CONFESSION

All I remember was my self so deep in sin. The odour of filth I was strongly could be smelt from miles
away. Hope and Faith I had was already gone with the wind. Chains of darkness so shackled me that I
couldnt seem to unwind. A storm of self blame and judgement always rang a bell. A tide rose, I felt
swayed, off with it I was tossed by its wave. Rain had already fallen on my dreams and visions and all I
could see were scary faces in masks of a doomed future. A future I longed for was now gone blurred by
mist of uncertainties. All my life I had been consumed by greed never wanted to understand what the
society deemed creed. Increasingly it manifested that I only tried to fend for self, a tendency that made
me start to chest thump I rock. But then I was broke. Deep within I was broken. I needed hope, I needed
a life. Wish I could go back in time, crawl back to a time I could innocently manoeuvre the endeavours as
a child. Chills ran down the spine, pills ran down the gut. I thought I could save myself, but I was wrong;
thought I could buy my way to happiness but I was wrong. So deep in debt of sin, gripped by fear and
sorrow that I was afraid to look up. Well, I was bound to a seemingly eternal fate of falsehood.

This was building a story of a thousand times, my heart brewing a rolling tide. I knew from past that I
wasnt the talking type but this, this to me had become a playfield chide. Sleepless, faith sleeveless and
hope in me clive. Streak of awakening to enliven the life missed in action. A war of ideas threatened an
eruption no longer a dormant volcano. Love in the dark groped for a laugh but found hurt. Arms opened
for an embrace but reception cold. My affection offer I guess too big to hold. The resonance in me played
an assonance spelling agony, pronouncing a great efface, inducing fear, doing the feelings override phase
and making unbearable hurt suffice.

I preferred the motto might over right, living a lie my instincts never asking a why cause I felt I already
owned more than I needed. More darkness fell, deep it increasingly became. I tried to fumble my way out
but got lost all the more. My strength gave in and I dropped to the ground. I could feel the end so close,
stench of death inches away. Images of my life passed before me, reflections in quick successions. Deep
voices of laughter spread across the air rendering every minute a living horror but then everything was
still. The voices went silent for a moment and a light spread across, swallowing the darkness that had
reigned. A voice full of love assuringly and gently called from the light Follow me son, I am the way the
truth and the life. I was confused for a moment and then I came back to my senses.

I realized He was by my side all along, all I needed to do was acknowledge my loss of way and
directions, call out to him. You see, from the beginning, life was given to me to live but I guess I was too
nave to understand it. All around felt too hard to believe and in that self cocoon, I felt secluded and
detached from what could build me. I had grown aversive to the truth and as to joy and happiness; I was
optative yet never reached out. He saw my being when I was too rusty, when I was too shy to the truth.
Maybe my self had become rushy to the choices I deemed fit but what a friend I found in Him