JOKES DAT’IL MKE UR TUMMY

PAIN…..!!!

1.
Ek choti si love story

Boy & Girl in restaurant

Boy:-I Love u

Girl:-I dont Love u

Boy:- Think again?

Girl:-I told u. No no & no

Boy :- Waiter,bring seperate bills.

Girl:- ok ok....... I Love u too

Dats jus _me:

2.
Do you know why a mother teaches her son to say F instead
of ma??

bcoz Force = mass X acceleration or F = ma so if d mother

teaches his son to say F instead of ma it wud b all the same!!
3.
2 sardars were crossing railway tracks.they saw a train
coming 2wards them suddenly they bend down y?

bcoz the train was saying

"jhuk jhuk jhuk"

4.
1 Ladke ko kya chhiye????
1 Ladki jo Pyaar de!!!!!!
1 Ladki jo achha Khana banaye!!!!!!
1 Ladki jo Dilse use chahe!!!!!

Aur........

Aur............
Teeno ladkiya ek dusrese na mile! ! ! !

5.
You know y I prescribe Diabetes patients to regularly speak
truth.
…………kyunki sach kadwa hota hai !!!
6.
A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and
he saw Steven Spielberg.
As he was a great fan of his movies,he rushes over to him,
and asks for his autograph.Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap
and says,"You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get
outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied,

"It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour,
it was the Japanese".
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied
Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says,

"You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the
ship, not me."

The Chinese replies,

Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

7.
There were 3 ants in a line...1st ant says there r 2 ants
behind me, 2nd ants says der is 1 ant behind me n 3rd ant
says there are 2 ants behind me...y does d 3rd ant say
so...????
…….because she is lying.
8.
Laloo wants 2 bcum a model so he took some snaps with his
bufelloows

nxt de in da news paper the snap wz

printed............................
caption...........................

laloo....3rd 4m left….!!! lolzzz…!!!

9.
What is d vector form of sridevi??!!
……TABU!!

……cz sridevi did chandni n tabu did chandni bar!!!

10.
Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
…..To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff…..!!

11.
What is Malayali management graduate called?
……… Yem Bee Yae…!!!

12.
Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?

……Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding

and re-tying the lungi…!!!!

13.(abhi)
if i have a crow
who is very soft and sweet
wat will i call him?
MI- CRO-SOFT..!!..lolzz…!!!

14.

Son to sardar : Papa, 5+5 kiney honde ae?

Sardar : Ullu de patte, gadhe, idiot, nalayak, besharam,

haram khor, tujhe kuch nahi aata.

Jaa andar se calculator lekar AA.

--There was a Man who had a habbit of Killing people and

then ringing a bell!!1

What do you think is his profession ?????

.......................................

..................
MARKETING {Mar-ke-ting(sound of a bell)

Microsoft has launched a new software. its related with

cricket...so...what is it called?

MS Dhoni....hehahahahahaaaaaaaa!!!!
-once a man goes 2 a temple and prays

"bhagwan mujhe shakti de....shakti de bhagwan mujhe"

suddenly he dies ...........

y?

here is d answer...

bhagwan gave him shakti.

now shakti is power.

power is voltage X current

i.e
power= voltage X current

and in a temple you dont wear chappal hence no safety

--Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?

A: Because it fell asleep.

Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?

A: It was glued to the first one.

Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?

A: It was a copycat.

Q: Why did the fourth elephant fall out of the tree?

A: It thought this was all a game.

Q: And why did the tree fall down?

A: It thought it was an elephant….deadly!!!

---Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway
track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on
platform?

--wat is the opp of real...

its coconut……say yyyyy????

coz its 'na-real!!!’..lol..

---Y did srk change his luk evrytim he tried a new watch?

coz "HAR GHADI BADAL RAHI HAI ROOP ZINDAGI"