Daniela Ramirez

Professor Jen Byrd

WGST 2310

3 December 2017

I rather be okay than happy.

This simple statement is something Ive never felt more connected to these past few

months. I havent felt genuinely happy in so long, but its not something I worry over. I know a

lot of people are feeling the same way which makes it a bit more comforting. Being happy and

being okay are two very different things. I am more familiar with being okay because its what

Im feeling if Im not already feeling anxious or sad. Being okay is just being okay. I know it

sounds almost childish to say but its true. Its almost like a nothingness. Since I cant be happy

right now, I will settle with being okay.

Coming up with a single sentence that describes myself is probably one of the hardest

things Ill do all week. I am a lot. Condensing myself into one sentence is a task that took me

about five hours to do. The part where you had to think of your current state of being without

going past six words was definitely the hardest part. I almost felt like it should be deeper because

of all the things Ive gone through these past couple of months, but this sentence is all Im

feeling and all I am at the moment. I truly rather be okay than being something I know cant

achieve right now. Being happy is not a feeling I get often and when it comes its immediately

taken away.

When someone reads my six-word memoir I dont want them to think that I am some

fake-deep sad person. I dont even want to leave them with questions about what I am feeling. I

want them to reflect on themselves. Are they happy? Or is it just that feeling of being okay? If
they are truly happy I want to know how they do it. But if they want to analyze me with this

quote Im not going to stop them. Maybe they would like to know the difference I think between

being happy and being okay.

The most important thing Ive done in writing this is analyzing myself. I really reflected

on my current state of mind and how certain things have shaped it. I also found a way to put

what Im feeling into words. Which is something I am not very good at. I think reflecting on this

short sentence has also been a form of great self-expression. This semester I have lost my interest

in writing because of a class I was taking, but this assignment just reignited that warm feeling I

get when I really like what Im writing. It almost feels like what Im writing actually matters. I

really did need this.

There are many aspects of my identity that I put into this. I put my own personal thoughts

and feelings into a six-word sentence. That is something I never thought I could do. There was a

reason I could never keep a diary and that was because I have a very hard time expressing my

thoughts and feelings. I always felt like someone was going to read it and use my own

vulnerabilities against me. So to put everything in one sentence saves a lot of time and spares me

of a very embarrassing moment. I even put my own fear of oversharing into it because I was

relieved when I saw that we had to describe ourselves in six words. You really cannot reveal a

lot with six words. At least I cant. I thought it was really to include these thoughts and feelings

because it provided a little bit insight into my mind which is something I dont do very often. For

some reason people really want me to open up but this six-word sentence is the best thing I can

do without oversharing.
 This memoir reveals my state of mind at this very moment. It reveals the state of mind

Ive had for a while now. A year ago this would have definitely not been my memoir because I

was in a really bad place this time last year. It would have been way more deep and full of angst.

I know throughout the semester I have been pretty quiet and can seem apathetic or

unapproachable, but I promise you its because Im going through the thoughts in my own head.

And this is what I dug up, that I am just okay, not happy.