SESSION 2 EDITING BUSINESS MESSAGES

SAMPLE 1

QUESTION: Incorrect Billing by Fast Freight Corp.

You are the accounting department manager of a reputable florist. Today, April 5, you received a
$106.50 bill from Fast Freight Corporation. The bill shows two deliveries - air bill #18694 and #25479 -
unpaid since January 20 and February 9, respectively. You have cancelled cheques and invoices
showing that both these shipments were paid when delivery was made. Your firm always pays freight
on delivery. You resent the computerized statement across the bottom of todays bill: THIS IS OUR
FINAL REQUEST BEFORE REFERRING THIS TO A COLLECTION AGENCY. REMIT NOW. This is the first
billing you have received. Your firms general manager has decided to immediately switch to another
airfreight company that is more careful in their bookkeeping.

Write to the general manager of Fast Freight Corporation.

Date Oct 5,2015

SUB : Receipt of bills #18694 and #25479

Dear Sir,
This is with respect to the bill which shows two deliveries-air bills #18694 and #25479- unpaid since January 20
and February 9 respectively. We have established a reputation for paying freight when it arrives. Moreover we
have canceled checks and invoices conforming that the amount was paid during delivery.
We have received the intimation for the first time but the letter says that it is the final call. I would request you
to check the system again for this issue. These type of issues shows youre carelessness which may lead us to
change the carrier.
Enclosing the checks and invoices.

Yours Sincerely
Dan John
Accounting Department Manager

SAMPLE 2:

Your letter complaining about your faulty DVD20 was received by us today. We will be sending one of
our technicians, Brian Lee to check out the fault next Wednesday afternoon.

The failure of the machine is very disturbing. This really shouldnt happen when our machines are
checked before they leave our shop. I wonder if youve followed the instructions in the book properly?

Anyway Brian will see if its something that can be fixed on the spot or if its defective well replace you
with a new DVD.

Hope its resolved satisfactorily but if not please give me a call.

SAMPLE 3:

I am speechless at such incompetence! You obviously dont care at all about your customers otherwise
you would take more care to avoid the time and trouble your inefficiency has cost me, not to mention
the expense!

In my household we pay an extra fee to have two separate entries in the local phone book one for my
wife and one for myself. As it is you have ignored my specific instructions to enter our names as we
wished. The entry of E James is totally useless. Look at the book and see for yourself how many more E
James there are in Sheffield! I wanted my first name including for obvious reasons of clarity, but you just
ignored my request. As if that wasnt bad enough, you even printed the wrong number! For goodness
sake, how much more wrong can you get?

I demand an immediate explanation and formal apology.

I am speechless at such incompetence! You obviously dont care about your customers otherwise you
would take more care to avoid the time and trouble your inefficiency has cost me, not to mention the
expense!

In my household we pay an extra fee to have two separate entries in the local phone book one for my
wife and one for myself. As it is you have ignored my specific instructions to enter our names as we
wished. The entry of E James is totally useless. Look at the book and see for yourself how many more E
James there are in Sheffield! I wanted my first name including for obvious reasons of clarity, but you just
ignored my request. As if that wasnt bad enough, you even printed the wrong number! For goodness
sake, how much more wrong can you get?

I demand an immediate explanation and formal apology.