrozen.Icouldmove
thecursor,butcouldnotactuallyopenadocumentordoanythingelseforthat
matter.

IwasthefirstguyinlinewhentheGeekSquadopenedat8:30.MybuddyNatewas
there.Ishowedhimthemachineandexplainedtheproblem.Hefoundaminorvirus,
deletedafewfilesandsaidIwasgoodtogo.Iwenthome,andthemachineworked
foraboutahalfhour.IwentbacktotheGeekSquadandNateworkedontheproblem
forthesecondtime.

WhenIgotbacktomyoffice,Iwasabletoposttheblogandtogetmydailypodcastup
onthenet.Thenithappenedagain.Completelyfrozen,unabletoraisethevolumeto
listentothepodcast,closethepodcastapplication,oropenanyotherprogram.

IcalledNateandtoldhimIwouldbringthemachineinforafulldiagnosticandpaythe
24hourservicepremium.Igotbackinmycar,drovetotheGeekSquadanddropped
offthecomputer.

IhadbeenmeaningtoreadacoupleofnovelsIhadpickeduptheweekbefore.I
figuredmycomputerproblemspresentedanexcellentopportunitytospendthat
afternoonandthefollowingdaydoingjustthat.However,inthemiddleofallthis,I
realizedthatIwasbeingpresentedwithachallengetoseeifIcouldwalkmytalkwhen
itcomestoreactingpositivelytothenegativeeventsinmylife.Readingnovelsinstead
ofworkingwouldnotbedemonstratingmycommitmenttotakingpersonal

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responsibilityformycareersuccessevenifnooneelseknewIdblownoffadayanda
half.

IknewthatIcouldntdoeverythingIwantedtodowithmybackupcomputer.But
therewerethingsIcoulddo.IchosetofigureoutwhatIcouldaccomplishwithoutthe
useofmymainmachineandsetoutdoingit.Icouldstillwriteblogposts.Icouldstill
continuedevelopinglearningmodulesfortheCareerSuccessGPSSystem.ThatswhatI
didthosedays.Andthatsmycareersuccesscoachadvicetoyouwhenyouruninto
problems,dontcomplainaboutwhatyoucantdo,figureoutwhatyoucandoandthen
doit.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeople
committotakingpersonalresponsibilityfortheirlivesandcareers.Theychooseto
respondpositivelytothepeopleandeventsintheirlivesespeciallythenegative
peopleandtheunexpectedanduncontrollableproblems.Theykeepmovingforward.
Theydontgetdistractedintheirquesttocreatethesuccessfullifeandcareerthey
wantanddeserve.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinTweet33inSuccessTweets.Take
personalresponsibilityforyoursuccess.Nooneisgoingtodoitforyou.Adoptthe
motto,Ifitstobe,itsuptome.Haveyoucommittedtotakingpersonal
responsibilityforyourcareersuccess?Howdoyoureactwhenlifethrowsthose
inevitablecurveballsyourway?Doyouchoosetomoveforward,findingwaysaround
lifeslittleproblems?Asacareersuccesscoach,Ihopeso,becausethatsthechoice
thatwillputyouonthepathtocareersuccess.

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Treatfailuresasthetuitionyoupaytosucceed.Ifyouhaveasetback,choosetoreact
positivelyandlearnsomething,

Failuretrulyisthetuitionyoupayforsuccess.KatinaSolomonatOnLineCollege.orghas
createdalistof50FamouslySuccessfulPeopleWhoFailedatFirst.Thesepeople
comefromallwalksoflife.Buttheysharedonecharacteristicincommonthe
commitmenttotheirowncareersuccess.Katinahasgraciouslyallowedmetoposther
listhere

50FamouslySuccessfulPeopleWhoFailedatFirst

Noteveryonewho'sontoptodaygottherewithsuccessaftersuccess.Moreoftenthan
not,thosewhomhistorybestrememberswerefacedwithnumerousobstaclesthat
forcedthemtoworkharderandshowmoredeterminationthanothers.Nexttime
you'refeelingdownaboutyourcareerfailures,keepthesefiftyfamouspeopleinmind.
Remindyourselfthatsometimesfailureisthetuitionyoupayforyourcareersuccess.

BusinessGurus

Thesebusinessmenandthecompaniestheyfoundedaretodayknownaroundthe
world,butasthesestoriesshow,theirbeginningsweren'talwayssmooth.

1. HenryFord:WhileFordistodayknownforhisinnovativeassemblylineand
Americanmadecars,hewasn'taninstantsuccess.Infact,hisearlybusinesses
failedandlefthimbrokefivetimesbeforehefoundedthesuccessfulFordMotor
Company.
2. R.H.Macy:Mostpeoplearefamiliarwiththislargedepartmentstorechain,but
Macydidn'talwayshaveiteasy.Macystartedsevenfailedbusinessesbefore
finallyhittingbigwithhisstoreinNewYorkCity.
3. F.W.Woolworth:Somemaynotknowthisnametoday,butWoolworthwas
onceoneofthebiggestnamesindepartmentstoresintheU.S.Beforestarting
hisownbusiness,youngWoolworthworkedatadrygoodsstoreandwasnot
allowedtowaitoncustomersbecausehisbosssaidhelackedthesenseneeded
todoso.

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 4. SoichiroHonda:ThebilliondollarbusinessthatisHondabeganwithaseriesof
failuresandfortunateturnsofluck.HondawasturneddownbyToyotaMotor
Corporationforajobafterinterviewingforajobasanengineer,leavinghim
joblessforquitesometime.Hestartedmakingscootersofhisownathome,and
spurredonbyhisneighbors,finallystartedhisownbusiness.
5. AkioMorita:YoumaynothaveheardofMoritabutyou'veundoubtedlyheardof
hiscompany,Sony.Sony'sfirstproductwasaricecookerthatunfortunately
didn'tcookricesomuchasburnit,sellinglessthan100units.Thisfirstsetback
didn'tstopMoritaandhispartnersastheypushedforwardtocreateamulti
billiondollarcompany.
6. BillGates:Gatesdidn'tseemlikeashoeinforsuccessafterdroppingoutof
HarvardandstartingafailedfirstbusinesswithMicrosoftcofounderPaulAllen
calledTrafOData.Whilethisearlyideadidn'twork,Gates'laterworkdid,
creatingtheglobalempirethatisMicrosoft.
7. HarlandDavidSanders:PerhapsbetterknownasColonelSandersofKentucky
FriedChickenfame,Sandershadahardtimesellinghischickenatfirst.Infact,
hisfamoussecretchickenrecipewasrejected1,009timesbeforearestaurant
acceptedit.
8. WaltDisney:TodayDisneyrakesinbillionsfrommerchandise,moviesand
themeparksaroundtheworld,butWaltDisneyhimselfhadabitofarough
start.Hewasfiredbyanewspapereditorbecause,"helackedimaginationand
hadnogoodideas."Afterthat,Disneystartedanumberofbusinessesthat
didn'tlasttoolongandendedwithbankruptcyandfailure.Hekeptplugging
along,however,andeventuallyfoundarecipeforsuccessthatworked.

ScientistsandThinkers

Thesepeopleareoftenregardedassomeofthegreatestmindsofourcentury,butthey
oftenhadtofacegreatobstacles,theridiculeoftheirpeersandtheanimosityof
society.

9. AlbertEinstein:MostofustakeEinstein'snameassynonymouswithgenius,but
hedidn'talwaysshowsuchpromise.Einsteindidnotspeakuntilhewasfour
anddidnotreaduntilhewasseven,causinghisteachersandparentstothinkhe
wasmentallyhandicapped,slowandantisocial.Eventually,hewasexpelled
fromschoolandwasrefusedadmittancetotheZurichPolytechnicSchool.It
mighthavetakenhimabitlonger,butmostpeoplewouldagreethathecaught
onprettywellintheend,winningtheNobelPrizeandchangingthefaceof
modernphysics.

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 10. CharlesDarwin:Inhisearlyyears,Darwingaveuponhavingamedicalcareer
andwasoftenchastisedbyhisfatherforbeinglazyandtoodreamy.Darwin
himselfwrote,"Iwasconsideredbyallmymastersandmyfather,avery
ordinaryboy,ratherbelowthecommonstandardofintellect."Perhapsthey
judgedtoosoon,asDarwintodayiswellknownforhisscientificstudies.
11. RobertGoddard:Goddardtodayishailedforhisresearchandexperimentation
withliquidfueledrockets,butduringhislifetimehisideaswereoftenrejected
andmockedbyhisscientificpeerswhothoughttheywereoutrageousand
impossible.Today,rocketsandspacetraveldon'tseemfarfetchedatall,due
largelyinparttotheworkofthisscientistwhoworkedagainstthefeelingsofthe
time.
12. IsaacNewton:Newtonwasundoubtedlyageniuswhenitcametomath,buthe
hadsomefailingsearlyon.Heneverdidparticularlywellinschoolandwhenput
inchargeofrunningthefamilyfarm,hefailedmiserably,sopoorlyinfactthatan
uncletookchargeandsenthimofftoCambridgewherehefinallyblossomed
intothescholarweknowtoday.
13. Socrates:Despiteleavingnowrittenrecordsbehind,Socratesisregardedasone
ofthegreatestphilosophersoftheClassicalera.Becauseofhisnewideas,inhis
owntimehewascalled"animmoralcorrupterofyouth"andwassentencedto
death.Socratesdidn'tletthisstophimandkeptrighton,teachingupuntilhe
wasforcedtopoisonhimself.
14. RobertSternberg:ThisbignameinpsychologyreceivedaCinhisfirstcollege
introductorypsychologyclasswithhisteachertellinghimthat,"therewas
alreadyafamousSternberginpsychologyanditwasobvioustherewouldnotbe
another."Sternbergshowedhim,however,graduatingfromStanfordwith
exceptionaldistinctioninpsychology,summacumlaude,andPhiBetaKappaand
eventuallybecomingthePresidentoftheAmericanPsychologicalAssociation.

Inventors

Theseinventorschangedthefaceofthemodernworld,butnotwithoutafewfailed
prototypesalongtheway.

15. ThomasEdison:Inhisearlyyears,teacherstoldEdisonhewas"toostupidto
learnanything."Workwasnobetter,ashewasfiredfromhisfirsttwojobsfor
notbeingproductiveenough.Evenasaninventor,Edisonmade1,000
unsuccessfulattemptsatinventingthelightbulb.Ofcourse,allthose
unsuccessfulattemptsfinallyresultedinthedesignthatworked.

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 16. OrvilleandWilburWright:Thesebrothersbattleddepressionandfamilyillness
beforestartingthebicycleshopthatwouldleadthemtoexperimentingwith
flight.Afternumerousattemptsatcreatingflyingmachines,severalyearsof
hardwork,andtonsoffailedprototypes,thebrothersfinallycreatedaplane
thatcouldgetairborneandstaythere.

PublicFigures

Frompoliticianstotalkshowhosts,thesefigureshadafewfailuresbeforetheycame
outontop.

17. WinstonChurchill:ThisNobelPrizewinning,twiceelectedPrimeMinisterofthe
UnitedKingdomwasn'talwaysaswellregardedasheistoday.Churchill
struggledinschoolandfailedthesixthgrade.Afterschool,hefacedmanyyears
ofpoliticalfailures,ashewasdefeatedineveryelectionforpublicofficeuntilhe
finallybecamethePrimeMinisterattheripeoldageof62.
18. AbrahamLincoln:Whiletodayheisrememberedasoneofthegreatestleaders
ofournation,Lincoln'slifewasn'tsoeasy.Inhisyouthhewenttowaracaptain
andreturnedaprivate(ifyou'renotfamiliarwithmilitaryranks,justknowthat
privateisaslowasitgoes).Lincolndidn'tstopfailingthere,however.He
startednumerousfailedbusinessesandwasdefeatedinnumerousrunshemade
forpublicoffice.
19. OprahWinfrey:MostpeopleknowOprahasoneofthemosticonicfacesonTV,
aswellasoneoftherichestandmostsuccessfulwomenintheworld.Oprah
facedahardroadtogettothatposition,however,enduringaroughandoften
abusivechildhoodaswellasnumerouscareersetbacks,includingbeingfired
fromherjobasatelevisionreporterbecauseshewas"unfitforTV."
20. HarryS.Truman:ThisWWIvet,Senator,VicePresidentandeventualPresident
eventuallyfoundsuccessinhislife,butnotwithoutafewmisstepsalongthe
way.Trumanstartedastorethatsoldsilkshirtsandotherclothingseeminglya
successatfirstonlytogobankruptafewyearslater.
21. DickCheney:ThisrecentVicePresidentandbusinessmanmadehiswaytothe
WhiteHousebutmanagedtoflunkoutofYaleUniversity,notonce,buttwice.
FormerPresidentGeorgeW.BushjokedwithCheneyaboutthisfact,stating,"So
nowweknowifyougraduatefromYale,youbecomePresident.Ifyoudrop
out,yougettobeVicePresident."

HollywoodTypes

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Thesefacesoughttobefamiliarfromthebigscreen,buttheseactors,actressesand
directorssawtheirfairshareofrejectionandfailurebeforetheymadeitbig.

22. JerrySeinfeld:JustabouteverybodyknowswhoSeinfeldis,butthefirsttimethe
youngcomedianwalkedonstageatacomedyclub,helookedoutatthe
audience,frozeandwaseventuallyjeeredandbooedoffofthestage.Seinfeld
knewhecoulddoit,sohewentbackthenextnight,completedhissetto
laughterandapplause,andtherestishistory.
23. FredAstaire:Inhisfirstscreentest,thetestingdirectorofMGMnotedthat
Astaire,"Can'tact.Can'tsing.Slightlybald.Candancealittle."Astairewenton
tobecomeanincrediblysuccessfulactor,singeranddancerandkeptthatnotein
hisBeverlyHillshometoremindhimofwherehecamefrom.
24. SidneyPoitier:Afterhisfirstaudition,Poitierwastoldbythecastingdirector,
"Whydon'tyoustopwastingpeople'stimeandgooutandbecomeadishwasher
orsomething?"Poitiervowedtoshowhimthathecouldmakeit,goingonto
winanOscarandbecomeoneofthemostwellregardedactorsinthebusiness.
25. JeanneMoreau:Asayoungactressjuststartingout,thisFrenchactresswastold
byacastingdirectorthatshewassimplynotprettyenoughtomakeitinfilms.
Hecouldn'thavebeenmorewrongasMoreauwhenontostarinnearly100
filmsandwinnumerousawardsforherperformances.
26. CharlieChaplin:It'shardtoimaginefilmwithouttheiconicCharlieChaplin,but
hisactwasinitiallyrejectedbyHollywoodstudiochiefsbecausetheyfeltitwasa
littletoononsensicaltoeversell.
27. LucilleBall:Duringhercareer,BallhadthirteenEmmynominationsandfour
wins,alsoearningtheLifetimeAchievementAwardfromtheKennedyCenter
Honors.BeforestarringinILoveLucy,Ballwaswidelyregardedasafailed
actressandaBmoviestar.Evenherdramainstructorsdidn'tfeelshecould
makeit,tellinghertotryanotherprofession.She,ofcourse,provedthemall
wrong.
28. HarrisonFord:Inhisfirstfilm,Fordwastoldbythemovieexecsthathesimply
didn'thavewhatittakestobeastar.Today,withnumeroushitsunderhisbelt,
iconicportrayalsofcharacterslikeHanSoloandIndianaJones,andacareerthat
stretchesdecades,Fordcanproudlyshowthathedoes,infact,havewhatit
takes.
29. MarilynMonroe:WhileMonroe'sstarburnedoutearly,shedidhaveaperiodof
greatsuccessinherlife.Despitearoughupbringingandbeingtoldbymodeling
agentsthatsheshouldinsteadconsiderbeingasecretary,Monroebecameapin
up,modelandactressthatstillstrikesachordwithpeopletoday.

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 30. OliverStone:ThisOscarwinningfilmmakerbeganhisfirstnovelwhileatYale,a
projectthateventuallycausedhimtofailoutofschool.Thiswouldturnoutto
beapoordecisionasthetextwasrejectedbypublishersandwasnotpublished
until1998,atwhichtimeitwasnotwellreceived.Afterdroppingoutofschool,
StonemovedtoVietnamtoteachEnglish,laterenlistingintheArmyandfighting
inthewar,abattlethatearnedhimtwoPurpleHeartsandhelpedhimfindthe
inspirationforhislaterworksthatoftencenteraroundwar.

WritersandArtists

We'veallheardaboutstarvingartistsandstrugglingwriters,butthesestoriesshowthat
sometimesallthatworkreallydoespayoffwithsuccessinthelongrun.

31. VincentVanGogh:Duringhislifetime,VanGoghsoldonlyonepainting,andthis
wastoafriendandonlyforaverysmallamountofmoney.WhileVanGoghwas
neverasuccessduringhislife,hepluggedonwithpainting,sometimesstarving
tocompletehisover800knownworks.Today,theybringinhundredsof
millions.
32. EmilyDickinson:RecluseandpoetEmilyDickinsonisacommonlyreadandloved
writer.Yetinherlifetimeshewasallbutignored,havingfewerthanadozen
poemspublishedoutofheralmost1,800completedworks.
33. TheodorSeussGiesel:TodaynearlyeverychildhasreadTheCatintheHator
GreenEggsandHam,yet27differentpublishersrejectedDr.Seuss'sfirstbook
ToThinkThatISawItonMulberryStreet.
34. CharlesSchultz:Schultz'sPeanutscomicstriphashadenduringfame,yetthis
cartoonisthadeverycartoonhesubmittedrejectedbyhishighschoolyearbook
staff.Evenafterhighschool,Schultzdidn'thaveiteasy,applyingandbeing
rejectedforapositionworkingwithWaltDisney.
35. StevenSpielberg:WhiletodaySpielberg'snameissynonymouswithbigbudget,
hewasrejectedfromtheUniversityofSouthernCaliforniaSchoolofTheater,
FilmandTelevisionthreetimes.Heeventuallyattendedschoolatanother
location,onlytodropouttobecomeadirectorbeforefinishing.Thirtyfiveyears
afterstartinghisdegree,Spielbergreturnedtoschoolin2002tofinallycomplete
hisworkandearnhisBA.
36. StephenKing:Thefirstbookbythisauthor,theiconicthrillerCarrie,received30
rejections,finallycausingKingtogiveupandthrowitinthetrash.Hiswife
fisheditoutandencouragedhimtoresubmitit,andtherestishistory,withKing
nowhavinghundredsofbookspublishedandthedistinctionofbeingoneofthe
bestsellingauthorsofalltime.

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 37. ZaneGrey:Incrediblypopularintheearly20thcentury,thisadventurebook
writerbeganhiscareerasadentist,somethinghequicklybegantohate.So,he
begantowrite,onlytoseerejectionafterrejectionforhisworks,beingtold
eventuallythathehadnobusinessbeingawriterandshouldgiveup.Ittookhim
years,butat40,Zanefinallygothisfirstworkpublished,leavinghimwithalmost
90bookstohisnameandsellingover50millioncopiesworldwide.
38. J.K.Rowling:RowlingmayberollinginalotofHarryPotterdoughtoday,but
beforeshewrotetheseriesofnovelsshewasnearlypenniless,severely
depressed,divorced,tryingtoraiseachildonherownwhileattendingschool
andwritinganovel.Rowlingwentfromdependingonwelfaretosurviveto
beingoneoftherichestwomenintheworldinaspanofonlyfiveyearsthrough
herhardworkanddetermination.
39. Monet:TodayMonet'sworksellsformillionsofdollarsandhangsinsomeofthe
mostprestigiousinstitutionsintheworld.Yetduringhisowntime,itwas
mockedandrejectedbytheartisticelite,theParisSalon.Monetkeptathis
Impressioniststyle,whichcaughtonandinmanywayswasastartingpointfor
somemajorchangestoartthatusheredinthemodernera.
40. JackLondon:ThiswellknownAmericanauthorwasn'talwayssuchasuccess.
WhilehewouldgoontopublishpopularnovelslikeWhiteFangandTheCallof
theWild,hisfirststoryreceivedsixhundredrejectionslipsbeforefinallybeing
accepted.
41. LouisaMayAlcott:MostpeoplearefamiliarwithAlcott'smostfamouswork,
LittleWomen.YetAlcottfacedabitofabattletogetherworkoutthereand
wasencouragedtofindworkasaservantbyherfamilytomakeendsmeet.It
washerlettersbackhomeduringherexperienceasanurseintheCivilWarthat
gaveherthefirstbigbreaksheneeded.

Musicians

Whiletheirmusicissomeofthebestselling,bestlovedandmostpopulararoundthe
worldtoday,thesemusiciansshowthatittakesawholelotofdeterminationtoachieve
success.

42. WolfgangAmadeusMozart:Mozartbegancomposingattheageoffive,writing
over600piecesofmusicthattodayarelaudedassomeofthebestevercreated.
Yetduringhislifetime,Mozartdidn'thavesuchaneasytime,andwasoften
restless,leadingtohisdismissalfromapositionasacourtmusicianinSalzburg.
Hestruggledtokeepthesupportofthearistocracyanddiedwithlittletohis
name.

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 43. ElvisPresley:Asoneofthebestsellingartistsofalltime,Elvishasbecomea
householdnameevenyearsafterhisdeath.Butbackin1954,Elviswasstilla
nobody,andJimmyDenny,manageroftheGrandOleOpry,firedElvisPresley
afterjustoneperformance,tellinghim,"Youain'tgoingnowhere,son.You
oughttogobacktodrivingatruck."
44. IgorStravinsky:In1913whenStravinskydebutedhisnowfamousRiteofSpring,
audiencesrioted,runningthecomposeroutoftown.Yetitwasthisverywork
thatchangedthewaycomposersinthe19thcenturythoughtaboutmusicand
cementedhisplaceinmusicalhistory.
45. TheBeatles:Fewpeoplecandenythelastingpowerofthissupergroup,still
popularwithlistenersaroundtheworldtoday.Yetwhentheywerejuststarting
out,arecordingcompanytoldthemno.Theyweretold,"wedon'tliketheir
sound,andguitarmusicisonthewayout,"twothingstherestoftheworld
couldn'thavedisagreedwithmore.
46. LudwigvanBeethoven:Inhisformativeyears,youngBeethovenwasincredibly
awkwardontheviolinandwasoftensobusyworkingonhisowncompositions
thatheneglectedtopractice.Despitehisloveofcomposing,histeachersfelthe
washopelessatitandwouldneversucceedwiththeviolinorincomposing.
Beethovenkeptpluggingalong,however,andcomposedsomeofthebestloved
symphoniesofalltimefiveofthemwhilehewascompletelydeaf.

Athletes

Whilesomeathletesrockettofame,othersendureapathfraughtwithalittlemore
adversity,likethoselistedhere.

47. MichaelJordan:Mostpeoplewouldn'tbelievethatamanoftenlaudedasthe
bestbasketballplayerofalltimewasactuallycutfromhishighschoolbasketball
team.Luckily,Jordandidn'tletthissetbackstophimfromplayingthegameand
hehasstated,"Ihavemissedmorethan9,000shotsinmycareer.Ihavelost
almost300games.On26occasionsIhavebeenentrustedtotakethegame
winningshot,andImissed.Ihavefailedoverandoverandoveragaininmylife.
AndthatiswhyIsucceed."
48. StanSmith:Thistennisplayerwasrejectedfromevenbeingalowlyballboyfor
aDavisCuptennismatchbecauseeventorganizersfelthewastooclumsyand
uncoordinated.Smithwentontoprovethemwrong,showcasinghisnotso
clumsyskillsbywinningWimbledon,theU.S.OpenandeightDavisCups.
49. BabeRuth:YouprobablyknowBabeRuthbecauseofhishomerunrecord(714
duringhiscareer),butalongwithallthosehomerunscameaprettyhefty

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 amountofstrikeoutsaswell(1,330inall).Infact,fordecadesheheldtherecord
forstrikeouts.Whenaskedaboutthishesimplysaid,"Everystrikebringsme
closertothenexthomerun."
50. TomLandry:AsthecoachoftheDallasCowboys,Landrybroughttheteamtwo
SuperBowlvictories,fiveNFCChampionshipvictoriesandholdstherecordfor
themostcareerwins.Healsohasthedistinctionofhavingoneoftheworstfirst
seasonsonrecord(winningnogames)andwinningfiveorfeweroverthenext
fourseasons.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeople
committotakingpersonalresponsibilityfortheircareersuccess.Theysethighgoals
anddowhateverittakestoachievethem.Theyalsoreactpositivelytothepeopleand
eventsintheirlivesespeciallythenegativepeopleandevents.Theyfollowthecareer
adviceinTweet34inSuccessTweets.Treatfailureasthetuitionyoupaytosucceed.
Ifyouhaveasetback,choosetoreactpositivelyandlearnsomething.Inthispost,I
toldthestoriesof50wellknownpeoplewhoendedupbeingwildlysuccessfulandwell
knownbecausetheylearnedfromtheirmistakesandfailures.Usethiscareeradvice;let
thesesuccessfulpeoplebeanexampleandinspirationforyouthenexttimeyoufeelup
becauseyouvefailed.

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Persistentpeoplekeepgoing;especiallyinthefaceofdifficulties.Keepatitandyou
willaccomplishyourgoals.

JohnMillerisafriendofmine.HeisalsotheauthorofagreatlittlebookcalledQBQ!
TheQuestionBehindtheQuestion.Johnsaysthatalltoooftenweaskthewrong
questionswhenwerunintoproblems.Thesequestionsfocusonotherpeople.They
seektofindwhotoblameforourtroublesanddifficulties.Johnsuggeststhatyou(and
I)shouldaskthequestionbehindthequestionthequestionthatempowersusand
helpsustakechargeofourlifeandcareersuccess.

Johnisontosomethinghere.Hisquestionbehindthequestionconceptisgreatcareer
advice.QBQs,asJohncallsthem,helpusbecomepersistentandkeepgoingintheface
ofdifficulties.

Attheendofthebook,Johnprovidesagreatlistoflousyquestions,alongwithaQBQ
thathesuggestswillhelpyoumovetowardyourlifeandcareersuccess.Checkthem
out

LousyCustomerServiceQuestions

Whenwillshippingstartgettingordersoutontime?
Whydoourcustomersexpectsomuchofus?
Whydontcustomersfollowtheinstructions?

CustomerServiceQBQ

HowcanIbestserveourcustomers?

LousySalesQuestions

Whyareourpricessohigh?
Whenwillourproductsbecomemorecompetitive?
Whywontcustomerscallmeback?
Whenwillmarketinggiveusbettersalesaids?
Whycantmanufacturingmakewhatwesell?

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SalesQBQs

WhatcanIdotodaytobecomeamoreeffectivesalesperson?
HowcanIaddvalueformycustomers?

LousyMarketingQuestions

Whenwillsalespeopledeliverourprograms?
Whywontsalespeopletakethetimetolearnournewproducts?

MarketingQBQs

WhatcanIdotounderstandsalesrepsissuesandconcerns?
HowcanIlearnmoreaboutwhatourcustomerswantandneed?

LousyManufacturingQuestions

Whycantsalespeoplestaywithinourcapabilities?
Whenwilltheylearntosellaccordingtoourspecifications?

ManufacturingQBQ

HowcanIbetterunderstandthechallengesoursalespeopleface?

LousyIndividualContributorQuestions

Whydowehavetogothroughallthischange?
WhenwillIgetthetrainingIneed?
WhydontIgetpaidmore?
Whoisgoingtoclarifymyroleandresponsibilities?
Whenismanagementgoingtogettheiracttogether?
Whowillsetourvision?

IndividualContributorQBQs

WhatcanIdotobemoreproductive?
HowcanIadapttoourchangingenvironment?
WhatcanIdotodevelopmyself?

LousyManagementandLeadershipQuestions

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 Whydoesnttheyoungergenerationwanttoworkhard?
WhenamIgoingtofindgoodpeople?
Whyarentmypeoplemotivated?
Whomadethatmistake?
Whydontpeoplecomeinontime?
Whodroppedtheball?
Whenaretheygoingtocatchthevision?
WhowillcareasmuchasIdo?
Whenwillthemarketturnaround?
WhodoIhavetodoeverythingmyself?

ManagementandLeadershipQBQs

HowcanIbeamoreeffectivecoach?
WhatcanIdotobetterunderstandeachpersononmyteam?
HowcanIbeabetterleader?
WhatcanIdotoshowIcare?
HowcanIcommunicatebetter?
HowcanIdoabetterjobofdelegating?

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
persistent.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinTweet35inSuccessTweets.Persistent
peoplekeepgoing;especiallyinthefaceofdifficulties.Keepatitandyouwill
accomplishyourgoals.Successfulpeopledontsearchforblame.Theyaskwhatmy
friendJohnMillercallsthequestionbehindthequestion,oraQBQ.Theysearchfor
whattheycandotoovercometheproblemsanddifficultiesthataregettingintheway
oftheircareersuccess.Questionsbehindthequestionfocusonwhatyoucandoto
solveproblemsandhandledifficulties.Theybeginwiththewordshowandwhat.
TheycontainthewordI;andtheyfocusonaction.Hereismybestcareersuccess
coachQBQ:WhatcanIdotocreatemyownsuccess?Askandanswerthisquestion
andyoullbewellonyourwaytothelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.

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Dontbeafraidtofail.Youfailonlyifyoudontlearnsomethingfromtheexperience.
Treateveryfailureasanopportunitytogrow.

Fearistheenemyofselfconfidenceandcareersuccess.Mostpeoplefearfailure,
criticismandrejection.Itsonlynormal.Weallwanttofeelgoodaboutourselves.
Failure,criticismandrejectionarenotpleasantexperiences.Theylowerourself
esteemandmakeusfeelbadaboutourselves,soweoftenavoiddoingthingsthatwe
thinkmightleadtofailure,criticismorrejection.However,ifyouwanttocreatethelife
andcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve,youhavetohavethecouragetodothings
thatmightresultinfailure,criticismorrejection.

Failure,criticismandrejectionprovideyouwiththeopportunitytogrowanddevelop
tosucceed.Youcanttakefailure,criticismandrejectionpersonally.Failure,criticism
andrejectionareoutcomes.Theyarearesultofthingsyouhavedone.Theyarenot
whoyouare.Weallmakemistakesandfail.Wealldothingsthatcauseothersto
criticizeorrejectus.Thisdoesntmeanthatwearefailures.Itmeansthatwehave
madesomepoorchoicesanddonesomenotsosmartthings.

Failure,criticismandrejectionprovidetheopportunitytostartoverhopefullyalittle
smarter.BuckminsterFulleroncesaid,Whateverhumanshavelearnedhadtobe
learnedasaconsequenceoftrialanderrorexperience.Humanshavelearnedonly
throughmistakes.

Thatswhyfearistheenemyofselfconfidenceandcareersuccess.Takeitfroma
careersuccesscoach.Ifyourfearoffailure,criticismandrejectionparalyzesyoutothe
pointwhereyouarentwillingtotakecalculatedrisks,youllneverlearnanythingor
accomplishanyofyourgoals.

Dontbetoohardonyourselfwhenyoufail,orwhenotherscriticizeorrejectyou.My
bestcareeradviceistoputyourenergyintofiguringoutwhyyoufailedandthendo
somethingdifferent.Herearefourcareersuccesscoachquestionstoaskyourselfthe
nexttimeyoufail,orgetcriticizedorrejected.

1. WhydidIfail?WhydidIgetcriticizedorrejected?WhatdidIdotocausethe
failure,criticismorrejection?

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 2. WhatcouldIhavedonetopreventthefailure,criticismorrejection?
3. WhathaveIlearnedfromthissituation?
4. WhatwillIdodifferentlythenexttime?

Ifyoudothis,youllbeusingfailure,criticismandrejectiontoyouradvantage.InThink
andGrowRich,NapoleonHillsays,Everyadversity,everyfailureandeveryheartache
carrieswithittheseedofanequivalentorgreaterbenefit.Iknowitshardtoseethe
benefitoropportunityinfailure,criticismandrejection.Butitsthereyoujusthaveto
lookhardenough.Butitallbeginsbyfacingyourfearandacting.Thelessyoufear
failure,themorecareersuccessyoullcreate.

Iamproudofmyniece,Brett.Alittleoverayearago,sheleftagoodjobinFloridaand
movedtoSanDiego.ShehadnojoblinedupinSanDiegowhenshemoved.Some
membersofthefamilythoughtshewassillytoleaveagoodjobtomoveacrossthe
countrywithnojob.Ithoughtthatshedemonstratedamazingoptimismandcouragein
makingsuchalongmoveinsuchadifficulteconomy.Brettwasntafraidtofail.
SeventeendaysaftershearrivedinSanDiegoshelandedajobasanaccountmanager
foranathleticapparelmanufacturer.Shehassincereceivedtwopromotions.Im
proudofBrett.Shedidntletherfearoffailure,criticism,orrejectionstopherfrom
pursuingherdreams.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
selfconfident.Selfconfidentpeoplefacetheirfearsandact.Theyfollowtheadvicein
Tweet36inSuccessTweets.Dontbeafraidtofail.Youfailonlyifyoudontlearn
somethingfromtheexperience.Treateveryfailureasanopportunitytogrow.Our
mostcommonfearsarefailure,criticism,andrejection.Followthiscareeradvice.
Choosetofindandusethelearningopportunityinyourfailuresandyouwillbecome
moreselfconfidentandsuccessful.Itssadbuttruefailure,criticismandrejectionare
oftenthepriceyoupayforbecomingacareersuccess.Facingyourfearoffailure,
criticismandrejection,andactingwillpaybigdividendswhenitcomestoyourlifeand
careersuccess.

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Itsnotwhathappenstoyou,buthowyoureacttoit.Dontdwellonthenegative,
useitasaspringboardtoactionandcreativity.

Successfulpeoplehaveahabitoffocusingonthepositiveandputtingthenegativeout
oftheirminds.Positivehabitslikethisareanimportantkeytocareersuccess.Habits
arelikemuscles.Themoreyouusethem,thestrongertheyget.DanRobeyistheKing
ofPositiveHabits.HiseBook,ThePowerofPositiveHabits,isoneofmygotobooks
whenIneedtogivemyselfalittleboost.Youcangetacopyat
www.ThePowerOfPositiveHabits.com.

Dansbookisbasedontheideaofcognitiverestructuring.AccordingtoDan,cognitive
restructuringislearningtoidentifyyourpersonalcycleofnegativethoughts,habits,and
routinesandreplacingthemwithpositivethoughts,habits,androutinesthatwill
provideyouwithlifelongbenefits.

Today,Idliketodiscussanimportantpositivehabitproactivelymanagingyourstress.
WhenIwasakidaboutamillionyearsago,therewasapopularsong.Ibelieveitwasa
showtune.Acoupleofthelineswentlikethis

Youvegottoaccentuatethepositive,and
eliminatethenegative

Idontknowtheshow.Ifyoudo,pleaseleaveacommentlettingusknow.Illgivea
freecopyoftheeBookversionofStraightTalkforSuccesstoeverybodywhoknowsthe
nameoftheshowandsharesitinacomment.

Anyway,IwasthinkingaboutthatsongtheotherdaybecauseIcameacrossanewbook
onstressmanagementbyEvelynBrooks,calledForgetYourTroubles:EnjoyYourLife
Today.

EvelynsuggeststhatyougetS.M.A.R.T.aboutmanagingstress

S Smashthenegative.
M Maximizethepositive.

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 A Act.
R Relax.
T Targetyournextaction.

Soundsalotliketheadviceinthesong.Astheysay,theresnothingnewunderthe
sun.And,moreimportantly,asacareersuccesscoach,Iagree.Itdoesntmatterifyou
accentuatethepositiveandeliminatethenegative,smashthenegativeand
maximizethepositive,ordoabitofcognitiverestructuring,youllbeonyourwayto
managingyourstressandbecomingalifeandcareersuccess.

Stuffhappensasyougothroughlife;positivestuff,negativestuff,happystuff,sadstuff,
frustratingstuff.Theimportantthingisnotwhathappens,buthowyoureacttoit.In
otherwords,smashyournegativethoughts;replacethemwithpositiveones.Dont
dwellonthenegative,useitasaspringboardtoactionandcreativity.Maximizethe
positiveinyourlifebycreatingpositivehabitsandroutines.Whensomethinggoeswell,
takethetimetocelebrate.Youdeserveit.And,smallcelebrationswhenyousucceed
areapositivehabitthatwillputyouinapositiveframeofmind,whichinturn,willhelp
youcreatemorelifeandcareersuccesses.

Ihavegivenawayalmost1,000copiesoftheeBookversionofSuccessTweets.I
mentionthisbecauseImcelebrating.IwanttogetthepositivemessageinSuccess
TweetsintothehandsofasmanypeopleasIcan.Imaccentuatingthepositive,orif
youprefer,maximizingthepositive.Youmightsaythat1,000peoplechoosingto
receiveafreeeBookisnotareasonforahugecelebration;butIdoandImfollowing
myowncareersuccessadvicebydoingsomecognitiverestructuringcreatingahabit
ofcelebratingsmallsuccesses.Celebratingsmallwinsisagreatpositivehabitforme.It
willhelpmemanagemystressandnotgetoverwhelmedbythenegativesthatwill
invariablycreepintomylife.Imstickingtoit.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplefollow
theadviceinTweet37inSuccessTweets.Itsnotwhathappenstoyou,buthowyou
reacttoit.Dontdwellonthenegative,useitasaspringboardtoactionandcreativity.
Getcompetent.Createpositivepersonalimpact.Becomeanoutstandingperformer
andadynamiccommunicator.Buildstrongrelationshipswiththeimportantpeoplein
yourlife.Positivehabitswillhelpyoudoallofthese.Smashthenegativesinyourlife
andcreatepositivethoughts,habitsandroutines.Usethenegativesthatcomeyour
wayaslearningexperiences,andpositivethoughts,habitsandroutinestocreatesmall
victories.Treatthesesmallvictoriesasareasonforcelebration.Celebratingsmall
victoriesisagoodwaytokeepthingsinperspectiveandbuildtheresiliencenecessary

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fordealingwiththetoughtimesandforaccentuatingthepositive,andelim
inatingthenegative.Takeitfromacareersuccesscoach,positivehabitsarepowerful
andwillhelpyoubecomethelifeandcareersuccessyoudeservetobe.

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Dontletaslowdaygetyoudown.Ifyoucomebackemptyhandedinyourquestfor
success,getupthenextdayandkeepworking.

Asacareersuccesscoach,Imalwayslookingforwaystogetmycommonsense
messageaboutlifeandcareersuccessacrosstomyclients,peoplewhoreadmyblog
andlistentomypodcasts.ThatswhyIwasstruckbyapassageinTracyChevaliersnew
book,RemarkableCreatures.IfyoudontknowTracyChevalier,youshould.Formy
moneysheisoneofthebestnovelistswritingtoday.Herfirstbook,GirlWithaPearl
Earring,wasmadeintoamoviestarringScarlettJohansson.

InRemarkableCreatures,shetellsthestoryoftwowomenfossilhuntersinearly19th
centuryEngland.Herprotagonistsareamiddleagedspinsterandayounggirl.Bothare
committedfossilhunters.HereishowElizabethPhilpot,thespinster,describes
committedfossilhunters

Huntersspendhourafterhour,dayafterday,outinallweather,ourfaces
sunburnt,ourhairtangledbythewind,oureyesinapermanentsquint,ournails
raggedandourfingertipstorn,ourhandschapped.Ourbootsaretrimmedwith
mudandstainedwithseawater.Ourclothesarefilthybytheendoftheday.
Oftenwefindnothing,butwearepatientandhardworkingandnotputoffby
comingbackemptyhandedThoseseriousaboutfossilsknowtheirsearchis
neverover.Therewillalwaysbemorespecimenstodiscoverandstudy,for,as
withpeople,eachfossilisunique.Therecanneverbetoomany.

Ilovethispassage.Itdescribesinwonderfulprosemythoughtsandbeliefsonthe
importanceofknowingyourpurposeinlifeandcommittingtotakingpersonal
responsibilityforlivingit.Oftenwefindnothing,butwearepatientandhardworking
andnotputoffbycomingbackemptyhanded.ThatsexactlywhatImtalkingabout
whenItellmycareersuccesscoachingclients,Stuffhappens.Thestuffthathappens,
goodorbad,isntwhatsimportant.Whatisimportantishowyoureacttoit.

Followthiscareeradvice.Bepatientandhardworking.Dontbeputoffbyadayin
whichyoucomebackemptyhanded.Choosetobelievethatyourhardworkwillpayoff

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intheend.Committotakingpersonalresponsibilityforlivingyourlifespurpose
whetheritbefossilhunting,selling,buildingthings,orhelpingothers.

Peoplewhocommittotakingpersonalresponsibilityforcreatingthesuccessfullivesand
careerstheywantanddeserveknowthattheirpersonalquestisneverovertherewill
alwaysbemoretodo,moretoaccomplish.

ImentionedAbrahamMaslowshierarchyofhumanneedsinapostawhileback.Its
beenalmost40yearssinceIfirstheardofit.Ifyourenotfamiliarwithit,Dr.Maslow
suggestedthatallhumanbeingshaveaseriesofneedsthattheystrivetosatisfy.He
arrangedtheseneedsinapyramid.Accordingtohistheory,safetyisthefirstandmost
basichumanneed.Itisatthebottomofthepyramid.Weallstrivetoremainsafeinan
uncertainworldweallwanttoliveanotherday.Securityisnext.Onceweare
reasonablysurethatwewillsurvivethismomentandthisday,ourneedsmoveto
developingasenseofsecurity,oneinwhichwefeelthatourlivesandqualityofour
liveswillremainconstant.Affiliationisnext.Oncewefeelsafeandsecure,wesearch
formeaningfulrelationshipsinourlives.Recognitionisnext.Oncewefeelsafe,secure
andvaluedbyothers,wecraverecognitionintheformofpraise,promotions,more
money.Selfactualizationisatthetopofthepyramid.Dr.Maslowsaysthatafterour
safety,security,affiliationandrecognitionneedsaresatisfied,weturnourattentionto
whathecallsselfactualization,astateofbeingallthatwecanbe.

Dr.Maslowsuggeststhatwehumanbeingscanneverbecompletelyselfactualized
becauseassoonaswereachonegoal,werealizethatthereisalwayssomethingmore
thatwecanachieve.OnceBillGatesbecameoneoftheworldswealthiestmen,he
realizedthathecouldbedoingmoretohelpothers.Sohecreatedhisfoundation.
OnceIcreatedandranasuccessfulconsultingpractice,IrealizedthatIcoulddomoreto
sharemyknowledgeaboutcareersuccesswithawideraudience.ThatswhyIstarted
bloggingandwritingbooks.

Andspeakingthroughaspinsterfossilhunter,TracyChevaliersays,Therewillalways
bemorespecimenstodiscoverandstudy,for,aswithpeople,eachfossilisunique.
Therecanneverbetoomany.Indeed;therewillalwaysbemoretodo,moreto
accomplishifonlyyouclarifyyourlifespurposeandthencommittotakingpersonal
responsibilityforit.

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Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
clearontheirpurposeanddirectioninlife.Theycommittotakingpersonal
responsibilityforlivingtheirlifepurpose.Ifyouwanttoachievecareersuccess,you
needtodothesame.Clarifywhatyouwantfromyourlifeandcareer.Thencommitto
doingwhateverittakestogetit.FollowthecareeradviceinTweet38inSuccess
Tweets.Dontletaslowdaygetyoudown.Ifyoucomebackemptyhandedinyour
questforsuccess,getupthenextdayandkeepworking.Sethighgoals.React
positivelytothesetbacks,problemsandnegativepeopleandeventsinyourlife.Keep
atit.Dontletadaywhenyoucomebackemptyhandedinyourquestforcareer
successgetyoudown.Getupthenextdaywithoptimisminyourheartandkeep
workingtowardthemightypurposeyouvesetforyourself.

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Whileotherpeopleandeventshaveanimpactonourlife,theydontshapeit.You
gettochoosehowyoureacttopeopleandevents.

AsIwasgettingreadytowritethispost,anemailfrommyfriendsatHeartMath
poppedupinmyinbox.IthadaquotefromViktorFrankl

"Betweenstimulusandresponse,thereisaspace.Inthatspaceliesourfreedom
andpowertochooseourresponse.Inourresponseliesourgrowthand
freedom."

VictorFranklsurvivedtheNazideathcampsinWWII.Helosthiswife,motherand
fatherinthosecamps.HisexperiencewiththeNazisledhimtoconcludethatevenin
themostabsurd,painfulanddehumanizedsituation,lifehaspotentialmeaning.
Therefore,evensufferingismeaningful.Hechronicledhisexperiencesinthecampsand
whathelearnedfromtheminhisfamousbook,MansSearchforMeaning.In1991,
theUSLibraryofCongressdesignateditasoneofthetenmostinfluentialbooksinthe
UnitedStates.Ithassoldover10millioncopiesandbeentranslatedinto24languages.

Oneofhisfamousquotesalwaysbringstearstomyeyes

Wewholivedinconcentrationcampscanrememberthemenwhowalked
throughthehutscomfortingothers,givingawaytheirlastpieceofbread.They
mayhavebeenfewinnumber,buttheyoffersufficientproofthateverything
canbetakenfromamanbutonething:thelastofthehumanfreedomsto
chooseone'sattitudeinanygivensetofcircumstances,tochooseone'sown
way."

Speakingofattitude,theJune2010issueofSUCCESSMagazinehasagreatarticleby
JohnMaxwellcalled,AttitudeIstheDifferenceMaker.Johnsays,Attitudeisnt
everything,butitsthemaindifferencemaker.

AsyoucanseefromtheViktorFranklquoteabove,choosingyourattitudeischoosing
yourownway.Asahumanbeing,yougettochoosehowyourespondtothepeople
andeventsinyourlife.Youcanchoosetohaveapositive,optimisticattitudeand

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respondtodifficultpeopleandeventsinaconstructivemanner.Or,youcanchooseto
haveanegativeattitudeandrespondtodifficultpeopleandeventsinaselfdestructive
manner.Yourattitudeisthedifferencemakerbetweenasuccessful,rewardinglifeand
career,andanunsuccessfulandunfulfillinglifeandcareer.

Takeitfromacareersuccesscoach.Yougettochoosehowyourespondtoevery
personyoumeetandeverythingthathappenstoyou.Yourmomentofchoicecomesin
betweenthestimulusandyourresponse.Thiscanbeasmallspace,butitisaspace
thatexists.Yourattitudehasabigimpactonwhatyouchooseinthesemomentsof
choice.

JohnMaxwellsays,Yourattitudemakesadifferenceinhowyoufacechallenges.
Successfulpeopledonthavefewerproblemsthanunsuccessfulpeopletheyjusthave
adifferentmindset.ThatbearsrepeatingSuccessfulpeopledonthavefewer
problemsthanunsuccessfulpeopletheyjusthaveadifferentmindset.

Weallhaveourproblemsandchallenges.Thedifferencebetweensuccessfulpeople
andunsuccessfulpeopleissimple.Successfulpeoplechoosetorespondtoproblemsin
apositivemanner.Theychooseapositive,proactiveapproach.Theychoosetotake
personalresponsibilityforthemselves,theiractionsandtheirlifeandcareersuccess.
Theychoosetoseeproblemsaschallengesandtheymeetthechallengesthey
encounter.

Chooseistheimportantwordhere.Wehumanbeingshavefreewill.Wecanchoose
howwerespondtothethingsthathappentous.Wecanchooseourattitude.
Successfulpeoplechoosetorespondpositivelytothenegativepeopleandeventsin
theirlives.Successfulpeoplechoosetohaveapositiveattitude.

JohnMaxwellquotesChuckSwindollonthePowerofAttitude

ThelongerIlive,themoreIrealizetheimpactofattitudeonlife.Attitude,to
me,ismoreimportantthaneducation,thanmoney,thancircumstance,than
failures,thansuccesses,thanwhatotherpeople,think,sayordo.Itismore
importantthanappearance,giftednessorscale.Itwillmakeorbreaka
company,achurch,ahome.Theremarkablethingiswehaveachoiceeveryday
regardingtheattitudeweembraceforthatday.Wecannotchangethepast.
Wecannotchangethefactthatpeopleactinacertainway.Wecannotchange

114
 theinevitable.Theonlythingwecandoisplayontheonestringwehave,and
thatisourattitude.Iamconvincedthatlifeis10%whathappenstomeand90%
howIreacttoit;andsoitiswithyou.Weareinchargeofourattitude.

OrasViktorFranklsays

Lifeultimatelymeanstakingtheresponsibilitytofindtherightanswertoits
problemsandtofulfillthetaskswhichitconstantlysetsforeachindividual."

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Yourattitudeisthe
differencemaker.Apositiveattitudeleadstopositiveresultsandcareersuccess.A
negativeattitudeleadstonegativeresults.Thegoodthingisthatyoucanchooseyour
attitude.RememberthecareeradviceandwisdominTweet39inSuccessTweets.
Whileotherpeopleandeventshaveanimpactonourlife,theydontshapeit.Youget
tochoosehowyoureacttopeopleandevents.UsethefreewillthatGodhasgiven
youtocreateyourlifeandcareersuccess.Chooseapositiveattitude.Chooseto
respondpositivelytothenegativepeopleandeventsinyourlife.Rememberwhat
ViktorFrankl,aholocaustsurvivor,teachesus:"Betweenstimulusandresponse,thereis
aspace.Inthatspaceliesourfreedomandpowertochooseourresponse.Inour
responseliesourgrowthandfreedom."Empoweryourselftomaketherightchoices,
thepositivechoices,whenyouencounternegativepeopleandevents.

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Visionwithoutactionisadaydream.Nomatterhowbigyourplansanddreams,
theyllneverbecomerealityuntilyouactonthem.

Asacareersuccesscoach,Imalwayslookingfornewanddifferentwaystogetacross
mycommonsenseideasonlifeandcareersuccess.Ifoundsomegreatideasandgreat
careeradviceinaDenverelementaryschoolacoupleofmonthsago.Iwasinvitedto
seetheGoForIt!InstitutesprograminactionataschoolinDenver.Ifyoudontknow
abouttheGoForIt!Institute,youshould.TheInstituteteacheskidsthevalueofthings
likepositiveattitude,believinginthemselves,positivehabits,goalsettingand
persistence.

TheirworkisbasedonideascreatedbyJudyZerafa.Judyhascreatedsevenkeysto
successforyoungstudents.Checkthemout

KEY1:IHaveaPositiveAttitude!Learnwhatattitudeis;whataspectsofyour
lifearecontrolledordirectedbyyourattitude;howtodetermineyourattitude
atanygivenmoment;specificstrategiestomakeapositiveattitudeapermanent
habitinyourlife.Iwroteabouttheimportanceofattitudeinyesterdayspost.

KEY2:IBelieveinMyself!Understandthenatureofhumanpotentialthrougha
simpleprocessofidentifyingyourpersonaltalentsandabilities;developing
academicstrengthsandpersonalintereststocreatepersonalfulfillmentand
economicopportunitiesforyourfuture.

KEY3:IBuildPositiveHabits!Understandtheprocessofhowhabitsare
created;learntoidentifyandremoveselfdefeatinghabits;createhabitsthat
willmakeallaspectsofyourlifeeasierandmoresuccessful.Iwroteaboutthe
powerofpositivehabitsinarecentpost.

KEY4:IMakeWiseChoices!Learnthedramaticrelationshipbetweenany
currentcircumstancesinyourlifeandthechoicesthatcreatedthese;developa
personalproactiveplanfordesiredoutcomesthroughconscious,wisechoices.

KEY5:ISetandAchieveGoals!Recognizethedifferencebetweenawishanda
goal;makeacommitment,planandtakeaction;recognizecompletion.

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 KEY6:IUseMyCreativeImagination!Extendyourphysicalabilitytoaccelerate
problemsolvingandgoalachievementinallareasofyourlife.

KEY7:IAmPersistent!Trackprogress;developthefocusanddetermination
requiredtosucceed;createanattitudeofgratitudeastheaccesstofulfilling
yourdreams,linktheSevenKeystoSuccesstogetherineverydaylife.

TheGoForIt!Instituteisinbusinesstobringthesekeystoyoungpeopleandtheir
parents.Butasacareersuccesscoach,Ithinktheyareimportantideasforanyone
interestedincreatinglifeandcareersuccess.TheGoForIt!InstitutesSevenKeysto
Successbeararemarkablesimilaritytotheideasbehindoneofmyfourkeysforcareer
success:commitmenttotakingpersonalresponsibilityforyourlifeandcareersuccess.

SincewereatTweet40,itmakessensetodoaquickoverviewofmyfourkeystolife
andcareersuccess,the4Cs:Clarity,Commitment,Confidence,andCompetence.
Heretheyareinalittlemoredetail

Clarityofpurposeanddirection
Asincerecommitmenttotakingpersonalresponsibilityforyourlifeandcareer
Unshakeableselfconfidence
Competenceinfourkeyareas:
o Creatingpositivepersonalimpact
o Outstandingperformance
o Dynamiccommunication
o Relationshipbuilding

WhenIvisitedtheschool,IwatchedaclassoffourthgradersworkwiththeSevenKeys
toSuccess.Itwasgreattoseetheselittleguysandgalsputtheirownspinonthingslike
havingapositiveattitude,settingandachievinggoalsandbeingpersistent.IwishIhad
someoneworkwithmeontheseprincipleswhenIwasthatyoung.

JudyZerafadevelopedtheSevenKeystoSuccessonwhichtheGoForIt!Institutes
programisbasedafterinterviewing35HoratioAlgerAwardwinners.Ithinktheyarea
brilliantlysimplesuccessformula.Sheistakingherpositivemessagetokidsandparents
inanattemptatstartingthesuccesscycleearlyinlife.

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Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
selfconfidentandarecommittedtotakingpersonalresponsibilityfortheirlivesand
careers.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinTweet40inSuccessTweets.Visionwithout
actionisadaydream.Nomatterhowbigyourplansanddreams,theyllneverbecome
realityuntilyouactonthem.TheGoForIt!InstitutesSevenKeystoSuccessareall
abouttakingpersonalresponsibilityforactingonyourplansanddreams.Youwill
succeedifyouhaveapositiveattitude,believeinyourself,buildpositivehabits,make
wisechoices,setandachievegoals,useyourimaginationandpersist.Thelastofthese
sevenkeysistheimportantonehere:Persist.Keepworkingtowardyourgoalsand
dreams,andyouwillbecomeacareersuccess.Itsonlycommonsense.ImgladIwas
introducedtotheGoForIt!Instituteandthegreatworktheyaredoingwithkids.I
thinktheirmessageappliestoallofus.Ifyouincorporatetheirsevenkeysintoyourlife,
youllbewellonyourwaytocreatingthelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.

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Focusonwhatyouarebecoming.Thishelpsyoubelieveinyourselfandbuildsyour
confidence.Confidenceisimportanttoyoursuccess.

Ilovetheideaofbecoming.Itsreallyapositiveconcept.Anditssimilartoacouple
oftheideasinTheOptimistCreed.ThesixthpointofTheOptimistCreedsays,Forget
themistakesofthepastandpressontothegreaterachievementsofthefuture.The
ninthpointsays,Givesomuchtimetotheimprovementofyourselfthatyouhaveno
timetocriticizeothers.

Tweet41inSuccessTweetsandpointssixandnineinTheOptimistCreedreinforceone
ofmycareersuccesscoachpointssuccessisajourney,notadestination.Keep
movingforwardinyourlifeandyoullsucceed.

Imgoingtobe60thisyearandIkeeplearning,growingandmovingforward.To
celebratemy60thbirthday,Iwillbereleasingthreenewbooksandahomestudycourse
onlifeandcareersuccessthisyear.Iambecomingabettercareersuccesscoach
becauseofmywritingandmyblogging.ButImnothingcomparedtoPeterDrucker.He
wrote39booksinhislonganddistinguishedlifeandcareertwothirdsofthemwere
writtenafterhewas65yearsold.

Becomingisnotafunctionofage.Itsafunctionofyourwillingnesstolookaheadand
seetheopportunitieslifebringsyourwayandthentoactonthem.Takeitfroma
careersuccesscoach.Whenyoufocusonwhatyouarebecoming,youwillbebuilding
thelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.Keepbecomingandyouwillsucceed.
Iguaranteeit.

Iliketheideaofbecomingsomuchbecauseitgetsattheideathatallofuscanalways
becomesomethingmore,nomatterourage,orourprevioussuccessesorfailures.
Thereisalwaysmoretodo,moretoaccomplish,awaytobecomemoreremarkable.

Becomingandthinkinggohandinhand.Yourthoughtsdeterminewhatyouwill
become.Itstrueyoubecomewhatyouthinkaboutmost.Thatmeansthatthe
quantityandqualityofthelifeandcareersuccessyouwillachievewillbeindirect

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proportiontothesizeofyourthoughts.Ifyouallowyourmindtobedominatedby
trivialmatters,yourachievementsarelikelytobeunimportant.

Ifyoudisciplineyourselftothinkaboutthingsimportanttoyourlifeandcareersuccess,
youwillachievegreatthings.Takemycareeradvice;keepupwithwhatsnewinyour
fieldandwithwhatsgoingonintheworld.Createalistofgoodideasthatyoucanuse
anytimeyouaresearchingforacreativesolutiontoaproblem.Remember,peoplewith
smallmindsthinkandtalkaboutotherpeople.Peoplewithmediumsizedmindsthink
andtalkaboutthings.Peoplewithgreatmindsthinkandtalkaboutideas.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Buildyourlifeandcareer
successbyfocusingonwhatyouarebecoming.Careersuccessisajourney,nota
destination.Treatitthatway.UsethecareeradviceinTweet41inSuccessTweets.
Focusonwhatyouarebecoming.Thishelpsyoubelieveinyourselfandbuildsyour
confidence.Confidenceisimportanttoyoursuccess.Committotakingpersonal
responsibilityforyourlifeandcareer.Sethighgoals;thendowhateverittakestomeet
orexceedthem.Reactpositivelytothesetbacks,problemsandnegativepeopleand
eventsinyourlife.Keepatit.Dontletadaywhenyoucomebackemptyhandedin
yourquestforbuildingaremarkablelifeandcareergetyoudown.Getupthenextday
withoptimisminyourheart,focusedonwhatyouarebecomingandkeepworking.

IfyouwouldlikeacopyofTheOptimistCreedtoframeandhanginyouroffice,goto
http://budbilanich.com/optimistandenteryournameandemailaddress.

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Chooseoptimism.Itbuildsyourconfidence.Believethattodaywillbebetterthan
yesterday,andthattomorrowwillbebetteryet.

Imabigbelieverinthepowerofoptimism.Ithinkitisthefoundationofallself
confidence.Youcantbeselfconfidentifyourenotoptimistic.And,optimismisa
choice.IgetupeverydaybelievingthatgoodthingswillhappenandthenIgoabout
makingthemhappen.

WhenIwasakid,IparticipatedinthelocalOptimistInternationalchaptersoratory
contest.Iwonmysection,andfinishedthirdinthestate.Thetopicthatyearwas
Optimism,YouthsGreatestAsset.Thatshardenoughforaninthgradertosay(think
JoePesciinMyCousinVinnie),letalonewriteanddeliveratenminutetalk.

OptimistInternationalisagreatserviceorganization.Theyhelpkidsbuildself
confidenceandbecomemoreoptimistic.TheOptimistCreeddefinesthem.Its
powerfulstuff.Takealook

TheOptimistCreed

PromiseYourself:

Tobesostrongthatnothingcandisturbyourpeaceofmind.
Totalkhealth,happinessandprosperitytoeverypersonyoumeet.
Tomakeallyourfriendsfeelthatthereissomethinginthem.
Tolookatthesunnysideofeverythingandmakeyouroptimismcometrue.
Tothinkonlyofthebest,toworkonlyforthebest,andtoexpectonlythebest.
Tobejustasenthusiasticaboutthesuccessofothersasyouareaboutyourown.
Toforgetthemistakesofthepastandpressontothegreaterachievementsof
thefuture.
Towearacheerfulcountenanceatalltimesandgiveeverylivingcreatureyou
meetasmile.
Togivesomuchtimetotheimprovementofyourselfthatyouhavenotimeto
criticizeothers.
Tobetoolargeforworry,toonobleforanger,toostrongforfear,andtoohappy
topermitthepresenceoftrouble.

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IloveTheOptimistCreed.Ihaveitframedandhanginginmyoffice,justabovemy
desk.Ihavemadea.pdfofTheOptimistCreedthatissuitableforframing.Ifyouwant
acopy,justgotohttp://budbilanich.com/optimist.

OnethingthatyoullnoticeaboutTheOptimistCreedisthatitisproactive.Itasksyou
topromiseyourselftodotenthingsthatwillhelpyoucreatethelifeandcareersuccess
thatyouwantanddeserve.Itsuggeststhatoptimismisrelatedtoactionactionyou
cantaketobecomemoreoptimisticandtobuildyourcareersuccess.Ithinkitissome
ofthebestcareeradviceIvecomeacross.Idomybesttolivethe10pointsinThe
OptimistCreedeveryday.Youshouldtoo.

Iespeciallylikethefourthpointpromiseyourselftolookatthesunnysideof
everythingandmakeyouroptimismcometrue.Thispointgoesdirectlytotheideaof
committingtotakingpersonalresponsibilityforyourlifeandcareersuccess.Iknowits
difficulttolookatthesunnysideofthingswhenyouremiredinaproblemorare
dealingwithafailure.However,ifyoulookforwhatyoucanlearnfromproblemsand
failures,youllbelookingatthesunnyside.Moreimportant,youllbeonyourwayto
makingyouroptimismcometrue.

ChristopherReeveisnolongerwithus,butheexemplifiedtheideaoflookingatthe
sunnysideofthings.Eventhoughhewasparalyzedfromtheneckdownafterariding
accident,hedevotedhimselftofindingacureforspinalcordinjuries.Ilovethewayhis
optimismcomesacrossinthisquote

"Somanyofourdreamsatfirstseemimpossible,thentheyseemimprobable,
andthen,whenwesummonthewill,theysoonbecomeinevitable."

ChristopherReevelookedatthesunnysideofhisinjuryanddidwhathecouldtomake
hisoptimismcometrue.Hisfoundationcarriesontheworkhestarted.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
selfconfident.Selfconfidentpeopleareoptimists.Theyfollowthecareeradvicein
Tweet42inSuccessTweets.Chooseoptimism.Itbuildsyourconfidence.Believethat
todaywillbebetterthanyesterday,andthattomorrowwillbebetteryet.The
OptimistCreedisagreatguidetobecomingmoreoptimisticandselfconfident.Its
proactiveapproachtolifeisagreatguidetocreatingthelifeandcareersuccessyou

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wantanddeserve.Remembertheoldsaying,Whetheryoureanoptimist,ora
pessimistyoullbeprovenright.Ichooseoptimism,andsuggestyoudotoo.

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Optimismiscontagious.Becomeapositive,optimisticperson.Surroundyourselfwith
positivepeople.Theywillbuildyourconfidence.

TheFIFASoccerWorldCupisbeingcontestedinSouthAfricaasIwritethis.Butinthis
post,IdliketofocusonanotherWorldCup,the1995RugbyWorldCup,alsoplayedin
SouthAfrica.ThiswasthefirsttimetheSouthAfricaSpringbokswereallowedto
compete.TheyhadbeenbannedfromcompetinginpreviousRugbyWorldCups
becauseoftheracistpoliciesoftheapartheidgovernment.

But1995wasdifferent.NelsonMandela,ablackman,wasthePresidentofSouth
Africa.Theapartheiderawasover.AndtheSpringbokswereinvitednotonlytoplayin
theWorldCup,buttohostit.The2009movie,Invictus,chronicledthatstory.

Imaretiredrugbyplayer.Iplayedmyfirstgamein1968atPennStateandmylastin
2010onmy60thbirthdayfortheColoradoOlePokes.Imactiveinyouthrugbyand
oldeboysrugbyhereinColorado.Ilovethegame,soIcouldntwaittoseethemovie
Invictus.

InvictusisthestoryoftheSouthAfricanvictoryinthe1995RugbyWorldCup.That
victoryiscreditedforhealingmanyofthewoundscausedbytheapartheidyears.
NelsonMandelaconsciouslychosetosupporttheSpringbokslongseenasasymbolof
whiteoppressioninSouthAfricaandhatedbymostofthecountrysblackpopulation
asarallyingcryfornationalunityandputtingasidethehatredofthedehumanizing
apartheidpolicyofthewhiteSouthAfricangovernment.Theteamdidnotdisappoint.
TheywontheWorldCupinamemorablematchagainstNewZealand,thenthebest
rugbysideintheworld.

MorganFreemanplaysMandelainthefilm.MattDamonplaysSpringbokCaptain,
FrancoisPienaar.IlovedthemovieitwasrightupmyalleyabouttwothingsIlove
todiscuss:politicsandsports.Itwasabonusthatitwasaboutmyfavoritesport,rugby
football.Iactuallysawthatfamous1995matchonvideotwodaysafterithappened.
AsIwatchedit,IcommentedthatPienaarwasamadmanonthepitchthatday.He
willedtheSouthAfricanteamtovictory.

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CathymademyChristmasbygivingmeacopyofthebook,Invictusoriginally
publishedasPlayingtheEnemy.UntilIsawthemovieandreadthebook,Ihadnoidea
thatMandelabefriendedPienaarandconvincedhimthatthe1995RugbyWorldCup
wasmorethanagame;itwasachancetohelpunifyadeeplydividedcountry.Mandela
wasanoptimist.SowasPienaar.SouthAfricawasnottherugbypowertheyhadbeen
priortobeingshunnedbecauseofapartheid.However,thisunlikelypairfedoneach
othersoptimism,resultinginahugesportingupset.

NelsonMandelawassupremelyselfconfidentandanoptimist.Hebelievedthathe
couldhealthewoundsofoppressionanduniteacountrythroughtolerance.Healso
believedthatsportespeciallyrugbycouldplayabigpartinhelpinghimachievehis
goal.

Thereisaninterestingquoteonpages252and253ofInvictus

His(Mandelas)secretweaponwasthatheassumednotonlythathewouldlike
thepeoplehemet;heassumedalsothattheywouldlikehim.Thatvastself
confidenceofhiscoupledwiththatfrankconfidencehehadinothersmadefora
combinationthatwasasirresistibleasitwasdisarming.

Itwasaweaponsopowerfulthatitbroughtaboutanewkindofrevolution
Conceivingofhisrevolutionnotprimarilyasthedestructionofapartheidbut,
moreenduringly,astheunificationandreconciliationofallSouthAfricans,
Mandelabrokethemold.

Ittookasupremelyselfconfidentmantobelievethathecoulderaseyearsofhatredby
embracing,ratherthandestroyinghisenemy.Ittookasupremelyselfconfidentgroup
ofSouthAfricanrugbyplayerstobelievethattheycouldbeatthebestrugbysideinthe
world.BothNelsonMandelaandtheSpringboksprovedthevalueofselfconfidence
thatdayin1995.WhileunifyingthecountryandwinningtheRugbyWorldCuptooka
lotofhardwork,bothwereaccomplishedbybuildingonthefoundationofself
confidenceandoptimism.

MandelaandPienaarweretheembodimentofHelenKellersfamousquoteon
optimismandselfconfidence,Optimismisthefaiththatleadstoachievement.
Nothingcanbedonewithouthopeandconfidence.

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Ifyoulikesportsand/orpolitics,rentInvictus.Ifyourereallyinterestedinthesubject
matter,pickupacopyofthebookandreadit.Trustme,youwillbeinspirednotonly
bythestory,butbyhowoptimismiscontagious,andsurroundingyourselfwith
optimistic,confidentpeoplewillbuildyourselfconfidenceandhelpyoucreatethelife
andcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplefollow
thecareeradviceinTweet43inSuccessTweets.Optimismiscontagious.Becomea
positive,optimisticperson.Surroundyourselfwithpositivepeople.Theywillbuildyour
confidence.Successfulpeopleareselfconfidentandoptimistic.Theyfacetheirfears
andact.Theysurroundthemselveswithpositivepeople.Thestorytoldinthemovie
andbookInvictusdemonstratesthepowerofselfconfidenceandoptimism.Nelson
Mandelassupremeselfconfidenceallowedhimtounifyanationwhenmostthought
thatitwasheadedforabloodycivilwar.FrancoisPienaarandtheSpringbokrugbyside
believedthattheycoulddefeatthebestteamintheworldandwintheRugbyWorld
CupforSouthAfrica.Theydid,whenalloftheexpertspredictedtheywouldloseina
bigway.Whatsyourbighairyaudaciousgoalforyourlifeandcareer?Doyouhavethe
confidencethatyouwillachieveit?Ifyoudo,youarewellonyourwaytosuccess.

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Beanoptimist.Believethatthingswillturnoutwell.Whentheydont,dontsulk.
Learnwhatyoucan,useitnexttime.

Therearetwoimportantpiecesofcareeradviceaboutoptimismandlifeandcareer
successinthistweet.First,optimistsbelievethingswillturnoutwell.Second,optimists
seefailureanddefeatastemporary.Theytreatthemaslearningopportunities.

Haveyouseenthemovie,RemembertheTitans?Itsasportsmovieaboutan
improbablesituationbasedonatruestory.DenzelWashingtonstarsasthecoachof
theT.C.WilliamsHighSchoolTitans.Williamswasanewlyintegratedhighschoolin
Alexandria,Virginia,in1971.Denzelscharacter,CoachHermanBoone,wasablackman
chosentobetheheadcoachoveraverypopularcoachwhohadbeentheheadcoachat
thehighschoolpriortoitbeingintegrated.

Theteamhadalotofgoodathletes.TheywereundefeatedastheyenteredtheState
Championshipgame.Thingsdidntgowellinthefirsthalf.Inthelockerroomathalf
time,Denzelmakesaspeechinwhichhecongratulatestheteamoncomingsofarin
suchashortperiodoftime.Hetellsthemthatwinorloseheisproudofthem.Itseems
asifhehasgivenup.Itsoundslikeaspeechlosingcoachesgivetoteamsafteragame
notathalftime.

Oneoftheplayersspeaksup.Hechallengesthecoach.Hesayssomethinglike,We
wereperfectwhenthisgamestarted.Werestillperfectuntilitsover.I,forone,want
tofinishthisgamelikewestarteditperfect.Thisimpassionedspeechralliesthe
team,andtheywinthegame.Itsafeelgoodmovieaboutagroupofyoungmenwho
learnedhowtopulltogetherregardlessoftheirdifferences.

Anditmakesthefirstpointaboutoptimists.Evenwhenthecoachseemedreadytogive
up,oneplayerwouldnt.Hewasanoptimist.Hebelievedtheywouldwin.His
optimismwascontagious.Theteamralliedandwon.Idontknowifthingswentdown
exactlythatwayinthatlockerroom,butthatscenereinforcesthepowerofbelieving
thingswillturnoutwell.

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Ifyoudontbelieveyoucanwin,ifyoudontbelieveyoucancreateasuccessfullifeand
career,youwont.Ifyoudobelieve,ifyoureanoptimist,youreontherightpathto
winningandlifeandcareersuccess.

Butbelievingisnotenough.Itwillsetyouupforsuccess,butyouwillstillfindtimes
whenyoufail.ThatswherethesecondpieceofcareeradviceinTweet44comesin.
Dontsulkwhenyoufailorlose.Treateveryfailureandlossasalearningexperience.
Usefailuresandlossesassteppingstonestocreatingthelifeandcareersuccessyou
wantanddeserve.

Iwasfrustratedearlyinmycareer.IsawotherpeoplegettingpromotionsforwhichI
thoughtIwasbetterqualified.Myfirstjobinbusinesswasinthetrainingdepartment
ofalargeoilcompany.Iworkedhard,didagoodjobandkeptgettingpassedoverfor
promotion.Thereasonswerevagueyouveonlybeenherealittlewhile,thehiring
managerthoughttheotherpersonwasabetterfit,youneedtopolishupsomeof
thoseroughedges.

SoIfoundanotherjob;thistimewithachemicalcompany.Iworkedhard,didagood
job,gotgoodperformancereviewsandnopromotions.Iwasfrustrated.Inmyheart
ofhearts,IknewIwasasgoodasorbetterthanpeoplewhoweremovingaheadwhileI
wasstandingstill.

Idecidedthatmaybemoreschoolwouldbetheanswer.Iquitmyjob,andenrolledina
PhDprograminAdultEducationandOrganizationalBehavioratHarvard.OnceIgot
there,Irealizedthatthesamethinghappensinacademiaashappensinbusiness.The
hardestworkersandbestperformersdontalwaysgetrewardedandpromoted.

IdecidedthatIhadanopportunitytousemysituationandmyfrustrationasalab.I
didntsulk.Ichosetolearnfrommyfrustrationsandfailures.Afterall,Iwasat
Harvard.Iwassurroundedbyhighperformerspeoplewhohadachievedalotatan
earlyage,andseemeddestinedtoachieveevenmore.IdecidedthatmaybeIshould
paysomeattentiontothesefolks.

IgotoneofthosemarblecoverednotebooksandmadealistofallthepeopleIadmired
atHarvard.ThenImadealistofallthepeopleinthecompanieswhereIhadworked
whogotthepromotionsIdidnt.ImadeanotherlistofthepeopleIknewwhomI
consideredtobepositiverolemodels.Ididntstopthere.Istartedreadingbiographies

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ofsuccessfulpeople.Icreatedapageforeachperson.Iwrotedownthecharacteristics
thatIobservedinthesepeople.WhenIwasfinished,Ihadanotebookfullofthe
characteristicsIobservedinsuccessfulpeople.

Itwasalonglist.SoIdidkindofahumanregressionanalysisonit.Istartedlookingfor
patternsandgroupsofbehaviors.Whenitwasallsaidanddone,Ifoundfourdistinct
characteristicsthatthesuccessfulpeopleIhadstudiedhadincommon.

Theyall:

Hadaclearlydefinedpurposeanddirectionfortheirlives.
Werecommittedtosucceeding.Theyfacedobstaclesandovercamethem.
Wereselfconfident.Theyknewtheyweregoingtosucceedandcontinueto
succeedastheywentthroughlife.
Sharedsomebasiccompetencies.Theyknewhowtopresentthemselvesina
favorablelight.Otherpeoplewereattractedtothemandwantedtobearound
them.Theywerehighperformers.Theyweregreatcommunicators.Theywere
goodatbuildingrelationships.

Ifyouvebeenpayingattention,youveprobablyfiguredoutthatthesearetheideasI
coverinSuccessTweetsandwhatIvebeenbloggingaboutforthepastmonth.

OnceIfinishedmydegree,Itookajobwithaverylargepharmaceuticalcompanyin
NewYork.IstartedapplyingthelessonsIdlearnedfromobservingsuccessfulpeople
andIbegangettingpromotionsandgoodassignments.Ibecametheconfidantof
severalseniorexecutivesandIbegancoachingupandcomersinthecompany
teachingthemthebasicprinciplesIhaddiscoveredbywritingmyobservationsinthat
marblecoverednotebook.

Ialsokeptrefiningmyideasmakingthemeasierforotherstounderstandandapply.
Youneverlearnsomethingaswellaswhenyouteachit.Ibecamethemostsought
afterinternalcoachinthatcompany.

In1988,Iwasfacedwithadecision:acceptabigpromotiontoVicePresident,orstrike
outonmyown.IdecidedthatIhaveanentrepreneurialbentandchosethelatter.I
openedupasmallconsulting,coachingandspeakingbusiness.Theideawastoreach
evenmorepeoplewithwhatIknewaboutcreatingasuccessfullifeandcareer.

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Itellthisstorynottopatmyselfontheback,buttoillustratethesecondpointintodays
tweet:Whenthingsdontturnoutasyouhope,dontsulk.Learnwhatyoucan,useit
nexttime.

Thecommonsensesuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleareself
confidentandoptimistic.Optimismmeansbelievingthatthingswillturnoutwell,and
moreimportant,whentheydont,usingtheexperiencetolearnandgrowanddobetter
nexttime.FollowthecareeradviceinTweet44inSuccessTweets.Beanoptimist.
Believethatthingswillturnoutwell.Whentheydont,dontsulk.Learnwhatyoucan,
useitnexttime.Imbigonoptimism.Myoptimismhashelpedmecreatethecareer
andlifesuccessIwanted.Youroptimismcandothesameforyou.

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Everyoneisafraidsometime.Selfconfidentpeoplefacetheirfearsandact.Lookyour
fearsintheeyeanddosomething.

Fearistheenemyofselfconfidence.Selfconfidentpeoplefacetheirfearsandact.
Procrastinationisthemanifestationoffear.WhenIfindmyselfprocrastinating,Istop
andaskmyselfWhatareyouafraidofhere,Bud?

Usually,theanswerisonthe12mostcommonfearsonthelistbelow.Whichofthese
stopyoufrommovingforward?Whatareyoudoingaboutthem?

1. FearoffailureThistypeoffearhasitsrootsinthemisconceptionthat
everythingyoudohastobe100%successful.
2. FearofsuccessThistypeoffearisbasedontheideathatsuccessislikelyto
meanmoreresponsibilityandattention,coupledwithpressuretocontinueto
performatahighlevel.
3. FearofbeingjudgedThistypeoffearcomesfromtheneedforapprovalthat
mostpeopledevelopinchildhood.
4. FearofemotionalpainThistypeoffearisrootedinwantingtoavoidpotential
negativeconsequencesofyouractions.
5. FearofembarrassmentThistypeoffearisaresultofempoweringothersto
judgeyouwhenyoudemonstratethatyoureonlyhumanbymakingmistakes
andhavinglapsesofjudgment.
6. FearofbeingabandonedorbeingaloneThistypeoffearisrelatedtorejection
andlowselfesteem.
7. FearofrejectionThistypeoffearcomesfrompersonalizingwhatothersdo
andsay.
8. FearofexpressingyourtruefeelingsThistypeoffearholdsyoubackfrom
engaginginopen,honestdialoguewiththepeopleinyourlife.
9. FearofintimacyThistypeoffearmanifestsitselfbyanunwillingnesstolet
othersgettooclose,lesttheydiscovertherealyou.

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 10. FearoftheunknownThistypeoffearmanifestsitselfasneedlessworryabout
allofthebadthingsthatcouldhappenifyoudecidetomakeachangeinyour
life.
11. FearoflossThistypeoffearisrelatedtothepotentialpainassociatedwithno
longerhavingsomethingorsomeoneofemotionalsignificancetoyou.
12. FearofdeathTheultimatefearoftheunknown.Whatwillhappenonceour
spiritsleaveourbodies?

Byidentifyingyourfear,youaremorethanhalfwaytoconqueringit.Inthenextpost,I
willpresentmyfourstepplanfordealingwithfear.

Butinthemeantime,rememberthis.Actionistheantidotetofear.Inmost
cases,youllchoosewiselyandyourfearswontberealized.Inthecaseswhen
youchoosepoorly,youllfindthatfailureisntascatastrophicasyouimagined.
Successfulpeoplelearnfromtheirfailures.Bytakingactiononyourfears,you
winonbothcounts.Youwinifyoumakeagooddecisionandthingsworkout.
Youevenwinifyoumakeabaddecisionandthingsgopoorly,becauseyouhave
anopportunitytolearnfromyourdecisionandthesubsequentproblemsyou
faced.

Thecommonsensepointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleareselfconfident.Self
confidentpeoplefacetheirfearsandact.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinTweet45in
SuccessTweets.Everyoneisafraidsometime.Selfconfidentpeoplefacetheirfears
andact.Lookyourfearsintheeyeanddosomething.Procrastinationisthephysical
manifestationoffear.Whenyoufindyourselfprocrastinating,figureoutwhatscares
youaboutthesituation.Isitfearoffailure?Isitfearofsuccess?Isitfearofrejection?
Isitfearofbeingembarrassed?Isitfearoftheunknown?Onceyouvefiguredoutwhy
youareafraid,dothreethings:admityourfeartoyourself;embraceyourfear;take
action.Actionistheantidotetofear.

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Fourstepsfordealingwithfearthatcansabotageyoursuccess:identifyit,admitit,
acceptit,dosomethingaboutit.

Fearisnormal.Feariscommon.Fearishuman.However,fearisacareersuccesskiller.
Wereallafraidsometime.Successfulpeoplefacetheirfearsandact.Ivelearnedafew
thingsaboutfearovertheyears.

Fearbreedsindifference.Indifferencebreedsselfdoubtandworry.Often,its
easiertogowiththeflowanddonothingthanattempttodosomethingofwhich
youreafraid.Whenyousaytoyourself,ItsOK,itdoesntreallymatter
anyway,askthenextquestionWhatamIafraidofhere?Identifyingyour
fearisthefirststepindealingwithit.

Selfdoubtisaformofnegativeselftalk.Ourwordscanbecomeselffulfilling
prophecies.Positiveselftalkleadstosuccess.Negativeselftalkleadstofear
andfailure.Ifyoucatchyourselfsayingthingslike,Icantdothis;Illneverbe
successful;Illnevergetoutofthismess,thenyouneverwill.Ifyousaythings
like,Icandothis;Ihavewhatittakestosucceed;Icansolvethisproblem,
thenyouwill.

Worryandexcessivecautionwillparalyzeyou.Somepeoplespendsomuch
timeworryingaboutthebadthingsthatcouldormighthappenthattheynever
takeactionandactuallydosomethingtoprovethatgoodthingshappentoo.
Worryingtoomuchcanbringyouandyourlifetoascreechinghalt.

Aboatthatneverleavestheharborisprettysafe.However,itisnotdoingwhat
itismeanttobedoing.Thesameistrueforpeople.Ifyounevertakearisk,
youllneverknowwhatyouarecapableofaccomplishing.

Herearemytipsfordoingbattlewithyourfears.

1) Identifywhatyoufear.Figureoutwhyyoureafraid.Isitfearoffailure?
Isitfearofmakingthewrongdecision?Isitfearofalostopportunity?

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 Areyouafraidthatyouarentuptotask?Onceyouidentifythereason
behindyourfear,youarewellonthewaytoovercomingit.

2) Admitwhatyoufear.ItsOKtobeafraid.Youwouldntbehumanifyou
wereneverafraid.Acommondefinitionofcourageistheabilitytofeel
fearandstilldowhatyouneedtodo,regardless.In1988,Ifacedavery
frighteningdecision.ShouldIstayinacomfortablebutultimately
unsatisfyingjobwithalargecorporation,orshouldIstartmyown
business?Iwasafraidoffailing.FailingmeantthatIwouldlosemy
savingsandhavetostartoveragain,lookingforajobinanother
corporation.However,onceIidentifiedandadmittedmyfear,Iwasable
totakethenextstepacceptance.

3) Acceptwhatyoufear.Acceptingyourfearsisimportant,becauseit
showsthatyouknowyourehuman.OnceIacceptedthatIwasafraidof
failing,Iwasabletostartmybusinessandsucceed.Infact,Iembraced
myfearoffailure.Itmademeworkharder;itpushedmetoworkthe
longhoursandlearntheentrepreneurshiplessonsnecessarytobe
successfulasaselfemployedcoach,consultantandspeaker.

4) Takeaction.Actioncuresfear.Itisthemostimportantofthesefour
steps.Dosomething!Theworstthingthatcanhappenisthatyoullfind
itwasthewrongthingtodoandyouwillhaveeliminatedatleastone
thingfromyourlistofpossibleactions.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplefollow
thecareeradviceinTweet46inSuccessTweets.Fourstepsfordealingwithfearthat
cansabotageyoursuccess:identifyit,admitit,acceptit,dosomethingaboutit.Action
istheantidotetofear.Inmostcases,youllmakegooddecisionsandyourfearswont
berealized.Inthecaseswhenyouchoosepoorly,youllfindthatfailureisntas
catastrophicasyouimagined.Successfulpeoplelearnfromtheirfailures.Bytaking
actiononyourfears,youwinonbothcounts.Youwinifyoumakeagooddecisionand
thingsworkout.Youevenwinifyoumakeabaddecisionandthingsgopoorly,because
youhaveanopportunitytolearnfromyourdecisionandthesubsequentproblemsyou
faced.

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Act.Feelthefearanddoitanyway.Thatsthedefinitionofcourage,andagreatway
tobuildyourselfconfidence.

IsubscribetoSharonMelnicksonlinenewsletter.Inarecentpost,shemadeseveral
interestingpointsaboutconfidence.

Confidencewillhelpyoubeflexible.Youwillconsiderallalternativesand
options.

Confidencewillhelpyoufollowthroughonideasthatyoumightotherwisetalk
yourselfoutof.

Confidencewillhelpyoubepersistentandholdontoyourvisionforyourlife.

Shesright.Confidenceisthefoundationofallsuccess.Withoutit,youwillhavea
difficulttimesucceeding.Tobuildyourselfconfidence,youhavetobeoptimistic,face
yourfearsandsurroundyourselfwithpositivepeople.

Fearisagreatconfidenceandsuccesskiller.ElbertHubbard,theauthorofAMessage
toGarcia(http://budbilanich.com/garcia),oneofthebestessaysonpersonal
responsibilityeverwritten,hassomegreatthingstosayaboutfacingyourfears.

Thegreatestmistakeyoucanmakeiscontinuallyfearingthatyouwillmake
one.

Readthatagain.Those14wordsarepowerful!Theyaresomefundamentalcareer
advice.

Ifyouletyourfearofmakingamistakestopyoufromtakingaction,youwillnevertake
anyactionandyourfearwillruinyourlifeandanychanceofcreatingthecareersuccess
youwantanddeserve.

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In1988Iwasreadytostartmycareersuccesscoachandspeakingbusiness.Iwas
afraid.IwasworriedthatIwouldntsucceed.Ihadalwaysworkedforlargecompanies.
IwasntsureIknewexactlywhattodotorunasuccessfulcareersuccesscoach
business.Nevertheless,Ilookedmyfearintheeye,quitmyjobandmovedforward.
Twentytwoyearslater,Imstillatit.Myfearswereunfoundedbuttheywerereal.
ImgladIfacedthemandacted.

Fearispersistent.Itdoesntgoaway.Itwillwaitforoneofyourweakmomentsand
thenitwillstrike.Ifyouletitgetthebestofyou,youllnevermoveforward.

Fearmostoftenmanifestsitselfinprocrastination.WhenIfindmyselfprocrastinating,I
alwaysaskmyself,Whatareyouafraidofhere,Bud?IdentifyingwhatIfearalways
helpmedefeatit.OnceIidentifywhatIamafraidof,Icantakepositivestepstomove
forwardthroughmyfearandontosuccess.

Makealistofyourdoubtsandfears.Decidewhatyoucandotoovercomethem.Then
act.Takeatleastonepositiveactionnomatterhowsmalleverydaytoovercome
yourdoubtsandfears.Eveniftheseactionsdontworkoutaswellasyouhope,youwill
beontheroadtoovercomingyourfearsandcreatingthelifeandcareersuccessyou
wantanddeserve.

Remember,procrastinationfeedsfear,andactioncuresit.Thechoiceisuptoyou.I
chooseaction.Mybestcareeradvicesaysyoushould,too.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
selfconfident.Selfconfidentpeopledontlettheirfearsgetinthewayoftheirsuccess.
TheyfollowthecareeradviceinTweet47inSuccessTweets.Act.Feelthefearanddo
itanyway.Thatsthedefinitionofcourage,andagreatwaytobuildyourself
confidence.Identifyyourfears,andthendowhatyouneedtodotomovepastthem.
Actionisthegreatantidotetofear.Itputsinertiaonyourside.Onceyouaremoving
forward,youarelikelytocontinuemovingforward.Itsthefirststepthatisthehardest
andscariest.Ifyouwanttobeatyourfears,youneedtotakethefirststepact,and
thenkeepongoing.

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Procrastinationisthephysicalmanifestationoffearandisaconfidencekiller.Act;
especiallywhenyoureafraid.

AsIvementionedinpreviouspostsonSuccessTweets45,46and47,fearistheenemy
ofselfconfidenceandsuccess.Fearoftenmanifestsitselfasprocrastination.Most
peoplefearfailure,criticismandrejection.Itsonlynormal.Weallwanttofeelgood
aboutourselves.Failure,criticismandrejectionarenotpleasantexperiences.They
lowerourselfesteemandmakeusfeelbadaboutourselves,soweoftenavoiddoing
thingsthatwethinkmightleadtofailure,criticismorrejection.Asacareersuccess
coach,Iadvisemyclientstohavethecouragetodothingsthatmightresultinfailure,
criticismorrejection.

Failure,criticismandrejectionprovideyouwiththeopportunitytogrowanddevelop
tobecomealifeandcareersuccess.Youcanttakefailure,criticismandrejection
personally.Failure,criticismandrejectionareoutcomes.Theyarearesultofthingsyou
havedone.Theyarenotwhoyouare.

Rememberthiscareeradvice.Weallmakemistakesandfailonoccasion.Wealldo
thingsthatcauseotherstocriticizeorrejectus.Thisdoesntmeanthatwearefailures
aspeople.Itmeansthatwehavemadesomepoorchoicesandhavedonesomedumb
things.

Failure,criticismandrejectionprovidetheopportunitytostartoverhopefullyalittle
smarter.BuckminsterFulleroncesaid,Whateverhumanshavelearnedhadtobe
learnedasaconsequenceoftrialanderrorexperience.Humanshavelearnedonly
throughmistakes.Thatsgreatcareeradvice.Iagreewithitwholeheartedly.

Fearleadstoprocrastination.Thatswhyputtingoffthingsyouwanttodo,andneedto
docanreallyhurtyourselfconfidenceandcareersuccess.Ifyourfearoffailure,
criticism,andrejectionparalyzesyoutothepointwhereyouarentwillingtotake
calculatedrisks,youllneverlearnanythingoraccomplishanyofyourgoals.

Dontbeafraidtofail,ortoohardonyourselfwhenyoufailorwhenotherscriticizeor
rejectyou.Instead,putyourenergyintofiguringoutwhyyoufailedandthendo

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somethingdifferent.Herearemyfourcareersuccesscoachquestionstoaskyourself
thenexttimeyoufail,orgetcriticizedorrejected.

1. WhydidIfail?WhydidIgetcriticizedorrejected?WhatdidIdotocausethe
failure,criticismorrejection?

2. WhatcouldIhavedonetopreventthefailure,criticismorrejection?

3. WhathaveIlearnedfromthissituation?

4. WhatwillIdodifferentlythenexttime?

Ifyoudothis,youllbebetterabletofaceyourfearsandact;andyoullbeusingfailure,
criticismandrejectiontoyouradvantage.InThinkandGrowRich,NapoleonHillsays

Everyadversity,everyfailure,andeveryheartachecarrieswithittheseedofan
equivalentorgreaterbenefit.

Iknowitshardtoseethebenefitoropportunityinfailure,criticismandrejection.But
itsthereyoujusthavetolookhardenough.Butitallbeginsbyfacingyourfearand
acting;byconqueringprocrastination.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleareself
confident.Selfconfidentpeoplefacetheirfearsandact.Theyfollowthecareeradvicein
Tweet48inSuccessTweets.Procrastinationisthephysicalmanifestationoffearandisa
confidencekiller.Act;especiallywhenyoureafraid.Ourmostcommonfearsarefailure,
criticismandrejection.However,ifyouchoosetofindandusethelearningopportunityin
failure,criticismandrejectionyouwillnotonlybecomemoreselfconfident,youwillbecome
moresuccessful.Itssadbuttruefailure,criticismandrejectionarethepriceyoupayfor
becomingapersonalandprofessionalsuccess.Beatingprocrastinationbyfacingyourfearof
failure,criticismandrejectionandactingwillpaybigdividendsandhelpyoucreatethelife
andcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.

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Surroundyourselfwithpositivepeople.Holdthemclose.Theywillgiveyouenergy
andhelpyoucreatethesuccessyouwantanddeserve.

Successfulpeoplesurroundthemselveswithpositivepeoplepeoplewhoareboth
positivebynature,andpositiveabouttheirlifeandcareersuccess.Positivepeopleare
optimistic;andasIvediscussedinthepostonTweet44,optimismisthefirststepin
buildingyourselfconfidenceandlifeandcareersuccess.

Positivepeoplehelpyoufeelgoodaboutyourself,becausetheyfeelgoodabout
themselvesandlifeingeneral.Theyhelpyoubuildyourselfesteembecausethey
haveastrongsenseofselfesteem.Positivepeoplearetherewhenyoubegintodoubt
yourself.Theyarenotthreatenedbyyouoryoursuccess.Theyrealizethatselfesteem
isnotafixedpie.Thereisanunlimitedamountofittogoaround,sopositivepeople
arealwaysgivingitaway.Heresabitofcareeradvice.Buildyourselfconfidenceand
jumpstartyourlifeandcareersuccessbyspendingyourtimewithupbeat,positive
people.

Nottoolongago,Ididatalkforalocalrealestatecompany.Thiswasattheheightof
thesubprimemortgagecrisis,notagoodtimetobeintherealestatebusiness.As
peopleenteredtheroomandsawme,mostcameoverandaskedifIwerethespeaker,
andintroducedthemselves.Thiswasgreat,becauseithelpedputmeatease.OnceI
knewpeoplesnames,itwaseasiertofeelrelaxedandenjoydoingmytalk.

Asthemoderatorkickedoffthesession,sherecognizedseveralpeopleinattendance,
allofwhomgotaniceroundofapplausefortheiraccomplishments.Whenshe
introducedme,theaudiencealsoapplauded.Duringmytalk,Icouldseepeopletaking
notesandnoddingtheirheadsasIspoke.Allofthismadeiteasierformetoconnect
withthemasanaudienceanddoabetterjobonmytalk.Myselfconfidencewas
buoyedbythepositiveenergyIobservedpriortoandduringmytalk.

Imaprofessionalspeaker.Idolotsofspeeches.AndIgetalittlenervousbeforeeach
one.Iwelcomethesenerves,becauseIknowtheyaremybodyswayoftellingmethat

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Iamupforthepresentation.IworrywhenImnotalittlenervous,asthatisan
indicatorthatImightbealittleflatduringthetalk.

However,becausethepeopleattherealestatecompanyintroducedthemselvestome
priortomytalk,Iknewthatthiswasapositiveaudience.Istillhadthepositive
butterflies,butmynerveswereincheckandmyselfconfidencehighbecauseofthe
positiveenergyintheroom.

WhenIgottothepartinmytalkaboutsurroundingyourselfwithpositivepeople,
everyoneintheaudiencenodded.TheygotittheyknewexactlywhatIwastalking
about.Afterthetalk,afewpeoplecameuptometodiscussthatverypoint.Theysaid
thatbeinginthecompanyofpositivepeoplewasoneofthemostimportantaspectsof
theirsuccess.

Thisisasmallexample,butatellingone.Tosucceedinsales,youhavetobeself
confident.Byitsverynature,sellinginvolvesalotofsetbacksandrejection.Ittakesa
selfconfidentpersontomakethesixthcallafternotgettinganywhereontheprevious
five.Successfulsalespeoplefaceanddealwiththeirfearsofrejection.Andtheyseek
outpositivepeopletohelpthemstaymotivatedtokeepdoingwhatittakestosucceed.

Thisisimportantinotheraspectsoflifeaswell.Thepeoplearoundyouhavean
amazingimpactonyourviewoflife.Whenyousurroundyourselfwithnegativeor
cynicalpeople,youbecomenegativeandcynical.Ontheotherhand,whenyou
surroundyourselfwithpositive,selfconfidentpeople,youbecomepositiveandself
confident.

Thechoiceisyours.Ichoosetosurroundmyselfwithpositivepeople.Notonlydothey
helpmyselfconfidence,theyaremorefuntobearound.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Noonecangoitalone.
FollowthecareeradviceinTweet49inSuccessTweets.Surroundyourselfwith
positivepeople.Holdthemclose.Theywillgiveyouenergyandhelpyoucreatethe
successyouwantanddeserve.Positivepeoplearegreat.Theyfeelgoodabout
themselvesandlifeingeneral.Theyareenthusiasticandtheirenthusiasmis
contagious.Whenyousurroundyourselfwithpositivepeople,youllbecomemore
positiveandenthusiastic.And,youllbeonyourwaytocreatingthelifeandcareer

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successyouwantanddeserve.Whoarethemostpositivepeopleyouknow?Getto
knowthembetter,spendmoretimewiththem.

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Jettisonthenegativepeopleinyourlife.Theyareenergyblackholes.Theywillsuck
youdry,butonlyifyouletthem.

Positivepeopleareoptimistic.Negativepeopletendtobepessimists.Iwasleadinga
workshoponcareerandlifesuccesstheotherdayandImentionedthatselfconfidence
isthehingeonwhichlifeandcareersuccessswings,andthatoptimismisthemost
importantingredientintheselfconfidencemix.Ontheotherhand,pessimismcan
causethesuccesshingetorustandbecomedifficulttoswing.Thatswhysomeofmy
bestcareeradviceistoholdtighttothepositivepeopleinyourlifeandrunasfastas
youcanfromthenegativeones.

Forme,optimismbeginswiththetenpointsofTheOptimistCreed.Ihavegivenawaya
couplethousandcopiesofTheOptimistCreed.Ifyouwouldlikeone,justgoto
http://budbilanich.com/optimist.

Letstakealookatthedifferencebetweenpositive,optimisticpeopleandnegative,
pessimisticpeople.

Positive,optimisticpeopletendtoseeproblems,failuresandsetbacksas
temporary.
Negative,pessimisticpeopletendtoseeproblems,failuresandsetbacksas
permanentalmosttheirdestiny.

Positive,optimisticpeopleseeproblems,failuresandsetbacksasisolated
occurrences.
Negative,pessimisticpeopleseeproblems,failuresandsetbacksasomnipresent
thingsfromwhichyoucantescape.

Positive,optimisticpeopledonttakeproblems,failuresandsetbackspersonally.
Negative,pessimisticpeoplepersonalizeproblems,failuresandsetbacks.

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Ifyoureadthisblogwithanyregularity,youknowthatIamanincurableoptimist.Isee
problems,failuresandsetbacksnotonlyastemporary,butasopportunitiestolearnand
grow.Iexpectthingstogowell.WhenIrunintoproblems,failuresandsetbacks,Im
alwaysalittlesurprisedbecauseIdontexpectthem.Ido,however,planforthem.
Finally,Inevertakeaproblem,failureorsetbackpersonally.Imahumanbeing.
SometimesImakegreatdecisions.SometimesImakepoorones.Myselfworthisnot
threatenedbytheoccasionalproblem,failureorsetback.

And,Ichoosetohangaroundwithpositive,notnegativepeople.

ImabigfanofMarkTwain.Oneofmyfavoritequotesofhisgetsattheheartof
surroundingyourselfwithpositivepeopleandjettisoningthenegativepeopleinyour
life

Keepawayfrompeoplewhotrytobelittleyourambitions.Smallpeoplealways
dothat,butthereallygreatmakeyoufeelthatyou,too,canbecomegreat.

Negativepeopleareadragonyourgoalsandyourambitions.Theyarequicktotellyou
whatyoucantdo,offerlittleencouragement,andhatetoseeyouprovethemwrongby
succeeding.Holdthesekindsofpeopleatarmslength.Dontspendtimewiththem.
Instead,investinfriendshipswithpositive,upbeatpeople;thekindofpeoplewhonot
onlydontbelittleyourambitions,butdowhattheycantohelpyoumakethema
reality.

Cynicsarenegativepeople.Theyarealsodangerous,becausetheyareseductive.They
alwayshavesomethingwittytosayaboutothersusuallyothersshortcomings.At
first,theyseemtobefunnyandamusing.Butspendtimewithcynics,andyoullfind
thattheyhavelittlejoyinlifeexceptinpointingoutandrevelinginothersproblems
andfailures.

AmbroseBiercemaywellbetheworldsbiggestcynic.Ioftenseequotesattributedto
himonline.Intheearly20thcentury,hepublishedabookcalledTheDevilsDictionary.
EvenIadmitthatsomeofhisdefinitionsareprettyfunny.However,Igettiredand
frustratedafterreadingmorethanoneortwo.HereareacoupleofquotesfromThe
DevilsDictionary

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 Optimism:Thedoctrinethateverythingisbeautiful,includingwhatisugly,everything
good,especiallythebad,andeverythingrightthatiswrong...Itishereditary,but
fortunatelynotcontagious.

Calamities:Twokindsmisfortunestoourselves,andgoodfortunetoothers.

NowonderoleAmbrosewascalledBitterBiercebyhiscontemporaries.First,he
bashesoptimism,thenhesuggeststhathumanbeingsseethegoodfortuneofothersas
apersonalcalamity.

HereareacoupleofotherentriesinTheDevilsDictionary

Politeness:Themostacceptablehypocrisy.

Perseverance:Alowlyvirtuewherebymediocrityachievesaninglorious
success.

DoyouknowanypeoplelikeAmbroseBierce?Ifyoudo,mybestcareeradviceisto
holdthematarmslength.Whileyoumayfindthemtobewittyandentertainingat
first,theywilldragyoudowninthelongrun.Theywillnothelpyoucreatethelifeand
careersuccessyouwantanddeserve.

Point6ofTheOptimistCreedsays

Promiseyourselftobejustasenthusiasticaboutthesuccessofothersasyou
areofyourown.

Thisis180degreesfromwhatAmbrosehastosay.Successful,selfconfidentpeople
arentjealousorupsetbythesuccessofothers.Theyaregenuinelypleasedwhenthey
seeotherssucceed.Theyseethesuccessofothersasaninspiration.Theyuseitto
motivatethemselvestoachievebiggerandbettersuccesses.Negativepeoplechooseto
seeotherssuccessesasapersonalaffront.Takeitfromacareersuccesscoach,these
kindsofpeoplewillnothelpyoucreatethelifeandcareersuccessyouwantand
deserve.

TheNoAssholeRule:BuildingaCivilizedWorkplaceandSurvivingOneThatIsnt,abook
byRobertSuttonofStanfordUniversity,doesagreatjobofdefiningnegativepeople
orassholesashecallsthem.ThefirstchapteriscalledWhatAssholesDoandWhy

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YouKnowSoMany.Onpage10,helistsTheDirtyDozen:CommonEverydayActions
ThatAssholesUse.Checkitout.

1. Personalinsults.
2. Invadinganotherspersonalterritory.
3. Uninvitedphysicalcontact.
4. Verbalandnonverbalthreatsandintimidation.
5. Sarcasticjokesandteasingusedasinsultdeliverysystems.
6. Witheringemailflames.
7. Statusslapsintendedtohumiliatevictims.
8. Publicshamingorstatusdegradationrituals.
9. Rudeinterruptions.
10. Twofacedattacks.
11. Dirtylooks.
12. Treatingpeopleasiftheyareinvisible.

Ifyouvespentanytimeinalargeorganization,orevenasmallone,youveprobably
beenonthereceivingendofmanyoftheseassholebehaviors.Truthbetold,youve
probablybeenonthegivingendofmanyoftheseassholebehaviorsaswell.Idontlike
toadmitit,butIhavebeenboththevictimandperpetratorofsomeofthesebehaviors.

Dr.Suttonexplainswhyanoassholerulehelpscreateahealthy,vibrantworkplace

Allowingafewcreepstomakethemselvesathomeinyourcompanyis
dangerous.Thetruthisthatassholesbreedlikerabbits.Theirpoisonquickly
infectsothers.Evenworse,ifyouletthemmakehiringdecisions,theywillstart
cloningthemselves.

Heswritingforleaders,encouragingthemtocreatewhathecallsassholefree
workplaces.

Isuggestthatyoucreateanassholefreelife.Dontletnegativepeople,assholesif
youwill,intoyourlife.Holdthematarmslength.Inmycareersuccesscoachtalks,I
amendhisquote.Itellpeople

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 Allowingafewcreepstomakethemselvesathomeinyourlifeisdangerous.
Theirpoisonwillquicklyinfectyou.Assholestrytoclonethemselves.Spendtoo
muchtimewiththemandyouruntheriskofbecomingone.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereisclear.Successful,selfconfident
peopledontletnegativepeopleintotheirlives.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinTweet
50inSuccessTweets.Jettisonthenegativepeopleinyourlife.Theyareenergyblack
holes.Theywillsuckyoudry,butonlyifyouletthem.Avoidcynics.Theyarejealous
andpetty,unhappywhenotherssucceed.AsDr.SuttonofStanfordsuggests,avoid
assholespeoplewhoarerude,insulting,sarcasticandtwofaced.Theywillonlydrag
youdown.Makeaconsciouschoicetospendtimewithpositive,optimisticpeople.
Avoidnegative,pessimisticones.

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Findamentor.Mentorsarepositivepeoplewhowillhelpyoufindthelessonsinyour
experienceandusethemtomoveforward.

Thisisalongpost,becausementorsareanimportantsourceofcareeradvice.Theterm
mentorcomesfromTheOdyssey.Odysseusentrustedthecareofhisson,
Telemachus,toMentorwhenhesetouttofighttheTrojanWar.Thebestmentorswill
helpyoulearnandgrowbysharingtheirknowledgeandwisdomwithyou.Inthisway,
youcanbenefitfromtheirexperiencewithouthavingtosuffertheconsequencesof
gainingthatexperiencefirsthand.

Mentorsarepositivepeoplebydefinition.Ittakesapositivepersontogiveofhimselfor
herselftohelpanotherlearn,growandsucceed.

Ihavebeenfortunatetohavehadseveralmentorsinmylifeandcareer.Allofthem
sharedseveralcharacteristics.Theyall

Werewillingtosharetheirwisdom,knowledge,skillsandexpertise.
Hadapositiveoutlookonlife.Theyhelpedmethroughtoughtimesandshowed
mehowtofindtheopportunityinthedifficultiesIwasfacing.
Weregenuinelyconcernedaboutmeandmysuccess.Inadditiontobeing
knowledgeable,theywereempathic.
Reallyknewwhattheyweredoing.Irespectedthemfortheirknowledgeand
skills.
Keptgrowingthemselves.Allofmymentorswerecuriousandinquisitive.
Sometimestheroleswerereversed.TheyaskedwhatIwasreading,andthen
readthebooksthemselvessotheycouldlearnandwecoulddiscusstheideas.
Gavemedirect,constructivefeedback.Theyheldmetohighstandards.They
congratulatedmewhenImettheirexpectations.TheycorrectedmewhenIfailed
todosobutinamannerwhereIlearnedwhatnottodothenexttime.
Wererespectedbytheircolleagues.Peoplewhoarehighlyregardedintheirfield
orcompanymakethebestmentors.
Soughtoutandvaluedtheopinionsofothers.Mybestmentoralwaystoldmeto
listenmostcarefullytothepeoplewithwhomIdisagreedinthatwayImight
learnsomething.And,hewasright.

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Astheoldsayinggoes,amentorissomeonewhosehindsightcanbecomeyour
foresight.

Doyouwanttofindamentor?Justlookaroundyou.Whoarethepeopleyouadmire
andwanttoemulate?Watchwhattheydo,anddothesame.Ivehadseveralmentors
whoneverevenrealizedtheywerementoringme.

IlearnedhowtobuildanetworkofsolidcontactsbywatchingMaggieWatson.I
learnedtherulesofbusinessetiquetteanddressingforsuccessbywatchingBillRankin.
IlearnedhowtobecomeafirstratepublicspeakerbywatchingSteveRoesler.Ilearned
howtobecomeatrustedadvisorbywatchingDonNelson.Ilearnedhowtocarry
myselfwithdignityineventhemostdifficultsituationsbywatchingJFandCarol
Kiernan.IlearnedhowtobecomeabetterconversationalistbywatchingCathy,my
wife.

Thereverseisalsotrue.Ivelearnedplentyaboutwhatnottodotobuildselfesteem,
giveperformancefeedbackandtreatpeoplewithrespectanddignityfromobservinga
fewofmymanagersovertheyears.

Ivefoundthatifyouwanttohaveanacknowledgedmentoringrelationship,allyou
havetodoisask.Gotothepeopleyouadmireandtellthemthatyouadmiretheir
judgmentandwouldliketolearnfromthem.Askifyoucanimposeontheirtimetoget
answerstoquestionsyouhave.IhaveneverhadanyoneturnmedownwhenIveasked
thisway.

Justasitsimportanttofindsomeoneyourespecttomentoryou,italsoimportantto
mentorothers.Youdonthavetobeinaformalleadershippositionorhaveyearsand
yearsofexperiencetomentorsomeoneelse.Itsnevertooearlytobecomeamentor.
Weallhavesomethingtogive,andthesooneryoubegingiving,thebetter.Ifyourein
college,youcanmentorhighschoolstudents.Ifyourearecentgraduate,youcan
mentorothersstillinschool.

Itakegreatjoyinmentoringotherpeople.IloveitwhenIcanusemyexperienceto
helpacceleratethegrowthofsomeoneelse.Ittakesthestingoutofsomeofthe
negativeconsequencesIveexperiencedbecauseofpoorjudgment.Ithinktomyself,
Atleastheorshewonthavetogothroughthat.

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Inhisgreatbook,LoveistheKillerApp,TimSanderstellsthestoryofhowheturnedone
ofthepeoplewhoworkedforhimfromamaddogintoalovecat.Theadviceis
simple:OfferyourwisdomfreelyAndalwaysbehuman.

Timisrighton.Mentoringisagreatwaytobecomealovecatbyservingothers.The
moreyouserveothers,themoreconfidenceandsuccesswillcomeyourway.
Besidesthat,youllgrowbymentoring.Asyoureflectonyourlifeexperiencesand
distillthemintosomenuggetsthatyoucansharewithothers,yourknowledgewill
becomewisdom.Inadditiontobeingbetterabletohelpotherslearnandgrow,youwill
bebetterabletotakeadvantageofwhatyouknow.Youneverlearnsomethingso
completelyaswhenyouteachittoanotherperson.

Anymentoringrelationshipneedstofocusonthepersonbeingmentored.While
mentoringsomeonewillmostoftenbeasatisfyingexperienceforyou,rememberthatit
isnotaboutyouitsabouttheotherperson.Accepthimorherforwhoheorsheis.
Helphimorherproceedathisorherownpace.Thebestmentoringrelationshipsare
guidedbythepersonbeingmentored.

Mentoringshouldbeapositiveexperienceforbothofyou.Thatmeansthatyouneed
toavoidtreatingapersonyouarementoringasincompetentorincapable.Rather,
thinkofhimorherassomeonelackinginexperienceandwhoneedsguidance.Dont
criticize.Helptheotherpersonthinkthroughtheconsequencesofhisorherbehavior
andtoidentifymorepositivewaysofhandlingdifficultortroublingsituations.

Holdthepersonyouarementoringresponsibleforhisorhersuccess.Givehimorher
smallassignments.Dontlethimorheroffthehookifheorshefailstocompletethem.
Bewillingtogiveofyourselfandyourtime,butmakesuretheotherpersonisdoingso,
too.

Realizethattherelationshipwillend.Ifyouvedoneagoodjob,thepersonyouare
mentoringwillneedtomoveonatsomepoint.Itsallpartofthecycle.Itcanbehard
toletgo,butfeelgoodaboutseeingsomeonemoveontobiggerandbetterthings
andanothermentor.

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Ivecreatedanacronymtodefinewhatittakestobecomeagoodmentor.Agood
mentor

M Motivatesyoutoaccomplishmorethanyouthinkyoucan.

E Expectsthebestofyou.

N Nevergivesuponyouorletsyougiveuponyourself.

T Tellsyouthetruth,evenwhenithurts.

O Occasionallykicksyourbutt.

R Reallycaresaboutyouandyoursuccess.

Lookforpeoplewiththesequalitieswhenyouaresearchingforamentor.Embody
themyourselfwhenyouarementoringothers.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Mentorscanhelpyou
createthelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.Successpeoplefollowthe
careeradviceinTweet51inSuccessTweets.Findamentor.Mentorsarepositive
peoplewhowillhelpyoufindthelessonsinyourexperiencesandusethemtomove
forward.Youcanenterintoaformalmentoringrelationship.Oryoucanjustobserve
peopleyouadmire.Theycanmentoryouwithoutevenrealizingthattheyaredoingso.
And,itsnevertooearlytobecomeamentoryourself.Thereisalwayssomeonewho
needsyourcareeradvice;someonewhoneedstoknowwhatyouvealreadylearned.
Beapositiveperson.Helpothersachievethelifeandcareersuccesstheywantand
deserve.

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Identifytheselfconfidentpeopleyouknow.Payattentiontohowtheyactandcarry
themselves.Watchwhattheydo.Actlikethem.

Imabasketballfan.Ilikehighschool,collegeandprobasketball.Iespeciallyenjoythe
NCAAbasketballtournamentMarchMadness,asitscalled.InMarchof2009,Idida
blogpostinwhichItoldthestoryoftinySienaCollegesupsetofOhioStateintheNCAA
tournament.Partofthatstoryisworthrepeatinghere

SienaisasmallliberalartscollegenearAlbany,NewYork.Ithasatotal
enrollmentofabout3,000.OhioStateisoneofthelargestuniversitiesintheUS.
Ithasatotalenrolmentofover60,000.IbettherearesomedormsatOhioState
thathavemoreresidentsthanthetotalnumberofstudentsenrolledatSiena.

NoneofthatmatteredlastFridaynight.SienabeatOhioState7472.Ittookthem
twoovertimeperiodstodoit,buttheydidit.TheSaints,asSienasteamiscalled,were
losingby11pointsatonepointinthesecondhalf.Theydemonstratedthepowerof
optimism.Theyrefusedtoquit.Theybelievedinthemselves.Andtheywonahard
foughtvictory.

Thisisagreatstoryinandofitself.However,RonaldMooresstoryisevenbetter.
RonaldistheSienapointguard.Asthefirstovertimeperiodwaswindingdown,he
foundhimselfwiththeballandSienatrailingby3points.Atthatpointhewas0for4in
threepointshootinginthegame.Heshotandmadeathreepointbasketthatsentthe
gameintoasecondovertime.Thenhediditagain!With3.9secondsremaininginthe
secondovertime,andSienalosingby1,Ronaldmadeanotherthreepointshottowin
thegame.

RonaldMooremadehislasttwothreepointshotattemptsaftermissinghisfirstfour.
Thattakessomeguts.Hehadntmadeathreepointshotinover44minutesofplay,yet
withthegameontheline,hemadenotone,buttwo,threepointerstowinthegame.
Talkaboutfacingyourfearsandacting.Ronalddemonstratedthepowerofoptimismby
hiswillingnesstotaketheshotsheneededtowinthegame.Goodforhimandfor
Siena.

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RonaldMooredemonstratedsupremeselfconfidenceintheSienawininthe2009
NCAAbasketballtournament.Hewaswillingtotakeathreepointshotinovertime
whenhehadntmadeoneallgame.Ifyouwanttocreatethelifeandcareersuccess
youwantanddeserve,youneedtofollowRonaldsexample.Takeyourbestshot,even
whenthingsarentgoingwell.Lookyourfearintheeyeandact.

RonaldMooresandthe2009Sienabasketballteamsstoryisnice,butyoudonthave
tolookforathletestoshowyouhowtoactinaselfconfidentmanner.Youcanfind
selfconfidentpeopleallaroundyou.

Ibetyouknowsomeonewhoisinsales.Watchhimorhermakeseveralcallsoneday
withoutasinglesaleandthengetupthenextdayanddoitagain.Thatsself
confidence.

Youprobablyknowsomeonewhoisinbusinessforhimselforherself.Watchhimorher
goaboutbuildinghisorherbusiness.Thatsselfconfidence.

SummerisbudgettimeinmanyUScorporations.Ifyouworkforoneofthem,you
probablyknowsomepeoplewhohavetodobudgetpresentations.Watchthemasthey
prepareandpresent.Thatsselfconfidence.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successful,selfconfident
peoplefollowtheadviceinTweet52inSuccessTweets.Identifytheselfconfident
peopleyouknow.Payattentiontohowtheyactandcarrythemselves.Watchwhat
theydo.Actlikethem.Selfconfidentpeopleareallaroundyou.Ifyoupayattention
towhattheydoandhowtheyact,youllnoticethattheyhaveseveralthingsin
common.Theyareoptimistic.Theybelievethingswillturnoutwell.Theyfacetheir
fearsandact.Theytaketheshot,makethesalescall,startabusiness,makethe
presentation.Theysurroundthemselveswithpositivepeople.Theyworkwith
mentors.Theymentorothers.Followtheirlead,andyoullbecomeselfconfidenttoo.
Whoaretheselfconfidentpeopleyouknow?Whathaveyoulearnedfromthem?

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Actasifyouexpecttobeacceptedandyouwillbe.Thiswillincreaseyourconfidence
andhelpyoumakeastrongpersonalimpact.

Actingasifisgreatcareeradviceonbuildingyourselfconfidence.Peoplerespondto
whatyoudoandhowyoubehave.So,ifyouactandlookselfconfident,peoplewill
treatyouassomeonewhoisselfconfident.Ifyouactasifyouexpecttobeaccepted
atwork,byacustomerorclient,byagroupyouwanttojoinyouwillbelikelytobe
accepted.Itsallinhowyoucarryandpresentyourself.

Selfconfidentpeoplegreetotherswithafirmhandshake,lookthemintheeye,and
smile.Theyoffertheiropinionsconfidently,andlistenattentivelytowhatothershave
tosay.

DebraBentonisafriendofmine.Chaptertwoinherexcellentbook,Executive
Charisma,iscalledExpectandGiveAcceptancetoMaintainEsteem.Shesays

Asahumanbeingwalkingthisearthyouhavearightbybirthtoexpect
acceptancefromeveryone;andyouhaveanobligationtogiveittoeveryone.
YoucantexpectitforyourselfandnotgiveittoothersIfyoudontexpect
acceptance,youwontgetanyIgnorethoughtssuchasIgotherebyaccident
andIllbefoundout.Imdreadingthedaywhensomeoneisgoingtogetmefor
that.Imclosetobeingfoundout,soIllhideoutwhereIam.Expecting
acceptanceisputtingyourselfonaparwithanyothermemberofthehuman
species.Expectingacceptanceisstubbornlyandjustifiablyholdingabeliefof
simpleselfacceptance.Nooneisaboveyouorbelowyou.Weareallatthe
samelevel.

Itsdifficulttoexpectacceptancewhenyouhavelittleornoconfidence.Ontheother
hand,itseasytoexpectacceptancewhenyouareselfconfident.Thiscanbecomea
positiveornegativeselffulfillingprophecy.Selfconfidentpeopleexpecttobe
accepted.Thereforetheyareandtheirselfconfidencegrows.Peoplewhoarenotself
confidentexpecttonotbeaccepted.Therefore,theyarentandtheirselfconfidenceis
diminished.

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Thekeyistocreateyourownpositiveselffulfillingprophecy.Debrasays

Initiateaconscious,deliberate,persistentattitudeofexpectingacceptance
fromotherhumans,regardlessofwhethertheyearnmoremoney,carryaloftier
title,orappeartohavemorepower,experience,statusandsoonEveryone
knowspeoplewhocanintimidate,overwhelm,rankle,derailoroverlyimpress
Thesepeopledonthavepoweroveryouunlessyougiveittothem.

Thismeansthatyouhavetoconsciouslyworkonbuildingyourselfconfidence.Noone
isgoingtodoitforyou.Beoptimistic.Faceyourfearsandact.Surroundyourselfwith
positivepeople.Findamentorandabsorbhisorherwisdom.Mentorothers.Doallof
thesethings,andyoullbemoreselfconfident,andabletoexpectacceptance.Youllbe
creatingyourownpositiveselffulfillingprophecy.

Heresapersonalstory.Severalyearsago,Iwasworkingforalargecompany.Iwasin
thetraininganddevelopmentdepartmentandwasscheduledtodoatalkforsales
peopleinoneofourdivisions.IwantedtomakesureIdidagoodjob.Icalledthe
DivisionPresidentandVPofSalestoscheduleinformationgatheringinterviews.

Ihadgreatconversationswithbothofthemandtheirinputhelpedmedevelopand
conductadynamiteprogramthatwasthehighlightofthesalesmeeting.TheDivision
Presidentevensentanicenotetomyboss,complimentingmeonthejobIdid.

Mybosscametomewiththenoteandasked,Howdidyougetthegutstocallthe
DivisionPresidenttodothatinterview?MyresponseIcouldntdoagreattalkifI
didntknowexactlywhathewantedandneeded.Reflectingonthismanyyearslater,I
realizethatIexpectedacceptance.Ofcourse,theDivisionPresidentwouldbehappyto
speakwithme.Iwassomeonewhocouldhelphimrunasuccessfulsalesmeeting.I
createdmyownpositiveselffulfillingprophecy.

Sometimesthistakesguts.ButIhavefoundthattherewardisworththerisk.Fearof
rejectionisoneofthebiggesthumanfears.ButIhavefoundthatifyouapproach
peopleconfidently,openlyandhonestly,theyareverylikelytoaccept,notrejectyou.
Todothis,youhavetoconqueryourfearofrejection.Youhavetodosomethinglike
initiateconversation.Youhavetodemonstratethatyouexpecttobeaccepted.When
youdothis,youllfindthatyourfearofrejectionisjustthat

154
 F False

E Expectations

A Appearing

R Real

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
selfconfident.SelfconfidentpeoplefollowthecareeradviceinTweet53inSuccess
Tweets.Actasifyouexpecttobeacceptedandyouwillbe.Thiswillincreaseyour
confidenceandhelpyoumakeastrongpersonalimpact.AsDebraBentonsays,
Expectingacceptanceisputtingyourselfonaparwithanyothermemberofthehuman
species.Expectingacceptanceisstubbornlyandjustifiablyholdingabeliefofsimple
selfacceptance.Nooneisaboveyouorbelowyou.Weareallatthesamelevel.This
isgreatcommonsensecareeradvice.Dontputyourselfaboveorbelowanyone.
Acceptothersastheyare.Expectthatotherswillacceptyou.

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Fakeittillyoumakeit.Appeartobeselfconfidentandotherswilltreatyouasifyou
are.Inturn,thiswillboostyourselfconfidence.

ThispostisacontinuationoftheadviceinthepostonSuccessTweet53.

Theoldsaying,fakeittillyoumakeit,isgreatcareeradvice.Ifyouarenervousabout
beingacceptedinanewjoborworkgroup,byanewclient,byacommunitythatyou
wanttojoinactasifyouareconfidentofbeingaccepted.Think,Ofcourse,Illbe
accepted.ThiswillgiveyoutheseIfconfidencetoactinamannerthatassumes
acceptanceevenifyourefakingitatfirstandpeoplewillbelikelytoacceptyou.

Hereswhatoneofmyfavoritephilosophersandessayists,RalphWaldoEmerson,has
tosayonthissubject

"Thevirtueyouwouldliketohave,assumeitisalreadyyours,appropriateit,
enterintothepartandlivethecharacterjustasthegreatactorisabsorbedin
thepartheplays.

Hesright.Ifyouplayapartlongenough,youbecomethatpart.

DottieWalters,whopassedawayonValentinesDay,2007,isagreatexampleofthis.
Youprobablydontknowwhoshewas,butincertaincirclesprofessionalspeakers
shewasalegend.DottieWalterswasoneofthepioneersofthespeakingbusiness.
Thereisnoaspectofitthatshedidn'ttouchorinfluence.Herbook,SpeakandGrow
Rich,isoneofthealltimebestsellersinourindustry.Shealsoproducedseveralaudio
recordings,books,booklets,andhernewsmagazineforspeakers,SharingIdeas.You
couldevenhearherbeinginterviewedat30,000feet,assheoftenwashighlightedin
theairlinesaudioprograms.DottieWalterswasatrueicon.

However,Imnotwritingaboutherherebecausesheinfluencedthelivesandcareersof
manyprofessionalspeakers,mineincluded.ImwritingaboutDottieWaltershere
becauseshewasoneofthemostoptimisticpeopleIknow.Shetrulybelievedthatshe
wouldbeacceptedinwhatevershedid.Andshebeganbyfakingittillshemadeit.

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In1948,shewasastayathomemotheroftwo.Herhusbandsdrycleaningbusiness
wasonthevergeofcollapseduetoarecession,leavingthemwithlittleincomeand
$5,000indebtasizeablesuminthosedays.Dottiebecameasaleswomanfora
newspaper;firstads,thencirculation.Shefoundedabusiness,HospitalityHostess
Service,kindoflikeWelcomeWagon.Shebuiltitintoafouroffice,285employee
businesswith4,000continuouscontractadvertisingaccounts.

Shebeganreadingeverythingshecouldaboutsales.Shefoundthatallofthebooksshe
wasreadingwerewrittenformen.Shewenttothelibrarytofindsomebooksonsales
thatwerewrittenforwomen.Whensheaskedthelibrarianwherethebookswerefor
womeninsales,shewastold,Therearenowomeninsales,sotherearenobooksfor
them!

Thatnight,inhermind,Dottiesawacopyofabookthathadnotyetbeenwrittenon
thelibraryshelf.ThetitlewasNeverUnderestimatetheSellingPowerofaWoman!She
decidedtowritethatbook.Itwasthefirstbookeverwrittenforwomeninsalesbya
saleswoman.DottieWaltersexpectedthatherbookandherideaswouldbeaccepted
andtheywere.

Tupperwareboughtouttheentirefirstprinting,includingafrontsectionwithaletter
andpictureoftheirPresident.TheybookedDottietospeakattheirbigralliesaround
thecountry.Manyotherdirectsalescompaniesfollowedsuit.

Shewentonfromtheretoproduceaudioprograms,andbecomeoneofthefounding
membersoftheNationalSpeakersAssociation.DottieWaltersbecamealegend
becauseshebelievedinherself.Sheactedasifsheexpectedtobeacceptedandshe
was.AsEmersonsuggests,sheplayedtheroleofasupersaleswomanforsolongthat
sheeventuallybecameasupersaleswoman.Sheassumedthatherbookonwomenin
saleswasnecessaryandwouldsell.Shewasright.DottieWaltersalwayslookedatthe
brightside.Sheassumedshewouldbeacceptedevenwhenshewassellingnewspaper
subscriptionswhilepushingtwochildreninastroller.

InThePowerofPositiveThinking,NormanVincentPealemakesaninterestingpoint
aboutbeingacceptedandliked

Thefactisthatpopularitycanbeattainedbyafewsimple,natural,normaland
easilymasteredtechniques.Practicethemdiligentlyandyouwillbecomeawell

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 likedperson.First,becomeacomfortableperson,onewithwhompeoplecan
associatewithoutasenseofstrain.Acomfortablepersoniseasygoingand
natural.Hehasapleasant,kindly,genialwayabouthim.

Thisisgreatcareeradviceandwhereactingasifyouexpecttobeacceptedcomesin.
Whenyouexpecttobeacceptedyoudontworktoohardatgettingpeopletolikeand
acceptyouyoubecomeacomfortableperson;someonewhoiseasygoingandnatural
withapleasant,kindly,genialway.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplebuild
relationshipseasilybecausetheyareselfconfident.Theyfollowthecareeradvicein
Tweet54inSuccessTweets.Fakeittillyoumakeit.Appeartobeselfconfidentand
otherswilltreatyouasifyouare.Inturn,thiswillboostyourselfconfidence.Norman
VincentPealesuggeststhatthebestwaytoactasifyouexpecttobeacceptedisto
becomeacomfortablepersonsomeoneotherswanttobearound.Hesaysthat
comfortablepeopleareeasygoingandnatural.Iagreewiththiscareeradvice;when
youareeasygoingandnatural,peoplesensethatyouexpectthemtoacceptyou.
Whileotherpeoplesopinionshouldntbetheentirebasisofyourselfconfidence,
feelingacceptedbyothersisalwaysaconfidencebooster.

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Standorsitupstraight.Dontslouch.Yourmotherwasright.Goodpostureis
important.Itmakesyoulookselfconfident.

SeveralyearsagowhenshewasSecretaryofState,MadelineAlbrightdeliveredthe
commencementaddressatWellesleyCollege.Sheconcludedherremarksbysaying,
Congratulations,goodluck,andremembertoalwayssitupstraight.Greatcareer
adviceifyouaskme.

Goodposturenotonlymakesyouappeartobeselfconfident,ithelpsyourself
confidence.Whenyoustandorsitupstraight,otherpeopleseeyouasconfident,
ethical,straightforward,awake,alertandaliveawinner.

IturnedononeofthegamesintherecentNBAFinalsacoupleofweeksago.Itwaslate
inthegame,andtheywereshowingthebenches.Iknewwhowaswinningjustby
lookingattheplayersandcoaches.TheLakerswerewinningthatgame.Theywere
sittingstraightandhadbigsmilesontheirfaces.TheCeltics,ontheotherhand,were
slumpeddownontheirbench.Thecontrastwasstriking.Winnerssitandstandup
straight.

InthepostonSuccessTweet53,ImentionedDebraBentonsbook,ExecutiveCharisma.
Debrahassomethingstosayaboutgoodposturetoo

Goodpostureshowsconfidence,vitality,disciplineandyouthfulness.Slumped
postureimpliesfright,insecurity,lackofselfacceptanceorselfcontrol,lackof
selfdiscipline,aloser,sheepishness,shameandguilt.Tostandtallandstraight
istohaveademeanorthatsays,Iexpectacceptance.

Idontknowaboutyou,butIpreferotherstothinkofmeasconfident,vitaland
disciplined;notafrightened,insecure,shamefulloser.

Debraoffersthefollowingadviceonhowtostandandsittallandstraight

Liftup,suckinandbreathe.Whetheryouresittingorstanding,forgood
posture:1)pullyourselfupbyliftingyourribcageawayfromyourpelvis;2)roll
yourshouldersbackanddown;3)pullyourstomachinatthebellybutton

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 towardyourspine;4)breathe;and5)maintainthepostureandkeepbreathing
DontjustreadtheserecommendationsandthinkItsnotthatimportant,orI
doitfinealready,orIlltryitlater.Stoprightnowandtakeyourselfthrough
thesemovements.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplehave
goodposture.TheyfollowtheadviceinTweet55inSuccessTweets.Standorsitup
straight.Dontslouch.Yourmotherwasright.Goodpostureisimportant.Itmakes
youlookselfconfident.Thisisimportantcareeradvice.Yourvibetellspeoplealot
aboutyou.Whenyouslouch,yougiveoffadefeated,unconfidentvibe.Whenyousit
upandstandupstraight,yougiveoffawinnersvibethatofaconfident,poised
successfulperson.

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Selfconfidencemustcomefromwithin.Outsidereinforcementandstrokescanhelp,
butyouhavetobuildyourownconfidence.

Iamnotconfident,whatdoIneedtodotobecomemoreconfident?Igetaskedthis
questionalot.HereishowIrespond

Selfconfidenceisaninsidejob.Selfconfidentpeopleareoptimistic.Selfconfident
peoplefacetheirfearsandact.Selfconfidentpeoplesurroundthemselveswith
positivepeople.Ifyouwanttobuildyourselfconfidence,focusonbecomingan
optimist,facingyourfearsandsurroundingyourselfwithpositivepeople.Letslookat
eachoftheseinalittlemoredetail.

Optimism

MaxMoresaysoptimismisthefuelofheroes,theenemyofdespair,thecreatorofthe
future.Optimismistheoppositeofpessimism,whichDenisBoylesaysisasmagnetic
asanyblackhole,swallowingonegooddayafteranotheruntiltherearenogooddays
left.Readthatsentenceagain.Itsgreatcareeradviceforbecomingmoreself
confidentavoidtheblackholeofpessimism.

InaveryinterestingarticleintheMarch/April2007editionofAARP,TheMagazine(yes,
Imoldenoughtobeamember),Mr.Boylemakessomegreatpointsaboutoptimism
andpessimism:

Theessentialtruthaboutoptimism:theopportunitiesforitareeverywhere.Theyjust
getignoredPessimismthough,isthedefaultstateofourpsyche,andtheeasyway
out.Wetellourselvesthereisnothingwecandobecauselifesucks,blackholes
abound,MurphysLawrules.Meanwhile,optimismtakeseffort.Despitestonsof
informationprovidedbyzealouspessimists,optimistsbelieveeverythingwillturnout
fine.Theyareabletodosomethingnopessimistcan:theydotheirparttomakesure
tomorrowwillbebetterthantoday.Tosubscribetooptimismmeansthatyouhavea
roleinshapingyourownfuture.Whyisthisimportant?Becauseitshowstuffgets
done.Nosuccessfulindividualcouldconductbusinesswithasetofpessimistic
assumptionsWork,progress,greatideas,allarefueledbyoptimism.

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Iagree.Iamanoptimist.Iadmitthatinthesedaysofhighunemploymentandoilspills
itcanbedifficultbeingoptimistic,butIchoosetoberelentlesslyoptimistic.Ibelieve
everydayisgoingtobeagooddayandsetaboutmakingitso.IbelieveIwillsucceed
ineveryprojectIundertake.Thisoptimismfuelsmyselfconfidence,andmyself
confidencedrivesmyperformance.

TalBenShaharteachesacourseinPositivePsychologyatHarvard.Hehad800students
inhiscourselastyear.Heoffersthefollowingthreetipsforbecomingmoreoptimistic:

1. Giveyourselfpermissiontobehumandontbeatupyourselfaboutmistakes.
2. Expressgratitudeoften.
3. Engageinactivitiesthatgiveyourlifepleasureaswellasmeaning.

Fear

Fearistheenemyofselfconfidence.Itsalsoverynormal.Wereallafraidsometimes.
Usuallyitsafearoffailure.Fearcanbedebilitating,paralyzingusintoinaction.Over
theyears,Ivefoundhowtofaceuptomyfearsandtoconquerthem.Indecision,
procrastinationandinactionfeedfear.Actioncuresit.

Herearemyfoureasystepsfordealingwithfear.

1. Identifyit
2. Admitit
3. Acceptit
4. Takeactiontodealwithit

InthepostonSuccessTweet46,Idiscussedthesefourstepsfordealingwithfearin
detail.Checkitoutifyoumissedit.

PositivePeople

Surroundyourselfwithpositivepeoplepeoplewhoarebothpositivebynature,and
positiveabouttheirsuccessintheirlifeandcareer.Positivepeopleareoptimisticand
asIvediscussedabove,optimismisthefirststepinbuildingselfconfidence.

Positivepeoplehelpyoufeelgoodaboutyourself,becausetheyfeelgoodabout
themselvesandlifeingeneral.Positivepeoplearetherewhenyoubegintodoubt
yourself.Theyhelpyoubuildyourselfesteembecausetheyhaveastrongsenseofself

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esteem.Peoplewithastrongsenseofselfesteemarenotthreatenedbyothers.They
realizethatselfesteemisnotafixedpie.Thereisanunlimitedamountofittogo
around.Therefore,youcanbuildyourselfconfidencejustbybeingaroundupbeat,
positivepeople.

Selfconfidentpeopletakethetimetoidentifyandbuildrelationshipswithmentors.
Wikipediadefinesamentorasatrustedfriend,advisor,counselororteacher;usuallya
moreexperiencedpersonTodaymentorsprovidetheirexpertisetolessexperienced
individualsinordertohelpthemadvancetheircareers,enhancetheireducation,and
buildtheirnetworks.Mentorsarepositivepeoplebydefinition.Youcannotbewilling
tolendyourwisdomandexpertisetoanotherpersonwithoutbeinghopefulaboutthat
personandhisorherfuture.

Ihavehadseveralmentorsovermycareer:BertPhillips,MaggieWatson,DickPelton,
BillRankin,HowardSohn,werealltrustedfriendsandadvisorsatonetimeoranotherin
mycareer.Ibelievethatmentoringissopowerfulthat,asIturn60,Iamworkingwith
threementors.RussellBrunson,StephanieFrank,andNancyMarmolejoarehelpingme
turntheintellectualpropertythatIhavedevelopedoverthepast35yearsintoproducts
thatcanbesoldonline.

Mentorschallengeyoutodobetter.Thatswhytheyaresoimportantinbuildingself
confidence.Astheychallengeyou,theyarealsotellingyouthatyoucandoit.Having
someonewhobelievesinyoulikeamentorisoneofthebestwaysIknowtobuild
selfconfidence.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
selfconfident.TheyunderstandthecareeradviceinTweet56inSuccessTweets.Self
confidencemustcomefromwithin.Outsidereinforcementandstrokescanhelp,but
youhavetobuildyourownconfidence.Youcanbuildyourselfconfidenceby
becominganoptimist,facingyourfearsandactingandsurroundingyourselfwith
positivepeople.Selfconfidenceisaninsidejob.Youhavetocreateityourself.But
onceyoudo,youllfindthatitsanupwardspiral.Yourconfidencewillinspireyouto
takeonchallenges.Yoursuccessindealingwiththesechallengeswillhelpyoubecome
moreconfidentwhichinturn,willallowyoutotakeonandmeetevengreater
challenges.

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Thinkonlyofthebest,workonlyforthebestandexpectonlythebest.Forgetthe
mistakesofthepast.Pressontobetterthings.

ThistweetisacombinationoftwopointsofTheOptimistCreed.Thefirstpartcomes
frompoint5oftheCreed:Thinkonlyofthebest,workonlyforthebestandexpectonly
thebest.

Thisisanimportantpoint.Toomanypeoplesettleformediocrity.Theytakeanits
goodenoughattitude.Goodenoughiscertainlynotthebest.Inmyopinion,itisnot
evengoodenough.

In2001,JimCollinspublishedagreatbook,GoodtoGreat.Theveryfirstwordsin
Chapter1are,Goodistheenemyofgreat.Lateronthefirstpage,hesays,Few
peopleattaingreatlives,ingreatpartbecauseitisjusttooeasytosettleforagood
life.

AndthatswhatthefifthpointofTheOptimistCreedisallabout.Dontjustbegood,be
great.Whynot?Allittakesisalittlemoreeffort.

Heresapersonalexample.Ihavefoundthatbloggingisagreatwaytowriteabook.I
blogeveryday,soIhavealotofmaterial.Lastsummer,Itookmanyofthepostsfrom
thisblogandtiedthemtogetherintoabook.Iwasallsettopublishit,whenoneofthe
peopleIhadaskedtoreaditsaid,Thisisgood,butitcouldbegreat.Itreadstoomuch
likeaseriesofblogposts.Yourvoicedoesntcomethroughwellenough.

Ididntwanttohearthat.Iwantedtogetthebookpublished.Myfirstthoughtwas,
Thisisgoodenough,Idontwanttodoalotofrewriting.Mysecondthoughtwas,I
canwriteagreatbook;whysettleforagoodone?SoIrewrotethebook.Thefirstone
wasntatotalloss.Ipublisheditisanebookcalled,StarPower:CommonSenseIdeas
forCareerandLifeSuccess.Youcangetacopybysendingmeanemail
(Bud@BudBilanich.com)withthewordsStarPowerinthesubjectline.

IrewroteStarPower,andchangedthetitletoStraightTalkforSuccess.Thisbookcame
outinbothhardcoverandpaperbackeditionsinFebruary2008.Itbecamean
Amazon.combestseller.StraightTalkforSuccessisbetterthanStarPower.Itsbetter

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thanStarPowerbecauseItookthetimetorewrite,tomakemyvoicecomethrough.I
thoughtonlyofthebest,workedforthebest,andexpectedonlythebestofmyself.

WhenStraightTalkforSuccesswenttotheprinter,IwasproudofwhatIhadwritten.I
thinkitisgreat.ItisthebestIcoulddo.Inmyheartofhearts,IknewthatStarPower
wasgood,butthatIcoulddobetter.Someonechallengedmetogofromgoodtogreat,
andIhaveinmyopinionatleast.Itwillbeinterestingtoseewhatotherpeoplethink.

However,fornow,IamproudofwhatIhaveaccomplished.IfeelasifIhavebeentrue
tomyselfbynotsettlingforsomethingthatismerelygoodwhenIhadthechancetobe
greatbyputtinginalittlemoretimeandeffort.

ThesecondpartofthetweetcomesfromPoint7oftheCreed:Toforgetthemistakes
ofthepastandpressontothegreaterachievementsofthefuture.

Whathappenstoyou,orthemistakesyouvemade,arentimportant.Howyoureactto
itis.Dontdwellonnegativestufforyourmistakes;usethemasaspringboardtoaction
andcreativity.

Successfulpeopledevelopthehabitoffocusingonthepositiveandputtingthenegative
outoftheirminds.Positivehabitslikethisareanimportantkeytocareersuccess.
Habitsarelikemuscles.Themoreyouusethem,thestrongertheyget.DanRobeyis
theKingofPositiveHabits.HiseBook,ThePowerofPositiveHabits,isoneofmygoto
bookswhenIneedtogivemyselfalittleboost.Youcangetacopyat
www.ThePowerOfPositiveHabits.com.IdiscussedDansideasindetailintheposton
SuccessTweet37.Checkitoutifyoumissedit.

Inherbook,ForgetYourTroubles:EnjoyYourLifeToday,EvelynBrookssuggeststhat
yougetS.M.A.R.T.aboutputtingpastmistakesbehindyou.

S Smashthenegative.
M Maximizethepositive.
A Act.
R Relax.
T Targetyournextaction.

Oneofmyfavoritepieceofcareersuccesscoachadviceis,Stuffhappensasyougo
throughlife;positivestuff,negativestuff,happystuff,sadstuff,frustratingstuff.The
importantthingisnotwhathappens,buthowyoureacttoit.Inotherwords,smash

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yournegativethoughts;replacethemwithpositiveones.Dontdwellonthenegative,
useitasaspringboardtoactionandcreativity.Thiswillhelpyoumaximizethepositive
inyourlife.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplefollow
theadviceinTweet57inSuccessTweets.Thinkonlyofthebest,workonlyforthe
best,andexpectonlythebest.Forgetthemistakesofthepast.Pressontobetter
things.ThisadvicecomesfromTheOptimistCreed.Thefirstpartispoint5:Think
onlyofthebest,workonlyforthebestandexpectonlythebest.Ithinkthefirstfew
wordsinJimCollinsbook,FromGoodtoGreat,sumitupwellGoodistheenemyof
great.Ifyouneverallowyourselftosettleforgoodenoughyouwillbeexpecting
onlythebestfromyourself.Thesecondpartofthecareeradviceinthistweetcomes
frompoint7inTheOptimistCreed:Forgetthemistakesofthepastandpressontothe
greaterachievementsofthefuture.Ifyouwantafree.pdfofTheOptimistCreedthat
youcanframeandhanginyourworkplace,gotohttp://BudBilanich.com/optimist.
Remember,itsnotwhathappenstoyou,buthowyoureacttoit.Dontdwellonthe
negativeorpastmistakes;usethemasaspringboardtoactionandcreativity.Smash
thenegativesinyourlifeandcreatepositivethoughts,habitsandroutines.Usethe
negativesthatcomeyourwayaslearningexperiencesthatwillhelpyoucreatethelife
andcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.Theideaofcreatingpositivehabitslikenot
settlingforgoodenoughisapowerfulpieceofcareeradvicethatwillhelpyou
becomethelifeandcareersuccessyoudeservetobe.

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Beasenthusiasticaboutthesuccessofothersasyouareaboutyourown.Helpall
peoplerecognizethattheyarespecial.

ThistweetcontainsadvicefromtwomorepointsinTheOptimistCreed.Point6says,
Bejustasenthusiasticaboutthesuccessofothersasyouareaboutyourown.Point3
says,Makeallyourfriendsfeelthatthereissomethinginthem.

LetstalkaboutPoint6first...

Allteachersknowthatthebestwaytoreallymasterasubjectistolearntoteachit.I
learnedthisfirsthandwhenIwasteachingintheBusinessSchoolatNortheastern
UniversitywhileIwascompletingmydissertationatHarvard.Tobeaneffective
teacher,youhavetohavecompletemasteryofyoursubject.Youneedtobeableto
presentitinanumberofdifferentwayssothatpeoplewithdifferentwaysofthinking
willbeabletograsptheideasyouarepresenting.

Ihavefoundthatthisistrueforselfconfidenceaswell.Themoreyouhelpothers
developtheirselfconfidence,themoreyourswillgrow.Thisistrueforme.AsIve
workedwithmycareersuccesscoachclients,Ihaveseenthemgrow,developand
flourish.Iamreallyhappywhenmyclientsputmycareeradvicetouseandsucceed.As
theygrowandflourish,myselfconfidencealsogrows.

InyesterdayspostImentionedmybestsellingbook,StraightTalkforSuccess.Igotthe
confidencetowritethisbookfromwatchingmycoachingclientssucceed.AsIwatched
themputtoworkmycareeradvice,IcametobelievethatIwasreallyontosomething
andthatIshouldsharemythoughtswithabroaderaudience.

Inotherwords,bybeingenthusiasticaboutthesuccessofothers,Ibecamemoreself
confidentandenthusiasticaboutthechancesofsuccessofmybooksthatswhyI
wroteSuccessTweetsasafollowontoStraightTalk.

Itskarmic.Iveputoutsomepositiveenergybothmycareeradviceandmy
enthusiasmforotherpeoplessuccess.AndIveseenmycareersuccesscoachclients
benefitfromthisenergy.Asaresult,Ihavebenefitedbybeingabletogathermy

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thoughts,publishthemandhelpmorepeoplecreatethelifeandcareersuccessthey
wantanddeserve.

NowletstalkaboutPoint3ofTheOptimistCreed

Everybodylikestofeelspecial.MaryKayAsh,thefounderofMaryKayCosmetics,said
itreallywell.Everyonehasaninvisiblesignhangingfromtheirnecksaying,Makeme
feelimportant.Neverforgetthismessagewhenworkingwithpeople.Shesright.
Thatsthemainmessagehere.

Idliketotakeitonestepfurther.Isuggestthatyoupromiseyourselftomakeallthe
peopleyoumeetnotjustyourfriendsfeelthatthereissomethingspecialinthem.
Whenyoudothis,twothingswillhappen:1)Youllmaketheirday;2)Youllfeelbetter
aboutyourself.And,feelinggoodaboutyourselfisanimportantpartofselfconfidence.

Letmetellyouastory.Acoupleofyearsago,IwasinNewYorktofacilitateameeting
ataclientsoffice.Themeetingwasscheduledtobeginat7:30.Ialwaysliketoturnup
earlyformeetingsIamfacilitating.

Iarrivedattheclientsofficeabout6:50.Since9/11,theyhaveasecuritycardsystem.
BecauseIdoalotofworkforthem,Ihaveacontractorsecuritycard.WhenIswiped
thecardonTuesday,Iwasdeniedaccess.TheSecurityGuardondutylookedatmycard
andtoldmethatIhavelimitedaccess7:00a.m.to7:00p.m.tothebuildingandthat
Iwouldhavetowait10minutes.

Ididntknowthis.Imusuallynottherethatearly.Itwaswinter.Iwascold.Iwas
tired.Ihadarrivedatmyhotelat12:30a.m.thepreviousnight.Itriedtoconvincethe
guardtoletmeintothebuilding.Hewasunyielding(asheshouldhavebeen).I
expressedmyfrustrationatthissillyrule,andwenttothecoffeeshopnextdoorto
waituntil7:00.

WhenIcamebackat7:02,IapologizedtotheSecurityGuard.Hewasgenuinely
surprised.Hesaidthatsimilarsituationshappenacoupleoftimesaweek,andalotof
peoplegetreallyangryatbeingmadetowait.HetoldmethatIwasactuallyquite
pleasantforsomeonewhowasbeingdeniedaccesstothebuilding.

Andthatsthecommonsensepointhere.Iapologizedtotheguardandtoldhimthathe
wasnotonlyjustdoinghisjob,butthathewasdoingagoodjob.Hewasfirmin

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upholdingthecompanyspolicy,buthediditinaprofessional,nonconfrontational
manner.Thiswassomepositivefeedbackforsomeonewhoisinarolewherepositive
feedbackisntallthatcommon.

Icouldtellthatheappreciatedmycomments.Hefeltalittlebetterabouthimself
becausehedidtherightthingandthatsomeonewhowasfrustratedbyhimdoingthe
rightthingrecognizedandappreciatedthevalueofwhathedid.Hebeganhisdaywith
asmile.

Ontheotherhand,IfeltbetteraboutmyselfbecauseIchosetoapologizeforthelittle
bitofgriefIgavehim,andIdidsomethingsmalltomakehisdayjustalittlebitbrighter.

Selfconfident,optimisticpeoplefeelgoodenoughaboutthemselvestohelpothersfeel
goodaboutthemselves.Thisisapowerfulwaytobuildrelationshipswithothersandto
becomealifeandcareersuccess.Tryit.Lookforwaystohelpeverybodyyoumeetfeel
asifthereissomethingspecialinthem.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Selfconfident,successful
peoplearentthreatenedby,orenviousof,thesuccessofothers.Theyfollowthe
careeradviceinTweet58inSuccessTweets.Beasenthusiasticaboutthesuccessof
othersasyouareaboutyourown.Helpallpeoplerecognizethattheyarespecial.Iam
remindedofaquotefromJackieRobinson,themanwhobrokethecolorbarrierin
majorleaguebaseball,here.I'mnotconcernedwithyourlikingordislikingmeallI
askisthatyourespectmeasahumanbeing.Beingenthusiasticaboutothers
successesandhelpingothersrecognizethattheyarespecialaretwogreatwaysto
respectthemashumanbeings.Nooneofuscansucceedonourown.Weneedthe
helpandsupportofothers.Thebestwaytogainthehelpandsupportofothersisto
helpandsupportothers.Beingenthusiasticnotenviousofotherssuccessisagood
waytostart.

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Givesomuchtimetobuildingyourselfconfidenceandimprovingyourselfthatyou
havenottimetocriticizeothers.

ThistweethasitsrootsinPoint9ofTheOptimistCreed.Givesomuchtimetothe
improvementofyourselfthatyouhavenotimetocriticizeothers.

LikeeverythingelseinTheOptimistCreed,thisisgreatcommonsense.IknowthatI
havealottolearn.TherearemanythingsaboutmeonwhichIcanimprove.Imjust
guessinghere,butIbetthatstrueforyoutoo.ThatswhyIchoosetofocuson
improvingmeratherthancriticizingothers.

Imnotarealreligiousguy,butIdorememberafewBiblestories.Remembertheone
wherepeoplearegatheredtostoneawomanwhoisaccusedofadulteryandJesus
dispersestheangrycrowdbytellingthem,Lethewhohasnotsinnedcastthefirst
stone?IknowIaminnopositiontobecastingstones.Idoubtifyouareeither.None
ofusisperfect.Ifwebothchoosetoputourenergyintobuildingourselfconfidence
andimprovingourselvesnotcriticizingothersfortheirfailingswewillbehappier,
moreconfidentandsuccessful,andtheworldwillbealesscontentiousplace.

IfirstlearnedaboutAbrahamMaslowshierarchyofhumanneedswhenIwasincollege
atPennState.Themodelwasstructuredasapyramidwithselfactualizationatthe
top.Dr.Maslowdefinedselfactualizationasbeingallthatyoucanbesomething
theUSArmyborrowedforitsTVrecruitingcommercialsseveralyearsago.

AccordingtoDr.Maslow,selfactualizationisanunattainablestate,becausenomatter
whatyouachieve,yousoonrealizethatyoucanachieveevenmore.Youcantakethis
oneoftwoways.Youcanseeitasnegativeandfrustratingbecauseyoullneverreach
thegoalofbeingselfactualized.Oryoucanseeitaspositiveandinspiringbecause
youllalwayshaveanotherdreamtochase,anothergoaltoreach.

Ichoosethelatter.Iwastellingsomeonetheotherdaythatthewholeweb2.0
phenomenonhasbeengreatforme,becauseIhavebegunreallylearninglately.Ive
alwayskeptupinmyfield,butIvefeltforthepastfewyearsthatmostofmylearning
wasincremental.Iwasntmakinganyquantumleapsforward.

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However,sinceIvebegunbloggingandtweeting,Ivelearnedalotreallyalot.And,
astheninthpointoftheOptimistCreedpointsout,Ihaventhadthetime,orthe
inclination,tothinkaboutwhatothersaredoing,muchlesscriticizethem.Imbusy
learningandgrowingandthatscoolandfunandexciting.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Ifyouwanttobuildyour
selfconfidence,workonimprovingyourselfandachievingyourgoals.Dontworry
aboutwhatothersaredoing,orcomparingyourselftothem.Betoobusywithyour
owngrowthtoworryaboutanyoneelse.FollowtheadviceinTweet59inSuccess
Tweets.Givesomuchtimebuildingourselfconfidenceandimprovingyourselfthat
youhavenottimetocriticizeothers.Thisisgreatcareeradvice.Criticizingothersisa
wasteofyourprecioustime.Itrobsyouoftheabilitytosetandachieveyourgoalsand
createthelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.Besidesthat,youreprobably
notinthepositiontobecastingstonesanywayIknowImnot.

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Takestockofyourself.Whatareyourstrengths?Whatareyourweaknesses?
Confidentpeopleemphasizetheirstrengths.

Isawagreatquoteonlineawhileback

WhatweareisGodsgifttous.WhatwebecomeisourgifttoGod.

ItwasfromEleanorPowell.IfyoudontknowMs.Powell,shewasawellknowndancer
andactresswhoappearedinmanymusicalsinthe1930sand1940s.Shewasagood
dancer,butanamazingtapdancer.Inherday,shewasknownastheworldsgreatest
tapdancer.

Ilovethequoteitgetsattheheartofselfconfidenceandcommitmenttotaking
personalresponsibilityforyourlife,careerandsuccess.God(ortheuniverse,ifyouare
soinclined)giveseachofuscertaintalentsandabilities.Itisuptoustotakethose
talentsandabilitiesthatwehavebeengivenanddevelopthem,makefulluseofthem.
ThisisourgiftbacktoGod(ortheuniverse).

EleanorPowellwasgiventhegiftofdance.ShebegandancinginVaudevillewhenshe
was11andwasonBroadwaywhenshewas17.Shedevelopedherdancingtalenttoa
veryhighlevel.

Ihavebeengivenseveralgiftstheabilitytowriteclearly,theabilitytosimplifythe
complex,empathyandcommonsense.Iveworkedhardtodevelopthesegifts.Iuse
themtohelpothersgrowanddevelopandtocreatethelifeandcareersuccessthey
wantanddeserve.IbelievethatIoweittomyself,God,andthepeoplewhoreadthe
careeradviceIwrite,andthosewhoavailthemselvesofmycareersuccesscoach
services,tokeeplearning,growinganddevelopingmyskills.

ThatswhyIstartedblogging.ThatswhyIwritebooks.Bothgivemethechancetouse
anddevelopmywritingskills,andmyabilitytosimplifycomplexthings,likecreatinga
successfullifeandcareer.IcreatedmyCareerSuccessGPSSystemforthesame
reasonstocontinuetodevelopmyskillsandtohelpothers.

Whenyoufocusonyourstrengths,youareemphasizingwhatyoudowellnaturally.
Andthisisimportant.WhenIwasyoung,Irealizedthatmystrengthslieinmyabilityto

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thinkandcommunicate.Icouldalwayswriteclearlyandpersuasively.Iwasntsogood
atmathandscience.Foralongtime,Ifocusedonmyweaknessestakingadvanced
placementchemistry,physicsandcalculuscoursesinhighschool.Ididntenjoythese
courses,butIsufferedthroughthemanddidOKgradewisetoo.Ididthisbecausein
thosedays,IwastheProtestantWorkEthicinoverdrive.ThelessIlikedsomething,or
showedanaturaltalentforit,themoreIchosetomasterit.

Whatawaste!IshouldhavebeenspendingmytimeonthethingsIlikedandfor
whichIhaveanaturaltalent.MyfouryearsatPennStatecuredmeofmytendencyto
focusonmyweaknesses.ThatwasthebestthingIgotoutofmytimetheretheidea
thatIshouldfocusonanddevelopmystrengths,thethingsthatcamenaturallytome,
thethingsatwhichIcouldexcelbecauseIenjoyedthemandtheywereeasyforme.

Thatswhatyouneedtodo,too.Focusonyourstrengths.Buildonthem.Thiswillhelp
youbuildyourselfconfidenceandcreatethelifeandcareersuccessthatyouwantand
deserve.Dontignoreyourweaknessesdowhatyoucantoimproveonthem,but
dontmakethemthefocusofyourselfimprovementwork.Mybestcareeradviceon
selfconfidencecanbesummedupinfourwords:Focusonyourstrengths.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesspointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplecommitto
takingpersonalresponsibilityfordevelopingtheirselfconfidence.Theyapplythe
adviceinTweet60inSuccessTweets.Takestockofyourself.Whatareyour
strengths?Whatareyourweaknesses?Confidentpeopleemphasizetheirstrengths.
AsEleanorPowellsaid,WhatweareisGodsgifttous.Whatwebecomeisourgiftto
God.ShetookpersonalresponsibilityforusingherGodgivendancetalenttobecome
theworldsgreatesttapdancer,andbecomeavaudeville,BroadwayandHollywood
star.WhatareyourGodgiventalents?Whathaveyoudonetodevelopthem?Commit
totakingpersonalresponsibilityfordevelopingyourtalents.Itsthebestwaytogive
thanksforthem,tohelpothers,andtocreatethelifeandcareersuccessyouwantand
deserve.

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Createandnurtureyouruniquepersonalbrand.Standandbeknownforsomething.
Makesurethateverythingyoudoisonbrand.

Whatproductscometomindwhenyouthinkofgreatbrands?CocaCola?Levis?The
NewYorkTimes?Apple?ScotchTape?AllofthesecometomymindwhenIhearthe
wordbrand.Peoplecanbebrandstoo:LeBronJames,OprahWinfrey,Martha
Stewart,TigerWoods,areallstrongbrandsalthoughTigersbrandhastakenahitin
recentmonths.Infact,theyareallreadilyrecognizablebytheirfirstnames.

Ifyouwanttocreatethelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve,youneedto
brandyourselftoo.Yourpersonalbranddifferentiatesyoufromeveryoneelseinthe
world.MybrandisTheCommonSenseGuy.Becauseofmybrand,peopleknowthat
theycanrelyonmetoprovidethemwithcommonsenseadvicethatwillhelpthem
reachtheirlifeandcareersuccessgoals.Theyalsoknowthattheywillgetthisadvicein
astraightforward,easytounderstandandapplymanner,becauseafterall,Imjusta
guy.

Youneedtospendtimecraftingyourbrand.Yourbrandisthetwoorthreewordsyou
wantpeopletoassociatewithyou.Decidewhatyouwantthesewordstobe,andthen
goaboutmakingsurethatallofthepeoplewithwhomyoucomeintocontactthinkof
youthatway.

Whenmynamecomesup,Iwantpeopletothinkoftwothingscommonsense,and
guy.IdoeverythingIcantogetpeopletothinkofmethisway.Mywritingissimple,
straightforwardandtothepoint.ThecareeradviceIgivemycareersuccesscoach
clientsisalwaysbasedonideastheycanputtouseimmediatelyneverfilledwithalot
oftheory,eventhoughitisbasedonthelatestlifeandcareersuccessliterature.

Thisisimportant,becausenatureabhorsavacuum.Ifyoudontbrandyourself,others
will.Itsbettertobeincontrolofyourpersonalbrandbycreatingityourself,thanitis
toletotherscreateitforyou.

Heresareallifeexample.Ihaveaverysuccessfulfriend.Heownsahighprofileand
growingadvertisingagency.Wemetwhenwewerebothworkingforaverylarge

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Fortune500company.Myfriendisafunguy,abigsportsfanandverywitty.Somehow
hisfunpersonalitygothimtaggedasimmature.Thisisironicbecauseheisoneofthe
mostmatureandhardworkingpeopleIknow.

Nomatter,hisimmaturebrandcosthimseveralpromotionsatthecompanywherewe
worked.Wheneverhisnamecameupinpromotiondiscussions,thedreaded
immaturetagcameuptoo.Hefinallyhadtoleavethatcompanyandbegin
someplaceanewwherehecouldestablishamorepositivebrand.Itworkedoutwellfor
him,asheisentrepreneurialbynatureandismuchhappierrunninghisowncompany
thanhewouldbeworkinginaverylargecorporation.

Letthisstorybealessontoyou.Ifyoudontbrandyourself,otherswilland
sometimesthebrandwithwhichyourestuckmaynotbethebrandyouwant.Pay
attentionhere.Thisisimportantcareeradvice.

Creatingastrongpersonalbrandissimple,conceptually.Askandanswerthesesimple
questions:HowdoIwantpeopletothinkofme?WhatwordsdoIwanttopeopleto
usetodescribeme?

Thinkaboutthesequestions.Takeyourtime.Dontsettleforthefirstanswer.Workto
comeupwiththeonethattrulydescribeshowyouwanttobrandyourself.Thenand
thisisveryimportantcareeradvicedowhateverittakestomakesurethatother
peoplethinkofyouthatway.Inotherwords,actinamannerthatconsistentlyand
constantlypromotesthebrandyouvechosenforyourself.

Forexample,ifyoudecidethathardworkingisatermwhichyouwouldlikeothersto
associatewithyou,thenworkhard.Doyourassignmentswellandontime.Whenyou
finishonetask,askforanother.Comeearly,staylate.Askquestionstohelpyou
understandthebusiness.Prettysoon,peoplewillbeginthinkingofyouasahard
workersomeonewhodoeseverythingweask,andthenasksformore.Oncethis
happens,youllknowthatyoureonyourwaytocreatingyourownspecialandunique
personalbrandasahardworker.

Theimportantthingistochooseyourbrand,thenconsistentlyandconstantlydothe
thingsthatwillbuildthebrandthatisuniquelyyou.ThatswhyIblog.ThatswhyI
writebooks.Mybooksareshort.Theyarenotfilledwithalotoffluffinmyopinion,
fluffandcommonsensedontworktogether.ThatswhySuccessTweetsiswrittenasa

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seriesoftweetscommonsenseinformation,presentedinadowntoearth,easily
readablemanner.ThatsalsowhyIamwritingthisseriesofblogposts.Commonsense
saysthatsomepeoplewillwantmorethan140charactersonsomeoftheadvicein
SuccessTweets.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
clearontheirpurposeanddirectioninlife;committotakingpersonalresponsibilityfor
theirsuccess;areconfidentandarecompetent.Theabilitytocreatepositivepersonal
impactisthefirstoffourkeycompetenciesthatallsuccessfulpeoplehavemastered.
Developingandnurturingyouruniquepersonalbrandisthefirststepincreating
positivepersonalimpact.FollowthecareeradviceinTweet61inSuccessTweets.
Createandnurtureyouruniquepersonalbrand.Standandbeknownforsomething.
Makesurethateverythingyoudoisonbrand.Therearetwostepstobuildingyour
personalbrand:1)Figureouthowyouwantotherstothinkofyou;2)Consistentlyand
constantlyactinamannerthatwillgetthemtothinkthisway.

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Yourpersonalbrandshouldbeuniquelyyou,butbuiltonintegrity.Integrityisdoing
therightthingwhennooneislooking.

Therearetwocommonsensestepsfordevelopingandnurturingyourpersonalbrand.

Figureouthowyouwantpeopletothinkofyou.
Consistentlyandconstantlyactinamannerthatwillleadthemtothinkofyou
thatway.

Whileyourbrandshouldreflectyouandyouruniqueness,ithastobebuiltonintegrity.

AccordingtoWikipedia,Integrityisconsistencyofactions,values,methods,measures
andprinciples.Integrityandconsistencyareintertwined.Peoplewhoareconsistentin
theiractionsareseenaspeoplewithahighdegreeofintegrity.

Oprahsays,Realintegrityisdoingtherightthing,knowingthatnobodysgoingtoknow
whetheryoudiditornot.Thisistrue.Ifyoupracticesituationalethicsdoingthe
rightthingonlywhenyoureinthepubliceyeyouarentreallyapersonofhigh
integrity,yourejustpretendingtobeone.

Besides,itshardtoactonewayinpublic,andanotherinprivate.Sotobesafe,resolve
toactlikeOprah.Dotherightthingbecauseitstherightthingtodonotbecause
youllgetcredit,oravoidgettingintotrouble.

JohnMaxwellisawellknownbusinessauthor.Oneofhisbookssendsthesame
message.Itscalled,TheresNoSuchThingAsBusinessEthics:TheresOnlyOneRulefor
MakingDecisions.AccordingtoJohn,thatruleistheGoldenRule:Dountoothersas
youwouldhavethemdountoyou.Inotherwords,dotherightthing.

Theresapracticalsidetothistoo.MarkTwainoncesaid,Ifyoutellthetruth,you
donthavetorememberanything.Inotherwords,ifyourealwaysapersonofhigh
integrity,itseasytobeapersonofhighintegrity;therearenocomplicatingfactors
likerememberingwhatyoudidorsaidinagivensituation.

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PoloniusgavesimilaradvicetoHamlet.Tothineownselfbetrue,anditmustfollowas
thedaythenight,thoucanstbefalsetonoman.RoyBlackman,myfatherinlaw,
passedawayafewyearsago.Thisquotewashisepitaph.Itwasontheprogram
handedoutathisfuneral.Royembodieditinhowhelivedhislife.Itwastheonlypiece
ofadvicehegavehisgrandson,Matt,ashewentofftocollege.

Oprah,JohnMaxwell,MarkTwainandShakespeareareallinagreementonone
commonsensepieceofcareeradvice.Ifyouwanttobecomeknownasapersonofhigh
integrityandIbelieveintegrityisthecornerstoneofanypersonalbrandactasa
personofhighintegrityallthetimenotjustwhenitsuitsyou,orwhensomeonemight
notice.

Heresastorytoillustratethispoint.Cathy,mywife,wasaflightattendantfor36years.
Seniorityisaveryimportantthingintheairlineindustry.Itgovernshowyoubidfor
trips,positionsontheairplaneandvacationsalmostanythingimportanttoaflight
attendantsqualityofworklife.

Cathywasveryactiveinherunion.Andsenioritywasoneoftheunionsmostsacred
principles.Afewyearsbeforesheretired,Cathysairlinemadeabigpushintothe
internationalmarket.Internationalflightswereplumassignments;theywenttopeople
withhighseniority.

However,theairlinerealizedthatitwouldbetotheiradvantagetohavesomeflight
attendantswhospokethelanguageofthecountrytowhichtheywereflyingonthese
internationalflights.MostflightattendantsinherairlinespokeEnglishonly.Theairline
proposedputtingtwolanguagespeakersoneachinternationalflight.Manypeople,
includingCathy,wereupsetwiththisarrangementastheyfeltitviolatedtheseniority
concept.

CathyusedtoflyfromtheUStoLondon.OnedayIsaidtoher,Thiswholelanguage
speakerissuedoesntreallyaffectyou.YouflytoLondon;therearenolanguage
speakersonthoseflights.Whydoyoucaresomuch?Shesaid,Ibelieveinthe
conceptofseniority.ItdoesntmatterifImaffectedbylanguagespeakers.Itsthe
principleofthething.Thatsconsistencyandintegrityinaction.

Ontheotherhand,theresTigerWoods.Tigerhadoneofthebestpersonalbrandsin
theworld.Heearnedcloseto$100millionin2009onit.Ifyouwerefollowingthenews
inlate2009andearly2010(howcouldyoumissit?),youknowthattheTigerbrandisin
seriousjeopardybecauseofsomeofhisindiscretionswhichhavecometolight.

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SadlyforTiger,hisintegrityisnowinquestionandthatsbeingkind.Hiswifehasleft
him,takingthekids.Severalsponsorshavedroppedhim.And,hisgolfgameis
suffering.ImnotwritingthisposttopassjudgmentonTigerenoughpeoplehave
donethatalready.Iamwritingithowever,toreinforcemypointofbuildingyour
personalbrandonintegrity.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Creatingpositive
personalimpactisoneofthecompetenciesallsuccessfulpeoplepossess.Youcreate
positivepersonalimpactbydevelopingandnurturingyouruniquepersonalbrand,being
impeccableinyourpresentationofself,andknowingandfollowingthebasicrulesof
etiquette.Yourpersonalbrandshouldbeuniquelyyou,butitshouldbebuilton
integrity.FollowtheadviceinTweet62inSuccessTweets.Yourpersonalbrand
shouldbeuniquelyyou,butbuiltonintegrity.Integrityisdoingtherightthingwhenno
oneislooking.AsTigerWoodsscasedemonstrates,alackofintegritycanleadto
seriousconsequencesforacarefullycraftedbrand.Now,everyoneislookingatTiger
andmostpeopledontlikewhattheyreseeing.SotakealessonfromTigeronehes
learningthehardwaybuildyourpersonalbrandonintegrity.

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Bevisible.Volunteerfortoughjobs.Brandyourselfasapersonwhocananddoes
makesignificantcontributions.

Beingvisibleisagreatwaytocreatepositivepersonalimpact.Volunteeringfortough
jobsisthebestwaytobecomevisible.Toughjobsusuallycomeintwoflavors:1)things
nooneelsewantstodo;and2)tasksinwhichsuccessisnotguaranteed.Volunteering
forbothtypesofjobswillgetyounoticedinapositiveway.Trustmehere.Thisisgood
careeradvice.

Letmegiveyouanexample.Severalyearsago,Iwasworkingforaverylargecompany.
ThiscompanywascommittedtosupportingtheUnitedWay.Everyyear,they
conductedahugecampaignencouragingallemployeestocontribute.Thiswasajobno
onewantedtodo.Whowantstoasktheircoworkersformoney?

Oneyear,IvolunteeredtoruntheheadquartersUnitedWaycampaign.Actually,my
bosssuggestedthatIvolunteer,soIdid.Iranasuccessfulcampaign,bringingina
higherpercentageofdonorsandahigherabsolutedollaramountthantheprevious
year.Itwasalotofpainstaking,detailwork.Ialsohadtomanageagroupofother
volunteerswhowerecanvassingtheirdepartments.

WhatstartedoutassomethingIfeltIhadtodo,turnedintoagreatexperience.Imet
severalseniorexecutivesinthecompany.ImetseveralinfluentialpeopleinNewYork
City.AndIdemonstratedmyabilitytomanagealarge,complexprojectandbringittoa
successfulconclusion.And,IfeltgoodaboutmyselfwhenIvisitedacoupleofthe
agencieswhowerereceivingfundsfrommycompanyscontributions.

Iendedupgettingapromotionasadirectresult.OneoftheexecutivesImetduringthe
campaignlikedwhathesawinme,andofferedmeapositioninhisbusinessunit.I
createdpositivepersonalimpact(withheratleast)bytakingonajobnoonewanted
anddoingagoodjobwithit.

Takingonajobinwhichsuccessisnotguaranteedisalsoagreatwaytocreatepositive
personalimpact.IhaveafriendwhotookonaverydifficultjobwhenhewasaSales

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Manager.HiscompanysCEOhadasonwhowasaslacker.Hehadacoupleofjobs
withthecompanyandhadfailedmiserablyinallofthem.Myfriendwasaskedifhe
wouldfilloneofhisopensalespositionswiththeCEOsson.Severalofhisfriends
advisedhimagainstthistellinghimthatthesonwasnotagoodperformer,andnever
wouldbe.

Myfriendtookonthetask.HewelcomedtheCEOssontohissalesteam.Heworked
withhimextensively.Bythetimehewasfinished,theCEOssonwasagoodperformer
notagreatperformer,butagoodone.Myfriendtookonatoughjob,oneinwhich
successwasfarfromguaranteed,andsucceededinit.

HecreatedsuchpowerfulpositiveimpactwiththeCEOthathiscareersuccessmoved
rapidly.HewentfromDistrictSalesManager,toRegionalSalesManager,toVPofSales,
tothePresidentofhisbusinessunit,inthespaceofsixorsevenyears.Somepeople
saidhewasintherightplaceattherighttime.Whilethatmaybetrue,hetook
advantageofanopportunitythatmanypeopletoldhimtoavoid.

StephenCoveysuggeststhinkingofjobsinoneoffourways.

NotImportant,NotUrgent
NotImportant,Urgent
Important,NotUrgent
Important,Urgent

VolunteeringfortoughjobsthatnooneelsewantstodofallsintotheImportantbut
NotUrgentbucket.ImportantbutNotUrgenttaskswillgiveyouthemostpayback.We
alltendtogettrappedbyurgency.However,nonurgenttasksthatareveryimportant
toyoursuccesscanslipthroughthecracksifyoudontforceyourselftospendtimewith
themeveryday.

Youdonthavetovolunteerforeverytoughjobthatcomesalong.However,bydoing
soonoccasionyouwillbecreatingpositivepersonalimpact.Creatingpositivepersonal
impactisanimportant,butnoturgenttask.Youdonthavetobebuildingyour
reputationeveryday,butifyounevertakeonajobthatwillhelpyoubuildit,youwont
achievethekindoflifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.

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Whileitsimportanttovolunteerfordifficultjobs,itsalsoimportanttodothejobwith
enthusiasm.

Awhileback,IreadanarticleonenthusiasmbyJudyWilliamson,Directorofthe
NapoleonHillWorldLearningCenter,atPurdueUniversityCalumet.

Enthusiasmisapowerfulmotivatorwhenitissincereandheartfelt.Itisaspirit
thatinspiresustomoveforwardpositivelyinadirectionofourownchoosing
Onlytheresultsofenthusiasmcanbeseen,notenthusiasmitself,becauseitis
anabstractconcept.Love,faith,honor,loyalty,andbeautyarealsoabstract
concepts.Theycannotbeperceiveddirectlywiththenakedeye,butcanbeseen
indirectlyintheresultsthattheycausetohappen
Acertaincharismadevelopswithintheenthusiasticperson.Crowdsrespondto
theelectricitythatthispersongenerateswhentheywalkintoaroom,addressa
crowd,deliveraspeech,orjustworkfortheircause.Enthusiasmbecomesa
catalystforchangewhenitissincere.Peoplejumponthebandwagonofan
enthusiasticpersonbecausetheywanttofeeltheenergyforthemselves.
Greatnessdemandsenthusiasm.
Tobeenthusiastic,actenthusiastically.Allowyourselftofeeltheenergyand
lightnessofbeingthatdevelopswhenyouembracethehighervibrationsofyour
spirit.

ThecharismathatJudydescribesiswhatIcallcreatingpositivepersonalimpact.
Whenyoucreatepositivepersonalimpact,youarebuildingyourlifeandcareersuccess,
becauseotherswillnoticeyou,wanttoassociatewithyou,helpyouandfollowyou.

Enthusiasmwillhelpyoucreatepositivepersonalimpact.Peoplerespondto
enthusiasticpeople.Whenyoureenthusiasticaboutwhatyouredoing,youandother
peoplefeelthatyoucanovercomegreatobstacles.Itwillseemasiftheentireuniverse
islininguptohelpyouachievewhateveryouhaveyourheartsetonachieving.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplecreate
positivepersonalimpact.Visibilityisakeytocreatingpositivepersonalimpact.Follow
thecareeradviceinTweet63inSuccessTweets.Bevisible.Volunteerfortoughjobs.
Brandyourselfasapersonwhocananddoesmakesignificantcontributions.Takingon
toughjobsisanimportant,butnoturgenttask.Youdontneedtotakeononeafterthe
other,butyoudoneedtofindplaceswhereyoucanshineandvolunteerforthejob.If

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younevervolunteerfortoughjobsyouwillbelosingtheopportunitytocreatepositive
personalimpact.Whenyouvolunteerfortoughjobs,dothemwithenthusiasm.
Enthusiasmwillhelpyoucreatepositivepersonalimpactandbuildyourcareersuccess
brand.

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Buildyourpersonalbrand.Dowhateverittakestomakesurethatpeoplethinkof
youinthewayyouwantthemto.

AbrahamLincolnoncesaidsomethingthatapplieshere:Dontworrywhenyouarenot
recognized,butstrivetobeworthyofrecognition.Theideaofconstantlystrivingto
beworthyofrecognitioncapturestheessenceofcreatingpositivepersonalimpact.

AsIpointoutinSuccessTweets,Ihavefoundinmycareersuccesscoachworkthat
peoplewhocreatepositivepersonalimpacthavethreethingsincommon:

Peoplewithpositivepersonalimpactdevelopandnurturetheiruniquepersonal
brands.
Peoplewithpositivepersonalimpactareimpeccableintheirpresentationofself.
Peoplewithpositivepersonalimpactknowandfollowthebasicrulesof
etiquette.

Ifyoudevelopandnurtureyouruniquepersonalbrand,presentyourselfwellanduse
thebasicrulesofetiquetteconsistently,youwillbecomerecognizedasapersonwith
positivepersonalimpact.Therearetwokeyshere.First,workconstantlyand
continuallyatcreatingpositivepersonalimpactandonbuildingyourpersonalbrand.
Second,realizethatthiswontcomeovernight.Youhavetoworkatit.Thatstheidea
behindthefirstpartofMr.Lincolnsquotedontworrywhenyouarenot
recognized.

Illusemyselfasanexample.Ihavebeenworkingonmypersonalbrand,TheCommon
SenseGuy,forovertenyears.Yet,Inevermissanopportunitytoreinforceit.My
businesscardsays,BudBilanich,TheCommonSenseGuy.AsImsureyouvenoticed,
Itendtoendmostofmyblogpostsbysayingsomethinglike,Thecommonsensepoint
hereissimpleWhenIspeak,Ialwaysmakesurethatmyaudiencesknowthecareer
adviceIamdispensingisbasedincommonsense.WhenIcompleteonlineforms,I
alwaysenterTheCommonSenseGuyforbothmycompanyandmytitle.

Itsthesamewhenitcomestoattire.WhenIpackforbusinesstrips,Ipullouttwoor
threepairsofdarkcharcoalgrayslacks,ablackorblueblazer,severalwhiteshirtsand
stripedties.IalwayswearwhiteshirtsandstripedtieswhenIvisitmyclients.Often,

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theytellmethatIdontneedtodressupastheyareabusinesscasualoffice.Ialways
replybysaying,IputonmytietodaybecauseIknewIwouldbeseeinganimportant
personyou.ThiscommentalwaysgetsasmileandfromwhatIcantell,peopleare
flatteredbyit.Ithelpsmecreatepositivepersonalimpact.

MywhiteshirtandstripedtielookhasbecomesowellknownamongpeoplewhomI
seeregularly,thattheyaresurprisedwhenIdeviatefromit.Acoupleofmonthsago,I
wasgettingdressedandnoticedafavoritefoulardpatternedtieonmytierack.I
decidedtobealittlewildandcrazyandwearit.Sureenough,oneofmyclientsaskedif
Iwerechangingmylookfromstripedtopatternedties.Thislittlestoryillustratesthe
powerofconsistency.Ihadneverdiscussedmypreferenceforstripedtieswiththis
woman.However,atsomelevel,shenoticedmywhiteshirtandstripedtie
presentation.Itmusthaveregistered,orshewouldnothavementioneditwhenI
deviatedfrommynormaltieselection.

Whatisyourpersonalbrand?Whatdoyoudoeverydaytoreinforceit?Whatelsecan
youdo?Ifyouwanttolearnmoreaboutpersonalbranding,DanSchawbelandWilliam
ArrudaarethetwobestsourcesIknow.CheckoutDanspersonalbrandingblog,and
Williamssite.WilliamwasfeaturedintheAugust2010issueofMoneyMagazine.

Whenitcomestoetiquette,Ihaveonesimplepieceofadvicedowhateverittakesto
makethepeoplearoundyoufeelcomfortable.Ihaveanacquaintancewhoisan
etiquettenut.ShecanquoteyouchapterandversefromEmilyPost.Unfortunately,
sheissocorrectinherbehavior,andherexpectationsofothers,thatdiningwithheris
anunpleasantexperience.Iamprettywellversedindiningetiquette;yetwhenIdine
withthiswomanIspendwaytoomuchtimeworryingaboutthemoreesotericdining
etiquetterules.IspendsomuchtimeworryingabouttherulesthatIneverenjoymy
meal.Thisisprobablymoremyfaultthanhers,butshecontributestoageneralfeeling
ofdiscomfortinthesesituations.

Politepeoplenevercallattentiontosocialfauxpas.Infact,theydojusttheopposite;
theydowhatevertheycantoavoidmakingotherpeoplefeeluncomfortable.Afew
yearsago,myniecegraduatedfromcollege.CathyandIwereatadinnerinherhonor.
Themansittingtomyleftusedmybreadplate.Likealotofguys,hedidntknowthat
hiswaterglasswasontheright,andhisbreadplateontheleft.Isaidnothingand
placedmyrollontheedgeofmyplate.Cathynoticed,andwhisperedthatIshouldbe
usingmybreadplate.Iwhisperedback,IwouldbutJoeisusingitandIdidntwantto
embarrasshim.

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Thecommonsensepointhereissimple.Followthecommonsensecareeradvicein
Tweet64inSuccessTweets.Buildyourpersonalbrand.Dowhateverittakestomake
surethatpeoplethinkofyouinthewayyouwantthemto.HeedAbrahamLincolns
advicestrivetobeworthyofrecognition.Ilovethiscareeradvice.Ifyoustrivetobe
worthyofrecognition,youllbedoingtherightthings.Ifyoustrivemerelytobe
recognized,youmaytakesomeshortcutsanddodamagetoyourpersonalbrand.Be
worthyofbeingrecognizedbydevelopingandnurturingyourpersonalbrand;being
impeccableinyourappearance;andhelpingthepeoplearoundyoutofeelcomfortable
insocialsituations.Ifyoudojustthreethings,youllcreatepowerfulpositivepersonal
impactandbuildasolidpersonalbrand.

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Agoodpersonalbrandhighlightsyouruniqueness.Beunconventional.Breakrules.

Ilovethemovies.IwasreallypleasedwhenIwasaskedtoreviewabookcalledTheBig
Picture:EssentialLessonsfortheMovies.AuthorsKevinCoupeandMichaelSansolodo
agreatjobofdiscussingthelifeandcareersuccessideasinover200movies.Thisisa
verythoughtfulbook.

KevinandMichaelmakesomegreatpointsaboutsuccessthatpopsupinsomeunlikely
movies.Forexample,theyusethemovieBabetomakethepointthatitsimportantto
bedifferentandbreaksomerulesifyouwanttogetrecognizedandsucceed.
Thatsgreatpersonalbrandingandcareeradvice.Creatingandnourishingyourunique
personalbrandisthefirststepincreatingpositivepersonalimpact.

HeressomeofwhatKevinandMichaelhavetosayaboutBabe

Babeisasimplestory,butitcontainsanimportantlesson.Thinkofhowmany
businesseshavestucktothewaythingsalwaysareandcompletelymissedthe
opportunitytobecomesomethingentirelynew,biggerandbetter.

MTVdidntinventvideoorrecords,butpulledthemtogetherinanentirelynew
cablechannel.CBS,incontrast,ownedatelevisionnetworkandarecord
company,butmissedthechance.

Iexperiencedarulebreakingmomenttheotherday.Iwasinalocalbookstorelooking
forabookonfitness.Asyoucanimagine,therewasnoshortage.AsIopenedvarious
bookstocheckthemout,IfoundTambaMbawasbusinesscardineveryoneofthem.I
purchasedabookandtookithome.WhenIgotthere,IwenttoTambaswebsitetosee
whatheisabout.Notsurprisingly,Tambaisapersonaltrainerandfitnesscoach.

Ithoughtthiswasagreatexampleofbreakingtherulesandpersonalbrandbuilding.
TambaspentthetimetogotoalocalBarnesandNobleandplacehiscardineveryone
ofthefitnessbookstheyhaveontheshelf.Hewasgettinghisnameinfrontofavery
targetedaudience:peoplewhopurchasebooksonfitness.Prettycoolideainmybook.
AndonethatisaperfectmanifestationofwhatKevinandMichaelhavetosayabout
breakingtherulestogetrecognizedforyouruniqueness.

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WhenIfirststartedblogging,mydadreadafewofmypostsandsaid,Youregiving
awaysomeofyourbestideas.Youshouldntdothat.Youneedtobesellingyour
advice,notgivingitaway.Atthetime,contentrichblogsrancountertotheruleof
jealouslyguardingyourproprietaryinformation.ItoldmydadthatImhappywhen
peoplereadmyblogandfindideastheycanputtouse.Morepowertothem.Ialso
toldhimthatpeoplewhofindmyideashelpfularemorelikelytolooktomeforcareer
advicewhentheyrunupagainstaproblemtheycantsolveontheirown.Iwas
breakingaruletobuildmybrand.

Interestingly,givingawaysolid,usefulinformationisthenewrule.AskanyInternet
marketerormarketingguru.Theywillalltellyoutobuildarelationshipandestablish
credibilitywithyourtargetaudiencebyprovidingthemwithusefulinformationatno
cost.Funnyhowthingschange.

GeorgeBernardShawismyfavoriteplaywright.Thereisnothingsogoodasawell
performedBernardShawplay.Healsohadsomethingtosayaboutbreakingrules

Allgreattruthsstartoutasblasphemies.

Thereasonablemanadaptshimselftotheworld;theunreasonableonepersists
intryingtoadapttheworldtohimself.Thereforeallprogressdependsonthe
unreasonableman.

Sogoahead,breakafewrules.Bealittleunreasonable.Beunconventional,makeyour
branduniquelyyou.

Onelaststory.TimMcKernanhadoneofthemostuniquepersonalbrandsIhavecome
across.HewasTheBarrelMan.YoumightsaythatTimwasasuperfanoftheDenver
Broncos.For30yearsandinallkindsofweather,heattendedeveryBroncohomegame
wearingnothingbutanorangebarrelwithaBroncoslogoandacowboyhatandboots.

Heworehiscostumeforthefirsttimein1977.Hehada$10betwithhisbrother.He
betthatthecostumewouldgethimonTV.Hewonthatone,andwasonTVeverytime
theBroncoswereforthenext30years.JohnMaddenalwaysmentionedhimwhenhe
wasdoingagameinDenver.

TimsuniquebrandgothiminductedintotheVisaHallofFansattheProFootballHallof
Fame.Hepassedawayin2009.HewasinthestandsforbothoftheBroncosSuper
Bowlvictories.

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YoudonthavetogotothelengthsTimMcKernandidwhenbuildingyourbrand.ButI
encourageyoutothinklikeTim.Beingalittleoutrageous,likewearingonlyabarrelto
footballgamesinDecemberinDenver,canhelpyoustandoutfromthecrowdandget
recognized.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplebuild
personalbrandsthatareunique.Breakingafewrulesisonewayofbuildingaunique
brand.Bybreakingtherules,Idontmeandoingsomethingillegalorunethical.Imean
thinkingoutsideoftheboxandnotbeingconstrainedbyconventionalwisdom.Inthe
movieBabe,Babethepigsucceedsbecausehedoesntactlikeapig.Heisfriendly
andmannerlycharacteristicsnotusuallyassociatedwithpigs.Whatrulesareholding
youbackfrombuildingagreatpersonalbrand?Howcanyoubreakthemto
demonstrateyouruniqueness?FollowthecareeradviceinTweet65inSuccessTweets.
Agoodpersonalbrandhighlightsyouruniqueness.Beunconventional.Breakrules.
Dontdoanythingthatwilllandyouinjail,orgetyoufired.Butthinkoutsidethebox,
findwaystocreateaCherryGarciabrand,notonewhichisplainvanilla.Thinkofnew
waystocombineideas.AniPodafterall,isnothingmorethanaharddrivewithasetof
headphones.FigureouthowyoucanbecometheiPodinyourworkteam.Createa
brandthatshowshowuniqueandfascinatingyoureallyare.

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Nurtureyournetwork.Whatyourfriends,colleaguesandcustomerssayaboutyouis
howotherswillthinkofyourbrand.

Successfulpeoplebuildstrongnetworks.Strongnetworksareagreatwaytodevelop
yourpersonalbrandortowreckit.Heresatruestoryaboutoneofmycareersuccess
coachclients.

Jameswaswithhiscompanyforcloseto30yearsandwasaveryseniorexecutive.He
hadrisenthroughtheranksandwaswellregardedbyalmosteveryonewhoknewhim.
But,acoupleofyearsago,hewasaskedtoresign.

Jamesbecametheprotgofaseniormanagerearlyinhiscareer.Asthemanager
movedup,Jamesmovedupwithhim.ThemanagerhadgreatfaithinJamesbusiness
acumenandhisproblemsolvingability.Wheneveraproblemarose,Jamesmanager
wouldaskhimtolookintoitandfixit.

Jamesenjoyedthesechallenges.Hewassmart,andhadanuncannyabilitytozeroinon
whatwasgoingwrong.Hewasequallyadeptatcomingupwithsolutionstoproblems.

Jamescreatedissuesforhimselfthough.Mostofthetime,theproblemshewasasked
tofixwerenotinhisareaofresponsibility.Theywereproblemsthathispeers,other
peopleathislevelwhoreportedtohisboss,wereexperiencing.Inpleasinghisbossand
solvingproblems,Jamessteppedalloverthetoesofhispeerssometimesnotso
gently.Theycametoresenthimforit.Andthishurthispersonalbrand.

Oneday,hisbossleftthecompany.OneofJamespeerswasappointedtotakehis
place.Threemonthslater,Jameswasaskedtoresign.Hewasaskedtoresignnot
becauseofhisperformance.Insomeways,itwasbecausehewastoocompetent.He
wasaskedtoresignbecausehehadntbuiltstrongrelationshipswithhispeers.Often,
bydoingwhathisbosswanted,healienatedthepeopleclosesttohim.

JamesandIbeganworkingtogether.Mycareeradvicewastobuildhisbrandby
workingonhisinterpersonalskills.IhelpedJamesunderstandthatitwasimportantnot
onlytodoagreatjob,buttodosoinawaythatdidnotalienatethosearoundhim.

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ImhappytosaythatJameslandedajobasPresidentofasmallcompanyinhisindustry.
Westillspeak.Hetellsmethatthesecrettohisnewfoundsuccesscomesfromboth
hiswillingnesstoworkhardandtobuildandmaintainrelationshipswithpeopleatall
levelsofhiscompany.

Jamesstoryillustratesanimportantpointaboutcareersuccess.Successfulpeople
realizethatrelationshipsarethekeytobuildingawinningpersonalbrand.Noonecan
goitaloneandsucceed.Youhavetobuildandnurtureastrongnetworkofcolleagues
andpeers.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoples
personalbrandsidentifythemasbeinginterpersonallycompetent.Interpersonally
competentpeoplebuildandmaintainstrongrelationshipswiththepeoplecloseto
them.Theyalsoresolveconflictinamannerthatenhances,notdetracts,fromthese
relationships.Ifyouwanttobuildabrandthatidentifiesyouasbeinginterpersonally
competent,followthecareeradviceinTweet66inSuccessTweets.Nurtureyour
network.Whatyourfriends,colleaguesandcustomerssayaboutyouishowotherswill
thinkofyourbrand.Putasmucheffortintobuildingstrongrelationshipswithyour
colleaguesasyoudointoproducinggoodresults.Remember,successdependsnotonly
onwhatyoudo,buthowyoudoit.

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Demonstrateselfrespect.Beimpeccableinyourpresentationofselfinpersonand
online.

Successfulpeople,thosewhocreatepositivepersonalimpact,dresswell,anddontpost
stupidthingsonline.Youdonthavetospendafortunetodresswell.Herearemybest
tipsforlookinggoodatwork.

BusinessCasual

Menshouldwearkhakiorlightgrayslacks,anoxfordclothbuttondownshirtandablue
blazer,andcarryajustincasetieintheirbriefcase.Womenshouldwearslacksora
skirt,blouseandjacket.

Ifyoudontknow,erronthesafeside.Menandwomenshouldwearsuits,andmen
shouldwearatie.ItsalwaysOKtoaskaboutacompanysdresscodewhenyouare
arrangingafirstmeeting.

Qualitymatters

Allofyourclothingshouldbeofqualityfabric,cleanandneatlypressed.Shoesshould
beshined.Heelsshouldnotbeworndown.

Grooming

Wearyourhairneatlystyled.Makesureyourbreathisfresh.Keepyourfingernails
trimmedandclean.

Hosiery

Ifwomendontwearhosiery,theyshouldmakesuretheirlegsarewellmaintained.
Theyshouldwearprofessionalshoesintheoffice.Savethestrappysandalsfor
weekendsandgettogetherswithfriends.

HaveanOutfitB

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Itsagoodideatokeepabackupbusinessoutfitinyouroffice.Thiscanhelpwhenyou
haveanunexpectedmeetingcomeuporworseyetifawaiterspillssomethingon
youatabusinesslunch.

HeresanexampleoftheimportanceofOutfitB.Theideareallyhithomewithme.
Severalyearsago,Iwasconductinganoffsiteteambuildingretreat.Wewereina
meetingroomatahotel.Weadjournedtothediningroomforlunch.Thepersonnext
tomeorderfriedmozzarellasticksasanappetizer.Theycamewithasideofmarinara
sauce.Weweresqueezedinprettytight.Whenthewaitercamewiththefried
mozzarella,hewasbalancingthecheeseandmarinarasauceonasmalltray.Myfriend
said,Letmehelpyou,andpickedupthemozzarellasticks.Thatupsetthebalanceof
thetray,andthemarinarasaucespilledalloverme.Iwaswearingapairoflight
coloredkhakislacksandalightpinkbuttondownshirt.Bothwereruined.

Fortunately,Iwasstayingatthehotelwherethemeetingwastakingplaceandwasable
togotomyroomandchange.However,fromthatdayforward,Ialwayskeptachange
ofclothingintheclosetinmyofficeatwork.Ineverneededthem,butIfeltbetter
beingprepared.

AwhilebackIcameacrossagreatarticleonHRGuru.comcalled,WhatProfessionals
ShouldNever(Ever)Wear.Herearetheitemsthattheauthorssuggestedyoushould
notweartowork.Somearefunny.Somearedownrightstupid.Theyallarejustnot
goodcommonsense

Crocs
Uggs
FannyPacks
Scrunchies
SweatshirtsandSweatpants
FootlessLeggingsandSpandex/YogaPants
LeatherPants
FaceTattoos
Velour/JuicyTracksuits

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 MessageTShirts
TooMuchExposedSkin
HeavyornoMakeup
WhatYouWoreYesterday
Sequins
FlipFlopSandals
ExcessiveJewelry
SportsTeamsJerseys
HatsandCaps
LongFingernails
Messy,WrinkledorTornClothing
WalletChain
Glitter
SunglassesIndoors
AllOverAnimalPrint
ShortShorts

Youdthinkthatpeoplewouldhavethecommonsensetoavoidwearingtheseitemsat
work.However,Icanrecallseeingeachofthesefashionfauxpaswiththeexception
ofMikeTysonfacetattoosinplaceswhereIhaveworked.Oneofmyprofessorsat
theHarvardBusinessSchoolusedtowearawalletchain.Helookedlikeabikerinasuit.

Finally,youronlinepresentationofselfisimportanttoo.Mybestcareeradviceisto
Googleyourself.Seewhatcomesup.Ifitssomethingembarrassing,orsomethingyou
wouldntwantyouremployertosee,makesureyouremoveit.Thisholdstrueforyour
FacebookandLinkedInprofiles.Bejustasimpeccableinyouronlinepresentationof
selfasyouareinperson.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplecreate
positivepersonalimpact.Youcancreatepositivepersonalimpactbybeingimpeccable

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inyourpresentationofselfinpersonandonline.FollowthecareeradviceinTweet
67inSuccessTweets.Demonstrateselfrespect.Beimpeccableinyourpresentation
ofselfinpersonandonline.Professionalsshoulddressinaprofessionalmanner.
Yourattireandgroomingareimportantkeystocreatingpositivepersonalimpact.Its
importanttolookgood.Wearqualityclothesandshoesthatareingoodrepair.Keep
yourhairneat.Dressalittlebetterthanyouhaveto.And,lookinthemirroronyour
wayoutthedoor.Askyourself,DoeswhatImwearingtodaydemonstratethatI
respectmyselfandthepeopleIwillmeettoday?Ifyes,getgoingandhaveagreatday.
Ifno,takeafewminutesandchangeintosomethingmoreappropriate.Youllbuilda
professionalbrand.

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Succe ssTweet 68

Bewellgroomedandappropriateforeverysituation.Alwaysdressonelevelupfrom
whatisexpected.Youllstandoutfromthecrowd.

Yourappearancesaysalotaboutyou.Mybestcareeradviceonhowyourattirecan
helpyoucreatepositivepersonalimpactissimplecommonsense.Dressonelevelup.
Inotherwords,dressalittlenicerthanyouhaveto.Forexample,ifyourofficeiscasual,
wearadressorasuiteveryonceinawhile.

IalwaysgetdressedupwhenIammeetingclients.Manyofmyclientsdresscasually.
Whentheytellme,Youdidntneedtowearasuittoday,Isay,YesIdid.Immeeting
withanimportantpersonyou.Showrespectforyourselfandthepeoplearoundyou
bydressingwellandlookinggood.

Accessoriesareanimportantpartofyourappearance.Ingeneral,youwantyour
accessoriestocomplement,notoverpoweryourclothing.Keepthemunderstatedand
elegant.Largeringsandearrings,braceletsthatjangleeverytimeyoumove,can
distractfromyourlookandyourprofessionalism.Savetheblingforeveningsout;tone
itdownatwork.

Payattentiontoyourelectronicaccessories.Acoupleofyearsago,IsawaWallStreet
Journalarticleaboutelectronicaccessories.Itmadesomeinterestingpointsaboutcell
phones,PDAsandotherelectronichelpersallsmallenoughtototearoundwithusall
thetimeandhowtheycanhurtyourimageasaprofessional.Lookaround,youllsee
thatmostseniorexecutivesarentoverburdenedbyelectronicaccessories.Theydont
wearcellphoneearpiecesanddontcliptheirphonesontheirbelts.Keepyour
electronicaccessoriesinyourbriefcaseorpurse,notondisplay.Youwillbeprojectinga
moreprofessionalimage.

InWildlySophisticated,myfriendNicoleWilliamslaysouttenfashioncommandments.
Ithinktheyareinvaluableadviceforcreatingaprofessionallookandhelpingyoudress
onelevelup.

1. Sweatthesmallstuff.Peopledontnecessarilynoticeifyoure
groomed,buttheydefinitelynoticewhenyourenot.

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 2.Restrainyourself.Neverletyouraccessorieswearyou.

3.Knowyourbody.Recognizethateverystyletrendisnotdesignedfor
you.Thisisntalimitationitsjustreality.

4.Blackisyourfriend.Blackstaplespants,skirtsandjacketsare
clean,classicandtheyalwayslookgood.Theyreflattering,willwork
witheverythingelseinyourclosetandwillstretchyourclothingbudget.

5.Focusonyourfeet.Agreatpairofshoescanmakeallthedifferencein
yourlook.Makesureyourfootwearispolishedandclean.Thisis
anotheroneofthosedetailsthatpeoplereallydonotice.

6.Welcomethethreewaymirror.Makesureyourclothesfitwell.
Clothesthatfitwellmakeyoulookmoreprofessionalandhelpyour
confidence.

7.Workit.Styleisreallyasynonymforselfexpression.Youllfeeland
lookbetterwhenyourclothesreflectyourpersonality.Imabigguy.I
lookbetterinconservativeclothing,soIwearBrooksBrothersand
oftengetcomplimentedonmyappearance.

8.Buyquality.Inthelongrun,qualityclotheswillactuallysaveyou
money.

9.Investinaccessories.Yourbagorbriefcaseisaconstantcompanion.
Clients,employersandcolleaguesnoticewhatsonyourarm.Investina
qualitypiecethatreflectsyourstyle.Andinthisageoflaptops,cell
phonesandPDAs,abagthatwillcarryyourhardwareisalifesaver.

10.Relax.Bottomline?Itsjustfashion.Giveityourbestshot;know
thatstylemattersandthatlookinggroomedandprofessionalare
importantforyourcareer.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Followthecareeradvice
inTweet68inSuccessTweets.Bewellgroomedandappropriateforeverysituation.
Alwaysdressonelevelupfromwhatisexpected.Youllstandoutfromthecrowd.
ActasifisoneofmypiecesofcareeradviceIoftenoffermycareersuccesscoach
clients.Onewaytoactasifistodressasifyoureinthepositiontowhichyouaspire.

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Thatmeansdressingatleastonelevelupfromwhatisexpectedofyou.Formen,a
blazerandslackswithaniceshirtandtie,orforwomen,asuitwithasilkblouseand
tastefulaccessorieswillhelpyoucreatethelookofasuccessfulprofessionalsomeone
whoisgoingplaces.

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Succe ssTweet 69

Demonstraterespectforyourselfandothersinyourdress.Peoplewillnoticeand
respondpositivelytoyou.

Howyoudresssaysalotabouthowmuchyourespectyourself,andhowmuchyou
respectotherpeople.Youreadthatright.Yourattireisaboutrespect.Ifyourespect
yourself,youwilldresswellandlookgood.Ifyourespectotherpeople,youwilldress
wellandlookgood.Itsassimpleasthat.

Justthismorning,IsawsomethingonlinefromtheNapoleonHillFoundationthat
applieshere.

Ifyouhaventthewillpowertokeepyourphysicalbodyinrepair,youalsolack
thepowerofwilltomaintainapositivementalattitudeinotherimportant
circumstancesthatcontrolyourlife.

Whilethisquoteisdirectedatyourphysicalcondition,itappliestotheconditionofyour
wardrobeaswell.Youhavetotakethetimetokeepyourclothesingoodrepair.
Clothesthatarecleanandpressed,fitwell,andareingoodrepairshowthatyoucare.

Clothesthatarewrinkled,havespotsfrompreviouswearings,aretootightortoobig
andhavemissingbuttonsorundonehemscharacterizeyouassomeonewhodoesnt
care.Someonewithlittleselfrespect.Someonewithlittlerespectforotherpeople.

Peoplenoticehowyoulook.Itsassimpleasthat.Soputalittlethoughtintogetting
dressedeachday.Makesurethatwhatyouwearreflectstheprofessionalyouare.You
donthavetospendtonsofmoneyonyourwardrobe.Butyoudoneedtomaintainit.
Payattentionhere,thisissolidcareeradvice.

WhenIwasinhighschool,IsawamoviecalledToSir,WithLove.SidneyPoitier
playedateacherinatoughneighborhoodinLondon.Hewasdeterminedtoteachhis
studentslifelessonsinadditiontotheregularcurriculum.

Hehadonlyacoupleofshirtsandties.Buthewashedandironedhisshirtsafterevery
wearing.Helookedgoodintheclassroom.Hedidthisbecauseherespectedhimself
andhisstudents.Hewantedtobeapositiverolemodel.

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Thatmovieisover40yearsold,butSidneyPoitiersdedicationtoprideinpersonal
appearancehasstuckwithmealltheseyearsanditsthemainlessonthatcomesfrom
todayscareersuccesstweet.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplerespect
themselvesandthepeopletheymeet.Yourappearanceisonewaytodemonstrate
selfrespect.Followtheadviceintweet69inSuccessTweets.Demonstraterespectfor
yourselfandothersinyourdress.Peoplewillnoticeandrespondpositivelytoyou.
Takingafewminuteseachdaytomakesurethatyourclothesarecleanandingood
repairshowsthatyoucare.Andwhenyoucare,otherpeoplenoticeandrespond
positivelytoyou.Showingthatyoucareisagreatwaytocreatepositivepersonal
impact.

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SuccessTweet70

Businessisthefirstandmostimportantwordinbusinesscasual.Dresslikeyoure
goingtowork,notasportingeventoraclub.

Isawatweetonlineyesterdaythatsaid

Theimpressionyoumakewhenfirstmeetingsomeoneis7%verbal,28%body
language,and65%visual.

Iretweetedthisbitofinformation.Imnotsureifthenumbersare100%accurate,but
theyareprettymuchalignedwithmypersonalexperience.Thatswhythecareer
adviceinthistweetissoimportant.Whenyouregoingtowork,looklikeyouregoing
towork.

Recently,IcameacrossthewebsiteofacompanycalledPersonalImpactInternational
www.personalimpact.ca.Thequicktipsbuttonontheirwebsiteyieldedsomegreat
informationonhowtodressappropriatelyatwork.Takealook

PersonalImpactQuickTipsfromPersonalImpactInternational

Whenindoubtdressup
Inbusiness,itsbettertobeoverdressedthanunderdressed.

DresstoImpress
ImpressyourbossDressatthesameleveloroneleveldown.Impressyourclient
Dressatthesameleveloronelevelup.

ImpresswithLessforLess
Buyquality,timelessstyles.Thebestyoucanafford.Colorsandstylesthatmixand
matchcreateWardrobeCapsulesthatsaveyoumoney.

PlayitSafeallYearRound
Chooseseasonlessfabrics,suchaslightweightwools,finecottons,andsilks.Natural
fiberslookandfeelmoreexpensive.

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LoveWhatYouBuy
Dontbuyanythingonsaleyouwouldnthavepaidfullpricefor.

ThinkinThrees
Lessisbetterwhenincomestocolor.Wearnomorethanthreecolorsatonceincluding
accessories.Patternscountasonecolor.

PlanAheadforProfessionalPolish
Itsthelittlethingsthatcount.Groomingreallydoesmakeadifference.Youandyour
clothingshouldbeintiptopcondition.

AddaLittlePizzazz
Takeiteasyontheaccessories.Accessoriescancreatethelookthatsaysme.
Accessoriesaretheextrasthatcangiveyouindividualstyle.Butremember,inbusiness
lessismore.

MakeaStatementinShades
Adarkormutedjacketwornwithalightorcontrastingtophighlightstheface,adding
authorityandpresence.

DressDownwithStyle
Evenoncasualdays,beprepared.Keepacoordinatingjackethandyfortheunexpected
meetingwiththebossorclients.

AvoidImageBlunders
Everythinghasitstimeandplace.Sexy,frumpyandsweatyhavenoplaceinthework
placeevenoncasualday.Clothingwornforspecialactivitiesshouldbesavedfor
thoseactivities.

MakeaLittleAdjustment
Makingsmallalterationstothesleeves,hemlineandwaistlineorsimplychangingthe
buttonscanmakeyourclothinglookcustomtailored,andyoulooklikeamillion.

CommonSensePrevails
Ifitdoesntseemquiteright,itprobablyisnt.Commonsenseandtastefulgood
judgmentcancreateimpressionsthathelpyousoartothetop.

Ilikethisadviceiffornootherreasonthanthelastpointcommonsenseprevails.
ThePersonalImpactpeoplearerightifitdoesntseemquiteright,itprobablyisnt.

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Thingshavechangedandaremorecasual.Waybackin1983Ishowedupforworkina
blueblazeranddarkcharcoalslacks,whiteshirtandtie.Mybosscalledmeintohis
officeandtoldmethatablazerisasportcoatandthatIwasatwork,notasporting
event.HesuggestedthatinthefutureIshouldsticktosuitsforwork.

Thatwasthen.Thisisnow.Timeschange,andtheworkplaceismorecasual.Today,a
niceblazerandslackswithatieisconsideredquitedressy.However,thepointremains.
Whenyougotowork,dresstomakeapositiveimpressiononthosearoundyou.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplecreate
positivepersonalimpact.Tocreatepositivepersonalimpact,followthecareeradvicein
Tweet70inSuccessTweets.Businessisthefirstandmostimportantwordinbusiness
casual.Dresslikeyouregoingtowork,notasportingeventoraclub.AsIve
mentioned,whenyouregoingtowork,dresslikeyouregoingtowork.Itsalways
bettertobeoverdressedthanunderdressedatwork.WhenImworkingathome,I
maybedressedinmyexerciseclothing.However,whenIgooutevenforameeting
withaclientIknowwellIshower,shave,combmyhairandputonclothesappropriate
forthemeeting.Alunchorcoffeeappointmentusuallymeansapairofniceslacks,a
blazerandanopencollar,buttondownshirt.Avisittoaclientsofficealwaysmeansa
jacketandtie.Workiswork,funisfun.Dressappropriatelyforeach.

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Succe ssTweet 71

Observesuccessfulpeopleinyourorganization.Whatdotheywear?Dresslikethem
andyouwontgowrong.

Thistweetisprettyselfexplanatory,sothiswillbeabriefpost.Thatdoesntmeanthat
thecareeradviceisntimportantthough.

Ifyourelikemostpeopleandworkforalargecompany,youllnoticethatyoursenior
executivesdresswell.Mostdays,theyllbewearingasuit.Youdonthavetowearsuits
allthetime,butyoushouldfollowtheirexample.

Ingeneral,youllfindthatexecutiveswearclothingthatfitswell,iscleanandingood
repairyoushouldtoo.Hereareafewofmybesttipsfordressinglikeanexecutive.
Theyaregoodcareeradviceforanyonewhoaspirestobecominganexecutive.

Ifyoureaman

Wearnicelytailoredwoolslacksnotkhakis.

Wearlongsleevedcollaredshirtsnotgolfshirts.

Tuckinyourshirt.

Wearatieeverycoupleofdays.

Keepyourshoesshined.Weartasseledloafersorbrogues.

Ifyoureawoman

Wearaconservativehemnomorethantwoinchesabovetheknee.

Makesureyourblousesfit,thattheydontgap.

Wearheelsthatarenomorethantwoincheshigh.

Wearhosethatarefleshcolorordarker.

Makeupshouldbeunderstated.Wearamildfragrance.

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Thereareexceptionstoanyrule.SteveJobs,AppleCEO,comestomind.Hisbusiness
attireseemstoconsistofblackmockturtlenecks,jeansandsneakers.Ifyouworkfor
Appleyoumightbeabletogetawaywiththistypeofattire.

However,youprobablydontworkforApple.Youprobablyworkforalargecompany
wheretheexecutivesdressmoreconservatively.Thatmeansyoushouldfollowtheir
lead.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplecreate
positivepersonalimpact.Yourattirehasalottodowiththepersonalimpactyou
create.FollowtheadviceinTweet71inSuccessTweets.Observesuccessfulpeoplein
yourorganization.Whatdotheywear?Dresslikethemandyouwontgowrong.This
isimportantcareeradvice.Ifyoufollowtheleadofseniorexecutivesandother
successfulpeoplewhenitcomestoyourattire,youllbeastepaheadofthegame.
Sometimesthismeansdressingupmorethanyouwouldlike.But,itwillputyouonthe
roadtothelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.

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Succe ssTweet 72

21stcenturytechnologyhascreatednewetiquetterules.Learnandusethemto
appearpolishedonlineandoff.

Peoplewithpositivepersonalimpactarealwayspolite.Theyknowandunderstandthe
basicrulesofetiquette.But21stcenturytechnologyhascreatednewetiquette
challenges.Hereareafewthoughtsonhowtobecourteouswhileusingyourlatest
gadget.

Nevertextanddrivenever.Ifyouwanttomakeacall,useyourhandsfree
device.Betteryet,waittillyougetwhereyouregoingtomakecellphonecalls.
Whenyouareinapublicplace,likeanairportconcourse,dontstretchyour
laptoppowercordacrossthefloor.Youcancauseaseriousaccident.Finda
placetositwhereyoucanbeclosetothepowersourceevenifitmeanssitting
onthefloorwhileyouchargeyourbattery.
Listentolocalpeopleinyourcar,insteadofrelyingonyourGPSdevice.Itsthe
politethingtodoandyouwillprobablygetwhereyouregoingsooner.
Ifastrangerofferstotakeyourpicture,returnthefavor.Askifheorshehasa
cameraandwouldlikeforyoutotakeaphotoofhimorherandfriends.Ifnot,
askiftheyhaveanemailaddresswhereyoucansendapictureofhimorherthat
youwilltakewithyourcamera.
Usethereplyallbuttononlywheneverybodyontheoriginalemaillistwill
reallywanttohearyourthoughts.Inmostcases,itsbettertoreplytothe
senderonly.
DontwearyourBluetoothearpieceifyouarenotonacall.Atbest,youlooklike
alimodriver.Atworst,youlookfoolish.
Finally,DONOTTYPEEMAILSINALLCAPS.Allcapsindicatethatyouareyelling.
Itisbadformanddoesnothelpyoumakeapositivepersonalimpact.

Computersandairplanespresentotherpotentialetiquettegaffes.Herearemy
thoughtsonairplanecomputeretiquette.

Whenyoureonaplaneandyourneighborisworkingonhisorherlaptop,dont
snoop.Thatspreadsheetisnoneofyourbusiness.
Dontstareatyourneighborsmovie.Ifyoudliketowatchitwithoutsound,ask
first.

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 Ontheotherhand,beneighborly.Ifyouseesomeonestrainingtopeekatyour
movieormusicvideo,invitehimorhertowatch.Youmightmakeanewfriend.
Bringheadphones.Ifyouplantowatchamovieorplayagamewithsound,
spareyourneighborsthenoise.Ifyouforget,askaflightattendantforairline
headphones.
Defendyourself.Bringearplugsornoisecancelingheadphonestoshutout
otherslaptopsounds.
Speakup.Ifyouhaveaproblemwiththesoundorthecontentcomingfrom
yourneighborslaptop,telltheperson.Ifthatdoesntwork,contactaflight
attendant.
Beconsiderate.Leavethepornandgoreflicksathome.

Butcellphonesarethemostabusedelectronicdevices.Herearemythoughtsonwhat
todoandwhatnottodowhenitcomestocreatingpositivepersonalimpactwithyour
cellphone.Youprobablydontknowit,butJulyisNationalCellPhoneCourtesyMonth.

Avoidspeakingloudlyonyourcellphonewhenyouareinapublicplacea
restaurant,airportconcourse,airplane(beforethedoorcloses).Noonewants
orneedstohearyourconversation.Thisisgoodadvicefortworeasons.First,
youwontbedisturbingthepeoplearoundyou.Second,yourbusinesswill
remainprivate.
Askpermissionfirst.Whenyouthinkthatyoumaybereceivinganimportant
call,letothersknowandasktheirpermissiontoleaveyourphoneonandtotake
thecall.
Excuseyourself.Whentheallimportantcallcomes,excuseyourselfandfind
thatsecludedspot.
Turnyourcellphoneoff.Whetheryouareattendingpersonalorprofessional
functions,justturnoffthephone.Youcancheckyourmessageslater.Fewofus
aresoindispensablethatwecannotbeoutofcontactforafewminutesor
hours.
Usethesilentringerorvibratefunctionappropriately.Whenyouareinthe
presenceofothers,itisjustasinconsideratetochecktheincomingcallasitisto
answerit.Ifyourphonevibrates,excuseyourselftocheckthecall,orbetteryet,
checkitlater.Youarereallydiscountingapersontowhomyouarespeakingif
yousuddenlysay,"DoyoumindifIcheckmyphoneandseewhothisis?"You
almostholdyourbreathwaitingtoseewhowillwintheattentionofyour
companion,youorthecaller?

207
 Keepyourvoicedown.Thephonemaylooktiny,butitpicksupsoundperfectly
well.
Behavioristheproblem,notthephones.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplecreate
positivepersonalimpact.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinTweet72inSuccessTweets.
21stcenturytechnologyhascreatednewetiquetterules.Learnandusethemto
appearpolishedonlineandoff.Newelectronicdevicescanhelpyoustayintouch
24/7.Theycanalsoleadyoutobreaksimplerulesofetiquetteandcivility.Useyour
commonsensewhenusingyourelectronicgadgetsespeciallythetextfunctionon
yourcellphone.Nevertextanddrive.Textinganddrivingisdangerous,illegalinmost
states,andanaccidentwaitingtohappen.

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Succe ssTweet 73

Begracious.Knowandfollowthebasicrulesofetiquette.Everybodylikestobe
aroundpoliteandmannerlypeople.

Acoupleofyearsago,IpublishedabookcalledStraightTalkforSuccess.Afewmonths
afteritcameout,IreceivedanemailfromayoungguynamedJimwhosebosshadgiven
himacopyofStraightTalk.Inpart,hereswhatitsaid

Bud:

IreadyourbookStraightTalkforSuccess,excellent.Youareindeedthe
commonsenseguy!Ihavelearnedatonfromreadingthatbookfromhowto
brandmyself,todinneretiquette(glassontheright,breaddishontheleft,
outsideinwithutensils).Trulyfoundyourbookeasytoreadandlovedit

Iam27andfeellikeaspongeforallthisinformation.

Justwantedtothankyouforyourwordsofwisdomandforwritingaboutsome
oftheunwrittenrulesinbusiness.

Thatwasgreat.IalwaysliketoreceivepositivefeedbackonwhatIwrite.However,I
wasgratifiedthatbysendingmeanemail,Jimwasputtingtoworksomeofmyadvice
oncreatingpositivepersonalimpact.Heshowedmethatheisaguywhounderstands
thebasicsofetiquette.

Haveyoueversentanemailtoanauthorthankinghimforwhatheswritten?Didyou
getaresponse?Pleaseleaveacommentsharingyourexperiencepositiveornegative
withus.

Heresapersonalstoryaboutthis.Awhileback,IwasintheNewYorkCityarea.When
ImthereIlistentoQ104.3,theclassicrockstation.MariaMilitowasonasIwasdriving
totheairport.Sheplayedagreatset.WhenIgottotheairport,Iloggedontothe
Q104.3siteandsentheranemailtellingherIenjoyedhershow.Igotaresponsefrom
herinlessthanahalfhour.Everybodylikespositivefeedbacktrustmeonthiscareer
advice.

209
BacktoJimsemailtomesendingathankyounotetosomeonewhohasdone
somethingforyouiscommonsenseandproperetiquette.Sendinganotetoastranger
whosebookyoureadandenjoyedisevenbetter.Bydoingso,Jimbrandedhimself(in
mymindatleast)asaninterpersonallycompetentguy,andsomeonewhoisbusiness
savvy.

Inreality,thereisnodifferencebetweenbusinessetiquetteandsocialetiquette.Well
manneredpeoplealwaysfocusonmakingotherpeoplefeelcomfortableand
appreciatedwhetherinabusinessorsocialsetting.

AsJimpointsoutwhenhementionedbusinessdiningetiquette,therearesomerulesto
follow.Buttherulesonlymakeiteasiertoconcentrateontheconversationinsteadof
worryingaboutmakingasocialgaffe.Mostpeoplewilloverlookminorfauxpasifyou
aretrulygracious.Itisagoodideatobrushupondiningetiquettebeforeimportant
businesslunchesordinnersandinterviews.

SharonHillisafriendandetiquetteconsultant.Sheoncetoldmeastoryofayoung
manwholostasalesjobbecausehedidntknowhowtoproperlyeatafoilwrapped
bakedpotato.Doyouknowhowtoeatafoilwrappedbakedpotatoproperly?Illsend
asignedcopyofStraightTalkforSuccessandSuccessTweetstothefirstpersonwho
respondstothisquestion.

Personally,Ithinkthatthisisasadstoryfortheyoungmanandhispotentialboss.
Notknowingaminorpointofdiningetiquetteshouldntdisqualifyanotherwise
qualifiedcandidatefromajoboffer.Ifthatsthecandidatesonlyflaw,hecanlearnthat
lessononceandbeonhiswaytoasuccessfulcareer.However,inthiscasethehiring
managersawitasadealbreakerandhehadtheultimatesayso.

Whenitcomestoetiquettethereisanoldsaying

Thosewhoknow,know.Thosewhodontknow,dontknow.Thosewhoknow,
alwaysknowthosewhodontknow.

Thinkaboutit.Taketheadviceofthiscareersuccesscoach.Learnandfollowthebasic
rulesofetiquetteespeciallydiningetiquette.Youlllookpolished.Youllpresentwell.
Moreimportant,youwonthavetoworryabouttheruleswhenyoureinasocial
situation.Youllbeabletoconcentrateontheconversationwhichistheimportant
reasonforanybusinessmeal

210
Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplecreate
positivepersonalimpact.Youcancreatepositivepersonalimpactbybecomingknown
asagraciousperson.FollowthecareeradviceinTweet73inSuccessTweets.Be
gracious.Knowandfollowthebasicrulesofetiquette.Everybodylikestobearound
politeandmannerlypeople.Smallthingslikesayingpleaseandthankyou,
smilingatothers,takingasecondtoholdadoorforsomeonewhohasanarmfullof
packages,allowingsomeonetocutinfrontofyouintrafficarethemarksofgracious
people.Astrongpersonalbrandalsohelpscreatepositiveimpact.Ifyoubuildyour
personalbrandongraciousandethicalbehavior,youwillbewellonyourwaytosuccess
inyourlifeandcareer.

211
Succe ssTweet 74

Whensomeonecomplimentsyou,justsayThankyou.Whensomeonecriticizes
you,sayThankyou.Illworkonthat.

Givingfeedbackisadifficultinterpersonalskilltomaster.Receivingfeedbackgraciously
maybeanevenmoredifficulttomaster.Ithinkitallcomesdowntoselfconfidence.

Confidentpeopleacceptpositivefeedbackinthespiritinwhichitwasgiven.Theydont
discountit.Ontheotherhand,confidentpeopleacceptnegativefeedbackforwhatitis
theopinionofoneotherperson.Theylistentowhatisbeingsaid,andthendecide
whatifanythingtheyregoingtodoaboutthefeedback.

Whetheritspositiveornegative,confidentpeoplerespondtofeedbackinagracious
manner.

Ifyourconfidenceorselfesteemisalittlelow,youmighthaveatendencytorespondto
positivefeedbackinappropriately.Whensomeonecomplimentsyou,doyousay
somethinglike,Itwasnothing,orAnybodycouldhavedoneit,orItreallywasnt
thatbigofadeal?Thisisunassertivebehavioranditmarksyouassomeonelackingin
confidence.

Besidesthat,itdiscountsthefeedbackandthepersonwhoisgivingittoyou.When
someonecomplimentsyouonajobwelldoneandyousay,Itwasnothing,youre
questioningtheotherpersonsjudgment.Youmaynotrealizeitbutyouare.Heorshe
tookthetimetocomplimentyou.Theappropriateresponseis,Thankyou.Youmight
wanttoaddsomethinglike,Yourfeedbackmeansalottome.Ivalueyouropinion.

Dontdiscountyourself,youraccomplishment,ortheotherpersonbyminimizingwhat
youaccomplished.Ontheotherhand,dontoverinflatethefeedback.Takeitforwhat
itis:acommentonsomethingyoudidwell.

Negativefeedbackcanbealittlemoredifficulttotake.Youcanfeelattacked
personally.Mybestcareeradviceistonottakenegativefeedbackpersonally.Don
MiguelRuizslittlebook,TheFourAgreements:APracticalGuidetoPersonalFreedom,is

212
afavoriteofmine.Donttakeanythingpersonallyisthesecondofthefour
agreements.

DonMiguelRuizexplainsitthisway

Nothingothersdoisbecauseofyou.Whatotherssayanddoisaprojectionof
theirownreality,theirowndream.Whenyouareimmunetotheopinionsand
actionsofothers,youwontbethevictimofneedlesssuffering.

Thisisgreatadviceforacceptingnegativefeedback.Rememberthatfeedbackisa
projectionoftheotherpersonsreality.Itmaybecorrect.Itmaybeincorrect.Thats
whyIalwaysadvisemycareersuccesscoachclientstorespondtonegativefeedbackby
saying,Thankyou.Illworkonthat.Bysayingthis,youareacknowledgingthe
feedbackandthepersonwhoprovidedit.Youarenotcommittingtodoinganything
specificaboutit.

Youshouldthinkaboutthefeedbackandthendecidewhattodo.Itmaybenothing,or
youmaychoosetomakesomesignificantchangesinyourbehavior.Theimportant
careersuccesscoachpointhereisthatyougettodecidehowyouwilldealwith
feedback.

Herearesomecommonsensecoachpointsonwhattodowhenyourepresentedwith
negativefeedback

Avoidbeingdefensivedonttrytojustifywhatyoudidordidntdo.Listento
understand.Askquestionstomakesureyoucompletelyunderstandwhatthe
otherpersonissaying.

Dontfightacceptthefeedback,evenifitmakesyouangry.Taketimeto
reflect.Youcanalwayshaveanotherconversationifyouthinkthefeedbackwas
inaccurateorunfair.Youllbecalm,andinabetterpositiontomakeyourpoints.

Listenattentivelymakesuretheotherpersonknowsyourepayingattention
byyourbodylanguage,facialexpressionandquestions.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Youcancreatepositive
personalimpactbyrespondingtofeedbackbothpositiveandnegative
appropriately.AsDonMiguelRuizsaysinTheFourAgreements,nevertakeanything

213
personally.FollowthecareeradviceinTweet74inSuccessTweets.Whensomeone
complimentsyou,justsayThankyou.Whensomeonecriticizesyou,sayThankyou.
Illworkonthat.Ifyoufollowthisadvice,youwillbecomeknownassomeonewho
respondstofeedbackgraciously.And,thosekindsofpeoplealwayscreatepositive
personalimpact.Thisisgreatcommonsensecareeradvice.Iurgeyoutoputittowork.

PS:IthinktheFourAgreementsarepowerful.Hereisaquicksynopsisofallfourfrom
Wikiquotes

BeImpeccableWithYourWord.Speakwithintegrity.Sayonlywhatyoumean.
Avoidusingthewordtospeakagainstyourselfortogossipaboutothers.Use
thepowerofyourwordinthedirectionoftruthandlove.

DontTakeAnythingPersonally.Nothingothersdoisbecauseofyou.What
otherssayanddoisaprojectionoftheirownreality,theirowndream.When
youareimmunetotheopinionsandactionsofothers,youwontbethevictimof
needlesssuffering.

DontMakeAssumptions.Findthecouragetoaskquestionsandtoexpress
whatyoureallywant.Communicatewithothersasclearlyasyoucantoavoid
misunderstandings,sadnessanddrama.Withjustthisoneagreement,youcan
completelytransformyourlife.

AlwaysDoYourBest.Yourbestisgoingtochangefrommomenttomoment;it
willbedifferentwhenyouarehealthyasopposedtosick.Underany
circumstance,simplydoyourbestandyouwillavoidselfjudgment,selfabuse
andregret.

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Succe ssTweet 75

Learnandusesimpletablemanners.Goodmannersmakeyoulookpolishedand
poised.

Inarecentpost,Itoldthestoryofayoungmanwholostasalespositionwithavery
prestigiouscompanybecausehedidnotknowtheproperwaytoeatafoilwrapped
bakedpotato.Theproperway,bytheway,istocutintothepotatowiththefoilon,
openthepotato,addcondiments(butter,sourcream,etc.)andeatthepotatowhileitis
stillinthefoil,leavingthefoilandpotatoskinonyourplatewhenyouarefinished.The
youngmanIdescribedremovedthepotatofromthefoil,balledupthefoilandplacedit
onthetable.

AsImentionedinthatpost,Ithinkthatthesalesmanagerwhodecidednottohirehim
wasabitimpulsive.Ifthisyoungmanwasanotherwiseoutstandingcandidate,Imsure
thatoncehewastoldhowtoproperlyeatafoilwrappedbakedpotato,hewouldnot
haverepeatedthemistake.Unfortunately,helostthejobbecauseofthisgaffe.

Ifyouknowbasictablemanners,youwonthavetoworryaboutfauxpaslikethis.And,
youllbecomfortableatthedinnertablebecauseyoullbeabletofocusonthe
conversation,notonworryingabouttherulesofdiningetiquette.

Businessmealsprovideyouwithagreatopportunitytomakeapositivepersonal
impact.Theyalsocanbedisasterswaitingtohappen.Ifyouknowandfollowthesimple
rulesofdiningetiquette,youllbefine.

Hereissomeadviceonmakingthebestoftheopportunitythatbusinessmealsafford
you.First,useyourcommonsense.Theserulesarentallthatcomplicated,andyour
commonsensewilltellyouwhattodo.

Learnbasictablemannersandetiquette.Placesettingscanbeabitofachallenge,
especiallywhentherearealotofpeoplecrammedaroundasmall,roundtable.Ifyou
rememberthatyourwaterglassistoyourright,andyourbreadandbutterplateisto
yourleft,youllbeofftoagoodstart.Ifoneofyourfellowdinersusesyourbreadplate,
dontcomment.Useyourmainplateforyourbread.Inthisway,youwont
inconveniencethepersontoyourright,norembarrassthepersontoyourleft.

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Yoursaladforkisthelittleoneonthefarleft,andyoursoupspoonisthebigoneonthe
farright.Ifyourememberthis,andworkfromtheoutsidein,youllbeunlikelytomake
anycutlerymistakes.SharonHillhascomeupwithacleverwayofrememberingwhere
thingsareonatable:BMW.Movingfromlefttoright,youwillfindyourbreadplate(B),
thenyourmealplate(M)andfinallyyourwater(oranythingwet)(W).

Thereareafewsimplecourtesiesthatcanhelpyougetthroughanybusinessmeal.
Placeyournapkininyourlapassoonasyousitdown.Situpstraight.Keepyourelbows
offthetable.Youcanrestyourwristsonthetable.

Cocktailsandbeerarebeforedinner.Wineaccompaniesdinner.Drinkalcoholin
moderation.

Ifyouchoosenottodrinkwinewithyourmeal,donotturnoveryourwineglass.Simply
saynothankswhenthewaiterispouringforthetable.

Waituntileveryoneatthetablehasbeenservedbeforeyoubegintoeat.Ifone
personsfoodisdelayedandheorshesuggeststhatyoushouldbegineating,feelfree
todoso.Orderthingsthatareeasytoeat.

Orderwithcare.Itsalmostimpossibletoeatpastathatneedstobetwirledandlook
sophisticateddoingit.Orderfoodsthatareeasytoeat.Lobster,snails,shrimpwiththe
tailson,aregoodthingstoavoidwhenyouarebusinessdining.

Breakdontcutyourbreadorroll.Thatswhydiningissometimescalledbreaking
bread.Passthesaltandpeppershakerasapairevenifsomeoneasksforonlyone.
Spoonsoupawayfromyou.Thiswillhelpyouavoidspillingitonyou.Sip,dontslurp
soup.

Whenyouarefinishedeating,placeyourknifeandforkonyourplateat4oclock.Fold
yournapkinandplaceittotheleftofyourplate.Thiswillindicatetotheserverthatyou
arefinishedwithyourmeal.

Thesearesimplerulesthatshouldhelpyougetthroughbusinessmealswithgraceand
aplomb.Onefinalthingtoremember:businessmealsarenotaboutthefood.Thisisso
importantthatIhavedevotedanentireruletoit.Readon.

Today,Idliketotellyouanembarrassingbusinessdiningstoryfrommyyouth

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AsImentionedabove,orderwithcare.About30yearsago,Ihadjustacceptedajobas
theTrainingManagerforadivisionofalargecompany.OurdivisionwaslocatedinNew
Haven,CT,acitywithalargeItalianpopulationandalotofgreatItalianrestaurants.

AboutamonthafterIbeganmyjob,theVPofHumanResourcesforthecorporation
washostingatwodaymeetingofalloftheseniorHRpeopleinthecompanyatour
location.Sincethemeetingwasatourlocation,juniorpeoplelikemewereinvitedtoa
dinnerheldtheeveningofthefirstdayofthemeeting.Iwaslookingforwardtothis
dinner.Itwasanopportunityformetoimpresssomeseniorpeopleinotherdivisions.

Oneofmyjuniorcolleagueswasalocalwoman.Shewasexcitedaboutthechoiceof
therestaurant.Ofcourse,itwasanItalianrestaurant.Shehadbeenthereonspecial
occasionswithherhusband.Shewasveryfondofadishcalledzuppadepesce,a
medleyofseafoodservedoverspaghetti.Acoupleofdaysbeforethemeetingshetold
meaboutthisdishandthatitwasavailablefortwoonlyandaskedifIwouldbewilling
toshareitwithher.Isaid,Sure.

Wearrivedattherestaurant,andsureenough,zuppadepescewasonthemenu.My
friendandIorderedit.Whatadisaster!

First,thewaitersbroughtlobsterbibsforbothofus.Nooneelsehadorderedthisdish,
soweweretheonlyoneswearingourbibs.Whenthefoodarrived,everyonehadadish
ofpasta,orsomegrilledfish,orasteak.Thezuppadepescewasservedonasilvertray
sobigthatthewaitershadtobringasidetableforit.Therewasenoughfishandpasta
tofeedtheentiretable.Myfriendduginandreallyenjoyedherdinner.IfeltlikeIwas
acharacterinTheGodfather.

IspentmytimetryingtocarryonanintelligentconversationwithpeopleIwantedto
impresswhileIwaswearingalobsterbibandworkinghardtomakesurethatIdidnt
spillanyredsauce,orgravyasthewaitercalledit,onmysuit.

IdidntloseanypointsthatnightbutIdidntmakeanyeither.Itwasprettyapparent
tomostpeoplethatIwasthereforthefood,notfortheconversation.

Ilearnedalessonthatday.Alwaysordersomethingthatiseasytoeatandwontcall
attentiontoyouasyoueatit.Itrytobeagoodfriend,andinsocialsituations,Iwill
oftenshareanentrethatisavailablefortwoonlybutIneverdothatinabusiness

217
situation.Becausebusinessdinnersarenotaboutthefood:theyreaboutthe
conversation.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Businessmealsarenot
aboutthefood.Theyreabouttheconversation.Thatmeansyouneedtofollowthe
careeradviceinTweet75inSuccessTweets.Learnandusesimpletablemanners.
Goodmannersmakeyoulookpolishedandpoised.Youwanttolookpolishedand
poisedduringbusinessmeals.Ifyouknowtherules,youllbeabletospendtime
focusingontheconversationnotworryingaboutwhichforktouse.

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Succe ssTweet 76

Alwaysactlikealadyorgentleman.Itsnotoldfashioned;itssmartbusinessand
leadstoasuccessfullifeandcareer.

Lastyear,Ididaseriesofpodcastsoncareerandlifesuccess.LydiaRamseywasoneof
myguests.Lydiaistheauthorofagreatbook,MannersThatSell.Sheisaleading
authorityonbusinessetiquetteandprotocol.Sheworkswithcorporations,nonprofit
andeducationalinstitutions,helpingpeopleavoidthefauxpasthatcanderailacareer.
ShealsowritesaweeklybusinessetiquettecolumnintheSavannahMorningNews.

HereisanexcerptofmyinterviewwithLydia.

Bud:OneofthethingsIdliketodiscussisawordIusealot.Andthatwordis
gentleman.ItellpeoplethatItrytoconductmyselfasagentlemanatalltimes.
WhenIsaythis,Isometimesgetsomeprettyweirdlooks.Imwonderingwhatyour
takeisonthis.Isbeingagentlemanorbeingaladyadatedconcept?

Lydia:Well,insomewaysIthinkthatithasbecomethatway.Wevegottenso
politicallycorrectwiththetermsthatweusethatwevelostsomeimportantwordsin
ourlanguage,likegentlemanandlady.Werejustoverlycautious.Manypeoplein
businessdontnecessarilywanttobereferredtoasgentlemenandladies.Theywantto
bemenandladies.Ontheotherhand,thereareorganizationsliketheRitzCarltonwho
wanteverybodytobereferredto,includingtheirownemployees,asladiesand
gentlemen.Theirmottoisladiesandgentlemenservingladiesandgentlemen.

Bud:Thatsreallyinteresting.Itakeitjustfromwhatyouwriteandyourwholefocus
onetiquettethatbeingagentlemanoraladycanneverbeharmfultoyourcareer.

Lydia:Right,youcanneverbetoonice.Andyoucanneverbetoocourteousand
respectfulofotherpeople.Thatsreallywhatetiquetteisaboutandwhatmannersare
about.

Bud:Iagree.Sowhyaremannersandetiquettesoimportantforsuccess?

Lydia:Well,Iliketothinkaboutetiquetteandmannersasnotnecessarilyaboutthe
rules,butabouttherelationshipsthatwehavewithpeopleandthewaythatwetreat

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people.Andallofthis,asyouknow,isreallybuiltonrelationshipsrelationshipswith
yourclients,withyourcustomers,withyourcoworkers.Treatingpeoplewellandwith
courtesyandrespectisawaytobuildthoserelationshipsandtomaintainthem.

Bud:Thatsinteresting.Tellmealittlebitmoreaboutthisnotrules,but
relationships.IminterestedbecauseIthinkalotofpeoplefeeltheyneedtopullout
theirAmyVanderbiltorEmilyPostbookandmakesurethattheydothingsexactly
correct.WhatImhearingyousayisthatsnotasimportantasthewayyoutreatother
people.

Lydia:Thatsright.Ifyourmindsetisreallyaboutbeingcourteoustootherpeopleand
justbasicallybeingnicetootherpeoplethenyouregoingtobeexhibitinggood
manners.Thatsreallywhatitsabout.Itsnotaboutawholesetofrulesthat
somebodycameupwiththatweredesignedtomakeusallalittlecrazyorparanoidor
whatever.Butitsreallyaboutknowingwhattodoincertaincases.Obviouslyyouwant
todotherightthing.Butyouwillbedoingtherightthingifyourethinkingaboutthe
otherpersonscomfortandtheotherpersonsease.

Bud:Sotherealkeythingistothinkabouttheotherperson,putyourselfintheirplace,
trytomakethemfeelcomfortableandyourelikelytonotgotoofarwrongfroman
etiquetteoramannerspoint.

Lydia:Thatsright.

IlikeLydiaRamseyscommonsenseapproachtoetiquette:

Thinkaboutotherpeople,
Putyourselfintheirplace,
Trytomakethemfeelcomfortable.

Ifyoudothis,youwontgowrongfromanetiquetteormannersstandpoint.What
couldbeeasierormorecommonsense?Inotherwords,mostetiquettecomesdownto
behavinglikealadyorgentlemanthepointImakeinSuccessTweet76.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Etiquetteisamatterof
commonsense.LydiaRamsey,aleadingetiquetteconsultant,saysitsassimpleasone,
two,three:1)Thinkaboutotherpeople;2)Putyourselfintheirplace;3)Dowhatever
youcantomakethemfeelcomfortable.FollowthecareeradviceinTweet76inSuccess
Tweets.Alwaysactlikealadyorgentleman.Itsnotoldfashioned;itssmartbusiness

220
andleadstoasuccessfullifeandcareer.Ladiesandgentlemenaregracious.They
dontworryabouttherules.Theyworryaboutmakingotherpeoplefeelcomfortable
andaccepted.

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SuccessTweet77

Keepyourbreathfresh.Brushaftermealsandcoffee.Usethestrips.Dontchew
gum.Ever.Itmakesyoulooklikeacow.

IamalwayssurprisedwhenImeetanotherwisewellgroomedpersonwhohasbad
breath.Usually,thesepeopleareunawareoftheproblem.Iwasinthemalltheother
daygettingfittedforapairofnewglasses.Thewomanhelpingmehadbreaththat
smelledlikestalecoffee.Itwasntverypleasant.Imsureshewasunawareofit.I
didntknowher,soIsaidnothing.

AcoupleofmonthsagoIwasgettingahaircut.Mystylisthadbeeneatingsomekindof
snackfoodthathadalotofgarlic.Hisbreathwasoverpowering.Iknowhimreasonably
well,soIwascomfortabletellinghimthatthesnackfoodhehadeatenreallycaused
badbreath.Hethankedme,andpoppedapieceofgumintohismouthtomaskthe
smell.

Thathelped,butthenhebegansmackinghisgumnotveryattractivetowatchinthe
mirror,nortolistento.Ilikegum.ButthankstoCathy,Ivebrokenthehabitofchewing
it.Itsdifficulttochewgumandnotsmackitorlookvapid.Ihavelimitedmygum
chewingtowhenImridingmybikeorexercising.Eventhen,Ikeepmymouthclosed
andavoidsmackingit.

Peopleoftenchewgumonairplanestohelptheirearsadjusttothechangesincabin
pressure.Whilechewinggumcanhelpyourears,itdoeslittleforyourimageasa
professional.Mybestcareeradviceistonotchewgumever.Therearebetterwaysto
controlbadbreath.

Manyotherwisewellgroomedpeopleforgetabouttheirbreath.Freshbreathisthe
markofawellgroomedperson.Brushingafterlunchisthebestwaytokeepyour
breathfresh.However,ifyoudontwanttobringatoothbrushtowork,thebreath
stripsdoaprettygoodjobofkeepingyourbreathfresh.Usethemaftercoffee,and
aftereatingespeciallywhenyoueatfoodseasonedwithgarlic,oraftersushi.Cathy
alwaysremindsmewhenIhavewasabibreath.

222
Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Itsthelittlethingsthat
markyouasawellgroomedperson.Toomanypeopledontpayenoughattentionto
theirbreath.Badbreathisnotpleasant.FollowtheadviceinTweet77inSuccess
Tweets.Keepyourbreathfresh.Brushaftermealsandcoffee.Usethestrips.Dont
chewgum.Ever.Itmakesyoulooklikeacow.Brushingcanbeinconvenient,soI
recommendthebreathstrips.Ialwaysencouragemycareersuccesscoachclientsto
avoidgum.Itcansweetenyourbreath,butitalsomakesyoulookunsophisticated.

223
Succe ssTweet 78

Saythankyouoften.Youllsucceed,buildastrongpersonalbrandandbuilda
legacyofbeinganiceperson.

ZachBusseyisaTwitterfriendofmine.HelivesinTorontoandIliveinDenver.Isnt
theInternetagreatthing?Zachreallyunderstandssocialmedia.Youshouldcheckout
hissite.Theotherday,ZachandIexchangedafewtweetsontheimportanceofsaying
thankyou.HeresoneofthetweetsZachsentme

Thewordthanksisusedlessandless.Itsunfortunate,becauseitsthekindof
wordthatcanchangesomeonesday.

Iagree.Asincerethankyoualwaysmakesmyday.Ireallyappreciatethepeoplewho
takethetimetothankmefortheseblogpostsandmydailysuccessquotes.Myday
getsalittlebrightereverytimesomeonethanksme.

ThatswhyIendeveryoneofmyblogpostswithsomethinglike,thanksforreading.I
reallyappreciatethetimeyoutaketoreadmyblog.ThankingyouistheleastIcando
toshowthisappreciation.FromtimetotimeIofferthingsforfreeheretoshowmy
thanks.Today,Idliketothankyoubysendingtwoinspirationalmoviesyourway.

CheckoutAcresofDiamondsat
http://www.lifesecretsonline.com/movie/?t=TCSG&m=AcresofDiamonds.

AndyoumightlikeCarrots,EggsandCoffee.
http://www.lifesecretsonline.com/movie/?t=TCSG&m=CarrotsEggsCoffee.

Awhileback,IdidablogpostwhereIfeaturedJeffHajeksbook,WhaddyaMeanI
GottaBeLean?Ilikethisbook.And,asIpointedoutinthepost,Jeffprovidessome
greatcareeradviceinabookthatatfirstglancedoesntseemtohavemuchtodowith
careersuccess.

Jeffsentmeanemailthedayafterthepostran,thankingmeformyfavorable
commentsabouthisbook.Ithoughtthatwasgreatandformeitwasenough.
However,acoupleofdayslater,IreceivedahandwrittennoteinmysnailmailfromJeff.
Itread

224
Bud,

IappreciateyoutakingtimeoutofyourbusyscheduletoreviewWhaddyaMeanon
yourblog.Iamcognizantofthefactthatyouhavegoneoutofyourwaytohelpme,so
ifthereisanythingIcaneverdotoreturnthefavor,pleasedonthesitatetoask.

Bestwishes,

Jeff

Handwrittennotesarenotverycommonthesedays.IwastouchedthatJefftookthe
timetowriteoneandsendittome.Bysendingit,hereallystrengthenedhis
relationshipwithme.Thenexttimeheasksformyhelp,Iamverylikelytogiveitto
him.Also,heofferedhishelptome.IfeelthatIcangotohimifIneedassistanceinhis
areaofexpertise.Jeffusedasimpletechniqueahandwrittennotetobuildhis
relationshipwithme.

MyposthelpedJeffanyexposurehelps.ButIreviewedhisbookbecauseIthoughtit
wouldbeusefultoreadersofthisblog.Myintentwastoprovidereadersofthisblog
withusefulinformation.Somyreviewwasawin/win/winGoodforyou,goodforJeff,
andgoodformebecauseIammeetingoneofmygoalshelpingotherscreatethelife
andcareersuccessthattheywantanddeserve.Allofusbenefited.

Jeffpurchasedathankyoucardforhisnotetome.Thatwasgreat,butIhaveaneven
betteridea.Ihaveinvestedinasetofnotecardswithmynameprintedatthetopand
myreturnaddressonthebackflapoftheenvelope.Isuggestthatyoudothesame
youllfindyourselfwritingmorethankyounoteswhenyouhaveacardhandy.

OneofthecompanieswhereIdoalotofconsultingandcoachingworkhaspickedupon
thisidea.Theyhaveplacedblankthankyounoteswithoneoftheircorevaluesonthe
frontofthecardatconvenientlocationsintheiroffices.Theirintentistoget
employeestothankoneanotherforgoodwork.Anditworked.Peoplearesending
moreofthesehandwrittennotestotheircolleagues,strengtheningrelationshipswithin
thecompany.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
interpersonallycompetent.Interpersonallycompetentpeoplearegoodatbuilding
relationships.Thankingpeoplewhentheyhelpyouisagreatwaytobuildrelationships.
FollowthecareeradviceinSuccessTweet78.Saythankyouoften.Youllsucceed,

225
buildastrongpersonalbrandandbuildalegacyofbeinganiceperson.Besides
thankingpeopleinperson,handwrittennotesareagreatwayofsayingthankyou.
Handwrittenthankyounotesestablishyouassomeonewhocaresaboutotherpeople
andiswillingtogoalittleoutofyourwaytobuildrelationshipsthehallmarkof
interpersonallycompetentpeople.

226
Succe ssTweet 79

Becourteous.Itcostsyounothinganditcanmeaneverythingtosomeoneelse.It
alsohelpsingettingwhatyouwant.

Awhileback,IwasinNewYorkCityandhaddinnerwithGarySteele,aclosefriend.
Garyisaninterestingguy.Hehadplentyofopportunitiestoplaymajorcollegefootball,
buthechoseserviceandenrolledattheUnitedStatesMilitaryAcademy.Heretired
after23yearsintheUSArmyasafullColonel.

HealsoplayedfootballwhenhewasatWestPoint.Asitsohappens,40yearsago,he
playedagameatPennStatewhenIwasstudentthere.Isawhimplaythatday.Whata
dayitwas.PennStatewastheNumber2teaminthecountrythatyear.Garyandhis
matesalmostbeatus.Ittookaflukeplayattheendofthegametoclinchthewinfor
PennState.Bytheway,Garycaughteightpassesfor156yardsthatday.

Overdinner,GaryandIweretalkingabouttheimportanceoftreatingallpeoplewith
thedignityandrespecttheydeserveasfellowhumanbeings.Thatswhat
interpersonallycompetentpeopledo.Laterthatevening,Garysentmeanexcerptfrom
an1879addressmadebytheWestPointCommandant,JohnMcAllisterSchofield,tothe
corpsofcadets.Inpartitreadsasfollows

Thedisciplinewhichmakesthecolleaguesofastrongorganizationeffectivein
operationsisnottobegainedbyharshortyrannicaltreatment.Onthecontrary,
suchtreatmentisfarmorelikelytodestroythantomakeastrongorganization.
Itispossibletoimpartguidanceandtogivedirectionsinsuchamannerandsuch
atoneofvoicetoinspireinacolleaguethefeelingofanintensedesiretoobey,
whiletheoppositemannerandtoneofvoicecannotfailtoexcitestrong
resentmentsandadesiretodisobey.Theonemodeorotherofdealingwith
colleaguesspringsfromthecorrespondingspiritinthebreastoftheleader.He
whofeelstherespectwhichisduetootherscannotfailtoinspireinthemregard
forhimself,whilehewhofeels,andhencemanifests,disrespecttowardsothers,
especiallyhissubordinates,cannotfailtoinspirehatredagainsthimself.

GeneralSchofieldswordsworkforanyone,notjustleaders.Ilovetheline,Hewho
feelstherespectwhichisduetootherscannotfailtoinspireinthemregardfor

227
himself.Thatsaysitall.Respectothersandtheywillrespectyou.Strongrelationships
arebasedonrespectandtrust.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Followthecareeradvice
inSuccessTweet79.Becourteous.Itcostsyounothing,anditcanmeaneverythingto
someoneelse.Italsohelpsingettingwhatyouwant.Interpersonalcompetenceisan
importantkeytocareerandlifesuccess.Theabilitytobuildstrongrelationshipsisakey
tobecominginterpersonallycompetent.Ifyouwanttobuildstrongrelationshipswith
theimportantpeopleinyourlife,becourteousandrespectthem.Yourcourtesyand
respectwillpaybigdividends.AsGeneralSchofieldpointedoutwaybackin1879,when
yourespectothersyoucannotfailtoinspirehighregardforyouinthem.

228
Succe ssTweet 80

Learnandusethebasicrulesofetiquette.Socialfauxpasmightnotruinyourcareer,
buttheycertainlywonthelpit.

AllthatstuffyourMomtoldyouaboutbeingpoliteistrueandgreatcareeradvice.You
cannevergowrongbybeingpoliteandactinglikealadyorgentleman.Itrytoactasa
gentlemanatalltimes.Politepeoplearemannerly.Wellinformedpeopleknowand
followthebasicrulesofetiquette.Itooksometimetolearntherules.Whilebeing
politetrumpstherules,knowingwhattodoinanysocialsituationalwayshelpsyou
createpositivepersonalimpact.

MyfriendSharonHill,authorofTheWildWomansGuidetoEtiquette,makesagreat
pointaboutthedifferencebetweenmannersandetiquette.Sharonsaysthatmanners
areaboutkindnessandcaringaboutotherpeople.Etiquetteisprotocol,rulesof
behaviorthatyouneedtolearnanduse.Mannerscomefromyourheart;etiquette
comesfromyourhead.Ladiesandgentlemenarebothwellmanneredandfollowthe
rulesofetiquette.

Ifyouknowandfollowthebasicrulesofetiquette,youwontlookfoolishinsocial
situations.Youwillbeadmiredfordemonstratingclassandconfidence.Proper
etiquettecanhelpyougetaheadinbusinessbecauseyouwillcreateapositive
impression.Sometimes,youwontevenknowthatpeoplearewatching,butbelieve
me,someoneusuallyis.

Ontheotherhand,mannersdistinguishyouasacaringperson,someonewhovalues
everyhumanbeing.Iwroteaboutthisinyesterdayspost.Wellmanneredpeopletreat
everypersontheymeetwithakindnessthatreinforcestheselfworthoftheother
person.Youcanknowandfollowalltherules,butstillnotbewellmannered.WhileI
thinkitsimportanttoknowandfollowtherules,ifIhadtochoosebetweenmanners
andetiquette,mannerswouldwineverytime.

Handwrittenthankyounotesareagreatwaytodistinguishyourselfasaladyor
gentleman.Theydemonstratebothgoodmannersandproperetiquette.Hereare
threetipsforwritinggreatthankyounotes:1)Writelegibly;2)Alwaysidentifythegift
youreceivedbespecific.Yournotewillbemorepersonalthisway;3)Alwaysmention

229
howyouplanonusingthegift.Youcancreateallsortsofpositivepersonalimpactwith
thankyounotes.

ThesedaystherearecompanieswhowilldowhatIcallfauxhandwrittennotes.They
takeasampleofyourhandwritingandthenuseittocreatemessagesthattheywillsend
onyourbehalf.Inmyopinion,thesecardsarebetterthananemail,buttheystilldont
substituteforahandwrittennote.Tworeasons:first,youstillhavetocomposethe
messageandemailittothevendor;andsecond,whilethesecardslookprettygood,
theystilldonthavetheintenselypersonalfeelofanotewrittenbyhand.

Aswithmostthings,thereisoneruleofetiquettethatIalwaysfollow.Ialwaysdo
whateverIcantohelpthepeoplearoundmefeelcomfortable.IdothisbecauseIwant
tobeandbethoughtofasagentleman.

Forexample,whenyouarediningwithothers,youmayknowthatyourwaterglassison
therightandthatyourbreadandbutterplateisontheleft.Otherpeoplemaynot
knowthis.Soifsomeoneusesyourbreadplate,dontsayHey,thatsmineyoursis
overthere.Justplaceyourrollonyourdinnerplate.Beingrightisnoexcusefor
embarrassingsomeoneelse.

Remember,friendscanhelptakeyouwhereyouwanttogo.Etiquetteandmannerswill
helpyoumakethosefriendsandcreatethelifeandcareersuccessyouwantand
deserve.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
comfortableinallsituations.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinSuccessTweet80.Learn
andusethebasicrulesofetiquette.Socialfauxpasmightnotruinyourcareer,butthey
certainlywonthelpit.Whilebeingkindandvaluingothersismoreimportantthan
knowingandapplyingtherules,knowingandusingtheruleswillmarkyouassomeone
intheknowsomeonewhoisanupandcomer.Takethetimetolearntherules.In
thatway,youllbeabletousethemwithoutthinkingaboutthem.Whenthishappens,
youllbebetterabletofocusontheconversationandthepeoplearoundyou.

230
Succe ssTweet 81

Becomealifelonglearner.Thehalflifeofknowledgeisrapidlydiminishing.Stayingin
thesameplaceisthesameasgoingbackward.

Competenceisoneofthefourkeystocareerandlifesuccess.IdiscussitinSuccess
Tweetsandseveralothersofmybooks:StraightTalkforSuccess;YourSuccessGPS;42
RulestoJumpstartYourProfessionalSuccess.Ifyouwanttosucceed,youneedto
developfourbasic,butimportantcompetencies:1)creatingpositivepersonalimpact;2)
becomingaconsistentlyhighperformer;3)dynamiccommunicationskills;and4)
becominginterpersonallycompetent.Tweets81100focusonhowtobecomean
outstandingperformer.

Ifyouwanttobecomeanoutstandingperformer,youneedtobecomealifelong
learner.Theotherday,IcameacrossagreatquotefromLouisLAmour,thegreat
Americanwriterofstoriesabouttheoldwest.Ithinkthisquotecapturestheessenceof
lifelonglearning

Therewillcomeatimewhenyoubelieveeverythingisfinished.Thatwillbethe
beginning.

Iknowalotaboutcareerandlifesuccess.Ivewrittenseveralbooksonit.Igivelotsof
talksaboutit.Ivecoachedhundredsofpeoplehelpingthembuildthelifeandcareer
successtheywantanddeserve.Iwritethisblog.Atonepoint,IthoughtIknewitall.

Andyouknowwhat?EverytimeIwriteaboutlifeandcareersuccess,everytimeIspeak
aboutit,everytimeIcoachsomeoneofferingmycareeradvice,Igainadeeper
understandingofwhatittakestocreatelifeandcareersuccess

Ibeginaneweveryday,doingwhateverIcantolearnaboutlifeandcareersuccesssoI
canpassonthisknowledgeandwisdomtoothers.Ichoosetokeeplearning.Soshould
you.Payattentionherethisissolidcareeradvice.Ivelearnedthatifyoudontkeep
learning,youdontstandstillyoufallbehindinthegameoflife.Ivealsolearnedthat
whatIlearnedafterIknewitallwassomeofthebestandmostimportantofmy
learnings.

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ThomasCarlyleoncesaid,Whatwebecomedependsonwhatwereadafterallofthe
professorshavefinishedwithus.Thegreatestuniversityofallisacollectionofbooks.
Helivedinthe19thcentury.Ifhewerealivetoday,hemighthaveamendedhis
statementtosay,BooksandtheInternetarethegreatestuniversityofall.Today,so
manyofthegreatbooks,aswellasotherlifeandcareersuccessinformation,are
availableonline.TheInternetisagreatwaytoaccessthisinformation.Theimportant
thingistokeeplearninghowyoudoitandwhereyougetyourinformationis
secondary.

Ihaveahugecollectionofbooksonavarietyofsubjects.Thesebooksarethefirstplace
IturnwhenIamlookingforinformationtopostonmyblog,whenIamworkingwithmy
careersuccesscoachclients,whenIampreparingaspeechandwhenIamdesigninga
trainingprogram.WhenIcantfindwhatImlookingforinmybooks,Igoonline.

Mybestcommonsensesuggestionforbecomingalifelonglearnerissimple.Read.
Readtechnicaljournals.Readtrademagazines.ReadbusinesspublicationslikeThe
WallStreetJournal,BusinessWeek,FortuneandForbes.Ifyouthinktheyretoo
stodgy,readFastCompany.

Readyourcompanysannualreport.Readyourcompetitorsannualreports.Readyour
localnewspaperandTheNewYorkTimes.ReadnewsmagazineslikeNewsweek
andTime.Readbusinessandindustryblogs.ReadezinesandeBooks.Readbooks.
Readingisthebestwaytostayupwithwhatshappeninginbusiness,inyourindustry
andintheworld.

Thereareotherthingsyoucandotokeeplearning.Attendseminars.Jointhemajor
groupsortradeassociationsforyourindustry.Attendtheirmeetingsandparticipate.
Volunteerforcommitteework.Becomeknownlocallyinyourfield.Takeaclassatyour
localuniversity.Useyourcompanystuitionreimbursementprogramtogetafree
undergraduateorMastersdegree.

YoureducationdoesntstopwhenyougraduatefromcollegeorgetanMBA,itbegins
anew.Therearemanywaystokeeplearning.Decidewhichonesworkforyou,and
thenfollowthrough.Outstandingperformersarecompetent.Theystaycompetent
becausetheyarelifelonglearners.

IagreewithAlbertEinsteinwhosaid

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 Wisdomisnotaproductofschoolingbutofthelifelonglearningattemptto
acquireit.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesspointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
outstandingperformers.Outstandingperformersarelifelonglearners.Theyfollowthe
careeradviceintweet81inSuccessTweets.Becomealifelonglearner.Thehalflifeof
knowledgeisrapidlydiminishing.Stayinginthesameplaceisthesameasgoing
backward.Lifelonglearningisreallyimportanttocreatingthesuccessfullifeand
careeryouwantanddeserve.RememberwhatLouisLAmoursays:Therewillcomea
timewhenyoubelieveeverythingisfinished.Thatwillbethebeginning.Treateach
newdayasanopportunitytolearn.Stayopentonewpeopleandnewideas.Ifyoudo
this,youllcometorealizethatyouareneverfinishedlearningandthatwhatyoulearn
afteryouknowitallisthemostvaluableknowledgeyoulldevelop.

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Succe ssTweet 82

Learnfasterthantheworldchanges.Inaworldthatneverstopschanging,youcan
neverstoplearningandgrowing.

Lifelonglearningisakeytosuccess.Intodaysfastpacedworld,ifyoudontkeep
learning,yourenotstandingstill,yourefallingbehind.Oneofmyfavoritequotesfrom
Gandhinailsitwhenitcomestolifelonglearning

Liveasifyouweretodietomorrow.Learnasifyouweretoliveforever.

Hesright.Noneofusshouldeverquitlearning.Ihaveathirstforknowledgeanddo
mybesttoquenchitthroughlearning.Itrytolearnsomethingneweveryday.
Sometimesmylearningistrivial,sometimesitisprofound.Regardless,Ikeepon
learning.

OndayswhenIfeelasifIhaventlearnedanything,IturntoalittlebookthatIhave
called,LiveandLearnandPassItOn.Thesubtitleis,Peopleages5to95sharewhat
theyvediscoveredaboutlife,love,andothergoodstuff.Iusuallyfindsomethingin
therethatsatisfies.

Hereareafewofthelearningsinthebookthathavehelpedme

Ivelearnedthatifyouwaituntilallconditionsareperfectbeforeyouact,youll
neveract.

Ivelearnedthatifyouwanttogetpromoted,youmustdothingsthatgetyou
noticed.

Ivelearnedthat90%ofwhathappensinmylifeispositiveandonlyabout10%
isnegative.IfIwanttobehappyIjustneedtofocusonthe90%.

ThesearelittlelifelearningsthatIfindhelpful.

AllofthepeopleIknowwhoarecommittedtolifelonglearninghaveseveraltraitsin
common.Theyall

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 Arehumble.Theyadmitwhattheydontknow.Thisisthefirststepinlearning
whattheyneedtoknow.

Questionthestatusquo.Theyrealizethatbecausesomethingisrighttoday,it
maynotberighttomorrow.Theyknowthatdoingthingsthewaywevealways
donethemisnotgoodreasoning.

Areintellectuallycurious.Theytrulywanttolearnandfindlearningfun,
interestingandstimulating.Theyseelifeasajourneyinwhichtheyare
constantlylearning.

Arewillingtotrynewstuff.Theyexperimentandseewhatworks.When
thingswork,theyusethem.

Arenotafraidtofail.Theyseefailureasanopportunitytolearn.Justasthey
incorporatewhatworksintotheirrepertoire,theyusefailuresassteppingstones
tootherexperiments.

Aretolerantofambiguity.Learningcreatesambiguity.Thesepeopleare
willingtoletgoofpastwaysofdoingthingsinordertocomeupwithnewways
ofdoingthingsinthefuture.Thegapbetweenthepastandfuturecanmakefor
anuncomfortablepresent.

Focusonstayingaheadofthepack.Theyareearlyadoptersofnew
technologyandnewwaysofthinking.Theyrealizethatknowledgehasashort
halflifetoday.Theykeeplearningtostayahead.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
outstandingperformers.Outstandingperformersremainoutstandingperformersby
becominglifelonglearners.Theycontinuallyexpandtheirknowledgeinordertogetout
infrontofthepackandstaythere.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinTweet82inSuccess
Tweets.Learnfasterthantheworldchanges.Inaworldthatneverstopschanging,
youcanneverstoplearningandgrowing.Beginyourlifelonglearningjourneyby
focusingonyourstrengthsandworkingtoimprovethemeveryday.Buildingonyour
strengthsiseasierthanovercomingyourweaknesses.Whenyoubuildonyour
strengthsyoucanmakeincrementalimprovements.However,ifyouhaveaglaringgap
inyourskills,addressitnow.Dontwaittotakenecessaryquantumleaps.Whatdoyou
needtolearntocreatethelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve?Howdoyou

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planonlearningit?RememberwhatBenFranklinhadtosay,Aninvestmentin
knowledgepaysthebestinterest.

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Succe ssTweet 83

Masteryourtechnicaldiscipline.Sharewhatyouknow.Becomethegotopersonin
yourcompany.

Ihadabigtechnicallearningtheotherday.Ifiguredouthowtopodcast.Iamplanning
onturningtheseSuccessTweetsblogpostsintopodcasts.However,Ineverputinthe
timeittakestobecomeaproficientpodcaster.IpromisedmyselfthatIwouldlearnto
podcastwhenIbeganthisseriesofposts.Ispentaboutfourhoursfiguringouthowto
podcastacoupleofdaysago.Itwasntallthathard,theinformationIneededwason
theweb.NowIknowhowtopodcastandsinceknowingisnotenough,Ivebegun
doingpodcastsoftheseposts.TheURLissimple:
http://www.SuccessTweets.mypodcast.com.Ihopeyoucheckoutmypodcastsandgive
mesomefeedbackonthem.

Podcastingisanimportanttechnicalskillforme.IhadtolearnitifIweretoreachmy
targetaudiencewithmycommonsensecareerandlifesuccessadvice.Whatimportant
technicalskilldoyouneedtolearntostaycurrentinyourareaofexpertise?Howcan
youlearnit?Isuggestyousetadeadlineforlearningthisskill,andthendowhateverit
takestolearntheskillbythedeadline.

IamabigfanofSUCCESSMagazine.Ireaditcovertocovereverymonth,always
pickingupsomegreatsuccesstipsmanyofwhichIpassalonghere.Ifyourenota
subscriber,Isuggestyougotowww.SUCCESS.comanddosoassoonasyoufinishthis
post.

Acoupleofyearsago,anissueofSUCCESShadagreatstoryonlifelonglearning
entitled,FocusingonImprovementWhenYouveReachedthePinnacle.Ittoldthe
storyofanAmericanFootballcoachatthetopofhisgamewhoreachedouttoothersto
keepgrowinganddevelopinghiscoachingskills.

ThearticlewasaboutTomCoughlin,HeadCoachofthethenSuperBowlChampionNew
YorkGiants.Beforethenextfootballseasonbegan,Mr.CoughlincalledJoeTorreand
JohnWooden.Mr.TorremanagedtheNewYorkYankeestothreeconsecutiveWorld
SeriesChampionships,andMr.WoodenwonsevenconsecutiveNCAAbasketball
championshipswhenhewasthecoachatUCLA.Hewasagreatmanwhopassedaway
recently.

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Mr.Coughlinwantedtolearnwhattodotomotivateateamthathadalreadyreached
thepinnacleofitssport.Mr.Torrehadsomeinterestingthingstosay:

Leadingwheneveryoneexpectsyoutowinrequiresthatyouconvinceevery
memberofyourteamthatlastyeardoesntmatter.Andthatstoughtodo
becauseallyearlongtheyreseeingthewordsdefendingchampionsplaced
beforetheirnames.Theonlythingthatwinninglastyearmeansisthatyour
opponentsarelookingforwardtoplayingyou.Noneofthemareintimidatedby
whatyoudidayearago,andnoneofthemaregoingtorollover.Yourteamwill
havetolearnthatquickly.

Inotherwords,youcantrestonyourlaurels.Youneedtokeeponlearningand
improving.Yourpastsuccessdoesnotguaranteefuturesuccess.Thingshappenquickly
intodaysbusinessworld.Ifyourenotlearning,growinganddevelopingyourtechnical
expertise,likeTomCoughlin,youregoingtofallbehind.

RoyWilliams,HeadBasketballCoachattheUniversityofNorthCarolina,andwinnerofa
coupleofNCAAchampionshipssays:

Itishumannaturethatonceyougettothetop,orwhenitappearsthatyouare
betterthanyouropponent,totakeabreathandenjoythemoment.Whatwe
aretryingtoteach(thewillingnesstokeeplearningandgrowing)runscounterto
humannatureIremindeachplayerthatthewayyoudealwithexpectationsis
tofocusonlyontoday.

Theimplicationforlifelonglearningissimple.Nomatterhowmuchyouknow,youcan
alwayslearnmore.EarlNightingaleoncesaid,Ifyouwillspendanextrahoureachday
ofstudyinyourchosenfield,youwillbeanationalexpertinthatfieldinfiveyearsor
less.Thisisgreatcareeradvice.Focusontoday.Spendanhourlearningeveryday.
Youllbesurprisedattheresults.

Recently,IsawagreatquotefromHenryFordthatapplieshere.Anyonewhostops
learningisold,whetherattwentyoreighty.Anyonewhokeepslearningstaysyoung.
Anothergoodreasontokeeponlearning.Dontbecomeoldbeforeyourtime.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplemaster
theirtechnicaldiscipline.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinTweet83inSuccessTweets.
Masteryourtechnicaldiscipline.Sharewhatyouknow.Becomethegotopersonin
yourcompany.Becomethegotopersoninyourcompanyandindustry,likeTom

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CoughlinandRoyWilliams.Keeplearningevenafteryouvehadgreatsuccess.Follow
EarlNightingalesadvice.Spendatleastonehouradaystudyingyourchosenfield.This
extraeffortwillpayoffinthelongrun.Besidesthat,asHenryFordpointsout,youll
stayyoung.

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Succe ssTweet 84

Stayuptodateinyourindustry.Readindustrypublications.Knowthehottopicsfor
yourcompany,competitorsandindustry.

Isawablogpostonwww.askamanager.blogspot.comacoupleofyearsagothatasked
thequestion,Whenhiring,howmuchdoesindustryknowledgematter?Theanswer
wasnotmuch.Herearethefirsttwoparagraphsofthepost

Whenhiring,howmuchdoesknowledgeofyourindustrymatter?It'sanice
bonus,butinmostcasesitshouldn'tbeadrivingforcebehindyourhiring
decisions.ButtoooftenIseehiringmanagersovervaluingthissortof
knowledge,andhiringthewrongcandidates.

Ifyouhiresomeonesmartandmotivated,theywilllearnyourissueorindustry.
Hireforthethingsyoucan'tteach,likeintelligence,workethic,communication
skills,integrity,andwhatevernonteachableskillstheopenpositiontruly
requires.Itmaytakeyournewhirealittleextratimetogetuptospeed,but
oncethathappens,heorshewillblowawaythatmediocrecandidatewhose
mainadvantagewouldhavebeenstartingoutwithindustryknowledge.

Theauthormakesagoodpoint.AnditsonewithwhichIagree.Industryknowledge
shouldnotbethedecidingfactorinmakinghiringdecisions.Ithinkitisanicethingto
have.

However,onceyouhaveajob,youneedtogetuptospeedinyourindustryquickly
andmoreimportantstayuptospeed.

Heresapersonalstory.Manyyearsago,myfirstjobinbusinesswaswithalargeoil
company.WhenItookthatjob,IdecidedtolearneverythingIcouldaboutthe
companyandtheoilindustry.SoIreadthecompanyshistory,andgotonthe
distributionlistforalloftheindustrypublicationstowhichmycolleaguessubscribed.

Itookhomeastackofmagazineseverynight.Ireadabouttrendsinpetroleum
marketing,explorationandrefining.Ilearnedaboutthecomplianceissuesfacingthe
industryinthosedays,affirmativeactionforwomenwasahottopic.WhenIjoined

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thecompany,thereweremenwithwhomIworkedwhohadbeenmalesecretaries
becausewhentheybegantheircareersthecompanyhadapolicyofhiringnowomen.
Asyoumightexpect,environmentalcompliancewasalsoahotissue.

Ilearnedaboutalloftheseissues,andIwentonestepfurther.Ibefriendedcoworkers
intheMarketing,Exploration,RefiningandComplianceareas.Ihadlunchwiththem
andpickedtheirbrainsaboutwhatMarathonwasdoingregardingalloftheindustry
issuesaboutwhichIhadread.

Prettysoon,Igotareputationasaknowledgeableyoungguy.Iwasworkinginthe
TrainingandOrganizationDevelopmentdepartment,somanypeopledidntexpectme
tohavethedepthofindustryknowledgeIdevelopedinarelativelyshorttimeframe.

Oneday,IwastravelingonthecompanyplanewiththeVPofRefining.Hewasmaking
atriptoarefinerywehadinLouisiana.Iwasgoingtothesamerefinerytoconduct
somesupervisorytraining.IengagedhiminconversationaboutsomethingIhadreadin
anindustrypublication.Hehadbeenmentionedinthearticle.

Wegotintoafairlydeepdiscussionofthetopic.Whenwewerelandinghesaid,Im
surprisedIvenevermetyou.Howlonghaveyoubeenwithus?IsaidSeven
months.Hewasastonished.HesaidthatIknewasmuchabouttheissuesasmany
folkswhohadbeenwiththecompanyfor10years.Heinvitedmetovisitwithhimin
hisofficewhenwereturnedfromthetrip.

Thatvisitwasthebeginningofagreatrelationshipwiththisguy.Healwaysaskedfor
mewhenhehadtrainingorODneeds.IbecameabitofastarbecauseItookthetime
tobecomeknowledgeableaboutindustryissues.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Youcanbuildagreatreputation
inyourcompanybyfollowingthecareeradviceinTweet84inSuccessTweets.Stayuptodate
inyourindustry.Readindustrypublications.Knowthehottopicsforyourcompany,
competitorsandindustry.Stayinguptodatedoesnttakealotofeffort,especiallywhenso
muchinformationisavailableonlinethesedays.Takeafewminuteseverydaytoreadatleast
oneindustryrelatedarticle.Youllfindthatprettysoonyoullbeveryknowledgeableaboutthe
pressingissuesforyourcompanyandindustry.And,beingknowledgeableisagreatwaytoget
noticedbythepeoplewhocaninfluenceyourchancesforpromotion.

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Succe ssTweet 85

Alwaysbeonthelookoutfornewideas.Findopportunitieswhereotherssee
obstacles.

HenryFordoncesaid

Obstaclesarethosefrightfulthingsyouseewhenyoutakeyoureyesoffyour
goal.

Goodone,Henry.

Ihaveagreatstoryaboutthis.Itinvolvesatrashcanandahairdryercord.

Inourbathroomathome,thetrashcansitsunderashelf.Cathykeepsherhairdryeron
theshelf.Thecordloopsdowninfrontofthetrashcan.BeingthefrustratedNBA
playerIam,andalsobeinganormalguywhoturnseventhemostmundanethingsinto
sport,Imakeagameoftossingmyusedtissuesintothetrashcan.Forthelongesttime,
IfocusedonthehairdryercordasItriedtoswishmytissueintothewastebasket.It
seemsthatIhitthecordalmosttwothirdsofthetime,missingmygamewinningshot
inthe7thgameoftheNBAFinals.

OnedayIsawHenryFordsquoteonline.Thenextday,Ifocusedonthewastebasket
openingwhichisalotbiggerthanthehairdryercordanywayandIswishedtheshot;
therebywinningtheDenverNuggetsfirstNBAchampionship.Ikeptdoingthisinthe
daysthatfollowed,andIendedupwithmoreNBAchampionshipsthanRedAuerbach,
PhilJackson,BillRussell,JohnHavlicek,MichaelJordan,ScottiePippin,KobeBryant,and
Shaqcombined.IcouldntmissallbecauseIkeptfocusedonthegoal(thetrashcan),
nottheobstacle(thehairdryercord).

Thismaysoundlikeastupidstorytoldbyanovergrownadolescent.Itsnot.Itmakes
animportantpoint.WhenItriedtoavoidtheobstacle,Ihititveryfrequently.WhenI
triedtohitthegoalandignoredtheobstacle,Ibeganmakingtheshotsachievingmy
goal.Andthatswhatyouneedtodo,too.

Keepfocusedonyourgoals.Donttakeyoureyesoffofthembecauseyoullbegin
seeingalloftheobstaclestoovercomingyourgoals.

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ThirtyyearsagothisSeptember,IenrolledinaPhDprogramatHarvard.Ihadto
overcomequiteafewobstaclesintheprocess.First,Ihadtogetaccepted.OnceIwas
accepted,Ihadtofigureouthowtopayfortheprivilegeofattendinganeliteuniversity.
ThenIhadtomakesureIgraduated.

IspentthetimenecessaryandwrotetheverybestapplicationIcould.Igotaccepted,
oneobstacledown.IsoldmycarwhenImovedtoCambridge.Thismoney,alongwith
grants,studentloans,workstudyjobsandaparttimeteachingjobatNortheastern
Universitywereenoughtopayformyeducation.Bytheway,Iwasinmylate40swhen
Ipaidoffmylaststudentloan.

Graduatingbecamealittlemorechallenging.IleftHarvardafterIfinishedmycourse
work,butbeforeIhadcompletedmydissertation.ItookafulltimejobinNewYork.
Professorsadvisedmeagainstthis.Theytoldmethatitisverydifficulttoworkfulltime
andwriteadissertation.Theywereright.Ittookmefourandahalfyears,butI
submittedadissertationthatmycommitteeaccepted.Ikeptfocusedonthegoalthe
righttocallmyselfDr.Bilanich.Interestinglyenough,Ineverusethetitleexcept
whenIwanttogetareservationatacrowdedrestaurant.

IhavetoomanyfriendsthatareABDallbutdissertation.Thesefolkswanderthe
earthwithasenseofprofoundincompletion.Ipromisedmyselfthatthiswasnever
goingtohappentome.IkeptmyeyesonthegoaleventhoughIhadquiteafew
obstaclesthrownatmealongtheway.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleachieve
theirgoalsbecausetheystayfocusedonthem.TheyfollowtheadviceinTweet85in
SuccessTweets.Alwaysbeonthelookoutfornewideas.Findopportunitieswhere
othersseeobstacles.Obstaclesoftenareopportunitiesindisguise.Successfulpeople
seeopportunitieswhereothersseeobstacles.And,asHenryFordsaid,Obstaclesare
thosefrightfulthingsyouseewhenyoutakeyoureyeoffthegoal.Mybestcareer
advicehereistokeepfocusedonyourgoalswhetheritsbathroombasketball,or
gettingaPhDandyoullbeabletoturnobstaclesintoopportunities.

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Succe ssTweet 86

Stayfocused.Dontgetdistracted.Treattimeasthepreciouscommoditythatitis.
Manageyourtimeandlifewell.

Successpeoplearefocused.Theydontletdistractionsgetthebetterofthem.Effective
timemanagementisoneofthekeystopersonalorganization.Ifyourelikemost
people,youalwayshavemoretodothanthereistimetodoit.Imprettygoodat
managingmytime,butIdogetstressedandoverwhelmedoccasionally.Timeisavery
preciousandnonrenewableresource.Whenamomentisgone,itsgoneforever.

AsStephenCoveysays,whenyouthinkofyourtime,allactivitiesfitintooneoffour
categories:

NotImportantandNotUrgent
NotImportantandUrgent
ImportantandUrgent
ImportantandNotUrgent

Unfortunately,alotofpeoplespendalotoftimeengagedinnotimportantandnot
urgentactivities.Surfingthewebisoneofthebiggestculpritsinthisarea.I,likemost
peopletoday,searchforandfindalotoftheinformationIneedonline.Iampretty
disciplined,yetIcangetcaughtupfollowinginterestinglinkswhenIamresearching
somethingontheInternet.Followinglinksafteryouvefoundwhatyourelookingforis
notimportantandnoturgentactivity.Itisawasteoftimeandaproductivitykiller.

Notimportantandurgentactivitiescanbecometimetraps.Thesearethekindsof
thingsthatyouhavetodo,butinthegreaterschemeofthings,theyarenotlikelytodo
muchtohelpyoubecomeaprofessionalsuccess.Thesearethingslikeexpensereports
thatmustbedonewithinsomanydaysofatrip,weeklystaffmeetingsthatyoueither
leadorattendthetypesofthingsthatyouhavetodo,butoftendontcontributeto
yourlargergoals.Thetrickistogettheseactivitiesdoneinatimelymanner,butnotto
spendalotofyourprecioustimedoingthem.

Importantandurgentactivitiesarejustwhattheyseem.Iwritethisblogfivedaysa
week.Myblogisaveryimportantmarketingtool.Itincreasesmyawarenessinavery
crowdedmarket.Itpositionsmeasacareeradviceexpert.Anditreinforcesmy

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CommonSenseGuybrand.Writingandpostingmyblogisanimportantandurgent
activity.Idoitfirstthingeveryday.Imsurethatyouhaveseveralimportantand
urgentactivitiesonyourtodolist,too.Dothem,anddothemwell.

Importantbutnoturgentactivitiesarewhereyougettherealpayoffwhenitcomesto
creatingyourprofessionalsuccess.Itsimportanttobecomealifelonglearner.Thats
whyyouneedtoread,joinprofessionalorganizationsandvolunteerforprojectsinyour
company.Youprobablydontneedtoreadeverydayandjoinalloftheprofessional
organizationsinyourfieldandindustry.Theseactivitiesarejustnotthaturgent.
However,youhavetomaketimeforthemoverthelongrun.Ifyoudont,youllfind
thatyouarefallingbehind,notgettingaheadorstandingstill.

Anotherexamplemybooksservemuchthesamepurposeasmyblog.Theyincrease
myawarenessinaverycrowdedmarket;positionmeasacareeradviceexpertand
reinforcemyCommonSenseGuybrand.Idontneedtoworkonanewbookeveryday.
Writingabookisanimportantbutnoturgenttaskforme.Imanagethisbybudgeting
atleastthreehoursperweektowrite.Asonebookgoesintotheeditingand
productionprocess,Igetbusywritinganother.Inthatway,Ineverfindmyselfwithout
aforthcomingbook.

Itcanbehardtobudgettimeforimportantbutnoturgentactivitiesbecausetheyare,
well,noturgent.However,importantbutnoturgentactivitiesleftunattendedwillsoon
becomeimportantandurgentandmayevenbecomecareersuccesscrises.Mybest
adviceistofocusonyourpersonalsetofimportantbutnoturgentactivitiesandbuild
sometimeintoyourdailyorweeklyscheduletoworkonthem.

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Succe ssTweet 87

Breaklargeprojectsintosmallchunks.Theyarenotsooverwhelmingthatway.Set
minimilestonesforyourself.

JillKoenig,oneofmyonlinefriends,postedthisbitofwisdomonherFacebookpage
yesterday

Toaccomplishbigthings,youmustdothesmallthings.Thisovercomesinertia.
Toaccomplishthesmallthings,visualizethebigpictureoutcome.This
overcomesoverwhelm.

ThatsexactlythekindofcareeradviceImtalkingaboutinTweet87.Smallstepsand
minimilestoneswillhelpyouovercometheinertiathatcanstopyoufrombeginninga
bigproject.Atthesametime,youneedtokeepfocusedonthebigpicturetoavoid
beingoverwhelmedbythesheernumberofsmalltasksinvolvedincompletingabig
project.

Ivewritten14books.Writingabookisahugeproject.Itcanbedifficulttogetstarted.
Ivefoundthatbreakingdownthewritingprocessintomanageablechunkshelpsmeto
getstarted,andkeepmymomentum.Mylatestbookiscalled,YourCareerSuccessGPS:
ACommonSenseRoadmapforBecomingtheCareerSuccessYouAreMeanttoBe!Iam
inthefinalstagesofgettingitreadyfortheprinter.Inthemeantime,youcangetafree
copyoftheeBookatwww.CareerSuccessGPS.com.HereshowIwentaboutwriting
YourCareerSuccessGPS.

First,Icreatedanoverallmodelofcareersuccess.Thismodelhadfourmain
components:

1. Clarifythepurposeanddirectionforyourlifeandcareer.
2. Committotakingpersonalresponsibilityforyourlifeandcareersuccess.
3. Buildunshakeableselfconfidence.
4. Getcompetentinfourareas:creatingpositivepersonalimpact,outstanding
performance,dynamiccommunicationandrelationshipbuilding.

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ThenIspenttimefiguringoutthecareeradvicethatwouldtellreadersexactlywhat
theyneedtodotoapplyeachofthesecomponentstocreatethelifeandcareersuccess
theywantanddeserve.

Clarity

Createclaritybyfiguringoutwhatsuccessmeanstoyoupersonally.

Createclaritybycreatingavividmentalimageofyourselfasasuccess.

Createclaritybydeterminingyourpersonalvalues.

Commitment

Takepersonalresponsibilityforyourlifeandcareersuccess.

Setandachievehighgoals.

Choosetoreactpositivelytothepeopleandeventsinyourlife;especiallythenegative
ones.

Selfconfidence

Choosetobeoptimistic.

Faceyourfearsandact.

Surroundyourselfwithpositivepeople.

Findamentortohelpyoucreateyoursuccess.

Shareyourknowledgeandwisdomthroughmentoringothers.

Competence

Createpositivepersonalimpactbycreatingandnurturingyouruniquepersonalbrand.

Createpositivepersonalimpactbybeingimpeccableinyourpresentationofself;in
personandonline.

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Createpositivepersonalimpactbyknowingthefollowingthebasicrulesofbusiness
etiquette.

Becomeanoutstandingperformerbykeepingyourskillsuptodatebybecominga
lifelonglearner.

Becomeanoutstandingperformerbylearningtomanageyourtimeandlife.

Becomeanoutstandingperformerbylivingahealthylifestyle.

Becomeadynamiccommunicatorbydemonstratingstrongconversationskills.

Becomeadynamiccommunicatorbywritingclearlyandsuccinctly.

Becomeadynamiccommunicatorbymasteringpublicspeakingskills.

Buildrelationshipsthroughselfawareness.Usethisknowledgetobetterunderstand
others.

Buildrelationshipsbypayingitforward;givewithnoexpectationofreturn.

Buildrelationshipsbyusingconflicttostrengthen,notweaken,relationshipswiththe
importantpeopleinyourlife.

OnceIhadthese23ideasdownandthistookquiteabitofthinkingandworkIwas
readytobeginwriting.Eachchapterbecameaminimilestone.Writing23focused
chapterswaseasierformethanwritingabookonsuchalargeandcomplextopicas
careersuccess.YoucanseethefruitsofmylaborbydownloadingandreadingYour
CareerSuccessGPS.

Thisprocessworksforme,primarilybecauseIbreaktheoverwhelminglylargeprojectof
writingabookintoaseriesofsmallstepsthatarerelativelyeasytoaccomplish.Thats
thebeautyofthecareeradviceinTweet87.

Onemorepieceofcareeradvice.Ialwaysstartlargeprojectslateintheafternoon.Ido
thistocreatemomentum.EventhoughIbarelyscratchthesurfaceoftheproject,Iget
upthenextdayreadytogobecauseIhaveaccomplishedsomethingontheprojectand

248
havemomentumonmyside.Trythisthenexttimeyouarefacedwithabigproject.It
works.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
goodattakingonandaccomplishingbigprojects.Theyfollowthecareeradvicein
Tweet87inSuccessTweets.Breaklargeprojectsintosmallchunks.Theyarenotso
overwhelmingthatway.Setminimilestonesforyourself.JillKoenignailsitwhenshe
says,Toaccomplishbigthings,youmustdothesmallthings.Thisovercomesinertia.
Toaccomplishthesmallthings,visualizethebigpictureoutcome.Thisovercomes
overwhelm.Smallstepsintherightdirectionarethebestwaytogetbigthingsdone.
Onefinalpieceofcareeradvicehere:startbigprojectslateintheafternoon.Youllhave
momentumonyoursidewhenyougettoworkthenextday.

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Succe ssTweet 88

Getorganized.Organizeyourtime,lifeandworkspace.Sweatthesmallstuff.
Successisinexecution.Executionisinthedetails.

IdiscussedtheimportanceofmanagingyourtimeinSuccessTweet88.However,time
management,whileimportant,isnottheonlykeytopersonalorganization.Theother
day,IwaslookingforsomethingonmyofficebookshelfandIcameacrossoneofmy
favoritebooklets.Itscalled110IdeasforOrganizingYourBusinessLife.PauletteEnsign
istheauthor.

Paulettehaspackedalotofcommonsenseadviceintothis16pagebooklet.Imgoing
tosharemyfavoritetennuggetswithyouhere.Ifyouwanttheother100,youcan
purchasethebookletbygoingtowww.tipsbooklets.com.

10ofPauletteEnsignsTipsonOrganizingYourBusinessLife

Createyourownsystemsbasedonyourcommonsenseneeds.Modifywhatever
youread,hearorsee(includingthesetips)toaccommodateyourpersonal
requirements.
Setatossoutdateforpublicationsandreports.Ifyouhaventreadsomething
bythedate,yourlifehasprobablycontinuedfinewithoutthatinformation.
Today,informationcomessoquicklythatmuchofitisoutdatedshortlyafteryou
readit.
Decideifyoureallyneedahardcopyofeverythingyouhaveelectronically.Most
timesabackupdiskisfine.Youwillsavemoney,timeandspacenotto
mentionafewtreesbyprintingahardcopyonlywhenyouneedit.
FilepaperbyaskingwherewouldIlookforthisitem?notwhereshouldIput
thisitem?Theputtingpartiseasyitstheretrievalthatcanbedifficult.
Writethedateandcircumstancesofthemeetingoneachbusinesscardyou
collect.Theframeofreferencethisprovideswillbeveryhelpfulinfollowup
conversations.
Breaklargeprojectsintoshortsegments.Thiswillkeepyoumotivatedtofinish
theentireproject.
Scheduleregulartimeforreading.Usuallylunchtimeortheendofthedayis
bestforreading.Scheduledtimewillkeepyouuponwhatshappeninginyour
businessandlife.

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 Schedulehighbrainactivitiesduringyourpeakenergytimeandlowbrain,
mechanicaltasksduringyourlowenergytime.
Useaphoneheadsettofreeyourhandswhileyouareonthephone.Thiswill
facilitatenotetaking,andfindingitemsimportanttotheconversation.
Useaconferenceroom,libraryorunoccupiedofficetodoworkwhereyouneed
toconcentrateandbefreeofinterruptions.

Thesecommonsenseideasfororganizingyourtimeandlifeareonly10%oftheideasin
PauletteEnsignsbooklet110IdeasforOrganizingYourBusinessLife.Trythem.Ifthey
helpyoubecomemoreorganized,buythebooklettobecomeevenmoreorganizedand
productive.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
outstandingperformers.Outstandingperformersarewellorganized;theymanagetheir
time,lifeandstresswell.FollowtheadviceinTweet88inSuccessTweets.Get
organized.Organizeyourtime,lifeandworkspace.Sweatthesmallstuff.Successisin
theexecution.Executionisinthedetails.Manageyourtimeandlifewellbyfollowing
thisadvice.Engageinnotimportantandnoturgentactivitieslikewebsurfinginyour
leisuretimeonly.Completenotimportantbuturgentactivitiesquicklyandmoveon.
Focusonimportantandurgenttasks.Getthemdonewellandinatimelymanner.
Createtimetoworkonimportantbutnoturgenttasks.Thiswillgiveyoualegupon
yourcompetitionandleadtoyourpersonalandprofessionalsuccess.

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Succe ssTweet 89

Createyourownuniquepersonalorganizationsystembasedonyourneedsandwhat
worksforyou.

WhenIdidaGooglesearchonpersonalorganization,IcameacrossanarticlebyRoy
Posnerinwhichhelistedseveralwaysinwhichyoucanbecomebetterorganized.Here
arehisideasforbecomingbetterorganized:

Organizethephysicalthingsaroundyouyourhome,yourpaperwork
andyourfinances.
Increaseyourlevelofcleanlinessandorderliness.
Bepunctualandontime.
Prioritizetowhomyouremotionsandattentionshouldgo.
Manageyourtime,yourscheduleandyourwork.
Systematizeactivitiesinyourlifefromcleaningandcookingto
bookkeeping.
Balanceyourworkloadduringtheday.
Coordinateandorganizeyourcommunicationswithothers.
Furtherorganizeanddistilltheknowledgeyouhaveinlife.
Delegatework,tasks,anddutiestootherswhenappropriate.
Determineyourgoalsandaspirations.
Sortoutwhatistrulyimportanttoyouinlife.
Organizeandprioritizeyourpersonalvalues.
Organizeyourmindandyourthoughtsforbetterthinkingand
understanding.

Whichthingsonthislistgiveyouthemostdifficulty?Whathaveyoudonetodealwith
them?Whatsworkedandwhathasntworked?Pleaseleaveacommentsharingyour
advicewithus.

IvefoundthattwopiecesofRoysadvicehavebenefitedmegreatlyovertheyears.By
sortingoutwhatistrulyimportanttomeinmylife,andorganizingandprioritizing
mypersonalvalues,IvebeenabletocreatethefocusIneedtobesuccessfulinmylife
andcareer.

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Earlyon,IdiscoveredthatIvaluethreethingsaboveallothers:1)Alwaysdoyourbest;
2)Treateveryonewiththedignityandrespecttheydeserveashumanbeings;3)Be
willingtohelpotherswithnostringsattached.

OnceIcametotheunderstandingthattheseprinciplesaretheonesbywhichIwantto
livemylife,littlethingslikechoosingacareerbecameobvioustome.ThatswhyI
becameaVISTAVolunteeruponmygraduationfromcollegeandwhyIgotintothe
traininganddevelopmentfieldafterIcompletedmyyearofservice.

ItsalsowhyIveexpandedmyconsultingandspeakingpracticetoincludecoaching.
Beingacareersuccesscoachallowsmetoworkonetoonewithothers,helpingthem
achievelifeandcareersuccess.

Whatistrulyimportantinyourlife?Whatareyourpersonalvalues?Howhaveyou
usedthemtoguideyourlifeandcareer?

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Outstandingperformers
arewellorganized.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinTweet89inSuccessTweets.
Createyourownuniquepersonalorganizationsystembasedonyourneedsandwhat
worksforyou.Determiningthethingsthataretrulyimportanttoyouinyourlifecan
helpyoubecomebetterorganized.Onceyouareclearonwhatisimportanttoyou,and
thepersonalvaluesbywhichyouwanttoliveyourlife,itbecomeseasiertomake
importantlifeandcareersuccessdecisions.Ifyouareflounderingabit,gobackto
basics.Determinewhatistrulyimportanttoyouinlife.Thenchooseasetofvalues
thatwillguideyourbehavior.Onceyoudothis,alotoflifeandcareersuccessdecisions
thatmayhavebeenperplexingwillbecomeclearertoyou.

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Succe ssTweet 90

Positivetimemanagementisanimportanthabittodevelop.Habitsarelikemuscles.
Themoreyouusethem,thestrongertheyget.

HereinColorado,wearerequiredtogetourcarscheckedtoensurethattheymeet
cleanairemissionsstandardsbeforewecanrenewourlicenseplates.Itsagoodlaw,
onethathelpswiththeairqualityinourbeautifulstate.Itsalsoapaininthebutt.It
requiresatriptoanemissionsmonitoringstationandwaitinginlineforthetest.My
platesrenewinOctober,soeveryotherOctoberIspendacouplehoursgettingmycar
tested.Itpassed.

ThelasttimeIwenttogetmyemissionssticker,CathylaughedatmeasIwasleaving
thehouse.Ihadmybriefcasewithme,whichhadmycellphone,acoupleofbooksand
abottleofwater.ShesaidIwouldprobablybetheonlyoneattheemissionstesting
facilityreadingabook.ThatwasOK.IhadjustreceivedareviewcopyofGary
Vaynerchuksnewbook,CrushIt.IwantedtoreaditsoIcouldreviewitonthisblog
andtolearnafewthings.Bytheway,CrushItisagreatbooknotjustfor
entrepreneurs.

Carryingabookwithmeisoneofmytimemanagementpositivehabits.Sometimesits
anovel.Mosttimesitsabusinessorinspirationalbook.Iaminthehabitofusingspare
momentstoreadandlearn.IwasabletoreadthefirstfourchaptersofCrushItwhileI
waswaitingformyemissionstest.IalsotooksomenotesideasthatIplanon
incorporatingintomybusiness.Notabaduseofmytime.

Ireadwhilewaitingforappointmentwithclients.Ireadwhilewaitingformydentist,or
doctorandyouknowhowlongthosewaitscanbe.IreadwhenIgotogetmycar
washed.IreadbeforeamovieifImbymyself.Thisisasmallhabit,butonethatallows
metoreadatleasttwomorebooksamonththanInormallywould.Thats24booksa
yearandalotofgoodideastohelpmegrowmybusiness.

Readingspursideas.Theseideasgivemeinspirationforthisblog.Theyhelpmemake
decisionsaboutmybusiness.Theyhelpmeclarifymythinkingonmypassionhelping
otherscreatethelifeandcareersuccesstheywantanddeserve.Readinghelpsme
providebettercareeradvice.

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Readinginsparemomentsisoneofmymostpositivehabits.Whatisyourmostpositive
habit?Ifyouarethinkingthatyoudonthavemanypositivehabits,Isuggestyoucheck
outDanRobeyssite,www.thepowerofpositivehabits.com.Theresalottobelearned
there.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
competent.Theysethighgoalsandachievethem.Positivehabitswillhelpyoureach
yourgoalsbutonlyifyoutakethetimetodevelopthem.Remembertheadvicein
Tweet90inSuccessTweets.Positivetimemanagementisanimportanthabitto
develop.Habitsarelikemuscles.Themoreyouusethem,thestrongertheyget.
ReadinginwhatIcallfoundmomentsthetimeIspendwaitingisoneofmy
positivehabits.ImamazedathowmuchIlearnjustbyalwayshavingabookwithme.
ThelasttimeIgotmycartestedforemissionsIlearnedalotaboutpersonalbrandingby
readingthefirstfourchaptersofGaryVaynerchuksbook,CrushIt.Takethetimeto
developsomepositivehabitsofyourown.Youllbesurprisedathowmuchtheyhelp
yourproductivity.

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Succe ssTweet 91

Thebetteryoufeel,thebetteryoullperform.Liveahealthylifestyle.Eatwell.
Exerciseregularly.Getregularcheckups.

Youhavetobeinreasonableshapeifyouwanttobecomeaprofessionalsuccess.A
reasonableleveloffitnesswillhelpyoudealwiththeinevitablestressthataccompanies
creatingasuccessfullifeandcareer.Dietandexercisearethekeystolivingahealthy
lifestyle.Youdonthavetobeafitnessfanatic,butyoudoneedtogetsomeexercise
andpayattentiontowhatyoueat.

Imnotthebestrolemodelwhenitcomestoahealthylifestyle.Ivebattledweightmy
entirelife.However,asIvegottenolder,Ivebecomemoreseriousaboutlivinga
healthylifestyle.IexercisemoreandpayattentiontowhatIeat.

IhavefoundthattheUSgovernmentrevisedfoodpyramidprovidesgreatguidanceon
howtoeathealthy.Herearesomeofthehighlights.Itrytofollowtheseguidelines.If
youfollowthem,youwillbedoingwellfromanutritionstandpoint.

Eatatleastthreeouncesofwholegrainbread,cereals,crackers,riceorpastaeveryday.
Lookforthewordwholebeforethegrainnameonthelistofingredients.

Eatlotsofvegetableseveryday.Imluckyhere.Ilovevegetablesevenbrussels
sprouts.Darkgreenandorangevegetablesarethebestforyou.Drybeansandpeas
arealsogoodforyou.

Fruitsarealsogoodforyou.Rawfruitisthebest.Ontheotherhand,itsbesttolimit
yourintakeoffruitjuice.Itsoftenveryhighincaloriesandsugar.

Milkisagreatsourceofcalciumsomethingweallneedforstrongbones.However,
wholemilkisveryhighinfat,soitsbesttodrinklowfatorfatfreemilk.Yogurtand
cheesearealsogoodsourcesofcalcium.

Eatprotein(meat,fishandpoultry)insmallquantities.Bake,broil,orgrilldontfry
yourprotein.

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TheMayoclinicsuggestseatingatleastthreefruits,fourvegetables,fourtoeight
servingsofgrainsandpasta,threetosevenservingsofproteinordairy,threetofive
servingsoffatandnomorethan75caloriesofsugaraday.

Ingeneral,youcaneathealthybyeatingmorefruits,vegetablesandwholegrains.
Reduceyourintakeofsaturatedfat,transfatsandcholesterol.Limitsweetsandsalt.
Drinkalcoholicbeveragesinmoderation,ifatall.Controlportionsizesandthetotal
numberofcaloriesyouconsume.

Exerciseistheotherimportantcomponentofahealthylifestyle.Itsbestifyoucan
exerciseforatleast30minutesfivetimesaweek.Fitnessexpertssuggestthat,ofthe
30minutes,20shouldbespentinsomeformofcardioexercise,fiveinstretching,and
fiveinresistancetraining.

Ifindthatitsbesttochooseatimetoexerciseandbuildyourdailyschedulearoundit.
Somepeoplelikefirstthinginthemorning.Othersliketheevening.Iprefermidday.I
findthatifIexercisearoundnoon,Iamlesshungryandconsumefewercaloriesat
lunch.

Hydrationandcirculationareimportanttoo.Drinkplentyofwater.Itkeepsyou
hydratedandhelpscombathunger.Ifyouspendalotoftimeatyourdesk,takeafew
minuteseveryhourtogetupandstretch.Youcandolegliftsandstomachsqueezesat
yourdesk.Alittlebitofactivitycangiveyouaburstofoxygenthatwillenergizeyou
andkeepyoufeelinggood.

Youdonthavetobecomeafitnessfanatictobeahighperformer.However,eating
wellandexercisingwillkeepyousharpandontopofyourgame.Itwillkeepyour
stressincheck.Andwhilealittlestressisagoodthing,toomuchstresscanknockyou
outofthegame.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplearehigh
performers.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinSuccessTweet91.Thebetteryoufeel,thebetter
youllperform.Liveahealthylifestyle.Eatwell.Exerciseregularly.Getregularcheckups.You
donthavetobeafitnessjunkytobecomeahighperformer.Butifyoutakecareofyourself
youllbemorelikelytobecomeahighperformer,andhighperformanceisakeytocreatingthe
lifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.

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Determineyourpeakenergytimes.Schedulehighbraintaskswhenyourenergyis
highandlowbraintaskswhenitislow.

AlongtimeagoIlearnedthatmyenergyishighatthebeginningofthedayandatthe
endoftheday.Myenergyislowestmidday.Ischedulemyselfaccordingly.

Ireservethemorningformyimportantandurgenttaskslikewritingandpostingthis
blog.Iuselateafternoonsandearlyeveningstoworkonmyimportantbutnoturgent
taskslikewritingmybooksandotherthoughtpieces.Midday,Icatchupon
correspondence,returnphonecalls,exerciseandrunerrands.

Thisworksforme.Ithinkbestandmostclearlyinthemorningandhaveabitofa
sinkermidday.Myenergyandmentalacuitypicksupagainlateintheday.Thisis
reallyhelpful,asIgetalotdonelateinthedaywhenmanypeoplearebidingtheir
timegettingreadytogohome.

Thisscheduleworksforme.Itmayormaynotworkforyou.Youhavetodetermine
yourpeakenergytimesandscheduleyourselfaccordingly.

However,nomatterhowwellyouplanyourday,surprisesandinterruptionswillcome
along.Acoupleofyearsago,IsawagreatarticleonSuccess.combyDavidAllencalled,
ItsNotAboutTime.Mr.Allensuggeststhattoooftenwefocusonmanagingour
timewhenweshould,infact,befocusedonmanagingourselves.

Thesavvyknowthatselfmanagementisreallyanissueofwhatwedowith
ourselvesduringthetimewehave.Selfmanagementneedstoencompass
managingourthoughtsandemotions,anddealingeffectivelywithourwork,
familyandcommunityrelationships.Itsaboutgainingdynamicbalanceof
controlandperspectivetoachievemoresuccessfuloutcomesandfeelmore
relaxedalongtheway.

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 Selfmanagementisaboutknowingwhattodoatanygivenmoment.Its
dealingeffectivelywiththethingswehavetodotoachieveourgoalsandfulfill
ourpurpose.Itsalsoaboutdecidingtheimportanceofthevariedandconstant
informationcomingatus.

WhatdoyouthinkaboutDavidAllensideasonselfmanagement?Ilikethem.Even
thoughItrytoschedulemyhighbraintasksatthebeginningandendoftheday,I
sometimesendupdoingthemmiddaywhenmyenergyislowest.Ihavefoundthat,no
mattermypreference,sometimesIhavetodeviatefrommypreferredscheduleto
handlemattersthatareoutofmycontrol.

AsDavidAllensays,selfmanagementisaboutknowingwhattodoatanygiven
moment.Thismeansthatyoucannotbecomeaslavetoyourtodolistoryour
personalpreferences.Nomatterhowwellyouplan,youwillbefacedwithnew
problemsandopportunitieseveryday.Sometimes,whatIwanttodoisdifferentfrom
whatIneedtodo.Ibetyoufindthistobetruetoo.Mybestcareeradviceistodowhat
youneedto,notwhatyouwantto,asyougothroughyourday.

Doyourbesttoscheduleyourselfsothatyoucandealwithhighbraintaskswhenyour
energyishighest.Butwhencircumstancescreatedifferentdemands,suckitupanddo
thebestyoucaneverymomentyouhave.Theproblemsandopportunitiesonwhich
youfocusatanygivenmomentintimewillhaveabigimpactonthelevelofyour
performanceand,ultimately,yoursuccess.Dontbesofocusedonmanagingyourtime
thatyoumissopportunitiesbecausetheyfalloutsideofyourplanfortheday.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Ifyouwanttosucceedinyourlife
andcareer,youneedtobecomeanoutstandingperformer.Tobecomeanoutstanding
performer,youneedtobecomealifelonglearner,setandachievehighgoalsandbewell
organized.Selfmanagementandtimemanagementaretwoimportantkeystobecoming
organized.TheyaretiedtothecareeradviceinTweet92inSuccessTweets.Determineyour
peakenergytimes.Schedulehighbraintaskswhenyourenergyishighandlowbraintasks
whenitislow.Butdontbecomeaslavetoyourtodolistorpreferredmannerofworking.As
DavidAllenpointsout,Selfmanagementisdifferentfromtimemanagementbecauseitallows
youtorespondatyourbesttosurprises.

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Succe ssTweet 93

Becomingahighperformeriseasierifyourephysicallyfit.Increasingyourheartrate
isagreatwaytoimproveyourfitnesslevel.

Asacareersuccesscoach,Iadvisemyclientstoliveahealthylifestyle.Thismeans
eatingrightandexercising.Youdonthavetobecomeatriathlete;everylittlebitof
exercisehelps.Exercisehelpsyouincreaseyourheartrate.Iliketoridemybiketo
increasemyheartrate.

DanRobeyisafriendofmine.HeistheauthorofThePowerofPositiveHabits.Iam
oneofhissubscribers.Awhileback,IreceivedagreatemailfromDanonbriskwalking
asapositivehabitandagreatwaytoincreaseyourheartrate.Danisagenerousguy
andhealwaysletsmereposthispostshere.

Checkoutwhathehastosayaboutthepowerofbriskwalking

Make"BriskWalking"APositiveHabit

"Notrunning,notjogging,butwalkingisyourmostefficientexerciseandthe
onlyoneyoucansafelyfollowalltheyearsofyourlife."ExecutiveHealth
Organization

Walkingasadailyexercisehabitcantrulybealifechangingpositivehabitandis
oneofthemostpowerfulhabitsforreachingyourgoalofahealthytrimandfit
body.Overthepast20years,therehavebeendozensofstudiesthathave
proventhebenefitsofbriskwalking.

Thousandsuponthousandsofpeoplehaveimprovedtheirhealthandlostweight
bythediligenthabitofwalking.Ifyouthinkthatwalkingdoesnotprovidethe
samebenefitsasothermorevigorousexercises,thinkagain.

AstudypublishedbytheNewEnglandJournalOfMedicineshowedthat
postmenopausalwomenwhowalkedregularlyloweredtheirriskforheart

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 diseasejustasmuchaswomenwhodidmorevigorousexercise,suchasplaying
sportsorrunning.

Thisstudysuggeststhatwalkingisjustasgoodforyourheartasheavyexercise.
Ispokewithstudyauthor,Dr.JoAnnE.Manson,ChiefofPreventiveMedicineat
BrighamandWomensHospital,ProfessorofMedicineatHarvardMedical
School.Shesaid,"Thestudyprovidescompellingevidencethatwalkingand
vigorousexerciseprovidesimilarheartbenefits,abouta30%to40%reductionin
theriskofcardiovasculardiseasewith30minutesperdayofeitheractivity."

Ialsoaskedheraboutthebenefitsofmakingbriskwalkingapositivehabit,and
sheresponded,"Theycouldsurelywalkawayfromheartdiseaseandseveral
otherchronicdiseases.Wehavealsofoundthatbriskwalkingforatleast3
hoursaweekcanlowertheriskofstroke,type2diabetes,andbreastcancer.

Nopain,nogain,isanoutdatednotion;exercisedoesn'tneedtobestrenuousor
uncomfortable.Itcanbeeasyandenjoyable.Eventhoughthestudyconsisted
solelyofwomen,itislikelythatmenwouldexperiencesimilarbenefitsfromthe
positivehabitofbriskwalking.

Hereareadditionalbenefitsyouwillreceivefromyourhabitofbriskwalking:

Walkingburnscaloriesandhelpsyouloseweightandburnexcessbodyfat.

Walkingcanhelptoimproveyourposture.

Walkingrequiresnospecialequipmentorgyms.

Walkingcanhelplowerbloodpressureandhelppreventcirculatoryandheart
disorders.

Brisk,aerobicwalkingwillgiveyouthebenefitsofotherexercises,suchas
joggingandcycling,butwithouttheriskofinjuries.

Walkingatnightcanhelppromotebettersleep.

Danmakessomegreatpointsaboutthebenefitsofdevelopingapositivehabitofbrisk
walking.Personally,Iprefertobicycleinthesummer,andwalkinthewinter.

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AlotofthepeoplewhomIcoachsaythattheyknowtheyshouldexercise,butoften
cantseemtogetaroundtoit.Ihavecomeupwiththeanswertothisproblem.I
haveprintedseveralthousandstickersthatareroundandsayTUITinbigcapital
letters.Wheneversomeonetellsmethattheyknowtheyshoulddosomethingbut
cantseemtogetaroundtoit,Igivethemoneofthesestickers.ItisaroundTUIT.Itell
themthatnowtheycanneversaythattheycantgetaaroundtoitanymore,because
theyhavearoundTUIT.IhavearoundTUITstickeronmycomputer.Ihaveanother
oneonmybike.Theyareconstantreminderstometokeepupgoodworkandexercise
habits.

WouldyoulikearoundTUIT?Ifso,pleasesendmeyoursnailmailaddress,andIllput
uptofiveroundTUITsinthemailtoyoufreeofcharge.Usethemforyourself,orgive
themtoyourfriendswhoareprocrastinators.Justmakesurethatyougetaroundto
livingahealthylifestyle.Elevateyourheartrate.Briskwalkingisagreatwaytostart.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
outstandingperformers.Outstandingperformersliveahealthylifestyle.Theyfollow
thecareeradviceinTweet93inSuccessTweets.Becomingahighperformeriseasierif
yourephysicallyfit.Increasingyourheartrateisagreatwaytoimproveyourfitness
level.MyfriendDanRobey,authorofThePowerofPositiveHabits,saysthatbrisk
walkingisagreatwaytoincreaseyourheartrateandoneofthemosthealthyhabits
youcanadopt.Iagree,almosteverybodycanwalk.Themoreyouwalk,thehealthier
youllbe.DanpointsoutthatNopain,nogain,isanoutdatednotion;exercisedoesn't
needtobestrenuousoruncomfortable.Itcanbeeasyandenjoyable.So,liketheNike
adssay,JustDoIt!Orasthiscareersuccesscoachsays,Getaroundtoit.

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Succe ssTweet 94

Donttakeyourselftooseriously.Lightenup.Itwillhelpyoumasteryourselfand
becomeanoutstandingperformer.

IlovetheInternet.Youcanfindanythingandeverythingthere.Igoogledlightenup.
Igot1,740,000hitsinlessthanhalfasecond0.42secondstobeexact.Iclickedona
WikiHowcalledHowtoLightenUpandfoundsixcommonsensetipsonhowto
lightenup.

1. Stopassumingyouknoweverything.Nobodyknowseverythingeveninhisor
herfield.Whenyouthinkyouknoweverything,youbecomeclosedtonew
ideas.

2. Stopexaggerating.Betruthfulwithyourselfaboutyourskillsandabilities.Just
likeyoushouldavoidassumingyouknoweverything,youneedtoavoidcoming
acrosstoothersasaknowitall.Knowingitallsetsyouupforunwanted
stress.

3. Letgoofthings.IlovewhattheWikiHowhastosayaboutthis.Bettertobe
humbleandhumorousaboutyourjourneythroughlifethantobethedrama
queenofSeriousville.Learnfromyourmistakesandmoveon.Donthold
grudges.

4. Laugh.Bewillingtolaughatyourself.Itmayjustbeme,butIlaughabout
myselforsomethingIdoalmosteveryday.Imnotanidiot,butIdomakemy
shareofhumanmistakes.Insteadofgettingfrustrated,Ichoosetolaugh.
Laughwithothers.Sharetheirhumor.But,neverlaughatothers.

5. Delegate.Thismaycomeasasurprisetoyou,butyourenotindispensible.
Someoneelsecanprobablydoyourjobatleastaswell,andmaybebetterthan
you.Theoldsaying,ifyouwantsomethingdoneright,doityourself,just
isnttrue.Figureoutwhatyoureholdingontojusttosatisfyyourego,and
thenletitgo.

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6. Stopbeingsorulesfocused.Wemakelotsofrulesforourselves.Thingslike,I
shoulddothis,orIshoulddothat.Asoneofmyearlymentorstoldme
Dontshouldonyourself.Youllbehappier.Icouldntagreemore.

Ilovethesetips,andagreewiththem.Iparticularlylikenumber4laugh.Ithinkthat
theabilitytolaughatyourselfisoneofthegreatestgiftsyoucangiveyourselfandthe
peoplearoundyou.Beingtooserious,beatingupyourselfovermistakes,causeslotsof
stress.Anditmakesyouanunpleasantperson.Noonewantstobearoundsomeone
whoisconstantlyfrustratedbythesmallestmistakes.

Iheardastoryaboutateachertheotherday.Sheaskedsomeyoungchildrenjust
learningtoreadiftheycouldidentifytheanimalinapicturesheshowedthem.One
littleboysaid,itsafrickinlion.Theteacherwasupsetabouthischoiceofmodifiers.
Whenshepointedthatouttohim,hesaid,Itisafrickinlion.Itsayssorighthere.
Theteacherwasfrustrated,butlookedatthepictureagainandsawthatthecaption
read,AfricanLion.Nowthatscausetolaughatyourselfandthephonicsmethodof
learningtoread.

Ialsolikepointnumber6stopbeingsorulesfocused.AsImentionedabove,we
sometimescreateunreasonableexpectationsforourselvesandtheseexpectations
becomerulesifonlyinourhead.AsIvementionedabove,theserulesbecome
shoulds.DontshouldonyourselfissomeofthebestcareeradviceIveever
received.Stopthinkingthatyoushoulddothis,orshouldbesofaralonginyourcareer,
orshouldnthavetodoajobyouthinkisbelowyou.Thebestwaytostopletting
unnecessaryrulesgovernyourlifeistostopmakinguprulestogovernyou.Dont
shouldonyourself.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplework
hardatcreatingthelifeandcareersuccesstheywantanddeserve.Buttheydonttake
themselvestooseriously.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinTweet94inSuccessTweets.
Donttakeyourselftooseriously.Lightenup.Itwillhelpyoumasteryourselfand
becomeanoutstandingperformer.Ifyouwanttolightenup,laughalittlemore,and
dontgettoocaughtupinrules.Or,asoneofmyearlymentorsalwayssaid,Dont
shouldonyourself.

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Getintoahighperformancemindset.Dontquestionyourself.Trustyourskillsand
abilities.

Ifyouwanttocreatethelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserveyouhavetotrust
yourself.Trustingyourselfisoneofthekeycomponentsofselfconfidence.Self
confidentpeoplecultivateahighperformancemindset,oneinwhichtheybelievethey
willsucceedatwhatevertheyattempt.

Ifyoureadthisblog,youknowthatIamabigfanofTheOptimistCreed.Point4says,

Promiseyourselftolookatthesunnysideofeverythingandmakeyour
optimismcometrue.

Point7says,

Promiseyourselftoforgetthemistakesofthepastandpressontothegreater
achievementsofthefuture.

Youhavetotrustyourselftoputthesetwobitsofcommonsensecareeradviceinto
play.Optimiststrustthemselves.Theytrustthemselvestodowhateverisnecessaryto
meetthegoalstheysetforthemselves.Theytrustthemselvestodeveloptheskillsthey
needtomeettheirgoals.Theytrustthemselvestocreatethelifeandcareersuccess
theywantanddeserve.

ThereislotsofgreatcareeradviceinTheOptimistCreed.Ihaveprepareda.pdfofit
thatyoucandownload,printandhanginyourofficejustlikeIhavedone.Ifyou
wouldlikeacopyofTheOptimistCreed,gotohttp://budbilanich.com/optimist.

Heresapersonalexampleabouttrustingyourself.Ivetrainedthousandsofpeoplein
leadershipskills,Iveledhundredsofteambuildingworkshops,Ivecoachedhundreds
ofpeople,helpingthemcreatethelifeandcareersuccesstheywantanddeserve.
Recently,IdecidedthatIwantedtoreachabroaderaudiencenotjustthepeoplewho
workfortheFortune500companieswhohaveengagedmyconsultingandcoaching
services.

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Todothis,IneededtomakemyideasmorewidelyavailableviatheInternet.Several
yearsago,IrealizedthatIdidnthaveaclueabouthowtoprepare,presentandmarket
myideasontheInternet.Itrustedmyknowledgeandwisdom,butIdidntknowhowto
getittoabroaderaudience.Thismighthavestoppedsomefolksdeadintheirtracks.
ButItrustmyabilitytolearnnewskills.

FirstIlearnedhowtoblog,andthenIcommittedtobloggingfivedaysaweek.Ivekept
thatcommitmentforthepastfiveyears.IblogeveryMondaythroughFriday,withthe
exceptionoftwoweeksattheendoftheyear.Thats250postseveryyear.ThenI
learnedaboutsocialmedia.IspendaboutanhouradayonTwitter,LinkedInand
Facebook,sharingmythoughtsonlifeandcareersuccess.Finally,Imcontinuingto
learnaboutInternetmarketingaffiliateprograms,membershipsites,etc.WhenI
started,IhadnoInternetmarketingskills.Today,Iamabitofanexpert.Isaythis
realizingthatIneedtokeeplearningandgrowinginthisfield.

Itrustedmyself.IknewIhadsomethingofvaluetogive,andIknewIcouldlearnthe
skillsnecessarytoreachlargenumbersofpeople.Bytheendofthisyear,Iwillhave
launchedseveralinformationproductsontheInternetallbecauseItrustedmyability
tolearnandmymotivationtodonewthings.

Howaboutyou?Doyoutrustyourself?Doyoubelievethatwhatyouhavetoofferis
importantandofhighquality?Doyoubelievethatyoucanlearnwhatyouneedto
knowtosucceed?Ibetyoudo,oryouwouldntbereadingthisblogpost.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplebelieve
inthemselves.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinTweet95inSuccessTweets.Developa
highperformancemindset.Dontquestionyourself.Trustyourskillsandabilities.
Trustingyourskillsandabilitiesmeansknowingwhenyouneedtolearnsomethingnew,
andthendoingwhateverittakestogainthatknowledge.Beaselfconfidentoptimist.
Trustyourself.Knowinyourheartofheartsthatyouwillsucceed.

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Succe ssTweet 96

Goodtrulyistheenemyofgreat.Dontsettleforgoodperformance.Today,good
performanceismediocre.Becomeagreatperformer.

Inhisbook,GoodtoGreat,JimCollinshitthenailontheheadwhenhebeganwiththe
ideathatgoodistheenemyofgreat.Hesright,goodistheenemyofgreat.Thereare
lotsofgoodperformers,butonlyafewgreatones.Toachievethelifeandcareer
successyouwantanddeserve,youneedtobecomeagreatperformernotjustagood
one.

Goodisseductive.Formanyofus,itsnottoodifficulttobegood.Andgoodhasanice
feelingattachedtoit.Ontheotherhand,goodperformancewontgetyoutothetopof
thepromotionlistandkeepyouoffofthelayofflist.Greatperformancewill.

Butgreatperformancecomeswithaprice.Youhavetoworkatit.InTheSuccess
Principles:HowtoGetFromWhereYouAretoWhereYouWanttoBe,JackCanfieldof
ChickenSoupfortheSoulfamequotesseveralgreatperformersonpayingtheprice

IfpeopleknewhowhardIhadtoworktogainmymastery,itwouldntseem
wonderfulatall.Michelangelo

WhenIplayedwithMichaelJordanontheOlympicteam,therewasahugegap
betweenhisabilityandtheabilityoftheothergreatplayersonthatteam.But
whatimpressedmewasthathewasalwaysthefirstoneonthefloorandthelast
onetoleave.SteveAlford,HeadBasketballCoach,UniversityofNewMexico.

IfImissadayofpractice,Iknowit.IfImisstwodays,mymanagerknowsit.IfI
missthreedays,myaudienceknowsit.AndrePrevin,Pianist,Conductorand
Composer.

Talentischeaperthantablesalt.Whatseparatesthetalentedindividualfrom
thesuccessfuloneisalotofhardwork.StephenKing,BestsellingNovelist

Herearefourpeopleanartist,abasketballplayer,apianistandawriterallsaying
thesamething:goodistheenemyofgreat.

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Yournaturaltalentmightallowyoutobegood.Great,however,requiresdetermination
andpersistence.

Herearesomeinterestingideasaboutthedifferencebetweengoodandgreatwhenit
comestosales.TheycomefromastudydonebyHerbertTrueatNotreDame
University.

44%ofallsalespeoplequittryingtoselltheirprospectafterthefirstcall.
24%quitafterthesecondcall.
14%quitafterthethirdcall.
12%quittryingafterthefourthcall.

Greatsalespeoplemakethefifthandsixthcalls.AccordingtoMr.True,60%ofallsales
aremadeafterthefourthcall.And,accordingtohisresearch,94%ofallsalespeople
giveupafterfourcallstooneprospect.The14%and12%ofsalespeoplewhogiveup
afterthethirdandfourthcallsareprobablyprettygoodsalespeople.However,the
greatsalespeoplemakethefifthandsixthcallsandmakemoresales.

Recently,Iworkedforaboutsixmonthstoclosealarge(formeatleast)sale.Atfirst,I
seemedtobegettingnowhere,butIbelievedinmyselfandknewthattheservicesIwas
sellingwerevaluabletothecompanytowhichIwassellingthem.Aftersixmonthsand
waymorethansixmeetingswithnumerouspeople,allofwhomhadsomeinputinto
thebuyingdecision,Ireceivedasignedpurchaseorderfor$105,000.Iwasgreatat
leastwhenitcametothissale.

Mybestcareeradviceongoingfromgoodtogreatistopersist.Practiceharder,
preparemore,maketheextracall,rewriteyourproposal,rehearseyourpresentation,
andyouwillfindyourselfcreatingthecareerandlifesuccessyouwantanddeserve.

SomeofthebestcareeradviceonpersistencethatIvecomeacrosscomesfromCalvin
Coolidge,30thPresidentoftheUnitedStates

Nothinginthisworldcantaketheplaceofpersistence.Talentwillnot;nothing
ismorecommonthanunsuccessfulpeoplewithtalent.Geniuswillnot;
unrewardedgeniusisalmostaproverb.Educationwillnot;theworldisfullof

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 educatedderelicts.Persistenceanddeterminationaloneareomnipotent.The
slogan,"presson,"hassolvedandalwayswillsolvetheproblemsofthehuman
race.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
greatperformers.TheyfollowtheadviceinTweet96inSuccessTweets.Goodtrulyis
theenemyofgreat.Dontsettleforgoodperformance.Today,goodismediocre.
Becomeagreatperformer.Hardworkandpersistencearethebestwaystobecomea
greatperformer.Ifyoupracticelonger,preparemore,maketheextracall,rewriteyour
proposal,rehearseyourpresentation,youwillfindyourselfcreatingthelifeandcareer
successyouwantanddeserve.

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Succe ssTweet 97

Today,dothethingsotherswontdo;sotomorrowyoucandothethingstheycant.

IgotthisonefromJerryRiceanAmericanFootballplayer.HeisintheNFLHallofFame.
Whenheretired,heheldalloftheimportantrecordsawidereceivercouldamass.Ive
neverseenanyonebetterandIvewatchedalotoffootballovertheyears.Growing
upinPittsburgh,SundaysmeanttwothingschurchandthePittsburghSteelers.

JerryRicewaswellknownforhiscommitmenttofitness.Heworkedoutharderand
longerthananyotherprofootballplayer.Whenhewasaskedthesecretofhissuccess,
hesaid,Iamwillingtodothethingstodaythatotherswontdo,soIcandothingson
Sundaythattheycantdo.Inotherwords,workhard,prepare,committotaking
personalresponsibilityforyourownsuccess.

Itssimple,really.Successisalluptoyou,andme,andanyoneelsewhowantsit.We
allhavetotakepersonalresponsibilityforourownsuccess.Iamtheonlyonewhocan
makemeasuccess.Youaretheonlyonewhocanmakeyouasuccess.Becomewilling
todothingsthatothersareunwillingtodoandthiscanbeamillionlittlethingslike
keepingyourclothesingoodrepair;shiningyourshoes;rehearsingyourpresentation
outloud;proofreadingyouremails,notjustrelyingonspellcheck;stayinguptodateon
yourcompany,yourcompetitorsandyourindustry,buildingrelationshipsbydoing
willinglyforothers.

Ifyoualreadydothesekindsofthings,bravo.Youreintheminority.Toomanypeople
doonlywhattheyhaveto.Successfulpeoplealwaysgotheextramile.AsJerryRice
says,theydothethingsotherswont.

Thinkforaminute.Whatarethekindsofthingsthatyoucandothatgoaboveand
beyond,thatdemonstrateyourcommitmenttoyourownsuccess?Makealist.Thengo
aboutdoingthesethingsregularly.

Heresabitofcareeradvice.Stuffhappens:goodstuff,badstuff,frustratingstuff,
unexpectedstuff.Successfulpeoplerespondtothestuffthathappensinapositiveway.
Humansaretheonlyanimalswithfreewill.Thatmeansweyouandmegetto

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decidehowwereacttoeverysituationthatcomesup.Whenyoutakeresponsibilityfor
respondingpositivelytopeopleandeventsespeciallynegativepeopleandevents
youredoingthethingsthatalotofpeoplewontdo.Thismeansthatyoullbemore
successfulinthelongrun.

Personalresponsibilitymeansrecognizingthatyouareresponsibleforyourlifeandthe
choicesyoumake.Itmeansthatyourealizethat,whileotherpeopleandeventshave
animpactonyourlife,thesepeopleandeventsdontshapeyourlife.Whenyouaccept
personalresponsibilityforyourlife,youownuptothefactthathowyoureacttopeople
andeventsiswhatsimportant.Andyoucanchoosehowtoreacttoeverypersonyou
meetandeverythingthathappenstoyou.

Theconceptofpersonalresponsibilityisfoundinmostwritingsonsuccess.Stephen
CoveysfirsthabitinThe7HabitsofHighlyEffectivePeopleis,Beproactive.Myfriend
JohnMillersbook,QBQ:theQuestionBehindtheQuestion,asksreaderstopose
questionstothemselveslike,WhatcanIdotobecomeatopperformer?Whenyou
askandanswerthisquestion,youllbeonyourwaytodoingthethingsthatotherwont
doandgettingthepromotionsandrecognitionthattheycantget.

Inmyopinion,allofthiscomesdowntotwowords:activityandpersistence.Activity
andpersistencearemywatchwords.Isetsomeveryhighgoalsformyselfeveryyear.I
begineachyearinhighgearandthenIkickitintooverdrive.And,IpersistuntilI
achieveallofmygoals,nomatterwhat.Iamcommittedtoactivityandpersistence.

MikeLitmanhassomeinterestingthingstosayaboutactivity

Activity.Activity.Activity.Toomanypeoplearestandingstill.Toomuch
pondering,toolittleaction.Toomuchscatteredness,toolittlefocus.Toomuch
talk,toolittleresults.In2009,committoayearfilledwithactivity.Be1%more
activeeachdayinyourbusiness.Startat1%.

Activity.Activity.Activity.Whenyoustandstilltoolong,movingbecomesreal
tough.Verytough.Everyday,doatleastoneactionthatmovesyouforward.
WhatIlovebestaboutalotofactivity,isthatIgettomakemistakesandlearn
whatworks.Youcandothesame.Activity.Activity.Activity.2009isabout
youbeingmoreactivethanyouveeverbeen.Areyouin?Areyoureadyto
committoayearfilledwithactivity?

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KevinEikenberrywritestoleaders,buthisideasapplytoanyonewhowantstocreate
lifeandcareersuccess.Hesays

Letmebeblunt.Wecancreateandengageinthebestleadershipskilltraining,
wecancreatethebestleadershipdevelopmentopportunities,andwecan
providecoachingandmentoringthatisoutstanding,andyet,ifallofthese
programsandleadershipactivitiesdon'tincludeanongoingpersistentprocessof
improvementawaytoinstillandinspirepersistencewewillfallshortofwhat
ispossibleAskyourselftodaywhatyoucandotocreategreaterpersistencein
yourselfandyourorganization.Youranswer(andtheactiontakenonthat
answer)willpayyourichrewards.

Theseguysareright!Activityandpersistencewillmakeyouanoutstandingperformer.
AndtheyarethekeytoputtingtheadviceinSuccessTweet97towork.Activityeven
1%morethanyoucurrentlydoandpersistencefightingthroughproblemsand
setbackswillyieldpositiveresultsinthelongterm.Butyouhavetocommittothem.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeople
committotakingresponsibilityfortheirlifeandcareersuccess.Theyfollowthecareer
adviceinTweet97inSuccessTweets.Today,dothethingsotherswontdo;so
tomorrowyoucandothethingstheycant.Bewillingtoputinthetimetoprepareso
thatyoucancreatethelifeandcareersuccessthatyouwantanddeserve.Successful
peoplearewillingtodowhateverittakestosucceed.Theyareactiveandtheyare
persistent.Thelawofinertiasaysthatabodyinmotiontendstostayinmotion.Thats
whyactivityissoimportant.Onceyougetmoving,itseasiertostaymovingtowards
yourgoals.Anditseasiertopersistinthefaceofproblemsandsetbacks.To
paraphraseMuhammadAli:Insidearingorout,aintnoshameingoingdown.Its
stayingdownthatsshameful.Persistentpeopledontstaydown;theygetbackupand
keepmoving.Makeactivityandpersistenceyourwatchwords.You'llamazeyourself
withhowmuchyouwillaccomplish,andthelifeandcareersuccessyouwillcreate.

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Succe ssTweet 98

Dontworryaboutgettingcreditfordoingthejob.Worryaboutgettingthejobdone
wellaccuratelyandontime.

HarryTruman,33rdPresidentoftheUnitedStates,reallygotitrightwhenheprovided
thisbitofcareeradvice:Itsamazingwhatyoucanaccomplishifyoudontcarewho
getsthecredit.

ManyyearsagoIwasassignedajointprojectwithadeadbeatforapartner.Thisguy
wasbad.Hewasatriplethreatnotsobright,abigegoandlazy.Astheprojectwore
onandwewerenearingadeadline,Ithoughtaboutgoingtomybossandcomplaining
thathewasntcarryinghisweight.Idecidednottodoso.

Isloggedon,gottheprojectdonewellandontimeandsubmitteditwithhisname
andmineonthefinishedproduct.Iwasfeelingkindofresentful,becauseIwasworried
thateventhoughIdidallthework,hewasgettinghalfofthecredit.

Acoupleweekslater,ourbosscalledmeintohisoffice.Hesaidthathewantedto
complimentmeonthefinejobIdidontheproject.Ibitmytongueandsaid,GilandI
workedonthatprojecttogether.Mybosssaid,IknowGilswork,andIknowyour
work.Icouldtellthatyoudidalloftheworkonthatproject.

Isaid,Thanksfornoticing.Hesaid,Iassignedyouthatjointprojectasabitofatest.
Iwantedtoseehowwellyoucouldworkwithothers.Ifiguredyouwouldgetfrustrated
withGilbecauseIknewhewasntuptodoingqualityworkonthiskindofproject.I
wantedtoseewhatyouwoulddo.Youdidthework,anddidntratoutGil.Improud
ofyouforthat.

Wecandebatehisleadershipstylehere;Idontthinkitsagoodideatotreatthepeople
whoworkforyouaslabrats.Butthisstorymakesaninterestingpointaboutthecareer
adviceinSuccessTweet98.Doyourjob.Doitwell.Dontworryaboutwhogetscredit.

Itsbeenmyexperiencethatpeopleinpositionsofauthoritycanidentifygoodwork
whentheyseeit;andthattheycandifferentiatetheworkofthepeoplewhoreportto
them.Ifyouconsistentlyproducehighqualityworkandresults,youwillgetyourdue.

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Takeitfromthiscareersuccesscoach.Focusongettingthejobdonewellandon
timeandyouwillgettherecognitiondueyouinthelongrun.Andcreatinglifeand
careersuccessisalongrunamarathon,notasprint.Astheoldsayinggoes,The
creamrisestothetop.

Deliveringhighqualitywork,consistentlyandinthelongrun,willgetyounoticedand
helpyoucreatethelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.Stayfocusedonyour
work,getcreativewithyourideas.Makesureyoucrossallofyourtsanddotallofyour
isandyoullsucceed.

Thecommonsensesuccesspointhereissimple.Successfulpeopledeliverhighquality
work,consistentlyandoverthelongrun.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinTweet98in
SuccessTweets.Dontworryaboutgettingcreditfordoingthejob.Worryabout
gettingthejobdonewellaccuratelyandontime.Mostleadersrecognizetheoutput
ofthepeoplewhoworkforthem.Thatswhyitsimportanttofocusondoingagood
joboneveryjobnomatterhowsmall.Youllbebuildingyourbrandandportfolioin
yourmanagersmind.Inthelongrun,producingconsistentlyhighqualityworkisthe
bestwaytogettherecognitiondueyou.

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Succe ssTweet 99

Getthejobdonewithwhatyouhave.Dontworryaboutwhatyoudonthave,or
wouldliketohave.

Istudiedjournalismasanundergraduate.Journalismisagreatmajor.Itteachesyouto
write.Itkeepsyouuponcurrentevents.Andmostofall,itprovidesyouwiththe
disciplineofmakingdeadlines.BobFarsonwasmyadvisoratPennState.Henever
acceptedalateassignment.Henevergaveanincompleteinacourse.Everyjournalism
studentinmydayheardhismantraoverandoveragain

Thereisnolateinjournalism.Youcantputoutablankpaper.Agoodreporter
willneverhaveeverythinghewantsforastory.Youvegottolearntogowith
whatyouvegotanddothebestjobyoucanwithit.

BobFarsonsadvicegowithwhatyouvegotreallystuckwithme.Ifinishedmy
fouryearsatPennState,gotanMAatTheUniversityofColoradoandaPhDatHarvard,
andnevermissedadeadline.Ineveraskedforanextension,andInevertookan
incompleteinacourse.

Ineverworkedasajournalist,butmyjournalismeducationtaughtmetheimportance
ofgettingthejobdonewithwhatIhaveandthat,inturn,helpedmecreatethelife
andcareersuccessIsobadlywanted.

Whenitcomestodeadlines,Ifindthatpeoplemaketwotypesofmistakes:1)Theymiss
thembecausetheyarealwayslookingforthatoneadditionalpieceofinformationthat
willbringeverythingtogetherperfectly;2)Theygetsofocusedonmakingthemthat
theydontdigdeepenoughtofindalltheinformationtheyneedtodoanoutstanding
job.

Bothareproblems.WhenIsaygowithwhatyouvegot,Imeanyouneedtofindthe
rightbalanceofgatheringalltheinformationyouneedandstillmakingthedeadline.
Avoidproblemnumber1byrealizingthatyoullneverknoweverythingyouwantto
knowaboutagivensubject.Ivebeenacareersuccesscoachfor20years,andIstill
learnnewstuffaboutmyfieldofexpertiseeveryday.Avoidproblemnumber2bynot

275
gettingoverlyfocusedonthedeadline.Ifyoudo,youruntheriskofnotdoingasgooda
jobasyoucanonanygivenproject.

Gowithwhatyouvegotonlyafteryoudoanexhaustiveinformationsearchandmake
surethatyouhavealltheinformationyoucanpossiblyfindandstillmakethedeadline.

Inapostearlierthisweek,Imentionedagreatlittlebook:QBQ:TheQuestionBehind
theQuestionbymyfriendJohnMiller.Ifyoufindyourselfneedinginformationor
materialstogetajobdoneright,dontask,WhywontpeoplegivemewhatIneedto
domyjob?Insteadaskyourself,HowcanIgetwhatIneedtogetthisjobdoneright
andontime?Theanswertothatquestionwillputyouincharge.Youllbebetterable
togowithwhatyouvegottogetthejobdonewell.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplemeet
deadlines.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinTweet99inSuccessTweets.Getthejob
donewithwhatyouhave.Dontworryaboutwhatyoudonthave,orwouldliketo
have.Takepersonalresponsibilityfordoingtheworkwithwhatyouhaveorgetting
whatyouneedtodotheworkwell.Ifyoudonthavewhatyouneed,dowhateverit
takestogetit.Takepersonalresponsibilityformakingsureyouhavewhatyouneedto
doyourjobwell.Takingpersonalresponsibilityforgettingthejobdonewithwhatyou
have,notwhatyouwantwillsetyouapartfromthepackandputyouontheroadto
thelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.

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Succe ssTweet 100

Careaboutwhatyoudo.Ifyoucarealittle,youllbeanOKperformer.Ifyoucarea
lot,youllbecomeanoutstandingperformer.

Ifyoureadthisblogregularly,youknowthatIamahugePittsburghSteelersfan.Igrew
upinPittsburgh.MydadhadSteelersseasonticketsformanyyears.Hegavethemup
onlybecausehemovedtoFlorida.HelearnedtousetheInternetatage70,sohecould
followtheSteelersonline.HereallycaresabouttheSteelers.Imnotthatmuchofa
fanatic,butthereisnoprofessionalsportsteammorenearanddeartomyheartthan
thePittsburghSteelers.

OnSunday,February12009,SteelerswontheSuperBowl.OnMonday,February2
2009,MikeTomlin,theircoach,notedthatbecausetheSteelerswereintheNFL
playoffsandSuperBowl,hewasamonthbehindgettingreadyforthe2009season.
Wevegottobethoughtfulinhowweprepareourfootballteam.

Somemaysay,Chill,Mike,savorwhatyouvejustaccomplished.However,Mike
Tomlinknowsthatoutstandingperformersdontrestontheirlaurels.Theycareabout
whattheydo,andtheycareabouttheirlifeandcareersuccess.Highperformersalways
sethighergoalsandlooktowardsgreaterachievements.TheOptimistCreedurgesusto
Pressontothegreaterachievementsofthefuture.

ThatswhatMikeTomlinwasdoingthedayafterhewontheSuperBowl,andthats
whatalloutstandingperformersdo.Theysethighgoalsandmeetthem.Thentheyset
highergoalsandmeetthemtoo.

MikeTomlinis36yearsold.HeistheyoungestcoachtowinaSuperBowl.Thats
prettyimpressive.ButnottoTomlin.Becausehecaresdeeplyaboutwinninghesays
heexpectedthatkindofsuccessandexpectsmore.Ontheotherhand,heishumble.
Herealizesthatfootballisateamgame.CoachesdontwinSuperBowlsontheirown;
neitherdoplayers.Theyneedoneanother

Imanunrealisticdreamersometimes.Imblessed,extremelyblessed.Ive
beenaroundsomegreatpeoplecoaches,players,ownershipandIma
productofthat.Thatsmystory.

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Andagreatstoryitis.Itshowsthepowerofcaringaboutwhatyoudo.

Icareabouthelpingpeoplecreatethelifeandcareersuccesstheywantanddeserve.I
carealot.ThatswhyIwroteSuccessTweetsandIgiveitawayforfree.ThatswhyI
amwritingthisseriesofblogpostsexplainingeachofthe141tweetsinmoredetail.I
caresomuchaboutthisthatIvecommittedtowriting700or800wordseverydayfor
28weeks.Ivealsocommittedtodoingapodcastoneachofthetweets.Idothis
becauseIcare.Icarealotabouthelpingyouachievethekindofcareersuccessyou
deserve.AndIknowthatthiscaringwillpayoffinmebecominganoutstandingcareer
successcoachsomebodywhogivesreallygreatcareeradvice.

Whenyoucareyoudoyourverybest.Thisyearmarksthe50thanniversaryofthe
publicationofoneofmyfavoritebooks:ToKillaMockingbird.Thereisapassageinthat
bookthathasalwaysstuckwithme.ItsinChapter11andisspokenbyAtticusFinch,
thefather,playedbyGregoryPeckinthefilm.HesspeakingtoScout,hisdaughter

Iwantedyoutoseewhatrealcourageis,insteadofgettingtheideathat
courageisamanwithaguninhishand.It'swhenyouknowyou'relickedbefore
youbeginbutyoubeginanywayandyouseeitthroughnomatterwhat.You
rarelywin,butsometimesyoudo.

Ittakescouragetocare.Becausewhenyoucare,youputyourselfoutthere.Youdo
yourbest.Anddoingyourbestcanbeascarything.Whenyoucare,whenyou
consciouslydoyourbestandfail,itisheartbreaking.Butatleastyouhavethe
satisfactionofknowingyoudidyourbest.

IrememberwhenIappliedtograduateschoolatHarvard.IdecidedthatIwasgoingto
demonstratetomyselfhowmuchIcaredbywritingtheverybestapplicationIcould.I
wasntgoingtoletmyselfoffthehookifIdidntgetacceptedbysaying,Icouldhave
writtenabetterapplication,butIjustdidntspendthetimeIshouldhave.

WhenIputmyapplicationinthemailboxwestilldidquaintthingslikethatbackinthe
olddaysIwasproudofwhatIhadwritten.IknewitwastheverybestIcoulddo.I
wasalsofrightenedbecauseIknewthatmybestmightnotbegoodenough.Afterall,
bothofmyotherdegreeswerefromstateschools.WhowasItothinkthatthosekind
ofcredentialswouldgetmeacceptedatHarvard?

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Icaredaboutthequalityofmyapplication,soIdidtheverybestIcould.Thestoryin
thiscasehasahappyending.Iwasacceptedandgotmydegree.EvenifIhadnotbeen
accepted,IwouldhavebeenproudofmyselfbecauseIcaredenoughtowritethebest
applicationIcould,andIdaredenoughtoadmitittomyself.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
proudofwhattheydo.Theycare.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinSuccessTweet100.
Careaboutwhatyoudo.Ifyoucarealittle,youllbeanOKperformer.Ifyoucarea
lot,youllbecomeanoutstandingperformer.Doesyourworkshowthatyoucare?Or
doesitreflectanitsgoodenoughattitude?Takeitfromacareersuccesscoach,if
youwanttocreatethelifeandcareersuccessofwhichyouarecapable,makesurethat
howmuchyoucareshowsthroughineverysinglepieceofworkyoudo.

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Succe ssTweet 101

Alldynamiccommunicatorshavemasteredthreebasiccommunicationskills:
conversation,writing,andpresenting.

Thelifeofabusinesstraveler,especiallyonelikemewhotravelstoNewYorkCity
regularly,appearsglamorousatfirstglance.PeoplealwaysaskmeifIveeatenat
famousrestaurantslike21orthelatesthotspottheyvereadaboutinTraveland
Leisure.

MostoftenwhenIminNewYorkanddonthaveabusinessdinner,IdineonChinese
fooddeliveredtomyhotelroomfromalocaltakeoutplace.Oncemyfortunecookie
read,Yourtalentswillberecognizedandsuitablyrewarded.Iwashappywiththis
fortune,butitmademethink.

Mytalents,yourtalents,everyonestalentswillberecognizedandrewardedifwe
developanduseourcommunicationskills.Therearethreetypesofcommunication
skillscriticallyimportantforcareerandlifesuccess:1)Conversationskills;2)Writing
skills;and3)Presentationskills.

Youneedtodevelopeachoftheseskillsifyouwanttohaveyourtalentsrecognized.
Thereareafewcommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointsassociatedwithbecominga
dynamiccommunicator.

Becomeagoodconversationalistbylistening.Takeanactiveinterestinotherpeople
andwhattheyresaying.Showthemyourelisteningbyaskingappropriatefollowup
questionstowhattheysay.

Conversationskillsenhanceyournetworkingability.Networkingisanimportantbut
oftenoverlookedcommunicationskill.Itishelpfulwhenyouarelookingforajob,butit
isevenmoreimportantwhenyouarehappywithyoursituation.Allpeoplewhoarea
careersuccessbuildandnurturestrongnetworks.

Networkingisanimportantskill.Successfulpeoplehavelargenetworks.Theyhave
peopletheycancalltohelpthem.Theyknowtheycancallonthesepeoplebecause

280
thesepeopleknowtheycancallonthem.Thatstherealsecretofnetworkinglookto
helpothers,notjusttofindouthowtheycanhelpyou.

Writeinamannerthatcommunicateswell.Ingeneral,thismeansbeingclear,concise
andeasilyreadable.Thebestwaytomakesureyourwritingisreadableistoreadit
aloudbeforesendingit.

WhenIwasinhighschool,Iwastheeditorofmyyearbook.Toraisefundstocoverthe
costofouryearbook,wesoldads.TherewerealotoffactoriesinthetownwhereI
grewup.Inthepast,theyearbookstaffhadneverapproachedthesefactoriestoplace
adsintheyearbook.Iwrotesalesletterstoalloftheplantmanagers.Wegotseveral
fullpageadsfromthoseletters.

Oneoftheplantmanagerswroteback,askingifIwouldcometoseehim.WhenI
walkedintohisofficeandintroducedmyself,hewassurprised.Hetoldmethatmy
salesletterwassowellwrittenthathethoughtIwastheteacherwhowastheyearbook
sponsor.Twoyearslater,Iwaslookingforasummerjobaftermyfirstyearofcollege.
Themarketwastight.Icalledthisman.Herememberedme,andIgotajob.

Preparationisthemostimportantkeytogoodpresentations.Youhavetoanalyzeyour
audience,prepareatalkthatgivesthemwhattheywant,andpracticeyourtalkoutloud
ifyouwanttobeagreatpresenter.

Presentationskillsmaypresentthebiggestopportunityforgettingyourtalentsnoticed.
Justafewmonthsago,Ididatalkforalocalchamberofcommerce.Asitsohappens,
theSheriffsdepartmentisamemberofthischamber.TheSheriffhimselfhappenedto
betherethatday.Helikedmytalk.Aboutaweeklater,Igotacallfromhistraining
officer.TheSheriffaskedhimtogetintouchwithmetoconductsomesupervisory
trainingfortheirsergeants.Ineverwouldhavegottenthisbusinessifitwerentforthe
noticeIreceivedfromatalkatthatchambermeeting.

TheDilbertcartoonsoftenfocusonpoorcommunication.IcutouttheonesIreallylike.
HeresonefromaSundaypaper...

Dilbertapproacheshisboss(youknow,theonewiththetuftsofhairthatlook
likedevilshorns)andsays,Thesecurityauditaccidentallylockedalldevelopers
outofthesystem.Thebosssays,Well,itiswhatitis.

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 Dilbertsays,Howdoesthathelp?Thebossreplies,Youdontknowwhatyou
dontknow.Dilbert,obviouslyfrustrated,says,Congratulations,yourethe
firsthumantofailtheTuringtest.Thebosssays,Whatdoesthatmean?
Dilbertreplies,Itiswhatitis;towhichthebosssays,Whydidntyousaysoin
thefirstplace?

TherereallyissuchathingasaTuringtest.Dictionary.comdefinesitasfollows:Atest
proposedbyBritishmathematicianAlanTuring,andoftenusedasatestofwhethera
computerhashumanlikeintelligence.Ifapanelofhumanbeingsconversingwithan
unknownentity(viakeyboard,forexample)believesthatthatentityishuman,andifthe
entityisactuallyacomputer,thenthecomputerissaidtohavepassedtheTuringtest.

Thisisprettyfunny.Itisalsokindofsadasitisindicativeofthelackofcommunication
intodaysbusinessworld.ScottAdams,Dilbertscreator,reallygetsitwhenitcomesto
workplacecommunicationproblems.

BeyondBullsh*t,byUCLAAndersonSchoolofManagementProfessor,SamuelCulbert,
isaninterestinglittlebook.ProfessorCulbertdefinesbullsh*tinthefollowingway.

Itistellingpeoplewhatyouthinktheyneedtohear.Itmayinvolvefinessing
thetruthoroutrightlying,butthepurposeisalwaysselfserving.AndwhileI
appreciatetheroleofsomeb.s.inkeepingthecorporatepeace,itmakespeople
feelbeatenup,deceivedevendirty.Whenpeopletalkstraightatwork,
companiesmakeoutbetterbecausethebestideausuallywins.Incontrast,
whenpeoplearebullsh*tting,theyhidetheirmistakesandthecompanysuffers.
Straighttalkistheproductofrelationshipsbuiltontrust.

Phraseslikeitiswhatitisarenotstraighttalk.Theyarepartoftheinexplicable
jargonthathasovertakenus.Dynamiccommunicatorssaywhattheymean,inaneasily
understoodmanner.Effectivecommunicatorsdontshowofftheirlargevocabularies.
Instead,theychoosewordsthatarethemosteasilyunderstoodandstillgetacrosstheir
point.

Dynamiccommunicatorseschew,Imeandontuse,jargon.Theyavoidmeaningless
phraseslikeitiswhatitistoexplainsomething.Theyusethesimplestwordspossible
togetacrosstheirideas.Andtheydontbullsh*it.Theysaywhattheymean.Follow

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thesefourrulesinconversation,writingandpresenting,andyoullbecomeknownasa
dynamiccommunicator.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
dynamiccommunicators.Ifyouwanttobecomeadynamiccommunicator,followthe
careeradviceinTweet101inSuccessTweets.Alldynamiccommunicatorshave
masteredthreebasiccommunicationskills:conversation,writingandpresenting.You
donthavetobeacareersuccesscoachtoknowthatifyoureagreatconversationalist,
agoodwriterandanoutstandingperformeryouwillreachyourcareersuccessgoals.
Successfulpeoplecommunicatewell.Thecareeradvicehereissimple.Developyour
communicationskillsifyouwanttocreatethelifeandcareersuccessyouwantand
deserve.

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Succe ssTweet 102

Wereallinsales.Youhavetosellyourselfeveryday.Youneedtobecomeadynamic
communicatortosellyourideas.

InapostIdidonlifelonglearninginmid2009,Istressedtheideathatsuccessfulpeople
payattentiontoinformationthatmayseemasifithaslittlerelevancetothemthey
knowthattheymightlearnsomethingthatwillhelpthemcreatethecareersuccess
theydeserve.

Todayspostisabouttheinformationinabookthatyoumightbetemptedtooverlook
ifyourenotasalesprofessionalorifyouhaventreadthepostonlifelonglearningI
mentionedabove.

HowtoWinaPitch,averyinterestingbookbyJoeyAsher,mightseemlikeabook
meantonlyforsalesprofessionals.Butitsnot.Someofmybestcareeradviceisthat
wereallinsales,aswehavetosellourselveseveryday.Wehavetocreatepositive
personalimpacttogetpeopleinterestedinus,andthenwehavetobegood
communicatorstosellourideas.

Joeypresentsfivecommonsensefundamentalsforbecomingapersuasive
communicator

1. Focusyourmessageonthebusinessproblem.
2. Organizeyourmessagearoundthreememorablepoints.
3. Showpassion.
4. Involveyouraudienceinyourpresentation.
5. RehearseRehearseAndRehearseAgain.

IlikeJoeyspointsevenifhehasfiveinsteadofthree.Justkidding.Theimportant
ideaistofocusonaminimalnumberofpoints.Joeyhasfivefundamentalsfor
becomingapersuasivecommunicator.Ihavefourkeystocareerandlifesuccess:
Clarity,Commitment,ConfidenceandCompetence.Thefactthatmyfourkeysbegin
withtheletterCmakesiteveneasierforpeopletorememberthem.Inmycase,this
wasahappycoincidence.Idontsuggesttryingtoforcealliterationsoracronyms.If
yoursubjectmatterlendsitselftothemgreatgowithit.Ifnot,dontforceit.

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IloveJoeyscareeradviceaboutpassion.Heis100%correctwhenhesaysthatyour
voiceisyourfirstkeytopassion.ItsOKtosoundasifyoureexcitedyoushouldbe
excitedaboutthepointsyouremaking.

Ilearnedthisthehardway.IoncelostajobIreallywantedbecauseIdidntletmy
passionforthejobshowthroughintheinterview.Ironically,Imadeaconscious
decisiontoactinalaidbackmannerintheinterviewyouknow,Wereboth
professionalshere.Imcalm.Iknowmyself.Nosenseinoverhypingit.Asitturns
out,Iwasoneoftwofinalistsforthejob.Therecruitertoldmethatthehiringmanager
likedmyskillsandexperiencemorethantheotherguy,buthehiredtheotherguy
becauseheshowedmorepassionanddrive.Ivenevermadethemistakeofnotletting
mypassionshowthroughagain.

Bynature,Iamapassionateguy.IcareaboutwhatIdo.Afterthathardlesson,Ilet
thispassionshowthrough,whenImsellingandwhenImdoingmywork.Ihavefound
thatitshardtocaretoomuch.And,ifImgoingtofail,Imgoingtofailshowinghow
much,nothowlittle,Icare.JoeyAsherandIurgeyoutodothesame.

IagreewithJoeyontheimportanceofrehearsals.AsIoftensayonlyhalfjokingly
Preparationmakesupforalackoftalent.ThatshowIvegottenasfarasIhaveinmy
lifeandcareer.Prepare,prepare,prepareandyoullbecomeabettercommunicator.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
dynamiccommunicators.Dynamiccommunicatorshavemasteredthreecriticalskills:
conversation,writingandpresenting.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinTweet102in
SuccessTweets.Wereallinsales.Youhavetosellyourselfeveryday.Youneedto
becomeadynamiccommunicatortosellyourideas.Dynamiccommunicationhinges
onyourabilitytosellyourself.Onceyourealizethat,regardlessofyourjobtitle,you
areasalespersonandthatyouneedtoconstantlysellyourselfandyourideasyoullbe
aheadofthegame.InHowtoWinaPitch,JoeyAshersuggeststhatsuccessfulsales
peoplehavemasteredfivefundamentalskills:1)Focusyourmessageonthebusiness
problem;2)Organizeyourmessagearoundthreememorablepoints;3)Showpassion;
4)Involveyouraudienceinyourpresentation;5)RehearseRehearseAndRehearse
Again.Thisisgreatcareeradvice.Becomeanexpertinthesefivefundamentalskills,
andyoullbeonyourwaytocreatingthelifeandcareersuccessyouwantandthatyou
deserve.

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Succe ssTweet 103

Speakfromyourheart.Showthatyoucareaboutyourselfandthepeoplewithwhom
youarespeaking.

OccasionallyIseeapresentationthatisreallygreat.Thatwasthecaseawhileback.I
wasatameetingataverylargepharmaceuticalcompany.Thiscompanyisworking
hardtoadapttoitschangingbusinessenvironment.Theyareinthemidstofmassive
organizationalchange.

NatRicciardiisaseniorleaderatthiscompany.Heembodiesallofthefivekeysto
successthatIdiscussinmybookStraightTalkforSuccess.Heisselfconfident.He
createspositivepersonalimpact.Hehasbeenanoutstandingperformeroverhisentire
38yearcareer.Heisadynamiccommunicatorandoneofthemostinterpersonally
competentpeopleIknow.

IwasatameetingwhereNatwasthelastpersononaverybusyagenda.Hetookthe
stageandimmediatelywonoveratiredaudience.Hehadtostopbecauseheraninto
thedinnerhour.Buthestayedatthevenue,eatingdinnerwiththemeeting
participants.Afterdinner,hecontinuedwithaQ&Asession.Hedidntfinishuntilhe
madesurethathedansweredeverylastquestion.

Natdeliveredadynamicpresentationforavarietyofreasons.Heknewhismaterial.He
knewhisaudience.Hewasabletopresenthisthoughtsinamannerthataddressedthe
audiencesconcerns.Ithelpedthathewasaseniorexecutivepresentingtoagroupof
employeesinacompanythatisinthemidstofmassivechange.

However,therewasonethingthatputNatspresentationoverthetop.Hespokefrom
hisheart.

ItwascleartoeverybodyintheaudiencethatNatnotonlyknewhismaterial,butthat
hereallycaredaboutwhathewassayingandhowwhathewassayingimpactedthem.
Hetoldpersonalstoriesabouthislifeandcareer.Thestrengthofhistalkwashis
willingnesstosharehishumanitywiththeaudience.

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NatRicciardiisagreatspeakerandadynamiccommunicatorbecausehealwaysspeaks
fromhisheartwhetherheisspeakingtoonepersonoranaudienceofseveral
hundred.Heistrulygenuine.Youcantfakehisgenuineness.Whenyouareinhis
presence,youknowthatyouarewithsomebodywhocaresaboutwhathedoes,and
whocaresaboutthepeoplearoundhim.

Andthatsthecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhere.Ifyouwanttobecomea
dynamiccommunicator,followthecareeradviceinTweet103inSuccessTweets.
Speakfromyourheart.Showthatyoucareaboutyourselfandthepeoplewithwhom
youarespeaking.Makesurethatthepersonwithwhomyouareinconversationor
theaudiencetowhomyouarespeakingknowsthatyoucareaboutthemasmuchas
youcareaboutwhatyouarediscussingortheinformationyouarepresenting.Heres
someimportantcareeradvice.Givepeopleaglimpseofyouasaperson.Shareyour
stories;yourtriumphsandfailures,aswellasyourthoughtsandfeelingsonyourtopic.
Showthatyoucareaboutyourself,yourmaterialandthepeopletowhomyouare
speakingandotherpeoplewillhangonyoureveryword.

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Succe ssTweet 104

Learntohandleyourselfinconversation.Abriefconversationwiththerightperson
cangreatlyhelporhinderyourcareer.

IvebeenlookingoverthetranscriptsofmyoldInternetradioshow.Ihadsomepretty
interestingguestswhosaidsomeprettyinterestingthings.DebraFine,authorofthe
bestseller,TheFineArtofSmallTalk,wasoneofmyguests.Wediscussedhowto
becomeagoodconversationalist.

HereispartofwhatDebrahadtosay

Bud:Whataresomeicebreakersorconversationstartersthatshypeopleor
anyonecanusetogetaconversationgoing?

Debra:Dontbeafraidtodigdeeper.Whenyousaytothemhowswork?
theyregoingtosayprettygoodorgoodorgreatorwhatever.Digin
deeper,letthemknowyouresincerewithonemorequestion,So,whatsbeen
goingonwithwork,Bud,sincethelasttimewetalked?orifyousayto
somebody,howwereyourholidays?andtheysaygreat,saywell,whatdid
youdoovertheholidaysthatyouenjoyedthemost?Letthemknowyouare
sincere,whenyouaresincere,whenyouhavethetime.

Wesaytoourfriends,howareyou,Bud?,great,yougottofollowupwith
somethinglike,Bud,bringmeuptodatewhatsbeengoingoninyourlife
sincethelasttimeIsawyou?NowBudknowsIreallywanttoknowhowheis,
otherwisehowareyoumeanshello.Thatsallitmeans.Myownhusband
willwalkintothehouseandsayhowwasyourday?andIllsayprettygood
becausemyguessismyhusbanddoesntreallywanttoknowhowmydayisand
thisismysecondhusband,Bud,okay?Andhedoesntwanttoknow.Butifhe
digsindeeper,Illknowthathewasinterested.

Okay,sothatsjustonetip.WedontwanttobecomeFBIagents;thatswhy
thatonefollowingquestionisimportant,butnomoreafterthat.Youdontwant
todooneofthesenumbers,Bud,whatdoyoudo?So,whatsyouranswerto
that,Bud?

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 Bud:Well,Imaconsultant,speaker,andrightnow,anInternetradioshowhost.

Debra:And,Bud,itsoundslikeyouhaveanaccentfrombackeast,sowhatpart
ofthecountryareyoufrom?

Bud:Pittsburgh.

Debra:Lookatwhatjusthappened.Isaidwhatdoyoudo,Bud?andyousaid
consultant,etc.andIsaiditsoundslikeyouhaveanaccent,likeyourefromback
eastorsomethingandyourespondedtothat.IbecameanFBIagent.Thatwas
thepointofthatlittleshtick.Ifyouregoingtostartwithwhatdoyoudo?stay
ontopic.

Bud:Youmakeagreatpointhere.Peoplegetuncomfortableifyoujump
aroundinconversationsbecauseitgetsthemoffbalance,theydontknow
whatscomingnext.Soifyoubeginaconversationbyaskingsomebodyabout
theirjoborcareer,askafollowupquestionabouttheirjoborcareer.Ithinkthis
istremendousadvicemakingsurethatyoufollowupwithaquestionthatson
target,notsomethingthatgoesoffinanotherdirection.

Debra:AndImsayingtoyoutomakeitanopenendedquestion.Tellme
aboutit,describethatforme,howwasthatlikeforyou,howdidyoucomeup
withthatidea?Everybodysgottouseanopenendedquestionifatallpossible
soyoucanopenuptheconversation.Dowehaveacouplemoreminutesfor
anothertip?

Bud:Yes,wedo.

Debra:Okay,letstalkaboutthemostcommonresponsetothequestion,
whatsbeengoingoninyourlife?Doyouknowwhatmostofussaytowhats
beengoingon?

Bud:Notmuch.

Debra:Exactly.Thatsexactlyright.Wesaynotmuchornothing.AndIbet
youwouldhavesaidnotmuchifIaskedyouthatquestionbecausethatswhat
firstcameoutofyourmouthjustnowwhenIaskedthat,andyetyoutoldmeI
believeduringabreakthatyouregoingtoNewYorktomorrow.

289
 Ithinktheresalotgoingonandnotmuchisjustabunchofbologna,right?
Andthatshowitisforallofus.Weveallsaidnotmuchandwhatwereally
meanistheressomuchgoingon,IcantpossiblythinkofwhatitissoIlljust
saynotmuch.Thatswhatwemean.Theresjusttoomuchgoingontothinkof
whattosay.

Now,ifyourejustwalkingdownthehallanddonthavetimetostopandchat,a
onewordanswerlikethatisfineanddandy.But,ifyoudliketoconnectatan
annualconferencewhensomeonesaystoyouwhatsbeengoingon?please
haveananswer.Itdoesnthavetobeanelevatorspeech,justananswer,well,
wejustintroducedflextimeatourcompanyandthatsbeenahugeburden,but
Ifeellikeweveseentheworstofit,andweregoingtogetthroughit.

NowIhavesomethingtotalkaboutwithyou,flextime.Like,howdidyousetit
up,howdoesthatimpactyou?Doyougetthreedaysoffaweek?Imean,give
mesomething,itdoesnthavetobemushy,itdoesnthavetobeaboutyour
divorce.Justgivemesomething.

Ifyousaidtome,Debra,howhaveyoubeen?Imightsaywell,Ibecamean
emptynesterthisyearanditsreallybeenawholenewexperience,andnota
sadone,agoodoneandIvereallyenjoyedit.Now,didIbragaboutmykids?
No.DidIgoonandonabouthowperfectandgorgeousandwonderfulthey
are?Absolutelynot.IjustletyouknowsomethingaboutmyselfthatImwilling
totalkabout.Ifyourenotinterested,youllgo,oh,Debra,goodforyou,lets
talkaboutthatcontractwhatdoyouthink?Youdontwanttochitchat,
thatsfine.Letsgetdowntothebusinessathand.

Bud:Ithinkthatsreallygreatandthatyoureabsolutelyright.Thepointyoure
makinghereisthatifyoudogotoaneventandyouresomebodywhoisnot
naturallyabletorollthingsoffthetipofyourtongue,beprepared,because
somebodysprobablygoingtosaytoyou,whatsgoingon,whatshappening?

Debra:Yes,andyougetsomethingelsewhenyoudothis,Bud.Youbecomea
threedimensionalperson.Ifyousellinsurance,thenyoureasalespersonwho
sellsinsurance.ButifIaskyouhowwasyourweekend?andyousayitwas
prettygood,wewenttothetheaterandsawDr.Doolittleanditwasntasbadas
allthereviewssaid,youjustbecamemorethananinsurancesalesman,you
becameahumanbeinginmymind.Bysayingthatyouwenttoamusicalyou

290
 becamethreedimensional.Youarenotjustasalesperson;youarenowa
humanbeing.HumanbeingsgotoshowscalledDr.Doolittle.

Doesthatmakesense?Howwasyourweekend?Iworkedinthegarden,I
playedonmyvolleyballleague,Ifinishedagoodbook,Imfinishingmy
basement.Thatsallyouhavetosay.Youdontgoonandonaboutit.Just
givemeasentence.

Bud:Asmallbitofselfdisclosurecanbehelpfulandmakeiteasy.Letmetryto
summarize(A)Whenyouenteranetworkingsituation,putyourselfout,
introduceyourselftosomebody.(B)Whensomebodyintroducesthemselvesto
you,bethreedimensional.Doalittlebitofselfdisclosure.Bewillingtosay
somethingaboutyourself.

Debra:Right.

Bud:Onelastthing,whatdoyoudowhenallofasuddentheresdeadsilencein
aconversation?

Debra:Well,youbetterbeprepared.Theworsttimetothinkaboutsomething
totalkabout,Bud,iswhentheresnothingtotalkabout.Somyruleformyself,
andIwroteabookaboutit,isifImgoingtotakeyououttolunchandyourea
customerorclient,Ivegottwotothreethingsinthebackofmyheadreadyto
gojustincasewehavenothingtotalkabout.Maybeitscurrentevents.Maybe
itssomethingIalreadyknowaboutyou.Youhaveawife,hernameisCathy,
sheusedtobeaflightattendant.Doyouunderstand?Havesomequestionsin
thebackofyourhead,tobeabletokeepconversationsmovingwhentheres
thathugeawkwardsilence.Youvegottobeprepared.Itsnotabigdealtobe
prepared.Ittakesonewholeminute.ItsnotlikeaYogaclass.

ThatssomegreatcommonsenseonbecomingagreatconversationalistfromDebra
Fine,authorofTheFineArtofSmallTalk.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereisclear.Successfulpeopleare
dynamiccommunicators.Dynamiccommunicatorsaregreatconversationalists.Great
conversationalistsknowhowtobeginconversationsandkeepthemgoing.Theyfollow
thecareeradviceinTweet104inSuccessTweets.Learnhowtohandleyourselfin
conversation.Abriefconversationwiththerightpersoncangreatlyhelporhinder

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yourcareer.Questionsareagreatwaytoopenconversations.Useopenended,not
yesorno,questions.Followupwithacommentoraquestionthatfollowsinthesame
vein.Whensomeoneasksyouaquestion,becomethreedimensionalbybeingwilling
todisclosesomethingaboutyourselfasaperson.Ifyouknowwhoyouaregoingtobe
seeing,thinkbacktothelasttimeyousawthatperson.Thinkaboutwhatyou
discussed.Keepthesethingsinthebackofyourmind.Theycanhelpyouprevent
awkwardsilencesinyourconversation.

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Succe ssTweet 105

Conversationtips:bewarm,pleasant,graciousandsensitivetotheinterpersonal
needsandanxietiesofothers.

Howyoustartconversationisveryimportantifyouwanttobeseenaswarm,pleasant,
graciousandsensitivetoothers.SeveralyearsagoIreadaneBookbyDennisRivers
called,CooperativeCommunicationSkillsforSuccessatHomeandatWork.Icame
acrosstheeBookinmyfilestheotherday.Chapter2reallycaughtmyattention.Itis
entitled,ExplainingYourConversationalIntentandInvitingConsent.Dennismakes
somecommonsense,butseldomseen,pointsaboutconversationskillsinit.In
summary,hesays,Makesurethatyoutelltheotherpersonwhattypeofconversation
youwanttohave.Askhimorherifheorsheisreadytohavethistypeofconversation
atthattime.

Checkoutsomeofwhathehastosay

Inordertohelpyourconversationpartnercooperatewithyouandtoreduce
possiblemisunderstandings,startimportantconversationsbyinvitingyour
conversationpartnertojoinyouinthespecifickindofconversationyouwantto
have.Themoretheconversationisgoingtomeantoyou,themoreimportantit
isforyourconversationpartnertounderstandthebigpicture.Ifyouneedto
havealong,complex,oremotionladenconversationwithsomeone,itwillmake
abigdifferenceifyoubrieflyexplainyourconversationalintentionfirstandthen
invitetheconsentofyourintendedconversationpartner.

Whyexplain?Someconversationsrequirealotmoretime,effortand
involvementthanothers.Ifyouwanttohaveaconversationthatwillrequirea
significantamountofeffortfromtheotherperson,itwillgobetterifthatperson
understandswhatheorsheisgettingintoandconsentstoparticipate.Of
course,ingivingupthevaryingamountsofcoercionandsurprisethatareat
workwhenwejustlaunchintowhateverwewanttotalkabout,wearemore
vulnerabletobeingturneddown.But,whenpeopleagreetotalkwithus,they
willbemorepresentintheconversationandmoreabletoeithermeetourneeds
orexplainwhytheycant(andperhapssuggestalternativeswehadnotthought
of).Manygoodcommunicatorsdothisexplainingintent/invitingconsent
withoutgivingitanythought.Theystartimportantconversationsbysaying

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 thingssuchas:Hi,Steve.Ineedtoaskforyourhelponmyproject.Gota
minutetotalkaboutit?Maria,doyouhaveaminute?RightnowIdliketo
talktoyouaboutIsthatOK?

Whenweoffersuchcombinedexplanationsofintentandinvitationstoconsent
wecanhelpourconversationsalonginfourimportantways:

First,wegiveourlistenersachancetoconsenttoordeclinetheofferofa
specificconversation.Apersonwhohasagreedtoparticipatewillparticipate
morefully.

Second,wehelpourlistenerstounderstandthebigpicture,theoverallgoalof
theconversationtocome.Manyscholarsinlinguisticsandcommunication
studiesnowagreethatunderstandingapersonsoverallconversationalintention
iscrucialforunderstandingthatpersonsmessageinwordsandgestures.

Third,weallowourlistenerstogetreadyforwhatiscoming,especiallyifthe
topicisemotionallycharged.(Ifwesurprisepeoplebylaunchingintoemotional
conversations,theymayrespondbyavoidingfurtherconversationswithusorby
beingpermanentlyonguard.)

Andfourth,wehelpourlistenersunderstandtherolethatwewantthemtoplay
intheconversation:fellowproblemsolver,employeereceivinginstructions,
giverofemotionalsupport,andsoon.Theseareverydifferentrolestoplay.
Ourconversationswillgobetterifweaskpeopletoplayonlyoneconversational
roleatatime.

Tobeinvitedintoaconversationisanactofrespect.Aconsciouslyconsenting
participantismuchmorelikelytopayattentionandcooperatethansomeone
whofeelspushedintoanundefinedconversationbytheforceofanother
personstalking.

Itsnotuniversal,buttoassumewithoutaskingthatapersonisavailabletotalk
maybeinterpretedbymanypeopleaslackofrespect.Whenwebegina
conversationbyrespectingthewishesoftheotherperson,westarttogenerate
someofthegoodwill(trustthattheirwisheswillbeconsidered)neededfor
creativeproblemsolving.Ibelievethattheempathywegetwillbemore
genuineandtheagreementswereachwillbemorereliableifwegivepeoplea
choiceabouttalkingwithus.

294
Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
dynamiccommunicators.DynamiccommunicatorsfollowthecareeradviceinTweet
105inSuccessTweets.Conversationtips:bewarm,pleasant,graciousandsensitiveto
theinterpersonalneedsandanxietiesofothers.Invitingpeopletoparticipateina
conversationandgettingtheiragreementbeforejumpinginisanimportant,butoften
overlookedconversationskill.Peoplewhoareinvitedtojoinaconversationandchoose
todosoaremorelikelytobebetterparticipants.Ifyouwanttobecomeanexcellent
conversationalist,takeafewminutestoexplainwhyyouwanttohaveaconversation.
Asktheotherpersonifheorshehasthetimeandiswillingtoparticipateina
conversationonthattopic.Yourconversationswillbebetterandmoreproductiveif
youfollowthissimplecommonsenseadvice.

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Succe ssTweet 106

Demonstrateyourunderstandingofotherspointsofview.Listenwellandask
questionsifyoudontunderstand.

Myfriend,PamelaCulpepper,gavemeaninterestingbookacoupleofyearsago:
TurningtoOneAnother:SimpleConversationstoRestoreHopefortheFuture.Margaret
Wheatleyistheauthor.Dr.Wheatleyisanalumnaofoneofmyalmamatersthe
HarvardGraduateSchoolofEducation(webothdidourdoctoralworkthere)andthe
authorofoneofthemostinnovativeleadershipbooksIveeverread,Leadershipand
theNewScience.Ifyouhaventreadit,Isuggestthatyoucheckitout.

InTurningtoOneAnother,Dr.Wheatleyoutlinessixpointsforeffectiveconversation.
Noticehow,inonewayoranother,allsixfocusonbeingabetterlistener.

1. Acknowledgeoneanotherasequals.
2. Staycuriousaboutoneanother.
3. Recognizethatweneedeachothershelptobecomebetterlisteners.
4. Slowdowntohavethetimetothinkandreflect.
5. Rememberthatconversationisthenaturalwayforhumanstothinktogether.
6. Expectittobemessyattimes.

Hereismytakeonthesesixcommonsensepoints.

1. Acknowledgeoneanotherasequals.Youcannothaveagoodconversationif
youdontrecognizeoneanotherasequals.Regardlessofyourhierarchical
relationtotheotherpersonifheorsheisyourboss,peerorsubordinate
rememberthatweareallhumanbeings.Assuch,weareentitledtorespectand
dignity.Talkwithpeople,nottothemandyoullbesurprisedatthequalityof
yourdiscussions.
2. Staycuriousaboutoneanother.Peoplearefascinating.Ihavehadsomeofthe
mostinterestingconversationswithlimoandcabdrivers.Oftentheyare
immigrants.ItsinterestingtoheartheirtakeonlifeintheUSA.Becurious
aboutthepeopleyouknow,too.Peoplearealwaysgrowingandchanging.
Whenyouexpressyourcuriosityyoullbeboundtofindoutnewandinteresting
thingsaboutoldfriendsandacquaintances.
3. Recognizethatweneedeachothershelptobecomebetterlisteners.Help
otherslisten.Thinkbeforeyouspeak.Speakclearly.Askthemquestions;

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 answerthequestionstheyaskyou.Remember,communicationingeneraland
conversationinparticularisaprocessfraughtwithpotentialmisconnects.So
listenhardtoothersandmakeiteasyforthemtolistentoyou.
4. Slowdowntohavethetimetothinkandreflect.Whenyouslowdown,youdo
indeedhavetimetothink.Dontbeafraidtopauseandreflectonaquestion.
Thisshowstheotherpersonthatyouarecarefullyconsideringyourresponse
notjustsayingthefirstthingthatcomestomind.Otherpeoplewillappreciate
youforyourthoughtfulness,notknockyoufornotbeingquickorcleverenough.
5. Rememberthatconversationisthenaturalwayforhumanstothinktogether.I
lovethisoneconversationisthenaturalwayforhumanstothinktogether.
Theideaofthinkingtogetherisgreatcareeradvice.Theworldwouldbea
betterplaceifweallthoughttogetherinsteadofthinkingseparatelyandtrying
toconvinceothersthatourthoughtsarebetterthantheirs.Sincethisisthe
season,Iwouldlovetoseepoliticaldebateswherethecandidatesworked
togethertodevelopanapproachtohandlingaproblemorissueinsteadof
watchingthemadvancetheirideaswhiletakingswipesattheotherpersons
ideas.
6. Expectittobemessyattimes.Conversationismessy.ThatsOK.Infact,Ithink
itsgreat.Someofthebestideascomeoutofmessyconversations.The
willingnesstogetintothemessandsloparoundiswhatfreesyourcreativity.

IreallylikeTurningtoOneAnother.Itprovidessomegreatcareeradviceon
conversationandlistening.Ifyoureinterestedinbecomingabetterconversationalist
andyoushouldbepickitup,readitandthinkaboutwhatDr.Wheatleyhastosay.
Moreimportant,putherideastouse.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
greatconversationalists.TheyfollowtheadviceinTweet106inSuccessTweets.
Demonstrateyourunderstandingofotherspointsofview.Listenwellandask
questionsifyoudontunderstand.Listeningtakesalittlebitofwork,butitisworthit
inthelongrun.Itwillhelpyoubecomeadynamiccommunicatorandbuildsolid
relationshipsthatwillfuelyourlifeandcareersuccess.RememberMegWheatleyssix
pointsforconversationsuccess.Theyaregreatcareeradvice.1)Acknowledgeone
anotherasequals;2)Staycuriousaboutoneanother;3)Recognizethatweneedeach
othershelptobecomebetterlisteners;4)Slowdowntohavethetimetothinkand
reflect;5)Rememberthatconversationisthenaturalwayforhumanstothinktogether;
6)Expectittobemessyattimes.

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Succe ssTweet 107

Becomeanexcellentconversationalistbylisteningmorethanspeaking.Payattention
towhatotherpeoplesay;respondappropriately.

Ifyouwanttobecomeadynamiccommunicator,youneedtodevelopthreeskills:
conversation,writingandpresenting.TheMerriamWebsterDictionarydefinesthe
worddynamicas,Markedbycontinuousandproductiveactivity.Inmanyways,this
isagooddefinitionforaneffectiveconversation.Inaconversation,twotypesof
activitiesoccursimultaneously:speakingandlistening.Ingoodconversations,bothof
thesearecontinuousandproductive.InplainEnglish,whenyoureinaconversation,if
yourenotspeakingandprovidinginformation,youneedtobelisteningandreceivingit.

InotherpostsIvepointedoutthataskinggoodquestionsisanimportantwayto
becomeknownasagreatconversationalist.Buttotakefulladvantageofthequestions
youask,youneedtoreallylistentotheanswersandrespondappropriately.

Herearemytopseventipsforbecomingagoodlistenerandconversationalist.

1. Looktheotherpersonintheeyewhenheorsheisspeaking.Thisdemonstrates
thatyouareengagedwithhimorher.
2. Listentounderstandwhattheotherpersonissayingnottoplanyourrebuttal.
3. Listenreallyhardwhentheotherpersonbeginsbysayingsomethingwithwhich
youdontagree.
4. Knowthewordsthattriggeryouremotions.Dontgetdistractedbythem.
5. Bepatient.Somepeopletakelongerthanotherstomaketheirpoint.Dont
interrupt.
6. Askclarificationquestionswhenyoudontunderstand.
7. Repeatwhatyouhaveheardtheotherpersonsaytomakesureyougotit
right,andtoshowhimorherthatyouwerelistening.

Ifyouusetheseseventipsinconversation,youwillbecomeknownasagreat
conversationalistandadynamiccommunicator.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
competent.Dynamiccommunicationisanimportantkeysuccesscompetency.Ifyou
wanttobecomeadynamiccommunicator,youhavetobecomeagood
conversationalist.Tobecomeagoodconversationalist,followthecareeradvicein

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Tweet107inSuccessTweets.Becomeanexcellentconversationalistbylisteningmore
thanspeaking.Payattentiontowhatotherpeoplesay;respondappropriately.Learn
tolistenwell.Listening,likealotofcareersuccessadvice,isjustcommonsense.Show
theotherpersonyouareengaged.Focusonunderstanding,notonrebuttingpoints
withwhichyoudontagree.Dontgetdistractedbywordsthattriggeryouremotions.
Askclarificationquestionstoensureyouunderstandwhatisbeingsaid.Repeatwhat
youveheard.Mostofall,getinthehabitoflisteningmorethanspeaking.

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Succe ssTweet 108

Livepeopletakeprecedenceoverphonecalls.Continueinperson,facetoface
conversations,ratherthanansweringyourcellphone.

IamreallysorrythatWomensEdgeMagazineisnolongerwithus.Iusedtofindalot
ofgreatcareeradviceandwisdominitspages.TheJanuary2008issueofWomens
EdgemadetwogreatquotesthatrelatetothecareeradviceinSuccessTweet108.

Communicaterespectineveryencounterwitheveryperson,regardlessof
positionorbackground.RobynHall,RaleighPoliceDepartment
Listenandspeakatthesametime,meaningthatyouactivelyengagepeople
withyourfullattention.JudyFourie,J.Fourie&Company

Thesearetwopiecesofgreatcommonsensecareersuccessadvice.Theywillhelpyou
becomeknownasaninterpersonallycompetentperson.

Focusingonlivepeopleratherthanyourelectronicgadgetsisthebestwayto
demonstrateyourrespectforothers.Respectisthekeytobuildingstrongrelationships
withthepeopleinyourlifenotjustthosewhocandosomethingforyou,but
everyoneyoumeet.Cathy,mywife,isagoodexampleofthis.Shemakesfriendswith
everyone,becauseshetreatseveryonewithrespect.Thedrycleaner,pharmacyclerks,
mailman,paperdeliveryguy,ourhousekeeper,allloveherbecauseshetreatsthem
withtherespecttheydeserveasfellowhumanbeings.Sheisgenuinelyinterestedin
themaspeople.Thisinterestcommunicatesherrespectforthem.

Manypeopleshowalotofrespectforpeopleabovetheminthehierarchy,andlittle
respectforthosebelowthem.Thisistoobad.Oftenpeoplebelowyoucandoasmuch
ormoreforyouthanthoseaboveyou.Butthatsnotthepoint.Thepointisthat
theyrepeopletoo,andassuch,areentitledtoyourrespect.

TheOptimistCreedhassomegreatthingstosayaboutrespect.Itencouragesusto,
Promiseyourselftomakeallyourfriendsfeelasifthereissomethinginthemandto
giveeverylivingcreatureyoumeetasmile.IfyouwantacopyofTheOptimistCreed
tohanginyouroffice,gotohttp://BudBilanich.com/optimist.

Thesecondquoteisinterestingforwhatithastosayabouthumaninteraction.Ilike
theideaoflisteningandspeakingatthesametime.Inotherwords,asyouengage

300
someone,listenverycarefullytowhatheorshehastosaysoyoucanrespond
appropriately.Whatyousayshouldbedirectlyrelatedtowhatheorshehasjustsaid.
Thisdemonstratesthatyouarelistening.Italsodemonstratesthatyouvaluewhathe
orshesaysagreatwaytoshowsomeonethatyourespecthimorher.

Beingfullyengagedmeansthatyoushutoutthedistractionsoftheworldandfocus
yourattentiononthepersonwithwhomyourehavingaconversation.Peopletellme
thatIseemtoneveranswermycellphone.Thisistrue.Itellpeoplethatmycellphone
isnotagoodwaytocontactmebecauseitisusuallyoff.Mycellphoneisusuallyoff
becauseIamofteninconversationswithmyclients.Idontwantthedistractionofa
ringingorvibratingcellphonewhenImtryingtoconcentrateonanotherpersonand
whatheorsheissaying.

Thetwoquotesatthebeginningofthispostarecomplementary.Oneofthebestways
toshowothersthatyourespectthemistoengagethem.Oneofthebestwaysto
engagepeopleistolistentowhattheysayandrespondappropriately.Ifyoukeep
thesetwopiecesofcommonsenseinmindasyoumeetpeople,youllbeonyourway
tobecomingknownasaninterpersonallycompetentperson.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Demonstrateyour
respectforotherpeoplebypayingattentiontothemandwhattheyhavetosay.Follow
thecareeradviceinTweet108inSuccessTweets.Livepeopletakeprecedenceover
phonecalls.Continueinperson,facetofaceconversations,ratherthanansweringyour
cellphone.Focusingonlivepeopleratherthanyourelectronicgadgetsisthebest
waytodemonstrateyourrespectforothers.Respectisthekeytobuildingstrong
relationshipswiththepeopleinyourlifenotjustthosewhocandosomethingforyou,
buteveryoneyoumeet.

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Succe ssTweet 109

Usethe2/31/3rule.Listentwothirdsofthetime;speakonethirdofthetime.
Focusyourcompleteattentionontheotherperson.

Listeningtoothersandthenrespondingappropriatelyisoneofmyfirstrulesfor
becominganoutstandingconversationalist.Ialwaysurgemycareersuccesscoach
clientstodothreethingswhentheyareinconversation:1)Asklotsofquestions;2)
Reallylistentowhattheotherpersonissaying;3)Respondappropriately;Laughifthe
personsayssomethingfunny.Commiserateifthepersonrevealssomethingthatissad.
Makesuretheotherpersonknowsyouaretunedinandpayingattention.

Mostpeopleliketotalkaboutthemselves.Thatswhylisteningissoimportant.You
cangainareputationasagreatconversationalistevenifyoudontsaymuch.
Listeningisthatimportant.Thatswhythe2/31/3ruleissuchgreatcareeradvice.

Ofcourse,addingyourthoughtstotheconversationdoesnthurtaslongasyoukeep
themfocusedonwhattheotherpersonissaying.Ifyouabsolutelyneedtochangethe
subject,lethimorherknow.Saysomethinglike,Iunderstandandappreciatewhat
youresaying.Ifweredonewiththattopic,Ineedtospeakwithyouaboutsomething
else.OK?Inthatway,youredemonstratingyourrespectfortheotherperson.

Inhergreatbook,CEOMaterial,myfriendDebraBentonhasalottosayaboutlistening
andconversation.Hereisasmallsample

Thebestwaytoinfluenceothersiswithyourears.Ifyoulisteninawaythat
causespeopletofeelheard,youllhearthingsrightthefirsttime,maintainthe
selfesteemofothers,buildbetterrelationships,seenuances.

Shutoutotherpeopleanddistractions,andstopthinkingaboutwhatanyone
elseisthinkingoryourresponse.Takeoffyourheadphones,stoptexting,turn
offyourcellphone,putawayyourBlackberry.Dontdoodle;fidgetwithyour
hands,armsorfingers;squirm;bodyrock;orgetupandmovearound(likeyou
haveADD).Instead,leanforward,tiltyourheadalittle,givesomeeyecontact,
andmaybethrowinabrowfurrow,dontglancearoundoractbored,
disbelieving,ordisagreeing.Justlistentothepersonwhoistalking,remember
whatheorshesays,andsaysomeofitbacktothatpersonlater.

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 Dontquitlisteningifyoudontlikewhatyourehearing.Payattentionto
completeinformation.Trytomakesenseofthedata,evenifyoudontagree.
Noteverymisguidedopinionneedstobecorrectedbyyou.Pickyourbattles,as
theysay.Youllcreatecalmforbothofyouandtheotherpersonwillmore
likelylistentoyoualso.

Thatisnotonlygreatadviceonlistening.Itsgreatcareeradviceaswell.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
dynamiccommunicators.Conversationskillsareonekeytobecomingadynamic
communicator.FollowthecareeradviceinTweet109inSuccessTweets.Usethe1/3
2/3rule.Listentwothirdsofthetime;speakonethirdofthetime.Focusyour
completeattentionontheotherperson.Listeningisattheheartofbeingagood
conversationalist.Ifyouwanttobecomeknownasagoodconversationalist,dothree
things:1)Asklotsofquestions;2)Reallylistentowhattheotherpersonissaying;3)
Respondappropriately.Ifyoumakesuretheotherpersonknowsyouaretunedinand
payingattention,youllbeabletoconductaproductiveconversationwithjustabout
anyoneyoumeet,becomeknownasadynamiccommunicator,andbeonyourwayto
thelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.

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Succe ssTweet 110

Rememberandusepeoplesnames.Lookforcommongroundwiththepeopleyou
meet.Findoutaboutthem,theirhobbiesandpassions.

Ifyouwanttocreatethecareersuccessyouwantanddeserve,getgoodatnetworking.
Learnhowtoengageothersquicklyandleaveapositive,lastingimpression.Dressing
wellandpayingattentiontoyourappearanceisagreatstart.However,great
networkersknowthatlookinggoodisonlyonepieceofthepuzzle.

Thesecondpieceissimple:Rememberpeoplesnames.CheckoutwhatDaleCarnegie
hastosayaboutrememberingnames

"Ifyouremembermyname,youpaymeasubtlecompliment;youindicatethatI
havemadeanimpressiononyou.Remembermynameandyouaddtomy
feelingofimportance."

Thisisgreatcareeradvice.

Shakespearealsochimesinontheimportanceofrememberingotherpeoplesnames

"Whatadisgraceitistometonotrememberthyname.

Thatstruetoo.Wedisgraceourselveswhenwedontrememberotherpeoplesnames.
Itshowsthatwevaluethemverylittle.Iworkhardatrememberingpeoplesnames
andusingthem.

Ifyoureadmyblog,youprobablyknowthatIwenttoPennState.JoePaternowasthe
footballcoachwhenIarrivedtherein1968.Hesstillthecoachtoday.Joeisquitea
guy,andheisgoodwithnames.

Severalyearsago,IwasinNewYork.ItwasthedayaftertheESPYshadbeenheldat
RadioCityMusicHall.IwaswalkingalongSixthAvenuewhenIcamefacetofacewith
JoePaterno.HehadwonanESPYthenightbefore.

Ilookedhimintheeye,andsaidJoe.Hestopped.IintroducedmyselfBud
Bilanich,classof72.Hesaid,Howareyoudoing,Bud?Ourconversationlasted
about10minutes.Joeprobablyusedmynameatleast10timesinthatconversation.

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Hesaidthingslike,YouknowBud,andWhenwasthelasttimeyouwereinState
College,Bud?,andWhatareyoudoinginNewYork,Bud?

Iknowthathewasrepeatingmynamesothathecouldrememberit.Andatthesame
time,Ifeltgoodaboutthefactthatafamousfootballcoachnotonlytookthetimeto
chatwithmeonacoldwindystreetcornerinNewYork,hewentoutofhiswayto
rememberandusemyname.

Rememberingpeoplesnamesisanimportantnetworkingtool.Peoplewhoareacareer
successaregoodatnetworking.Theyknowhowtoengageothersquicklyandleavea
positive,lastingimpression.Dressingwellandpayingattentiontoyourappearanceisa
greatstart.However,greatnetworkersknowthatlookinggoodisonlyonepieceofthe
puzzle.Rememberingpeoplesnamesisthesecondpartofthepuzzle.

Herearemyfourbestideasonbecomingagreatnetworker

Stayfocusedonthepersonwithwhomyouareinaconversation.Manypeople
lettheireyeswanderespeciallyatnetworkingevents.Whenyoudothis,you
aresendingamessagetothepersonwithwhomyouarespeakingthatheorshe
islessimportantthansomeoneelseyoumightspotinthecrowd.Itsnotonly
polite,itsgoodbusinesssensetofocusonthepersoninfrontofyou.Exchange
businesscardsbeforeyoumoveontospeakwithsomeoneelse.

Listenandrespondappropriatelytopeopleyoumeet.Maintaineyecontact.
Askquestionsifyoudontunderstandwhattheysay.Paraphrasewhattheysay
tomakesureyouunderstand.Aboveall,respondappropriatelydonttakethe
conversationinanewdirectionuntilthetopicunderdiscussionhasbeen
exhausted.

Buildrelationshipswithpeopleyoumeetbybeinghelpful.Taketheinitiative.
Givethemleadsthatmayhelpthem.Lastweek,HelenWhelan,CEOof
SuccessTelevision.com,sentmeanemaillettingmeknowaboutapublic
relationsopportunity.IthankedHelenandfollowedupontheopportunity.I
alsosentittotwopeopleIknowwhomaybebettersuitedthanme.Why?
BecauseIwantedtostrengthenmyrelationshipswiththemandwhatbetter
waytobuildstrongrelationshipsthanbygivingsomethingofvaluetoother
people.

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 Learnfromasmanypeopleasyoucan.Everybodyhassomethingtooffer.With
somepeopleyouhavetodigalittlemoredeeplythanwithothers.Regardless,
treateveryconversationasalearningopportunity.Themoreyoulisten,the
moreyoulllearn.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplecreate
positivepersonalimpact.Networkingisagreatwaytocreateapowerfullasting
impression.Whenyouarenetworking,followthecareeradviceinTweet110inSuccess
Tweets.Rememberandusepeoplesnames.Lookforcommongroundwiththe
peopleyoumeet.Findoutaboutthem,theirhobbiesandpassions.Besides
rememberingpeoplesnames,youwillcreatepositivepersonalimpactinnetworking
situationsifyou:1)stayfocusedonthepersonwithwhomyouareengagedin
conversation;2)listenandrespondappropriately;3)buildrelationshipsbybeing
helpful;and4)learnfromasmanypeopleasyoucan.

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Becomeaclear,concisewriter.Makeyourwritingeasytoreadandunderstand.Use
simple,straightforwardlanguage.

Clear,concisewritingisoneofthreeimportantcommunicationskills.Herearefour
enemiesofclear,concisewriting.

Toomanywords.
Passivevoice.
Polysyllabic(big)words.
Jargonandcliches.

Inthispost,Illshowyouhowtoavoidtheseproblems.

TooManyWords

Iwriteinaprettystraightforward,clearmanner.However,whenIrereadmywriting,I
usuallyfindthatIneedtocut,ratherthanaddwords.Herearesomesentencesthat
IvepickedoutofsomeofthebusinesscorrespondenceIvereceivedlately.Allofthem
havetoomanywords.Below,youwillfindthewordysentence,followedbymy
suggestedrewrite.

WordySentence:Atthispointintime,weshould,orperhapsIshouldsaywemust,
proceedtoexamineourpolicyofsalesincentives.

Rewrite:Weneedtoexamineoursalesincentivepolicynow.

WordySentence:Iwasunawareofthefactthatyourdevicecouldbeusedforsecurity
purposes.

Rewrite:Ididntknowyourdevicecouldbeusedforsecurity.

WordySentence:ThereasonIfailedtoreplyisthatIwasnotapprisedofthefactuntil
yesterdaythatsomehowthereporthadbeenunavoidablydelayed.

Rewrite:IdidntreplybecauseIdidntknowuntilyesterdaythatthereportwas
delayed.

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YoucanseethatIwasabletocutdownthelengthofeachsentencewithoutchanging
themeaning.Ifyouwanttobecomeaclear,concisewriter,workhardateliminating
unnecessarywords.Carefullyreadwhatyouwrite,andruthlesslycutanywordsthat
dontaddtoyourmessage.Youshouldusetheexactnumberofwordsyouneedto
accuratelyandcompletelygetyourmessageacrossnomore,noless.

PassiveVoice

Theactivevoiceisalwaysbetterthanthepassivevoice.Itismoreforcefulanddirect.
Herearesomeexamplesthatillustratemypoint.

PassiveVoice:Plansfortheconferencewillbemadebymyassistant.

ActiveVoice:Myassistantwillplantheconference.

PassiveVoice:Anerrorhasbeendiscoveredbyourstaff.

ActiveVoice:Ourstaffdiscoveredanerror.

PassiveVoice:Themistakeinbillingwasrectifiedbythesupplierposthaste.

ActiveVoice:Thesuppliercorrectedthebillingmistakequickly.

PolysyllabicWords

Sometimes,itstemptingtoshowoffyourvocabulary.Unfortunately,whenyoure
showingoff,youreprobablynotdoingagoodjobofcommunicating.Whenmyniece
graduatedfromcollege,Igaveheracopyofmyjustpublishedbook,StraightTalkfor
Success.ItoldherthatIwastryingforanavuncularhiptone,andaskedherforher
feedbackonceshereadthebook.

Shelookedatmeandsaid,Whatdoesavuncularmean?Isaid,Unclelike.Shesaid,
Whydidntyoujustsayso?Shehadagreatpoint.Shesnodummy,graduated
magnacumlaudeandhasgoneontosomegreatcareersuccessearlyon.However,she
didntknowwhatthewordavuncularmeant.Whoseproblemwasthat?Mine.I
shouldhaveusedthemosteasytounderstandword;inthiscasethatwastwowords,
unclelike.

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IdontwatchalotofTV,butIusedtoenjoyLawandOrderespeciallywhenJack
McCoywastheAssistantDA.HubriswasoneofJacksfavoritewordsinhisjury
summations.Irememberwatchingsomeshowswhereheusedthiswordand
wonderedwhyhedidntsayarrogance.Theymeanthesame,andmorepeopleare
likelytoknowthewordarrogancethanknowthewordhubris.

Severalyearsago,IreadStephenKingsbook,OnWriting.Heisabigproponentof
small,easytounderstandwords.Toillustratehispointaboutsmallwords,heshareda
passagefromJohnSteinbecksTheGrapesofWrathoneofmyalltimefavorite
novels.

Someoftheownermenwerekindbecausetheyhatedwhattheyhadtodo,
andsomeofthemwereangrybecausetheyhatedtobecruel,andsomeofthem
werecoldbecausetheyhadlongagofoundthatonecouldnotbeanowner
unlessonewerecold.

Thatsa50wordsentencewith39onesyllablewordsand11twosyllablewords.If
youvereadthebook,youknowhowwellthiswritingexplainsthelivesofitinerant
workersduringthegreatdepression.Thecareeradvicehereissimple.Readoverwhat
youwrite,strikethepolysyllabic(Imeanbig)words,andyoullcommunicatebetter.

JargonandCliches

Finally,eliminatejargonandclichsfromyourwriting.Dontassumethateveryonewho
willreadwhatyouwriteisasuponjargonasyouare.

YoumightnotbelievemewhenIsaythatIdontwatchalotofTV,asIhaveanother
greatexamplefromaTVshow.IfyouspendanytimeontheInternetespecially
Twitteryouknowwhattheexpressionwtf?means.Cathyreallylikestheshow,
ModernFamily.ItwonacoupleofEmmysthispastyear.Ithinkitisprettyfunnytoo.

Inoneoftheepisodes,thefatherwastryingtoshowhisteenagedaughtersthathewas
prettycoolandwithit.Hesaidsomethinglike,IknowabouttheseInternet
abbreviations.omgOhMyGod,lollaughoutloud,wtfwhytheface?
Remember,someofyourreadersmaybeascluelessaboutthingsyoutakeforgranted
asthefatheronModernFamily.

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Clichesareanotherproblemforclearwriting.Ifitgoeswithoutsaying,dontsayitin
writing.Whenyousay,TobeperfectlyhonestIwonderifyoureusuallynothonest
inwhatyousay.Readyourwritingcarefullyforclichs.Cutthem.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Followthecareeradvice
inTweet111inSuccessTweets.Becomeaclear,concisewriter.Makeyourwriting
easytoreadandunderstand.Usesimple,straightforwardlanguage.Readingwhatyou
writeisthekeytofollowingthiscareeradvice.Whenyoureadyourwriting,lookfor
wordsthatyoucaneliminateandforwaystousetheactive,ratherthanpassivevoice.
Ifyouputthesetwocommonsensepiecesofcareeradvicetowork,yourwritingwill
improvegreatly.

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Succe ssTweet 112

Explainjargonasyougoalong;orprovideaglossaryattheendofthedocument.
Betteryet,avoidjargonifatallpossible.

Acoupleofyearsago,theMoneysectionofUSATodayhadaninterestingarticlecalled,
DoForeignExecutivesBalkatSportsJargon?

AuthorDelJonesbeganbysaying,Englishmaybetheinternationallanguageof
business,butforeignexecutiveswhoarefluentinitfindthemselvesatalossunlessthey
masterconversationalhorsehideandthevocabularyofotherUSsports.
Conversationalhorsehide,bytheway,isjargonfortheabilitytousebaseballtermsin
conversation.

ShewroteabouthowbaseballjargonhasinfiltratedbusinessconversationintheUSA.
AswearegettingclosetothebaseballplayoffsandWorldSeries,IthoughtIduseher
articletoillustratehowmuchweusesportsjargonintheUSAandhowthiscanhavea
negativeimpactonourabilitytocommunicatebothinwritingandconversation.

PeoplewhoarenotfamiliarwithUSsportsandthatincludesalotofpeoplebornin
theUSsufferfromsportsjargonoverload.DelJonesarticlewasveryentertaining,and
ithadanimportantmessageforanyonewhowantstobecomeagoodcommunicator
usejargon,especiallysportsjargon,aslittleaspossibleineverydayconversationand
businesswriting.

Iagree.Ilearnedthislessonthehardway.IwasconductingaworkshopinEuropethat
IhadconductedverysuccessfullyintheUS.Theworkshopbeganwithabaseball
analogyonehastogofromfirsttosecondtothirdbasebeforescoringarun.While
mostofthepeopleintheEuropeanaudienceunderstoodtheconceptandthe
reference,manywereupsetthatanAmericanwoulduseauniquelyAmericanexample
whenconductingaworkshopinEurope.

PaulaShannon,aSeniorVPwithLionbridge,aMassachusettsbasedcompanywith
4,000employeesin25countries,knowswhatImtalkingabout.Shesays,TheHail
Mary(Americanfootballjargon)ismyfavoriteexampleofbadjargon.Youcanestablish
yourAmericancentricity,andriskareligiousoffenseatthesametime.

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Thecommonsensecareeradvicehereissimple.Inordertobecomeagreat
communicator,limityouruseofjargon.Converse,writeandpresentineasilyand
universallyunderstoodterms.Bepreciseinyouruseoflanguage.

Havingsaidthat,Iamgoingtopostthebaseball/businessdictionaryMs.Jonesincluded
inasidebartoherarticlejustbecauseIthinkitsfun

BaseballBusinessDictionary

Manufacturearun

Baseball:Scoringwithoutpower,orevenasolidhit.Forexample,awalk,followedbya
stolenbase,anerrorandasqueezeplay.Alsocalledsmallball.
Business:Succeedingviahardwork;growingsaleswithoutablockbusterproduct.

Lateinnings

Baseball:Theseventh,eighthandninthinningsofabaseballgame.
Business:Latestagesofaproject;anoldproductseeingsaleserodingduetoa
competitorsnewproduct.

Stepuptotheplate

Baseball:Takeyourturnatbat,ofteninanimportantsituation.
Business:Confrontaproblem,makeacrucialdecision,gotheextramilewhenitssafer
ormoreconvenientnotto.

Pickle

Baseball:Arundown,catchingarunnerstrandedbetweenbases.
Business:Gettingintotroublewithlittlechanceofescape.

Canofcorn

Baseball:Aflyballthatiseasytocatch.
Business:Adecisionoractionthatisanobrainer;aproductthatsellsitself.

Ducksonthepond

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Baseball:Runnersonbase.
Business:Asituationwithagoodchanceofsuccess.

Curve

Baseball:Apitchthatbreaksbeforeitgetstotheplate.
Business:Anythingunexpected.

Allbasescovered

Baseball:Fieldersdoingtheirjobandpositionedonrelevantbasessotheteamcanget
anout.
Business:Beingpreparedforeverycontingency.

Mopup

Baseball:Whenamediocrereliefpitcherisusedbecausetheoutcomeofthegameis
certain.
Business:Whenemployeeshavetoremainonprojectsafterstaremployeeshave
movedontobiggerandbetterthings.

Homer,dinger,tater

Baseball:Homerunsofvarioustypes.
Business:Majoraccomplishment.

Ofer

Baseball:Whenabattergoeshitless.
Business:Slumpwithpoorresults.

Ifyoureabaseballfan,youmaydisagreewithsomeofthedefinitionsinthisdictionary.
AndthatisoneofthereasonsIveincludeditheretoincludeagraphicdepictionof
theproblemwithjargon.

Irememberreadingacolumninanairlineinflightmagazineonjargon.Eventhoughits
beenseveralyears,Istillrememberthiscolumn.Theauthorbeganbysayingthathe
hasafolderofmemoswithobtuselanguagethathehascollectedovertheyears.He

313
sharedonememothatafriendsenttohim.IwassostruckbythelanguagethatIsaved
itonmyharddrive.Theguywhowrotethememosaidhewasgoingtomapthe
handoffsandallprocessesinacombinedswimlanesuberprocess.Imprettyhiptoa
lotofbusinessjargonasIseeiteveryday.However,Imustadmitthatswimlanes
uberprocessisanewoneonme.

AsImwritingthis,ImremindedofanIBMcommercialIsawawhileback.Aguywalks
intoalarge,dimlylightedconferenceroomwhereheseesnotablesandchairsand
abouttwentypeoplelyingonthefloor.Hesays,Whatareyouguysdoing?Someone
answers,Wereideating.Hesays,Whatsthat?Someoneresponds,Comingup
withnewwaysofdoingthings.Hesays,Whydontyoujustcallitthat?

Interestinglyenough,thewordideatingsoundsalotlikeamadeupwordtome.I
expectedspellchecktoflagit.Itdidnt.SoIguessIambehindthetimesonsomeofmy
businessjargon.Evenso,IthinksayingthatyoureComingupwithnewwaysofdoing
things,ismuchmoreclearthansayingthatyoureIdeating.ButwhatdoIknow?

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Jargoncauses
communicationproblems.SuccessfulpeoplefollowthecareeradviceinSuccessTweet
112.Explainjargonasyougoalong;orprovideaglossaryattheendofthedocument.
Betteryet,avoidjargonifatallpossible.Dontassumethateverybodywhoreadswhat
youwritewillbeasfamiliarwithjargonasyou.Makeyourwritingclear,conciseand
readablethatmeansaslittlejargonaspossible.

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Succe ssTweet 113

Writeclearlyandsimply:shortwordsandsentences,firstperson,activevoice.Be
preciseinyourchoiceofwords.

Goodwritingwillsetyouapartandputyouontheroadtopersonalandprofessional
success.Unsuccessfulpeoplearepoorwriters.Theyareunclear.Theyramble.Their
emails,lettersandreportsareaseriesoflongsentencesfilledwithbigwordsthatdont
reallysayanything.Youcantcatchpeoplesattentionbywritingthisway.Youneedto
writeinaclear,crisp,concisemanner.

Itrytowritelikeajournalist.Iuseshortsentenceswithasimplesubjectverbobject
structure.Mywritingmayreadalittlestaccatolike,butitcommunicates.Peopletell
methattheycanunderstandmypointsandthereasoningbehindthem.Andthats
whatIwantwhenIwrite.

Yourobjectiveinwritingatworkistocommunicatenottoimpressotherswithyour
vocabulary.InarecentpostImentionedthetimeIwasspeakingwithmynieceabout
mybookStraightTalkforSuccessathercollegegraduationparty;IsaidthatIdtried
foranavuncularhipwritingstyle.Shesaid,Whatdoesthatmean?Ireplied,
Avuncularmeansunclelike.Iwantedtosoundlikeahipuncletopeoplereadingthe
book.Shecamebackwithagreatquestion:Whydidntyoujustsayso?

Shewasright.Everybodyknowswhatunclelikemeans.Alotofpeople,including
magnacumlaudegraduateslikemyniece,dontknowthewordavuncular.Iwasjust
showingoffmyvocabularybyusingthatword.Asaresult,Ididntcommunicate
effectively.

Writewithyourreaderinmind.Sometimesitsagoodideatoreadaloudwhatyouve
writtentogetafeelforhowitwillsoundtoyourreader.Writeinshort,simple
sentences.Usethesimplestwordsyoucantogetacrossyourpoint,whilestillbeing
accurate.Writefast.Getyourthoughtsonpaperorthecomputerscreenasquicklyas
youcan.Theneditandrewriteuntilyouvesaidexactlywhatyouwanttosay.Oneof
myfirstbossesalwaystoldmethatrewritingisthesecrettogoodwriting.

Spellingcounts,too.Correctspellingdoestwothingsforyou.First,itshowsthatyou
haveagoodcommandofthelanguage.Second,andmoreimportant,correctspelling

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demonstratesthatyourespectbothyourselfandthereader.Misspelledwordsstand
outlikesorethumbstoreaders.

Dontjustspellcheckyourdocuments.Proofthem.Spellcheckoftenwontpickup
improperusageinwordslikeyourandyoure,hearandhere,andtheirand
there.

Thesameholdstrueforpunctuation.Makesurethatyouknowhowtoproperlyuse
periods,questionmarks,commas,colons,semicolons,exclamationmarks,quotation
marksandapostrophes.Ifyourenotsureaboutpunctuationrules,spendalittletime
ontheInternetlearningproperusage.

IlikethePoynterInstituteforgoodinformationaboutwriting.Whiletheinformationon
theirsitewww.poynter.orgisaimedatjournalists,thereisalotofveryhelpful
informationaboutwritingandeditingthereespeciallyinthearticleinTipSheets
whichcanbefoundbyclickingontheReporting,WritingandEditingbutton.

ThisbringsmetotheBafflegabThesaurus.IfirstsawtheBafflegabThesaurusbackin
the1970s.Itsmadeacomebacklately,onlythistimeitscalledBuzzwordsfor
BusinessWriting.Whateveryouchoosetocallit,itsveryclever,anditpointsoutjust
howmuchjargonhastakenoverbusinesscommunicationandhowfewpeoplewrite
clearlyandsimply.

Hereshowitworks.Whenyourestuckinyourwriting,theBusinessWritingBuzzword
Generatorhelpsyoucreatephrasesthatwillmakeyousoundasifyouknowwhat
youretalkingabout,evenifno,especiallywhenyoudont.

Itssimple.Thinkofanythreedigitnumber,thenselectthecorrespondingbuzzword
fromeachcolumnandyouredone.

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ThecreatoroftheBusinessBuzzwordGeneratorprovidesthisexample

Thethreedigitnumber257producessystematizedlogisticalprojection.You
candropthisphraseintoalmostanyreport.Ithasaringofdecisive,
knowledgeableauthority.Ofcourse,noonewillhavetheremotestideaofwhat
you'retalkingabout.ButthatsOK.Theimportantthingis,theyarenotabout
toadmitit.

RealizethatImjokinghere.Whilesystematizedlogisticalprojectionmaysoundgood,
itreallymeansnothing.Thebestwritersusesmallwords,simplesentences,andthe
activevoice.Neverusethisbuzzwordgeneratorinyourbusinesscommunication.But
youcanhavefunreadingthewritingofsomepeoplewhoappeartohaveusedit.

Thecommonsensepointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplearedynamiccommunicators.
Ifyouwanttobecomeadynamiccommunicator,youneedtodevelopyourwriting
skills.FollowthecareeradviceinSuccessTweet113.Writeclearlyandsimply:short
wordsandsentences,firstperson,activevoice.Bepreciseinyourchoiceofwords.
Writingisnotdifficultifyouwriteinamannerthatcommunicateswell.Ingeneral,this
means,beingclear,conciseandeasilyreadable.Useshortsentencesandthesmallest
wordthatcommunicatesexactlywhatyouwanttosay.Writewithyourreaderinmind.
Readyourwritingaloudbeforesendingit.Thiswillhelpyougetafeelforwhatyour
readerwillexperience.

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Succe ssTweet 114

Usetheactivevoiceinyourwriting.SayIsuggestwedothis,ratherthanItis
suggestedthat

Whenyouusetheactivevoice,yourwritingandyoucomeacrossasstrong,forcefuland
selfconfident.Ifyouneedagrammarrefresher,intheactivevoicethesubjectofthe
sentencedoessomething.Gobacktothetweet.Inthefirstexample,Iisthesubject
ofthesentence.Tocontinuewiththeexample,Idoessomething,heorshesuggests
doingthis

ThinkofthetitleoftheMarvinGayesong,IhearditthroughtheGrapevine.Itisin
theactivevoice.I(thesubject)heard(theverb)it(theobject).

Thepassivevoiceisjusttheopposite.Inthepassivevoice,thetargetoftheactionisthe
subject.Insomecases,thismakesnosense.Noonewouldbelikelytowrite,It
throughthegrapevineIheard.Thepassivevoicetendstousemorewords,andcan
confusethereader.And,youcancomeacrossasaweaselwhenyouusethepassive
voice.

ImoldenoughtoremembertheIranContraaffair.Whenspeakingaboutit,President
Reagansaid,Mistakesweremade.Theproblemwiththissentenceisthatitbegsthe
questionofwhomadethemistakes.Thissentencewouldbestrongerifitread,Imade
amistake.Or,Thisadministrationmadeamistake.Ofcourse,inthiscasetheactive
voicemaynothavebeenthebesttousepolitically.

AsImwritingthis,IthinkImaybeovercomplicatingthings.TheEnglishDepartmentat
PurdueUniversitydoesagoodjobofprovidingexamplesoftheactiveandpassive
voice

ActiveVoice:Thedogbittheboy.

PassiveVoice:Theboywasbittenbythedog.

ActiveVoice:Scientistsconductedexperimentstotestthehypothesis.

PassiveVoice:Thehypothesiswastestedinexperimentsconductedbyscientists.

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ActiveVoice:Overonethirdoftheapplicantsfailedtheentranceexam.

PassiveVoice:Theentranceexamwasfailedbyoveronethirdoftheapplicants.

ActiveVoice:Thecommitteeisconsideringthebill.

PassiveVoice:Thebillisbeingconsideredbythecommittee.

WhenyouwriteintheactivevoiceespeciallywhenyouusethefirstpersonIyou
comeacrossasstrong,forcefulandselfconfident.Yourwritingisclear.It
communicatesbetter.

Inconclusion,itissuggestedbythiswriterthattheactivevoiceshouldbeusedinyour
writing.Justkidding.IllgiveacopyoftheeBookversionofmybook,IWantYOUTo
Succeedtoeverybodywhorewritesthesentenceimmediatelyprecedingthisoneinthe
activevoice.Pleaseshareyourrewritesasacomment.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Ifyouwanttowritewell
andclearly,followthecareeradviceinTweet114inSuccessTweets.Usetheactive
voiceinyourwriting.SayIsuggestwedothis,ratherthanItissuggestedthatThe
activevoiceisalmostalwaysmoreclear.Itmakesyourwritingeasiertounderstand.
And,whenyouwriteintheactivevoiceyoucomeacrossasselfconfidentandin
commandofyoursubject.

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Succe ssTweet 115

Becomeanexcellentpresenter.Careershavebeenmadeonthestrengthofoneor
twogoodpresentations.

DarrenHardyisthePublisherofSUCCESSMagazine.IloveSUCCESS.Itisfullofvery
usefulandusableinformationeverymonth.Ifyouarentalreadyasubscriber,goto
www.success.comassoonasyoufinishreadingthispostanddoso.Asubscriptionto
SUCCESSwillputyouontheroadtothelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.

Darrenalsosendsveryinformativeemailstosubscribers.Awhilebackheposteda
greatpiececoveringhisbesttipsfordeliveringdynamitepresentations.Hewas
graciousenoughtoallowmetorepostithere

DarrenHardys10TipsforMoreCompellingPresentations:

1.Prepare.Nothingbeatsgreatpreparation.Iusuallywriteoutapresentationwordfor
word,thenIreduceittoaskeletonoutline,thenbulletpoints,thenjustkeywordson
paperincaseIneedtoquicklyglancedownattriggerwordstoguidemealong,butIwill
rarelyusethenotes.Justgoingthroughtheprocessismyprocessforlearningthe
presentation.

2.Knowyouraudience.Findoutthedemographicmixoftheaudience.Findoutwho
thekeyplayersaresoyoucanusetheirnamesduringthepresentation.Understand
coreaspectsabouttheircompany,cause,products,ideals,etc.Understandthetrends,
competitionandkeyissuesthattheaudiencefaces.Iftheyknowyouknowwhothey
areinthefirstfewminutes,theywillbeyourallyfortherestofthepresentation.

3.Sellit.Notnecessarilyyouorwhatyouarepromoting,sellyourpresentation.Open
upwithanattentiongetter.Imaginetheformatofaninfomercial.Explainthegrand
benefitstheyaregoingtogetbylisteningraptlytotheinformationyouareaboutto
share.

4.Packageit.Tellthemwhatyouaregoingtotellthem(throughbenefits,outcomes,
thedifferencethisinformationwillmakeintheirlives),tellthem(deliverthegoods),
thentellthemwhatyoutoldthem(postsellthebenefitssotheyknowyouhavejust
giventhemgreatvalue).

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5.Beentertaining.Yes,youneedtobeinformativeandenlightening,butyouare
talkingtohumanstheyareboredeasily.Ifpeopleareentertained,theyareengaged
andaremoreapttoactuallylistentowhatyouaresaying.

6.Bevisual.Ithinkinpictures,soItalkinpictures.Iusevisualaidsandtalkinword
picturesandmetaphors.Peopleseldomrecallwords,buttheydorememberpictures.

7.Tellstories.Iamnotanaturalstoryteller.Ihavetoforcemyselftobreakoffandtell
astory,butthebestspeakers,lecturersandinfluencerstheworldhasknownwereall
greatstorytellers.Collectthemandgetgoodattellingthem.BUT,makesuretheyare
relevanttothepointyouaremaking.Idislikegratuitousstorytellingforstoriessakein
akeynote.Icanreadabookorgotoamovieforthat.Makesurethestoryisonpoint.

8.Overdress.Mygrandmothertaughtmethis.Peoplelookatyoubeforetheylistento
you.Howyoushowupcommunicates80percentofwhethersomeoneshould(orwill)
listentoyouornot.Duringthefirst5minutespeoplewillassessyouupanddownand
drawallsortsofconclusions.Makesuretheconclusionstheydraware:professional,
polished,credibleandsensible(atleast).Whateveryouthinkthedresscodewillbe,
dressatleastoneortwostepsaboveit.Thereisnothingworsethanbeing
underdresseditsdisrespectful.Youaregoingtobeonstage;peopleexpectthatyou
respectthatpositionanddressUPforit.

9.BeYourself.DonttrytobeZigZiglarorTonyRobbins.Me?Idontlikebeatingon
mychestandyelling,havingthecrowdjumpupanddownontheirchairs,runaround
thestageordroptomykneefordramaticeffects.Youwillneverseemedothat;its
notme.Mybestadviceforyouistobeyou.Beonstageasyouareoffstage.Bereal,
authenticandcommunicatethroughyourtruefeelingsandconvictionitisfromthat
placeyoucanbepersuasive,rousingandinfluencing.

10.SeetheO.Ialwaysspendafewminutesbeforeeachkeynotevisualizingthe
presentationandtheaudienceresponse:theraptattention,theaweinspiredlookson
theirfaces,theirlaughingandhavingagoodtime,thentherousingstandingovationat
theend.Ithelpsmegetintothezoneandraisemyemotionalenergybeforegetting
started.

KnowingyouraudienceisDarrenssecondpresentationtip.Itisanimportantstepin
creatingamemorablepresentationthatwillgetyounoticedbytherightpeople.Isawa
Dilbertcartoonacoupleofyearsagothatreinforcestheimportanceofaudience

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analysisforcreatinganddeliveringgreatpresentations.Payattention,thelessontobe
learnedhereissomegreatcareeradvice.

Inthefirstpanel,thebosssays,Dilbertisournextpresenter.Standinginfrontofa
screenwithaPowerPointslideprojectedonit,Dilbertsays,Thanksforcomingtomy
presentation.Iputinalotoftimecreatingit.Ihopeyoulllikeitandfinditinformative.
First,Imgoingtorunalittleslideshowanddoahumorousraptoaccompanyit.Then
youllallgetachancetoparticipate.Illgiveyoufunnyhatsandyoullputtogether
someskits.Andthenwellhavefireworksintheatriumofourbuilding.

Thelastpanelshowsthemembersoftheaudience.Oneofthemsays,Canyoucutit
short,weallowedonlythreeminutesforyourtalk.

Iknowthissoundsabsurd,butoneofmycareersuccesscoachclientsexperiencedan
eerilysimilarsituation.Hisbosssbossaskedhimtoprepareapresentationonwhathis
departmentdoes.ThistalkwasgoingtobefortheExecutiveCommitteeofhiscompany
the12mostseniorpeopleintheentirecompanyandthiswasabigcompany,over
$20billioninsales,sothesewereveryimportantpeople.

Hesawthisasahugeopportunityforhimselfandhisdepartment.Thepresentation
wasamonthinthefuture.Hespentmostofthatmonthworkingonthetalk,
developingabout70nicelookingslideswithanimationandabriefvideo.Therewere
nofunnyhatsandfireworks,butthepresentationhadalotofverycoolgraphics.He
practicedagainandagain,makingsurethathehaditdownpat.Thetalklastedabout
90minutes.

Thedaybeforehewassupposedtodothetalk,hisbosssbossaskedhimtocometohis
officetodoarunthroughofthetalktomakesurethatthingswouldgosmoothlythe
nextday.He,hisbossandthebigbosswentintoaconferenceroom.Hehookeduphis
computertotheprojectorandbeganpreviewinghiscarefullythoughtouttalk.After
aboutsevenminutes,thebigbosssaid,Howmanymoreslidesdoyouhave?

Myclientsaid,Imjustgettingstarted,Ihaveabout70slidestotal.

Thebigbosssaid,Thatswaytoomany.Theyonlywanta10minuteoverviewofwhat
yourdepartmentdoes.Youneedtoreviseyourtalkandcutdownthenumberof
slides.

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Myclientspenttherestofthedayandmostoftheeveningrevisinghistalk,cuttingout
thegraphicsandanimation.

WhenheandInextgottogetherforacareersuccesscoachdiscussion,hewasreally
frustrated.Heexplainedthesituationtomeandcomplainedaboutthebigboss.He
nevertoldmethatalltheywantedwasa10minuteoverviewofwhatwedo.Iwasteda
lotoftimeputtingtogetherthispresentation.

Isaid,Didyoueveraskhimhowlongthetalkshouldbe?

Hesaid,No.IjustassumedthattheExecutiveCommitteewouldwantaverythorough
understandingofwhatourdepartmentdoes.

Andthatisthecruxoftheproblem.Myclientmissedareallyimportantstepin
developingapowerfulpresentation.Hedidnoaudienceanalysis.Heassumedhis
audiencewouldbeasinterestedinhistopicasheis.Inthiscase,hefailedtorealize
thattheseniorpeopleinthecompanywantedaquicklookathisdepartmentnotan
indepthreviewofeverythingtheydoandhowtheydoit.Ifhehadtakenthetimeto
askthebigbossafewsimplequestions,hewouldnthavewastedhistimedeveloping
anindepthpresentation.Hedidntreallywanttohearit,butthiswasthebestcareer
adviceIcouldgivehim.

Analyzingyouraudienceisanimportantfirststepindevelopinganypresentation.Here
areafewsimplequestionsyoushouldaskandanswerbeforeyoubegindevelopingany
presentation

Whoismyaudienceforthispresentation?
Whyaretheythere?
Whatdotheywantorneedtogetfrommytalk?
Howmuchdotheyknowaboutmytopic?
AretheyfamiliarwithanyjargonImightuse?
WhatistheirgeneralattitudetowardsmeandtheinformationIllbe
communicating?

Thesequestionswillhelpyoudevelopanddeliverthekindofpresentationthatwill
meetyouraudiencesneeds,helpyoushineasapresenter,andgetyouontheroadto
thelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.

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Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
competentcommunicators.Presentationskillsalongwithconversationandwriting
skillsareamongthecommunicationskillsyouhavetomasterifyouwanttobecome
alifeandcareersuccess.FollowthecareeradviceinTweet115inSuccessTweets.
Becomeanexcellentpresenter.Careershavebeenmadeonthestrengthofoneor
twogoodpresentations.Audienceanalysisisthefirststepindevelopingacompelling
presentation.Youhavetounderstandyouraudienceswantsandneedsbeforeyoucan
developagreattalk.Takeafewminutestothinkaboutyouraudiencebeforeyoubegin
developinganypresentation.Ifyoudo,youllbemorelikelytodeliveragreattalkthat
willgetyounoticedinapositiveway.

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Succe ssTweet 116

Presentationsareopportunitiestoshine.Dontletstagefrightrobyouofyour
opportunity.Getcontrolofyournerves.

Theotherday,Iwasataworkshopandoneofthespeakerswasclearlynervous.He
beganhistalkbytellingtheoldstoryaboutthesurveythataskedpeopletonametheir
greatestfear.Publicspeakingcameinfirst,byalargemargin.Deathwasfourth.So,if
youbelievetheresultsofthissurvey,mostpeoplewouldratherdiethanstandupand
giveatalk.Hewasoneofthem.Heurgedustobekindtohimbecausehewasnervous
doingthistalk.

Hewassufferingfromwhatisknownbyanumberofnames:presentationanxiety,stage
fright,thejitters.Whateveryoucallit,presentationanxietycanbethedeathknellfor
anotherwisegreattalk.Weallgetnervousbeforeatalk,butbeingnervousdoesnt
havetomeanyoulldoabadtalk.Presentationanxietyisaresponsetofearofdoinga
poortalk.Itshowsupinanumberofways:blushing,shaking,stuttering.Atitsworst,it
willleadyoutofeelasifyourenotmakingsense,orworseyet,tolosethethreadof
yourtalk.

Imakespeechesforaliving,andIgetnervousbeforeeveryoneofthem.Infact,ifIm
notalittlenervous,IstarttoworrythatIwillbeflatanddeliveranunenthusiastictalk.
Overtheyears,IvedevelopedafewtricksthatIusetocalmmynervesbeforeabig
presentationandmakethemworkfor,notagainstme.Checkthemout

Practiceyourtalkoutloud.Thiswillhelpyougetcomfortablewithyourmaterialand
yourdelivery.

Thinkgoodthoughts.Imagineyourselfsucceedingbeyondyourwildestdreams.
Imaginethatyouwillgetastandingovationforyourtalk.Thisiswhatvisualizationisall
about.

Getthereearly.Inthisway,youllbeabletosetupyourcomputerandrunthrough
yourslidesonelasttime.

Greetpeopleastheyarrive;exchangeafewwordswiththem.Thiswillhelpyoumakea
goodfirstimpressionwithmembersoftheaudience.Itwillalsohelpyougetcontrolof

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yournerves,becauseyoullfeelmorecomfortablespeakingtoagroupofpeopleyou
knowratherthanagroupofstrangers.

Takeadeepbreathbeforeyoubegin.Thiswillcalmyou,helpcenteryou,andgiveyou
enoughairtogetthroughyouropening.

Move.Whenyoubeginyourpresentation,movearound.Usebodymovementtohelp
releasesomeofyournervousenergy.Dontgettrappedbehindthepodium.Itcan
inhibityoufromreleasingyourenergy.

Justchatwiththeaudience.Thinkofyourpresentationasaconversation.Theremight
be10,or25,or100peopleinyouraudience.Butintermsofrealcommunication,there
areonlytwopeopleintheroom:youandasinglelistener.

Tellstoriestoillustrateyourmainpoints.Peoplelikelisteningtostoriesandtheytend
torememberpointsillustratedbystories.

Askquestionsduringyourtalk.Thiswillhelpyoubuildadialogueandaparticipatory
feeling.Itrytomakeatleastonequarterandasmuchasonehalfofmytalka
discussionwiththeaudience.Inthisway,itslessofaspeechandmoreofanexpanded
conversationwitheverypersonintheroom.

Dontworryifyoumakeamistake.Tobeginwith,mostpeoplewontrealizethatyou
madeamistake.Second,realizetheaudienceiswithyou.Theyveallbeenthereand
knowthatpresentingcanbenervewracking.Mostpeopleintheaudiencewillbe
pullingforyoutodoagoodjob.

LastweekImetaguynamedRonBalagot.HesharedhiseBook,PublicSpeakingFear
Conquered:YourFearlessPresenterWithinUnleashed,withme.Thisistheperfectbook
foryouifyousufferfromfearofpublicspeaking.Itscareeradviceisterrific!Youcan
getafreecopyathttp://www.publicspeakingtipsforyou.com.Youoweittoyourselfto
downloadthiseBook.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
dynamiccommunicators.TheyunderstandthecareeradviceinTweet116inSuccess
Tweets.Presentationsareopportunitiestoshine.Dontletstagefrightrobyouof
youropportunity.Getcontrolofyournerves.Presentationsareopportunitiestoshine
todemonstratethatyouareadynamiccommunicator.Stagefrightisthebiggest
enemyofpresentationsuccess.Dontletstagefrightrobyouofyouropportunityto

326
shine.Onegoodpresentationcanmakeacareer.Presentationsarethebestwaysto
getnoticedandhaveyournameatthetopofthelistwhenpromotionalopportunities
comeup.Thereareseveralwaystodealwithpresentationanxiety:beprepared,know
yourstuffcold;thinkofyourtalkasaconversationwiththeaudience;tellstoriesto
illustrateyourpoints.However,thereisonepieceofadvicethattrumpsallwhenit
comestodeliveringdynamicpresentations:practice,practice,practice!

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Succe ssTweet 117

Presentationsteps:1)Determinethemessage;2)Analyzetheaudience;3)Organize
theinformation;4)Designvisuals;5)Practice.

Ifyouwanttobecomeadynamiccommunicatorandcareersuccess,youneedto
becomeanexcellentpresenter.Presentationsareanimportantcommunicationtool.
Manycareershavebeenmadeonthestrengthofoneortwogoodpresentations.

Alotofpeoplesufferfrompresentationanxiety.Publicspeakingcanbefrightening,
althoughitdoesnthavetobe.Presentingislikeanyotherprocess,thereisaseriesof
logicalstepstofollow.ThefivestepstoeffectivepresentationsintheTweethave
servedmewellforover35years.

Inthispost,IllbesharingthematerialIcoverinathreedayworkshoponpresentations
skills.Breakingthepresentationprocessdownintothefiveeasilymanageablesteps
listedintheTweetisthebestwayIknowtogetoverpresentationanxiety.Letslookat
theminsomedetail.

1. Determineyourmessage.
2. Analyzeyouraudience.
3. Organizeyourinformationforimpact.
4. Designsupportingvisuals.
5. Practice,practice,practice.

Askyourselfthesequestionstohelpyoudetermineyourmessage:

Whatdoyouwantorneedtocommunicate?
Whatinformationdoestheaudienceneed?
Whydotheyneedit?
Attheendofthepresentation,whatshouldtheaudience:Understand?
Remember?Do?

Determinethebestwaytocommunicateyourmessagebyanalyzingyouraudience.Ask
yourselfthesequestions:

Whoistheaudienceforthispresentation?

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 Whyaretheyattending?
Whatistheirgeneralattitudetowardyouandthetopic?
Whatistheirknowledgelevelonthistopic?

Usethegoldenruleofjournalism:Tellthemwhatyouregoingtotellthem,Tellthem,
Tellthemwhatyoutoldthemtoorganizeyourinformation.

Beginattheend.Prepareyourpresentationendingfirst.Thisishelpful,
becauseitkeepsyoufocusedonwhereyouregoing.
Prepareyourpresentationbeginning.Agoodbeginninghastwothings:ahook,
andanoutlineofyourtalk.
Fillintheblankswithyourcontent.

Designvisualstosupportandenhancewhatyouaresaying.Goodvisualssupportthe
pointsyouaremaking,createaudienceinterest,improveaudienceunderstanding,save
youtimeapictureisworthathousandwords,andtheyarememoryaids.

Practice,Practice,Practice.Thereisanoldsaying,practicemakesupforalackof
talent.Priortogettinginfrontofanaudience,sayyourpresentationoutloudseveral
times.Listentoyourself.Considervideotapingyourself.Ifyoudonthavethe
equipment,practiceinfrontofamirror,oryourspouse,oryourdogorcatjust
practice.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
competent.Dynamiccommunicationisanimportantcareersuccesscompetency.
Dynamiccommunicatorspresentwithimpact.Manypeoplearefrightenedbytheidea
ofstandinginfrontofagroupofpeopleanddoingatalk.Unfortunately,presentations
canmakeorbreakyoursuccess.Youcanconqueryourfearofpublicspeakingby
followingthecareeradviceinTweet117inSuccessTweets.Presentationsteps:1)
Determinethemessage;2)Analyzetheaudience;3)Organizetheinformation;4)Design
visuals;5)Practice.Ifyoufollowthecareeradviceinthesefivestepsespecially
number5,practiceyoullbecomeaconfident,successfulpresenterandacareer
success.

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Succe ssTweet 118

Presentationsareeasytocreate.Writeyourclosingfirst,youropeningnext.Thenfill
inthecontent.Practice.Practice.Practice.

Writingyourpresentationclosingfirstissomeofthebestpresentationandcareer
adviceIcangiveyou.

Peopleremembertwothingsaboutyourtalk:howyoubeginandhowyoufinish.They
rememberhowyoufinishbecausethatsthelastthingtheyhear.Youwanttofinish
strong,reinforcingandhighlightingthemainpointsyouwantpeopletoremember.
Thatsonereasonforwritingyourclosingfirst.

Anotherreasonforwritingyourclosingfirstisbecauseitwillhelpyoumapouttherest
ofyourcontent.Youllprobablyhavemoreinformationthanyouneedforany
presentationyoumake.Ifyouwriteyourclosingfirst,youcanuseittohelpyoudecide
whatinformationtoleaveinandwhattoleaveoutofyourpresentation.

Forexample,whenIdomytalkHowtoCreatetheLifeandCareerSuccessYouWant
andDeserveIalwaysendbysayingsomethinglike

Andthereyouhaveit,mybestadviceonhowtocreatethelifeandcareer
successyouwantanddeserve.

ItcomesdowntoFourCs:clarity,commitment,confidenceandcompetence.

Ifyouwanttocreateasuccessfullifeandcareer,youhaveto

a) Clarifythepurposeanddirectionforyourlifeandcareer.

b) Committotakingpersonalresponsibilityforyourlifeandcareersuccess.

c) Buildunshakeableselfconfidence.

d) Getcompetentinfourareas:creatingpositivepersonalimpact,
outstandingperformance,dynamiccommunication,andrelationship
building.

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 Hopefully,youknowmoreabouthowtocreatethelifeandcareersuccessyou
wantanddeservenowthananhourago.But,liketheUSSteelpencilsmydad
wouldbringhomefromworkusedtosay,Knowingisnotenough.Youvegot
tousetheinformationyoulearnedheretodayifyouaregoingtocreatethelife
andcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.

WhenIwaswritingthistalk,Iwrotethisclosingfirst.IbeganbylistingthekeypointsI
wantedtomakeinthiscasethe4CsofSuccess.AnytimeIwaswonderingifIshould
includeaspecificpieceofinformationinthetalk,Iaskedmyself,Doesthisinformation
reinforcethepointyouwantpeopletorememberaboutthistalk?Iftheanswerwas
yes,Ileftitin.Ifno,Itookitout.

OK,gotitaboutwritingyourclosingfirst?Good.Nowletstalkaboutwritingyour
openingsecond.

Youwanttoaccomplishtwothingsinyourpresentationopening:1)Capturingthe
audiencesattention,and2)Givingthemsomeideaofwhatyouwillbecoveringinyour
talk.

WhenIdomytalk,HowtoCreatetheLifeandCareerSuccessYouWantandDeserveI
alwaysbeginbysayingsomethinglike

Helloandthankyouforcoming.Today,Iwanttodispeloneofthebiggestmyths
aboutlifeandcareersuccess.Andthatmythis,goodperformanceisenoughto
createthelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.Goodperformance
notonlyisnotenough,itismerelythepriceofadmissionintodayshighly
competitiveworld.

Ifyouwanttocreateasuccessfullifeandcareer,thinkCno,think4Cs

Clarity,Commitment,ConfidenceandCompetence.

Ifyouwanttocreateasuccessfullifeandcareer,youhaveto:

a) Clarifythepurposeanddirectionforyourlifeandcareer.

b) Committotakingpersonalresponsibilityforyourlifeandcareersuccess.

c) Buildunshakeableselfconfidence.

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 d) Getcompetentinfourareas:creatingpositivepersonalimpact,
outstandingperformance,dynamiccommunicationandrelationship
building.

Overthenexthour,ImgoingtotellyoumoreabouteachofthesefourCsand
showyouhowtoputthemtoworktocreatethelifeandcareersuccessyou
wantanddeserve

SeewhatImean?IcapturedtheaudiencesattentionbytellingthemthatIwasgoing
toexplodeamythaboutlifeandcareersuccess.ThenIsharedthemyth.ThenI
outlinedwhatIwasgoingtocoverinthenexthour.

Thisformatisthegoldenruleofjournalism:Tellthemwhatyouregoingtotellthem.
Tellthem.Tellthemwhatyouvetoldthem.

Bywritingyourclosingfirstandyouropeningsecond,youvedonetwoofthese:youve
toldyouraudiencewhatyouregoingtotellthem,andyouverecappedwhatyouve
toldthem.Fillinginthecontentbecomesprettysimpleonceyouvecompletedthese
twosteps.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Ifyouwanttocreate
dynamicpresentationsthatcommunicateandgetyouknownasahighperformer,
followthecareeradviceinTweet118inSuccessTweets.Presentationsareeasyto
create.Writeyourclosingfirst,youropeningnext.Thenfillinthecontent.Practice.
Practice.Practice.Writingyourclosingfirstgivesyouthedirectionyouneedtocreate
adynamicpresentation.Writingyouropeningnexthelpsyoucapturetheaudiences
attentionandgivesyouanoutlineforcreatingtherestofyourcontent.Ilearnedthis
bitofcareeradviceearlyinmycareerwaybackin1973andhaveusediteversince.
Ifyouuseit,youllbeonyourwaytocreatingthelifeandcareersuccessyouwantand
deserve.

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Succe ssTweet 119

Disciplineyourselftoprepareforpresentations.Practiceoutlouduntilyouaretotally
insyncwithwhatyouregoingtosay.

Manypeoplefearmakingpresentations.Thatswhytheyrenotverygoodatthem.I
subscribetoJamesMalinchaksezine.Itsalwaysfullofinterestinganecdotes.Acouple
ofdaysago,Jamestoldaveryinterestingstoryaboutaconversationhehadwith
MichaelJordan.HeposedthefollowingscenariotoMichael

ItsGame7oftheNBAFinalsandyourteamisplayingontheroadatyour
opponentsplace.There's00:01secondleftontheclockandyourteamislosing
by1point.You'reatthefreethrowlinetoshoottwoshots.Thisisliterallywin
orlosetime,andtheballisinyourhands.Ifyoumakebothfreethrows,your
teamwinstheirfirsteverchampionship.Ifyoumissboth,yourteamlosesthe
championship.Howwouldyoufeel?

MichaelJordansresponse

"That'seasy!Thatsituationwouldn'tbothermebecauseIwouldhavealready
disciplinedmyselftomakesureIhadalreadypreparedforsuccessinthat,orany
othersituation!"

Jameswentontosay

"NottheanswerIwasexpecting,butit'sveryprofoundwhenyouthinkabout
thosetwowordsthatmostwouldrathersimplyskimover:1)Disciplined;and2)
Prepared.ThemoreIthoughtaboutthosetwowords,themoreIbeganto
realizejusthowimportanttheyareforbecomingasuccessfulspeaker,author,
trainerorcoach!Mostpeoplearenotdisciplinedtopreparethemselvesfor
success."

Jamesisontosomethinghere.Disciplinedpreparationisthekeytobecominga
dynamiccommunicator.Iteachmycoachingclientsafivepointmodelofpresentation
success.Thefifthpointispractice,practice,practice.Isuggestpracticingyourtalk
outloudusingyourvisuals.Isuggestdoingthisasmanytimesasittakestobecome
100%comfortablewithwhatyouaregoingtosayandhowyouaregoingtosayit.

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WhenIsaythisIamoftenmetwithfrownsandalotofexcusesaboutnothavingthe
timetodothekindofpreparationIsuggest.

Andthatswhymanypeoplesuckatpresenting.InMichaelJordanandJames
Malinchakswords,theydonthavethepersonaldisciplinetoprepareforasuccessful
presentation.Andwithoutdisciplinedpreparationitsbasicallyimpossibletodoagood
presentation.

CathyandIwereinFloridalastyeartocelebrateourniece,Morgan's,wedding.Cathy
washostingabridesmaidluncheon.Thenightbeforetheluncheon,shepracticedthe
welcomingtalkshewasgoingtogiveattheluncheonatleastfivetimes.Andyouknow
what?Itgotbettereverytimeshepracticedit.Shepracticedonemoretimethe
morningoftheluncheon,andshehaditdowncold.Shedisciplinedherselftoprepare
forhertalk.Shewasreadytodoit.Andshegaveakillertalk.Goodforher.

CathyoftenaccompaniesmewhenItravel.IfIamdoingatalkthenextday,sheknows
myritualbeforegoingtobed.Iwillpracticemytalkoutloudatleasttwice,andas
manytimesasittakesformetofeelthatIhaveitperfected.Ittakesalittlebitoftime
topracticelikethis,buttheaudienceapplauseand,moreimportant,myfeelingof
satisfactionafterdeliveringagreattalkareworthit.

Thecommonsensepointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplearedynamiccommunicators.
Dynamiccommunicatorsaregoodpresenters.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinSuccess
Tweet119.Disciplineyourselftoprepareforpresentations.Practiceoutlouduntilyou
aretotallyinsyncwithwhatyouregoingtosay.AsMichaelJordanandJames
Malinchakpointout,disciplinedpreparationisakeytosuccessinanyendeavorfrom
basketballtobusiness.Disciplinedpreparationisespeciallyimportanttobecominga
greatpresenter.Ifyouwanttobecomeagreatpresenter,disciplineyourselftoprepare
foryourtalksbypracticingoutloudandwithyourvisualsuntilyouaretotallyinsync
withwhatyouaregoingtosayandhowyouaregoingtosayit.

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Succe ssTweet 120

Practicepresentations.Youcancontrolyournervesbypracticingoutloud.Themore
youpractice,thelessafraidyoullbe.

BynowitshouldbeprettyclearthatIthinkthatpracticingyourpresentationsoutloud
isthemostimportantpresentationsuccesstip.Ivementionedpracticeinthelastfive
successtweets.

HeresarecapofwhyIthinkitisreallyimportanttopracticeyourpresentationsout
loud.

Practicingyourpresentationsoutloud

Calmsyournerves.Whenyoupracticeseveraltimes,thepresentationisfamiliar
andcomfortabletoyou.Thismakesyoulessnervous.

Helpsyouedityourtalkforimpact.Thereisnothinglikesayingitoutloudto
showyoutheroughspotsinyourpresentation.Onceyouidentifytheserough
spots,youcancorrectthembeforeyoureinfrontofanaudience.

Helpsyougetbetter.Themoretimesyourepeatatalkoutloud,thebetterit
gets.Itsalmostimpossibletobeoverprepared.Practicedoesindeedmake
perfect.

Thesethreereasonsshouldconvinceyouthatitsimportanttopracticeyourtalkout
loud.Yet,Iamalwaysamazedthatsomanypeopledonttakethetimetopractice.
Theyhavesomegreatexcuses

Ittakestoomuchtime.

IknowwhatImgoingtosay,Idontneedtopractice.

Ifeelfoolishtalkingtomyself.

Iwontgetanybetter.

Ivedonethistalkamilliontimes,Idontneedtopractice.

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AndIsay,WRONG!!!

Practiceisthemainingredientofanysuccessfulpresentation,notfunnyslidesand
animationpractice.

ThomasEdisonisfamousforsaying,Manypeoplemissopportunitybecauseitcomes
dressedinoverallsandlookslikework.Iamsemifamousforsaying,Mostpeople
knowtherightthingtodoinmostsituations,theircommonsensetellsthem.They
dontusetheircommonsenseforabunchofbogusreasons.

Sodontcomeupwithbogusreasonsfornotpracticingyourpresentationsoutloud.If
youwanttobecomeadynamiccommunicator,andcreatethelifeandcareersuccess
youwantanddeserve,youhavetopracticeyourtalksoutloud.Thatssomeofthe
mostimportantcareeradviceIcangiveyou.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Ifyouwanttobeableto
deliverdynamicpresentations,youhavetofollowthecareeradviceinTweet120in
SuccessTweets.Practicepresentations.Youcancontrolyournervesbypracticingout
loud.Themoreyoupractice,thelessafraidyoullbe.Besidescontrollingyournerves,
youllgetbettereachtimeyoupractice.Trustmeonthisone,timespentpracticinga
presentationistimewellspent.

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Succe ssTweet 121

Getgenuinelyinterestedinothers.Helpbringoutthebestineveryoneyouknow.
Otherswillgravitatetoyou.

Thispostisthefirstof20onrelationshipbuildingthefinallifeandcareersuccess
competency.Relationshipsareanimportantkeytocreatingthelifeandcareersuccess
youwantanddeserve.Noneofuscandoitalone.Weallneedotherpeopleifweare
goingtosucceedinourcareers.

Itsdifficultifnotimpossibletobuildstrong,mutuallybeneficialrelationshipswith
thepeopleinyourlifeifyoudontdisplayagenuineinterestinothers.Showothersthat
youcareaboutthemaspeople.Dosmallthingslikerememberingthenameoftheir
spouseandchildren,askingabouttheirfamily,learningabouttheirinterestsoutsideof
work.Youdonthavetobecomebestfriendswitheverybodyatwork,butithelps
tremendouslyifyoutakethetimetoknowthemaswholepeople,notjustwork
colleagues.

Foryears,Ivemadeitahabittorememberotherpeoplesbirthdaysandsendtheman
ecard.Itseasytodo.Thereareanynumberofonlinesitesthatwillallowyoutostore
peoplesbirthdays.Theywillevensendyouareminderaweekbefore.Itsasmallthing
andonewhichishardlyeverreciprocatedbutpeoplearealwayspleasedwhenI
remembertheirbirthdays.Rememberingpeoplesbirthdaysisjustonesmallwaythat
youcanfollowthecareeradviceinSuccessTweet121getgenuinelyinterestedin
others.

Acoupleofyearsago,IhostedanInternetradioshowonwhichIinterviewedsomevery
interestingpeople.JudithGlaserwasoneofthem.Judithisanexecutiveand
organizationalcoach.Shehasworkedwithmanyfortune500companiesnamesyou
allknow:Pfizer,JPMorganChase,Clairol,IBM,Citibank,Pepsico,Verizon,among
others.Judithisthebestsellingauthorof,CreatingWe,oneofFortuneMagazines
fortybestbusinessbooksin2005.

SheandIdiscussedCreatingWeandthethinkingbehinditinsomedetail.Heresan
excerptfromthatconversation.IparticularlylikedwhatJudithhadtosayaboutour

337
vitalinstincts.Judithsaysthatweallhaveavitalinstincttobondwithothers.
Demonstratingagenuineinterestinothersisagreatwaytobeginthebondingprocess.

Judith:Ifyoufocusontheteamlevelandtheindividualunitsarentlearninghowto
bond,thenwevemissedwhatcreatestheongoingenergyandmomentumfrommaking
somethinghappen.

Bud:Whenyousayindividualunits,youretalkingaboutthe

Judith:People

Bud:Thepeoplewhomakeupanorganization,whetheritsa20personorganization,
ora20,000personorganization?

Judith:Yes.

Bud:Youtalkaboutvitalinstinctsinyourbook,andcanyoutalkalittlebitaboutthat?

Judith:Ihadamostamazingahhathatcametomesomewhereinthebeginningor
middleofthefirstyearwhenIwastryingtoarticulatewhatthiswasallabout.The
backdroptothisisthatIwroteabusinessdictionaryin1986soIhadtocomeupwith
3,500newbusinesstermsthatwerentinthemainstreamdictionary.ThatshowI
actuallygotmynameBenchmarkforBenchmarkCommunications.

Intheprocess,wordsbecameafascinationforme,andIsaid,whatiftherewasno
wordyetthatexistedtoexplainwhatitwasthatwasdrivinghumanbeingstobe
togetherandtobesuccessfultogether?Inthatpursuit,Icameupwiththetermvital
instincts.Idecidedthathumanbeingshavevitalinstinctsthatarealiveallthetime
whenwefeeltrustandwhenweareinagoodrelationshipwithsomeone.Whenthis
trustisbrokenandwebecomeafearfulanddistrustingperson,thereisaloss,orthe
cuttingofthosevitalinstincts.Thisinterruptionofcommunicationwithsomeoneis
actuallywhatcausespeopletofightandwanttosurviveorfocusonlyontheirownself
interest.

Bud:SoifIgetthisright,weallhaveaneedtotrustotherpeopleandhaveabonding
need,aneedtobeinrelationshipswithpeople?

Judith:Yes.

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Bud:Andwhenwestruggleinrelationshipswhetheritsinourmarriages,our
friendshipsoratwork,itusuallymeansthatsomeoneseveredthattrustthatwasthe
glueinthebond,oratleastcreatedtheimpressionthatthetrustwassevered?

Judith:Exactly,whenpeoplefeelthattrusthasbeenseveredtheywillgotosomeone
elsetobuildanewbondortosecurethebondthattheyhaveforsafetyandbeingina
relationshipandbeinginahealthycommunication.

SoletssayyouandIhaveafightandallofasuddenourbondisbroken.Ithenfeela
needtoresecurethatbondwithsomeoneelse,soIturntohimorherandIsay,you
knowthatBudguy,canyoubelievewhathejustdidtome?AndthenallofasuddenI
haveanewfriendwhosnowhelpingme.Ifyouwatchanimals,itslickingwounds.

Bud:Sovitalinstincts,attheircore,reallyareabond.Weallseektohaverelationships
withotherhumanbeings.Sometimeswedeveloprelationshipsthatdontworksowell
andcanbeharmfultoanorganizationbecausethebondingresultsfromyouandyour
otherpersontalkingabouthowbadIam,touseyourexample.

Judith:Exactly.Andthatswhatwesaywhenanorganizationisdysfunctionalthats
whatweretalkingabout.Andbytheway,vitalinstinctsaresopowerfulandso
importantthatifwedonthavethem,ifwetakechildrenandleavethemintheforest
forexample,withouthumancontact,theydonotgrowbeyond,theyrecalledferal,they
dontgrowbeyondbeinganimals.

Andsothisinstinctforbondingisalsowhatleadstotheabilityforhumanbeingsto
growanddeveloppartsoftheirbrainthatenablesthemtosocializeandenablethemto
innovateandenablethemtocontribute.

Bud:Letstalkaboutconventionalwisdom.Justhowdowegetalongwhatdowe
needtodotoworkwelltogetherandbuildstrongrelationships?

Judith:Ivecometobelievethatcreatingweisnotjustgettingalongandworking
witheachother.Ireallyfocusongettingdowntothebasics.Iftwohumanbeingscan
sitdownwitheachother,andtheycantalkaboutwhatastrongrelationshipwouldlook
likeandthentheycantalkaboutwhattheyneedtogiveeachothertocreatethat;then
theycantalkaboutwhattheyregoingtodoiftheyfalloutofit,sothattheycan
continuallygetbackintoit.Thenwehavesomethingthattalksabouthowpeoplecan
stayinthatweandinthatbondingrelationship.

339
Bud:Sorelationshipbuildingbondingifyouwillisdealingwithpeopleinastraight
forward,openmanner.Ithinkthatalotofwhatyouresaying,andIthinkalotof
peoplewhoarelisteningtoyouaresaying,Whatshessayingmakessenseandit
reallydoes.

Judith:Thankyou.

JudithGlasersideasaboutvitalinstinctsareimportantforanyonewhoaspirestobean
interpersonallycompetentpersonandalifeandcareersuccess.Interpersonally
competentpeoplehavetheabilitytobuildstrongbondswiththepeopleintheirlives
andtheabilitytorepairandstrengthenthosebondswhentheyarethreatened.Pickup
acopyofCreatingWe.Ithinkyoullfindittobeinterestingandstimulatingreading.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Youcantbecomealife
andcareersuccessallonyourown.Youneedtobuildstrong,mutuallybeneficial
relationshipswithotherpeople.FollowthecareeradviceinTweet121inSuccess
Tweets.Getgenuinelyinterestedinothers.Helpbringoutthebestineveryoneyou
know.Otherswillgravitatetoyou.Itiseasiertocreatestrongrelationshipswhenyou
bondwithothers.JudithGlasercallsbondingavitalinstinctofallhumanbeings.And,
assheastutelypointsout,bondingisbasedontrust.Buildrelationshipsbybeinga
personworthyofotherstrust.Becominggenuinelyinterestedinothersisthefirststep
inthetrustbuildingprocessandsomegreatcareeradvice.

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Succe ssTweet 122

Keepconfidencesandavoidgossip.Dontembarrassothersbyrepeatingwhatthey
sharewithyouevenifitisntinconfidence.

AcoupleofyearsagoIreceivedapressreleasefromRandstadUSAthatIsaved.The
pressreleasefocusedonastudytheydidthatidentifiedtheTop7PetPeevesinthe
Workplace.Heretheyare,withthepercentageofpeoplewhoidentifiedeachpet
peeve.

1. Gossip60%
2. Otherspoortimemanagementskills54%
3. Messinessincommunalspaces45%
4. Potentscents42%
5. Loudnoises41%
6. Overuseofelectronicpersonalcommunicationdevicesinmeetings28%
7. Misuseofemail22%

Whyshouldyoucare?Becauseallofthesepetpeevesarethingstoavoidifyouare
goingtohavepositivepersonalimpactandcreatethelifeandcareersuccessyouwant
anddeserve.

Inthispost,Iwanttofocusongossip.ThesamedaythatIreceivedthepressrelease,I
gotanemailfromGaryRyanBlair,TheGoalsGuy.Hehasaspecialreportoutcalled
Gossip,RumorsandInnuendo:UnderstandingGossipandHowtoControlIt!Youcan
purchaseitbygoingtowww.goalsguy.com.ClickonStore,thenSpecialReports.

Garylikensgossiptoworkplaceviolence.

Tomanypeople,theideaof"workplaceviolence"connotesthephysicalharm
thatonemaydotoanother.However,thereisanotherformofworkplace
violencethatisjustasdangerousandinsidious,andthisisworkplacegossip,
rumors,andinnuendo.Whileyourfirstinclinationmaybetoconsidertheway
wetalkasnotbeingviolent,thefactremains,ourwordsinthecontextof
gossip,rumors,andinnuendooftenleadtohurt,painandsuffering.

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Hesright.Iknowtheresanoldsaying,Sticksandstonesmaybreakmybones,but
wordscanneverhurtme.Thisissomethingthatmotherstelltheirchildrentohelp
themdealwiththeinconsideratethingskidssaytooneanother.Unfortunately,itsnot
true.

Gossipcanhaveaverydebilitatingeffectonanotherperson.Interpersonallycompetent
peoplejustdontdoit.Peoplewithpositivepersonalimpactjustdontdoit.Gossip
servesnogoodpurpose,otherthantohurtthepersonwhoisthesubject.

Thebook,AsAGentlemanWouldSay,offerssomegreatadviceaboutgossip.

WhenagentlemanisaskedtosubstantiatearumorHedoesnotsay:Letme
putitthisway:Imnotgoingtosayyes,Imnotgoingtosayno.IthinkIknow
thetruth,butIbetternotsayit.Dontyouhaveanybetterwaytowasteyour
time?

Buthedoessay:Idontknowthetruthaboutthat,soIdprefernottosay
anything.

Breakingconfidencesisanotherwaytokillworkplacerelationships.Ialwayssuggestto
mycareersuccesscoachclientstoavoidrevealinganythingsaidtothemevenifthe
personwhosaysitdoesntaskyoutoholdhisorherremarksinconfidence.

WhenIwasayoungguy,Ihadtwomentors:myboss,theVPofHR,andaclient,theVP
ofMarketing.Ilikedandrespectedeachofthem.AndIwantedthemtolikeand
respectoneanother.Oneday,mybossmentionedthatshefoundtheVPofMarketing
tobesomewhataloofanddifficulttogettoknow.

Thisbotheredme,soinaconversationwiththeVPofMarketing,Imentionedthatmy
bossfoundhimalittlealoofandhardtogettoknow.Iwantedthetwoofthemtolike
eachother.And,Ithoughtthattogethertheycouldreallydosomegreatthingsforthe
company.Boy,wasthatamistake!

TheVPofMarketing(myclient)calledtheVPofHR(myboss)andcomplainedthatshe
wastalkingbehindhisback,andthatifshehadaproblemwithhim,hewishedthatshe
wouldtakeitupwithhim.Assoonasshegotoffthephone,mybosscalledmeintomy
officeandproceededtoletmeknowinnouncertaintermsthatshedidntappreciate
meviolatingherconfidence.

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Iwasshocked.Tobeginwith,Iwassurprisedthatshethoughtofhercommentabout
theVPofMarketingasconfidential.Second,Iwassurprisedthathewasupsetenough
tocallhertocomplain.

Iapologizedtomyboss.ShethensaidsomethingthatIrememberexactlytothisday.
ThatsOKyoumadeamistake.Everybodyisentitledtomakeamistakenowandthen.
Buttrustmeonthis,youllnevermakethesamemistakethreetimes.Iexpectyouto
learnfromitthefirsttime.Ifyoumakethesamemistaketwotimes,therewillbeno
thirdtimebecauseyoullbegone.

ThatshowIlearnedhowtokeepconfidences,evenifIthoughttheywerenttoldtome
inconfidence.ThebestcareeradviceIcangiveyouonthisistoneverdoorsay
anythingthatwillembarrassyourboss,yourcolleagues,orotherpeopleinyour
company.Staysilent.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Followtheadvicein
Tweet122inSuccessTweets.Keepconfidencesandavoidgossip.Dontembarrass
othersbyrepeatingwhattheysharewithyouevenifitisntinconfidence.Gossip
notonlyhurtsotherpeople,itmakesyousmaller.Peoplewithpositivepersonalimpact
dontgossip.Theoldsaying,Extraordinarypeopletalkaboutideas,averagepeople
talkaboutevents,andlittlepeopletalkaboutotherpeople,istrue.Bean
extraordinaryperson.Dontgossiporsharethingstoldtoyouinconfidence.Treat
mostthingsthatarentcommonknowledgeinyourcompanyasbeingtoldtoyouin
confidence.

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Useeverysocialinteractiontobuildandstrengthenrelationships.Strong
relationshipsareyourtickettosuccess.

Ihavefoundthatlittlethingsmakeforstrongrelationships.Inotherwords,sweatthe
smallstuffbecauseitsthesmallstuffthatwillhelpyoubuildandmaintainstrong,
lasting,mutuallybeneficialrelationshipswiththepeoplewhocanhelpyoucreatethe
lifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.

Acoupleofyearsago,IhadanopportunitytopreviewagreatDVDonrelationship
buildingcalled,LittleThingsMeanaLot.TheDVDisbasedontheworkofBrigid
Moynahan,founderofTheNextlevelInc.Sheisawellknownandhighlyrecognized
speakerandtrainer.

Ms.Moynahansaysthatwhenitcomestorelationships,itsimportanttosweatthe
smallstuff.Shesaysthatwesendmicromessagesinallofourinteractionswithother
people.Micromessagesarethesignalswesendtooneanotherthroughourbehavior.
Whilemicromessagesareoftensmall,theirimpactcanbeenormous.

Micromessagescanhelporhinderyourrelationshipbuildingefforts.Micro
affirmationshelpyoubuildandmaintainstrongrelationships.Microinequitieshinder
yourabilitytobuildandmaintainstrongrelationships.

Theseareimportantconceptsthatdeserveacloserlook.

Notsurprisingly,microaffirmationsaremicromessagesthatwesendtootherpeople
thatcausethemtofeelvalued,included,orencouraged.

Microinequitiesaremicromessagesthatwesendtootherpeoplethatcausethemto
feeldevalued,slighted,discouragedorexcluded.

Heressomegreatcareeradvice.Consciouslyavoidmicroinequitiesandconsciously
sendmicroaffirmations.

Ms.Moynahanputsadiversityspinonherwork.WhileIagreethatmovingfroman
organizationalculturebasedonmicroinequitiestoonebasedonmicroaffirmationswill

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buildamoreinclusiveandtherebyproductiveandprofitableorganization,Ialso
believetherearelifeandcareersuccesslessonstobelearnedhere.

Askyourself,WhendoIfeelexcluded,disrespectedanddevalued?Inmostofthese
cases,youhavebeentherecipientofamicroinequity.Thewayyoufeelwhenyou
experienceamicroinequityisthewayothersarelikelytofeelwhenyouengagein
microinequitybehavior.Thatmeansyoushouldrefrainfromusingthesebehaviorsin
yourinteractionswithothers.

Thendojusttheopposite.Askyourself,WhendoIfeelincluded,respectedand
valued?Inmostofthesecases,youwillhavebeentherecipientofamicroaffirmation.
Workhardtoincorporatebehaviorsthataremicroaffirmationsintoyourdaily
interactionswithothers.

Inshort,whenyoufocusonsendingmicroaffirmationsandavoidingmicroinequities,
youwillbebetterabletobuildsolid,lastingrelationshipswiththepeopleinyourlife.
Andstrongrelationshipsareanimportantkeytoyourpersonalandprofessional
success.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesspointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
competentinfourareas:1)creatingpositivepersonalimpact;2)consistenthigh
performance;3)dynamiccommunication;and4)interpersonalcompetence.
Interpersonallycompetentpeoplebuildstrongrelationshipswiththeimportantpeople
intheirlives.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinTweet123inSuccessTweets.Useevery
socialinteractiontobuildandstrengthenrelationships.Strongrelationshipsareyour
tickettosuccess.Buildandstrengthenrelationshipsbysweatingthesmallstuff.Focus
sendingpositivemicromessagesthesmallthingsthatshowanotherpersonthatyou
valuehimorher.Avoidmicroinequitiesbehaviorsthatdemeanpeopleinsmall
ways.Instead,focusonmicroaffirmationsbehaviorsthatencourageothersand
buildtheirselfesteem.

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Everyonehassomethingtooffer.Neverdismissanyoneoutofhand.Takethe
initiative.Activelybuildrelationships.

Successfulpeoplehaveadeeprespectforthedignityofeachindividual.Itdoesnt
matterifthepersoninfrontofyouisthePresidentoftheUnitedStates,yourboss,aco
worker,ataxidriver,asecurityguardorthehousekeeperatyourhotel.

Cathy,mywife,isthebestexampleofsomeonewhovalueseverypersonshemeets.
Sheisfriendswitheveryonethepharmacytechswherewegetourprescriptions,the
couplewhoownthedrycleanerswherewedobusiness,thesupermarketcheckout
peopleandbaggers,theserversattherestaurantswefrequent,andonandonandon.

Cathyisgenuinelyinterestedinthesepeople.Sheknowstheirnames,theirspouses
namesandtheirkidsnames.Sheinquiresabouttheirlives.Sheknowsabouttheir
vacations,whatgradestheirkidsareinschoolandlotsofotherthingsaboutthemall
becauseshevaluesthemasindividualsandtakesthetimetogettoknowthem.Sheis
oneoftheleastjudgmentalpeopleIknow.

Ifyouwanttocreatethelifeandcareersuccessyoudeserve,takealessonfromCathy.
Payattentiontothepeoplearoundyou.Youwilllearnalotandyourlifewillbericher
forit.Dontjudgepeoplebywhattheydo.Gettoknowothersasindividuals.Youllbe
surprisedatwhatyoulearn.

IhavehadsomeveryinterestingconversationswithtaxidriversinNewYorkCity.These
days,mostofthemareimmigrants.Theylovethiscountryandarewellinformedabout
it.WhenIgetintoataxi,mostoftenthedriverislisteningtoNPRoranallnewsstation.
Ihavehadsomegreatconversationsaboutlocalandnationalpolitics,thestateofthe
USeconomy,andsportswithtaxidrivers.

InDenver,Ioccasionallyuseacarservicetogotoandfromtheairport.Thisserviceisa
cooperative.ThemembersofthecoopareallimmigrantsfromEthiopia.Theywereall
politicalrefugees.Theylovethiscountryandarewillingtodiscussitindepth.Ilovemy
ridestoandfromtheairportwiththem.

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And,Ilearnedsomethingveryinteresting.EthiopiawasaCatholiccountryuntilthe
schismin1066.TheEthiopianChurchsidedwiththeEasternChurchinConstantinople
andbrokewithRome.IwasraisedCatholic,butmyfathersparentswereOrthodox
Christian,orRussianOrthodoxaswecalledthem.Inthattraditiontheycelebrate
ChristmasonJanuary7becausetheyuseadifferentcalendar.

IrememberhavingtwoChristmaseswhenIwasyoung.Ialwaysgotasmallpresenton
January7.ImaginemysurprisewhenaguyfromAfricatoldmethathecouldntdrive
metotheairportonJanuary7becausehechosetostayathomeandcelebrate
Christmaswithhisfamily.ThisledtoaveryinterestingdiscussiononhowEthiopia
participatedintheschism.WhentheEthiopiancommunityinDenverwasbuildinga
newchurch,CathyandIweresomeofthedonors.

SeewhatImeanabouttreatingeveryoneasifheorshehassomethingtooffer?Inever
wouldhavelearnedsomevaluableinformationabouthowsimilarthelifeexperiencesof
ablackguyfromEthiopiaweretomyowngrowinguphadInottakenthetimeto
engagethispersoninconversation.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplefollow
thecareeradviceinTweet124inSuccessTweets.Everyonehassomethingtooffer.
Neverdismissanyoneoutofhand.Taketheinitiative.Activelybuildrelationships.
Followingthiscareeradvicewillhelpyoucreatethelifeandcareersuccessyouwant
anddeserve.Moreimportant,itwillleadtoaricherandfullerlife.Whenyouengage
people,whenyouexpecttofindthemtobeinteresting,youwillopenyourselfuptoa
worldofideasthatwillnotonlyhelpyourcareersuccess,butwillalsohelpyousucceed
asaperson.

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Succe ssTweet 125

Gettoknowyourself.Useyourselfknowledgetobetterunderstandothersandbuild
mutuallybeneficialrelationshipswiththem.

Interpersonallycompetentpeopleknowthemselves,havetheabilitytobuildand
maintainstrongmutuallybeneficialrelationshipswithothers,andareabletoresolve
conflictinapositivemanner.

Today,Idliketofocusonthefirstpointknowingyourself.Therearequiteafew
instrumentsonthemarketthathelpyougettoknowyourself.Iammostfamiliarwith
theMyersBriggsTypeIndicator(MBTI)andtheDISC.Bothofthesearebasedon
Jungianpsychologyandprovideyouwithaneasytounderstandframeworkforgetting
toknowyourself.

Ibelievethatwecanallbenefitfromgainingabetterunderstandingofourselveswhat
turnsuson,whatturnsusoff,whatmotivatesus,etc.However,Ithinkthatthereal
benefitislessknowingyourselfthaninusingtheframeworktoknowotherpeople.If
youunderstandotherpeoplewhatturnsthemon,whatturnsthemoff,what
motivatesthemyouareinabetterpositiontobuildpositive,constructive
relationshipswiththem.

Illusemyselfasanexample.TheMBTImeasurespreferencesalongfourcontinuums:

Extraversion(E)Introversion(I)
Sensing(S)Intuiting(N)
Thinking(T)Feeling(F)
Judging(J)Perceiving(P)

IamaslightintrovertthatmeansthatIgetmyenergyfromwithin,asopposedto
extravertswhogettheirenergyfromotherpeople.Ipreferalotofsolitaryactivities:
reading,writing,watchingmovies,ridingmybike.Igetrechargedbybeingbymyself.
Ontheotherhand,Cathy,mywife,isahighextravert.Shegetsherenergyfrombeing
aroundotherpeople.

Shefrequentlydrivesmeto,andpicksmeupfromtheairport.WhenIcomehomefrom
atrip,Imostoftenwanttorelaxandlookoutthecarwindowaswedrivehome.Iman

348
introvert.Irechargemybatteriesbygettingquietandgoingwithinmyself.Cathyisan
extravert.Shewantstotalk.Sheenjoyshavingmehomesowecaninteract.

WhenIgetintothecarafteratrip,Igetmyselfintoaconversationalmode.Iaskabout
Cathy,andwhatshedidwhileIwasgone.Ilistentowhatshehastosay.Itellher
aboutmytripwhomIsawandwhatIdid.IdothisbecauseIloveher,andwanttodo
myparttomakeourrelationshipasstrongasitcanbe.Iusemyknowledgeofmyself,
andmyknowledgeofhertoactinamannerthatwillstrengthenourrelationship.

Heresanotherexample.OneofmyclientsisastrongSandstrongJ.IamastrongN
andstrongP.Helikesthingstobeveryorganizedandpredictable.Iammore
comfortablegoingwiththeflow.

Oneday,Iarrivedathisofficeinthelateafternoon.Iwasgoingtofacilitateateam
buildingsessionforhisleadershipteamthenextday.HeaskedmewhatIplannedon
doinginourmeeting.Iexplainedittohimverbally.Hesaid,Doyouhaveanagenda?
IrespondedthatIdjusttoldhimwhatIwasplanningondoing.Hesaid,Iheardyou,
butIdliketoseetheagenda.ItoldhimIhadnowrittenagenda.Hewasunhappy
withthis.Sowespent15minutesputtingwhatIhadtoldhimIplannedtodointhe
meetingonpaper.

Youmightthinkthisisprettysilly.Butthereisanimportantlessonhere.Hehashigh
needsforstructure,andanagendaisawaytostructureameeting.Iamvery
comfortablehavingaroughideaofwhatImhopingtodoandaccomplishinameeting
andthengoingwiththeenergyintheroomasthemeetingunfolds.Thisworksforme
butnotmyclient.

Thecareeradvicehereissimple.Hestheclient;Ihavetoadaptmypreferredstyleof
leadingameetingtohisneeds,orIamunlikelytobesuccessfulinbuildingalongterm,
mutuallybeneficialrelationshipwithhim.Itwasuptometorecognizeourdifferences
andtoadaptmybehaviortosomethingthatwillmakehimcomfortablenottheother
wayaround.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereisstraightforward.Successful
peopleunderstandthemselves.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinTweet125inSuccess
Tweets.Gettoknowyourself.Useyourselfknowledgetobetterunderstandothers
andbuildmutuallybeneficialrelationshipswiththem.Theyusetheirunderstandingof
themselvestocompareandcontrasttheirneedsandwantswiththepeoplearound

349
them.Inthisway,theyadapttheirbehaviortotheotherpersonmakingiteasierto
buildstrongrelationships.Thenexttimeyourunintosomeonewholooksattheworld
differentlyfromyou,seewhatyoucandotoadaptyourcommunicationstyleand
behaviortohisorherstyle.Ifyoudothis,Iguaranteeyoullbeonyourwaytobuilding
abetter,strongerrelationshipwiththatperson.

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SuccessTweet126

Selfawarenessisthefirststepinbuildingrelationshipsandresolvingconflict.

Youneedtobeinterpersonallycompetenttobuildstrongrelationships.In1988,
researchersattheDepartmentofPsychologyatUCLAsuggestedthattherearefive
dimensionsofinterpersonalcompetence

1.Initiatingrelationships.
2.Selfdisclosure.
3.Providingemotionalsupport.
4.Assertingdispleasurewithothersactions.
5.Managinginterpersonalconflicts.

Selfawarenesswasnotoneoftheinterpersonalcompetencefactorsidentifiedbythe
UCLAresearchersin1988.Ontheotherhand,thefirstthreeinitiatingrelationships,
selfdisclosureandprovidingemotionalsupportarewaystobuildandnurture
relationships.Thelasttwoassertingdispleasurewithothersactions,andmanaging
interpersonalconflictsarewaystoresolveconflictinapositivemanner.

Ibelievethatselfawarenessisthefoundationofinterpersonalcompetence.Self
awarenessisthefirststepinbuildingpositiverelationshipsandinresolvingconflictina
positivemanner.Selfawarepeopleunderstandhowtheyaresimilarto,anddifferent
fromotherpeople.

Theyusethisinsighttohelpthemdothingslikeinitiaterelationshipswithavarietyof
people;determinehowmuchtheyshoulddiscloseaboutthemselvesatvariouspointsin
arelationship;anddeterminetheappropriateamountofemotionalsupporttheyshould
offerothers.Selfawarepeoplealsousetheirknowledgeofthemselvesandothersto
determinewhenandhowtoasserttheirdispleasurewithanotherpersonsactions,and
tomanageandresolveinterpersonalconflicts.

Ifyouunderstandyourself,youcanbetterunderstandothers.Illusemyselfasan
example.IprefertothinkthingsthroughbeforeImakemypositiononanissueknown.
ThereareseveralpeopleIknowwhothinkoutloud,meaningthattheyreacha
positiononanissuebytalkingaboutit.WhenIamwithoneofthesepeople,Ijointhem
inthinkingoutloud.IknowthatifIdont,decisionsarelikelytogetmadewhileIam
thinkingthroughmypositionsilently.

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Heresanotherexample.Imakeintuitiveleaps.MymindgoesfromAtoBtoF.Alotof
peopleIknowprocessinformationsequentially.TheirmindsgofromAtoBtoCtoDto
EtoF.WhenIamwiththesepeople,Idontblurtoutmyintuitiveleaps.WhenIhave
one,IgobackandfillintheBtoCtoDtoEbeforeIcomeoutwithF.Inthisway,Iam
betterabletogetmypointacrosstomysequentiallythinkingcolleaguesandclients.

Onemore:Iamhappytoleavemyoptionsopen,andtochangemymindsomewhatlate
inthegame.Iknowalotofpeoplewhodontfeelcomfortablewiththis.Theyhave
strongneedsforclosure.Onceadecisionismade,theywantittostaymade.WhenIm
dealingwiththesetypesofpeople,IaskmyselfifthechangeIamproposingwillmakea
realdifference.Ifnot,Idontproposeit.IfIthinkitisnecessary,Ibringitup.However,
whenIdo,IamveryclearthatIamrevisitingadecisionthathasalreadybeenmade,
thatthismightbefrustratingtootherpeople,butthatIthinkitisnecessarytorethink
thedecisionandthenIgiveveryspecificreasonsforwantingtorevisitthedecision
andhowsuchaconversationcanyieldbetterresults.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplebuild
strongrelationshipswiththeimportantpeopleintheirlives.Theyfollowthecareer
adviceinTweet126inSuccessTweets.Selfawarenessisthefirststepinbuilding
relationshipsandresolvingconflict.Youcanbuildsolidrelationshipsbytakingthe
initiative,sharinginformationaboutyourself,beingemotionallysupportive,andsharing
yourfeelingsaboutbehaviortowhichyouhaveanegativereactioninordertoresolve
conflictpositively.However,relationshipbuildingbeginswithselfawareness.
Understandingyourselfandhowyouaresimilarto,ordifferentfromothers,isgreat
careeradviceandthefoundationofallrelationshipbuilding.

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Succe ssTweet 127

Payitforward.Buildrelationshipsbygivingwithnoexpectationofreturn.Giveof
yourselftobuildstrongrelationships.

ThistweetremindsmeofaninspirationalmovieIsenttomysubscribersawhileback.
Itscalledthe1000principle.Theprincipleissimple.Thebestwaytobuildsolid
relationshipsistotake100%responsibilityforthem.Youcanseethismoviebylogging
ontohttp://flickspire.com/1sst/TCSG/HundredZero.Checkitout.Itisagreatmovie
thatyoullwanttosharewithyourfamily,friendsandcoworkers.Youhavenotonlymy
permission,butmyencouragement,todoso.

In2009IparticipatedinawritingprojectwithmycolleaguesattheCreatingWE
Institute.Wepublishedalittlebookcalled,42RulesforCreatingWE.Theruleswere
shortessaysthatcontainedalotofgreatcareeradvice.Icontributedthreerules.One
wascalled,ThereisNoQuidProQuoinWE.Thisrulegoesdirectlytotheideaof
payingitforwarddescribedinTweet127.Idliketosharethecareeradviceinthisessay
withafewminoreditswithyouhere.

WEisbuiltonrelationships;theideathatweareallconnected,andthatthrough
aWEcentric,ratherthanatraditionalIcentricapproach,ourcollectivewisdom
growsandevolves.Thiskindofthinkingcreatesstrongerorganizationsand
societies.Itfostersmutualsharedrespectfortheuniquecontributionevery
personiscapableofmaking.Solid,lasting,mutuallybeneficialrelationshipsare
atthecoreofWE.Givingwithnoexpectationofreturnisagreatwaytocreate
thesetypesofrelationships.

Thisisaquidproquoworld:youdoformeandIlldoforyou.Whilethereis
nothingwronginreciprocatingagooddeedorafavor,thereisafundamental
problemwithquidproquo.Itisreactivenotproactive.Toomanypeoplewait
forotherstogofirst.Theyadopttheattitude,Whenandifyoudoforme,Ill
doforyou.ThisscarcitymentalityisnotconducivetocreatingWE,orbuilding
strongrelationships.Whenyoucomefromascarcitymentality,youfocuson
holdingontowhatyoualreadyhave.Thiscanpreventyoufromreceivingwhat
youmightpossiblyget.

353
 Ontheotherhand,givingwithnoexpectationofreturncomesfromaproactive
abundancementality.Whenyougivewithnoexpectationofreturn,youare
acknowledgingtheabundanceoftheuniverse.Youaredemonstratingfaiththat
thegoodyoudowillbenefitothersclosetoyouandtheworldatlargeandthat
goodthingswillcomebacktoyou.

Givingwithnoexpectationofreturnisironic.IhavefoundthatthemoreIgive,
themoreIreceive;oftenfromunlikelysources.Butthatsnotmyreasonfor
givingandIhopeitisnotyours.Thebestreasonforgivingisthebasicjoyof
makingadifferenceinotherpeopleslivesandincreatingaWEcentricworld.

IlovetheLibertyMutualInsuranceresponsibilityads.Theyareaveryvisual
demonstrationoftheideasbehindcreatingWEespeciallygivingwithno
expectationofreturn.Youveprobablyseenthem.

Theybeginwithsomeonegoingalittleoutofhisorherwaytodosomething
thatbenefitsothers;pickingupapieceoftrash,openingadoorforanother
personwhoshandsarefull.Anotherpersonobservesthisandgoesoutofhisor
herwayforsomeoneelse.Thecyclerepeatsseveraltimesduringthead.The
messageisclear.Weareallbetteroffwhenwehelpeachother.

GivingwithoutexpectationofreturnnotonlyhelpsyoucreateaWEcentric
culture,ithelpsyoubuildstrongpartnerships.LarryAgrestoisaWEcentricguy.
Hesays,Trulysuccessfulpeoplenevercompete,theynetworkandleverage
theirrelationshipsbyprovidingvalueandgivingmorethantheyreceive.

Intheend,givingwithnoexpectationofreturncomesdowntoyourmentality
scarcityorabundance.Ifyoucomefromascarcitymentality,youwillliveby
quidproquo,andperpetuatetheIcentricstatusquo.Ifyoucomefroman
abundancementality,youwillgivewithnoexpectationofreturnandbeginto
createaWEcentricworldandcreatethekindofstrong,mutuallybeneficial
relationshipsthatwillhelpyoucreatethelifeandcareersuccessyouwantand
deserve.

Ichooseabundanceandpayingitforward.IagreewithWinstonChurchill,who
oncesaid,Wemakealivingbywhatweget,wemakealifebywhatwegive.

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 Whenyougivewithnoexpectationofreturnyouwillgetagoodlife.Youllalso
getabetterworld;oneinwhichwealllookoutforoneanother.

Thecommonsensepointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleareadeptatbuildingstrong
relationships.TheyunderstandandusethecareeradviceinTweet127inSuccess
Tweets.Payitforward.Buildrelationshipsbygivingwithnoexpectationofreturn.
Giveofyourselftobuildstrongrelationships.Payingitforwardistheoppositeofquid
proquo.Whenyougofirstgiveofyourselftohelpsomeoneelse,withno
expectationsofreturnyouarelayingthefoundationforasuccessfulrelationship.
Whenyouwaittoreciprocateagooddeedbyanotherperson,youareengaginginquid
proquobehaviorthatusuallyresultsinlostrelationshipopportunities.Doyourselfa
favor,followthiscareeradvicewhenitcomestorelationshipbuildingpayitforward.
Checkoutthe1000moviebygoingtohttp://flickspire.com/1sst/TCSG/HundredZero/

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Succe ssTweet 128

Whenmeetingsomeonenewaskyourself,WhatcanIdotohelpthisperson?Youll
buildstrongerrelationshipsbythinkingthisway.

GivewithnoexpectationofreturnisoneofthesuggestionsImaketomycareer
successcoachclientswhenitcomestobuildingstrongrelationships.Payitforwardis
themainadviceinSuccessTweet127.Ifollowbothofthesepiecesofcareeradvice
myself.ThatsoneofthereasonsIwritethisblogtohelppeoplecreatethelifeand
careersuccesstheywantanddeserve.

Awhileback,IdidablogpostinwhichIhighlightedLindaSalazarsgreatbook,Awaken
theGenieWithin.IdidntknowLindaatthetime,onlywhatshewrote.Iwrotethepost
becauseIlovedthebookandthoughtithassomegreatlifeandcareersuccessadvice.

IsentLindaanemailtellingherabouttheblogpost.Iattachedoneofmycareer
successbooks.

Asitturnsout,Lindathoughtthatthatmyposthelpedhertoo.Ireceivedthisemail
fromherthedayafterIpublishedthepost

Bud,

Iamdeeplytouchedbyyourblogwriteupthatincludessomuchinformation
aboutmybook.Youareobviouslyamanwhowalkshistalkandyoushould
knowyouhaveengrainedyourselfdeepinmyheartbecausetherearenotalot
ofpeopleintheworldwhodothat.

Thankyousomuch.AndIwouldliketoreciprocateonmyblogwhenI'vegotten
atleasthalfwaythroughyourbook.Istarteditlastnightandamenjoyingit
greatly.

UnderstandthisisnotbecauseIhaveto!ThisistrulybecauseIwanttoand
that'sjustthewayitis!

What'ssowonderfulisthedetailyougiveaboutyourselfandyourlifeatthe
startofthebookaperfectwaytogettoknowtheauthorbeforedelvinginto
hisbookgivesitsuchapersonaltouch.

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 HaveawonderfuldayandI'llbeintouch.

Blessings,

Linda

Prettycool,right?Iwastryingtohelpreadersofthisblogcreatecareersuccessby
writingaboutLindasbookyoureallyshouldgetitandreadit.Lindasawmypostas
helpfultoher.Shetookthetimetowritemeaverynicenote,andofferedto
reciprocateonherblog.

LindaandInowhavearelationshiponethatcanbenefitbothusofpersonallyand
professionallyallbecauseImentionedherbookinoneofmyblogposts.Thatsthe
powerofgivingwithnoexpectationofreturn.Ibetyouvehadexperienceslikethis.
Pleasesharetheminacomment.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereisclear.Successfulpeopleare
interpersonallycompetent.Interpersonallycompetentpeoplebuildstrongrelationships
bygivingwithnoexpectationofreturn.TheyfollowthecareeradviceinTweet128in
SuccessTweets.Whenmeetingsomeonenew,askyourself,WhatcanIdotohelpthis
person?Youllbuildstrongerrelationshipsbythinkingthisway.Hereissomegreat
careeradvice.Thenexttimeyoumeetsomeonenew,askyourself,WhatcanIdoto
helpthisperson?Mostpeopleasktheoppositequestion,Howcanthispersonhelp
me?BythinkinghowcanIhelpfirst,youllbebetterabletobuildstrong
relationshipsthatwillpayoffandhelpyoucreatelifeandcareersuccess.Waybackon
January20,1961,inhisinaugurationspeechasPresidentoftheUnitedStates,John
Kennedysaid,Asknotwhatyourcountrycandoforyou.Askwhatyoucandoforyour
country.Thesewordswithaslighttwistaretruetodayandwillhelpyoubecomea
lifeandcareersuccess.Asknotwhatotherscandoforyou.Askwhatyoucandofor
others.

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Succe ssTweet 129

Thereisnoquidproquoineffectiverelationships.Doforotherswithoutbeingasked
orwaitingforthemtodoforyou.

IwasinPhoenixforsomebusinessacoupleofyearsago.Onthattrip,Ididsomething
thatIdotooseldom.Iputonmybathingsuit,tookmyiPodanddidnothingbutsitby
thepoollisteningtomusicforanhour.

IhaveseveralEaglessongsonmyiPod.Iknowthatitsbecomefashionabletobashthe
Eaglesthesedays,butIwasafanyearsagoandamstillafantoday.Desperadoismy
favoriteEaglessong.Itcameupontheshuffle.AsIwaslistening,Iwasstruckbythe
followingwords

Andfreedom,ohfreedomwell,thatsjustsomepeopletalking.
Yourprisoniswalkingthroughthisworldallalone.

Theselyricsarerighton.Youareputtingyourselfintoaselfimposedprisonifyou
choosetogoitalone.Weallneedotherpeopleinourlivesifweregoingtogrow,
flourishandsucceed.Thisistrueinyourpersonallife,aswellasyourcareerand
professionallife.Thatswhybuildingandnurturingstrongrelationshipsisoneofthe
keystocreatingthecareerandlifesuccessyouwantanddeserve.

Howdoyoubuildstrongrelationships?Simple.Givewithnoexpectationofreturn.
Dontthinkquidproquo.ThinkhowcanIhelpthisperson?

Thisisthethirdtweetinarowthatdealswiththeideaofpayingitforward,ofgiving
withnoexpectationofreturn,ofavoidingaquidproquomentality.Ifyouregettingthe
ideathatIthinktheseideasaresomepowerfulcareersuccessadvice,youreright.

Thisisaquidproquoworld:youdoformeandIlldoforyou.Thereisa
fundamentalproblemwithquidproquo.Itisreactivenotproactiveandcomes
fromascarcitymentality.Toomanypeoplewaitforotherstogofirst.They
adopttheattitude,Whenandifyoudoforme,Illdoforyou.Thisscarcity
mentalityisnotconducivetobuildingstrongrelationships.Whenyoucome
fromascarcitymentality,youfocusonholdingontowhatyoualreadyhave.
Thiscanpreventyoufromreceivingwhatyoumightpossiblyget.

358
 Ontheotherhand,payingitforward,givingwithnoexpectationofreturn,
comesfromaproactiveabundancementality.Whenyoupayitforward,give
withnoexpectationofreturn,youaredemonstratingfaiththatthegoodyoudo
willbenefitothersandthatgoodthingswillcomebacktoyou.

Ibelievethiswithallmyheart.

Hereisahumorousexampletodrivehomethispoint.IwasinNewYorkacoupleof
weeksago.IwasenteringthesubwaywhenIsawahomelessguystandingonthe
landing.Iusuallydontgivemoneytoindividualhomelesspeople,preferringtosupport
thelocalorganizationthatprovidesservicestothehomeless,TheDenverRescue
Mission.

Buttherewassomethingaboutthisguythatmademepulloutadollarandgiveitto
him.Hethankedme,Ismiledandcontinueddownthesteps.

AllofasuddenIhear,Psssst.Ilookupandhehasopenedagate,whichhewas
standinginfrontof.Hesays,Comeon,youcangetinforfreethroughhere.Ihadmy
MetroCardinmyhand,butIwentbackupthestepsandthroughthegatehewas
holdingopen.Itcosts$2.25toridetheNYsubway.IgotarideforadollarbecauseI
gaveittothishomelessguy.

IknowthatIdisplayedsomequestionableethicsinthiscase,beatingtheNYTransit
Authorityoutofafare,butthatsnotthepoint.Ididsomethingforsomeonewho,I
thought,coulddoabsolutelynothingforme,andIgotanimmediatereturnofover
125%.

Idontrecommendyougoaboutgivingmoneytoeveryhomelesspersonstandingjust
outsidethesubway,butIdothinkthatthisstoryillustratesthepowerofgivingwithno
expectationofreturn.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplebuild
andnurturestrongrelationshipswiththeimportantpeopleintheirlives.Givingwithno
expectationofreturnisagreatwaytobeginbuildingrelationships.Followthecareer
adviceinTweet129inSuccessTweets.Thereisnoquidproquoineffective
relationships.Doforotherswithoutbeingaskedorwaitingforthemtodoforyou.
Dontthinkquidproquo.Dontwaitforsomeoneelsetomakethefirstmove.Be
willingtogofirst.Putyourselfoutthereanddowhatyoucanforothers.Youllbe

359
demonstratingyourrelationshipbuildingskillsandyourinterpersonalcompetence.
Takethefirststeptoday.Findsomeoneforwhomyoucandosomethingthendoit.
Youllbesurprisedatwhatyoumightgetfromaselflessactmaybeevenafree
subwayride.

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Succe ssTweet 130

Begenerous.Bygivingwithnoexpectationofreturn,youllbesurprisedbyhow
muchcomesbacktoyouinthelongrun.

Whenmybook,StraightTalkforSuccess,firstcameoutIdidabiglaunchcampaignthat
resultedinitbecominganAmazon.combestseller.Afewmonthsbeforethelaunch,I
settledonApril22asmylaunchdate;mostlybecausethetimingwasright.WhenI
lookedcloseratmycalendar,IsawthatApril22happenstobeEarthDay.Ican
rememberparticipatinginteachinsatPennStateontheveryfirstEarthDayin1970.

Idecidedthattherewassomekarmainvolvedhere.SinceIhadchosenApril22without
knowingitwasEarthDay,Ithoughtitwouldbeniceformetomakeasymbolicgesture
anddonate10%ofmynetproceedsfrombooksalesthatdaytoanorganizationthat
supportstheenvironment.Iknewtheperfectone.

IamamemberofVolunteersforOutdoorColorado,anapoliticalenvironmental
organization.TheirmissionistomotivateandenableColoradocitizenstobeactive
stewardsofColoradospubliclands,therebycreatingenthusiasticandbeneficial
stewardshipofColoradosnaturalandculturalresources.Theyaremyfavorite
environmentrelatednonprofit.Theydogreatwork.Iwashappytohelpthemoutby
donatingapartofthemoneyImadeonbooksalesthatEarthDay.

IcalledAnnBakerEasley,VOCExecutiveDirector,andtoldherwhatIhadinmind.Iwas
expectingathankyou.Igotthat,andmuchmore.AnnputmeintouchwithPiepvan
Heuven,VOCDeputyDirectorofDevelopmentandCommunication.Piepincludeda
messageaboutmybooklaunchintheVOCnewsletter,andsentanemailtotheir
membershiponthedayofthebooklaunch,askingthemtopurchaseacopyofStraight
Talk.

Whatstartedoffasaphilanthropicendeavoronmypartturnedintoapartnership.
And,itprovedmypointaboutgivingwithnoexpectationofreturn.IapproachedVOC
thinkingthatIcouldhelpthembymakingasmallcontribution.Theyembracedmyidea,
andtookitonestepfurther.Sonow,wearepartners.Ithinkthisisgreat.

Thisdoesntalwayswork.Priortomybooklaunch,Iparticipatedinabooklaunch
campaignforanotherauthor.WhenIaskedhertoreturnthefavor,Igotanemail

361
saying,Iamnotparticipatinginanybooklaunchpromotionsjustnow.Iamlaser
focusedonbuildingmybusinessusingFacebook.

Inotherwords,Kissoff,Bud.ButthatsOK.Ihelpedherwithhersuccessfullaunch,
andmanyotherpeoplesomeveryunexpectedarehelpingmewithmine.Inmy
experience,foreveryexperiencewheremyhelpisnotreciprocated,therearetwoor
threemorelikemyexperiencewithVolunteerforOutdoorColorado.

Recently,Ihavepartneredwithanewnonprofit:theGoForIt!Institute.GoForIt!
teacheskidssevenkeystolifesuccess

KEY1:IHaveaPositiveAttitude!Learnwhatattitudeis;whataspectsofyour
lifearecontrolledordirectedbyyourattitude;howtodetermineyourattitude
atanygivenmoment;specificstrategiestomakeapositiveattitudeapermanent
habitinyourlife.
KEY2:IBelieveinMyself!Understandthenatureofhumanpotentialthrougha
simpleprocessofidentifyingyourpersonaltalentsandabilities;developing
academicstrengthsandpersonalintereststocreatepersonalfulfillmentand
economicopportunitiesforyourfuture.
KEY3:IBuildPositiveHabits!Understandtheprocessofhowhabitsare
created;learntoidentifyandremoveselfdefeatinghabits;createhabitsthat
willmakeallaspectsofyourlifeeasierandmoresuccessful.
KEY4:IMakeWiseChoices!Learnthedramaticrelationshipbetweenany
currentcircumstancesinyourlifeandthechoicesthatcreatedthese;developa
personalproactiveplanfordesiredoutcomesthroughconscious,wisechoices.
KEY5:ISetandAchieveGoals!Recognizethedifferencebetweenawishanda
goal;makeacommitment,planandtakeaction;recognizecompletion.
KEY6:IUseMyCreativeImagination!Learntoadaptatechniqueprofessional
athletesusetoextendtheirphysicalability,toaccelerateproblemsolvingand
goalachievementinallareasofyourlife.
KEY7:IAmPersistent!Trackprogress;developthefocusanddetermination
requiredtosucceed;createanattitudeofgratitudeastheaccesstofulfilling
yourdreams,linktheSevenKeystoSuccesstogetherineverydaylife.

362


IlikethesesevenkeysandIlikethepeopleatGoForIt!whoarespreadingthewordto
youngpeople,parentsandteachersallacrosstheUSA.Thesearesmartpeoplewho
givegenerouslyofthemselvestohelpkidsourfuture.Iamproudtobeoneoftheir
partners.IamlaunchinganewwebsiteonwhichIwillsellcareeradvicebooksand
othercareersuccessmaterialsIhavedeveloped.Iwilldonateapercentageofmy
profitstotheGoForIt!Institute.Inthisway,youllbeabletohelpthembyhelping
yourself.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereisclear.Successfulpeoplebuildand
nurturestrongrelationshipswiththepeopleintheirlives.Onewaytheydothisisby
givingwithnoexpectationofreturn.FollowthecareeradviceinTweet130inSuccess
Tweets.Begenerous.Bygivingwithnoexpectationofreturn,youllbesurprisedby
howmuchcomesbacktoyouinthelongrun.Often,whenyougivewithno
expectationofreturn,youllbesurprisedbywhatcomesbacktoyou.Butthatsnotthe
importantreasonforit.Givewithnoexpectationofreturntohelpothersandtobuild
strong,mutuallybeneficialrelationshipswiththeimportantpeopleinyourlife.

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Behappytoseeotherssucceed.Usethesuccessofotherstomotivateyoutogreater
success.

AwhilebackinapostIdidonoptimismandselfconfidence,Imentionedaquotein
whichaguybythenameofAmbroseBiercebashedoptimismandIamanincurable
optimist.Iadvocateoptimismasawaytocreateselfconfidenceandcareersuccess

Anyway,Ambrosedefinedoptimismas,Thedoctrinethateverythingisbeautiful,
includingwhatisugly,everythinggood,especiallythebad,andeverythingrightthatis
wrongItishereditary,butfortunatelynotcontagious.

IcomeacrossquotesfromMr.Biercefrequently.Checkoutthisone:Calamitiesareof
twokinds:misfortunestoourselves,andgoodfortunetoothers.Bothofthesequotes
arereallycynical.Iwonderedwhatkindofguywouldproducethem.

SoIdecidedtolearnsomethingaboutAmbroseBierce.Asitturnsout,hewascalled
BitterBiercebyhiscontemporaries.AndIcanseewhy.Firsthebashesoptimism,
thenhesuggeststhathumanbeingsseethegoodfortuneofothersasapersonal
calamity.

AmbroseBierceisaninterestingcharacter.Hewasbornin1842,andservedinthe
UnionArmyduringtheCivilWar.Nooneknowsforsure,butitisthoughtthathedied
in1914.In1913,hetraveledtoMexicotogetinvolvedwiththerevolutiongoingon
there.

HejoinedPanchoVillasarmyinJuarez.OnDecember261913,hepostedalettertoa
friendfromChihuahua.Thatwashislastcorrespondence.Wikipediasays,Several
writershavespeculatedthatheheadednorthtotheGrandCanyon,foundaremote
spotthereandshothimself,thoughnoevidenceexiststosupportthisview.All
investigationsintohisfatehaveprovedfruitless,anddespiteanabundanceoftheories
hisendremainsshroudedinmystery.Thedateofhisdeathisgenerallycitedas
1914?.HisdisappearanceisoneofthemostfamousinAmericanliteraryhistory.

In1906,AmbroseBiercepublishedTheCynicsWordBook.Thetitlewaschangedto
TheDevilsDictionary.ItisabookofsatiricaldefinitionsofEnglishwords.Ambrose

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wasclever,Illgivehimthat.Ioftenseequotesfromthisbookonline,includingtheone
thatinspiredtodayspost:Calamitiesareoftwokinds:misfortunestoourselves,and
goodfortunetoothers.

ButIdigress.Iwishhewerearoundtoday,becauseIwouldliketoaskhimwherehegot
hisbleakviewofhumannature.Hedefinespolitenessas,Themostacceptable
hypocrisy.Inanotherquote,hedefinesperseveranceas,Alowlyvirtuewhereby
mediocrityachievesaninglorioussuccess.

DoyouknowanypeoplelikeAmbroseBierce?Ifyoudo,holdthematarmslength.
Whileyoumayfindthemtobewittyandentertainingatfirst,theywilldragyoudownin
thelongrun.

PeoplelikeAmbroseBiercemaybeclever,buttheirviewsareincompatiblewith
becomingselfconfident,creatingpositivepersonalimpact,buildingstrongrelationships
andbecomingalifeandcareersuccess.Successfulpeoplelookfor,andusuallyfind,the
bestinothers.Theyarepolitebecauseitisthebestwaytobuildstrongrelationships.
Theyarewillingtoextendthemselvestohelpothers,evenwhentheycanseeno
immediatereturntothemforsodoing.

Ifyoureadthisblogregularly,youknowIamabigfanofTheOptimistCreed.Point6
says,

Promiseyourselftobejustasenthusiasticaboutthesuccessofothersasyou
areofyourown.

Thisis180degreesfromtheAmbroseBiercequotethatIcitedatthebeginningofthis
postandfromhislifeviewingeneral.Successful,selfconfident,optimisticpeople
arentjealousorupsetbythesuccessofothers.Theyaregenuinelypleasedwhenthey
seeotherssucceed.Theyuseotherssuccessasaninspiration.Theyuseittomotivate
themselvestoachievetheirownlifeandcareersuccess.

IfyouwouldlikeacopyofTheOptimistCreedthatyoucanframeandhanginyour
workspace,gotohttp://budbilanich.com/optimist.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereisclear.Successfulpeopleareself
confident,createpositivepersonalimpact,interpersonallycompetentandadeptat
buildingstrongrelationshipswiththepeoplearoundthem.Inpart,theybuildthese
relationshipsbybeinggenuinelypleasedaboutthesuccessofothers.Theyareneither

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jealous,norpetty.Theyarehappytoseeotherssucceed.Theyfollowthecareeradvice
inTweet131inSuccessTweets.Behappytoseeotherssucceed.Usethesuccessof
otherstomotivateyoutogreatersuccess.Successful,selfconfidentpeopleusethe
successofotherstomotivatethemselvestogreatersuccess.Theyarentjealous.They
arehappytoseeotherssucceed,iffornootherreasonthanotherscareersuccesscan
beaspringboardfortheirownlifeandcareersuccess.

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Trustisthegluethatholdsrelationshipstogether.Themoreyoudemonstratetrustin
others,themoretheywilltrustyou.

Buildingrelationshipscomesdowntotwowords:trustandabundance.

Whenyoutrustothersyouarewillingtoputyourselfouttheretogivewithno
expectationofreturn,toactinanonquidproquomanner.Recently,Ididablogpostin
whichImentionedachapterIwrotein42RulesforCreatingWEcalled,Thereisno
quidproinWE.Inthatpost,Ipointedoutthatwhilethereisnothingwrongwith
returningthefavorwhensomeonedoesyouagoodturn,waitingforotherstohelpyou
isnotagoodideawhenitcomestobuildingrelationships.Successfulpeoplearewilling
toputthemselvesouttheretopayitforward.

Payingitforwardtakestrust,butitisgreatcareeradvice.Trustyourselftodoforothers
withnoguaranteeofreturn.Trustthatotherswonttakeadvantageofyou.Trustin
theuniverseinthatthegoodyouputoutwillcomebacktoyouinunexpectedways.
Trustisthegluethatholdsrelationshipstogether.Themoreyoudemonstratetrustin
others,themoretheywilltrustyou.

Abundanceisalsoimportantinbuildingrelationships.Peoplewhocomefroman
abundancementalityseelifeasanonzerosumgame;aperspectivethatholdsthatwe
canallbewinnersinthegameoflife.Theyrealizethatthereisenoughforallofus
enoughmoney,recognition,success,thethingsthatpeoplewhocomefromascarcity
mentalityseeasinshortsupply.Peoplewhocomefromascarcitymentalityseelifeasa
zerosumgame;ifyouwin,Ihavetoloseandviceversa.

IchoosetrustandabundancebecauseIhaveseenthemworkintherealworldandI
findthatIamhappierwithmyselfwhenIamtrustingandcomefromaplaceof
abundance.Whatdoyouchoosetrustandabundance,ormistrustandscarcity?The
choiceyoumakecanhaveahugeimpactonyourabilitytobuildrelationshipsand
createthelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplearecompetent
atbuildingstrong,mutuallybeneficialrelationshipswiththeimportantpeopleintheirlives.
TheyfollowthecareeradviceinTweet132inSuccessTweets.Trustisthegluethatholds

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relationshipstogether.Themoreyoudemonstratetrustinothers,themoretheywilltrust
you.Atrustingattitudeandabundancementalityarethebestwaytobuildrelationships.
Whenyoutrustyourself,othersandtheuniverse,youwillapproachlifefromanabundance
mentality.Youllbewillingtogiveofyourselfwithnoexpectationofdirectreturn.Thisworld
viewwillmakeiteasierforyoutobuildandmaintaintherelationshipsthatwillhelpyoucreate
thesuccessfullifeandcareeryouwantanddeserve.

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Resolveconflictpositively.Treatconflictasanopportunitytostrengthen,notdestroy,
therelationshipsyouveworkedhardtobuild.

Successfulpeopleresolveconflictinapositivemanner.Nomatterhowinterpersonally
compent,orhoweasygoingyouare,youwillinevitablyfindyourselfinconflict.People
willnotalwaysagreewithyou,andyouwillnotalwaysagreewithothers.

Iknowalittlebitaboutconflictresolution.Itwasthetopicofmydissertationat
Harvard.Waybackinthe1970s,KenThomasandRalphKilmanndevelopedan
instrumenttomeasureapersonstendencieswheninaconflictsituation.

Theycameupwithfivepredominantconflictstyles:Competing,Collaborating,
Compromising,AccommodatingandAvoiding.Theirresearchsuggeststhatallfiveare
appropriatedependingonthesituation.

Asacareersuccesscoachhowever,IhavefoundthattheCollaboratingstyleisthebest
defaultmode.Whenyoucollaboratewithotherstoresolveconflict,youfocuson
meetingbothyourneedsandtheneedsoftheotherperson.Ilikethisstylebecauseit
helpsyoubringtogetheravarietyofviewpointstogetthebestsolution.

Whenyoucollaborate,neitherpersonislikelytofeelasifheorshewonorlost.Also,
collaboratingwiththepersonorpersonswithwhomyouareinconflictcreatesthe
opportunityforyoutoworktogethertobuildasolutionthatbestaddresseseveryones
concerns.

Successfulpeopleareadeptatresolvingconflictinapositivemanner.Collaborationis
thebestchoiceofthefivemostcommonhandlingstyles.Whenyoucollaboratewith
othersespeciallythosewithwhomyouareinconflictyounotonlyarelikelyto
resolveyourconflictinapositivemanner,youwillstrengthenyourrelationshipwiththe
otherperson.Itsawinwin.

WhenIworkcollaborativelywithsomeone,Ifocusonoursimilarities,notour
differences.Thiscreatesabondthatnotonlyhelpsusgetthroughourconflict,but
helpsusstrengthenourrelationship,andstrongrelationshipsleadtocareersuccess.

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AsImentionedintheparagraphabove,myfavoritemethodfordealingwithconflictis
counterintuitive.Bydefinition,conflictisastateofdisagreement.WhenIminconflict
withsomeone,however,insteadoffocusingonwherewedisagree,Ifocusonwherewe
agree.

Thisisagreatwaytonotonlyresolveconflictpositively,ithelpsstrengthen
relationships.And,asweallknow,conflictoftenleadstoadeteriorationof
relationships.Sotomethisapproachisanobrainer.First,yougettoresolveconflict
positively.Second,youstrengthenyourrelationships.Third,youimproveyourchances
ofbecomingalifeandcareersuccess.

Ilookforanysmallpointofagreementandthentrytobuildonit.Ifindthatitiseasier
toreachalargeragreementwhenIbuildfromapointofsmallagreement,ratherthan
attemptingtoteardowntheotherpersonspointswithwhichIdontagree.

Mostpeopledontdothis.Theygetcaughtupinprovingtheirpoint.Theyholdontoit
morestronglywhensomeoneelseattacksit.Ifyouturnaroundthediscussionandsay,
Letsfocuswhereweagree,andseeifwecanbuildsomethingfromthere,youare
makingthesituationlesspersonal.Nowthetwoofyouareworkingtogethertofigure
outamutuallyagreeablesolutiontoyourdisagreement.Yourenottearingdownone
anothersargumentsjusttogetyourway.Trythis.Itworks.

PresidentObamademonstratedthisinhisfirstspeechtoajointsessionofCongress.As
hewaswindinguphistalk,hesaid

Iknowthatwehaven'tagreedoneveryissuethusfar,andtherearesurely
timesinthefuturewhenwewillpartways.ButIalsoknowthateveryAmerican
whoissittingheretonightlovesthiscountryandwantsittosucceed.Thatmust
bethestartingpointforeverydebatewehaveinthecomingmonths,andwhere
wereturnafterthosedebatesaredone.Thatisthefoundationonwhichthe
Americanpeopleexpectustobuildcommonground.

Andifwedoifwecometogetherandliftthisnationfromthedepthsofthis
crisis,ifweputourpeoplebacktoworkandrestarttheengineofourprosperity,
ifweconfrontwithoutfearthechallengesofourtimeandsummonthat
enduringspiritofanAmericathatdoesnotquitthensomedayyearsfromnow

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 ourchildrencantelltheirchildrenthatthiswasthetimewhenweperformed,in
thewordsthatarecarvedintothisverychamber,somethingworthytobe
remembered.Thankyou,Godblessyou,andmayGodblesstheUnitedStates
ofAmerica.

Regardlessofyourpoliticalviews,thePresidentisrightonwiththisone.Whenyou
cometogetherwiththepeoplewithwhomyouareinconflictbyidentifyingsomesmall
pointonwhichyouagree,youareputtingyourselfinthepositiontobeginbuildinga
resolutiontotheconflictonethatislikelybetterthaneithersidesopeningposition.
And,byworkingtogether,youllbestrengtheningyourrelationship.Thiswillfacilitate
evenmoreeffectiveconflictresolutiondowntheroad.Lookforcommonground.
Whenyoufindit,buildonit.Youllfindthatthisisagreatwaytoresolveconflictina
mannerthatenhances,notdestroysrelationships.

Beassertive,notaggressiveinresolvingconflict.Heresatruestory.Frontierflight862,
DenvertoPhoenix.IgetonlatebecauseImonstandbyforanearlierflight.Ihavea
middleseat,14B.WhenIarriveatrow14,therearewomensittinginseatsAandC.I
sayhello,stowmybags,andgetintomyseat.

Thewomanin14Asmilesatme,looksatthebookIhaveinmyhand,andsays,That
lookslikeaninterestingbook.ImreadingLauraLowellsbook,42rulesofMarketing.
Wechataminuteaboutthebookandthenlapseintosomegeneralconversation.

HernameisCherylMunsey,andasitturnsout,CherylandIknowafewpeoplein
common.Andshesverypersonable.Wechatthewholetimetheplaneistaxiingand
throughtakeoff.

Assoonastheplaneisintheair,thewomanin14Cringstheflightattendantcall
button.Theflightattendantcomesontheloudspeakerandsays,Wearestillinour
ascent.Willthepersonwhoranghisorhercallbuttonturnitoffuntilwereachour
cruisingaltitude?Leaveitononlyifitsarealemergency.

14Cleavesthelighton.Imworriedthatshemightbeill.Theflightattendantstruggles
downtheaisle.Whenshearrivesatourrow,14Csays,Ineedapairofheadphones.
Thesepeoplearetalkingtoomuchanddrivingmecrazy.Assheissayingthis,sheis
removingearplugs.

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Ifeelbad.Itendtospeaksoftlyincrowded,enclosedplaceslikeairplanesandwas
surprisedthatourconversationwasannoyingherespeciallywhenshewaswearing
earplugs.Isayto14C,Iapologizeifwewereannoyingyou.Ididntrealizewewere
speakingsoloudly.Shesays,Iwastryingtosleep,andputsontheheadphonesthat
shegotfromtheflightattendant.

Notaminutelater,sheringsthecallbuttonagain.Whentheflightattendantcomes
back,shesays,Ineedanotherpair.Theseearphonesarentdrowningoutthese
people.Ithoughtthiswaskindofpeculiar,asCherylandIwerestunnedbywhat
happenedandreallyhadntsaidanythingsinceheroriginalcommentthatwewere
speakingtooloudly.

Allofthisshouldjustgointooneofthoseirritating,bizarremomentsinlifefilesandbe
forgotten.However,itmakesapointaboutpersonalresponsibility,interpersonal
competenceandlifeandcareersuccess.

Thewomanin14CnevertoldCherylandmethatweweredisturbinghersleep.Instead,
shechosetocomplaintotheflightattendantaboutourconversation.Itcameacrossto
bothCherylandmeasaprettyhostilegesture.Webothwonderedwhyshejustdidnt
askustospeakmoresoftly.Thatswhataninterpersonallycompetentpersonwould
havedone.Thatswhatsomeonewhowastakingresponsibilityforherselfandher
needswouldhavedone.

Itscalledbeingassertive.Assertivepeoplestandupfortheirrights,butdoitinsucha
wayasnottooffendotherpeople.Passivepeopleletotherstrampleonthemanddont
standupfortheirrights.Aggressivepeoplegetwhattheywant,butattheexpenseof
others.Inthiscase,14Cwasbeingaggressive.

Therearetwocommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointshere:one,takeresponsibilityfor
yourself.Tellpeoplehowyoufeel.Dontletothersdothingsthatmakeyourlifeunpleasant.
Andtwo,standupforyourselfinanassertive,nonaggressiveway.Followthecareeradvicein
Tweet133inSuccessTweets.Resolveconflictpositively.Treatconflictasanopportunityto
strengthen,notdestroy,therelationshipsyouveworkedhardtobuild.Conflictcandestroy
relationshipsanditcanstrengthenthem.Whenyoufindyourselfinconflictwithanother
person,choosetoseeitasanopportunitytostrengthenyourrelationshipwiththem.The
careeradvicehereissimple.Resolveconflictbyactinginapositive,proactiveandassertive
manner.

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Settledisputesandresolvedifferencesquickly.Dontletthemdragon.Engagethe
otherpersoninmeaningfulconversation.

AnarticlethatappearedintheWednesday,May92007BusinessDaysectionofThe
NewYorkTimesmadethispointeversoclearly.

OnMarch23,AndrewN.Liveris,thechiefexecutiveofDowChemical,wrotea
scathingperformancereviewaboutoneofhistoplieutenants.

Iexpecttoseethatyournegativebodylanguagewhenyoudisagreewitha
courseofactioniseliminated,hewrotetotheexecutive,RomeoKreinberg,who
ranthe$21billionperformanceplasticsandchemicalbusinessportfolio.
Frankly,yourrecentbehaviorwasthelaststrawandIwillnotallowsuch
destructivebehaviortoberepeated.

Mr.LiverisgaveMr.Kreinbergthreemonthstochangehisbehavior.Otherwise,
hewarned,IwillhavenochoicebuttoseveryourlinkswithDow.

Fromthesoundsofit,Mr.Kreinbergisaposterboyforalackofinterpersonal
incompetence.Negativebodylanguagedestructivebehavioritwouldhavebeen
funtobeaflyonthewallinthemeetingsthatleduptoMr.LiverisreviewofMr.
Kreinbergsperformance.

Inmyexperience,peoplewhoaresoblatantlyunaware(oruncaring)oftheimpactof
theirbehavioronothers,veryseldomenduprunning$21billionbusinesses.Most
nevermakeitpastthelevelofindividualcontributororfirstlevelmanager.

Thereissomesimple,butpowerfulcommonsensecareeradvicehere.Ifyoucantbuild
andmaintainstrongrelationshipswiththepeopleinyourorganization;andifyoucant
learntodealwithconflictinapositivemanner,youareunlikelytobecomeacareerand
lifesuccess.

Successfulpeoplerealizethattheyhavetocontinueworkingwiththepeoplewith
whomtheyfindthemselvesinconflict.Theyacceptdecisionsthatgoagainstthem

373
graciously.Theypitchinandhelpmakedecisionswork;eveniftheyarguedstrenuously
againstthosedecisionsbeforetheyweremade.

Successfulinterpersonallycompetentpeopleavoidnegativebodylanguageand
destructivebehaviorforthegoodoftheircompany,andthegoodoftheircareers.

Bytheway,Mr.LiverisfiredMr.Kreinbergthreeweekslaterforanonrelatedissue
beinginvolvedinunauthorizeddiscussionwiththirdpartiesaboutthepotential
acquisitionofthecompany.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplefollow
thecareeradviceinTweet134inSuccessTweets.Settledisputesandresolve
differencesquickly.Dontletthemdragon.Engagetheotherpersoninmeaningful
conversation.Dontletyourbodylanguageshowhownegativelyyoufeelabouta
decisionorotherperson.Dontengageindestructivebehaviorsactionsthatdamage
yourreputation,yourrelationshipsandyourcompany.Instead,addressdifferences
headon.Resolvethemquicklyandmoveon.Treatpeoplewithwhomyoudisagree
withdignityandrespect.

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Beaconsensusbuilder.Focusonwhereyouagreewithothers.Itwillbeeasierto
resolvedifferencesandcreateagreement.

TheJuly2009issueofSUCCESSMagazinehadaninterestinginterviewwithPatrick
Lencioni,authorof,TheFiveDysfunctionsofaTeam.ImanadmirerofPatrickswriting.
Iparticularlylikewhathehastosayaboutteamsandteamwork.Fearofconflictisone
oftheteamdysfunctionshediscussesinthebookandinterviewinSUCCESS.

And,ifyoureadthisblogwithanyregularity,youknowthatIamabigfanofSUCCESS
Magazine.Ireaditcovertocovereverymonthandusuallyblogaboutoneortwoof
thearticlesineachissue.Ifyourenotasubscriber,Isuggestyougoto
www.success.comanddosonow.

HereswhatPatrickLencionihastosayaboutconflictanddisagreement

Thefactisthatgreatteamsargue.Notinameanspiritedorpersonalway.But
theydisagree,andpassionately,whenimportantdecisionsaremade.They
argueaboutconceptsandideasandavoidpersonalityfocused,meanspirited
attacks.Somanyofushavebeenraisedtoavoidconflictanddisagreementthat
wetrytocompromiseandreachartificialconsensus,andthatonlyleadsto
mediocrity.

Successful,interpersonallycompetentpeoplearenotmeanspirited.Theydontattack
others.Theydo,however,voicetheirdisagreementwithanothersideasinapositive
manner.Theyuseconflicttofindbetter,morecreativesolutionstotheirdifferences
withothers.

Ialwaysencouragepeoplewhoareinconflicttodosomethingthatiscounterintuitive
focusonwhereyouagree,notwhereyoudisagree.Whenyoufindyourselfinconflict
withanotherperson,itisnaturaltofocusonyourdifferences.However,thisapproach
tendstoleadtodigginginyourheelsandlookingforsupportforyourposition.The
moreyoudothis,thelessopenyouaretohearingwhattheotherpersonhastosay.
Conflictresolutionbecomesazerosum,win/losegame.

375
Ontheotherhand,ifyouactivelylookforandfindplaceswhereyouagree,youcan
jointlycreateasolutionthatsatisfiesbothofyourneeds.Hereisanexample.

Whenweboughtourhouse,wehadaconflictwiththesellerovertheclosingdate.This
washappeningattheendoftheyear.Theseller,whowasalsothebuilder,wantedto
closebyDecember31.WewerenotplanningonmovinguntilFebruary1.Duetosome
ambiguouslanguageinthecontract,thesituationwasbecomingquitecontentious.

Finally,Isaidtothebuilder,John,youwanttosellthishouse.Wewanttobuyit.Im
surewecanworkoutaclosingdatethatsuitsusboth.Atthatpoint,thetoneofour
discussionschanged.Wewereworkingtogethertosolveaproblemnotarguingover
December31andFebruary1dates.Eventhoughwebothendedupgivingalittle,
neitherofusfeltthatwehadgivenuponourposition.Wewereabletoresolveour
conflictpositively.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
interpersonallycompetent.Interpersonallycompetentpeopleresolveconflict
positively,withlittledamagetotheirrelationships.Theyfollowthecareeradvicein
Tweet135inSuccessTweets.Beaconsensusbuilder.Focusonwhereyouagreewith
others.Itwillbeeasiertoresolvedifferencesandcreateagreement.Conflictcanbe
destructivetorelationshipsanditcankillyourcareersuccess.Butwhenyouworkto
resolveconflictpositively,youstrengthenyourrelationships.Strongrelationshipsmake
iteasierforyoutoresolvefutureconflictsandbuildyourcareersuccess.Focusingon
pointsofagreement,howeversmall,isthebestwaytoresolveconflictpositively.
Focusingonwhereyouagreeputsyouinapositiontojointlycreateamutually
satisfyingsolutiontoaconflict,asopposedtowin/losenegotiation,inwhichoneperson
winsandtheotherloses.

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Beresponsibleforyourself.Noonecanmakeyouangry.Choosetoactinacivil,
constructivemannerintensesituations.

Yourvaluesareyourpersonalguidefordaytodayliving.Theyarethebestwaytotake
responsibilityforyourself.Theyhelpyoumakedecisionsinyoureverydaylife.Values
groundyouprovidingdirectionfordecisionmakinginambiguoussituations.Because
Iminbusinessformyself,Ihavetwosetsofvaluesonesetguidesmypersonallife;
theother,myprofessionallife.Theyarecomplementary,buthaveslightlydifferent
foci.

Mypersonalvaluesare

Alwaysdomybest.
Treatallpeoplewiththerespectanddignitytheydeserveasfellowhuman
beings.
HelpotherswhereverandwheneverIcanwithnostringsattached.
Usemycommonsense.
Beasupportiveandlovinghusband.

Mybusinessvaluesare

Ibelievewetoooftenmakethingsmorecomplexthantheyreallyare.Ihelpmy
clientssimplifythecomplex,anddevelopandimplementcommonsense
solutionstotheirproblemsandissues.
Ibelieveinhumanpotential.Iassistmyclientorganizationsandtheindividuals
inthemtouseappliedcommonsensetoachievetheirfullpotential.
Myclientspayapremiumformyservices.Therefore,Iprovidethemwith
extraordinaryvalueaddedservicesinordertojustifytheirfaithinme.
Myclientstrustme.Theyopenlydiscusstheirhopes,fears,problemsand
opportunitieswithme.Thistrustissacred.Iwillnotviolateit.
Allofmycustomersareunique.Ihonorthisuniqueness.Idontsellonesize
fitsallconsulting,coachingorspeakingservices.Iamdiligentaboutgaininga
completeunderstandingofeachclientsuniqueneedsbeforeIsuggestacourse
ofaction.

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Iusethesevaluesasaguideformydaytodayliving.Idomybesttoconductmyselfin
amannerthatisconsistentwiththem.Severalmonthsago,IdidablogpostinwhichI
mentionedanargumentIhadwithmydad.Iletmyselfgetangryoveratrivialmatter.
AfterIcalmeddown,Icalledmydadtoapologize.Ididthisbecauseoneofmypersonal
valuesis,Treatallpeoplewiththerespectanddignitytheydeserveasfellowhuman
beings.

Byraisingmyvoiceandarguing,Iwasnotconductingmyselfinaccordancewithoneof
mypersonalvaluessoIhadtodosomething(apologize)torectifythesituation.This
valueoftreatingpeoplewithrespectanddignityissoingrainedinmethatIhada
feelingofuneaseforthetwodaysittookmetoapologizeforlosingmytemper.

Thatsthewayvalueswork.Theybecomesomuchapartofyouthatwhenyouactina
mannerinconsistentwiththem,youfeelalittleoffanduncomfortable.Thisdiscomfort
ledmetodowhatIneededtodotofixtheproblemIhadcreated.

JustlastweekIhadanexperiencethatgetsatwhatImtalkingabouthere.Isentan
emailtoagroupofpeoplewithwhomIhaveanaffinityaskingiftheywouldliketojoin
measajointventurepartner.Severalsaidyes.Ireceivedaresponsefromone
personthatwasanemailwithasubjectlinethatsaidREMOVE.Therewasnobodyin
thetext.

IsentthispersonaveryniceemailinwhichIapologizedforbotheringher,assuredher
thatIwouldnotcontactheragainandattachedoneofmyeBooksasasignofgoodwill.
Ireceivedarathercondescendingresponsetothesecondemailofferingmecoaching
onemailetiquette.Wetradedtwomoreemailsdiscussingthisissue.

Ifinallyfiguredoutthatthispersonhadastrongneedtohavethelastwordinthis
correspondence.Ichosetoterminatetheconversationandletherhavethelastword.
Bylettingherhavethelastword,IwasfollowingthecareeradviceinTweet136.
Choosetoactinacivil,constructivemannerintensesituations.

IstillthinkthatIwastheaggrievedpartyinthissituation,butinthelongrunitdoesnt
matter.Itookresponsibilityfornotextendingaconflictsituationthatwasoflittleorno
importancebylettingtheotherpersonhavethelastwordsomethingthatseemed
importanttoher.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeopleare
clearaboutwhattheywantoutoftheirlivesandcareers.Theydefinewhatsuccess

378
meanstothem,personally.Theycreateavividmentalimageoftheirsuccess.Andthey
developasetofpersonalvaluesthatguidestheirdaytodaylife.Theyfollowthecareer
adviceinTweet136inSuccessTweets.Beresponsibleforyourself.Noonecanmake
youangry.Choosetoactinacivil,constructivemannerintensesituations.Your
valuesareguidestodecisionmakinginambiguoussituations.Theyprovideyouwith
theguidanceyouneedasyougothroughlife.Takeafewminutestothinkaboutwhats
importanttoyou.Writeitdown.Thenliveyourlifebythesevalues.Youllbeonyour
waytoasuccessfullifeandcareer.

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Doyourjob;givecredittoothersfordoingtheirs.Everyonelikestoworkwithpeople
whosharethecreditforajobwelldone.

AsIwassearchingthenetforsomeinspirationonwhattowriteaboutinthistweet,I
cameacrossapiecebySusanHeathfieldonAbout.comcalled,PlayWellWithOthersat
Work.Successful,interpersonallycompetentpeopleareabletobuildstrong
relationshipswiththepeoplewithwhomtheyworkthisinvolvesbothworkingand
playingwellwithothersatwork.HereisaneditedversionofwhatMs.Heathfieldhas
tosayaboutplayingwellwithothersatwork.

Thesearethetopsevenwaysyoucanplaywellwithothersatwork.Theyformthe
basisforeffectiveworkrelationships.Thesearetheactionsyouwanttotaketocreatea
positive,empowering,motivationalworkenvironmentforpeople.

Suggestsolutionstotheproblemsyouidentifyandraise.Identifyingproblemsis
easy.Peoplewhoprovidethoughtfulsolutionstotheproblemsandchallenges
theyraiseearntherespectandadmirationoftheircoworkersandbosses.
Donteverplaytheblamegame.Youalienateeveryonearoundyou.Yes,you
mayneedtoidentifywhowasinvolvedinaproblem.Youmayevenaskthe
Demingquestion:whatabouttheworksystemcausedthisfailure?But,not
takingresponsibilityforproblemsyoucreateandpubliclyidentifyingand
blamingothersforfailurescreatesenemies.Theseenemieswill,inturn,help
youtofail.Interpersonallycompetentpeoplerealizethattheyneedalliesat
work.
Whatyousayandwhatyoudomatters.Whenyoutalkdowntosomeone,use
sarcasm,orsoundnasty,otherpeoplearelikelytohearyou.Weareallradar
machinesthatconstantlyscopeoutourenvironment.Inoneorganizationahigh
levelmanagersaidtome,"IknowyoudontthinkIshouldscreamatmy
employees.But,sometimes,theymakemesomad.Whenisitappropriatefor
metoscreamattheemployees?"Answer?Never.Thisgoesforpeoplewho
arentinleadershippositionstoo.Itsneverappropriatetoraiseyourvoicetoa
colleagueorcoworker.
Neverblindsidepeople.Interpersonallycompetentpeoplekeeptheir
colleaguesintheloop.Theydiscussproblemswiththepeopledirectlyinvolved
beforediscussingthemwithothers.Interpersonallycompetentpeopledonot

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 ambushothers.Theyknowthatiftheydo,theywillneverbuildeffectivework
alliances.Andwithoutalliances,youneveraccomplishthemostimportant
goals.
Keepyourcommitments.Whenyoufailtomeetdeadlinesandcommitments,
youaffecttheworkofotherpeople.Alwayskeepcommitments,andifyou
cant,makesuretheaffectedpeopleknowwhathappened.Provideanewdue
dateandhonorthenewdeadline.
Sharecreditforaccomplishments,ideas,andcontributions.Itsveryrareto
accomplishagoalorcompleteaprojectwithnohelpfromothers.Takethe
time,andexpendtheenergy,tothank,reward,recognizeandspecify
contributionsofthepeoplewhohelpyousucceed.Thisisanofailapproachto
buildingeffectiveworkrelationships.
Helpotherpeoplefindtheirgreatness.Everypersonhastalents,skills,and
experience.Ifyouhelppeopleharnesstheirbestabilities,youbenefitthemand
yourorganizationimmeasurably.Personalgrowthanddevelopmentbenefits
everybody.Compliment,recognize,praise,andnoticecontributions.Youdont
havetobeamanagertohelpcreateapositive,motivatingenvironment.

Ifyoucarryoutthesesevenactionsregularlyespeciallynumber6,Sharecreditfor
accomplishments,ideasandcontributions,youwillbecomeknownassomeonewho
playswellwithothers.And,youlldevelopeffectiveworkrelationships.Youllbecome
interpersonallycompetent.Colleagueswillvalueyou.Bosseswillbelieveyouarea
teamplayer.Youllaccomplishyourworkgoals,andyoumayevenexperiencefun,
recognition,andpersonalmotivation.Workcantgetanybetterthanthat.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachadvicehereissimple.Successfulpeoplefollow
thecareeradviceinTweet137inSuccessTweets.Doyourjob;givecredittoothersfor
doingtheirs.Everyonelikestoworkwithpeoplewhosharethecreditforajobwell
done.PayattentiontoSusanHeathfieldsadvicewhenshesays,Sharecreditfor
accomplishments,ideas,andcontributions.Itsveryraretoaccomplishagoalor
completeaprojectwithnohelpfromothers.Takethetime,andexpendtheenergy,to
thank,reward,recognizeandspecifycontributionsofthepeoplewhohelpyousucceed.
Thisisanofailapproachtobuildingeffectiveworkrelationships.Ifyoufollowthis
careeradvice,youllbeonyourwaytonotonlybuildingstrongworkrelationships,but
tothelifeandcareersuccessyoudeserve.

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Succe ssTweet 138

Weallmakemistakes.Ownuptoyours.Youllbecomeknownasastraightshooter,
honestwithyourselfandothers.

Forthispost,Idliketoreturntooneofmyfavoritedocuments:TheOptimistCreed.If
youwouldlikeacopyofTheOptimistCreedsuitableforframing,pleasegoto
http://budbilanich.com/optimist.

TheOptimistCreed

PromiseYourself:

Tobesostrongthatnothingcandisturbyourpeaceofmind.

Totalkhealth,happinessandprosperitytoeverypersonyoumeet.

Tomakeallyourfriendsfeelthatthereissomethinginthem.

Tolookatthesunnysideofeverythingandmakeyouroptimismcometrue.

Tothinkonlyofthebest,toworkonlyforthebest,andtoexpectonlythebest.

Tobejustasenthusiasticaboutthesuccessofothersasyouareaboutyourown.

Toforgetthemistakesofthepastandpressontothegreaterachievementsofthe
future.

Towearacheerfulcountenanceatalltimesandgiveeverylivingcreatureyoumeeta
smile.

Togivesomuchtimetotheimprovementofyourselfthatyouhavenotimetocriticize
others.

Tobetoolargeforworry,toonobleforanger,toostrongforfear,andtoohappyto
permitthepresenceoftrouble.

382
Inthispost,Idliketodelveintotheseventhpoint:Promiseyourselftoforgetthe
mistakesofthepastandpressontothegreaterachievementsofthefuture.

LetsbeginwithaquotefromAnnLanders:

IfIwereaskedtogivewhatIconsidertobethesinglemostusefulbitofadvice
forallhumanity,itwouldbethis:expecttroubleasaninevitablepartoflifeand
whenitcomes,holdyourheadhigh,lookitsquarelyintheeye,andsayIwillbe
biggerthanyou.Youcannotdefeatme.

IlikewhatAnnLandershastosayherebecauseitisabitofarealitycheck.Shesright,
troubleandsetbacksandfailureareaninevitablepartoflife.Selfconfidentpeople
looktroublesquarelyintheeyeandmoveforward.Theyarenotcowedbytheir
failures,rathertheyembracethemandusethemtomovetowardstheirgoals.They
alsoownuptotheirmistakes.Inthisway,theybecomewidelytrusted.Andtrustisthe
gluethatholdstogetherallrelationships.

Ifyoureadthisblogsomewhatregularly,youprobablyknowthatIamabigtennisfan.
Acoupleofyearsago,IsawtwogreatmatchesatTheAustralianOpen,thefirstmajor
tennistournamentoftheyear.

JamesBlake,oneofthetwobestAmericanmentennisplayersatthetime,wonagreat
fivesetmatchonFridaynight.HelostthefirsttwosetstoSebastienGrosjean.Thenhe
wonthenextthreetowinthebestoffivesetmatch.Hewasdownfourgamestoone
inthefourthset,butwoninatiebreak.Hewasgritty.

ToputitintermsofTheOptimistCreed,JamesBlakewasabletoforgetthemistakesof
thepastandpressontothegreaterachievementsofthefuture.Inthiscase,thepast
wasthefirsttwosetsofthematch.Also,towin,JamesBlakehadtohonestlyevaluate
hisplayinthosefirsttwosetsandmakesomechanges.

RogerFederer,ontheotherhand,wasthebestplayerintheworldatthattime.Hestill
isverygood.HehadaterriblematchagainstJankoTipsareviconSaturdayafternoonof
thatAustralianOpen.Hemade64unforcederrorsandlost16of21breakpoints.Ifyou
followtennis,youknowthatthisisarecipeforlosing.

However,Mr.Federerwonthematchinfivesets.Afterwardshesaid,He(Mr.
Tipsarevic)wasjustgoingforhisshotsandkeptmakingthem.Intheend,Ijusttriedto

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blockoutallthechancesImissed.TheOptimistCreedshowsupagain.Byblockingout
allthechancesImissed,Mr.Federerwasabletowinthematch.

IbelievethatJamesBlakeandRogerFedererwonthesematchesbecauseoftheirself
confidence,theiroptimism,andasAnnLanderssays,theirabilitytolookit(trouble)
squarelyintheeye,andsayIwillbebiggerthanyou.Youcannotdefeatme.They
alsoowneduptotheirmistakesandmadethechangesintheirgamesthattheyneeded
todotowintheirmatches.Bytheway,LleytonHewittdidthesamethinginhisfiveset
matchagainstMarcosBaghdatis.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Followthecareeradvice
inTweet138inSuccessTweets.Weallmakemistakes.Ownuptoyours.Youll
becomeknownasastraightshooter,honestwithyourselfandothers.Successful,self
confidentpeoplerealizethatmistakesarepartoflife.Theylearnfromtheirmistakes
andthenbuildonthisknowledgetocreatetheirownsuccess.Owninguptoyour
mistakesisgreatcareeradvice.First,youhavetoownuptothemprivately.Thisisthe
onlywaytogetpastthemandmoveforwardtocareersuccess.Second,youhaveto
ownuptoyourmistakespublicly.Admitthemtoyourcolleaguesandcoworkers.Take
responsibilitywhenyouletdownothers.Youllbuildstrongrelationshipsbybeing
forthright.

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Succe ssTweet 139

Becomewidelytrusted.Deliveronwhatyousayyoulldo.Ifyoucantmeeta
commitment,lettheotherpersonknowrightaway.

Thecareeradviceinthistweetisanobrainer.YetImconstantlysurprisedbyhow
manypeoplemissdeadlinesanddontkeepcommitmentsandneverbotherto
mentionit.Almostalloftheworkthatyoudohasanimpactonotherpeople.Your
outputisoftentheinputtheyneedtogettheirworkdone.

Youcanbuildyourcareersuccesssimplybydoingwhatyousayyoulldo.Ihavefound
thatthisbitofcareeradviceisoverlookedwaytoooften.Toomanypeoplefeel
comfortablemissingdeadlines.Worseyet,theydontevenmentionthattheyllbelate
topeoplewhoarewaitingfortheirwork.

Imabigbelieverintakingpersonalresponsibilityforyourlifeandcareersuccess.I
alwaystellmycareersuccesscoachclientsthatsaying,Imlateonmyprojectbecause
JoeorSuedidntgetmetheinformationIneededdoesntcutit.Itellthemtoseek
outtheinformationtheyneedandgetitsotheycanfinishtheirprojectontime.

Ontheotherhand,ItellthemthattheyhavearesponsibilitytoJoeorSueoranybody
whoiswaitingfortheirworktogetittothemontime.Andiftheyaregoingtomissa
deadline,letJoeorSueknowassoonaspossiblesotheycanadjusttheirworkplanning.
Thisisnotonlycommoncourtesy,itsgoodbusinessandcareersuccessadvice.

Whenyoumeetyourcommitmentsconsistentlyorletothersknowwhenyouare
goingtobeunabletodosoyougainareputationassomeonewhocanbetrusted.
AndasIvementionedinapreviouspost,trustisthegluethatbindsrelationships.

IhavebuiltmyconsultingandcareersuccesscoachbusinessbydoingwhatIsayIlldo.I
trytogobeyondwhatIpromise,tooverdeliver.Inthisway,Ihavebuiltsomeclient
relationshipsthathaveexceeded20years.Thesepeoplehiremeagainandagain.And
theyrefermetotheirfriendsandcolleaguesallbecauseIdowhatIsayIlldo.

IonceflewallnightfromSeattletoDetroittodoaworkshop.Imadeawrongnotation
inmycalendarandendeduphavingtobeinSeattleuntil6:00oneday,andinDetroitto

385
doaworkshopat10:00thenextday.WhenItoldoneofmyfriendsabouttheproblem
Ihadcreatedformyself,hesuggestedIcanceloneoftheengagements.Icouldntdo
that;bothwerepartoflargerprogramsthathadbeenscheduledmonthsinadvanceby
myclients.Icouldntletthemdown.Alittlelostsleepwasasmallpricetopayfor
keepingmyreputationasaguywhokeepshiscommitmentsintact.

Thisblogdemonstratesmycommitmenttokeepingmycommitments.Twentyseven
weeksandfourdaysagoIwrotethefirstpostinthisseries.Inthatpost,IsaidthatI
wouldwriteaseriesofpoststhatfurtherexplaintheideasineachtweetinSuccess
Tweets.Icommittedtowritingfivepostsaweek.Ivedonethat.NextMonday,Iwill
postaboutSuccessTweet141.Ivepostedeveryday,MondaythroughFriday,for28
weeks.IvepostedwhenIvebeenworkingfrommyhomeoffice,whenIvebeen
travelingforbusiness,andwhenIvebeenonvacation.IdidthisbecauseIcommitted
todoingittomyself,andtoreadersofthisblog.ItakethecareeradviceinSuccess
Tweet139seriously.Isuggestthatyoudotoo.

Finally,thesubtitleofSuccessTweetsis140bitsofCommonSenseCareerSuccess
Advice,Allin140CharactersorLess.Ifyouvedownloadedthebook,youveprobably
noticedthatithas141tweets.IdidthisonpurposetooverdeliveronthepromiseI
makeonthefrontcover.Thisisasmall,sillyeven,exampleofhowIgooutofmyway
tomakesurethatpeopleseemeassomeonewhokeepshiscommitments.Whatare
someofthesmallthingsyoudotodemonstratethatyouaresomeonewhokeeps
commitmentsandcanbetrusted?

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Ifyouwanttobecomea
lifeandcareersuccessyouhavetobuildareputationassomeonewhocanbetrusted.
FollowthecareeradviceinTweet139inSuccessTweets.Becomewidelytrusted.
Deliveronwhatyousayyoulldo.Ifyoucantmeetacommitment,lettheotherperson
knowrightaway.Ivebuiltathrivingbusinessbyfollowingthiscareeradvice.Andyou
cancreatethelifeandcareersuccessyouwantbyfollowingit.Ithinkitgoeswithout
sayingthatwhileitisimportanttoletotherpeopleknowwhenyouwillbemissinga
deadlineorcantkeepacommitment,itismoreimportanttodowhateveryoumustdo
tomakedeadlinesandkeepyourcommitments.Thiscaninconvenienceyouattimes,
butitisgreatcareeradvicethatwillpayoffinthelongrun.

386
Succe ssTweet 140

Socialnetworksallowyoutohelpothers.Givevalue,andyoullbeabletobuildsome
greatonlinerelationships.

Inthispost,IdliketofocusonbuildingrelationshipsontheInternet.TheInternetgives
youtheopportunitytomaintainrelationshipswithpeopleyouknowwell,strengthen
relationshipswithpeopleyouknowonlyalittleandbuildnewrelationshipswithpeople
whocanhelpyoucreatethesuccessfullifeandcareeryouwantanddeserve.

IbelievethatLinkedInisthebestsocialnetworkforprofessionals.Facebook,Plaxoand
TwitterareOKtoo.Regardlessofthesocialnetworkyouchoose,therearesome
commonsensepointsyoushouldfollowifyouwanttobuildsolidrelationships.While
thesepointsfocusprimarilyonLinkedIn,therearesimilarfunctionsonjustaboutevery
socialnetwork.

Yourprofileistheplacetobegin.Itcanhelpyoubuildyourbrand.Agoodprofilewill
attractothers,educatethemaboutyouandinfluencetheirfeelingstowardsyoueven
ifyouvenevermetinperson.Expertssaythatyouhavethreesecondstocommunicate
yourbrandonyourLinkedInprofile.Makethosesecondscount.

MyprofessionaldescriptiononLinkedInusedtoreadBudBilanich,TheCommonSense
Guy.Nowitreads,BudBilanich:Ihelpindividuals,teamsandentireorganizations
succeedbyhelpingthemapplytheircommonsense.Idontknowaboutyou,butI
thinkthatthesecondprofessionaldescriptionismuchstronger,communicatesbetter
andmakesthemostoutofmythreeseconds.

Youcanleverageyoursocialnetworkprofilesinseveralways.Inviteeveryoneyouknow
toconnectwithyou.Mostsocialnetworkingsiteshaveareconnectfunction.Useit.
LinkedIncallsthisthecolleaguesandclassmatesreconnectfunction.Itcanbealotof
funtoreconnectwithpeopleyouusedtoknow.IfyouuseMicrosoftOutlook,
downloadtheOutlooktoolbar.ItwillletyouknowtheLinkedInstatusofeveryonefrom
whomyoureceiveanemail.AskyourexistingLinkedInconnectionstointroduceyouto
theirconnections.Inthisway,youcanbuildalargenetworkofpeoplewhowillbe
exposedtoyourbrand.

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TheLinkedInWhatyouareworkingonnowfunctioncanhelpbuildyourbrand.
Updateitregularly.Postalloftheinterestingthingsyouaredoingatworkandinyour
life.Thiswillhelpothersgettoknowyoubetteranditwillshowcasethedepthand
breadthofyourexperience.Thinkofitasalongertweet.Twitterlimitsyouto140
charactersperpost.Hereyoucanpostthreeorfoursentencesandgointoalittlemore
detail.And,justlikeTwitter,peoplecanrespondtoyourLinkedInWhatyouare
workingonnowposts.Thiscreatestheopportunityforyoutoengageindialoguewith
thepeopleyoumeetonLinkedIn,strengtheningyourrelationships.

LinkedInGroupsareanotherpowerfulwaytoleveragethepowerofLinkedIn.Youcan
findgroupstojoinbyseeingwhichgroupspeoplewithinterestssimilartoyourown
join.YoucanusetheLinkedInsearchtoolforthis.Startslowly,joinnomorethanthree
groupsatfirst.Spendsometimeinthesegroups.Seeiftheyappealtoyou.Iftheydo,
becomeactivebyparticipatinginconversations;sharingyourthoughtsandideasand
linksthatyoufindhelpful.Ifyoudontlikeagroup,dropoutandfindanother.
Participatingingroupscanbetimeconsuming.Setyourdefaulttoreceiveemailsfrom
groupsonceaweek.Thensetasideaspecificperiodeachweektoreadtherecentpost
andreplytotherelevantones.

Remember,thecareeradvicehereistobuildonlinerelationshipsthesamewayyou
buildinpersonrelationships.Givewithnoexpectationofreturn.Establishyourselfasa
personofvaluefirstsomeonewhonotonlyhassomethingtogive,butsomeonewho
iswillingtohelpothers.Inthisway,whenthetimecomes,youllbeinagreatposition
toaskforthehelpyouneedincreatingyourlifeandcareersuccess.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Successfulpeoplefollow
thecareeradviceinTweet140inSuccessTweets.Socialnetworksallowyoutohelp
others.Givevalue,andyoullbeabletobuildsomegreatonlinerelationships.Build
strong,lastingmutuallybeneficialrelationshipsinpersonandonline.Whilethereis
nosubstituteforfacetofaceinteractionwhenitcomestobuildingrelationships,the
Internethasopenedupalotofopportunitiestoreconnectwitholdfriendsandtomake
newones.Formymoney,LinkedInisthebestsocialnetworkforprofessionals.
However,Facebook,PlaxoandTwitteraregoodtoo.Offeringsomethingofvalueisthe
bestwaytogetpeopletobefriendyouonsocialnetworkingsites.Thiscanbeassimple
asretweetingaTwitterpostyoufoundinteresting.Or,youcanofferadviceby
answeringquestionspeoplepostsinforums.Theideaistooffervaluenothype
yourself.KeepinmindtheZigZiglarquote,Youwillgetwhatyouwantinlifeifyou
helpenoughotherpeoplegetwhattheywant.Socialnetworksallowyoutohelp
othersgetwhattheywant.Sogivevalueandyoullfindthatyoullbeabletobuild

388
somegreatonlinerelationshipsthatwillhelpyoucreatethelifeandcareersuccessyou
wantanddeserve.

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Knowingisnotenough.Successfulpeoplewillreadtheadviceinthesetweets.And
theywillactonit.Beasuccessfulperson.

Muchofthecareeradviceinthisbookfocusesontakingpersonalresponsibilityforyour
lifeandcareersuccess.Iwanttorevisitthatideahere.Personalresponsibilitymeans
usingthismaterialonceyoulearnit.IwroteSuccessTweetsandthesecareeradvice
blogpoststoprovideyouwithusefulinformationandknowledgeonbecomingasuccess
inyourcareerandlife.But,astheU.S.SteelpencilsmyDadbroughthomefromwork
usedtosay,Knowingisnotenough.

WhenIwasakid,Iwasreallyfascinatedandpuzzledbythesepencils.Knowingisnot
enoughwhatthehelldoesthatmean?Iusedtothink.Ispenthoursstrugglingwith
thatidea.Iwastoostubborntoaskagrownup.

WhenIgottoPennState,ItookPhilosophy101myfreshmanyear.Wehadtoread
JohannvonGoethe.Oneday,asIwasplowingthroughanassignment,Icameacross
thisquote:Knowingisnotenough,wemustdo.Willingisnotenough,wemustapply.

Boy,wasIgladItookthatcourse!Itsolvedoneoftheprofoundmysteriesofmy
childhood:Knowingisnotenough.Youhavetotakewhatyoulearnanduseit,or
whatyouvelearnedisntveryvaluable.Thatspartofpersonalresponsibility,anda
hugepartofcreatingthelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.

Ivetriedtopresentthismaterialinsuchamannerthatitprovidesyouwithsomeideas
ofwhattodotobecomeasuccessinyourlifeandcareer.Itsuptoyoutothinkabout
whatshereanddecideifandhowyouaregoingtouseit.

AMessagetoGarciaisoneofthebestknownwritingsontheideaofpersonal
responsibility.Itisaninspirationalessaywrittenin1899byElbertHubbardthathas
beenmadeintotwomovies,reprintedasapamphletandabook,translatedinto37
languages,andwaswellknowninAmericanpopularandbusinesscultureuntilthe
middleofthetwentiethcentury.Itwasoriginallypublishedasafillerwithoutatitlein
theMarch1899issueofPhilistinemagazine.

390
AMessagetoGarciacelebratestheinitiativeofasoldierwhowasassignedand
accomplishedadauntingmission.Heaskednoquestions,madenoobjections,
requestednohelp,andaccomplishedthemission.ThesoldierwasAndrewSummers
Rowan,aclassof1881WestPointgraduate.

Theessaysuggeststhatthereadershouldapplythisattitudetohisorherownlifeasan
avenuetosuccess.Itswidepopularityatthetimewasreflectiveofthegeneralappeal
ofselfrelianceandenergeticproblemsolvinginAmericanculture.Itsdon'task
questions,getthejobdonemessagewasoftenusedbybusinessleadersasa
motivationalmessagetotheiremployees.ItwasgiventoeveryUnitedStatesSailorand
MarineinbothWorldWarsandwasoftenmemorizedbyschoolchildren.

TheessayisaboutaneventintheSpanishAmericanWarin1898.AstheAmerican
armypreparedtoinvadetheSpanishcolonyofCuba,theyneededtocontacttheleader
oftheCubaninsurgents(theinsurgentswereonoursideinthatwar),CalixtoIniguez
Garcia.GarciahadbeenfightingtheSpanishforCubanindependencesince1868and
soughtthehelpoftheUnitedStates.

HerearesomeselectedexcerptsfromAMessagetoGarcia:

InallthisCubanbusinessthereisonemanwhostandsoutonthe
horizonofmymemorylikeMarsatperihelion.Whenwarbrokeout
betweenSpainandtheUnitedStates,itwasverynecessaryto
communicatequicklywiththeleaderoftheInsurgents.Garciawas
somewhereinthemountainfastnessesofCubanooneknewwhere.
Nomailortelegraphcouldreachhim.ThePresidentmustsecurehisco
operation,andquickly.

Whattodo!

SomeonesaidtothePresident,ThereisafellowbythenameofRowan
whowillfindGarciaforyou,ifanybodycan.

RowanwassentforandgivenalettertobedeliveredtoGarcia

McKinleygaveRowanalettertobedeliveredtoGarcia;Rowantookthe
letteranddidnotask,Whereishe?

391
 BytheEternal!Thereisamanwhoseformshouldbecastindeathless
bronzeandthestatueplacedineverycollegeoftheland.Itisnotbook
learningyoungmenneed,norinstructionaboutthisorthat,buta
stiffeningofthevertebraewhichwillcausethemtobeloyaltoatrust,to
actpromptly,concentratetheirenergies:dothethingCarryamessage
toGarcia

Knowingisnotenough.Youhavetodo.Weallhavetodo.BelikeRowan.
TreatallofyourtasksasamessagetoGarcia.Ifyouwouldliketohavethefull
textofAMessagetoGarcia,gotohttp://BudBilanich.com/garcia.

Iveenjoyedwritingtheseposts.Itwasfuntolookbackonmycareerandtodistillthe
nuggetsthathavebecomemypersonalrulesforsuccessintoaseriesoftweets.Itwas
evenmorefuntowritethisseriesofblogpostsdelvingdeeperintoeachtweet.

ButyoushouldrememberthatthesetweetsareideasthatIhavefoundhelpfulinmy
personaljourneytoprofessionalsuccess.Onesizedoesnotfitall.Change,adapt,
discardideasthatdontworkforyou.Addnewideasthatyoufindhelpful,orthat
youvelearnedinotherplaces.

IamusingSuccessTweetandtheSuccessTweetsblogtostartacommunityofsuccess
seekersoneinwhichwefreelyexchangeideas,helpingoneanothertolearn,grow
andsucceed.Iwillbelaunchingacombinationmembershipsiteandgroupcoaching
siteverysoon.Ihopetomakeitintoalivelycommunity.Ittakesmorethanoneperson
tocreateacommunitythough,thatswhyIhopeyouwilljoinandactivelyparticipateon
theblog.

WhileIwillencourageopendiscussionofideasonthecoachingcalls,youcanemailme
atBud@BudBilanich.comifyouhaveanycareeradvicequestionsyouwouldlikemeto
answerinprivate.

Iamofferingafree30minutecoachingsession.Ifyouareinterestedintakingmeupon
thisoffer,sendanemailtoBud@Bilanich.comwiththewordsfreecoachingsessionin
thesubjectline.Sendyourphonenumberandafewgoodtimestocallyou.

Thecommonsensecareersuccesscoachpointhereissimple.Followthecareeradvice
inTweet141inSuccessTweets.Knowingisnotenough.Successfulpeoplewillread

392
theadviceinthesetweets.Andtheywillactonit.Beasuccessfulperson.Ireally
wantyoutosucceed,andIwanttohelpyousucceedinanywayIcan.Pleasekeep
readingmydailyblogpostsatwww.BudBilanich.com.Commentwhenyouhave
somethingtoadd.Askquestionsforclarification.Iwishyoutheverybestincreating
thelifeandcareersuccessyouwantanddeserve.

393
 $39.95

Everything you need to know to create the life

and career success you want and deserve;
and then some.

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