1hassessment1

17519348_102096_1HAssessm
ent1
by James Perrett
FILE 17519348_102096_1HASSESSMENT 1.DOCX (7.88M)

T IME SUBMIT T ED 01-APR-2016 07:11PM WORD COUNT 2200
SUBMISSION ID 652864746 CHARACT ER COUNT 14418
17519348_102096_1HAssessment1
GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS
Instructor
36
You have done a good job of addressing all
aspects of the assessment, making good
connections between some of the
recommendations of the researchers and your
modif ications to the lesson plan. I am not exactly
sure how the game relates to the smoking
lesson, but both lesson and game are well
/0 explained.
In terms of f urther improving your academic

writing, try and f ocus on themes more than the
details of what the researchers' did. Evaluate
their methods but f ocus on what they learnt. In
terms of balance, try and make sure that
equivalent weighting in marks is reciprocated in
equivalent attention in your assessment. Also
work on making your writing more concise, and
look up possessive apostrophes.
PAGE 1
PAGE 2
QM possessive apostrophe
T here should be a possessive apostrophe here. T he Uni T une In app has a good section on
apostrophes.
Comment 1
T his is not the right choice f or the context.
QM possessive apostrophe
T here should be a possessive apostrophe here. T he Uni T une In app has a good section on
apostrophes.
QM quote page number

When you quote you need to ref erence the author and also provide the page number.
PAGE 3
QM no possessive apostrophe
A possessive apostrophe is not necessary here. T he Uni T une In app has a good section on
apostrophes.
PAGE 4
PAGE 5
PAGE 6
PAGE 7
PAGE 8
RUBRIC: 10 20 9 6 : ASSIGNMENT #1 36 / 50
DESCRIPT ION 7 / 10
Provides a clear and coherent description of the chosen educational issue, highlighting its relevance f or
teaching practice. /10
FAIL Lacks description of chosen educational issue and/or f ails to highlight relevance
(0) f or teaching practice.
PASS Provides a basic description of chosen educational issue and relevance f or

(5) teaching practice.
PASS Provides a basic description of chosen educational issue and relevance f or

(6) teaching practice.
CREDIT Clearly describes chosen educational issue and overviews relevance f or teaching
(6.50) practice.
CREDIT Clearly describes chosen educational issue and overviews relevance f or teaching
(7) practice.
DISTINCTION Concisely and coherently describes chosen educational issue and convincingly
(7.50) supports its relevance f or teaching practice.
DISTINCTION Concisely and coherently describes chosen educational issue and convincingly
(8) supports its relevance f or teaching practice.
HIGH DISTINCTION Chosen educational issue and its relevance f or teaching practice are engagingly
(8.50) and accurately highlighted at the outset.
(9) and accurately highlighted at the outset.
(10) and accurately highlighted at the outset.
CRIT READING 7 / 10
Demonstrates critical reading of chosen article, highlighting articles justif ication f or recommendations.
/10
FAIL Lacks evidence of critical reading of the chosen article. Does not discuss
(0) author(s) process of moving f rom research question to recommendations f or
practice.
practice.
practice.
PASS Some critical reading apparent. Attempts to critically track the author(s) research
(5) process. Identif ies articles use of research f indings to justif y recommendations.
PASS Some critical reading apparent. Attempts to critically track the author(s) research
(6) process. Identif ies articles use of research f indings to justif y recommendations.
CREDIT Sound critical reading attempted. Reasonably attempts to critically track the
(6.50) author(s) research process by highlighting and evaluating elements of the article.
Articulates process by which research f indings are used to justif y
recommendations.
CREDIT Sound critical reading attempted. Reasonably attempts to critically track the
(7) author(s) research process by highlighting and evaluating elements of the article.
Articulates process by which research f indings are used to justif y
recommendations.
DISTINCTION Critical reading of the article is strong and balanced. Good attempt to critically
(7.50) analyse the journal article under evaluation and demonstrates thorough
understanding of the research process by which recommendations are generated.
DISTINCTION Critical reading of the article is strong and balanced. Good attempt to critically
(8) analyse the journal article under evaluation and demonstrates thorough
understanding of the research process by which recommendations are generated.
HIGH DISTINCTION Evaluation of the various elements of the research process as articulated in the
(8.50) article is excellent. Evidence of a strong, critical understanding of the process by
which recommendations are generated.
(9) article is excellent. Evidence of a strong, critical understanding of the process by
(10) article is excellent. Evidence of a strong, critical understanding of the process by
EDUC ISSUE 7 / 10
Provides clear and coherent description of chosen learning activity, highlighting links to chosen
educational issue. /10
FAIL Lacks evidence of thoughtf ul selection of learning activity. Links to chosen

(0) educational issue are absent or not well-articulated.


PASS Provides a basic description of chosen learning activity. Mentions educational

(5) issue, but struggles to make explicit links.
PASS Provides a basic description of chosen learning activity. Mentions educational
(6) issue, but struggles to make explicit links.
CREDIT Provides a clear, straightf orward description of learning activity, making strategic
(6.50) links throughout to the chosen educational issue and to the KLA more broadly.
CREDIT Provides a clear, straightf orward description of learning activity, making strategic
(7) links throughout to the chosen educational issue and to the KLA more broadly.
DISTINCTION Provides a rich description of learning activity, including screen shots and imagery
(7.50) where appropriate. Convincingly argues relevancy of chosen educational issue to
learning activity and the KLA more broadly, using supplementary research texts.
DISTINCTION Provides a rich description of learning activity, including screen shots and imagery
(8) where appropriate. Convincingly argues relevancy of chosen educational issue to
learning activity and the KLA more broadly, using supplementary research texts.
HIGH DISTINCTION Provides an excellent description of learning activity, including screen shots and
(8.50) imagery where appropriate. Demonstrates sophisticated use of supplementary
research texts to argue the relevancy of chosen educational issue to learning
activity and their KLA more broadly.
(9) imagery where appropriate. Demonstrates sophisticated use of supplementary
(10) imagery where appropriate. Demonstrates sophisticated use of supplementary
SUPP REVISION 7.50 / 10

Supports revisions/additions to learning activity using critical understanding of chosen article. /10
FAIL Links between suggested revisions/additions and recommendations f rom the

(0) chosen article are absent or not well-articulated.


PASS Provides basic links between suggested revisions/additions to the chosen learning
(5) activity and recommendations f rom the chosen article.
PASS Provides basic links between suggested revisions/additions to the chosen learning
(6) activity and recommendations f rom the chosen article.
CREDIT Links between revisions/additions to the chosen learning activity and

(6.50) recommendations f rom the chosen article are well-established and clearly
articulated.
CREDIT Links between revisions/additions to the chosen learning activity and

(7) recommendations f rom the chosen article are well-established and clearly
articulated.
DISTINCTION Coherently justif ies revisions/additions to the learning activity using the chosen
(7.50) article. Strategically employs supplementary research texts to strengthen this
justif ication. Some attempt to look outwards to consider implications f or practice
beyond this single activity.
DISTINCTION Coherently justif ies revisions/additions to the learning activity using the chosen
(8) article. Strategically employs supplementary research texts to strengthen this
justif ication. Some attempt to look outwards to consider implications f or practice
beyond this single activity.
HIGH DISTINCTION Provides highly insightf ul and cohesive revisions/additions to the learning activity
(8.50) using article recommendations and supplementary research texts as justif ication
f or these changes. Acknowledges the wide-ranging possibilities and af f ordances
of such considerations across their chosen KLA.
(9) using article recommendations and supplementary research texts as justif ication
(10) using article recommendations and supplementary research texts as justif ication
PRESENT /APA 7.50 / 10

Presents work prof essionally, with clear academic writing and within the word limit and uses APA
ref erencing style correctly, including competently integrating evidence./10
FAIL Work lacks structure; little evidence paper has been edited; terminology
(0) inappropriate; f requent spelling/ typographic errors. Poor paraphrasing; over-
reliance on quotes; no or inaccurate ref erence list and poor in-text ref erencing;
not submitted to T urnitin or high level of matches.
PASS Generally clear; paper/presentation has introduction, body and conclusion;

(5) developed with students voice; sentences coherent and grammatically correct;
within word/time length; may have some typographic and /or spelling errors.
Generally accurate APA ref erencing; submitted to T urnitin; originality report
detects some insignif icant matches. Some appropriate use of evidence but needs
to be better integrated.
PASS Generally clear; paper/presentation has introduction, body and conclusion;

(6) developed with students voice; sentences coherent and grammatically correct;
within word/time length; may have some typographic and /or spelling errors.
Generally accurate APA ref erencing; submitted to T urnitin; originality report
detects some insignif icant matches. Some appropriate use of evidence but needs
to be better integrated.
CREDIT Well-structured and coherent text; ef f ective grammatical expression; adheres to

(6.50) word/time length; uses appropriate terminology; may have minor typographic and
/or spelling errors. Mostly accurate APA ref erencing; submitted to T urnitin; low
percentage f or originality report. Analysis well developed with students voice and
supported by literature and research.
CREDIT Well-structured and coherent text; ef f ective grammatical expression; adheres to

(7) word/time length; uses appropriate terminology; may have minor typographic and
/or spelling errors. Mostly accurate APA ref erencing; submitted to
T urnitin; low percentage f or originality report. Analysis well developed with
students voice and supported by literature and research. 
DISTINCTION Clear and concise structure; strengthened by relevant research; grammar and
(7.50) syntax mostly correct; cohesive text within word/time length; discriminating use of
appropriate vocabulary; f ew typographic or spelling errors. Consistently
accurate APA ref erencing; competent integration of evidence, low percentage f or
T urnitin; original work with insignif icant matches. 
DISTINCTION Clear and concise structure; strengthened by relevant research; grammar and
(8) syntax mostly correct; cohesive text within word/time length; discriminating use of
appropriate vocabulary; f ew typographic or spelling errors. Consistently
accurate APA ref erencing; competent integration of evidence, low percentage f or
T urnitin; original work with insignif icant matches. 
HIGH DISTINCTION Well-structured paper or innovative presentation; explicitly identif ies the key
(8.50) issues; cohesive, grammatically correct structure; very f ew typographic or spelling
errors. Consistently accurate APA ref erencing; highly competent
integration of evidence, submitted to T urnitin; original work with insignif icant
matches 
(9) issues; cohesive, grammatically correct structure; very f ew typographic or spelling
matches 
(10) issues; cohesive, grammatically correct structure; very f ew typographic or spelling
matches

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FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

In terms of f urther improving your academic

QM quote page number

PASS Provides a basic description of chosen educational issue and relevance f or

PASS Provides a basic description of chosen educational issue and relevance f or

FAIL Lacks evidence of thoughtf ul selection of learning activity. Links to chosen

FAIL Lacks evidence of thoughtf ul selection of learning activity. Links to chosen

FAIL Lacks evidence of thoughtf ul selection of learning activity. Links to chosen

PASS Provides a basic description of chosen learning activity. Mentions educational

SUPP REVISION 7.50 / 10

FAIL Links between suggested revisions/additions and recommendations f rom the

FAIL Links between suggested revisions/additions and recommendations f rom the

FAIL Links between suggested revisions/additions and recommendations f rom the

CREDIT Links between revisions/additions to the chosen learning activity and

CREDIT Links between revisions/additions to the chosen learning activity and

PRESENT /APA 7.50 / 10

PASS Generally clear; paper/presentation has introduction, body and conclusion;

PASS Generally clear; paper/presentation has introduction, body and conclusion;

CREDIT Well-structured and coherent text; ef f ective grammatical expression; adheres to

CREDIT Well-structured and coherent text; ef f ective grammatical expression; adheres to

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