My Journey

through Past, Present

and Future

Book One
By: Helena Hartman
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 via fairy tales or real life journeys, where like my
Prologue journey. And what an exciting journey it was.
Stories are part of my spiritual journey,
and each story is a frame in time. And each frame - Bon Voyage, Christina Love
had a different picture. Each picture where I Email me comments or questions at:
was in seemed to finite and painful, but once I mail.christina.love@gmail.com
mastered the situation; there was a new picture, in
a new frame, which also seemed to be finite.
But these pictures were all part of my
spiritual journey towards a greater consciousness
to help me to where I am today. I know that
these arent my last pictures. Even if there is
despair each picture is not finite.
So when you look at your spiritual journey,
each situation may just be a frame in time. So
there is always hope and no need to despair.
They are just frames in time towards greater
God consciousness, and the stories as time frames,
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 - Helena Hartman
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 Reconnecting language to reality, clarifying
what we mean by individualism and democracy,

Chapter 1 making these realities central to the citizen's life,

identifying ideologies in order to control them, these
are among the first elements of equilibrium which
Polarities Saul proposes in these lectures.
Everything that comes into being is polarized.
OUR SOCIETY, John Ralston Saul argues in the Masculine Feminine
1995 Massey Lectures, is only superficially based Cold Warm
on the individual and democracy. Increasingly it is Inner Outer
conformist and corporatist, a society in which Active Passive
legitimacy lies with specialist or interest groups and East West
decisions are made through constant negotiations
between these groups. The task of art is to connect these polarities as Georgia
OKeefe does below in black and white.
The paradox of our situation is that knowledge has
NOT made us conscious. Instead, we have sought
refuge in a world of illusion where language is cut
off from reality.
Because we are basically unconscious we are
becoming increasingly conformist and corporatist.

The key question for our time is the need to ask

who are you and who am I? Because if I dont
know who I am and you dont know who you are
we may follow the wrong star home.
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 A great truth is a truth whose opposite is also a
great truth
Niels Bohr
.
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The polarity of day and night in photographs and
paintings
Light of Day
The Light of the Night

Cosmic nebula
- Vincent van Gogh

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The struggle between the God Self and the
animal self.

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God created pain and sorrow

That happiness might show itself by contrast

For hidden things are made manifest
By means of their opposites

Since God has no opposite

He is hidden

- Rumi

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 Chapter 2
Fairy Tales
Fairy Tales come from Spiritual Sources and tell us
about our souls journey and destiny. The heart
knows more than the head will admit.

We cant use the material logical in order to

understand them. It is about unfolding reality and
metamorphosis, not logic. It is an unfolding and it is
hidden, but can be found if you follow signs along
the way.

Rudolph Mayer

- Sulamith Wulfing

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 Fairy Tale princes are more real
than the adults around us and their
trials and tribulations are more
real than everything around us.

The characters lead us to discover

the treasure in our own souls. We
become aware of the sorrows of
life, and the guidance of destiny.

Faifulness makes the soul

beautiful. Purity is the souls
highest joy and only in poverty
does the inmost radiance begin to
shine.

We must at the same time risk our

life to win a princess.

Rudolf Meyer
- Sulamith Wulfing

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It becomes clear that we were born on
earth just because there were so many
wonderful adventures waiting for us, and
to discover the Inner Kingdom where
we are all Kings and Queens.

Fairy Tales take place in the inner soul

realm which pass through their
transformations.

Evolution is repeated in some form or

other as a stage in the life of each
individual. The struggles of the 16-19th
centuries are reflected in the experience of
adolescence when the head takes over and
the soul is cut off from Spirit, which
guided childhood. The whole place falls
under an evil spell.

- Rudolf Meyer

- Arthur Rackham

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The being of the child is
immortal. It can be
enchanted but never
destroyed.

World sleep can take over

souls for a whole epoch
while the intellect
develops, but the
materialistic epoch will one
day pass away.

They have to break through

the magic spell of the
intellect.

The Awakener who had

kissed awake the eye of the
soul and freed the palace
from the magic spell.

- Rudolf Meyer

- Arthur Rackham
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They are the prototypes of our
own souls powers and stages of
development.

We have to go beyond sense

perception and sequential thinking
to direct experience, where the
souls awakening is a return to
earliest childhood.

- Rudolf Meyer

Jesus said, We must become as

children to enter the Kingdom of
Heaven.

- Sulamith Wulfing

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In all the past we had
flowing pictures and they
dreamed solutions to the
secrets of the world.

Picture vision revealed itself

more reliably the less
reflective reasoning was
involved.

Fairy Tales always have to do

with a return from exile, the
self-alienation of the human
soul, and the rediscovery of
eternal childhood.

- Sulamith Wulfing
- Rudolf Meyer

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The childs health and development
of the body is nourished by Fairy
Tale Pictures.

Spirit is threatened with extinction in

the world of the senses, when the
lower personality suppresses the
memory of the souls true origin.

The soul, by a powerful act of self-

recollection, leads it back to the
spirit. Then the soul can celebrate its
royal wedding.

- Rudolf Meyer

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The Apple Tree is the Tree of
Knowledge of which the serpent took
possession.

Is the Serpent seeking to win over the

souls powers that have remained pure
and virginal in order to destroy the
eternal in the human being?

At the end of the Middle Ages, the

ancient spiritual knowledge begins to die
away and new intellectual powers
emerge with great premises.

Research into the world of the senses by

means of purely earthly laws and mastery
of this world via technology are the gifts
that come from this pact with the force
Rudolph Steiner calls Ahriman.

- Rudolf Meyer

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By giving herself over to purely intellectual
knowledge, the soul allows her bond with the
divine to gradually die.

In pursuit of materialistic knowledge, Humans

can be trapped by a black magic that can destroy
the soul.

A Human may devote himself without harm to E

arth knowledge that leads him to the Ahrimanic
power as long as he can see through that power
and at the same time develop and strengthen his
moral sense.

- Rudolf Meyer

- Albrecht Drer

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The Kingdom of
the Night washes
the imagination.

It can rise above

earth reason and
comprehend by
artistic creativity
a world which is
still hidden from
sight.

Every evening
when we go to
sleep the wind
blows away the
dried up
consciousness of K. Neilson
the intellectual
Human, and a
mighty battle
always takes
place within the
human organism
whenever we
wake up.

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 -
- Sulamith Wulfing

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The soul has frozen in its own
intellectuality and awaits its
awakening.

Thus the higher intuitive

faculties have been sent to sleep
in the course of Human
Evolution, but can be set free
once more by the victory over
the magician.

It calls for a deed of awakening.

To perform this deed, we must

meet with the Spiritual causes of
that darkening of the soul, for in
this recognition of the Evil ones
activity, a first awakening of the
inner man takes place.

- Rudolf Meyer

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If we dilute the descriptions of the dark
powers or leave them out altogether, we take
from the fairy tale its power of awakening even
though it works unconsciously, for knowledge
of evil calls up the power of the good in human
hearts.

Anyone deeply immersed in the victory of the

good powers alleviated at the end of a fairy
tale, experiences evil as a necessity in the
world.

The human kingdom can shine out only against

a background of darkness.

- Rudolf Meyer

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The responsibility now for mankind
is twofold, the transformation of evil.

The holy grail says that in order to

make good of evil, we need a new
capacity to bring these two opposing
impulses together in a balanced
union.

Which leads to the spiritualization

of creation.

Mani
- Helena Hartman

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Time is not Linear it is circular and sense falsely tells us that what appears - is. The present is the Past.
We keep reliving our past life patterns until they are healed. To gaze at once into the past and future is a
stage of higher knowledge. It is the discovery of the Spirit. Everyone who has pierced through the illusion
of the Sense World bears the Spirit within as a magnificent truth.
- Karl Knig

Time present and time past

are both perhaps present in time future.
And time future contained in time past.
If all time is eternally present,
all time is unredeemable.

What might have been is an abstraction.

Remaining a perpetual possibility
only in a world of speculation.
What might have been
and what has been
point to one end,
which is always present.
-T.S. Eliot

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 Spirit and we need to return to Spirit.
When Scientists play with
our DNA they are playing
with our soul, and that is
Gods Territory.

There are Akashic records in

the Spirit world which keep
track of our lives and we are
meant to have two sides of
our experience, and man has
no right to interfere with
that.

Life is about overcoming

challenges and integrating
our opposite selves. It is
about soul growth not soul
manipulation.

Thats what Fairy Tales tell

us, and it has been said that
Fairy Tales were channeled
from Spirit. We came from

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We are on a Journey that is about Soul Growth
not Soul Manipulation and every time we go
through a transformation we change our DNA
naturally, and thats alchemy. We are the masters
of our Selves and we dont need to hand over our
power to others.
Aldous Huxley said:
We need to be our own Doctor.
We need to be our own Priest.
We need to be our own King.
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INVICTUS
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever Gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
William Ernest Henley
 Chapter 3 Artists
We live in a world of opposites both within and
without.

Henri Matisse was an artist, a uniter of opposites. He

does not paint things in themselves, but the
relationship between them.

He studied law first before he became an artist and

used his colors carefully and studiously. He felt that
details detract and that simplicity is the key.

And he said Im a uniter of opposites.

Matisse lived through much chaos and uncertainty

both politically and financially.

France was invaded three times by Germany during

his lifetime and so he felt driven to create Balance and
Harmony of opposites in his work.

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Jack Bush spent a lifetime searching

He sensed that tradition is passed from person to

person as much as from painting to painting.

He was a man of unexpected contradictions.

He was an accomplished jazz pianist. In music as in

his art Bush claimed his comprehension was
entirely intuitive.

Bush had some compulsion to associate colors and

sounds. His personality fuelled speculation about
the contradictions he embodied.

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Clement Greenberg pointed out that
his paintings had an awkward and
uneasy quality about them and it was
this attribute that Bush particularly
liked.

Behind the proper, smiling tradition

loving artist, crouched a fairly
radical artist whose originality was
irrepressible.

The greater the artist, ascending to

George Bernard Shaw, the greater
the contradictions.

Bushs work keeps getting better

with familiarity and time.

The primal conventions of Bushs

work were established in his study of
Matisse, Manet, Klee, and Muo.
They shaped his attitudes, techniques
and ultimate ambitions. He also tried
to bring balance and harmony
between opposites and thats the
power in his paintings.

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Matisse Jack Bush

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Matisse Jack Bush

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The Fall from Oneness

Into Duality

From the hermaphrodite

Condition

Into the two sexes

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To the world he is known simply as
Pablo Picasso, our centurys
towering artistic genius, an
irresistible sexual sorcerer, a man
whose inexhaustible creativity and
enormous personal magnetism have
become legendary.

Arianne Stassinopoulos Huffington

brings Picasso to full magnificent
life. Based on five years of research,
the book Picasso is the richest,
most intimate and revealing portrait
of the man whose burning passions
for painting, for women, for ideas
were matched by his compulsion to
invent reality in his life no less than
in his art.

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She reveals, in all its volatile
complexity, Picassos lifelong
struggle between his power to create
and his compulsion to destroy.

Picasso is a man of fathomless

contradictions, at war with himself
and the universe: the avowed atheist
who identified with the crucified
Christ; the bohemian rebel who
became the toast of Parisian high
society; the man of the world
tormented by the peasant
superstitions; the ardent lover for
whom the minotaur was a symbol of
his savage sexuality; the proud
father who disowned his children;
the outspoken communist who spent
millions for a life like a tramp under
a bridge of gold; the man whose
exuberance for life masked an
overwhelming terror of death.

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This extraordinary
biography is not just
the life of an
extraordinary man.

It is, in a very real

sense the auto-
biography of the 20th
century.

Picasso mirrored and

epitomized in all its
brilliance and all its
darkness.

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If you marked
on a map all the
places Ive been
to and joined
them up with a
line, it would,
perhaps, make a
minotaur.

- Picasso

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 Picasso said to his
interviewer: You live a
poets life and I live a
convicts life.

When you are in one

extreme or another You
are not free.

- Rumi

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Both Odilon Redon and
Chagall seem to argue
for a visionary
humanism that unites.

Science and folklore

word and icon In a truly
modern religion of art.
Odilon Redon lived
roughly around the
same time as Renoir
1840-1916,

He tried to dispel any

clearcut distinction
between good and evil.
His color appealed to
the Fauves and Chagall.

Redon whose beatific

of good and evil has
continued to bear fruit
ever since.

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Leonardo Da Vinci
painted man and he
painted the state of his
soul.

The former was easy,

the latter hard.

His intense inner

struggle should not be
underestimated and
from it the perfection of
his work flows.

Like Janus, the two

headed God of Rome,
he had a Dual Nature.

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He termed war the
most bestial of
Passions, yet he
designed war
machines.

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He was a vegetarian yet
would dissect someone
who had just died and
he became the
discoverer of
arteriosclerosis.

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At one moment he was
saying that to
understand the world,
one should reduce it to
the particles (which is
modern science) and at
another that we can
only understand the
world by trying to
comprehend the whole.

And out of this solitary

inward struggle he
painted.

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When Leonardo painted
The Last Supper he
trembled before he
painted, not out of fear
or nervousness but out
of the greatness of
vision that inspired
him. All the good and
evil that you have in
you will to a certain
extent appear in your
figures. His paintings
hold a beauty touched
by strangeness

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Edvard Munch
In 1905, a Czech critic described Munch as a painter using terror inspired colors ravaged by all the sufferings
of life a man possessed by ashen horror and gloom, a course barbarian and a subtle decadent, in whose work
both the old world and the new inferno play their parts, in whose pictures shriek out their sufferings and the
mystery of their being.

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- Humanity on the Cross

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He might perhaps as well have
been a criminal as an artist and
the hand which applied colors
to the canvas in this way might
have been equally capable of
wielding a knife or throwing a
bomb.

This man is obsessed by

vampire like dreams:

He is not only a painter of

creative power with purely and
simply a painters vision and
sense of values. He is the
witness of a flowing eruption
of dark forces from the interior
of man, but also a delicate
lyricist with a rare and fragile
magic, a poet and artist of
charm with a melancholy
understanding and insight.

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57
The old art and old
psychology had been an art
and psychology of the
conscious personality,
whereas the new art was the
art of the individual.

Men dreamed, and their

dreams opened up to them
vistas of a new world; they
seemed to perceive the ears
and eyes of their minds
things which they had not
physically heard and seen.

One of the causes of the

enormous excitement which
greeted Munchs art was the
fact that he discovered a
new world in man and
afforded unlooked for
glimpses into the life of the - Edvard Munch self portrait
Psyche.
Munchs art radiated an
unconscious moral
influence.

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Munch was one of the most
prolific and most exhibited
artists of his time.

He did a series called The

Modern Life of the Soul. in
Copenhagen.

He spent time convalescing

in Copenhagen.

It was an inexorable self

examination, like an
intensive search for the
demons which had gained
possession of him.

A mirror of what was

happening in Europe with
the coming of World War
One and World War Two.

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60
The galloping Horse can been
seen as a pendant to the Scream.

It is a panic-stricken depiction
of the terrifying elemental force
expressed in the animal the
small helpless man behind the
horse, supposedly controlling it.

There is a depth psychological

interpretation of these pictures
referring to the lack of
integration between a mans
conscious and unconscious life.

Munch, like Rembrandt, had the

strength to look truth straight in
the eye.

The galloping horse

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- The Scream

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In 1935 Munch took up
the theme of Dr. Faust.

In the painting you see

the walking figure, arm
in arm with another
figure exactly the same -
but shadowy, like a
ghost.

Below the title of the

painting he said: In the
ghostlike figure, I saw
Mephisto.

The painting was

officially called
Mephistopheles II Split
Personality.

Mephisto is part of
Goethes Faust, that
power in the individual,
which works for evil, but
achieves the good.

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Mephistopheles I
The Fight

This picture represents

one figure which is
black, and the other
wounded figure is white.

It is man in battle with

his shadow as Carl Jung
would call it or it is man
in battle with his Double
as Rudolph Steiner
would call it.

And it is also the essence

of what Picasso was
saying with his split
figures (mostly at war
with themselves).

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 Chapter 4
Joseph Jastrab
In his journey to support the souls longing
for wholeness Joseph Jastrab said, He knew
there was something more to be lived. The old
story had run its course and given me all that it
could. Now I was being called to give myself
over to a larger story, one I couldnt yet name
but could feel as a deep longing moving [two
unreadable words] of my body.
It is clear, I need a medicine more potent
than reason alone.

Sphinx, Stonehenge,
Parthenon, Labyrinth

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We need to pierce the veil of illusion
Illusion of our separateness
A pilgrimage that unites the
Disassociated
The disowned and
Rejected parts of ourselves and our world
A pilgrimage that will carry us home by way of a
path with heart. It is clear, I need a medicine
more potent than reason alone.
- Jastrab

Nicholas Roerich

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 - All of Above Nicholas Roerich

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- All of Above Nicholas Roerich

69
 - All of Above Nicholas Roerich

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 There is a hunger that cannot be eased by bread
alone. Its a vague restlessness, a longing for renewed
passion, purpose and meaning in our lives and no
amount of worldly success truly comforts the gnawing
emptiness they feel.
For some the call comes with a desire to become
a parent, unite [unreadable word], marriage and for
many like myself, it comes through a demanding
crisis that wounds deeply. A friend dies a lover leaves
or we lose our job or our health. Bringing the pain out
of hiding is a courageous life affirming step.

71
 Such times of Transition present us with the
opportunity for growth. The world needs a heart. It
needs a heart that is not afraid of bliss, a heart that
knows its tenderness, not as weakness.
We work to touch and embody the deepest
resonance of our souls longing. The souls longing
for wholeness is the most fundamental urge in our
lives, all else follows.
We need to strip away the misconceptions and
resistance we might have, to follow this holy longing
and insatiable hunger for the unknown.

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 In times of flux and transition, our identities as
men and women need to be continually reinvented.
The journey we each make is rarely easy.
Joseph Jastrab interprets the quest by suggesting
that in our longing to know ourselves and our
relationship to God and the world, we must embark on
a journey. We must take leave of the familiar shores
of our known world with its local customs and beliefs.

- Parsifal

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 We must then enter a world of mystery and
uncertainty, a world that we perceive as dangerous
and test ourselves against the onslaught of powers that
threaten to destroy us. We may be called in Spirit to
join the Grail knights, whose passion for wholeness
led them directly to the pathless forest. We may be
invited like Odysseus or Jonah or Jesus to journey into
the underworld, to die in other words to be reborn. Or
we may like Jason trying to navigate below the
treacherous clashing rocks, looking for true passage
through the challenging currents of Duality.

- The Christ Figure, Rudolf Steiner

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 We must understand though that the clashing
rocks, underworlds and pathless forests we meet out
there are in Truth, a reflection of unexplored
territories of conflict and darkness and mystery within
our own minds and hearts.
Facing such challenges, we quickly learn the
limitations of the secular hero who attempts to
conquer by force of will alone.
For the challenges encountered here can only be
met as the hero surrenders in communion with a larger
Spiritual identity.
On a Journey of this sort, every decisive victory
is born out of an equally decisive defeat.

75
 Paradox is more often the rule than the
exception.
Every gift of empowerment on our Quest or
journey comes through the full acceptance of our
weakness.
Every illuminating vision is born out of a dark
night of the Soul.
Passing through those cold nights and refining
fires encourages the hero to draw on resources he may
not know he possesses but that have been lying hidden
within from the very beginning.
He (or me) may be gifted with renewed vision,
vitality, equanimity, and remembrance.

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You say I am repeating
Something I have said before. I shall say it again.
Shall I say it again? In order to arrive there,
To arrive where you are, to get from where you are
not, Transfigured by these courageous acts, the
You must go by a way wherein there is no ecstasy. heart then naturally guides the hero (or heroine)
In order to arrive at what you do not know back to the world he left behind.
You must go by a way which is the way of ignorance. We return to share the fruits of our labors for
In order to possess what you do not possess the good of all our people. Joseph Campbell
You must go by the way of dispossession. observed a vital person vitalizes the world. On this
In order to arrive at what you are not journey, whatsoever you do for yourself, you do for
You must go through the way in which you are not. all of us.
And what you do not know is the only thing you know
And what you own is what you do not own
And where you are is where you are not.
- T.S. Eliot

77
 All spiritual Traditions recognize the urge that
flows beneath the everyday doings of our lives. The
urge for a pilgrimage that will pierce the veil of
illusion of our separateness. A pilgrimage that unites
the disassociated, disowned and rejected parts of
ourselves and our world. A pilgrimage that will carry
us home by way of a path with heart the call to the
souls high adventure which is Dedicated to
Transformation.

- Michael-Angelo

78
Carry the Sun to the Earth
Oh human,
You are placed
Between light and darkness
Be a fighter for light
Love the Earth
Into a Luminous, Precious stone The world is a prison and we are the prisoners; dig a
Transform the plants hole in the prison and let yourself out!!
Transform the animals - Rumi
Transform the self
- Rudolf Steiner

By attempting to avoid responsibility for our own

behavior, we are giving away our power to some other
individual or organization. In this way, millions daily
attempt to escape from Freedom.
- M. Scott. Peck.

79
 Tom Harper says, We are spiritual beings in
animal bodies and persons disguised as animals are
an almost universal feature of ancient ritual and
drama.
If anything is typical of traditional epics, sagas
and folk tales, it is the presence in the text of
animals that can speak.

- Sulamith Wufling

80
 Plato says, We are gods as to intellect, but in
body, we are animals.
The ancient Egyptian gods had the bodies of
humans, but the heads of an extraordinary range of
animals and birds and the Hindu god Ganesh has an
elephants head.
For the ancients of Platos time and even long
before in Egypt and elsewhere, the knowledge that we
are spiritual beings or souls in animal bodies.

81
 You see this in the thousands of stories from
around the world of animals who are suddenly
transformed into shining princes or beautiful
princesses by a kiss, a magic wand, or the slaying of
some monstrous dragon.
Within all our animal natures, lies the potential
to realize true divinization or the Christ within.
Frog Princess, top right. Beauty and the Beast,
lower right.

82
 Chapter 5
The Green Snake and
the White Lily
Goethe used Imaginary Pictures to show the
way in which a human soul could become Whole and
Free by the Fairy Tale The Green Snake and the
Beautiful Lily. He was opening a new thinking for a
new knowledge for the future development of
Humanity.
The snake and the lily are the two poles that the
striving soul must unite in the right way. The Green
Snake represents the Subterranean forces of the Soul
and is the embodiment of the sum of earth
experiences, which when ripe when the time comes
can be sacrificed to form a permanent and fully
conscious bridge to the Spirit, represented by the
white lily.
- Helena Hartman

83
 Both Goethe and Schiller wanted to see The
Free human Personality which is the art of the Fairy
Tale.
The white lily unites past, present and future
into the now. The whole Tale is a picture of one
Human Soul; all the figures and events are the
interacting forces within the one striving human soul.
The forces have an individual existence which the
characters give expression to.
Between that Spiritual world to which man can
raise himself by clairvoyance and the world of the
intellect and the senses the Fairy Tale is the Truest of
all mediums and makes possible for the Fairy Tale to
prepare the human soul to receive again the higher
Spiritual world.

- David Newbatt

84
 Goethes Fairy Tale by Charles Kovacs. The
sacrifice of the Green Snake represents the sacrifice of
the unconscious and makes a happy ending possible
between the two polarities of Lily and the Snake:
Lily: Light, vertical, conscious
Snake: Darkness, horizontal, unconscious
The green snake is a symbol of the unconscious
forces represented by sleep, living underground and in
darkness.

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 How can man of the present age reconcile and
harmonize the conscious and unconscious within
himself? Goethe realized that the key to war, reigns of
terror and dictatorships is a sequence of events that
has been repeated in many countries right up to the
present time. Goethe realized that the key to
understanding of these upheavals had to be found in
human nature itself. Conflict arises because the
demands made by the conscious and unconscious
minds seem to be irreconcilable.
Every man is a civil war. If we dont deal with
the war within, then we will have to go to war; with
guns, tanks, planes and bombs.

- Picasso

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 Goethe himself was a personality in whom two
sides were all his life locked in furious battle and he
was very much aware of it. Thus it enabled him to
write the fairy tale The Green Snake and the White
Lily which suggests a harmony between the
conscious and the unconscious is possible. But it
cannot be brought about easily or cheaply.
The sharp division between the conscious and
unconscious minds is characteristic of our Time.
Picasso captured that split in many of his paintings.

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 In the middle ages, there was an instinctive
blending of both, not a conflict. Men were
instinctively aware of their connection with the
Spiritual world and of their place in the social
structure of this world. This came to an end in the 14th
and 15th centuries with a new scientific thinking of
men like Copernicus, Kepler Galileo, and Columbus.
Their materialistic view of natural sciences as they
have developed since the 15th Century is an illusion
equal to a light of error.
This is not a Fairy Tale of once upon a time, but
of our own Time. The 14th Century felt like the
coming of the Intellect as a loss and the Pieta by
Michelangelo of the Mother of Jesus holding her dead
son expressed this loss, the time of the dead intellect
but it created an inner experience of freedom leading
to Revolutions and an awakening, and with it the
awakening also of the unconscious.

- Michael-Angelo

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 Chapter 6
Alice in Wonderland
Alice falls down a hole while chasing a rabbit. It
represents her going down into her unconscious mind
and encountering all kinds of animal characters, who
are mirrors for some aspects of herself; and when she
integrates all these different characters within herself,
she becomes strong enough to confront her dragon
and overcome him. This seems to be the basic story.

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 When she meets a caterpillar, he asks her Who
are you? Alice replies I hardly know Sir, although
my size has changed several times since I woke up.
The Caterpillar says Explain yourself Alice says I
cant explain myself because Im not myself, you see.
I dont see said the caterpillar. Im afraid I cant
put it more clearly, for I cant understand it myself
and being so many different sizes in a day is very
confusing.
You said the caterpillar contemptuously Who are
you and Alice cant answer that because she is all the
different characters that she meets and shes confused
because her size keeps changing.

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 Then the caterpillar tells her that if she takes one
side of the mushroom, it will make her grow taller and
the other side will make her grow shorter. Will the left
side of the brain make her shorter? And the right side
of the brain taller? After experimenting with the
mushroom, first she becomes very short, then she
grows very tall with a long neck, like a Serpent.

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 She then encounters a screaming pigeon who
calls her a serpent and says serpents are always
stealing my eggs. But Im not a serpent , Im a little
girl says Alice, rather doubtfully as she remembered
the number of changes she had gone through that day.
The pigeon says NO! NO! Youre a serpent and there
is no use denying it.
Alice says I have tasted eggs but little girls eat
eggs quite as much as serpents do, you know. I dont
believe it, said the little pigeon, but if they do why
then theyre a kind of serpent, thats all I can say.

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 Finally, after integrating all the different
characters, she is now strong enough to confront her
dragon. Carl Jung would call it her shadow and
Rudolf Steiner would call it The Double.
After a huge battle, she finally overcomes her
dragon and all the other characters in the story are
liberated as well.

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 Its no wonder Alice didnt know who she was.
We dont really know who we are until we become
aware that all the characters in our life are mirrors for
some aspect of our self. Like Alice, we need to
confront them and integrate them and then confront
our Dragon (Shadow or double) and its all taking
place in our unconscious mind. And when we do this
work, we become free and whole and we become
united with our higher self. And if we dont do the
work, then we meet ourselves on the other side in the
spiritual world as did Alice in Alice and Wonderland.

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 Whats inside of us is what we have to look at in
the Spirit world when we cross the threshold. And all
the animal characters represent some aspect of Alices
personality. They really represent people and
personalities that mirror the people and personalities
within Alice. Shakespeare said, If you look into the
world, you will see yourself, and if you look into
yourself, you will see the world.

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 Chapter 7
St. Teresa of Avila
St. Teresa of Avila was a Carmelite nun who
lived in Spain in the 16th Century. She was talented,
beautiful and saintly and because she was so
impulsive, so open, so human, that through the ages
people have felt able to respond to her.
She openly admitted that when it comes to doing
anything wrong, I was very clever and when I desire
anything, I do so impetuously and she says the Devil
sends so offensive a spirit of bad temper that I think I
could eat people up. Most profoundly of all, she was
caught in a painful war of opposites.

While this tension is part of the human

condition, in her the contradiction was very big. She
did not merely incline this way and that, but was
pulled passionately in opposite directions.

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 At sixteen, she stayed in the convent for 18
months, battling with the opposing voices within her.
She was frankly hostile to the thought of becoming a
nun, yet she admired and envied the nuns around her,
praying. She was tossed between the world and God,
between fear of marriage and uncertainty about
religious life.
She could not decide and this inner conflict made her
ill and it was a serious illness admitting her
motivation was servile fear rather than love.

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 She decided to force herself to become a nun.
She was given courage by St. Jerome, a 4th Century
monk who suffered from ill health and endured strong
temptations of the flesh. She was embarking on an
interior struggle both dangerous and exciting. She was
armed with prayer and an overwhelming desire to
reach heaven.
She had no support from the father that she loved so
much, but she felt the salvation of her soul was at
stake.
She had given up the world, but she had not found the
inner compensation for which she longed.

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 The interest lies in why her guilt was so
profound, so pervasive, and so hard to ally. She
writes as if she was guilty the core of her being.
Throughout her life, illness was to be Theresas
constant companion; heart disease, epilepsy, sore
throats, headaches, T.B. malaria, and consumption.
The mental and physical are inexplicably mixed.
Teresa was, for the most part, able to appear calm, but
lived in Torment.
She was becoming increasingly aware of the
contradictory tensions in her own nature. In her, to a
rare extent, the opposites met, fought out their various
claims, and were eventually reconciled.

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 She had to contend with the problems of being a
woman with strong masculine characteristics. This
was another challenging polarity for her times. She
allowed her masculine and feminine characteristics to
mingle and complement each other. She eventually
defied the conventions of her time. She epitomized the
conflicts that tear many apart.
She was torn between God and the world. It
seemed as if I wanted to reconcile these two
contradictory things so completely opposite to one
another; the life of the Spirit and the pleasures and
joys and pastimes of the senses.

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 This battle between her idealism and the aridity
common to ordinary men and women created such
tension that she was barely able to pray at all. She
compares aridity in prayer and distracting thoughts to
flighty moths and having a madman in the house. She
battled and fought against her problems in prayer as
fiercely as any soldier fights his enemy.

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 In 1555, the turning point came; her exhaustion
contributed to her receptivity. She claimed not to be
able to reason with her mind or to be able to make
pictures in her imagination as an aid, she just liked to
look at a field, or water or flowers to remind her of the
Creator. She was no longer in control. God is now the
gardener and the supply of water is infinite.
Action and contemplation are in perfect
harmony. Worldly distractions are at last irrelevant.
There is a deep need to give voice to joy, just as
flowers begin to open and send out their fragrance.
She experiences Union. Union is two things becoming
one. In this experience, the soul has met God.

- Woman balancing scales, by Vermeer

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 But struggles and darkness were to accompany
her for many years more. But she had resolved the
tensions between human and divine relationships and
she could now converse with angels and not with men.
Any idea that mystical graces lead to an easy
life are soon dispelled by her account of her
experiences. God and the soul understand each other.
Her spiritual experiences increased her humility and
love. Ecstasy is no proof of sanctity. Then one day at
mass, she saw the figure of Christ whole.

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For god within is just as real as god without.
- Painting by Anna Gruda

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 She believed in the need to excavate our false
gods who she called reptiles, to transform our fears
and illusions. We need to practice relentless self-
inquiry and examine the falsehoods of the Ego. She
fearlessly dove into the dungeons of her Soul,
transforming those reptiles that are cleverly self-
deceptive.
Teresa believed that we cannot break
attachments with force, but they fall away with little
effort when the inner hunger disappears. She knew
that reason and intellect could impede the mystical
experience.
She embraced a Christ consciousness of
unconditional love, impersonal love for humanity,
forgiveness, compassion, and non-judgment.
Understanding that a single loving thought can affect
all of existence. She also knew that at times we cannot
avoid lifes chaos or the Suffering which can stem
from not listening to Divine guidance.

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 Chapter 8
Labyrinths and Mazes
In 400 BC the labyrinth had penetrated mans
mind. Plato draws a circular labyrinth resembling the
Cretan model and says, It is a single unwavering
universal path that all souls must successfully cross.
Daedalus says about mazes only the way in is
the way out. Michael Ayrton, who claims he was
Daedalus, says, I have lived among the wandering
ways as Virgil called them, deep in the 2nd millennium
BC no less deep in the 20th Century because in a maze
time ceases and one time lives in another time.

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 He sees the Minotaur as the record of wicked
love, a hybrid procreation of two shapes in one when
we played with our DNA and mixed it with animals
on Atlantis. A total maze each man makes about
himself and each is different from every other, for
each contains the length, breadth, height, and depth of
his own life. Maze is very primal; you dont need an
extensive vocabulary and facts:
a) All you need is instinctive decision making
skills
b) Patience
You are born with all the intellect you need to
successfully navigate there. The gifts are many, as one
embraces the labyrinth journey, with heartfelt
intentions and purest of thoughts.
One will be rewarded with insight, ancient
knowledge and wisdom, cellular healing, and the
rebuilding of ones creation blocks, stored within his
or her blueprint, which is the signature of the soul.

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 A maze is a dance of polarities. A maze must be
risked to experience profound growth and
transformation.
Rudolph Steiner says, The most insignificant
experience stands in connection with cosmic beings
and cosmic events. No one knows that his labour and
suffering are given and endured for the sake of a great
spiritual cosmic whole, and knowing this, with firm
step, the student passes through life no matter what it
may bring him. He goes forward erect.

There cant be self restraint in the absence of desire;

when there is no adversary, what avails thy courage?
Hark, do not castrate thyself, do not become a monk:
chastity depends on the existence of lust. - Rumi

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 The labyrinth will ask one to open the locked door
from the inside. The issues of trust surfacing, and
remembering will assault the seekers when
venturing deep into unfamiliar terrain. Reassurance
and balance is what the labyrinth symbol will instill
into on. The essence of the maze is a blending of
opposites. In the West there are mazes. In the East
there are mandalas which are the integration of all
opposites into a single whole.

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- In the west there are Labyrinths.

- In the East there are madalas; the integration of

all opposites into a single whole.

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111
 The door to a better life can only be unlocked
from the inside. In many fairy tales a Prince battles his
way through the labyrinthine corridors of a castle or
similarly tortuous woods in order to reach his princess
(his anima) joining the male and female psyche.
The path of the labyrinth is a non linear path.
You have to forget what you know and remember
what you forgot. The pathway of the labyrinth aligns
with the Mother Goddess Energy reaching its apex
with the still point in the center of creation of Divine
Source and sacred unity of Wholeness.

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As Human Beings our
greatness lays not so
much in being able to Each person is a unique
remake the world, as in work of art.
being able to remake
ourselves.
- Ghandi
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 Epilogue
There is a major effort to cut people off
from natural remedies and organic produce. They
are forcing us to go from the physical into the
etheric; which is the spiritual. We need our spirit
to show us the best path to follow.
Rudolf Steiner said, Its very important
to meditate, because people will go mad if they
dont because they wont be able to handle the
energies that are coming onto the earth at this
time.

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 Jean Houston said, Dont let your story
get stuck at wounding, betrayal and abandonment,
but that it may become transparent to its own
transcendence. There is a larger story happening
on the earth, and its happening simultaneously
within you.
Earth is growing her nervous system
through you. So you are either the neurons or
the cancer of the planet. Earths story is rich and
beautiful, with different cultures and stories.

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 We persevered and grew and came together
to create a unique tapestry and to create a new
myth of the earth through her multiple stories. A
very great story is trying to come into time and
we can now access the full range of the human
potential. And there is the emergence of the
harvest of your own psyche and a mapping of
your own unconscious, your own potential and
your own spirit.

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 Acknowledgements:
This book was the fruit of the coming
together of many peoples energies; past and
present, and I would like to thank Tony
Marqures, for his help and brilliant insights,
Marianne Else for her great spirit and technical
know-how, Karl Backhaus for his creative ideas
and Daniel Carman for all of the above.

Email me comments or questions at:

mail.christina.love@gmail.com

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