Midwest 11 and Penn Douche 2017 Midseason Report

Disclaimer
Most of this report was complete prior to press so youll see my depressing changes with strikethroughs and additional
comments in italics sporadically as the Fantasy Gods have yet again smited the Jeffalo Bills once they were ready to
become great again. Kindly, fuck you all.

Opening Monologue
And here we are again. Another year, another Chris Nunez 0 5 start. Another year, another kind $50 donation from
Adam. Another year, another amazing free agent pickup (Deshaun Watson) by yours truly the Jeffalo bills
FuckEvry1&Everything. (and hey look another year another Jeffalo Bills gets fucked royally, big shocker)

But there is also much different this year. I have received rave reviews of our new auction draft format that Ive been
campaigning for a couple years now. I will modestly take full credit for that. I want to thank all of you that took part in
the voting regarding keeper and auction drafting and I greatly value your input. Although I didnt care enough to look at
the results before making the decision, nor had any intention to, I will at least share the results for PR purposes 1. Below
is a graph showing that you all, as a league and as a unit of men, painstakingly took the effort to contemplate, reflect,
and ultimately decide through a MAJORITY RULE of seven votes that you didnt care enough to vote

But! With 5 votes, and in a close second place was the Keeper league with Auction draft option. And for all you sorry
sack of Mike Glennon Jerseys, thats not too terrible. Anyway, the takeaway here is that I made a great decision in taking
this league to an auction draft and keeper league. Keep that in mind during the next Commish election year 2.

I thought it would be interesting to give you a simple pivot table showing you what round the players you drafted were
equivalent to based on ranking the order of highest to lowest priced auction values. Check it out on the next page. This
might reveal some trends about our teams. For instance, maybe it wasnt a great idea for Heetabh to blow his load on
two first and one second round picks and be forced to draft 6 15th round players. I dont know, just a thought.

Table of Draft Round Equivalents:

1
2 Year and date TBD by Commish
Midwest 11 and Penn Douche 2017 Midseason Report

R
o Jordan' Kombuc Lovea Luck of Trubis
u #3 Gay Hail Jeffalo Bills s Kareem ha ble the Slayed ky Knights
n HB Butl Rodg Fuckevry1&E howha in your Overdo Winne Thoma By The Busine WhoSa
d NK ers ers! verything rd? Hunt se rs s' Bell ss yKnee
1 1 2 2 2 1 1 1 1 1
2 1 1 1 2 2 2 1 1 1
3 3 1 2 1 3 2
4 1 1 2 2 2 1 1 1 1
5 1 1 1 1 1 3 1 1 2
6 1 1 3 1 1 2 1 2
7 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 3
8 2 1 1 2 1 1 1 1 1 1
9 1 2 2 1 3 2 1
10 4 1 2 1 1 1 2
11 1 1 1 2 1 1 3 2
12 1 1 2 2 1 2 1 2
13 1 2 1 2 1 2 2 1
14 2 3 2 1 1 3
15 6 3 2 1

Mid-Season Survey
To keep satisfaction in this league high, you were recently asked to take part in another survey on how things are going
in the league. My PR staff assures me that putting this survey out shows just how invested and thoughtful of a Commish
I am. And based on your responses, it is evident that my approval level is top-notch with positive comments reaching as
high as:

100 percent of you agreed that I am the best Commish of all time and I thank you for the vote of confidence. With such
unanimity, I thought it would be interesting to see what it was about me that was so great. So I asked you all and
received many thought-out, from the heart responses such as:
Midwest 11 and Penn Douche 2017 Midseason Report
Some commenters used this same question to illustrate both of sides of controversial, highly-complex issues with the
following opposing points of view:

But the survey is really more about you than it is about me. What better way would there be to allow you to express
your views and make the league the best it can possibly be by surveying and analyzing all our ideas together? Your input
from the continued use of these surveys allows us to see what we really need moving forward. For instance, when asked
What changes would you recommend for the league going forward?, you replied:

And

You may be wondering how many of us replied something to the effect of wanting a new Commish in response to this
question. I can assure you that although I wont reveal how many stated this, that if YOU did state this, you are the only
one3 and remember I do have authority to adjust your draft budget next year. Well get more into the survey as we go
through.

For now, its time for the main event. Its time to get your individual team reports, so here we go.

3 Yes, all 3 out of 7 of you

Midwest 11 and Penn Douche 2017 Midseason Report
Mid-Season Reports

Luke is in first place and couldnt be more excited about it. I compiled a macro of all Lukes comments in the league this
year to illustrate his excitement:

Lukes Comments:

Good to see Luke happy about his roaring start. Seriously, are you even able to speak? I think its time for us all to realize
that Luke is really just a bot and that bot is beating us all. I blame Elon Musk.

Kuney is in 2nd place. This is not a typo.

Every blind squirrel finds a nut occasionally, but it would be unfair and quite frankly a bit rude to apply this comparison
to Kuneys success this year. More appropriately: Every blind, crippled, drugged up and beaten senseless squirrel might
once in a bazillion years accidentally trip over its crippled stupid self and land drooling face first into an already shelled
nut.

Again, no disrespect intended. I apologize to any blind squirrels that may have taken offense.

Kuney obviously is still Kuney and still sucks despite his lucky start. Hes been asking me for weeks when the report was
coming out. This makes sense, because usually midseason for Kuney is after the noon games on week 1. The only reason
he is even doing well this year is because he got lucky on Kareem Hunt. And Melvin Gordon. And DeAndre Hopkins. And
Zach Ertz. His overall record for his Yahoo Fantasy Football career is 59-60 which technically and literally by
mathematicians around the world, makes him a loser. But you already knew that. Thanks to Kuneys hot start this year,
his overall standing of 59 60 went from incredibly suck to incredibly averageminus one.4

But, with a 6-2 record you may be wondering what Kuneys odds of making the playoffs are. Well, according to
FantasyPros, who by the way, has no idea this is KUNEY, were talking about, has him at a 99% chance of making it this
year.

4 As of the time I wrote this and will not be adjusting

Midwest 11 and Penn Douche 2017 Midseason Report

(0%)

However, my fact-skimming team and history tells us a different story. Here is a total of all the times Kuney has made
the playoffs in this league. That divided by the number of years hes been in the league nets us with these official playoff
odds for Kuney5:

You get the point. I think thats about enough ragging on Kuney for this year.

5 white sliver line is also on the miss playoffs side

Midwest 11 and Penn Douche 2017 Midseason Report
No, its not. Lets look at the results of all of his shitty6 fantasy football teams over the years.

Kuneys Shitty Teams

Survival leagues dont count for shit of course and every fantasy football year resulted in Kuney sucking balls. And if you
think Im being too hard on Kuney, you can understand why by looking at the trend in his team names. Can you say
Inferiority Complex? Honestly, the Fuck Jeffafas and otherwise Jeff Sucks names are all good and fun but your 2015
team name (to which I will not utter) is bad form and I hope you die slowly by a 1000 swords only to be re-spawned at
the bottom of an overdue for cleaning port-a-poty being occupied by one Mr. Fat Bastard.

Also regarding his choice of team names, its one thing to brag in repeated years about not being in last place. Its
another thing to do this in a league that includes Chris Nunez.

Kuney, honestly, even if you somehow win this year, your historical record of putridity will assure your Overall
Performance (top right of Kuneys Shitty Teams) to remain at right in-between AMETEUR and ALL STAR from now till
forever more. You truly, unequivocally suck beyond any fathom of hope and you will never ever be any more than
average. Minus one.

Well, now that Kuney has enough insight to gear him up for the second half of the year, we can move on to Miller. Miller
may be in 3rd place but he is atop the power rankings thanks in large part to Leonard Fournette. Its been a really good
year for Miller, but luckily for him, I have some advice that I GUARANTEE will help him maintain his dominance. Usually,
for such valuable advice as this, I charge heavily and provide the advice through an 800 number on a recorded line being
read by standard New York accent guy. But, to expedite the process, Ill provide it all here. For FREE.

Millers strategy has been very obvious and its been working nonetheless get as many players on his team named
Thomas. Hence the team name. Furthermore, if you didnt know, Millers middle name is even Thomas so this all starts

6 so, all
Midwest 11 and Penn Douche 2017 Midseason Report
to makes sense. My patent-pending7 algorithm has returned some real sleepers that Miller needs to rush to the wire
RIGHT NOW and get.

Super Proprietary Algorithm of Thomas Named Sleepers For Miller (#SPATNSFM):

So, Miller, you already have two of them on this list and Luke has one as well. Heres the plan. Three of the available
Thomasi are tight ends. Which is a real dilemma because we only get one flex spot. My advice is to go for both of the
Miami Dolphin ones. Its called diversification. You work in finance so I know you get it. If one of Miamis tight ends
really blows, the other will be sure to line up in his place and sniff pay dirt8.

Id also nab Thomas Sperbeck. OK, so maybe he hasnt yet scored a point yet or whatever but think of the team name
opportunities here. Alex Sperbeck is sweet and simple, or you could go a little dirtier with Come on Sperbeck!. But
on second thought, you are definitely going to need to get Buffalo tight end Logan Thomas for the rights to an even
more solid team name: Log-an Sperbeck.

But were not done yet. Lastly, you need to strike up talks with Luke and wheel and deal for Rawls. This is going to be
particularly challenging given that, as we established, Luke is unable to talk. If youre able to pull it off though, you can
then call yourself a true Sensi with the ultimate team name: Rawls Up and Log-an Sperbeck.

Ok. If you didnt think that was funny you can go fuck yourself. These team names may not have been sperbeck, but I
tried.

Now Miller, to the untrained eye, it might appear that my proprietary advice may be an obvious attempt to tank your
team so that I have a chance to make the playoffs, but I can assure you9

Speaking of Thomasi:

7 #PP
8 Cocaine
9 Note to PR staff please insert a believable assurance
Midwest 11 and Penn Douche 2017 Midseason Report

No Thomas. I havent forgiven you.

I know Thomas is a Stranger Things fan so Im going to put this in a way he can understand. I hope the Demigorgen takes
you and a particular individual named in the plural as Kuneys 2015 team name to the up-side down forced to hand
bathe a naked and semi-aroused Harvey Weinstein.

Thomas success could not be explained by the draft.

As you can see, his picks are pretty bad. Evans has been
meh as has Lamar Miller. Pryor has been the bust of the
year and Montgomery is injured. Sure Gronk has been
great and McKinnon was a great pick, but he dropped him.
Luckily for Thomas, he was able to pick him up later.

Thomas also picked up Dak Prescott and JuJu Schuster and

an emerging Mohammad Sanu. So all in all, things are
going well for Thomas and will be until he gets his next
paper cut and is taken away by the Demigorgen.

Sleep tight.

(It appears the fantasy Gods woke up from their

hibernation a month early because usually they wait til the
last second to pull the tablecloth from under the Jeffalo
Bills before they could get their Jeffalo snout over the Super
Bowl. And as you can see, Jeffalo Bills alter-ego FuckEvry1&Everything not only stretches Yahoos character count for a
team name to its max, but has made its inevitable 2017 appearance a bit early this year. Its been an absolute week
from hell. Basically ever since I finalized the report. What in the actual fuck happened!?

Thats right another story time:

Midwest 11 and Penn Douche 2017 Midseason Report

Ages and ages ago, the Jeffalo Bills back when they were the Jeffalo Bills10 made some critical moves after
undergoing a realistic internal team evaluation of mediocrity due to reasons for which you will later read. I knew the
Jeffalos were in need of help if I wanted to make the playoffs. So I proactively devised a plan to fix the glaring spots in
my team. First, I used my FAAB liberally as I knew I needed to earlier on to get in the race. I spent heavy on the best
fantasy quarterback perhaps ever for the time when he had two working acls. I also took Fuller under the radar and they
double-handedly brought the Jeffalos back to prominence. They alone could guarantee a playoff appearance, but I
needed more help to ensure legit Super Bowl aspirations.

Then the trades of two of my top players (Benjamin and Ajayi) of which you will also read about, put my team up in the
air. Were the trades a good thing? I thought maybe but was not sure. It was too much risk to leave up to a universe, and
if you are the Jeffalo Bills, the universe is not something you can quite depend being on your side to leave things to. So
more work needed to be done. Then Zeek ruling #423,227 came down and I went all in on my $55 faab for Morris. I knew
Bhupen would be in the running and with him having only $54, if I didnt get Morris, neither would he. Alas, I acquired
Morris to help bolster my squad.

But I couldnt help but see one more potential move. With a legendary QB/WR combo in Watson and Fuller, and given
the fact that Fuller just destroyed Nunez last week, I knew Nunez would be willing to start thinking about next year as I
keep my aim on this. Although I love Fuller, I knew his production was too insane to not regress to the mean. Even after
four out of four weeks of leading the league in total average points which again you will soon read. Anyway, there Chris
was, vulnerable and foggy headed and in Kevin Spacey fashion I dealt Chris Fuller, cash for next years draft for Gurley.
Although this trade will also help me for next year, as I am surely keeping Gurley, it was designed to make a play for this
year. That was the missing piece. It was all there. All was setup. My plan was in motion.

Then it happened:

10 Like, three days ago

Midwest 11 and Penn Douche 2017 Midseason Report
While in a conference I got the screenshot message from Kuney, whom I hate more than words allot, that Watson tore
his acl. Losing a player of that caliber is too much to bear. Although I ran into other bad luck, as you damn well know you
will be reading about, this was the 2017 spear to the Jeffalos.

Oh, you think the story ends there? Well, adding insult to injury11 the following morning I find out that Zeek ruling
#423,228 was announced making him eligible to play and leaving me not only spending that much money on Morris, but
also not even being able to afford TJ Maxx clearance racks for the rest of the year.

Just when you think Heetabh is safely able to say he suffered the worst luck of the year with the David Johnson injury, the
Jeffalo Bills rise up to the occasion and proclaim: hold my beer.

- fade to black

In light of all this, I was recently informed during Thursday night

football by Yahoos astute tracking team as shown by the screenshot
to the left that there are several potential issues with my team in
which they clearly felt I was unaware of and that I should review.
Youll also notice google reminding me of my conference at
Paradise Pier hotel that day where I was forcibly removed from
jumping off said pier.

Indeed, the obligatory annual fuck the Jeffalo Bills is in full swing and
here is my original team report, potentially edited, by incorporating
strikethroughs and some follow-up comments in italics as youve no
doubt been noticing to differentiate from the pre JeffaloBillsgedon
version. It already feels like ages ago I wrote that. So here it is, in its
original tone and with all its ruined jokes. Fuck You. Fuck everyone.
Fuck everything.

My record is 4-4 this year.

Listen, Im not going to sugar coat this. Im still better than all of you bitch ass peasants. Year after year, I come into the
midseason report with an 8-1, 7-1 like record as a man among piss ants. But this year, I thought Id take a different
approach and get those Ls out of the way before playoff time. I decided Ill wait to show my cards until the chips are on
the table. Now, I know what youre thinking. And yes. This is really going to tarnish my amazing all-time winning record
of 61-38, but itll be worth it in the end. After all, Im not one to focus on things like that anyway 12.

This might appear to the unskilled dimwits of the league to be a big excuse for a mediocre start. It might also appear as
much to those of you not named Nunez. But thats what makes you lesser of a fantasy player, and of a man. You dont
see that tsunamis only reveal themselves at the very end. That big possums walk late. Yes, theres a plan in place. And
as you might have noticed, things are coming (snapping) into motion. Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom to make
you realize things need to change. Unless youre Nunez. My lightbulb moment came after receiving this kind offer from
Yahoo:

11 To me, not to Watson

12 62-38 now after last weeks results
Midwest 11 and Penn Douche 2017 Midseason Report

Dick move Yahoo. But my team is on the rise. Not sure if you knew this, but I got Deshaun Watson from the free agent
market by using $41 FAAB dollars to outbid the next highest bidder at $35. As you can see, my prowess at evaluating the
market for the cream of the crop and knowing how to not overpay at the same time is a subtle nuance thats hard to
teach.

Although I did an amazing job at navigating the auction draft by snagging Travis Kelce, and uhIm sure other players
too, I ran into unbelievably bad luck with injuries, and adverse effects from the canes 13 in Miami. You see, when you
draft two starting players (an RB1 and WR2) from the same team, you go into the year with the reasonable amount of
confidence that their O-line coach isnt snorting a first down chains worth of cocaine lines while confessing his love to a
stripper via video selfie. Especially if that coach isnt even Bobby Petrino.

But Im not one to make excuses for things like this, or losing Allen Robinson and Chris Carson for the year from injury.
And also injuries to Devante Parker. And Willie Snead. Im too busy working the waiver wire and making totally fair and
consensual trades to Chris14 to keep pressing onwards that I dont even remember the bad luck I ran into. I even forgot
to mention Marcus Mariotas injury that caused him to be bad and miss games this year, which also contributed to my
freak losses. But instead of dwell on what I lost, I took water and made it into wine (Fat Bastards Port-a-poty deposit) by
replacing Mariota with another quarterback whom you might have heard of. His name is Deshaun Watson.

Im not telling you anything you dont know. In a recent scientifically validated survey, 100 percent of the league voted I
made the free agent pickup of the year as proven by this chart:

By now, Im sure your thinking and I couldnt agree more Jeff you are selling yourself a little short. Indeed. I forgot to
mention my 1b pickup of the year, Will Fuller V. You see, I remember how quick and good he was last year and with
Watson coming on I made sure to pick up Fuller before he played his first game of the 2017 year. By doing this, he cost

13 Both of the hurri and co varieties

14
Midwest 11 and Penn Douche 2017 Midseason Report
me zero FAAB dollars which gave me the opportunity to waste $42 of it on a particular aforementioned worthless sack
of Your Fantasy Shop Player of the Week.

Do you remember about that time when I said Im better than you at fantasy football? I do. It was on the first line of this
report. Lets look at how great these two stud waiver pickups have been.

Do you even remember who the Texans quarterback was before Watson? I do. It was: It Doesnt Fucking Matter.
Deshaun Watson is the first rookie QB to put up 30 points 4 games in a row and to have at least 4 touchdowns in three
games. And its only the middle of the year. And he didnt even play the first half of week one. You know who did? I do.
It Doesnt Fucking Matter did.

Will Fuller has averaged 17.7 points per game played. The next closest to him is DeAndre Hopkins with an average of
12.8 points per game played. Thats still pretty good. Maybe you should evaluate your quarterback situation and look
into whoever is throwing Hopkins the ball. It might not be to the best scoring receiver, like Will Fuller, but second best
must be good too. I wonder who that quarterback is? Ill tell you who its not. Its not It Doesnt Fucking Matter.

As your Commish, it would be unseemly of me to focus solely on the positives of my team. And how I was able to get
Being impartial is important and I also want to acknowledge the free agent pickups that you felt were the best pickups
(after all of mine) in the midseason survey. Particularly:

and:

Speaking of Jay Cutler, lets get his reaction to the whole offensive line coach cocaine thing:
Midwest 11 and Penn Douche 2017 Midseason Report

Thanks Jay.

Anyway, the Jeffalo Bills (FuckEvry1&Everything) are back to the force they always have been anyway and are ready to
destroy you bitches down the stretch.

Wait, did you think I was done talking about my team?

Remember when I said the tidal wave only rises at the end? Well
now that Jay Ajayi has been traded from tweekerami to Philly, his
true form can now be revealed. Kelvin Benjamin also was traded
as it appears my team is being juggled around like bowling pins.

I think the Bills got a great deal on this one though. Its not every
day you can acquire a WR capable of putting up 99 yards on his
bye week as shown to the left.

This colossal reformatting of my team was all, of course, a part of

my plan. Ill say it again. Never play your cards before the chips
are on the table.

We havent even gotten to Travis Kelce who is one of this years three elites at the tight end position. Zach Ertz is
obviously going to lose half his production to Ajayi now and we all know Gronk is one overweight stripper away from
throwing out his back, so basically Kelce is the only one that matters.

But the players on my team are only part of the story. Im basically the Bill Belichek of this league 15 and can do anything I
want at any given time 16. Sounds like a lot of talk, right? Well lets take a field trip to the record books and see what we
can find:

15 During the regular season

16 During the regular season
Midwest 11 and Penn Douche 2017 Midseason Report

Much like Belichecks undefeated regular season, I destroyed everyone during the season and got unlucky in the Super
Bowl due to a freak statistical variance issue. This record will likely stand till the end of time 17.

In closing, I cant help but feel that Ive overshadowed something in this section here. I have failed to mention that I am
8-0 in my other fantasy league as well that I share a team with Kuney. So all in all I am 12-4 which makes for a great
football record and first round bye. In all honestly though, I cant take all the credit for the success weve had in that
league this year. You see, its also a keeper league so the majority of our success is due primarily from the amazing draft
picks I made in prior years. And thats what being a good teammate is all about: Honesty and humility.

Whos up next? Right, Arvin. Its not like me to bring up the past but, do you remember that time when Arvin drafted a
kicker in the 6th round? Well, that would have been funnier if you idiots didnt let this pompous newbie stroll in and win
the league in his inaugural year. I take zero of the blame for it. Had Jonathan Stewart not ran a long 30 yard run at the
end of my playoff game with Berry, I would have made the Super Bowl and put up over 130 points to slay Slayed. Again,
not to bring up the past, but this was the second year in a row I lost in the semis on a late 4th quarter play.

You may have noticed how quiet Matt Arvin has been in the chat this year. As you can see, the tides have turned on our
champion and during this quiet spell, he is feared to be in a bit of a depression as evidenced below:

Cheer up buddy. (actually, save me a spot on the depression couch) The good news is that now since I live with you, you
wont need to pay any shipping costs for the trophy.

17 The winning streak record, not the me not winning a Super Bowl record
Midwest 11 and Penn Douche 2017 Midseason Report

The best excuse Adam could come up with for his poor performance was that he was on his honeymoon for the draft.
Clearly, he didnt even try to come up with a good excuse. Lets look at how that auto auction draft worked out for him:

Adam had an equivalent of two first round picks this year. With just a
couple injury bug issues with Rodgers.and Odell.and Olsen.and
Edelman, he did well with McCoy and

Im not one to bring up poor decisions of the past, but we sure gave
Arvin a hard time for drafting a kicker in the 6th round last year. Adam
used this cautionary tale to avoid similar ridicule by waiting until the
14th round to snag the consensus number one overall retired kicker in
the league, Sebastian Janikowski.

But Adam is not one to make excuses. He knows he messed up this

year. And last year. And every year. But being the trooper that he is,
he will still keep fighting till the bitter end of the season. Which the
same cant be said for Chris Nunezs 2015 week 16 outing as shown
below:

Chris Pouty Boy Sitting of All Players Record

This just goes to show you that if you run out of material to make fun of someone in their report, you can always depend
on there being ample material on Nunez to use as a filler. Theres probably a good taking a knee comparison about
Kaepernick to be made here, but lets be real, when it comes to taking a knee, Nunez takes both.

Heetabh is a doctor and clearly doesnt have time to do his real job of
playing fantasy football. Lets look and see what went wrong here:

As mentioned at the beginning of this report, six 15th round picks is

usually not the recipe for success. Heetabh effectively flushed the first
pick of the draft down the toilet and traded away most of his early round
picks in order to obtain the rights to flush that first pick down the toilet.

But before you get to thinking Heetabh bought a Lamborghini early only
to use it to shop at TJ Maxx and Aldi later, remember that he broke his
Lamborghini, so he was actually taking the bus. I dont see things getting
better. Maybe keep your second job.
Midwest 11 and Penn Douche 2017 Midseason Report

If you have yet to get your teams report at this point 18, find your nearest retail store and get yourself a brand of your
choice gallon of bleach to guzzle down because Chris Nunez is up before you. (Id give you mine, but its already gone)

Chris started 0 5 this year. You know those commercials where the tagline is when youre a (whatever), you
(whatever), its what you do19. Well when you are Nunez, you start 0 5. Its what you do. Poor Chris has scored the
third most points in the league this year and yet finds himself in 10th place. But Chris realized this and knew he needed
to consider making a change in personnel to better reflect that 0 5 record.

You wont be surprised to find that Bhupen was yet again the one to attempt brutal trade assault on the scantily dressed
Nunez. And we all know that Bhupen has a history of making shitty trade offers only to drop those players offered
immediately following denial of said shitty trade (for a refresher: see page 5 of last years masterfully renown midseason
report: https://www.scribd.com/document/329069194/2016-Midseason-Report).

Welp. Bhupen struck again this year with his familiar victim:

As you can see above, Bhupen was trying to flip Samaje Perine and Allen Hurns for, good god: it doesnt fucking
matter!20

18 Except you Bhupen

19 For Example: When youre the Jeffalo Bills, you get royally fucked. Its what you do.
20 Quarterback Houston Texans
Midwest 11 and Penn Douche 2017 Midseason Report
Luckily, not even Chris was dumb enough to take this offer. Although I can only assume he considered it. Talks went
dead that October 17th night. Bhupen responded promptly the next morning with the following drops:

When you are Bhupen, you try to trade rape Nunez, its what you do.

Berry sucks.

My dad really sucks. (Even with half my team deceased or otherwise screwed over as you may have read a snippet about,
Im still a 10-point favorite on him this week) But clearly, as based on his team name, he is doing so for political and
British comedy type reasons. In researching his team for this report I clicked his team page to look at what was going on:

Dads Yahoo Team Page:

Ive seen worse. Remember though, Nunez has been in this league for years.

Whenever Jenny asks me to take the garbage out at home, I cant help but call my dad and ask if hes OK with me
making a roster move for him. Dad won the Championship two years ago so its been twice as long of a drought as the
Midwest 11 and Penn Douche 2017 Midseason Report
Chicago Cubs. He may want to consider a fire sale and get something for whatevers worth anything left of his hot
garbage team. Id take Tom Brady off his hands (period, end of sentence), but for those of you who dont know, I have
Deshaun Watson. Deshaun Watson is really good. And I have him on my team. And you dont.

Super Bowl Prediction

Jeffalo Bills (FuckEvery1&Everything) over the Luck of the Thomas

MVP: Deshaun Watson

Runner-up MVP: Thomas Sperbeck

- Your Honorable Commish