BUSINESS/DINING ETIQUETTE

GUIDE
TCU GCC
Contents includes key points and logistical needs for etiquette training
TABLE OF CONTENTS

Contents
What is Etiquette? ________________________________________________________________________________________ 1
Networking Etiquette ____________________________________________________________________________________ 2
Networking Etiquette Session Needs ___________________________________________________________________ 4
Dining Etiquette __________________________________________________________________________________________ 5
Dining Etiquette Session Needs _________________________________________________________________________ 9
Contact Information ____________________________________________________________________________________ 11
TCU Graduate Career Center___________________________________________________________________________ 11
WHAT IS ETIQUETTE?

What is Etiquette?
A MUTUAL RESPECT FOR OTHERS
Etiquette is a mutual respect that we hold for others. As to not offend others, we follow a code of guidelines
that directs our actions and interactions. Yes, guidelines rather than rules or laws, as situations and
expectations change according to the company we keep and the culture in which we are.

Character is defined by what you choose to do when people are not watching. However, character is judged
by what others see us do, and this is why there is such a thing as etiquette.

Beth Pulliam
@emilypostitnote
July 25, 2017

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NETWORKING ETIQUETTE

Networking Etiquette
Networking is an art in todays business society. The adage is it is not what you know, but whom you know.
Moreover, how you present yourself when getting to know someone is key. Further, a network is useful
only when it has been carefully cultivated, and like a garden it takes care and preparation prior to the
harvest. Networking must happen before you need your network. With these premises in mind, we will
explore the guidelines of networking etiquette.

Key points to cover:

Initiating an introduction
Joining a conversation/group
The handshake
The elevator pitch
The ask, or lack thereof
The exit
The follow up

Initiating an introduction:

So you are at a networking event, or maybe youre not you could be in a hotel lobby, elevator, at a
bar (a lot of networking happens in bars), at a conference, at your place of employment, or just waiting in
line, in any of these circumstances there are other people; people to which to say hello, people who someday
might be able to help you, or you help them. These people are your potential network. So what is next? How
do you know these people are supposed to be in your network? You find out by starting with, hello.

Now, to some people saying hello comes naturally, to those who it does not, here are some
guidelines.

You make eye contact with someone, often there is a half-smile or a head nod. If the other person is not
visibly engaged in a stressful situation, or a situation requiring their full attention, then you have the go
ahead to say, Hello. Hi, hows your evening going? The conversation will flow from here, but somebody
has to start it.

Joining a conversation/group:

Picture the previous situation, but now there is a group of people. Someone in the group makes eye
contact, half-smiles or nods, and then looks back into the established group. If there is an opening in the
circle, join. You may stand there for a second soaking in the topic of conversation, but once there is a break
in conversation, you are ready to join. Joining may require a question Interesting, what do you think about

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NETWORKING ETIQUETTE

the new development of X in this context? Are you all enjoying this conference/weather/event?
Interesting, so what brought you all out this evening?

The handshake:

Now, some etiquette trainers will drone on and one about the handshake, so I will not go in depth,
but here are the guidelines. Look the person in the eye when reaching for the handshake. Handshake should
be firm, not lasting for more than a few seconds, and most importantly do not have a cold wet hand.

What? This is a problem? YES! It is startling. How do you avoid it? Hold your drink in the left hand.
Drink holding is its own topic. Drinking in general is also could generate a comprehensive literature.

The elevator pitch:

The elevator pitch is your response when someone asks who you are or what brings you here (to
the event). Your pitch should address who you are, what you do, why you are at the event/what you are
looking for.

The ask, or the lack thereof:

When meeting someone for the first time it is not appropriate to ask for a job. It is appropriate to
ask for their advice, or for advice in a follow up conversation.

The exit:

When exiting the conversation of your new acquaintance(s) thank them for their time, offer your
business card, and a follow up action. It was a pleasure meeting you, lets grab lunch sometime, I am
interested in hearing your more of your thoughts on X.

The follow up:

As mentioned previously, a network is like a garden in that it takes care and maintenance prior to
the harvest. If an acquaintance you met once, 18 months ago, reached out to you and asked for a job
recommendation, would you feel comfortable in giving it? Probably not. However, you might feel
comfortable sharing information with, giving advice to, or maybe even recommending him/her for a
position if you felt like you knew the person over a course of interactions- coffees, lunches, emails. The
follow up and maintenance of a relationship, of a network, is not easy, but if you do not want to care for the
network, then there is no reason planting the seeds in the first place.

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NETWORKING ETIQUETTE SESSION NEEDS

Networking Etiquette Session Needs

SPACE
Ideally, the space has room for participants to get up, move around, shake hands, and form small groups.
Microphone- networking gets loud

REFRESHMENTS
Drinks/mock-tails for comments on how to hold a glass.
Light hors d'oeuvres allows for light intro into dining etiquette.

OTHER
Name tags.

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DINING ETIQUETTE

Dining Etiquette
SEATING
Seating at an event is an important first step for ensuring that the meal flows smoothly. The host is typically
seated at the head of the table. In a business meal or conference meal, seating order is usually unstructured,
but if there is a large group and you are the second to arrive, sit close to the other attendee as to not create
sense of distance. In a formal dinner party one should sit opposite their spouse rather than adjacent.

Additionally, in order to be seated, you have to actually be at the location promptness is of upmost
importance in the business setting. Being on time shows respect for the others with whom you are dining.

For males there is a bit of an extra step, it is proper to seat the female to your right. When the offer is made,
Let me get your chair, pull the chair out and let the female step up to the table. Push the chair in slowly, the
female should begin to sit as soon as she feels the chair touch the back of her legs. The male continues to
push in the chair as the female sits; this reduces scooching.

Purses should be sat beneath the table to the right of ones legs. If jackets are not removed at the host stand,
then they may be folded inside out and placed over the back of the chair.

Once seated, your napkin immediately should go into your lap (fold in half diagonally, and place the widest
part across your hips, arrow pointed down).

When a female excuses herself from the table, males should stand. Remember to seat the female when she
returns if you are the male to her left. In addition, when excusing yourself, your napkin should be folded and
placed on the back of your chair until you return.

Lastly, keep in mind that you are sitting close to someone else, so personal hygiene is of consequence. Be
clean, and do not wear too much perfume or cologne.

PLACE SETTING
**See diagram below**

Share the tip of okay signs with hands, B = bread on left and D = drink on right. The other tip is BMW, in
order left to right, Bread Meal Water. The final tip is five on right; utensils with five letters or more are
to the right of your plate.

If coffee cups are on the table, these remain upside down until the final course, where coffee would be
served. If you desire coffee, turn the cup right side up, if you do not, leave the cup upside down.

If wine glasses are on the table and wine is ordered the server will remove glasses that are not intended for
the specific type of wine that was ordered, or will bring the correct glass shape. If no wine is ordered, then
servers will remove all glass types.

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DINING ETIQUETTE

With table items that are too be shared, passing items must be addressed. If a shared item is located closest
to you, then you are responsible for passing that item. For example, if bread rolls are placed in front of you,
pick up the basket and offer bread to the person to your left, then select a piece for yourself (if desired), and
then pass the item to the right. With all shared items it is proper to first offer to the person seated left of you,
and then pass the item to your right so that it can make its way around the table. Be aware of the items in
front of you, even if you do not require them for your personal meal.

ORDERING
If the menu is not prix fixe (explain what this is), and there is not a buffet, then placing your order comes
into question. The right way to order is to follow your hosts lead. If you host orders the most expensive item
on the menu, then you would also be allowed to order a similar priced item. If the host orders a mid-range
item, then it is wise to also order a mid-ranged item. If you must order before your host, again the safe bet is
the mid-ranged item. The thing to avoid is seeming too extravagant with your order, or too meek so
ordering a side Caesar salad as your entre e is not an option.

Now if the menu does not have prices noted, be aware that typically the menu is structured in items that
cost the least to items that cost the most. Common sense should also make you aware that the lobster dish is
going to be much pricier than the salmon dish, and the salmon is going to be more expensive than the
chicken dish.

When it comes to ordering an alcoholic beverage, follow the host. If the host mentions ordering a glass of
wine, you are allowed to follow again note the prices.

Wine ordering in itself is an art, if you have never ordered a bottle of wine before, then a business meal is
not the place to start. If a bottle is to be ordered and input is needed, employ the help of the sommelier.

Finally, when considering ordering a dessert, again, follow the guidance of the host.

DINING
The main focus of etiquette training typically revolves around the act of eating. The main guideline here is to
eat in such a way where eating is never the focus. This includes noises and actions it is customary in the
United States and most western cultures to chew with your mouth closed and refrain from making noises
while you eat.

While you eat, use utensils. Almost all foods, minus bread, should be consumed with the assistance of
utensils. The fork, or spoon, is held in the left hand and the knife is held in the right. This style also applies to
when cutting food. If you are right-handed this may not feel natural to eat with your left hand- feel free to
eat with your right, but do switch when cutting an item. Further, when cutting items like meats or waffles,
cut only one bite at a time this keeps the dish warm and keeps your plate from looking like a childs.

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DINING ETIQUETTE

Pacing is also important while dining with others. Luckily, in a business setting, no one is going to steal your
food, and you should not be too strictly timed, so there is no need to rush the act of eating. Keep pace with
the others dining with you- it is not a race.

When you a done eating your dish, place your knife and fork, tines down, adjacent to each other, pointing
inwards at the 4 oclock location (imagine your plate is clock).

CONVERSATION
Business meal conversation flows with the pace of the meal. Actual business typically is not brought up until
the entre e portion is served. This allows for relationship building at the beginning of the meal. Follow
networking etiquette during the non-business conversation no need to talk about politics (this includes
office politics or gossip), or religion.

PAYMENT
The general guideline is that the host will pay the bill of the meal. He, who extends the invite, pays the bill. If
that person is you, then you should also be aware of tipping-- 20% is standard.

MISHAPS
With all things revolving around food and dining, mishaps are bound to occur. Mishaps are not the issue
here, it is how they are handled that matters.

What to do if you eat something unpleasant it comes out the same way it went in. Thus, not into your
napkin. Place it on your charger or on your plate in a location that is closest to you, as to not offend anyone
seated around you.

If for some reason the dish you ordered is not prepared correctly, notify the server in a discrete matter for a
replacement, this includes if your dish contains something to which you may be allergic.

If you utensils fall to the floor, again, discreetly notify the waiter for a new utensil. Do NOT put your now
dirty utensil back onto your plate or close to anyone seated around you.

If you need to take food to-go, make sure you are not riding in someone elses car they may not want the
aroma of your food infiltrating their vehicle. Also, make sure your destination has a refrigerator, both for
food safety, but also so that the aroma of the food does not penetrate the work place.

BUFFETS
Often at conferences, there are buffet lines. When it comes to buffet lines there are a few guidelines to follow.

Standing in line:

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DINING ETIQUETTE

When you are in line, keep conversations light and brief at some point, you will be at the food station and
heavy conversation will slow down the line. Additionally, be aware of personal space. In the US, most people
prefer their personal space to not be invaded, so leave some room between you and the person in front of
you.

Filling your plate:

You have two hands, be aware of what it is in the buffet and how many dishes you will have to carry. Do not
over load yourself. Secondly, do not over load your plate, you dont want to over indulge in an item, as there
might not be enough left for the persons behind you how awkward would it be for someone at your table
to comment about not being able to try the mashed potatoes and then your plate looks like a mashed potato
mountain?

Buffet utensils:

Simple rule here: use them. Do not touch ANYTHING with your hands. Further, set the serving utensils back
on the plate/holder, rather than setting them on the table or in the dish. If the utensils started out in the
dish, it may be acceptable to return the utensil to the dish, but make sure that the portion, which your hand
touched, is not touching the remaining food or items.

When to eat:

When at a conference wait for at least one other member of the party to return before eating your meal. If
your business meal is at a buffet style restaurant, then wait for your host to return before eating.

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DINING ETIQUETTE SESSION NEEDS

Dining Etiquette Session Needs

Table settings:

(a) Dinner Plate: This is the hub of the wheel and is usually the first thing to be set on the table. In our
illustration, the dinner plate would be placed where the napkin is, with the napkin on top of the plate.

(b) Two Forks: The forks are placed to the left of the plate. The dinner fork, the larger of the two forks, is
used for the main course; the smaller fork is used for a salad or an appetizer. The forks are arranged
according to when you need to use them, following an outside-in order. If the small fork is needed for an
appetizer or a salad served before the main course, then it is placed on the left (outside) of the dinner fork; if
the salad is served after the main course, then the small fork is placed to the right (inside) of the dinner fork,
next to the plate.

(c) Napkin: The napkin is folded or put in a napkin ring and placed either to the left of the forks or on the
center of the dinner plate. Sometimes, a folded napkin is placed under the forks.

(d) Dinner Knife: The dinner knife is set immediately to the right of the plate, cutting edge facing inward. (If
the main course is meat, a steak knife can take the place of the dinner knife.) At an informal meal, the dinner
knife may be used for all courses, but a dirty knife should never be placed on the table, place mat or
tablecloth.

(e) Spoons: Spoons go to the right of the knife. In our illustration, soup is being served first, so the soup
spoon goes to the far (outside) right of the dinner knife; the teaspoon or dessert spoon, which will be used
last, goes to the left (inside) of the soup spoon, next to the dinner knife.

(f) Glasses: Drinking glasses of any kind water, wine, juice, iced tea are placed at the top right of the
dinner plate, above the knives and spoons.

Other dishes and utensils are optional, depending on what is being served, but may include:

(g) Salad Plate: This is placed to the left of the forks. If salad is to be eaten with the meal, you can forgo the
salad plate and serve it directly on the dinner plate. However, if the entree contains gravy or anything runny,
it is better to serve the salad on a separate plate to keep things neater.

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DINING ETIQUETTE SESSION NEEDS

(h) Bread Plate with Butter Knife: If used, the bread plate goes above the forks, with the butter knife placed
diagonally across the edge of the plate, handle on the right side and blade facing down.

(i) Dessert Spoon and Fork: These can be placed either horizontally above the dinner plate (the spoon on
top with its handle facing to the right; the fork below with its handle facing left); or beside the plate. If
placed beside the plate, the fork goes on the left side, closest to the plate (because it will be the last fork
used) and the spoon goes on the right side of the plate, to the right of the dinner knife and to the left of the
soup spoon.

(j) Coffee Cup and Saucer: Our illustration shows a table setting that would be common in a restaurant
serving a large number of people at once, with coffee being served during the meal. The coffee cup and
saucer are placed above and to the right of the knife and spoons. At home, most people serve coffee after the
meal. In that case the cups and saucers are brought to the table and placed above and to the right of the
knives and spoons. http://emilypost.com/advice/informal-place-setting/

Catering options:

The illustration above is adequate for a four-course meal, soup/appetizer, salad, entre e, and dessert.

If the etiquette training is focused around a buffet style meal, the same table settings can be used, but often
times the utensils are left off the table this incidence should be addressed in the training.

Servers:

For a served meal, servers should be made aware to serve from the left and remove items from the right.
They also should be aware of utensil signals. Additionally, speak with your serving staff prior to the event to
coordinate when courses should be brought out/removed.

Space:

When reserving space for the etiquette session keep in mind that the room will need to be large of enough
for all of your participants, and still allow room for the host to walk around the room. An additional place
setting is helpful for the host to utilize as an example. The space should also not be in a location that is too
loud- the host will be speaking throughout the meal and the guests should be able to hear him or her.
Additionally, if you are reserving in a restaurant location, keep in mind that other diners might not want to
listen to an etiquette lesson throughout their meal (use a private room).

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CONTACT INFORMATION

Contact Information

BETH PULLIAM
ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR,
TCU GCC

Tel 817-257-7327
b.pulliam@tcu.edu

TCU Graduate Career Center

Neeley School of Business
2900 Lubbock Ave, Fort Worth, TX 76132
Tel 817-257-7119
http://www.neeley.tcu.edu/GCSC/

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