For more information contact InterVatsity Chrision Fellowship ofthe Philippines Literature Deparment on Primitivo Ext, Don Antonio His, Diliman 1101. Quezon City Tel (632) 9317794 / 9321339 ese eae eee. CP 0917-8991951 Emil info@ivetphil org Web wors.ivelphil.org @CCPO 1741-1187 1107 Philippines eee giietian Fellowship w 4Fourth Phitpine eon copys © 205 Sq Peat yh TV Latcrtre Depart PA 00 Bon 41-157, Quen Cy 1100 Philipines Ge Ni en see SSS sun oressss7-5 sat igne ‘Bosc Clean 1afe Studios din bythe IVCF Phiippnes College SeokF ubiations deere by Sharon Rove P stores ‘Devign by Cede Son ible quotations av feom the Reid Stndan! Veevon except where otherwise ted as pushed bythe InverVacsiy Chestin Fllowship (IVC) Philippines “Thi Philippine con copyight © 1972 Published by InteVasty Chas Fidlowship of the Philippines ‘Don Peitvo St xt, Doa Antonio Hes, Diliman 1101 Quean Cy “Te 9517796 Fa 9821339 « Web wwracvelpiLong, ‘Ghana etn copyright 1981 GHAFES Published by Asempa Publishers PO Box 919, Acer, Ghana [No put of eis pbliation ay be reproduced any en, eras xe copes say facsimile thereto do sv is solaion wf eopysght and sakes lly pares Fable possible clugges and pels under si awe thot 2 nsitomtnl siom 04 ilewolle4 noitent views zonigailie 5 remhnogad saviors ovtimi’ noG80 SEX, LOVE AND MARRIAGE FOR FURTHER READING Proverbs 31; Ephesians 5:21-33;1 Thess. 4:1-8 Towards Christian Marriage, Copper & Williams I Loved a Girl/ I Love @ Young Man, W. Trobisch ATime to Embrace, ©. R Barclay Essays on Love, A HIS Reader, IVP Christianity and Sex, 5.6, Bobboge The Bible and Sex Ethics Today, C.G. Scorere Why Wait ‘Till Marriage? E.M, Duvall Love is a Feeling to be Learned, W. Tiobisch The Returns of Love: Love Letiers of A Christian Homosexual, A. Davidson Lovers for Life, WH.Chus et al Foreword hen | was « student leader in my INCF chapter during ry college years, one of the basic tools | used in my cell groups was this Eible Study Guide. It was very helpful in teaching young Christians in our fellowship the basics of the Chrisfion life. [found the introductory section on each subject brief and concise. The BS guide questions and the suggested readings were helpful to a neophyte BS leader like me. Even when | became o Graduate Team volunteer in Cagayan de Ore City | used this BS guide in discipling young Christians Start Right, os the ttle suggests, helps the young Christian begin his walk with Christin the right way. This study guide emphasizes all of life discipleship and covers ten basic areos in one’s life with Christ. For many years it was a “musi” resource for our student leaders, staf and volunteers, It was out of print for more than « decade now. | believe itis sill @ good material for discipleship that is why we tried our best to revise and reprint it, We want to put Start Right in the honds of our START 3 Ruutstudents once agoin. ‘May you find this BS guide useful in your own spiritual growth and in helping others grow as Christ's disciples, Elsie C. Calalang National Director IVCF Philippines July 2005 START 79 RucitT Define the following: friendshis, courtship, going steady, engagement, marriage. Why is it valuable to have clear delintions?, ‘Many of us are interested in finding a desirable life partner. What can we do about becoming the desirable pariners? . Look carefully at the analogy in Eph, 5:21-33, What does it mean for the wife to be subject to her husband? For the husband to love his wife? Give practical examples. . Why are homosexual acts sinful? (See Romans 1:18.32)78 SEX, LOVE AND MARRIAGE SELF-REFLECTION 1. Since God understands my nzed for a helpmote, what should be my attitude to *husband-hunting” or "wife-picking”? What about the practice of “collect and select”? 2, What qualities om | looking for in 9 possible life partner? Are they based on Scripture? 3. Wht is wrong with my prasentaftude fo sex? How does this study help me? MUSING. 1. What do we soy to advocates of “free love"? Of divorce, or seporation? 2. What obout petting? Why wait till morrioge? START 5 RicHT Contents Preface 7 iNew life » 2Prayer 1s 3Bible study 2 ife together 27 5Sharing the good news 33 6Knowing God’s will 41 7Stewardship 49 8Sin and temptation 55 9Worldliness 63 10Sex, love, and marriage 73Taate THI 9o0ter4 se00lq of exrieab onlw insbutenviteinl2 srl wot s10 esibute Seon of prlliv od feum insbute © ru2 sil zr to 0810 nave ni bo bute eldi@ evonee ob Insildid ort }o ytommuz © zsbulani rsiqod> 09 zaoqmoo teind 0 nl 1 fo ybute svitoubni no 20 law 20 ,tosidue tnohogmi no no gridsost sigot emoe ert no gnievaot noihog swigis? aitinage 1 noit382 © 2nd >igot doe ,noitesilggo ti ybuleeldid to loop ert soni Woy of enoitosilago @'ybute zit tuo stiw yllultlguort yom voy doide aii solted 2i fi tevewoH estunim OE ni bsibuie ed yllouev no reiqor> A -bo ni ji lita rettad 2 tl Joo rove yholupsy wod Ilut © ebieo tee of ‘nged zod torlw eeuzeib ot quorg llome » div tgem no voy snot seoqnug zirt ro} beeu od yom noizeuseib 10k enoiteoup aril .beibute zoriupor igot o H oot enoitesup nwo ist stolurmo} nos quowg od oy auot nn> znoitespgua enibosr arlt bao enoiteaup aeerlt ybule arom START 77 RIGHT prcyer, common sense, cicumstorces, peace, and counsel will help you find God’s wll God loved you enough to give up His Son con the cross for you; He surely lovas you enough to lead you to His chosen life partner (Rom. 8:32) GOING DEEPER Genesis 2: 18-23 1. What need did God see in Adar? Haw did He answer the need? 2. How is the creation of woman different from the creation of other living things? What does this imply? 3. How did Adam react to God's provision? 4, What is unique about the mariage relationship? (v.24) 5. How is sex regarded in this possoge?76 SEX, LOVE AND MARRIAGE relationship between Christ and His Church (Eph. 5:21-33). The wife, 's to be subject to the husband just as the Church is subject to her Lord; but the husband is to love the wife in the same way that Christ loved the Church! No wonder marriage is a permanent and exclusive relationship. “Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves fo his wife, and they become one flesh” (Gen, 2:24). "What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mark 10:9} “Cleave” suggests the strength and permanence of the now irrevocable unity which is expressed through the act of sexual union, Separation and divorce ore to be abhorred. God calls some to be unmarried Allthis should not imply that unmarried people are incomplete Persons. itis not harmful io be unmarried. Jesus wos perfect yet He never married. Paul, in a given situation, advised the Corinthians to be 4s he was (bachelor or widower — | Cor. 7:7 ft). God may call some Christians to forsake martiage for the Kingdom's sake (Matt. 19:10 ff), Hf this is God's call, itis not @ “second best.” The choice must be in God's will For those who are contemplating marriage, Scripture gives some Quidelines for choosing a pariner. A Christian should morty only ‘another believer (ll Cor. 6:14). He should mary only if he is ready, cand is sure of God's choice (Song of Solomon 2:7),. Character is more important than physical attractiveness (Prov. 31:10-31) ‘Admittedly, chorocteris dificult fo assess, but itis indicated by a person's commitment to Ged, sprtual-mindedness, emotional and infellectval traits, age, family background, and education, Scriptures, START RIGHT Preface hese studies are for the Christian student who desires to please God in every area ofhis life. Such o student must be willing to do serious Bible study In. brief compass each chapier includes a summary ofthe Biblical teaching on an important subject, as well as an inductive study of specific Scripture portion focusing on the same topic. Since the goal of Bible study is application, each topic has a section in which you may thoughtully write out this study's applications to your lite, A chapier can usually be stedied in 30 minutes. However itis better to set oside @ full hour requarly every week. Iti better sil f, in od- dition, you can meet with a small group to discuss what has been studied. The questions for dscussion may be used for this purpose The group can formulate their own questions too. Ifa topic requires more study, these questions ond the reading suggestions can toke youSTART RIGHT deeper into the subject. ‘The chapters wern originally writen by diferent staff members of Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship, Philippines, and each chapter was evaluated by the entire staf The second edition included revisions suggested by both stoff and students. This fourth edition represents, further improvement. May God continue to use this booklet to help believers love ond obey Jesus more meaningfully. Isabelo F Magalit, M.D. Associate General Secretary for South-East Asia International Fellowship of Evangelical Students Janvory 1972 things thot defile a man (Mark 7 21). Virginity is God's standard for both man and woman entering marriage. Clearly sexucl intercourse is proper only within the bond of rarriage. Love is more than sex Lovers should be physically attracted to each other. But lave is more tan physical atraction. Love involves the whole person - body, soul cond spirit Its on attitude of the heart which binds lovers even after bodily ottractions are no longer so important. Love means confidence ‘ond trust, fellowship and commen experience, shored hopes and sorrows. It is not self-seeking or sel-gratifying. Love is self-giving. Love seeks the highest good of the lovee one at all ies | Cor. 13) Marriage is for procreation and companionship Marriage hos been designed for al least wo purposes: procreation (Gen. 1:28), and companionshia (Gen 2:18). Marriage isthe God- cordoined means of bringing children into the world. When we realize how much of the cheracter of « pe'son is determined by the stability of his parents’ marriage, we con see something of God's wisclom. But the other purpose may be even more important. God saw Adam and said that it was not good fo h m to be alone. So He made him ‘a poriner thot would fit him in every way (“helper fit,” Gen. 2:1 8). He was masculine; she was feminin2. They complemented and completed each other. Because men and women are different, they need each ther, Genesis 1:27 implies thatthe union of man and woman is part of the expression of God's image. Itis the kind of union thot is symbolic of the relationship of the Persons in the: ‘Godhead. In the New Testament, this union becomes an analogy for the START 75 RIGHT74 SEX, LOVE AND MARRIAGE sist 1New Lite - Sexis of God “So God created man in His own mage... male and female He created them’ (Gen, 1:27). Sexsolty belongs to the created order; sexvaliy existed prior to the Fall. Creating man as male and female vias an expression of God’s love, God called His work “good”. Adam ve together received God's klessing, and together they receiver feel Baroda receive Gods blssing ane etry reeehe hen a person responds fo Jesus Christ trusting the mandote to rule over the earth date 0 neo Hirn os Saviour, submitting to Him os Lord, ond Sex is good ‘worshipping Hin us God ~Jesus erfers ile thal person's heart and life ust as He promises in Revelation 3:20. Human physical existence always implies man os a sexual being, male ‘cons 81, Colo, cr female, When we thank God for creating us, we ore gratefully one ote 2 eg ‘ccepting our bodies ond our sexusliy, Therefore the Christin is See ten) | < "9, not ascetic, not negative or embarrassed about sex. He accepts his sewvality as one of the things his heavenly Father has given him richly to enjoy. Sex can be abused But sex con be misused. When sax is given first place, its glorification comes under God's condemnation (Rom. 1:24,25). Adultery was an co'fense punishable by death under the Mosaic Low. Christ said “that | every one who looks at a woman Iustfully has olready committed } adultery with her in his heart” (Matt. 5:28), Jesus also included femication — sex relations betweer the unmarried — among the evilNEW LIFE A revolutionary change He is « new person, 0 new creature (2 Corinthians 5:17]. His spiritual eyes have been opened, he has iuined from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God. He has received forgiveness of sins, and hos taken his ploce among the saints (Acts 26:17,18). He was dead in sin; now he is alive in Christ. He was a subject of Satan; now he is o child of God. He was a slove to the passions of the flesh; now, yielding to God, he is @ slave of righteousness {Ephesians 2:1-10, Romans 6:15-19). Assure relationship This new life is primarily a living relationship with God. It is certain: “I ‘write this to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have etemol life” (1 John 5:13) Itis not based on feelings that fluctuate, but on God's Word that endures forever. Itis secure. Sin may get in the woy of fellowship with the Father, but it cannot destroy the relotionship. Jesus said, *..they shall never perish, cand no one shall snatch them out of my hand” (John 10:28} START 73 RIGHT 10Sex, Love ond Marriage ext fo conversion, marriage is the most important commitment an individual can make. This decision affect life totaly and permanently. So iti important for the Chrslian to consider it carefully, examining Scripture for guidance,TaaT2 ey THO evol xecOl Sp0iTiOM bro tmohogmileom erl zi egeinom toizwevne> ot be noizizeb 2idT .oom n> Icubivibni no tnemtimmo> taohogm’ zi 02 yltnenormeq bn ylltot stl aostto rot swutginr2 gninimoxs yllutsio9 fi 1ebizno> ot noiteiv{D sdt rot sonobivg START All of life involved New life changes every aspect of the Christian. Beginning with its bosic ‘motives for living, itincludes his desires, yes, all of his existence. As Paul says, “Whether you eat o- drink, or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God" (1 Corinthians 10:31). Clearly, this new life is not one aspect among mony. is not synonymous with the sacred or the religious in contrast with the secular or the mundane. Iris rather the invasion of « person's total being by a new dimension, o new perspective, « center of integration. This new life is actually Christ’ life, lived in ond through the believer. A glorious mystery has been reveoled fo us: Christ, the hope of glory, ‘actually lives in the Christian! (Colossians 1:26, 27 and 3:4) AAs the Christian yields to Hin, Christ will exoress His life in every area of the believer's exstence. This booklet will help you grow in some bosic areas. There are undoubtedly other areas; all of them are to be brought into subjection to Christ os Lord. There are to be no ‘reas outside His jurisdiction. Al of life is sacred when Jesus Christ is in control.NeW LIFE GOING DEEPER Ephesians 2:1-10 1, There is a clear "before ond ofter” contrast in this passage. What five things does Paul say about the former life of the Ephesian Christians? 2. How does he describe them now in their new status? 3. How did the change in the Ephesions come about? SELF-REFLECTION 1. Which of he descriptions of the old life are stil irve of me today? Why? 2. What are some ofthe implications af my new status in Christ for my daily life? 3. How can | express my thankfulness to God for His rch mercy ond great love? 4, Hthe naw life is Christ's life, what does this have to do with my ‘ambition, my career, my life partner, my money, my time, my priorities? START 71 RIGHT 5. Comment on the Christian who was trying to witness to his doncing partner (cp. | Cor 10:32). 4. Why is the lst of “worldly activities” different from country to country? 7. What are the most controversial issues regarding worldliness in our CChristion fellowship? How can wa resolve them@ FOR FURTHER READING | Corinthians 9 ond 10; | John 2:12-17 Taboo? CS. Woods How to Give Away Your Faith, PLitle (chopter on Worldliness) Guide to Campus Christian life, IVP Lost Audience, P Litle “Those Do's and Don's,” HIS Dec. 1965 and Jan. 1966 Defeating the Dragon of the World, 5, Eyne The Fight, J. White70 WORLDLINESS SELF-REFLECTION 1. The issue in Corinth was mea, What are the issues that involve me cand Christians today? 2. How can | make sure a weak brother does not stumble over my: exercise of “bent”? 3. Ha brother stumbles over certain things | do, how can | help him? 4. On the other hand, what shovld | do if | see o more mature Christian engaged in some deubttul activity? ‘MUSING Why is it so important fo see that spirituality is firs o matter of the heart before itis a matter o° the act@ 2. How is it possible for @ person who abstains from a long list of taboos to be actually worldh? 3. Did Poul become vegetarian? 4, Why ist easier to promote a system of taboos than a truly biblical standard of living? START 13 ich MUSING 1. What does the passage teach about Satan? 2. What does Paul here mean by the flesh? 3. What does it mean to sit in Christ in the heavenly places? 4, Notice how offen Poul uses the word “grace”, also the following expressions: "ich in metey..creatlove...mmeosurable riches of his grace in kindness...gift” What is he emphosiang? 5. What is the relationship between salvation, grace, faith, and good works? What do good works include? 6. *Solo fide, solo grata..." said the Reformers {by faith olone, by grace alone). What did they mean? IllustrateNEW LIFE FOR FURTHER READING Christ in You, 'VP My Heart, Christ's Home, 8, Munger Being a Christian, .R.W. Stott Learning to Love God, 8, Peace Consistent Christianity, M. Griffiths New Life at Your Fingertips, IVCF What We Believe, VCF START 69 RIGHT GOING DEEPER | Corinthions 8:1-13 1. Everyone has “knowledge.” Why is love needed in addition? 2. Why do we need to love God to be “known by Him”? 3. What do the Corinthians "know"é 4, What can happen to those who do not “know”? How does this happen? 5. Therefore, what is the respons\bilily of those who “know” to those who don't? Of the strong fo the weak? 6. How does Paul show that eating meat offered to idols in itself is neither good nor bad? (ys. 4,8) 7. This knowledge is qualified by « deeper principle inv. 9. What is this principle and how does heillstate its practical expression in vs.10 and 112 8. In what sense is wounding the conscience of a weaker brother a sin against Christ?6B WORLDLINESS Third, I must not love the world. | should held my possessions with open hands, receiving them as gift from the Father but willing to let 90 of them a He directs. | must regard my personal assets — social Prestige, university degree — in light of eternal values. Fourth, | must resist the pressure of the world to make me conform to iis way of looking at things. Many of those who graduate from nursing school go to the United Siates. 3ut| must be willing fo work in @ mission station. While many wants to work for greener pastures, I must seek my place in world mission. In an exclusive romantic relationship where sexis an ordinary ingrediant | adhere to God's principles on love and sex. This does not mean | base my convictions on the cultural patterns of my Christian circle. The fith principle is tht | must base my behavior (on Scriptures, taking care not to go beyond what it requires. | must toke my Christian brother into consideration but | must be prepared to disagree with him. I must be fully persuaded in my own mind that what | opprove of wil glory God. | rus: not pass judgment on my brother if he does something | do not approve of (Romans 14:3-5) Finally, | must allow the Holy Spirit to mold me and my sense of values through the Word of God day by doy. | must present all lam and all | have as a living sacrifice, holy end acceptable to God (Romans 12: 1-2). START 15 rach Fellowship with God 2Prayer evra a, oe Sy, ye Perm, 1 wo, royer is eo “4” hearts to *, Me iz God, our loving =, fg Fother. We are a 29 Gou’s children and He is our Father only becouse OE ? 3 ‘of Jesus (John 1:12, Romans 8:15, 16). To give us 5 a sonship, Jesus has to pay a terrible price. "He who did : i not spare his own Son aut gave him up for us all, will i ~ he not also give us al things with him? (Romans 6: 32), God delights to give us more than we have faith to ask or receive. We need to open our hearts to Him continually. So. %y, y sito a, PMS epmpman am DUN.16 FELLOWSHIP WITH GOD : PRAYER Why pray? God desires that we proy. He says, “Seek ye my face” (Psalm 27:8). He wants sto talk with Him. We may not alncys be able to express ‘what we want fo say but God understands. His Holy Spirit helps us to pray as we ought (Romans 8:26). God wants us to come to Him confidently. He explains that Jesus is our “high priest” (Hebrews 4: 15,16) We need to proy. Jesus said, “Without me, you can do nothing” (ohn, 15:5}. When we don't pray, ne are trying to do things independently of God. We also deprive ourselves of what God has for us, “You do not have because you do not ask” (James 4:2]. We need to pray not only during quiet jimes ond scheduled proyer meetings but many times o dy. The Bible tells us to pray constantly (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Jesus set the exomple. He took time to be alone with His Father. At times He would rise up early in the morning to pray (Mark 1:35). At ‘other times He would spend the whole night in prayer (Luke 6:12}. Facing the cross in Gethsemane, he agonized in prayer (Luke 22:40- 44). Jesus, the sinless one, needed to pray, how much more wel START 67 RIGHT function he must be in the world, even though he is not of the world (ohn 17:11,16) How then is the Cristian to live? ow does he know what to do ine given sitvotion® Its easy fo follow a series of clear-cut rules, but this isnot God's method of moking us mature, Although He has recorded some very cleor commands {for sxomple, adultery is forbidden, Matt 4:28), Scripture is primarily a prnciples-book rather than a rules- book Vihot principles must we follow, then, in deciding debatable issues for which there are no explicit instructions? Six principles First, all of life—play, study, prayer, house cleaning, sleeping— belongs to God. This means I do not divide my life into two compartments, one “secular” and *he other “sacred”, | play for God's glory and study His Word for His gory. | must do everything to the glory of God | Cor. 10:31), Second, although God “generously gives us everything to enjoy” ( Tim. 6:17), | must use His gifts according to His instructions. Sex is a ‘wonderful gift of God, but it becomes one of the most sordid things in lfe when its function is distorted. T1e body is not only a gift from God ut is the temple of the Holy Spirit (I Cor. 6:19), and therefore | must rot abuse it or harm it, In particuler | must bewore of certain habits that tend to enslave (| Cor. 6:2C].66 WORLDLINESS. Worldliness So worldiness is attachment fo this present world and its values. it consists in living without refererce to God, and in satisfying your ‘ppetites simply for your selfish, sensual pleasure, It occurs when eenything other than God, however legitimate in itself isthe central cbject of your affection and interest. Ths is why to be the world’s friend is to be God's enemy (lomes 4:4) Worldliness is primarily on inner atitude rather then an external act. This is why Scripture has no explicit list of “worldly activites.” The inner attitude determines the worlcliness of an act. Thus the Chistian receives all things as good gifts frem his heavenly Father, while the \worldling (the natural man) is so icken up with things that he forgets their source. The Christian “eats ta the glory of God,” while the worldling may be a glutton Separation, not isolation Failure to distinguish between the |ast two meanings of the word “world” has been responsible for much confusion. The world of people isnot the same as the value-system that enslaves them. Although the (Christian is to reject the friendship of the world ames 4:4, value- system), he is nevertheless sent into oll the world (Mork 16:15, the people] to preach the Gospel. The Christian must love the worldling while rejecting his value system. This means seporation from the worldling’s sin but not isolation from him. The separation is to be spirtual end moral, not physical and secial, The Chrstion is ight and sa t (Matt. 5:13,14). To. perform his What does prayer include? Prayer is worship and thanksg ving. it means giving God the honor and respect that He, the Creator end Sustainer of all things, deserves. We ‘adore Him for who He is and forall that He means to us. We thank Him for oll He has done and wll do. The psalmist praised God for His help ond deliverance; for His mercy, forgiveness, and cleansing; for His gentleness and goodness; for His name and His Word; for His steadfast love and faithfulness. “Because Thy steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise Thee" (Psalm 63:3). Prayer is confession. As we get to know Gud Letter, we leam more of our sinfulness. He points out areas of selfishness, of pride, of loving other people or things more than we lave Him. Itis painful to know that we hava hurt the One we love by our sin, but reassuring to know we can come directly to Him and confess. “If we confess our sins, He is foitsul and just, and will forgive...” {1 John 1:9}. Prayer is petition ond intercession. Because God loves us, He wants us to tell Him all our concerns. He says that we should not worry about anything, but should pray about everything (Philippians 4:6,7). He also tells us fo pray constantly and fo give thanks in all circumstances (7 Thessalonians 5:17,18). We should pray for our daily needs and for the needs of others. We should pray that our family, our friends, and ‘our acquaintances will come to know Christ as Soviour and Lord, ond that those who know Him will grow in their walk with Him.