#HELP

I can't even come up with a catchy title so sorry. Call me Sea, 19, and I'm pregnant. Carrying
a beautiful girl. I know what you think. That I'm too young to have a baby. Pero unsaon
naman nga naa naman ni. It's okay. She's a blessing. Anywho...

I sacrificed everything, just for him. Nagpakatanga ko. Back when we were still in high
school, pabulagon naman gani mi. Pero wala gyud ko nisugot. I love him too much. Known
nami sa campus nga manag-uyab. Let's say he's the badboy and I'm the good girl sa una.

Sige ko ug absent sa klase para ra magkuyog mi. Sometimes he would say, ""Klase or ako?""
Unya ky tanga man ko, I chose him. Since wala man ko nakapadayon ug skwela tungod sa
financial problem, nag work ko sa usa ka call center industry sa amo lugar. And even then, I
risked my job because of him. Mo absent ko para ra magkuyog mi. Lied to my mom
countless of times because of him. Pero wala man jod aso nga dili makomkom, nasakpan ra
gihapon mi. Of course nangisog ako mama. I can't blame her ky sayop nako. Pero in the end
wala na siyay nahimo cause I love him so much. Call him Will, by the way.

Our relationship was really a rollercoaster ride. I know all of you will think that this is toxic.
Sakto man pud. We've been together for four years kapin na. Na tolerate raman nako
tanang sakit sa amo maagian. Until I got pregnant.

What he really said when he found out about it was to abort the baby. I admit, naka
hunahuna sad ko ana ky I really was not ready. Daghan pakog obligations and usa pa, akoy
ga support sa ako mama ky wala siyay trabaho.

Pero in the end, naka realize jd ko nga walay sala ang bata and I decided to keep it. I didn't
tell either my mom or his parents yet ky nahadlok ko. What's worse is that Will would
always threaten me to leave me if I tell his parents. And I didn't want that because bisan
unsaon, I really love him.

Ever since gabuntis ko, sige nakong cranky. Like, maldita najd kaayo ko I swear. Sige nami
ug away ni Will and naa gani times nga mu physical na. Maybe mao ang reason why
nanguyab syag lain?

Yes, nanguyab siya ug lain and I found out about it when I was five months pregnant. Wake
up call naman siguro to nako para mo confess na ni mama og sa iya parents (my mom had
suspicions najod but I kept on denying plus dakoon man ko so dili halata) yet he still kept
threatening me. Tanga kaayo ko sa?

I found out ky the girl chatted me first. But she assured me nga wala na sila ky cold na daw
ang treatment ni Will sa iyaha. There's also another girl nga maybe ka charchar ni Will and
she helped me found a way to talk to him. When I saw him that night, I ended up slapping
him and yelled about me being pregnant bisag naay naminaw. He took me to another place
and we talked. Ni admit siya sa iyahang mistakes and apologized and being tanga as usual,
gi dawat nako siya.

A few days after that, his parents found out that I'm pregnant. They were okay about it.
Sukad sad ato nausob na si Will. He was really kind and sweet and he cared for our baby.
My mom later found out and of course she was furious about it. Thankfully, nagka ayos
nami ni mama and dawat na sad sa iya family so okay na.

Well, at least I thought it would.

This year, this month I am currently seven months pregnant. Ni worse amoa fights ni Will.
Ky mao lagi na, maldita kaayo ko. Some reasons ngano mag away mi are, well,
""reasonable"". Ky since wala nakoy work I want him to work ky dili nako ganahan mag
sige og rely sa iya parents. Other reasons ky wala, ky gaminaldita rajod ko. I can't help it.
It's probably because I'm pregnant.

I don't like getting yelled at. Mu ingon na siya usahay,

""Kaon diha! Ug maunsa ng bata dili ikaw mugasto!""

""Wala ko ga hunahuna nimo! Ang bata ra ako gi hunahuna!""

Sakit kaayo nako na. Usahay musukol ko, usahay ako nalang i hilak. But just a few weeks
ago, I had enough.

I went home and told my mom everything. Even she got hurf sa mga gipakita ni Will nako. I
texted his mom and told her what I felt. But it ended up badly.

She somehow got offended especially when I said that they were just tolerating Will. Okay. I
admit I was wrong.

I apologized. I begged her nga dili mi ipalayo sa iya anak but it was too late. As for Will? He
never did anything. As easy as one, two, three, he left me. Mom said, ""if he really loves you
then he should have made an effort to stop all of this mess ky inyoha ni problema in the
first place. Naa siyay sayop pero he never even bothered to apologize. Sagdi lang nak, ayaw
na ipugos imo kaugalingon nila ky gisalikway naka. Makaraos rata ani maningkamot ra ta.""

Until now I'm still hurting. Usahay dili ko magpa apekto ky I need to be strong for my baby.
But sometimes I can't help but break down.

I still love him. I still want to make things right. I want my child to experience a complete
family (which I didn't).

But now it's all impossible ky dili na siya. Ulahi jd ang mahay.

(Please hide my identity ky akoang real account ako gigamit. God bless)