Spencer Michaels - The AoW For Dating

The Art Of War For Dating
How To Conquer Any Woman, Anytime, Anywhere
By Spencer Michaels
2007, All Rights Reserved
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Table of Contents
Part 1: How Women Work

Chapter 1: How Women Think .......................................... 07
Chapter 2: Its In Her Genes! ........................................... 11
Part 2: How To Be The Guy You Need To Be To

Attract Women
Chapter 3: Confidence ...................................................... 17
Chapter 4: Be Intriguing .................................................... 32
Chapter 5: No More Mr. Nice Guy! ..................... 38
Chapter 6: Cockiness Done Right ..................................... 58
Part 3: The Approach and The Art Of

Conversation
Chapter 7: Mentally Preparing For The Approach ............ 63
Chapter 8: The Actual Approach ....................................... 68
Chapter 9: The Art Of Conversation .................................. 76
Part 4: Unstoppable Techniques For Attracting

Women
Chapter 10: Specific Techniques To Be Used In Battle ........ 92
Chapter 11: Mistakes Guys Make With Women ................ 110
Part 5: Body Language and Voice

Chapter 12: Secrets Of Body Language .................. 122
Chapter 13: Voice ................ 132
Part 6: Romance and Style

Chapter 14: Romance Done Right ................ 138
Chapter 15: Style .................................................................... 140
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels 2007, All Rights Reserved
Also check out MindControlHer.com
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Introduction
In his famous book, The Art of War, Sun Tzu spoke about using
resourcefulness, momentum, cunning, flexibility, integrity, secrecy,
speed, positioning, surprise, deception and manipulation to defeat an
opponent. He used phrases like, Lure them in with the prospect of
gain, take them by confusion" and "Invincibility is in oneself,
vulnerability is in the opponent." In this book I will teach you to take
on a totally new, almost war-like mindset in order to show you how to
meet and attract any woman, anywhere, at any time. By the time you
finish reading this book you will immediately be able to utilize an
arsenal of proven methods and techniques for conquering beautiful
women.
The past does not equal the future. Take this statement and embed it
in your mind. The record of what has been has nothing to do with
what you can accomplish in the future. At this very moment you can
decide to be the person you want to be and design and entirely new
life for yourself. While we need to leave the past in the past, we need
to learn from it so that we dont keep making the same mistakes.
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Meeting and attracting beautiful women is an art. Its not random at
all. There are rules and proven methods which Ill teach you in this
book. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over
again and expecting different results. Thats right If you are trying to
meet women the same way youve always been and expect that
sooner or later they will start responding to these same methods
YOU ARE INSANE!
Why Listen To Me?
Heres a little background on me and some reasons why you should
take my advice. I wasnt the dorky guy who never got girls and then
all of a sudden read a bunch of stuff and started getting tons of
women. I was always pretty good with women but still made tons of
mistakes that most guys make with them. I got my degree in
Psychology from a major university which taught me a lot about
human desires, but that was nothing compared to the education I got
while promoting and managing nightclubs in New York City for 8
years. For years, I spent at least 5 nights a week at the hottest
nightclubs in New York City surrounded by the hottest and most
attitude infused women in the world. In my early twenties I developed
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an extreme desire to really understand the dynamics between men
and women and became infatuated with learning about what makes
women tick. So for years, Ive researched and read every book and
studied every program there is about relationships and attracting
women. Ive read literally thousands of books on the topic. Since
then Ive spent my years coaching guys around the country on how to
attract and meet women. Ive taken what Ive learned from the books
and research and combined it with my first hand experience in the
nightclubs of New York City to bring you the best, no-nonsense
information on the topic.
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Part 1: How Women Work
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Chapter 1: How Women Think

Women Dont Know What They Want
Do you find yourself listening to the advice of female friends about
how to attract women and often find that it doesnt work? I did for
years. I even made the ultimate mistake of asking girls I was dating
how I should act. Many guys have the mentality that if they want to
learn about what women want, they should ask women. It seems
logical enough but it doesnt work for one major reason Women
dont know what they want! Its a sad reality that very few women will
actually admit to you. A womans emotions are all over the place
because of hormones and thousands of years of genetic coding. She
is constantly battling whether to follow primal urges or to listen to
advice from womens magazines or friends, or her conscience. One
day she might be in the mood for a sensitive guy, the next a funny
guy, then a week later shes in the mood for a musician type. One
day she wants a guy whos domineering and the next a sweet
sensitive guy who gives her all the space in the world.
To prove this, all we need to do is look at the book "Blink" written by
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Malcolm Gladwell. In the book he examines what he calls "The power
of thinking without thinking". The concept is that the reasons that we
SAY we do things are often very different than the reasons we
actually do them. Gladwell talks about a study done by two Columbia
University professors who set up speed dating events in New York
City. The men at the events were given 6 minutes to talk to eight
different women to see if there was an attraction there. After meeting
everyone in the room, the men and women were given a secret ballot
to check off which people they were interested in. If both people
checked off each other, they were given each others' email
addresses. The professors asked all of the women to fill out a
questionnaire before each speed dating event, after the event, one
month later and six months later. The questionnaire asked the
women to rate what they were looking for in a mate on a scale of 1 to
10. The categories are: Attractiveness, shared Interests, sense of
humor, sincerity, intelligence and ambition. After each 6 minute date,
they were also asked to rate the person they just dated on the same
scale. After repeating this "experiment" an innumerous amount of
times what the professors found was astounding. The questionnaire
that the women filled out about what they were looking for in a mate
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and the guys that they actually selected had absolutely no correlation.
In fact, what they said they wanted in a man and the men they
choose were often completely opposite. Another amazing observation
made by the professors was that the women's ranking order of what
they were looking for often changed the day after the event. They
found that if a woman met a few guys that she liked who were more
"attractive and funny" than "sincere and intelligent", the next day
when she filled out the same questionnaire, her preference order
would completely change. She'd all of a sudden rank attractive and
funny higher than sincere and intelligent. After doing this experiment
with thousands of women, this pattern held true in almost all cases!
Another thing that happened in almost all of these cases was that
when filling out the same questionnaire one month later they'd go
back to the original answers they had chosen the first day they filled
the questionnaire out.
This doesn't necessarily mean that women have no idea what they
want, it's just incomplete. This is where you step in with your
confidence and technique to "complete" it. The description that she
starts with of her ideal mate is her conscious ideal. But much of this
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goes out the window when subconscious thought, feelings and
genetic programming kick in. This is why you need to take what a
woman says about what she wants in a man with a grain of salt.
Never assume that you're not her type, even if she says it. YOU can
easily become the type of man she wants.
Throw Logic Out the Window
I'm about to tell about a mistake that 99% of guys (who haven't read
this book) make when trying to get a woman to like them. They try to
use logic to appeal to women. They try to reason their way into to her
pants. This will NEVER work. Why? Because women work very
differently then men. The sooner you understand and accept that the
better off youll be. Women are not creatures of logic - they are
creatures of FEELING. They don't use their brains to feel attraction
and most men spend the majority of their time trying to appeal to her
brain instead of making her feel. You can never convince a woman to
have feelings for you if she doesn't. Watching a guy try to convince a
girl to like him can be fun to watch. Itll never work because women
are genetically programmed to use feeling, not logic, as their primary
gauge of attraction.
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Chapter 2: Its In Her Genes!

Genetic Programming
Whether we want to admit it or not, human beings are to a large
degree victims of our genetic programming. No matter what a woman
says or how civilized, cultured or progressive she tries to be, she has
very specific evolutionary characteristics that shes attracted to. This
is great news for us because all we have to do is embrace those
characteristics and well have women falling all over us. A major
character trait that females of all species are programmed to be
attracted to is status. In the animal kingdom females are told by
Mother Nature to mate with the dominant males of her species. It is
no different for human beings. When female animals go into heat,
they search out the strongest males to mate with in order to preserve
the race and create strong offspring. When a woman feels excited
and wild over a guy shes feeling the same genetically programmed
response that an animal feels when it goes into heat. She cant help
these feelings. The female animal in nature goes for the seemingly
unattainable, powerful, untamable male. No matter what she says or
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how much she tries to fight these instincts its simply factual that they
exist inside her. All of this information is encoded in her genetic
structure.
Women need to feel this wild, uncontrollable attraction. They dont
logically choose it they feel it or not. You can buy her flowers for the
next ten years and it wont matter unless you make her FEEL this
attraction to you. Women dont care how things work; they care how
things make them feel. In all of the romance novels and soap operas
women have been devouring since they were kids, the leading males
are always untamable, strong men who sweep women off their feet.
This is the quality that many jerks have. Women dont like the fact
that the guy is actually a jerk its just that jerks have a tendency to
have more of this primal, uncontrollable dominance that the weaker,
nice guys dont have. They cant help it fellas. They are simply
responding to Mother Nature. Estrogen is a drug that induces feeling.
It makes women want and need to feel everything. Testosterone is a
hormone of aggression/achievement and dominance. The sooner we
realize and accept these facts, the easier time well have
understanding the dating world.
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So what exactly are some of these traits that shes genetically
programmed to desire?
Physical Strength
Women are genetically programmed to desire a physically strong
man. Now dont go running off to buy steroids because this doesnt
necessarily mean that she wants a guy like the incredible Hulk. In fact
when a guy gets too huge muscularly many women see that as a
compensation for other weaknesses. What they do desire is a fit man,
who walks with his head up high, with his shoulders back, showing
complete confidence. I will teach you many techniques in the book
that will make women see you as a physically strong creature.
Ambition
Ambition is a great attribute to have because it helps women
rationalize why theyd be with a weaker man. Major ambition is
usually enough to tell a woman that at some point soon, youll be the
dominant male shes looking for and as long as she has the patience
to wait, shell give you a chance. I remember watching Jerry Maguire
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listening to Renee Zellweger say, I love him for the man he almost
is and thinking What a bitch. Whats wrong with the man he is right
now. Then I realized that she couldnt help it. It was her genetic
programming that wanted him to be the strongest man he could be.
Yes I know its just a movie but its a perfect example of how women
think. His ambition to be the strong male was enough to keep her
interested. Another reason that ambition is so attractive is because
women are programmed to look for the instinct in you that wants to
be dominant. Most men assume that they need to have lots of money
and power to get women when in fact; you dont need to be rich or
powerful right now to attract women. Women are equally as
attracted to the trait in you that desires to get rich, powerful and
successful.
Modesty
Never be blatantly boastful. Once you develop a real self-confidence
it will shine through in your actions. Any man that feels the need to
talk about how great he is in bed or what a great athlete he is will
seem weak. Women have a built in radar that lets them spot the
difference between real and fake confidence. Instead show with your
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actions what an amazing person you are and always be humble
about it. I will teach you in this book how to always appear humble
while secretly sneaking in brags in a way that women cant detect
them.
These are just a few of the characteristics that women are genetically
programmed to desire. Let me stop the list here and move on the
next chapter where Ill begin to tell you how to start making these
qualities a part of your very being.
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Part 2: How To Be The

Guy You Need To Be To
Attract Women!
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Chapter 3: Confidence
People feel good about themselves when they are around confident
people. When you exude confidence and feel great about yourself,
people (and most importantly females) will want to be around you.
You create a glow around you that women want to be a part of. They
can tell that you feel good about yourself and they want to feel that
way about themselves. They will draw close to you, hoping it will rub
off on them.
When I was younger, I wasnt always confident around women. I
sometimes felt inadequate and unsure of myself. Instead of letting
this lack of confidence eat me alive, I went out and learned all I could
about how to increase my confidence. I went to the library and bought
every book imaginable about confidence. I started applying
everything I learned in my real life and eventually I became the
strong, confident guy I always dreamed of being. Im about to share
with you the most important things I learned and the confidence
building techniques that made me who I am today.
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Why you are actually just as good looking as Brad Pitt
Before I get into specific techniques about how to become confident
let me break down the myth that you must be the quintessential good
looking guy to get women.
What if I was to tell you that you are equally as good looking as Brad
Pitt? I bet youd think Im crazy. Well actually its true. The
expression, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder is 100% accurate.
What is it about slight variations in facial and body structure that
make one person better than the next? Its the way the viewer
perceives them. In fact, modern science is beginning to show us that
we dont actually see anything with our eyes. What actually happens
is that we gather information from our eyes and create an image in
our brain based on millions of variables stemming from social
conditioning and pre-conceived notions. I want you to picture
someone who youve known for several years. How do you look at
them? Would you say they are attractive overall? Now think about the
first day you met them. Really try to picture how you viewed them the
first day you saw them. I bet its at least somewhat different than how
you view them now.
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More proof that you are really no different than Brad Pitt comes when
we examine the historical perception of beauty. In Ancient Egypt, fat
men were considered extremely attractive, as it indicated that the
person was rich enough to afford a lot of food and avoid physical
labor. While we spend time on the beach working on our tan, in the
early Mediterranean societies women were seeking out pale men.
This was an indication that a man was wealthy and didnt have to
work outside. In fact, people used to cover their entire bodies when
going outside to avoid getting tan.
If a woman of today sees you having yellow teeth shell assume you
have bad breath and you dont take care of yourself. In Japan and
Europe there was a time when men would dye their teeth black
because women found it attractive. Sugar at the time was very
expensive. Once they became aware of sugar's ability to rot teeth,
many rich, fashion-conscious people blackened their teeth to prove
how much sugar they could afford.
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For centuries men used to purposely scar their face because it
showed that they were brave and didnt back down from battle.
Women found grotesque and numerous scars on a man attractive.
Fast forwarding to modern times - I remember seeing a special on TV
about the supermodel Giselle and Leonardo DiCaprio recently. They
were doing some kind of missionary work on an island in the middle
of nowhere. Based on our American standards, the people on the
island were hideously ugly. An interviewer asked one of the natives if
theyd like Leonardo and Giselle to stay on the island with them. Not
knowing that Giselle and Leo were dating, the guy answered that hed
love them to stay but theyd probably never find mates because they
are so ugly. This guy actually thought that these two American icons
of beauty were the ugly ones! So back to my original point and the
really good news; YES - you are as good looking as Brad Pitt. Thats
the good news. The bad news is that women of our time and culture
are socially conditioned by everything around them to find him more
attractive than us mere mortals. While its certainly an uphill battle
to try to convince a woman that you are better looking than Brad Pitt
off the bat, with proper technique you can shift her perception of
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beauty. Think about it this way. For every feature on him, there is
some specific socially or genetically programmed reason why she
finds it attractive. Lets examine a couple of Brads features and show
how eventually she can find your features equally as attractive.
Lets look at his prominent cheek bones and strong jaw line and chin.
In Western societies, men and women of all races often agree that a
face with pronounced cheekbones and often a heavily-set jaw is
physically attractive. These are currently viewed as indicative of a
masculine, confident personality. Now, lets say you have no
cheekbone structure and an extremely tiny chin but you are incredible
confident and masculine. In fact, you are the most confident man
shes ever met. You have just set a new precedent for what confident
means to her. I agree that for the first meeting or two shell probably
still say that Brad is more attractive than you, but after a while those
old cultural views that she had associated with a strong chin can be
replaced by even more powerful associations about having hardly
any chin at all. A chinless guy will actually become her new symbol
of confidence and masculinity. If you were to break up with her, shed
actually go out and search for a guy with a tiny chin because she now
assumes that its somehow associated with confidence.
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So whats the lesson to be learned about all this? If you dont look like
Brad Pitt, dont worry about it. With extreme confidence and the right
techniques you will actually become her new standard for beauty and
masculinity. Keep this in mind when you are out meeting women. You
need to know that her view of beauty is so paper-thin and penetrable
that you have no reason to ever feel insecure. Be confident that with
the right attitude you can actually become the vision for what beauty
is in her eyes.
The Soprano Factor
Heres an example that proves that a strong, confident personality
can blind a woman to the fact that you arent classically handsome. I
was hanging out with a group of girls I know watching Sopranos a few
of years ago. To my complete shock one of the girls bursted out
almost as if she couldnt help but say it ,Mmmmmmmm he is
sooooo hot!. On the screen all I see are Tony and Carmela Soprano.
I immediately think she couldnt be talking about anyone on the
screen because obviously Tony Soprano is a fat, balding guy. So I
start looking around the room and see some photos on a table next to
the TV. In one of the photos I see a picture of one of the girls with her
arm around some guy. I assumed that must have been who she was
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saying mmmmmmm about. I didnt really give it much thought and
kept watching the show. A little while later, one of the other girls says,
Yeah, he really is hot. I finally realize that they are talking about
Tony Soprano. How could this possibly be? I was so confused. These
girls were drooling over Tony Soprano like he was a piece of steak. I
asked the other three girls in the room if they thought he was
attractive as well. To my astonishment, all but one of them thought he
was hot. They said, Theres just something about him. I dont know
what it is. I couldnt believe my ears. This was the ultimate proof to
me that with the right attitude, ANY man can be considered attractive
to women. Now after years of studying the psychology of attraction, I
understand what it is they were talking about. Tony Soprano displays
a huge amount of confidence and strength. He speaks in a
commanding, authoritative tone. Hes the kind of guy that will put a
woman in her place if she gets out of line with him. He will call her out
on any silly games she plays. He is always in control of the situation.
So no matter how ugly you are, if you can get women to think that
you are strong, in control and confident they will find you attractive!
This is great news for all of us that look more like Tony Soprano than
Brad Pitt.
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Become The Cool, Confident Guy
Okay, so know that we realize the importance of confidence, lets look
at some ways we can begin to develop it. I often have guys ask me
how to how to become a cool, confident guy. The first step to
becoming the guy youve always wanted to be is to close your eyes
and imagine every aspect of his character. Dont rush through this.
Without a very vivid picture of who you want to become, youll never
become him. I want you to take a moment to ponder each one of
these questions: How does he walk? How does he move? What does
his voice sound like? Does he hold his head high? How does he
dress? I want you to go through every aspect of his character. Get an
extremely clear vision in your head of this fictional character. Now I
want you to say to yourself, If I can see him, I can be him. Now take
your face and put it on this character. I want you to brand this image
into your subconscious. In your mind, get used to walking around like
this guy. Get used to talking like him. Just as you wouldnt expect to
be the best piano player in the world without practicing, you shouldnt
expect to be a cool, confident guy without practicing. Become
comfortable with the new guy youve created. I want you to really
embrace the concept that you can be anyone you want. No guy was
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born a ladies man. Practice this visualization for at least 5 minutes
a day and youll become more and more comfortable being this
character.
Another similar drill I want you to try is called Acting as if. Right now
I want you to stand up and try something. Come on, get up and really
do this! I want you to stand how youd stand if you had 100 times
more confidence. Imagine that you were unstoppable. Stand how you
would if you were the most powerful, confident guy on the planet.
How does it feel? Get your chin up and your shoulders back. Now
step away from this book for a minute and walk how youd walk if you
were 100 times more confident. Walk like youre a lion marking his
territory. Walk with long deliberate strides. Take each step with total
self assuredness. Now I have to ask you Why dont you walk
around like this all the time? What are you afraid of? Im sure youre
thinking things like, People might think Im arrogant or Its just not
me. Its these thoughts of fear that women can smell on you. You
need to erase these concepts immediately. Women respect a man
whos not afraid to let the world know hes confident. You have
nothing to be afraid of. Let everyone around you know that youre
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someone important. What youll find is that theyll start to treat you
differently. By Acting as if youre someone confident and important;
youll start to actually become that way! For the next few weeks I
want you to take 5 minutes a day to practice standing and walking as
if you had 100 times more confident. After a while youll notice that it
will begin to reflect in your own natural stance and walk.
Shes Already Bought You
Companies across the country teach sales teams a very key rule that
helps them sell. They are taught to assume that the buyer already
wants what they are selling. In the same way, in order to be
successful with women you need to assume that she wants you.
Assume that she is interested in you and your body language will
follow along.
In the documentary Pumping Iron Arnold Swarzenneger says that
he called his mother before the Mr. Olympia bodybuilding contest
took place to tell her that he already won. Its no coincidence that he
was the 7 time champion. By the way, go out and buy Pumping Iron
as soon as you can even if youre not into bodybuilding. The
confidence that Arnold exhibits in that documentary is incredible and
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inspirational. You can see that Arnold would have been irresistible to
women because he not only displays an amazing amount of
confidence but hes really enjoying life. People just flock to him.
Everyone wants to be around him. Watch Pumping Iron once and
youll see why he has become so successful today.
Become The Ultimate Movie Character
Pick 3 movie characters that you feel exude confidence. Go rent or
buy the movies they are in and carefully observe every move the
characters make. Take notes on the characters. Listen to the lines
they say and the way they say them. Skip to scenes where they are
speaking to a woman and pause the movie after they say lines that
you find well delivered. Rewind and listen to the line several times.
Then practice saying the line out loud in the exact way they said it
and model their posture and stance. Get out a pen and write down all
of the details you possibly can. Where are his eyes looking? How
much distance is there between him and her? Is he using touch at
all? Do this drill with a least 3 movie characters and try to find
similarities between them. What is it that makes them seem
confident? If you can pin point EXACTLY what it is they are doing,
you can do these exact same things and seem confident as well.
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Be A Master Of Your Domain
When youre out with a woman, use deliberate, powerful movements
any chance you get. When reaching for a beer at the bar, grab it
tightly and pull it in to you. When you put seasonings on your food
use a couple of good hard shakes and then put the shaker down 20%
harder than you normally would. This shows you are in control of the
situation and that youre decisive. You may not realize it, but she
processes all of this information. 99% of guys dont realize that
something that seems as trivial as slow, wimpy, indecisive seasoning
shaking can turn a woman off. On a date you are being judged on the
hundreds of little, seemingly insignificant things you do.
Strong animals in nature make every move with power and authority.
You also need to learn mark your territory. An easy way to start doing
this is to take up more space. When youre on a date, spread out and
enjoy being a man. Be the master of your domain. Literally tell
yourself, I am the master of my domain and I enjoy it. This thought
process will reflect in all of your actions from the way you open a door
to the way you sit in your chair and shell notice.
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Another way to establish and maintain dominance is to walk 2 steps
ahead of her (on the side closest to the street if you are walking near
one). This creates the illusion of leadership and protection. She
probably wont realize what youre doing consciously but she will feel
safe following your lead.
Make It Look Easy
Look at the quintessential cool guy - the kind of guy who gets all the
girls and is smooth as can be. Look at any actor playing a heartthrob
role. What is it that separates these guys from the rest of the pack?
They make it LOOK like they are getting tons of women. Even if you
put them in a room by themselves and watched them you'd see by
the look on their face and the way they carry themselves that they are
getting women. You see it all the time at nightclubs. You see those
guys who carry themselves with confidence and have that grin on
their face that says, "I get tons of women and I do it easily". They
might not really be getting tons of women but they sure have us
fooled. Not only are they fooling you but they are fooling the rest of
the women in the place into believing that they are a desirable male.
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So half the battle of attracting women is looking like the kind of guy
that gets tons of women. It doesn't take handsome looks or a
thousand dollar outfit to be the cool guy. Whats much more important
is that look in the eye and sway of carrying yourself that says, "I get
tons of women, it's easy and it's really no big deal to me". When you
are out around a group of women, tell yourself that a few times. Think
of how you'd be standing if that really was the reality. How would the
look on your face be? Always look like you're there to have a good
time but you may have somewhere better to go at any time.
Make Decisions
In order to make a woman see you as a confident man, you need to
develop fast, authoritative decision making ability.
Here's a great example of a conversation that demonstrates a
complete lack of decision making power (does any of this look
familiar?):
Her: "What do you want to do tonight?"
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Him: "I don't know. What do you want to do tonight?"
Her: "I don't really care, it's up to you"
Him: "I'm up for whatever"
Her: "You want to go out to eat?"
Him: "Yeah I guess. I ate something before but we could go eat if you
want"
Her: "Well its stupid to go eat if you're not hungry"
Him "Yeah, I guess your right."
Her: "Well, were you in the mood to go to the movies?"
Him: Okay, what's playing?
Her: "Not sure"
Now what she's really trying to say is, "Be a man damnit!!!! Make a
decision - ANY decision. Just make one! You need to make
decisions quickly and stick to them. Even if you make the WRONG
decision it's better than making NO decision. The great thing about
decisions is that they get easier to make, the more you make them. If
you have a hard time making decisions, it's because you have wimpy
decision making muscles. The more you make decisions, the bigger
and stronger these muscles get. Go out and practice making
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decisions. Start with small ones. You'll see what an empowering
feeling it is to make decisions with authority and stick to them. We live
in a free country. You have the right to make decisions about
everything. This is a beautiful thing! Women search for guys who can
make decisions quickly and easily. They love it. They love to be
guided. I don't care if it's not politically correct to say - it's the truth.
Women love when a man makes decisions for them.
Chapter 4: Be Intriguing
Dont Be Yourself!
How many times have you heard this ridiculous advice? Just be
yourself. This is the biggest bunch of crap Ive ever heard and fastest
way not to attract women. So if youre a drooling, slouching,
mumbling dork should you just go out there and be yourself? NO!!!
Instead, you should create a new self. After all, what is this thing we
call self? Its something weve made up by creating patterns and
habits in our brain. In the same way we created them, we can and
should change them to improve ourselves all the time, thereby
creating a new self. We all have strong points of self and weak points
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of self. When someone says just be yourself, what they should
really be saying is, let the strong, amazing traits that youve
developed through your life shine through and work on changing the
weaker parts of your self. Eventually you will get used to the new
patterns and behaviors and a new, better, more attractive self should
emerge. Too often we get comfortable with our unattractive mindset
and habits and are afraid to break them. Now Im saying you should
change yourself for women. You should change yourself for YOU!
The traits that a woman would find attractive and intriguing in you are
the same traits that will make your life outside of the dating world
more rewarding.
Read, Read, Read!!
In order to be intriguing to women you need to have interesting things
to talk about. One way to make sure you always seem interesting is
to read. Read as much interesting stuff as you can. Read magazines
that will keep you up on whats hip and current, like Details. Also
read stuff that will keep you up on basic pop-culture like People. I
personally could care less about who the hell Tom Cruise is dating
but I try to keep up on stuff like this because its great date
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conversation. Women love to talk about this kind of crap.
You should try to at least skim through a newspaper every day.
Women like a man who knows whats going on in the world. It makes
you appear educated and worldly. This may sound really basic but I
know a ton of guys that have no idea what the hell is going on around
the world and they tend to get very quiet when the conversation shifts
to politics or world affairs. Women like a man who appears
knowledgeable about world events. If you think Condoleezza Rice is
a side dish to chicken then go get yourself a newspaper subscription
ASAP!
Stay Busy
Stay busy and get hobbies. Keep yourself busy in life and find your
passion and/or hobbies you enjoy. This will reflect in your personality.
Women will notice that your overall nature is positive, happy and at
peace. People who are genuinely enjoying life outside of the dating
world will not be single for long (unless they choose to be). Women
find men who are genuinely interested in unique or exciting hobbies
intriguing. Women pick up on the kind of happy, positive aura you
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give off when you are enjoying your life theyre attracted to it.
The Video Game Theory
Right off the bat you need to let women know that you are a
mysterious and interesting being so that you don't end up in the friend
zone. You need to be somewhat challenging to but at the same time
let them know that you're interested enough.
At this point you might be thinking, How can let a woman know I'm
interested enough while still being mysterious and evasive? The
answer lies in a concept Ive created called The Video Game
Theory When trying to attract a woman you need to be like your
favorite video game. You dont want to be too easy to win, but you
dont want to be impossible. The perfect video game (and perfect
man) is fun, challenging enough and has surprises around every
corner. If you were playing a video game that consisted of one level
and could be figured out in 5 minutes would you keep playing it? Of
course not. What if the game was too difficult right from the
beginning? What if your character walked 2 feet and fell off a cliff
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every time no matter what you did? Chances are youd give up on it
after a little while. The perfect video game allows you to play a little
shoots you down a little bit but always gives you hope that there is
more to conquer, more to accomplish. New, exciting challenges come
at you at each turn. In the same way you need to become an exciting
challenge to women. Another thing that a great video game does is
ups the challenge just enough once you think you have it figured out.
Why is it that we rarely go back to level one in video game once were
on level 9? Because there is no challenge there - no mystery. Also
consider this; Very attractive women have dated some very
interesting, mysterious guys that are at a 9 challenge level. Why
would they want to play with you when youre on a 1 or 2 challenge
level? Theyve played and conquered that level before with many
men and its really not fun for them anymore.
No MO!
The Latin phrase Modus operandi (often used in the abbreviated form
MO) refers to a persons way of doing something. The dictionary
definition is; An unvarying or habitual method of procedure. Never let
women catch on to your modus operandi. This is a key facet in the art
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of war and it works very well at keeping a beautiful woman intrigued
with you. Once a woman figures out your thinking habits and patterns
she will assume she has you all figured out. As she figures out your
MO she will begin to grow bored and complacent. Don't let her know
why you're doing things. Let her think one thing and then do
something totally opposite. Another problem with letting a woman in
on your MO is that they can develop contempt for the way think and
do things. When someone thinks they have your MO all figured out
they can become condescending and begin to get annoyed with your
habits. They will feel contempt and purposely try to play psychological
games attempting to fracture or change your MO. It's very hard to
change your MO. You've developed it by processing trillions of bits of
information over a very long period of time (your whole life). This is
why it's important to do things against your own instincts sometimes.
Try to pay attentions to little thing you do and say all the time and
change them up. Keep her on her toes.
Now I'm not saying that you should do this with the woman you finally
decide to settle down with. That's one of the beauties of marriage,
and growing old together. You let the other person in on all the
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intricacies of your mind. This is a bond that you need to save for that
one special person after years of knowing them. Never reveal this
stuff during the early months of dating. It's not that she'll intentionally
be mean to you once she has you figured out; it's just a natural
human tendency to get annoyed with the patterns of a person that
you have all figured out.
Make Her Heart Grow Fonder
Let her miss you. At the beginning of a relationship you need to give
her enough time between calls and visits to miss you. Absence
makes the heart grow fonder. It will also give her time to think about
you and create all kinds of mystery in her mind. Don't stay away for
ridiculous amounts of time, but enough to build up a true desire in her
to see you again.
Chapter 5: No More Mr. Nice Guy!

Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
If theres one thing Ive heard more than anything from guys
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regarding women, its this - Why do girls go for jerks? Why does the
nice guy always finish last? Im about to clear up this long pondered
mystery for you once and for all. There is absolutely nothing wrong
with being a good guy. In fact, most women want a good guy. They
want a guy with a huge heart. They want a guy whos caring, sweet
and sensitive. So why doesnt every nice guy have a supermodel on
his arm? There are many reasons for this and Im about to explain all
of them to you.
Women See The Nice Guy Act As A Sham
We are all sexual creatures and hot women know that most men want
to get in their pants. They understand that men want sex from them
and they are going to employ all kinds of tactics to get them in the
sack. Attractive women are so used to guys trying to be nice to them
just to get some ass that they develop a repulsion to the tactic. Guys
assume that being extra nice to a woman will make women trust them
and feel comfortable around them when if fact it usually has quite the
opposite effect. Deep in their gut something tells them that this just
isnt natural. They see that you werent being so nice to Juan the bus
boy or Joe the cab driver and they think, So why is he being so nice
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to me? He must want something from me. Now theres nothing
wrong with letting a woman know you want something from her.
Actually if shes a good-looking woman she already knows that you
want something from her. By you pretending that you are such a nice,
sweet guy you are offending her sensibilities. When you play the nice
buddy role to get involved with a woman sexually or romantically you
are actually lying to her and youre only fooling yourself. Women have
a sixth sense that helps them pick up on this instantly. Youre
thinking, This is going great. She really thinks Im a nice guy. Ill have
her convinced Im safe and Ill be able to get past her defenses in no
time. Meanwhile her subconscious mind is telling her, Oh God, I
know hes doing all this just so he can bang me. She may even
seem responsive to your nice guy act because its not easy to be
mean to someone when they are being nice to you. Shell probably
be pretty responsive up until the point where you try to make a move
and then shell politely shoot you down.
Let me give you this example to make this concept more clear. You
walk into a used car lot and here comes a bright eyed fellow with his
hair neatly parted to the side and a smile from ear to ear. He offers
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you a cup of coffee. You say no and he says, are you sure? We
have some great Colombian roast my friend. Then he looks down at
your watch and says, ahhh... great watch. A Movado huh - fine piece
of machinery. You politely say thank you. He then asks you what
youre looking for and you say, I was thinking something sporty but
affordable. Something fast in maybe a red. He says, ahaaa, youre
my kind of guy! I knew you were a red guy. I love red too. Ya know,
theyve done studies that say guys who prefer red tend to have higher
IQs? Now lets look at whats happening here. You are thinking that
this guy is a really nice guy. Hes throwing out all of these
compliments at me - I like this guy. Meanwhile your inner
subconscious voice is yelling at you saying, Hey you idiot!! Of course
this guy is being nice you. Hes trying to sell you the damn car! Hell
tell you anything you want to hear. Women experience this feeling
times ten every time a guy starts being overly nice.
What You Call Niceness Is Really Weakness
Guys who describe themselves as the nice guy are always saying
things like, Why do nice guys finish last? The answer is - they
dont Weak guys finish last. Very often behaviors that you call nice
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are perceived by women as weak. And they are usually right. So Mr.
Nice Guy, get ready for a rude awakening - You are really Mr. Weak
Guy. The gauge you are using to qualify your niceness is way off.
Be a Good Guy Not A Nice Guy
You need to think in terms of being a GOOD guy, not a NICE guy.
Women really dont want jerks. They want many of the qualities that a
jerk portrays but they dont want you to really be a mean jerk. Take a
look at the classic hero in most action movies. Lets look at Indiana
Jones for a minute. Youll notice that for the most part he isnt a nice
guy. He has no time for silly games, he tends to be rather abrupt with
people who cant keep up with him, and he doesnt kiss anyones ass.
To the amateur eye he may even come across as a jerk. But, heres
what makes him the hero. When it comes down to it he really is a
good guy. He really wants to help people. He has a big heart and
even sacrifices his own life to help others around him. This is what
women want. Its okay to have a big heart and to be a really good
guy. In fact, women LOVE that. Its one of the main qualities they look
for in a man. You need to learn to separate the concept of what
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youve been calling the nice guy from the good guy. The nice
guy tells everyone what they want to hear. The nice guy doesnt
stand his ground or voice his opinion when people offer adversity.
The good guy isnt concerned with catering to everyone around him
and isnt interested in telling people what they want to hear. He is
however very caring and really wants to help people when it comes to
serious issues. The good guy is the one who sacrifices himself when
it really counts. He has a genuine love for people. You can and
should be a good guy without being a weak nice guy.
People Dont Respect People Who Kiss Their Ass
Another reason that women dont go for the nice guy is because they
see it as kissing ass. Lets face it - being Mr. nice guy is basically ass
kissing. I can tell you for a fact that nobody respects someone who
kisses their ass. They may like the feeling that it brings about, but
they still resent the fact that they are having their ass kissed. For
instance - Phil from accounting who always tells the boss that he
looks like hes losing weight and yeses him to death and laughs at
all his jokes will probably make the boss feel great. In the same way,
when guys kiss a girls ass the girl will usually respond positively.
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Hey, why not - Getting compliments feels good. Unfortunately when
trying to get a woman to like you the idea is not get her to feel good
about herself - its about trying to her to feel good about you. After a
day of ass kissing the boss goes home to his mansion feeling
important, confident and special. Do you think hes thinking about Phil
from accounting? NO!! Hes thinking about how much weight he lost
and how funny and smart he is - and I guarantee he does not respect
Phil for kissing his ass all day. In fact I bet he thinks of Phil as weak.
He knows what Phils ploy is. He knows that Phil is just trying to
connive his way up the corporate ladder. In the same way, women
know when you are conning your way up their ladder with your nice
guy routine. Now this doesnt mean that you shouldnt hold doors and
do some basic traditional chivalrous things. Just dont play up the
nice, sweet, sensitive guy thing.
How To Show Her That Youre A Nice Guy Without Kissing Ass
Now that we realize that this persona that youve been calling nice
guy for all these years is a total sham, lets discuss ways you show
her that you are a good guy without kissing any ass or being a
wimp.
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Hold the door for others
Go out of your way to hold the door for other people. By holding the
door and doing other courteous things for others, shell believe that
youre genuinely a good guy.
Make conversation with waiters, cab drivers, clerks, etc.
Be extremely nice to waiters. Throw some money in a homeless
persons cup. Make other people around you laugh. This will get her
yearning for your attention. This is a great way to let her know that
you are a great guy without kissing her ass like every other guy she
goes out with. Shell subconsciously be thinking, This guy is such a
sweetheart and everyone likes him what can I do to get and keep
his attention and energy focused on me?
Don't Walk On Eggshells
Guys spend a lot of time trying to feel out a woman to see what type
of behavior she'll approve of. Then most guys act accordingly. They
think that women will like them because they stayed within her
boundaries and catered to what she wants. It's almost like they wait
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for cues of permission before attempting or saying anything. You
need to learn to stop seeking her approval. Women hate this. They
won't tell you that they don't like this, but keep this stuff up and by the
end of the night youll be sure to hear, You're such a nice guy. I think
me and you can be great friends". You are a strong, confident and
powerful man! You don't need a woman's approval or permission to
act how you want to act and do what you want to do. You'll see that
she'll respect you for it.
Never ask her repeatedly if she's having a good time. This is HUGE
mistake that so many guys make. Act like youre on the date to enjoy
yourself. Don't be overly concerned with making sure she's having a
good time. The more you ask if she's enjoying herself, the more you'll
seem unsure of yourself. You need to convince yourself that you are
a great date. You don't need her to tell you that the date is going well
to confirm this fact. Convince yourself that you are a fun, great guy
and any woman that doesn't see it, doesn't deserve you.
Disagreement
Don't agree with everything she says. Make sure you stick strong to
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your beliefs and dont lose touch of who you are to cater to her. When
she says things that are out of line or incorrect in your eyes, you have
to call her out on it. This demonstrates that you are a strong,
independent man who will not put up with her nonsense and she'll
respect you for that. This doesn't mean you should go out of your way
to start arguments or disagree with everything she says, but from
time to time you should tell her that you think she's wrong and try to
explain why. Make sure you let her know when she's being bitchy or
a pain in the ass. Don't call her a bitch, but instead let her know
politely that she's out of line. This is one of the reasons that women
love "make up" sex. After a disagreement a women has all kinds of
emotion built up and she wants to release it. An even more powerful
reason that they want sex after an intense argument is because the
man just displayed his strong, dominant, powerful side and it turned
her on. In the same way, she'll be turned on by the strength that it
took to stand your ground when you disagree with her from time to
time.
Get Thick Skin
Part of being a real man and not falling into the nice guy friend zone
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is not letting her hurt your feelings easily. Never let her think she hurt
your feelings or struck a nerve with you even when she actually does.
Just like the age old saying goes, "Never let em see you sweat".
When she knows she can hurt your feelings with her words she'll see
that as insecurity. And when you really examine it, it is insecurity.
Women can make some really belittling comments without realizing it
and sometimes purposely to strike a nerve and test you. That's right;
women will actually use these belittling comments to see if you can
take it. It's a test to see how much of a man you are. They usually
don't even realize they are doing this kind of thing to test us, but
make no mistake about it - IT'S A TEST. If you are secure enough in
yourself, there's nothing to feel hurt about. You are sure of yourself
and nothing she can say or do can bring you down. I remember back
in my more inexperienced days, I had a girlfriend who used to tell me
I had small hands. It used to get me so frustrated when she'd say this
and she knew it. She used to bring it up once in a while because she
knew it got to me. At the time I had no idea that it was really a way to
keep testing me. If I had just acted relaxed about it and acted like it
didn't bother me, I would have passed the test and she wouldn't have
brought it up again.
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So the next time a woman says or does anything that hurts your
feelings, remember to BE A MAN and let it roll off your shoulders.
This doesnt mean that you shouldn't express yourself when she does
or says something disrespectful. If she goes out and kisses another
guy, you have every right to let her know that it was wrong and you
should call her out on it. You can call her out without letting her know
it hurt your feelings. When my ex-girlfriend used to make those hand
comments I could have said straight out, "I know you're saying that to
try to belittle me and I don't appreciate it", and then forgotten about it.
Neediness
Neediness can be a guys worst enemy in a relationship. Being needy
and clingy can turn a girl off really quickly. Needy guys are weak and
women know it. Do you call her a million times a day? Tell her you
miss her every minute? Let her slide when she's being a bitch just
because you want to stay around her? These are tell-tale signs of
neediness. If you do any of these things now, you must stop
immediately. I have friends who I've watched do this over and over
again and sure enough they all got dumped eventually. I had one
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particular friend who used to do this all the time. We'd be out on guys
night out and he'd call her 3 or 4 times throughout the night. He'd say,
"baby I miss you... I love you". I remember telling him repeatedly that
he shouldn't do this. He'd reply to me, "I was just checking in. She
thinks it's cute. I knew he was wrong, but he was so thick headed
that he never listened to me. Sure enough - a few months later, she
dumped him. She was actually a friend of mine as well and after they
broke up she told me that she was going to search for a real man, not
a needy, clingy guy like him. She actually said, "I think I'm going to
start dating jerks". She said it somewhat jokingly but I knew that she
basically meant it. Here are some tips that will help you avoid looking
needy:
Don't hang all over her when you're out.
If you're out with a crowd of people and her, make sure you give her
space. Talk to the rest of the group. Engage others in conversation
and give equal eye contact to everyone. Let her talk with the others
without interjecting too much. Give her attention but not too much.
The best way to do it is in spurts. Give some attention for a few
minutes and then withdraw a little bit. Try this out and watch what
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happens. You'll find that after a while she'll start coming and latching
on to you!
Don't fish for compliments or brag
This kind of behavior screams, "I'm needy! Please give me attention!"
If you're confident enough and you do something "compliment
worthy", she'll notice and give you your due respect.
Don't call too much
I know this can be tough when you're really into a beautiful girl.
Sometimes you need to force yourself not to call to tell her how much
you are thinking about her. By calling all the time you will smother
her. She'll start to think of you as a needy wimp. Be somewhat
evasive and then once in a while call and say something like, Good
night sexy... I'll be dreaming about you". The phone call and the
compliment will mean so much more to her because you don't do it
too often. She'll actually be craving the attention by that point.
Don't play the husband role early in the relationship
When you really, really like a girl, you might start acting like a
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husband way too early in the relationship. Women can get scared off
by you in the beginning if you act like you're planning a long term
relationship. Some guys start acting this way after only a few dates.
Very beautiful women get this all the time. Guys start to talk long term
and act as if they've been married for 10 years and this scares the
hell out of them. They start to think like this, "If he's so into me this
early on, he must be really needy and desperate to latch on to
something".
Insecurities
A major tendency of Mr. Nice Guy is to point out his major insecurities
when talking to a woman. Down the road once she knows you better
you can let her in on some of your insecurities and she may think
they are cute, but at the beginning you need to avoid saying things
that make you seem weak. Remember, women have thousands of
years of programming telling them to seek out the strongest male
they can find whether theyre aware of it or not. By revealing your
insecurities too soon you are basically saying Im weak. Many men
say these kinds of things hoping that it will arouse some sympathy or
that it will show their more human side but trust me - all it says is
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Im such a damn wimp. A woman may even respond positively with
something like, wow - its great that you can admit that. So many
guys try to act so macho. Dont listen to them! Thats what they think
theyre supposed to say but their primal instincts are saying, I dont
think this guy could be a strong conqueror and provider. As soon as
shes done with the date with you shell be out looking for the Mr.
Macho she was just denouncing.
This concept can be hard for men to understand because a lot of
times we hear women say that they want a sensitive man, whos not
too macho to admit his insecurities. Actually, they do want a man
whos not afraid to point out his insecurities, but not before theyve
already established that you are a strong, powerful man. On a first or
second date you have not yet established yourself as the dominant
male she has been programmed to desire. Therefore, by bringing up
your insecurities too early you never give her a chance to see you
this way. Once you establish yourself as a dominant male, you can
begin to introduce your insecurities and she may even find them cute
and humanizing.
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The quintessential nice guy feels the need to put everything on the
table right away and tell a woman all of his inner feelings because he
thinks the woman will somehow instantly relate to his human side and
it will create a bond. It really seems logical that a woman, who is an
insecure, emotional creature, would automatically relate to you
because you reveal your insecurities. However it just doesnt work
that way. Women need to know that a man is emotionally stable and
strong enough to support her when shes feeling emotionally weak.
When you start showing her all of your emotions and insecurities
immediately she begins to think you arent capable of this.
Dont be the bitter jerk
So weve learned that its okay to be a good guy but not a nice
guy. Now you can confidently be the good guy without trying to play
up the jerk role to get women, which is something that a lot of former
nice guys try to do in their desperate attempt to get women. Their
logic is, F@#K this! Ive been stepped on too long! Im going to be a
jerk. Women will probably like me more if I act like a jerk. They use
this role because they have been dissed and/or dumped by women in
the past and they see this as a way of avoiding future vulnerability.
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Women see through this routine immediately. You see these kinds of
guys saying abrasive things like, you women are all the same and
being generally mean because they think itll make them seem tough
or challenging. Ya know what women really see when you do this.
They see a weak puppy dog whos been hurt in the past and is trying
to cover all of that up with this fake jerk exterior. Women have great
radar for bitterness and its an instant turn-off to them. To women,
bitterness equals weakness. It means that you let your past love-life
defeat you and turn you into this jerk character. If youve been hurt by
a woman or women in the past and you try to cover it up with any
technique, women will notice this. You need to really forget the past
and think of every date as a fresh start.
Feeling Sorry For Yourself
Mr. Nice Guy gets shot down again and again and inevitably resorts
to feeling sorry for himself. First of all let me say that just by reading
this book you are telling me that you are a guy who isnt willing to sit
back and feel sorry for himself. It tells me youre ready to take
positive action toward being the guy you want to be. Its a big step
toward taking control of your dating situation and your life in general.
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Lets face it; weve all felt bad for ourselves at times in our life when
our dating life hasnt gone the way we wanted. Whether it was in the
12th grade when Suzie didnt want to go to the prom with us or
whether its just an overall feeling of despair or inferiority weve all
felt it. Its okay to feel these feelings once in a while but the problem
is when we wallow in them. There is no bigger waste of time in life
than time spent feeling bad for yourself. So your love life hasnt been
all youve wanted it to be. So what youve been shot down time after
time by women. We all know these things hurt and its okay to feel the
sting, but you need to feel it quickly and then let it go.
When you get the urge to feel sorry for yourself about these kinds of
things I want you to tell yourself The past does not equal the future.
The record of what has been is nothing compared to the great
possibilities that lie ahead. Let the past be the past. A beautiful part of
life is that every day you wake up you have a blank slate. You can
create your day any way you want it to be. Starting today, you can be
anyone you want to be!
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Another way you can conquer the sin of feeling sorry for yourself is
to realize that nobody is listening. Once you kill this imaginary
listener youve created, youll see just how unproductive this behavior
is. When a baby is crying for his mother and the mother leaves him in
a room by himself, eventually the baby stops crying. The reason is
because once the baby comes to accept that nobody is listening, he
understands that his crying is futile. In the same way, once you know
that nobody is listening to your cries of self pity youll realize that
they are a big waste of time.
Im sure a few of you are thinking, Its not some imaginary listener
that Im crying to Its God. Okay, so Ill give you the benefit of the
doubt and assume that God is listening to you feel bad for yourself. I
have a feeling that God would tell you to stop feeling sorry for
yourself and get out there and do something about it. Hes given you
all the resources to work with; Clothes, the gym, humor, this book,
etc.
You especially dont want to feel bad for yourself in front of a woman.
Never, ever go for the sympathy vote - a woman might go for it if
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shes already decided that she likes you but for the most part it just
makes you look weak and pathetic.
Chapter 6: Cockiness Done Right

Balancing arrogance and humility
You need to learn to be a little bit arrogant in order to appeal to a
woman. I know this may seem contradictory to everything you've ever
heard or what any female friend's advice would be, but trust me,
arrogance used in the right way will work for you. Arrogance has
become such a dirty word in today's world. When asking a woman
what she doesn't want in a man, arrogance is one of the first on the
list. That is the answer that she thinks she should give. She probably
even believes it herself. There is some validity to the statement.
When women say that they dont like arrogant men, they really mean
one of a few things:
- They dont like arrogant men who cant back up their talk
- They dont like arrogant men who act that way as an obvious
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cover-up for insecurities
- They dont like arrogant men who never show humility or a
softer side
- They dont like arrogant men who are just plain mean
Women like arrogance when it's disguised and bundled with "false
humility". You need to always act humble but also maintain an
arrogant undertone. The key is to have the right mix of arrogance and
sweetness.
The Simon Cowell Experiment
When you are slightly arrogant, people want to find a redeeming
softer side to you. If you're too arrogant or rude you will blow your
chances. The amount of arrogance you want to portray should be
directly proportionate with the amount of time you'll have to show
your nice side. In other words, if you are in a situation where you
know you'll see the person for a period of weeks or months, like while
taking a class, you can play up the arrogance a little more and let
them search for redeeming qualities in you. Let's look at Simon
Cowell for a minute. When we first saw Simon on American Idol our
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first instinct was to hate the guy. We all said, "What an arrogant
bastard". Now us guys thought that and probably never gave it a
second thought, but women around the world starting digging deeper.
They thought, "There's got to be something more to this guy". Then
as the season went on Simon began to give credit where credit was
do. What began to happen was incredible. Whenever Simon gave a
compliment, the audience and all of America (particularly women)
began to cheer like crazy. Why did this happen? The reason is
because people were so excited to see that redeeming quality they
were searching for shine through. They knew there was some good in
this guy. They found themselves wanting to like him. Randy Jackson
who never played the mysterious, arrogant role at all didn't get nearly
the same response when he gave kudos to a contestant. The key is
to balance this confident arrogance with a sweet, vulnerable side.
You can actually create a pattern with women where they'll start
being nice to you and doing all kinds of favors for you just to see that
redeeming side of you peek through. It's an amazing thing to watch
when it's done right. Personally I don't like to play up the arrogant role
much because I'm genuinely a nice, humble guy but it really works so
I do it anyway. It even annoys me that women react well to this kind
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of attitude but unfortunately it's a fact of life.
Remember not to be mean for the sake of being mean. I wouldn't go
as far as Simon, who actually crossed the line sometimes and
became cruel. You don't have months and months on a TV show to
redeem yourself like he does so you can't afford to go as far with it as
he has. But done properly, arrogance can really work for you. A
simple way you can begin to create the kind of dynamic that Simon
does is to start calling girls out on things. Start "breaking her chops"
in a playful way. When they are being lazy, call them lazy. If they are
gaining a little weight, don't be afraid to say, "You're putting on some
weight" (I know I'm going to get hate mail from women everywhere
about that one). If you don't like her outfit, say, "I'm not really feeling
that. You should wear something else". Please don't take this as a
cue to go out and be MEAN to women. Instead it's a cue to go out
and be HONEST with women. They will begin to respect you for it. If
you do things like this, the next time you tell her she looks like she's
losing weight, she'll explode with joy inside. Her behavior will actually
begin to cater to making you happy and trying to bring the
complimentary side out of you. The key is to make sure you properly
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balance the arrogant side with well-timed hints of "sweetness". If you
are too mean or just mean for the sake of being mean women will just
assume you're a jackass. The key is to make her feel like you are
completely honest and discerning, not cruel for no reason.
Part 3: The Approach and

The Art Of Conversation
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Chapter 7: Mentally Preparing For

The Approach
The First step when mentally preparing for the task of actually going
out and meeting women is to think of the absolute worst that can
happen. The absolute worst thing that will happen is she says
something like get lost loser. Now the chances of her saying this are
very slim. If shes not interested shell be more likely to say something
like, I have a boyfriend or shell just try to ignore you and turn to talk
to her friends. So - now that you have a clear vision of the worst thing
that can happen, say to yourself, If that does happen, I can handle it.
I can walk away with my pride intact. I know that if she disses me, its
some problem with her, not me. She probably has some rule about
not meeting guys in bars or she really does have a boyfriend, or she
just came out of a bad relationship and isnt in the mood to meet
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someone - but either way, Im a man and I can handle anything she
will say to me!
Right before you approach a woman you need to get any thought that
she might reject you out of your mind. Tell yourself that you are the
best thing that will happen to this girl all day. Literally say to yourself,
I am an attractive, amazing guy and this girl should be honored to
meet me. You need to picture that she already likes you. Get rid of
any doubt in your mind that she might not like you. Start to think of
people in your life that really like and appreciate you. Think about
how likable you know you are deep down inside. The more you think
about it, the more these characteristics will begin to manifest
themselves.
1 Week To Live
One incredible strategy that I use to get myself motivated to pick up
women is called the Zero Hour Technique. I tell myself that I just
got a call from my doctor and he tells me I only have one week to live.
I only have one week to have as much fun as I possibly can and to
meet as many women as I possibly can. Imagine how you'd live if you
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really only had 1 week to live? I want you to really visualize it. How
easy would it become to approach every woman that passed you by?
After all, why the hell not? You have nothing to lose and you have to
make the week as fun as possible.
Conquering Fear Of Meeting Women
Okay, so now that youve gotten mentally prepared, youre all set to
approach her, right? Well, this is the time that fear may start to show
its ugly head. What fear stands for is - False Evidence Appearing
Real. Fear is basically an illusion that we create when we anticipate
a situation will be worse than it actually will be. The subconscious
mind has created all sorts of illusions that have compounded
throughout the years thereby creating this concept called fear. For
example - when we thought about the worst thing that could happen
when approaching a woman our rational mind realized that her
saying, Get lost loser was about the worst that could happen.
However much of what is stopping you from making the approach is
the false built up scenario youve created in your subconscious. Your
mind may have created some ridiculous picture of you going to
approach the girl and having your pants fall to your ankles as you trip
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and fall on your face. As you look up you see the girl and her friends
pointing and laughing at you while you lay there. Thats why you
need to make it very clear to yourself that this kind of thing has no
chance of actually happening and that the absolute worst that will
happen is the cold shoulder or a rude comment that you can just
laugh off.
To make sure that you follow through on your mission and actually
make the approach I want you to tell yourself 10 times I have nothing
to lose and everything, everything, everything to gain. Make sure you
do this. Youll notice that after reciting this youll be 10 times more
likely to go over and approach her.
Another way to make sure you dont chicken out is to vividly imagine
yourself at home, lonely later that evening regretting the fact that you
didnt go talk to her. Really feel the pain that you will feel knowing that
you were too scared to do something as simple as saying hi to
another human being who breathes the same air as you.
Now I want to share you my secret weapon for getting over the fear of
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the approach. Its called the Death Bed Technique. I want you to
envision yourself on your laying on your death bed thinking back on
your life. I want you to picture all the regrets you had while looking at
your life. Did you live every minute to the fullest? Did you go for it
when you had the chance? Looking at life from this perspective helps
you realize that theres no time to be afraid. You cant let life pass you
by!
The Scared Bug Theory
If you really have a problem with fear, I have developed a theory that
I call The Scared Bug Theory that can help you get over this
pretty rapidly. Remember when you were a kid and you saw a scary
looking bug and you were afraid to touch it. Then some wise adult
told you that the bug is more scared of you than you are of it and it
somehow made the bug look less scary and more approachable. Im
about to let you on a little secret. All women, including the most
beautiful are insecure, vulnerable and scared. No matter how out of
your league she appears, she is secretly very insecure and
vulnerable on the inside. Ive seen this time after time with the most
beautiful women Ive dated. Ive seen them trying on 30 outfits before
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going out because they think every one makes them look fat. Ive
seen them crying over things like not being beautiful enough. Ive
seen them brushing their teeth repeatedly and downing mouthwash
and worrying like crazy about possible bad breath. Ive seen them
ask me questions repeatedly like, Do you think shes prettier than
me? How can you be nervous or stumbling around a creature whos
own insecurities are probably ten times what yours are when you get
down past the surface? The next time you begin to feel nervous
around a beautiful woman I want you to realize that her confident
exterior is all a front. She is just a human being like us all with tons of
insecurity. She is more scared of what you and others think than
you are of her. Once you really harness this concept itll put you in
the driver seat.
Chapter 8: The Actual Approach

A Detailed Approach Scenario
Okay so you're feeling confident and you're ready to actually make
the approach. When trying to get a girls' phone number, most guys
feel like they need to get involved in some long conversation with her
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first. This will waste lots of unnecessary time. Get in there quick and
then get out with the digits. Now remember that the goal is to make
something happen besides just a nice little conversation. You do not
want to leave the situation without a phone number. You should
always have an opening "defuser" ready to break down the barriers
that many women put up upon first being approached. You want to
start the conversation off very naturally, as if you're having a
conversation with a friend. Keep it light and just point out something
that's going on around you. ALWAYS KEEP IT POSITIVE! Never say
something like, "You look tired, Monday mornings suck huh?" Keep it
positive. You want to say something either positive or neutral (if you
can't think of anything positive on the spot). The best opening "line" is
something that makes her laugh. Be very relaxed and casual but then
use a concept that I call "Escalation". Once you have her feeling
somewhat comfortable (don't spend more than 2 minutes making her
comfortable), gradually escalate the intensity of the conversation. For
example, let's say you're on line at a deli or fast food place (I want
you to use this every time you are on line and you have an attractive
woman next to you). When you're in a situation like this is the perfect
opportunity to do something I call "Prepping the Deal". "Prepping The
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Deal" is about doing something in front of her that she sees or hears
that makes you look good right before you start the conversation with
her. There won't always be time to prep the deal in many situations
but whenever it's possible - DO IT! Here is one example of prepping
the deal that you can use at bars all the time. Let her hear you give
the bartender a big, strong thank you like, "I dont know how you do it,
but you serve up those drinks really fast. Thanks a lot buddy". Then if
she happens to be looking you can throw down a good sized tip.
Don't use this one if it's a female bartender because she may mistake
it for flirting. Now when you approach her, she'll already assume that
you're a good guy and be more receptive to your approach. You have
successfully "Prepped the Deal".
This is a great way to prep the deal when youre on line a
supermarket or at a nightclub (anywhere you might be waiting on a
line). If you have a few minutes a good way to prep the deal in this
situation is to pretend you got a call from your mom on your cell
phone. Make sure your cell phone ringer is off so you don't get a call
in the middle of your fake conversation. Just make it a very brief
conversation because you don't have much time. Act like she just
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gave you some good news and say, "ahh.. that's great mom. Okay
cool." - Then throw in a few "yeahs" and "uh huhs" like she's telling
you stuff. Now for the important part - Right before hanging up say,
"okay, love you mom... bye". That was it SIMPLE but EFFECTIVE.
Women often look at the way a man treats his mom as the way he'll
treat them. With this "deal prepper" you just made her ten times more
receptive to your approach. Now is time to make your first "move".
Start out by turning to her and saying, "I feel like I spend my whole
life waiting on lines." She'll usually respond with a smile or a little
chuckle and say something like, "I know what you mean". Ahhh.. well
done my friend. You see how painless that was? You just diffused
any defense that she could have prepared. You just broke the ice. It
was as simple as that. Now bring in the humor. If you're on line for
food you can say, Im starving; I think I'm going to order 1 of
everything". Now this isn't the funniest line ever but it's all you need.
It's enough to get a little smile out of her and keep the conversation
flowing. Now you throw in a little more small talk to keep the
conversation moving along. Remember everything else that I've been
teaching you throughout this book and don't forget to start using the
techniques while you're talking to her. You might want to read this
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book several times so the techniques become a natural part of your
repertoire. Start looking at her body language. Are her pupils dilated?
Is she primping? If she seems to be responding positively then keep it
up - you'll have her number in no time. If you're not getting good body
language signals - don't worry about it! She may just be nervous. I
suggest using body language to tell when a woman is into you, but
not really to take the signs to heart when they seem negative. While
talking to her, try to step outside yourself. By stepping outside of
yourself you will become less self conscious and will connect with her
better. While talking to her, repeat this to yourself several times, "We
are now completely connecting". This is a trick I learned from spiritual
guru Deepak Chopra. I was skeptical about it at first but I started
trying it and believe it or not it works. It will make your body give off
subtle signals of connection which she'll pick up on. Okay so some
"innocent" small talk has been established and it's now time to turn
up the heat. Here's the time to throw in a compliment. Read the
section about compliments in this book to learn the right and wrong
ways to give them. The ideal compliment is flattering and followed
with something slightly cocky and humorous. Here are a couple of
examples you can use:
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"You have really cute dimples. Not as cute as mine, but still cute"
"I like your shoes", pause and wait for response. Then say, Are you
like 5'2" without them on?" - Girls tend to wear big heels these days
to make themselves taller. If she has big ones on, this is a great
compliment because it tells her you appreciate her style (girls spend
half their damn salary on shoes), and it's also good to get a laugh out
of her. If she laughs you can follow this up with, "What's with women
wearing these huge heels these days?" Also, make sure youre
specific with compliments - dont say Youre beautiful. Tell her what
is beautiful about her. Never compliment the obvious either. If she
has beautiful eyes, dont compliment her on her eyes. Chances are
that every other guy her entire life has complimented her on her eyes.
Instead, find something unique to compliment her on - something that
shes never heard before. This will make her think that you really
appreciate beauty and particularly her beauty.
Getting The Digits
Now's the time to get her phone number. You should only spend
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about 3 minutes on all of the above actions. You don't want to spend
lots of time on this. It's just not necessary. Now, here is exactly what
you say to get her number. "You seem like a really cool girl, give me
your number and let's continue this conversation over dinner some
time". As you are saying this, take out your cell phone and assume
that she's going to give it to you. After years of practicing and reading
about every technique in the world people use to get a girl's number,
I've found this method the most effective. The only one that works
better is if you can elicit a similar interest from her and use it to get
her number. For example, if you found out you like a similar band,
you'd say, "Ya know what, give me your number and let's go check
out a show some time". If you found out she wants to see a certain
movie, you say, "Give me your number and I'll take you out to see it".
It's not always easy to establish this interest in a few sentences so if
you can't do it, just go with the first example I gave you.
Many times when you ask for a woman's number she'll say
something like, "Give me yours and I'll call you". Don't fall for this!
First of all it's very rare that she'll actually call you. Even if you think
she seems really interested, she still probably won't call mainly just
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because women are programmed not to call men first. She'll either
get too nervous to call or her inner voice will tell her that it's not okay
to call a guy first. I know this may seem ironic because she's the one
who asked for your number, but remember that women aren't logical
creatures. Much of what they do is illogical. If she says shell take
your number, just pretend that she didn't even say it and respond by
taking out your cell phone as if you're getting ready to type in her
number into your phone book. Now say, "C'mon, cough up the
number. I promise I'm not too much of a stalker" - and then laugh.
Really expect to get the number. Show no hesitance in your voice. If
she keeps up with her routine and still doesn't give it to you, let her
know that you know this game. Just be like, "Hey, I really enjoyed
talking to you tonight. I definitely want to see you again but I'm not
really into the whole game of me giving you my number. That never
works out. Just give me your number and I'll call you". Dont give in to
her. She'll appreciate that you stood your ground. If she still keeps
this up you can "give in without giving in". Just say, "Okay, ya know
what, if youre that scared of me calling you for some silly reason,
give me your email address". If she says no to this - SHE'S NOT
WORTH YOUR TIME! Just say, "Okay well, I'm not giving you my
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number so maybe Ill see you around some time and we can talk
more". If you live in a small town or a place where you might actually
see her again this is a great move. The next time she sees you, she'll
be all over you!
Chapter 9: The Art Of Conversation

The thought of trying to stop a hot woman on the street and getting
her number can be very scary or even seemingly impossible for some
guys. I used to think that but now the number 1 place I go to pick up
women is on the city streets. If you live in a rural area get your lazy
ass to the city! The main reason I choose the city streets is because
there are a plethora of women there. Now because I know this can be
really petrifying for some guys I have a simple exercise to loosen you
up. If you do nothing else in this book, I want you to try at least this. I
want you to walk up to ten different women and just ask them for the
time. Put your watch in your pocket before doing one. Work on asking
with a big smile and make eye contact. Thats it. Its nothing to be
nervous about you simply want the time. Then once you do that 10
times, I want you to do this 5 more times, but now try to keep the
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conversation going for an extra few sentences. Remember, theres no
pressure here. Its just a simple exercise to help you learn to develop
rapport. Dont worry about getting her number yet. Okay so once they
give you the time, say, thanks a lot... my watch stopped working. I
just bought the thing last month and it already stopped working. What
a waste of 400 bucks. Then let out a little laugh. This will get you
used to developing conversation with women. I actually secretly
combined two tactics in that one comment. Not only did you learn to
get a conversation started, but you also used a tactic I call Sibing
(Sneaking In Brags). You threw in the fact that you spent $400 dollars
on your watch. This insinuates that you have money or at least care
about yourself and appreciate quality - If you didnt, you wouldnt
have spent $400 on a watch. Sibs are great because they allow you
to brag about yourself while appearing humble. You dont want to
come right and say, Hey Im rich, athletic and all around amazing.
Instead you need to use a combination of actually demonstrating
these facts and throwing in Sibs here and there. Okay so now that
youve gotten used to going up and starting a conversation with
women, well go into some specific conversation techniques.
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Presuppositions
When we were kids we used presuppositions all the time to get our
parents to give us what we wanted without even realizing we were
using them. Presuppositions are an inborn tactic of manipulation that
we have used in our lives sometimes slightly and sometimes
blatantly. A presupposition is a way of wording a question or
statement in a way that presupposes the recipient already agrees
with some part of what you are saying by trivializing it. Lets say
youve met a girl at bar and you want to get her to go out with you.
Instead of saying, Do you want to go out to dinner with me on
Friday? - Say something like this, We should go out to dinner this
weekend. I know an amazing Indian restaurant downtown - or theres
a really nice Italian place I know that makes the best Chicken Marsala
youll ever taste. What do you like better Indian or Italian? By
presupposing that she has already agreed to go out with her youve
made it difficult for her to say no to you. Shell probably answer with
something like, well I really like Italian food. Now you say, Okay
cool so Friday at 8 works for me. There you go again. You made
another presupposition you presupposed that her answer of I really
like Italian food meant yes. Now just take out your cell phone or a
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piece of paper and pen and tell her to give you her number. You
basically just set up dinner plans with her, without her even having a
chance to say no. At this point her subconscious mind will begin
rationalizing all of the reasons why she should go to dinner with you.
She wont even be 100% sure about what exactly was said in the
conversation but she too will begin to assume that she said yes to
you. Will this work every single time? No but it will increase your
success rate dramatically. Try it out for yourself. You may even want
to prepare some other ways you can use presuppositions in your
repertoire ahead of time. Have fun with it! Remember this whole
dating thing is a game and youre supposed to have a great time with
it.
The Confident Listener
Always listen! Being a good listener is actually more important than
being a good talker. People love to talk about themselves. Ask
questions about her and then listen attentively. Now remember that
youre not kissing ass here. Show a genuine interest but dont seem
overly impressed. I dont care if she tells you shes a Playboy
playmate dont seem overly impressed! If she tells you she was a
Dallas Cowboys cheerleader - dont seem overly impressed! You
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need to stay in the mindset that you are the impressive one. She
should be impressed with your confidence and general presence. Sit
back, relaxed and poised but then ask questions like, that must have
been exciting were you a cheerleader in high school? That shows
that you care about what she is saying but doesnt tip her off to what
you are really thinking which is probably, Oh my God!!! Im out with a
Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader!
Open ended Questions
Ask open-ended questions. Try to avoid asking yes or no questions
but instead phrase your questions so that the response will be more
elaborate. For example, if youre at dinner, instead of asking, Do you
like your food? say, I love this place. What was the best part of your
meal?, followed by, What are some of your favorite restaurants
around here?.
Avoiding the uncomfortable silence
Weve all been there. Youre sitting at dinner; your hands start to get
sweaty and she looks bored. The conversation is barely moving and
then all of a sudden it hits - BAM! Absolutely nothing! A painful, awful
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silence. She looks at you like you are the most boring human being
on the planet. You feel like a total loser and rapidly start to search
your seemingly empty brain for anything to say. You feel like youd
rather be dead. How do we avoid situations like this? The first way
seems way too simple but it works. Have 5 emergency topics to talk
about as soon as the awkward silence hits. Before the date, look at
the front page of the newspaper and/or go online and find some
current pop culture news and come up with 5 specific things to talk
about. Write them down and loosely memorize them before your date
and save them for emergencies. Dont waste these unless you have
absolutely nothing else to talk about. If you use these early in the
date then you wont have any safeties to latch on to when you need
them.
Another technique for avoiding the awkward silence is to embrace it.
When it gets quiet - sit back - take big, deep breath. Stretch out and
say, Ahhhh I feel so relaxed Im having a good time - I think its
great when two people can be around each other and not have to talk
continuously. Its cool when you can just enjoy each others presence,
good food, nice atmosphere. She will instantly feel at ease. The thing
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that puts the awkward in awkward silence is the fact that you dont
seem comfortable. Now youve let her know that what your feeling is
completely opposite of uncomfortable. You are actually so
comfortable that youre fine with the fact that its quiet. In fact - youre
enjoying the silence. Whatever you do - never admit that you feel the
uncomfortable silence or that you have run out of things to say. This
is an instant signal that you are not sure of yourself and youre not
even man enough to carry the conversation. This is how a womans
mind works. She will think, If this guy cant even lead this
conversation, how is he going to lead a family some day? How is he
going to be able to protect me?
Whats In A Name?
Try to use her name here and there during conversation. Instead of
saying, tell me more about you, say, So Lisa, tell me more about
yourself. Women love to hear their own name. The more you use her
name in conversation, the more shell feel comfortable with you.
Whispering
One way to instantly strike a chord with a woman and begin creating
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a sexual mood is to whisper in her ear. If you are a loud bar or club
you have a perfect excuse to lean in for a few whispers. If she seems
to be comfortable with it, you should keep talking in this manner and
try to keep this entire conversation in this tone. Try to get very close
to her ear. If you are not somewhere loud you can pull her over and
whisper a comment in her ear about someone in the near vicinity.
Don't say something too mean about anyone, but something that you
wouldn't want the whole place to hear. By the way - Never belittle
others. When you do so, you appear weak.
Lip Watching
This is a great technique to help prepare her for a potential kiss at the
end of the night. When she is talking, hold good eye contact with her
and then glance down at her lips and watch them for about 3
seconds. Do this periodically throughout the date. This will project the
concept of you kissing her into her mind and thereby make it easy for
her to accept your kiss at the end of the night. It's a way of letting her
know that you find her attractive and you want to kiss her without
coming out and saying, "I want to kiss you later".
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Effectively Using Humor
Ask any woman what they are looking for in a man and you're sure to
hear that they want someone who can make them laugh. Humor is
one of the most powerful tools you can use to attract women. Women
assume that if someone makes them laugh, they must like them. This
is the reason that 65% of commercials use humor to sell their
products. Humor sells - it's that simple. Laughing makes you feel
good. Humor breaks down barriers and defense mechanisms
creating instant rapport. The assumption is that if a commercial
makes you laugh then you'll have good feelings about the product.
The same is true with women. The key is to be funny in a playful, fun
way. You don't want to be goofy in an annoying little brother kind of
way. When you make a woman laugh often, she'll associate you with
good times and feeling good.
A prominent reason that women love to laugh is because laughter
arouses feeling. Keep in mind that women are not creatures of logic.
They are creatures of feeling. Laughter is a profound process that
involves every major system in the body. It's spiritual, physiological,
and emotional. Laughter is unreasonable, illogical, and irrational.
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Laughter exists for its own sake. Infants laugh strictly because it feels
good. They learn to laugh first and later on develop a sense of humor,
which is a playfully intellectual way of relating to the world. Yes
laughter can be intellectual, but its roots are in pure feeling.
By making a woman laugh, you make her feel. When you make a
woman laugh, you make her heart rate and blood pressure go way
up, and then drop down way below the norm. When a woman laughs
her diaphragm convulses and her internal organs get massaged. As
she takes in the massive amounts of air, her blood becomes
oxygenated. She also loses muscle control, which relaxes her
skeletal system. Laughter causes her brain to produce hormones
called beta endorphins. What do all of these effects have in common?
They are the same biological processes that occur during sexual
arousal. By making her laugh you are actually putting her in a more
sexual state.
Become an Authority Figure
Its embedded in us since we were kids to respect and listen to
authority figures. Therefore it only makes sense that a woman will
respect and obey us if we become an authority figure in her eyes.
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This is one reason that tall guys tend to do better with women. When
a girl looks up at a tall guy her subconscious mind puts her into a
state of obedience. She starts to respect the guy just because she
has to look up to speak to him. Now this doesnt mean that you need
to be tall to project this kind of authority (although I do recommend
wearing shoes with good sized heels if you are less than 6 tall). A
great way to make her look at you in this way is to become a guru.
Tell her things she doesnt know about. Keep a few rare facts in your
repertoire and youll be sure to be looked at as a teacher. This is so
easy to do and so many guys dont do it. Go out and read some
interesting books. Take a seminar about something intriguing that not
many people know about. Once you have this knowledge, all you
have to do is keep it in mind and use it on a date. It sounds simple
doesnt it? So why doesnt every guy do it. They are too lazy to learn
anything interesting and to prepare their lecture about it.
Sneaking in Sex Talk
Never start talking about sex on a date or with a girl youve just met
until youve already established a mental connection and she feels
really comfortable with you. Theres no better way to shoot down your
chances of actually having sex with her than to start talking about sex
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early on in the conversation with a woman. Once youve established
a kinesthetic connection by breaking the touch barrier (which I
discuss elsewhere in this book), and have a comfortable conversation
going, you can start to gradually bring sex into the conversation. You
should start talking about sex using a third party example to see how
she reacts and whether she gets involved in the topic or rapidly
changes the conversation. Its especially effective if you use a female
friend of yours as the third party. The first thing you want to do is to
create a lead in. You want to get on an unassuming topic that will
lead perfectly into your sexual story. Lets say youve just finished
eating dinner and its time for desert. Start looking through the desert
menu and start talking with her about the choices. Point out
something like the apple pie and say, mmmmmThat sounds good,
I could go for apple pie with some whip cream on top lots of
whipped cream. Actually that might get all messy. Then let out a little
chuckle like you just thought of a story. She may even ask what
youre chuckling about. Either way, the next thing you say is, My
friend Diana was telling me the other day that for her boyfriends
birthday she put whipped cream all over herself, and put cherries
over both of her nipples. She made him lick it all off. Now see how
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she responds. If she laughs and goes with it, its an open door to start
talking about sex. Try out this exact dialogue on your next day. Its
okay to quote what I wrote word for word. Thats why Im writing this
to help you out as much as possible. Once the subject is on sex,
dont veer off the subject. Keep talking about it. The more she talks
about it with you the more shell comfortable with the idea of actually
having sex with you.
Details
Pay attention to details. You'll be amazed at how much women really
appreciate it when you notice small details or changes in them. Pay
attention to her hair, nails, clothes, weight, etc. Here's a tip that will
prove to her that you pay attention to details. On a first date,
remember what color her finger nails are. Then on the second date
look at her nails (assuming they are a different color now) and say,
"Thats a nice color. The pink was nice last time, but I think I like this
color on you even more". She will be amazed that you noticed and
remembered what color her nails were last time. Also, she'll be
excited to stay looking pretty for you in the future. She'll start to think
about you the next time she goes to get her hair and nails done.
She'll get excited to look hot for you and she'll look forward to
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impressing you further.
The Triple R Technique
So, youve gone on a date with a girl and you really like her. Now you
want to make sure that she wants to continue dating you. One way to
assure a second date is to be very attentive on the first date to one
specific topic that SHE brought up. The first step to The Triple R
Technique is Remembering. Remember as much as possible about
a specific topic that she spoke about. Try to pick a topic that she
seemed very interested in. To demonstrate this technique Ill use a
specific situation where I used it recently. I was out a restaurant on a
first date with an extremely beautiful woman. She was really into
cooking. She was telling me about all he different recipes that she
loved to prepare. I could tell that she was really passionate about it.
So what did I do after the date? I moved on to the second R and did
some simple Research. I went to the food networks website and
found some upcoming shows that looked interesting. You can just as
easily go to tvguide.com and do a search for anything she might have
been talking about. For example, if she was really into tennis, you can
search for upcoming shows or tennis or search elsewhere online for
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upcoming tennis events. The next thing I did was called her a few
days after our date and I got her voicemail. So I took this opportunity
to perform the third R of the triple R Technique. I Recited the new
information that I gathered. I remembered she spoke about how she
loved making all different kinds of pasta sauces. In my message I
included, Oh, by the way, Emeril is making his Penne Vodka sauce
on his show tomorrow night on the Food Network. I doubt its as good
as yours but I figured Id let you know if you wanted to pick up a few
tips. Always have this prepared before your phone call after the first
date. This way, if she was semi-interested in you and lets her phone
go to voicemail, you have just increased your chances substantially of
her calling you back. She will love the fact that you actually listened to
what she was saying and took an active interest in it. Shell be
amazed because I highly doubt any other guys have ever done this,
thereby making you different and interesting.
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Part 4: Unstoppable
Techniques For Attracting
Women
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Chapter 10: Specific Techniques To

Be Used In Battle
RELAX!
First of all, before you use any of the techniques taught in this book,
you must learn to seem relaxed. Never be methodical. Now I know
this may sound funny because basically the things I'm teaching you in
this course are part of a method for attracting women. The key is to
never make it look like you are using a method or using pre-planned
techniques for picking them up. You have to make it all seem natural
and nonchalant. When a boxer throws a punch that the opponent
sees coming, it's called telegraphing. No matter how good a boxers
technique is, if he telegraphs his punches they are not effective.
Many times a boxer doesn't even know that he's telegraphing his
punches. It's his old habits that he isnt aware of that give away what
he is doing. In the same way, if a woman senses that you are
telegraphing your seduction techniques they will not be effective. A
good way to avoid telegraphing the techniques I am teaching you is
to relax. Do some deep breathing before you go out. Before you go
out to meet women or before a date, go to a quiet place and take in
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20 good deep breaths. Breathe in very deeply and hold it for at least
ten seconds. Then breathe out for even longer than you breathed in.
Repeat this process 20 times. This will release toxins and help
stimulate your lymph system which will relax you. When you are
relaxed, you will be able to use these techniques with much less
effort. They won't look contrived at all.
Cross The Comfort Line
I remember a few years back I had a gorgeous woman come up and
ask me the time. She was incredible. She had a body to die for, long
flowing hair and the face of a supermodel. She then proceeded to
walk along side me and started talking about how humid it was out. I
simply agreed and said something insignificant like, "yeah - it is". She
walked at my pace for a few more seconds and then proceeded to
cross the street and she was out of my life - FOREVER! I thought
about this for days after. Why didn't I say anything? Why did I just
walk along and pretend that we were just a couple of buddies chatting
about the weather. The opportunity was right there and I blew it. Why
didn't I ask for her number? After a lot of thought I realized what the
problem was. The friendly groove we fell into felt so natural that I
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didn't want to make any waves or to appear creepy by asking for her
number. I didn't want to take the chance of crossing her comfort line.
It's a natural tendency to think it might be inappropriate to take the
friendly conversation to the next level. There is a fear that this will
somehow cross a line and you'll destroy the friendly moment. So
what!!!! Is it better to let her walk out of your life forever? These are
opportunities we can't let pass us by. Always make sure you ask for a
phone number after talking a woman that you have interest in.
Look Like Youre Enjoying Yourself
If there is one thing you can do at a bar or club that will increase your
chances with women tenfold is to look like your having a great time.
Remember the Cindy Lauper song Girls Just Wanna Have Fun?.
This is probably the truest statement every made about women. Guys
go out to get laid. Girls go out to have fun. So if youre not in the fun
mindset dont even bother going out. I was always a pretty popular
guy and had lots of different groups of guy friends I would go out with.
There was one particular crew that I used to go out with and every
single time Id go out with them Id meet tons of hot women. At the
time I thought it was just the places we were going to. They used to
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love these 2 or 3 particular places. I used to rave to people about
these places telling them that you are guaranteed to pick up if they
went there. Then Id get phone calls from these other guys telling me
that they didnt think the places were anything special. This got me
thinking, If these places werent anything special, how the hell were
we doing so well with women there? Then I realized what it was.
What was different about these guys and most guys I had been
hanging out with is that they were actually fun. We all laughed and
had conversation with each other flowing. We all hit the dance floor.
We were always smiling and making jokes. Women completely
gravitated to us. They wanted to be around us because they too
wanted to have fun.
The Forced Favor Technique
Several years back when starting my own business I sat down for a
consultation with a friend of my family who was the head of Fortune
500 Company. I don't want to mention his name here but let's just say
that he is very intelligent and extremely business savvy. He said that
the single most important piece of business advice he could give me
was to get people to do you favors. When he told me this I just stared
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at him blankly thinking, "That's it? I get to sit down with a business
man of his caliber and that's his big advice for me? Then he
continued on to tell me that when people do a favor for you, they
automatically assume that they like you. The psychology behind it is
that the person subconsciously tells him/herself, "I just did a favor for
this person - I must like him. I don't do favors for people that I don't
like". I instantly applied this technique in business and in the art of
meeting women and I've coined it my "Forced Favor Technique".
The logic applies perfectly to meeting women. If you can get a
woman to do a favor for you, no matter how small, you instantly begin
to crumble her defenses. She will immediately begin to assume that
she likes you. Let's look at a few specific and very practical ways you
can apply this technique.
At The Gym
The next time you're at the gym, ask an attractive woman for a spot.
This is a non-threatening way to get a conversation going and at the
same time gets her to do a favor for you. This technique is especially
good because it also lets her know that you respect her and are
confident enough in your masculinity to ask a woman for a spot. Once
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she does this favor for you, she'll automatically assume on a
subconscious level that she must like you. Her subconscious would
have a hard time rationalizing the fact she just spotted someone that
she doesn't like. This is the perfect time to go in for the kill and get
the digits.
At The Beach
Situate yourself near one or more women that you interest in. Pick
out one woman that you like and when it's time to go for a swim in the
ocean, ask her if she'll watch your towel and clothes for you. She
won't have too much of choice but to say yes. Go for your swim,
come back and then use the rest of your tools to seal the deal.
These are just a couple of examples of how to get a woman to do
favors for you but I'm sure you can think of more in all kinds of
situations. Get creative and have fun with it!
The Walk Away
This is great to use when picking up a woman at a bar or club.
Approach a woman and start a conversation with her. After a few

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minutes, once you have her attention, tell you that youll be back.
Then go back and hang out with your friends. This will get her
thinking several things. First of all, it will tell her that youre there to
have a good time with your friends and that youre not desperately
trying to meet someone. It will also get her hoping that youll come
back. Shell be wondering if she was interesting or good looking
enough. Shell be hoping and praying that you come back so that she
knows shes good enough for you. Also, this instantly puts you in
control of the situation. You are now in the driver seat. BAM!!! With
one move you accomplished all this! Now walk back over after a
while and finish what you started!
Playing on her insecurities
Heres a technique that is extremely effective for breaking though the
facade of a woman who is acting like shes too good for you. Let her
know that youre aware of her secret insecurities and you arent afraid
to point them out. Now wait a second!! This is not an invitation to
insult her. Instead I will show you crafty methods for pointing out her
insecurities in ways that will make you seem confident (because no
wimp would have the nerve to call her out) and discerning. Here is an
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example of what Im talking about. During conversation, casually say,
Im trying to picture what youd look like with longer hair. You should
grow your hair out. It would work better with your symmetrical facial
structure. With this one comment, you actually gave a compliment
and at the same time played on a major insecurity. Women spend
tons of time and money on their hair and for you to say that just
showed tremendous guts. You just proved that youre not some wimp
and got her thinking, Wow, this guy just might be in my league. I
thought he was drooling all over me but apparently Im going to have
to work at getting and keeping his interest. Youve just made yourself
ten times more challenging and at the same time given her a
compliment and an insult that she cant even get mad at you about.
You have just put yourself on the level of a strong, discerning guy
whos not just going to fall for any hot chick that comes his way. If
you just said, Your hair looks terrible, you would have alarmed her
instant defense mechanisms and just made yourself look like a jerk.
Another one that works well is, You should wear a little less makeup.
Your face is so beautiful. Id love to see you with a more natural look.
These are quick ways to shift the momentum of the conversation. If
you can tell that she feels superior to you and that shes starting to
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feel that shes above your league, this technique is great for leveling
the playing field. Instantly you will trigger tons of inner insecurities
and keep her on her toes for the rest of the date. The key here is not
to come across as a jerk when saying these things. Keep it light,
playful and smile a lot. The last thing you want to seem is mean and
bitter.
Pretend Shes Ugly
Are you Mr. Suave when it comes to talking to ugly women but you
become a nervous idiot when the girl is really hot? Youre not alone.
Many guys that Ive coached have expressed this same thing. What
you need to do when confronted with this situation is - pretend that
shes the ugly girl that you know wants you. I know it may be hard to
do but just keep telling yourself that shes not really hot and that she
wants you badly. A major reason that guys are smoother around less
attractive women is because they assume that the woman wants
them. You need to really fool yourself into believing that this girl isnt
that special and she really wants you. Try to envision, what would I
be saying right now if this girl was ugly and extremely interested in
me?
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Indifference
Think of a time when a girl liked you but you had no interest in her.
It's likely that you were flattered but you still didn't really care that she
existed. The more you ignored her and the more indifferent you acted
toward her advances the more she seemed to want you. What was it
about this indifferent attitude that drew her closer to you? There are
two major reasons for this. The first one is that people want what they
can't have. Think about when you were a kid and your parents told
you that you couldn't have something. This made you want it ten
times more. This is one reason why women often find themselves
attracted to men who are already in a relationship. Also, this
indifference shows that you are an independent man who's in control
of his situation. You don't NEED anything. Women love a man who is
not needy.
So now let's look at what you do with a woman who you are really
into - The kind of woman who you can't get off your mind - The one
who gives you the butterflies in your stomach. Every instinct in you
tells you to be anything but indifferent. This instinct is the number 1
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reason why men fail with women. This is the single most important
lesson in this book. Your instincts will lead you to want to tell her how
much you like her and shower her with attention. This puts an
awkward pressure on a woman - A pressure that shell do anything
to avoid. You have to start treating this woman exactly like girl who
you had no interest in. This doesn't mean you should be as hard as a
rock. You need to show just enough interest to keep her attention.
You also need to use strategic vulnerability. Take a look at James
Bond. He always seems cool, calm and collected. He has beautiful
women around him but always seems indifferent to them. He's not
mean to them nor does he make it look obvious that he's trying to
appear indifferent. He does however allow moments of vulnerability
that make women draw close to him.
One key way you can harness this power of indifference is to always
keep meeting other women. Even though you've found the one
woman that makes your heart go pitter-patter, still actively seek other
women. This will keep you busy and in a state where you're more
likely to exhibit a natural indifference. The amazing part about it is
that these new women will like you too because they'll sense that
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you're indifferent to them too. Before you know it you'll have a web of
women in your life and guess what? You'll genuinely be indifferent to
all of them because you have so much going on, you won't be able to
do all the silly things like calling all the time, or gift buying or ass
kissing - and they'll all keep wanting you more and more because of
it. It's at this point that you can choose whichever one you want and
actually get her with ease.
Mixed Signals
If you talk to unhappily married women you'll find that one of their
biggest complaints about their husbands is that he is so predictable.
Women HATE predictability. They thrive on spontaneity on every
level. Now I'm not here to teach you to be Mr. Spontaneous for the
next 50 years, but you can definitely learn to seem unpredictable at
the beginning of a relationship with no problem. Sending mixed
signals will show that you are anything but boring and predictable. I
firmly believe that a woman would prefer a toothless 400 pound guy
who is fun and spontaneous over a boring, predictable guy with good
looks. I am not even exaggerating. That is how strongly I feel that you
cannot afford to be predictable with a beautiful woman. Let's face it -
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Beautiful women have plenty of choices when it comes to dating.
They can probably get almost any man they want. So once you have
her slightly interested in you, you NEED to keep her interest. It's not
the time to sit back and say, "I got her. I can relax and be myself
now". That attitude is the quickest way to make sure that she loses
interest. You need to be difficult to figure out. This is what women are
talking about when they say that they want a mysterious guy. Think
about a puzzle. It's lots of fun when you're trying to figure out how to
put the pieces together, but once you have it all figured out it loses all
of it's intrigue. It doesn't excite you anymore. You've conquered it - it's
finished. Well I hate to break it too you but if you don't keep a woman
guessing and trying to figure you out, they'll get bored and look for a
new "puzzle" to solve. Now, once you really, really have a woman
(and this doesn't usually fully happen until about a year) you don't
have to be such a mystery to keep her. Other hormonal instincts will
kick in that will make her want to settle down with you and she'll feel
good just being comfortable with you. Although it's still a good idea to
too always stay somewhat mysterious and spontaneous to keep her
on her toes. But at the beginning it's not a choice. You need to send
all kinds of mixed signals. Be tough and macho, but be soft and
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sensitive. Sometimes answer the phone and act excited to hear from
her. Other times act like youre too busy to talk. Show interest in her,
but be elusive. Give her tons of attention and then take it away. Make
her yearn for it. Tell her she's a sweet girl and then call her a brat
later on. Now I know some people are reading this and saying, "Do I
really have to play all of these games? Can't I just act natural?" The
answer is YES, you do need to play all of the games and YES you
should act natural. Be natural and relaxed but have fun with these
little games. Make them a natural part of your repertoire. I know it can
be annoying that you have to play these kinds of games but when it
comes to keeping a beautiful woman interested in you at the
beginning, you really have to do this stuff. In a perfect world, this
dating game would be simple but keeping an attractive woman
interested requires tact and effort.
Get Your Props
A great prop can make the process of picking up women much
easier. A prop becomes an instant topic of conversation. Also, many
times a girl will find you attractive and not know exactly how to
approach you. That's right - girls get tongue tied, and nervous about
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the approach too! One way to make it easy for her to approach you is
by giving her a prop to talk about.
One of the greatest props a guy can get is a dog. Whether it's at a
dog walking park or just on the street, a dog is a perfect prop to get
conversations going with women. How can a woman resist a guy
walking a cute, bright eyed fur-ball? Dogs work especially well with
women who also have dogs. You don't even have to have your own
dog to make this work for you. After all, dogs can also be a pain in the
ass. You have to walk them, clean up their crap and clean dog hair
off your clothes all the time. Here's a perfect solution. Ask a friend if
you can take their dog for a walk once in a while. They'll be happy to
let you do it because it gives them a break from having to walk it. If
you have a dog walking park or an area where lots of people walk
dogs, go there. Find a woman who you find attractive and walk your
dog near her. Your dog will probably start playing with and sniffing
away at her dog in no time. Do I need to say more? It's really that
simple. Now you have an excuse to start talking to her and the best
part is that you immediately have something in common. Don't make
brain surgery out of it. Just start talking about the dogs.
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Another great prop that I use all the time is a funny t-shirt. I don't
really wear these out to bars and clubs much but they're perfect for
the gym or during the day on the street. Why wear a plain Hanes t-
shirt when you can wear a shirt with something catchy on it that will
get women laughing and talking to you? It's pretty much a no-brainer.
I have met more women because THEY came up and talked to ME
about my t-shirts. Some of the best ones that I have say:
"I'm What Willis Was Talking About"
"I Taught Your Boyfriend That Thing You Like"
"BEARDS They Grow On You
These ALWAYS get laughs out of girls and actually get women
approaching me all the time about them. To find shirts like these just
do a search for funny t-shirts in Google. There are a bunch of good
sites out there that have some hilarious shirts. One site that always
has a bunch of new stuff is wittyshirts.com. Some of the shirts are
really offensive or just plain corny so make sure you choose carefully.
If you're unsure if a shirt is a good choice or not, ask a female friend if
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she thinks it's funny, corny or just plain offensive.
Buy Her A Drink?
Never buy a woman a drink. Its logical to assume that if you buy a
woman a drink at the bar that shell like you. After all, arent we
supposed to like people who buy things for us? Yes, this seems
logical enough, but remember women are not logical creatures!
Want to know what youre really saying when you buy a woman
drink? Im a sucker. Im weak and Im trying to buy your attention
because I have nothing else better to offer. Never offer to buy a
woman a drink. Many times a woman will accept the drink and stand
with you for a little while, but its most likely out of pity. A lot of guys
have the idea that if they order her a drink and get her to stay around
them for a while and drink it, then itll allow them enough time to
charm her. This does make some sense and if you employ some of
my strategies from this book once you have her in your vicinity, you
do have a chance of getting her. The problem is that you have set up
an uphill battle for yourself because she already thinks you are weak
and a sucker. There are many better ways to get her attention and
get her to have her stay around you so dont bother with the drink
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buying thing. Also, dont buy her a drink if she asks you to. Women
love free drinks and theyre usually not very shy about asking for
them. Now I dont mean that when youre out on a date you shouldnt
buy her drinks but when first picking her up, DONT DO IT! I know its
hard to say no. She knows its hard to say no too thats why shes
asking you. This is also a way for her to test how much of a man you
are. By giving in right away and getting her the drink, shell assume
that youll give in all the time about other things too. Another reason
that you shouldnt offer to buy a woman a drink is because its
overdone. Every other idiot at the bar has tried this approach on her
for years and you dont want to be like every other guy. If she asks
you to buy her a drink, simply respond with a cocky but humorous
response like, Im not in the habit of buying drinks for girls Im not
dating. If you play your cards right with me, maybe Ill take you on a
date and buy you some.
Chapter 11: Technique Gone Wrong

- Mistakes Guys Make With Women
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Mistake 1: Modeling The Wrong Guys
One major mistake that I see average joes make time after time is
assuming that they can use the same approach as very good looking
guys. They see a good looking guy breaking all of the rules that Ive
been teaching you and they think that the same rules apply to them. I
hate to tell you this, but the cold reality is that very good looking guys
can say almost anything and women will take to them like a magnet. I
know it sucks, but its a fact of life. These guys can be oblivious and
break almost every rule in the book and women will often look past all
of their mistakes and still be with them. You CANT do the same
things these guys do and expect the same results they get.
Mistake 2: Using Desperate Measures To Save a Date
On a date, guys will attempt all kinds of things when he feels a
woman's interest level in him is dwindling. I'm about to tell you some
desperate methods guys use on dates when they sense that she's
not into him. If you use any of them, STOP immediately!
Acting Too Cool
When sensing a woman isn't really feeling him, some guys turn into
Mr. Too Cool for the situation. They try to brag about all the women
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they get. They start to get really cocky and arrogant. They hope that
by being this cool guy, the girl will say, "wow, I thought he was a dud.
He's so cool. He gets all kinds of girls and he must be a stud. I'm
starting to find this bad boy hot!". WRONG, WRONG, WRONG,
WRONG. Do you want to know what they are really thinking? "Oh my
God this is pathetic. He saw that I was finding him dull and now he's
switched up his whole persona to try and get me to like him. What a
loser". Women know exactly what you are trying to do when you pull
this act, so don't do it!
Searching For Pity
Sometimes a guy will just blatantly bring up the fact that the girl
doesn't seem interested in him. He'll start putting his head down and
looking down and acting like a sick puppy dog. Let me give a huge
piece of advice - She's not going to sleep with you because she feels
bad for you. Never use the pity approach. By admitting that you
notice she's not interested in you before she says it, you'll seem
extremely self conscious and destroy any slight chance you have left.
Acting Totally Disinterested
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Another mechanism that guys employ when are girl has lost interest
in him is to pretend that they are not interested in her either. Guess
what, she's not fooled. She hasn't forgotten that a few minutes ago
you were all over her.
Getting Wild
This is one that always makes me laugh. A guy who turns into Mr.
Wild when hoping to gain back her attention. He assumes that if he
gets totally crazy, she'll start to see him as a fun, wild guy and be
attracted to it. He starts doing all kinds of show-off acts like slamming
shots, dancing like a maniac and all kinds of other stupid things. Do
you know what she sees? A total sucker. She knows exactly what
has happened. She remembers that you were Mr. Dud for the first
half of the date. She realizes that you must have sensed her
disinterest and now you've gone to extreme, ridiculous measures to
get her attention back. Either that or she'll think you just got really
drunk and sloppy. Either way - you're not getting laid!
Don't bother with any of the attempts I've mentioned above. They
don't work! If you watch reality dating shows you see pathetic guys
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resorting to these methods all the time. Actually, its a good idea to
study reality dating shows. If watch these shows enough you start to
pick up on things that guys do wrong on dates. I remember a while
back when they used to air the dating shows Elimidate, The 5th
wheel, Shipmates and Blind Date in a row every night. I used to
watch all of them whenever I could to study exactly what guys did
wrong in different dating situations.
Mistake 3: Growing Complacent
Most guys think that once they get past the second date or so that
their job is done. They think they got the girl and they already begin to
grow complacent. What they don't realize is that it's at this point that
women start to experience something known as cognitive
dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is a term often used in advertising
to describe the feeling of discomfort that a buyer feels after making a
substantial purchase. The discomfort arises when the buyer has
chosen one product over another. The more expensive the product is,
the more the feeling of discomfort. After buying a Mercedes Benz, the
purchaser will usually feel cognitive dissonance soon after purchase.
Thoughts like these fill the buyers mind:
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"Did I make the right choice?"
"Should I have gone with the BMW?"
"Was my cousin really right about the Audi having a smoother ride?"
To women, the man she chooses in her life is the biggest "purchase"
she'll ever make. While you think you got the girl already, she's going
through extreme feelings of cognitive dissonance. She begins to
think, "Did I choose the right guy? Is he as good a kisser as Joey
was? Does my family really like him? Could I feel even stronger
feelings for another guy?" In the advertising world, it is thought that
the more choices the consumer has, the more cognitive dissonance
they will feel. In the Benz example, the purchaser only has a few
choices to worry about. A beautiful girl has millions of choices. She
can have almost any guy she wants. This creates extreme cognitive
dissonance in her. A funny phenomenon that advertisers have
noticed is that purchaser will actually try to convince or even fool
themselves into believing that they made the right decision by
seeking out reasons why they made the right purchase. The new
owner of the Benz would go out of their way to read many more ads
about Mercedes Benz than about other cars they didn't choose. They
would tend to avoid reading ads about cars they considered but did
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not purchase. They'll reread the attractive brochure that sold them on
the purchase to make sure the car stays appealing in their mind.
Women do these exact same things in a relationship. They WANT to
find reasons to support their decision of "purchasing" you. All you
have to do is give her some reasons and most guys have grown
complacent enough at this point to stop giving any reasons. They
think that the purchasing process is over. These guys wouldnt last 5
minutes in the advertising world. She's dying to rationalize to herself
why she chose you over the millions of guys out there in the world.
Give her reasons not to experience this dissonance. Stay
spontaneous, throw surprises into the mix and stay exciting!
Mistake 4: Looking Desperate
Have you ever noticed that when you are already in a relationship
you meet more women than you ever did when you were single?
Every time I get myself involved in a relationship and go out with the
guys, I cant keep women away from me. I find myself thinking,
Where the hell were all of these women when I was single!!?? Why
are they all over me now? The main reason is because I dont need
them. I am not desperate at all, and women can smell desperation
like three year old cheese. Of course there are degrees of
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desperation and you may only be exhibiting signs of slight
desperation. I want to teach you to be aware of these signs and to
make sure youre showing no signs of desperation. Here are some
dead giveaways that you are desperate and how to avoid displaying
them in the future:
Eyeing Too Many Women
At a club or bar are you eyeing every girl in the place? This is a dead
giveaway that you are desperate. Lots of guys think that women dont
notice when you stare at every girl that walks by like a hawk. When a
hot girl passes you by, do you have to check out her ass as she
walks by? Even if you do this subtly, if you do it enough times, other
women in the place will notice and instantly begin to perceive this as
desperation. Now I know its hard not to stare, especially with the way
women dress these days, but you have to resist the urge! Is staring at
that one girl worth lowering your chance of meeting the rest of the
women in the place?
Paying Too Much Attention To Her
When you meet a girl at a bar or club, are you hanging all over her?
Stop this immediately! You need to make it clear that you dont need
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her. If you show too much interest or attention you risk the chance of
looking desperate. Its okay to let a woman know that you have some
interest, but when you give her too much attention you will look
desperate. Let her know that you have some interest and then play it
cool. If you play it cool enough and use my other pick up techniques
you should be able to get her number. Once you have her number
the battle isnt over. Do not start paying too much attention to her
over the phone either. You dont want to signal her desperation alert.
Are you calling too much? When you get a womans number you
shouldnt call her much between the first call and the first date. In
fact, if you do it right, you only call her once, chat for a little bit
thereby reestablishing the rapport that you developed when you first
met her, and then plan a date. You need to sound interested, and
enthusiastic about the date, but also very busy. Make sure that you
are the one to end the call. The key is to sound like you have a lot
going on in your life. Heres a trick to make this easier: Actually have
a lot going on in your life! Get hobbies, hang with your guy friends,
read books, etc.
Mistake 5: Low Energy
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Projecting a low energy level is a huge mistake that guys make on
dates. As soon as a woman perceives you as having low energy,
she'll immediately begin to lose interest. Right away she begins to
think, "If he has this little energy now, imagine how he'll be if we were
married for five years. He'll be the guy on the couch all day with his
hand down his pants and his beer belly sticking out". This is how
women think. They rapidly make extreme judgments and create vivid
pictures in their minds about you based on every little thing you do
when you are first dating. No woman wants a man who they see as
having low energy. Here are some things you might do unknowingly
that make you seem low energy.
Speaking in a monotone voice
a monotone voice screams, "I'm boring". Work on animating your
voice. I go into more detail about this in the voice section of this
course.
Having lazy eyes
This can be a lifelong habit that you might not even know you do.
Your eyes say so much about you. All of those songs and sayings
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about eyes, didn't come about for no reason. Girls think of the eyes
as the windows to the soul. You can use your eyes to say a lot about
yourself. Do you let your eyelids droop without realizing it. Stop
reading this for a minute and go look at yourself in the mirror.
Envision yourself on a first date. Picture yourself in her presence.
How are your eyes? Are they less than halfway open? Are you
looking down a lot? Now open them wider and look straight ahead
with your chin up. See how much more alive you look. Now I'm not
saying that you should have your eyes blaringly wide open, but you
need to open them up more than usual. You can go back to your
relaxed "droopy" eyes here and there but you need to be expressive
and keep they open wider at least some of the time. Use your
eyebrows a lot to express yourself. You can practice this kind of stuff
in the mirror. There is a time to keep you eyes more squinted to
create mystery and intrigue but at first you need to at least show them
that you have passion and enthusiasm in your eyes.
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Part 5: Body Language and

Voice
121
Chapter 12: Secrets Of Body

Language
It's not enough to assume you're going to brush your hair, throw
together a nice outfit and women are just going to be attracted you.
You need to learn to create a sexual dynamic between you and the
woman. You need to make a woman feel chemistry for you. You hear
women saying all the time that they just didn't have that chemistry
with their date. Well, I'm here to let you know that you can actually
create this chemistry in her. This feeling of chemistry cannot be left
up to chance. You have so many tools and techniques to make her
begin feeling this chemistry with you.
Most guys just assume that if a woman seems disinterested in them,
they must just not be her type. They go on date after date and arouse
very little interest in the woman assuming she must like only rich guys
or that she only dates guys with Tom Cruise looks or something.
They really believe that they are there to just lay their cards on the
table and see if she finds them attractive. This couldn't be further
from the truth. The problem is that they are doing nothing to MAKE
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HER feel sexual attraction to them. Unlike men who can get in the
mood when a stiff breeze passes, women don't fall easily into the
mood. It takes finesse and technique. Also, many men make the
mistake of assuming they can wait until they get a woman back to
their place to start getting her in the mood. You need to begin
sexually stimulating her from the beginning of the date.
Using and understanding body language is one of the best weapons
you can use to attract women and to understand when they are
attracted to you. If you want to begin creating a sexual dynamic with a
woman you need to understand body language thoroughly.
Kinesthetics
Kinesthetics (Kino) is the association of a particular moment with a
touch or feeling. Establishing touch with a woman upon first meeting
is very important. Women will remember your meeting much more
clearly and for a longer period of time if you establish touch with her.
If Im being introduced to a woman I always greet her with hand
shake accompanied by a kiss on the cheek (dont do this in a
business situation). Kissing her on the cheek along with a firm hand
shake held longer than normal immediately accomplishes so many
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things. It establishes a kino connection that will help her remember
you. It also shows that you are bold and not afraid of taking action.
Another thing it does is immediately takes away the chance of you
falling into the friend zone. With that kiss you secure your spot as an
affectionate, sexual being.
Another great way to begin the kino process is to lean in when she
asks you something and gently touch her arm or back. Begin to pay
attention to how she reacts. Does she stiffen up and pull away? Does
she go with it? Does she lean in closer to you? Does she touch you
back? Pay close attention to these clues because theyll help you
gauge how shell respond to your kiss attempt later on. So many guys
are oblivious to how shell react at the time of going in for the kiss. By
that point I can usually tell exactly how shell respond.
If the opportunity for establishing kino doesnt seem to be happening
you need to create it. Reach over and brush something out of her hair
and then act as though it fell on the back of her shoulder and gently
brush it to the floor. There doesnt need to really be anything in her
hair. Just brush it off first and then say, you had something in your
hair. Trust me shes not going to search around on the floor until
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she finds the thing that was in her hair. Shell take your word for it.
This is also a great technique because it makes her feel at ease with
you. Her subconscious will make her feel like youve known each
other for a while because only someone that shes really close with
would be concerned and comfortable enough to take something out
of her hair.
A perfect opportunity to keep kino going is to occasionally bump your
feet against hers under the table. You can even take it a step further
and make a little joke saying, Are you trying to play footsie with me?
I knew you liked me. See how she responds to the little game youve
started. If she is very receptive you can move on to more intense
flirting.
The Protector
Women have a very strong internal desire to feel safe and protected.
When a woman is hugging or resting her head on the chest of a man
shes into, youll often here her say, You make me feel so safe. I
always thought this was kind of funny. I remember when girlfriends
used to say this to me, Id always think, Safe from what? Are we
under attack or something? After doing years of research about the
125
genetic make-up of women, it now makes perfect sense to me.
Women are genetically programmed to look for a provider and
protector. All of the womens lib activism in the world cant change
this fact. There are several ways you can use touch to make a
woman feel safe and protected. Heres one that you should use on
every first date if you are driving in you car. When pulling up to a
stoplight, pretend that you dont see that there is a red light ahead.
Then at the last minute look up and act like you just saw that it is red
and hit the brakes. Dont slam the brakes too hard. Just hit them hard
enough so that she will go forward a few inches. As shes going
forward, reach across her as if youre trying to stop her from going out
the windshield. Most of us remember this from when mom used to do
it to us when we were a kid. With this one move youve instantly
satisfied her internal need to find a protector.
Another way to portray yourself as a strong protector is to use your
arm as a barrier between her and other people. This works very well
in a crowded bar or restaurant. When youre walking though a crowd,
put your arm behind her back creating a shield to prevent people from
126
pushing or bumping into her. This is a perfect way to let her know
that youre a protector. She will recognize and respect you for this.
The Cheek Attack
A technique I like to use to initiate kino is the Cheek Attack. This is
will establish body contact and open the door for a kiss on the lips
later on. Wait for a moment when everything seems to be going right.
A great time to use the Cheek Attack is after you just told a funny joke
and shes laughing. Wait until she turns sideways or is glancing away.
You want to get a clear look at her cheek first. Then just slide in and
give her kiss on the cheek. Dont dart in and ram your face into hers.
Make your approach quickly and then as soon as you get within an
inch, slow down and make it nice and soft. Then tell her, I couldnt
resist. You just looked too cute laughing.
Tease and touch
Remember when you were a kid and you used to play silly games
with girls like pulling their hair, play-fighting, and throwing dirt on
them? The reason you did this stuff was because it was sure to get
their attention. Fast forward to today and they still love this kind of
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playful teasing that borders on being mean. Now, you have to be sure
not to do this in a truly mean way. It should be done in a fun and
playful way. Heres one example of how to use this playful teasing to
establish kino. I like to actually start a play fight with a girl. This is not
good at the initial pick-up point but works well after youve been
around a girl for at least an hour. Look for a good way to start the play
fight dont just start out of nowhere. For example if she mentions
shes been working out, this is a perfect time to initiate the fight. Say
something like, oh yeah? So ya gettin buff? I think I can take ya.
Then square off and start giving her very, very light jabs toward her
stomach. When she blocks low, go high and vice versa. Just barely
make contact with her. This makes you seem fun and it also breaks
the touch barrier. This is a great way to initiate contact with a
woman. Once you do this itll make the transition to touching of a
more sexual nature easy. She will subconsciously think, I let him
touch me already. I must like him. A little more touching cant
hurt.
Mirroring and Manipulation
One way to establish rapport with a woman and to begin the process
128
of developing chemistry is mirroring. Pay attention to how she is
positioned. Which way is she leaning? Which way are her legs
crossed? Is she leaning forward or backward? Carefully begin to start
putting your body in a similar position she is in. Try to mimic her body
positioning as closely as possible (without looking like a woman).
Don't make this too obvious. As you try it you'll see that it's not very
hard to do. Then pay attention to shifts in her body movement. As she
shifts position, you shift position. This will subconsciously begin to
develop a bond with you and stimulate her level of attraction to you.
Now start to change your position here and there. See if she follows.
If she starts to follow your positioning changes, keep making them.
Just casually shift positions. If you try it for a little while and shes not
following you, go back to mirroring her positioning again. Keep that
going for a while and then try to get her to change along with you
again. This will begin to establish you as a leader. While she
unknowingly follows your body positioning she'll subconsciously
begin to see you as the leader of the situation. If you can't get her to
follow your positioning - don't worry about it. Just go back to mirroring
her. This will be effective enough and will make her believe that you
two are on the same wave length.
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Understanding Her Body Language
Understanding a woman's body language can be a great way to tell if
she is attracted to you. Time after time I hear guys saying that they're
not sure whether or not a woman is interested. I've even heard this
many times from really good looking guys who have women throwing
signs at them left and right. It's amazing to me how oblivious most
guys are to a woman's body language signals. The great thing about
body language is that even when a woman tries to hide her interest -
she usually can't. Her body language is a dead giveaway for what
she's really thinking. However there are some exceptions to this.
While body language is very important I don't want you to get
discouraged if you aren't seeing any signs. First of all, beautiful
woman who are used to getting approached all the time can
sometimes turn off most body language by convincing themselves
that they aren't interested in you. Some women won't give you a
chance off the bat because they have built up an inner dialogue that
totally consumes them as soon as they see a guy approaching. This
is one reason why standard pick-up lines dont work. When you try a
standard pick-up line, you are telling a woman, Im here to pick you
130
up, and very often theyll instinctively turn off body language. Even if
she's giving you no signs of interest at the beginning, have no fear -
Use the techniques Ive been teaching you in this book and youll get
her body language to change from negative to positive in no time. But
for now let's assume she isn't being a complete cold fish and she's at
least acknowledged your presence. There are many facets of body
language that one can observe when judging a woman's level of
attraction. Actually at any given time during a conversation there are
over a thousand different signals you can look for! Imagine that -
once you begin to understand these signals you can never be in the
dark again about whether a woman is interested in you. Let's start by
breaking down each facet of language.
Eye Contact and Movement
The first facet we will look at is eye contact and movement. This can
tell us a lot about what she's thinking.
Prolonged Eye Contact
One of the most obvious signs of interest is prolonged eye contact.
Does she hold eye contact with you even slightly more than what
131
seems normal? If so, you are doing great.
Pupil Dilation
Look at her pupils. Are they dilated? Dilated pupils are a sign of
arousal. When a human being sees something of great interest, their
pupils dilate significantly. In a dark place it can be hard to tell if they
are dilated so in some cases you may have to look to other forms of
body language to detect interest.
Blinking
Pay attention to her blink rate. Rapid blinking can also be a dead
giveaway that she's interested. When some has nervous attraction
energy, one way they diffuse it is by blinking rapidly.
Eyebrow Raising
A woman will often show interest by raising her eyes browse for an
extended period of time accompanied by a smile and then lowering
them.
Leg Crossing
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If a womans legs are crossed in your direction (top knee pointing
toward you) this may be an indication that shes attracted to you.
Chapter 13: Voice

Your voice is the vehicle which will help create a first impression and
therefore is extremely important. Guys will spend lots of time trying to
dress and act right to get women but they often completely neglect
working on their voice, which can be much more important than the
other things.
A good voice can penetrate her outer shell and resonate deep within
her, arousing passion and excitement. A dull, wimpy voice can put
her inner desires to sleep, even if what youre saying is interesting. I
have worked on my voice so much that I can keep any woman on the
edge of her seat while conversing with her.
The first thing that you need to work on is tone. Women respond well
to a deep, bass filled voice. A deep voice literally resonates inside her
and arouses all kinds of feelings. A deep, powerful voice speaks
directly to a womans subconscious mind.
133
You need to immediately begin working on your voice. My voice was
pretty high and weak before I starting working on it. I want you to
begin recording yourself having a fake conversation with a woman.
Please do this. Too often we read books and skip right through the
part where there is work involved but Im begging you to do this. Its a
worthwhile investment for the rest of your dating life. Go out and get a
tape recorder or some other recording device. With a microphone you
can record yourself right on your computer. Just say things like, Hi,
how are you? Its nice to meet you. Now play back the recording and
listen to your voice. Hate what you hear? I thought so. This is what
women hear when you are talking to them. Now work on saying the
same things in a deeper tone. Feel the words vibrate and resonate in
your chest.
Here are some methods that will help you develop a strong, deep
voice. Practice these every day:
Work on Diaphragmatic breathing
This is breathing from your belly. It fuels your voice and releases
tension from your upper body. Place one hand over your belly button.
Inhale slowly one long breath through your mouth while silently
134
counting to ten. Your stomach should expand, pushing your hand
forward while your shoulders and chest should not move. Feel your
hand move out as you pull the breath deep into your lungs. Now, hold
that breath and count to ten. Next, exhale the breath through your
mouth while counting to ten. Practice this for a little while until it
becomes comfortable. Now work on adding sound. Start by making
the "Haaa" sound, using up an entire breath on just that one sound.
Take in a full belly breath, and as you exhale say a very gentle and
quiet sustained Haaaaaa until you run out of air. Do it again and
make sure you really open your mouth as you softly sustain the Ha.
Once you've done this a few times, start to release tension from your
neck and shoulders. Lift your shoulders up toward your ears, hold
them for a count of five, and then let them drop, completely releasing
them. Next, combine the shoulder bounce with the Ha. With your
hands relaxed by your sides, take a full belly breath, and then exhale
a gentle sustained Haaaa, running out of air as you did before. Only
this time, while you are doing the Ha, simultaneously do the shoulder
bounce for the entire time you are making sound.
135
- Take a deep diaphramic breathe and say the "AH" sound for as long
as you can. Write down how long you can hold it for so you can
gauge your improvement
- Glide from the lowest note to the highest note while saying
"OOOOO". Try to keep it slow and steady even if your voice breaks
keep going. Glide from the highest note to the lowest note while
saying it. Try not to have breaks in your voice but if you do, dont
stop.
- Say, Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm for about 30 seconds. Do
this 10 times in a row. Pay close attention to how the vibrations feel.
Do this every day and eventually youll start to become more aware of
the vibrations in your everyday speech. The humming will also help
strengthen and deepen your voice.
Try to be very conscious of using this new deeper voice tone in every
day conversation. Make it a part of your every day routine and it will
slowly become your new real voice.
Animate Your Voice
136
You also need to work on animating your voice. Change the pace and
pitch throughout the conversation. Work on pronouncing all syllables
of words and speaking more clearly.
Enjoy the feeling of keeping someone interested in listening to you -
Its empowering. Remember, you are an important person and youre
worth listening to!
Part 6: Romance and Style
137
Chapter 14: Romance Done Right

Once you get a woman back to your place the battle is not completely
over. You can really mess things up at this point if youre not careful.
First of all you have to make sure your place is clean. Pay attention to
details here guys. Soap scum on the shower floor, hair from shaving
in the sink, tons of tissues in the trash can, laundry on the floor -
these things are major turn-offs.
Setting the mood
When you invite a girl in for the first time be a gentlemen to put her at
ease. This is not the time to play Mr. Cocky guy. Take her coat if she
is wearing one and tell her to sit down and make herself at home. If
138
its early enough in the night you can point out that you have a movie
collection and invite her to look through it while you go make yourself
a drink. If its after 1:00 a movie is really not that practical so just
throw some TV on and give her the remote and tell her to flip around.
As your making yourself a drink, tell her that youre making yourself
one and ask if she wants one. Dont be pushy about the drink thing.
You dont want her to think youre trying to get her drunk. Then come
back, sit beside her and keep the conversation flow going just like it
was before she came in to your place. So many guys try to turn into
Mr. Smooth all of a sudden when they get a girl back to their place.
Dont suddenly change the type of conversation or break up the flow
of things at this point. Itll take her at least 15 minutes to get
comfortable.
Player Alarms
A major mistake that many guys make is dimming the lights as soon
as they get the girl onto the couch. This is one of several Player
Alarms that men often do that make women think, Oh God, hes
about to make a move. Another thing that a lot of guys do is turn on
some romantic music right away. This is another major alarm that
139
screams, I m a player and Im about to try to get into your pants. A
really smooth guy doesnt set off these alarms in women. A smooth
guy lets her flip through the TV channels for a while, keeps the
conversation going for a little bit and then casually strolls over to the
CD player and asks her if she wants to listen to some music. Also -
dont turn the TV off and fiddle around with your music collection for a
long time in silence. Have some music nearby so you can get it
playing fairly quickly. Dont have it already cued up because then it
looks like you had it all set up. Remember - women love spontaneity.
If any of this looks contrived its an instant turn-off. Choice of music is
not to be underestimated. Now I know that when many guys think
romantic music they have visions of Barry White and other standard
love song singing pop artists but I have to say many women find this
stuff cheesy. I know a lot of you are reading this saying, cmon -
chicks love that stuff, and I agree that lots do love that kind of music
but it also screams cheesy!!!. It also shows a lack of originality.
Heres your chance to keep some intrigue going. Come up with
something more original. A few artists that are great for this are Portis
Head, Bjork and Massive Attack to name a few. They are sexy,
different, mysterious and they dont yell, I learned my romantic
140
musical taste from American Idol.
Chapter 15: Style

If you want to make the battle of attracting women easier for yourself,
you need to sharpen your weapons. If you went into a battle would
you be content with rusty tanks and outdated guns? Of course not. In
the same way, you shouldnt go out to meet women with a sub par
appearance.
All you need are 3 great pairs of pants/jeans and 3 great shirts -
spend the big money on them. Dont but 50 cheap $10 shirts. Until
you get a serious girlfriend. Then youll have to get more variety
because shell start to notice that you only wear the same shirts. But
in all practicality you only need a couple of good outfits. A great belt is
very key too. Remember - women notice details!!!! Always match
your shoes to your belt. If you have a red shirt - go the extra mile and
get red shaded sun glasses to match. Your friend Joey wont notice
that you matched them but women will - Trust me! Think about how
much time women spend shopping and reading fashion magazines.
141
This should be a big red flag that lets you know that they really, really
care about this stuff and if we as men dont start worrying about
fashion then well be dropped like a bad habit.
Dont wear pants or button down shirts that are over 2 years old.
Yeah they might be your favorite pair of jeans or it might be a shirt
that your favorite Aunt Tessie bought you but you have to throw them
away or give them to charity. YOU may not notice whats wrong with
them, but WOMEN will. Fashion designers use a technique called
planned obscelesence. They change the fit on clothes slightly every
year or sometimes every few months to make older clothes look out
of style so you have to spend money buying new ones. Women are
well aware of this concept; hence they spend half of their paycheck
trying to keep up with the latest fashions. You might not notice the
variations in the size of your shirt collar or the taper of your jeans but
women have eyes like hawks for this kind of stuff.
Get in shape!
Get to a gym right away. Im not going to into too much detail here,
but you have to get yourself on some kind of training regimen. If
142
youre too lazy to workout and get in shape then just stop reading
here because you really dont want to meet women that badly. You
dont have to be Arnold, but theres really no excuse to at least get
your waist lean and have a little bit of muscle tone. Clean up your diet
and do at least an hour of some kind of weight training and cardio 4
or more days a week.
Conclusion
I hope you enjoyed the ebook portion of The Art Of War For Dating
System. I strongly suggest reading this several times until the
material becomes second nature. Remember repetition is the
mother of success. Keep a look out for my advanced CD and DVD
series where I will get even more specific and delve into extremely
advanced techniques. You can stay updated on the newest Art Of
War For Dating products by periodically checking on this webpage:
http://www.datingwar.com/insider.htm
This is a secret page that is only available to people who have read
this ebook course. I will keep that page updated with my newest stuff
so you can get it before I even release it to the public.
143
Id like to sincerely thank you for reading this and I look further to
coaching you even further in the future!
- Spencer Michaels

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The Art Of War For Dating

How To Conquer Any Woman, Anytime, Anywhere

Part 1: How Women Work

Part 2: How To Be The Guy You Need To Be To

Part 3: The Approach and The Art Of

Part 4: Unstoppable Techniques For Attracting

Part 5: Body Language and Voice

Part 6: Romance and Style

resourcefulness, momentum, cunning, flexibility, integrity, secrecy,

speed, positioning, surprise, deception and manipulation to defeat an

opponent. He used phrases like, Lure them in with the prospect of

gain, take them by confusion" and "Invincibility is in oneself,

vulnerability is in the opponent." In this book I will teach you to take

on a totally new, almost war-like mindset in order to show you how to

finish reading this book you will immediately be able to utilize an

arsenal of proven methods and techniques for conquering beautiful

to learn from it so that we dont keep making the same mistakes.

Meeting and attracting beautiful women is an art. Its not random at

sooner or later they will start responding to these same methods

YOU ARE INSANE!

Why Listen To Me?

Heres a little background on me and some reasons why you should

all of a sudden read a bunch of stuff and started getting tons of

mistakes that most guys make with them. I got my degree in

Psychology from a major university which taught me a lot about

while promoting and managing nightclubs in New York City for 8

years. For years, I spent at least 5 nights a week at the hottest

nightclubs in New York City surrounded by the hottest and most

attitude infused women in the world. In my early twenties I developed

an extreme desire to really understand the dynamics between men

studied every program there is about relationships and attracting

women. Ive read literally thousands of books on the topic. Since

and research and combined it with my first hand experience in the

nightclubs of New York City to bring you the best, no-nonsense

information on the topic.

Part 1: How Women Work

Chapter 1: How Women Think

Do you find yourself listening to the advice of female friends about

because of hormones and thousands of years of genetic coding. She

is constantly battling whether to follow primal urges or to listen to

advice from womens magazines or friends, or her conscience. One

To prove this, all we need to do is look at the book "Blink" written by

Malcolm Gladwell. In the book he examines what he calls "The power

of thinking without thinking". The concept is that the reasons that we

SAY we do things are often very different than the reasons we

actually do them. Gladwell talks about a study done by two Columbia

University professors who set up speed dating events in New York

different women to see if there was an attraction there. After meeting

addresses. The professors asked all of the women to fill out a

women to rate what they were looking for in a mate on a scale of 1 to

10. The categories are: Attractiveness, shared Interests, sense of

humor, sincerity, intelligence and ambition. After each 6 minute date,

scale. After repeating this "experiment" an innumerous amount of

times what the professors found was astounding. The questionnaire

choose were often completely opposite. Another amazing observation

would completely change. She'd all of a sudden rank attractive and

the questionnaire out.

confidence and technique to "complete" it. The description that she

goes out the window when subconscious thought, feelings and

easily become the type of man she wants.

Throw Logic Out the Window

creatures of FEELING. They don't use their brains to feel attraction

are genetically programmed to use feeling, not logic, as their primary