Professional Documents
Culture Documents
CHAPTER III
Widow: An Autobiography
The reconstitution of gender that took place in the nineteenth century recontoured the
figure of the companionate and educated wife, as seen in the preceding chapter. Simultaneously,
the nationalist discourse on gender also reconfigured the obverse of the faithful wife - the chaste
widow, in order to reckon with the charges of inhumanity laid at the door of Hindu orthodoxy by
the colonial and missionary rhetoric of the times. Many attempts have been made to explain and
also explain away the miserable condition of the upper-caste widow. Her plight is at times
attributed to a male phobia of the lascivious wife who, to get rid of her husband, might easily
poison him. Manu is convinced about the intrinsically fickle nature of women who hate husbands
and are bent on giving themselves to even the ugliest of men. The wretched state of widowhood
is therefore seen as a deterrent to potential husband-killing.1 The absolute control and tyranny
exerted over the wife under the guise of pativrata dharma too is seen as engendering a male
terror of the potential for retribution that women had when compelled to abide by stringent codes
of wifehood. This fear is allayed by the harshest of punishments as a deterrent reserved for
upper-caste women in the symbol of the abhorred widow. As Judith Butler says, it is by first
creating a dreaded “zone of uninhabitability” for “abject” and excluded beings that the limit of
the subject’s domain and claim to autonomy and to life is constituted.2 This can be easily
In order to comprehend the ideology behind the institutionalisation of the hateful figure
of the upper-caste widow, it is necessary to turn to the Shastras that enjoin enforced widowhood
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on Brahmin women. Also, with regard to the current study, the consolidation of the caste
exclusivity of Brahmins through the harshest of measures reserved for their widows during the
Peshwa government’s rule and its subsequent repercussions during colonial rule too need to be
explored. Folk tales, vratas and festivals, literature, discursive writings of the nineteenth century
along with a glance at the history of the times help us to locate the imbrication of the highly
debated figure of the nineteenth century Brahmin widow in the discourse of nationalism and
colonialism.
Widowhood can be better understood in the context of the various prescriptions and
proscriptions of the Shastras. It is often believed that “just as a snake-charmer forcibly draws out
from a hole a snake, so a chaste wife snatches away her husband’s life from the messengers of
death and reaches heaven with her husband.”3 A study of the vratas and festivals of Hindu
women along with an analysis of the folk tales and oral culture of Maharashtrian women
consolidates the view that ensuring the longevity of the husband’s life is vested in the chastity,
steadfastness and devotion of the pativrata. Dr. Jayant Athavale notes the observance of
Mangalagouri by newly wed girls on every Tuesday in the month of Shravart for five to seven
years after marriage which is supposed to ensure the husband’s long life.4 The ritual feeding of a
married woman and exchange of kumkum, glass bangles, mirror and comb5 too show the
anxiety of married women to ward off the spectre of widowhood, burdened as they are
Often treated as ogresses, widows were accused of “eating up” the husband. Ironically,
and without any feeing of contradiction, this allegation, as seen in Shevantibai Nikambe’s novel
Ratanbai could be made by senior widows like Kakubai too, themselves the victims of collective
abhorrence as accursed husband-eaters.6 Folk tales of Maharashtra are replete with the icon of
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the pativrata who wards off widowhood with her piety and exemplary life. In “The Unwanted
Wife”, the pious wife spumed by her husband, is empowered to save his life while on a voyage,
by miraculously saving the sinking ship.7 In “The Story of Mangala Gouri” a woman who is a
devotee of the deity Gowri deflects the potency of a girl’s curse that her daughter should become
a child-widow.8 Thus, a failure to cling on to this auspicious state of maangalya bhagya by the
power of the pativrata, is seen as an indictment of the wife, who now becomes responsible for
the death of the husband. This cardinal sin, to use an inappropriate Christian term, has to be
therefore punished with the most abject of social roles - that of the upper-caste widow,
condemned to either death as a sati or death-in-life, divested of all social respectability. Actual
and perceived inequities within the familial and socio-religious hierarchies were sought to be
countered by wishing widowhood (not death) on the woman seen as a threat. Vidyut Bhagwat
explores, for instance, Eknath’s song about a woman’s exasperated and quite humorous cry to
Added to all this is the belief in the past sinfulness or bad Karma in previous lives that is
punished by widowhood in the present one. This life therefore has to be patiently borne to ensure
a better deal in the next life. Religious expediency capitalises on this notion of guilt for past sins
and skillfully deflects attention from the present life. It also contains the widow’s sexual
potential to disrupt social norms, by making her agonise over the earlier ‘sinful’ life and then pin
her hopes on the next life. Cham Gupta writes about the widow’s sexuality:
What was most valuable to the husband in his lifetime turned into an awesome
menace to his community after his death. Outside the protection of the domestic
identity of the chaste female, the widow represented both an invitation and a
threat. Ascetic widowhood thus remained the highest model.10
Luce Irigaray, in a largely western context, wonders how a woman’s multiple locations of
sexual pleasures can be accommodated within a patriarchy that sees women as a “commodity” or
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an “object of transaction” for male pleasure.11 But the upper-caste wife, whose very existence
was seen solely in terms of her devotion to the husband, could never risk exhibiting any sexual
initiative for her own sake. A good wife had very little sexual autonomy outside the role of the
compliant and sexually accommodative wife, whose prime duty was to facilitate pleasure for the
husband. Such a wife is recognised as 1padminf, or the woman who while enticing her
husband sexually, was also seen as chaste since by doing so, she was only following her dharma
as an ideal wife. The death of the husband/god perforce implied the sexual death of the widow,
who now atoned for her ‘sin’ and repressed her delegitimated sexuality by rigorous and
disciplined austerities, penance, prayers, fasting and abstinence. In analysing the perceived
repression of sexuality in the nineteenth century, Foucault pertinently notes that sex is placed in a
binary system by power, such that the licit is seen in relation to the illicit.13 The laws of
prohibition, which according to Foucault are used by power over sex, can be understood in the
context of the widow for whom sex was forbidden, at least in theory, since the female body now
had access to innumerable ways of sexual pleasure dissociated from the sanitised regulation of
sex in marriage. According to Manu, the widow ought to subsist on flowers, roots and fruits and
never mention the name of a stranger male. She had to show forbearance until her death, observe
vows, be celibate and remain chaste.14 The Vrddha-Harita too is explicit about the ways of
She should give up adorning her hair, chewing betel-nut, wearing perfumes,
flowers, ornaments and dyed clothes, taking food from a vessel of bronze, taking
two meals a day, applying collyrium to her eyes; she should wear a white
garment, should curb her senses, and anger, she should not resort to deceits and
tricks, should be free from laziness and sleep, should be pure and of good
conduct, should always worship Hari, should sleep on the ground at night on a
mat of kusa grass, she should be intent on concentration of mind and on the
company of the good.15
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Such an exhaustive list was calculated to quell the widow’s spirits to such a degree that even if
she desired, she would hardly have enough strength to transgress sexually. The caste exclusivity
of Brahmins resided in the stringent suppression of the upper caste widow’s mind and body and
banishing her to a marginal existence. Gender norms were ruthlessly enforced by the State to
maintain upper-caste dharma during the Peshwai. Uma Chakravarti notes that the last Peshwa,
seen as a debauch who married eleven times inclusive of the one contracted while on the verge
categories of women - the chaste wife whose husband is away on a journey, the adulterous wife,
and the widow. All three are strictly told to abjure ornaments, collyrium, flowers, attractive
clothes, perfumes, chewing of betel and laughing loudly. All three have to emaciate their bodies
by eating less and are expected to give up social interactions. What looms large -in the
background of all these three categories of women is the missing husband to protect whose
sexual monopoly over the wife, all kinds of injunctions have been laid down. What binds these
states of womanhood together is the fear of a radical disruption of the stringent sexual norms
enjoined upon the minds and bodies of women that aid the smooth functioning of a patriarchal,
patrilineal society.
deprivation in the way the widow was reduced to a household drudge, deprived of any real
control over the husband’s share of property, and denied an equitable share of resources
including wholesome food. The collective social schooling of the widow was such that she
internalised notions of inferiority and lived out a life of self-abnegation. Her labour too thus
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came very cheap with minimum maintenance and maximum exploitation. As Charu Gupta
notes, the widow was a “cook and a servant, a nurse and a housekeeper.” Prem Choudhary also
analyses the materialistic basis behind the enforced levirate marriages performed between the
widow and the husband’s brother. This remarriage of convenience, at times to an infant husband,
whom the widow would have to raise first, was often against the will of the widow. It was a neat
closure to the threat of land alienation as well as the loss of the labour of the widow. In short, it
was expedient to harness both the reproductive and productive labour18 of the widow to the cause
of patriliny and patriarchy. As Uma Chakravarti notes of the productive labour of Godubai or
Anandibai in the Karve communal household, widows were quite often treated as a “mobile”
labour force, “shunted” from one household to another in a distant place where their labour was
the widow from being unceremoniously evicted from the affinal home on the slightest pretext
even while they were legally entitled to a vague kind of maintenance. This unstable and
precarious position of widows often left them very vulnerable, with no space they could
destitute widows subsisting on the meagre offerings in temple precincts and left to the sexual
mercy of lecherous religious mendicants.20 Swati Ghosh analyses the institutionalised way in
which many widows in nineteenth century Bengal were deported to pilgrim centres like Benares,
Vrindavan, and Mathura on a meagre monthly allowance, and left to eke out a livelihood by
dubious means. She traces this strategic way of getting rid of this “social eyesore” who was akin
to the prostitute and who indulged in adultery and abortions, to the emergence of nationalist
patriarchy in Bengal. It revolved around the concept of the ‘new woman’ from which the widow
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was excluded.21 This argument about the very convenient way of sending widows into social
oblivion and making them invisible under the pretext of spirituality can be extended, by tracing it
also to the Dayabhaga school of inheritance practised in Bengal wherein the widow was a
shareholder in the affinal property. Banishing her to the periphery in the name of religion was
one way of depriving her of this share, just as coercing her to commit sati had been a century
attached to the very sight of a widow. This “domestic enemy” was often consigned to the
“darker recesses” of the house22 and kept out of mischief. However, it must be observed that
though inauspicious, the widow’s labour within the house and kitchen could still be extracted
from morning to night since, the Shastras, quite conveniently, never include her person as
ritually polluting or impure. What might appear paradoxical in the twin factors of augury and
purity is deftly glossed over by making the widow simultaneously ritually pure and socially
inauspicious. This took care of the toil involved in domestic labour and it also succeeded in
depriving the widow of social status. With no attendant ideas about this inherent contradiction,
the collective scorn of upper caste society was heaped on the widow, who was more inauspicious
and loathsome than the untouchable, yet good enough to slog within the inner domain. Social
guilt, anxiety and culpability for the subhuman condition of the widow can be traced in the
transfer of the feeling of self-abhorrence from the community, to the person of the widow and
can be seen as an attempt to absolve the collective conscience of Brahminic society. According
to the Skanda puranas, the widow is so inauspicious that no success can be had in any
undertaking if one sees her. A “wise man should avoid even their blessings like the poison of a
snake.”23
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Thus a terrible and dreadful image of the widow is an ideological construct that is
calculated to serve as a deterrent to anyone, including widows themselves and men seeking her
society. That even such a monstrous image of the widow might not actually prevent sexual
liaisons was anticipated in strictures that sought to make the widow a self-regulating creature by
invoking piteous pictures of the deceased husband writhing in hell even if she happened to sleep
on a cot. According to the Kasi J^ianda of Skandapurana, “the tying up into a braid of the hair by
the widow leads to the bondage of the husband; therefore a widow should always shave her
head.”24 While the widow is effectively defeminised by denying her access to all those
accessories that might accentuate her attraction as a woman, the unsexing or “castration” 25 of the
widow by tonsuring her is not sanctioned anywhere else in the Shastras, as Kane observes,
including the Manusmritis. P.V.Kane is of the opinion that tonsuring of widows did not develop
until the tenth or eleventh century A.D. and that this stricture is a later interpolation that might
have been intensified by the Buddhist influence of tonsuring female ascetics to keep them chaste.
It is quite another matter that even this ‘castration’ is ineffective in saving the widow from
predatory men, usually within the home 26 or from their own sexual desires.
Susie Tharu and K. Lalitha in the first volume of Women Writing in India, record in a
biographical note, the retort of a learned Telugu saint-poet of the nineteenth century, Tarigonda
Venkamamba who was coerced to submit to the shaving of her head following her widowhood:
“What right do you have to make me shave my head and sit in a comer? I am married to God,
and no one can make me a widow.”27 By claiming the status of a married woman, Venkamamba
defied society by adorning herself with flowers and ornaments and thus escaped the degradation
of widowhood. But others who could not thus manage to deflect social norms had to internalise
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notions of fate and their own sinfulness and tamely submit to demeaning rituals which they often
Ashis Nandy observes that the cruelty of men towards other men and women, is exceeded
only by the cruelty that women inflict on other women.28 But while this may certainly be so,
patriarchal ideology and material compulsions also combine in such responses by women, co
opted within the structures of Brahminic patriarchy. In the eponymous novel Nabha by
Nanjanagudu Thirumalamba, socio-religious fear of the power residing in the luxuriant hair of
the widow is echoed in the words of the brother’s wife who insists that the widow’s hair be
shorn: “What adorns a woman best? Isn’t it her hair? If we allow the hair to add to her youth and
beauty, one can only imagine what will become of her. Vile practices are only helped by long
and plentiful hair.”29 Married women thus anxiously sought to distance themselves from the
unfortunate widows through cultural and physical markers that emphasised the stark contrast
Rassundhari Devi in her autobiography Amar Jiban confesses after becoming a widow:
“Having your head tonsured is worse than death”, and adds that it is “both shameful and sad”
that “[e]ven if a woman with a hundred sons is widowed/ She is regarded as most unfortunate by
the people.”30 She still was not exempt from societal surveillance of her sexuality. Anandibai
Karve, a child-widow, writes about her futile bouts of crying at being “shamed and humiliated so
much” and wondered what sin she had committed to be so punished. Comparing the difference in
the experience of men and women regarding tonsure, she writes that men had the privilege of
pampering themselves by massaging oil on their tonsured heads - a luxury that women could not
afford, for lack of time and the feeling of shame attached to the act. As a consequence, she
writes, widows like herself “would be impatient to pour water over the head and rush indoors,
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11
and would have to endure the irritation quietly. Even death seemed preferable at such times.”
In fact, her widowed elder sister who worried beyond limit about her daughter’s future,
succumbs to death, finding the rigour and humiliation of widowhood too much to bear.
Though the figure of the widow is calculated to evoke pity, it would be a mistake to
conclude that she was devoid of all redemptive power. In fact, the status of widowhood at times
conferred mixed blessings on women caught in “the tensions of conjugal life”, and was a “step
towards greater autonomy and self-reliance.”32 After her widowhood, Parvatibai herself grabs the
opportunity to tour America, leam English, and improve her own personality. Rassundhari Devi
too does not seem to see the death of her husband as a very great calamity and accepts it with
equanimity. The position of the older widow can be gleaned from auto/biographical, discursive
and literary writings of the period. The mother of adult sons had a greater sense of security,
respect and achievement, besides being able to wield greater clout in decision-making and
guiding family members. Dhondo Keshav Karve’s widowed mother for instance, inspired great
awe in her sons and was their source of comfort in making crucial decisions. This regard for the
older widow can also be attributed to their strength of character in single-handedly raising
children and, more so, to their endorsement and faithful practice of the rigid disciplining
discourse of widowhood. The Foucauldian localisation of power that pervades all relationships,
allows for the interchange of positions of power even within entrenched hierarchies. In the
capacity of mother-in-law, the widow’s authority was restored. So also, according to norms of
deference, not even the son could demonstrate his affection for either his wife or his children in
her presence. Elderly widows are also portrayed as being manipulative and seeking to ensure
their power over new entrants, as seen in the autobiography of Ramabai Ranade. But then,
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quite often such dependent widows could only resort to scheming and petty tussles for power
within the home. Vanaja Dhruvarajan analyses women’s role in maintaining patriarchal
symptomatic of an anxiety to show loyalty towards the male members, in order to gain
acceptance.34
The practice of Sati or widow-burning, also called sahamarana and sahagamcma, is,
according to Vedavyasa-smriti, an act wherein “a brahmana woman should enter fire, clasping
the dead body of the husband”, failing which she should “emaciate her body by tapas.”35
However, though there are references to Sati in the Mahabharat, the Shastras again are silent
about widow-burning. The large incidence of Sati in provinces like Bengal are attributed by
Kane to the practice of the Dayabhaga school of inheritance that entitles even sonless widows to
inherit the husband’s share of the joint-family property and which hence prompted relatives to
get rid of them through Sati by appealing to their love for the husband.36 However, the “death
wish”37 for the widow, harboured in familial and social circles could culminate in the
performance of Sati by glorifying the act and promising heavenly bliss to the widow. A point to
be observed here is that not all acts of Sati are accepted as proof of the steadfast love and sheer
physical courage of the burning widow. Quite often, Satihood was conveniently foisted on them
to give a neat narrative closure to their lives. For instance, an anonymously published article by a
widow reveals that the death of a widow on account of fever and harsh treatment after the demise
of the husband, was passed off as an act of love and grief for the dead husband. Similarly, a
glory akin to that of Satihood again elevated the suicide of a widow who jumped off the roof of
her house to escape the horrors of widowhood, even though there had been absolutely no love
lost between the ever-quarrelling couple.39 Krupabai Sattianadhan gives a nuanced picture of the
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conflictual relationship between an orthodox community and the transgressing, learned widow.
The latter pays for her learning by being forced onto the pyre of her husband, from which she
The stereotype of the burning widow received the attention of the West through travel
writings in the early years of the East India Company. Kate Teltscher records the response of
travel writers who often felt that the widow got her “just desserts” for being unfaithful and for
even having the potential of killing the husband. The fate of this burning sati was similar to that
of the English widow. The latter too was condemned to be burnt for treason if she plotted to kill
her husband.41 Teltscher also comments on the account of Jean Tavernier depicting the Sati as
the passive, frightened victim of the devilish, greedy Brahmin priests, out to grab her jewellery
like vultures.42 Such images set the imperial stage for the noble act of rescuing this pathetic
figure of the burning widow from the horrifying practices of the natives. It legitimated British
rule over an uncivilised race and validated economic depredation of the colony in the name of a
civilising mission. While there is absolutely no defense of the reprehensible practice of Sati, the
political dimensions of the abolition of Sati and other acts of saving the Hindu woman can be
seen as exercises wherein, in the words of Gayatri Chakravarthi, white men were saving brown
women from brown men.43 Mary Daly, impressed by Katherine Mayo’s controversial Mother
India, expressed her indignation over sati as a “horror show” and as “ritual murder”.44 While
there is certainly no getting away from this charge, critics like Ketu Katrak question such
simplified critiques that fail to simultaneously interrogate the dubious role of imperialism in
essentialising the experiences of Third World women and serving the imperial mission by not
questioning colonialism.
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Constant denigration of the cultural practices of the natives resulted in a nostalgic return
reformers feel the need to cleanse the nation of its “harmful customs” and restore it to its pristine
Aryan stage and thereby rise in the esteem of their colonial masters. These harmful “customs”
womanhood, thereby revealing the native male intelligentsia’s anxiety to exonerate Hindu
religious practices in their own eyes and in those of the critical colonial masters. Ranade blamed
the mixing of the pure Aryan race with the “primitive” races from South India as being
The plight of the widow became the central concern of nineteenth century writing -
especially male-authored works that sought to assuage a collective feeling of guilt at the blatant
social hypocrisy and religious double standards operating with regard to the fate of widows and
widowers. Vidyasagar for one, was horrified that almost senile men, having sired countless
children and lost countless wives, could still marry nubile girls with impunity and social
approval, while even little girls widowed in childhood were compelled to comply with enforced
and rigorous widowhood. Both Raja Ram Mohun Roy and Ishwar Chandra Vidyasagar,
influenced by Western reason and enlightenment, perceived the pathetic position of the upper-
caste widow and sought ways to enlist help from the colonial regime in combating orthodoxy.
But the reformers’ rhetoric perforce had to be based on Shastric interpretation of tradition and
the use of a register very familiar to the orthodox. Vidyasagar argued that widow remarriage
would mitigate social crimes like foeticide and infanticide, and would help channelise the
repressed sexuality of the child widow in a legitimate manner.47 But recommending the practice
of customs of the “chotolok” or the lower castes, for the “bhadralok” was, as Sekhar
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Bandyopadhyay feels, a move that was bound to be squashed by orthodox Brahmins.48 In their
earnest endeavour to ameliorate the plight of the widow, these male reformers took recourse to
tradition. Roy argued against the act of Sati by reminding the community that it was not entirely
sanctioned by the Shastras and that the widow should instead, lead a chaste, celibate life of self-
abnegation.
The colonial government, ever cautious not to antagonise the dominant Brahmin males,
was expedient enough to seek authentic Shastric interpretations on the issue. It also desisted from
preventing the performance of the Sati, if convinced that it was a genuine case involving the
widow’s volition. Lata Mani notes that in the debate between the reformers, the orthodoxy and
the colonial government, the widow was the “site” on which tradition was battled out.49
Rajeswari Sunder Raj an also problematises the feminist dilemma of seeing the sati as either
victim or agent. She writes that to open the way for a meaningful intervention and to demystify
sati, it is essential to acknowledge and contest the discourse of the female subject of/in pain.50
about a paltry number of highly debated widow remarriages after legislation. The Act did not
change the scene much in an entrenched patriarchy that resented intervention of any sort that
might mitigate its control and ownership of upper-caste women. The sense of sin attached to
even the remarriage of child-widows was strong as seen in the remarriage of Dhondo Keshav
Karve and Anandibai. While Professor Karve’s life was constantly under threat, the couple was
socially ostracised and their families excommunicated in his native town of Murud.51 The
stranglehold of Brahminism in Maharashtra, especially owing to the erstwhile rule of the Pune
Peshwas brought out the contradictory nature of reform. Ranade, a supporter of widow
remarriage, was compelled by his allegiance towards his orthodox father, to marry a girl of
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eleven. Vishnushastri Pandit was however, one of the few who dared to marry a widow. Karve
himself gave up all illusions of conscientising people and instead concentrated on empowering
widows through education. The Widows’ Home begun by Karve was also to counter the
threatening Christian influence of Pandita Ramabai’s school for widows.52 The widows who
were otherwise shunned by all, were nonetheless needed by the community to assert its
inviolable religious boundaries that were now seen as being breached at the Pandita’s Home. The
Widow Remarriage Act of 1856 also froze and codified Shastric law while ignoring local
cultural practices. In the process, the Act worked to the detriment of even those widows from
lower castes, traditionally never debarred from remarriage, who now perforce had to give up
To complicate matters, upward social and caste mobility prompted lower castes to give
up emancipatory gender practices and imitate Brahmin rigidity in preventing widow remarriages.
Tarabai Shinde records the percolation of Brahminic patriarchal ideology in all sections of
Maharashtrian society.54 However Hiroshi Fukazawa in his study of medieval Deccan observes
how this move to break Brahminical exclusivity in its harshness towards widows, was stiffly
resisted by Brahmins who insisted that the lower castes could not enjoin enforced celibacy on
‘their’ widows. Fukazawa shows the significant role played by the State in entrenching caste
practices during the reign of the Peshwas. While favouring the Brahmins with ritual, social and
economic superiority over other castes, this superiority also imposed severe caste restrictions on
Brahmins to prove their exclusive status. Upper caste widows thus bore the brunt as markers of
caste exclusivity by having to lead a life of enforced widowhood, chastity and rigid austerities
that would be held in high esteem, and which yet could not be imitated by lower castes. The
Peshwas actively resisted any move by lower castes to enforce widowhood on their women by
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not permitting such upper-caste practices.55 Uma Chakravarti very pertinently analyses the
failure of the Brahmin male reformers to radically question the structural ways in which
patriarchal ideology worked against widows - the economic deprivation of over-worked and
under-fed widows and the systematic ways in which men were privileged over women in
wielding power and enjoying privileges denied to women, especially widows. She notes that
despite their “humanist rhetoric”, upper caste reformers in Maharashtra were loath to question
material and ideological gender asymmetries and were glad to exonerate religion by blaming
“customs” and traditions.56 Besides, the alacrity with which Maharashtrian Brahmin men closed
ranks when it came to the question of their caste and class hegemony57 exposes a similar
lopsided and limited gender agenda to ameliorate the cause of the widow, a ‘passive’ subject
perceived as voiceless and lacking in all sense of agency. It was Jotirao Phule who tried to
provide shelter to pregnant Brahmin widows who were shunned by all in a futile attempt to wish
away the problem of sexually trangressive widows. If however, the figure of the upper caste
widow filled male reformers with a sense of guilt and unease, for the orthodox, she was the
civilisational triumph of a Hindu nation that confirmed the spiritual superiority of our traditions
over the grossly materialistic modernity of the West. The widow, glorified as a paragon of virtue
and ascetic self-abnegation, rather than evoking either sympathy or guilt, stood as a cultural and
religious marker for all that was pure and exemplary in Hindu tradition. The revivalists resisted
tooth and nail all reformist attempts to implement humanist reforms for widows.
Nonetheless, historians have observed a marked change in the attitude to the widow’s
sexuality in the early decades of the twentieth century. With a rise in militant Hinduism and a
consolidation of Suddhi and Sangatans advocated by reform-oriented associations like the Arya
Samaj, the nation began to be constructed as a ‘Hindu Rashtra’ with Muslims being seen as the
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threatening, lecherous ‘other’. Charu Gupta records the “demographic politics”58 of Hindu
nationalists in the way Muslims were perceived as abducting gullible Hindu widows, depleting
Hindu numbers and swelling the country with Muslim population. 59 This numerical
preoccupation of the Hindus made them redeploy and valorise the latent, erstwhile negated
sexuality of widows in the cause of the regeneration of the Hindu nation. The Hindu widow was
now encouraged to marry so as to provide many strong male children to increase the supposedly
dwindling population of Hindus. The discourse of nationalism was used now to harness the
reproductive capacity of the Hindu widow. In Ekadasi by Subhadra Kumari Chauhan, this
anxiety of abduction of Hindu widows by Muslim's is seen in the life of a child-widow observing
with great devotion, Hindu traditional observances like ekadashi, even after her marriage to a
Muslim. The writer portrays the protagonist as such a faithful adherent of Hindu customs, that
the doctor in the story, is forced to acknowledge the rationale of the Suddhi Movement.60 But in
agriculture-based regions like the Punjab and Haryana, where dominant lower castes like the Jats
followed the pratice of levirate or Karewa, the Brahmins followed suit and got their widows to
cohabit with the brother of the deceased husband. Thus, as Prem Choudhary has analysed, the
productive and reproductive labour of the widow was harnessed within the affinal home and
fears of fragmentation of land and property were allayed.61 In fact, the widow who refused to
Rajul Sogani in The Hindu Widow in Indian Literature traces the stages in the changing
social perception towards widow remarriage. Sogani observes that the earliest Maharashtrian
novel on this theme, Yamuna Parvatan by Padmanji Mulay, and later on Pan Lakshvan Khon
Gheto by Hari Narayan Apte explore widow-exploitation and strongly condemn tonsuring of
their heads 62 With increasing nationalist zeal for reform among the male intelligentsia, novels
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like Indirabai by Gulavadi Venkatarao, Sansar by R.C.Dutt, Jusantar by Shibnath Shastri and
Murola by Debiprasanna Rai Choudhary end with marriage of the widow with the man she loves.
Sogani adds that these writers were eager to show that society was actually changing.63
However, with rise in nationalist feeling, the widow was now exhorted to sublimate her
sexuality, inspire young men in national regeneration, prove to be a loving mother-figure, and
sacrifice her own interests in the cause of serving the nation 64 Novels like Premchand’s Pratieva
and those by Tagore and Saratchandra Chatterjee did not upset social conventions and though the
theme of love is explored, the narrative closure of their novels did not allow widow remarriage.65
In contrast, Sogani says, women novelists prefer not to dwell on the issue of widow remarriage.
Instead, they plead for improvement in their condition, their education, financial independence,
inheritance rights, the right to work for a living and a more dignified place in society.66 Sogani
intellectual detachment.”67
trove of the figure of the widow. The literary and discursive writing of the period chosen for this
study shows a rare sensitivity in depicting the liminality of widows in Brahminical society.
Rakhmabai, who wrote anonymously to The Times of India as a “Hindu Lady”, indicts Shastric
law for making the widow a “social leper”, “unbeloved of God and despised of man - a social
pariah and domestic drudge.”68 She was astute enough to perceive the material exploitation of
the labour of the widow even while the widow herself was an accursed creature to be avoided
like the plague. She wonders at the inhumane ways in which a six-year old child could be treated
as harshly as a sixty-year old widow with absolutely no concessions for the former. Perhaps
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Rakhmabai could afford to stand outside patriarchal Brahmin discourse and critique it on account
of her own location within the Sutar caste. Likewise, Tarabai Shinde, placed in the Maratha
caste, found it easier to mount a blistering attack on Brahmin males. She roundly denounced
male hypocrisy and double standards regarding widowhood and the social castigation of a widow
Vijaylakshmi for committing infanticide. In a fiery attack on the blatant privileging of widowers
over the hapless widows, she fumes that widows had a better right to live than widowers, since
they had to fend for their children. On the other hand, those men who recommended Sati for the
widow ought to be burnt on the pyres of their wives. She angrily wonders why men should be
allowed to remain alive and marry immediately after the wife’s death. She writes: “Why do you
want to survive your wives? To knead cow dung and pat it into cakes for your own cremation?”69
widow who fought tooth and nail to wrest control over the management of her estate from the
paternalistic British Government that insisted that widows following purdah were helpless and
had to be brought under the Court of Wards. The spirited and independent widow spurns the
patronising offer to manage her affairs, and retorts: “in my opinion, I could not do worse with
bandaged eyes, and hobbled feet, than you do with your eyes open and limbs unfettered.” 70
Placed outside the retributive scope of upper caste men, Sorabjee’s Parsi-Christian identity
helped her attack the stock figure of the wily Brahmin priest. Padma Anagol has documented the
growth of a feminist struggle for their material rights in the manner in which countless widows
defied native patriarchal limitations by making optimum use of the colonial juridico-legal
machinery to their own advantage. They also protested against policies of the colonial
government that were discriminatory and paternalistic.71 Most of the women who wrote in this
period did not share the concerns of the male reformers regarding widow remarriage and
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preferred to see the widows as more independent women who could acquire skills for their
living.
being defeminised, shows her grit and courage in girding up to face life in the new unsavoury
garb of widowhood. Her spirit cannot be quelled by being shorn of the marks of marriage.
Running out of tears, she writes: “The vermilion mark/ is wiped off my forehead; / only the
tattoo remains/ to welcome fate/ The bangles are broken,/ but the wrists can still/ wrestle with
fate.”72 However, a scathing attack on social and religious orthodoxy of Brahmins comes from
two anonymous pieces - a speech and a newspaper article that appeared as the appendices to
Baba Padmanji’s novel on widowhood entitled Yamuna Parvatan. The speech on the plight of
widows blames parents for giving away little girls in marriage to widowers in their sixties. The
author wished that this practice would cease and that widows be encouraged to marry again.73
Uma Chakravarti’s analysis of the essays written by the widows like Radha Inamdar in
the Poona Home shows the marked way in which personal “experience” of widowhood offers an
insight quite different from the “knowledge” of male reformers and the male preoccupation with
channellising the repressed sexuality of widows.74 Comparing tonsuring of the head to rape, she
writes that the widows found this practice utterly repugnant and degrading. Among the woes of
these widows were the feeling of being policed constantly by family members for deviation from
norms of chastity, drudge labour, awareness of being marked off from other women in the house
through attire and appearance, seduction of widows by rapacious men within the family, and
But by far the most significant analysis of the material and ideological oppression of
widows comes from Pandita Ramabai who blames Hindu religion and upper caste patriarchal
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structures for the abject condition of Brahmin widows. Her immense scholarship, knowledge of
the Vedas and the gendered, casteist slant of the scriptures made her acutely sensitive to the
structural ways in which widows were oppressed among the upper castes. She quotes from some
ethical teachings to explain the general misogyny towards all women and towards widows in
particular:
Q. What is cruel?
A. The heart of the viper.
Q. What is more cruel than that?
A. The heart of a woman.
Q. What is the crudest of all?
A. The heart of a sonless, penniless widow.76
Ramabai was thus aware of the graded misery of widows, the most abject enslavement
being reserved for the last category above mentioned. Pandita Ramabai was also astute enough to
trace the misery of the child widow to the societal double standards that allowed aged widowers,
particularly among kulin Brahmins to marry little girls without any social curb, leaving them
widowed soon after.77 Ramabai mounts a scathing attack on avaricious Brahmin priests who
“devour widows” houses’ and entice poor ignorant widows through emissaries to leave their
homes, and then after robbing them of their belongings, and tempting them to yield to their
“unholy desires”, “hire them out to wicked men”.78 This courage to take on the orthodox Hindus
again could have come from her location as a Christian convert, outside the punitive reach of
priests who could have otherwise ostracised her. Besides, being the widow of a Sudra and having
no other kin who could be vulnerable to the ex-communicating ploys of Brahmin orthodoxy, she
could exploit her liminal position and empower widows to regain their rightful place of dignity,
II
Parvatibai was bom in 1870 in the village of Devrukh, in the Konkan. Her father, as Rev.
Justin Abbot tells us, was a man noted for his piety and her mother was known for her efficiency.
Like the other girls of her time, she too did not receive any education, as it was considered
inauspicious for a girl to study. Early in life, Parvatibai became a widow, with all its attendant
markers, like a tonsured head and the widow’s dress. She had a son whom she had to bring up.
At the age of twenty six, she began to work at the Widows’ Home at Hingane, a suburb of
Poona, founded by her brother-in-law, Professor Dhondo Keshav Karve, an eminent social
reformer of her time. She simultaneously desired to gain knowledge that would help her in the
service of the Home. She travelled to several places and delivered public lectures in her efforts to
raise funds for the Home. In 1912, she took a rather bold personal decision not to shave her head
She then undertook a very harrowing voyage to America in order to learn English and to
know their methods of education which might be useful back in India. Having no money and no
one to rely on, she worked as a housemaid and tried to leam English at close range. She then
worked as a dishwasher for a hospital and suffered from a breakdown in health. After working at
several places, she got an opportunity to address women in the Hotel Astoria and in distinguished
Women’s Clubs, pleading the cause of India’s women. She also went to London and Paris for
brief visits before returning to India. In her autobiography, she also gives her views on several
Parvatibai Athavale, like other Indian women autobiographers, did not wait for the genre,
conferred on male writers. However, Parvatibai and other women using the genre of
autobiography “did not self-consciously think of their attempts as literary projects.”79 Apart from
the proclaimed wish to gamer the support of other widows in the cause of the nation’s
regeneration, Parvatibai also wrote in order to enter into a dialogue with readers, as Jasbir Jain
would put it with reference to women writers. Meera Kosambi writes that she “hardly assumes a
subject position” and that with other women autobiographers, exhibits “low self-worth” because
wield the pen to craft a selfhood, despite protestations of noble and selfless motives, is by itself
an act of defiance and self-assertion. For an upper-caste widow, it is also fraught with the
dangers of the politics of writing. It also entails an initial alienation of the self - a “fracturing of
the communal identity in order to write the ‘I’ into prominence” before the two can be
reintegrated in the text.81 Though self-effacement seems to set the tone of the text here as also an
endorsement of erasure of the self as normative for a widow, a close reading pf Hindu Widow:
An Autobiography reveals an odyssey of the self that to a large extent excludes others. The
autobiography never dwells for long on either the husband or the son, or any other person for that
matter. It is her quest, her ceaseless efforts that she writes of, of course judiciously sprinkled
with her advice to other women, for effect. Unlike what is usually expected of women’s
scenes. The narrative is almost stark in the absence of any description of nature either. In that
sense, the autobiography is most unfeminine, but quite in keeping with the expectations of a
Brahmin widow. However, beneath the display of self-abnegation lies a subtext that like a
“palimpsest” reveals underlying illicit experiences and a preoccupation with personal growth.
This reveals what Porter Abbot calls the drama in the “performative” act of writing the self - the
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“dissimilarity between identity and discourse.”82 Multiple facets of her selfhood get woven into
the fabric of the narrative - the ignorant and hard-working girl-child, the reluctant child-bride,
the unassuming wife who is silent about her husband, the grief-stricken widowed mother, the
earnest would-be-social-reformer, the diligent student, the sincere maid and many other roles.
experience of widowhood and the ways in which this awareness is simultaneously a “schooling”
in the “humanist rhetoric” of the male reform agenda and a deviation from it. It shows her
personal aspirations towards transcending the limitations of widowhood, and the strategies used
in the development of personhood as also the construction of selfhood in a society that frowned
on any individualistic assertion of the self. While it casts light on her observation of the lives of
other widows, her critique of Brahminic patriarchy also unveils some gaps and silences in her
construction of widowhood.
it is very essential to know her experience of marriage, since widowhood is its obverse. The
autobiography reveals her mother’s anxiety to get the overgrown eleven-year old Parvatibai
married off to whoever would accept her, since they had transgressed social norms by not getting
her married much earlier. Societal surveillance of the sexuality of the unmarried girl is
manifested in the way neighbours would goad the mother: “What a big girl she is, and not yet
abbreviated as HW when in parenthesis). This collective social anxiety about the potential power
of female sexuality revolves around the threat to the purity of caste and patriliny and is dominant
in literature in the common belief that an unmarried girl would soon give herself to whomsoever
she willed. Thus, when an alliance materialises with a lame man earning a meagre fifteen rupees
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per month in the Customs Office, with no kin to call his own, Parvatibai’s father gratefully
accepts it as a godsend. Besides, her opinion and consent regarding her marriage to a lame man,
is obviously never sought, since such a thought would never occur to the desperate parents of the
bride, worried that they would be tormented in hell if they failed to get her married before
menstruation. She says: “I was not at all pleased with the marriage arrangements, but I said
nothing” (HW, 11). The socialisation of the girl into a non-person still does not mitigate her
resentment at the unequal match. Though anxious not to be a burden to her mother, Parvatibai
still could not get herself to enjoy the music, food and other festivities of the wedding.
It is small wonder then that in her autobiography, she allots merely one paragraph to
dutifully describe her husband as a virtuous man and knowingly or otherwise, waxes enthusiastic
instead about her wonderful relationship of sisterhood with a woman called Ramabai Joshi in
their commonly shared home. Could one be charitable enough to attribute this reticence to
disclose the intensity and quality of her relationship with her husband/God to the customary
silence imposed upon wives open to the public gaze? Or is it more likely that her painful
experience of motherhood and her lukewarm response regarding her marriage dampen her spirit
towards the institution of non-consensual, indissoluble child-marriage? The pain of the young
wife in bearing, rearing and worse, losing children is expressed in these words: “In my fifteenth
year I had a son bom, but he lived only for a day. This experience of mine when I was but fifteen
years of age, was a very difficult one, and a physician’s aid was required... before I was twenty
years of age I had given birth to three children” (HW,13). Unlike in the case of Ramabai Ranade,
there is no glorification and deification of the husband in glowing terms. Silence of this kind
Reverting to the subject of Parvatibai’s widowhood, her claim that she was not interested
in a second marriage and hence had no desire to follow in her widowed sister Anandibai’s
footsteps, is symptomatic of the performative aspect of crafting a selfhood. This disavowal could
be because she had no desire to stir a hornet’s nest on a highly controversial social subject,
especially in the wake of the moral horror experienced by her mother on this issue. To accept
prima facie her explanation, it could be her way of channellising her energy or her libido into the
larger cause of national regeneration rather than diverting it into the care of one family alone. Of
course in her refusal to be tempted into a second marriage, it could also be, as Uma Chakravarti
says, that she claims an agency over a domain which in reality she had no access to, owing to the
dearth of enterprising men who would venture to marry a virgin widow, let alone the mother of a
son.83 Parvatibai’s firm resolve to remain celibate could also be because marriage was not a very
attractive proposition for a person who never portrays a mutually satisfying relationship with her
husband in the first place. The death of the husband is recorded perfunctorily with no emotional
space wasted on this highly significant event in a Hindu woman’s life. In spite of the stigma
attached to the figure of the widow, she might prefer the safety of widowhood to the risks that
another marriage might entail, what with her earlier traumatic deliveries and having to court
The stigma of remarriage was in any case, not less harsh than that of widowhood. In fact,
with no in-laws to either support or taunt her in her present state of widowhood, she could at
least look forward to a sympathetic acceptance from both her parents and her newly remarried
sister. In this context, it is worthwhile to dwell on yet another liminal figure among women that
would seem to privilege the negative comfort derived from the relative safety and certainty of
widowhood, however heartless it might sound. Kashibai Kanitkar very sensitively portrays the
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figure of the deserted wife, whose miseries and insecurities are at times worse than those
suffered by widows. One such abandoned wife in the novel Palkicha Gonda. is a girl called
Dwarki who reveals how she lives in an “in between state”, belonging to neither the world of the
suvasinis nor that of the widows and was often prevented from participating in any ceremony
owing to the ill luck she was supposed to portend.84 In short, Parvatibai’s autobiography, on
close reading, reveals widowhood as a far more viable option than the risks involved in a
marriage. Even in agrarian societies like Haryana where widow marriage was more the norm
than the exception, the widows themselves often preferred to retain their share of the property
and live independently rather than get embroiled in yet another patriarchal relationship of
Karewa. In her own case, widowhood turns out to have more emancipatory potential, autonomy
and the possibility of self-growth than would have been possible in the narrow constricting role
of the ideal wife. The control exerted over the latter by the husband and the affinal family could
be very stringent, especially in the case of the bride, her status being the lowest in the family
hierarchy.
This of course, is not to glorify her widowhood, since it was one state indeed any
pativrata would dread to even think of. In fact, Parvatibai’s autobiography too reveals the
degradation attached to this state and the constant humiliation she had to face in the form of
discrimination and indifference towards the disfigured widow. It also reveals the agony of her
parents regarding their three widowed daughters. Yet interestingly, this sorrow did not include
the position of her brother, who too was a widower, since the peculiar social problems of
widowhood obviously excluded men: “Thus with three widowed daughters our parents felt the
burden of a deep sorrow” (HW, 15). This “deep sorrow” however, did not stop her mother from
expressing her disgust at her daughter Anandi’s remarriage. Her strongly orthodox mind could
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not dissociate the sense of sin attached to it, coupled with the humiliation of being ostracised
even by the lowly barber and the washerman. The hold of tradition over even a mother’s
affection for her daughters is evident in the way she is even prepared to lose Parvatibai to the
possible contraction of cholera at Benares, rather than leave her in Bombay under the disgraceful
and seductive influence of Anandibai. Here, it is clear that being a mother was secondary to her
social identity and her compliance with religious strictures. For Parvatibai’s mother, her
children’s widowhood and even death seemed preferable to the ignominy of a second marriage.
Of the two therefore, for many, widowhood seemed less of a disaster than witnessing a widowed
daughter’s marriage. Karve’s mother even while personally accepting his marriage to a widow,
While on the issue of widow remarriage, Parvatibai’s views on widow remarriage are
apparent in the way her narrative voice merges with that of her father’s, in the case of her sister
Anandi’s remarriage. This remarriage of the virgin widow was acceptable to them, despite the
social ostracism they had to face, thus reminding us of the views of Dayanand Saraswati, Gandhi
and Tilak on this issue - that the remarriage of virgin widows was acceptable. Parvatibai herself
professes her resolve to remain single as she had already experienced the “bliss of married life”,
unlike her sister - this “bliss” obviously referring to the sexual experience of a married woman.
This attitude while assuring the deceased husband the perpetual sexual fidelity of his widow
upper-caste exclusivity enjoined on the minds and bodies of Brahmin widows. Parvatibai does
not appear to be capable of questioning male hypocrisy in the double standards for men and
women in practising celibacy. She applies a different yardstick, albeit through the narratorial
perspective of her father, in the matter of the proposed remarriage of her brother and of Professor
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Karve from the one used for herself. Here, celibacy is not advocated in their case, because, in
the words of her father, both these men had extremely attractive traits of character and hence,
they ought to remarry. It is quite another matter that as a woman, Pandita Ramabai did not share
this enthusiasm about Professor Karve who she felt was ill-matched for her favourite student
Anandi, what with his short stature, frail body, inadequate salary and a twelve-year old son from
his previous marriage.85 It must be remembered that a thirty three year old widower like Ranade,
a little hard of hearing and with rather poor eyesight, had been coerced immediately to marry an
eleven year old Ramabai. The Shastras too enjoin a man to remarry in order to fulfil his domestic
obligations of the household. We observe here a selective and gendered application of notions of
social reform for women wherein a guilty conscience prompts reformers to make token
reparations at least in the case of virgin widows, while never stopping to radically interrogate the
gendered sexual anomalies in Brahminism per se, as often pointed out by Uma Chakravarti. Hari
Narayan Apte’s novel Pan Lakshan Khon Gheto evokes this disparity. The young widowed
heroine Yamuna is forcibly tonsured by her Mama in his indecent haste to consummate his own
remarriage with a girl-bride.86 Gandhi therefore preferred not to endorse widow remarriage and
instead insisted that the widower too remain celibate and conserve sexual energy. Again, it is
difficult to dissociate the authorial voice from her father’s voice, when he says on seeing
Anandi’s infant son, “It is a wicked custom to prevent child widow remarriage, thereby depriving
our country of those who might become pillars of strength to her” (HW, 19). We see here a
traditional reiteration of the purpose of a woman’s life as a mother. This reiteration links the
modem idea of widow remarriage to a nascent militant Hindu nation’s regeneration through the
birth of strong male children in order to counter the perceived threat of the freely proliferating
Muslims as well as to save the enslaved nation-mother from the clutches of foreign yoke.
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Anandibai’s remarriage and motherhood shows the expediency of Brahminism in harnessing the
reproductive capacity of widows to the superior cause of the nation. Thus virgin widows
converted into legitimate mothers of sons toiling for Bharatmata, serve also as what Rada
Ivekovic and Julia Mostov call “territorial markers” 87 to distinguish the Hindu “self’ from the
Muslim “other”. Scholars like Ashis Nandy, Charu Gupta and Mrinalini Sinha have written
about the psychology of the nation in terms of femininity and masculinity. The lowly widow thus
elevated to a sanctified position, also reflects the anxiety of a denigrated and emasculated subject
nation to exhibit a resurgent masculine might through the unabashed use of feminine symbols to
ensure it. The feminised body of the nation was thus to be rescued by the brave sons of the
motherland.
Apart from the remarriage of Anandibai, Parvatibai registers very significant ways of
comprehending widowhood that are very different from the guilt-ridden and lop-sided male
responses to enforced widowhood. It is evident from the autobiography that Parvatibai either
lacks the intellectual tools to effectively mount a critique of male hypocrisy or prudently chooses
not to discuss the blatant double standards involved in the remarriage of Brahmin men and
women. However, being a victim herself in this cultural degradation of widows, she is all
sympathy for the lot of other widows. Her knowledge of the miseries of widows is gleaned by
travelling across the length and breadth of the country, especially to pilgrim centres like Udupi,
Mathura, Varanasi and others. The reader gets a heart-rending picture of widows, many of them
little girls, clad in tattered clothes, clamoring hungrily for a tiny morsel of prasad and whiling
away their lives, inevitably in the midst of lecherous men (HW, 44-45). Parvatibai therefore very
aptly expresses her concern in the hope of evoking sympathetic responses from the community.
She writes about the urgent need to rehabilitate these marginalised widows in suitable Homes
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that would shelter them and free them from a “slavery that exists in the sacred places of India
under the guise of securing for them spiritual riches” (HW, 45). She does not expect them to be
mere recipients of kindness. She insists that they take their rightful place in society and lead
fruitful lives as contributors to the functioning of civil life. She confronts the reader with the
stark reality that the widow’s body is a gendered one which, to quote Meenakshi Thapan’s view
Here it is pertinent to note that her autobiography was ostensibly meant as an inspiration
for other widows to take up the cause of the nation through social work. Her immediate target
audience therefore comprised of widows. But she could not expect to antagonise male readers
too, with whom she seems to be in a persuasive dialogue in the autobiography. She would
therefore have to project an altruistic image of herself too as a selfless worker rejecting any
remuneration for her work. She displays an anxiety common to many women - an anxiety not to
appear as competing in any way with men for jobs, since that would have quickly evoked a male
backlash and snuffed out further efforts to bring women, especially widows, out of the closet of
the home. Padma Anagol points out this female strategy of bringing women into the mainstream
by cloaking it in the “rhetoric of the more acceptable concept of service to the family, society
and nation”, while simultaneously avoiding stridency in demanding equal rights and pay for
go
women.
As analysed earlier, the perpetuation of the superiority of Brahmins was sculpted through
the disfigured person or rather, non-person of the widow, by subjecting her to the trauma of
tonsuring her head and erasing her femininity. As a constant symbolic reminder of the cessation
of her sexuality, she would have to don coarse white or dull maroon saris and enter into the
“orbit” of “sartorial shame” and “cultural national authenticity”90 that would paradoxically
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exhibit the nation’s cultural pride in its rigorous enforcement of a widow’s asexuality.
Parvatibai’s trauma of the tonsuring ritual is conveyed through a tautly controlled but poignant
narratorial perspective that allows the reader to gauge how distraught she was on being
compelled by tradition to accept a new normative of femininity - one that was to mark off
widows from other positive ways of being a woman. While she calmly divulges the eventuality
of her husband’s death to the reader in a sentence or two, she gamers readers’ sympathy for her
new, defeminised look by using the narrative device of sharing her experience as a widow, shorn
of hair and all other signs of the state of mangalya, through the eyes of her infant son:
“Why are you wearing this reddish sari, and where has your hair gone?”
Overcome with emotion, I would reply, “My hair has gone with your father.” To
this he would say, “Then let us go where he is”. At such times the condition of
my heart was such as only those can know who are widows with children. Others
cannot know it (HW).
‘Others’ here would include nationalists and reformers, all of whom were male. This narrative
ploy saves her from making any explicit references to her own anguish as a woman and yet
touches the hearts of the readers by the sudden and stark transformation to a non-feminine mode.
It shows her helplessness at the inability of language to fully express a state of mind that was
This narration also discloses the dual burden of a disfigured widow suddenly reduced to a
non-person and its harrowing impact on the emotions of her infant son, which again fills her with
an awareness of her own helplessness in assuaging the bewilderment of her son. She is thus
forced to submit herself to a dehumanising custom and to watch the impact of this almost
grotesque change in her appearance on a vulnerable child, without possessing the power to
challenge the demeaning ritual. Apart from her powerlessness is also her guilt bom from her
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enculturation into the notion of sin regarding the act of widows letting their hair grow. It took her
years to outgrow and disrupt this ideology. She writes that it was only after many long years,
during which she acquired an education and expanded her intellectual horizons by her
interactions with Professor Karve, that she became aware of the need for widows themselves to
“assert their right to their own heads” and refuse to be tonsured (HW, 47). This was indeed a
radical departure that wrested control over the widow’s body from the male priests parading as
moral enforcers of religion, and returned it to where it actually belonged - to the widow herself.
This restoration of the dignity of the body ruptured the collective social control that pinned the
widow’s body down in its vicious grip. It paved the way for a more enabling way of
reconstituting the normative female body of the widow, bom of an awareness that had hitherto
Yet, this crucial disruption comes as a gradual shift in her consciousness which does not
lead to an immediate revolt on her part. She acquiesces with the custom of shaving her head for
many years before she takes the courageous step of growing her hair - courageous because of her
willingness to bear the calumny she had to face from several quarters. An ever vigilant social
monitoring of widows is manifested in the way several people cast insinuations about her secret
motive behind the act of growing her hair. The questions indicate a collective upper-caste social
panic about the possibility of Parvatibai deciding to marry again, presaged, as is presumed, by
her reverting to her pre-widowed way of dressing, though on a simple scale. Her narrative does
not explore the virtual lack of suitors in the case of an ageing Brahmin widow though. In any
case, what prevented her earlier on from immediately putting an end to her humiliation was her
fear that she would never have been accepted as a social worker and therefore would not have
succeeded in her mission of collecting funds for the widows’ home. More importantly, her fear
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of the adverse impact of social vilification of the mother on the tender mind of her young son
made her bide her time for her son to grow mature enough to withstand the onslaught of caste
members on his mother’s character and suspected passions (HW, 53-54). This apparent
acquiescence to a demeaning ritual while patiently waiting for the opportune moment to register
her protest, is one reason why Parvatibai could be successfully recuperated within traditional
society. In fact, she redefines the notion of passivity by remaining within the normative limits of
widowhood only in so far as it served her purpose and by casting off the limits by her free
choice, when she could afford to do so. It also indicates the severely cramping socio-cultural
conditions under which the incipient feminism of Parvatibai had to be curbed for years before
asserting itself. This reflects the social vulnerability of affective bonds between parents and
Parvatibai’s autobiography not only throws a glance on her own disfigurement, but also
incorporates the plight of other widows. The person who had begun the text on an apologetic
note now asserts that her experience as a woman, as a widow, and as a social worker entitled her
to authentically share her views with others who stood to gain from her words of wisdom. She
asserts: “I have a full personal experience of the degradation connected with customs to which
widows are subjected.” Again, she says in reference to the tonsuring of widows’ heads: “What
must be the state of a child-widow’s mind as she sees about her what she cannot enjoy. No one
can understand it who has not become a widow in her youth...To remove this evil, it is not
enough to hold occasional Social Conferences in the large cities” (HW, 49-50). Her words
referring to the intellectual zeal of social reformers imply that the male social reformers could
never truly know the colonisation of a woman’s body at the hands of dehumanising rituals
calculated to discipline and control her. She resents their appropriation of an arena that belonged
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to women and makes a dig at other male social reformers for never practising what they
preached. Her public life in the cause of the Widows’ Home negates the notion propounded by
Partha Chatterjee that women’s agency was to be found only within the context of the home
through the evidence of their autobiographies.91 She thus decries the holding of inane
conferences by male reformers without actually addressing the problems of widows. More
pertinently, she is able to zoom in accurately on the reasons for the widow’s lack of initiative in
reclaiming her own body. Tonsuring of widows under the pretext of renunciation of the world,
she writes, “is being imposed on helpless, ignorant and wholly dependent widows” (HW, 49 -
emphasis added). She is thus sharp enough to comprehend that the seeming passivity and
acquiescence of widows to their own defeminisation is a result of the material compulsions that
In The Pedagogy of the Oppressed. Paulo Freire asserts that only the oppressed could
bring about any change in their condition, by opposing oppressive practices, since the oppressor
was too dehumanised to save either himself or his victim.92 Likewise, Parvatibai believed that
only widows would be able to decide what was best for themselves regarding practices like
tonsuring of the head. She is convinced that shaving of the head should be completely voluntary
and widows, who feel otherwise, should themselves object to this practice and refuse to submit
to the barber’s razor. Regarding the tonsuring of widows under the pretext of advocating a
spiritual life of renunciation, she sees no earthly or heavenly gains to be had in tonsuring widows
against their will when they themselves have absolutely no inclination towards spiritual
renunciation (HW, 49). Her autobiography shows the meaninglessness of the spiritual space open
to widows only in the privacy of the home in the midst of other happy couples, with no other
higher religious aspirations than those concerning the salvation of the husband’s soul.93
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Coming from a woman like Parvatibai who on an earlier occasion had harshly criticised a
widow at the Home for her decision to grow her hair, this change was commendable. Very
pertinently, she tries to sensitise the readers to the graded ways of being a widow. Being an
unattractive old widow might ward off unwanted male attention. But humiliation and frustration
were in store for the older widow indoctrinated into viewing tonsuring as a religious necessity.
She notes that barbers discriminated against aged widows and preferred to shave the nubile ones.
The sexual overtones of this kind of preference for young widows by barbers, is left to the reader
to gauge. She therefore writes persuasively that only male relatives, like the widow’s brother,
should be asked to shave her head, if custom did not let the widow grow her hair (HW, 50). In
this regard it is interesting to note Jotirao Phule’s call for a barbers’ strike against the tonsuring
of a widow’s head. His genuine concern for the plight of widows notwithstanding, we perceive a
marked difference in the two stances. Phule’s call implicates widows as passive recipients of
social change while Athavale sees them as active agents asserting their rights as women. She
therefore boldly exhorts widows to resist forced tonsuring. She urges them to grow their hair
instead, in the way she did, and to refuse to go about life with a sad demeanour.
Like other male moderate reformers of her time, she too blames “customs” for the
depredations in the past. For Parvatibai to articulate a more radical critique of Brahminical
patriarchy, she would have had to carve a space for herself “outside the fold” of the community
to borrow Gauri Vishwanathan’s phrase, and the protection of the family, which would be next
to impossible, except in the case of converts like Pandita Ramabai and women like Rukhmabai
and Tarabai, who did not belong to the upper caste of Brahmins and who did not have much to
lose anyway. Moreover, to question the practices and tenets of Hindu religion outright would be
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to court the risk of being branded a “betrayer”, a “traitor” by self-appointed “patriots” of Hindu
nationhood as seen earlier in the accusations leveled by Tilak at Pandita Ramabai for her bold
condemnation of the misogyny in the Shastras.94 She cannot even therefore afford to write of the
British as a “countervailing” force that could redress gender wrongs within the community. In
any case, the colonial government had all along been too wary of jeopardising their own
commercial and political interests to take up cudgels for upper caste women, especially widows
and invite the wrath of the socially and economically powerful Brahmins.95 Even the Mughal
emperor Aurangzeb had refused to break caste norms on appeal by Mangs and Mahars against
the commonly upheld upper-caste Hindu practices.96 Incidentally, even Gandhi despite his deep
sympathy and respect for the widow, felt that “incalculable harm” would be done to the nation if
As for her own widowhood, it is a setback which Parvatibai challenges and capitalises on.
In spite of, or rather, because of her widowhood, she is able to cast off the narrow domestic role
of a housewife and move towards greater individuation of her personality, even if in the context
of the Widows’ Home. She refuses the role of the widow as the “quintessential wretch”. She now
evades the patriarchal power of husbands to subordinate wives to their whims and desires. For
instance, the Maharani of Cooch Behar, Sunity Devi in her autobiography displays an abject lack
of personal freedom and is completely at the mercy of her high-handed husband.98 Rassundhari
Devi too saw her married life as a “cage” that required her to practise purdah even before her
husband’s horse.99 Therefore Parvatibai, while having to suffer privation and degradation as a
widow, is able to use the agenda of social reforms to convert her personal misfortune into an
opportunity for a new social identity. Widowhood surprisingly, confers on her an androgynous
position, wherein she could move unescorted across the length and breadth of the country and
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parley with men on the position of widows, with no fear of being under the “panoptic” social
gaze that might withhold other women from any dream of travelling alone and meeting people.
Recuperated within the nationalist framework of working selflessly for the cause of widow
rehabilitation, she escapes the vigilant and suspicious control exerted over every movement of
She utilises this freedom to give impassioned lectures, lobby with people, and use her
skills of networking to further her personal and public aspirations. She does what she urges other
widows to do - take their rightful place as worthy members of society. She wonders at her own
commendable achievement of collecting around seventy thousand rupees for the Widows’ Home
and thus feels a tremendous sense of self-worth. It gives her the courage to stand up for herself
when criticised by envious men who could not digest the fact that a mere woman, and an ageing
one at that, should be ‘selfish’ enough to wish to travel all the way to America. Playing the role
of the self-abnegating widow to the hilt, Parvatibai hastily reassures potentially disapproving
readers that she had only noble intentions in going to America. She would work for a living in
America and learn English and also about American institutions for the sake of the Widows’
Home. She cannot help observing sarcastically though, that far more men visited foreign
countries than women ever did. It is quite another matter that she does not really succeed in
mastering English, nor in collecting an earth-shattering amount for the Widows’ Home, though
she would like to construct her visit to America as a great success. It would never do for a mere
widow to admit, even to herself, to anything less noble than the cause of the nation that
With the passage of time and the obvious demonstration of steadfast devotion to her
deceased husband, a widow is able to wield greater influence, especially in her family. It is
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Parvatibai’s unquestioned position as the mother of an adult son that allows her to make
decisions regarding his marriage to a girl of her choice, despite his initial reluctance. It is again
her indirect influence that prompts her son to take up the cause of the Widows’ Home and make
it his life’s mission. In this capacity, she is definitely not like the peripheral figure of the
powerless nubile child widow who is shunned by all. Rather, she occupies centre-stage in
charting the course of her son’s life. With age, acquiescing to sacred widowhood thus has its
If we sift carefully enough through her profession of selfless service of the nation’s
widows, we also get to see another side to Parvatibai the reformer - a side that is normally
denied to the widow and which she herself refuses to acknowledge in her projection of her
persona in the autobiography. This is her constant effort towards self-improvement for her own
sake, towards attainment of a personhood and a sense of power that education, especially
knowledge of English conferred on a person. Western notions of the private self and personhood
are frequently posited against the public role of women. According to this view, the expression
of one precludes the other i.e., women in public offices constantly underplay the significance of
asserting a private self in the genre of autobiography.100 In this context, as seen in Parvatibai’s
autobiography, the aspirations of the private self are embedded within the matrix of the public
persona, even if obliquely expressed. Her personal aspiration to acquire a greater degree of
power through knowledge is evident in her earnest efforts to learn English, ostensibly, to help in
her public work. She goes to great lengths to fulfil this desire. Her voyage to America, while
largely for the acquisition of English and to learn about Western institutions, is also at a
subconscious level, a matter of personal achievement she had “never dreamt” of. When she gets
the “golden opportunity” of seeing the sights of the capital city Washington, she is elated about it
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since she had “given up hope” of seeing it. Naturally, she is not at all averse to mixing pleasure
with business. She enjoys the hospitality of the Irish Miss 0‘Reilly, who arranges a “beautifully
decorated” room exclusively for Parvatibai and which gives great “delight” to her. Parvatibai’s
opinion is constantly sought on what might please her. She constantly writes about how “happy”
she felt there and how she would have gladly spent the rest of her life in the “pure, happy home”
of the O’Reillys (HW, 127). This is not at all surprising, considering the relative freedom she
experienced in America from the usual constraints that cramped the lives of widows in India. She
does not feel overtly guilty to accept more milk and fruits than the other three indigent students
with whom she stays for some time, on account of her age and delicate constitution -
concessions that could never be made for widows in India. She writes enthusiastically about
being invited to afternoon tea and dinner clubs, about attending meetings, calling on influential
women in America and most of all, the honour of getting to speak at the prestigious Sororis
Club.
She also writes about the “luxurious” living arrangements at the Baldwins where she
stayed more as a companion than as a maid. She basks in the love showered on her in an almost
equal relationship - a thing usually in short supply when it came to widows back home. In fact,
she pointedly refers to the despondency into which widows sank in India, whereas single women
in America found umpteen ways in which to be engrossed happily and constructively (HW, 123).
It is another matter altogether that it took ages for a patriarchal state to grant suffrage and legal
rights to American women. She writes about seeing the Buddhist temple at Colombo, the
Women’s University at Tokyo and the luxurious hotel at San Fransisco where she was put up.
Her journey to England and France, never truly there on her itinerary, was definitely not for
altruistic reasons of serving the Widows’ Home. However, she makes half-hearted attempts to
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couch her desire to see foreign lands as an endeavour to raise funds for widows. Such a desire
and experience of luxurious living conditions could not be accommodated under the strictly
monitored austerities supposed to be practised by widows in India. Thus, beneath the saga of
suffering, sickness and heroic struggles of an individual in an alien land, the autobiography also
gives glimpses of individuation and joy experienced by a ‘mere’ widow to whom such pleasures
were forbidden otherwise. She notes with satisfaction the close bond of sisterhood that she
shared with many people in America, used as she is to either being ignored, ridiculed, or stared at
It was Anandibai’s remarriage and her own education that radically changed the contours
of her otherwise predictably mapped out life of enforced widowhood. This event proved to be a
“new birth” for Parvatibai. Otherwise, there would have been a predictable closure to her social
life, marked by pilgrimages, prayers and a constant blaming of her own fate, as she herself puts
it (HW, 27). In a society firmly entrenched in the belief that education for girls would definitely
end in their widowhood, Parvatibai, as a girl, had absolutely no dream of acquiring any education
other than the one considered proper for girls. Ramabai Ranade too was deprived of education as
a child, owing to this fear of widowhood. As she narrates her life’s story, Parvatibai shows her
awareness of the gender discrimination and stereotypical roles that girls had to not only put up
with, but also internalise. While speaking of the absence of schools for boys, she says in the
same breath that “of course, there was none for girls.” She writes:
At that time no one in our village discussed such a question as female education.
If we girls learnt how to properly arrange for the worship of the idols, how to
pound and shell the rice, how to properly remove the plates on which the family
had dined, and how to bathe and care for the younger children, we were thought
to have obtained all the education that was necessary for a girl (HW, 4).
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The deep-seated Brahmin fear of the learned woman who could revolt against the tyranny
of a patriarchal religion was thus minimised with efforts to inculcate an indifference to, if not an
aversion for knowledge bom of the fear of widowhood. Writing about the illegitimacy of
women’s desire for education in a patriarchal set-up that revolved solely around the needs of the
husband/God, Tanika Sarkar says that the transgressive act of educating oneself was seen as an
immoral act. The educated woman who no longer needed a husband was therefore conflated with
the immoral one. Besides, this education also carried the risk of adultery through secret
assignations made with other men. Tanika Sarkar writes: “the immoral and the educated women
have both symbolically cancelled out the husband: widowhood is a physical embodiment of the
consequences”.101 In any case, the difference between the word ‘rand’ which meant widow, and
the word ‘randi’ used for a prostitute, are so slight as to be easily interchangeable. However, as
far as Parvatibai’s education at the rather late age of twenty-six was concerned, she had nothing
to lose, having already lost her husband in spite of her ignorance. The nationalist agenda of
person, and instilled in her a missionary zeal to help in the nation’s regeneration by working for
the uplift of widows: “It was the education I received that made questions revolve in my mind, as
to the real meaning of the country of India, her national life and what is needed to be done for the
But it is to be noted that while her education could be harnessed to the reconstruction of
the nation, it was in no way capable of radically challenging patriarchal assumptions. Unlike
Pandita Ramabai, for whom knowledge of the Vedas and other scriptures proved to be an eye-
opener, Parvatibai’s education was of a rather limited scope. It did not equip her to mount a
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sustained and radical critique of Brahminic patriarchy which was so well entrenched that few
Also, her acquisition of education was in the face of the customary discrimination and
alienation that a tonsured, deglamorised widow could expect to experience. Her autobiography
documents the ways in which she rebelled against being consistently sidelined both by the
teachers and other pupils as an anomaly owing to her widowed attire. Wearying of such
treatment, she refuses to go to school. Acutely conscious, and perhaps a little bit resentful
towards the display of wealth by other rich wives encouraged by modem husbands to acquire an
education, Parvatibai is acutely conscious of her own desexed looks: “I was a shaven widow
from the Konkan and my clothes were none of the best” (HW, 22). These other ladies must have
avoided her on account of the deep chasm in class and marital status coupled with the fear of
contact with an accursed widow. She also records the initial cultural prejudice she faced when
she stood up to speak about the Widows’ Home. This contempt and indifference might also have
influenced her to shed the garb of the widow and grow her hair when she could afford to do so.
In fact, her tour to America legitimises her buying of six Gujarati silk saris - a far cry from the
coarse, heavy dull maroon she had felt compelled to wear for years.
Again, it is to be noted that it is Parvatibai who conveys her parents’ misery at the plight
of the three widows. She explains to the reader that it was for their sake that she cast aside her
own sorrow and put up a semblance of a cheerfulness she did not feel in reality. It is for their
sake she says, that she philosophically accepted her lot without exhibiting her own grief.
Incidentally, in the course of the narrative, five years of her life as a young widow are collapsed
into a single sentence. The narrative thus reveals how Parvatibai’s status as a widow is mediated
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by her familial relationship as a daughter. This gap speaks volumes about the uneventfulness of
her life and also about the unpleasantness associated with being a widow.
However, despite Parvatibai’s belief in the undiluted sorrow of her parents, from other
accounts,102 it is evident that the parents were not averse to using the productive labour of the
widowed daughters, their concern for the widow notwithstanding. Uma Chakravarti astutely
recognises the exploitation of the “mobile labour” of Anandibai as a widow, caught between the
contesting claims of her parents and her brother to her labour. The latter ostensibly wished to
educate his sister, while in reality he also wanted to use her service in the communal kitchen in
Bombay. Parvatibai too must have slogged for her parents, though interestingly, she is silent on
this issue of the labour of the widow as a drudge, exploited within the family. She is ready to
give the reader her experience of the harrowing and back-breaking labour she willingly and
dutifully puts in as a dishwasher in the U.S., though. This reticence to mention the
unmentionable - the material exploitation of the labour of the dependent widowed daughter can
be traced to the need to shield the natal family from the adverse judgement of readers. The
honour of the family particularly that of a reformer like Parvatibai, demanded that it be portrayed
always as an affectionate one ever concerned about the physical wellbeing of the widow. The
constraints and awkwardness of the genre here, call for concealment, underplaying and posturing
in order to shield the family and to craft an acceptable projection of one’s own personality.
In this matter of drudge labour, it is pertinent to note with reference to the autobiography,
that it was not the widow alone who slogged for others. Parvatibai’s mother too was
overburdened with the care of twelve children and many domestic animals, apart from other
chores in the house and her work in the fields. She mentions that this labour so exhausted her
mother that it made her very irritable towards the children. Karve’s biography shows how
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Anandibai too as the wife of Professor Karve was left to fend for herself and her children most of
the time in his absence in the cause of the Widows’ Home. She had to put in long hours of hard
work in the communal kitchen too. This is the case with Rassundhari Devi also. However, the
quite obvious difference between the labour of the wife and that of the widow was that while the
former did it more out of a sense of duty and affection for her family and shared in the power,
prestige and wealth if any, of her husband, the latter had no such dividend to look forward to.
Widows toiled with no sense of personal power in the affinal home and were often treated with
While on the labour of the widowed sisters Anandi and Parvati, there is a rather different
perception of the notion of work that Parvatibai gives to the reader in her autobiography -
different from the usual experience of widows resigned to toiling from dawn to dusk for
ungrateful relatives, without any material or affective compensation. In fact, Parvatibai imbues
the idea of labour with a kind of nobility by dissociating it from the materiality of monetary
returns. By giving up her claims to any pay for her labour in the Hingane Home for Widows,
Parvatibai transforms the notion of drudge labour into useful, constructive work in the cause of
the nation’s marginalised widows. She raises her work to the level of selfless service and
constructs her identity as a significant social reformer in her own right. In a way, she fits into the
mould of the sacrificing penurious widow. Yet, this notion of sacrifice is rather different from
the stereotypical depictions of self-abnegating widows, since it is out of her own choice that she
dedicates her service in the interest of the nation and not merely out of a false consciousness of
spirituality. This elevation of labour to a socially productive one helps her shake off the tag of an
abject, helpless widow and fills her with a sense of purpose that raises her in her own esteem and
that of others. Her labour gets her social visibility, usually a male preserve, while the drudge
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labour of widows within the home always remained invisible and unrecognised. To this extent,
therefore, her willingness to labour for others is personally satisfying and emancipatory.
However, it must also be noted in passing, that her assertion about being able to feed fifty
widows daily with her efforts, does not augur very well for the self-image of the widows who
selflessly for the widows’ home, her autobiography helps us glean other motives too lurking in
the background. The text makes it amply clear that if there was one thing that she as a penurious
widow was anxious about, it was the education and upbringing of her son. She constantly shows
her awareness of being left absolutely no financial, material security by her deceased husband,
who had had to maintain his family on a meagre income. Her sense of self-worth ebbs with her
dependence on her parents first, and later on, on her sister and brother-in-law. She reveals her
feeling of guilt at burdening them with the education of her son and constantly dwells on her
need to personally provide for her son’s upbringing. Thus, her incessant efforts towards the well
being of the widows are also her way of contributing her share to her brother-in-law’s humanist
endeavour and thereby vindicating herself in his eyes. Ultimately, there was, therefore, a
victimised and exploited widow who had no free choice in either the nature or extent of her
labour. On the contrary, far from wanting to shirk labour, she seems anxious to portray a side to
herself that positively thrived on the challenge of fruitful work. For her, sitting idle was tortuous,
as she explains in the episode where her sister punishes her for refusing to go to school by not
assigning her any work throughout the day. For her, a life without gainful work was a “prison-
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like” condition that she strained against with determination. Likewise, she lets the reader know
how diligent and hardworking she was in her account of her stay at an official’s house at
Dharwad on one of her umpteen fund-raising campaigns. She discloses that though she was
treated like a queen and not allowed to do any work, she wearied of the rest and she won her
hosts’ hearts by readily doing the commonest of household duties. She closes this incident by
relating that she had passed the test given by the hosts and was soon accepted as a sister (HW,
43). Similarly, while in America, she gives many other instances wherein she gladly labours and
wins her employers’ trust by her faithful service. Of course, she gets paid for her labour and
chooses where to work, which again makes it different from the kind of drudgery other widows
accepted as their fate. This attitude might have been influenced by her early initiation into the
rhetoric of labour at the hands of her mother. Besides, it might also be the survival instinct of the
subaltern mind of an indigent widow whole-heartedly embracing the dominant ideology of work,
feminised and gendered division of labour, she feels equipped only to take up such chores as
cooking and care of the house and children, a domain that fell to the lot of women. Leela Dube
speaks of work division based on gender according to which domestic work - menial, dirty
household work and childcare - falls in the feminine realm. These norms are internalised by
women and the values of tolerance and self-restraint are imbibed as worthy of a woman. As
Dube says, it is within this “givenness” of gender roles that women manipulate, express
resentment, or use their deprivation and self denial and turn it into sources of power. 103 From the
autobiography of Parvatibai, it can be observed that she chooses to convert her own deprivation
For good measure, she also ensures a space for her work in public memory through the
seemingly self-effacing act of writing her autobiography. In any case, Parvatibai differs from
even the other upper caste men in her attitude to the dignity of labour. She has a refreshing
unconcern for ‘polluting’ herself by her labour in the homes of the meat-eating mlecchas. By
harnessing her labour to the reconstruction of the nation, she redeems herself from the
humiliation of the inauspicious widow. Then again, it should be remembered that in her own
country, she had made innumerable forays into the male-dominated public arena while on her
fund-raising quests and had appropriated a space and a speech reserved for men. Her
innumerable lectures to male audiences show how easily she could slide between typically male
and female domains of work. Her capacity to bear hardships as a woman helps her tide over
many trying situations in America, especially as a dishwasher in a hospital. In fact, when accused
of flouting tenets set for a Brahmin woman and polluting herself by her labour, she deftly
changes the very definition of a Brahmin to include her Jewish employer, the high-minded
But this does not indicate that she ever had any intentions of giving up her own caste and
its practices. As a Hindu widow in far-off America, she had a point to prove to the nation by not
capitulating to insidious attempts to convert her, especially after Pandita Ramabai’s conversion
to Christianity. She hangs on tenaciously to her ancestral religion when faced with the threat of
conversion during her lonely stay at a Home for aged missionary priests. As a seemingly helpless
widow, Parvatibai might have aroused hopes in the mind of an aged proselytising missionary, of
converting her. According to him neither she nor her country could expect salvation without
accepting Christ. She cleverly subverts his missionary rhetoric and asks him to empower her
with the English language so that she could read the Bible and decide for herself which religion
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she ought to practise. This was a deliberate ploy to circumvent the missionary’s racist, civilising,
christianising mission, by using yet another of the white man’s tactics - the anglicising mission.
But as she had vowed before leaving India that she would never leave the religion of her
ancestors, this was her way of using the imperialist’s agenda to suit her own purpose of learning
English. It would never do for her to follow in the Pandita’s footsteps and forfeit her claim to
being the pure widow upholding Hindu religion. The ‘resourceful’ widow is one imaginative
prescribed for its widows, as opposed to the more emancipatory possibilities for widows of lower
castes. Parvatibai as an upper-caste widow in an alien land was therefore the cultural bearer of
the pure, sovereign inner domain of the nation. While she had rebelled against bodily humiliation
by growing her hair, she could never think of polluting herself by changing her vegetarian diet.
As Partha Chatterjee says in The Nation and its Fragments. Indian men could afford to capitulate
to the western culture and give up practice of certain habits. But in women’s encounters with the
West, no such concessions could be granted since they were perceived as the nation’s custodians
of culture and religion.104 These caste restrictions which she willingly practises, however drain
her of energy in her efforts to find food that a Brahmin widow could safely consume. As an
epitome of pure widowhood, Parvatibai reveals her great anxiety to communicate to the ever
vigilant reader, her Herculean efforts to safeguard her culture. She misses no opportunity, to
communicate to the native reader her indifference to her own precarious health brought about by
the constant difficulty in procuring ‘pure’ food. Quite often, she survived on a little milk, some
bread or just a packet of peanuts. In any case, as an upper caste widow, she was not expected to
either pamper her palate or incite her ‘baser’ instincts by consuming other kinds of food. She was
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expected to subsist on meagre fare, just enough to keep body and soul together. Enough caste
concessions had already been made for a mere widow crossing the seas, at a time when even
more vocal and powerful men had stayed back to avoid ostracism.
So anxious is she to prove to the reader the ritual purity of a Brahmin widow even in
America, that she ropes in the praise of an American housekeeper in a hospital where she
worked. This housekeeper validates her superior caste status by telling Parvatibai that as a very
‘clean’ Brahmin woman she was not cut out to work in the stench of fish and meat emanating
from the hospital kitchen (HW, 100). How much awareness of the nuances of the functioning of
caste an American woman would anyway have, is worth considering. The genre of
autobiography thus reveals the anxious ways in which a Hindu widow could manipulate her
material, arrange it in a coherent pattern and imaginatively contour her experiences to enhance
her image of ideal widowhood for consumption of an orthodox audience. This text also
elucidates the Bakhtinian theory of polyphonic, dialogic utterances that always indicate the
presence of other voices in constant contestation with the enunciated words. Sidonie Smith and
woman and reformer, also incorporates other discourses - of orthodoxy, Brahminism and
protecting the “uncolonized” space of the home 106 even when abroad.
This brings one back to the nineteenth century reformist preoccupation of Professor
Karve in ameliorating the cause of widows that catapulted Parvatibai from social obscurity as a
mere widow, to the status of a reformer. One tactic usually adopted by the socially-prominent
women of this period, is their idolisation of the more successful male relatives. Ramabai Ranade
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had unabashedly declared that she lived as the shadow of her illustrious husband. Parvatibai
likewise looks up to Professor Karve for awakening her to the needs of the nation. She calls him
her “honoured guru” and consciously or unconsciously looks up to him for guidance in her
mission. Jasbir Jain writes that in narratives, the image that women have of themselves as
persons often reflect the male members of their family such that their writings display their own
“surrogate male selves.”107 However, this could be an unconscious strategy to further one’s own
selfhood. This ploy of relying on a strong male mentor helps Parvatibai in not only tackling
adverse comments, but in also actualising her potential for personal growth. She is thus able to
apparently remain within the social limits set on her as a widow, while actually breaking free of
them. Thanks to his support, she escapes from domestic roles. In keeping with a gendered
division of work however, Anandibai could not escape such a role. She was burdened with the
onus of single-handedly bringing up her children and managing all other duties of the home back
in Poona, where she stayed back. When Professor Karve meets with a small accident, Parvatibai
sees it as a personal opportunity to prove her own worth and writes: “Now was the time to show
what I could do” (HW, 33). She insidiously puts herself on par with Professor Karve and the
other male social reformers by declaring that she too was a social reformer with a great deal of
practical experience, since she had worked ceaselessly for the Widows Home.
Thus women were forced to overtly defer to superior male power and make themselves as
self-effacing as possible, even as the text signalled other “subterranean challenges”. This
apparent diminishing of oneself had to be also followed up with an exhibition of strict adherence
to traditional family values. Kadambini, the well-known Bengali doctor constantly had to
demonstrate her great role as a wife and a mother and perhaps underplay her professional role.
Yet despite the great care taken by women working in the public sphere not to antagonise the
178
community in any way, they still posed a threat to entrenched patriarchy by their very visibility
in public spaces reserved for men. Malavika Karlekar observes that an orthodox editor of a
newspaper called Kadambini a whore, despite her anxious efforts to give importance to her
family. 108 Similarly, Parvatibai, despite the relative freedom from male authority after her
widowhood, could not completely break out on her own without the overarching ‘protection’ of
men, even in America. Besides, the surveillance of the community could occasionally reach
remote places. Nira Yuval Davis observes that among colonised nations, women often display an
ambivalence towards the nation since they are burdened with the task of upholding the
collectivity’s honour, of not bringing shame to the family, the community and a nation already
extreme hardships, it earns her the ire of a fanatical Bengali youth in America for “wandering”
from house to house seeking domestic work. He equates her position to the slavery of the entire
nation under the British, very conveniently forgetting the drudge labour of countless widows in
his own country. But that for him, would be a matter of course. She cannot escape from the
Bengali, who takes upon himself the duty of deporting her to India for transgressing caste and
gender norms and for denigrating an already subjugated nation. She is forced to concede to his
argument, for to do otherwise would raise doubts about her own patriotism as a good and pure
widow upholding the Hindu nation’s norms, and also expose to a foreign nation their internal
differences of opinion. It does not occur to her however, to question why the onus of maintaining
the semblance of nationalist unity should fall to her lot and not be shouldered by the priggish
Bengali male. It would have probably been futile anyway to even try.
179
However, she does manage to subvert his male authority to talk down to her, by boldly
standing up for her convictions in the presence of two other Indian students. She asserts that she
was being sent back against her will and that she did not see anything wrong in honestly working
for a living as a maid. The reader perceives her contempt for the Bengali, when she refers to his
pretence of “great love for his Indian sister” even while he clung to his own “false patriotic
convictions.” She uses the device of waiting meekly for her “fate” while eventually managing to
get the better of the Bengali, without antagonising the Indian men in America. The Bengali had
informed his “Indian friends that he had freed a Maratha woman from slavery in a non-Hindu
home, and brought her to New York in order to send her back to her own country...”(HW, 108).
Apart from acute myopia of gender, the Bengali also seemed to suffer from a convenient
cultural amnesia of indigenous patriarchal tyrannies that made life hell for Brahmin widows. In
any case, the other students saw no violation of the inner domain of Indian culture because of
Parvatibai’s act of working in a non-Hindu household in a foreign land. Thus she notes with a
sense of relief after escaping narrowly from being sent back to India: “my Bengali brother’s
castles in the air fell into ruins” (HW, 110). Thus for a woman, neither marriage nor widowhood
could guarantee absolute autonomy of movement and decision-making. Even in her forties,
Parvatibai was liable to be hauled up by a strange man arrogating to himself the right to talk
down to her for not upholding community norms. This episode serves to remind readers of the
helplessness felt by Parvatibai in the face of a nationalist rhetoric about ‘pure’ widowhood, even
when she was acutely conscious of the unfair and sexist approach of the ‘patriotic’ Bengali male.
Back home in India, Parvatibai gives her views on Indian society. Here, she borrows or
rather sifts and selects ideas from the West—ideas like equality in marital relationships,
cleanliness and efficiency. But she also reiterates an orthodox notion of the essential nature of
180
Indian women, who needed to guard the citadels of one’s home from the onslaughts of Western
influence. Here she collaborates with the nationalist agenda of cultural rejuvenation and cannot
escape from its hegemonising influence. Besides, it is also a strategy of survival to fight a
system by remaining within it. Geraldine Forbes brilliantly documents the circumspect way in
which Sarojini Naidu placates wary men about suffrage for Indian women, by vehemently
denying that women would ever seek to usurp male roles, power, and prerogatives.110 So too
with Parvatibai, one might say that her stance was a mixture of her beliefs and expediency. We
can see her clinging to some of the old ways while she also gives up certain oppressive practices
like child marriage. Importantly, she grants personhood to the couple getting married and
emphasises the importance of the consent of both. Kripabai and Pandita Ramabai through their
rather defiant stance towards normative practices, are not as readily acceptable as women like
Parvatibai are because of the latter’s ability to be recuperated within this norm of womanhood.
However, like many others, Parvatibai too is able to use the agenda of social reforms to convert
her personal misfortune into an opportunity for a new social identity. Likewise, she criticises
In conclusion, it can be argued that Parvatibai, even without radically changing the
existing situation, managed to achieve all that she might have wanted to, exactly for the reason
that she remained within tradition. Her strategy was to subtly resist stifling aspects of social life
by biding for the opportune moment to register her protest. She redefines the stereotypical notion
of passivity by a clever ploy of using the very existing oppressive systems to her own advantage.
She clings to some of the orthodox ways of life, endorsing at times, traditional views on marriage
and motherhood that definitely detract from a modem pro-feminist interpretation of the text.
Being a woman of her times, Parvatibai would appear conservative to current readers separated
181
in time and space from the bastion of Brahminical patriarchy. While there is no getting away
from this fact, it is also pertinent to ask ourselves how even in a seemingly enlightened twenty-
first century, gender stereotyping and thought-policing by self-appointed ‘patriots’ can instill fear
in women who dare to occupy spaces that are construed as unfeminine and ‘un-Indian’, to coin a
clumsy term. Militant Hindu nationalism, with all its attendant social, economic and religious
insecurities and frustrations among the lower orders that are roped in to propagate its violent
ideology, thrives on a degrading control of women’s attire, bodily demeanour, social interactions
To return to Parvatibai’s autobiography, it is true that she is not capable of breaking away
completely from Brahminical patriarchy. Also, it is not wise to unduly romanticise all her
Nonetheless, as a woman, she subverts many of the limits set on her and aspires towards a better
growth of her personality. She redefines conventional stereotypes of widowhood, labour and
selfhood. Her autobiography reveals how she adeptly uses the strategy of deference to authority
at times, silence that later gets converted into a stinging attack on oppressive practices, and
seeming humility that with time gets translated into a confident assertion of her beliefs. It reveals
the strategic ways in which she successfully inscribes herself as a person, through the use of self-
effacing narrative norms in the autobiography. The reader can discern the multiple locations
occupied by the narrating self in her autobiography. The text reveals her empathy for other
widows. Most of all, it shows how she succeeds in redefining the limits set on widows and rides
the wave of patriotism and nationalism to simultaneously carve out a more enabling personhood
for herself.
182
NOTES
1 Kate Teltscher, India Inscribed: European and British Writing on India 1600-1800
4 Jayant Balaji Athavale and Kunda Jayant Athavale, Holy Festivals. Religious Festivals
5 Leela Dube, Women and Kinship: Comparative Perspectives on Gender in South and
7 Indumati Sheorey, Folk Tales of Maharashtra (New Delhi: Sterling Publishers Pvt. Ltd.,
1978) 108-110.
11 Luce Irigaray, This Sex which is not One, trans. Catherine Porter (N Y: Cornell U P,
1985)31-32.
183
12 Vanaja Dhruvarajan, Hindu Women and the Power of Ideology (New Delhi: Vistaar
13 Michel Foucault, The History of Sexuality Vol. 1: The Will to Knowledge. (London:
Penguin, 1998).
Surveillance and the State in 18th Century Maharashtra,” Social Reform, Sexuality and the State.
Reproduction in Colonial Haryana,” Widows in India: Social Neglect and Public Action, ed.
19 Uma Chakravarti, “On Widowhood,” Rewriting History: The Life and Times of
21 Swati Ghosh, “Bengali Widows of Varanasi,” Economic and Political Weekly. Vol. 35,
22 Uma Chakravarti, “Gender, Caste and Labour: The Ideological and Material Structure
27 Susie Tharu and K. Lalitha eds., Women Writing in India: 600 B.C to the Present. Vol.l
28Ashis Nandy, “Woman Versus Womanliness in India: An Essay in Social and Political
Psychology,” Women in Indian Society: A Reader, ed. Rehana Ghadiallly (New Delhi: Sage
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30Tanika Sarkar, Words to Win: The Making of Amar Jiban: A Modem Autobiography
32 Rajul Sogani, The Hindu Widow in Indian Literature (New Delhi: OUP, 2002) 149-
150.
43 Gayatri Chakravorty Spivak, “Can the Subaltern Speak?” The Post-Colonial Studies
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44 Mary Daly, Gvn/ecologv: The Metaethics of Radical Feminism (Boston: Beacon Press,
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72 Bahinabai Chaudhari, “Now I Remain for Myself,” Women Writing in India: 600 B.C
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\
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79 Meenakshi Mukherjee, Elusive Terrain: Culture and Literary Memory (New Delhi:
Kanitkar and the Engendering of Marathi Literature (Ranikhet: Permanent Black, 2008) 20.
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86 Meenakshi Mukherjee, Realism and Reality: The Novel and Society in India (New
87 Rada Ivekovic and Julie Mostov, eds., “Introduction,” From Gender to Nation (New
90 Himani Bannerjee, “Attired in Virtue: The Discourse, on Shame (Lajja) and Clothing of
the Bhadramahila in Colonial Bengal,” From the Seams of History: Essays on Indian Women.
92 Paulo Freire, Pedagogy of the Oppressed (England: Penguin Books. 1972) 24.
93 Uma Chakravarti, “Gender, Caste and Labour: The Ideological and Material Structure
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97 Uma Chakravarti and Preeti Gill, eds. Shadow Lives: Writings on Widowhood (New
101 Tanika Sarkar, “Strishiksha or Education for Women,” Words to Win 77.
103 Leela Dube, “On the Construction of Gender: Hindu Girls in Patrilineal India,”
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