You Got Older Clare Barron A SAMUEL FRENCH ACTING EDITION SAMUEL FRENCH FOUNDED 1830 SAMUELFRENCH.COM SAMUELFRENCH-LONDON.CO.UKCopyright © 2015 by Care Barron “Al Rights Reserved YOU GOT OLDER is fully protected under the copyright lama ofthe United States of Ameve, the Bets Commonweal cdg Canada, and ll other countries ofthe Copyright Union ll eight, including pro Fesional and amateur sage productions, recitation, Jeting, public reading, motion picture, radio broadcating, elevion and the rights of translation int foreign languages re stil reserved. ISBN 4780579704147 re SemuelPrenctrLandon.comk FOR PRODUCTION ENQUIRIES Usrrep Srares aND CANADA Tnfo@SamuelFrench.com 18655085449 LUnrrep Kincnow AND EvRorE: PlaysSamuelFrench-London. co.uk (020°7255-4802 ach tide bj to aalablty rom Samuel French, depending upon onstry of performance. Please be aware that YOU GOP OLDER tay ot be Rcenaed by Semel French in your territory. 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Peme contac the appropriate musi lcening shorty in your teitoy forthe right to any incidental ic IMPORTANT BILLING AND CREDIT REQUIREMENTS. Ityou have obtained performance rights oth ie, please refer to your lcensing agreement for mportant ling and cet requirementYOU GOT OLDER was ft prc by Page 78 Protons (Liz Jones and Asher Rihell, Executive Directors Michaet Walkup, rodcing Director), at HERE Arts Center in New York iy wih an opening might ‘on October 29,2014 The production wa dreted by Anne Kanan, trith sets by Daniel Zimmerman, costumes by Asta Bennie Hostetter Tighe ty Russell Champs, composition and sound by Daniel Kluger prop by Deb Gaouete, fight rection by Jef Hae, ad easing by Jock Dou and Sharky. The Production Masager was Dennis O'LearyGilo and the Stage Manager war Sonja Thorson. The cast was as fllows Mat Brooke Bloom ao. Reed Birney cownor. Michael Sdn Mac. Willa Jackson Harper HANNA Mitr Serena MATTHEW. Ted Schneider JEN Keily MeQuai YOU GOT OLDER was orginally developed in the Soho Rep. Witer/ Director Lab (Sarah Benson, Ardstie Director, Cynthia Flowers, Exeemve Director) CHARACTERS MAB daughter of Da, 32 CcovwBo¥ you don’t wif e's gona fuck ou oF il you MAC-=a dude from Mae's hometown HANNAH big sister MATTHEW - idle brother JENNY Hine ster PLACE sal agricul cin eaten Washington Sate. We should beable to fel the mountains, Also, Minneapolis (dhe Big Cy). NOTES ON THE PLAY What I discovered ~ working alongside Anne Kauffman and Brooke Bloom = is thatthe stuctire ofthe play is largely built around something we termed "Mae's decent." The ply starts in the moment iter catastrophe. But is helpfl wo assume that Mae i coping and finding humor in i all, Until she can’, Irs a sort of nosedive that bottoms out daring the champagne Breakfast scene right before Mae return to Minneapolin. “Thing realy important in thi ply Mae als her thoughout ou She alka Tox because se has alo to proces. t's ike she's chasing her ‘houghts in search of an aiewer ofa feling ora explanation or sme ‘ind or reli or something that she wll never, ever find, Dad sus asmuch to process as Mae ~ he jst Keep more oft to his Thi oesnt mean that i not present, though, We should gett watch Dad (God Mae) think “The play im many way, is about intimacy witha parent And think there's something scary i that ~ even when the conversation seems ana Ani finaly: The scenes with Mae ad the Cawboy should be dangerous And sexy. wn they aren’ oN Sones: Dad's theme song i “Firewood!” by Regina Spektor® The wedding song at the very end of the play “Timber” by Pitbull feat. KeSb)." Both {F those moments were orn out of those specifi songs, and x01 think they're perfect, isan English Rugby song. You ean find Reeser Mane Ue Nate on Copyright Pas eeow castine ‘This play is set in a small own in the Pacific Northwest but please consier dersity when casting. A couple smal tweak can be made to ine language o make anything posable. So ht me up And we'll a i. | ON NOTATION Ala (/ ) cates an interruption in speech ‘An asterish (+) indicates an interruption in speech ofthe opposite coh SPECIAL THANKS: ‘To Anne Kaufman (exquisite, herculean genius). To our stellar and incredibly generous team of actors, designers and crew. To super [reducers Liz Asher, Michal and Rachel. And the incomparable Race Viola To Ken Rus Schmoll, Jenny Schwartz and the 201332011 Soho Rep Wrter/ Director Lab (where T wrote dis pla), ad especial tom ptinr director Los Pronk. Toll the actots who help develop this lay And ao (as lays) thank you to Maria Stra Mac Wellman, Anne Washburn, David Hershovis, Tom Lehman, Eyad Hous, Graeme Gils, Rf Tolan, and Youngblood. And to 33 Douglas (Borns, Hardy, ill and Gas). Toe you guys. pond af es Aad Yo my mor al dd fay You guys are the bet thing thats ever happened ome For Mom @ DadA vegetable garden. Litle mounds of dirt. And sgelables propped up with sticks. 1 late summer Buerything feels very far away from us. Or very ~ uncomfortably ~ close [Mae and Dad stand over the vegetables. Dad has ‘ascar that goes across his neck from one ear to the ‘other ea. I looks like someone tried to cut his head off AD, So these are our peppers MAB. They're green ap. Yup MAE. [thought they were going to be red. AD. No. They're green peppers MAE. Are they spicy? DAD. No they're sweet. Thy one Mae tries a pepper MAE. What are you going to clo with ther ap, Oh I don't know, Salads, I haven't really thought about it MAE, That's exciting that you're growing vegetables DAD. Yes MAE. What other things are you going to grow? aD. Just peppers for now. And these leafy green things, Tdon't know what they ae, MAE, Mustard Greens? DAD. No MAE. Collards? AD. No. I's more unusual than that MAB, Swiss Chard?YoU Gor OLDER DAD. It stars with an ‘Mae thinks. ‘MAE. I don’t know any greens thar start with the letter “A” DAD. I'm pre Amethyst. MAE. I don’t know it sure it starts with the letter “A.” Like DAD. I take about six leaves with me sometimes when I pack a lunch and I just eat them raw, ‘Mae and Dad stand inthe yard. MAE. Is that a fire pit? DAD. Yes. MAE. Where did it come from? DAD. I made it MAE. Why did you make a fire pit? He shrugs. aD. I was feeling industrions MAE. Do you have fies? aD. I've had one fire, To testi out MAE. How did it work? aD. It worked good. MAB, Can we have a fire? DAD. We can if you want. We just have to get some firewood, Ma picks up a stick in the yard. MAE. What about this? He fs the stick AD. I think i's t00 wet to burn, We've been having a lot of wet days, recently 1 think tomorrow is supposed to be wet, oo. MAE. Is it? a. That's what I heard ‘Mae and Dad stand in the yard. DAD. Do you still need to go to the pharmacy? you Gor oupER un ‘MAE. Yeah, ifyou don’t mind DAD, What do you need? Maybe we have it MAE, No I checked. You don’t have it DAD. Are you sure? There's a whole stockpile of things down in the laundry room MAE. I need a toothbrush, AD. We have toothbrushes MAB. [like a certain kind of toothbrush DAD. We have all kinds of toothbrushes. Your mother was like a squirrel. 'm still finding things she ferreted away MAE. [like soft bristles DAD. We have soft bristles MAE. Yeah everyone has soft bristles. 1don't know who buys. hhard bristles. Or medium bristles ap. I sometimes buy medium bristles MAE. Dad! Don’t do that! You should always buy soft bristles. They're better for your gums DAD. We have bad gums in our fanily MAE. T know a, Receding gums MAE. I know: My dentist told me aD. I'm sorry about that MAE. I's okay DAD. And gingivitis MAB. I know PAD. I think in general we have very acidic mouths MAE. I think so too Little pase, DAD. So soft bristles MAE. Ub-huh. And also my dentist recommended that I get a child-sized toothbrush DAD. Really (MAE. Because I have a small mouth DAD. That's a clever ideaYoU Gor OLDER MAE, He said that a child-sized toothbrush would fit better in my mouth and it would be easier for me to clean all, the crevices of my teeth, especially in the back of my mouth, aD. [et that’s true MAB, I don’t know. That's what he told me. AD. So we'll buy you a toothbrush MAE. Also I need to pick up a prescription DAD. A prescription? MAE. Yeah, they called it in from Minneapolis AD. That was nice of them MAE. Yeah but it was supposed to be there this morning, and [called them and they didn’t have it in yet aD. How come they didn’t have i? MAE. I don’t know. I thought it was a normal thing but T guess it wasn DAD. What kind of drug is it? MAE. It's not a drug. It’s an ointment. IVs a prescription ointment DAD, Did they have to overnight i? MAE. I gues DAD. That's what they do. They overnight it, Whenever they don't have Seaitle. MAE. And what if Seattle doesn’t have i AD. [think Seattle always has it MAE. Yeah well I hope Seattle has it. I'm supposed to get a text message telling me it's ready to be picked up, DAD. You get a text message from the pharmacy? MAE. Yeah they text me AD, The pharmacist texts you? MAB, Not personally. I's an automated thing, DAD. Do you have to pay for that? MAE. I get free texts DAD. That's good in stock they just overnight it fe you Gor oLpER 1s MAE, Well, not fe texts, But I don’t pay per text DAD, Well, tha’ still pretty cool MAE, Except they haven't texted me yet. So T don't know whether to go or whether we should wait for the text DAD, Maybe you should call them to see if they got it= MAE. Ugh, I don't want to call them= AD. So you don’t go all the way down there, if they don’t have it yet (MAE, Why wouldn’t they have it in? AD. I don't know MAE. That would really suck Dap. Is it urgent MAE. I mean, is urgent. But i’s not that urgent. Dap. Ifit's urgent, I can drive you to Seattle [MAE. IU not urgent. just wish they would text me AD. Why don't you call them ‘Mae and Dad stand in the yard. They lok at the Peppers. They look atthe fre pit. They lok at the si AD. [put you in Hannah’s room. I hope that’s okay MAE. Oh, DAD. It felt strange to have you sleeping in the basement with only two of us in the house MAE, like the basement AD. I can put you in the basement MAE. No Hannah's room is fine. 1's cheerful DAD. Good ‘Mae smiles. MAE, We'll be right next to each other. ‘Mae wakes up in bed. Its snoring outside. There's ‘a strange man in the corner. He kind of look like @ Canadian cowboy _—_ BRR eee ec ee ‘MAE. Where am I? ‘coWnOY. Nova Scotia MAE. Is it snowing? ‘cownoy. There's a blizzard MAE. A blizzard?! (COWBOY. Yup. I's blizzarding, Mae looks out the window of the cabin. It's Diszarding outside COWBOY. I found you tied to a tee. MAB, What? CownOY. You were buried halfway in the snow. Unconscious. Yo snowflakes on your tongue. wr mouth was open. There were MAE. Who would have tied me to a tre’ cownoY. You tell me Mae tries to think of who would want to te her to the tre in the middle of a blizzard but she can't ‘hink of anyone Suildeny she realizes. MAE, Hey. Am I nake CownOY. I had to take your clothes off so you wouldn't freeze to death. I'm sorry I didn't look MAE, Um, Can Ihave them back? CowBOY. They're sill wet. I'm drying them by the fire MAE, [have to go to the bathroom ‘The Cowboy strides across the room. He sets a pot next tothe bed and retreats cOWROY. There's no toil ‘MAE. Oh. Maybe I'l wait, ‘CownOY. It's going to be awhile ‘Mae hesitates. Then she climbs out ofthe bed using the sheet as a bathrobe. She squats over the po. you Gor oLpER 15 She pees. Is 50 cold that her piss produces steam. She pushes the pot under the bed out of view. She dibs back into bed, still wearing the sheet, and gets under the covers. She lis very sil ‘MAE, Hey: What's your name? ‘cowBOY. Daryl. No. Luke. My name is Luke MAE, Hey Luke. If there's a blizzard does that mean we're rapped? Lake is sanding over the bed ‘cowpoY. I have to mb you down now MAE, ‘cownoy. You're hypothermic MAE. Ccownoy. The friction will warm you up MAE. Please don’t cownoy, Rub you down? MAE. Yes. Don't do that. Please Ccownoy. I'm sorry I don’t have a choice. I's for your own ‘good MAE. Can't Ijust do it myself? ‘COWBOY, Mac? MAE. How do you know my name? CowBOY. I'm going to rub you down now. Even if Ihave to tic you to that hed Tam going to mab Every part Of your body Vigorously Until heat And feeling return par of6 You Gor over your ody MAE, COWBOY. Don't look at the door There's a blizzard outside, remember? You're not going anywhere ‘The door opens. Dad enters. DAD, (full of exuberance) Hey Mac! We've got another Pepper! ‘He sees Mae naked in bed. PAD. Oh sony! MAE, No its fine. I'm just sleeping. Thinking, Sleeping, Fm just about to get up AD. Well when you're ready come out and I'll show you the new pepper. ‘ Dad exits, leaving Mae alone with Cowboy Luke. Dad and Mae st the yard around the empty fre pit, They are next to the peppers. There isa baby MAE. This is almost lke we're camping aD. Yeah MAE. We don't even have to go hiking anymore we ean just ‘come out here DAD. No views though ‘MAE. I don’t really care about the views ‘They st in silence MAE. Are you going into the office this afternoon? AD. Nah, I think I'll just send some emails from home. They sit MAB. Ie didn’t rain ‘you Gor OLDER ap. No AE don’ think is going to rain today ether bap. I don't think so either MAE Maybe we can make are Thain lene DAD, The thing that always gets mei this, You're ouside ‘ou'relooking atthe sy And isabel sk. You've happy to be ave. You're aware that you're having a nice moment. That it a good moment in your lie Tr then how long should you lett go on. you know? Shout you jost look a the sy forever? Or a very least unl you get very hungry and you have to go do something cle? But 'm alvays Kehing vo go do tomething else ever when I'm in the mi of hing See moment cakes me el gully Thy sit ‘Mae thinks about Damian who she fucked without ‘a condom mien though she didn'¥ really want to fuck him without a condom and hex she pt her Togs over his shoulders. Or is leg over her. ? No. His shoulders. Her lags ver his shoulder MAB. Should we goin? ‘Mae out at Hank's Saloon. A dingy local bar. She drinks a ber: A smallish guy sits one stool over He herp chocking Mae out MAC. Hey MAB. Hey MAC. Do T know you? MAE. No. MAC. Tthink I know you MAE. I don't think so MAC. Washington Elementary School?iw ee ee You Gor oupen MAE. Yes MAG. Mrs, Armstrong's dth grade class MAE. Yes MAG. Mac. I mean, I was Malcolm then, But now Tm Mac ‘MAE, Oh. Oh! Oh I think I remember you! Sorry I totaly Temember you, Mrs. Armstrong! Yes! MAG. It's okay. How are you doing? MAE. Fine, How are yo MAC. I'm good, I'm good Are you living / here? MAE. Visiting. I'm visiting MAC. Cool MAB. Veal, Actally P'm not fine, Actually Pm awful MAC. Oh? MAE. Yeah. I'm actually having like the worst moment of iy life right now. Well almost the worst. (she thinks) Like the second worst moment of my life x0 far. MAC. I'm sorry (MAE. Yeah. My dad has cancer MAC. Oh no ‘MAE. Like really bad cancer MAC. What kind of cancer? MAE. (on a roll: Mae doesn't really need to stop in this mext section) Like weird, mysterious cancer that had spread all over his body but they couldn't find the primary source and it tims out that the primary source three millimeters big and in his larynx even though he doesn’t smoke and doesn’t drink and doesn’t have HPV (I'm prety sure) and he had to go to Seattle and have this surgery with robots and now he looks like someone tried to chop his head off MAG. Oh my god only MAE. Yeah and they made him get chemo and radiation and stuff but they didn’t want to surgically remove his larynx, obviously, so now he has to go back to Seattle 0 get his larynx zapped directly with this high-powered radiation laser proton MAC, Jesus MAE, Knife MAC. Well that's good ‘MAE. And also this dude who was like the love of my life ‘dumped me And he was my boss So he fired me IMAC. He fired you? MAE. So I don't have a job Or health insurance hing-y and then he’s done MAC. Is that legal? MAB. Or an apartment ‘And my litle sister has a pericardial est MAC. What? MAE. (He didn't really “fire me." I shouldn’t have said tha) ‘MAC. Wait. Your sister has a what? MAE. Like a cyst in her heart that's been growing since she was bon MAC. Oh my god is she going to be okay? MAE. I mean, she had to have heart surgery but it was like Roninvasive heart surgery. / They just stuck a needle in her MAC. Oh my god MAE. She's totally fine. Apparently it's like a totally normal MAG. Heart ests? MAE, Yeah, but of course she of my dad. And because of n MAC, What's wrong {freaking out about it because i Rs20 oo You Gor OLDER MAE. Uh. My mom is deceased MAC. Oh shit MAE. Irs okay. It happened a while ago. I was in college ‘MAC. I'm surprised I didn’t know about it Mae shrugs MAE. I don’t know. Did you know my mom? MAC. I mean, I know yo I probably met your mom, Well, P'm sorry to hear about / all your MAB, Sorry. I don't mean to yak your ear off MAG. No you're not= ‘MAE. I'm just going erazy at home And I'm horny as hell Wslike Thaves ead sex in (she counts) forvy-one days And now F'n With my dad. Sleeping in a bedroom next to his bedroom And he's always barging in all the time To talk to me about peppers And I just like Needed a drink And some space 10 think dirty thoughts Mac. You know, [always had the biggest crush on you MAE. Really? Mac. Yeah, MAE. Weren't we like in dth grade? MAG, I don’t knows. It just stayed with me. All through high school ‘Mae drinks her ber MAC. Does your dad know you're here? Mae grins MAE. I snuck out ‘MAC. Whoa. Sneaky lady MAE. It was my frst time sneaking out Mac. Really? MAE, Yeah. I've never done that befor kid. MAC. Never? ‘MAE. [used to sneak boys in. used to sticak boys in and then fool around with them wnt 4 in the mornin with my parents sleeping upstairs. I used to live in the basement. MAC, That's hot MAE. It wasn't that hot MAC. It sounds pretty hot MAE. It f was actually that hot She drinks her ben: MAE. I used to have a fantasy where my high school boyfriend Dave Gellatly ~ who totally cheated on me and like destroyed all of my self-confidence ~ would come to my window and knock on my window and then T would let him in and then he would be high fon cocaine (even though I'm pretty sure he never did cocaine) and he would like rape me? And the whole time I'm thinking: Maybe I should seream! If Tscream, my parents will wake up and come down here and save me and this whole thing will stop. But then if my parents come down here, they'll see m hhaked with Dave on top of me. And I'm like a virgin, And super Christian. So I don't scream. Because I'm Twas a really good hhot at the time but I'm not sure anymore if ityou Gor oLpER too embarrassed. And he rapes me. And then later [ decide to report it. And the whole town vilifies me and, I'm like this outcast woman? And then Dave dies in a drunk driving accident and everyone is like: Ifyou had just not reported it he would have diet anyway and you would've gotten justice without having to besmirch his -MAG. That was a Fantasy? ‘MAE. I guess [just used (0 think about it when I needed to ‘Mae drinks her bor MAG. I know Dave MAE, You do? MAG. Yeah. Not that well. We were on the soccer team, together fora year (MAE. Well that’s embarrassing, Don’t tell him about that MAG. I won't MAE, He already thinks I'm erazy MAC. I never see him. Don't worry MAE, Okay. I'm going to go MAC. Let me buy you a drink 'm tired (MAG. Whatever you want MAE. Another time MAB. No Hike you MAC. Just cell me if you don’t like me MAE, [like you MAG. Say it to my face Sayit ome _ ~~ you GOT OLDER 3 MAE. I~ ‘Mac. Say it MAE. T don't ike you ‘Mac. There. You said it ‘MAE. I don't ike you Mac. Okay ‘MAE. I don't like you MAC. I got it MAE. I don't like you {don't like you Pm lying. Like you. Td like to have sex with you tonight. MAC. You'd like to have sex with me tonight? (MAE. But I have a rash, MAC. You have a rash MAE. On my back From here (se points tothe tp of her back, her shoulders) ‘To here (she points tothe botiom of her back, just above her nder my boob, So I can't have sex. I feel too selfconscious. 1 finally got this ointment in from Seattle But it hasn't cleared! it up yet MAC, How did you get your rash’ ‘MAE. I don’t know. Dairy? I don’t know. Maybe stress, Maybe HIV, auc.2 — ll t—~—~—“——SC‘S You Gor ouper MAE. One day I just woke up in the middle of the night with this iteh right in the middle of my back. And it was weird. But somehow my brain didn’t register that it was seid weird. So I just went on with life and never looked at my back. And then one night Iwas having sex with my boyfriend and we hadn't had sex in a long time and he said: “Oh my god. Look at your hack." And it was a rash from here (she points tothe top of her back) to hhere (she points tothe bottom of her back, just above her as) 1 had spread! And Tan was lke: “Iv fine. Lets keep hhaving sex.” But T was like: "No, Let’s do it anoth time.” And then the rash never cleared up. It just ayed. And we didn’t have sex. And then we broke up. Not because of the rash or anything. It was just weird timing. She considers this, then leans in like she’s saying something realy top secre MAE. But I think maybe they were related? Like maybe the rash was my subconscious’ way of telling me that we needed to break up? ‘MAG. Whiat does it look like? MAE, MAC. Is it like~ hives? Or MAE. A thousand litle bumps that feel like bumpy litte lines. Like bumpy little mountain ranges that ran from. neck to my ass. And the mountains are red. And puss MAC. Can I see i? MAE. No! MAG. Let me see it MAE, There are only two people in this world who I would let see my back in a state like this and one of them is sister and you are not the other MAC... ike pus Tike things like you Gor oLpER as like scabs ‘And ingrown hairs ‘And flaky skin like to pick at things Tm serious Twon't judge you Ie'l probably make MAE. MAC, [had an ingrown hair in my armpit once ‘And the amount of pus that eame out of it Ik.was like squeezing toothpaste out of a tube (MAE. [like chewing beard hairs ‘MAC. Really? ‘MAE. Yeah. I like plucking beard hairs from guys’ faces ‘And then chewing on them 1 like you even more MAC. [like chewing on toenails MAK. My ex:boyfriend used to let me pluck out beard hairs ‘with my teeth, MAC. You can pluck one of my beard hairs with your teeth MAE. Really? MAC. Ifyou let me see your rash ‘Mae considers the trade MAE. Okay She mares her mouth tard his chook MAB. It hurts a litle MAC. That's okay ‘She moves her month towards his cheek, She stops herself. MAE. Some people don’t lke it MAC. Let Ill lke it MAE, Just don’t get mael at me, ifyou don' like it MAC. Whatever happens won't get mad Ipromise _26 you Gor ouper ‘Mae puts her mouth on Mac's check. She finds a “hick, juicy har with her tongue. She seizes the hair with her to front teth. She pulls gently axsay from ‘Mac's face. His cheok skin stretches. Then *pop*! ‘The hair comes out. Mae chews on the hair MAE. I just love the texture, Mae chews th hai Mac tts her enjoy ths. MAG. Okay. Now let me see your rash MAE, Mac. MAE. Just fora second MAC. Just for a second MAE, Please be kind MAG. I vill, ‘MAE. Don’t think I'm disgusting MAC. I would never think anyone, anyone with a rash disgusting. Mae lifts up her shirt and shows Mac her bare ack MAC. Ooo000000h MAE, What?l MAC. That looks painfil MAE, Ititches ‘MAC. I'm just going to touch it very softly with 1 is that okay? Mac touches Mae's rash very softly with his fingertips MAE, That feels good MAC. Good fingertips, ‘Mac lightly touches Mae's rash MAE, Actually, u MAC. Sure Can Task you a huge favor? you Gor oLpER " never reach the middle of my back. And I don't want toask my dad ‘Mac. No totally MAE. You don MAC. Give me the ointm ‘Mae gives Mac the ointment. He smears it on her back MAE. Ate you getting it everywhere? Mac. Yes MAE. Are you putting enough on? You have to puta lot on MAC. Your back is smothered in ointment Mac blows on Mae's ointment covered back. MAE, Oh my god That feels so good It’s minty fresh on my back He lowers her shirt ‘MAE. Thank yout MAC. No problem MAB. Olay: I should go ‘She gathers her things MAC. Hey so what's your job? MAE. Sorry? MAG. The job you lost? What do you do? What are yo MAE. I'm a lawyer: In Minneapolis MAC. Oh. Wow MAF. Yeah. I's embarrassing MAG. No it’s not. It's impressive Talways pictured you making jam somewhere MAE, Really? Sc lll ll... NLCYou Gor oLper MAC. Yeah, I always pictured you selling hams and jams and nectarines somewhere on the side of the highway. ‘You know. Future Farmers of America MAE, Huh MAG. Remembe MAE, Oh, On, You're thinking of my sister Future Farmers of America? T'm not Hannah P'm Mae Hannah's ltt sister Mac. Oh ‘MAE. Yeah Hannah was all up in FRA And Hannah and I were both in Mrs. Armstrong's 4" grade class And Hannah lives in Boise and teaches Special Education, so not strawberry jam or anything but yeah, MAC. Oh shit MAE. So yeah I was right. I don’t remember you MAG. I'm so sorry MAE. No it’s okay MAC. I feel so stupid MAE. Oh my god. [feel so much better MAG. I'm such an idiot, / Jesus Christ MAE. The whole time I was sitting here going erazy thinking I don’t know who the fuck this is, [felt like such an asshole. ac. MAE. Well 'm going to go Nice to meet you, Mac MAG. Nice to meet you, Mae ‘MAE. I'l tell my sister you say hi sac. You don’t have to do that ‘Mae heads to the door ‘MAG. Oh! You forgot your= He hols up the paper prescription bag. MAB. Oh MAC. Hold up ‘Mac takes out a pen and writs his number om the ‘bag. He hands it to Mae, ‘MAC. That's my number MAE. Haha MAC, Call me, ifyou get bored ‘Or you need a break from your dad or whatever Tye gota pretty sweet place And...a pretty sweet cat Murphy He's He sleeps with me He's prety sweet He doesn’t have to sleep with Tm just Tm just joking (MAE. Sounds fun MAC. How long you MAB. I'm not sure Maybe till the end of su Maybe till my dad finishes treats Tm not su e, Tmean— town for? and then MAG. It’s going to be fall soon MAE. Yup MAG. It always sneaks up on me MAE. Me to0 MAC. And then after fal, it's going to be ChristmasYou Gor oLER ‘The eves falloff the tes rental rain. Mae and Dad stand inside atthe window, staring at the garden, the leaves on the ‘ground, the naked tes... I thunders, The rain comes down even harder MAE. The fire pitis go! 1 to be wet for weeks, They stare atthe rain DAD. So Matthew's flying in MAE. Ub-hish AD. And Hannah's already there, I think. She wanted to et everything setdled for you guys. And Jennys driving up tomorrow morning. MAE. Cool DAD. They've got her on the night shift. [told her not to ‘come but= MAE, Jenny’ erazy DAD. She doesn’t want to be the only one who's o! Very nice All of you For your dad Very nice children Mae laughs. MAE. Dad aD. What? It’s ue Very nice child You are They stare at the rain MAE. Are you nervous? DAD. No MAB, It's okay to be nervous AD. Why should I be nervous? I don 1 just have to lie there have to de anything. you Gor oLpER a Mag. That's worse, don't you think? No think i's worse to not have control Ie were in charge of it, we'd all be in trouble [just mean T hate it when I feel helpless Not me. Hove it Stop. You do not Ido, [love it, Hove it when you just get to He back and let people take care of you Like going to the dentist Hove that You just lie back and open your mouth What can you do? SEEREERE ‘They stare atthe rain, Da fingers his sear ‘MAE. You want to know something flrnny? I have a hump. In the same exact place that you found your hump, AD. You do? MAE. Yeah, isn't that crazy? Tve had it for years, DAD. Mae! Did you get it checked out? MAE. Yeah, it's no big deal. They said it’s an enlarged salivary gland. Lots of people have them, DAD. Well good MAE. But it’s like my litle sympathy lump, you know? Like when people get sympathy pregnant? And fee! like they’re pregnant? Even though they're not? Except T've haad it since before we found out you had cancer AD. Well I've had cancer since before we found out I had They stare atthe rain, both fingering their necks AD. Oh, don’t let me forget. Ihave a present for you from Tiany MAE, Wait, who's Tiffany? DAD. Tiffany atthe office. You know / Tiffany. She knit you a blanket _iz YOU Gor OLDER MAE. Oh, yeah! ‘Why did she knit me a blanket? DAD. Tiffany is always knitting everybody blankets. She Tikes it Besides, hospitals are cold MAE, I know DAD. She knit me of Maybe you should do some knitting again ‘MAE. Dad. AD. Didn't you used to knit? ‘MAE. Sometimes. DAD. I don't know. It could be something to do while you're here. Keep yourself busy. Even in moments of transition. It's important to keep yourself busy MAE. I know Dap. I'm pretty sure we've still got somebody's yarn down, the basemer ‘They stare atthe rain AD. At some point, I'm going to ask you some questions you probably don't want me to ask you, About your plans. For the fuuure MAE. Ob no DAD. Not now. Just at some point we should talk about ‘what your next steps are ‘MAB. Dad. I don't know my next steps aD. Not right now! MAB. I don’t know when I'm going to know my next steps DAD. Well at some point, I'm going to bug you MAE, ap. How’s lan doing anyway? MAE. Ihave no idea. I don’t talk to Lan AD. You know. Whenever I ike them, is the kiss of death MAE. Oh come on AD, I'm serious, Its true. Who did I like? I liked Johnny. ‘And look what happened to him and Hannah! MAE. Dad. That had nothing to do with you DAD. Who else did I ike? I liked Carlos. I mal liked Carlos, ‘And Stephanie. And Ashley. They're all gone! MAE. You like Michael, don’t you? He's sll around DAD. Michaels alright. From now on, only date people I hate ‘MAE. You should hate Ian AD. I don’t know. I thought you two were really good. together ‘MAE. Mom always hated the people I broke up with She referred to Austin as the Big AHole for years DAD. She was just pretending. She and Austin used to send ‘each other Christmas letters MAE. Well I'd appreciate it if you'd at least pretend ‘They stare at the rain. MAB. You know Kimber? ap. No MAE. Orchestra Kimber? She played the / bassoon AD. Oh yes. I always liked Kimber. She was one of my favorites MAE. I know AD. She just seemed a lot mote spunky than the rest of your friends. MAE. I know PAD. [like it when girls are spunky MAE. Her dad is sick Some inoperable, terminal cancer PAD. Oh dear MAE. Whatever we don’t have to go into it but she’s always Posting things about faith and family on her Facebook Wall, And how Jesus is testing her family. And how fire — ee 3sYoU Gor OLDER is necessary to make the forest grow, And everything, happens fora reason. Stuff like that ab. Ye: MAE. And normally I hate that stuff. Normally I hate that stuff. But the other day I was thinking how funny itis that my life fell apart, And then all this happened to aD. I's not that funny MAE. Well. Not funny. But convenient They sare atthe rain, turns into snow. A terile snowstorm. Lightning, thunder. A thundersmots. ‘Mae is staggering through the snow. She calls out for help but we can't hear her She collapses The Cowboy appears. He digs her out of a snowdrift ‘and heft her with one hand onto his shoulder, He ‘trudges through the storm ~ back inside ~ and throws her onto the flor in a wet, cold heap. She shivers MAE. Thank you COWBOY. You almost got yourself killed MAE, I'm sorry ‘COWBOY. You almost got me killed going after you ‘They both ston the floor, panting COWBOY. Come here She dos. cownoy, Get down MAE, Why? cownoy. On. She does. He takes out a long, thick rope from a ouch on his thigh MAE, What are you doing? COWBOY. Making sure you don't run away agin “Hestarts to tie her up wristto-anklewrist-o-ankle YoU Gor oLpER 3s ‘cownoy. You act like a child, I'm going to treat you like a child MAE. You tie your children up like this Mae is thoroughly ted wp cownoy. Can you move? MAE. (trying fo move) No The Cowboy seps aside. Lights a cigarette. cownOY. Are you cold? Mae shrugs. MAE, 'm wet ‘coWROY. I can hold you if you're cold Mae lts him hold her It fels so good to be held ‘She velases into him MAK. There was this person, um My boyftiend. Ian And the last time we had sex We were on my floor On top of all my dirty clothes And we just fucked No foreplay Oranything And he just He yas s0 sweet And then he flipped And I remember staring out past his ass crack, you know Out at the sky Out at the tree outside my window And his ass in my face And I was just looking at that tree And the sky was blue And the tree was like a erack across the sky ‘And I was so sad. Like: Is this it? Is this ll there is? But also: This is enough, you know. It felt ike enough, COYoU Gor OLDER Ist lonely? Being a cowboy? COWBOY. I've always been alone, It's in my nature MAE. Well maybe I'm a cowboy, too. The Cowboy puffs his cigarette MAE, Give me some of that He offers it to her, placing it delicately betwen her lips, She ital and Blows smoke into his face COWBOY. Mae. Are you tying to get MAE. Maybe ‘COWBOY. IF kiss you, I might not be able to stop. ‘This isthe best thing that anybody has said to Mae sn avery, wry lng time 1e to kiss you? MAB, [think that's, um | think that’s fine ‘Mae props herself up. Their two heads ver towards ach other. Mae reaches out to grab his big, thick jw and sees something on his mack, She eos ‘MAE, What's that? cownoy. What? MAE, On your neck? COWBOY. It's. a sore spot MAE. A sore spot? ‘COWBOY. Yeah, I've got a whole line of them ‘He unbuttons his shirts to reveal a big red angry Tine of weeping lesions down his neck to his stomach and on toward his groin CownOY. I don't know, I think they're boils? Or some kind of He coughs. An auful hacking cough YOU Gor OLDER 7 ‘cowBOY. Sorry. Lesions There's blood allover his hands, A light comes on in the hallway. The sound of ‘coughing. Dad up in the middle ofthe night MAE. (calling out) Dad? You okay? ‘The sound of the toilet, the sink. Dad poles his ead into Mae's room, all squinty-eyed. AD. Rise and shine! MAE. Are you serious? What time is it? AD. Five-thinty, We gotta hit the road, kid Mae starts to bundle herself up and slay crosses into the kitchen. The Couboy is till with her MAE. God. I don’t think I've been up this eatly since Tdon't know [feel like I'm about to take the SAT or something DAD. I fee! like someone's about to have a baby Sit down. I want to play you something Dad disappears. Mae sits MAE Ugh Tm nervous COWBOY. You're fine MAE. 'm not fine. I'm nervous, Ugh. I feel sick to my stomach COWROY. You want me to fuck it out of you Mar, ‘CowROY. I can fuck it out of you, ifyou want me to fuck it ‘out of you ‘That feeling. In your stomach, Tean fuck you until you don't feel that way anymore Until you don't feel anything anymore Tean obliterate you, by fucking you, if you want me toMusic! Dad bounds upstairs, He's smiling. Very leased with himself. He's carrying some kind Of small musicmaking device. His laptop? His phone? The music comes out small and tinny 50 ‘that we have lean in just a bit to hear it DAD. This is my theme song. MAE. What? DAD. This is my theme song, For cancer Tdecided MAE. Your theme song? AD. When your mom was sick, she had a theme song She used to play itfor me when Idrove her to treatments MAE, You guys were weird aD. Some ofthe Iyrcs are a litle overdramatie but I think it's pretty good song The song plays I is incredibly cheesy. Bu sill the ind of song that can make you ery. We're all going to die, And you're not young anymore. And your childhood is gone, And you've ful of regret. And your mother is dead. And there's no one to hold you. And you've not dying yet so you have to keep fighting. And it's going to hurt. And the hospital Dad both tea up listening toil, AL some point, Dad says: “This is my favorite part.” is cold and dark, ee. et. Mae MAE. I's a good song, He smiles at her DAD. Alright. You ready? We've got to get across the pass Mae and her siblings ~ Hannah, Matthew, and Jonny ~ in a hospital room. Dad is slrping in the bed. Mae is knitting. Something bright blue. She's curled pin one of not very go at it, Matthew Tiffany's blankets Down the hallway in an empty lobby is a giant listening gong: MATTHEW. ‘The Hardy family smell HANNAH, What about it MATTHEW. True or false HANNAH. Obsiously true JENNY. It's mothballs MATTHEW. I's not mothballs JENNY. I think is mothballs MATTHEW. I’s not. It's a human smell, You know, smnell of our skin or something JENNY. Camille told me that our house smelled like ‘mothballs and chocolate chip cookies MATTHEW. It does but that’s not the Hardy family smell HANNAH. I used to notice it in Matthew's room after he'd been sleeping MATTHEW. I's not my fault! I didn’t have a window: ke the HANNAH, Well that’s whete I noticed it, And then one day Twoke up and I smelt the stench of Matthew on my pillove and I uhought, “Oh god. I's me too.” MATTHEW. It’s not just me. I's all of us, The whole clan. ‘The Hardy family smell, JENNY. E HANNAH, But I think ours is particularly pungent LENNY. No HANNAH. I do! I fee! like people have told me on multiple ‘oceasions: “Hannah. Your family has a certain smell, Every time I come over to your house, I smell it” If every family had a smell as strong as ours, then why would someone say, “Hannab. Your family has a certain smell"? They wouldn't MATTHEW. Yeah, they just wouldn't FANNY. guess not MAE. Do you think it bothers our lovers? Do you think they Tove us / despite our smell?You Gor OLDER HANNAH. (under her breath) Don’t call them your lovers JENNY. EVERYBODY HAS A SMELL. MAE, Despite our strong smell MATTHEW. Maybe they like it HANNAH, I don’t like it. Pm disgusted by it, How can they Tike it MATTHEW. I don’t know. Maybe th faces into our necks and just sniff ws up. HANNAH. I think they tolerate it JENNY. I once dated a guy who smelled really bad to-me in the beginning but then by the end ~ he didn’t smell at all HANNAH. I think it's an oil gland. I do! We're all really oily MATTHEW. We are, We are really ely people HANNAH. And we smell MATTHEW. Like what MAE. Musty HANNAH. Like dank and Like mildew MAE, Musty musty musty HANNAH. Like something fermenting MATTHEW. litle like BO HANNAH. Well thas just BO, probably ‘MATTHEW. I think our family scent isa litle like BO and Tm talking totally independent of literal BO HANNAH, Okay JENNY. Dank earth MATTHEW. Oh come on JENNY. What? I think we sinll a lite like wet earth, MATTHEW, Don’t romanticize it, JENNY. Or the ocean MAE. We do not smell like MATTHEW. We do not! the ocean HANNAH. Mold. Mildew, Musty, BO. And egg want to stuff their _ . MAE. There's something sweet, though JENNY. Mothbals swear to god there's just a touch of mothballs MATTHEW. Docs it come from Dad or Mom or'sit a combo HANNAH. Morn JENNY. Mom MAK. I think i's gotta be a combo Hannah sniffs herself HANNAH. T MAE. That's because you took a shower rll it Hannah and Mae star sniffing themselves, trying to detect the Handy Family Smell MATTHEW. You can’t smell icon yourself, guys! That’ the ‘whole problem, You have to smell it on each other. They sart sniffing each othr, Jenny isnot into i JENNY. Oh you guys. [almost forgot Everyone gets a baseball cap, Jenny pulls out four baseball caps. MAE, What? MATTHEW. Why? JENNY. This lady I work with told me about it She says that at the hospital everyone should wear a. baseball cap And then if you need to ery You pull the cap down over your eyes, ‘And you can ery in private MATTHEW, That's / corny MAE. That's stupid JENNY. I thought it was really sweet MATTHEW. IF cry, 'm just going to ery in front of you all and you're just gonna have to deal with it Hannah is still nifing her siblings, trying to find the smellHANNAH. Here we go! Here itis! Jenny smells like it! JENNY. Stop. Iwas in the car: I haven't showered. MATTHEW. Yup. That’ it. That's definitely it Dad coughs MAE, Dad? HANNAH. Dad? They listen ~ om edge. MAE, (whispering) Are yo MATTHEW. I think he’s sleeping MAE. Can you cough when you're asleep? MATTHEW, Sure. You can cough when you're in a coma, MAE. Really? HANNAH. He's probably not even sleeping. He’s probably just listening with his eyes closed. He's always doing, that, Dad? Are you just resting your eyes? wake? JENNY. Is he going to be able to talk when he wakes up? MATTHEW, Jesus Christ, Jenny! JENNY, What? I don't know! MATTHEW. It's not like he had a stroke! [HANNAH Yeah, he's talking He was talking this ‘morning, He sounds a litle funny, ‘though, just FYE JENNY. (om the verge of tears) Why are his lips shiny? HANNAH. I don't know MAE. The nurses put lipgloss on him Jenny pulls down her baseball cap and cre. MATTHEW. Ob, ‘candy bar that? Someone has a 1y gol. Do you sm HANNAH. Are you guys hungry? / You wanna eat? MATTHEW. Oh my god, Chocolate and peanut butter MAE. Yes, 'm starving YoU Gor oLpER ‘m eating it with, my nostrils Matthew eats the air with his nostri HANNAH. Okay, well let's just unpack it on this table Hannah starts pulling items out of two big brown Paper sacks. Avocados, (MAE, Jenny? You alright? JENNY. (tll with her baseball cap pulled down) Yeah, V MATTHEW, Jesus, Hannah! Why did you buy avocados HANNAH. I don’t know, I was just trying to get things that ‘were filling. And healthy MATTHEW. Do you even have a knife? ‘This is like the messiest lunch ever HANNAH. There’sa butcher JENNY. (fiom underneath her knife wrapped in the ‘all cap) love avocados dishtowel MATTHEW, (sill unpacking) Grapefruit, are you / serious? MAE. We should've ordered Chinese food HANNAH. Well, I'm / sorry MATTHEW, Is just. 'm hungry. / I want to eat more than an avocado MAE. Uh-oh Mattie’ hungry HANNAH. I thought the sandwiches looked terrible. 1 thought this would be better. Also, Jenny's doctors told her she’s not supposed to eat meat or gluten JENNY. Sorry MAB Je MATTHEW. Sorry A moment of them all unpacking food, slicing things, et. HANNAH, So what's it been like at home, Mae? MATTHEW. Yeah how's he been doing at home? AVE. Fine, i's been totally fineYoU Gor OLDER HANNAH. How are his symptoms? MAE, Fine, I think HANNAH, Does he sill have mouth sores? MAE, [don’t know MATTHEW. Is his mouth still really dry? MAE, Mattie, I don’t ask him -MATTHEM. Well why not? HANNAK. JENNY. his You guys, I uhink Thave to go soon ‘MAE. I don’t know! We don’t talk about it HANNAH. Is he eating the Amaranth I sent him? MAE. The what? JENNY. You guys Hhink 1 have to go MATTHEW. Right now? JENNY. I'm sorry. Ih: ‘work tonight HANNAH. I sent hi some seeds to grow Amaranth, I's super green. / It’s supposed to be good for Vitamin © MAE, Oh yest He loves it MATTHEW. You guys Jenny has to go MAE. Oh JENNY. I have to work tonight. U'm sorry HANNAH, Don’t worry about it, honey JENNY. But I can drive back tomorrow morning! -MAE. I think he’s supposed to be going home today MATTHEW, He doesn't look like he’s going home today MAE. I know but that’s the plan JENNY. Do you think he’s going to wake up soon HANNAH. He's ust resting JENNY, (on the verg of ears again) Do you think I'm going 10 get to see him ring the gong? HANNAH. [don't know, MAE. Mattie, Stop cating: honey: [Phe wakes ‘up and he feels well ‘enough, we'll make him ring the gong, JENNY. I really want a picture with all of us and the gong. ‘When Camille's Mom finished treatment her whole PEO group came to see her ring the gong and there were like balloons and everything. HANNAH. We'll just have to see how it goes MATTHEW. (still unpacking) What the fuck is this cheesecake HANNAH, I's for Jenny. MATTHEW. Oh shit. Sorry Jenny MAE. Stop swearing. JENNY. I's okay HANNAH. I’ a surprise for Jenny, MAE. Happy Birthday, Jenny MATTHEW. I's still frozen, JENNY. I mean, is not even my birthday for eleven more days, it's okay ‘Bur thanks Hannah! That's realy sweet HANNAH. You like cheesecake right? I hope that’s 1 JENNY. I love cheesecake MAE.I thought you weren't eating dairy HANNAH, Oh no! I'm sorry JENNY. No! Ic cheesecake fine! / Love MAE. Are there / candles? HANNAH, Mattie! Careful with that knife! MATTHEW. Look at this avocado, you guys ‘The whole thing is pit ‘There's barely any flesh on it Wsjusta giant pit BENNY. [ike them when the pit is ity-biay You know what I mean? You open up the avocado Ad there's just this itybitey pit Ws s0 cute L. Avocaclos anid penises, 'm telling you ‘You just never know what you're gonna getyou Gor OLDER ‘You buy the biggest, fleshiest avocado at the store And you open it up And it hasan ittybitty pit Or vice versa, or whatever Like when T was first with Michael I was like: That's a big man. I bet he’s going to have, you know, tiny JENNY, Oh my god stop it stop it Hannah HANNAH, But he had a pretty big one mean, it looks tiny next to his body Buc it's actually prety big MAE, I don’t like big penises HANNAH, None of us like big, penises MATTHEW. This conversation is making me uncomfortable HANNAH, What? I said I don’t lke th ‘That should make you feel good MATTHEW. It doesn’t make me feel good! Why are you saying tha HANNAH. I'don 1 just mean: You asa man No pressure ‘mean you specifically. MAE, We love your penis, Matthew ‘We don't / care what it looks like JENNY. Seriously you guys. Stop (MAE. Tam being serious! JENNY, We shouldn't make fan of mi Irs terrible 1's bodies ethe MAE. Yeah, we're sorry for how society oppresses / your Maui JENNY, I'm serious! T don't care if you're tall oF short or bald or have ‘weird penis MATTHEW. [don't have a weird penis / for the record MAE. All of our children are going to be bald, you guys body Newsflas JENNY, There's nothing wrong with being bald! YoU Gor oLpER MAE. Tell that to baby Liam HANNAH. I know. Ifeel so bad JENNY. It's not a bad thing to be bald!!! HANNAH, It’s like. Sorry Liam. Mommy's giving you bad skin, cancer, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s and Male Pattern Baldness (MATTHEW. And the Hardy family smell! HANNAH. And the Hardy fumily smell! MAE. (a litle to loud) I mean, Don’t feel too bad for Liam, At Teast he’s inheriting Michaels big ass dick JENNY. Shih Shh Shhh! They look at Dad. HANNAH, Dad? Are you sleeping? MAE. See. Whatever: He's sleeping. DAD. Mac? JENNY. You woke him upl! AD. Were you talking to me? HANNAH. No, Dad.Go MAE. I'm here, Dad back to sleep. aD. I want some water. Im thirsty JENNY. Can we give him water? MAE. Hi Dad HANNAH. Hi Dad DAD. Why are you all wearing baseball caps? HANNAH. Shh. Dad. You shouldn't be talking LENNY. I have one for you too, Dad. If you want one (Should 1 give him o HANNAH, (In a minute) MAE. Dad you have 10 have water off of one of these sponges Like Jesus ‘Mae takes lite sponge that is attached toa stick ‘and dunks it in wateryou Gor oLpER MAE. Here, Dad Vil be the criminal And you be Jesus Pm going to give you water on a sponge MATTHEW. The criminal didn’t give him water. Th ‘criminal was up there on the cross with him MAE, Well Ill be the one who gives him water ‘Are you ready, Dad? Here comes the water. You're Jesus Dad sucks on the sponge. Dap. [ant to drink MAE, I knove. But you can't drink. AD. Will you ask Iris? JENNY, Hannah already asked Irs, Dad. She stys you have to use the sponge AD. [just want to drink some water HANNAH. Here, Lean ask her again Hannah goes to ask Iris MAE, How are you feeling? Dad smiles. MAE, You're all done! You're doing good. ‘They eat, Dal sucks his sponge. Mae stops eating and picks up her knitting again JENNY. Irs we're on a picnic Dad I's like we're on a picnic Hannah bought a cheesecake. I's for me After eile, Hannah returns. HANNAH. She says, "No drinking” But you can keep sucking your sponge You want me to dunk it for you again? Here. I'l dunk it for you again ° You Gor ouper “ Hannah dunks the sponge in water and gives it ‘back to Dad. JENNY. Where'd these MATTHEW. Here, Hanna. 1 blankets come from: made you a plate, Eat HANNAH. Thanks hon AD. (with the sponge in his mouth) Tiffany at the office -MAE. She knits DAD. (still with the sponge in his mouth) The apricot one is ‘Mae's. And the teal one is mine HANNAH. How's the job search going, Mae? MAE. It's going HANNAH. Have you started? MAE. Ihave a severance. I don't have to start HANNAH. Mac! You have 0 start! Is not easy to find a jobs MAE. I'm going to start. JENNY, What kind of cheese After thisis over. Pm is this? going to take care of it MATTHEW, Tillamook HANNAH. As long as you [pronounced Tila muck] start. That's the hardest yeNny. No what kind MATTHEW. I's Tillamook cheese MAE. I's cheddar cheese, HANNAH, You know, Jenny ‘maybe thisis your MATTHEW. It's the best kind pportunity: You know of cheddar cheese in hat I'm saying? Washington State E. ‘MAE, Tillamook is in Oregon Mae? To start over Really think about What you want to do ‘With your liteMAE, Idon’t want to think about what I want to do with my life HANNAH. I mean, you should think about it You're job sounded pretty awful, to be honest, AIL that stress. Ugh. Is it really worth Mag. Hannah, HANNAH, I'm just asking! I's just a question! MATTHEW, Hannah, Michaels calling MATTHEW, is always beati everything. JENNY. No they aren't! HANNAH. Ohi I's probably Liam JENNY, Dad! I’ the baby! MAE, Do you want to talk MATTHEW. (answering tothe baby, Dad? pass you to Ha HANNAH. (taking the phone from Matthew) Hello JENNY. Is it him? HANNAH. Hi Liam Hii baby Ave you having fun? JENNY, What's he saying? HANNAH. Uh-huh MAB, Hannah, let Dad talk co him, HANNAH. (One see) (Ooh are you making cookies? What kind of cookies? Max, Hannah HANNAH. od, Oregon Hannah’ phone) Hi Michael. 'm going to Sugar cookies, That sounds fn, Do you want to talk to your grandad? Here I'm going to hand the phone to your granddad? Okay baby? Hannah hands off the phone to Dad. DAD. Who is it? (MAE. 1's Liam AD. Hello JENNY. Dad. I's the baby A long moment of Dad listening to the baby Everyone is riveted, Maybe Matthew takes picture ‘on his phone AD. (to Hannah) He's not sayin HANNAH. You have to talk to him anything DAD. What am I supposed to say? HANNAH, Just talk AD. Hi Liam I's your granddad. How are you doing? He loks atthe phone DAD. Are you sure he's on there? HANNAH. (talking into the phone) Hi Liam Hibaby Say hi to Granddad Hannah and Dad both listen, glued tothe phone. Finally, they hear something HANNAH That's him DAD. That's him? Veal that’s himSOMONE RSET eeerrneeeeg eee raee ener eae eeeareeeeeeeeaceeeegee eee EERE CeCe eee st AD, Whar's he saying? HANNAH. Hi Liam, Can you say hi 10 G Say, “Hi Granddad.” “Hi Granddad.” They listen. HANNAH, Can you hear him’ aD. Ubvhuh HANNAH. [think he's tired. Michael? Yeah, I think he’s tired. [No we're all doing good, yeah. Thanks (to her siblings) Michael says hi MAE. Hi Michael MATTHEW. Hi Michael Hanah seps away from the group. HANNAH, (hushed; at her own pace) Hey Today F think. Tdon't know Why don't call you tonight? Huh? JENNY, Mae. Is that a nana Daiateings ee te ole sweater . tonight from the hotel No, no he's doing good. We're all doing ‘good but I should probably- ‘Okay sounds good JENNY, Look Dad! Mac is knitting a sweater ap. I know MAE, He gave me U “MATTHEW. I's pretty JENNY. ¥ Tknit someone a scarf fonce and it cost me ninety dollars MATTHEW. Who's it for? MAE. Lan Bye JENNY. You're knitting it MATTHEW. Are you crazy You Gor OLDER 8s HANNAH. (joining the group] What's going on? JENNY. Mae's knitting a sweater for Tan!!! HANNAH, Mae that's crazy MAE. It's for his birthday HANNAH. I thonght you guys weren't talking. MAE. I mean, I'm still going to give him something for his birthday MATTHEW, Mac. That's pretty nuts You don't want him to think you're obsessed or something MAE. I'm the one who broke up with him! MATTHEW. Or JENNY. [ thought it was pathological! ‘mutual MAE. I's complicated MATTHEW. That's little psycho, Mac. I'm not going to lie HANNAH. Have you heard of the curse? JENNY. Oooh god! Oh no! / The eurse MAE, What are you talking MATTHEW. The curse? abou? HANNAH. You knit someone a sweater, they break up with, you, tunless you've been together five years oF oniger MAE. But we're already broken upl!! JENNY. I can't believe you haven't heard of the curse MATTHEW. I've never heard of the curse HANNAH, Well, if you knit him that sweater, you're never ‘getting back together, trust me MAE. (A) We're not getting back together and (B) that’s not a real curse HANNAH. IL is! Ibis a veal curse! It happened to me MAE, With who? HANNAH. With Johnny MAE, You did not break up over a sweater! HANNAH, No, we did not. But I knit him a sweater, And we broke up. Like three months later.MAE. That doesn't count HANNAH. We were going to get married! MAE. You were not JENNY. It's. a real curse, Mae. Trust me. It happened to one Of my friends, 10. Theit relationship was going great. Really cute relationship. And then boom, She knit him OSE EECeee ere eeearactea a eeeeeeeeeerene ee eee eee once. Maybe several mes, prety sure that Lid he ws fundamental force for en prone Isai that ite died the word would get cee goodness and purity and kindness and love. Bt yeah I didn’ mean i don't think Tmeane i Maybe Tmeanci?t gues Idd mean i Atthe aan die. But anyway. : MATTHEW. Huh HANNAH. And also. Like wo years after Johnny and I broke MATTHEW. The sweater didn't kill him up. He got this horrible, rare blood cancer. And he HANNAH. No died. Maybe? cena Hannah pulls her baseball cap doen, JENNY. I didn’t know Johnny died! HANNAH. And the way I found out is that one day I got this package in the mail. From his mother. And T opened it up. And it was the sweater, She thought I'd want to keep it, or something. So yeah, There's definitely MATTHEW. I didn't HANNAH. But its not just me It’s everyone There isa curs You knit someone a sweater and they break up with you MAE. Or die of cancer HANNAH, Yeah MAE. Well I'm not worvied about it JENNY. Hannah! I can't believe you didn't tell us that Johnny died HANNAH. Yeah. I didn’t tell anyone. I'm sorry. I didn’t want to talk about it JENNY. That’ tervible. You should have told me. He was someone I knew: For like a long time Mae fingers her bump. FENN. I can’t believe that happened to him. Poor Johnny Tnever would've thought that that was going to happen HANNAH. Ijust didn’t want to talk about it. Pm sorry to him JENNY. Dad? Did you know that Johnny died? DAD. I think I did know that HANNAH, No you didn’t, Dad. I didn't tell anyone bur Michael. I'm sorry MATTHEW. I's okay HANNAH, I mean, i's probably not. Okay. But thanks PAD. Last time I was here, I met this very nice man from Philadelphia who was here with his daughter. She's an old daughter, In her fifties. And the man is old too. Maybe eighty-1v0, ae. Ui-nan BAD. He has cancer: And its terminal, There's no they can do " Matmaw. Why did they come all the wayto Seat from Philadetphis is terminal canes PAD. I don’t know. To extend his life? I don’t know. They're back family They si for a minute, HANNAH. I's weird when someone you hate dies of cancer: 1'm preuyy sure I wished that he'd die of cancer. Like verbally wished that he'd die of cancer. More that————— Sl lteett—(i(—(—(—<~i rS—t—t 36 {enn Dad, you don't have to comment on their race AD. What? It's JENNY. Bur if they were a white family you wouldn't have said anything pap, It's detail, / I's detail of my story HANNAH. Should he be taking? Dap. I can talk! I can talk as Tong as I talk carefully HANNAH, I thought she said you shouldn’t be talking DAD. I just want to tell this one story HANNAH, Well ifyou tear your throat up. MATTHEW. It's fine Dad clears his throat DAD. This is just to show you He clears his throat ab. The sort af people we have here He clears his throat DAD. The sort of community and You know, I'm really very hcky MAE, We know Dap. I mean it So this man from Philadelphia JENNY. (A black man) ‘MATTHEW. (Shut up, Jenny) Dab, Was here and { met him, And we became sort of friends. Or friendly And they had to drill four holes in his head and put beads in his skull and then shoot the radiation throug! the beads at bis brain. MATTHEW. Jess aD, It's called a neutron machine therapy They only have three of these machines, Ie’ called neutron In the world (counting on his fingers) Tokyo, Houston, and here so Again, just to show you how lucky And the sort of things we're dealing with here ess is aang aD So eet hae hese beads pat in his forehead Philadelphia To ne. Wh these ens in is fore Ath he nes ep tte ah iy yogurt with sardines cee ses. Da aD. oes down ee. Jo cw DAD. And tis woman the daughter - she wa looking Me tha Ant her shoulder ere jo chang Up and Ao and up addon. fd Ung My ol Shes ering ego to doomething dat Oh no, Da. What dd you do? the MAB. You should just , ’ ignore pople when theyre crying You shouldn't bother them: = DAD. Well I went up behind her MAK. Oh godt | PAD, And I gave her a hug from behind a JENNY. MATTHEW. (laughing) Oh god Dad! ove this storyyou Gor oLpER DAD. And she just about jumped out of her skin JENNY. What did she say? DAD. And it turns ont ~ she wasn't crying JENNY, What did she say ap. And I sad T thought you were cry And she said: “No I'm not crying. I'm sick. 'm sick, 10. ‘And it makes my shoulders shake.” And then we laughed. PAD. [think she liked it think she was touched. Think she got a litle bit teary-eyed, ifyou want to know the truth, 'm sorry just wanted to give you a hug So ‘That’ the kind of place thisis ‘Mae fingers her bump. HANNAH, Why are we being all sad We should be happy! aD. I'm not sad HANNAH. We should be celebrating! This isa happy day! AD. You guys should go out and go shopping. y. / You dor ‘each other's com need t0 be stuck with me JENNY, We're not going to go shopping HANNAH. You know what we need to have sometime soon? ‘A family dance party JENNY. A Funily dance party? HANNAH. Yeah someone needs to get married so we can hhave another family dance party MATTHEW. Not it you Gor oLpER so ‘MAE. Not it AD. Well not me either! MATTHEW. Jenny's got a girlfiend JENNY. Yeah but 'm not going to marry her! HANNAH. Well its gotta be one of you Tid my duty JENNY, Dad I have to go soon Do you think we could ring the gong? HANNAH. Jenny, honey, [think we should wait / until he's feeling better DAD. We can ring the gong JENNY. (exiting to the laly) V'm going to go ask Iris / if we ‘an fing the gong HANNAH. Mattie, Get off your phone MAE. He's texting his girlfriend, MATTHEW. I'm not texting my girlftiend HANNAH. I didn’t know you had a girlftiend!! MATTHEW. I don’t have a girlfiend, JUST LET ME TEXT [MAE. Haha remember when Mom was in the hospital and Mattie brought Ashley HANNAH. Oh my god / you were all over her MATTHEW, Mom loved Ashley MAE. Mom thought Ashley was “alright HANNAH, Mom had crushes on all MATTHEW. Your exboyfriends were assholes HANNAH. Well maybe Mom yas into assholes MAE, Dad? Were you an asshole? MATTHEW. (indicating his phone and exiting) Hello? AD. What? HANNAH. Were you a good boy or a bad bos? MAE, [bet all the ladies loved you, huh? aD. I don’t know. You'd have to ask them JENNY, (in the doorway) Lcan'e find Iris, help me? JENNY. Not it cexboyfriends Can you come /You Gor oLpEr DAD. (with his eyes close) Your mother loved me HANNAH. Here, I'm coming Hannah follows Jenny into the lobby. Mae alone with Dad. MAE, Dad? Are you asleep? ‘Mae looks at her dad. He's seeping. She quietly Dicks up the fgotten picnic ~ placing napkins ‘and paper plates into the bnewn paper bags A Nuase enters. Maybe he's played by the same ‘ator as the Cowboy. Mabe he isthe Cred. NURSE. Hey there MAE. (startled) Hi ‘Mae seurries out of the room, taking the garbage ith her. The Nure exits as Matthew enters MATTHEW. (0 the Nurse) Excuse me Dad opens his ye MATTHEW, Hey: Sorry. (indicating the phone) Stupid work stat How're you doing? AD. Alright. Could I have some water? Maithew pours Dad a glass of water, He hands Dad the cup AD. Thank you MATTHEW. No problem. Daa drinks ‘Mae renters unseen. She watches Matthew with Dad... Jenny enters JENNY. I still can’t find Iris, The lobby's empry MATTHEW. Where's Hannah? JENNY. I don’t know: [lost her, What am I supposed to do about Iris?! MATTHEW. I'm sure she'll be back in five minutes JENNY. But [have to g0 MATTHEW. What do you want me to say, Jenn JENNY. want to be here when you ring the gong but Iris is ‘missing and I have to go DAD. Well why don't we just do it veal quick and then we'll do itagain for real when Irs is back MATTHEW. I think i's against the rules to ring the gong ‘without Iris, feeling great. Tjust need to sit up AD. What's the proble JENNY. You're sure you're feeling well enough? ap. Yeah, He sits himself up and climbs out of bed with some dificult. 1° a litle terrifying to se him standing upright, Hannah enters HANNAH. Whoah, dad, What's going on? MATTHEW. Apparently we're going 10 ring the gong without Irs, JENNY. Do you want my arm, Dad? DAD. I'm fine. I'm just taking it slowly JENNY. (Hold on, just let me get some snacks / for the road) HANNAH. Where's Mae? MAE, I'm right here ‘Mae emerges from the corner where she's been watching her amity like a ghost. Dad wats slow ‘and carefully through the door, down a little hallway ana into the lob, JENNY, Dad! Wait! He’s going HANNAH. Well go after him! JENNY, (evting) Daal MATTHEW. (his siblings) Are you sure this is okay?You Gor oxen HANNAH. Hold on, Let me get my can MATTHEW. Ijust feel like we're gonna jinx it HANNAH. Jinx wha MATTHEW. By ringing the gong. I's like: “Woohoo! All cured! HANNAH, Mattic that’s MAE, So what! He is ‘morbid! We're just ‘gonna take a picture so Jer MATTHEW. Okay but don’t blame me if Irs is pissed HANNAH, (exiting) Come on, guys. Chop chop ‘MAE. You okay, Mattie? MATTHEW. I wasn’t texting my girlfriend MAE. I know MATTHEW. No one texts me MAE. I know I'm sorry. No one texts me either MATTHEW, Are you okay? LENNY. (calling fom the lably) Are you guys coming? MATTHEW. Sorry JENNY. Oh my god, I'm going to be so late HANNAH. Okay. ‘ve got my cameral ‘Matthew exits. Mae lingers for just moment, taking it all in. She pulls down her baseball cap ‘and exits JENNY, Isn't there supposed to be a little ceremony or something HANNAH, I don’t know, honey. I think you just ring it AD. Should Tring it? (MATTHEW, Just fake ring it, Dad AD. I'm not going to fake ring it MATTHEW. Just pose for the picture with Jenny and then you can ring it for real when Iris gets back HANNAH. Come on, Jenny Go stand by Dad YoU Gor oLpER 6s JENNY. Aren't you all going to be in the picture? HANNAH. Mattie, Mae, Get in the picture JENNY. Is anyone going to say anything HANNAH. Maitie, Read the inscription MATTHEW. Out loud? HANNAH. Come on, / just read it MAB, Ring this bell Three times well coll to= MAE &e MATTHEW. Clearly sy, My treatment’s done ‘This course is run And Lam on my way! HANNAH, Amen JENNY. Are you ready dad? MATTHEW. Just fake ring it, Dad DAD. Okay. Here I go Daa rings the gong. It makes the tiniest, muffiest of sounds JENNY, Dad that was pathetic AD. I thought it was a real gong, one of those kind! that reverberates / You know, you barely touch it and it reverberates MATTHEW. No it’s just a cheap gong JENNY. IL is a real gong. It is. You just have to ring it the right way. Try it agai aD. Okay. I'm going to ring it again, I'm going to ring it really loud this time JENNY. Ring it Dad! You've got the camera? MATTHEW, Not too loud! MAE, Ha HANNAH, I've got the camera. Pm filmi thing a. Okay I'm gonna ring it HANNAH. Okay here goes! We've watching? if this / whole6 YoU Gor OLDER JENNY. You're done! You're one! You're done! Daa rings the gong. Once, tice, thre times. Four times. Fre times. Sis times. Seven. Itis realy loud. Hereverberats throughout the hospital. Jenny covers her ears Back home. Dad and Mae winterize the garden ‘The pepper plants are dead. Mae breaks the stalks ‘and stufs them ino a big black garbage bag. Dad swatches. They wear heavy-duty winter coats. I's cold DAD. So MAE. Okay DAD. Is that okay? MAE. I's otaly fine AD. So whats your plan to support yo MAE. Support mysell? aD, How are you going to pay your bill? And what about h MAE, Um DAD. Are you applying for jobs or MAE. Actually I just got an interview ab. You did? ‘MAE. Yeah T was going to tell you about it once I knew how ab. What kind of interview MAE. IVS at this boutique firm They do Sports Law AD. Do you do Sports Law? She shrugs. MAE. I've done some entertainments ab. That's great! ‘When’s the interview m going to ask you those bad questions now rel alth insurance? | You Gor OLDER 6s MAE. This afternoon DAD. This afternoon! Mae! A fe you prepared? MAE. I'm going to Skype it PAD. Is that okay? ‘MAE. Yeah they said it's fine. [told them I wasin Washington State AD. Did you tell them why? MAE, No. [just said that Iwas in Washington State AD, Mae! You should tell them why! MAE, I'm not going to tell them why! ‘DAD, You don’t have to make a ig deal of it Just say you're home taking care of your dad MAE. Dad. I'm not going to say that AD. Let me give you some advice: ‘When you're dealing with something like this It’s always best to bring it up early and casually ‘MAE. Dad, You're stressing me out AD. Just hear me out ‘You want to mention it right away, just offthe-culf Hey! Thanks for th taking care of my dad but I'd be happy to do something, over Skype You never know. Maybe they'll even want you more if they know why you're away MAE. Dad. Stop. DAD. What? It’s admirable! I'd want to hire a candidate ‘who went home to take care of her dad! Did you tell them why you lost your job? MAE. Dad! Not Da. You have ol ther why yous your You don terview! I'm in Washington State want them to think you were fired. Ie wasn MAE, I'm going to explain itin person aD. On Skype? -MAE. In person on SkypeDAD. Well atleast tell them why you're in Washington State MAE, already set up the interview. [already didn’t mention it. There's nothing I can do. You're just stressing ime ut by telling me what I did wrong PAD. What if they think you're on some kind of pleasure MAE. They don't think I'm on a pleasure cruise! PAD. What if they think you should've flown back for the MAE. The lady said Skype was fine 1 asked her if should fly back and she said, “No. DAD. Let me tell ou a story= MAE. Dad Dap. Just~ Give me, okay- Tm going to tll you a story to illustrate my point= MAE. I don’t wanta story: 'm just going to do the interview Wl see how it goes AD. Just let me tell you a story MAE. Okay fine DAD, The other week | was really stessing ont about some shipments that hadn't come in MAE. Ubvdiah, PAD. And this woman ~ one of our vendors ~ was really ssiving me the runaround You know, follow up in a few days and bullshit like that And I finally said to her: You know, lad: Pm sorry but Pm actually away from the office undergoing cancer treatments right now, and it’s rally hard for me to follow up, And wouldn't you know it was all taken care of within twenty-four hours, Like that6s DAD. Okay MAB, I'm just trying to Okay explain to you why We're done, Mac you're wrong! eae You're wrong! Argh! Why are you so stupid sometimes? It’ obvious you're wrong! Dad goes back inside. Mae alone in the garden, Maybe she catches @ glimpse of the Cowbe. She watches him for a moment and then he’s gone Mae's bedroom at night. Is dark. A face appears fn Mae's window. She opens the window MAE, Hi MAG. Hi MAE. Thanks for coming MAC, Of course MAE. You wanna come in MAG. Heh heh This is really great Mac haus himself up onto the wind MAG. Should I just MAE. Shhh We have to be quiet MAG. Oh fsck. Is your dad here? MAE, Yeah, He's sleeping MAG. So this is like your childhood be MAB, Actually is Hannah's room MAC. Weird! vel ‘Mac is sil siting om the windowsill, his fot dangling above Mae's bd. Mac. Um Tm going to have to stanel on the bed for a second to ‘get inside the room MAE. That's okay MAC. Do you want me to take my shoes off frst MAE. No it’s fine Mac puts his fet om the bed and lowers himself down into a squat. They’ both sort of squatting on the bed. They don't touch, MAC. So here Tam, ‘On Hannah's bed MAE. Yes Mac and Mae squat om Hannah's be. MAG. Do you want to get under the covers? MAE. In a minute Mae erawls over to Mac. She puts her arms around his nec MAE. Is this okay? MAG. OF course ‘She wraps her logs around his waist, She holds him MAE. Oh my god Thaven't been touched in so long, She holds him. MAE. This feels so good, Mac MAG. I'm glad MAE. It feels really good Teould do this all night MAG. I want to make you feel good MAE. Thanks Mae holds Mac. She breathes him in. MAE, Wait, Have you been drinking? MAC. A TitleMAB, How drunk are y ‘MAG. Nor that drunk. MAE, How drunk MAC. Justa few beers MAE, I wish you hadn't been drinking MAC. Pm sorry MAE. It's just, Lean smell it, you know MAC. Sorry Mae MAE. I's alright ‘Mae stays there~ her arms and legs sill wrapped around Mac. He tries to kiss her but she holds him tight and there’ nowy to got to her mouth, ‘MAE. Can you squeeze me? MAG. What? MAB, Just ike hold me really tight ‘Mae squeces Mae mally tight. MAE. Yeah, just squeeze me Mac squeeces Mae. Mae squeces Mae MAE, Don't stop squeezing ‘Mae squeces Mae tight. He releases her MAC. I'm sorry My arms are tired MAE. That's okay ‘Mae and Mac sit on Hannah’ bed MAC. Do you sill have your rash? you Gor oLve MAE. I's mostly gone MAG, Can I see it Knock atthe door Mae and Mac are petrified PAD. Mac? Are you in there? ‘Mac? You asleep? Can Teome in? Tm sorry about earlier | just don't want you to get in your own way ‘You inherited that from me, [think Mac? You sleeping? Tean't sleep Long agonized silence. Finally Dad is gone MAG, That was 50 intense! MAE. Maybe you should go MAC. No, no, no. I'l be quiet eel like I'm in high school. Fm so turned on MAE, Mac? I think I should go talk to him, I think you should go Mac. No come here, Just kiss me for a minute and then TL 0, I promise Mag. Um MAC. Is that alrigh ICT kiss you? ‘Mac pults Mae toward him and kisses her. They ‘make out alte, Then Mac pulls away from her” MAC. Okay. That's it. You're cut off. Go talk to your dad, ‘Mae laughs. She loses her eyes MAE. He's probably sleeping MAG. I don't know MAE, Don you think he’s asleep? They stay lke that for a minute, Mae with her eyes closed. Mac holding her at a distance. Then she leans in and kisses him. ICs alittle sexy, pretty sloppy. Hands under clothes, et. MAC. You know, Ive been thi MAE. Really? MAG. Yeah, I've been thinking about you because Wait. How old’s your dad? MAE. Sixtytwo MAC. Yeah, I've been thinking about you because My Mom, when she had me, MAE. Wow MAC. Yeah And when kids used to make fun of me at schoo! and stuffand be mean to me, used to say: everyone lives {0 one hundred, And my mom is twentysix and your ‘mom is fortyfour or whatever, then that means that [ Bet eighteen more years with my mom than you do MAE. (laughing) Oh man that’s brutal MAC. But I mean, of course, that’s not true, Because my mom could die before your dad, I mean, still, Even, with everything. I's possible MAE, ‘MAC. Like my mom lives in California And I see her like Once, maybe twice a yea For a few days at a time Wg about you ifT'm Icky You Gor OLDER ‘And you've been here for what? ‘So that’s like six years In my book nd even if I addled up all the days All the days I'm going to spend with my mom for the rest of my life So let's say one week a year times fifty more years that’s like fifly weeks thar’ like one more year of life, one more year of actual days, spent together, in each other's company, I mean, after eighteen years of growing up together, one more year of days, and Tknow there's like the Internet and phone calls and stuff, but one more year of actual days together in each other's company before. MAE. Hey Mae? Can you stop? ‘MAC. Oh. P'm sorry MAE. No, no. I's fine. Is just This is kind of making me really sad MAC. Dm sorry, Mac 1 jst wanted to Tike Tall to you, you know? | jst wanted you to feel like you could talk to me about stuf mean, if you needed someone to talk to MAE. No. I appreciate it Mac and Mae on Hannah's bed. ac. Um Before I forget don’t have a condom MAE. Oh MAC. I meant to pick some up on the way but L forgot MAE. That's okay MAG. Are you on— MAE, No. Not right now. stopped taking it MAC. Oh. Okay, cool soMAE, Wait. Actually. I might have a condom Mae dives cverthesde of the bed. MAC. I mean, we comld also just T mean, I'm honest ead oe MAE. Hanna used to keep a condom down here For Tdon't know She was not having sex in high school MAG. Yeah, me either Nee. Ane ; down here = Where isit? Shoot My mom must've found it and thrown it away Mae still dangling off the side of the bed. Mac slaps her as, ‘MAE. Thanks Mae sill hanging off the edge ofthe bd. MAG. Mac? Are you going to come back? MAE. I'm feeling shy MAC. That's alright Mae stilt hanging ofthe ele of the bed. MAG. I used t have this girlfriend who liked it wher poured boiling water on her boobs MAE, Really? MAG. Not boiling But like kettle water Almost boiling (On her boobs MAE. I've never done that MAG. H used (0 like..give her baths ‘Mae sill hanging off the edge of the bed MAG. Hey Mae We don't have to have sex Ifyou don't want to do it without a condom, Thats totally fine We can just, Hang out MAE, I'm just MAC, Or cuddle? 'm down for whatever MAK. I'm just feeling alittle paranoid right now MAC, That's okay g. Which is stupid MAC. It’s not stupid I feel lke every blowjob [ give is one blowjob closer 10 death, you know what I'm saying MAC, Not relly MAE. Like in terms of time, sure But also in terms of Disease Like when someone's dick is dow my throat ALT can think about is Like Cancer And how I'm going to be sixty-two and die From giving too many blowjobs in my youth Which won't happen But E mean, it could Iecould actually happen And I know I shouldn't worry about that 1 should just be focusing on my dad mean, i's litle selfish to worry about that Ws totally selfish Because I'm healt But I mean, let's be honest Who knows what the fuck is going on inside of me 'm breaking out in rashes, Fean't sleep. can’t eatMy glands are swollen Mac? Just fack me Just promise you won't cum inside me it's fine Mac? MAG. What? MAE, What? MAC. Sorry MAE, I said, lets have sex. MAC. Sex? MAE. Ye Ifyou want MAC, Honestly Tm prety tired Right now MAE. Are you sleepin MAC. A litle taybe I just fell asleep fora litle bit Tdon't know Mae pulls herself up from the edge ofthe bd. MAE, Whoah All the blood is rushing to my head Mac? Mac is sleping MAE. Mac! You can’t sleep here She pokes him MAE, Come on, Mac She starts to say his name, very patiently, very (quia. A litle scared to wake him up. Mac? you Gor OLDER 7 Mac? She hits him hard MAC, Jesus Christ MAB, Sorry. You were sleeping MAG, What time is it? MAE, You need to go home MAG. The window is open MAE, I know MAG. Was T sleeping? MAE, Yealt MAC. God! I'm tired, My shoes are on. MAE, Yeah I know. You need t0 £0 MAG. Sorry. I'm going to sit up ‘Mac sts up. He gathers his things and clambers onto the windowsill MAC. Hey Mae. I'm sorry MAE. I's alright MAC. We should do this again sometime wh So tired. Maybe when it’s not so late, Maybe even sometime when it's light outside MAE. Sounds good “He clambers out the window MAC. God it’s cold out here His face framed in the window. MAC. You're fucking sexs; do you know that? MAE. Goodnight MAC. Goodnight78 YoU Gor oLper Mac runs off into the might. Mae shuts the window ‘and males a beeline for the door. She opens it. The Gowboy is framed in the doorway, blocking her ext COWROY. Where are you going? MAE. I need to go check on my dad COWBOY, You weren't 100 worried about him before MAB, No he needs me, he can't / se COWBOY. I'm sure he’s sleeping by now MAE. (fighting o get around him) Get the fuck out of my way ‘cownoy. SETTLE DOWN She does, MAE. I don't feel good COWBOY. You know what I do-when an animal is sick? Take ‘out back and I shoot it Its the mereiful thing to do Mae tres to getaway from him but he goes after her grabs hex, holds om to her. She collapses into im MAE. Luke, I need you to make love to me slowly and sgently and heal my body ‘CowpoY. I can’t do that, Ma MAE, (defeated) Obliterate me then He slams her into the wall and fucks her The bright light of morning. I's snowing. Mae femerges Weary eyed and hungover from the night efoe. Dad is atthe table with a special breakfast MAE. I's snowing! vou Gor oLpER ” DAD. know MAE. I's all white DAD. I had to shovel the driveway MAE. Champagne! Why is there champagne AD. I don’t know. I thought we deserved it MAE. Are you having some? aD. I'm drinking water MAE. You found the cheesecake! AD. It was in the freezer MAE. It's Jenny's cheesecake DAD, Why does Jenny have a cheesecake? MAE. Hannah bought it for her birthday We forgot to eat it at the hospital DAD, It's Jenny's birthalay MAE, I know aD. Yesterday! We have to call her MAE. She called while you were napping. I told her we'd call her back today AD. Don't let me forget They stand thee with their glass, MAE. I rescheduled my interview AD, Oh. Is that okay? MAE. It was no big deal aD, Okay MAE, So I think I should probably fly back for it DAD. [think so, too MAE, So I guess I should probably fly back pretty soon, They smile at each other. Ths ea a litle painful DAD. I think that's good. MAE. So I guess I have to find a place to live DAD. You will, Mae. Pais youYou Gor over But I think that’s good For both of us MAB. (laughing) Dad DAD. In a You know Inanice way MAE, Well cheers ab. Cheers ‘She goes to clink glasses. He sop her ap. (Water) ‘Mae drinks her champagne, Dad holds his glass DAD. I's strange but. ways as been one of the most wonderful years of my DAD. I know: I'm not the same. Bor thete are other things. 've gained, so Human. Experience. DAD. I'm looking forward, is what m= MAE. That's good. ‘Mae drinks her champagne, Dad cuts the cake. MAE. Wee never had a fie! aD. No! We didn't MAE. How's your throat? AD, You know. I's fine MAB, Are you having some? [cheesecake] DAD. I'l uy a litte piece MAE. Geez. The last time I had cake for breakfast was, DAD. Wait. Do we have candles? YoU Gor OLDER a MAE, can get some AD. Why don’t you get some candles, We'll sing to Jenny: Mae disappears into the hitchen Dad touches his nck. Mae comes back carrying two tall red dinner candles MAE. Okay. We're using these She ticks thet candles in the cake AD. It looks like the devil A devil cake MAE. I's not a devil cake, I’sa cheesecake DAD. Here let me light them Dad lights the candles, He launches into song. DAD. WHY WAS SHE BORN SO BEAUTIFUL? (WHY WAS SHE BORN AT ALL? SHE'SNO BLOOMIN’ USE-TO ANYONE SHE'SNO BLOOMIN’ USE AT ALL [MAE What in the world is that? Dad laughs. DAD. It's the Hardy Family Birthday song, MAE. It is not! DAD. It was when I was a kid! Your Great Uncle Julius used tosing it MAE, That's terrible song DAD, I know (MAB. Sing it again DAD, WHY WAS SHE BORN SO- ‘MAE, Wait, Let me get my camera Mae grabs her phone. MAE. Okay, ready? Jenny's going to hate this Sing it again |st You Gor OLDER DDAD. WHY WAS SHE BORN SO BEAUTIFUL? WHY WAS SHE BORN AP ALL? SHE’SNO BLOOMIN’ USE TO ANYONE SHE'S NO- MAE. Oh shit. One more time I didn’t press it Fm sony Hi Jenny DAD, WHIY WAS SHE BORN SO BEAUTIFUL? WHY WAS SHE BORN AP ALL? SITE'S NO BLOOMIN’ USE TO ANYONE SHE'S NO BLOOMIN’ USE AT ALL Can I blow? [the candles] -ah, go ‘Mae plays it back on the phone. We hear Dad singing through the phone's speakers ~ his voice small and far away. They bth watch the video. MAE. Perfect Dad blows out the candles, He tiesto eat his cake, bout its dificult to chew, dificult to swalioa.. He ‘makes the best of it ‘Mae watches Dad straggling. She fingers her neck She doesn't touch her cake AD. You sleep okay? MAE. Fine DAD. I remember when you kids were k and you had Imares you used to sit outside our door and call for your mother. Just: Mom... Mom... Mom... Over and over again ntl she finally heard you and got up AD. I don't know how she heard you, You we Tnever heard you. ‘Mae pushes her cake aside, MAE, Dad? Can T ask you a favor? AD, Sue, Mae. MAE, Can you touch the hump in my neck? AD. Uh, sure, ifyou want me 10 MAE. I'm sorry: But will you just touch it and tell me if it feels weird? I know 'm being stupid. 1 just AD. No, Lean touch it ‘MAE, Thank you DAD, Where is it? MAE. Tucked 1p behind my jaw bone on the right hand side Dad gently searches for Mae's tump under her jawbone. ap. I can’t find it MAB. ICS way up in there aD. Sorry. Iean't find it [Mae takes Dad's hand and guides it to her ump. DAD, Oh! Oh! There itis. Dad fingers Mae's neck MAE, What are you doing? AD. Just feeling it. He considers it canfuly. Ths can take some time DAD. I think i's fine, Yeah. I's fine He smiles at er. The whole thing has een a hind of benediction Something maves outside the windows. DAD, Ob my= ‘MAE, What? ‘What?You Gor oupEr aD. Shhh Deer MAE. Deer? aD, Deer! MAE. Where? DAD. Right there MAE. Where? AD. Right there, Mac MAE, I don’t see then (sexing then) Ob may Deer! Deer! DAD. Deer! MAE. Deer! They both stand for a moment ~ very still, very (quiet — looking ont at the dee. DAD. Oh they're gone. The stage flashes whit. Everything white, Fet and Jeet of snow everywhere. Very bright sun. Mae in ‘the middle ofall that white. It hurts our ees, it’s so bright. MAE. And I'm out walking Further than I've walked in months And the whole world is cold and white But the cold feels kind of good on And Teel warm in n And [keep walking All the way from my apartment to downtown Minneapolis, Until my feet get cold and wet with sweat And I duck into a Trailblazer looking for some boots Al the snow boots in all the world are sole-out o1 Tm not joking. This is not a joke They are actualy sold-out Because people are freaking out About the Polar Vortex y face you Gor oLpER 4s So I'm not particularly hopeful when I duck into this Trailblazer But there’sa man there holding a box of insoles and he says they have one pair left. Sorels "What size are you?” Ima size seve “Shoot. These are sixes.” But I try them on anyway. And they fit Sorels run big, Ite him. (His name is Erie) “They're not making any more this season,” Erie says ‘That's crazy! They’ al sold out! “You better be careful walking home. People are going to try to steal those boots from you.” [And Eric calls me “the luckiest git in all of Minneapolis.” ‘And I walk home hugging those boots to my chest In the elevator of my building An old lady is talking to the doorman He shouts at her, “Pea soup is better! I want Pea soup!” “Sure thing, Bob. I've just gotta get some" (Elevator closes) “Hambone. She tums to me, explain rneenty-five years, We make th cool” *T've known Bob for s for each other. I's Riscool “That's what friends are fo And Igo into my apartment ‘And I put on my boots And I think about what I want to eat for dinner And I start to feel something. ‘That I haven't felt in awhile Ina long while What is this feeling? HappinessYoU Gor OLDER For no reason at all Just happiness Just standing in my living room wearing boots Just fall ‘Of happiness For no reason. Just standing in my boots All alone A phone ringing. Mae's dad, very far away, A great distance between then, MAE. Hi Dad. What's DAD. Hli Mae How are you? MAE. I miss you AD. I miss you, 100 ‘What did you do today? MAE. I just bought some boots. They were the last ones in the store. And they're not my size but they fit ab. That's good MAE. What's going on? AD. [just wanted to (MAE. Are you at work? AD, Well actually ‘The line goes quiet MAE, Hello-? DAD. Well hold on here, I had a whole thing pl ‘MAE. Dad what's wrong? AD. I wanted to chat first and then= (Dad's voice breaks.) Vim sorry, I thought I had myself together Why don't you tell me about your day? ‘MAE. Dad. What's wrong? You're freaking me out. Just tell re what's wrong. ined you Gor OLDER a Dad tres to alk but he can't because he's erying. It doesnt need tobe literal at all We shouldn't be able {to make out words ~ just the attempt to speak and communicate despite great emotion. Not sobbing. Tecan be strange and alienating. Words tying (0 push through emotion and failing. ve written one possibility of what Dad's trying to sayin brackets. But mally, it can be whaler fels right you AD.

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