THE HEIGHTS PAGE 1

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA | SEPTEMBER14 2017

Nicolas Cage appears on NBCs

Dateline! Page 2

The Little Rascals take off with two of Dominic Torettos

prized vehicles! Page 4

Tupac Shakur, one of the most legendary

hip-hop and rap artists of all time is
alive!! Page 3

The infamous clown known for terrorizing neighborhoods

has now been spotted at the local paper company, Dunder Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift have a
Mifflin. Page 4 three-year-old love child! Page 3

TO OBTAIN A NEW BACKPACK AND

FIDGET SPINNER LISTEN TO
 THE HEIGHTS PAGE 2

Nicolas Cage appears on NBCs WIFE SWAP

Dateline! Rachel Green from F.R.I.E.N.D.S VS
By: Jasmine Arvelo Lois from Malcolm in The Middle
By Daisy Sarmiento
Famous actor Nicolas
Cage, who youd Following Rachel's recent marriage to Ross Geller in
expect to be in a five- Las Vegas, they have decided to participate in the
star blockbuster film new season on Wife Swap. They will be up against
nominated for several Hal and Lois from Star City, California. These
Grammy awards shockingly Appeared on NBCs two fierce women will have to switch family,
Dateline! A show on NBC infamously known to friends, and lifestyles for an intense two weeks. Will
capture potential child predators who then face to Lois be able to put up with Ross' science jokes and
face with Dateline NBCs Notorious host Chris Chandler's sarcasm? Will Rachel ever find the
Hansen. Why was Nicolas in the show? He was strength to manage four extreme trouble-making
chatting with a sixteen-year-old decoy on a global boys and their dysfunctional home? Which of these
chat line who was working with the Perverted justice women will reach her breaking point and crack under
program. Cage spoke of unspeakable acts during the the pressure first? Grab your popcorn and find out
discussion in the chat line. He used phrases such as this Friday on the season premiere of Wife Swap!
I will cage you up. and Ill put you in a kennel
you are a naughty dog. Nicolas then drove six and
a half hours thinking hed meet with a seventeen-
year-old girl and have sexual relations with her. The Spell of Emma Watson
Betty White Wins the Hot Dog By Daniella Suarez
Contest!
It has been reported
By: Lana Perez that actress Emma
Watson has a spell
Betty White is now that makes her look
the world record younger! The English
holder for eating the actress is 50 years old
most hot dogs in but appears to be half
under 10 Minutes! her age. How does
Betty White has she do it? Well, its
dominated previous said the actress has a
Record holder Joey similar case as Benjamin
Button where life ages in It sure wasnt a coincidence that
Chestnut's, which Emma Watson was in Harry
consumed a total of reverse. It explains why Potter.
72 hot doges in ten in Harry Potter her
minutes. This character of Hermione Granger has a lot to do with
afternoon, she set the bar pretty high with her record this anomaly. Her fictional role as a wizard with
being 85 hotdogs in almost 10 minutes! Good luck to magic spells turned out to be the real deal. Emma
anyone trying to break her record! hasnt talked much of the issue so it is still a mystery,
but Dear Emma, can we have some of that spell?
 THE HEIGHTS PAGE 3

Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift have a three-year-old love child

By: Taylor Gill
E news has just discovered that pop singer Taylor Swift and icon
Justin Bieber have a three-year- old daughter. The two have been
keeping the young girl in hiding this whole time, and her name is
Justina Bieber. Shocking that he would name his daughter after
himself. She was taken care of at a house that the two shared in
Finland. Who would have thought? They have a nanny who
finally came forward because she asked to be paid more and both
celebrities told her no. She told E News, "I am sick of raising this child
for these two while they get to go out and travel the world. They should
be taking us along with them!" Justina and I are allowed only 30
minutes of time in the backyard everyday. We are always to remain in
the house." For safety purposes we have kept her anonymous. Father,
Justin Bieber told reporters that he Justina : 1st daughter of Justin has no comment on the subject at this
time. Meanwhile Taylor Swift is Bieber and Taylor Swift dating three guys, and pretending as if
nothing has happened. When asked about the topic she replies, "the
old Taylor, oh she's dead!" We believe she is quoting her new single, " Look what you made me do." She has
completely lost it.

Tupac Shakur is Alive!

By: Amanda Cardenas
 THE HEIGHTS PAGE 4
Tupac Shakur has been found alive and living right here in Las Vegas! He now goes
COMPUTER by the name of Christopher Banks, and currently works a regular shift at Caesars
SCHOOL ALE ACE Palace. For many years, he has been told he looks just like Tupac but never thought
INVITES YOU TO anything of it. Christopher was involved in a really bad car accident in 1996 when
STUDY COMPUTER he lost all his memory. After being in a coma for about a year, he woke up and
FEATURES FOR FREE! started a new life as Christopher Banks. Tupacs mother, Afeni, got news of this
young man living in Las Vegas
Introduction to and she had a feeling this man
computers could be her son. So, she decided
Windows to take a trip from California
Word to get some answers. After
Excel meeting with Christopher
Internet they decided to go for DNA
Tupac, aka Christopher Banks, was spotted
Between the hours of casually playing a game of poker at the
1PM to 3PM Cosmopolitan Casino.
testing, but Afeni felt that Mr. Banks was her
2HOURS DAILY FROM
son and didnt need a test to prove it. After waiting the 48 hours, they finally found
MONDAY-FRIDAY
out it was Tupac!
Address: 21210
Charleston Ave Las
Vegas, Nevada 89134

IT NOT ONLY MAKES AN APPEARANCE IN BOX

OFFICES, BUT ALSO IN THE OFFICE
by: Russell Andrew Bennett

The infamous clown known for terrorizing neighborhoods has now been
spotted at a local paper company, Dunder Mifflin. Since the arrest of the
Scranton Strangler, locals of this charming town in Pennsylvania have
once again been able to sleep at night. That is, until rumors of this
murderous clown surfaced. Manager of Dunder Mifflin, Michael Scott
first reported seeing a strange man in clown makeup outside his window
holding a single red balloon. After the recent success of the Stephen
King remake movie, it was suspected that this clown may be a copycat
or radical fan of the film. The mystery man was said to resemble the
original Tim Curry clown of the 1990 televised series. It was terrifying,
really. I mean, as a movie buff and fellow film maker I have already
seen the new film 27 times in theaters. It was so good I couldnt help myself...thats what she said. So I, in fact,
thought I might be hallucinating when I saw the IT clown outside my window. However, after further
inspection, I determined the clown to be real and out for blood, reports Mr. Scott. Assistant to the Regional
Manager, Dwight Schrute, fervently backed up his bosses claim. If Michael saw It, then It must be real. After
further investigation, we got the true story. We found some old face paint from last years Halloween party.
confesses Dunder Mifflin saleswoman, Pam Halpert. It wasnt going to be too hard to scare Michael and
being that he just started reading the book, we knew it would freak him out. Her husband, Jim Halpert, was
reportedly in on the prank. In conclusion, there is no need to fear town of Scranton. Sleep at peace once more.
Or...youll float too
 THE HEIGHTS PAGE 5
The Little Rascals take off with two of Dominic Torettos prized vehicles!

By: Alejandra Corona

Love was the inspiration of this act and led to a messy
complication. Ever since Donna moved away from town
with her parents, Alfalfa had been scheming to find a way
to get to her as fast as possible. With the help of his friends
from the club house, they planned on borrowing
Dominic Torettos high speed vehicles. What better way to
show up to Donna then with a powerful v-8 engine
masterpiece? The day the mission initiated, little did they
know Butch, Woim, and Waldo had been eavesdropping on The Little Rascals racing to Donna.
their plan and followed them. Initially, the mission was to only
take one vehicle, but when the unexpected guests appeared it ended up being a total of two cars. Butch and
Woim explained that they followed Alfalfa and his friends because it was the perfect opportunity for a rematch
race since the last go-kart race. However, Waldo was solely interested in racing Alfalfa because if Waldo arrived
to Donna before Alfalfa, he would get a chance to win Donnas heart back again. Fortunately, Alfalfa arrived to
Donna first with the help of his teammates and Alfalfa got to spend a wonderful day with Donna. Dominic
Torettos vehicles were returned, and it is still being discussed on how their actions will be prosecuted with the
law.