Alice in Wonderland

A mostly unstaged reading of Alice's

most memorable adventures
In the company of
the Caterpillar and the Cheshire Cat
and the Mad Hatter and the Red Queen
and a whole pack of other curious characters
Replete with poems and songs
and puns and logical puzzlers
In celebration of Robert Silvey's 70th birthday
And everyone else's un-birthday
August 7, 2010
Characters

Narrator White Queen

Alice Humpty Dumpty
White Rabbit Red Queen
Caterpillar Two
Young Man Five
Father William Seven
Cheshire Cat Red King
Mad Hatter Executioner
March Hare Gryphon
Dora the Mouse Mock Turtle
Tweedledum Alice's sister
Tweedledee
1. Down the Rabbit-Hole

NARRATOR
Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her
sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or
twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading,
but it had no pictures or conversations in it.
ALICE
And what is the use of a book, without pictures or
conversation?
NARRATOR
So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she
could, for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and
stupid), whether the pleasure of making a daisy-chain
would be worth the trouble of getting up and picking the
page 1
daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran
close by her.
There was nothing so very remarkable in that; nor did
Alice think it so very much out of the way to hear the
Rabbit say to itself:
WHITE RABBIT
Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!
NARRATOR
When Alice thought it over afterwards, it occurred to her
that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time it
all seemed quite natural; but when the Rabbit actually took
a watch out of its waistcoat-pocket, and looked at it, and then
hurried on, Alice started to her feet, for it fashed across
her mind that she had never before seen a rabbit with
either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and
burning with curiosity, she ran across the feld after it, and
fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large
rabbit-hole under the hedge.
In another moment down went Alice after it, never once
considering how in the world she was to get out again.
The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some
way, and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that
Alice had not a moment to think about stopping herself
before she found herself falling down a very deep well.
ALICE
Well! After such a fall as this, I shall think nothing of
tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll all think me at
home!

page 2
 NARRATOR
Down, down, down. Would the fall never come to an end?
ALICE
I wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time? I must
be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let me
see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think—
I wonder if I shall fall right through the earth! How funny
it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with
their heads downward! The Antipathies, I think—
NARRATOR
Down, down, down. When suddenly, thump! Thump!
Down she came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and
the fall was over.
Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet
in a moment: she looked up, and the White Rabbit was still
in sight, saying:
WHITE RABBIT
Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it's getting!
NARRATOR
She was close behind it when she turned the corner, but
the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: and she found herself
in a long, low hall.
There were doors all round the hall, but they were all
locked; and she wondered how she was ever to get out
again.
Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table; there
was nothing on it except a tiny golden key, and Alice's frst
page 3
thought was that it might belong to one of the doors of the
hall; but, alas! Either the locks were too large, or the key
was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of
them.
However, on the second time round, she came upon a low
curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a
little door about ffteen inches high: she tried the little
golden key in the lock, and to her great delight it ftted!
Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small
passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down
and looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you
ever saw. How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and
wander about among those beds of bright fowers and
those cool fountains, but she could not even get her head
through the doorway.
ALICE
And even if my head would go through, it would be of
very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I
could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only
know how to begin.
NARRATOR
For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened
lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few things
indeed were really impossible.
ALICE
I am beginning to think that very few things indeed are
really impossible.

page 4
2. Drink Me

NARRATOR
There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so
she went back to the table, half hoping she might fnd
another key on it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting
people up like telescopes: this time she found a little bottle
on it, and round the neck of the bottle was a paper label,
with the words 'DRINK ME' beautifully printed on it in
large letters.
It was all very well to say 'Drink me', but the wise little
Alice was not going to do that in a hurry.
ALICE
No, I'll look frst, and see whether it's marked 'poison' or
not.

page 5
 NARRATOR
For she had read that, if you drink much from a bottle
marked 'poison', it is almost certain to disagree with you,
sooner or later.
However, this bottle was not marked 'poison', so Alice
ventured to taste it, and fnding it very nice, (it had, in fact,
a sort of mixed favour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple,
roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon
fnished it off.
ALICE
What a curious feeling! I must be shutting up like a
telescope!
NARRATOR
And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high,
and her face brightened up at the thought that she was
now the right size for going through the little door into
that lovely garden. First, however, she waited for a few
minutes to see if she was going to shrink any further: she
felt a little nervous about this.
ALICE
For it might end, you know, in my going out altogether,
like a candle.
NARRATOR
After a while, fnding that nothing more happened, she
decided on going into the garden at once; but, alas for
poor Alice! When she got to the door, she found she had
forgotten the little golden key, and when she went back to

page 6
the table for it, she found she could not possibly reach it:
she tried her best to climb up one of the legs of the table,
but it was too slippery; and when she had tired herself out
with trying, the poor little thing sat down and cried.
ALICE
[to herself] Come, there's no use in crying like that!
I advise you to leave off this minute!
NARRATOR
She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she
very seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded
herself so severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once
she remembered trying to box her own ears for having
cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing
against herself, for this curious child was very fond of
pretending to be two people.
ALICE
But it's no use now, to pretend to be two people! Why,
there's hardly enough of me left to make one respectable
person!
NARRATOR
Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under
the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake,
on which the words 'EAT ME' were beautifully marked in
currants.

page 7
 ALICE
Well, I'll eat it, and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach
the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep under
the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I don't
care which happens!
NARRATOR
She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself:
ALICE
Which way? Which way?
NARRATOR
. . . holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which
way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to fnd
that she remained the same size: to be sure, this generally
happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much
into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way
things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for
life to go on in the common way.
So she set to work, and very soon fnished off the cake.

page 8
3. The Pool of Tears

ALICE
Curiouser and curiouser! Now I'm opening out like the
largest telescope that ever was! Good-bye, feet!
NARRATOR
Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in fact
she was now more than nine feet high, and she at once
took up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden
door.
Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on
one side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but
to get through was more hopeless than ever: she sat down
and began to cry again.

page 9
 ALICE
[to herself] You ought to be ashamed of yourself, a great
girl like you, to go on crying in this way! Stop this
moment, I tell you!
NARRATOR
But she went on all the same, shedding gallons of tears,
until there was a large pool all round her, about four
inches deep and reaching half down the hall.
After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the
distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was
coming. It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly
dressed, with a pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a
large fan in the other: he came trotting along in a great
hurry, muttering to himself as he came:
WHITE RABBIT
Oh! The Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! Won't she be savage if
I've kept her waiting!
NARRATOR
The Rabbit saw Alice, started violently, dropped the white
kid gloves and the fan, and scurried away into the
darkness as hard as he could go.
Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very
hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on
talking:
ALICE
Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And
yesterday things went on just as usual.

page 10
I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think:
was I the same when I got up this morning?
I almost think I can remember feeling a little different.
NARRATOR
As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was
surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's
little white kid gloves while she was talking.
ALICE
How can I have done that? I must be growing small again.
NARRATOR
She got up and went to the table to measure herself by it,
and found that, as nearly as she could guess, she was now
about two feet high, and was going on shrinking rapidly:
she soon found out that the cause of this was the fan she
was holding, and she dropped it hastily, just in time to
avoid shrinking away altogether.
ALICE
That was a narrow escape!
NARRATOR
. . . said Alice, a good deal frightened at the sudden
change, but very glad to fnd herself still in existence!
ALICE
And things are worse than ever, for I never was so small as
this before, never! And I declare it's too bad, that it is!

page 11
 NARRATOR
As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another
moment, splash! She was up to her chin in salt water. Her
frst idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea.
However, she soon made out that she was in the pool of
tears which she had wept when she was nine feet high.
ALICE
I wish I hadn't cried so much!
NARRATOR
. . . said Alice, as she swam about, trying to fnd her way
out.
ALICE
I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by being
drowned in my own tears! That will be a queer thing, to be
sure! However, everything is queer to-day.
NARRATOR
It was queer, for as she swam about in her own tears, the
pool began to get quite crowded as many animals and
birds began to fall into it: frst a Mouse, then a Duck and a
Dodo, then a Lory and an Eaglet, and fnally several other
curious creatures.
But brave Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to
the shore.

page 12
4. Advice from a Caterpillar

NARRATOR
Once on shore, and after conversing with these strange
creatures, Alice found herself still tiny, about the same size
as a mushroom she bumped into. She peeped over the
edge of the mushroom, and discovered a large blue
caterpillar seated there with its arms folded, quietly
smoking a long hookah.
CATERPILLAR
Whoooo are yooooou?
ALICE
I—I hardly know, sir, just at present—at least I know who I
was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have
page 13
been changed several times since then.
CATERPILLAR
What dooooo you mean by that? Explain yourself!
ALICE
I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, sir, because I'm not
myself, you see.
CATERPILLAR
I don't see.
ALICE
I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly, for I can't understand
it myself to begin with; and being so many different sizes
in a day is very confusing.
CATERPILLAR
It isn't.
ALICE
Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet, but when you
have to turn into a chrysalis—you will some day, you
know—and then after that into a butterfy, I should think
you'll feel it a little queer, won't you?
CATERPILLAR
Not a bit.
ALICE
Well, perhaps your feelings may be different, all I know is,
it would feel very queer to me.

page 14
 CATERPILLAR
You! Whooooo are yooooou?
ALICE
I think you ought to tell me who yooooou are, frst.
CATERPILLAR
Why?
[Alice turns, starts to walk away.]
CATERPILLAR
Come back! I've something important to say!
[Alice turns toward him.]
CATERPILLAR
[somberly] Keep your temper.
ALICE
[angry] Is that all?
CATERPILLAR
No.
[Alice waits. Caterpillar puffs away without speaking.]
CATERPILLAR
[fnally] So you think you're changed, do you?
ALICE
I'm afraid I am, sir. I don't keep the same size for ten
minutes together!

page 15
 CATERPILLAR
What size do you want to be?
ALICE
Oh, I'm not particular as to size, only one doesn't like
changing so often, you know.
CATERPILLAR
I don't know! [Begins smoking again.]
Are you content now?
ALICE
Well, I should like to be a little larger, sir, if you wouldn't
mind; three inches is such a wretched height to be.
CATERPILLAR
[rearing itself upright] It is a very good height indeed!
ALICE
But I'm not used to it!
[in a lower voice] I wish the creatures here wouldn't be so
easily offended!
[sighs] And I can't remember things as I used to. . . .
CATERPILLAR
Can't remember WHAT things?
ALICE
Well, I've tried to say 'How Doth the Little Busy Bee',
but it all came different!

page 16
 CATERPILLAR
Repeat it this way: 'You are old, Father William'.
ALICE
I'll try. . . . I think it goes like this:
'You are old, Father William,' the young man said . . .
[Young Man and Father William
appear on upper deck]
YOUNG MAN
'You are old, Father William,' the young man said,
'And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head—
Do you think, at your age, it is right?'
FATHER WILLIAM
'In my youth,' Father William replied to his son,
'I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again.'
YOUNG MAN
'You are old,' said the youth, 'as I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door—
Pray, what is the reason of that?'
FATHER WILLIAM
'In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
'I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment—one shilling the box—
Allow me to sell you a couple?'
page 17
 YOUNG MAN
'You are old,' said the youth, 'and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you fnished the goose, with the bones and the beak—
Pray how did you manage to do it?'
FATHER WILLIAM
'In my youth,' said his father, 'I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life.'

YOUNG MAN
'You are old,' said the youth, 'one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose—
What made you so awfully clever?'

page 18
 FATHER WILLIAM
'I have answered three questions, now that is enough,'
Said his father; 'don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!'
[EXIT, Young Man and Father William]
ALICE
'. . . Be off, or I’ll kick you down stairs!'
CATERPILLAR
That is not said right.
ALICE
Not quite right, I'm afraid; some of the words have got
altered.
CATERPILLAR
It is wrong from beginning to end.
[yawns, gets down from the mushroom, and crawls away]
[shouts back] One side will make you grow taller, and the
other side will make you grow shorter.
ALICE
One side of what? The other side of what?
CATERPILLAR
Of the mushroom . . .

page 19
 ALICE
[breaks off a bit of each side] And now which is which?
[Takes a bite of one side—looks up and puts her hand on
top of her head] Oops! Too much!
[Then takes a bite from the other piece] Ah, that's better—
just right!

page 20
5. The Cheshire Cat

[Cheshire Cat pops up in front

of Alice from tree.]
CHESHIRE CAT
Hello!
ALICE
Oh! A grinning cat!
CHESHIRE CAT
Cheshire Cats always grin.
ALICE
Really? Cheshire-Puss, would you tell me, please, which
way I ought to go from here?

page 21
 CHESHIRE CAT
That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
ALICE
I don't much care where—
CHESHIRE CAT
Then it doesn't matter which way you go.
ALICE
—so long as I get somewhere.
CHESHIRE CAT
Oh, you're sure to do that, if you only walk long enough.
ALICE
Well, Cheshire-Puss, could you please tell me what sort of
people live around here?
CHESHIRE CAT
In one direction lives the Hatter; in the other lives a March
Hare—both mad!
ALICE
But I don't want to go among mad people!
CHESHIRE CAT
Oh, you can't help that! We're all mad here.
I'm mad. You're mad.
ALICE
How do you know I'm mad?

page 22
 CHESHIRE CAT
You must be, or you wouldn't have come here.
ALICE
And how do you know that you're mad?
CHESHIRE CAT
To begin with, a dog's not mad. You grant that?
ALICE
I suppose so.
CHESHIRE CAT
Well, then, you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and
wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm
pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm
mad.
ALICE
I call it purring, not growling.
CHESHIRE CAT
Call it what you like.
By the bye, do you play croquet with the Queen today?
ALICE
I should like it very much, but I haven't been invited yet.
CHESHIRE CAT
You'll see me there.
[vanishes]

page 23
 ALICE
[Still looking up] Well, as he's gone off, I guess I'll try the
way toward the March Hare's. It's August now, so perhaps
he won't be raving mad.
[Cat's grin appears]
Oh! I've often seen a cat without a grin, but a grin without
a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!

page 24
6. A Mad Tea Party

[A large table where the March Hare

and the Mad Hatter are having tea, with
Dora the Mouse sitting between them,
fast asleep.
Alice approaches the table.]
MARCH HARE and MAD HATTER
No room! No room!
ALICE
There's plenty of room!
[Sits down at end of table]
MARCH HARE
Have some wine.

page 25
 ALICE
I don't see any wine.
MARCH HARE
There isn't any.
ALICE
Then it wasn't very polite of you to offer it.
MAD HATTER
It wasn't very polite of you to sit down without being
invited.
ALICE
I didn't know it was your table.
It's laid for a great many more than three.
MAD HATTER
Dora the Mouse is asleep again.
[He pours a little hot tea upon her nose.]
DORA THE MOUSE
[without opening her eyes]
Twinkle, twinkle.
[goes back to sleep]
MAD HATTER
[Taking his watch out of his pocket, he looks at it uneasily,
shaking it every now and then, and holds it to his ear.]
What day of the month is it?

page 26
 ALICE
The fourth.
MAD HATTER
[shakes watch] Two days wrong!
[to March Hare] I told you butter wouldn't fx the watch!
MARCH HARE
It was the best butter!
MAD HATTER
Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well.
[dips the watch into his cup of tea]
MARCH HARE
It was the best butter, you know.
ALICE
How do you manage to tell time?
MAD HATTER
Ah, I can't tell Time anything.
We quarreled—it was at the great concert given by the
Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing:
Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!
You know the song, perhaps?
ALICE
I've heard something like it.

page 27
 MAD HATTER
Let's all sing it together:
ALL [singing]
Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fy,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!
DORA THE MOUSE
[singing] Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle—
MAD HATTER
[Looking at his watch again]
It's always six o'clock now.
ALICE
Is that the reason so many tea-things are put out here?
MAD HATTER
Yes, that's it. It's always tea-time, and we've no time to
wash the things between whiles.
ALICE
Then you keep moving round, I suppose?
MAD HATTER
Exactly so, as the things get used up.
I want a clean cup now. Let's all move one place on.

page 28
 [They move once as he speaks,
changing places.
Then they move again.]
MARCH HARE
Do you want some tea?
ALICE
Really, now you ask me, I don't think. . . .
MAD HATTER
If you don't think, then you shouldn't talk.
[They move on,
changing places again]
ALICE
[fnally tired of changing places]
Oh, really!
[She gets up and starts to walk off]
ALL (except Alice)
[singing] Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--
ALICE
[leaving] I'll never go there again! It's the stupidest tea-
party I ever was at in all my life!

page 29
7. Tweedledum and Tweedledee

[Along the path Alice discovers the house of

Tweedledum and Tweedledee, with the two standing
in front, their arms around each other's necks.]
ALICE
Could you tell me which way out of this wood?
[Tweedledum and Tweedledee
look at each other and grin.]
TWEEDLEDUM
You've begun wrong. The frst thing in a visit is to say
'How d'ye do?' and shake hands!
[And here the two brothers give each other
a hug, and then they hold out the two hands
that are free, to shake hands with her.

page 30
 She takes hold of both hands at once:
the next moment they are dancing round in a ring. ]
ALICE
I hope you're not much tired?
TWEEDLEDUM
Nohow. And thank you very much for asking.
TWEEDLEDEE
So much obliged! You like poetry?
[They stop dancing.]
ALICE
Ye-es, pretty well—some poetry. But would you tell me
which road leads out of the wood?
TWEEDLEDEE
[ignoring her question] What shall I recite to her?
TWEEDLEDUM
'The Walrus and the Carpenter' is the longest. . . .
TWEEDLEDEE
[begins reciting] The sun was shining—
ALICE
If it's very long,would you please tell me frst which road—
TWEEDLEDEE
[smiling gently, he holds up his hand and begins again]
The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might:
page 31
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright—
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night.
TWEEDLEDUM
The moon was shining sulkily,
Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
After the day was done—
'It's very rude of him,' she said,
'To come and spoil the fun!'
TWEEDLEDEE
The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
No cloud was in the sky:
No birds were fying over head—
There were no birds to fy.
TWEEDLEDUM
The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:
'If this were only cleared away,'
They said, 'it would be grand!'
TWEEDLEDEE
'O Oysters, come and walk with us!'
The Walrus did beseech.
'A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
page 32
Along the briny beach:
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each.'
TWEEDLEDUM
And four young oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat—
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn't any feet.

TWEEDLEDEE
Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more--
All hopping through the frothy waves,
And scrambling to the shore.

page 33
 TWEEDLEDUM
'The time has come,' the Walrus said,
'To talk of many things:
Of shoes—and ships—and sealing-wax—
Of cabbages—and kings—
And why the sea is boiling hot—
And whether pigs have wings.'
TWEEDLEDEE
'But wait a bit,' the Oysters cried,
'Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!'
'No hurry!' said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that.
TWEEDLEDUM
'A loaf of bread,' the Walrus said,
'Is what we chiefy need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed—
Now if you're ready, Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed.'
TWEEDLEDEE
'But not on us!' the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue,
'After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!'
'The night is fne,' the Walrus said
'Do you admire the view?

page 34
 TWEEDLEDUM
'It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!'
The Carpenter said nothing but
'Cut us another slice:
I wish you were not quite so deaf—
I've had to ask you twice!'
TWEEDLEDEE
'It seems a shame,' the Walrus said,
'To play them such a trick,
After we've brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!'
The Carpenter said nothing but
'The butter's spread too thick!'
TWEEDLEDUM
'I weep for you,' the Walrus said.
'I deeply sympathize.'
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size.
Holding his pocket handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.
TWEEDLEDUM and TWEEDLEDEE
'O Oysters,' said the Carpenter.
'You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?'
But answer came there none—
And that was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one.

page 35
 ALICE
I like the Walrus best, because you see he was a little sorry
for the poor oysters.
TWEEDLEDEE
He ate more than the Carpenter, though. You see he held
his handkerchief in front, so that the Carpenter couldn't
count how many he took: contrariwise.
ALICE
That was mean! Then I like the Carpenter best—if he
didn't eat so many as the Walrus.
TWEEDLEDUM
But he ate as many as he could get.
ALICE
Well! They were both very unpleasant characters—
WHITE QUEEN
[offstage, roaring and moaning] Oh! Oh! Oooooooh!
ALICE
Oh, my! . . . Are there any lions or tigers about here?
TWEEDLEDEE
It's only the Red King snoring.
TWEEDLEDUM
[in a shrill voice of alarm] Or the White Queen moaning!
[Tweedledum and Tweedledee exit, running,
their arms around each other's necks.]

page 36
8. The White Queen

WHITE QUEEN
[still offstage, moaning in desperation] Oh! Oh! Oooooooh!
NARRATOR
Alice ran a little way into the wood, and stopped under a
large tree.
ALICE
Here's somebody's shawl being blown away!
NARRATOR
Alice caught the shawl as she spoke, and looked about for
the owner: in another moment, the White Queen came
running wildly through the wood, with both arms
page 37
stretched out wide, as if she were fying, and Alice very
civilly went to meet her with the shawl.
ALICE
I'm very glad I happened to be in the way.
[helps Queen put on her shawl]
WHITE QUEEN
I don't know what's the matter with this shawl!
It's out of temper, I think. I've pinned it here, and I've
pinned it there, but there's no pleasing it!
ALICE
It can't go straight, you know, if you pin it all on one side.
[gently puts it right for her]
And, dear me, what a state your hair is in!
WHITE QUEEN
The brush has got entangled in it!
And I lost the comb yesterday.
ALICE
[carefully releases the brush, straightens Queen's hair]
Come, you look rather better now!
But really you should have a lady's maid!
WHITE QUEEN
I'm sure I'll take you with pleasure!
Twopence a week, and jam every other day.
ALICE
[laughing] I don't want you to hire me—
and I don't care for jam.
page 38
 WHITE QUEEN
It's very good jam.
ALICE
Well, I don't want any to-day, at any rate.
WHITE QUEEN
You couldn't have it if you did want it. The rule is, jam to-
morrow and jam yesterday—but never jam to-day.
ALICE
It must come sometimes to 'jam to-day'.
WHITE QUEEN
No, it can't. It's jam every other day:
to-day isn't any other day, you know.
ALICE
I don't understand you. It's dreadfully confusing!
WHITE QUEEN
That's the effect of living backwards. It always makes one
a little giddy at frst—
ALICE
Living backwards! I never heard of such a thing!
WHITE QUEEN
—but there's one great advantage in it, that one's memory
works both ways.

page 39
 ALICE
I'm sure mine only works one way. I can't remember things
before they happen.
WHITE QUEEN
It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.
ALICE
What sort of things do you remember best?
WHITE QUEEN
Oh, things that happened the week after next. For instance,
now, there's the King's Messenger. He's in prison now,
being punished: and the trial doesn't even begin till next
Wednesday: and of course the crime comes last of all.
ALICE
Suppose he never commits the crime?
WHITE QUEEN
That would be all the better, wouldn't it?
ALICE
Of course it would be all the better, but it wouldn't be all
the better his being punished.
WHITE QUEEN
You're wrong there, at any rate.
Were you ever punished?
ALICE
Only for faults.

page 40
 WHITE QUEEN
And you were all the better for it, I know!
Let's consider your age to begin with—how old are you?
ALICE
I'm seven and a half exactly.
WHITE QUEEN
You needn't say 'exactually'. I can believe it without that.
Now I'll give you something to believe.
I'm just one hundred and one, fve months and a day.
ALICE
I can't believe that!
WHITE QUEEN
Can't you?
[in a pitying tone] Try again: draw a long breath, and shut
your eyes.
ALICE
[laughing] There's no use trying. One can't believe
impossible things.
WHITE QUEEN
I daresay you haven't had much practice. When I was your
age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes
I've believed as many as six impossible things before
breakfast.
Oh! There goes the shawl again!

page 41
 NARRATOR
The Queen's brooch had come undone as she spoke, and a
sudden gust of wind blew her shawl across a little brook.
She spread out her arms again, and went fying after it,
and this time she succeeded in catching it for herself.
WHITE QUEEN
[running offstage, shouting triumphantly]
I've got it! Now you shall see me pin it on again, all by
myself!

page 42
9. Humpty Dumpty

ALICE
[looking up to see Humpty Dumpty on the upper deck]
Well! How exactly like an egg that fellow is!
[stands underneath, with her hands ready to catch him]
HUMPTY DUMPTY
[after a long silence, looking away from Alice]
It's very provoking, . . . to be called an egg—very!
ALICE
I said you looked like an egg, Sir.
And some eggs are very pretty, you know.
HUMPTY DUMPTY
[turning away from her]
Some people have no more sense than a baby!
page 43
 ALICE
[softly to herself]
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall:
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's horses and all the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty in his place again.
[still to herself] That last line is much too long for the
poetry.
HUMPTY DUMPTY
Don't stand there chattering to yourself like that.
ALICE
[suddenly] What a beautiful belt you've got on!
. . . At least, a beautiful cravat, I should have said—no, a
belt, I mean—I beg your pardon!
[confused] If I only knew, which was neck and which was
waist!
HUMPTY DUMPTY
It is a—most—provoking—thing when a person doesn't
know a cravat from a belt!
ALICE
[humbly] I know it's very ignorant of me.
HUMPTY DUMPTY
[relenting] It's a cravat, child, and a beautiful one, as you
say. It's a present from the White King and Queen. . . .
There now! . . .
They gave it me—for an un-birthday present.

page 44
 ALICE
[puzzled] I beg your pardon?
HUMPTY DUMPTY
I'm not offended.
ALICE
I mean, what is an un-birthday present?
HUMPTY DUMPTY
A present given when it isn't your birthday, of course.
ALICE
[considering her reply] I like birthday presents best.
HUMPTY DUMPTY
You don't know what you're talking about!
How many days are there in a year?
ALICE
Three hundred and sixty-fve.
HUMPTY DUMPTY
And how many birthdays have you?
ALICE
One.
HUMPTY DUMPTY
And if you take one from three hundred and sixty-fve,
what remains?

page 45
 ALICE
Three hundred and sixty-four, of course.
HUMPTY DUMPTY
[doubtfully] I'd rather see that done on paper.
[Alice smiles as she takes out
her memorandum-book,
and works the sum for him.
Humpty Dumpty takes the book,
and looks at it carefully. ]
HUMPTY DUMPTY
That seems to be done right—
ALICE
[interrupting] You're holding it upside down!
HUMPTY DUMPTY
To be sure I was! I thought it looked a little queer.
As I was saying, that seems to be done right—though I
haven't time to look it over thoroughly just now—and that
shows that there are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents—
ALICE
Certainly.
HUMPTY DUMPTY
And only one for birthday presents, you know. . . .
There's glory for you!

page 46
 ALICE
I don't know what you mean by 'glory'.
HUMPTY DUMPTY
[smiling contemptuously]
Of course you don't—till I tell you.
I meant 'there's a nice knock-down argument for you!'
ALICE
But 'glory' doesn't mean 'a nice knock-down argument'.
HUMPTY DUMPTY
[scornfully] When I use a word, it means just what I
choose it to mean—neither more nor less.
ALICE
The question is, whether you can make words mean so
many different things.
HUMPTY DUMPTY
The question is, which is to be master—that's all.
[after a pause] Impenetrability! That's what I say!
ALICE
Would you tell me, please what that means?
HUMPTY DUMPTY
Now you talk like a reasonable child.
I meant by 'impenetrability' that:
[speaking fast] we've had enough of that subject, and it
would be just as well if you'd mention what you mean to
do next, as I suppose you don't mean to stop here all the
page 47
rest of your life.
ALICE
[thoughtfully] That's a great deal to make one word mean.
HUMPTY DUMPTY
When I make a word do a lot of work like that, I always
pay it extra.
ALICE
Oh!
HUMPTY DUMPTY
AND, as to poetry, I can recite poetry as well as other folk,
if it comes to that. . . .
Jabberwocky
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
'Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!'
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought--
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
And as in uffsh thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of fame,
Came whiffing through the tulgey wood,
page 48
 And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
'And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
ALICE
It seems very pretty, but it's rather hard to understand!
HUMPTY DUMPTY
It's rather time to say goodbye.
ALICE
Goodbye, then.
Till we meet again.
HUMPTY DUMPTY
I shouldn't know you again if we should meet.
ALICE
The face is what one goes by generally.

page 49
 HUMPTY DUMPTY
But your face is the same as everybody else's:
Now if you had two eyes on the same side of the nose, for
instance—or mouth at the top—that would be some help.
ALICE
It wouldn't look nice!
HUMPTY DUMPTY
Wait till you've tried.
[closes his eyes and remains silent]
ALICE
[waits for him to speak, gives up]
Well! Goodbye!
[walks away]

page 50
10. The Red Queen

[Alice walks into a garden,

where she is accosted by the Red Queen.]
RED QUEEN
Where do you come from?
And where are you going?
Look up, speak nicely, and don't twiddle your fngers all
the time.
ALICE
I've lost my way.
RED QUEEN
I don't know what you mean by your way. All the ways
about here belong to me—but why did you come out here
at all?
Open your mouth a little wider when you speak, and
always say 'your Majesty'.
page 51
 ALICE
I only wanted to see what the garden was like, . . .
your Majesty—
RED QUEEN
I daresay you've not had many lessons in manners yet.
ALICE
Oh, but manners are not taught in lessons.
Lessons teach you to do sums, and things of that sort.
RED QUEEN
And you do Addition?
[speaking fast] What's one and one and one and one and
one and one and one and one and one and one?
ALICE
I don't know. I lost count.
RED QUEEN
So, you can't do Addition.
Can you do Subtraction? Take nine from eight.
ALICE
Nine from eight I can't, you know, but—
RED QUEEN
She can't do Subtraction.
Can you do Division? Divide a loaf by a knife—
what's the answer to that?

page 52
 ALICE
I suppose—
RED QUEEN
Bread-and-butter, of course.
Now, curtsey while you're thinking what to say. It saves
time.
[begins to run in place under the tree, grabbing Alice's
hand, so Alice runs too]
Faster! Faster!
ALICE
Do all the things move along with us?
I wonder.
RED QUEEN
Faster! Don't try to talk!
[Alice is panting, out of breath]
RED QUEEN
Faster! Faster!
[dragging Alice along, still running in place]
ALICE
Are we nearly there?
[Queen props Alice up against a tree]
RED QUEEN
[in a kindly voice] You may rest a little now.

page 53
 ALICE
Why, I do believe we've been under this tree the whole
time! Everything's just as it was!
RED QUEEN
Of course it is!
What would you have it be?
ALICE
Well, in our country, you'd generally get to somewhere else
—if you ran very fast for a long time, as we've been doing.
RED QUEEN
A slow sort of country.
Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to
keep in the same place.
If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least
twice as fast as that!

page 54
11. Painting the Roses

NARRATOR
At that, the Red Queen ran off into the woods and
disappeared. Alice was tired of running, so she walked
slowly along the path and then—she found herself in a
beautiful garden, among bright fower-beds and cool
fountains, just like the one she had seen through the little
door, so long ago.
A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the
roses growing on it were white, but there were three
gardeners at it, busily painting them red. Alice thought
this a very curious thing, and she went nearer to watch
them, and just as she came up to them she heard one of
them say:

page 55
 TWO
Look out now, Five! Don't go splashing paint over me like
that!
FIVE
I couldn't help it. Seven jogged my elbow.
SEVEN
That's right, Five! Always lay the blame on others!
FIVE
You'd better not talk! I heard the Queen say only yesterday
you deserved to be beheaded!
TWO
What for?
SEVEN
That's none of your business, Two!
FIVE
Yes, it is his business! And I'll tell him—
it was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.
SEVEN
Well, of all the unjust things!--
[seeing Alice, Seven stops
and bows low, and
so do Two and Five]

page 56
 ALICE
[timidly] Would you tell me why you are painting those
roses?
TWO
Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been
a red rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and
if the Queen was to fnd it out, we should all have our
heads cut off, you know.
So you see, Miss, . . . we're doing our best, afore she comes,
to—
FIVE
[shouting] The Queen! The Queen!
NARRATOR
The three gardeners instantly threw themselves fat upon
their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and
Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen.
First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all
shaped like the three gardeners, oblong and fat, with their
hands and feet at the corners. Next came the courtiers and
the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them
Alice recognised the White Rabbit: it was talking in a
hurried nervous manner, smiling at everything that was
said, and went by without noticing her.
Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the King's
crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this
grand procession, came the King and Queen of Hearts. And it
was the very same Red Queen who had just run off from
her in the woods!
page 57
 RED QUEEN
[noticing Alice: severely, to the King] Who is this?
[receiving no answer] Idiot!
[sharply, to Alice] What's your name, child?
ALICE
My name is Alice, so please your Majesty.
[to herself] Why, they're only a pack of cards, after all. I
needn't be afraid of them!
RED QUEEN
And who are these?
NARRATOR
The Queen pointed to the three gardeners who were lying
round the rose-tree; for, you see, as they were lying on
their faces, and the pattern on their backs was the same as
the rest of the pack, she could not tell who they were.
ALICE
[courageously] How should I know? It's no business of
mine.
RED QUEEN
[screaming] Off with her head! Off—
ALICE
[interrupting and silencing her] Nonsense!
RED KING
Consider, my dear: she is only a child!

page 58
 NARRATOR
The three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began
bowing to the King, the Queen, and everybody else, whilst
the Queen began examining the roses.
She noticed the paint dripping from them.
RED QUEEN
What have you been doing here?
TWO
May it please your Majesty, we were trying—
RED QUEEN
I see what you were trying!
Off with their heads!
[still shouting, now to Alice] Can you play croquet?
ALICE
[shouting back] Yes!
RED QUEEN
[roaring in a voice of thunder] Come on, then! . . .
Now, everyone! Get to your places!

page 59
12. The Queen's Croquet-Ground

NARRATOR
And people began running about in all directions,
tumbling up against each other and falling down;
however, they got settled down in a minute or two, and
the game began. Alice thought:
ALICE
I have never seen such a curious croquet-ground in my
life!
NARRATOR
Curious indeed! It was all ridges and furrows; the balls
were live hedgehogs, the mallets live famingoes, and the
soldiers had to double themselves up and to stand on their
hands and feet, to make the arches.
page 60
The players all played at once without waiting for turns,
quarreling all the while, and fghting for the hedgehogs;
and in a very short time the Queen was in a furious
passion, and went stamping about, and about once every
minute, she shouted:
RED QUEEN
[looking to the right] Off with his head! . . .
[looking to the left] Off with her head!
ALICE
[to herself] I have not as yet had any dispute with the
Queen, but it might happen any minute, and then, what
would become of me? They're dreadfully fond of
beheading people here; the great wonder is, that there's
any one left alive!
[looking up, she sees a familiar grin in the tree]
Why, it's the Cheshire Cat!
Now I shall have somebody to talk to.
CHESHIRE CAT
How are you getting on?
[his whole face appears]
ALICE
I don't think they play at all fairly, and they all quarrel so
dreadfully one can't hear oneself speak—and they don't
seem to have any rules in particular; at least, if there are,
nobody attends to them—and you've no idea how
confusing it is all the things being alive.
For instance, there's the arch I've got to go through next
walking about at the other end of the ground—and I
page 61
should have croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now,
only it ran away when it saw mine coming!
CHESHIRE CAT
How do you like the Queen?
ALICE
Not at all! She's so extremely—
NARRATOR
Just then she noticed that the Queen was close behind her,
listening: so she hesitated, then went on carefully:
ALICE
She's so extremely . . . likely to win, that it's hardly worth
while fnishing the game.
RED KING
Who are you talking to?
ALICE
It's a friend of mine—a Cheshire Cat;
allow me to introduce it.
RED KING
I don't like the look of it at all;
however, it may kiss my hand if it likes.
CHESHIRE CAT
I'd rather not.

page 62
 RED KING
Don't be impertinent.
[hiding behind Alice, to the Cat] And don't look at me like
that!
ALICE
A cat may look at a king.
I've read that in some book, but I don't remember where.
RED KING
Well, it must be removed!
[to the Queen] My dear! I wish you would have this cat
removed!
RED QUEEN
[without looking round] Off with his head!
RED KING
[hurrying off] I'll fetch the executioner myself!
NARRATOR
But when the King returned, a dispute immediately arose
between the executioner, the King, and the Queen, who
were all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent,
and looked very uncomfortable.
All three appealed to Alice to settle the question, and they
repeated their arguments to her, though, as they all spoke
at once, she found it very hard indeed to make out exactly
what they said.

page 63
 EXECUTIONER
You can't cut off a head unless there is a body to cut it off
from! I've never had to do such a thing before, and I'm not
going to begin at this time of my life.
RED KING
I say anything that has a head can be beheaded! You aren't
to talk nonsense!
RED QUEEN
If something isn't done about this in less than no time
I'll have everybody executed, all round.

page 64
 NARRATOR
It was this last remark that had made the whole party look
so grave and anxious.
Alice could think of nothing to say to placate them, but at
that moment the Cheshire Cat's head began fading away.
And by the time the Queen shouted . . .
RED QUEEN
[in a fury] Off with his head!
Off with all their heads!
NARRATOR
. . . the Cat had entirely disappeared; so the King and the
executioner ran wildly up and down looking for it.
The Queen glanced around once, however, and
immediately lost all interest in the Cat.
Then she noticed that Alice was still there and had nothing
to do.

page 65
13. Beautiful Soup

RED QUEEN
[to Alice] Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?
ALICE
No. I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.
RED QUEEN
[incredulous] It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made
from!
ALICE
I never saw one, or heard of one.

page 66
 RED QUEEN
Come on, then, and he shall tell you his history.
[walks over to the Gryphon, fast asleep]
Up, lazy thing! and take this young lady to see the Mock
Turtle, and to hear his history.
I must go back and see about some executions I have
ordered.
[Queen exits. The Gryphon sits up, rubbing his eyes.
He pulls Alice along to the Mock Turtle,
who looks at them, eyes flled with tears.]
GRYPHON
This here young lady, she wants for to know your history,
she do.
MOCK TURTLE
I'll tell it her.
[a deep sigh] Once I was a real Turtle.
[another deep sigh] When we were little,
[sobbing] we went to school in the sea.
The master was an old Turtle—we used to call him
Tortoise—
ALICE
Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?
MOCK TURTLE
[angrily] We called him Tortoise because he taught us—he
was our teacher—really you are very dull!

page 67
 GRYPHON
You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a
simple question!
MOCK TURTLE
Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't
believe it—
ALICE
I never said I didn't!
GRYPHON
Hold your tongue!
MOCK TURTLE
We had the best of educations—in fact, we went to school
every day—
ALICE
I've been to a day-school, too, you needn't be so proud as
all that.
MOCK TURTLE
Ah, but yours wasn't a really good school unless they had
extras. As for me, I could only afford the regular course.
ALICE
What was the regular course?
MOCK TURTLE
Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,
and then the different branches of Arithmetic—
Ambition, Distraction, Uglifcation, and Derision.
page 68
 ALICE
I never heard of Uglifcation. What is it?
GRYPHON
What! Never heard of uglifying! You know what to
beautify is, I suppose?
ALICE
Yes, it means—to—make—anything—prettier.
GRYPHON
If you don't know what to uglify is, you are a simpleton.
ALICE
Well, tell me, how many hours a day did you do lessons?
MOCK TURTLE
Ten hours the frst day, nine the next, and so on.
ALICE
What a curious plan!
GRYPHON
That's the reason they're called lessons, because they lessen
from day to day.
ALICE
Then the eleventh day must have been a holiday?
MOCK TURTLE
Of course it was.

page 69
 GRYPHON
That's enough about lessons now.
Would you like me to explain the Lobster Quadrille?
Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?
ALICE
Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind.
GRYPHON
Humph! No accounting for tastes!
Sing her 'Turtle Soup', old fellow.
MOCK TURTLE
[Sighing deeply, and sometimes choking with sobs]
Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,
Waiting in a hot tureen!
Who for such dainties would not stoop?
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
Beautiful, beautiful Soup!
Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fsh,
Game, or any other dish?
Who would not give all else for two
Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!
page 70
 GRYPHON
Chorus again!
WHITE RABBIT
[offstage, in the distance] The trial's beginning!
GRYPHON
Come on! [takes Alice by the hand, hurrying off, without
waiting for the song]
ALICE
[panting as she runs] What trial is it?
GRYPHON
[running] Come on!

page 71
14. The Trial: Who Stole the Tarts?

[King and Queen of Hearts

seated on their throne,
the Knave standing before them;
in the very middle of the court
a table, with a large dish
of tarts upon it]
WHITE RABBIT
[trumpet in one hand, scroll of parchment in the other]
Where shall I begin, please, your Majesty?
RED KING
Begin at the beginning, and go on till you come to the end:
then stop.

page 72
 WHITE RABBIT
The Queen of Hearts,
she made some tarts,
All on a summer day:
The Knave of Hearts,
he stole those tarts,
And took them quite away!
RED KING
Jury, consider your verdict.
WHITE RABBIT
Not yet, not yet! There's a great deal to come before
that! . . .
Here is a paper that's just been picked up. [reads]
They told me you had been to her,
She had a ft, not him,
She gave me a good character,
But said I could not swim.
RED KING
That's the most important piece of evidence we could
have, so now let the jury—
ALICE
[hand on her head, noticing how much she's grown]
I don't believe there's an atom of meaning in it!

page 73
 RED KING
If there's no meaning in it, that saves a world of trouble, as
we needn't try to fnd any! . . .
And yet, I seem to see some meaning.
The Knave can't swim. And then . . .
Ah . . . but 'She had a ft, not him'—
[to the Queen] you never had fts, my dear, I think?
RED QUEEN
Never!!!
RED KING
Then the words don't FIT you.
[Pauses, looks around with a smile, waiting for laughter]
It's a pun! A pun!
[Everyone forces a laugh,
for the king's sake.]
RED KING
Now, let the jury consider their verdict.
RED QUEEN
No, no! Sentence frst—verdict afterwards.
ALICE
Stuff and nonsense!
The idea of having the sentence frst!
RED QUEEN
Hold your tongue!

page 74
 ALICE
[noticing how much she's grown] I won't!
RED QUEEN
Off with her head!
ALICE
Who cares for you? You're nothing but a pack of cards!
Just a pack of cards!
[At this the cards are thrown
down from the deck.]

page 75
 ALICE'S SISTER
Wake up, Alice dear!
Why, what a long sleep you've had! And you were
dreaming.
ALICE
Oh, I've had such a curious dream!
ALICE'S SISTER
It was a curious dream. But it's getting late!
That's enough, I think.
Now let's all have something good to eat and drink!

THE END

page 76
 Dramatised and redacted from
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
and Through the Looking Glass
by Deborah and Robert Silvey
With thanks to Lewis Carroll
and Sir John Tenniel
for their beautiful words and pictures