Jessica Clarke Leger

From:
Sent: Wednesday, September 20, 2017 1:02 PM
To: Jessica Clarke Leger
Subject: permission

Dr. Jessica,
has permission to see the letter.

1
Jessica Clarke Leger

From:
Sent Friday, September 15, 2017 10:37 AM
To: Jessica Clarke Leger; jessica@louisiana.edu
Subject: meeting

Dr. Jessica,
I am allowing you to share and talk about my letter in today's meeting with .
Thanks,

1
August 2, 2017

There was a series of three days after the Texas A&M games where he held hour long verbally abusive
attacks on me. Saying things like I am a pussy but it isn't my fault, I come from a family of pussies.
Meanwhile my mom was going to Houston for stage 4 Lymphoma, after having breast cancer my
freshman year, another time when he knew but blamed me being a pussy on never having gone through
a hard time. I will never amount to anything. He then started clustering us (former players, plugs) into a
long line of pussies he has coached. He wished with all his heart that the day we die we will be suffering
with regrets we have on the softball field.

7 minutes late. There is no one there but a circle of just the

starters and Coach Mike - he had instructed all "nonstarters to get out of the indoor". I am shaking as I
write this. I have never seen someone so angry - he told me to leave; I was crying as he was mimicking
me and making fun of my nervous nonverbal habits with hatred and disgust and forced me to stop and
stand still with my arms straight down at my side. He begged others to step in and take his side. He said
"I have given you so many opportunities and chances you can hang yourself with a rope". Two sisters
started crying They didn't

When things like this happen no one says anything, no one stands up to him. He has a well thought out,
deliberate system in place. It is a brainwashed bullying culture where if you are a targeted person you
have to make a choice: believe what he is saying (no self-esteem-weak so he is free to mold you
however he please) but work on yourself and become better by engaging with, of course, Coach Mike.
Or there is a second option: "get the fuck out". Either way, you are bred to be weak so you don't fight
back, because hey, we all agreed that in between the lines we can be the most competitive we can be
and that is him just being competitive and wanting the best from us, right?

There are nights I stay awake thinking, what if I did leave like he begged me many times? -

But there is a
sisterhood. And he does make good programs. We have good opportunities. That is why we stay. With
that said, he has back up. If you are still playing on the team you do not want to go against him, no
matter how much you know what is right. Because if you do, it causes conflict and you do not want to
give him any reason to personally vindicate you.

I know he is going to get pissed with what I am saying and will be sharing this with teams to come,
probably something like "if you are a pussy get out now, pussies are liabilities" and will add in some kind
of contract to protect himself. Coach Mike will defend the culture he has built. He is good at it. He was a
lawyer and has gone through many investigations and reports and knows his reasoning to a T: It's the
competitive atmosphere he created, it is the way to coach, the world has become so soft, the good
coaches and the good players are going to leave and not let the mediocre pussies takeover. We have all
heard it before. He is manipulating his words and thoughts to defend his abusive and bullying
atmosphere to the extent of where he himself cannot see any other way. There needs to be a line. This
is not the norm and definitely not how other programs are ran. When do we say enough is enough?

how to handle criticism. There needs to be a point when people can come together and realize there
have been a lot of complaints and concerns regarding coach mike. Maybe it's really not okay and we
should stand up. Ironic that the competitors he has raised are FEARFUL to stand up to him.

But I don't see how after all of this, and similar things happened to me my sophomore year- I can go
into more detail but crunched for time - he still wants me around, because I sure do not want to
experience anything like that again. And with his texts out to players about me, how awkward, even if I
didn't just list other reasons, we should not work together. And he has a fifth year assistant now. I didn't
want to come forward with this because I am loyal to the program and my sisters, but I cannot have
Michael Lotief affecting any more of my life. And that includes him telling me where I should work and
telling me to quit a 14U travel team. No-"that aint right", coach mike.
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To Whom it May Concern,
My name is , and my freshmen year of college was spent at your school The University of
Louisiana at Lafayette. I played softball for Michael Lotief, and at the beginning of February of 2017 I
received verbal abuse, mental abuse, and bullying from Coach Mike that resulted in me leaving the
program two weeks into the start of season. Iv seen what is currently going on with Coach Mike and
your program, and I felt the need to step up and shed some light to you on a man who is fighting for
womens equity, yet the respect for his own players doesnt seem to add up with his actions or words
that he is giving to the public. I had wanted to avoid doing this, and simply go about my life and try and
just move on from everything that happened spring of 2017, but I feel that it is time to address the
abuse of power, and verbal abuse Coach Mike displayed on a daily basis to the girls on the team and to
myself as well in particular.

I noticed right when I got there and up until when I left that Mike Lotief would use the word pussy on a
daily basis, multiple times, throwing the word around at girl after girl in order to coach and push
them. During one of our fall practices, I had rounded the first base bag incorrectly and Lotief came up to
me and yelled Are you a pussy? I shook it off thinking no I am not a pussy then was like woah why I am
thinking like that. But, as a new face in the program I just let it go because I wanted to fit in. And there in
the UL program it was clear to see that being called pussy was part of that atmosphere and culture.
There were numerous occasions where Lotief would scream the word, direct it at a player, or even joke
about it. During the fall, when the presidential election was taking place, Lotief had made a joking
remark mocking Trump where he stated to the team, Shoot I wish I could grab a girl by the pussy, and
he stuck his tongue out to look silly and then he laughed. What is sad is that after that girls on the team
laughed, where as I was disturbed but once again I shook it off then laughed a little because I wanted to
fit in and wanted to understand the humor of this coach who I was putting all of my trust into. Lotief
attempted jokes about people with disabilities, where he asked one of the players if they they needed to
be on the same bus as Watson, a volunteer student we had who has autism. This short bus joke was an
attempt of his to be funny, and this was a situation where I did not try to make an excuse for this man,
because my aunt has Down Syndrome and that joke upset me and resulted in me kinda facing away
from the huddle because I was so disturbed. This revealed to me his morals and character, and whats
disappointing is that as these events would happen the girls who had been there for years would laugh
and joke at these horrid remarks just like Lotief. They had been there for years, and in turn were a mere
resemblance of his character and values. There was also an instance where we were having defensive
practice inside our hitting facility, and I had made an error at second base and Lotief yelled at me, You
motherfucker I want to take this and shove it up your ass every time you fucking do that . I was
completely caught off guard by this because it had almost seemed to be a threat even if Lotief didnt
think so. Another example would be when I was in centerfield and had fielded a ball incorrectly, and
Lotief called my name, and when I looked he simply threw up both of his hands with both middle fingers
up, and he flicked me off because of my play. I just looked at him and nodded my head.

Now February was an extremely stressful month due to the events that took place and my leave from
the team came from a series of events and meetings Lotief and I had. He had a conversation with the
team regarding red shirts, and in this meeting he made the statement that, If you want to leave leave
now, because if you redshirt come summer I wont release you. Considering season hadnt even started
and he had just told me he wanted to redshirt me I took this as a huge statement to make. I told my
parents, and my father had texted Lotief saying no decision about transferring will be made right now.
My dad was simply protecting me and my future decisions if I wanted to leave in the summer. Well,
Sunday night two days after this meeting with the freshmen, Lotief talked to the team about how great
redshirting is, which if Lotief had sat down and had a conversation with me like I had wanted, then he
wouldve known that yes it was a bummer to know I wouldnt be playing, but I was on track to get my
masters so I wouldnt complain about sitting out a year, because that just meant Id have another year
of education payed for. After the meeting Lotief told me to pick my two best friends, and I was
extremely confused about what he was about to do but I did so. He then said he wanted
and in the meeting, and then changed his mind and said, I want the whole team here
for this. From there Lotief addressed questions about my displeasures with the team to the two
friends I had chosen, and then Lotief questioned me in front of the whole team, and he had no intention
of listening to what I had to say. He belittled me, mocked me, questioned me to a point where I was at a
loss of words because I was crying and so uncomfortable, and when I had said, This was a conversation
I wanted to have one on one with you, he made a face like that was a stupid comment and claimed that
other people felt the same as I did but really from his demeanor and the way he was addressing me you
could tell this was just meant to make an example of me. He brought up a comment I had made in
private comparing me and the girl I was competing against for the second base position and he said it
aloud for everyone to hear purposefully to separate me from the team. He then proceeded to tell me
after the meeting I needed to stay away from my two friends because they had bad attitudes, but then
right after he went to my roommate and told her she needed to separate herself from me because I was
a negative influence. After the meeting he made me get my phone and make a phone call to my parents,
while I was still crying, because I was a liar. He told me that the comment he made was directed
towards another freshman in particular and that it was my fault for not picking up on it. The next day I
met with to get advice on what to do and she told me I needed to go in there and
apologize if I ever wanted to get back on good terms with him. So in that meeting later that day Lotief
straight up the said, the bridge may be too broken to fix. Then told me I needed to come up with a
whole new contract if I would stay but if I wanted to leave he laid out everything for me to do and who
to get in contact with. He also explained to me how he could not understand how my dad who was a
coach could think one way when really that was not the Intention of the message, and if Lotief had
taken the time to have a conversation with me he wouldve known that. I left that meeting Monday
understanding Lotief wanted me gone and would not waste his time on me. The man who I considered
to be my father figure for the next four to five years had completely just switched his opinion on me.

To sum up my time after that it consisted of me continuing to go to practice, where I was ignored, not
acknowledged, and not coached. My entire life I have never been a quitter, and I knew I had
perseverance and grit. So for two weeks I continued to go to practice and be hopeful that things would
die down, and during those two weeks I was ignored, not coached, not acknowledged, and it was
absolutely awful. Before every practice I would call my parents on my drive to the field, and would then
sit in the parking lot and cry on the phone because I did not want to go. I was humiliated, felt separated
from the team, and knew that I was walking into an environment where I knew Lotief did not want me
there whatsoever. It was terrible, and the very idea of softball practice or Lotief made me dread each
day. And what shook me the most was the fact that I had no idea how everything just blew up, and why
Lotief just felt the need to get rid of me. All I wanted was to be able to discuss with Lotief the type of
player he saw myself becoming, and I had expressed this to Malveaux Saturday night after a scrimmage
where we discussed my game and the type of player Id be in four years. Whats funny is that that
conversation had actually went well, I just wanted to discuss it with Lotief too. Everything he had just
said had switched up, because Friday he and Chris had praised me for my attitude, and work ethic and
he decided so quickly that my character was not good enough to talk to me one on one and have a
conversation with me, even though up until that point Lotief had no reason to think so negatively of me.
After the first meeting Friday night he had even addressed all the freshmen saying if we ever wanted to
talk we could. All I had wanted was to have to a conversation with him, and he decided that my parents
texting them a concern of theirs was enough reason to make an example out of me then separate me
from the team. Lotief had made it very clear that he wanted me gone. In attempt to figure out how this
situation had blown up I texted Chris Malveuax, Hey Coach Chris, sorry to text you so late. I have a few
concerns since we had a meeting with coach Mike. I feel like ever since the meeting I am not getting
coached/corrected like I was before. Is it because of the talk with coach Mike? Am I suppose to talk to
coach Mike again, I feel like things are very awkward with you and him ever since last week. I received
no response to this. The coaches had cut off their ties with me, and even Coach Stef, Lotiefs wife, had
made a comment to my roommate about how negative I was.

Now, I would like to tell you that my character is not at all what Lotief deemed it to be. I am kind,
respectful, and honest. I do not judge, and to be honest I can tend to be passive, so when all of this was
going on I honestly should have stuck up for myself more instead of letting Lotief deem me to be
something I am not. But, growing up a coaches kid I always respected my elders and coaches and
typically believed my coaches were right, but I know now that he was not. Lotief tried to strip me of who
I knew I was by calling me a bad influence, too sensitive, and a liar. He criticized my parents which in
turn made me mad at them because I listened to what Lotief said, when really he was just manipulating
me because all my parents were doing was protecting their kid. But Lotief didnt like that, so he took it
out on me.

My leave from the team was the best decision I could have made, because for the rest of the semester I
went to my grandparents house in Houston every weekend where my perspective on the whole
situation changed. I got back to my morals and values, and realized that the values and standards Lotief
was thrusting upon us were wrong. I realized that all of the excuses I made were there to defend his
actions, and soon it dawned on me that it is NOT okay for a grown man to call me, a young woman and
future mother, a pussy. What was crazy too, was that I had players from the team so excited and
interested in where I would be transferring to, and one had even said so many of the them wanted to
leave but didnt think they could, so me leaving was exciting for them.

The purpose of this letter and me bringing to light these events and actions are not out of spite, or
meant to tear down Mike Lotief. I am doing this to inform you of the coach you have working for you
who works with young women such like myself, and how his respect for women is non existent.
It breaks my heart to know that I am only nineteen years old and have to accept, cope, and grow from
the fact that Mike Lotief mentally and verbally abused me. He abused his power, bullied me, belittled
me, and made me feel awful about myself and my parents. I can only hope that whoever is reading this
realizes that this situation is not okay. After getting and staying away from that environment I can finally
say that I am happier, but the emotional tole, whether it seems like Coach Mike did much or not, has
done an impression on me that I am just now starting to come to terms with. I am respecting myself
more, realizing my self value and getting my self confidence back, and I firmly know that the
environment Coach Mike creates for young women is degrading, unhealthy, and sexist. If I had stayed
there the next four years I do not know what kind of women I would be, what I would value and respect
about myself, and what my core values would be so I am thankful everyday for this new and healthy
environment here at where I am treated with respect. I can only hope that some actions will
be taken there at UL so that the next that goes through there knows what she is getting
herself into before she gets there.
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter,