Running head: PSYCHOLOGY 1

How self-hatred affects relationships

Institutional Affiliation

How self-hatred affects relationships

Executive Summary
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Self hatred is a condition that develops slowly in an individual as a result of several triggers

within and without an individual. It is a condition that can be defined as defined as an extreme

disliking or hatred for oneself through being angry or by being prejudiced against oneself. It is

associated with other conditions that may affect an individual and how he/she relates to other

people around. Some of the impacts of self hatred include paranoid beliefs that make an individual

feel more vulnerable to the external society. This feeling makes one to fear other people and thus

his relationships with other people are hampered. In addition, self-hatred is a form of hatred

whose products are similar to hatred on other people. For instance, hatred lead to a strong

negative feeling that may eventually lead to acts of violence on the hated person. Likewise, self

hatred may eventually lead to thoughts of harming oneself or even suicide. This research, on the

contrary finds that low self esteem is not related to violence or aggression, implying that people

with high esteem, or rather who feel good about themselves tend to be more aggressive, especially

if their ego is challenged. However, having low self esteem or self hatred creates relationships

hinged on fear of conflict and failure, thus dishonesty in such relationships. Generally, self hatred

is destructive to an individuals relationships with other as it induces character change that may be

hostile to other people. They house self-defeating mindsets that tend to push away other people.

The Psychology of hatred by Jos I. Navarro, Esperanza Marchena and Inmaculada Menacho

Navarro, Marchena and Menacho (2013) define hatred as a deep and an emotionally extreme

dislike that can drive a person to extreme behaviors such as murder, violence, war, and suicide.

Hatred is thus a strong negative feeling against an object of the hatred and thus the object hated is

seen as bad, dangerous, and immoral.

Hatred is seen in day-to-day experience and cannot only be expressed in words but also in deeds.

For instance, the constant attack of the blacks in the US by the white supremacists, the Jews

killing the Palestinians, pro-abortion gynecologists being murdered by anti-abortion fanatics, the
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genocides such as that of Rwanda, and the terrorist attacks such as that of September 11 are signs

of hatred. It is however important to note that not all instances of violence are a result of hate.

Hate is built on a complex mix of cognitions and emotions with the cognitive component arising

from the devaluation of the person hated and the perception of them as a threat. The emotional

part of hate come from the feelings of anger, fear, hostility, and distress (Navarro, Marchena and

Menacho, 2013).

Hatred develops gradually from minor feelings of being hated, disliked, oppressed or

discriminated. Therefore, as time goes, devaluation of the person takes place slowly such that at

the end the person being hated loses all moral and human consideration in the eye of the hater. As

the intensity of the hatred increases empathy reduces, a fanatical obligation to get rid of the

person arises and this may be manifested in inflicting damage to the person or even murdering the

person. Certain adversity in our lives such as jealousy, failure, guilt can trigger and intensify

hatred.

Therefore, from the above definitions of hatred, self hatred can be defined as an extreme disliking

or hatred for oneself through being angry or by being prejudiced against oneself. A person with

self-hatred can thus develop similar feelings and opinions about himself as would have been felt on

another person, thus he/she, after devaluing himself, can go ahead and harm himself.

Threatened egotism, narcissism, self-esteem, and direct and displaced aggression: Does self-

love or self-hate lead to violence? By Brad J. Bushman and Roy F. Baumeister

In a study to determine if narcissism and low self-esteem leads to violence, Bushman and

Baumeister (1998) found out that indeed narcissism leads to violence, especially if their ego is

threatened. It found out that narcissists are more aggressive and hostile than any other group of

people. Likewise, they found out that people with lower self esteem are not as violent as common

knowledge would predict, rather people with high esteem would become more violent if their ego
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is challenged. Their results suggested that self-esteem, as measured by the Rosenberg scale, did

not have any direct link to aggression and that the most aggressive people are likely to be those

with high opinions of themselves.

Self hatred is a symptom of low self esteem, therefore it can be concluded from the findings that

self hatred makes an individual less aggressive and thus may relate well with other people.

However, it is important to note that such relationships are based on submission and avoidance of

conflict by the individual with self hatred. Therefore, such relationships are not healthy and are not

stable. Therefore, in as much as some people with self hatred show politeness, they only do so due

to low self esteem but not through genuine honesty.

Paranoid Beliefs and Self-Criticism in Students by Mills, Gilbert, Bellew, McEwan and Gale

In their study to explored hostile and compassionate self-to-self relating in regard to paranoid

beliefs among students, Mills, Gilbert, Bellew, McEwan and Gale (2007) found out that paranoid

beliefs in students are associated with being highly self-critical. It also found out that problems in

being self-reassuring and kind to the self is another cause of paranoid beliefs. Thus, they

concluded that self-hatred is a significant predictor of paranoid beliefs. An elevated sense of threat

both from within and without is a cause of paranoid beliefs.

Paranoid beliefs tend to show that the social world is experienced as threatening rather than

helpful, thus the need to defend self against social threats (Mills, Gilbert, Bellew, McEwan &

Gale, 2007). The people with paranoid beliefs more often feel may feel vulnerable to others and to

their own self-criticism. This belief is heightened by self-hatred. Therefore, it can be concluded

that self hatred increases the changes of an individual being protective against the social world.

This ultimately affects their relationship with other people as most of the people with self hate will
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tend to withdraw from the social gatherings and would tend to be secretive rather than open and

free with other people.

The effect of self esteem on the development of interpersonal relationships by Dumitriu,

Tobolcea and Dumitriu

Dumitriu, Tobolcea and Dumitriu (2010) found out that communication is an essential element of

any relationship. They however realized that lower self esteem or self hatred creates

communication barriers due to the psychological and social distance created. Subjects with high

self esteem are very confident in their abilities, thus they develop communication relationships

with ease. In addition, they are assertive, and they get involved easily in group activities.

Eventually, such individuals succeed in reaching their goals hence are successful. Generally, in a

group, a person with self hatred will find it hard to associate with other members of the group and

thus will not contribute in the processes of the group. This is because such an individual will find

it hard to accept that others will accept him/her as well as her opinions which he seen as inferior.

References

Bushman, J., & Baumeister, F. (1998). Threatened egotism, narcissism, self-esteem, and direct

and displaced aggression: Does self-love or self-hate lead to violence? Journal of

Personality and Social Psychology, 75, 1, 219-229

Dumitriu, C., Tobolcea, J., & Dumitriu, G. (2010). The effect of self esteem on the development

of interpersonal relationships. Lucrri tiinifice, 53, 1, 211-214

Mills, A., Gilbert, P., Bellew, R., McEwan, K., & Gale, C. (2007). Paranoid beliefs and self-

criticism in students. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy, 14, 358-364.

Navarro, J., Marchena, E., & Menacho, I. (2013). Psychology of hatred. The Open Criminology

Journal, 6, 10-17
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