I Have An Eternity Ahead of Me Weebly

I HAVE AN ETERNITY AHEAD OF ME !
1
I HAVE AN ETERNITY AHEAD OF ME
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EXPULSION FROM THE GARDEN OF EDEN

1620,Sir Peter Paul Rubens
3
I HAVE
AN ETERNITY
AHEAD OF ME
By
MISHAEL
(Michelle T. Kenner)
4
Table of Contents
PREFACE................................................................................................................................................18
SELF REFLECTION: A Look in the Mirror.......................................................................................23
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES ............................................................................................................24
Chapter 1..................................................................................................................................................25
BEFORE WE KNEW SIN.......................................................................................................................25
The Many Faces of Rebellion and Bondage.......................................................................................29
SELF REFLECTION: A Look in the Mirror
.............................................................................................................................................................34
FREE SPIRIT OR FREE TO BE ME?...........................................................................................35
CAN YOU WEAR FAITH AND HOLINESS?..............................................................................36
LOVE AND OBEY........................................................................................................................37
WHAT DO SPIRITUAL BEINGS WEAR?...................................................................................38
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES.............................................................................................................38
Chapter 2..................................................................................................................................................39
HERE I AM, READY TO RESIST AND PERSIST!..............................................................................39
CAN WE TRUST THE EYES, EARS AND HEARTS OF THE WORLD?......................................41
RESIST! .............................................................................................................................................44
PERSISTING IN FAITH.....................................................................................................................46
.............................................................................................................................................................50
Chapter 3 ................................................................................................................................................53
CONFLICT: ............................................................................................................................................53
FUNCTIONING IN THE MIND OF CHRIST.......................................................................................53
FLESH vs FLESH...............................................................................................................................54
IT ONLY TAKES A MOMENT.....................................................................................................54
GOT JESUS?.......................................................................................................................................57
PRAYING
FOR GOD'S WILL
AND KINGDOM ON EARTH...........................................................................................................58
COMMUNICATION:
But, what if they just won't listen?......................................................................................................59
SACRIFICE: Can You Drink From the Same Cup?...........................................................................65
PREDATORS......................................................................................................................................67
A NEW APPETITE.............................................................................................................................71
FLESH VS FLESH.........................................................................................................................74
IT ONLY TAKES A MOMENT.....................................................................................................74
5
GOT JESUS?..................................................................................................................................75
PRAYING FOR GOD'S WILL AND KINGDOM ON EARTH...................................................75

COMMUNICATION: But, what if they just won't listen?.............................................................75
SACRIFICE: Can You Drink From the Same Cup?.......................................................................76
PREDATORS.................................................................................................................................76
QUESTIONS: A NEW APPETITE................................................................................................77
Intermittent Waves Recorded ..................................................................................................................78
From the Transformed Heart of a Woman ..............................................................................................78
Episode 1: BEE........................................................................................................................................78
Chapter 4 .................................................................................................................................................81
DEATH Part 1..........................................................................................................................................81
LOOKING INTO THE EYES OF SIN....................................................................................................81
LIVING WITHIN THE KINGDOM...................................................................................................82
QUESTIONS: LIVING WITHIN THE KINGDOM .....................................................................84
SIN EQUALS UNFORGIVABLE WHEN (SIN=?)...........................................................................85
MATH TIME:......................................................................................................................................85
QUESTIONS: SIN EQUALS UNFORGIVABLE WHEN (SIN=?)..............................................86
MATH TIME:.................................................................................................................................86
SIN, DISPELLING THE LIE..............................................................................................................86
QUESTIONS: SIN, DISPELLING THE LIE ...............................................................................87
THE CONSEQUENCES OF DISOBEDIENCE:...............................................................................88
QUESTIONS: THE CONSEQUENCES OF DISOBEDIENCE ..................................................93
Chapter 4 .................................................................................................................................................95
Part 2 DEATH:........................................................................................................................................95
THE ATTITUDES OF LIARS.................................................................................................................95
THE ATTITUDES OF LIARS............................................................................................................96
QUESTIONS: THE ATTITUDE OF LIARS ................................................................................98
ANANIAS AND SAPPHIRA.............................................................................................................98
QUESTIONS: You Can't Change Me: Unraveling the Lie, Part 4 DETAILS (Ananias and
Sapphira).......................................................................................................................................102
SELF REFLECTION: A Look in the Mirror.....................................................................................103
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES...........................................................................................................103
Chapter 4 ...............................................................................................................................................104
Part 3 DEATH:......................................................................................................................................104
LIES, DECEIT AND COVERT OPERATIONS....................................................................................104
QUESTIONS: ASSESSING YOUR SPIRITUAL GROWTH ....................................................105
RESTORING ORDER......................................................................................................................107
QUESTIONS: RESTORING ORDER ........................................................................................109
THE COUNSEL OF GAMALIEL, THE PHARISEE .....................................................................109
QUESTIONS: THE COUNSEL OF GAMALIEL, THE PHARISEE.........................................110
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Chapter 4 ...............................................................................................................................................114
Part 4 DEATH:......................................................................................................................................114
CAPITAL GAIN?...................................................................................................................................114
QUESTIONS: CAPITAL GAIN...................................................................................................119
Chapter 4 ...............................................................................................................................................123
Part 5 DEATH:......................................................................................................................................123
THE HARROWING EXPERIENCE.....................................................................................................123
Chapter 5 ...............................................................................................................................................131
LOVING JESUS: LIFE AFTER REBIRTH..........................................................................................131
Chapter 6................................................................................................................................................144
REVIVAL: .............................................................................................................................................144
Resurrection, .........................................................................................................................................144
Restoration and Reconnection................................................................................................................144
Restoring the Church to Christ..........................................................................................................146
APPLYING THE WORLD TO THE WORD ..................................................................................151
vs. .....................................................................................................................................................151
LIVING THE WORD IN THE KINGDOM.....................................................................................151
CLEANING HOUSE........................................................................................................................156
CHANGE AND DECISIONS: .........................................................................................................158
TESTING THE CONNECTION.......................................................................................................158
..........................................................................................................................................................165
Chapter 7................................................................................................................................................165
STANDING IN ABUNDANCE, ETERNALLY...................................................................................165

IT'S NOT EASY, BUT THE PAIN & SACRIFICE ARE WORTH WHILE....................................166
WHEN GOD BUILDS......................................................................................................................173
BE STILL, BE ANXIOUS FOR NOTHING....................................................................................177
BE STILL and KNOW WHERE YOUR HELP COMES FROM.....................................................178
Chapter 8................................................................................................................................................184
Part 1 DRIVEN: ....................................................................................................................................184
Who and What Drives You?...................................................................................................................184
RELATIONSHIPS, GOD'S PROMISES, PURPOSE, FRUITFULNESS........................................187
Chapter 8...........................................................................................................................................192
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Part 2 DRIVEN:...............................................................................................................................192
SEEING YOU AS GOD SEES YOU................................................................................................192
RELATING TO OTHERS THROUGH GOD...................................................................................199
Chapter 8...........................................................................................................................................203
Part 3 DRIVEN:...............................................................................................................................203
UNLOCKING THE DOOR TO EMPOWERMENT........................................................................203

WHO IS GOD? WHO IS JESUS?....................................................................................................205
I AM A SEED....................................................................................................................................212
LOOSING AND BINDING, FREELY RENDERING GOD'S LOVE TO OTHERS......................215
Chapter 8................................................................................................................................................218
Part 4......................................................................................................................................................218
STARTING EACH DAY DRIVEN.......................................................................................................218
A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING..........................................................................................................222
A SEASON AND A TIME................................................................................................................227
Intermittent Waves Recorded From the Transformed Heart of a Woman..............................................229
Episode 2: Auntie Yonny........................................................................................................................229
Chapter 9................................................................................................................................................256
OUTLAWING GOD..............................................................................................................................256
...........................................................................................................................................................273
Intermittent Waves Recorded ................................................................................................................273
from Transformed Heart of a Woman....................................................................................................273
Episode 3: AUNTIE YONNY................................................................................................................273
...........................................................................................................................................................279
from the Transformed Heart of a Woman..............................................................................................279
Episode 4................................................................................................................................................279
AUNTIE YONNY..................................................................................................................................279
Chapter 10..............................................................................................................................................296
"YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH, YOU'RE NOT WORTHY!" ........................................................296
THE MESSAGE WITHIN THE MESSAGE!.......................................................................................296
...........................................................................................................................................................306
Episode 5................................................................................................................................................306
AUNTIE YONNY: A NORMAL LIFE..................................................................................................306
Episode 6................................................................................................................................................320
AUNTIE YONNY: The Plots.................................................................................................................320
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Chapter 11..............................................................................................................................................329
CARRYING YOUR CROSS AS YOU LIVE ABUNDANTLY............................................................329

Episode 7................................................................................................................................................342
AUNTIE YONNY: Late Night Visitor...................................................................................................342
Episode 8................................................................................................................................................353
AUNTIE YONNY: ................................................................................................................................353
THE GREATER OF TWO EVILS........................................................................................................353
Chapter 12..............................................................................................................................................360
HUMILITY A ROADMAP TO TRUTH ..............................................................................................360
AND ABUNDANT LIFE......................................................................................................................360
ROAD SIGNS AND EXPLANATIONS...........................................................................................362
BIBLE STUDY.................................................................................................................................365
THE POTTER AT WORK................................................................................................................366
SPEAKING TRUTH.........................................................................................................................367
Episode 9................................................................................................................................................373
AUNTIE YONNY:
What Putin Didn't Know and Couldn't Possibly Foresee.......................................................................373
SPINNING A WEB OF POSSIBILITIES: .......................................................................................378
The Plots Within the Plots.................................................................................................................378
from Transformed Heart of a Woman....................................................................................................381
Episode 10..............................................................................................................................................381
AUNTIE YONNY: The Rise and Fall of Idols......................................................................................381
..........................................................................................................................................................387
Chapter 13..............................................................................................................................................387
ABUNDANT LIFE: ..............................................................................................................................387
THE POWER OF A VOICE..................................................................................................................387
Episode 11..............................................................................................................................................392
AUNTIE YONNY: The Desperate Betrayal..........................................................................................392
Episode 12..............................................................................................................................................396
AUNTIE YONNY: THE WAR ROOM.................................................................................................396
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Chapter 14..............................................................................................................................................408
THE BLIND...........................................................................................................................................408
from the Heart of a Transformed Woman..............................................................................................421
Episode 13..............................................................................................................................................421
AUNTIE YONNY: ................................................................................................................................421
HONEST AND UNFILTERED.............................................................................................................421
..........................................................................................................................................................430
Chapter 15..............................................................................................................................................430
Part I.......................................................................................................................................................430
GOOD FRUIT: PREGNANT................................................................................................................430
..........................................................................................................................................................430
GOOD FRUIT ..................................................................................................................................431
VS .....................................................................................................................................................431
OVERINDULGENCE AND GOOD FOOD....................................................................................431
BECOMING A WOMAN.................................................................................................................432
REVISITING PREGNANCY...........................................................................................................433
HOW CAN I GAIN?.........................................................................................................................436
TEXT REFERENCES.......................................................................................................................437
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES ..........................................................................................................439
Chapter 15..............................................................................................................................................440
Part II .....................................................................................................................................................440
GOOD FRUIT: PREGNANT................................................................................................................440
.....................................................................................................................................................440
FAT VS HEALTHY...........................................................................................................................441
THE TEMPTER................................................................................................................................443
WHO ARE YOU? HOW DO YOU KNOW?...................................................................................446
WHOSE MIND-OVER MATTERS?................................................................................................448
TEXT REFERENCES.......................................................................................................................451
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES ..........................................................................................................451
Chapter 16..............................................................................................................................................452
Part I.......................................................................................................................................................452
GOD WANTS YOU IN FIGHTING FORM.........................................................................................452
ENTITLEMENT...............................................................................................................................454
BRIDGING THE GAP, COMPLETING THE GRAFT....................................................................457
AT WHAT POINT WILL MAN FINALLY SEE .............................................................................458
AND UNDERSTAND.......................................................................................................................458
GOD WANTS YOU IN FIGHTING FORM.....................................................................................463
Chapter 16..............................................................................................................................................466
Part II......................................................................................................................................................466
GOD WANTS YOU IN FIGHTING FORM.........................................................................................466
WHERE IS THE BATTLEFIELD?...................................................................................................467
SUGGESTED READING.................................................................................................................477
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from the Heart of a Transformed Woman..............................................................................................478
Episode 14..............................................................................................................................................478
AUNTIE YONNY: ................................................................................................................................478
Alpha Male, A New Identity?.................................................................................................................478
Chapter 17..............................................................................................................................................486
BURDENED Part I................................................................................................................................486

GREENER PASTURES....................................................................................................................493
Chapter 17..............................................................................................................................................499
Part 2 BURDENED: ............................................................................................................................499
"JESUS LOVES ME, THIS I KNOW"..................................................................................................499
Episode 15..............................................................................................................................................510
AUNTIE YONNY: THE REALITY OF HELL.....................................................................................510
Episode 16..............................................................................................................................................520
AUNTIE YONNY: "Cry 'Havoc'! .........................................................................................................520
And Let Loose the Dogs of War"...........................................................................................................520
Chapter 18..............................................................................................................................................537
TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE: .....................................................................................................537
Part 1 NOT BY SIGHT..........................................................................................................................537
Episode 17..............................................................................................................................................547
AUNTIE YONNY: CRIME SCENE.....................................................................................................547
Episode 17..............................................................................................................................................550
AUNTIE YONNY: ................................................................................................................................550
CRIME SCENE (continued)..................................................................................................................550
From The Transformed Heart Of A Woman...........................................................................................555
Episode 18..............................................................................................................................................555
AUNTIE YONNY: IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME...............................................................................555
Chapter 18..............................................................................................................................................563
Part 2 .....................................................................................................................................................563
TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE:......................................................................................................563
ACCEPTANCE, THE CROSSROAD OF ENDURANCE...................................................................563
Chapter 18..............................................................................................................................................567
Part 3......................................................................................................................................................567
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ACCEPTANCE,....................................................................................................................................567
GREATER IS HE THAT IS WITHIN ME,............................................................................................567
THAN, HE THAT IS WITHIN THE WORLD......................................................................................567
Chapter 18 .............................................................................................................................................575
Part 4 .....................................................................................................................................................575
ACCEPTANCE (continued)..................................................................................................................575
Chapter 18 .............................................................................................................................................580
Part 5......................................................................................................................................................580
ACCEPTANCE, THE ENEMY WITHIN.............................................................................................580
CREATED TO ENDURE..................................................................................................................584
Episode 19 .............................................................................................................................................590
AUNTIE YONNY: WHO AM I?...........................................................................................................590
Episode 20 .............................................................................................................................................610
AUNTIE YONNY: ................................................................................................................................610
GUILTY CONVERSATIONS...............................................................................................................610
Chapter 19 .............................................................................................................................................616
Part 6 .....................................................................................................................................................616
TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE.......................................................................................................616
BE YOURSELF:....................................................................................................................................616
WHEN THE WORLD IS TELLING YOU TO BE SOMETHING ELSE............................................616
Chapter 20 .............................................................................................................................................620
Part 7......................................................................................................................................................620
BE YOURSELF:...................................................................................................................................620
I AM NOT SIMPLY HUMAN! ............................................................................................................620
Chapter 21 .............................................................................................................................................627
Part 8......................................................................................................................................................627
BE YOURSELF:...................................................................................................................................627
A DIVIDED COUNTRY.......................................................................................................................627
Episode 21..............................................................................................................................................634
AUNTIE YONNY: ................................................................................................................................634
WHO WILL MOURN FOR CAESAR? ...............................................................................................634
From the Transformed Heart of A Woman.............................................................................................645
12
Episode 22..............................................................................................................................................645
AUNTIE YONNY: ................................................................................................................................645
SEMPER FIDELIS, ALWAYS FAITHFUL..........................................................................................645
From The Transformed Heart Of A Woman).........................................................................................656
Episode 23 .............................................................................................................................................656
Part 1......................................................................................................................................................656
AUNTIE YONNY: Murphy's Law, .......................................................................................................656
..........................................................................................................................................................666
Episode 23..............................................................................................................................................666
Part 2......................................................................................................................................................666
AUNTIE YONNY: Murphy's Law ........................................................................................................666
Chapter 22..............................................................................................................................................674
MOVING BEYOND PRIDE.................................................................................................................674
Chapter 23..............................................................................................................................................685
MOVING BEYOND PAIN....................................................................................................................685
SUMMARY...........................................................................................................................................695
TAKE IT WITH YOU............................................................................................................................695
EARTHQUAKES..............................................................................................................................698
REMEMBERING WHAT WE'VE LEARNED................................................................................701
From The Transformed Heart of A Woman............................................................................................706
Episode 24..............................................................................................................................................706
AUNTIE YONNY: ................................................................................................................................706
PIGS FLY AND HELL HAS FROZEN OVER?...................................................................................706
Episode 25 .............................................................................................................................................717
Part 1......................................................................................................................................................717
AUNTIE YONNY: FOLLOW THE MONEY ......................................................................................717
Episode 25 .............................................................................................................................................723
Part 2......................................................................................................................................................723
Episode 25 .............................................................................................................................................728
Part 3......................................................................................................................................................728
13
Episode 25 .............................................................................................................................................734
Part 4......................................................................................................................................................734
Intermittent Waves Recorded From The Transformed Heart Of A Woman...........................................746
Episode 25 .............................................................................................................................................746
Part 5......................................................................................................................................................746
Episode 26..............................................................................................................................................751
AUNTIE YONNY: AGAINST MY WILL ...........................................................................................751
Episode 27..............................................................................................................................................763
AUNTIE YONNY: THE PRISON YEARS...........................................................................................763
Episode 28..............................................................................................................................................774
AUNTIE YONNY: I AM NOT HIM.....................................................................................................774
Episode 29..............................................................................................................................................784
AUNTIE YONNY: WHAT A FELLOWSHIP.......................................................................................784
Episode 30..............................................................................................................................................790
AUNTIE YONNY: CONSEQUENCES ...............................................................................................790
Episode 31..............................................................................................................................................799
Part 1......................................................................................................................................................799
AUNTIE YONNY: THE AGREEMENTS ...........................................................................................799
Episode 31 .............................................................................................................................................807
Part 2......................................................................................................................................................807
Episode 31 .............................................................................................................................................815
Part 3......................................................................................................................................................815
14
Episode 32..............................................................................................................................................824
AUNTIE YONNY: THE BOX...............................................................................................................824
Episode 33 .............................................................................................................................................828
Part 1......................................................................................................................................................828
AUNT YONNY: SINS OF THE FATHER ...........................................................................................828
Episode 34..............................................................................................................................................837
AUNT YONNY: ....................................................................................................................................837
SINS OF THE FATHER Part 2..............................................................................................................837
Episode 35..............................................................................................................................................846
AUNTIE YONNY: ................................................................................................................................846
SINS OF THE FATHER, Part 3.............................................................................................................846
Episode 36..............................................................................................................................................854
AUNTIE YONNY: ................................................................................................................................854
SINS OF THE FATHER, part 4.............................................................................................................854
Episode 37..............................................................................................................................................871
AUNTIE YONNY: ................................................................................................................................871
SINS OF THE FATHER Part 5..............................................................................................................871
Episode 38 .............................................................................................................................................881
Part 1......................................................................................................................................................881
AUNTIE YONNY: THINGS HAVE CHANGED.................................................................................881
From The Transformed Heart Of A Woman).........................................................................................889
Episode 39..............................................................................................................................................889
AUNTIE YONNY: ................................................................................................................................889
THINGS HAVE CHANGED, Part 2.....................................................................................................889
Episode 40..............................................................................................................................................904
AUNTIE YONNY: SPIRITUAL SACRIFICES ...................................................................................904
Episode 41..............................................................................................................................................910
15
AUNTIE YONNY: THE LETTER........................................................................................................910

Episode 42..............................................................................................................................................923
AUNTIE YONNY: LET JESUS LEAD YOU.......................................................................................923
Episode 43..............................................................................................................................................938
AUNTIE YONNY: ................................................................................................................................938
THE UNEXPECTED Part 1 PLANS.....................................................................................................938
Episode 44..............................................................................................................................................949
AUNTIE YONNY: THE UNEXPECTED Part 2..................................................................................949
IS YOUR ALL ON THE ALTAR?.........................................................................................................949
Episode 45..............................................................................................................................................962
HOPING FOR THINGS TO COME Part 1...........................................................................................962
Episode 46..............................................................................................................................................983
HOPING FOR THINGS TO COME Part 2...........................................................................................983
Intermittent Waves Recorded From The Transformed Heart Of A Woman...........................................994
Episode 47..............................................................................................................................................994
AUNTIE YONNY: ................................................................................................................................994
HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE...........................................................................................................994
Intermittent Waves Recorded ..............................................................................................................1006
From The Transformed Heart Of A Woman.........................................................................................1006
Episode 48............................................................................................................................................1006
AUNTIE YONNY: ZENOBIA............................................................................................................1006
Intermittent Waves Recorded From The Transformed Heart Of A Woman.........................................1018
Episode 49............................................................................................................................................1018
AUNTIE YONNY: ZENOBIA Part 2..................................................................................................1018
Faith, Having No Respect of Person....................................................................................................1018
.........................................................................................................................................................1026
.........................................................................................................................................................1027
Faith Without Works Is Dead..........................................................................................................1027
Episode 50............................................................................................................................................1041
AUNTIE YONNY: ..............................................................................................................................1041
16
TRANSITIONS AND TRANSPARENCY..........................................................................................1041

AUNTIE YONNY SUMMARY..........................................................................................................1061
SELF REFLECTION: A Look in the Mirror...................................................................................1072
AUNTIE YONNY CHARACTERS....................................................................................................1074
17
PREFACE
18
Sometimes, I let my mind wander. I must confess, lately,

it's more often, than sometimes. Nonetheless, in these
wandering states of mind, I sometimes think about Eternity
with God and Jesus. I'm sure our Father probably is amused
at my rambling, uninhibited, large and vivid imagination
that puts me in a somewhat placid state of being.
Oh, I know that our Eternity begins when we have been

born again and come to know the Father and Son. If you have
been reborn, you are living in your eternal life! However,
what will it be like when we shed these bodies and are
changed to be like Him--God, that is, living in His
presence?
Peaceful, not always quiet, yet, beyond our imagination,

that's how I begin thinking about spending eternity with my
Father, brothers and sisters. I try to mentally eliminate
all the physical and mental barriers and limitations we
have on earth and try to visualize a place beyond the stars
and planets and the known universe.. I think of the peace I
feel, when I'm alone talking to Him. The atmosphere around
His throne must be even more enhanced with tranquility,
majesty and holiness than that which one is capable of
feeling here on earth.
I like to entertain the thought that I will someday have

the privilege to sit at His feet, with Jesus seated at His
right hand and we'll just smile and laugh. I don't know
what at, but, I see it in my own way, as if I've told them
something that has amused us all. Joy, that is the
expression I see upon our faces, sheer joy.
19
I sit there and sing them a song of days gone by and

even the sad times don't bring sadness, but victory. They
earnestly listen with all understanding, knowledge and
visions of the past, because they were there! Throughout
the good times and the bad times, they were there watching
over me.
Oh, there are a multitude of angels and their voices

rise and join in with my singing. I know that I am home,
because our voices assure me I am where I belong. And as
the song fills my heart and washes over me, somehow, I know
that I will never have to sing that song describing my
journey to cross over again. You see, I am done with the
past and I have an eternity ahead of me. When, I am
finished, my Father beckons me to come. He holds me in His
arms and there is nothing like His Love; then, as peace
floods my spirit, I know I have just been touched by Jesus.
I guess I could go on and on day-dreaming and imagining,

but, that is for another time. Here I am now and they are
here inside of me; walking with me and talking with me; and
listening to my thoughts. I am needed here, now. I have a
charge to keep and a God to glorify. I am a vessel to
spread the GOOD NEWS of the KINGDOM, that others may be
reborn to abundant and eternal life.
The word 'eternity' is hard to fathom, when thinking

about it in terms of 'living', especially living it now. I
guess I've been thinking like so many other people. Eternal
life begins after physical death. Perhaps, the ABUNDANT
LIFE part of the scriptures are emphasized more and made
relevant to today. Probably, just another way Satan has
blind-sighted many of us. We are supposed to be
experiencing our eternal, everlasting life, now, but what
distinguishes us to be living an eternal life? Should
people be able to tell while we're living here on earth?
20
Should I be more joyous and ALIVE? Need I be in a hurry to

do things in life anymore? Well, I guess that's where the
abundant life comes in. We can't take tomorrow for granted.
We must live eternally today.
When I have left this body, what will it be like to live

for an eternity? What will I do? Where will I go? Who will
be with me? The Word of God says that we will never tire or
be sick. But, already, I have to stop myself, because I
feel that I'm on the wrong train of thought. traveling down
the wrong track to the wrong destination. Are me, myself
and I going to be my primary focus throughout eternity?
Does God live only for Himself? Already, I have a LOT to
learn about eternity and I better start living it NOW.
Please join me on this new journey of preparation,

growth, fellowship and discipleship. Let us start with
prayer, then, answer some very important questions to help
prepare for our journey.
Father,
We thank you for being in our lives and for your

Son, whom you've given us to follow. Help us to keep
our eyes on Him, that we may forever be close to you.
Father, you have reminded us that tomorrow is not

promised to us and we know not the hour or day when you
will come. Help us to be prepared for the bridegroom;
our lamps lit as we stand, dressed in holiness for the
wedding.
Search our hearts and remove that which hinders us
21
from living and enjoying the abundant and eternal life

you have promised to us. Lord, humble us. Keep us
forever humble and grateful.
Help us to leave the old man inside of us behind

and flourish in the new mind of Christ to be fruitful
and pleasing in your sight.
Please forgive us when we fall short of the mark.

Help us not to become discouraged, but to continue to
fight back the darkness which preys upon your children.
Use us to help one another and lift up the name of

Jesus, drawing all men unto Thee. We pray that when the
day comes and you call our name, we will be listening
and ready to spend eternity with Thee.
In the precious name of The Lamb, Yeshua, Amen
Your servant, united with the One,
mishael
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~
22
Once again, when we look at Jesus' parables, He is

challenging us to examine where our heart lies. Closely
examining your heart, answer the following questions.
DISCUSS your answers with a mature Believer who can guide

you in your spiritual relationship with Jesus and our
Father, and/or have group discussions to learn from those
who have different experiences and perspectives.
QUESTIONS: Write down your questions and discuss them with

a mature Believer or submit them to
https://fsasw.blogspot.com.
1.Do you understand Rebirth? John 3: 8

2.Have you been Reborn through God's Holy Spirit?
3.Do you want to be Reborn?
4.Are you enjoying ABUNDANT and ETERNAL LIFE, now? John
10:10
5.Do you have ETERNITY ahead of you? How do you know?
John 17:1-3
6.How has your life changed?
7.What are you doing or not doing differently?
8.Do you feel CHANGED?
9.Are you looking forward to ETERNITY? Have you given it
much thought?
10.Are you ready for ETERNITY?
11.Are you living NOW like you have eternity ahead of
you? Should you be?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
23
~~
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES
John 3 King James Version (KJV)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
24
Chapter 1
BEFORE WE KNEW SIN
25
Man's Beginning in the Garden

• God created Adam and forms a relationship with him
• Adam becomes caretaker over the animals and the earth
• God created Eve to be Adam's companion and helpmate
• Man is naked and non-corrupted in the Garden of Eden
• God warns man not to eat from the tree of Knowledge
• Satan is aware of man's fate if sin is revealed to him
• Satan tempts man to eat from the Tree of Knowledge
• Man falls to temptation
• Man comes to know sin
• Man hides from God
• Man lies to God
• Man is cast out from the Garden of Eden and forbidden
to return
• Man is unable to return to purity and coming into the
presence of God
Knowing our past history with God and paradise, should

we believe, that man can create new Gardens without God, or
claim our own purity and spiritual freedom from sin,
without Christ and rebirth through God's Holy Spirit?
Can we invite God into what we have created, thinking

ourselves wiser than God to plan for our life and the
future of mankind?
Can we return to nakedness and innocence and claim to

have a higher, freer and more pure state of mind without
26
being reborn through the Holy Ghost?
Can we expect Satan to leave us alone in our self-

proclaimed 'free' state, thinking we are protected from his
lies, trickery and bondage?
Should we believe we are somehow immune to sin and

iniquity because we can be free with our minds and bodies?
Before we knew sin, God was in control. After we came to

know sin, God was still in control. To understand this is
to understand why many people continue to struggle in life.
They still don't understand that since the beginning, God
has been in control of His Creation.
After eating from the forbidden Tree of Knowledge, Adam

and Eve experienced feelings they had never felt before.
Carnal feelings which were in conflict with their spirit.
Then, Satan's lie placed a heavy veil upon their eyes,
blinding and deceiving them, making them believe they could
be free from these fleshly, carnal feelings, if they
covered their bodies. And because he operates on confusion
and deception he continued to confound the minds of men by
spreading a contradictory lie that made them believe that
they could return to innocence, purity and freedom from the
burden of sin, guilt, shame and a sinful, judgmental world,
by removing all of their clothes. So, which one is it, or
can we choose both and free our spirit from bondage?
A free spirit? What is a free spirit? Does it have the

same meaning to every man? Can we free our spirit by
freeing our BODY? Is freedom simply a PHYSICAL THING? Can
the act of freeing ourselves physically also free us
mentally, emotionally and spiritually?
27
Does man have the power to free his OWN spirit by an act
or thought without the knowledge and power of God? Or, is
this just another big fat lie from Satan to place and keep
billions of people in bondage?
And what is man trying to free himself from? Does he

know? Does each individual have the same logic and motive
in trying to free himself? Does he really know what he
should be free from?
When man is at odds with the things and people of the

world, he is constantly searching for a door to ESCAPE!
However, MAN'S methods of escape can only lead to

GREATER bondage, because he is refusing to SURRENDER his
will to his Creator, to let go of the world and die to the
flesh. He may even view his escape as TEMPORARY, with the
knowledge that it requires REPETITION. THEREFORE, he is
placed into greater bondage to habitual behavior which
becomes an ADDICTION, because he is in bondage to the lust
of the flesh (self).
Many do not understand or acknowledge that the methods

of GOD are COMPLETE and FINITE. God provided COMPLETENESS,
the ability to be made WHOLE and free from the sin,
bondage, burdens, oppression, persecution and judgment of a
sinful world. Jesus, sacrificed His life and confirmed upon
the cross "It is finished!" Jesus showed us that we can
CONQUER the sin of the flesh and the world, plagued by the
lies of Satan, which convince man that he is free,
complete, alive, even without the help of God. Man
continues to believe that he can create and pave his own
roads to freedom contrary to God's Divine Plan of REBIRTH
through Jesus' Living Water and Blood, which flowed from
28
Calvary and the purging FIRE of His Holy Spirit.
Can we create our own little paradise on earth and

invite God to join us? Or, can we believe that God doesn't
care about what we DO naked or clothed? Too often, man's
attitude is that God is an absent landlord, who has left
the tenants to have their way with His property and His
servants.
The Many Faces of Rebellion and Bondage
The spirit of rebellion comes disguised as many things.

Our will and state of mind are affected by our heart or
spirit; that which lies treasured within our heart is acted
out as our will. Satan wants us to believe we are doing
things on our own accord, with our freewill, without the
interference of him or others. He can make us believe we
are honoring God instead of rebelling against Him by trying
to liberate ourselves by false means.
Having disobeyed God's command to not eat of the Tree of

Knowledge, God found Adam and Eve hiding in the Garden.
Their intended rebellion against His Will, Way and
Authority in their blinded and deceived eyes, was a means
of liberation and independence, cutting cumbersome ties
holding them back from having the knowledge of God and
being EQUAL to Him, as was also desired by their cunning
and unbeknownst adversary. However, their blunder and fall
from grace produced the opposite. It placed them into
bondage to Satan, who was outside of God's LIGHT, chained
to evil and darkness.
Our merciful Father and God clothed man to cover him,

not to make him believe He had covered his sin, or that it
29
would take it away, but as an act of GRACE and MERCY for

what man would have to ENDURE in a world outside of His
Garden of protection.
There in the Garden was the Tree of Knowledge and the

Tree of Life. The two did not produce the same fruit. The
Tree of Knowledge could not give Adam and Eve Life. God
said that if they ate of it, they would surely die and the
fruit of which they ate made them dead in sin.
So, the fruit of Knowledge cannot free us from sin or

give us life. Meanwhile, God has not stripped us of our
clothing and invited us back into the garden. Clothing
still can neither hold back, prevent sin, nor cover it up.
However, IT COULD HAVE ENDED THERE IN THE GARDEN! Yet, The
God of Grace and Mercy, the Creator of Life and Knowledge,
cast man out of the Garden, and created another WAY to SAVE
us and keep us from sin.
First, we had to die and be REBORN into NEW LIFE,

bringing us back into His Marvelous Light to commune with
Him once again, but this could only be achieved through the
sacrifice of blood. But, mind you, not just ANY blood; not
by the sacrificed blood of an unblemished sheep or goat.
No, something more pure and Holy, which could only come
from GOD. It had to be the LIFE-GIVING BLOOD which connects
the PHYSICAL with the SPIRITUAL; the CLEANSING BLOOD, which
is FREE FROM SIN; and the POWERFUL BLOOD, which would
COVER, shield and protect from ALL sin.
Those who do not believe Jesus' blood can keep us from

ALL sin must think again! In the Beginning was the Word and
the Word WAS GOD! The life-giving blood of GOD flowed
through His Son! God is COMPLETE in His actions! So, by the
Holy, Divine blood of Jesus, we once again became WORTHY to
be in God's Holy presence.
30
Yet, we still have a CHOICE to choose LIFE OR DEATH and

oh, how the flesh can become a stumbling block to the
faithless and those of little faith. Satan confounds the
mind and imprisons those who love the world, making them a
slave to their own flesh. God never intended us to be in
such bondage, but we can neither free ourselves from our
flesh nor give honor to God by believing that covering our
bodies or disrobing our bodies is enough to present us as
free from the sin, bondage and judgment of this world.
We HONOR God when we acknowledge HIS DIVINE WISDOM AND

POWER and the EXTRAORDINARY LOVE, GRACE AND MERCY He showed
us by sacrificing His only begotten Son, allowing us to
become covered by the precious blood of Jesus. It is HIS
sacrifice that frees us, covers us and presents us as
worthy to come before our Father once more. Even more is
our Father gracious in that, it is through the gift of His
Holy Spirit, Whom we must choose to abide in, who will
teach us of Holiness and Righteousness, that we are kept
free and free indeed.
Honor God? Free our mind and body? There is no act that
man can create or do to free himself. Man cannot manifest
freedom of mind, body and spirit. It is a gift, paid for by
the suffering and crucifixion of God's only begotten Son.
Drugs and getting high cannot free your mind. Sex and
fulfilling fleshly desires cannot free your mind. Attaining
power, status and money cannot free your mind. Your mind
cannot be free until your heart is out of bondage.
Honoring God by what we wear begins in a HEART that has

been CHANGED and freed from bondage. Then, can we come and
sit at His table clothed in the Armor of God; not having
31
faith built upon garments or flesh; but, FAITH built upon

the SOLID ROCK, for all other earth is sinking sand.
Satan makes men believe that they can recreate the

Garden of Eden--a new paradise. Yet, God does not want us
to return to the Garden, He has given and prepared a better
place for us for eternity. He has made us joint heirs with
Christ Jesus, His Son, our Brother and Savior.
We, through Christ inherit the Kingdom of God! Why chase

an illusion of the Garden, when you can be free indeed with
The Truth, The Way and The Life and have a Kingdom?!
The PRIDE of man continues to mislead him, giving him

false power and freedom. False power and freedom leads him
to believe he is in charge of his own thoughts and body,
when Satan has corrupted him to live in darkness, loving
his own flesh more than God and taking pride in his OWN
rebellious actions.
Yes, Satan has fooled the minds of many men to believe

that the flesh is the key to happiness and life, knowing
that these men will forever walk dead in sin, having traded
eternal life in God's Kingdom for rotting flesh. Yes, only
The Truth can set you free and the Vine of Truth will keep
you free from sin, when you are ONE with the Father, Son
and Holy Spirit, an effective part of The Body, under the
perfect Mind of Christ.
Children of God, let us lead and encourage everyone to

seek the Kingdom of Heaven and God's RIGHTEOUSNESS, first!
Then, all else shall be added. Let EVERY man REPENT, HUMBLE
HIMSELF, PRAY AND SEEK THE FACE OF GOD!
32
We have His PROMISE, my beloved Brothers and Sisters!
Matthew 6:31-34 King James Version (KJV)
31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we

eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall
we be clothed?
32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles

seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have
need of all these things.
33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his

righteousness; and all these things shall be added
unto you.
34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the

morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.
Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
My Brothers and Sisters, who have come into the Light

through Rebirth, we have an eternity ahead of us. Let us
meet each day believing and living a prepared and blessed
life. Prepared in mind, body and spirit. Clothed in
holiness and righteousness, wearing the Armour of God. We
are Vessels of Light to care for our neighbor, leading
others as Followers, Soldiers and Spiritual Walkers,
working to increase the Kingdom of God! Start LIVING your
eternal life, free of fear, free of bondage, exuding the
unconditional love that has given you everlasting life!
Your grateful and humbled servant, and soldier, hoping and

praying for you, always.
mishael
33
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~



"TO BE OR NOT TO BE"

1.Do you believe that God requires us to dress a certain
way to represent our faith and/or honor Him? Why or
why not?
2.Do you belong to a faith that requires or suggests a
certain type of clothing be worn to represent your
beliefs or honor God?
3.Do you conform or comply to this belief? Why or why
not?
4.How do you feel about people outside of your faith,
religion or culture who do not dress like you? Do you
judge them? Why or why not?
34
5.What do you think and feel when you see people of

other denominations faiths, or beliefs dressed in
attire as prescribed by their beliefs or culture?
6.Does their clothing make you form an opinion about
them? Why or why not?
7.Does their clothing change the way that you treat
them?
FREE SPIRIT OR FREE TO BE ME?

1.Have you ever been ashamed to be naked in front of
someone? Why or why not?
2.If you saw someone naked accidentally, with their
knowledge, did it change your relationship and how you
behaved around one another? Why or why not?
3.Do you enjoy being naked? Why or why not?
4.Do you enjoy being naked around others?
5.Do you feel empowered, more spiritual, pure or free in
being naked?
6.What other feelings are aroused in you when you are
naked? Sexual, exhibitionism, satanic, etc?
7.Do you feel these feelings bring you closer to God or
take you away from Him? Why or why not?
8.Do you share your nudity with others? In a group?
Publicly? Why or why not?
9.Do you believe that your being a nudist will bring
glorification to God? Why or why not?
10.Did God consider Adam and Eve's nudity as bringing
Him glorification? Why did He clothe them?
11.How does nudity honor or show love for God?
12.Are you worshiping yourself (flesh) or God?
13.Is your nudity tied to the world or the Kingdom of
35
God?
14.Who is benefiting more from your nudity, you or God?
15.WHAT should your BODY be for GOD?
16.Is your BODY God's HOLY Temple? Does He dwell within
you?
17.Do you acknowledge God's presence within you in what
you say, think and do?
18.Can God be a part of unholiness?
19.Do you believe that "It is Finished," that is, man's
redemption and salvation was finished through the
sacrifice of Christ Jesus and He has shown us how to
conquer the flesh (self), sin, death and the world?
20.Do you believe that through dying to the flesh with
Christ and becoming One with the Father, Son and Holy
Spirit, we honor God by SURRENDERING ALL to Him?
CAN YOU WEAR FAITH AND HOLINESS?

1.Do you believe you must be dressed a certain way to
attend church or worship? Has this prevented you from
attending worship?
2.Do you pay special attention to what someone is
wearing when they come to church or worship?
3.Do you talk or gossip about how they are dressed?
4.Does your place of worship turn people away directly
or indirectly because of how they dress?
5.Are people covered up with a cloth in your place of
worship because of the way that they have dressed?
Does this shame people? Does it encourage them to
return? Should you buy them what you want them to
wear?How should this be addressed, individually or as
a congregation?
6.Do people come purposely dressed to impress others at
36
your place of worship? How do you know?

7.Should everyone be asked to wear casual attire or,
always dress in their finest?
8.Should we be intimidated or envious of those who have
more than us? Did this matter before we knew sin?
9.When the sacrifice and death of Jesus caused the
tearing of the veil, which had made God only
accessible to the priest, did the removal of the veil
change the garments and rituals of the priests? If
yes, how so?
10.Is God looking at our outside (physical appearance),
inside (heart), or both?
11.Should our outside reflect our inside?
LOVE AND OBEY

1.Do we show our LOVE for God by obeying Him?
2.Part of obeying God is obeying His commandments, one
of which tells us to honor our mother and father,
obeying them, so that we may have long life. Does this
include honoring their beliefs and customs? For how
long are we committed to do this? Does God understand
our commitment and obedience?
3.Is it permitted to change our faith and beliefs from
our parents, family or spouse? Why or why not?
4.Should we be yoked or wed to someone of a different
faith or no faith? Why or why not? Can we demand or
expect them to abide by our faith and beliefs?
5.Should we live a lie just to honor our parents, family
or loved ones?
37
WHAT DO SPIRITUAL BEINGS WEAR?

1.Should we remember that we are FIRST SPIRITUAL BEINGS
created to love and commune with God and glorify His
Kingdom on Earth AS IT IS IN HEAVEN? Why or why not?
Should this influence how we respect and clothe our
bodies as the TEMPLE OF GOD?
2.ARE we our brother's keeper? Should we GUIDE them
always in LOVE concerning being a child of the King
and glorifying the Kingdom?
3.Does your dress or nudity contradict you as a
SPIRITUAL being, HOLY, imitating the character of God
and seeking the Kingdom of Heaven First?
4.God has provided the attire we need to show our faith
and honor Him. Are you WEARING THE ARMOUR OF GOD? Are
you CLOTHED IN THE BEAUTY OF HOLINESS?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~
Matthew 6(KJV)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
38
Chapter 2
HERE I AM, READY TO RESIST AND PERSIST!
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,

saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil,
to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call
upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I
will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and
find me, when ye shall search for me with all your
heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13 KJV
39
Here I am, born again--CHANGED, but the world hasn't

changed. Now that I am no longer of the world, the world
definitely won't understand me, accept me or love me. Wait
a minute, I wanted my life to get better! Is this better?
Well, let's look at our example to follow --Jesus. What

DID Jesus do and how do we follow Him to CONQUER the
world?
• Jesus spoke the Word of God

• Jesus spoke with authority
• Jesus had righteous anger about that which went
against the Will and Way of His Father
• Jesus healed
• Jesus was forgiving
• Jesus wept
• Jesus went off to himself to spend time with God
• Jesus prayed always
• Jesus was not argumentative
• Jesus knew His purpose and could not be tempted or
dissuaded
• Jesus broke with tradition and rituals
• Jesus formed relationships with others
Certainly, Jesus did many more things, but, let's just

focus on those listed within this chapter. What did the
world think about my Savior? Did He find peace in a
tumultuous world? How would Jesus adjust to living in the
world today?
40
Jesus was not consumed by being popular or accepted. He

wasn't in self. He knew who he was and didn't have to find
identity and acceptance in the world. What can compare
with being a child of God, or in His case, being the Son
of God, and having your own Kingdom? Jesus wasn't looking
for peace in the world. He didn't come to bring peace to
the world. He is that peace to those who receive Him!
Did EVERYONE reject Jesus? Did He find people to follow

Him and LOVE Him? What and who was He looking for in the
world?
God sent Jesus to the lost sheep (sinners) of Israel to

show them how to conquer sin and the world. He went about
this by trying to change their hearts and form a
relationship with them. In the beginning, many followed,
but could not stay the course, because they loved and
feared the world more than God. They found that resisting
and persisting was much too hard on their own. They had
not accepted Jesus into their hearts.
CAN WE TRUST THE EYES, EARS AND HEARTS

OF THE WORLD?
What did the world think of Jesus? Some of the

statements that we read in the Bible say that He was
accused of being mad (crazy), evil, and blasphemous, to
name a few.
How would some label Him today? Using some of the

things mentioned within the chapter, we can speculate that
41
some might view Him as having a personality or behavior

disorder or as being a manic depressant. His opposition to
the norms and traditions in His culture would lead some to
suspect that He might be rebellious and somewhat
narcissistic. His change from being the poor, uneducated
son of a carpenter to a perceived religious scholar and
leader of a radical movement, might bring some to suspect
bipolarism, schizophrenia, or visions of grandeur. In that
He was clearly discriminate in who He chose to help, might
provoke some to say that He was prejudiced, biased,
insincere, unfair, mean, evil and definitely NOT called by
God, directed by God, or the Son of God. But, can we trust
the eyes, ears and hearts of the world?
Perhaps, if He came to the United States: The color of

His skin and the way He dressed would automatically put
Him in danger of being deported as a potential terrorist;
labeled as a "bad hombre"; and since His Good News would
not resemble the philosophy, ideology and vague policies
of the ruling administration, He would most certainly be
accused of spreading "false news."
Would our world today be able to understand the

personality and character of Jesus--His highs and lows,
authoritative and sometimes erratic behavior? Would the
world be able to accept what He told them about the world
and our lives today? What would be the reaction? Would He
be able to fit in, or would He go off to Himself and PRAY
for us?
Jesus told the Pharisee He was not ALONE! Would we

deliver Him to the psychiatric ward in the nearest
hospital?
He was the Son of God. He was the Word of God. He did

what He saw His Father Do and His Father spoke through
42
Him. How would the world filled with so many different

religions and ideologies receive Him up front and
personal, in the flesh, TODAY?! I ask this because we who
claim to follow Him need to think about this, look in the
mirror and reevaluate our lives TODAY! WHO AND WHAT ARE WE
LIVING FOR? Does our life reflect Christ?! Have we allowed
ourselves to be assimilated to fit in with the world? Have
we forsaken Christ? Are we still RESISTING AND PERSISTING
to represent OUR FATHER and not the world?
So, then, how are we to live ABUNDANTLY in our eternal

life in a world that will not understand or accept us?
How are we to NOT allow these things to affect us, in

other words, CONQUER the negativity and opposition around
us? We must never forget Christ's VICTORY! Throughout all
of the negativity and opposition that Jesus encountered,
He RESISTED AND PERSISTED, never stooping or falling to
their level of condemnation, confrontation, corruption and
degeneracy.
Colossians 2:14-16King James Version (KJV)
14 Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that

was against us, which was contrary to us, and took
it out of the way, nailing it to his cross;
15 And having spoiled principalities and powers, he
made a shew of them openly, triumphing over them in
it.
16 Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or in
drink, or in respect of an holyday, or of the new
moon, or of the sabbath days:
43
RESIST!
We must not forget what we are RESISTING and fall prey

to the lies of the adversary.
Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but

against principalities, against powers, against the
rulers of the darkness of this world, against
spiritual wickedness in high places.
We live in a world unable to recognize TRUTH because it

serves another master. It gorges on lies fed to it by the
enemy and begs for more. It lifts up ignorant, proud men,
who are unholy abominations, as long as they are thrown
scraps like dogs. They believe they have prospered, when
these men have stolen the herd and feast off of steak,
while tossing them the bowels and innards to satisfy their
hunger.
The enemy knows that a house divided cannot stand.

Today, we are faced with a divided country and a president
who persists in dividing it even further, while trying to
bring down the institutions that hold it up. As we look at
the man and nation he has aligned himself with, we need
not ask why he is aiding them in doing this. We need only
to look at how this current man masquerading as president
of ALL the people of the United States feeds lies to the
nation and world to manipulate them, knowing that there
44
are needy people who will believe him and the master of
evil he serves. All the while, his motivation is centered
upon the profits he will receive from international
business deals, by colluding with the enemy. HOWEVER, HE
SETS A TRAP FOR HIMSELF, BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS NOT IN HIM!
This man claims to believe in the Word of God, then,

let him believe this; the Lord has SPOKEN,
Matthew 10: 26
Fear them not therefore: for there is nothing

covered, that shall not be revealed; and hid, that
shall not be known.
The current administration operates on fear; instilling

fear within the public to distract, confuse and because
they are afraid of the TRUTH being discovered about their
lies and true motives. Know this:
Any leader or government instilling lies, fear and

hatred into its own people is not worthy of leadership.
They do not know God; for lies, fear and hatred are not of
God. Their state of mind and confusion demonstrate a mind
under the siege of darkness and evil. Their rise to power
is not for leadership, but to awaken the people to resist
lies, fear and hatred and turn their hearts back to God.
If we resist and persist, we need not fear the leader's

multitude of lies. We need not fear him sanctioning racial
and religious hatred and violence through vile speeches
and rallies full of hateful rhetoric. We need not fear him
trying to destroy our media; writing presidential orders
to discriminate and hate; to cast out immigrants; or to
45
make the wealthy even more wealthy;. We need not fear him
destroying our institutions, balance of power,
constitution, democracy or our nation. If ignorance is
bliss, then, it is definitely not the American people who
are living in complete ignorance. God has spoken. The
TRUTH shall be revealed, good shall prevail, and evil
shall be cutoff and fed into the fire. In the end, it is
neither Republican, Democrat, Independent, or Green Party
that wins, but the Kingdom of God!FEAR THEM NOT, saith the
Lord!
ABUNDANTLY! Is one living abundantly if they are living

in sin and darkness? God has already given us ABUNDANCE
when He gave us The Truth, The Way, and The Life! Living
in TRUTH, my CUP RUNNETH OVER WITH ABUNDANCE! As ONE with
the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, I am WHOLE, whereas, the
world and those of the world are incomplete!
My Father has claimed me as His Child and I am a co-

heir to His Kingdom! Then, I must REPRESENT myself as a
Child of the King and I must follow in the footsteps of my
Brother, in whom He is well pleased, for I'm living in my
abundant and eternal life, who is CHRIST JESUS! Is this
better? YES! God has given me a total upgrade! I am fully
EQUIPPED to conquer the world and live my eternal life
abundantly, if I follow the Mind of Christ! --IF, I follow
the mind of Christ! I must ABIDE, LIVE in Christ!
PERSISTING IN FAITH
What could keep me from abundant and eternal life

today?
46
Perhaps, I may begin to wonder, "Is the Truth ENOUGH

for me?" Or, maybe I don't know how to abide in Christ or
draw from Him and that which God has equipped me? Perhaps,
I begin to believe the lies of Satan. Perhaps, the burdens
of the world press upon me. Perhaps, I lose sight of Jesus
and forget who I am.
Paul said, "I die daily," and so must we to--LIVE in

Christ. SELF, the flesh, that 'old' man of corruption,
might rise up within us, therefore we must hold FAST to
the Solid Rock! Just as he tempted our Savior, the evil
one will be prowling, trying to roar like a lion, to tempt
us and tear us from our Savior and the Kingdom of God. Be
ye ANCHORED and hold fast to the Solid Rock!
Apostles, prophets, preachers, teachers and evangelists

are given to us by Christ Jesus:
Ephesians 4:12,13
12 For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of

the ministry, for the edifying of the body of
Christ:
13 Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and

of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect
man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness
of Christ:
Yet, as Children of God, we NEED one another and must

function as ONE BODY under the Mind of Christ, for Christ
is the Head of the Body. We must RESIST AND PERSIST
TOGETHER!
When we become born again, our work has only begun and
47
we have only begun to take shape into the form that we

will become. Christ has provided what has come to be known
as the Five Fold Ministry, to help mature the Saints,
individually and collectively, themselves included, that
we would come to work together as ONE effective BODY under
the mind of Christ.
Here I am, BORN AGAIN! Living in my abundant and

eternal life! Yes, united with God as One, man is once
again whole and complete, but God REMAINS the God who
respects FREEWILL. If I choose to change my heart and
return to the world, I have chosen to abandon God, but, He
has not abandoned me, but how grieved the Holy Spirit will
be.
The WORLD hasn't changed, but, I must NEVER forget that

I have changed, because I AM NOT ALONE! I must be BOLD in
the Word! KEEPING THE FAITH! FAITH IN GOD through Christ
Jesus! God has EQUIPPED me to RESIST AND PERSIST and will
never leave me defenseless!
Matthew 10: 17-20
17 But beware of men: for they will deliver you up

to the councils, and they will scourge you in their
synagogues;
18 And ye shall be brought before governors and

kings for my sake, for a testimony against them and
the Gentiles.
19 But when they deliver you up, take no thought how

or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in
that same hour what ye shall speak.
20 For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of

your Father which speaketh in you.
48
Matthew 10:27
What I tell you in darkness, that speak ye in light:

and what ye hear in the ear, that preach ye upon the
housetops.
Wherefore, within these words, I KNOW that God is WITH

ME, MY FAITH LOOKS UP TO THE HILLS from whence cometh my
help! I am endowed with the power to CHANGE those within
the world! I know my purpose because I have been
commissioned to go out and create change, by Christ Jesus!
The way in which I achieve this depends on WHO God created
me to be, therefore, there is no one else who can do this
the way that He has created ME to do this! There is no
reason OR necessity to COMPARE myself with the world or
those OF the world! I am living out my abundant and
eternal life in accordance with MY PURPOSE and MY
RELATIONSHIP with Jehovah God. Amen! Amen!
Jesus the ORIGINAL RESISTER AND PERSIST-ER! The ruling

Jews and Romans saw Him as one man and one voice able to
be silenced. Yet, He created a different kind of army to
conquer them, dividing the Jews and eventually converting
the Romans to Christianity.
The world may think that I am one small voice, but I am

one of many voices commissioned for the work of God, sent
out in every direction. Yes, the world will judge me and
condemn me as they did my Master, my Savior, my Brother
and my friend, who CONQUERED the world. And to this, I
smile and say, "HERE I AM, LORD, READY TO STAND UNITED
WITH MY BRETHREN TO RESIST AND PERSIST! USE ME in my
ABUNDANT and ETERNAL LIFE!"
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RESIST AND PERSIST, my Brothers and Sisters,

for IN THE END, WE WIN!
Thank you, Father!
We glorify and praise Your Holy Name! You are sooo

good to us Father! We love You! We ADORE YOU! Oh, we
praise and magnify Your Holy, Holy Name! Lord thank
You for your Wisdom and Your Divine Plan for our
lives. We bless You and give You All the Praise! In
the name of YESHUAH, YAHWEH, Lord of Heaven and Earth!
Lord of ALL, we humbly say, Amen.
With love, Your servant, united with the One
mishael
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~

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1.Who do you place your faith in daily?

2.Who do you follow daily?
3.Do you plan to resist and persist?
4.Why are you resisting and persisting?
5.Are you planning to resist and persist the Trump
administration? Why or why not?
6.Are you prepared to resist and conquer the world? If
yes, how?
7.What are you doing to resist that in the world which
goes against God's Will and Way?
8.How are you prepared to persist?
9.Can you resist and persist without surrendering your
heart to Christ?
10.What are you doing to be diligent and persistent in
your endeavor of resistance and as Christ's
Ambassador?
11.Are you resistant and persistent only in some areas
of your life or society? (i.e., politics, civil
rights)
12.Can our faith and beliefs be apparent in every area
of our life without imposing them upon others? Why or
why not?
13.If we are to resist and persist for the Kingdom, can
51
we compromise, back down, or give in to fear?

14.If we die daily and live in Christ, can the weapons
of the world formed against us harm us spiritually,
mentally or emotionally? Can ALL weapons of the world,
such as lies, gossip, etc. harm us physically?
15.Have you been influenced by those endeavoring to
invoke fear and hatred within others and allowed fear
and hatred to change how you live? Why or why not?
16.Do you choose to believe or accept lies to use them
as weapons against those you view as different,
unwanted, the opposition or enemy? Why or why not?
17.Do you believe you can conquer the world and its
influence upon you?
18.Do you believe resistance and persistence works?
19.Have you sought out other Believers to help you
resist and persist?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jeremiah 13:18(KJV)
Romans 8:38(KJV)
Ephesians 3:10(KJV)
Ephesians 6:12(KJV)
Colossians 1:16(KJV)
Colossians 2:15(KJV)
Matthew 10 King (KJV)
Titus 3 (KJV)
52
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
53
Chapter 3
CONFLICT:
FUNCTIONING IN THE MIND OF CHRIST
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FLESH vs FLESH
Can you win an argument, try to resolve a situation or

a conflict, functioning in the flesh (self), with someone
who is also acting in the flesh? Have you really won? What
has been the price of victory? What is the prize? Who does
it belong to and benefit? Have you won a soul for the
Kingdom? Have you glorified God? If this is the way you
choose to resolve disputes, are you living abundantly,
STANDING, as Christ directed us to do, until His return?
IT ONLY TAKES A MOMENT
Here I am staring conflict in the face. The person in

front of me or on the phone is thinking, " You can't be
right, because, that would mean that there is something
wrong with me." Perhaps, the conflict began with a
demeaning tone of voice, an accusation, an offensive
action, or a misunderstanding or misconstrued statement.
How do I respond?
Right now, I'm at the point of irritation and

agitation, but my pride is rising up within me. I have a
choice to make. In order to please myself, I can give in
to aggravation, anxiety and Satan's lie that I must
respond and act expediently, be defensive and try to prove
I'm right, smarter, or superior in some way, or humble
myself and allow God to reign over my life, continuing to
live abundantly, appreciating my eternal life.
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Before I act, I must surrender my will and die to self

to live under the mind of Christ. I am not ALONE. I am
part of One, therefore, I shouldn't act on just my behalf.
If I am to CONQUER this world, then, I must realize that
I, I repeat, "I" am nothing without and can do nothing
without God. I am no longer OF this world. I am an
Ambassador of Christ. I should love Him as He loves me.
Therefore, my words and actions should and must reflect He
who I represent. I am speaking to God's creation. One
whose body, soul and spirit He cares for, also. If I truly
love Him, I will OBEY Him. If I love my neighbor as
myself, I will speak in LOVE!
My greatest power lies not in myself, but within the

Kingdom I am a part of. Therefore, I must pray for God's
Will to be done, not my will. I am the VESSEL to usher in
the Kingdom to this time, place, and space on Earth and
into the hearts of others. Therefore, my heart, first,
must be fixed on the Kingdom of Heaven.
Living eternally and having everlasting life means to

understand WHAT LIFE BECOMES IN REBIRTH! It is not merely
an EXISTENCE or cells able to replicate and sustain an
unexplained consciousness. The SOURCE of Life which once
existed outside of the realm of our being, now dwells
within us. Our spirit must be aware of that source to
maintain our existence, for God said in:
Genesis 6:3 King James Version (KJV)
3 And the Lord said, My spirit shall not always

strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his
days shall be an hundred and twenty years.
The spirit knows that the flesh is weak and its days
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are numbered. So, the flesh cannot be the creator and

force that sustains life. The FLESH IS NOT THE SOURCE OF
LIFE, but a VESSEL to replenish the earth and maintain it.
We are SPIRITUAL BEINGS, originating from God and a
Heavenly home, given a SOUL and a body to inhabit that we
may be fruitful and bring God's Kingdom to earth. My life
is not just about me. This conflict that I'm facing is not
just about me! It is an opportunity. Yes, it is an
opportunity! I can seize it for the Kingdom and grow in
the process; for the Kingdom ALWAYS produces INCREASE!
When I know who I am, when I know my roots, I am

empowered to react as a citizen of the Kingdom, by the
Will of God. I am empowered to extend myself and the
Kingdom of God! I am empowered to bring the Kingdom of God
to earth! Too, often we only relate the Word of God to
times of crises to bring peace and goodwill, but, it is in
small or awkward times of adversity and conflict that we
can be most useful and productive. It is time to be
FRUITFUL, binding and loosing!
Matthew 18:18 King James Version (KJV)
18 Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind

on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye
shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
Those of us who consider ourselves to be Believers or

Christians, must REALLY know who we ARE. But, do we? If
so, then what is going on in the world? What is going on
in our lives? Do we pray for God's Kingdom to come and His
Will to be done on earth as it is in Heaven, or, are we
still in SELF? Can we meet CONFLICT in SELF? CAN WE RESIST
AND PERSIST IN SELF? If we are to bring CHANGE to
circumstances, situations and events upon Earth, can we do
it in self? Alone, do we have any power or AUTHORITY? It
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is something to think about the next time we are facing

conflict.
GOT JESUS?
In my previous book, "YOU CAN'T CHANGE ME: Unraveling

the Lie," we explored many of the wrong pathways the heart
can take. Now, if we have truly decided to accept Jesus
into our hearts and be Disciples and Followers, it is time
not only to look at how to put the heart on the right path
to Jesus, but to keep it abiding (living) in Christ Jesus.
We must ask ourselves, how do I recognize the True Light
from the counterfeit? Do I know the voice and presence of
God within me and others? How do I recognize God's hand
and favor?
To begin with, our heart must be CHANGED, meaning, the

treasures in our heart cannot be of the world, or, we will
see, hear, feel, touch and taste with the eyes, ears,
hands, mouth and nose of the world. What do we treasure in
our heart? Is Jesus truly the center of our joy, bringing
us into the guidance, discerning power and favor of God's
Holy Spirit? Does your Father know YOU, because you are
covered in the blood of Jesus and following in His
footsteps?
God CHOOSES us and because we are His sheep we know His

voice, because we are FAMILIAR with the shepherd. This is
not to say that God doesn't speak to whom He pleases. It
is to appreciate the privilege we have as His chosen
sheep, whose hearts follow Him. By this privilege, we come
to know His character, love, chastisement and guidance
through the studying of the Scriptures, through the
teachings of His Holy Spirit, by following His Son;
listening and obeying our Father; and patterning our lives
58
to adhere to His Will and Way.
We can follow obediently and faithfully behind the

other sheep, simply because we recognize His voice. It is
a voice that keeps us safe from harm and guides us to
green pastures, if we obey. Like a child nurtured by
parents, we are nurtured by God's Love and Word and
through love and obedience, soon come to recognize His
voice and the work of His Hands, so that we do not go
astray. This is why it is important to train up a child,
early on, to follow in the footsteps of Jesus, so that
they only follow the Master's voice, learning to walk by
faith and not by sight.
PRAYING
FOR GOD'S WILL
AND KINGDOM ON EARTH
Yes, I could meet conflict by myself, however, I must

always live in my abundant and eternal life. I am born
again! I am not ALONE! Christ and God's Holy Spirit LIVE
within me, waiting to share this experience with me in
love and victory. The battle is not mine, but the Lord's!
I need only to acknowledge His presence within me and
recognize who I am in Christ to realize that this is an
opportunity to shine the Light, be an example, glorify and
please God and respond in love and kindness, treating
others as I desire to be treated.
In the midst of turmoil, as darkness closes in upon me,

whispering ill-will and thoughts of evil in my ear, my
soul cries out, "Hallelujah", as I cast my anchor to grip
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the ROCK. I am One with the Rock, built upon a True

Foundation.
Whether or not people are protesters in the streets for

immigration and civil rights or in conflict with friends,
family, strangers or foes, choices must be made on how to
respond to conflict.
In order to conquer the world, Believers must be

consciously aware of who they are and who they represent,
questioning and seeking answers. How did Jesus meet
conflict? How can I help to open my brother's eyes?
Empower me Holy Spirit! Teach me how to RESIST AND
PERSIST, manifesting the POWER OF GOD!
COMMUNICATION:
But, what if they just won't listen?
In order to help people see righteousness, we must know if

there is a DESIRE for righteousness within their heart.
You could be in the right place, but, asking the wrong
questions. We need to dig down deep inside of ourselves
and others to examine hearts. Do hearts need to be
CHANGED? Are we fighting the WRONG battle? Should we be
fighting or planting? What are our motives? Rebellion
against government? Love for our neighbors? Giving people
choices, rights, freedom and freewill? This is what you
have done, but, perhaps, this is what you could do, or
could do better? We must ask questions to define, clarify
and verify.
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How do we change hearts?-- By cultivating relationships

with others and shining the Light of our Lord and Savior,
Yeshua, Christ Jesus. We become that example that lives
the Word of God and not just talks it. We empower others
to make holy and righteous decisions based upon a heart
connected to God.
It would be wonderful if people made decisions based on

what God would have them do, but not everyone has been
born again and died to the flesh. What would God have you
do often becomes the most evasive and disputed question,
when both parties believe God is on their side. Then, the
answer lies in identifying who God is to each party,
defining His character, then identifying His common Will
revealed to them both. Thereupon, will they see
righteousness and an agreement can be made that binds them
by the Will of God and not by the will of man. This is a
highly sensitive matter that can become volatile if not
handled properly and given time to evolve. Based on the
model of relationship building, it works best, first, with
individuals, who may or may not be accountable to larger
groups. Instilling these values into the younger
generation helps to create respect for cultural diversity,
alleviate the strains of globalization, and helps to
stabilize racially divided and polarized communities,
helping them to find commonality, ongoing mutual
cooperation, respect and dialogue.
As Jesus taught His Disciples, He showed us that

Relationships and Communication are key, when it comes to
conflict; and within that relationship must be a desire
for holiness.
--Holiness which keeps us humble.
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18 At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus,

saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of
heaven?
2 And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set

him in the midst of them,
3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be

converted, and become as little children, ye shall
not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
4 Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this

little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of
heaven.
--Holiness which contains unconditional love.
John 13:34
A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one

another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one
another.
John 15:9
As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you:

continue ye in my love.
--Holiness which desires to serve others.
Matthew 20: 25-27 King James Version (KJV)
25 But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Ye know

that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion
over them, and they that are great exercise
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authority upon them.
26 But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever

will be great among you, let him be your minister;
27 And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be

your servant:
--Holiness which teaches us forgiveness of others.
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses,

neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
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Matthew 18King James Version (KJV)
21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft

shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?
till seven times?
22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until

seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
Therefore, our Father, commanded us to, ..."Be ye holy;

for I am holy." 1 Peter 1:16 King James Version (KJV)
Without that HOLINESS, there is a break down in
relationships and communication leading to:
• isolation
• distrust
• suspicion
• disenfranchisement
• rumors, gossip and hearsay
• spying
• animosity
• hostility
• violence
• war
When you are tossed and driven, to and fro, in a world

filled with chaos and people who do not know how to resist
and persist, who will you rely upon? Who will you call
upon? Who will you run to? Who will keep you from being
sucked up into the whirlwind to become part of the rubbish
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and destruction and the aftermath of the storm? Who or

what will keep you from LOSING IT, going berserk, having
no hope or misplacing your faith? Can we place FAITH in
worldly governments, allowing it to corrupt our morals and
values, or remove our faith in God? Or, should we instead
be seeking ACCOUNTABILITY of governments to their people?
Let us not be misled by conflict within the world.

Conflict can create extreme confusion. Your heart can
become so confused, hurt and torn, that rational and godly
decisions are difficult to make. Decisions of the heart
may isolate us or cause us to be shunned or ridiculed by
others. Can you love people of different races, cultures,
ethnicity, religions, political beliefs, etc.? Can you
still love your unfaithful spouse? Can you still love and
support your wayward child or friend? Is the love within
you strong enough to ENDURE hurt, pain, criticism, pride,
shame, guilt, distrust and the ongoing pressure and
uncertainty around you?
Yes, the love within you should be strong enough to

endure, for it should be the love of GOD. Wherefore, it
cannot be about any kind of love for your husband, wife,
family or friends. Only one kind of love can be strong
enough to endure. It must come from He Who Endures forever
and ever. It MUST be God's love within you, which comes
from your FAITH and BELIEF in God being REAL. Does your
faith have SUBSTANCE? Does it come from your HEART--your
SPIRIT?
One cannot use the term 'strong enough,' without

acknowledging that strength to endure comes from God!
Without God, one cannot have strength or endure.
Therefore, in order to resist and persist in holiness and
righteousness, through the mind of Christ, your BELIEF and
your FAITH must be REAL, CONCRETE, EVIDENT; not only in
65
your word, but in your ACTIONS. Can you CLING TO THE ROCK,
throughout the storm, holding fast because of your
undeniable FAITH in God's ability to keep you and that
which is the essence of you within...for ETERNITY? This
determines my quality of abundant life, within this
conflict I am faced with here and now, and if I will enjoy
abundant life without the frequent chaos and conflict of
the world trying to sink my ship, and drown me in the
depths of darkness.
SACRIFICE: Can You Drink From the Same Cup?
There are times when we are confronted with conflict,

when we must decide if the situation requires sacrifice or
forgiving others, for they know not what they do. Thus, we
may become conflicted. Our cross may become heavier to
carry. The road may become harder to traverse, unevenly
paved with rocks and stones, or pitted with holes, too
narrow to carry the load easily, winding and climbing up
hills, then plummeting down along side of dangerously
steep gorges. On the way, we may be met with even less
welcomed adversity. Enemies may stone us, shout and hurl
accusations against us, spit upon us and curse our name.
Are we ready and willing to sacrifice for the Kingdom of
God or are we filled with an illusion of abundance and
eternity in paradise, catering to our whims and desires?
Oh, this may paint a glib picture of our eternity, but

it is a reality we must be prepared to constantly live in
if we truly desire to follow Jesus and bear our cross. The
adversary sets a trap for us at every corner, hoping we
will be unaware. To confront adversity and conflict, as
Ambassadors of the Kingdom, we must speak boldly in Truth
or ask ourselves: Are we following Jesus only in our
imagination; Are we serving and praising God only with our
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lips; Can we drink from the same cup as Jesus; or, do we

intend to follow, carrying our cross, pretending to not
know where the road ends? Where did the "Way of Grief",
the Via Dolorosa end in Jerusalem for the condemned
Messiah? Have we truly died with Him and become reborn to
eternal life? Then, we are no longer OF the world! Christ
has DEFINED us!
There are too many believing themselves to be Believers

who are in an identity crisis, not knowing who they are
and what it is to BELIEVE! When the cross gets heavy and
we're forced to carry it down an impetuous rocky road,
where we are jeered and scorned, can we drink from the
same cup? We know where the road ended for Christ, who was
without sin and blameless!
So, when conflict arises, the question still remains in

that quick moment, "What will you do?" If need be, can we
drink from the same cup of our Lord, and Savior, Yeshua?
Can we humble ourselves? Can we bear the cross? Can we
accept the fate of the cross and die to ourselves for the
sake of our brothers and sisters?
Oh, we know that Jesus has already paid it all, making

the ultimate sacrifice of His life for our sins. Still, to
save a soul from death, will you die to yourself and LIVE
IN CHRIST under a NEW MIND...the mind of Christ? Will you
let HIM take control? Will you allow God to speak through
you to help someone know the holiness and righteousness,
goodness and love of their Heavenly Father?
Peter was always eager to show his loyalty to Jesus and
prove how much he loved Him. But, when they arrested Jesus
and the time came to drink from the same cup, Peter wasn't
ready. He denied knowing Jesus three times. Do we do any
less, when we fail to sacrifice self for our brother? Like
Peter, we are putting the importance of who we want to be
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in the world, before who we should be in Christ.
Still, Jesus went on, alone, to meet conflict, humbly,

because of His love for us. Jesus accepted the sacrifice
of His life to give us a New Life, free of sin, abundant
and eternal.
PREDATORS
We have a choice to die daily and function in the Mind

of Christ, in that we will be fruitful and a blessing to
others. Each day is a REALITY CHECK, an opportunity to
look into our life and the way in which we love, who we
CHOOSE to love and serve, reevaluating our faith and
asking, "Am I choosing to live abundantly and eternally,
or, have I settled for the superficial? Is my love based
on CONDITIONS? Do people in my life have to HAVE SOMETHING
or DO SOMETHING or BE SOMEBODY, for MY benefit to deserve
or be worthy of my love, attention and respect? Have I
been made perfect in love?
If I seek people out who meet certain qualifications

solely for my benefit, then, I am a predator. Whereas,
most people desire to form HEALTHY, SPIRITUAL
relationships, there remains a population of unhealthy
people exploiting or taking advantage of others, who
thrive off of unhealthy, predatory behavior that feeds off
of darkness, pride and selfishness. They are incapable of
truly loving others because they neither know what love
is, nor do they wish to, because they are lovers of
themselves.
There are people who are directly or indirectly misled
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by worldly values, who engage in predatory behavior or

become favorable prey for predators because they lack a
real spiritual foundation in God. They are plagued by the
disappointment, disillusionment and heartbreak of
unsuccessful relationships entangled in conflict.
Predators are constantly engaged in some type of conflict,
which follows after and attaches itself to predatory
behavior (i.e., bullies, womanizers, rapists, thieves,
etc.). They will lie, cheat, demean others and resort to
various ill-means and numerous sins to get and keep what
they want. They are blinded by Satan and have come to
accept their behavior as normal and/or necessary.
Within the animal kingdom, within every ecosystem,

there is a natural, innate hierarchy of the species
according to predators and prey. We are faced with similar
circumstances within the social hierarchy of man, which
can be attributed more to the spiritual heart of man than
the human genome. Outside of cannibalism, instead of
considering human prey as an edible food source, human
predators prey upon others to: avoid having to obtain
their own means of survival through sustenance and assets;
to exert their power, status or authority over others; and
to feed their ego (pride). They usually aren't open to any
reasoning or compromise, that interferes with their
primary objective to victimize or achieve some type of
satisfaction or gain from their victim(s). They may see
the other person as benefiting from their relationship
because they are the better or more worthy person.
I have often been concerned for my teenage grandson,

who at the age of fourteen had reached six feet tall and
now at the age of fifteen has surpassed that, adding to it
a body with a muscular build. Typical of that age, is the
tendency for young boys to challenge one another in order
to exhibit their male prowess, to engage in fearlessness
and establish status within their peer group. My grandson
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is very strong and tactically capable of defending himself

among his peers, but he also has a huge heart, to say that
he is very compassionate and kindhearted. I have sometimes
had concern for his ability to safely handle his peers,
when facing hostile situations and to be prepared to
properly confront predators. Even more disconcerting, is
the risk of police involvement and the stigma attached to
being a Black male.
One day, he arrived at my home and told me he had just

been stopped on the street and confronted by a group of
boys he knew were out and about trying to create trouble.
In the past, he had been challenged by boys testing him to
join their gang, so of course, I was horrified by this
news. However, this young man looks at me confidently and
consolingly and tells me, "Don't worry grandma, I've got
it." Somehow, I knew I had to accept this, if he was to
become a man.
My mind turns to King David, when he was a shepherd

boy, whose kind and loving heart played upon his harp and
sang praises to God. Yet, if a predator came near his
sheep, he was ready to strike in an instant with his sling
shot. It was his heart and love for God that gave him the
courage to fight Goliath. He went on to be a mighty
warrior in King Saul's army and a god-fearing king, who
had the favor of God.
Just as David, tried to convince Saul and his men that

he was capable of handling Goliath, now, I know that I
must accept that my grandson has "got it," because, God
gave him that heart, just as He gave David his. As long as
he keeps loving and obeying God, I know, he'll have God's
favor.
Training up a child in the way in which they should go
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begins with leading their heart to holiness and

righteousness, whereby, they learn to resist and persist,
but, there are times when holiness and righteousness must
be manifested in arms in order not to yield to darkness.
A fearless heart like David's had to be trained to fear
God. As I look upon my grandson, towering over me, about
to become a man, I know, that is why God has given him to
me. Within the Mind of Christ is the the fear and
reverence for God. As we walk the straight and narrow
path, following our Lord, we do not fear man, but our fear
of losing sight and favor of God, keeps us listening and
obeying our Father's voice.
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A NEW APPETITE
Perhaps, the best way that I know to describe what

takes place when the heart lets go of the world and
accepts Christ, creating a renewed mind or soul, is to
relate it to acquiring a new APPETITE; a new appetite,
which leads us to hunger for holiness and ONLY God, who is
Holy can satisfy that craving inside of us. We can only
acquire that holiness by dying to self and surrendering to
the the Mind of Christ.
Since we have drank from the Fountain of Living Water,

we thirst no more in the world for life. As we accept Him,
we drink from The Well That Shall Never Run Dry. Through
Christ, we taste and see the goodness of the Lord and no
other can compare to OUR FATHER and the Perfect Love that
He has and gives unto us.
Christ requested us to break bread and drink wine

together in remembrance of Him. It is not so much a
sentimental gesture as it is an empowering reminder of the
APPETITE for Christ, so that we continue to "Taste and See
the GOODNESS of the Lord"; an acquired taste and a
discriminating pallet, which recognizes Holiness,
reminding us of the Holiness that should be within us and
upon us and is indeed within us as we remember to abide in
Christ.
Even more does it remind us that it was Christ's desire

to sacrifice His body and shed His blood, giving it freely
to save us. So, must we sacrifice and surrender ourselves
freely to the Will and Way of God. Therein, do we conquer
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death and this world, free and free indeed to live out our
lives in abundance, ...eternally.
Conflicts will arise within our lives, more often

unexpectedly, than expected. Yet, in that critical moment
from decision to action, one must have an APPETITE, a
HUNGER FOR HOLINESS and a desire for righteousness,
compelling us to SURRENDER our will and submit to the MIND
OF CHRIST!
As God's soldiers, we must be prepared for whatever

form of battle God has chosen for us to fight, RESISTING
AND PERSISTING, PREPARING THE WAY, SHOWING THE POWER OF
FORGIVENESS, GAINING COURAGE, STRENGTH AND ENDURANCE FOR
BATTLE FROM GOD, knowing that He is with us, as He was
with David. Yet, to maintain His favor, let us remain
obedient to His Will and Way. Let us not forget our real
adversary and the god in whose name we fight, remembering
the battle cry of David, claiming that no weapon formed
against us can harm us because of our God, who is with us
(1 Samuel 17:45 KJV)
Yahweh has renewed our minds and set us upon the path
of The Truth, The Way and Life, so that whatever comes our
way, we can continue to be fruitful, resting in the Mind
of Christ and His Holy Spirit. Hence, we can say, "It is
Well With My Soul."
With love, Your servant, and soldier, united with the One
mishael
1 Samuel 17:45 King James Version (KJV)
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45 Then said David to the Philistine, Thou comest to

me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a
shield: but I come to thee in the name of the Lord
of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou
hast defied.
Isaiah 54:17 King James Version (KJV)
17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall

prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against
thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the
heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their
righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~



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FLESH VS FLESH
1.How often do you argue and fight flesh with flesh?
2.What is usually the result of your approach to
conflict?
3.Have you been reborn?
4.Has your mind been renewed? How do you know?
5.Are you aware of the Mind of Christ?
6.Do understand what it means to STAND until Jesus
returns?
IT ONLY TAKES A MOMENT

1.Do you try to stop and think about who you are in
Christ before you react to conflict?
2.Do you acknowledge the presence of Christ and God's
Holy Spirit within you before facing conflict?
3.When in conflict, do you lash out at the other person
because you take it very personally and see them as
being the adversary?
4.Do you find it hard to humble yourself?
5.Do you feel you must immediately defend yourself,
instead of waiting and talking to God?
6.Do feel that you are alone?
7.Do you see yourself as a spiritual being and a vessel?
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GOT JESUS?
1.Do you feel that you have accepted Jesus into your
heart?
2.When do you abide or rest in Jesus?
3.How do you feel when you are resting in Jesus?
4.Do you think differently?
5.Are you at peace?
6.Are you resting in Jesus when you run ahead of Him and
try to solve problems in the flesh?
7.Are you picking and choosing the parts of your life
that you are willing to surrender to God?
8.Do you feel that you can recognize the True Light from
the counterfeit?
9.Can you recognize the Master's voice?
PRAYING FOR GOD'S WILL AND KINGDOM ON EARTH

1.When faced with conflict, do you pray?
2.What do you usually pray for?
3.Do you pray for God's Will to be done on earth and in
your life as it is in Heaven?
COMMUNICATION: But, what if they just won't listen?

1.Are you a good communicator? Why or why not?
2.Do you try to form relationships with people to
understand them better? Why or why not?
3.Are your relationships suffering because they lack
holiness?
4.Have you been made perfect in love to love
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unconditionally through Christ?

5.Do you desire to serve others?
6.Are you satisfied with just serving others?
7.Do you get more satisfaction by being in charge?
8.Is it necessary for you to feel important or to have
influence and status?
9.Do feel that you live in holiness? Why or Why not?
10.What makes you holy?
SACRIFICE: Can You Drink From the Same Cup?

1.Do you understand the sacrifices you must make as a
Believer?
2.Are you willing to sacrifice to lead others to follow
Christ and be drawn to God?
PREDATORS
1.Have you been the victim of a predator?
2.Do you consider yourself to be a predator? Why or why
not?
3.Do you try to have healthy relationships, giving and
not just taking from the other party?
4.Is it important for your friends, acquaintances,

family or the people you respect or associate with to
have money, material wealth, status, employment,
independence, fame, good looks, or problems with
identity and values?
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QUESTIONS: A NEW APPETITE

1.What do you treasure or desire in your heart?
2.Are there worldly or carnal things that you desire or
treasure?
3.Do these things influence how you respond or react to
the pressures around you?
4.Do you hunger for holiness?
5.How do you fulfill your desires?
6.How do the things that you treasure affect your life?
7.Do you feel that God is your all-in-all and only He
can fulfill all that you desire and need?
8.Is it easy for you to forgive others? Why or why not?
9.Do you want others to forgive you? Why or why not?
10.Do you want God to forgive you? Why or why not?
11.Is there more power in forgiving than in holding a
grudge and giving your power to someone else? Why or
why not?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Genesis 6 King James Version (KJV)

1 Samuel 17 King James Version (KJV)
Matthew 18 King James Version (KJV)
Matthew 20 King James Version (KJV)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Intermittent Waves Recorded
From the Transformed Heart of a Woman
Episode 1: BEE
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Episode 1: BEE
Lying in her hospital bed, in her last moments, Bee

dreams of the life she shared with her husband, Merle, at
the little marriage chapel. She's standing in front of the
bejeweled, lighted mirror, adjusting her Marilyn Monroe
wig, when her son, Denny, comes up from behind her,
picking her up and sweeping her off of her feet. He had
returned home from the army, but now, he says that he must
leave again. He gives her a big kiss on the cheek, waves
goodbye and disappears, leaving her saddened.
She awakens to the loud beeping of the monitor beside

her bed and sees a nurse standing over her adjusting the
tubes and cords that have become her connection to life.
The nurse checks her watch and documents the event and
time on her chart. With the renewed silence, she drifts
away, returning to her dreams.
It's morning and Merle is replacing a burned out bulb

in the ceiling light fixture of the little chapel. Bee is
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holding the ladder steady. In walks Luke, the young man,

she met in the chapel last night, who gives her a
beautiful corsage to wear, smelling of live red roses,
that he says will never wilt or die. She smiles and gives
him a big hug. The flowers are a delightful change from
the old, wilted, left-behind wedding corsages and
artificial flowers she usually adorns. Luke gives Bee a
kiss on the cheek and walks toward the door.
Merle looks at her surprised and perplexed. She turns

to him blushing, folding her hand to her heart and
teasingly tells him, "Why that's Luke, my new beau,
Merle." Bee gives Merle a playful wink, then, calls out to
Luke. As he turns and smiles, she waves goodbye and blows
him a kiss. Turning to look up at Merle on the ladder, she
finds that Merle has disappeared, too.
The dream repeats itself, as dreams often do, but this

time, she is the one waving goodbye to Luke, who is alone
in the chapel, on his knees praying, as silent and
unresponsive as on the day that she met him. She leans
down and whispers in his ear.
"Don't be sad, Luke, Jesus changed everything."
Walking toward the door, she smiles, turns to blow Luke

a kiss and disappears.
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Chapter 4
DEATH Part 1
LOOKING INTO THE EYES OF SIN

Romans 6:23 King James Version (KJV)
For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of

God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our
Lord.
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LIVING WITHIN THE KINGDOM
GOD HAS NOT CHANGED! He is the same god who will punish
an entire nation because of the sin of one man. Achan, son
of Carmi, son of Zabdi, son of Zerah, from the tribe of
Judah, whose disobedience and greed led him to take
tainted spoils of war (gold and silver and a Babylonian
garment), sinned against God and in doing so endangered
the entire nation of Israel. (Joshua 7:1-26)
Like many in the world today, he also did not realize

that God never changes and His Word is to be obeyed! He is
the same God who was provoked to wrath and righteous anger
to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah to stop the spread of its
sexual immorality and corruption to others.
God never changes. He is the same God as He was in the

Old Testament in the New Testament. The only thing that
has changed is His covenant with man, the condition of our
relationship with Him. Jesus changed everything, giving us
salvation from sin, rights to the Kingdom of God and a
pathway to return into God's presence. In His presence,
living within the Kingdom of God, there is a Divine Order.
We are no longer 'of the world', having become citizens of
the Kingdom. We live by Divine Order. If we truly love and
obey God, there is NO compromising. God's Will must be
done on earth as it is in Heaven! God has not changed and
never will! Yes, man has freewill, but there are
consequences to disobeying God and living outside of the
Divine Order.
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God told the people of Israel not to do as the

Gentiles. Jesus instructed His disciples not to do as the
Pharisee and Sadducee. Paul told the early Christians that
they must not do as they saw people of the world doing.
Believers live by a different standard, always trying to
reach the mark of Christ, God incarnate; Jesus, who is
God's gift to us for salvation and the example of the
perfect man, who enables us to conquer the sin of the
world.
If I am living ETERNALLY in abundance, I am not living

eternally within the carnal world, but within the Kingdom
of God. Neither can I pattern my life after those of the
world, nor can I condone, excuse or rationalize the
behavior of those of the world. My eternal life should be
a contrast to that which does not reflect God's Will and
Way intended for His Children, offering others an example
of abundant and eternal life.
There are times when I must be a sounding voice,

heralding out, sounding the alarm of impending or
penetrating evil that has invaded and threatens the lives
of God's people. I must sound the alarm to awaken those
who have been put to sleep by the enemy, making them
unaware or unable to recognize the danger that is in their
midst. I must counteract those who have become complacent
and compromised, who do not accept the responsibility of
resisting and persisting, who might see me as more of a
threat to harm the people, than the actual threat itself;
those who move out of the way and allow the wolf to come
and have its way with the sheep.
Yes, they may see me as being a threat, misguided,

controlling, judgmental, lacking the love and compassion
of God. So did they label John the Baptist, Jesus, Peter,
and James, and John, and Andrew, Philip, and Thomas,
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Bartholomew, and Matthew, James the son of Alphaeus, and

Simon Zelotes, and Judas the brother of James. They were a
threat to the people who wanted to remain in sin and
chained to bondage. The Pharisee and Sadducee allowed the
people to live in sin and among sin, because it made their
sinful lives look more holy.
Often within the history of Israel, we find that the

Jews were unable to see Truth and unwilling to restore
order as they believed disorder and disobedience benefited
them. Sin was left to spread like a cancer. The people and
the land remained UNHEALED because of their refusal to
uphold holiness and righteousness, cast out sin, repent
and turn back to God. There was complacency and a
normalization of sin as we see in the world TODAY.
Believers do not live as if they are CITIZENS OF THE
KINGDOM, LIVING WITHIN THE KINGDOM OF GOD.
QUESTIONS: LIVING WITHIN THE KINGDOM
1.Do you believe sin is an isolated incident that

doesn't affect others? Why or why not?
2.Do you believe that whatever we do affects those
around us? Why or why not?
3.Have you seen sin spread from one person to the next
like a disease?
4.Many young people are impressionable because they are
inexperienced in many areas of life. New experiences
are tempting to them. Without good role models,
boundaries, rules and laws, we expose them to risks
and danger. If we care about them and others, should
we speak out about sin, which can only lead them to
death?
5.If there is a dangerous highway where you must avoid a
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cliff and certain death, don't you want warning signs

and caution lights?
6.Shouldn't we be preparing the way of the Lord and a
light unto others?
7.Are we our Brother's keeper?
SIN EQUALS UNFORGIVABLE WHEN (SIN=?)
MATH TIME:
Is sin plus sin equal to sin? Or, can sin plus sin be
greater or equal to sin? Wait, I'm confused. What are we
talking about here, just more sin or greater sin? We need
numbers. Sin is not a number. How do we know one sin
equals another sin? How do we equate sin? What does it
matter? Jesus died for our sins and we can repent and be
forgiven. Can't we?
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QUESTIONS: SIN EQUALS UNFORGIVABLE WHEN (SIN=?)
MATH TIME:
1.Have you been under the impression that all sin is

equally the same?
2.Blasphemy against God's Holy Spirit (Ghost) is
blasphemy against God for they are one and the same.
Saying that Jesus had an unclean spirit was calling
His Father, Jehovah God, who dwelled within Him,
"unholy." and accursed. Thus we should be careful how
we speak of our Brothers and Sisters. Is God simply
offended by name calling or does this offense speak of
something much deeper, stronger, and contagious?
SIN, DISPELLING THE LIE
During the time of Jesus's life on earth, people did

not see all sin as being just another sin, meaning, none
was any worse or greater than the other. Their history
from the time of Moses had taught them that SIN IS LIKE
UNTO A DISEASE, it spreads like cancer. It does not setup
a household and keep to itself. It doesn't have its own
lifestyle deserving rights and privileges. It is not a
harmless drug to be legalized for everyone's use. It
doesn't have lesser or greater degrees and charges of
misdemeanors and felonies. It doesn't just affect the
abused and the abuser. It doesn't just affect the
unfaithful husband or wife.
Sin doesn't travel alone. It brings more sin with it,

because misery loves company. There is no such thing as
harmless sin. Sin is synonymous with DEATH. Sin isn't
87
temporary it leaves a "crimson stain" that won't come out

by itself, You can't use just 'any' stain remover on sin.
John the Baptist came telling the people that they were
living in sin and needed to repent. Jesus added to
repentance that the Kingdom of Heaven was at hand. Jesus
made the people look at sin differently. For those who had
ears to hear, He opened their eyes to the love, compassion
and forgiveness they should have for one another and the
sins that they committed by the lack of these things.
Like a few other sins, people knew that blaspheme

against God was a sin punishable by death. Certainly, most
of the people thought they had nothing to worry about
because they would never commit blasphemy against God.
However, Jesus told them that Blasphemy against God's Holy
Spirit was a sin unforgivable in this life and the next.
But, what is blasphemy against God's Holy Spirit and what
makes it an unforgivable sin?
QUESTIONS: SIN, DISPELLING THE LIE
1.Can we simply look at all sin the same way? Why or why
not?
2.The adversary uses sin as a weapon, bringing waves and
plagues of a specific sin to destroy large numbers of
people. Sometimes he targets specific groups, genders
or age groups. When, we see an increase in a
particular sin, we know that there is a particular
demonic influence and plan of the adversary. Is it
fair to target this specific sin if others are
committing like sins?
3.Can we afford to ignore it?
4.Could God be trying to tell us something by allowing
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this particular sin to spread?

5.Should we heed God's warning or try to be fair or
politically correct?
THE CONSEQUENCES OF DISOBEDIENCE:
Believers today have become complacent and in denial

concerning sin within their lives, in the church, their
communities, the nation, and the world. People believe
that it is best to be fair or politically correct and not
offend those who want to normalize sin. The stance they
have taken in being politically correct or compromising,
is to allow everyone to live as they please, within a free
country. They do not see themselves as being part of the
sin. The same mistake the Israelites made over and over
again.
Most people do not see themselves as having the power

to do anything, while sin within society continues to
affect them, their families and communities. While they
believe they are weak and powerless, racists, bigots,
misogynists, liars, traitors and thieves are doing
everything within their power to become more powerful and
thus, have succeeded in coming to power and running the
country. Drug dealers are killing more people everyday.
Why is it that those in Darkness are perceived to have
more power than those who serve The Almighty God?
Believers are showing more of a commitment to the world

and the principles of the world than to being committed to
uphold the Will, Way and Word of God, to advance God's
Kingdom on Earth. Do Believers no longer fear and
reverence God? Where do we draw the line or has the line
disappeared?
89
Today we have many activists groups. Many speak out

about gun control and the devastating effect it has had
upon certain demographic areas. We have anti-abortionist
and pro-abortionist groups rallying around the country. We
have lobbyists and caucuses, legislators and others trying
to improve our criminal justice system and the systemic
racial discrimination that has imprisoned thousands and
cost the lives of many minorities. It is acceptable to
speak out for and against man's laws. Now, atheists go on
television with ads speaking out against God. It is a free
country, or is it? How are we looking at sin? Through
whose eyes are we seeing sin? Through God's eyes our
country is in bondage, sick and in need of healing! WHO
WILL SPEAK FOR GOD?! WHO WILL DEFEND THE WORD OF GOD?!
Where there is sin, there is DEATH!
Are there no True Believers to show the power given to

the Righteous of God? Are there no righteous men to expose
the blasphemers of the Holy God? Do we as Believers
seeking abundant and eternal life understand the
punishment for Blasphemy? Let us look at the dictionary
definition of blasphemy.
Definition of blasphemy
1a : the act of insulting or showing contempt or

lack of reverence for God
accused of blasphemy : the act of claiming the

attributes of a deity for a mere man to suggest that
he was … divine could only be viewed … as blasphemy
— John Bright †1889
2 : irreverence toward something considered sacred

or inviolable
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https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/blasphemy
Many Believers not only see no harm in blaspheming the

name of God, they often unknowingly commit blasphemy. For
many the fault lies in not understanding what blasphemy
is. In 1 Timothy 1:13, Paul confesses that out of
ignorance, he regularly committed blasphemy against God,
killing and persecuting Christians because of his unbelief
in Christ, as the Son and Word of God. Paul blasphemed
against the Word of God. In the beginning was the Word and
the Word was God! At that time in his life, Paul
unknowingly had no fear or reverence for the Holy God.
We find the act of blasphemy mentioned many times in

the Old and the New Testament of the Bible. It is
important to God that we hold that which is HOLY in
reverence and respect the authority that it has as being
PART of God (i.e., The Word of God, The Holy Spirit of
God, The Doctrine of God, The Commandments of God, The
Authority of God). The following scriptures show how
serious the offense of blasphemy is to God and how through
word and deed the Jews and their enemies did not heed
God's warning to refrain from this offense.
1 Timothy 1:13
Who was before a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and

injurious: but I obtained mercy, because I did it
ignorantly in unbelief.
Psalm 74:18
Remember this, that the enemy hath reproached, O

Lord, and that the foolish people have blasphemed
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thy name.
Ezekiel 20:27
Therefore, son of man, speak unto the house of

Israel, and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord God;
Yet in this your fathers have blasphemed me, in that
they have committed a trespass against me.
Mark 3:28-30 King James Version (KJV)
28 Verily I say unto you, All sins shall be forgiven

unto the sons of men, and blasphemies wherewith
soever they shall blaspheme:
29 But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy

Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of
eternal damnation.
30 Because they said, He hath an unclean spirit.
Matthew 12:31-32
Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and

blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the
blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be
forgiven unto men. And whosoever speaketh a word
against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him:
but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it
shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world,
neither in the world to come.
1 Timothy 6:1
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Let as many servants as are under the yoke count

their own masters worthy of all honour, that the
name of God and his doctrine be not blasphemed.
2 Timothy 3:2
For men shall be lovers of their own selves,

covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient
to parents, unthankful, unholy,
Titus 2:5
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good,

obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God
be not blasphemed.
John 10:33
The Jews answered him, saying, For a good work we

stone thee not; but for blasphemy; and because that
thou, being a man, makest thyself God.
Colossians 3:8
But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath,

malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your
mouth.
Revelation 2:9
I know thy works, and tribulation, and poverty, (but

thou art rich) and I know the blasphemy of them
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which say they are Jews, and are not, but are the
synagogue of Satan.
QUESTIONS: THE CONSEQUENCES OF DISOBEDIENCE
1.Which sins do you see as being normalized, approved,

condoned and encouraged in society today through laws,
media, entertainment, music and religion?
2.Does acceptance by others, make it hard to resist and
persist some types of sin?
3.Are young people confused and misled by acceptance of
sin by society?
4.Do you feel comfortable in speaking out about sin?
5.Do you fear being labeled or criticized for speaking
out about one sin and not another? Why or why not?
6.Has God called you to speak out against sin in the
world? Have you obeyed?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~

examining your heart, answer the questions within the
chapter.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~
Psalm 37 King James Version (KJV)

Acts 5 King James Version (KJV)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~
95
Chapter 4
Part 2 DEATH:
THE ATTITUDES OF LIARS
For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of

God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our
Lord.
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THE ATTITUDES OF LIARS
• Rejection of God's Word: No one always tells the truth

• No one will ever know or find out
• Pride: I'm better, smarter or more capable than others
• Guilt and/or Shame: I'm protecting myself or someone
else
• Selfishness: Why should I have to share with others?
• Others may not be worthy of the truth
• Hatred: They deserve to be hurt
• I don't care about them and they don't care about me
• I'm getting revenge and/or satisfaction
• Greed: I deserve more than others
• I need or deserve and they don't
• Rationalize and Justify being double-minded
• No true Foundation in God
• Use Truth to their convenience
"That one Believer would lie to another is astounding.

It says and reveals a multitude of things."
The one who professes to be a Believer, obviously does

not truly believe in God's Word. Perhaps, they have not
heard or do not believe the account of Sapphira and
Ananias and how they died instantly due to their lying to
God's Holy Spirit. The liar shows that they do not fear
97
God, love Him or obey Him. To be able to lie to their

neighbor, they do not love them as they love themselves.
The lying Believer makes one question if the Holy

Spirit is indeed dwelling inside of them, and if so, then,
they have no problem with grieving God's Holy Spirit.
Their lying shows that they are lovers of themselves and
the corruption of the world. It proves that they serve two
masters.
The liar's dysfunction and disregard for the Body of

Christ, shows that they neither care about harming the
rest of the Body, nor, want to be a cooperative, effective
and fruitful member. They have rejected Christ as the Head
of the Body and following His Mind. They are not ready or
worthy to follow Christ, because they have picked up the
plow and looked back, longing to turn back, claiming and
taking on the ways and things of the world.
It is apparent that the Believer refuses to surrender

all to God, because they believe they need to be in
control. They have turned their back upon the Truth, the
Way and the Life. They prove they cannot be trusted and do
not put all their trust in God. They have blasphemed
against Jehovah God; for to be a lover of oneself, putting
oneself above God, holiness and righteousness is to
idolize oneself, making oneself a god.
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QUESTIONS: THE ATTITUDE OF LIARS

1.Do you feel that you are better or more deserving than
some people? If so, which people? Why?
2.Do you rationalize or try to justify being untruthful?
3.Do you lie or tell the truth only when it is
convenient for you to do so?
4.Have you ever looked at lying as rejecting God or
blaspheming His Word?
5.Have you lied or do you lie to avoid feeling guilt or
shame?
ANANIAS AND SAPPHIRA
Within the Book of Acts 5, God gives us an example of

selfish Believers clinging to the world, believing they
can deceive God's Holy Spirit. I have inserted an excerpt
from my previous book, which helps to explain the account
of Ananias and Sapphira.
Acts 5 (KJV)
But a certain man named Ananias, with Sapphira his

wife, sold a possession, And kept back part of the
price, his wife also being privy to it, and brought
a certain part, and laid it at the apostles' feet.
But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine
heart to lie to the Holy Ghost, and to keep back
part of the price of the land? ...
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You Can't Change Me: Unraveling the Lie, Part 4

DETAILS
CH 19
I ❤ YOU: Prove it!
Ananias and Sapphira, like many people who claim to

be Believers, thought they were entitled to their
privacy, when it came to their finances and private
lives. Clearly they had something to hide, but, why
do people cherish and protect their privacy so,
even when they have nothing to hide? Usually, they
are afraid of what others might think about them
and how they will be judged. Some people
automatically compare themselves to others and
judge themselves. And what drives these
compulsions, making us think highly of ourselves or
underrate ourselves? --Pride.
Ananias allowed pride to breed a sense of

entitlement and greed within him. He thought more
highly of himself than he did of God and His
Kingdom. Clearly, he underrated and underestimated
God's Power and saw Peter as just another man he
could lie to, cheat and deceive. Ananias was
already dead in sin.
Knowing what her husband had done, like Abigail,

who brought supplies to David and his men to save
her household (1 Samuel 25), Sapphira could have
redeemed her household by telling Peter the truth.
Would she have been seen as betraying her husband
or being faithful to God? Where should her loyalty
lie first? Should she allow her husband to lead her
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into sin and death? Should she put her love for him
above God, Truth, Holiness and Righteousness?
Because Sapphira followed after her husband in sin,

she followed him in death. Was this punishment or
death coming to claim it's own? Since it happened
immediately and was so fearfully shocking and
abrupt, we might see it as God striking them down
in wrath. However, the couple had already claimed
their wages and the wages of sin is DEATH! THEY
chose death over eternal and abundant life in God's
Kingdom. God simply removed His HANDS of SALVATION,
MERCY AND GRACE and ALLOWED Death to claim them.
It is only by God's HANDS that we are spared and

live to see another day. Ananias withheld from
God's HANDS what rightfully belonged to Him.
Therefore, God withdrew His HANDS OF MERCY. We
cannot esteem ourselves more worthy than God.
Ananias and Sapphira didn't KNOW God. Had they

known Him, they would have known better than to
think that they could deceive His Holy Spirit
within Peter. Had they known God, they would have
shown it by OBEYING Him.
They had no intention of knowing God; for they

loved the things of this world and esteemed
themselves better than God and everyone else. They
idolized SELF and put self first at any cost, so,
God withdrew His hands, because they were already
dead.
In writing to Timothy, Paul warns Timothy about others
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who, having lost the faith, have fallen into blasphemy. He

charges Timothy to hold fast to his faith and fight the
good fight, not being swayed by false doctrine. Hymenaeus
and Alexander, were Believers who were in opposition to
Paul; who denied the resurrection of man after death,
instead, claiming that resurrection occurred when one is
awakened, or in other words, became aware of sin.
1 Timothy 1:18-20 King James Version (KJV)
18 This charge I commit unto thee, son Timothy,

according to the prophecies which went before on
thee, that thou by them mightest war a good warfare;
19 Holding faith, and a good conscience; which some

having put away concerning faith have made
shipwreck:
20 Of whom is Hymenaeus and Alexander; whom I have

delivered unto Satan, that they may learn not to
blaspheme.
Now that I am BORN AGAIN, living abundantly and

eternally, my walk must be a selfless walk, if I am to be
WORTHY to walk in my Saviour's Footsteps! I must see
others with NEW EYES, through God's eyes. If I truly
BELIEVE, then, I am able to discern false doctrine because
I recognize my Master's Voice.
Ananias and Sapphira were not aware of the Holy

Spirit's manifestation of DISCERNMENT through Peter.
Ananias and Sapphira Believed, but, had not received God's
Holy Spirit, because they were lovers of themselves.
Hymenaeus and Alexander also lacked discernment. As
Believers, they lost their way and strayed from their
faith, because they did not follow the MIND OF CHRIST!
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QUESTIONS: You Can't Change Me: Unraveling the Lie, Part 4

DETAILS (Ananias and Sapphira)
1.As a Believer, have you ever been in a position where

you felt the need or desire to lie to another
Believer? Did you lie to them? Why or why not?
2.If you lied to them, was it because you didn't believe
they were a Believer?
3.Were you just acting in the flesh?
4.Did you see them as just being another man or woman in
the flesh?
5.Did you think about them having God's Holy Spirit?
6.Did you care if they had God's Holy Spirit?
7.Did you consider that you might commit blasphemy?
8.Did you care if you committed blasphemy?
9.Did you fear God? Did you fear death?
10.Will you think before lying to another Believer
again?
11.As a Believer having God's Holy Spirit, do you care
about lying and grieving the holy Spirit?
12.Is lying a regular part of your behavior or how you
treat some people?
13.Knowing that lying is a sin, should you lie to
anyone?
14.Can you make excuses for lying?
15.Would God forgive us and allow us to deceive our
enemy to save ourselves and others?
16.When you lie, are you acknowledging the presence of
God?
17.Are you respecting God and showing Him reverence,
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love and obedience?
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Chapter 4
Part 3 DEATH:
LIES, DECEIT AND COVERT OPERATIONS
For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God

is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
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When we look into the eyes of sin, no matter what the

sin is, we can see 'death'; for the wages of sin is death.
Even in our efforts to do right, we can be blinded in
recognizing sin and bondage. The adversary has devised
many ways to disguise darkness as light. The adversary
tries to use us to advance his own agenda, attempting to
fill us with lies and deceit, operating covertly to serve
him.
Recognizing sin, resisting and persisting, rests in

having a clean heart, united with the One, following in
the footsteps of Jesus, rooted in a relationship with God,
and with our eyes first seeking the Kingdom of Heaven.
Contrary to the belief of some, the institutional

church can be a vital part of our growth and fight against
the darkness. It has remained as an incubator for many to
become born again and as an important teaching facility to
introduce and grow in God's Word.
However, as one grows, one must become aware of their

growth, position and purpose within the institutional
church. If you are not growing, then, you must assess what
is stunting your growth.
QUESTIONS: ASSESSING YOUR SPIRITUAL GROWTH

1.Have you moved into a position of resisting and
persisting that which goes against the Word of God? If
not, are you growing?
2.If you have established your growth and position, what
is your purpose in remaining in the institutional
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church?
3.Are you involved in true DISCIPLESHIP or are you just
maintaining the status of a MEMBER?
4.Has God positioned you for CHANGE within the church?
5.Has God positioned you to bring growth to others?
6.Is God preparing you for your purpose or mission?
7.Are you still clinging to the world?
8.Are you still clinging to self?
9.Have you been fed lies by the adversary concerning
what the church is and the meaning and act of
fellowship?
10.Are you remaining faithful to religion, tradition and
rituals within the institutional church because it is
part of your heritage and loyalty to family
affiliation, denominational preference, education or
ordination?
11.Are you satisfied with just being a contemporary
designed Christian instead of a Disciple of Christ?
12.Is it easier for someone else to tell you what to do
and how to do it, instead of being ACCOUNTABLE and
RESPONSIBLE?
13.Do you serve the institutional church or do you serve
God as an Ambassador and Disciple of Christ?
14.Are you just going to church to look good in the eyes
of society and those close to you?
15.Are you able to see and recognize sin and bondage?
16.If you see and recognize sin and bondage, are you too
afraid to step out on faith and do something about it?
17.Perhaps, you just don't know where else to go, or
what else to do?
18.What is GOD telling you? Are you listening? Are you
obeying? Have you tried?
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19.Are you seeking TRUTH or are you content in living a

LIE?
20.Are you living abundantly in your eternal life if you
cannot look sin in the eye and see the death that
creeps upon you if you do not resist and persist?
RESTORING ORDER
WHO WILL RESTORE ORDER? GOD ALMIGHTY! GOD OF HEAVEN AND

EARTH!
HE WHO IS HOLY AND RIGHTEOUS! FULL OF GRACE AND MERCY!
PRAISE HIS HOLY NAME!
Whenever mankind became too corrupted, God knew that He

must restore order. He was willing to flood the earth,
leaving only Noah and his family to replenish the earth.
He was willing to destroy all of Sodom of Gomorrah to cut
off the sin that had consumed it. Whenever the people of
Israel went astray, disobeying God, He would punish the
people to cut off the sin that corrupted them. He
destroyed all but a remnant of the Tribe of Benjamin to
wipe out the sin that had consumed it. The people of
Israel were scattered and put into bondage by other
nations and rulers. Prophets were sent time and time again
to warn the people that God was not pleased and to turn
from their wicked ways.
Deuteronomy 7:9 KJV
Know therefore that the Lord thy God, he is God, the

faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with
them that love him and keep his commandments to a
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thousand generations;
Then, Jesus was sent to form a new covenant that would

forgive man of sin and provide a way to keep him from
sinning. Therein, was man's relationship with God restored
and a new plan and way to restore order. Through Jesus and
God's Holy Spirit, God made us accountable to one another;
to function as members of One Body with Christ as the
Head.
Therefore, as a member of the Body of Christ, in order

for the Body to have order, I must follow the Mind of
Christ and be accountable to the other members of the Body
who are depending upon me.
If I am to be used by God to restore order, I must be

willing to suffer pain and shame in Jesus's most precious
and holy name. This is the area where most Believers fail
and resort to sin and lies. They have not learned to
humble themselves and their pride leads them to protect
themselves to avoid pain, guilt and shame.
If I am to be used by God to restore order, then, I

must be able to resist and persist, in order to spread the
TRUE GOSPEL OF THE KINGDOM, calling the people and the
nation to prayer, repentance, seeking God's face for
restoration and healing of the land. I cannot resist and
persist without keeping my eyes on Jesus and abiding in
Him and God's Holy Spirit. I must submit to wise counsel
and be accountable to God and the Body of Christ. That
which I offer to my brother must be done and given in
LOVE. All that I do must be to glorify GOD and to bring
His Will to Earth as it is in Heaven. I must never forget
the power of prayer, fervently praying, unceasingly, in
constant communion with my Father.
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QUESTIONS: RESTORING ORDER

1.Do you feel God can use you to help restore order in
your life and the lives of others? How? In what
capacity?
2.Do you live abundantly and eternally, knowing that God
is in control and will restore order?
THE COUNSEL OF GAMALIEL, THE PHARISEE
Acts 5:37 King James Version (KJV)
37 After this man rose up Judas of Galilee in the

days of the taxing, and drew away much people after
him: he also perished; and all, even as many as
obeyed him, were dispersed.
38 And now I say unto you, Refrain from these men,

and let them alone: for if this counsel or this work
be of men, it will come to nought:
39 But if it be of God, ye cannot overthrow it; lest

haply ye be found even to fight against God.
40 And to him they agreed: and when they had called

the apostles, and beaten them, they commanded that
they should not speak in the name of Jesus, and let
them go.
41 And they departed from the presence of the

council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to
suffer shame for his name.
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42 And daily in the temple, and in every house, they

ceased not to teach and preach Jesus Christ.
God will make a way, even out of no way, as is often

said by Believers. He will open and close doors so that we
may do that which He has prepared for us to do. We must
never forget:
1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he

leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths

of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the

shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art
with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence

of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my
cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the

days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of
the Lord for ever.
QUESTIONS: THE COUNSEL OF GAMALIEL, THE PHARISEE

1.Gamaliel used examples of other men, who had risen to
fame, who were proven in time to be false prophets and
messiahs, as reason for his argument that the Apostles
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should be left alone. Why do you think that Gamaliel

reasoned differently than the other pharisee?
2.Does Gamaliel appear to place his faith in God being
in control and restoring order, in taking matters into
his own hands, or in waiting for luck and chances?
3.Gamaliel cautions the others not to interfere because
they don't know if what is occurring is an act of God.
Such a decision can be very difficult to make when
people are being affected by new ideas, doctrine and
actions. We must ask ourselves, do we resist and
persist or allow things to run their course?
4.Should we resist and persist against changes that have
adverse affects in the lives of others causing
suffering or pain?
5.Should we resist and persist against that which
encourages, condones, or spreads sin?
6.Jesus's teachings uprooted the traditions, false
doctrine and rituals of the Jewish religion and
jeopardized the corrupt practices of the ruling elite,
the Pharisee and Sadducee. Today, many traditions and
rituals remain within the institutional church. Jesus
did and said things to show the people that because
they clung to these things, they were in bondage. If
these things remain, then, the people are still in
bondage. Why do so many people choose bondage instead
of worshiping in spirit and in truth?
7.Is it because they do not recognize bondage and going
against the Word of God as sin and death?
8.Is the institutional church giving the people a false
illusion of salvation, Christianity, abundant and
eternal life, by tying them to tradition and rituals
which hinder their growth and relationship with their
Heavenly Father?
9.Should we resist and persist against this or heed the
counsel of Gamaliel and allow it to run its course?
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10.Are we our Brother's keeper?

11.As Disciples, how are we to bring in the lost and
awaken the sleeping, if we simply allow them to be
misled and led to the slaughter?
12.What would be the difference between our resisting
and persisting to lead others to The Kingdom of God to
worship in Spirit and in Truth and the Pharisee and
Sadducee interfering to stop the Apostles?
13.Did the fulfillment of the prophesies and
resurrection of Jesus prove Him to be the True
Messiah?
14.In our resistance and persistence against bondage and
darkness, and in spreading the True Gospel and helping
to expand the Kingdom, are we continuing to do the
work of Jesus?
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Chapter 4
Part 4 DEATH:
CAPITAL GAIN?
115
When the Israelites went up against the people of Ai

and conquered them in battle, Achon, son of Carmi, son of
Zabdi, son of Zerah, from the tribe of Judah, thought he
could gain monetarily by keeping part of the spoils for
himself. Thus by lies, deceit and covert operations, he
plotted to keep the thing hidden from all of the people in
the tribes of the nation of Israel. He buried the treasure
in his tent and thought that no one would be the wiser,
but God knew and made the transgression known to Joshua.
It was up to Joshua and the people of Israel to restore
order, or God would take away His favor and withhold His
blessings. Because of one man and one sin against God, an
entire nation would be punished, if they did not restore
order. (Joshua 7:1-26)
Today, we look at inner city violence and the war-torn

countries in the world, shaking our head and praying that
the violence will end because there has been too much
bloodshed and death. We know that chaos, disorder, radical
ideology, hatred, prejudice and hostile rhetoric of any
kind is dangerous in nature and capable of bringing harm
to others and the possibility of leading to countless
deaths. When we are overwhelmed with too much violence
around us, voices cry out that something has to be done to
protect the people and restore order. However, we live in
a divided country and world, overshadowed by darkness;
darkness within our own country, which has stripped many
Americans of truth and allegiance. We are faced with
leaders who feel no allegiance to God or country, but, who
instead are enslaved to ignorance, hatred and what they
believe to be the "almighty dollar."
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Our news is filled with headlines shouting and

announcing new events pertaining to LIES, DECEIT AND
COVERT OPERATIONS surrounding the corrupt regime that has
taken our government hostage. The administration uses the
cunning tools of their master, the prince of lies, to
continue to stir up chaos, create confusion and widen
division. Yes, the adversary is their master for God is
not a god of confusion or chaos, neither does He operate
in lies and deception. Many Believers hoping for change
for the better continue to be lied to and deceived. This,
of course, is of no concern to our president, who himself,
claims to be a Believer, working on behalf of Evangelicals
and other misled Believers who have supported him.
As the people look to the president to restore order

within the country, he has turned the country over to an
enemy, who seeks not only to destroy us, but the ideology,
structural balance of government and institutional
stability that weaves the very fabric of Democracy that
strengthens us as a nation and a leader within the world.
The president has inundated us with lies to distract us

while those around him work to achieve the real objective
of this administration, which is to transact policies and
business deals on behalf of themselves and the Russian
government. Lies, deceit, and covert operations against
the people of the world and the children of God; lies not
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only to man, but to one nation under God; lies to the Word
of God; and lies to God's Holy Spirit--blasphemy.
Midst all of the sin against God, lies, deceit, and

covert operations, who will restore order? --YAHWEH will
restore order and He will use those who TRULY BELIEVE, who
are the Righteous of God. The wicked shall be cutoff.
Psalm 37: 1,2 King James Version (KJV)
1 Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be

thou envious against the workers of iniquity.
2 For they shall soon be cut down like the grass,

and wither as the green herb.
How foolish of Putin, Trump and their cronies to

believe that Democracy is simply IDEOLOGY, CONSTITUTIONAL
LAWS, POLITICAL AND GOVERNMENT STRUCTURE, BALANCE OF
POWER, INSTITUTIONS, CAPITALISM, and a piece of LAND
filled with gullible, over-indulged and complacent PEOPLE!
God dwells within the hearts of many Americans and the
millions of people within democracies!
Our enemies have miscalculated their odds! They

misjudged and incorrectly analyzed their foe! Had they
been ABLE to see sin through God's eyes, they would see
their certain death and demise. As unbelievers, they were
foolish not to believe there is a GOD! He is neither a god
that can be deceived and lied to, nor will He forsake His
children and leave them to be devoured by wolves. They
believed their foe could be defeated and was incapable of
knowing what was transpiring before their eyes! However,
God doesn't need intelligence agencies! God doesn't need
cameras and the media! HE IS OMNIPRESENT AND ALL KNOWING!
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He has promised NEVER to leave His children ALONE! And He

shares His knowledge with those He calls FRIEND!
Psalm 119:21 King James Version (KJV)
Thou hast rebuked the proud that are cursed, which

do err from thy commandments.
If we, as Believers are to truly live abundantly,

eternally, we must understand the cunning mind of the
adversary who can convince us that we are gaining or
helping others by supporting the lies, deceit and covert
operations around us. Therefore, we must be able to see
and recognize sin in the different forms it takes to
mislead us. God has not changed as to that which He
considers to be sin, lies, deceit and malicious cover-ups.
As Believers, we should look through God's eyes, past the
desires of the flesh, to see that the lair of sin contains
the trap of death, ready to be sprung, leaving us trapped
while the smell of death begins to close in around us.
One might ask, "Why so many questions, instead of

providing more information and the answers to the
questions?" Although, we are all following The Truth, The
Light and The Way, as Believers, we each will have a
unique walk with Jesus. Sometimes, we may not know which
way to go to keep us on the right path. Asking ourselves
questions, and acknowledging that God is there to help us
find the answer, can help us to find the direction we are
supposed to take at that point in our lives and stay on
the right path. Questions help us to examine what is in
our heart and determine if we are following the Mind of
Christ, before we take actions or speak. As you get in the
habit of asking yourself questions, I believe you will
discover that: God is always there waiting for you to have
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a conversation with Him; to guide you with unconditional

love; and to comfort and encourage you with blessed
assurance, throughout your life.
QUESTIONS: CAPITAL GAIN

1.Why do you think most Trump supporters and republican
government officials accept, condone, ignore, or are
indifferent to the lies and the lies of his
administration?
2.Can we benefit from sin within our lives or within
society? How so?
3.If there is only temporary earthly gain, should we be
concerned with the lies that are being fed to the
people? Why or why not?
4.In what ways does their lying harm other people?
5.Do you care if many people are hurt by the lies,
deceit or cover-up, or are you just concerned about
trying to gain from the republicans being in charge of
passing legislation to benefit your interests? Is this
the Mind of Christ?
6.Can we have the Mind of Christ when we engage in
politics?
7.Is our government supposed to be an example of how we
should live and what we teach our children? Why or why
not?
8.If the government is representative of the values of
the people who supported and elected them, then, do the
values of the Trump administration represent the
current values of his supporters?
9.If so, how does the world view the values of his
supporters and the American people?
10.Are trust and reputations easily mended and regained?
11.If lies and sin cannot benefit the Trump
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administration in God's eyes and in the eyes of the

righteous, and they continue to lie, then what is the
attitude of the Trump administration towards God, His
Word and Righteousness?
12.Do Trump supporters see themselves as benefiting from
the lies of Trump and his administration?
13.Do you see yourself as gaining from any lies told by
the Trump administration? Why or why not?
14.If you know that they are telling a lie and you see
no reason of opposing or correcting the lie because you
feel that it will benefit you, does that make you
guilty of sinning against God's Word also?
15.Were you aware that blaspheme was more than just
taking the Lord's name in vain or speaking against it?
16.Do you show irreverence for God by regularly using
expressions like OMG or using His name to curse and
swear?
17.Do you rank the degree of how bad or terrible you
consider a sin to be?
18.Do you see all sin as being the same?
19.Within some societies, cultures, or races, a behavior
that one considers a sin may be more acceptable than in
others. Do you accept, condone, ignore or become
indifferent to some sins because they are more
acceptable within your society, culture or race?
20.How does your decision to lessen the harm of sin
align with your faith, the Mind of Christ, The Word of
God and God's Will and Way?
21.Can we pass on our practice of lying and sin in
government to future generations?
22.If you study African history and politics, you will
find that colonialism had a direct effect on the way
that politics is transacted and how many current
governments are run. The corrupted colonizers of many
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African countries ran corrupted governments, passing

the practice down to the governments of the countries
when they gained independence. Is it fair to say, that
we in America will be faced with similar problems if we
do not cast out corruption within our government and
restore accountability to the people?
23.Paul said that God forgave his blasphemy because he
was ignorant of what he was doing. Can you claim being
ignorant to the lies, deceit, and covert operations
that have been brought to light with the current
administration?
24.Can you claim ignorance to God's Word, Will and Way?
If you cannot, should you knowingly support those who
lie, deceive and practice corruption and illegal acts
against the people?
25.Are you looking into the eyes of sin knowing that it
ends in death? Or, are you only seeing what you want to
see in the flesh, (self) to see what you can gain?
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chapter.

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QUESTIONS: Write down your own questions and discuss them

with a mature Believer or submit them to
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Joshua 7(KJV)
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Chapter 4
Part 5 DEATH:
THE HARROWING EXPERIENCE
124
As God continues to grow and prepare me, He often takes

me through new and unexpected experiences. One that I
shall never forget, left me understanding what it meant
when Paul told Timothy that Hymenaeus and Alexander had
been "delivered unto Satan, that they may learn not to
blaspheme."
I was new to a church and an older woman had taken me

under her wing. Each Sunday, I had sat next to the woman
and the Spirit inside of me had grieved, causing me to
weep profusely, unable to stop the tears. Then, things
began to change for the worse and she turned on me when I
corrected something she was teaching in her class. She was
very arrogant and insensitive in her teaching, often
making fun of and offending other women concerning very
serious matters. She had become a Christian, later in her
adult life and had not led a godly life before then,
however, she seemed to have amnesia of those days when it
came to judging others. She boasted of her position within
the church and within the church conference. She made
light of people in the conference not liking her, but she
didn't care and it didn't matter because, our pastor, who
was prominent throughout the conference district, always
had her back, because as a good church member, he knew he
could always depend upon her. Unlike, some other people,
she said, she had nothing to worry about.
The Holy Spirit led me on several occasions to speak up

and clarify or correct something that was being
incorrectly taught to the people, when the floor was open
for comments. I had verbally told this woman about my
church history, my education and biblical teachings
throughout my life, but, because I was younger and clearly
still an outsider, they questioned my knowledge of God's
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Word and if I was a godly woman. She and her friends began
to attack me through snide remarks and innuendos, accusing
and condemning younger, single women who come to church as
coming to steal their husbands. I was scrutinized for what
I was wearing and made to feel extremely uncomfortable
within the group.
I continued to go because God had led me there and as a

prophet I was learning to be obedient to His Will. One
morning, His Holy Spirit told me it was time to confront
her about the change in her behavior towards me. I was
nervous and didn't quite know how to go about it, but God
told me not to worry, He would be with me and give me the
words to say. I stayed after class and asked to meet with
her. Calmly, I brought to her attention incidents and
attitude changes I had noticed since I began participating
in her class. She began to vehemently deny everything,
even what she had taught in class. I was clearly saying
things that made her very uncomfortable and as she became
more and more uncomfortable, I began to speak truth into
her life which frightened her. It was when I mentioned her
attitude toward rape victims, that she jumped up out of
her chair and looked at me oddly, shocked, frightened and
ready to run and escape. I had been speaking of things
that touched her life directly and she exclaimed that she
was a rape victim. She continued to deny everything and
said that she would hear no more and had to go.
I knew that she would go directly to the pastor, who

himself had a changed attitude towards me and barely said
anything besides, hello. He had a very low opinion of
women and did not believe in women as preachers within the
church. But, God spoke to Him and revealed who and what I
was to her. Well, from then on, I had the plague and she
had told everyone else, what I had been trying to get her
to see from the beginning, I had a calling and an
anointing as all Believers do, but, I had no desire to
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announce it, flaunt it or think myself special. I was just

another servant of God. However, as Believers, we all
should have respect and love for the God that dwells in
each other, without passing judgment upon one another.
Well, if I thought things were bad before, than it was

good that I couldn't see the future. It seems that I
became the focus of her scorn and the object of her
lessons. She would glance at me, but couldn't look me in
the eyes. She began to teach about the Five Fold Ministry
the very next Sunday and when she came to the word
prophet, she glanced at me and for seconds, could not say
the word. She finally stuttered and got the word out of
her mouth, saying "prophet."
God had told me that when it was time for me to leave,

I would not leave alone. Very soon, I was not called to go
back for a while. When, I came back, I found someone else
teaching the class. I found out what happened during
prayer requests. Our teacher had cancer of the mouth.
Unexpected and unexplained, cancer of the mouth. Her good
friend who spoke out against me had gone blind in one eye.
Coincidence? I've learned not to believe in coincidence
just as there is no such thing as luck! I was shocked!
Although, she had repeatedly lied to me and they had told
lies on me and mistreated me, I would never want anything
bad to come to anyone! Was I the cause of this? I couldn't
accept that. I was distraught and dismayed. What had I
done?
That Monday, not knowing what to do, I had to call my

mentor, to tell him what happened and hope that he could
calm me down and straighten me out. One of the first
things I said is that, I didn't sign on for this! I can't
be responsible for anybody being harmed or dying! When I
think about it, it was quite a dumb thing to say, but,
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that was then. I know that I didn't sign on for anything,

God chose me. I understand the attitude of liars, the
discernment of God's Holy Spirit and the punishment for
blasphemy against God's Holy Spirit. I understand that if
God removes His hand of mercy from us, the enemy and death
can have their way. Me and I had nothing to do with the
disease that fell upon my Sisters. I am a vessel. However,
during my time of distress, I just wanted to be
disconnected from what had happened.
I did not return to the church for a while and when I

finally returned, our teacher was back, but not in
teaching capacity. I saw her sitting across the aisle in
her regular seat. She glanced at me briefly. One of her
friends was busy, scudding and scurrying about, making my
presence known to others. I could see her nodding towards
my seat, looking at me, as if identifying me from a police
line-up, blaming me and warning others. No one dared sit
close to me, I had the pew conspicuously, all to myself.
After many months, I returned knowing it was the final

time and I would be saying goodbye to this experience. I
remember it was in October and I just needed a light
sweater for the mild weather. I took the bus and walked to
the beautiful church building, one last time. I was late
and the church was pretty packed by then. I sat in the
back, but, the pastor, who was speaking saw me come in and
take a seat. He looked at me remorsefully and in a sad and
very apologetic voice he told the congregation that he was
so very glad to see me again. He said that he had missed
me and had so hoped that I would return. At that moment I
knew that God had used me to soften and humble the heart
of this very proud and hardened man. I'm sure that many
other changes took place also and I had grown in the
process, leaving behind, but never forgetting this
harrowing and humbling experience.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I am to be WORTHY to walk the straight and narrow

path, I must KEEP MY EYES ON JESUS! Under the Mind of
Christ, I have no desire to diminish, demean, judge or
bring harm to any member or the rest of the Body of
Christ. Therefore, I must try to be healthy in mind, body
and spirit, keeping the faith, in order to be a fruitful
member. Under the Mind of Christ, I must remember Christ's
commandment to love the rest of the Body as He has loved
me and as I love myself. Therefore, I respect He who
dwells within OTHERS, refraining from blasphemy against
God's Holy Ghost.
Do I love the Word of God? Do I hunger for holiness and

righteousness? Then, I should understand that words and
actions against the Divine Word of God is BLASPHEMY! I
should not condone, support or vote on anything or anyone
who goes against the Word of God!
How greatly do I ERR, when I believe I can judge

another Believer or others, thinking that I am greater or
smarter than they are. Have I forgotten He who can dwell
within? Do I believe He who dwells within? Do I believe
the WORD OF GOD?! The Word of God says that with God ALL
THINGS ARE POSSIBLE; with God, MAN can do ANYTHING! If God
be in ME or my BROTHER, how can I question their
CAPABILITIES? By doing so, I QUESTION MY GOD, HIS POWER,
WORD AND HIS WILL! Perhaps, I deem someone unworthy to
possess the Spirit of God and question that God's Holy
Spirit dwells within them. Perhaps, I don't possess God's
Spirit myself and don't know what it is to do so. It is
time to take a reality check. Am I living abundantly
destined for eternity? Do I recognize sin and death and
can I resist and persist?
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God said to esteem others GREATER than yourself. We

must keep in mind that God uses whom He pleases. Our HOPE
should be that He uses our Brother to do His Will and to
exalt and glorify the Kingdom of God! If we have the mind
to judge our Brother, then, it is clear that the problem
lies within US not following the Mind of Christ! Perhaps,
it is time to do a reality check, again. Are we living
abundantly and eternally or are we existing in our own
reality, as a blasphemer of God's Holy Spirit, by which we
are in danger of becoming eternally DEAD?! Do we have the
ATTITUDE and spirit of a LIAR or the heart and Mind of
Christ which renders to us the fortitude and desire to
STAND against darkness and adversity, conquering the world
and conquering DEATH!
My Brethren, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your

Father which is in heaven is perfect." (Matthew 5:48 KJV)
Let not death win over us, but let us be faithful and
steadfast, as we do the Will of God. Father, keep us from
the evil one and USE US LORD, IN A MIGHTY WAY!
Your servant and soldier, united with the One, mishael
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

examining your heart, answer the UNDERLINED questions
within the chapter.

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a mature Believer or submit them to:
https://fsasw.blogspot.com
https://fssw-followers.weebly.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Psalm 37(KJV)
Acts 5(KJV)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Chapter 5
LOVING JESUS: LIFE AFTER REBIRTH
John 8:42(KJV)
Jesus said unto them, If God were your Father, ye

would love me: for I proceeded forth and came from
God; neither came I of myself, but he sent me.
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Over the past few days, I've been in limbo, as if God

has pressed pause and I am unable to make a decisive move.
During these times of waiting on the Lord, I can begin to
pay too much attention to myself. I begin to self-analyze
and mentally dissect my mind and my behavior. Asking
myself questions such as, why am I not doing this or why
am I not doing that?
If I listen to myself and answer my own questions, it

can be disastrous, because my answers tend to be based on
negativity and self-persecution.
For instance, I might ask, "What am I afraid of or is

it fear? Is it laziness? What is it that I am allowing to
stand in my way that keeps me from the goodness, the
health, the wealth, the love, the promise of abundant and
eternal life that God wants for me?
If it were just laziness, it would not account for me

doing the things that I want to do when I want to do them.
No, there is more to it. Has the devil blinded me so that
I am completely unable to see that which binds me? Then,
that would say that there is no GREATER power within me to
overcome it and I know that not to be true. So, I cannot
put the blame on anything or anyone else. It must be ME!
Well, then, it IS me and I have the Almighty, powerful

God within me. Then, do I really BELIEVE in that power? Do
I utilize that power? NO! Not in every instance, because I
want to have control. The problem lies in my UNBELIEF!
Otherwise, I would surrender. Why do I believe I can make
the better choice or decision pertaining to particular
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areas of my life?
Whether, it is a problem with exercising daily, eating

healthy, getting adequate sleep or maintaining a schedule
or a clean and organized environment, God wants to be part
of my life, to fulfill His promise of an abundant and
eternal life. At what point am I going to surrender ALL
and let Him COMPLETELY reign over my life? It is not going
to work if I let Him have it one day and take it back the
next day. I have a responsibility in this relationship and
a responsibility to the Body.
His power is within me, but the problem lies in my

failure to utilize that power. --But, WHY? Why would I do
this to myself? Do I want to LIVE? --And, do I want to
live ABUNDANTLY? How do I CONNECT the two? My FLESH is
WEAK!!! JESUS!!! Jesus HELP ME!
Finally, I come to the RIGHT train of thought! Yes,

that is the answer! --That is the 'missing link'! Jesus! I
am not abiding in Jesus. When I am looking for the gate to
walk through, the door to open to connect me with the
power of God, when I am too weak to stand, decide, or
defend myself, I need only to look to Jesus.
The state of mind I was in, this condition of wandering

aimlessly and subjecting myself to denigrating, verbal
self-abuse already has a prescribed answer and solution.
One would think that we as Believers would never forget
that Jesus is the "answer for the world today."
However, my eyes had been on SELF, instead of Jesus.

Yet, I wasn't AWARE of detaching myself and did not
perceive myself to be in any type of danger or
disadvantage. My mind was on a one track path, the wrong
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path, as the adversary would have it, because I was not

focused on the center of my joy and the Mind of Christ. I
allowed myself to be sent on a wild goose chase by my
wandering mind.
There I was, looking into my own mind for answers,

BLAMING myself for my WEAKNESS, wallowing in self-pity,
going in circles, treading hopelessly on a never-ending
treadmill, perhaps ready to act off of misinformation.
Of course, the adversary knew it would get me nowhere,

because I was placing faith in myself, alone. There I was
frolicking around in my mind, surrounded by the carnal
world, cutting myself off from the power and blessings of
God that would keep me from sin. I was denying myself the
rights as a citizen of the Kingdom. So, God decided to
just keep...waiting, until I came back around and noticed
Him.
POWER, wonder-working power, that is given to us

because of the precious blood that Jesus shed for us. How
quickly our feet falter and stray from the right path,
when we take our eyes off of Jesus. How quickly we sink
into the depths of darkness in the world and lose sight of
the Kingdom.
So, what must we do to keep our eyes on Jesus and

follow Him? What must we do to keep the Mind of Christ? I
am convinced that we must continually deny self ...dying
to self, understanding that we are NOT ALONE! Just as we
breathe, it must become automatic, spontaneous, a somewhat
involuntary reflex, stimulated by something within us. We
must get use to being with God, walking and talking with
Him, throughout the day, acknowledging His presence within
and through us. Any ifs, ands, or buts are clear
indication of our wanting to control our own lives and
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refusing to surrender. It is UNBELIEF! Jesus increase our

FAITH! Let us not be as those of the world!
However, we are ALL human, and although we are no

longer OF the world, we are still exposed to situations
within the world that require us to make choices and
decisions that affect our well-being. We will make
mistakes!
It can be difficult learning to exercise our new

rights, use our NEW MIND, and remember that WE ARE NOT
ALONE! Please don't beat yourself up, feeling that you
have failed and you're a terrible Disciple and Child of
God. God understands, which is why He gave us Jesus and a
Helper. Remember, God NEVER FAILS! As long as you abide in
Him, He will not let you fail in that which He has planned
for you.
When we know what we should be doing and we don't do it

because we don't believe we can overcome our mind or
feelings, then, it is our unbelief and unwillingness to
SURRENDER ALL to God, who only wants GOOD things for His
children.
When I forget that I am not alone and have bypassed the

Mind of Christ, I can find myself having made a bad or
wrong choice and the consequences I face are of my own
doing. So, is there an assured METHOD to make me choose
God EVERY TIME? NO! --Because, God is still a god of
freewill.
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However, there is BLESSED ASSURANCE in Christ Jesus!

And, there we stand at the beginning of the first choice
we must make. We know we cannot make this journey by
ourselves. We've tried to go it alone and we know the
mistakes we have made. The road is not easy by ourselves.
There are pitfalls and snares along the way. It is up to
us to keep that connection with Jesus, following Him, in
order to have the desired connection with GOD, our Father.
What have I left out of this debate or analysis? What

have I gone all over the place to finally arrive at? What
is the missing equation or missing factor that determines
all the rest? What has God given us to aid us, knowing our
weaknesses and fleshly dilemma? BLESSED BE THE TIE THAT
BINDS US TOGETHER! It is that which He gives unto us each
and every moment of our lives--UNCONDITIONAL, PERFECT
LOVE!
Love for Jesus keeps us following, resisting and

persisting within the world, and pursuing a relationship
with Our Father!
Sinners do you LOVE my Jesus? Saints do you LOVE my

Jesus?
Jesus knew that had Peter had the love within him,
whereby Jesus loved him, he would not have betrayed Him.
At that time, Peter had not been made perfect in love, for
perfect love cast out fear. Succumbing to fear of man and
the world, Peter betrayed Christ.
So, my Brothers and Sisters, if we are indeed SAINTS--
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Holy, within that holiness is GOD'S LOVE. We have come to

RECOGNIZE God's Love in Christ Jesus. Through that
recognition our heart--our spirit is drawn to that which
sustains it--the Love of God. This is much more than
simply falling in love, for if one thinks of themselves as
falling or succumbing to love, how quickly one can fall
out of love. No, to love Jesus, our Lord and Savior as God
loves is not to fall, but to RISE TO A HEAVENLY STATE OF
MIND that prevents and keeps us from FALLING into sin. To
love Jesus is to mount up on eagle's wings and soar above
that which tries to diminish us and attempt to pull us
down into eternal darkness, death and damnation.
Many people of the world rebelliously say that they do

not fear hell and damnation, but how can one fear that
which they have no real knowledge of? It is no great feat
or sign of courage, rebellion, disdain, independence,
self-sustainability, or higher or superior intellect, not
to FEAR hell. The transparency in that statement shows an
inability to LOVE LIFE! Therein, will I leave it for all
to ponder and meditate upon.
LOVE is the common denominator for the existence of man

and the universe and that love comes from God. If one does
not know God or His Love, how can one make a decision
about hell? Their lack of love for all men and God proves
that man's love is like evaporating water. It can change
direction like the wind. You cannot build upon it less the
building collapse and fall. It chooses to help one and
refuses to help another.
Children, we need Jesus to teach us the Love of God and

through God's Holy Spirit, be perfect in Love. I can
choose to do what is right for me and others if I take my
mind off of self and surrender to the Mind of Christ. That
choice to surrender comes not because of what I want to
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achieve or acquire, but from a heart that LOVES JESUS as

He loves me. The Shepherd calls to us, asking "Do you love
me more than these?" What will be your answer?
I asked my Father, "If I am to keep my eyes on Jesus,

how do I see Jesus in MY life? How do I come to LOVE Him?
What makes me a Saint and puts me on the path to
Holiness?"
"The answer is A CHANGE--a change that has come over

you, my daughter through rebirth. A washed heart and the
feeling that lets you know you are forgiven."
A CHANGE. I didn't quite understand it at first. It

sounded too simple. I remember singing a song about a
change coming over me, but, did I really understand the
words? What was this "change" that He was talking about as
a result of rebirth?
Then, I felt it; the feeling that replaced the

negativity when I shifted from relying on my own thoughts,
to talking with God. There within me is a heart that has
been changed, washed and cleansed, where God abides--a
heart that truly ACCEPTS Jesus, because it is filled with
God's Holy Spirit and thereby comes to know and be
perfected in God's Love. There within is the One--Father,
Son and Holy Spirit. There within, I rest and find clarity
and certainty. There within, is He who is Holy, therefore,
I must strive to be Holy, a Saint.
"Thank you, Father. Then, figuratively speaking, we

keep the eyes of our heart (spirit) upon Jesus, with Jesus
being at the center of our heart, because we treasure and
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love Him as He loved us. We want to become like Him,

because He is the epitome of that which we love and thirst
for--Holiness and Righteousness. He is the epitome of the
perfect man in the image of God. If we love Jesus, then,
we will love You, and obey You, as did Jesus."
In my heart, I see and love Jesus. My mind surrenders

to His thoughts, so that in my life, I am able to set my
eyes on that which is Holy and Righteous, those things
which my Father would have for me to keep me healthy
mentally, physically and spiritually to do His Will and to
live abundantly.
"So much depends on my loving Jesus, Father. Is this

why you spend so much time in perfecting my love?"
"Yes, that your heart will not be polluted by the world

and the taste of holiness and righteousness be driven from
you; That the same love I have for you, you will espouse
in your love for your brother and to all mankind."
"Oh, Father sometimes I feel that I'm so far from you

within this world."
"That is because you place yourself far from me. I am

here--always."
"I know, but I must know that I know--always."
After, I finally reconnected with God, I realized that

my painstaking waiting period, was time out for clean-up
inside of me. God had to press pause from the control
panel because He detected something out of sync with my
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mind, body and spirit. He knew that sooner or later, I'd

come around to acknowledging Him and asking what I needed
to know to get started in the right direction again.
After rebirth, as you live your abundant and eternal

life, you too will have times of uncertainty, or that lack
clarity due to stress, trauma, sickness, grief, etc. God
doesn't want you to be alone. He may be waiting to get
your attention. Perhaps, He will press pause, reset, or
maybe even rewind, in other words, make you wait or start
over, until you recognize that you are not alone. You
don't have to go through trials and temptations by
yourself. You don't have to resist and persist by
yourself. You don't have to fight by yourself. You don't
have to take this journey and travel... by yourself.
You are One with the Father, Son, Holy Spirit, and the
Body of Christ. You are never alone! It is a wonderful
gift to have Christ in your life and God who will never
leave you alone! We must move past thinking of God as just
being a part of our life or existing only in the heavenly
and truly accept Him as the Head of our life and our All-
in-All, dwelling within us.
In good times and in bad times we need to stay

connected to God by reminding ourselves of not only how
much He loves US, but How much we love HIM, also. We learn
to know and feel that love through Jesus, who first loved
us. Whatever, we ask in Jesus' name, the Father will
provide, if it is within His Will for us. We can live each
moment with God, loving and praying unceasingly, if we
learn to love God through He who IS the Word and character
of God, Yeshua (Christ Jesus).
It doesn't hurt to CALL UPON HIS NAME, when the storms

of life are raging! However, even more, EVERYDAY, it helps
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to just SPEAK His name in LOVE to keep your eyes upon Him
and stay connected, following Him, letting Him guide you
in obeying the Will and Way of Our Father. If we are to
live abundantly, eternally, it is our abundant and perfect
love for Jesus that will bind us to the One, who has made
us Whole and keeps us in Perfect Submission!
Your servant and soldier, united with the One
mishael
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



https://fsasw.blogspot.com
1. Do you love Jesus? How do you know?

2. Do you do things because of your love for someone
or your family (work, run errands for someone,
142
take care of someone, keep a pet, etc.)?

3. Are you abiding in Jesus as you go about your day?
Is Jesus with you helping you?
4. What do you do because you love Jesus? How do you
help Jesus?
5. Do you feel that there is no place for Jesus in
your workplace, school or when you go to
entertainment or entertain? Why or why not?
6. Does Jesus leave you out or behind?
7. Do you really LOVE Jesus UNCONDITIONALLY?
8. If you are feeling lost, distressed, stressed,
hurt, confused, angry, etc., do you call upon
Jesus?
9. Do you need Jesus if you are happy or content?
10. Do you need to stay connected to God? Can you
separate Jesus from God?
11. Many people criticize or condemn religions because
they do not recognize Jesus as the Son of God and
their Savior. Can these religions separate, set
apart or tear Jesus from God?
12. What separates you from Jesus and God?
13. Have you been perfected in love?
14. Have you been reborn through God's Holy Spirit?
15. How do you keep your eyes on Jesus?
16. Is it difficult for you to keep your eyes on
Jesus? When? Why?
17. What do you do when it's difficult for you to keep
your eyes on Jesus?
18. Will an unclean heart take your eyes off of Jesus?
19. Will unbelief take your eyes off of Jesus?
20. Have you asked God to increase your faith? Has it
happened?
143
21. Is Jesus the Author and Finisher of our faith?

22. Then, do we need to totally accept Jesus into our
heart to have our faith increased?
23. Has your appetite changed as a result of rebirth,
meaning you have a new mind and hunger for
holiness and righteousness?
24. Has your change allowed you to see the character
of God in Jesus?
25. Can you see and feel Jesus' love for all of us?
26. If we fail to keep our eyes upon Jesus and sink,
fall or betray Jesus, as Peter did, do we need to
reevaluate our love for Jesus?
27. Do you love Jesus unconditionally? Do you love
Jesus more than that which is in the world?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
John 8 (KJV)
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Chapter 6
REVIVAL:
Resurrection,
Restoration and Reconnection
Matthew 18: 1-4 (KJV)
1 At the same time came the disciples unto

Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the
kingdom of heaven?
2 And Jesus called a little child unto him, and

set him in the midst of them,
3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be

converted, and become as little children, ye
shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
4 Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as

this little child, the same is greatest in the
kingdom of heaven.
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My Beloved Brothers and Sisters,
If we accept Jesus, then, we accept The Kingdom of

Heaven. We acknowledge that we are a member of the Body of
Christ and along with the other members, we are no longer
OF the world, but, citizens within the Kingdom of God.
What we do and how we live is with intent to bring that
which is done within the Kingdom of Heaven to God's
Kingdom on Earth, which exists within and through us, as
it did Jesus. Through us, the "Kingdom of Heaven is at
hand."
I wrote half of this piece long ago and realizing it

was unfinished, I set it aside, awaiting further
instructions. The instructions came, as I was
contemplating a request that had been made of me; a
request which I knew I had to immediately take to prayer
and ask God for guidance. These words are offered in love
as they were given unto me in love. I did not write this
with intent to diminish, obstruct, or deter the
admiration, respect and appreciation that is due to any
servant of God. However, within our commission to spread
the Good News of the Kingdom, is a charge to keep and a
God to glorify. It is with this intent and love that I
offer the Word of God as revealed to me from our Father.
'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus and be able to take things
to God in prayer. Thank you, Father. I love you. Please
reveal Your Truth to those who have ears to hear. Open and
cleanse their hearts, drawing them closer to You. In
Jesus' name. Amen
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Restoring the Church to Christ
As we know, Darkness always mimics Light and seeks to

steal, kill and destroy that which is of God. Upon the
creation of Jesus' Church, the adversary wasted no time in
infiltrating and trying to disrupt and corrupt Believers.
False doctrine crept into churches to confuse and cause
chaos. Many intending to do good had not been taught
properly and instead unintentionally misled many other
early Christians. Even now, the influence of the world has
destroyed and taken many institutional churches captive.
Perhaps, this is what gave rise to the old revivals that
took place throughout history and the ongoing quest for
revival and survival within churches today.
Can there be true revival for institutional churches as

a whole? Is this within God's Will? What is revival and
does it restore individuals and churches to Christ? Hence,
I offer you a textbook definition of "revival," courtesy
of Google.
re·viv·al
• rəˈvīvəl noun an improvement in the condition or

strength of something.
"a revival in the fortunes of the party"
synonyms:
improvement, recovery, rallying, picking up,

amelioration, turn for the better, upturn,
upswing,resurgence
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"a revival in the economy"
• an instance of something becoming popular,

active, or important again.
"cross-country skiing is enjoying a revival"
synonyms:
comeback, reestablishment, reintroduction,

restoration, reappearance,
resurrection,regeneration, renaissance, rejuvenation
"the revival of traditional crafts"
• a new production of an old play or similar work.
The definitions I wish to expound upon, are the latter

two, "an instance of something becoming popular, active,
or important again," and "a new production of an old play
or similar work."
God wanted Ezekiel to learn about reviving that which

is dead and dried up, in order to demonstrate the need for
Israel to have Revival: Resurrection, Restoration and
Reconnection to God. As we read in Ezekiel 37: 1-4, God
said to Ezekiel, "Can these bones live?"
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Ezekiel 37 King James Version (KJV)
1.The hand of the Lord was upon me, and carried me

out in the spirit of the Lord, and set me down
in the midst of the valley which was full of
bones,
2.And caused me to pass by them round about: and,

behold, there were very many in the open valley;
and, lo, they were very dry.
3.And he said unto me, Son of man, can these bones

live? And I answered, O Lord God, thou knowest.
4.Again he said unto me, Prophesy upon these

bones, and say unto them, O ye dry bones, hear
the word of the Lord.
5.Thus saith the Lord God unto these bones;

Behold, I will cause breath to enter into you,
and ye shall live:
6. And I will lay sinews upon you, and will bring

up flesh upon you, and cover you with skin, and
put breath in you, and ye shall live; and ye
shall know that I am the Lord.
If it is God's Will to bring revival and restore

captive and institutional churches to Christ Jesus, we
must resist and persist against that we have come to
accept as norms within the institutional church which go
against THE WILL OF GOD. The captives have been
assimilated into the culture and identity of their captors
and must learn to see with new eyes. Therefore, we must
lift the veil that is blinding them. We must expose the
lies, the false doctrine, the culture, lifestyle and
manner of speaking which they have become accustomed to
149
that SEPARATES them from God.
1.First, we must know what we are trying to revive and

its present state of being.
2.We must accept GOD's WILL for it to live or not to
live again
3.We should understand that God does not simply
resurrect that which is dead or dried up, keeping it
in its present state. It will be different.
4.It may be futile to invite God in to revive that which
is dying and resists change.
5.God will REMAKE that which is dead by replacing the
OLD with NEW and breathe NEW LIFE into it.
6.God intends for it to know HIM and be reconnected to
HIM, not the world or man.
7.God has a purpose for it within its new life.
8.Does God intend to use ME in the process, as a VESSEL
and/or INSTRUMENT to do His Will?
9.Does this require ME to CHANGE?
10.Does this require ME to be HUMBLE, SURRENDER, SUBMIT,
BELIEVE and TRUST GOD?
If we are to be instrumental in this process, we must

teach others to resist and persist against: those rituals
and ceremonies that are within competition with Christ as
the Head of the Body and Chief Shepherd; those things
which confuse the people to whose voice they should follow
and obey; and those things which continue to place
Believers behind a veil. If they are to live abundantly
and eternally, they must truly accept and trust Christ, be
born again and learn to resist and persist against those
things which take our eyes off of Jesus and DISCONNECT us
from God and His Kingdom.
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Unlike the Israelites, who had been taught by the

Egyptians to honor pagan and false gods, and who worshiped
status and material wealth, having superficial love, we
within the Body of Christ must learn to honor one another
by our respect, godly love and care for one another,
first. We must learn to honor our leaders and teachers
likewise, encouraging, edifying, and extending gratitude
as it is due.
God does not frown upon us giving gifts to one another,

however, we must be mindful of how, when, why, where and
what we give to one another. What is in our heart, when we
give? Does our giving help to glorify the Lord and lift up
the name of JESUS? Or, have we made a golden calf idol,
where we are putting something (a ritual or ceremony) or
someone above God and His Kingdom? As citizens living in
God's Kingdom, should we lift up others and pay tribute in
such a way in the presence of God?Are we holding back from
the Kingdom, like Sapphira and Ananias, because we deem
ourselves more important? Are we giving begrudgingly, with
expectations for reciprocation or reward, or to impress
others?
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APPLYING THE WORLD TO THE WORD
vs.
LIVING THE WORD IN THE KINGDOM
Just a reminder, having been reborn, we are living

within the Kingdom. If we go back to Adam and Eve, before
they knew sin, the question of honoring oneself before the
presence of God, didn't even come to mind within the
Garden of Eden. It is now, when man struggles to break
free of sin and bondage and escape the trap of legalism
that we must open our eyes to what lies before us. Now,
within the Kingdom, we have the opportunity once again to
live abundant and eternally. So, what place does honoring
oneself and encouraging others to do likewise have within
God's Kingdom, if we have been washed and cleansed of sin
and reconnected to God?
The questions within the body of this text serve as a

reality check to examine if we are connected to God and
the Kingdom. Which leads us back to--what are we trying to
restore when we seek revival? Are we seeking to restore a
connection with God? If so, are we going about it the
right way? And, if we keep having to repeat and have
revival, shouldn't we check to see if there was a
CONNECTION in the first place? If we are looking for "a
new production of an old play or similar work," revival
may not come because the old production, play or work is
OBSOLETE because "IT IS FINISHED!" and "Jesus Changed
Everything!"
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What I'm saying may be a hard pill for many to swallow,

but, God often gives us a hard pill to swallow to make us
better. God did not give the Tribe of Levi land within the
Promised Land. Instead, they were to minister to the
people who would be responsible for providing for their
needs. They were to minister to and SERVE others, for
which they were highly regarded. Jesus sent His Disciples
out to minister to the people carrying nothing. He wanted
them to be completely dependent upon God providing for
them through others. Under the new covenant, the Five Fold
ministry became responsible TOGETHER to minister to the
people, helping the Helper, God's Holy Spirit, to teach
the new arrivals within the KINGDOM, those who, having
been REBORN, still needed instruction in being HOLY--
SAINTS, set apart, as Children of God. Paul's structuring
of the early church, reinforced the responsibility of the
people to provide for those who minister to the people and
to honor them; to hold them in high regard and provide for
all of their needs.
The Kingdom signifies the outstanding difference, the

changing and defining point to what distinguishes us as
Followers of Jesus, Servants, Apostle's, Prophets,
Teachers, Evangelists and Pastors, requiring us to meet a
DIFFERENT STANDARD than that of the world. Jesus said that
within the Kingdom, the greatest among us shall be our
minister, and the chief among us shall be our SERVANT;
meaning that the minister is not above the servant.
The Bible speaks of honoring EVERY man in a different

sense than that of the world; for only God and Jesus are
worthy of honor and glory. Honor is found in God and
Jesus. How can we honor others within the Kingdom? --By
obeying God and becoming like Him through Jesus; by loving
and treating others as we would have others love and treat
us; by esteeming every man greater than ourselves. We
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HONOR our pastor and shepherd by our love, respect, care

and by providing for them. Confusion and trespass for many
begin because they are not aware of who and what they are.
Those who are born of the Spirit are of the Kingdom. Jesus
and God's Holy Spirit dwell within them and they are of
the Kingdom. As citizens of the Kingdom, we want God's
Will to be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Within the KINGDOM, we lift up NO OTHER NAME but the

name of JESUS! We do not set one member above the other
members in the Body. When He spoke to the Disciples
concerning the greatest in the Kingdom, Jesus was not
establishing, rank, status or protocol, for that would be
CONTRARY to His teachings and the principles of the
Kingdom. We must do away with our earthly, carnal thinking
and expand our minds upon our knowledge of God's Kingdom
and "Let His Will be done on Earth, as it is in Heaven."
Jesus was REAFFIRMING the unbiased and balanced

judgment of His Father within Him. Reminding us that we
are VESSELS! The pronoun "he" could be ANYONE whom God
chooses at a specific time or place to use! We ALL as
Believers minister to one another at sometime or another.
However, HE who HUMBLES himself to SERVE, in God's eyes is
seen as making the GREATER SACRIFICE for he has learned to
LIVE THE WORD OF GOD! This is not to say that those who
minister the Word of God are not servants, but, instead
that, if they want to be greater than the Pharisee and
Sadducee, who only preached the Word, the minister,
pastor, preacher, apostle, prophet, evangelist, or
teacher, must learn FIRST to be a SERVANT and to LIVE the
Word of God!
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20 Then came to him the mother of Zebedees children

with her sons, worshipping him, and desiring a
certain thing of him.
21 And he said unto her, What wilt thou? She saith

unto him, Grant that these my two sons may sit, the
one on thy right hand, and the other on the left, in
thy kingdom.
22 But Jesus answered and said, Ye know not what ye

ask. Are ye able to drink of the cup that I shall
drink of, and to be baptized with the baptism that I
am baptized with? They say unto him, We are able.
23 And he saith unto them, Ye shall drink indeed of

my cup, and be baptized with the baptism that I am
baptized with: but to sit on my right hand, and on
my left, is not mine to give, but it shall be given
to them for whom it is prepared of my Father.
James and John, the two brothers, and their mother were
still very carnally minded and could only see that which
was of the world, basing prosperity and importance on the
structure of class and status around them. Therefore, they
believed that within Jesus' Kingdom, they would find the
same thing and achieve status and glory because they had
CONNECTIONS with Jesus. They could not see that that which
they lacked was a connection with The Living Word of God!
They wanted to connive their way to the top behind the
other apostle's backs. They neither knew what they were
asking, nor the consequences of drinking of the same cup
as Jesus. Jesus' response to their request shows us that
ONLY GOD, the Father can lift someone up within the
KINGDOM. However, Jesus did not tell them that within the
Kingdom, there is only ONE MAN'S NAME that has been found
WORTHY of lifting up and praising with ALL HONOR, GLORY
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AND MIGHT! Only the LAMB OF GOD, Jesus, who is worthy to

bring Salvation, to open the Book of Names, and to lead
the final battle and VICTORY over Darkness upon the earth!
I ask you now, my beloved Brothers and Sisters, if you

have INDEED been REBORN and are FREE INDEED, "Are you
living as CITIZENS OF THE KINGDOM in your abundant and
eternal life? Or, are you still guided by and practicing
the rituals and ceremonies of men OF the world?
As we APPRECIATE one another within the Church and the

Body of Christ, we must be aware of where we are--IN the
world, but not OF the world. As WE have been transformed,
our APPRECIATION has been enlightened and uplifted to
encompass more than seeking a place of recognition or
seeing ourselves greater or more worthy. Our appreciation
for others is not entrenched in worldly thinking.
Will we be like Satan and within God's own Kingdom,

allow or encourage others to extol praise upon us,
forgetting we would be and could do NOTHING without God?
Where are the truly humble? Where are the TRUE SERVANTS OF
GOD who will not steal His Praise, Honor and Glory or look
to PROFIT from His Name?; Who UNDERSTANDS what it means to
LOVE the Word of God, who is Christ Jesus? Who will humbly
live within His and His Father's KINGDOM?
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CLEANING HOUSE
There can be no mistaking that cleanup time is long

over due within many places where we worship and teach
God's Word. God's Word tells us that cleanup begins within
the church. One can take this as simply undue criticism
and helping to turn people away from the church or see it
as love and exhortation for those who want to be Christ's
True Church, who do not fear change and trust God for the
increase. Those who fear, distrust, or abhor cleanup
within the Body, do not understand Christ's Church, for it
is like the human body, which rids itself of waste,
contamination and disease.
Those who oppose or who are not open to constructive

criticism given in love to invite unity to create
solutions, cannot see how narrow the gate and how straight
the path to the Kingdom of God. They forget that Christ is
the Head of the Body and the sheep belong to God. They
neither understand the seriousness of Paul's letters to
the early churches, nor take heed to Jesus' in the Book of
Revelation warning those claiming to be His church and
Followers. There cannot be TRUE FELLOWSHIP without TRUE
LIGHT. Darkness cannot be swept under a rug, but must be
cast out. We cannot enter the Kingdom one day and then
slip out the back door to be in the world. To lead the
sheep back to Christ, we must make BOLD decisions, abrupt
stops and cautious turns, putting ourselves in harms way,
denying ourselves, dying to self and giving our lives to
save others from sin and death. There is no greater love
than to sacrifice one's own life for His brother.
Honor within the Kingdom is of a different standard.

Still, man loves to find ways to use the scriptures of the
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Bible to benefit himself. Men of the world set aside days

to honor men of the world. They love sitting proudly while
heaps of praises are piled upon their heads. They see no
harm in bringing glory to themselves, but not so with
those who love God. Many will try to convince you that it
is all under control and the people understand that God
gets all the glory, but the day wasn't set aside solely to
lift up God, the day was set aside to lift up and praise
man. God saw that Moses' body was buried so that no man
would know and have opportunity to idolize him. Jehovah
God is a jealous god. He has not changed.
Many people within churches function and operate by

what has been set as a precedent, doing what they see
others do, or responding to Simon Says. Some churches even
try to out-do other churches in the way that they provide
for their ministers. Other churches have even established
ways for ministers to benefit from a kick-back or extra
perk, in return for privileges or recognition, as did the
Pharisee and Sadducee. Instead of trusting God, Servants
of God may see their ministry as a type of job to draw
extra benefits from the people to help them throughout the
year. They may be willing to compromise their relationship
with Christ and their connection to God. As they may see
change as not benefiting them, they may see no harm in
adhering to the traditional values, rituals and ceremonies
of the institutional church as long as it keeps the people
happy and content, making them feel good about themselves
and what they are doing for others.
This is but one example of people applying the world to

the Word of God, instead of living the Word within the
Kingdom. But, who will give account and be responsible for
taking the sheep's eyes off of Jesus and leading them
astray? Who will give account and be responsible for
standing in the way of Revival: Resurrection, Restoration
and Reconnection with God?
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Jesus did not pray for the world, for He knew its fate,
seeing it blind and in darkness. He didn't worry about
offending the world or those still attached to it, or
those who claimed to be Jews and Children of God. He came
offering something more powerful and desirable--The
Kingdom of God, abundant and eternal life.
Yes, many were driven away, who did not appreciate

Jesus finding fault within their lives, their religion,
the Temple, the Pharisee and Sadducee. They were set in
their ways and traditions, believing what they had was
holy and righteous, unoffensive to God. But, was Jesus
sent to gain popularity for the Temple and the practice of
religion and corruption? HE DID WHAT HIS FATHER TOLD HIM
TO DO! The words He brought cut deep within the heart
causing hatred, animosity and division.
God knew that His plan would separate the wheat from
the tares. It was not intended to start a trend of
popularity and approval. Speaking boldly did not end with
Jesus, yet, speaking IN LOVE FOR THE GLORY OF GOD, BEGINS
WITH JESUS. We must speak out boldly, IN LOVE, to correct
our Brothers and Sisters, for God is seeking only ONE KIND
OF WORSHIPPER, THOSE WHO WORSHIP IN SPIRIT AND IN TRUTH.
CHANGE AND DECISIONS:
TESTING THE CONNECTION
We need not fear for the growth and survival of the

True Church, for the LIGHT OF TRUTH will continue to
separate the wheat from the tares, drawing men to God's
throne of Truth, Holiness, Righteousness, Grace and Mercy.
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TRUST GOD'S PLAN! We fear because we fail to TRUST GOD,

forgetting that He is still in control. Some men fear
because they wrestle God for control of the church,
thinking they can make the rules and break the rules
whenever they want to, for whoever they please to do so.
But, God shows no preference of man (For there is no
respect of persons with God. Romans 2:11).
Yes, many shepherds and clerics actually believe they

can bypass the will of the Master of the sheep, believing
they are in control of the church, God's sheep, which have
been entrusted to them. They may compromise the Word, Will
and Way of God or bend rules, for fear of losing members
or potential members. Their fear is misplaced, for
instead, they should fear the wrath of God for failing to
heed His Word, misleading, or stealing His sheep.
Change? Terrorists and warmongers have it all wrong.

It's not about dying for a cause to bring about change.
Jesus already did that for all of us. It's about dying to
self (our corrupted flesh) and surrendering ALL to LIVE in
the spirit and walk by faith and not by sight. Revival
through Resurrection (Rebirth), Restoration to LIVE ANEW
under the Mind of Christ to have a Reconnection with God.
Now, is the time to LIVE for change. WHAT and WHO are
you willing to die to self for to LIVE in victory and
affect change in others? There is only ONE whom you can
live for who will change you and others, when what you
live for FIRST is God and His Kingdom.
Change? The change most men seek is change to benefit

them IN the world. Until churches are freed from bondage,
forsaking the world and stop structuring the church to
serve the world instead of God, there can be no TRUE
revival or restoration of the church to Christ.
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In order to keep the churches in line with the Word of

God, Paul and Timothy would no doubt have had questions to
make comparisons and affirmations to help make decisions
and changes within. When I am faced with decisions and
change, I try to ask myself the following questions; or,
at least some of them, if all are not pertinent. If I
believe I have an answer or solution:
• Have I prayed about it and asked God to guide me?

• Have I waited for an answer?
• Am I leaving God out?
• Am I following Jesus, abiding in the Spirit and trying
to become like Him?
• Am I being in the flesh--self, wanting things to be
about me, forgetting it's not what I want, but what
God wants?
• Does it Glorify God?
• Does it Honor God?
• Am I obeying God?
• Does it give God all the praise?
• Am I showing my love for Jesus and God, or love of
self?
• Does it put control and power into God's hands?
• Am I seeking God's Face?
• Am I seeking the Kingdom of God first?
• Am I being accountable?
Before He was condemned and crucified, as He prayed in

the garden, Jesus said that He did not pray for the world.
He knows its beginning and He knows that the world, as we
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know it will not change. Therefore, someday, it will end,

but, the Kingdom of God will last, for it is eternal.
Jesus invited us to live holy and righteously within

His Kingdom. He wanted us to be resurrected, restored and
reconnected with God. What love Jesus and God must have
for us to want to spend an eternity with us. Likewise,
love for Jesus and Rebirth through the Holy Spirit is the
change and restoration we must desire and seek for others,
which will RECONNECT them with their Holy Father and give
them abundant and everlasting life.
your servant, strengthened and grounded by love for and

from Christ Jesus, who unites us as One, all praise be
unto God! Amen,
mishael
Ephesians 4:11-18 King James Version (KJV)
11 And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets;

and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and
teachers;
12 For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of

the ministry, for the edifying of the body of
Christ:
13 Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and

of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect
man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness
of Christ:
14 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to

and fro, and carried about with every wind of
doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning
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craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;
15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into

him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
16 From whom the whole body fitly joined together

and compacted by that which every joint supplieth,
according to the effectual working in the measure of
every part, maketh increase of the body unto the
edifying of itself in love.
17 This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord,

that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk,
in the vanity of their mind,
18 Having the understanding darkened, being

alienated from the life of God through the ignorance
that is in them, because of the blindness of their
heart:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


163

1.Using different situations, circumstances, problems,

decisions or changes you are faced with, put your
solutions to the test by answering questions from
below.
2.Does the list help in finalizing your decision or in
accepting or assessing the change?
3.Write down any additional questions you feel you need
to ask yourself. Keep the list for reference when
faced with change and decision making.
If I believe I have an answer or solution:

• Have I prayed about it and asked God to guide me?
• Have I waited for an answer?
• Am I leaving God out?
• Am I following Jesus, abiding in the Spirit and trying
to become like Him?
• Am I being in the flesh--self, wanting things to be
about me,forgetting it's not what I want, but what God
wants?
• Does it Glorify God?
• Does it Honor God?
• Am I obeying God?
• Does it give God all the praise?
• Am I showing my love for Jesus and God, or love of
self?
• Does it put control and power into God's hands?
• Am I seeking God's Face?
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• Am I seeking the Kingdom of God first?

• Am I being accountable?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ezekiel 37(KJV)
Matthew 18(KJV)
Matthew 20:20-34(KJV)
Ephesians 4(KJV)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Chapter 7
STANDING IN ABUNDANCE, ETERNALLY
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IT'S NOT EASY, BUT THE PAIN & SACRIFICE

ARE WORTH WHILE
When He came into this world, Jesus had abundant and

eternal life, but still He had to learn to stand within
that promise. Jesus knew what He had to do. He knew the
outcome, but it still didn't make it any easier. It didn't
take away the feeling and knowledge that He was not OF
this world, but, still had to live within a sinful world.
It wasn't easy.
It wasn't easy not being understood by His family and

seeing things differently than others. If He were to live
a sinless life, there were things and people He would have
to give up. He was the Son of God, but that didn't make it
easier. He was flesh and blood in a sinful world. He had
to resist and persist and stay connected to His Father.
Satan was there at every turn trying to affect His

emotions and persuade Him to act in the flesh--in self.
However, Jesus resisted and persisted, even when it came
to His family.
When it came time for Him to make the ultimate

sacrifice, He knew the sacrifice was worth it, but it
didn't make it any easier. He still asked His Father, if
there was another way.
It was hard for His mind to get around the pain He had
to endure, because the flesh is weak. It was hard for Him
to think about the hatred and betrayal that would be
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directed at Him. His heart ached for those He loved and

would leave behind.
It hurt that those around Him didn't understand how

much He loved them. It HURT that they loved the world more
than His Father and more than Him.
Yes, Jesus felt pain deep within His heart; the same
gut-wrenching pain we feel when we have lost someone dear;
the pain we feel when we've been severely, mortally
wounded ; the pain we feel, when our world has been
shattered; the pain that immobilizes us and all we can do
is cry out, "Father, Help me! "
How does God feel when He can't have a relationship or

talk and communicate with the children that He loves and
created?
If you have ever lost a child or had a child to defy,

rebel, deny you, turn against, or completely forsake and
turn their back upon you, then you now the endless aching
feeling inside of you that lingers after the anger; after
the grief; after the worrying; and after attempting to
forget and just move on or the pain that only intensifies
as you never give up hoping and longing to be close to
them, hold them in your arms again, love them and have
that same love returned.
Well, God has feelings, too. Perhaps, we can relate to

Him a little better, remembering the pain that we have
endured ourselves. Perhaps we'll understand How He grieves
from the pain we and others have caused and continue to
cause Him, when we become disconnected and deny Him a
relationship with us.
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In the past, we may have called Him up from time to

time--praying, but, most of the time we were talking about
ourselves or what somebody else was doing to us or for
something we wanted or needed from Him. But, that's not a
relationship! God wants to be able to touch our heart and
for us to understand His heart that He so very much wants
to create within us to improve our lives and perfect our
love.
Much like the fulfillment mothers and fathers feel when

they are able to touch their child's heart with love and
have that love returned to them without asking for it; God
deserves our love, also, for He first loved us as our
Father.
When we don't include God; if we can't share our heart

and thoughts; and when we reject Him, because we might not
like what He says or does, we let our own philosophy or
ideology come between our relationship. If we reject Him
or what He wants us to do, because , it's contrary to what
we believe; if we hold our hand up to silence Him or hang
up the phone to shut Him down, then we are not having a
relationship with God. Perhaps, this is how we are use to
dealing with our own parents or people around us. We have
learned to set up boundaries to keep from getting upset,
or having an argument. So, we cut people off and out of
our lives, believing we are entitled to conduct and
control our lives as we please or perhaps, we can't handle
stress, or don't want to tolerate irritating people or
subjects which will disrupt our day, rain on our parade,
or disturb or steal our joy and harmony.
Oh, I've had plenty of days like that. When I've

allowed someone to get under my skin and dig up my flesh,
then sometimes it may take me a while to pull myself back
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together and stitch the pieces back in place.
Some people know just the right buttons to push and

just the right time to show up and show out to get your
flesh to rise up, then, the old man inside of you is ready
to take over and try to turn you about and look back upon
the world, so you won't be worthy to follow Jesus.
You find yourself unable to keep your eyes on Jesus.

You may be so upset or disconnected, you can't even think
about Jesus. He's disappeared! Now, you're trying to
handle all of these fleshy feelings by yourself!
Oooooh, Satan's got you just where he wants you to be

in order to divide and conquer! He knows how it works. He
knows not to change what's not broken. Man falls for the
same trick every time. It's just needing to know the right
combination at the right time. Mix in some pride with some
fear; then, add some spice and animosity and top it off
with bad memories and a need for control and vindication
and voila!--a masterpiece ready to heat up!
Oh, of course these situations can be avoided by

avoiding encounters with people or situations which make
our lives stressful. But, why should we have to build
walls, put up road signs and caution lights and live in
FEAR? That's not ABUNDANT LIFE! Who invited Satan to be
chef or chief for the day? He has no authority around
here! Did you put on your armor today? Did you claim your
territory?
It's time for the Master Chef, our Chief Shepherd, who
really knows how to CREATE and not kill, steal and
destroy! JESUS has the RIGHT ingredients to turn things
around within our heart, IF WE LET HIM!
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You might ask, "But, how do we get around the PAIN and
the PRIDE? "
When you come into contact with adversity that keeps

needling you, provoking and trying to drag you down and
turn you in the wrong direction, you have forgotten about
GOD! You've left Him out of your life and your
conversation. Not only is your blood pressure rising, but
God's Holy Spirit is grieving, waiting for you to
acknowledge and use the power and love within you.
Meanwhile, Jesus is beckoning you to look at Him and keep
following! He knows that you have different opinions than
the other person, but, what good is YOUR OPINION if it
cannot open the right doors or plant the right seeds? What
good is trying to plant in infertile ground? How can
someone hear the Word of God if they have not ears to hear
or cannot clearly hear because the Word from your mouth is
tainted with pride? And, do you really like living behind
a wall, behind locked doors, afraid to have REAL
relationships, because of fear?
Call on your Savior, stay attached to The Vine, even

during those times of stress and irritation. Watch, as He
turns YOU into a masterpiece, filled with love, wisdom and
understanding to produce GOOD fruit--the Fruit of the Holy
Spirit. These are the times when perhaps you have "done
all else and there is NOTHING else left to do but to
STAND!
Oh, but don't underestimate or misunderstand what it is

to STAND. There is a WHOLE LOT going on when you stand.
You've kicked into high gear and your spiritual reactor is
powered up; you're anchored and holding fast, while you
await further instructions. There's a Mighty Fortress
around you and You Shall Not Be Moved!
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Meanwhile, you've found your garden for prayer and

you're praying unceasingly. You won't fall asleep and let
the enemy creep up and overtake you, leading you into sin
and bondage. You're holding up a banner. Oh, I know it may
not look like much, because it's blood, sweat and tear
stained, but because of the blood, sweat and tears of
Jesus, it has POWER, wonder-working power. And, while
you're praying, you're loosing and binding, because God
and His Angels are fighting for you. You see, that's the
power that STANDING looses, because the battle is not
yours, but the LORD'S.
Your power within is what the enemy didn't want you to

remember when he distracted you. Oh, you forgot about
DISTRACTIONS? Then, it's time to remember. Yes, it is time
to remember that the pride that crept into your heart was
a DISTRACTION to take your eyes off of Jesus and make you
think this is ALL ABOUT YOU! No, no, no,no, NO! The second
Satan tried to use you and that other person, to steal,
kill and destroy, stealing the sheep from the
Master....mm-mm-mmm, it was between him and God.
Now, don't get me wrong, there are times when God wants
to use you, but, God can take care of Himself.
Sometimes, the situation calls for you to stand on the

sideline in Holiness and Righteousness to show Satan who
you belong to, while your Daddy takes care of the bully.
God knows you're going to slip and fall into the

bully's trap sometime, because the ways of the world are
all around you; you may not be use to living in the
Kingdom, in abundant life; the flesh is weak; and pride
comes before the fall. In, matters of the heart, when
people or circumstances are important to you, you might be
172
tempted.
The flesh may be weak, but, your Heavenly Father isn't.

Prepare yourself for these people and circumstances,
identify your weakness and KNOW WITHOUT DOUBT that within
God's LOVE, you are STRONG. Look to Jesus when these times
arise and truly LIVE! Set a picture of Him within your
mind and remember His LOVE for you and God's promises to
you; promises that cannot and will not ever be broken; a
promise NEVER to leave you ALONE ; promises of abundant
and eternal life. It's yours, even now. NO ONE can take it
away or DIMINISH WHO YOU ARE IN CHRIST!
Knowing these things and reminding yourself of them

each day is like that old saying, "an apple a day keeps
the doctor away." However, in this case HUMBLING yourself
to SURRENDER to the WILL of God to FOLLOW CHRIST, STAND
upon GOD'S PROMISES, KNOWING WHO YOU ARE IN CHRIST, keeps
away PRIDE and STRIFE, which take your eyes off of
abundant and eternal life.
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WHEN GOD BUILDS
PSALM 46
1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present

help in trouble.
2 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be

removed, and though the mountains be carried into
the midst of the sea;
3 Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled,

though the mountains shake with the swelling
thereof. Selah.
4 There is a river, the streams whereof shall make

glad the city of God, the holy place of the
tabernacles of the most High.
5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be

moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
6 The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he

uttered his voice, the earth melted.
7 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is

our refuge. Selah.
8 Come, behold the works of the LORD, what

desolations he hath made in the earth.
9 He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth;

he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in
sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.
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10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be

exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the
earth.
11 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is

our refuge. Selah.
Children of the Most High God, who seek His face and
undying love,
We can be thankful that God is the God, not only of

second chances, but many, many chances. God is wise. He
“is our refuge and strength, a very present help in
trouble.”
He makes a straight path for us and beckons us to

follow.
Lord, we look to you to lead us where you would have us

to go. Yes, we will follow, Father. Our soul says, yes,
Lord. Yes. Lead us down the pathway to build us into a
strong-house of holiness and righteousness. Amen
My brothers and sisters, know this that you may be a
more effective vessel: God does not build upward until the
foundation has been firmly laid.
“Be still” and allow Him to be the Foundation of your
life. Yet, understand that when He is your foundation, you
must be able to stand upon Him in holiness, righteousness
and fear of who He is. You must...Be still and know that
He is God.
When God builds upon us, He only adds what the
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framework can support. Many feel secure in their actions

because they have placed God as their Foundation. “The
LORD of hosts is with us,” says the psalm, but as my
Foundation, inside of me, God wants to build upon me.
How strong am I? God wants to strengthen me and build

upon me so that my walls don’t come tumbling down again
and again. Ask yourself, have I allowed God to strengthen
me and remove my weaknesses; not just patch me up or add
support systems; but remove them from my life? Have I
allowed Him to build my house and not just trim my hedges?
When God says, “Be still, and know that I am God,” He

is not simply giving a command. He is painting a picture;
constructing a bridge; and defining a relationship. This
is how I operate! Watch me! Watch what I can do for you.
Watch my power. Look at how the mountains and your foes
tremble.
Today, we see Believers that are not equipped to stand

upon God. We are surrounded by Believers who have no true
Foundation. They lack humbleness, holiness, righteousness,
and fear of God. They would rather fear man. They don’t
know how to be still and know that He is God. As a result,
we prevent God from moving on our behalf. We prevent God
from building upon us; blessing us and transforming our
environment.
Being still is not just a physical act or an act of

obedience. Being still is an act of faith, holiness,
vulnerability and fear of the Lord. It removes the fear
of what man can do to you. Being still allows God to move
things for you…to move you closer to Him and closer to His
plan for you, because you have allowed Him to be your
Foundation and construct your walls. To know that He is
God, you must remove self and trust in His power and His
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glory.
Psalm 46, is not just a song about what God can do. He
is trying to increase our faith. He is trying to show us,
like He showed Abraham. If you fear me and withhold
nothing from me, I will provide for you. Look! There’s a
ram in the bush. God is demanding a show of faith! Watch
and wait on the Lord and see what I can and will do for my
children! I will fight your battles! It is Me the
adversary defies!
Your faith tells you that only God can do the work in
you and around you that needs to be done. Being still for
God is not a practice; nor is it a ritual. To turn it on
and then turn it off is unequivocally, by all
definitions--a ritual. You use it when you want to and
feel that it is needed to appease your god. Quite the
contrary, being still is the outcome of bearing the fruits
of His Holy Spirit; peace, long-suffering, faithfulness,
self-control.
Galatians 5:22-23 (KJV)
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,

longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no

law.
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BE STILL, BE ANXIOUS FOR NOTHING
Philippians 4:4-7(KJV)
4 Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say,

Rejoice.
5 Let your moderation be known unto all men. The

Lord is at hand.
6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by

prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your
requests be made known unto God.
7 And the peace of God, which passeth all

understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds
through Christ Jesus.
Obedience can lead to righteousness, but it does not

always lead to holiness. Holiness comes from change
within; a transformation from the Holy Spirit. Being still
becomes an instance where the action does not bring about
the change; the change brings about the ACTION of being
still. Yet, being still is not the final process that God
is trying to achieve. It is the beginning of things to
come if you only have faith!
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BE STILL and KNOW WHERE YOUR HELP

COMES FROM
The physical act cannot change

you if you haven’t allowed God to
break down those barriers keeping
Him from building upon your
faith. And when God changes you,
you walk in stillness and live in
stillness. Knowing where your
help comes from; being anxious
for nothing. No one has to tell
you to be still. You might be
driving, but you’re being still.
You might be running, but you’re
being still. Because you have
peace of the Lord, that passes
all understanding.
Being still comes through

repentance, humility and complete
dependence upon the Lord to take
control of your life and guide
your path. You humble yourself,
knowing you can do nothing
without God.
Learning how to be still comes

with learning WHO God is and who
you allow Him to be in your life.
We cannot confuse discipline and
conditioning with ‘being still’. These are rituals within
the church that did not put fear of the Lord in the hearts
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of Believers; it only added to their religion and false

righteousness.
We cannot assume that being physically still

demonstrates, instills or teaches reverence to God, nor is
it the only way to hear His voice. One demands obedience
and on surrenders all to truly love God for who He is and
become holy inside the Holy of Holies. God can tell the
difference.
Some of us were taught that we must show reverence to

God when we enter a church and there must be complete
silence in the sanctuary. We could not wait until we got
out of church to release the tension and express
ourselves, as if we left God in the church building. Well,
perhaps we did This is not to say that we do not honor God
within the sanctuary, but we must teach Believers to
acknowledge the presence of God within them at all times;
in everything we say, feel and do. Not just to leave Him,
in a building, or after allowing Him to have some of our
time.
We are God's temple. Reverence for God does not begin

or end inside of a church or during prayer. Respect and
reverence for God should be continual within our being;
for we are One. Hearing His voice becomes automatic,
because we are One.
If you don’t see any change. If you don’t see God

moving after you have been still, it’s because of your
expectations; your emotions; and your heart still
belonging to you. You expect that after you’ve held the
stance of stillness, God will count it as righteousness
and reverence; then, comply with your wishes. Will He
listen? Yes, He will listen for He is a compassionate God.
Will He answer? Yes, He will answer because He is a
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patient God. He will tell you everything you need to hear.

However, He is still waiting on you to KNOW THAT HE IS
GOD.
The chief priest of Israel could not go behind the veil

and enter into the Holy of Holies unless He was
consecrated and clothed in holiness—set apart from the
world. He lived in fear of the Lord. If he did not do so,
he knew that the holiness of God would destroy the filth
and sin he carried, along with him.
Jesus’ sacrifice for us ripped the veil to allow us, to

not only get close, but to abide in our Father and He in
us. Yet, our Father, still requires holiness within us,
upon us, and around us. “…and you shall be holy; for I am
holy.” 1 Peter 1:16 Leviticus 11:44, 45; 19:2; 20:7;
Leviticus 20:26
Leviticus 11:44-45 (NKJV) 44 For I am the Lord your

God. You shall therefore consecrate yourselves, and you
shall be holy; for I am holy. Neither shall you defile
yourselves with any creeping thing that creeps on the
earth. 45 For I am the Lord who brings you up out of the
land of Egypt, to be your God. You shall therefore be
holy, for I am holy.
It is our relationship with Christ within us that gives

us access to our Father. He is the door. It is Christ’s
holiness and worthiness that creates in us a clean heart
and a steadfast love. Taking upon the character of Christ
gives us a holy and righteous identity; wherein we share a
relationship with God and He can say that, we are His
child, and He knows us.
When you know Him, you have a relationship of love;
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your fear and respect spring from the love of who He is as

your Father; He is love; a love so powerful and wondrous
that it demands to be respected and revered for its
awesome magnificence. Like a deer, you stand at attention,
when you hear His voice; be it inwardly or outward…you are
still. You are still, because there is no other like Him.
You are His and He is yours.
Some people physically stand still, but their heart is

still trying to race ahead of God. However hard they try
to resist, their heart and mind still tells them to keep
going on in the direction they want to go. Their mind is
still in the world. They’re holding their breath because
of their expectations. But, when God says, “Be Still,” He
means, know that I am God, because I am the air you
breathe! I give you life! …and without Me there is no race
to run!
So, what does all of this have to do with God building

upon us? Everything. We want to choose the times that we
are still, so God cannot build upon us and show us what He
can do. This is our weakness. We relate being still to the
physical, when it is the spiritual. We cannot equate
obedience to holiness. As Jesus would say, we "still lack
one thing." We do not know who God is because we have not
given ourselves completely to Him. We have made Him a part
of us. We are not One.
We use God as a stepping stool when we want to reach
something. We step on and off of our Foundation. God can’t
build on us if we aren’t rooted, grounded, and anchored.
And what He does build, is torn down or falls down because
our frame is too weak; then, we want to blame others for
our ruin.
We don’t know how to truly be still and allow Him to

take control of our lives. He cannot increase our faith
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because we’re holding on to self. We don’t want to be

truly vulnerable to have a complete relationship with Him.
We still want to keep ties and a relationship with the
world. Most often, it is because it helps us relate to
others who are still of the world. We fall to temptation
and fear because we allow things and people to come
between us and God. We are still looking for gifts in the
world, instead of the gift God put inside of us, His Holy
Spirit.
Father, teach us how to be still and know that You

are God. Reveal to us those areas in our lives in
which we are still trying to control; that prevent
you from building upon us; areas that have led to
poor judgment in our lives; and poor judgment of
areas, in the lives of others.
Help us to move beyond simply obeying You into

greatly loving You for who You are. Help us to move
beyond practicing reverence and rituals to living
in fear of separation from your presence within us.
Even so, Father, if we say we love and appreciate

You for who You are; we must also love and
appreciate how you have made us and what You have
given us; accepting that you do not make mistakes,
Father.
Those fleshly sins, in which we struggle, Lord, are

meant to separate us from You. Through Jesus, You
gave us a way to die to the flesh and conquer sin
and temptation. Jesus, help us to abide in you!
Help us to accept and celebrate who you have made

us to be. May we accept the work you have put
before us with joy and gladness; returning the love
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You are so worthy of, Father. Be our Foundation.

Build upon us; removing our weaknesses; so that we
may stand upon you rooted and grounded, with
holiness and righteousness. Amen
By the grace and mercy of God,
Your grateful servant and soldier, united with the One
mishael
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Chapter 8
Part 1 DRIVEN:
Who and What Drives You?
185
We know that GOD'S LOVE is the foremost force in our

lives that drives us. It enables us to live and love
others as He loves us. Our love for Jesus, God, our
Brothers and Sisters and the Kingdom and their love for
us, strengthens us and gives us hope for tomorrow.
There are times when God has to allow things to happen

in our life, which He knows will get our attention and
spur us into action. Sometimes, the events will be painful
and at other times, they will be encouraging and give
affirmation to our beliefs, questions, prayers, doubts,
known or unknown fears, and confirmation to His Will and
plan for our life. Still, the drive that I am referring to
is PURPOSE DRIVEN. It is something that God has planted
within you specifically not only to achieve goals, but to
live a full, purposeful and abundant life on earth. It is
found within your spirit, which is derived from God,
breathed into you to give you life and His Will for you to
live.
Jesus was driven by His purpose to fulfill prophecy and

scripture. God planted within Him, His Word. He was the
Word of God, God Incarnate. Our gifts and talents are
purpose driven, each having their own anointing. Jesus had
His own anointing. He was baptized to die for our sins and
conquer death.
We may see what drives us as a need to EXPRESS

OURSELVES in various ways, in order to fulfill our innate
need to display a gift or talent to edify the Body of
Christ or invigorate the mind to set things in motion and
people in action; such is the affect of the hearing of
God's Word upon hearing ears and open eyes, which belong
to a changed and transformed heart, which loves God.
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Throughout your rebirth, you and Jesus have been

walking and talking together. He has been with you,
helping you through this new journey and life. Already,
you have a new story to share and to tell others to
encourage them and help them along their journey, also. No
doubt, Jesus has opened your eyes to new and wondrous
things you had never seen or thought of before in your
life. He has been helping as God's Holy Spirit opens up
your gifts and talents to teach you how to use them along
the way. Both have helped to LEAD, GROW and HELP you to
find God's PURPOSE for you that will DRIVE you as you do
God's Will and live out His plan for your abundant life.
You may see things in the world, differently, such as

unrighteousness, injustice, money, children, family, a
spouse or significant other, friend(s), your job, fame or
popularity, to name a few. Although, they have importance
in your life, they may take on NEW MEANING. Things may
stand out as you look at them and although, you don't want
to be judgmental, you continue to EVALUATE them and how
they relate to you and how they look through God's eyes.
The most significant new fact to pay attention to is

the conflict within you that may arise, because you have
CHANGED. Perhaps, other things or people which are
important to you have NOT changed. This means that
ADJUSTMENTS will have to be made in your life. The
question is, what adjustment(s) and how will you go about
making changes to bring balance and resolve conflict? Or,
even more questioning is, is it POSSIBLE to bring balance
and resolve the conflict you now face within your new
life?
Decisions will have to be made, but you have God's

assurance that you will not be facing the decisions ALONE.
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Some decisions, will possibly bring about heartbreak or

pain and no doubt cause you and others to question your
new life. How will you hold fast, stand and resist and
persist as each new conflict or situation arises? Will
there be possible regrets? Will you lose faith? Will you
look back?
RELATIONSHIPS, GOD'S PROMISES, PURPOSE,

FRUITFULNESS
As you meet each new challenge or conflict, keep God's

promises close to you, because Satan will try to confound
your mind and remove your eyes from Jesus. When this
happens, the first thing you will notice is your FEELINGS
CHANGING. You may be offended or hurt by what someone
says. The imposed injury to your pride may cause anger,
irritation, impatience and a desire to flee or attack.
Fear, panic or anxiety may set in, causing the same or
similar reactions. Temptation, doubt, or insecurity may
set in and the enemy has begun his process of DISTRACTING
AND SEPARATING you from Jesus and God to divide and
conquer, placing you in bondage.
All is not lost as long as you realize that, as a Child

of God, each new experience and path to growth will be
surrounded by relationships, God's Promises, God's Purpose
for allowing it and the Fruit of His Holy Spirit that was
or was not produced. Here are some things to remember:
• ANY DISTRACTION is a call to FOCUS on your

RELATIONSHIP and CONNECTION with Jesus, God and
others. Put your eyes back on JESUS!
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• Acknowledge the presence of God within you in

everything you say, do and feel.
• Humble yourself and ask yourself if you are being
prideful and acting in the flesh.
• Surrender your will and allow God to USE you and
EMPOWER you to do HIS Will.
• GOD has not given you the spirit of FEAR.
• We do not fight FLESH with flesh, PRIDE with pride,
DARKNESS with darkness.
• Remember God has not forsaken you.
• God is always watching us.
• You have an Angel watching over you.
• What keeps God driven to take care of us is His
Unconditional Love- -Perfect Love
• Jesus loves us with the same love of His Father.
• Following Jesus and abiding in Him, keeps us on the
right path and strengthens us to bear our cross.
• Jesus is the Author and Finisher of our faith and He
will INCREASE your faith, if you allow Him to help you
to endure your trials and tribulations.
• Jesus also had to pray for strength to endure.
• Jesus also had to pray and ask His Father, so that
God's Will and Way would be done on Earth as it is in
Heaven.
• Jesus is your peace throughout the storm.
• God promised to make you like Him and sent Jesus as an
example to follow and also a Helper and Comfort, in
the form of His Holy Spirit, to ensure His plan.
• Jesus also sent others to help you grow and mature.
• You must resist and persist ALWAYS in perfect love;
loving others as Jesus loved us; loving others as you
189
love yourself.
• The power of God's Holy Spirit is within you and works
through you.
REACTING TO THE FIRE
With the aforementioned facts in mind, you have a

METHOD OF REACTION and mode or procedure of comparison to
help you through your experience(s) and help you break
through the barrier(s) that may be preventing growth,
drive, purpose, relationships, and fruitfulness.
Our reaction to Satan's distractions and attempts to

start a destructive fire, should be likened to the method
of dousing a fire. We know that the purity of water is an
effective agent sometimes, depending upon the nature of
the fire. At other times, a compound agent may be required
to extinguish the fire. An effective method has been
advised whenever someone's body is on fire, coined as
"stop, drop and roll" your body to extinguish the fire.
With this thought and intent in mind, if you are inflamed
and engulfed within one of Satan's fiery storms, intended
to distract and destroy you, then, you must STOP to put
your eyes back on Jesus (die to the flesh), DROP your
pride (humble yourself), submit to God's Will (seek His
Face); and then, ROLL all your cares in mind, body and
spirit, back to God (pray, trust, believe), who will guide
you, deliver you, and bring you through the storm (stand
on His promises).
My Brothers and Sisters, God and I want you to live

abundantly within your blessings, for this is the intent
of abundant life. He has shown me these things to help me
in my life that I may bless you as He has blessed me. I
have called these actions methods, but they are God's
Truths that make up the road--the pathway into His Kingdom
and His presence. They are part of following Jesus, The
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Truth, The Way and The Life. Apply these things to

whatever you are going through and remember that you are
"going through," which means there is a DESTINATION and a
PURPOSE, which can be and is INTENDED TO BE, PRODUCTIVE
and FRUITFUL!
Father,
We thank you for creating us in Your image, that we

may live and abide in Your Love. We thank you for
the opportunity to serve You and our Brothers and
Sisters. We acknowledge Your manifold powers, that
are displayed throughout the universe and Your
indescribable goodness and mercy to Your creations.
We Love you, Lord and we Praise You for who You
are.
The magnificence of Your plans for our lives, shows

Your Love for each and every one of us. We thank
you for sharing Your Knowledge and Wisdom. We thank
You for allowing Your Holy Spirit to dwell in us,
comfort us, teach us and remind us of Your
Omnipresence and desire to share and be a part of
our lives. You have given us Your Son to follow,
whose greater, Love and Sacrifice has never been
known.
Teach us, Father, so that we may be used by You to

do Your Will. Teach us, Father, so that we may live
ABUNDANTLY within Thy Kingdom. Teach us, Father,
that we may bring Thy Will to Earth as it is in
Heaven. Help us, through our relationship with You,
to learn to love and live with our Brother as One,
under the Mind of Christ; that we may help to carry
the burdens of others who are weak and unable; that
we may help to encourage and guide others; and that
we may help to increase Your Kingdom. Help us to
have grace and mercy upon others; forgiving as we
191
would have You to forgive us.
Father, we know that we are working on a building

and a True Foundation in Your Kingdom. Throughout
all of our trials and temptations, we know that You
have a purpose and a reason. Your Hand is upon us
molding us and shaping us. Have Your Way, dear,
Lord. Have Your Way. You are our Heavenly Father
and You know what is best for us. Your Will be
done, not ours. We want to be wholly Thine. As we
meet new challenges, search our hearts and extract
what is not pleasing in Thy sight. Incline us to
keep and to LIVE Thy Word, being ever mindful of
Your Presence, so as not to be distracted and torn
from Thee.
May we pass on the knowledge and wisdom given to us

by You, dear Lord, to strengthen and encourage
others to SHINE THE LIGHT to the straight path and
the narrow gate, lifting up the name of Jesus and
drawing men to GLORIFY Your name. These things we
pray, in the name of Your Only Begotten Son,
Yeshua, Christ Jesus. Amen.
Your servant and soldier, united with the One
mishael
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Chapter 8
Part 2 DRIVEN:
SEEING YOU AS GOD SEES YOU
193
My Brothers and Sisters,
We all have our own perspective of who we are and how

we view ourselves in the scheme of things. We have
established our own opinions and persona and the people
around us pretty much know what to expect from us. We've
developed distinct tastes and preferences in food,
clothing, music and movie genres. We've claimed our teams
to cheer for and become loyal fans of something or
someone. We've decided if we're morning people or night
owls, movers and shakers in the world, or if we prefer
following the crowd. All-in-all, because we've lived with
ourselves, we are pretty sure about who we are.
But, wait! I've been Reborn! I have a New Life! I am

One with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit! I'VE CHANGED!
WHO AM I? Do you know who YOU are now? --A Child of God?
Be more specific. Who are you now that you are no longer
ALONE?
Does anyone ever walk around openly acknowledging they

are not ALONE, like Jesus did? Hmmm, I think that would
probably get us a real quick ride to a psychiatric
facility! Usually, we leave it all up to God to
acknowledge our presence and continue behaving like a
party of one--solo --numero uno. Perhaps, that is why it
is difficult for many to function as One with the Father
and Son. Many contemporary societies frown upon people
openly acknowledging and displaying the spiritual side of
our existence.
Moving past the accepted norms within society, as they

pertain to our faith, can be a difficult hurdle to jump
194
and clear, because of the way we see ourselves within

society, relationships and life. This chapter might be
difficult for a lot of Believers to apply to their lives,
because, it involves moving past how we see ourselves,
especially in our relationships, to seeing ourselves as
God sees us and living and acting as One.
As our Father, God knows us better than we know

ourselves. He knows our strengths and He knows our faults,
but, still loves us unconditionally. He knows our
beginning and what we can become. If you will allow
yourself to see through God's eyes, you can discover a
better way to love the new you and tap into the power and
energy of the Kingdom. You will discover your true heart
and find areas where you need to learn to love like Jesus,
free of hatred, bitterness, selfishness and those feelings
and memories preventing you from growing and living
abundantly, and abiding in Him. We want to become like
Jesus so that our Father will look at us and also be well-
pleased.
I remember that there were times in my life, when my

mother became extremely disappointed in me. Now, I am able
to identify with those feelings with my own children.
However, upon weighing the times when my mother expressed
her extreme disappointment and displeasure in me and my
behavior, against the times when she expressed extreme
satisfaction and pleasure in my behavior, I found an
imbalance of sorts, where her consistent disapproval
greatly influenced the development of my character in ways
that contributed to establishing and embedding some major
character flaws.
I am happy that God has pointed these things out to me,

because, as a parent, I have caught myself struggling
internally with similar feelings of disappointment, when
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my children weren't behaving as I would have liked them to

behave. This led me to also weigh the amount of times I
have expressed approval to the times I have expressed
extreme disapproval in their actions and/or behavior.
Then, I began to look at the notable change when I have
humbled myself, abided in Jesus, and allowed God to change
me and look through His eyes. Yes, there is a remarkable
and noticeable difference.
I had to ask myself, "What message am I conveying to my

children and to others in regard to my love for them? From
my actions, words and tone of voice, can they perceive and
feel my love for them? Am I distinguishing between my
feelings for them and my feelings toward their behavior?
Are my responses and reactions appropriate and given in

love with respect for their feelings, also? Am I
responding with intention to edify and bring others closer
to follow Jesus? Or, have I blurred the lines, causing
them to become confused, conflicted, opposed to and in
total disagreement to my reactions and responses to their
behavior.
Have I led them to misconstrue my words and intentions

to mean that I am totally displeased and do not care for
them as a person, at all? Do they see me as tolerating
them? Sometimes, knowing that someone is simply tolerating
you can be just as painful as being completely ignored.
How much does it matter that I separate the person from

the behavior? How much will it help me to love
UNCONDITIONALLY and help others to SEE JESUS in me and
want to FOLLOW?
What I say and do in my relationship with others must
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reflect this thought, because I am One with The Father,

Son, Holy Spirit and the Body of Christ. How I relate to
others must prove that I am a FOLLOWER of Jesus and acting
as His Ambassador. Therefore, I must walk and talk in
love.
However, if the heart of the recipient of your words

and actions is not One with God's Holy Spirit, or should
their heart be hardened against you, will it still matter
how you speak, what you do, or how you feel about them?
YES! It is why Jesus died for all of us, to SEPARATE us
from our sins, so that we could be restored to our Father
and have a relationship with Him. We must learn to
SEPARATE the person from the darkness and death that has
fallen upon them and to love them, unconditionally!
Our relationship with them, begins the separation

process. They must feel TOUCHED by Jesus! If all a person
can feel from you is your disappointment in what they do
and how they live, the scales will never fall from their
eyes to see the love of Christ. They will feel that you
have passed judgment upon them, resulting in guilt, shame,
resentment, rebellion, etc. It prevents you from forming a
relationship with them and it may drive them deeper into
sin and bondage, create new bondage, or drive them farther
away from God, Jesus, and abundant and eternal life in the
Kingdom,
Relationships matter and how you go about forming them

can matter even more. Whether the relationship be with
your children, spouse, family, friends, coworkers, etc.,
there is ACCOUNTABILITY involved. You are accountable to
those joined as One and accountable to the Kingdom of God.
God knows that there will be: problems in your

marriage; conflicts between you and your parent(s) or
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guardian; ongoing personality conflicts and rivalry at

work; misunderstandings between friends; jealousy and
status seeking at church, and so on.
There is continual spiritual war going on! Wherein, if

we see our relationships as the battlefield, we have
already lost, for we are trying to war against flesh, in
the flesh. This is an extremely important point I need to
take time to meditate upon and store within my heart. Feel
free to join me in doing so.
Looking at ourselves through God's eyes, we are able to

ascertain what is preventing our being able to get through
to another person and determine that it is not because of
our inability to out-talk or out-think them, but our
inability to SEPARATE them from their sin, beliefs or
ideology, along with our
inability to separate ourselves from ours. We can be so
blinded by what is in our heart that we're hindered from
seeing Truth. We can be hindered in correctly processing
what we're seeing and hearing from people and unable to
understand WHAT they're FEELING and WHY they feel what
they feel. More than often, it's not so much what a person
says, but, what they feel inside, which causes them to do
what they do and say what they say. We need to understand
that they too had a beginning and try to find out what
caused the lesions and the scars. Perhaps, we've reopened
an old wound. Can we lead them to the HEALER who takes all
tears and pain away?
So, perhaps you have a stressful, precarious or

strained relationship and sometimes, things can get a
little tense, while at other times everything just falls
apart. Let's just examine a few aspects of it and possible
scenarios.
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The two of you have an argument:
Why do you feel compelled to win the argument or get in

the last word? What are you FEELING? Is it that throughout
your life nobody really listened to you? Do you feel you
have to SHOUT to be heard? Do you have so many unfulfilled
desires and dreams that you talk a lot to drown out the
sound of emptiness and unfulfillment? Is it that you can't
express what you really want to say? Does fear or being
hard-hearted have you bound--that is--in bondage? Do you
feel you can't relate to people like you want to or
should, because you really don't like how they are or how
they think, or what they've done to you or someone else?
No one has to be a Psychologist, Psychiatrist or

Behavioral Therapist to understand pain and frustration!
Yet, when you hear it and when you see it, know that you
are accountable to shine the Light of Jesus in love. He is
inside of you, waiting to help you break through the
darkness.
So, what do you do when you come into contact with your
enemy or that person who always wants to argue or out-talk
you and you can't get a word in edge-wise? How can you
have a relationship with them?
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RELATING TO OTHERS THROUGH GOD
The problem we all run into at one time or another is

trying to relate to someone who in their present state,
lacks the capacity to equally share in a relationship or
treat others as they would have others treat them. They
have set up walls and boundaries that require any
relationship to be on their terms, which can make it hard
for others to get along with them.
We on the other hand may have our own litmus test to

which we put others under in order to weed out undesirable
relationships and situations.
Some people may be plagued or haunted by bad

experiences from their past, which they pass on to others
in the form of precautions, prejudice, prejudgments and
penalties.
After having made your own assessment, you may feel

that you are left with only a few choices: avoid the
person completely; limit contact and what you say to them;
or just bite your tongue and go along with whatever they
say. However, ALL three choices do nothing to remedy or
improve the situation and reveal Truth; and only serve to
further encourage or aid in self-destruction and breaking
down the relationship; for both parties will be subject to
becoming or continuing to be trapped in darkness and
bondage. In any event, most likely, the only thing that
each individual can agree upon is a mutual feeling that
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there is nothing that can be done to help the other

person, for they would probably reject their opinion and
advice.
To engage in what resembles a contractual relationship

with someone, whereby you can only associate under their
terms would be unhealthy for BOTH of you and lacks the
mutual accountability that defines a true relationship.
Without being able to agree on common ground, how do you
show your accountability as your brother's keeper and try
to establish a healthy relationship? It depends upon the
Will of God and your ability to ACCEPT HIS WILL.
Yes, you are your brother's keeper, but you are no

longer ALONE. You have been acting on the premise that YOU
ALONE must make the decision, but as ONE, you are abiding
in TRUTH. You must be true to God and yourself. Continuing
in an unhealthy relationship is not TRUTH! Changes, which
most likely will be painful, will have to be made.
You have viewed the situation and relationship as a no-

win type of situation, however, you are supposed to be
abiding in a God who NEVER FAILS! Your idea of VICTORY may
not be the same as GOD'S truth in victory. You have been
seeing the other person as having the problem, but the
very fact that you recognize a dilemma between the two of
you proves that it takes "two" people to establish what is
perceived as irreconcilable differences. You have
perceived and established yourself as being right, which
sets up contrasting circumstances that have created a
problem in the relationship.
To be ACCOUNTABLE, you must INCLUDE GOD! He also has a

say in the relationship and He has a workable solution,
which requires change on both sides. However in this
instance you cannot FORCE the other person to be
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accountable, so, you must decide, how much are you willing
to change or sacrifice for the sake of others? Are you
willing to FOLLOW JESUS and bear your cross? Then, you
can't always have things YOUR WAY if you are going to OBEY
God and show Him how much you love HIM.
Your problematic relationship has evolved from fleshly

feelings. You have been trying to have a relationship
based on the ways of the world, which made it inevitably
doomed because it was not connected with Truth. Therefore,
the enemy was able to taint communication and interaction
with the bitter taste of judgment, animosity, past
failures and offenses, and anything darkness could dredge
up from hurt, self-righteous, and unforgiving, hardened
hearts.
God is seeing you differently than you see yourself

because He dwells WITHIN YOU. HE sees not only who you are
now, but, who you can become in HIM. IF you were abiding
in HIM, YOU could see what you can become IN HIM!
So far, we know that through our new birth we must look

at our life as it is being shared with the Father, Son and
Holy Spirit, along with our role as an important member of
the Body of Christ. We must see ourselves as being part of
an ongoing relationship, under the Mind of Christ, who
seeks out other relationships.
Due to our union with God, through God's eyes, we can

see our potential as to what we are capable of doing
through Him. Therefore, all things are possible. Because,
He knows our heart, He knows what adjustments are
necessary in our relationships. He is waiting for us to
surrender our will and trust Him.
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Our relationships must reflect our union as One.

Therefore, we must walk always in Truth by FAITH and not
by SIGHT. IT IS ACCEPTABLE to acknowledge that you are not
ALONE! Hence, we can already verify that our unhealthy
relationship does not line up with the Word of God and
will affect our accountability to the other members of the
Body and to Jesus and God.
If we wish to continue in the relationship, we must

surrender to the Will and Way of God and release the
Truth, Power and Character of God into the relationship,
in order for us to produce good fruit.
So, what is God's Will for this relationship and will

one or both parties follow God's Way? We will begin to
explore this in our next chapter.
Peace be with you Brethren!
your loving servant and soldier, united with the One,
mishael
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Chapter 8
Part 3 DRIVEN:
UNLOCKING THE DOOR TO

EMPOWERMENT
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God wants us to have abundant lives. God does not

contradict Himself. He would not promise this to us, have
us surrender our will and then leave us to live miserable
and struggling lives. There is no contradiction or
discrepancy in what He says or what He does; neither has
God failed to make it clear as to what God expects from
man, nor His plan for man.
There may be several reasons why we see contradiction,

discrepancy or lack understanding of God's Word. It may be
due to our spiritual maturity or life experience. There
may be something preventing us from making a connection
intellectually or spiritually. God may reveal some Truth
to us in His appointed time. We may be blinded by our
inability to repent and surrender our will and come to
truly know God and His Son, Jesus. Any one or combination
of these things will keep us from being empowered and
living life abundantly. Knowing Jesus makes all the
difference, because, He is the Gateway to the Father,
whose Holy Spirit will teach and assure us of all things.
It is God's Will for us to live abundantly within His
Kingdom. How do we unlock the door that empowers us to do
so?
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WHO IS GOD? WHO IS JESUS?
Some believe that those who call the Creator by another

name, other than that which they have been taught are
worshiping a false god--an idol. There is discrimination
and judgment between those who debate Jesus as the Son of
God. But, do they know who Jesus is? Do they know who God
is?
Before Jesus, Who is the Word in the flesh, there was

the Word and the Word WAS GOD. Abraham came to KNOW and
believe GOD, who is THE WORD and it was counted to him as
righteousness. Again, Abraham came to know and believe
GOD, who is THE WORD and it was counted to him as
righteousness. This spiritual being was simply known as
the God of Abraham. Knowing and believing God's Word,
empowered Abraham.
In the beginning WAS THE WORD. Until The Word was made
flesh, as Jesus, all man had to believe on was The Word in
the Spirit, Who is GOD!
God came as The Word to Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Elijah

Elias, Jeremiah, Daniel and the other prophets. Moses
experienced God in Word and Spirit. Haggai, Abraham's
servant and the mother of his son, Ishmael, prayed and
heard Him. As the child cried out, God heard Ishmael, who
then, experienced Him as the Word, the God of his father,
Abraham, who believed God's Word.
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God identified Himself to Moses simply as I AM. The

Children of Jacob, whom God renamed Israel, know Him by
many names, according to how He manifests Himself and in
reverence to His Holiness, do not speak His given name.
Isaiah, Samuel, David and Solomon knew Him as the God of
their forefathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. They too,
knew God because they had a relationship with Him and
experienced Him. Those who have experienced Him have often
become empowered by Him.
God is Omnipresent and Omnipotent! We can know Him by

His character and by our experience with Him. But, what of
His true name? Who is right? Who is serving the real God?
God will not reveal His name to us because of the POWER
and HOLINESS it holds, just as there is POWER and
HOLINESS, wonder-working power, in the name of JESUS! Yes,
there is power in the name of God, but to unleash the
power, one must know and believe in His Word. Jesus'
reference to those who served God being His family should
shed some light on who knows and experiences God. Those
who serve, obey God and in turn love God, because they
have heard His Word and experienced Him.
The world is filled with a multitude of religions,

cults and sects. Wars rage with brothers fighting brothers
and persecution of one religion over another. Even if some
became worthy of the knowledge of God's name, others,
through the hardness of their hearts toward one another
and their unbridled tongue, would destroy one another with
the power that is in the true, Holy name of the Almighty
God. See how men, even those who call themselves Believers
take the Lord's name in vain, with the habitual and
flagrant use of OMG, paying no heed to the commandment of
God for us not to take His name in vain. Man as a whole
has not learned to revere and fear God, even using the
name by which we call Him. Many people sometimes even
using His name to curse their brothers and sisters!
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Empowerment comes with obedience to God and a holy

relationship.
Many may say that they want a relationship with God.

However, they don't pay attention to the details of that
relationship, since their perception of a relationship has
been predetermined by the behavior they have learned
within the world. They need to be deprogrammed. But, one
must determine if they are ready for this step to
empowerment which requires total submission to God's Will
and seeing things through His eyes. We must ask ourselves,
"Am I ready for TOTAL SUBMISSION or do I still feel that
I'm running things and I can steer my ship where I want it
to go, and live the life I want to live or I've always
dreamed of? Do I still feel that it's my decision and mine
alone: who I love and associate with; who I listen to; who
gets my time, attention and affection? Do I believe I can
apply the things of the world to the Kingdom of God?"
Some may say, "Sure, I'll have a relationship with God.

I'll try to get along with other people, but, it will be
on my terms. I believe I can be obedient to God, as long
as I don't have to deal with people I don't like or
disagree with. And, when I go to church or worship, nobody
will be the wiser. I'll fit in with the rest of the
worshipers, because, I know the routine."
But, is this part of God's PLAN for your life? How does
this EMPOWER you? Is this part of ABUNDANT life, or are
you still waiting because you have been told that, "The
best is yet to come"? But, is it, if you don't understand
what "the best," is?
Is this your excuse to live as you please now expecting

God's approval because you're showing INITIATIVE?! While
you're expecting to receive the best, God is expecting you
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to become your best through a relationship with Him.
Meanwhile, according to some people, there is no

waiting on the Lord and being of good courage as it
applies to the way you want to live YOUR LIFE! God will
have to catch up, because according to the world you're
behind schedule. You want to keep up with your peers and
live life before you get too old or you're already too old
to change! CONTROL! The throttle is in your hand and it's
full speed ahead!
Some may even believe their power and energy is in

their youth or in the fact that they are still alive. Yet
wisdom whispers, "Yes, you are alive, but, by the Grace
and Mercy of God." And, if you cannot recognize Grace and
Mercy, then, you don't really know God."
If your agenda and plan for your life requires you to

set aside your faith and obedience to God; if seeking the
Kingdom of Heaven first, falls at number two or below on
the list, then your detour has already taken you off the
right path and Jesus is no where in sight. But, if you
really knew who Jesus was, you'd have known to look toward
Heavenly things FIRST to stay on course.
These examples of little faith aren't too uncommon, as

most Believers have been playing hop-scotch or following a
checkered path instead of traveling a straight and narrow
road, which is why it has been so easy to distract them
from their focus on Jesus. They believe they can apply the
world to Kingdom life, instead of applying Kingdom life to
the world.
They see success as it applies to the world and fear as

it applies to trying to gain from the world.
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They cannot see and understand that fear lies in their

inability to let go of the world, see TRUTH to live
abundantly in the Kingdom of God.
So, what is the difference? How do we define

"abundance," bringing it to earth, as it is in Heaven?
Does it mean I will have to live a life of poverty,
whereas, I have what some perceive and label as poverty
mentality, fearing wealth, status, fame and it's
corruption or its responsibility and demands upon me
intellectually, emotionally, spiritually or even
physically? No, Jesus told us about Heaven, and His
Father's House, which holds many mansions. We have read
that the streets are paved with gold. God wants us to
enjoy the beauty of the earth and the fullness thereof as
it is in Heaven.
But, where does Heavenly wealth come from, other than

the apparent creation of God? Why is there wealth in
Heaven? Or is it seen as wealth? Whatever it is, what
makes one worthy to receive it, and how do we bring this
Will of God to Earth? Is everyone worthy? Should everyone
be seeking wealth and that which comes with it? Should we
count those who aren't seeking the so-called, "good things
in life," as being "losers," "poverty minded," afraid to
be "the best they can be," or, "grab the gusto," or, "take
the bull by the horns?" Are they living in fear of
expressing themselves, living life to the fullest and
achieving a higher status or goal in life? Or, should this
basic way of thinking be attributed to the elite,
fearless, adventurous, capitalists, the result of
westernization and globalization, and the worldly minded?"
Is there a happy medium? Where will God's empowerment lead
us or are we seeking to use empowerment to lead ourselves?
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But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his

righteousness; and all these things shall be added
unto you.
If I am not seeking the Kingdom first, then, I am not

ready for all that God has to offer me. If I keep clinging
to the world and the flesh, looking back, then, I am not
worthy for all that God has to offer me. If I run ahead of
God to get what I want, disobeying and committing sin upon
sin, then:
Mark 8:36 King James Version (KJV)
For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the

whole world, and lose his own soul?
If we are looking for something to empower us, to

energize us in life and propel us into our destiny, which
is God's plan for our life, we must become less focused on
ourselves and more focused on knowing God and becoming
like Him to become who HE desires us to be. He has
promised us that everything else will be added. Does that
mean that all of God's ships sail to bigger and brighter
things or is God more concerned with making us better?
As He was trying to tell Moses, I AM, is more than a

name. It defines who, what, where, why and even how God
is. This is the authority and power by which we live in
abundance! It is because we know GOD and we abide in a
connection with Him that we have power over our flesh and
sin of the world!
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Many feel that they have been emboldened and freed of

fear, having chosen to forge ahead with their goals and
dreams in life. This they might do, if their goal is to
live abundantly within the world. However, they will STILL
lack one thing.
If one intends to live abundantly within God's Kingdom,

then, to let go of fear is to be made perfect in love. One
cannot shed their chains of bondage until they have
surrendered their will to God to let His Kingdom come into
their life. When our love is perfected, it has been freed
from the corruption of the world and we see clearly the
meaning of abundance as it pertains to the Kingdom!
Abundance in the Kingdom is increase! God intends for us
to live an increased life--fruitful. Everything as it
pertains to the Kingdom, produces increase--fruitfulness.
Therefore, if I am to have a relationship, it must produce
increase! IT MUST BE FRUITFUL!
To be free and free indeed is the price of TRUTH, paid

for by the blood Jesus shed for us. Therefore, if one
desires to be freed of chains and bondage, then they must
accept the TRUTH, THE WAY, AND THE LIFE!
The truth is that God desires our relationships to be

fruitful. If, we are living abundantly, our abundance is
determined by our ability to be fruitful, producing
increase.
However, we can STAND in TRUTH, HOLINESS and

RIGHTEOUSNESS and be fruitful. Our standing produces
increase in that it requires us to utilize spiritual
power, thereby, yielding the fruit of God's Holy Spirit.
We cannot leave God out of letting go of our fears or
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changing our life, or we will continue to travel a

checkered pathway, being Satan's pawn, doing his bidding,
and believing we are doing "good." Although, the pathway
may take us to new and interesting places, it will
continue to detour us from the pathway to the Kingdom.
I AM A SEED
If we are to remain fruitful, pursuing, creating and

engaging in healthy relationships, we, ourselves must be
in a healthy state. In order to continue to grow and
produce, we can think of ourselves as a seed.
Are we on fertile ground, within a healthy environment,

conducive to nurturing growth? Do we have access to the
water of Life, Jesus? Have we chosen to root ourselves
within our faith, with God as our foundation? Are we
basking and growing in The Light of the World, JESUS, who
shines the Light upon the true path? Or, are we "ALWAYS
CHASING RAINBOWS," looking for our pot of gold?
Having a relationship with others is dependent upon our

staying on the right pathway with Jesus, following Him and
obeying God. It is closely intertwined and woven into
God's plan and purpose for our life. We and our
relationships are empowered and energized through knowing
who God is and our relationship with Him.
Finding your energy and becoming empowered requires

rechecking your connection to be revived, Knowing that you
have access to I AM within you to give you the strength
and power to stand and endure; to conquer and drive you on
213
to do that which God has planned and purposed for you.
To have a purpose and be needed makes one feel useful,

fulfilling that same need that flowed through our Father
when He created the Universe and man; the need for power
and energy to increase and flow, creating endless
possibilities; but, also, creating a desire to connect
with something in a relationship, which required someone
to experience them with God in a relationship, sharing in
love and companionship.
It appears that the Universe knows its purpose as does

nature, the flora and fauna. Yet, man struggles when it
comes to finding his purpose, not because of a lack of
will to act, but, an inability to surrender his will to
God. Man tends to focus his will inwardly upon himself.
God's love, perfect and unconditional love gave man
freewill to choose. Our love for God can lead us to
surrender and give our will back to God to be empowered,
directing our actions outward to be fruitful to benefit
others and the Kingdom.
So, is it that life is so confusing, or have we caused

ourselves confusion when we refuse to have a relationship
with God or fail to put Him as the Head of our lives?
Since God is not a god of confusion, it would serve us
well to admit our errors and know that our lives will take
on order and purpose by surrendering our will to Him to
become vessels and servants within His Kingdom. Therein,
will HIS plan become known for us, fulfilling His promise
of abundant and eternal life, when we choose to become
PURPOSE DRIVEN.
Driven by our PURPOSE, God prepares us and everything

around us. He will not send us into the fields unequipped
and alone. Those gifts or talents we need will be revealed
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and manifested through His Holy Spirit. He will direct us

to the right place to achieve the necessary skills and
help from others along the way. Jesus will keep us on the
right path and teach us to be like Him, obeying our Father
and enduring when times get hard and the road gets rough.
There are many tests and assessments you can take to

help determine your skills, gifts and talents, desires,
likes and dislikes. However, understanding God's purpose
for them is what helps us to be empowered and stay on the
right path with Jesus.
• Evaluate your current position: Fruitfulness,

satisfaction, meeting current and future needs, etc.
• In your current position, are you being obedient to
God's Will?
• Do you know your place within the Body?
• How do you see yourself within the world?
• Does your world view conflict with the Kingdom?
• What do you have to offer in the world for the benefit
of the Kingdom?
• Do you know your value to the world? --to God?
• Only believe, all things are possible. Do you see your
goals as achievable with God?
• With God, all things are possible. What does He want
you to do?
• Can you do what God wants you to do and what you want
to do?
• How prepared are you?
• What will it take for you to position yourself or move
into place?
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• Is Jesus just waiting for you to follow? Following the

Mind of Christ, Jesus will help us discover our place
within the Body and within the Kingdom. You are a seed
just waiting to be planted to be fruitful and
increase.
LOOSING AND BINDING, FREELY RENDERING

GOD'S LOVE TO OTHERS
Now, let us apply our given knowledge to God's Will for

our relationships, even when faced with enemies, foes, the
disagreeable, argumentative and alike. Does God expect us
to have increase and be FRUITFUL at ALL TIMES? YES! Can
you have a relationship with an ENEMY that produces fruit?
YES! Does it mean that I associate with the enemy and we
are on friendly terms? No, but, because YOU choose within
YOUR heart to love, learn and grow from the relationship,
you are bringing Kingdom principles to earth, which plant
and nurture seeds that will grow and increase. Your enemy
may never love you as a friend, but, as you STAND in
Holiness and Righteousness, they may come to respect you,
wherein, God may use them to work on your behalf. Giving
God's love unto others looses and binds things on earth
and in Heaven, preventing the spread of darkness and
increasing the Light. God's Love has power over Darkness!
Hating, being bitter, or even indifferent towards others
robs us of our energy, our connection to God's Power, and
ability to loose and bind the Darkness directed at us and
others to kill, steal and destroy.
As Believers, we have a choice to make. Are we

concerned only with our own lives, choosing only to love
those who are like us, which the Bible reminds us isn't
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difficult to do, or to be made perfect in love, giving

others the opportunity to experience God's love and the
fruitfulness thereof, and perhaps, saving another life
other than our own.
　
Luke 6:32-36 King James Version (KJV)
32 For if ye love them which love you, what thank

have ye? for sinners also love those that love them.
33 And if ye do good to them which do good to you,

what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the
same.
34 And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to

receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend
to sinners, to receive as much again.
35 But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend,

hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be
great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest:
for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.
36 Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is

merciful.
We need only look at the flowers, birds and bees to

realize that everything within the Kingdom is purpose
driven to be fruitful and yield increase, even using that
which is in Darkness to achieve God's plans for Holiness
and Righteousness. As you stand against adversity, seek to
form or maintain relationships, or work to fulfill your
purpose and live day to day, remembering that finding your
energy and becoming empowered requires rechecking your
connection to be revived, knowing that you have access to
I AM within you to give you the strength and power to
stand and endure; to conquer and drive you on to do that
217
which God has planned and purposed for you to live

abundantly, yielding His Fruit and producing INCREASE.
With abounding love, your servant, and soldier
mishael
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Chapter 8
Part 4
STARTING EACH DAY DRIVEN
Galatians 5:22-23 King James Version (KJV)
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy,

peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness,
faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is

no law.
219
Each day I should arise acknowledging He, whom I love,

my Heavenly Father, His Son and Holy Spirit, giving Praise
and Thanksgiving. Then, I should connect in prayer,
listening for my Father's voice and instructions. With
praise upon my lips and a song in my heart, I should awake
to joy and rejoicing for another day and another chance.
Yes, this is what I should do everyday.
That I have lived to see another day is a wonderful

blessing and in whatever state I am in, be it sickness,
or, however distressful, I have a Heavenly Father who
knows how much I can bear.
Even, with the burden of pain, it can be well with my
soul, if I keep my eyes on Jesus, trusting and believing
in the Will of God.
How can I still have abundant life during trials and

tribulations? I must remember that I am a spiritual being
and my body is a vessel. I follow the Mind of Christ, who
bore all our sins, grief, pain and the humility of the
cross. Hallelujah! He overcame them all. He conquered the
flesh and the world. He was PURPOSE DRIVEN, by God and
their love for man. Jesus, being filled with God's
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, was purpose driven by His love for His
Father. Therein, must be MY FOCUS, also, if I am to be
purpose driven--perfect in love; love for God and Christ;
and love for my fellow man.
Each morning, I must remember that God and others are

counting on me. They may be people I don't even know.
Should I shirk or neglect my duties, God will move on to a
more willing vessel, but, do I want Him to do that? Are
there consequences? Will I miss blessings? My primary
focus should not be on missing out on blessings. That is
not a sign of unconditional love. My perfected love should
220
compel me to PLEASE GOD. My spirit which THIRST for

Holiness and Righteousness should compel me to please God.
However, there will be days when my body affects my

spirit and vice-a-versa, my spirit will affect my body.
God knows how much I can bear. He knows that there will be
times in my human and bodily state, whereas, I might not
be up for the task. Will He punish me for this? NO! So,
why should I allow Satan to distract me, wasting time,
punishing myself?
God allows us times of rest, relaxation, healing,

recuperation and preparation. His goal is for us to
rejoice and rejoice always!
God will not PRESSURE you, filling you with FEAR or

ANXIETY. These are weapons and distractions of the enemy.
They are to keep you from living life abundantly, being
fruitful and pleasing in God's sight.
You can still be fruitful, when you're not working, for

even when you REJOICE, you are producing fruit and doing
God's Will. Have you ever thought about that? The enemy
wants to keep us unhappy because JOY is a fruit of God's
Holy Spirit. Wherefore, there must be POWER when we
manifest JOY! Power that the enemy fears! And, you thought
it was all just for you. Well, it is for you, but, every
fruit produces INCREASE. Your joy benefits others. Do you
think the enemy wants that? That's one of the reasons why
your Father tells you to "rejoice, again, I say rejoice."
At all times, and even in adversity, He tells us to be
thankful and rejoice in our trials and tribulations! It is
a powerful expression, which can encourage, give strength
to you and others, and outwardly express the reward of
abundant life!
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Do not consider it to be a selfish thing to express

joy. Take it and give it to others. We are all capable of
doing that in some form or another, through thought, word,
and deed. Paint, run, dribble a ball, fish, sing, shout,
dance, or do whatever God has instilled within you to give
you and others JOY!
Pray for JOY to come unto others. Do you know how much
that could mean to someone who is struggling, suffering,
grieving or depressed? Suicide is a huge contributor to
death. Many people don't have true joy in their life and
don't know how to acquire it.
One might think, what good is joy to people in hunger,

war, and other dark circumstances? Note that Joy doesn't
travel by itself, it brings faith, hope and other fruit
along. A smile says many things and when we help to place
it upon the faces of others, it makes the body do
something it may not have been able to do without you. A
smile is Light beaming from us into another, offering hope
and love.
Don't ever feel that God can't use you in another way.
He may not call you to do your usual work because He needs
you in another capacity. Perhaps, it is time for you to
rest; or, it is time for you to prepare; or, it is time
for you to BE STILL, watching, and always praying.
So, how will I know when this is happening and what is

expected of me? STAY CONNECTED! Keep your eyes on Jesus!
Don't give in to fear, anxiety, frustration, confusion,
depression and other signs of darkness. Although, these
things might come, DON'T GIVE UP! Know that they are
temporary and also have a purpose!
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Even more, don't get upset with yourself and beat

yourself up for allowing these things to happen to you.
God knows you're human. Yes, it can feel like a weak thing
to be, but, all-in-all being human is a blessing. God made
you wondrously! He doesn't make mistakes! You've just
forgotten that, not only are you human, but, you are not
ALONE! The Almighty, Powerful, Loving God lives inside of
you. Put your eyes back on Jesus during these times and
BASK IN HIS LOVE!
A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING
I arose very early this morning, thinking about how

easy it can be to accept the plight of others without
empathy, if we have not experienced the same thing. It may
not be because we lack compassion and love, but, due to
not having had something in our own lives in which to
relate their experience. We simply can't understand
because we can't relate.
When we read the Bible, we see people in a different

time frame. Their culture, tools, weapons, food, clothing,
beliefs and mannerisms are very different from most of
ours, today. In other words, their normal, daily life does
not coincide with ours, today. Even in areas of our world
today where there is severe poverty, without
modernization, there have been changes and some exposure
to contemporary society which would somewhat alienate them
from the ancient societies we read about in the Bible.
Yet, God has enabled us to still be able to connect,

SPIRITUALLY. We can feel their pain, suffering, joy, and
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victory, regardless of knowing them PERSONALLY and living

within their span of time. It can be as if time stood
still and allowed us to watch. These feelings we have
within our spirit exuding from our heart are projected
upon our mind and our brain can create a picture in
Technicolor, sometimes even with surround sound. All
because of our spirit, which came from God.
God wants us to experience things from our past and

from the lives of others to DRIVE us to a certain point or
destination of thought that has a purpose! He has
orchestrated time so that NOTHING is ever without purpose
and can span eons of time to be used by Him for His Divine
Purpose and Plan! Therefore, connected to GOD, your LIVING
is never in VAIN. If you have lost someone who was
connected to God, their living will never be in vain. In
the grand scheme of things, just as those we read about in
The Word of God, OUR LIVING IS PURPOSE DRIVEN TO GOD'S
PLAN!
Of course, the enemy knows this, so, that when he gets

inside the head of those who want to harm themselves or
GIVE UP, he's spreading lies to keep them from knowing the
TRUTH, The Way, and The Life, which belong to them; Jesus,
who is alive to give them abundant and everlasting life.
The enemy knows we are ALIVE to help fulfill God's PLAN
for man. It is no secret! God let it be known. It's just
that sometimes we believe the lies of the enemy. We may
have people around us gossiping, discouraging us, telling
us we're nobody or useless, and helping the enemy to
spread lies.
Nonetheless, connected to God we can become purpose

driven. We should be purpose driven just knowing God's
plan for man to become like Him! Think of it! What a plan!
We have so much to look forward to, if we stick with the
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program! Meanwhile, we can have abundant life on earth,

being a caretaker of the earth, brother to one another,
fruitful, and increasing the Kingdom of God, until that
time, in which our change comes.
Abundant life on earth; perhaps your environment or

circumstances cause you to question the possibility of
this. I can see why many dispute this fact, if they only
see through their own eyes. When Jesus said that He and
His disciples were no longer of the world, perhaps, He was
speaking of their assured death in the future. Perhaps, He
just came to prepare us for life after death. Perhaps, "It
is finished," referred only to the fulfilling of prophecy
on earth. Would God allow His Son to die for something so
brief and seemingly incomplete that allowed us to go on
sinning, business as usual, and you've got all the time in
the world to get yourself together for the afterlife? Who
would serve such a god? And, who should serve such a god?
God is complete in His actions! His Son's life and

death meant something to HIM and He would not have
sacrificed Jesus so that you and I could go on sinning,
living in the flesh, succumbing to fear and every plot and
ploy of the enemy. Jesus brought us something better for
now--abundant and everlasting life. We need not fear life
or death because Jesus conquered the world to show us the
Truth, the Way and the Life.
Can you see the big, bright, beautiful picture, my

brothers and sisters, which includes YOU? God doesn't make
mistakes! I NEED YOU! GOD NEEDS YOU! WE NEED EACH OTHER!
You are ALIVE, in whatever state you are in, even if you
are barely hanging on to life! It will NEVER be in vain,
if you stay CONNECTED, in a loving relationship with your
Heavenly Father, doing His Will. This is abundance! The
world can't give you this. The world can't give the SAME
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type of abundant life to a paraplegic as it can to an

Olympic athlete! The world can't give the same type of
purpose to a child dying from disease as a war hero dying
for his country. The world can't give the same type of
status to a homeless man as to a multi-billionaire. But,
within GOD'S EYES, yes, within your Savior and our
Father's eyes, His children are equally PRECIOUS,
LOVED,and IMPORTANT to His Divine Plan! Amen.
Yes, one day we will shed these corruptible bodies for

the incorruptible and go on to be and see what eyes
haven't seen and ears haven't heard, but God, took the
time to dwell within us! That should say it all! Why would
God offer to take up residence in a body filled with sin?
Unholiness has no place with holiness. God intends for us
to live Holy without sin. He wants only good things for
our life, now--here on earth. Let us start each day with
our Father, abiding in His Holy Spirit with Jesus. Below
are some key things to remember.
• ARISE each morning and ACKNOWLEDGE the Father, Son and

Holy Spirit within you
• BEGIN to follow Jesus
• GIVE God THANKS and PRAISE!!
• ARM yourself in God's Holy Armor to do His Will
• SEE a bigger picture, greater purpose, and Divine Plan
in your life
• REMEMBER that Jesus died for you! He was purpose
driven and knew He was destined for the cross, but,
because of Jesus' sacrifice:
• What are you destined for? --An eternity with God
• TALK to God! What are you destined for TODAY?
• ASK HIM for what you need and desire; first, setting
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your sight on Heavenly things

• PRAYER is your Morning exercise in spirit.
• MAINTAIN YOUR BODY: Caring for your vessel and temple
of God is your responsibility and gratefulness to He
who dwells within and also connected to abundant life.
• FEED your spirit the Word of God. Study and fill your
mind, body and spirit with His Goodness.
• ACKNOWLEDGE who you are in Christ
• ACKNOWLEDGE your purpose
• ACKNOWLEDGE your strength within
• DRAW upon God's strength to become charged to shine
the Light
• KEEP your lamp fueled and burning with Truth,
Holiness, Righteousness, and all the fruit of God's
Holy Spirit, knowing that you draw from an endless
well, who will never leave you alone
• SHINE YOUR LIGHT; never hide it and "put it under a
basket."
• ACKNOWLEDGE your abundant and eternal life in the
Kingdom of God
• Love God, Jesus, yourself and others throughout the
day
• INCLUDE God in everything you do
• EXPAND beyond yourself to touch someone else; be an
Ambassador for Christ and "spread the Good News. The
Kingdom of God is at hand."
• This us YOUR abundant life; be fruitful; be holy; live
and REJOICE ALWAYS.
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A SEASON AND A TIME
There is a season and a time for everything. Time was

created for man to know the time and seasons of life,
therefore, we should not always look for things in our
time, but, remember that God does things in His time. He
knows what is best for us.
Ecclesiastes 3 King James Version (KJV)
1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to

every purpose under the heaven:
2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to

plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to

break down, and a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to

mourn, and a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather

stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to
refrain from embracing;
6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep,

and a time to cast away;
7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep

silence, and a time to speak;
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war,

and a time of peace.
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My Brothers and Sisters, again, I implore you to rest

in HIS Will for you today, knowing that connected to The
Vine, you shall always produce GOOD Fruit! He will
strengthen you and give you courage. Today, will not be in
vain! For you are Divinely Driven. And should His will for
you be to: Be Still, wait, watch, relax, pray, humble
yourself, read and believe in His Word and promises, enjoy
yourself and rejoice; for it is the Will of God. Keep your
eyes on Jesus and stay Purpose Driven, within His Divine
Will and Plan for Heaven and Earth to increase the
Kingdom! Amen and Praise God!
your servant, united as One,
mishael
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~
Ecclesiastes 3(KJV)
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Intermittent Waves Recorded From the

Transformed Heart of a Woman
Episode 2: Auntie Yonny
230

Episode 2: Auntie Yonny
As Hal approached the front of the hospital, the first

thing he noticed, were the shiny brass revolving doors on
each side of the building. They were uncommon in other
hospitals throughout the city, as were the limousines and
chauffeurs dropping off and picking up the visitors and
patients. As a reporter, he'd been in every hospital in
the city, but this was a private hospital catering mainly
to the very wealthy and elite.
"I bet they don't serve bad food here," he thought,

laughing to himself. "They probably have private chefs and
waiters and the whole bit."
When he entered the door, it didn't take Hal long to

get noticed. Carrying a backpack, wearing a baseball cap,
camouflage pants and a scruffy looking jacket, that he was
afraid to wash because it might fall apart, it was clear
that he didn't share the same taste in clothing as the
usual clientele, who were sporting Italian suits and
carrying brief cases. He heard a woman's voice offering to
help him. After taking a panoramic view of the massive
lobby, his eyes focused upon the information desk and
pointed his feet in the direction of a classy-looking
receptionist whose eyes scanned him from top to bottom and
then settled upon his jacket, which Hal proudly viewed as
his 'statement' piece of clothing. What statement it made
depended upon the mood he was in that day.
Fixing her eyes upon the jacket with a distasteful

look, she asked, "Sir, can I help you in some way? We
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don't admit regular patients here."
Hal wasn't quite sure what she was implying by her

question or insinuating by her remark; or if she expected
the jacket she was staring at to reply, but, he decided to
play it straight and not waste time and effort dwelling
upon it.
"Yes, thank you. I've come to see Mrs. Yanovich, at her

request. I'm a reporter with The Daily."
The young woman looked at him with skepticism, so, he

forced a smile and showed her his press identification.
After typing information into her computer, she looked

at him suspiciously and then studied the computer monitor
again. "We have to be careful about reporters bothering
our clients and trying to find out if someone famous is
being treated here. I don't see your name listed as a
visitor on Mrs. Yanovich's record. I'll have to call up to
the room to verify your appointment,” she informed him,
rather dryly.
She pressed a few buttons on her phone and waited for

an answer. Hal decided to go look at some of the artwork
and sculptures, which apparently made the receptionist
very nervous. Out of the corner of his eye, he would catch
her head following him as she tried to talk on the phone.
She hung up the phone and stood up, nervously calling him.
"Mr. Siegfried! Mr. Siegfried!"
Hal strolled over to the reception desk and she heaved
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a sigh of relief.
"Mr. Siegfried, Mrs. Yanovich's Secretary verified your

appointment. Her niece is with her now. She is sending a
body guard to escort you to her suite. Please have a seat
and wait for him right here."
Hal felt like a misbehaving student who had his desk

moved next to the teacher. He smiled inwardly thinking
that it was funny he remembered that. He guessed he had
spent a lot of time in elementary school sitting next to
the teacher for having distracted the whole class with
some prank or clowning around. Obediently, he took a seat
in a lobby chair across from the receptionist.
A few minutes went by and he looked at his watch.
"This is a huge hospital. Everybody has to have their

own suite," he thought, "probably why it's taking him so
long. Glad I cleared the whole morning. This might be the
biggest story of my LIFE! Who knows what it might lead to;
more money; a job at a bigger newspaper; books and book
signings; hey, maybe even a Pulitzer Prize! “He shook his
head refuting the idea and then decided, "Why not?"
He was here and he was going to make this the best

story he ever covered, but there was one thought that kept
popping up in his mind, "Why did she ask for me, a
reporter on the low level of the totem pole?"
From his dark suit, build and serious face, Hal could
tell that the man coming down the hall was a man serious
about his job and people probably didn't get in his way to
prevent him from doing it very often. It had to be the
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body guard.
Depriving the receptionist of making an introduction,

the body guard bypassed the receptionist and headed
straight toward him. No doubt he always did his homework,
too. Hal looked at his perfectly shined shoes and at that
moment thought of several jokes he would have made in
school about him being a goody two shoes.
He was about to offer his hand to shake, but, as soon

as the man came within ten feet of Hal, he said, "Follow
me Mr. Siegfried," then, snapped around into an about
face.
"Clearly military," Hal surmised, “and probably a

jarhead, leatherneck, devil dog, Marine. You can always
tell a Marine, but you can't tell him much," he jokingly
said to himself, remembering an old Marine joke. Hal often
laughed at his own corny jokes. He always took pleasure in
his ability to amuse himself and find something to laugh
about, to make life easier and the day more interesting.
However, he knew not to put too much stock into his
comedic talents, if you could call them that. Experience
had taught him and friends had advised him to keep his day
job, because, he’d make a lousy comedian.
Hal decided that following the tall, muscle-bound,

thick-necked figure ahead of him, who cast a huge shadow
over him, dwarfing his somewhat ordinary and small
stature, was definitely something to laugh about. Yet, he
made sure not to let the jarhead Marine know that he was
the object of his amusement. There would be nothing
amusing in being on the receiving end of a punch from
huge, sledge-hammer fists.
234
They took a mirror-paneled elevator in the west wing of

the hospital. Hal, made sure he kept a straight face.
"The West Wing, how appropriate”, Hal mumbled under his

breath. Then, he began to wonder if the location was a
deliberate arrangement or just coincidental. Hal made a
mental note to ask someone. It would definitely add a bit
of irony and intrigue to his story.
The elevator stopped on the top floor. He had no idea

that there was a hospital in the city that had a
penthouse, but evidently, this one did and this family had
the money to pay for staying in it.
The elevator opened up to an ornate foyer, where he was

greeted by a middle-aged woman holding a laptop, whom he
took to be the secretary. Without even a howdy-doo, nice
to meet you, the body guard took his station in front of a
monitor, relieving another man who began to surveil the
premises.
"Good morning, Mr. Siegfried! I'm Darla, Mrs.

Yanovich's secretary."
"Please, call me, Hal."
They shook hands and Darla offered with some reluctance

to take Hal's jacket and hang it up. Feeling a little
embarrassed, but at the same time possessive of his
favorite article of clothing, Hal politely declined.
"Please come with me, Hal. But, before we go into see

Mrs. Yanovich, please understand that she is very weak and
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barely hanging on. She's been advised not to over exert

herself, but, she insisted upon this interview. Please,
please don't strain her or cause her any duress. I don't
think you should stay any longer than half an hour, but,
Mrs. Yanovich is determined to go on for as long as she
can.
However, I think that if she holds out for the next few
days, perhaps you can come back for a short time."
Hal hadn't expected to be asked to come back or to have

access to Mrs. Yanovich for any great length of time. He
had heard she was on her last leg and could go any minute,
but he guessed that her money had bought her some extra
time. She had outlived two of her brothers and two of her
children.
However, she had become a woman of great faith, doing a

tremendous amount of charity work around the globe, as if
trying to right her family's wrongs.
Hal remembered reading an article in a magazine where

she had attributed her age and her longevity to her
healthy lifestyle, her undying faith in God and His Grace
and Mercy. But, here she was, like everyone else, now. Her
time had run out and not even her money could change that.
He wondered how much about her life and her family she
would reveal to him. Would he dare to ask her the hard
questions in her present state? He better save them for
last to prevent getting kicked out of the room too early
in the interview.
Hal wished he had had more time to talk to her, before
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her decline; the stories she must have to tell, buried

deep inside of her. Hal hoped she was still able to
remember things. There were so many unanswered questions
the world still wanted to know.
Darla led Hal to a sitting room with a television that

was turned to an old movie.
"Please have a seat in here, Hal, while I check with

Mrs. Barrett, Mrs. Yanovich's niece to see if she's ready
to start. Thank you. It will only be a moment."
Darla disappeared down a hallway and Hal decided to

check the sports channel for the results of last night's
soccer game. When he saw that his team had lost and the
wide margin of defeat, he had to remind himself that he
was in a hospital room with a dying woman. Losing his bet
with the guys in the press room seemed unimportant to him
now. He couldn't help relishing the moment and the height
of his current status in his mind.
"Oh, well, so, I lost a few bucks, I've got bigger fish
to fry today, a reporter's dream! I’m the winner today!"
As soon as Hal switched the television back to the old

classic movie channel, Darla walked in with Mrs.
Yanovich's niece. He barely recognized her from photos
she'd taken with her famous family. She too, was aging,
but, recalling recent television interviews concerning the
status of her aunt's health, he was able to place the face
with a name.
"Hello, Mrs. Barrett, I'm Hal Siegfried." Hal offered

his hand. Shaking his hand vigorously, and then, gripping
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it very tightly, in her cold and wrinkly flesh, Mrs.

Barrett showed that she was certainly enthusiastic about
their meeting.
"Yes, I know, I keep up with your article in the paper.

I'm so pleased to meet you. Just call me Miriam. We’ll be
working together. Come, we have to get started while
Auntie Yonny's awake. Oh! That's my pet name for her.
Nobody calls her that but me. I couldn't say Aunt Tanya
when I was a toddler, so Auntie Yonny sort of stuck with
her. She always loved it and still does. Most people think
I took it from her last name, but, she was Auntie Yonny to
me, long before she met Ilya Yanovich and remarried.
Come, she can't wait to meet you."
Hal was somewhat shocked. It was news to him that

anyone would be eager to meet him. He really wasn’t an
important journalist, but, he wasn't going to keep anyone
waiting who was eager, certainly, not someone as important
as Mrs. Yanovich.
The trio passed through a wide corridor with adjacent

rooms. Hal read the door signs, "Surgery, Therapy, Sauna,
Kitchen, and Chapel." He wondered what rooms were down the
other hallways, which added to the more than adequate
healthcare Tanya Graves-Weinberg-Yanovich had had at her
disposal to meet all of her healthcare needs and prolong
her life. It was a vast and appalling contrast to the
inadequate and absent healthcare her father had imposed
upon the people, depriving millions of benefits that could
have prolonged their lives, improved their lifestyles, and
eased their suffering. In the years that followed, he and
his party’s heartless and selfish acts had seen an
increase in deaths, many needless and preventable. History
had recorded it as a type of legislative genocide on the
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poor and sick.
No doubt her father had enjoyed the same medical

treatment she was receiving, even after he was proven to
be a traitor to his country, profiting from deals he and
his family made in office with foreign governments and a
multitude of illegal business transactions conducted prior
to rigging the election. Of course, the latter continues
to be disputed.
He was hoping Tanya Yanovich would fill in the blanks

and write the final chapter in the history books using him
to pen the story.
They entered the private hospital room, which looked

more like a grand ballroom or throne room. It was dimly
lit, but decorated in bright and cheerful colors. Tanya
Yanovich was elevated in her stately hospital bed, as if
she was ready to hold court.
From the pictures Hal had seen, taken in her younger

days, she had been a gorgeous young woman, a vision to
behold, but now, her shrunken form was swallowed up within
the enormous mechanical bed, surrounded by machines
monitoring the final days of her vital signs. Her flowing
golden hair turned to dry thin, white strings, dangling
from her balding head. No matter how much they had tried
to make her look vibrant and alive with make-up, lipstick
and rouge, she looked like a lifeless mannequin or a
misplaced mop, displayed in an over-sized casket.
Hal quickly erased the image from his mind. It wasn't a

nice image or kindly thought, but what they had attempted
to do to this woman was nothing far from utterly
disturbing. He smiled at her and lowered his glance.
239
"Auntie Yonny, Mr. Siegfried is here, the man I told

you about, the newspaper reporter you wanted to talk to.
His name is Hal.
Come, come close Hal. She's almost blind and she can't
hear well."
Hal made his way closer to the bed. He had covered

stories here and there involving dead bodies murdered or
found in various ways, but, this was the closest he had
come to what appeared to be a living corpse.
"Hello Mrs. Yanovich. It is a pleasure to meet you.

I've read so much about you and your family."
Tanya raised her hand and he leaned over to shake it

gently. It felt lifeless and skeletal, sending chills up
his arm and down his spine. He couldn’t help but notice
the enormous diamond glistening from the dangling ring on
her other hand. Hal speculated that it was probably placed
upon her finger in an effort to enhance her regal and
wealthy appearance. He doubted that it was normally worn;
otherwise, it would fall off every time she used her hand
and be a target for thieves. Hal knew he would probably
never see that kind of money in a year’s salary.
Looking at this frail and lifeless old woman, suddenly,

it hit him that he was not only right, but, this interview
was going to be harder than he thought. So far,
everything, had a gruesome feeling about it. Hal wondered
if a body could be artificially preserved for too long,
distorting one's appearance into a macabre like mannequin.
He couldn't help but feel uneasy talking to a woman who
240
reminded him of a ghostly and ghoulish specter.
Mrs. Yanovich had to stretch her forehead up to keep

her eyes open. Her mouth hung open most of the time,
drooling.
Darla broke the silence. "Mrs. Yanovich, I'm going to

go get started on our little project. Please don't tire
yourself out." She patted Tanya's hand and left the room.
Tanya spoke for the first time in a very low, barely

audible voice. She motioned for Hal to come closer to
hear. As Hal moved closer, her breath had the smell of
death upon it. Death was already claiming her body,
starting with the inside.
"Did you bring a tape recorder, Hal?" She spoke in

short breaths, but it was understandable."
"Why, yes ma'am. May I record you?"
Tanya nodded her head and motioned again for Hal to

come closer. Hal decided to pull up a chair right next to
the bed, prop the voice recorder upon her chest, listen
intently and write as much as he could.
Tanya started to talk about her childhood and Hal

almost interrupted because he wanted to get to her later
years working with her father, but he decided to let her
tell her story like she wanted to tell it, because there
were probably things that were very relevant to what
happened later.
241
Tanya kept talking at a steady pace, despite breathing

problems and protest from her niece and personal nurse,
who would come in to administer medication and check the
machines and vital signs. Every once in a while, Tanya
would stop and motion to the water container. Then, having
quenched her thirst, she would return to her oration.
By noon, it had been several hours and time for Tanya

to take her medication again and rest. She had a
remarkable memory for her age. She ended talking about her
and her brother’s teenage years and her father's business
deals and romantic capers.
Hal couldn't believe she was entrusting this in-depth

information to him. As far as he knew, no one in the
family had dared be so open about their family and
business dealings.
She saw herself as the faithful daughter, always trying

to please daddy and get his attention the only way she
knew how, by being successful in business. She repeatedly
came to his rescue and defended him, even when she knew he
was wrong.
She tried so hard to get him to do the right things,

but he thrived on greed and corruption, because it made
him feel powerful and intelligent. He wasn’t happy unless
he was proving himself richer, smarter, better looking,
more virile and powerful than others.
As a result of trying to please him, she fell into the

trap of aiding and abetting his illegal schemes to keep
things going amid his many failed financial ventures.
Hoping to separate herself from the corruption, she
embarked upon her own enterprise within the world of
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fashion. However, her father had raised her brothers to be

as shallow, vain, arrogant, prejudiced, dishonest and
corrupt as he was. The only way they knew how to do
business was by lying, cheating, breaking laws and taking
advantage of other people. Even, her father knew they
couldn’t be trusted to run the business by themselves. He
depended on Tanya to step in and give sane, temperate and
sound advice.
She talked about his dominating personality and how he

even manipulated and corrupted her husband to be part of
his schemes. With this, Tanya seemed to hint at some
resentment and remorse, as if she held herself responsible
for what happened to her husband.
Hal couldn't imagine growing up within the wealth and

corruption in which she had. He almost felt sorry for
Tanya, seeing she had little choice in the beginning.
However, at some point one becomes consciously aware of it
not being a healthy environment and a normal and honest
way to live. One realizes that open and honest business
procedures are not being followed as standard operating
procedures. At some point, one is making a conscious
decision and choosing darkness, evil, lying, corruption
and cover-up to conceal evidence and protect criminal
behavior to their advantage. Hal knew he was no Saint,
but, honesty and integrity was something he truly valued
and stressed in writing his column.
Tanya had chosen now, upon her deathbed to come clean

and perhaps for some reason, she felt this was the right
time to act. Hal by no means felt it was a valiant or
charitable act so late in the game, while she still reaped
the benefits from dishonest actions that so many people
had severely suffered and died from.
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It was nice that she tried to steer her father in the

right direction, but, as she said, he was unstable, a very
sick and corrupt man, who couldn't be controlled, and
later, having taken on the biggest responsibility of his
or anybody’s life, continued to make decisions while he
was clearly in a state of early dementia, slipping in and
out of clarity. Everyone around him knew he was mentally
unstable, but, they used it to their advantage, catering
to his whims and his delusions in order to advance their
own agendas.
They were all guilty of betraying their country and

allowing a sick and incompetent man to dangerously hold
such power that could kill millions of people and bring
instability to the entire world. However, that's what many
of them were hoping for in their own sick and power hungry
minds, along with the enemy whom they had befriended.
They spent their time infighting among each other for

power and the ear of an old man whose mind was going. At
the end, it didn't take much for them to turn on one
another to try and buy their freedom.
No, Hal didn't have much pity for Tanya. Like the rest
of her family, she was greedy and selfish, holding on to
her assets and prospering off of her station entrusted to
her by the people. Her eyes were wide open, she knew the
risks and the consequences, but like a few others, she
managed to get off with minor infractions.
Tanya was never going to betray her father, husband and

brothers, no matter how disgusted she was with their
behavior. Yet, with all she knew, Tanya could have saved
millions of innocent people from the harm their
selfishness cost in the nation and the world. She could
have saved the taxpayers millions of dollars. Tanya was
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smarter than the rest of them, so, in many ways, it made

her even more guilty and responsible for what happened.
Tanya took a deep breath and stopped talking. Hal's

heart jumped and in his mind he gave a shriek, thinking,
"Don't die on me now!” He looked at the monitors and saw
that they were functioning normally. Tanya had peacefully
fallen asleep.
The niece, Miriam Barrett had fallen asleep, also, but

awoke when Hal, noisily scraping the floor, scooted his
chair to stand and retrieve his recorder. Startled and
worried about her aunt, Miriam blurted out, "Auntie
Yonny?!”
"She's asleep. I'm going to go now and get started on

compiling and writing all of this information. May I come
back tomorrow at the same time? And, if so, would you
please let the receptionist downstairs know?"
Still startled and recovering, holding her hand upon

her heart, to examine and confirm that it continued
beating, Miriam stood to see Hal out of the door. Hal
regretted making such a racket and unhinging such an old
woman who almost looked as frail as her dying aunt.
"Of, course, Hal. We'll see you tomorrow at the same

time and if I can help you in any way, please let me know.
I helped Auntie write her memoirs and I can fill in the
blanks."
"Oh, I wasn't aware of any memoirs, existing."
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"That's because she's been working on them for decades

and was afraid to release them."
"May I ask you a question, please, Mrs. Barrett, I mean

Miriam? Did you request me and why?"
Miriam returned to her seat and motioned for Hal to be

seated.
"Hal, my grandfather did a lot of bad things in his

life, but I think the worst was what he did to this
country. My father and uncle helped him commit his crimes
and my uncle also brought disgrace upon his family.
Auntie Yonny turned to his family for support during

the upheaval. In many ways she was closer to them than her
own family during that time.
I was very young; but I heard the arguing and

complaining going on behind closed doors. My mother was so
afraid. She didn’t like what they were doing.
I heard them planning and saying things about the

dishonest media and how all journalist were liars. It was
very disheartening to me. You see…I loved to write and I
wanted to become a journalist! You know, do all the
research and detective work. Write the best stories.
Travel around the world. Meet all types of interesting
people. I loved to write and what they were saying made me
feel like my dreams were wrong and there was something
wrong with me.
I guess I had my own selfish reasons for asking for
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you. I want to show the world that the Graves Family

believes in the importance of the media to inform the
people of what they have a right to know and that we
believe that the vast majority are honest, hard-working
people with integrity, diligently working with the
public’s best interests in mind. That’s why I picked you.
Your writing is pure and honest. I told Auntie Yonny that
if there’s anybody who can tell her story honestly and
fairly, it’s you.
Yes, I asked for you, Hal. I had been thinking about

this endeavor for a long, long time. Should you decide to
stay on and accept our offer, we will be working together
for as long as my health allows.”
Hal looked stunned as the word “offer” bounced around

within his mind, hitting loud clanging bells. Seeing his
surprised and then perplexed expression, Miriam explained.
“Yes, Hal, we have an offer to make to you, Auntie and

I. This interview is just the beginning of my somewhat
selfish reasons. We want you to head a new foundation
focused on the media, but, with a much greater purpose
that will benefit millions and hopefully billions of
people in the world.
This foundation will be comprised of various media:

newspapers, magazines, documentaries, films, books and
television and all that goes into planning, developing,
mechanizing, distributing and connecting people to people.
We, mainly I, want this foundation to become the
information mover of the future; information that not only
moves, but sets people into action to respond and make a
difference for the benefit of other people and the world.
How we remain unbiased is where your character is most
needed and why you will be the sole heir of the entire
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project.”
Hal didn’t know whether to jump up and scream or faint

on the spot. He thought about pinching himself to see if
he was dreaming or awake, as cliché as it might sound,
right then, it was the closest he could come to humor.
Taking a deep breath, gulping down a lump in his throat,
and blinking his eyes to hold back tears and anything that
might threaten his manly stance, he clasped his hands
together tightly and with elbows upon his knees, lowered
his head in disbelief.
Miriam continued as if she hadn’t just dropped a bomb

and sent his mind into complete chaos and explosive
overload.
"I’ve bought a building for us to get started and you

can begin working there immediately to compile your work.
Well, of course, I know you have to make up your mind and
I’m not giving you orders or forcing you. Then, you’d have
to give proper notice at your newspaper or make an
arrangement to continue writing for them, perhaps as an
independent journalist. We can help you with this process
and provide counsel for negotiations and…"
Miriam Barrett was starting to go a little too fast,

even for Hal.
“Whoa, whoa…wait a minute.”
“Oh, please forgive me, Hal, I’m getting ahead of

myself. It’s just that I’m so excited about this project.
You see, it’s a gift to me and the world from Auntie
Yonny. She knows how I feel about writing and about what
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happened. And, in turn, it is my gift to you, should you

decide to accept it. And, if there’s something you don’t
agree with, we can negotiate or make arrangements.
You see, I’m too old to do this alone and take the
chance of not seeing it through to the finish. I have
writing experience, but, I’m not a leader and I don’t have
a lot of experience in business. I’ve read your resume and
I know your work. I’ve had others advise me. We all agree
that you’re qualified for the job and can offer you the
necessary support and staff to see that you succeed. We
believe that you’d be much farther than you are now, if
you only had a break. Well, here it is, should you decide
to take it. We hate to see you waiting for a senior
journalist to move out of the way, while wasting your
talent and potential.
Of course you could keep writing and even choose your

own assignments. You can even choose your own staff and
delegate as you please. Auntie wants you to oversee the
release of her memoirs and doesn’t want it to be in
competition with anything that you will write, so use your
own discretion as to timing its release. She’d like a
documentary to follow. You will need a press agent for
interview follow up and staff to arrange book signing. I
have publishers waiting who can handle a lot of
arrangements. It is best that we get you fully staffed
before everything takes off.”
“Excuse me, Mrs. Barrett.”
“Miriam, please.”
“Yes, I’m sorry, Miriam, you are moving a little too

fast, but not for the reasons you might think. I can’t
249
help but wonder why you’re not passing this down to

someone within your own family. Would I be working with
anyone in your family?”
Miriam seemed quite taken aback and almost horrified at

the idea Hal had just proposed.
“NO HAL!”
Hal retracted with raised eyebrows, as if pushed back

by her words. He hoped he hadn’t offended her. Miriam,
extremely embarrassed by her reaction, and hoping she
didn’t wake her aunt, sheepishly looked at Hal.
“I apologize for my reaction, but it has to do with one

of the main stipulations of our agreement.”
Here it comes, thought Hal. There’s always a catch. He

knew it was too good to be true.
“Well, if I am to pass this down to you and you are the

deciding authority, other than necessary board members,
and save you take on shareholders in any business
enterprises, you must keep one thing in mind and act with
all strength and power to adhere to the governance,
enactment and importance of this stipulation.”
Miriam paused and took a deep breath.
“My family and anyone related in anyway to the Graves

family must never have an active part within any facet of
this foundation or businesses stemming from its creation.
Hal, we are being forthright with you and we would
250
appreciate your confidentiality and being discreet with

what we have just requested of you.
Now, after my death, in the beginning, my family may

try to fight you and my decision, but I’ve already made
provisions for that. My team of attorneys has all my
wishes and my will is to be changed immediately upon your
decision. They have my instructions to go to court if
necessary and fight on your behalf. I have a signed
statement from doctors and psychiatrists as to my
soundness of mind, ability to make my own decisions and
conduct my own business. Every ‘I’ will be dotted and
every ‘T’ will be crossed. There will be no way for them
to try to sabotage or steal anything that I have
bequeathed to you. If they wish to make you their enemy
and try to smear your name, I have enough on all of them
to shut them up for good!”
“But, but, why, Mrs. Barrett, Miriam? That’s your

family! Never hire or deal with any of your family
members? How am I to assure you that that will never
happen within the longevity of the foundation? Won’t it
become blatantly evident at some point and time? Then,
what? --Lawsuit after lawsuit? And, with such an immense
foundation, branching out into corporations, investments,
and who knows what, how do I prevent and insure that none
of your family members will ever be employed, contracted,
volunteer, become shareholders, lobbyists, activists,
supportive politicians or influential contributors and
benefactors?”
Hal sucked in air after rattling off all the

possibilities, provoking a hearty laugh from Miriam.
“Now, Hal, we don’t expect you to keep your promise

from the grave, just within your lifetime and perhaps, you
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can pass the request down to your successors within some

silent agreement. We simply ask that you do the best that
you can to see that none of our kinfolk have the
opportunity to rise up to an influential position within
our businesses and organizations.”
“Mrs. Barrett, I’m always up for a challenge, but,

you’re asking me to be dishonest while being honest. How
is that even possible?”
“Well….”
Miriam couldn’t think of an adequate answer to Hal’s

rational question. It was something she hadn’t really
considered, having been so focused upon her fears and
wrapped up in vindictiveness. Hal kept staring at her,
which made her even more nervous and uncomfortable.
Realizing his effect, he removed his penetrating and
convicting gaze, back down to the floor.
“Why are you so against your family being involved?

What are you and your aunt afraid of? Don’t you love and
trust some of them?”
“Auntie Yonny and I believe in “bad blood” and “family

curses and you never know when and where it’s going to pop
up.” We don’t know how far back it goes, but, we
definitely know that my grandfather’s father was a cruel,
prejudice, bigoted and cursed man.”
“Miriam…please… forgive my skepticism, denial,

ignorance, naivety, plain flat out calculated opinion, or
whatever you want to call it. I don’t mean to be
argumentative or disrespectful, but, at the risk of
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sounding pragmatic, I have to say this. Although, they are

not good traits to have, cruelty, prejudice and bigotry
are definitely not evidence to define being cursed or
prove that your family is cursed.”
Miriam looked at Hal and almost seemed indignant. Hal

was almost sorry he couldn’t keep his big mouth shut and
stop giving everyone his honest opinion.
“Well, fine! Maybe it’s not a curse, but a flaw in our

genetic make up. Maybe, we pass down a recessive and
flawed gene that affects the way our brain works. Perhaps,
we’re incapable of feeling and loving people as we should.
There are many cases of people being incapable of
expressing their feelings and have feelings for others,
such as in autism. Can you believe that? Wouldn’t you say
that’s something like a curse if it’s passed down from
generation to generation?”
Hal shook his head back and forth, shrugging his

shoulders, with a crooked smile. At this point, he really
didn’t know what to think. This is one conversation he
never expected to have today, especially with this family
and he definitely didn’t want it to blow up into an
argument and persuade Miriam Barrett to change her mind
about him or her offer to him. He calculated his words and
response carefully.
“Miriam, anything is possible and if you feel that this

is a distinct problem within your family, I can understand
your concern and wanting to prevent it affecting your
dreams and lifelong work; and in such a case, it would
prevent perhaps billions of people from benefiting from
what you have to offer them.”
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Never in his wildest dreams did Hal imagine himself

working for the defamed Graves Family, let alone running
and eventually owning part of their fortune and empire. It
was really beyond reason to believe that their family name
could be cleared or their image improved. He didn’t even
know if he wanted to be the one to try and do that amid
wide criticism and painful memories from those who had
been severely affected by their corruption and widespread
devastation. Still, he was never one to run or walk away
from a challenge. Considering the size of this challenge,
maybe he better save face and back away, slowly.
Hal knew it was in his best interest not to seem too

eager about heading his own mass media organization and a
foundation that could perhaps change the world for
billions of people. A salary and benefits hadn’t been put
on the table. A contract hadn’t been drawn up and reviewed
by lawyers. However, in light of what she was offering,
all of that seemed meaningless. He wasn’t too proud to
give Miriam Barrett an answer to her offer right this very
minute. He knew it was an offer of a lifetime and anyone
who didn’t jump at the offer was…well…he knew he better
stop there. He had always been level-headed and realistic
and this continued to lead him to become reticent in
making a decision too hastily, now.
Things were looking too simple and too easy. Deep down,
he knew that there were plenty of reasons that he
shouldn’t take the offer, beginning with what he had just
experienced. There was something deeper lurking within
this offer and within this bazaar family who seemed to
have their own distinct type of dynamics going on.
“I will take your offer and your wishes into full

consideration, Miriam. Might I add that I am extremely
flattered and encouraged by your confidence in me and I
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can assure you that, if I choose to accept your offer, I

will do everything within my power to uphold that
confidence with the utmost respect and regard.”
Miriam gave a wide smile and slowly released a purring

sigh, as if she’d just tasted a delightful and delectable
dessert; perhaps, the best chocolate cake anyone could
ever imagine tasting, which tantalized her taste buds and
satisfied a passionate, indulgent craving. This is what
she wanted to hear and Hal had said it with such finesse.
After entering the elevator, the mental note Hal had

made came to the forefront of his mind. With a foot in the
door, he pressed the button to reopen the elevator door
and called out to Miriam.
"Wait! Miriam, I have one more question to ask you."
"Yes, Hal."
"Did someone request for Mrs. Yanovich to be in the

West Wing or is it just a coincidence?"
Miriam laughed thinking that she had definitely chosen

the right man for this project.
"The hospital has reserved the West Wing and this floor
for my aunt for the last forty years. I believe that in
the beginning, someone believed it was an appropriate
honor to give her, being that she, like Eleanor Roosevelt
were two of the first women acting unofficially as the
president of the United States. It naturally became a
tradition to place her in the same location whenever she
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was admitted. Thank you for asking, Hal. You've proven to

me that I've chosen the right man for the job. I look
forward to seeing you again and hearing your decision.
Goodbye."
"Goodbye, Miriam. See you tomorrow."
After walking Hal to the elevator and exchanging

goodbyes, Miriam returned to her aunt’s bedside with an
air of lightheartedness and joy, which was abruptly
deflated upon seeing the tears streaming from the sides of
her aunt’s eyelids. Had she heard everything? What had
upset her so?
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Chapter 9
OUTLAWING GOD
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To Our World Leaders, Our Legislators, Believers and

those seeking Truth and Abundant Life,
God is full of mercy. Yet, He is righteous and can hand

down His wrath generation upon generation to them who hate
Him but, still, God has unconditional love and His
goodness and mercy endureth forever.
Exodus 20:4, 5King James Version (KJV)
4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image,

or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven
above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is
in the water under the earth.
5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor

serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous
God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the
children unto the third and fourth generation of
them that hate me;
Deuteronomy 7:9King James Version (KJV)
9 Know therefore that the Lord thy God, he is God,

the faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy
with them that love him and keep his commandments
to a thousand generations;
The contrasting elements within God's Character can be

quite puzzling if one doesn't understand God's Love. One
thing is for sure, God's character never changes, nor His
Love for us.
258
Nonetheless, man, can be ruthless and merciless,

lacking understanding, without goodness or righteousness,
and without unconditional love. Without God's character
within him, man is always changing, as is his faith,
belief, trust, and love for his neighbor and God.
Unlike God, man is capable of doing good and doing

evil. God gave us many examples as to the extent of man's
cruelty throughout the Bible. God knows the hearts of His
children, for a father can see into the heart of his
child.
Jacob's(Israel) sons each had different hearts--

spirits. Upon his deathbed, knowing their hearts led
Israel to bless each in a different way. (Genesis 49)
Israel was appalled by the behavior of his sons, Simeon
and Levi, who slaughtered the men in the tribe of the man
who raped their sister, Dinah. For this, and the hardness
of their hearts, Israel cursed them.
However, they had not been alone in their cruelty.

Allowing the darkness of jealousy, and bitterness toward
their brother Joseph, along with discontentment and
resentment toward their father to overtake them and harden
their hearts, the sons of Jacob seized their brother,
Joseph and plotted to kill him, They changed their minds
when given the opportunity to profit by selling him into
slavery to a caravan of merchants.
Genesis 37:28King James Version (KJV)
259
28 Then there passed by Midianites merchantmen; and

they drew and lifted up Joseph out of the pit, and
sold Joseph to the Ishmeelites for twenty pieces of
silver: and they brought Joseph into Egypt.
Yes, man can pass down harsh judgment upon his brother.
King David found it better to be punished by God than man.
2 Samuel 24: 13-15
13 So Gad came to David, and told him, and said unto

him, Shall seven years of famine come unto thee in
thy land? or wilt thou flee three months before
thine enemies, while they pursue thee? or that there
be three days' pestilence in thy land? now advise,
and see what answer I shall return to him that sent
me.
14 And David said unto Gad, I am in a great strait:

let us fall now into the hand of the Lord; for his
mercies are great: and let me not fall into the hand
of man.
15 So the Lord sent a pestilence upon Israel from

the morning even to the time appointed: and there
died of the people from Dan even to Beersheba
seventy thousand men.
Man in his self-righteousness to please his own

hardened heart and inability to forgive, outlaws God or,
uses religion and legalism as a weapon against the people.
What do I mean by that? By rejecting God's Word and
passing laws that go against God's Word, God must be
perceived to be wrong and contrary to man's laws, whereby,
man vilifies God and cast Him out of society!
260
Or, blinded by his own fear, insecurity, hatred and

cruelty, man takes God's Word, pollutes and corrupts it
with false doctrine creates laws to use against and
control the people as he wills, not as God wills.
Leaving God out, man creates new laws, giving himself

the power and authority to pass down judgments upon his
brother, dictating how others will and will not live and
denying others freewill. Man's God-given right to freewill
is cast aside so that those who consider themselves to be
more entitled, superior, or find THEMSELVES to be WITHOUT
SIN, can CAST THE FIRST STONE! They have made God a
criminal and an outcast for He FORGIVES with Grace and
Mercy, not chaining us to legalism and not forcing our
will.
God told us to IMITATE HIM! We will not find God among

those casting stones, therefore, we, also, should choose
not to cast them, because, Jesus wrote in the sand and
showed us a better way! "Thy Kingdom come, Let, Thy Will
be done on earth as it is in Heaven!"
Many men still cannot see that there is no holiness or

righteousness without God. There is no law without God!
Therefore, Jesus became the FULFILLMENT OF ALL THE LAW AND
THE PROPHECY !
17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or

the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to
fulfil.
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18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth

pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass
from the law, till all be fulfilled.
19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these

least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall
be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but
whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be
called great in the kingdom of heaven.
20 For I say unto you, That except your

righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the
scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter
into the kingdom of heaven.
Man in his OWN limited, shallow wisdom tells himself

that he can create laws, leaving God OUT, separating
Church and State, and man must follow the laws!
God created man. God is part of man and man can do

NOTHING without God! Instead of just creating laws that
act as more walls, road blocks and traffic signs, to
detour or deter people, which they might ignore, we must
lead people to the Fountain and help them follow Jesus
along the road that connects them with God and abundant
life!
Then, how do we uphold justice and civility, while

defining and enacting not only a fair form of law and
order but law driven by godly principles. Or is this a
fallacy, an unrealistic and erroneous expectation? It may
be in this generation of man. Still, it is thought-
provoking and not beyond sparking hope that in some
imaginable future, man will wake up and look beyond
himself to seek the face of God.
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He is here. He has never left us. He is around us and

in many cases within us, if we look into our consciousness
and into our spirit, there exists either a void or a
beaming Light which might be overwhelmingly or frightening
to some. You might not be used to His Holiness, STILL, He
is calling to you , whether or not you find His presence
welcoming or foreboding, He wants you to know, I AM ALPHA
AND THE OMEGA, THE BEGINNING AND THE ENDING...!
Revelation 1:8 King James Version (KJV)
I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending,

saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which
is to come, the Almighty.
If we connect with God, we can connect with one

another. Why is it that man can only unite in war and
tragedy?
Men seeking power, glory and acceptance use this trait

in man to their benefit. Is this trait a strength or
weakness? Has God given or allowed us this trait ONLY in
order to insure our survival? Or, in man's weakness has he
allowed the enemy to blind and mislead him, hindering man
from seeing God's full purpose for this trait that allows
us to override our prejudices and bypass precautionary
measures to meet our FULL POTENTIAL IN CHRIST TO UNITE AS
ONE UNDER ONE GOD.
What will it take for those who cannot find their way
to PEACE to love their neighbors as themselves and as God
loves them? How can we help others as part of our
responsibility and accountability in OUR abundant life to
tear down the wall that is keeping them living in and for
a life led by legalism and strife; captured by the enemy,
263
in bondage, enslaved to legalism; chained to earthly law,

kept from the privilege and the FREE OFFERING of FREEDOM
in The Truth, The Way and The Life?
How IRONIC that those who call themselves , holy,

saintly, godly, righteous and evangelical press so hard
against their brother to set boundaries, limitations,
restriction, statutes and laws, repealing without thought
of filling the void, denying without mercy...yet, they
consider themselves the example and the role model of
purity and piety....
OH, OH, OOOH HOW IRONIC that as they look down upon
their brothers and sisters, the ENEMY places a YOKE around
their neck and shackles on their hands and feet. God is
the god of True Justice! But, let us not revel in their
blindness and ignorance, for, but for the grace of God, it
could be us, AGAIN! SOME of us are not long from outside
of the chains of bondage, but, God ALLOWS us to see our
brother in bondage so that we can REMEMBER where He
brought US from and if we have TRULY been delivered.
Instead of pointing a finger, we should get down on our
knees and cry, "FATHER, SAVE MY BROTHER LIKE YOU SAVED
ME!" Or, are you still standing behind your wall, your
man-made FORTRESS, throwing rocks at others, threatening,
and finding ways to make them yield to YOUR will through
legalism or SUFFER because of your hardened heart?
Could it be that as a professed Believer that you've

chosen to paint on the front of your WALL, something like,
Whites only allowed, or Blacks only allowed, Americans
only allowed, or Asians only allowed, or Christians only,
Jews only, Muslims only, Buddhist only, Republicans are
always right, or Democrats are always right, etc. Check
and see what messages are painted on the front of your
wall and while you're checking ask yourself and explain to
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the God you claim to serve and Whom you told everyone has
delivered you and set you FREE FROM SIN, FEAR AND DEATH...
EXPLAIN to He, who you claim is the HEAD of your LIFE and
His Son who still has the nail scars in His hands because
of YOU! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD and for the sake of ALL
of us, take time to explain why you and so many others
build those walls?
Do you KNOW who God is? Do you really BELIEVE His

promises? Then, why, WHY aren't you TRUSTING HIM IN ALL
THINGS?
Mr. Trump, Mr. Pence, Ms. Ivanka, Mr. Jared, Brethren,

you said you believed! That's what you've been telling the
people! Then you should know that JEHOVAH GOD IS IN
CONTROL! You cannot fight against God! You don't have
enough power or weapons! You can't intimidate Him or make
Him negotiate on YOUR TERMS! Stop! Turn back! Do not fear
what MAN can do! Man has no punishment in comparison to
what God has in store for the wicked; those who deceive,
lie, steal, destroy, plot against the righteous and seek
to go against HIS PLANS!
What you do is not for the benefit of all men. You

cannot make yourselves or America great if you don't know
who America is or He who created her! Your haphazard and
devious plans are not designed to create greatness! ONLY
GOD CAN DETERMINE GREATNESS! And he who seeks greatness
for himself will NEVER be great!
If you really LOVE your father, Ivanka, look him in the

eyes and tell him that and tell him there is no shame in
being wrong if you repent and try to get right with GOD!
If you've already told him, then, KEEP telling him until
he hears you.
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Mr. Trump, God recognizes the dark disease within you,

and knows he who controls the darkness, but, he tires of
your boastfulness and arrogance, trying to take credit for
that which only HE can do. You have done NOTHING that He
has not ALLOWED you to do in order to EXPOSE the darkness
that uses you to do its will.
Do what you will. God will continue to expose you until

you humble yourself, repent, turn from your wicked ways,
pray and seek God's face. It is never too late to
surrender to God. God is the god of many chances. Each day
is one more chance He gives us allowing us to turn from
our wicked ways and seek His Will and Way; to learn to
love as He loves us; and to follow Jesus to the Kingdom to
live in abundance and eternity.
God calls and makes His plea to each and everyone of

us. You, sir have learned from your father to DRIVE
yourself and to try and DRIVE everyone around you by the
love of self and the want of power, esteem and things in
the world. Now, it's time to "let Jesus take the wheel."
He, who is your Heavenly Father desires to teach you a
better and perfect way to live, abiding in HIM.
WHAT will you, a rich man, already having so much

blocking your way, give up to acquire the Kingdom of God,
which is worth more than silver or gold, houses or land,
any fame or fortune, presidency or kingdom on earth? God
only wants one thing from you and only you can give it to
Him. Jesus is asking, do you Donald? Do you love me more
than these?" He knows that you're capable of love, because
your heart that you think belongs to you, that spirit
inside of you came from the Almighty God of Heaven and
Earth. There is NOTHING you can do without HIM! The gig is
up! The curtain has been drawn and behind it stands an
266
ordinary, frightened man, wanting to be more than he is. A

man so lost, he doesn't understand that within GOD, even
the LEAST of us is EQUALLY SOMEBODY SPECIAL! If you
understood that, you wouldn't be trying so hard to
convince yourself and those around you. If you understood
that you would stop trying to destroy other men and
tarnish their name and legacy out of jealousy. If you
understood that you would have been seeking God's face all
of these years instead of chasing, misusing and abusing
women and chasing after fame, fortune and power.
God hasn't given up on you. You're still here and He

has put it upon my heart to tell you this. You see, Jesus
died for you, too. For His sake and for your loved ones,
surrender. Let God use you for LIGHT and not give you up
to darkness. The fear, anxiety and emptiness you feel is
because of the burden of the sins that you carry. He can
take that away too. Won't you choose the RIGHT side today?
Have you been truly DELIVERED my Brothers and Sisters,

or are you still waiting to choose sides, too?
There is only ONE SIDE TO BE ON IF YOU ARE FREE AND

FREE INDEED, LIVING LIFE ABUNDANTLY and that is on the
side of GOD!
God's message to the president is to ALL men and women,

boys and girls, who believe they have abundant life. Are
you living a lie by your own laws under legalism? Then,
why did Jesus die?
Is God, who is TRUTH, outlawed and banned from your

life, because He doesn't fit among all the discriminating
factors on your wall, keeping out people you see as
undesirables and allowing you to live like you want to
267
live and treat people like you want to treat them?
If you have outlawed God then, you can't be living in

His Kingdom and enjoying His promises of abundant and
eternal life. But, there's still hope because, remember,
God is THE God of CHANCES. He wants you to know He's not
through with you, yet! But, you have to...
Check your CONNECTION! Has it been rerouted,

redirected, maybe even HACKED and HIJACKED by the enemy
because you've given him one too many liberties with your
heart. Now, he's captured it, taken up residence, rewired
your thinking and (POOF!) he's tricked you into believing
he's not there. Meanwhile, it's been so nice getting your
own way and doing what you want to do, so that, you are
ignorantly and blissfully unaware and wouldn't care
anyway.
Even so, God promised you something and you DESERVE it.
Why and how do I know? Because JESUS said so!
John 14:1-6 King James Version (KJV)
1 Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God,

believe also in me.
2 In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were

not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a
place for you.
3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will

come again, and receive you unto myself; that where
I am, there ye may be also.
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4 And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know.
5 Thomas saith unto him, Lord, we know not whither

thou goest; and how can we know the way?
6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and

the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
Thanks to Jesus, we don't have to wait for abundant

life! He CONQUERED SIN, DEATH AND THE WORLD!
HUMBLE YOURSELF! SURRENDER YOUR WILL AND DIE TO YOUR

FLESH THAT YOU MAY BE REBORN TO LIVE IN CHRIST JESUS WITH
THE HOLY SPIRIT!
LISTEN TO SOMEBODY BESIDES YOURSELF! GET INTO THE WORD

OF GOD AND CHECK, CHECK, CHECK to make sure you're
connected to the TRUE source of POWER and LOVE, DRIVEN TO
LOVE AND OBEY GOD, WITHIN HIS PURPOSE AND PLAN FOR YOU!
LIVE ABUNDANTLY, PRAISING HIM FOR HIS GRACE and MERCY,

FOREVERMORE!
Mr. President, you'll find that it's not about praising

yourself and getting others to praise you, or lying to
cover-up the fact that you're wrong and too proud to admit
it or apologize. There is no way to count how many times
you have given false witness against your neighbors! Only
God knows! REPENT!
I am not judging you, we ALL have fallen short of the

Mark of Christ Jesus and being human we take our eyes off
of Jesus! Yet, as a Child of God and Jesus' Ambassador, I
am commissioned to tell you about the goodness of the
269
Lord, because He's given us help and that there is a

better way! Yes! There is a BETTER WAY, a Holy and
Righteous way that gives you and those AROUND YOU, PEACE
and JOY.
It's not about taking away from people, it's about

giving and trusting God and the Kingdom for the INCREASE!
It's not about pleasing yourself, but, about PLEASING GOD!
It's not about trying to fool the people, it's about

showing them GOD in YOU! That's how you can make America
greater. That's how you prove He who is GREATEST dwells
within you, making you all that you can be!
You see, you're too late! While you were praising

yourself and trying to destroy Barack Obama, God had
already made a nation, called America, because ONLY GOD
CAN BUILD NATIONS and only God can tear them down! And you
should NEVER FORGET THAT EVERYTHING GOD CREATES IS
GREAT !!! God don't make no junk! He doesn't use
substandard and inferior steel and building materials to
save money for HIMSELF!
No, America NEVER stopped being GREAT because God never

left her and hasn't decided to tear her down. The only
thing wrong with America is the people who don't know God
and thus don't know how to treat her and other people in
the world. They're more concerned about THEMSELVES and
getting money, than in obeying and loving God, or properly
taking care of His precious planet, loving it for the next
generation. They have no loyalty to God or country! They
believe in taking short cuts and cheating other people
because they believe they are ENTITLED!
Mr, President, your way hasn't worked for you and it's
270
not going to work for America because you've outlawed God!

You can't leave God out or make Him out of a villain by
going against His Word!
Loving your neighbor as yourself includes Syrians,

Muslims, Jews, Mexicans and Hispanics, Blacks,
Homosexuals, Women, Abortionists, the Disabled, POWs and
so on. None of us can cast the first stone and but for the
GRACE of God, mm-mm-mmm, we would have more issues than
each of us already has.
Where is your TRUTH? Do you even know what Truth is

anymore and where to find it?
Your way has proven your weakness, because by HUMBLY

abiding in God, we find true power and strength to live in
TRUTH, OBEDIENT to God, thereby, proving we LOVE Him, His
Will and His Way. YOU have proven to the WORLD that you
DON'T love God and that in your world, God is an OUTLAW.
You can't blame it on me, the media, the Democrats,
Republicans, your parents, family or anybody else. Donald
Trump started down the wrong road a long time ago and he's
been too proud to stop and turn around!
God wants you to know that He knows your beginning and

He knows your end and because of this, He understands
where and when you went wrong. But, you can thank Him, if
it's in your heart to do so, that it's not over. No, its
not over and you have a chance because there is a better
way and an easier way, if you surrender to follow and
abide in Jesus.
Brethren, as we reflect upon God's UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

for us, which allowed Him to send His ONLY Begotten Son to
the cross to bare our sins and conquer the world and death
271
to bring us into the presence of Jehovah God. I'm praying

that you and others will choose the better way, connected
to the VINE, producing GOOD fruit.
Yes, choose to follow JESUS, The Truth, The Way, and

The Life--ABUNDANT LIFE in the Kingdom of God! His life
and GOD'S love are the reason we can celebrate VICTORY in
CHRIST JESUS this RESURRECTION DAY!
God Bless you my Brothers and Sisters. Pray for our

LEADERS and Stay CONNECTED!
Let us all give THANKS and PRAISE for His SACRIFICE and
His VICTORY! MY SOUL CRIES OUT HALLELUJAH, THANK GOD FOR
SAVING ME!
your servant, united with the ONE, because of the ONLY

ONE Who is WORTHY! Let us all lift up His Holy Name! Amen!
mishael
"Jesus, Jesus, Oh, how SWEET the name; Jesus, Jesus,

Everyday the same; Jesus, Jesus, Heaven and Earth
proclaim, the precious name of Jesus!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Exodus 20(KJV)
272
Genesis 34 (KJV)
Genesis 49(KJV)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
273
from Transformed Heart of a Woman
Episode 3: AUNTIE YONNY
274

Episode 3: AUNTIE YONNY
Surprisingly, sleep came easy to Hal that night. It had

been a tiring day filled with the unexpected and
unforgettable. However, the heaviness within that sleep,
carried heavy dreams, which came at him hard, wave after
wave. Amidst the pounding of espionage, treason and waves
of uncertainty washing over his mind, lurked an ambitious
and treacherous foe, branching out in all directions
weaving a tangled web. As he chased the elusive spider,
trying hard not to be the fly caught within its sticky,
cleverly woven trap, Hal's heart pounded within his chest;
a constant reminder that his life was in jeopardy. Those
around him knew that he already knew too much. He had to
find the spider before it found him. --But, then, what?
Would he have enough information to expose him? The lurid
details of cover-up, involving murders upon multiple
continents caused him to fight off the effects of these
unwanted visualizations, like fighting off the effects of
being drugged. He fought to become conscious to no avail.
After tossing and turning and thrashing about, a new

dream emerged, as if he'd simply turned the page of a spy
novel. The Chinese food he had stopped for on the way
home, reappeared to him in his dream, placing him in a
traditional Chinese restaurant, filled with shady
characters.
Seated at a side table, near the door, he glanced over
275
the menu which listed various fashion designers and

clothing brands, whom among them was Tanya Graves. He knew
this was odd, but didn't quite know how it fit in with the
current situation. He would make a mental note of it for
future reference as he always did.
He opened a fortune cookie from the bowl in front of

him. The fortune read, "You will be smart enough to stay
ahead of the game and out-fox the foxes." It was signed,
Tanya.
Hal dropped the slip of paper and looked around him. He

remembered Tanya saying that her father always thought
that he was smart enough to out-fox the foxes. Tanya had
left this message for him. Was it a warning? Tanya had
told him that the mistakes her father had made were due to
his arrogant thinking and believing he was so smart that
he could out-smart anyone and everyone.
Now, Hal found himself weaving and dodging, trying to

stay ahead of those in pursuit. He was tormented even more
by the hideous, ghostly image of Tanya Graves that haunted
him, eerily appearing in windows and reflections, even
more ghastly than she looked upon her deathbed. The
apparition angrily screamed at him, from its gaping,
drooling mouth, "Expose them! Expose them!"
Hal was shaking the images from his mind when, an

elderly Chinese woman slowly approached his table, her
head slightly tilted to the right. She smiled with several
gold teeth gleaming at him. Hairs stood up on Hal's arms
as he felt like he was on the menu to be chewed by those
golden teeth. An uneasy feeling came upon him, as if he
was being watched from behind the stainless steel kitchen
door behind her. He had saved himself more than once by
acting on his gut feelings and this didn't feel right. He
276
politely apologized for having to leave and excused

himself, as he headed for the door.
Not looking back, he began to run. Not knowing if he

was being chased, still, he kept running. Several city
blocks away, he stopped to catch his breath. Folded over,
gripping his ankles, he peered down the street, from in
between his legs and saw a car behind him stop and a man
stick his head out of the window and point at him.
Somehow, he managed to make his shaking and fatigued

legs run even faster and almost ran into a fashionable
couple dressed for a night out. The man jumped from the
curb into an oily, murky puddle, pulling his curvaceous
partner close to him.
Concerned with their well-being, Hal managed a brief

glance back their way, just long enough to see anger upon
the man's face and a shocked woman still trying to process
what was going on.
Filled with remorse, Hal knew that time and

circumstances didn't allow for long apologies. He directed
a heartfelt, "I'm sorry," their way, then, rapidly
assessed his whereabouts and headed into a dark alley to
catch his breath.
Sweat poured down his face and into his eyes from his
drenched eyebrows. His eyes stung from the salty sweat.
Pulling out his t-shirt to wipe his face, he squatted to
relax the muscles in his legs. They weren't use to all of
this exercise and neither was he.
The image of the couple reappeared in his mind. As he
277
arose and began walking, sinking deeper into the darkness

of the alley, belated feelings of despair and helplessness
overwhelmed him, filling his eyes with tears. The
expressions on the couple's faces mirrored his own
feelings. Panting heavily, he clinched his hands into
fists. Yes, he felt angry, shocked and disgusted; angry
for allowing himself to be led into a trap and furious at
the way people had barged into his life, with no regard
for his safety and those closest to him.
He followed the alley to the lighted street at the

other end. Hearing a car just turning into the alley from
behind him, his tired and wobbly legs, instinctively
started running, while he still looked behind.
A second later, Hal felt that his heart might jump

twenty feet, if it hadn't been caged in. A driver was
laying their hand on the car horn, as he ran directly
toward their moving vehicle. He whipped his head in front
of him staring into blinding and flashing bright
headlights.
With a jerk that left him breathless, Hal brought

himself to a full stop in front of the burning tires that
screeched and swerved in front of him, finally stopping
and missing his rigid body by less than an inch. Hal's
mind finally caught up with reality and realized he'd come
within an inch of his life. His legs felt weak and he felt
himself collapsing in slow motion, but, at that moment, he
awoke, sweating and thirsty, thinking, "Whew, what a
dream!"
The dawn would soon be breaking and Hal didn't want to

risk being late for his morning appointment. Since
sleeping seemed to be more tiring than staying awake, he
decided to just stay up and watch a late, late movie,
278
then, head out and get some breakfast. He could hear his
stomach growling during the interview yesterday morning
and he didn't want it to be in control of his thoughts
today, especially, since he hadn't had much sleep.
After a quick trip to the bathroom and then to the

kitchen for a beverage and cold leftovers, Hal stared at
an old movie on television. Still thinking about his
disconnected dreams, which he knew were somehow connected
to Tanya Graves and the Graves Family, he made a decision.
It was time to start asking questions, no matter what

the consequences. If he was going to make a commitment to
this family, he needed to get honest answers. He began to
wonder if it was possible, or, was he being used to spin a
bigger web for a bigger plot Tanya Graves had schemed up
in her mind?
There was no denying that he wanted this story and that

perhaps, someone had heard him wishing yesterday and made
all his wishes begin to come true in one day. Yet, while
the dreams were still fresh in his mind, there was also no
denying how he felt. Like walking into that dark alley, he
felt as if this story and his once in a lifetime offer
were carrying him into darkness and danger. He didn't
consider himself to be a religious man or a superstitious
man, but, nevertheless, he didn't want his epitaph to
read, "BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!"
279
from the Transformed Heart of a Woman
Episode 4
AUNTIE YONNY
280

Episode 4
AUNTIE YONNY
Hal arrived at the hospital the next morning with his

head floating atop a caffeine and protein powered body,
which previously hadn't been willing to accept going to
work. A brisk shower had only relaxed him, making him long
for the comfort of his bed. Still feeling drowsy, he had
stopped by the little diner down the street from his job,
then, phoned in to his boss at The Daily to let her know
about his progress and plans for the day.
Breakfast at the diner entailed the Sunrise Special: a

copy of The Daily newspaper to read while you're shoveling
down scrambled eggs, sausage, toast and pouring down
enough coffee to fuel your body and get it going. It was a
cheap meal and remembering back to his childhood, during
the Period of Restoration, when a meal like this would
have set his parents back a day's pay, he was thankful for
better times.
By the time he arrived at the hospital, it was still

pretty early, but he was feeling alert, sharp and ready to
dig into some good journalism. He just hoped Tanya
Yanovich was still with him.
He and the receptionist seemed to be arriving at the

same time. Missing the first revolving door, Hal headed
into the next one, unintentionally, at the same time as
the receptionist, causing them to become wedged between
the doors, preventing rotation. Hal began to push. The
281
receptionist was obviously annoyed at the predicament she

was in and appeared to loathe being in such close
proximity to his statement jacket, him or both. Hal
politely apologized, as she winced and wiggled away from
him.
"Oh, I'm so sorry ma'am. I'm not used to these doors. I

guess I jumped in a little too quickly. I apologize for
the discomfort."
With a huff and puff, the receptionist seemed to bust

out of the doors, thrusting herself forward as she headed
for the reception desk.
Hal headed toward the west hallway. Her eyes followed

him and began to show panic, as she struggled to get her
coat off, still holding on to her purse. Determined to do
her job and halt the unapproved intruder who had ignored
her mandatory station of navigation and screening, long
claimed as her tactical advantage stoop to perch and swoop
down on any vermin who dared try to escape her eagle eyes,
she screeched down the hall at Hal.
"Wait! Wait...uh... Mister...uh...Mister Seiferd!"
Hal could not help feeling guilty. He knew that by

ignoring her, he was going to get her all in a tizzy. He
just wanted to push her buttons for no other reason than
to see her feathers flying about. He knew he was wrong,
but still, it was great drama and excitement to watch. It
was a fascinating study in human nature and the effect of
power and authority upon the intrinsic instincts of those
who thrive on wielding it to dominate, command, and
control others.
282
Hal yelled back to her, "Check your computer! And it's

Siegfried, S-I-E-G-F-R-I-E-D." By spelling his name out,
Hal intended to throw fuel upon the already raging fire he
knew he had ignited within her. He began to feel guilty
again and realized that these kind of pranks weren't as
much fun as they used to be. He would have to stop. He
hoped Miriam Barrett hadn't forgotten to notify the
reception desk and his mischievous plan wouldn't back-fire
on him.
As he rode the elevator to the top floor, he went over

the questions he had planned to ask Tanya Yanovich. He
tried to prepare himself mentally in case he was asked to
leave. At least he had some information to make a few
short stories.
As the elevator doors opened to the top floor, there

was a surprise waiting for Hal. The two security guards
had been waiting vigilantly at the door to the elevator
and were now looking down at him, staring at his flushed
face. Evidently, they had been alerted to an intruder
approaching and were prepared to take him down.
"Touché!" Hal laughingly said to himself. The

receptionist had struck back and landed a hit. She had one
up on him and she was probably savoring her victory at
this moment.
"Good morning fellas! I'm sure you remember me from

yesterday. I'm expected this morning. Mrs. Barrett was to
schedule me in for today."
The guard who had escorted him yesterday spoke very
283
sternly.
"Mrs. Barrett doesn't schedule."
"Well, I'm sure she told her secretary, uh, Darla."
The other guard spoke.
"That's not her secretary."
Hal could see this was going nowhere.
"Would you please call Darla and ask her about my

appointment today?"
As if synchronized, the two guards said, "She's off

today."
Scratching his head, Hal, couldn't believe what was

happening.
"Would you please ask Mrs. Barrett about me coming

today? Please?"
The escort from yesterday went to the desk phone and

pressed a button, prompting the other guard to re-position
himself in the middle of the elevator doorway. Little did
he know he had nothing to worry about thought Hal,
grimacing. He wasn't about to try to make a break for it,
only to be tackled by a heavy linebacker the size of a
bulldozer.
284
Since she didn't pick up the phone, Miriam Barrett must

have still been asleep. Hal heaved a big sigh and shook
his head. It was clear that Miriam Barrett couldn't be
counted on to relay messages, make necessary arrangements,
or, be available for emergencies.
"Oh, man! This can't be..."
A half asleep Miriam Barrett came shuffling down the

hallway in her nightgown and robe, mumbling with her head
down.
"Yes, yes, what is it Steven? What's going on? Is my

aunt alright?"
Miriam reached the elevator and looked up, shocked to

see Hal.
"OH, OH, Mister..."
"Siegfried" One of the guards informed her.
"Yes, Mr. Siegfried! I forgot you were coming! Come in.

What are you waiting for? Oh, my, it's Darla's day off.
Well, have a seat in the sitting room while I get dressed.
Hal side-stepped the guard at the door, who refused to

budge and headed down the hallway, remembering where the
sitting room was located.
285
He turned the television on and flipped through the

channels to find his favorite morning news program, which
he very rarely had a chance to watch. He was just in time
for breaking news. Derek Graves, the great-grandson of the
formerly impeached President Graves was announcing his
candidacy for president of the United States. Hal couldn't
help blurting out loud.
"Wow! This is the missing link. This has something to

do with me being here. They want to destroy him! But, why
and why use me? Of course they're going to fight me!"
Hal's mind was spinning, calculating, speculating and

trying to bridge gaps. This story was bigger than he
thought it was.
Miriam took a good while to reappear. Her heavy perfume

wafting down the hallway announced her arrival, sending
Hal into a sneezing fit.
"Good morning, again uh, Hal. Are you catching a cold?

Oh, dear, we can't have that!"
No ma'am, just a little allergy reaction. I'll be

alright."
"I've gone to check on Auntie Yonny and the nurse is in

with her now, getting her cleaned up and dressed. So,
we'll have to wait. Tell me, have you had breakfast yet?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Well, I haven't. I'm having something prepared now.
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You're welcome to join me."
Hal wanted to continue watching the news, but didn't

quite know how to decline the offer.
"You know, I didn't get much sleep last night so I'd

like to sit and rest a bit."
"Very well then. I'll come back and get you, but, we
can prepare a room for you here to sleep if you'd like.
Auntie would be more accessible to you during the time she
is awake. There's an office for you to work out of and
we'll get you a card key for the private entrance and
elevator. We'll have someone buy you some clothes and
toiletries and notify the chef to add one more person for
meals.
Hal wasn't sure how he felt about all this, especially,

someone else buying his clothes. He was very particular.
However, not having to face the receptionist again
appealed to him. But, did Miriam intend to hold him
hostage and try to bribe him into accepting her offer?
"Well..."
"I won't take no for an answer. We need you rested and

in tip-top shape. We can have the doctor prescribe
sleeping pills for you."
Hal waved his hands in protest.
"No, no, no, no! That won't be necessary. No pills."
287
"But, you'll stay?"
Not seeing a way out, Hal reluctantly nodded his head.
"I'll need to leave later to go to The Daily and meet

with my boss."
"Fine, we'll have a car and driver waiting for you.

STEVEN!"
If Hal was having any trouble staying awake, it was

quickly erased by Miriam's loud, shrill voice summoning
the security guard, who seemed to be putty in her hands.
He had wanted to ask Miriam about Derek Graves, but,

she had distracted him and taken over the conversation. He
was going to have to watch that. She was quite a
dominating personality who liked to control people.
Surely, she knew about Derek Graves' announcement today
and was trying to avoid the subject.
All of a sudden a dark feeling came over him and he

wondered if he should accept any type of gift or service
from Miriam and Tanya Graves. Perhaps, he was already in
deep water over his head and it was time to start swimming
back, but was there still a safe shore to swim back to?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tanya was in rare form for a dying old lady. Hal

wondered if they were giving her amphetamines, then,
288
decided the stimulant drug would be too hard on her weak

heart. This woman just seemed to have a strong
constitution when it came to work. She had a mission to
accomplish before she died.
She greeted Hal with a slightly lifted hand. It

appeared that she was showing visible signs of increasing
weakness, but, she was putting up a fight to hang on a
little longer.
Hal checked his voice recorder and then, set it on top

of her blanket. She was about to start when Hal
interrupted.
"I would like to get started by asking you some

questions first, if you don't mind."
Tanya moved her head from side to side and lifted her
hand signaling for Hal to begin his line of questioning.
"Tell me about Devin Monroe. Where did he come from?

What was his role in the campaign? And, how much did he
know about the Russians?"
"Well, my father considered himself to be the crowned

King. I saw Devin as The Crowned Queen. He started out as
an adviser and overseer from one of our benefactors, The
Mad Hatter, who was connected with the Alt-right movement
and Breitbart, where the Queen reigned from."
"By, The Mad Hatter, you mean Tex Tiledeler?"
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"Yes, the bright and famed one. He was one of our major
donors who moved information and money around. He was a
back door.
Was he connected with the Russians? My father was

already in bed with the Russians years before he came into
the picture. Eventually, everyone in the campaign knew
about, suspected, turned their head, or was connected with
the Russians, even some key Republicans on the Hill.
Alt-right and Putin had their own agendas and reasons

for wanting to weaken the United States, disrupt the
political system and destroy democracy, destabilizing the
world. It created chaos and flip-flopping. My father
didn't know who to listen to. The Russians had funneled in
money too, and were expecting results on the international
scene. As always, my father thought he was smart enough to
outsmart and juggle both of them, but his mind was failing
and he was never as smart as he thought he was, just good
at lying and cheating. He was a con man. For years I knew
what he was and I knew what he had made me and John.
Everyone was just a pawn for him to use as he pleased.

It was ironic that he and The White House were just a pawn
for the Russians to shuffle around on the board to push
their agenda. The North Koreans and Syrian governments
were a distraction to keep the U.S. occupied and out of
the way. Putin never intended to do any good there. The
Russians even pushed money to North Korea to create chaos
and instability. China helped put on the show.
The Mad Hatter and his daughter, Alice in Wonderland

actually helped the situation. She suggested the General
for National Security Adviser. He was compromised, she was
compromised, the Secretary of State and the Attorney
General were compromised, campaign managers were
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compromised and even the press secretary ended up being

compromised to cover up our mess.
The Secretary of State's main agenda was to set things

up for Putin's plan and set up oil deals for Exxon, while
tearing down the State Department.
As you know, The Mad Hatter told us not to staff the

government and this went along perfectly with Putin's plot
to weaken the U.S. and keep Russian involvement unknown.
With nobody around to check and know what was going on, we
could pretty much do whatever we wanted and needed to do
behind the scenes business wise.
They would send my father out to the media to make some

wild and bazaar statements for everyone to buzz about,
while we were virtually destroying the country and robbing
the bank. He was Putin's idiot and court jester."
"You say that so nonchalantly, doesn't that bother you

the least bit that you were destroying your children's
future, or was it that, being rich you knew they wouldn't
suffer, but, what about other children...like me, who grew
up poor and struggling because of you and your family. I
lost relatives in the war!
I'm sorry, Mrs. Yanovich! I don't know what came over

me..."
"No, you had every right to say that, Hal. You're

right. We were selfish and insensitive to say the least. I
make no excuses for what we did. We stepped into a nest of
wasps, which then awakened a sleeping and angry bear, who
wouldn't go back to sleep and had to be put down. So much
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evil. So much death. So much destruction. For what!?
We were all directly or indirectly working for the

Russians, even the Mad Hatter, whose sick nuclear war
theories, anti-global warming belief, support for
deregulation of environmental laws and little government
interference, lined up with Russia's plans to set the
world stage to fill its pockets and rise as a formidable
power.
With a weak United States, Russia would come to the

world's rescue, in the event of nuclear war, and emerge as
a hegemonic power player on the international stage. Putin
would begin to openly call the shots with no one to oppose
him, not even China, which they planned to split up, just
as they planned to do with the United States to keep it
weak; revenge for what happened to the old Soviet Union.
Men like he and my father cannot see that they have tunnel
vision. They're pride and vanity blinds them. They cannot
see that there are even smarter and more powerful players
involved and a higher force not to be reckoned with.
Putin thought that by replacing democracy and

democratic leaders with autocracy and dictators under his
control, they would once again be a strong empire with
Putin as the Czar and supreme leader. They wanted to see
our scientists defunded to keep them from catching up to
their new discoveries and weapons. They were stealing
technology and data from everywhere. They thought they had
unstoppable technology to place them above everyone else
and give them bargaining leverage. Little did he know what
Yahweh can do with a willing vessel in a short period of
time.
My father saw himself as one of those dictators with

subjects forced to worship him, especially his enemies. He
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loved revenge and Putin promised it to him as he had

promised it to the General.
Then, there was the Crowned Queen who wanted too much
power and control. He began to make trouble and risked
ruining everything with his crazy white supremacist, anti-
Semitic extremists group. He threatened John and John said
he could take The Mad Hatter's money and his crazy website
and shove it.
John and I told dad that The Queen needed to go because

he was interfering with Russia's plans by trying to push
his Alt-right agenda first and failing. There were good
things that I saw we had time to do for the country and
the world. But, The Mad Hatter, his family and associate's
money had bought into the presidency and The Queen had
been part of the package deal. They were running things
more with our Russia connections being exposed.
My father's ego was bruised, making him act out in

bazaar ways that we had to cover up and make excuses for.
He was a man led by jealousy and pride and The Queen's
rise to fame and power had aroused both inside of him. I
moved into the West Wing when things began to get really
bad. We were under investigation and he wasn't holding it
together too well. John and I took over a lot of
responsibilities and advised him on what to say and do
daily, but, there was no controlling him, even with
medication.
My father didn't fear The Queen because he knew the

Russians could control him, Alt-right and Breitbart, if
necessary, but, they might expose him and he didn't want
to make enemies with The Mad Hatter's group.
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The Red General was gone and there was no real buffer
between us and the Russians. We had to play things by ear
for awhile. John and I had to keep a low profile because
of Feds looking into our businesses. We decided to keep
the visitor list secret so couriers could get through."
"Who were..."
"John, The governor, my father's friend, Mr. Shale, our

attorney, business partners, someone who worked for the
General, Russian operatives I didn't know, but, John did.
John was in way too deep. He and my father had been

money laundering through real estate and I knew my father
would abandon John and let him drown.
When it came down to it, my father was a coward. He

could talk about war, fighting and killing, as long as
somebody else was risking their life and not his. He
dodged the draft because he was a coward. I knew he would
never confess to his own involvement in the collusion and
his part in manipulating and using me and John."
"So, you blame everything on your father?"
"No, I guess I did what I did because I loved him and

wanted his approval. I knew I wouldn't be where I was and
have the life I had, if it wasn't for him."
"But, what about your kids? Didn't the two of you worry
about what would happen to them if you both were convicted
of treason and imprisoned? Didn't you think about them
living with that kind of shame and ridicule?"
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"John and I talked about it. We didn't like the thought

of it, but, we knew we could rely upon his family if
anything happened to us."
"But, if you really loved your kids, why take the risks
of making them motherless and fatherless and not being
able to watch them grow up?"
"Of course I love my children!"
Tanya began to become agitated, coughing and gagging,

while the machines around her started beeping and ringing.
Feeling like he had committed a crime, Hal froze,

thinking, "Oh, no, I've done it now. I've killed the
lady!"
The nurse came running in and Hal quickly moved out of

the way. The nurse replaced Tanya's oxygen tubes with
clean ones, adjusted the flow on her I.V., and replaced
her catheter bag. After the nurse cleaned her face and
gave her water, Tanya began to settle down. Then, she
immediately began talking again, as if all that was just
part of her regular routine now. Hal couldn't help but
admire her for her strength and stamina.
"But, I was sorry The Queen knew so much and was

involved. He was a despicable, slimy snake who made my
skin crawl. I hated being in the same room with him and I
didn't like the way he looked at me. I told John about it.
I had warned my father about him from the start. I knew he
had no real loyalty to my father and was looking out for
his own interests. But, Breitbart kept the damaging
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information on the Democrats coming from the Russians, and

Assange, and The Queen helped in redirecting the money.
So, my father saw him as being vital to the campaign."
The nurse hadn't left the room, but Tanya obviously

thought she could be trusted. Perhaps, she was paid
extremely well and had been with her a long time. She
observed Tanya and kept an eye on the monitors. When she
was assured of Tanya's stability, she spoke.
"Excuse me, Mrs. Yanovich, but, it's time for your

medication and I would like you to rest for a while
afterwards."
Hal wasn't sure, but, Tanya seemed to roll her eyes in

protest.
"Alright. Hal, we'll pick up after lunch."
Miriam was waiting for him to have lunch. She took him
into the private dining room, which was set with white
table cloth and napkins and a beautiful spread of gourmet
food with a choice of beverages. It wasn't Hal's usual
lunch set-up. Most of the time, he just ate at his desk.
Hal didn't want to be rude or upset Miriam by talking

business during lunch, so, he decided to wait to ask about
Derek Graves.
When they finished eating, Steven came in and informed

him that the chauffeur had arrived to take him to The
Daily. It sounded so strange that Hal had to think about
what he had said, before he got up to leave. In no way was
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he accustomed to riding in limousines to work. What would

they think at The Daily if they saw him arriving and
getting out of a limousine? He better make his decision,
he thought, before he didn't have any job to go to at all.
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Chapter 10
"YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH, YOU'RE

NOT WORTHY!"
THE MESSAGE WITHIN THE MESSAGE!
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Throughout my life, the enemy has used men and women to

try and destroy me by telling me that I'm not good enough
or I'm not worthy. It was a judgment I tried never to cast
upon anyone else and could not get beyond the pain to
understand why others did so.
Early on in my life, having been raised to accept and

expect accountability, I expected others to do the same
and to have like values and morals. I learned of my
naivety and unrealistic expectations the hard way. Since
life is about relationships, I learned through my
relationships.
Let's take men, for example and if you're a man reading

this, you can replace the pronouns for men with those for
women. Every man I tried to have a relationship with
refused to make a commitment, because in their eyes I
wasn't worthy of them and didn't meet their standards.
They always thought there was someone better than me. They
wanted someone prettier, skinnier, wealthier, or maybe not
so religious, or so smart and the list could go on and on.
Now, this doesn't pertain only to men who aren't
Believers, but, it predates the time in which I came to
truly understand what it means to be a true Believer in
God.
One cannot even blame this type of thinking, as some

would like to, on sexual relationships, or as it has been
so cleverly put, "Why buy the cow when you're getting the
milk for free." No, this type of thinking is not the
direct result of sexual immorality and promiscuity, but it
stems from the same root in that it is part of the enemy's
plan to destroy God's core institutions of marriage and
family, destroy the seeds of fruitfulness, and cut off
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man's aspirations and potential. This type of judgmental

thinking can be found in relationships of men or women
having various status and from different walks of life
producing the same or similar effects.
Many people, who are unmarried, like myself, have

considered themselves to be loving and giving people, with
the means, stability and know how to take care of home and
family. So, they find themselves asking, "What is wrong
with ME? Could it be that what they are saying is true? Am
I just not "good enough?"
Of course, one considers if their marital status was

just meant to be or God wants them to wait. However, for
many, being in a loving relationship, enjoying the
blessings of matrimony is their soul's desire, so, they
never want to give up hope.
If you find this is your soul's desire, you must

understand that God wants to give us the desires of our
heart that are within His WILL. Most people don't want to
dwell on this too much, especially if they haven't arrived
at living within God's Will. Yet, ABUNDANT life, cannot
exist without God's WILL and if we are to dwell within its
realm, then, we must be vigilant, resisting and persisting
against the gravity of darkness within the world, to stay
within the holiness and righteousness of the Will of God.
For me, the relentless attack of the enemy and the

rejection began to wear me down. I began to believe some
of the things I was hearing. I gave up trying to have a
relationship with a man. I was depressed sometimes. I was
lonely sometimes. A few times I gave it to God, but, then,
I took it back.
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Now, the world will tell you you're weak and gullible
and leave it at that.
Matters can become even worse by having people around

you feeling sorry for you, like you're nothing if you
can't keep a man, or believing a woman has to have a man
to be of value and worth, or to prove she's a woman. You
have your finger pointers, like Job did, who say you
brought this upon yourself. Then you have people in the
other camp laughing at you because you've been used and
abused, who believe and secretly hope that nobody wants
you and you'll never get married, to make themselves look
better. Then, you've got married friends into themselves,
who may avoid you or who just don't know how to be your
friend.
By ignoring you or ridiculing you, everyone looks past

all of your accomplishments just to find what they
consider to be your failure.
Now, you can apply this scenario to any situation where

people in and of the world don't think you're good enough;
and there are plenty of situations people in and of the
world will find to help the enemy try to destroy you.
Among the people are millions who call themselves
Believers. It may happen on your job, in church, at
school, or in socializing. It may have to do with your
talents or skills. In today's world, to be counted out or
devalued, you need only be poor, old, sick, uneducated or
poorly educated, a minority, someone from a Muslim
country, an immigrant--legal or illegal, an underpaid
woman, ex-offenders, etc. The world discards and throws
away people with little or no thought at all. People will
tell you, "YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH, YOU'RE NOT WORTHY!"
Now, you can listen to them and believe everything
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they're saying or you can hear the MESSAGE WITHIN THE

MESSAGE!
I and others have observed the relationships of these

very same people and people like them and have come to see
a pattern or realize what their expectations and standards
actually are, leading me and others to realize that the
quality of their relationships and standards don't align
with and agree with God's. This realization leads me to
question what or who could compel a human being to say
those type of hurtful things to another human being? What
kind of heart and mind would want to inflict that type of
lasting pain upon another person to try and destroy the
core of their being as if they were not worth being alive?
But, there is a message within the message. Why has God

ALLOWED these things to happen to you and me, over and
over again, driving us to the point of despair? Why would
God allow people to come into your life to use and abuse
you, putting you down while trying to lift themselves up?
How can a person be so cruel in such a way that all the
time they're with you, they're thinking that you're not
good enough for them, but they'll get what they can out of
you? WHO could be good enough for such a person? WHO?
But, then, there is GOD!

YES! I'll say it again. And, then, there is GOD!
Consider The Almighty Alpha and Omega whose thoughts are
not like our thoughts.
Let us go back to our original thought provoking

question, maybe now, you can hear the message within a
message, if you remember you have a Father in Heaven
working on your behalf! The message within the message is
from GOD! We could even be so bold to say that GOD IS
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TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING FROM OUT OF THE MOUTH OF AN

ASS--THE JAWBONES OF A DONKEY! He's got to get your
ATTENTION to make this lesson plain and lasting!
WHY WOULD GOD ALLOW US TO BE HURT SO VERY DEEPLY?! God

wants you to know that these people who are telling you
that you're not good enough don't know who they are and
even more, they don't know the POWER of God! He wants your
attention! Surrender your ALL TO ME! BE STILL, WATCH ME!
LOVE, OBEY AND TRUST ME! And, I'll show you what 'I' can
do for you!
We who have been effected by those who see us as

DISPOSABLE must realize our OWN worth and potential
because of the power of God within us. We must HUMBLE
ourselves and be freed from the pride that has been
stirred up within us as a result of the enemy's attack.
Let this be your FIRST DEFENSE. KNOWING who you are in
Christ is part of your ARMOR given to us by God to shield
us from the fiery darts of the enemy. PRODUCING GOOD FRUIT
COUNTERACTS and neutralizes the poisonous venom of the
serpent who seeks to destroy you.
Perhaps, someone told these people who wield untamed

tongues and hardened hearts the same thing they are
telling us and now they're trying to put others down to
make themselves look good. Perhaps, they feel they need
someone who appears to be better than you and/or them to
make them LOOK like they have something and LOOK like they
are better than what they REALLY are. No, they don't mind
hurting others or trying to get ahead at other's expense,
because they don't really KNOW who they are and they don't
really know God.
NOW, we're getting to the message. They don't know who

THEY are, but, do you know who YOU are? Or, have you been
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hoodwinked and fooled like them and Pinocchio. Now you're

turning into a donkey, a beast of burden with blinders on,
to be used. This is the question and answer that allowed
me to move on and look for me, instead of continuing to
play the fool and believe the lie.
You see, that's the role those accusers took on for the
adversary. They fell for the lie and now they're trying to
pass it on to you.
Take your blinders off before it's too late. Look at

yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, " Who am I ?" If
you can still answer the question with, "I'm a Child of
God," then you can understand the message within a
message. He who dwells within you has given you NEW LIFE
and ABUNDANT LIFE! That new life wasn't given for you to
be of the world.
By whose standards have men judged you by? What were

they REALLY SAYING to you and about THEMSELVES?
By the Blood of JESUS you have been REDEEMED and

JUSTIFIED! He has made you WORTHY to come before The
Almighty God! You have been REBORN and are WORTHY for
Jesus and God's Holy Spirit to dwell within you. God has
claimed you and calls you His own.
Men and women who are lovers of themselves and cling to

love of the world and things of the world, will judge you
by THE STANDARDS of the WORLD. "WHY should you be
discouraged? WHY should the shadows come, etc., when you
know Jesus is your portion and your constant friend is
He?" Your Father in Heaven only wants GOOD THINGS for His
Children! Hear the message within the message! Why would
He allow you to have something or someone bad for you, or
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something you're NOT READY FOR by HIS STANDARDS?
He that has spoken evil over you has spoken words for
himself! Satan has used his tongue to kill, steal and
destroy, therefore, the messenger is not good enough for a
Child of God! Still, He who works on your behalf can and
will turn what was meant for evil into something good.
Paul knew how different it would be for many to be

married within the Kingdom on earth, for within the
Kingdom of Heaven, Jesus told us that men and women are
not given unto marriage. Living among those OF the world,
men and women, husbands and wives OF the Kingdom are held
to a different standard; one we must be ready for.
Yes, my Brothers and Sisters, within your abundant life

you must never forget that you are worthy because of
Christ who dwells within you. Know who you are in CHRIST
so that no man or woman can be used to try and destroy who
you are or try to use you to block your own blessings from
God. Neither should you bring yourself to ruin by allowing
others to use and abuse you.
Remember, you are of the Kingdom and not of the world.

Or, perhaps, like me, you didn't know and understand that
at the time you were being used and abused and perhaps,
whilst in sin, you were trying to use others, also. Now,
God is using me to make it known to you. If you want
abundant life, understand that it can ONLY be found within
the Kingdom! Having that person, or marriage with that
person, that position, or status that you so much desired,
may mean returning to the ways of the world and forsaking
your God and Savior. Is anyone or anything worth that? Do
you want to gain the world and lose your soul? Can you
trust God to give you GOOD THINGS in HIS TIME? Then, you
have heard the message within the message. You know that
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it is time to move on, past the hurt and pain, allowing

the wound to be healed and the void to be filled by God's
abundant, unconditional, and perfect love. All is not
lost. Nothing has been in vain. There is no reason to
suffer shame or guilt. Remember that pride, anger and
bitterness are not fruitful and will only pull you into
darkness.
God has allowed these things to happen to you and me

because He loves us. He is growing and maturing us and as
painful as it may be, He knows how much we can bear. He is
drawing us closer to Him. He wants us to know that the
power of His love can conquer all. He wants to EMPOWER us
with His Love so that WE can conquer all things to become
an instrument of His Love and Peace, sharing it with all
men.
Knowing you are worthy means remembering God's promises

to you and never forgetting what He has done for you. No
man can take that away from you or prevent God from giving
you what He has in store for you unless you allow them.
God takes NOTHING away without REPLACING it with something
else. I cannot tell you how much I have benefited from
what He has removed and replaced in me. Often, I shake my
head in disbelief, while I quietly or loudly thank and
praise Him for making me into someone I would have never
believed I would have become. AND, and as He uses me and
helps me to see who and what I am in Him, I know there is
no limit to where He can take me and its heights and
depths are only known to Him, Jehovah God Almighty! I
pause to hail His Majesty!
If you have found a friend in Jesus, then, He should be

EVERYTHING to you. With Yeshua within you and your eyes
upon Him, YOU can be everything that God would have you to
be. You are MORE than good enough, because, God loved you
306
so much that, His Son, Christ Jesus died for you! You are
Worthy and You are Loved! One with the Holy Trinity, you
are whole.
As you grow within and into your abundant life, keeping

your eyes upon Jesus, setting your sight first on things
above, you will come to understand that your life is full
and fruitful, single or married. Humbled and obedient to
His Will, with our eyes set on things above, God will
indeed take care of everything else. The things of this
world will take on new worth and meaning to you. Yet,
abundant life as God has defined it, will neither wither
nor fade, regardless of age or body; for His Kingdom is
eternal.
Why has God within His infinite wisdom devised such a

marvelous plan for His Children? --Because, we are more
than good enough, through Christ, we are Worthy!
Peace be with you my Brothers and Sisters!
your servant and soldier, united with the One
mishael
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Episode 5
AUNTIE YONNY: A NORMAL LIFE
308

Episode 5
AUNTIE YONNY: A NORMAL LIFE
When the limousine pulled up in front of The Daily, Hal

asked the chauffeur to come back in an hour and told him
that he didn't have to get out to open his door. He took
his jacket off and slipped out of the back seat wearing
sunglasses and made a quick dash to the front door.
The secretary told him that Rachel, his boss, was in

the conference room, where she was finishing up a meeting.
People were leaving the room as he walked down the
hallway. From between the Venetian blinds in the window,
he could see Rachel seated at the conference table.
She was wearing her favorite pink sweater. She always

looked good in that sweater Hal thought. She took out a
sheet of paper and kept glancing down at it, then looking
up as if trying to memorize the words.
Hal knocked on the door and Rachel looked up and gave

him that killer smile that always made his heart race. She
motioned for him to come in.
"Hi Rache! How's it going?"
"Ugh, there's way too much going on in the city. I've

got to send somebody to cover the ceremony for the
309
anniversary of the first children and Americans to die as

a result of Graves' wicked healthcare plan."
"Yeah, I forgot that was today and to think they

celebrated passing that death bill. It makes one question
man's intelligence and their humanity. They were
completely out of touch with the people they served and
Graves really didn't care."
"That's for sure. We can thank God that our parents

were among the survivors."
Hal had forgotten how much Rachel was led by her faith
and liked to talk about God. He guessed that was why she
never went out with him again before getting her
promotion. He just wasn't in to all that.
Rachel went on talking about the healthcare plan that

everyone now referred to as legislative genocide.
"Then, to make matters even worse, they never took into

consideration the chances of a pandemic or the health
consequences of nuclear war. After all that happened, they
were forced to enact government universal healthcare
coverage for the entire nation or no one would have
survived. God has his way of stepping in to correct
things.
Anyway, I can't send Eduardo because he's covering a

story way out in Seattle. I'm going to have to send the
new guy."
"Phil? He's not so bad. Just give him a chance, Rache."
310
"Yeah, but, I wish you were around. Did you find out
who requested you?"
"Yeah, well...that's what I wanted to talk you about,

Rachel; me being around."
Hal had Rachel's full attention. He rarely called her

Rachel when they were alone and she didn't like the sound
of what he was saying.
Hal sat down and began to tell Rachel about his

conversations with Tanya and Miriam Graves. Rachel was
excited, hanging on to every word.
"Wow, Hal, you've got quite a story already!"
Hal lowered his head and couldn't look at Rachel.
"What? What else? It sounds great! Did something

happen? Did you get kicked out?"
"No Rache, they made me an offer."
"An offer? What...what kind of offer, Hal?"
"They want me to work for them, Miriam Barrett, that

is."
"Why...why that's wonderful Hal! I'm uh, real happy for

you and uh, have you decided, yet?"
311
"No, I wanted to talk to you first and get your

opinion."
"Me? Why me? You know I'd never hold you back, Hal.
I've told you how good you are. If you would have been
hired before me, you would have my job right now. When you
walked in the door and I read your first column, I said,
now there's some real competition. It was a good thing I
had already interviewed for this open position.
I want to see you go as far as you can go and want to

go as a journalist. When will you start?"
Hal was hoping she'd put up an argument and give him

some reason why he should stay. He really wasn't quite
sure if he wanted to leave The Daily, but as of this
morning, after being briefed by Tanya, it seemed that he
had become committed. He guessed he just wanted to hear
Rachel try to convince him not to leave. Hal looked into
Rachel's eyes.
"I guess I'm giving my two weeks notice today. I'll

send you a formal letter. Perhaps, Darla will type it up
for me."
"Darla? Who's Darla?"
"Oh, well, she's just Mrs. Yanovich's personal

secretary. She's an older woman, you know, middle-age-ish,
gray hair, grandmother-ish."
Rachel smiled.
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"Oh, okay, but no hurry. You're still going to give us

a story, right?"
"Sure, and I'd like to continue writing for The Daily

from time to time. I'm not sure how this is going to work
out. I mean, all I want is a normal life and these people
don't live like normal people or act like normal people.
You no what I mean, Rache?"
"Maybe I do, Hal. Recently, an old acquaintance, not

you, who had spent most of his life being "tossed and
driven by the restless sea of time, so to speak," told me
that he, just wanted a 'normal' life.
Throughout his life, he appeared to be somewhat happy

and content with living a lifestyle committed to bondage
and serving darkness, because he felt it allowed him to be
the 'captain of his own ship,' unaccountable and not
having to answer to anyone. In his words, he was in this
life for himself and enjoyed being selfish.
However, at that time, somewhat dismayed and

bewildered, because he was burdened with responsibility
and having to care for others, he was asking me to pray
for him and you know me, I replied, "I am always thinking
about you and praying for you." But, I guess I was the one
being untruthful that time.
Most assuredly, it was our past relationship that

prevented a level of trust, during that conversation.
Knowing him, it was hard for me to see his sincerity in
the matter. I'm afraid I was being somewhat of a
hypocrite.
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But, that night, God had me travail upon his behalf,

facing the deep and powerful darkness holding him captive.
Demons, who, having once been encountered, are not easy
for you to forget. As I wedged my way through the intrepid
darkness, I found God using my gift of song to fight the
evil that was trying to overtake me. I sang, make him
whole, make him whole. In the name of Jesus, make him
whole. I know it sounds like something out of a story book
the way I'm telling and describing it, but, that's how it
was when I was experiencing it.
My voice filled the darkness as I struggled against its

grip. I began to sing this prayer so loudly and fervently,
that it awakened me almost into consciousness and I began
to sing it out loud, knowing that I was still in between a
dream-like state. Although, I wanted to leave, I couldn't,
and continued to sing my prayer of Spiritual Warfare and
protection, knowing I was protected by The Light!
A few days later, our Father touched my heart with

those words of desperation, that had been confessed to me,
"I just want a 'normal' life. " A 'normal' life; what IS a
NORMAL LIFE, I asked myself? To which my spirit answered,
from the depth of my heart, "TRUSTING IN GOD and LOVING
GOD."
But, what, why? Is that really all there is to it? What

about the house with the white picket fence, cars, having
a family with children, the perfect job, lots of friends
and money to buy everything you need and want? Is that
what he was talking about? Is that what I want?
If you've had these things and lost them, then, you

know that SOMETHING ELSE IS MISSING! You overlooked that
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which would make them 'NORMAL' within YOUR LIFE, IF, these
are the things that God would have for YOU. It doesn't
make you any more or less 'normal', if God has chosen
another lot and has a DIFFERENT PLAN for your life.
The adversary defeating you and having a stronghold

over you comes from, like Adam and Eve, BELIEVING that
something is being DENIED or WITHHELD from you that you
RIGHTFULLY deserve. This has been the successful strategy
of the adversary, to CONVINCE us that we DESIRE and
DESERVE, making us think we're missing out on life and
what is NORMAL! Why is he successful? Because, our hearts
have been filled with the treasures and desires of the
world. We have not filled our hearts with holiness and
righteousness with JESUS at the center of our joy and the
Holy Spirit to guide us in setting our hearts and minds
FIRST upon the Kingdom of Heaven, knowing that all else
will follow."
Rachel stood up and walked over to the window looking
out, then, as if in another world she began to recite
Psalm 8:4-6.
"What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the

son of man, that thou visitest him?
For thou hast made him a little lower than the

angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour.
Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of

thy hands; thou hast put all things under his feet:
So, like Adam, don't we DESERVE to have a 'normal'

life?
King David had many riches, yet, he knew that he had
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nothing, for all belonged to God and nothing compares to

who God is and what He can do for you.
Yet, when we think of what God can do, our thoughts are
in the carnal world! However, we can't walk upon the
straight and narrow path guided by the carnal mind and
expect to reach the Kingdom of God! No, we will be
DISTRACTED by that which we feel we deserve within the
world.
Don't you REMEMBER, our Father told me, when Jesus, my

Son was tempted in the desert? Satan tried to DISTRACT
Him, promising Him power and the riches of the world? That
which was ALREADY HIS! Satan promised that which did not
belong to him, but to ME, THE ALMIGHTY GOD, which I
willingly gave to my Son as heir to the Kingdom. To have a
Normal Life, your heart must be pure, clean and washed in
His Blood.
Many expect God to give them the desires of their

heart, but, God will not give that which is covered in
darkness. He sees your heart and knows the reason for your
desires and He is a Father who only wants GOOD THINGS for
His children.
Everything in the world is not good for YOU. You may

not be READY to handle what others have because it would
be a distraction for you or even dangerous. God is always
looking at your POTENTIAL and ALL of your needs, not just
at what YOU want to be and have NOW. He's preparing us for
an ETERNITY of service and abundant life. How does that
compare to what we FEEL we desire and deserve now?
God wants us to take our eyes off of the things of this

world and keep them stayed on Jesus, so that we live up to
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our potential. Like Jesus, we must acknowledge that this

present world is NOT our home, and we are of the Kingdom.
Does this mean we give up our homes, our possessions,

our hopes and our dreams? Jesus said to give up your eye
or your hand IF it offends thee. Are they POLLUTING your
heart? Is Satan using them to tempt and distract you? Is
that which you see, touch, hear, smell, taste; the things
of the flesh; are they keeping you from being CLEANSED?
What will you GIVE UP and SURRENDER to be CLEANSED,

JOINED TO THE VINE and THE FATHER TO BE MADE WHOLE and
have a NORMAL LIFE as God has created for YOU and YOU
ALONE?
A 'normal' life doesn't come easy for those still

clinging to the world; or for those who believe everyone
deserves the same opportunity and chance to achieve their
own goals and dreams in the world. How does that transfer
to us, Father, I asked? We who are in the world, but not
of the world? Can we be lawyers, police officers,
politicians, judges, actors, comedians, football players,
etc.? What about when we don't reach our goals or through
unfavorable circumstances our dreams are shattered by war,
disease, an accident or tragedy. How do we, then, have a
'normal' life?
Then, God said. If we can picture the disciples in the

boat with Jesus upon a raging sea, during a storm that
threatens to take them under the water to their death,
then, we can VISUALIZE a normal life. There within the
boat, are the disciples, unnerved, fearing for their lives
and Jesus is in the boat sleeping, unaffected by that
which they consider to be--impending doom.
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They cry out to Jesus,who calmly arises and commands

the wind and the waves, "PEACE, BE STILL!" At this, the
disciples are in awe and disbelief! But, like them, we
have a choice to BELIEVE in A Man Called, Jesus! Abiding
in Him we gain peace, stability and normality within the
life we have been created to live; for He IS our PEACE,
THE TRUTH, THE WAY AND THE LIFE! Those who trust and abide
in Jesus HAVE A NORMAL LIFE; for He IS the LIFE which
creates in us a clean heart to be who and what God created
us to BE and to live ABUNDANTLY! Yes, He is The Way to
everlasting and abundant life and He is The TRUTH, which
makes the storms of life obey HIS WILL.
A 'normal' life. If we seek the face and character of

God, following in the footsteps of Jesus, we will come to
know and understand, that GOD has a plan designed
specifically for our lives and OUR normal life begins by
accepting Jesus into our lives and SURRENDERING our will,
dying to the flesh to be born of the Spirit."
Suddenly realizing she wasn't alone, Rachel turned and

looked at Hal, embarrassed. He had sat there quietly the
whole time, not saying a word, letting her get caught up
in her spirituality. Now, she had to face him in the real
world. She turned beet red and quickly sat back down at
the table, looking down at her folded hands.
Hal had been listening in awe and disbelief to Rachel,

absorbing her words and the power by which she rendered
them. He had never seen this side of her and for some
reason, he was even more drawn to her, having seen it.
"I'm sorry, Hal, that was very unprofessional. I had no

right to impose my faith upon you. Please, forgive me. I
don't know what led me to say all of that to you. I get
started and I get carried away."
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"No, no, Rache, please don't apologize. That was the

most beautiful thing I've ever heard about life. You were
meant to say it. Thank you."
Rachel grabbed a tissue, wiped her eyes and blew her

nose. Finally, she looked at Hal with red eyes and a red
nose and they just laughed. Hal folded his hand on top of
hers, making her feel uncomfortable. She returned to
staring at her hands.
No, Hal thought, he had never heard life explained like

that before, but he liked it, especially coming from
Rachel. He couldn't explain what he was feeling. He looked
at Rachel with tearful eyes. He couldn't say what he
wanted to say. Instead, he asked,
"Do you think there's any hope for Tanya and her
family?"
"Hope is eternal Hal. Where God's Grace and Mercy

allows it, only He knows. No one can predict who He sends
it with. Perhaps, that's the real reason why you're
there."
She handed him the paper she had been studying when he
walked in and leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek.
"I've got to get back to work, Hal. Let me know what

you decide. I won't hold it against you and you're always
welcome to submit a story. I'll make sure it gets
printed."
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As Hal left the room, he kicked himself for never

trying to really get to know Rachel before she was
promoted. They had dated a few times and he was more
interested in the physical part of her.
Rachel watched Hal walk away, then went to close the

blinds and lock the door. She sat back down, hiding her
face in her folded arms upon the table. At first, she
tried not to cry too loud, but soon, she was lost in her
tears and nothing else mattered.
Hal found the limousine waiting outside. He was glad

Rachel didn't have time to walk with him to the door. He
hadn't told Rachel everything. Quickly, he slipped inside
and told the driver he was in a hurry to get back and they
sped away from the building.
He looked down at the sheet of paper Rachel had given

him wondering if he and Rachel could ever get back
together. Leaving The Daily would give him the freedom to
explore that possibility.
He read the song entitled, GIVE ME A CLEAN HEART1 and

imagined Rachel's melodic voice singing it.
Give me a clean heart So I may serve Thee

Lord fix my heart So that I may be used by Thee
For I'm not worthy Of all these blessings
Give me a clean heart And I'll follow Thee
1GIVE ME A CLEAN HEART

Composer:Margaret Pleasant Douroux
Copyright:© 1970 Earl Pleasant Publishing
320
I'm not asking For the riches of the land

I'm not asking For high men to know my name
Please give me, Lord, a clean heart
so that I may follow Thee
Give me a clean heart, a clean heart
And I will follow Thee
Sometimes I am up And sometimes I am down

Sometimes I am almost Level to the ground
Please give me, Lord, a clean heart
That I may follow Thee
Give me a clean heart, a clean heart
And I'll follow Thee
As Hal read the last line, a tear dropped upon a word

making the ink bleed within the paper. He folded the paper
neatly and tucked it into his shirt pocket and began to
think about his plans for the rest of the day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Episode 6
AUNTIE YONNY: The Plots
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Episode 6
AUNTIE YONNY: The Plots
At the first traffic light, the chauffeur called back

and told Hal that there was an envelope for him inside of
the liquor cabinet. Hal opened the cabinet and saw a white
envelope with the hospital's logo on the front wedged
between what appeared to be two very expensive bottles of
brandy. He wasn't much of a drinker, but he didn't
recognize any of the labels on the bottles in the cabinet.
Inside of the envelope was a card key and a list of areas
to which he had access.
It felt like getting the keys to a new apartment and

there was no turning back. His surroundings had changed,
he thought, and he had better prepare himself as much as
possible for his life to begin changing in big ways.
The chauffeur knew exactly where to go, when they

arrived at the hospital. Hal laughed at himself thinking,
unlike him, it wasn't the chauffeur's first rodeo, he'd
probably been living this life for quite some time. He was
quick to jump out this time and open the door for Hal. He
had a reputation to protect and Hal wasn't going to ruin
it by making him appear to be lazy, unprofessional and
slovenly.
Upon, arrival on the penthouse floor, as Hal liked to

call it, the other guard, whose name he didn't know yet,
323
offered to take his coat and show him to his room. It was
clear that he had started to carry some clout around there
and wouldn't be having anymore problems from the bully
brothers. He decided it was best to be civil and be the
first to extend the olive branch of peace. When they got
to his room, he tried to be cordial.
"Thank you, uh..."
Hal hoped that was a cue, but, didn't get a response

from the guard.
"I know Steve's name now, but, what's your name?"
"Jake."
"Okay, Jake, nice to meet you, well, you can call me

Hal."
Hall offered his hand, but, Jake was heading out of the
door. Hal smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand,
asking himself, "What do I have to do to make friends or
even get a smile from these guys? There has to be some
way.
Then, he remembered seeing them watch a Yankee's game

on their TV He would call down to the sports room at The
Daily and ask Hopper to get him two good seats at the
Yankee's game. Of course he'd ask Miriam for permission so
that the guys could get a day off, if they ever did.
The room was more than adequate and of course was very
tastefully decorated, above the standards of a usual
324
hospital room. It had all the comforts of home, with a

full-size bed and bath equipped with a spacious walk-in
shower. He opened the closet and found a robe, house
shoes, trousers, shirts, ties, and four suits. He assumed
they belonged to the previous occupant.
All of a sudden, the phone in the room rang, startling

Hal.
Not knowing if it was for him, he decided to answer it
anyway and recognized Miriam Barrett's voice on the other
end of the line.
"Hello Hal! How was your meeting?"
Miriam had brought back thoughts of Rachel he was

trying to suppress.
"It was fine thank you, I..."
"Well, I have a meeting of my own this afternoon and I

won't be with you and Auntie Yonny. However, she's waiting
for you now. Are you finding everything satisfactory in
your room, if not, we can call someone. I hope the clothes
fit, but I'm a pretty good judge of men's clothing sizes.
I was married for fifty years and had four boys to clothe,
besides my husband. If you require a different type or
brand of undergarments, we'll send for them in the
morning. I had them bring several types and sizes of
shoes. I hope something fits. "
Hal opened the bureau drawers and sure enough there was
an adequate supply of underwear, and an assortment of t-
shirts and socks.
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"Go ahead and have dinner without me. I'll see you in
the morning. Please say goodnight to Auntie Yonny for me.
Good bye, Hal. "
"Thank you for everything and good bye, Miriam."
Seeing that he had a wide selection of toiletries, Hal

freshened up a little, then, went to Tanya's room and sat
at her bedside.
"Hello, Mrs. Yanovich, I'm sorry I took so long in

getting back. Let's get started."
Tonya nodded her head. Hal set his recorder up and took
out his note pad.
"Now, you've been telling me a lot of facts, but what

proof can you give me? Without proof its just a good
fiction story."
"I can give you John's journals and files."
"Didn't the FBI and CIA get all of those?"
"No. Not all of them. He transferred files to his

family's business. Basically, it's names and dates and
encrypted files of funding."
"And you can get this?"
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"Yes."
"Anything else? How can I prove the election rigging?"
"The Mad Hatter's Family. After the Russian uprise and

government overthrow, Alice in Wonderland hurried to buy
the States computer research companies involved in the
democratic campaign hacking and cyber-attack on the
election computers that the FBI said couldn't be proven.
Truth was, they had to keep the technology and Russia's
cyber weapons secret so as not to cause worldwide panic
and a national crisis. The weapon was our assurance that
if the race was close enough the Russians could take us
over the top.
When Russia became a democracy, the Mad Hatter's group

scooped up a lot of businesses that had been under State
control. I heard that the information is here in the
United States now."
"Do you know who has it?"
"Since her father's death, I heard it was passed down

into the hands of the Mad Hatter's great-granddaughter."
"And what makes you think she'll just hand it over to

me?"
"Because you're going to leave her with no other

choice."
Hal stared at Tanya in disbelief. What kind of woman

was inside of that decaying body? What had she learned
327
during her education in the White House and around Capital

Hill? Or, was this part of her shrewd business training
from her father?
Then, there was Ilya Yanovich, who many said had deep
connections with Russian Oligarchs, Russian mafia, and
government corruption. She ran his businesses for years
before turning them over to a board of directors and
making her step-son the chief executive officer. What had
Tanya Yanovich become? --Her Father? Or, more of a type of
philanthropic dictator?
"How?" Hal asked.
"Her father's business is struggling and about to

collapse. Her relatives don't want to help her save it
because they say it's worthless--obsolete.
So you're going to come to the rescue; on one

condition, that is. But, at first, you won't make it so
obvious as to what you're after. Make it sound like the
only way to save her precious newspaper company is to
publish and capitalize upon these files, making them an
important part of American history.
Sell her on the sensationalism of owning such an item

and how it will attract followers and readers for years to
come. Offer to partner with her in making documentaries
and producing new blockbuster movies about the files.
Sure, there have been dozens of films made speculating on
the subject, but, you have actual proof! Combined with my
information, you will make THE movie with the true story
that's never been told and have sole rights to everything
thanks to the hard work of my attorneys.
328
The Mad Hatter's Family and surviving group will

eventually try to get in on the deal and you will make
them the primary donors to our foundation. They and others
who contributed to the mess my father and family made will
pay to help try to make amends."
Hal couldn't believe what he was hearing from this

dying woman. Didn't she know she was dying and about to
meet her Maker? Didn't she care about her soul?
"Oh, I know it sounds sneaky and conniving and somewhat

ruthless and dishonest, but, it's for a greater good.
We're actually doing her a huge favor. We'll turn that
shabby little newspaper into a historical monument and
money-maker in no time."
"How will I explain knowing about the files? Won't she

be suspicious? "
"Not at all, you're a reporter and you acted on a tip.

She doesn't know that I know. I hired a private
investigator to get the information. You're just working
on behalf of my foundation to save historical landmarks
and make them profitable and productive industries within
their communities again."
Hal began to wonder if everything was about making

money to Tanya Graves and was she really a philanthropist
and global activist for freedom, equality and economic
empowerment of impoverished women and nations? Was this
really about making amends for past wrong-doing?
"So, you expect me to deceive her?"
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"No, I expect you to save a dying newspaper that

doesn't have to die, help a community and a sweet girl
trying to preserve her father's legacy and help to do what
little can be done to right past wrongs. The means may be
unorthodox, but it is for a greater good."
Hal tried to internally process this newly revealed

side of Tanya and determine its origin.
"So, that was the Graves Family creed and philosophy,"

he concluded within his mind and began to understand their
way of thinking. "Use any means possible for what they
personally believe is the greater good and the greater
good is always to their advantage and financial benefit."
He began to mentally kick himself for approaching this

whole story and opportunity with such a naive attitude.
Then, he had to backtrack and think about how he too had
ulterior motives and selfish expectations. Hadn't he been
hoping to use the epic story of the Graves Family and the
horrors of history for his own advantage to propel himself
into the limelight of journalistic fame and worldly
fortune? He went on silently torturing himself inside.
"How could I be so arrogant and gullible! They weren't

looking for an up and coming journalist, they were looking
for a stooge--a puppet--a fall guy to do their dirty work!
Miriam is too old and Tanya has run out of time. They need
someone smart enough to do the leg work while they're the
brains of the operation. No doubt, Tanya devised the plan
and filled Miriam in on all the details to carry it out
after her death. Gift? Perhaps they ARE a cursed family
because of their GREED, cruelty, selfishness and
shrewdness. Is having money their curse or the love of
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it?"
Chapter 11
CARRYING YOUR CROSS AS YOU LIVE

ABUNDANTLY
Colossians 4:5-6 KJV
Walk in wisdom toward them that are without,

redeeming the time. Let your speech be always with
grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye
ought to answer every man.
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Father,
The more you share with me the wider the gap

becomes between me and those clinging to the ways
of the world. They try to find fault in me, when I
only look at them with love, to love them. They
expect me to be different, but, as they would have
me to be different.
There is not a move that I make or a word that I

speak that is not judged as an opportunity to
strike me down. I know that it is only because they
see through the eyes of the enemy who would devour
me and have men throw stones at me. He kindles
pride within them and pride has made a bed for them
to lie in. Hence, they are comfortable in their
position to look down on me and judge me, although,
their view is distorted.
Holy Father, they cannot understand the

relationship You have with Your children, for they
have not shed their flesh to gain knowledge through
the Spirit, of the Spirit. Neither can they
understand my mission as your prophet to bring
awareness and change to the world. They do not see
the hypocrisy of trying to keep politics out of
religion, for:
Jesus' crucifixion was a political event, a

precursor of future governments' judgment and
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persecution of His followers. A precursor of God's

judgment upon the world for refusing to recognize
His Son, Who is His Word, whereby, they have
despised and rejected YOU, their Creator and Your
Holiness and Righteousness.
Without the leadership of the church, the Civil

Rights Movement would not have moved forward.
Without the leadership of the church, throughout
history, people in this and other countries would
not have found strength to break free of tyranny
and oppression.
The world knows the POWER of the church as does the

enemy. It is not for the good of government that
the influence of the church is banned. Without the
Word of God, there would BE no government! It is
within the laws of God that the government was
created, gains and loses its power.
Martin Luther King, Jr. was called to pull the

church up by its boot straps and march it into the
eyes of discriminating politics and politicians.
Now, we lay down our SWORD, which BEGAN the Civil
Rights Movement, in exchange for false freedom and
equality. Now, the enemy has been EMBOLDENED!
Rearing its head up, leading our government and
reversing the liberty and equality that so many
fought and died for.
Men like Arch Bishop Romero, of EL Salvador, fought
333
from the pulpit and in the streets. Men like Martin

Luther King, Jr. fought from the pulpit and within
the STREETS. They were true Shepherds of God
PROTECTING their sheep from the darkness in the
world that flowed from government OPPRESSION and
REJECTION of God's Word and the freedom and
equality it espouses.
Now, there are governments which prey upon the weak

and poor and disadvantaged like animals because
they see the church has become COMPLICIT and weak
without teeth and nails and the will to fight back!
Where are the Martin Luther Kings, who are not
blinded by false protocol and tradition injected
into the church to place it into BONDAGE and render
it helpless? The CALL OF GOD HAS NOT CEASED! Men
have just allowed darkness and pride to deafen
their ears!
FATHER, THEY DO NOT WANT TO CHANGE BECAUSE THEY

REFUSE TO FEEL THE SUFFERING OF THY PEOPLE! Have
Thy Way Dear Lord, Have Thy Way!
Father, now, they display me as one to be ridiculed

and despised as they pretend to befriend me. Lord,
they have no true knowledge of the power of Your
Holy Spirit and how You work through men. Forgive
them Lord, for they know not what they do.
By turning others against me, they cannot see how

the enemy has hardened their heart and filled them
with jealousy and envy of my gifts and talents and
how you favor and provide for your servant. Things
334
that I have not done and could not do for myself.

Their eyes, filled with self, refuse to see that
only God can raise up and only God can cast down.
Father, I bear my cross and carry it through the

streets to be ridiculed and spat upon, as it was
Your Will for my brother, Jesus. I see the workings
of Your Plan, through my presence and Your presence
within me. Your people still perish for lack of
knowledge. They have been fed lies by the enemy to
keep them weak. Our race and minorities continue to
suffer because Your leaders have given up the fight
for freedom in exchange for prosperity, material
things, and self-recognition. They rebuke and put
down anyone and everything which threatens their
comfort zone. Lord, have mercy upon them, for they
know not what they do.
Father, you know my heart, its concerns and its

desires for my Brothers and Sisters and how I yearn
for true fellowship, wishing they all could see
with Your eyes and feel with Your Love, so that men
and women will come to love one another as they
should. Touch them, Father. Lord Jesus, lead them
to Calvary that they may die to self and not be
used by darkness for darkness.
Holy Spirit Who walks with me and talks with me,

cleansing me, guiding me, making a way out of no
way. Help me to accept those things that are God's
Will for me and others as I know they serve to
bring forth fruitfulness, holiness and
righteousness. Strengthen me and continue to use me
335
to do Thy Will. Your Will, Oh, Lord, not mine, for

I know I can find COMFORT within Thee.
In the name of He whose footsteps continue to keep

me on the straight path; holding my hand; allowing
me to lean upon His strength; picking me up, when I
stumble; carrying me when I grow weary, I praise
Thee and honor Thee, giving You all the Glory.
Amen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Brothers and Sisters,
When I think of how much one loves God, I don't measure

it by who gives the most money in church, nor do I dare to
judge or measure someone's love for God by any means
tangible.
We are given the example of the widow who contributed

all that she had to God, which was extremely little, not
so much to show the virtues of giving, but to show that
the heart is the gauge by which God, not man, measures and
judges; not only our love for Him, but our faith in Him as
our provider.
Yes, the widow's meager contribution was given in love,

but that love, could have also been there if she was
wealthy and given all that she had. However, to give all,
one is driven by great faith; for the next move is God's.
Having given all, you must first consider if God will
336
allow you to perish? Is your giving in vain, if you give

all and then, later, look back to what you no longer have
or fear that you will suffer for having given? Are you
giving all as a loving offering to God because you await
death?
No, through the widow's example of giving, Mark

12(KJV), God is showing us that the love He is looking for
is multifaceted. For God's love is the sum of ALL FRUIT.
Within His love is hope, trust, and faith, steadfastness,
humility, self control, etc.
Therefore, within the widow's love and giving lay a

seed containing God's Fruit, with undying FAITH for the
INCREASE, continuing to place her LIFE in God's hands,
which was MORE VALUABLE than the coins and more valuable
than the wealth of the richest man.
So, what is the REAL moral of this example on giving?

Is it merely showing your love for God by giving freely,
even to your last? Can we use it to bring GUILT upon
others, or as a TOOL to increase the church offering?
Is God so SHALLOW as to plant such a carnal and worldly

point of view within His Word? Or, is Jesus directing our
eye and heart in a different direction, for those who have
ears to hear?
If so, then yes, the coins represent something else

besides giving money to show or prove to God or man that
we love God by how much we give back to Him monetarily.
Certainly, God is not so easily placated as man. Perhaps,
men and women of the world have fallen into that trap,
believing love is proven by the value of gifts, but, the
eye of the Believer must see through the eyes of God to
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win over hearts.
We cannot use love for God as a weapon or judgment of

other's giving, alienating and corrupting the minds of
those who have not learned the true meaning and value of
giving. Neither can we view this passage of scripture as a
weapon to alienate those we feel threatened by or see as
being hypocrites.
It is when we learn to SEE the coins in their TRUE

FORM, as God would have us to see them. Just as Jesus used
the metaphor of bread being His body, our GIVING back to
God, who OWNS EVERYTHING, represents OUR BODY. But, can we
put a PRICE on OUR LIVES and give money as to how much we
VALUE OURSELVES? Then, again, we are trying to BUY God.
Even as the widow gave everything she had to LIVE ON,

ALL in love for God, it was not only a REPRESENTATION of
EVERYTHING she had materially, but a REPRESENTATION of
EVEN HER LIFE (mind, body, and spirit), being in GOD'S
hands.
Mark 12:44(KJV)
For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she

of her want did cast in all that she had, even all
her living.
So, if the widow did not have or give what others would
consider to be ten percent of her income to give back to
God, yet, God saw this as giving more than those who did,
is God in conflict with His own laws? Did the widow break
a law that had been handed down from God? Why did God
overlook this fact? Was it because He knew that this was
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all the widow had left in the world, although, it may not
have met her ten percent in the eyes of others or did the
fruitfulness of her giving result in INCREASE within God's
eyes; for like the woman with an issue of blood, who
risked being stoned to death or killed by other means,
this woman had also GIVEN HER LIFE and placed the FUTURE
of HER LIFE in GOD'S hands?
Perhaps, if we too, would give EVERYTHING, which

includes OUR LIFE, we would see the INCREASE! God would
touch what we have given and provide for all of our needs,
wants and desires. We would not have to beg, plead and try
to shame people into giving if they knew and understood
that God wants it ALL! Give it ALL back to God! Knowing
that God has everything and everything belongs to Him!
Yes, as we saw with Sapphira and who withheld money from
God from the sale of a parcel of land and Abraham whom God
asked to sacrifice Isaac, God wants it all, knowing that
you have SURRENDERED YOUR LIFE and TRUST HIM to provide
for your future and produce the increase!
As we look at the way giving takes place within the

institutional church, we can see that we as Believers have
created a dilemma for ourselves that can be traced back to
the introduction of carnal, false doctrine and the
institutionalization of the church.
The church is a living entity, is it not? How do we

give back to God by helping to sustain the Body of Christ
and support the institutional church? One is in
competition with the other. When it came to taking care of
the temple, all of the Tribes of Israel were responsible
for its upkeep.
But, Believers today have allowed doctrine, traditions

and rituals to continue to separate them, dividing them
339
into denominations and sects. Instead of ONE body, they

see themselves as MANY bodies, not in agreement with one
another. Therefore, these bodies cannot function and
provide as one. Further failure to be in unison causes
people to be DISCONNECTED from the church, the Body and
God.
So, can people see themselves as a vital part of the

Body of Christ, and know their function within it? This is
what God was preparing His children for in Israel as
provided for the Temple. If we cannot see ourselves as a
VITAL PART of the body's or temple's functioning, then
perhaps this is where the breakdown is occurring.
Do we see the institutional church as being a connector

and tool for the Body? Then, perhaps the institutional
church is serving the representative body and not the True
Body of Christ, whereas, there is no true commitment from
those who have no real FUNCTION to the KINGDOM, as they
are not connected to The Vine. People are being
EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED to God but, not SPIRITUALLY AND
PHYSICALLY CONNECTED to God.
God introduced another idea for man to grasp, when He

sent His Holy Spirit and made the human body of those who
receive Him as His TEMPLE. Then, he reminds us that WE are
our brothers' keeper. So, how do we support and nurture
the TEMPLES OF OTHERS, while still placing emphasis and
first priority to the institutional church? Are our
priorities in place? Are we maturing the SAINTS to know
that they are an integral part of THE BODY OF CHRIST,
whereby, they are prepared to offer EVERYTHING to God? Can
one man or woman, one shepherd, think that they can
accomplish this task alone, or should the physician who
renders medicine for others first heal himself? We often
hear the words of Ephesians Four, but, where are their
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FRUITFULNESS? Have they been PLANTED, or, have the seeds

been snatched up or withered and died because of PRIDE and
INFERTILE GROUND?
We must rethink this thing called "church." We must

rethink this thing called "giving." We must rethink this
thing called "pride." We must rethink these things called
BELIEVING AND SERVING GOD! CLEANUP BEGINS IN-HOUSE! We
must stop trying to kill God's messengers through thought,
word and deed and pray for deliverance from ourselves!
Father Romero was assassinated. Reverend King was

assassinated. They were killed, but, their message, God's
message, lived on. Their dying was not in vain! They knew
that they had to change tomorrow because tomorrow would
not change itself. Too many of God's people were suffering
and dying. They knew they couldn't stay in their comfort
zone while their sheep were being slaughtered. They knew
that today was worth dying for to create a better
tomorrow!
Today, many of God's sheep have been stolen from God

and overseen by hirelings protecting their self-interests.
They believe they are living abundantly and try to
convince the people likewise, when at the same time, their
very souls are being stolen, while others suffer death and
persecution around them.
However, they feel they are safe and secure, while

people in government dismantle the government and begin
building a government that will target them next. But,
they think, "Oh, no, that can't and won't happen here!"
But it is already happening here, to the Jew, the Muslim,
and the Christian immigrant.
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God wants to know, "WHO IS YOUR BROTHER?" Are you his

keeper? But, the government says you're not aloud to talk
about those things in the church! Church leaders say, you
might OFFEND somebody who doesn't agree with you. Then,
what? They might cause legal trouble or leave the church
with their money in tow. Meanwhile, nobody is worried
about going against and offending THE WORD OF GOD! THE
WORD OF GOD WHOM THEY CLAIM TO REPRESENT! PHYSICIAN, HEAL
THYSELF! Believers, what is it that you believe in?
When people are too close to a problem, or looked down

upon, sometimes, they cannot offer a solution to a problem
that can be heard. They cannot even echo a sound to be
heard. Their voice falls upon deaf ears.
Usually, someone has to come behind them and offer the

same information or advice, in order for it to be heard.
Thus, Jesus could do very little in Nazareth, where
everyone knew Him. Yet, that did not stop God from sending
Him there, so that they would see the change that had come
over Him and hear The Word of God.
Matthew 13:57-58
57 And they were offended in him. But Jesus said

unto them, A prophet is not without honour, save in
his own country, and in his own house.
58 And he did not many mighty works there
Father, I know that Your Wisdom is INFINITE. Use me

and my Brethren, Lord, and let Thy Will be done in
earth, even in the earthen bodies of men, as it is
in Heaven. Amen.
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Your servant and soldier, united with the One, fighting,

fighting, fighting...
mishael
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mark 12(KJV)
Jesus Rejected at Nazareth:
Isaiah 61:1-11; Matthew 2:19-23; Mark 6:1-6; Luke 2:39-
40; Luke 4:16-30
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Episode 7
AUNTIE YONNY: Late Night Visitor
344

Episode 7
AUNTIE YONNY: Late Night Visitor
Hal gathered that he already knew too much and he'd

have to be very careful how he chose his words from here
on in or out, that is, if there was a way out. By telling
him all that she had, Tanya had basically made his
decision for him and cornered him into a verbal contract.
His sensational story of the year had evolved into his

first column withholding the truth from the public. He had
obligated himself not to divulge their secret plot. Who
would believe him, anyway? He definitely couldn't report
this wild scheme to anyone else or write a story about it
without sabotaging his whole career. He had no proof. His
voice recorder had clicked off and he had reached in his
backpack to get new batteries. Of, course, Tanya knew
that, that's why she spoke so freely. Her hearing and
eyesight was better than she had led on.
She was speeding things up for Miriam and he fell into

her trap. He gave himself another mental kick to punish
his being caught off guard. These women were old, but,
they definitely were still sharp mentally and dangerous.
And, where did Derek Graves fit in to all of this? He

finally spoke out loud to the calculating mastermind,
virtually knocking on the door of death in front of him.
"And, what about Derek Graves?"
345
"What about Derek? Oh, yes, the would be, want to be

president following in his great-grandfather's footsteps.
He will try to stop you from further tarnishing the family
name, renewing the memories of my father's terrible and
corrupted presidency, the war, the death and devastation,
the Period of Restoration, and the fear of another
possibly rigged election, which could thereby, ruin any
chance of him ever getting elected to any public office,
but let him try."
"Why would you do this, now? What do you have against

Derek Graves? Isn't he your nephew?"
"I have nothing personal against Derek. He just happens

to be a Graves. But, he's too much like my father and
that's dangerous. The Graves Family has too much to pay
for. We can't have him or any other Graves adding on to
the family debt."
Hal was thinking that Tanya Graves was the one too much
like her father and very dangerous. Was she mad? For some
reason, she felt she held all the cards within her family
poker game. However, she did inherit the bulk of the
fortune. Her stepmother, however complicit she was in the
crimes or cover-up, had taken her money and ran away from
the eye of the public. She had always been rather good at
that.
"How is exposing everyone going to help your family

image? None of this makes sense!"
"That's why we need you to make it make sense. Fresh

news brings new opportunities, no matter if the news is
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positive or negative. We always capitalize upon the

public's attention and play the side that is winning, even
if it means burying Derek Graves' campaign to win over the
public.
"Like what your father did to the General?"
"Yes, like what my father did to the General. The Red

General wasn't going anywhere, and he needed to go, but,
he knew too much. He said he wasn't going to be the
sacrificial scapegoat or the fall guy, when everyone else
was just as guilty. The only way my father could get rid
of him without exposing himself was to have the story
leaked to the Washington Post and force him to resign,
then, say he was fired to make it look good. My father
promised to pardon him.
Now, where was I? The new generation of Graves will

keep history from repeating itself, clean itself of its
old past and arise as servants of the public, helping to
build the future."
Hal was about to further question Tanya, when a tall,

caramel-colored man, with graying hair, tapped on the door
and entered the room smiling. A small entourage of medical
technicians rolling carts, followed close behind him. As
he approached, Hal read the name on his white lab coat.
Dr. Naveen Acharya was obviously Mrs. Yanovich's attending
physician and they were going to do some type of procedure
on her.
"Good afternoon, Mrs. Yanovich, how are you feeling?"
Tanya nodded her head. Evidently, she didn't welcome
347
the painful news that this voice always brought with it.
"The nurse told me that your urine test results are not
good and you have a slight temperature. We want to change
your catheter, check your bladder and kidney functioning
and get you started on an antibiotic. More pain medication
would not be good for you at this time. Still, we don't
want you to be in pain, so to prevent future pain, you
will have to experience some minor discomfort, now, so,
please bear with us."
Hal stood up to leave. It was approaching dinner time

anyway.
"I'll let them do what they need to do and come say

goodnight later on, Mrs. Yanovich."
The doctor looked over at Hal.

"Thank you, sir. I'm Dr. Acharya are you a relative?"
"Oh, no, sir, I work for Mrs. Yanovich. I'm Hal

Siegfried."
That was the first time Hal had said those words and
the reality of them struck at his heart. He worked for the
Graves Family, at least one faction of it.
"Nice to meet you Mr. Siegfried."
Hal knew better to try and shake the doctor's rubber-

gloved hands. He bowed out of the room quietly and headed
for his room.
348
Being served dinner, alone, at the huge dining table,

was awkward and lonely. Hal would rather have taken his
plate to his room and watched television while he ate, or
eaten with the security guards. He wondered what Rachel
was doing for dinner and if she was eating alone. He tried
not to think about it.
He needed to get out of there for a while and think

about things. Could he do what they were asking him to do?
What would Rachel think of him if he did? Would she
respect him as a person? Could he respect himself?
He grabbed his favorite jacket, then, leaving his phone

number with the security guards, let them know he'd be
gone for awhile. He caught a taxi to check on his
apartment and to retrieve his mail, then, headed for a
local sports bar down the street. He took a seat in the
back, ordered and drank a soda, read his mail, then,
decided it was too noisy to think. He hailed a taxi and
headed back to the hospital.
It was nice having his own key and private entrance,

but, he had already begun to miss the crazy antics with
the receptionist. She was mildly entertaining, but, Hal
decided he'd start being very nice to her and compliant
when it came to her regiment of duties.
The penthouse was dimly lit except for the security

desk. To his surprise, there was a different guard on duty
who was of what he considered to be average size. He stood
and to Hal's amazement gave him a huge, welcoming smile
that warmed Hal inside. He was needing some kind of
normal, friendly contact from another human being.
349
"Good evening, Mr. Siegfried, how are you tonight?"
"Hi! Fine, thank you!"
The guard had a heavy accent which identified him as

probably being from a South American country.
"I'm your friendly night watchman, Arturo! Is there

anything I can do for you before you turn in?"
"Arturo, you've already done it!"
"I can turn the lights up so you can see down the
hallway. Just wait a second. Ah! That one!"
The lights brightened as Arturo pressed a button and he

appeared to be extremely pleased at his accomplishment and
being able to be of service to Hal.
"If you need me tonight, just press the button for the
security desk and I will be there in a jiffy. Oh! And the
nurse said that Mrs. Yanovich is asleep and must not be
disturbed."
Arturo smiled, happy that he had remembered the message

and had done his job well.
"Thank you, Arturo, your kindness is very much

appreciated."
Arturo's eyes lit up, he stuck his chest out, stood up
350
straight and seemed to grow an inch. That's what Hal had

been missing since he stepped into this hospital--human
kindness and people appreciating and loving their job,
truly wanting to serve others. Yes, he decided with
determination, he would definitely start being nice to
that receptionist and to everyone else, regardless of how
he was treated.
Hal entered his room, flipped on the light and found

his bed turned down with new pajamas and slippers arranged
on the bed. Upon entering the bathroom there was a fresh
smell and clean towels.
"Maid service, too, huh?" He said aloud. "Yeah, this is

going to take some getting used to."
The bed looked inviting and he was really tired, but,

after taking his clothes off, he knew he had better head
for the shower.
A luxurious shower using his new line of body products,

soft towels and comfortable pajamas made him good and
ready for bed. He slid between the fresh clean sheets and
started to lay his head down, when suddenly he remembered
the sheet of paper from Rachel in his shirt pocket. He
jumped out of bed and rumbled through his dirty clothes
searching for the pocket. Finding the folded paper, he was
glad it was still there and hadn't been accidentally lost
or thrown away. He unfolded the paper, glanced at it, then
quickly refolded it and tucked it in his pajama shirt
pocket, turned out the light and climbed into bed. His
last conscious thought was,
"No, I don't need sleeping pills."
351
A man's heavy voice and a woman, who sounded like

Miriam telling the man to be quiet, awakened Hal from the
first peaceful slumber he'd had in a couple of nights. He
crept down the hallway to investigate what was going on.
Arturo was probably making his rounds. As he neared the
hallway towards Miriam's room, he could hear more clearly.
"Is she going to tell him EVERYTHING?! She's putting a

target on his back. There are some people who care, who
are still living, like Derek, his donors and supporters,
and the families of victims, to name just how many to
start with, maybe a few hundred thousand or should we say
millions of people?!"
"We've already started protecting him twenty-four hours

and I've convinced him to stay here. When Auntie's passed
away, we'll have him move in with us or assign him a
bodyguard."
"Isn't he going to suspect something if you do that?"
"No, he's an important man now! I'll convince him he

needs protection because of his instant wealth and because
we are all taking precautions, since Derek is running for
president."
Once the story is out, everyone will be exposed. There

aren't many people left and we don't know if any one
besides Derek's group cares anymore."
Hal tried to make it back to his room without making a

sound, but the floor squeaked. He made a mad dash for his
bed and covered his head hoping they would think it was
352
Arturo and no one would suspect him.
In light of the conversation he had just heard, he

tried to stay awake and figure things out, but, his sleep
deprived body wasn't having it. This time, under a deep
sleep, the dreams continued. Fighting the unwanted images,
he would try to bring himself out of the dreams and for a
brief moment, temporarily awake, he tried to understand
why they were so vivid and intense.
Too fatigued to fight, he fell into another dream as if

falling down a hill. Then, he heard Rachel's melodic voice
say, "God is trying to tell you something." That was
enough to jar Hal out of his dream state. He sat up in bed
poured a glass of water to drink from the carafe beside
his bed and headed to the bathroom.
When he came out of the bathroom, he was wide awake, so

he picked up a magazine to read from the table. It struck
him that it was quite a convenient coincidence that there
was an article on interpreting dreams.
He read for awhile, but his mind went back to Tanya

Graves and her shrewdness. Tanya like her father was
trying to control things until the very end. Like him, she
believed that good deeds would get her into heaven; but
she didn't have a changed heart. She was still trying to
protect her father in her own new twisted thinking way,
still not really confessing the sins she committed, also.
She saw her father as having a chance to really make a

difference in the world and do something good. She hoped
it would change him, too, and make him a better person.
She was so hoping to see true faith and belief emerge from
her father's heart, but instead the corruption grew,
353
nurtured by those around him and the Russians.
The Crowned Queen, Shale, and Assange were their

connection to the Russian plot. They had much to lose.
This had been a plan years in the making. Her father

was on board from the beginning when the Russian's offered
to advance him in his business deals in exchange for
little favors. They stroked his ego and implanted
suggestions, telling him he was such a brilliant business
man and he should be running the country.
They fed him all the attention and praise that he

thrived on and gave him Carte Blanche in Moscow. They
offered to send business his way to make him a richer and
more powerful man so that one day he could be president.
But, all the while they saw him as a lavished, fool with
no morals or standards; someone they could manipulate and
use for their benefit.
354
Episode 8
AUNTIE YONNY:
THE GREATER OF TWO EVILS
355

Episode 8
AUNTIE YONNY:
THE GREATER OF TWO EVILS
Morning came before Hal knew it, which he didn't mind.

He was hoping to get in to talk to Tanya before Miriam. He
wanted to get more information about his involvement
without letting on to overhearing Miriam's conversation
with the late night visitor.
He looked at the questions he hadn't had a chance to

ask yesterday. He'd ask the most important questions and
then ask to finish their conversation from yesterday.
He was glad there was a television in his room. First,

he'd get the early morning news, then, shower and get
dressed. Breakfast here was too much of a gala event, so,
he'd grab something to eat later on.
As he turned past several news channels, there were

bold headlines running across the bottom of the screen.
Derek Graves' major opponent's campaign headquarter
computers had been hacked. Hal didn't think that type of
thing was possible anymore and apparently, neither did
anyone else reporting on TV this morning. Each news
network was making a parallel comparison to the
Illegitimate Graves Presidency Scandal.
"This can't be a coincidence," Hal thought, pulling his

hair back and grabbing it in his fingers tightly, as if he
356
wanted to pull it out. He had to get his hands on a

morning newspaper.
There was no time to waste, Hal jumped out of bed and

grabbed a pair of trousers and a shirt and got dressed.
Sliding on his new house shoes and grabbing his wallet, he
opened his door to run to the elevator door and tripped
over something in front of his door. Hitting the opposite
wall and landing on the floor with a thump, he saw two
newspapers in front of his door. Sitting up and leaning
back against the wall, he picked them up and unfolded
them, seeing The Daily and The Financial Review.
He sat there and began reading The Daily. Glancing down

the hallway, he discovered he was being observed by Jake
and Steve.
"I'm okay guys! Good morning Steve! Good morning,

Jake!"
Steve and Jake looked at each other, showing no emotion

or expression, then, returned to the security desk. Hal
was glad he was okay. He'd hate to die from an accident in
a hospital of all places because he tripped over
newspapers and bodyguards left him to die.
The story said that the hacking must have taken place
two weeks ago and last night the internet was flooded with
the hacked files. The source of the file upload and the
hacker(s) had not been traced, but authorities were
confident that they would apprehend the perpetrators in
due time. Hal gathered the papers and crawled into his
room, his mind racing too fast to coordinate with his
actions.
357
He had to talk to Evan Matthews who was working on the

story and get more information. Rachel could help him make
that connection, but, she would want to know why. On top
of that, he couldn't let anyone else know the reason why
he was interested. He'd have to find a viable reason for
his actions that wouldn't raise too much suspicion.
Hal's stomach growled loudly. Maybe breakfast couldn't

wait after all.
He continued watching the news and reading the paper,

trying to estimate the time in which he would be able talk
to Tanya. Smelling breakfast and having no control over
his growling stomach and hungry salivating glands, he
cleaned up and headed to the dining room, hoping the food
was ready.
He walked into the dining room and stopped in the

doorway feasting his eyes upon the smorgasbord, feeling
like he had scored a three pointer basket. The table was
set and the food was steaming on the buffet table. He made
his way down to the end of the basketball court. He was
the first to arrive and added to his three-pointer, the
winning shot in a championship game and he was ready for
the breakfast of champions. He didn't know if it was
because the food just looked so good or if he was really
famished, but, he helped himself to a healthy portion of
everything.
Steve and Jake came in together just as he was popping

the last grape from his fruit bowl into his mouth. He
noticed they could monitor everything from their phones,
but they still took their tray back to the security desk.
If nothing else, these guys were reliable and
358
professional.
Hal expected to see Miriam, but, perhaps, her late

night caused her to sleep late. Hoping the nurse would be
finished with her duties and care of Tanya, he headed for
her room. His timing couldn't have been better. The nurse
was leaving the room and heading back to the nursing
station.
She was a very quiet woman, which definitely had no

bearing on the level of confidence others placed in her,
neither was it an indicator of her expertise. Hal had
watched her at work. She was a highly skilled
professional. Hal really liked saying her name, because,
it was uncommon and took time to pronounce it very
distinctly to hear the melodic tones.
"Good morning, Xe-no-bi-a!"
Xenobia shyly smiled and nodded her head.
"May I go in to see Mrs. Yanovich, now?"
"Yes," Xenobia said giggling, "she's awake."
"Thank you!"
Hal entered the room quietly, took his seat next to the
bed and quietly said,
"Good morning, Mrs. Yanovich. How are you?"
359
"Good morning, Hal. As well as can be expected. I know

I don't have much time left, but, I've lived long enough."
"I admire your strength and stamina. Do you feel like

talking this morning?"
"Not really, but, let's get it over with."
Hal got out his recorder and set it up.
"What do you know about the FBI Director that your

father fired and why did your father think that he could
get away with it?"
The Director believed he was making a wartime decision

by making an announcement about the Clinton emails before
the election. He kept our investigation quiet because
Russia had attacked the country and he was in the process
of engaging the enemy. If Clinton won, then, he would lose
his advantage and chance to pursue certain leads. He
couldn't miss the opportunity to expose the Russians and
traitors within our campaign who might get away with it if
Clinton won. My father winning was a tactical advantage to
buy more time and gain evidence of the biggest scandal,
crime and cover-up ever in American electoral history.
The Director knew my father would be the most corrupt

president elected and the first traitorous president ever.
He felt that sabotaging Clinton was the only way to
continue the investigation and uncover the plot while it
was actively in play.
360
The Russians had been meddling in elections for a long

time among other areas of espionage that affected and
threatened our national security. The election was just
the newest area of trespass and damage. He had to weigh
the lesser of two evils and in this case an attack by the
enemy on our political system and democracy involving
traitors within the country were definitely the greatest
evil. In his mind, as it should have been, our country was
at war. My father was a stooge and a pawn on booth sides
of the board, believing he controlled the moves.
"Did the Clinton campaign know about all this?"
"They knew some. They knew what was at stake. President

Clinton and Obama talked to Hillary about it. Election
night, Madam President took it hard, but graciously bowed
out for sake of country."
"You called Hillary Clinton Madam President?"
"Yes, the first woman and the most noble of all the
Presidents of the United States of America, President
Hillary Rodham Clinton."
Tears began to stream from Tanya's eyes. Hal didn't

know what to do. Should he call the nurse or just leave.
He was nervous and uncomfortable watching her cry, fearing
she'd have another attack, or worse. He started getting
out of his seat.
"No, Hal, don't leave me. Please. I'll be alright."
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Chapter 12
HUMILITY A ROADMAP TO TRUTH
AND ABUNDANT LIFE
John 21:15 King James Version (KJV)
So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter,

Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than
these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest
that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs.
362
363
ROAD SIGNS AND EXPLANATIONS
• Jesus cared if Peter loved Him, because He intended

for their relationship to be fruitful to help others,
also. We must remember that EVERYTHING we do affects
those around us. Our relationships affect more than
just one or two people.
• Jesus wants us to know within our heart, not just WHO

He is, but, who we are in Him, so that like Him, we
will love and be accountable to one another and GOD.
Likewise, by letting our Light shine it MATTERS what
others THINK about us so that we can lead them to
follow Christ!
• Now, Jesus could have said, I don't care what others

think about me or if they don't care about me, I don't
have to prove myself to anybody and the only one I'm
accountable to or have to prove myself to is God. But,
not so with my Lord. He told His Disciples to love one
another as He had loved them. Therefore, they were
accountable to one another as One, answerable to one
another as One, knowing that if one part of the Body
was injured, hurt, or in need of ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY
LOVE AND TRUTH, it affected the ENTIRE Body. We must
answer for those whom we lead astray, especially
children, thus, it matters how people perceive us and
how we present ourselves to others.
• Dare we talk about how someone dresses or their
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lifestyle, or what we perceive through our

shallowness, ignorance or perversion as their
immorality, when the wagging of our tongue and
influencing others has caused us and others to sin? It
matters how people perceive us and how we present
ourselves in front of others.
• Therefore, we cannot preach separatism and

selfishness, believing we are only accountable to God;
for we are our brothers keeper, as he is ours. God
said if you cannot love your brother than you do not
love Him. And, yes, that love includes how we perceive
one another for it speaks of the condition of our
heart and what kind of love we have for our brother.
Ephesians 4:32 (KJV)
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted,

forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake
hath forgiven you.
• Therefore, we must come into AGREEMENT, united as One,

having shed self and pride that causes us to shun,
ridicule and turn a deaf ear to our brother.
• When, we drop our pride, our HEARING improves. We can

hear what God is trying to tell us through OTHERS,
because we ARE NOT the only ones who know what needs
to be corrected within us. This is a statement covered
in darkness and pride, defying all reason and
knowledge of education, equipping the Saints
(Ephesians 4), and the necessity of God's Holy Spirit
as our teacher. God sends people into our lives as He
did with Paul and Timothy to edify and exhort,
revealing what needs to be done to bring fruitfulness
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and come into holiness and righteousness.
• Darkness will tell the PROUD to say, "You're not GOOD

ENOUGH to correct me, and I'm going to expose you as
not good enough." We want to pick and choose who we
will listen to, but, God will send that which or those
who offend our PRIDE to break us, so that He can mold
us.
• There are many things God wants to share with us, but,
first, He has to HUMBLE us! He doesn't do it as an act
of vindictiveness, punishment, or to embarrass,
belittle, or to be critical of us. He does it because
He LOVES US!
• It took me a long time to figure this out in the way

that God was using me. Why did I have to keep my
distance? But, God knows who is ready to listen and
who has to be humbled.
• And YES, LOVE IS AN EMOTION! It is multifaceted as God

is, for God is LOVE. The emotion of Love is what God
felt for us to sacrifice His Son. One cannot love
without emotion from the spirit, the heart. Emotion is
not a weakness, but a necessary part of love to evoke
empathy and compassion, to teach us and protect us and
express who we are; things that could not exist
without the emotional and unconditional love of God.
Through emotion, God has compassion upon man giving
him Grace and Mercy. Yet, to be PERFECTED in love,
producing Good Spiritual Fruit, that love which is
manifested from God's Holy Spirit, we must be attached
to The Vine.
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BIBLE STUDY
• If one allows others to interact in study of the

Bible, questioning and commenting, instead of creating
an authoritative monologue in a performance
environment of one voice, which prevents the coming
together of minds to reason together, interpreting to
gain better understanding, edification and
exhortation, then Truth finds its way into hearts and
souls. There must be variety and diversity to stir the
heart and mind and become relative, creating fertile
ground to plant a seed. The Holy Spirit joins us in
fellowship to walk in the Light and show us THE WAY.
It helps others to become bold in their knowledge of
the Word. However, pride can corrupt learning and
cause an individual to use it as a platform for self
to gain attention and praise for their knowledge.
• Is it any wonder why some people leave church and

can't remember what the sermon was about? Perhaps,
they haven't been motivated, stimulated, immersed and
involved in the learning process to allow the Word to
adhere to and touch their heart. That is why Bible
Study is an opportunity to go beyond the pulpit sermon
or lecture and create a relationship to the Word of
God!
• To study is to analyze and dissect facts and the

truth, which is why men sat at the Temple and Jesus as
a young boy, left the sight of His parents to savor
and study the Word of God with men who were thinkers
and reasoners, learning by absorbing thoughts and
experiences from one another. Their talking and
discussing the Word among each other created a
relationship and fellowship with the Word and with one
another.
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THE POTTER AT WORK
• To HUMBLE us, sometimes GOD has to harden our heart,

as He did to Pharaoh. Our destruction or growth
depends on what we do after this. We can come to see
that this is not about the flesh and God is in charge,
thereby, humbling ourselves. Or, we can continue to
harden our heart, fight flesh, and try to kick against
the goad and box with God.
• It is not only a painful thing to go through, but, a

painful thing to watch others go through, when God has
perfected your love through Him to love others.
However, as God's servants and vessels, we must be
obedient to God and follow through on the process.
• Jesus did not hold back when dealing with the Pharisee
and Sadducee. It wasn't about being patient or
impatient with them. It was about rendering TRUTH. He
called them what they were, "a brood of vipers." He
corrected their carnal ways of thinking and instructed
His Disciples not to do as they did. He stayed away
from them and tended to the flock they neglected to
properly feed, knowing they were not ready to accept
the message He brought from His Father. They had to be
HUMBLED! And, today, most still have not accepted Him
as The Son of God or heard the News of the Kingdom.
Patience? God would provoke the Jews to jealousy of
the Gentiles, by offering salvation to the Gentiles.
Sometimes God moves past patience for our own good.
368
Romans 11:10-12(KJV)
10 Let their eyes be darkened, that they may not

see, and bow down their back alway.
11 I say then, Have they stumbled that they should

fall? God forbid: but rather through their fall
salvation is come unto the Gentiles, for to provoke
them to jealousy.
12 Now if the fall of them be the riches of the

world, and the diminishing of them the riches of the
Gentiles; how much more their fulness?
SPEAKING TRUTH
Ephesians 4:15,16 (KJV)
15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into

him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
16 From whom the whole body fitly joined together

and compacted by that which every joint supplieth,
according to the effectual working in the measure of
every part, maketh increase of the body unto the
edifying of itself in love.
• The adversary wants to keep us blind and will confound

our minds to make fools of us before others. This is
extremely hard to watch and can be quite discouraging
and disheartening to us. However, we must remain aware
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that the adversary intends for us to give up and go

away.
Ephesians 4:17,18 (KJV)
17 This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord,

that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk,
in the vanity of their mind,
18 Having the understanding darkened, being

alienated from the life of God through the ignorance
that is in them, because of the blindness of their
heart:
• The adversary will increasingly torment you and use

others even more to strike at you, demean you, and try
to weaken you, using any means possible, trying to
make you act in the flesh. Remember that you are not
ALONE and it is God Who works through you.
• Instead of reacting against the things that are said

about and against you, or others, the Word of God, or
anything else, it helps to write the things down
physically or mentally to turn them into good,
rebuking them and replacing them with TRUTH.
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371
• Saints let no one tell you that gifts are not a sign
of spirituality, for only the Holy Spirit gives gifts
as He pleases and works those gifts.
• We are spiritual beings. However, the person endowed

with the gift(s) can be polluted and corrupted,
therefore, possessing a gift is not a sign that the
'person' abides in holiness and righteousness and
therefore can grieve the Holy Spirit.
1 Corinthians 12(KJV)
4 Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same

Spirit.
5 And there are differences of administrations, but

the same Lord.
6 And there are diversities of operations, but it is

the same God which worketh all in all.
7 But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to

every man to profit withal.
8 For to one is given by the Spirit the word of

wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same
Spirit;
9 To another faith by the same Spirit; to another

the gifts of healing by the same Spirit;
10 To another the working of miracles; to another

prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to
another divers kinds of tongues; to another the
interpretation of tongues:
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11 But all these worketh that one and the selfsame

Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will.
• To say that prophets cannot see the future is to deny

the foundation of the Bible, for Jesus came to fulfill
the prophecy of the prophets (that future which had
been predicted). The entire book of Revelation is a
glimpse of the future God ALLOWED John to see.
Therefore, God allows prophets to see the future.
Satan will confound the minds of the PROUD! Lord, have
mercy upon them.
• Yes, there are people with gifts who do not have the
knowledge, maturity or holiness to properly use their
gifts. But, to say they think themselves more
"spiritual" than others is not to understand
spirituality and being a "spiritual being." No one can
be more spiritual than someone else. We are ALL
spiritual beings descending from God. Just as one can
become holy, but not holier, by abiding in Jesus and
God's Holy Spirit; For it implies already being holy,
just as being more spiritual implies already being
spiritual, which makes it redundant.
• There are many reasons why people don't listen. The

enemy has many ways to stop up our ears, but, the
enemy enters through the door of PRIDE and our refusal
to surrender to the Will of God and die to our flesh
and be born again.
• Is there a lack of love deafening our ears? Yes, but

it is the lack of Perfect Love (unconditional love)
which comes from God and BEGINS with our humbling
ourselves, repenting, praying, seeking Gods face and
373
allowing Him to HEAL us.
• God seeks True Worshipers who worship in Spirit and in

TRUTH. However, He does not FORCE the Truth upon us,
but, He cares enough to humble us and point us in the
right direction. When we find Truth, we exhibit it by
showing our love for God by obeying him and loving one
another as He loves us.
• He raises up a broken and contrite spirit, but,

rebukes the proud. Let us not have our living be in
vain because of pride, repeating the fall of man in
the Garden of Eden, but, let us draw nigh to God,
accepting HIS TRUTH, HIS WILL AND HIS WAY.
• Brethren, I beseech thee. Be ye HUMBLE and HOLY that

we may walk together in the Light of the Lord,
ABUNDANTLY, within His Kingdom.
your servant and soldier, united with the One, mishael
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ephesians 4(KJV)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
374
Episode 9
AUNTIE YONNY:
What Putin Didn't Know and Couldn't
Possibly Foresee
375

Episode 9
AUNTIE YONNY:
What Putin Didn't Know and Couldn't Possibly Foresee
Tanya was alright, but, she started looking even paler

than usual. Hal tried to help by giving her some water. He
hoped that she was good for a couple more hours of
conversation. He looked at his background information
about the world events that took place as a result of
Putin and Graves scheming and trying to rearrange world
politics. He had obtained the information from a popular
bestseller, "What Putin Didn't Know and Couldn't Possibly
Foresee (How the Iranians and North Koreans inadvertently
helped bring democracy to Russia)."
Hal had made a condensed list of the timeline and

events he found within the book.
• North Korea invades South Korea
• U.S. sends more troops
• China warns N. Korea and U.S. especially, not to use
nuclear weapons
• N. Korea ignores China's warnings and threatens China
• China puts troops at its border
• N Korea engages Chinese troops on China/ N Korean
boarder and U.S./S. Korean troops on southern boarder
• Russia seizes opportunity to reclaim Ukraine and some
surrounding territory with U.S. occupied in numerous
conflicts.
376
• Russian economic budget is in danger of being drained,

due to expanding military operations and resources
directed toward Syria and N. Korea
• Chinese discover Russian funds channeled within and to
N. Korea and various other countries to destabilize
China
• Iran sees opportunity to put Shiites in control of
Iraq, angering ISIS
• U.S. sends some troops into Iraq
• Two different terrorists groups move into Russia to
fight because of their involvement and support in the
Middle East
• Russian rebels oppose wars and Putin, forcing troops
to fire on protesters resulting in massacre and
provoking civil war and a repeated line of atrocities
• United Coalition to overthrow Putin aids Russian
Rebels
• Russia's aid to Iranians, N. Korea, Syria, war in
Ukraine combined with civil war, fighting terrorists,
and trying to undermine democracy throughout the
world, drains military funding and Russian economy,
angering Oligarch supporters and many Russian
politicians.
• Turkey, Pakistan and Afghanistan fight expanding and
growing ISIS and Taliban terrorists.
• U.S. and Ally Coalition formed to quell fighting,
placing troops on boarders during Russian uprising.
Russian troops unable to flee and too beaten to fight
coalition troops
• What Putin Didn't Know: Three (3) Goalies, were
backing political opponent and aiding Russian rebels.
These 3 powerful Goalies, didn't like how he was
handling wars and foreign affairs: Ukraine, Syria,
377
• Iran and North Korea, etc. Russian business throughout

the country and world was being halted; economy was
failing; and people were starving and suffering. Three
Goalies saw a different plan and roll for Russia. They
saw Putin's plan as ruining the economy and
detrimental to the future of Russia.
• China invades N Korea and removes Kim Jong-un, ending
Korean war
• U.S. and China agree to leave Korean unification up to
N and S Korea
• Chinese oversee set-up of new socialist government
structure with prime minister, president and ministers
• Iran and N. Korea under new rule, side with Three
Goalies, who make a pact with U.S. to lift sanctions
on three countries when Putin's corrupt government is
overthrown and Iran moves out of Iraq
• Putin imprisoned and tried for war crimes in Syria,
Ukraine, Russia and other countries.
• Iran agrees to pull out of Iraq. New terrorists pour
into Iran causing unrest, economy failure. Without
Russia's help they look to U.N. for aid, fearing
terrorist gaining access to nuclear weapons. In
exchange they must agree to a new nuclear deal to
decrease nuclear proliferation.
• Brutal killing and government atrocities causes U.N.
to suspend activity in Iran. U.N. and surrounding Arab
nations demand Iran give up nuclear weapons, which
will be a threat to them if they fall into the hands
of terrorists and as a matter of international
security. Iran claims to have dismantled all weapons
and surrendered them to the U.N. Part of country
remains under terrorists control with civil unrest and
dissatisfaction with ruling government
• Iraq is fortified with coalition troops and
strengthened as a democracy, to close it off from Iran
378
and prevent return of terrorists. International

investors strengthen economy and cultural exchange.
• With Russia and Iraq as democratic nations, Iran and
N. Korea neutralized, the political climate of the
Middle East, Europe, and Asia begins to change with
new allies and enemies.
All of these events had happened very quickly. Hal

began to realize how much had happened since he had
arrived in the world. Today, all eyes were on Africa,
which had become highly industrialized and competitive in
the global market. Several nations had openly claimed
nuclear capabilities. However, with all the new technology
taking place there, no one doubted that many other
countries also had the technology and resources to be
dangerous and threatening if necessary. Many of the
developing countries had the opportunity to learn from the
mistakes of developed countries and began to put more
emphasis on developing socially and politically, so as not
to abuse and misuse their economic status.
In the past, the Graves Family had certainly abused and

misused their economic status. Had it not been for their
ignorance and arrogance, they might have gotten away with
it, Hal thought, but, Rachel always believed that God
stepped in and turned what was meant for evil into good.
He wondered how God was going to step in and turn this
twisted plot of Tanya Graves into good and how his being
involved would help facilitate it.
There was just too much history to cover and uncover in

this story. Hal knew he'd have to pick a specific topic
and stick to it, especially, since there was a time limit
to consider. Unlike his usual deadline for The Daily
newspaper, in order for a story to make it into print,
most of the content of this story was limited to an
379
unknown allotment of time--Tanya's time left before she

expired; and as Rachel would put it, "only God knows
that."
SPINNING A WEB OF POSSIBILITIES:
The Plots Within the Plots.
Hal had given Tanya time to gather her composure to the

best of her ability before he began asking questions
again. Then, she turned her head and looked at him as if
to say, "What are you waiting for," so he went on.
"What's the real story? What made your father finally

start to cooperate a little? How did they finally get
through to him that he was seriously in trouble and to
stop trying to evade and cover-up the evidence at hand? We
know that they found money laundering concerning his
businesses, but, what happened on the part of the
election?"
"They threatened to take everything. They had enough

evidence to seize property and they kept digging and
digging and discovered that his projects were illegally
Russian funded. We were doing business during times of
sanctions and with known criminals in organized crime
among other things, tax evasion and tax fraud to name just
a few. They had numerous charges against us and threatened
to charge everyone with treason. They tracked the shell
companies. They tracked the illegal campaign contributions
and donors, misspending, and embezzling. My father
couldn't bear to think of losing everything. He decided to
cooperate at the end, but he had lost it long before
then."
380
"Lost what?"
"His mind and his behavior was extremely erratic and

uncontrollable. We never knew what he was going to say or
do. He'd think up a new scheme to try and buy more time,
then the tweeting would begin another distraction and
scandal to help buy time. He wanted the investigation to
be over and he still wanted to be president. He was torn,
in denial and it was driving him and everyone around him
crazy. Even the attorneys gave up and let him say and do
what he wanted. He would just wander around the White
House at night, looking at the president portraits.
When he saw the investigation and evidence closing in

on him, his mind really started going. He began to think
of himself as Nixon. He was angry and irritable suspecting
everyone around him of being disloyal and always worried
about what the Red General was going to say.
Eventually, they got to the bribes, payoffs, blackmails

and threats of Republican party officials, crooked
politicians, surrogates, businessmen, some paid by my
father and some by donors, some paid with campaign money.
Donors from foreign governments who were interested in

the oil and business deals were uncovered. There was just
too much evidence to dispute and too many connections that
had been made. If the government wanted to, they could
have taken everything our families owned.
We thought we had covered our tracks well, but, we had

made mistakes as had others connected with us. One little
mistake became a "looking glass" into another mistake,
until, the lie was visible to the eye. We had to make a
deal.
381
382
Episode 10
AUNTIE YONNY: The Rise and Fall of Idols
383

Episode 10
AUNTIE YONNY: The Rise and Fall of Idols
Hal was trying hard to wrap his head around all the
details in the tangled web that the Graves had woven in
the White House, but Tanya kept going.
"Everyone thought that The Little King didn't want us

to give in and cooperate with the investigation because he
had his own agenda he was trying to hurry through
Congress, but, the truth was, he knew."
"The Little King?"
"Yes, the Speaker of the House."
"What did he know? Oh, I'm sorry, you mean he KNEW..."
Yes! He knew during the campaign that we were going to

have help beyond the normal type of help. My father's
meeting with him after the primary was to get his
endorsement and make him complicit in the crime to control
him. He told him that he had a surefire, fail-safe way to
win the election and the donors with the money to make it
happen."
384
"Did he mention Russia?"
"He mentioned his Russian business friends helping him

and The Little King said he didn't want to know all of the
details, just make it happen. Of course, my father used
his usual con game to make him see how he would benefit
from endorsing him and not revealing the plan."
"Was money exchanged or a future promise of money?"
"My father always promised to make a deal worthwhile

financially. I'm not sure about what he promised, but, a
bribe wasn't even necessary when it came to The Little
King, he was ambitious and power hungry. He was tired of
Republicans being under Democrats and Liberals. He had a
voracious appetite to chew up Democrats, especially the
Clintons. He drooled at the opportunity to stick it to
people and end social welfare programs. There was
something very cynical about him, very much like my
father."
"So, he helped keep the Republicans on board, putting

party before country?"
"Yes, to the very end, mainly to protect himself and

take credit for passing policies. As I said , he was
ambitious and he wanted another shot at the presidency.
Exposing him would not only remove him from office, but
kill his chances of sitting at the desk in the Oval
Office. My guess is, he had already prevented that from
ever happening, by continuing to support my father."
"And there were others who "knew"?
385
"Of course, the Speaker chose his committee chairmen

over the hearings very carefully and gave specific
instructions on how they were to be conducted, postponed,
impeded and concluded. The Republicans in the Senate had
their instructions from their committee chair also. We
thought we had it all wrapped up. "
"So, without the independent committee and special

counsel, the hearings would have gone nowhere?"
"That was the plan, but, the Boy Scout put an end to
that when he infused that memo, proving my father tried to
get him to end the investigation."
"Wow! The Republicans really weren't in control because

their leaders were compromised working for Graves, who was
working for the Russians.
Tell me, what role did Aaron Buoy really play in the
campaign?"
"Oh, my goodness! Aaron Buoy just kept making things

worse for himself and everyone else. The Russians were
having fun with him. They had strings on him like a puppet
and liked to see him dance on television, making a fool of
himself.
He started out as a courier delivering Putin's foreign

policy agenda to the campaign and overseeing its delivery
to the crowd and how it was being received. He didn't have
a continuing role, but he had a big role to make sure
supporters were warming up to Russia and Russia's desired
foreign policy and position for the United States. Policy
that would keep us out of Russia's way and weaken our
386
global standing as a powerful nation willing to help other

nations. We were to stick to America first, except in
regards to our relationship with Russia and their foreign
interests.
Aaron Buoy did his part, then, continued to entertain

the Russians. We probably would have kept him on, but, he
was Putin's stooge in Russia, the Feds knew that, and he
had a habit of making himself too obvious."
"Now, on the day that the Deputy Attorney General

appointed special counsel, your father gave a commencement
speech."
"For the Coast Guard graduates."
"Yes. Couldn't they tell that there was something wrong

with him by the way he was talking? I mean, it wasn't your
usual commencement speech. He always found a way to make
everything about him. He said that no other politician had
ever been treated worse than he had in the history of the
United States. Did he forget about how he treated
President Obama, or, was it that he was just that
prejudice and... and...and...
"Evil...ignorant?"
"...well, was it that he didn't care? Did he have any

conscious at all or was he just that sick?"
"I'm sure most people would say all of the above. I

believe that clinging to his ignorance and pride was his
sickness that kept him in darkness. He loved what and
387
where his ignorance and pride got him in life, so, to him,
it was brilliance.
As you know, my father was not the Mad Hatter's first

choice of candidate to endorse to push his agenda.
However, when the Mad Hatter's people surveyed America for
the political climate and found that there were unheard
and unrepresented people who needed a voice, they realized
that a portion of these people had the same sickness,
along with fear, anger and frustration. They capitalized
upon it enough to help the Russian's steal the presidency.
The crowds of people made my father feel like he fit

in. He was like a child, always wanting attention and it
only got worse. The only thing that was important to him
besides his schemes to get money, was feeling important,
admired and smart and the crowds gave him that. They
treated him as if he was their savior and he felt like a
god."
388
Chapter 13
ABUNDANT LIFE:
THE POWER OF A VOICE
389
As I write this, I am speaking to your mind and heart.

As I write this, things are changing in the atmosphere,
because, they are words of power through the Holy Spirit.
How these words effect you is determined by the state of
your mind (soul) and heart (spirit). As a result of the
effect, your body may even change: your heart rate; your
posture or body position; and your mood may effect the
chemistry of your body.
Your spirit may be lifted. Your soul might become

convicted; all because of words you read upon a page,
which may only exist as a temporary image.
Yet, you hear a voice in your head. You can even adjust
what it sounds like, if you wish. It can be male or
female. If you are inclined to, you can give it an age,
dialect or ethnic accent. It is all up to you. I have no
control over that, unless I suggest or give specific
instructions as to how you are to hear the words, but,
even then, it stands within your ability to meet that
criteria. In that aspect, I am at your mercy, so, read as
you will.
Your choice is applicable to you and matters in that it

is relevant to you. I am only a voice in your head. So, I
pray that my words travel and have long life and are
fruitful, grow and increase. I pray that they show you how
effective words are and how we must choose them carefully.
And, if my words travel within you, I pray that they reach
your heart. Still, Dear Father in Heaven, please don't let
them get stuck there! I pray that these words are exuded
from your heart and given to another to show the power of
words.
390
I have only wished to be kind with these words. A voice

to let you know I am here. I can remain here, if you place
me in your heart; for your heart will record them and
God's Holy Spirit can bring them back to memory to remind
you that I am here with you. This is why I have chosen
kind words to comfort you. I am speaking softly to you. I
want you to remember me. I am gentle, but not weak. I am
loving and seeking to share that love. That's why I
travel--a voice--but, not just any voice.
Within me are years of pain and hardship, but, God grew

me. Some thought that I had no meaning, but God knew me.
Now, He uses me to be His voice.
Oh, I am filled with joy and gladness for having found

my identity in Christ! I used to be a voice pretending to
be another! Sometimes I didn't know who I was! So my words
had no meaning!
I got lost in darkness! Oh, it was so, so, so dark!

Then, I heard another voice calling me and something
within me was drawn to it. I reached out in the darkness
because I saw a glimmer of Light! I began to gravitate
towards it! I could feel myself changing into something
else that I couldn't EXPLAIN! OH, AND SOMETHING, SOMEONE
IN THE LIGHT GRABBED MY HAND AND PULLED ME UPWARDS! And as
I was lifted, the darkness was shed like a heavy weight
that had been holding me down and I felt so much lighter
AS IF I WAS FLYING, yes...it was as if I was flying.
I could see the Light, but, it was so bright, I wanted

to turn away, since I had been in the darkness for so
long. But, the Light began to shed upon me, glowing upon
my hand. Frightened, I started to resist, trying to pull
391
my hand away, but, the LIGHT WOULDN'T LET GO OF ME, IT

HELD ON EVEN TIGHTER!
Then, a voice told me not to be afraid. That

VOICE...that voice...OH, THAT VOICE AND THOSE WORDS! I can
only describe them as Peace. But, not peace as I had ever
known it--as I thought I knew it. That spoken peace GAVE
me peace and I surrendered to His Will and let Him have
His Way.
Then, the Light began to permeate through my body and

traveled to my heart and my spirit was ILLUMINATED! I
BEGAN TO GLOW, OOOOH, my, my. NOW I COULD SEE AND I COULD
SEE HIM WITHIN THE LIGHT! He was like me. No, that's not
right, I was like Him!
Suddenly, I knew who I was, who I belonged to and where

I wanted to stay! IN THE LIGHT! IN THE LIGHT! I WANT TO
REST IN THE LIGHT OF MY LORD! FOREVER AND EVER! No more
darkness within. No, that's not who I am; that's not where
I belong.
So, here I am, for now, a voice in your head. You

see...I do a lot of traveling. I stop wherever I'm
welcome. You know...wherever I can find someone with ears
to hear or an inquisitive or curious mind to plant a
memory to grow.
But, I'll stay, that is, if you wish. I have the

ability to be in many places. Right now, I'm waiting to
travel a little further within you, deeper, hoping to end
up in your heart. That's just another way I get around to
share the Light.
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We can be a voice together, just like me and my Lord.

Your voice, written and spoken, can change the atmosphere.
It has power to travel and change hearts and lives. Your
voice united with God can lead others to ABUNDANT LIFE!
Here you are, right now. Through my voice, God's Light,

Jesus, is shining down upon you to permeate and rest in
your heart. How you accept Him, how you surrender to Him,
determines TODAY, how you will use YOUR voice.
393
Episode 11
AUNTIE YONNY: The Desperate Betrayal
394

Episode 11
AUNTIE YONNY: The Desperate Betrayal
Tanya began to close her eyes and droop her head a

little; a clear sign that she was beginning to tire, but,
Hal wanted to get in a few more questions. Feeling guilty
about his motives, he asked her if she wanted to stop.
"Would you like to stop now, Mrs. Yanovich?"
"No, no, I'll have plenty of time to rest, later. We

must go on."
There was an urgency in Tanya's voice that prompted Hal

to continue.
"So, what made General Red Descendant finally crack

open?"
"His options were running out. There were too many

leaks that revealed too much information. Soon, he
wouldn't have any leverage to buy him anything and he knew
that others would try to throw all the blame on him."
"Your husband was taking a lot of heat. The FBI had a

lot of evidence on him to put him away. Did you want him
to give your father up? Was he that loyal to him?"
395
"It caused a lot of tension in our marriage. Some days,

we barely spoke. John accused me of choosing my father
over him and I told him that it was unfair. How was I
supposed to choose? How was I to abandon and betray my
father?"
"Did you choose? John could have ended everything and

asked for immunity, which would have worked out better for
the both of you. Instead, of leaving a question open that
drove a wedge between the two of you, you could have
affirmed your love for him, your children's father and
your marriage. Instead, you did nothing."
In opposition,Tanya sat up abruptly in bed, trying to

raise her voice defiantly at Hal.
"I DID DO SOMETHING! I did do something!"
Tanya fell back against the mattress, exhausted. Hal

could tell that she had over exerted herself and it had
taken all of her strength to rebut the insulting
accusations he had hurled as a tactic to elicit a
spontaneous response; a method often used during
interrogation. He knew he had gone too far.
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Yanovich. I shouldn't have said that.

I apologize. Please relax. Can I, can I get something or
someone for you?"
"No...no...I'm...no...just...just give me...give me a

minute. I did do something. I did do something."
396
Tears began to flow from Tanya's eyes. Hal hurriedly

grabbed a wad of tissues, then, nervously and gingerly
began dabbing tears from her small, wrinkly face. However,
the tears kept flowing.
"I...betrayed...I betrayed...my father. I helped leak

information. I couldn't take it anymore. I just wanted it
to be over. I wanted my life...our life back...but...John
said that I had betrayed him, too."
Hal was shocked and he didn't know what to say. As a

journalist there were tons of questions he could ask at
this time, but as a human being and a compassionate person
with feelings for others in pain, he could not bring
himself to press and push the conversation further. That
wasn't what was needed at this time. He was moved to take
Tanya's hand in his and hold it gently, rubbing it
consolingly with the other hand.
The two just sat there quietly in silent agreement to

allow their shared empathy, affection, and the power God
manifests through sharing hearts during the span of
defining time, heal and swallow up the pain.
397
Episode 12
AUNTIE YONNY: THE WAR ROOM
398

Episode 12
AUNTIE YONNY: THE WAR ROOM
Minutes went by. Hal had been watching the clock, not
knowing what he was waiting for, then, he decided to look
out of the window from where he sat. The color of the
atmosphere appeared to change to a mellowing shade of
peace, he thought. Tanya's hand had become still and limp,
no longer trembling and red from the strain of a shattered
heart.
He looked over at Tanya and felt relief because she had

drifted off to sleep. Her labored breathing looked like
death tugging and pulling, trying to sever her from her
body and the world. Hal could tell that her weak frame was
fighting back with each pull to stay alive.
Flashbacks of his grandfather's last struggling moments

made him remember the pain Tanya Graves and her family had
inflicted upon his family. Grandpa Siegfried would
reminisce about the past. He talked about sitting at his
wife's (Hal's grandmother's) bedside and holding her hand
before she died of injuries from gunshot wounds.
Hal's stomach began to twist into knots and tears

welled up in his eyes. His grandmother had been shot
multiple times as she was trying to escape the crossfire
between The New Alternative Republicans Militia (NARM),
The People's Republic of the United States Armed Forces
(PRUSAF), local law enforcement agencies and the divided
399
U.S. government armed forces.
It was the first day of the civil war and there was
chaos everywhere. No one knew who was on one side or the
other. Those looking to harm others or take advantage of
the situation, roamed and ran the streets, while everyone
else was just trying to stay alive.
NARM and PRUSAF were calling for everyone loyal to

President Graves to take up arms and kill any liberal,
democrat, independent, or republican who stood in their
way. People who never should have had guns to begin with,
were happy to oblige. An angry and vindictive Graves,
wanting to punish everyone who called for his impeachment,
did nothing to stop them.
White Supremacists had a field day killing minorities,

Blacks, Jews, and those of various ethnicity and
religions. Synagogues, mosques, and churches were burned.
Rioting, looting, robbery, arson, massive destruction of
property, rape, lynchings, assault and all manner of
heinous and unspeakable crimes and acts were committed.
Hospitals were over-crowded and understaffed.

Ambulances and emergency vehicles were unable to get
through or were stopped and vandalized, becoming
inoperable. Women and children were killed and burned to
death for no other reason than that someone took pleasure
in doing so.
Law enforcement was unable to contain the fighting

which broke out all over. The National Guard and military
was broken and divided. All too conveniently, Graves had
deployed many troops to various war zones abroad.
400
The War Room had been just that--a place to concoct

lies and schemes to instigate civil war or the threat of
civil war, in order to rally Graves' base supporters to
keep him in office.
Hal shook his head thinking, "What kind of twisted,

greedy, depraved minds could purposely take advantage of
the minds of poor people putting their faith in them to
bring them out of poverty, misery and despair? The lives
of the people meant absolutely nothing to them. They could
care less who was injured, maimed, killed, orphaned,
widowed, imprisoned, robbed or ruined forever. They just
wanted to use people for their own benefit."
Then he realized his question was an answer in itself.

These plotters and schemers had completely lost their
minds to darkness. They no longer cared about the truth
because, having given themselves over to darkness, there
was no longer any truth in them.
"There are animals which prey on and feed off of the

weak," he said to himself. "When we give in to evil and
darkness, we give up that part of our humanity that makes
us like God--our spirit. Those lost souls were filled with
darkness, blinded beyond seeing any light.
He wondered, had Tanya managed to hang on to some of

her humanity, or, like her father, was this all part of
her reality show?"
The thought of them plotting in the War Room to deceive

people sickened Hal, but, he couldn't help thinking about
it.
401
"They disputed the truth calling it "fake news" and put

out their so-called "alternative facts," which were
nothing but lies to add to their cover-up."
Hal began to think about some of the lies, pranks and

cover-ups he'd taken pleasure in. All of a sudden they
didn't seem so funny or witty. Why had it been so easy for
him at the time, but, now, he regretted doing it? Did he
want to be someone who manipulated people and provoked
them to anger, fear, pride, violence and vengeance? His
mind continued to rewind the path of history, while his
heart strove to analyze it.
"Manipulation can be unpredictable and people often get

hurt," he told himself. "History showed us how easily the
supporters in Graves' base had been manipulated and
instilled with fear, which led them to threaten violence
if Graves was not elected. The War Room Manipulators knew
that instilling fear of Graves' impeachment would keep
them in fear mode; fear of losing the chance for Graves to
fulfill his promises to them; fear and hatred of people
who were different from them, fear of losing a dominant
and predominantly white society, and so on.
They needed someone and something to lash out at and

punish. The War Room Manipulators had to renew a threat of
violence and huge losses of votes at the polls for
Republicans. Then, Republican lawmakers would be too
afraid to act against Graves or abandon their support for
him. They would find a way to invalidate the congressional
hearings. Nobody would believe a thing they accused them
of doing. They would see it as a "hoax" and "witch hunt"
carried out by the disgruntled Democrats. The Republicans
would continue to lie and cover-up for Graves and his
staff as long as the base was riled up.
402
Graves' sons, son-in-law, Devin Monroe and the Chief of

Staff were certain no Republican official would dare
suggest, support, or vote on Graves' impeachment. The plan
had to succeed because they needed more time to complete
their agenda and goals for themselves and the Russians.
However, they didn't expect it to be carried out to the
extent that it was."
Hal stopped and stared at Tanya, wondering if she had

stood with them in the War Room, helping to conceive that
wicked plot.
"And as a result of the plot-gone-wild, NARM and PRUSAF

took over Congress and made the White House their fortress
and headquarters. Their goal was to wipe out the enemy,
but, in-fighting over who was in control often meant that
the enemy was whoever you chose to label as the enemy that
day.
I guess I'd be a goner, because the media was their

first target. A whole lot of journalists were brutally
murdered. Democratic Representatives and Senators who
couldn't get out of Washington were hunted down and
assassinated. No reporter dared to venture out to try and
cover the carnage taking place, unless they were approved
and accompanied by a NARM or PRUSAF soldier.
All major networks and newspapers had been shut down

except for the network which supported Graves throughout
his campaign and presidency, then, it officially became
government operated. I wonder what that was like. I
wouldn't have lasted working there. I'm too outspoken.
Man, due to the breakdown in communication, no one really
knew what was going on, even the NARM and PRUSAF! What
403
chaos!"
Hal's grandfather had told him about the first day of

the civil war often. The plan to rally the Base had been
well thought out in the War Room; a plan devised to poison
the minds of the people with fear and hatred to the point
that they would do anything, even give their own lives to
keep Graves in office.
Yet, unbeknownst to the so-called populists, what they

were really fighting for was the right to keep money and
power flowing into the pockets of Putin, Graves, and their
billionaire friends.
Fighting went on for months. A few states began to talk

about seceding and forming their own country. Russian
propaganda was disseminated throughout the country and
people began to fear Russian invasion.
Graves began to run the country as a dictator and none

of his enemies were spared punishment. He used his power
to take advantage of even greater business opportunities,
taking control and possession of businesses and
institutions which were to his liking.
The true enemy began to reveal himself from the Oval

Office, as he finally gained the power that he had sought
all along. He used every means possible to restore order,
oppressing, killing and imprisoning the very same people
who had aided his rise to supreme ruler. He used those
most loyal of his base supporters to suppress and punish
others.
Russia finally came out in the open as co-conspirators.
404
They boldly ran a muck here and abroad, expanding their

territory.
Hal continued to think about the course of history and

knew if he was going to retell this story, he was going to
have to fill in the blanks and give the readers something
new.
Disillusionment soon set in, to no avail, for so did

the reality of living under a dictatorship. Then, people
were ready to fight for a different reason and a new
government.
News soon spread that North Korea had dropped a nuclear

bomb and declared war on South Korea. They were heavily
engaged in war with the U. S., South Korea, and China.
Slowly, the fighting at home in the U.S. began to die

down as people were in need of basic necessities. Signs
were posted for jobs to work for the government, aid the
war effort and to enlist in the armed forces. Although the
country was still somewhat divided, people soon found a
common enemy, in the North Koreans, to hate, fight and
occupy their time. The media went to work covering the
ongoing war and putting a communication system back
together.
Underground movements for democracy and peace gained

strength and became a resounding voice across the nation.
The largest and most effective organization was
T.R.U.T.H.H. (Truth Raises Us To Honor and Humility). They
boldly took truth to the streets, highways and byways in
the face of adversity and violence. Their message was more
to make people aware of who they were themselves, their
value in America, capabilities and self-worth.
405
They diverted the negative effects of nationalism and

people feeling left out and replaced them with diversity
and positive action. They were like a traveling United
Nations dispersing provisions that were being traded
between communities. They fathered and nurtured the
Communities Adopting Communities to Rebuild (CACR)
Program, spurring the Period of Restoration.
They helped replace fear with trust and hatred with

understanding and tolerance. They empowered and trained
people to start their own programs, such as: neighbors
sending provisions to neighbors; diversity training;
cultural exchange; apprenticeships and on the job
training. They helped to start small businesses, rebuild
schools and place people in jobs.
By being in direct contact with the people, they became

a powerful political voice and a new party in strong
competition with Republicans, who had lost all
credibility, thanks to Graves.
Soon, unable to gain support from former supporters,

who had been violently abused, misused and oppressed,
Graves was forced out of office.
Surrounded and outnumbered by heavy artillery and

legitimate government forces, NARM and PRUSAF surrendered
and were forbidden to own and carry weapons.
"And here I am," Hal sighed, feeling somewhat dismayed,

"holding Graves' daughter's hand; Graves, the man
responsible for my grandmother's brutal murder."
406
A sharp blade of resentment stabbed at Hal's heart and

he brushed a bitter tear from his cheek with his shirt
sleeve.
Hal thought about how his grandfather would choke up

with tears in his eyes each time he recounted the first
day of the second civil war.
"Gramps said he would never forget that day. How could

he? Like many who lost loved ones, he had good reason to
remember it very clearly."
Hal recalled the pictures he was often shown by his

father of the beautiful grandmother he never knew, the
mother his father grew up without, and the wife his
Grandpa Siegfried missed up to the day he died.
"On the second day of the war, Grandpa Siegfried,

prepared to bury his wife and signed up to fight Graves'
Regime. What would he think of his grandson working for
the Graves family, now, and holding Tanya Graves' hand?
And Rachel, who had lost family too, will she still think
highly of me as a journalist? Can she ever love me?
But, wouldn't Rachel do the same thing if she was in my

situation? Then, again, Rachel is too smart and level-
headed to get into my situation. Still, I know she'd have
compassion for a dying woman, no matter what she had
done."
He returned to looking long and hard at Tanya,

thinking, "One day, it will be my turn. I'll be lying
there waiting for death. Who will hold my hand and forgive
all my sins and trespasses?
407
The world never forgave Willard Maynard Graves, but,

they allowed him to die in freedom and peace. It hardly
seemed fair, but, was it right? He was imprisoned until he
became very ill, then, he was released into the care of
his family, until he died. Like Tanya, he had held on to
life much longer than any thought he would and longer than
most begrudgingly wished. No doubt, like Tanya, he had the
best medical care and died very peacefully."
Hal looked at Tanya, remembering what had taken place

earlier and had to rethink his last thought. Tanya didn't
have a clear conscious and was tormented with some of the
things she had done and the life she had led. She hadn't
forgiven herself. If this was any indication of the stages
of dying, perhaps, just perhaps, if Graves was in touch
with his conscious, he too was tormented.
"What?! What am I saying? Am I so bitter that I'd wish

somebody to be tormented and in pain? But, Graves wasn't
just somebody. He was like the Grim Reaper in the flesh."
Hal covered his mouth as if he had spoken out loud.

Looking at Tanya, he felt pity for her having such a
miserable father. How could she still love him after all
that he had done? He thought about how he and most
children feel about their mother or father.
"But, everybody doesn't have a father as narcissistic

and maniacal as Willard Maynard Graves. Still, it's not
right. It's just not right," Hal decided. "Hating and
being bitter makes me no better them Graves and those who
pushed his hateful rhetoric. Perhaps, I've been carrying
around my own War Room inside of my heart."
408
He looked out of the window again at the peaceful sky

and decided it was time to redecorate the room inside of
his heart, but, first he needed to remove all the clutter.
Miriam walked in the door. Hal quickly placed Tanya's

hand at her side and whispered to Miriam.
"She's asleep. She really needed it. She had a rough

morning thinking about some painful memories."
"Oh my, I don't know why she's doing this to herself,

but, I guess she has to get it out of her system. Well, we
better let her rest. Let's go talk in the other room."
Hal rose to follow Miriam, hesitated a moment, then,

turned and covered Tanya's arms and tucked her in.
409
Chapter 14
THE BLIND
410
Memorial Day has passed and in defense of fallen

Southern Confederate Soldiers and in an effort to preserve
historical statues of the Confederacy, many have cried
out, "This is part of our (America's) history, too!"
We must stop to ascertain the proprietary intent in

claiming ownership to this side of American History, at
this present time; for indeed, it is of great importance
and significance. Also, does the person truly know and
understand the history to which they claim ownership?
Anyone who claims to know or believe in God should have

a basic understanding of Biblical History, which is also
"our" history, in order to properly assess contemporary or
national history. History is not simply the documentation
of events, but, a complete analysis of who, what, why,
when, and where an event occurred, with an implied intent
to emphasize that we acknowledge history so that we learn
from our past to improve our future.
Thus, it is important for one to know in "our" history,

why the golden calf had to be destroyed and should never
have been built. If one can then understand the error,
then, it becomes apparent to why the error must be
corrected.
For those wishing to hold on to and maintain the error,

is it that they really care about history or rather more,
to continue clinging to that past which represents their
present and their hoped and intended future for the entire
nation? Therefore, the error is never erased.
411
Is it that they wish to ease their guilt and no longer

be deemed a deviant in society, or have to suppress their
anger, frustration, and hatred toward sharing a country
and a world with those they discriminate against and
loathe?
Yes, Confederate History is part of America's history

and should never be forgotten. We should always teach the
truth about our history. However, should we honor and
glorify the lives of those who die fighting for unjust
causes? Do we celebrate the bad part of our history as if
we should lovingly embrace it?
It is productive and positive to embrace the good that

comes from learning truth and correcting our mistakes. As
for the lives that are lost fighting for an ill or unjust
cause, should we decorate their graves with symbols of
their blindness, believing we are honoring them? We must
truly evaluate what those symbols stood for and
represented at the time.
A statue is not a life, yet, it should be regarded as a

representation of the truth which nurtures and sustains
life, if it is to be a visual reminder of man's
accomplishments, achievements, milestones, landmarks,
overcoming his past failures, and celebrating his
victories.
We do ourselves a disservice to lift up, memorialize,

or idolize those people and things which have led us into
darkness, division, death and despair. We might as well
erect a pillar to represent darkness and evil and worship
it as men worshiped idols in the past.
If we are seeking or living in abundant life, then, ALL
412
that we do is for the GLORIFICATION OF GOD! We must ask

ourselves if we are trying to defend that which glorifies
self and darkness? How does the cause of the Confederacy
glorify God, who is Truth, upholding his precepts and
principles? How does God view these earthly images and
matters which are of concern to us? What does He see in
our hearts? Are we putting self and the world before Him?
So, then, how can we justify honoring Southern

Confederate Civil War Soldiers as war heroes or placing
Confederate flags upon their graves?
To honor a life is to honor manifested fruitfulness:

love; truth; peace; provision; rest, and equality. Our
honor must be Fruitful, whether it be exuded through our
behavior or, as a physical token of our esteem, which has
been manifested through us from God.
Fruitfulness is borne of truth, to be upheld, just as

we honor and obey our parents. This is commanded of us by
God to keep us in TRUTH, RIGHTEOUSNESS and HOLINESS!
So, it is also for the dead. To honor them is to remain

in TRUTH, RIGHTEOUSNESS and HOLINESS, producing good fruit
ATTACHED to The Vine!
The cause and fight of the Confederacy was based on a

LIE! They did not believe in FREEDOM and JUSTICE FOR ALL!
There was no honor of God and Truth in their cause. There
was no holiness....no righteousness. Slavery was neither
good for man, nor good for the nation! It was pure EVIL!
Just because they chose to believe in the cause and die
for the cause does not make it honorable!
413
To take pride in those who died for this CAUSE is to

become a part of that evil and that lie! We can't have it
BOTH WAYS! When we try to taint honor it also becomes a
lie and dishonorable.
No, if we are to honor our fellowman who has died upon

the battlefield in vain for an unjust cause, we must
forgive their blindness, forgive our nation, and give them
peace and rest through TRUTH!
Our nation has a flag which is supposed to represent

"Truth marching on." Truth marching forward into the
future in victory and not backward to revive a failed and
misconceived past. It represents the truth and unity that
came about and was ESTABLISHED as a result of ALL fallen
soldiers having given their lives in a war to achieve and
celebrate living in UNITY, not division, discrimination
and separatism.
The political climate in our nation today has been

chilled by those LOOKING BACKWARD instead of LOOKING
FORWARD. They say that they want change in the nation,
but, that change must look like the PAST.
However, God did not create things to be so. We cannot

stop, change, rewind, or repeat time. Everything has a
season and a purpose, even people, leaders, nations,
ideas, rituals, and philosophy. But, God is never
changing. Therefore, if we are holding to his Hand,
walking in His Light, we aren't caught up in isms and
schisms, drowning in lies and darkness afraid to move on
to the future and afraid to live in the Light.
Change becomes necessary to our GROWTH, clear and

welcome. We are not AFRAID or DISMAYED whatever betide,
414
for we rest on God's promises that He will take care of

us. The adversary cannot confuse us or lead us astray, for
we cling to The Rock, and our soul is ANCHORED in the
Lord.
Partisanship has placed a WHOLE in the heart of America

and many Americans! They are blinded to TRUTH because they
choose to leave God out of politics in order to be free to
HARDEN THEIR HEARTS and place BLAME upon the self-
proclaimed enemy!
The true enemy is making fools of men, having them say

and do things without rationale or justification! People
are acting out of PRIDE and SELF to boost their own egos,
and carry out their own justice, caring nothing about
their brother.
The adversary has staged a giant puppet show with blind

puppets bumping into and tripping over themselves, because
ignorance is their guide. This is a sign of the times,
because MEN NO LONGER WANT TO KNOW GOD and have a
relationship with Him. They believe they have knowledge
and wisdom, technology and the ability to distort,
manipulate, change and bend the truth. For all their self-
driven intentions and purposes, God is dead, not a threat,
inconsequential, or a tool for their use.
The Blind leading the blind today are certainly afraid

to step into the Light in fear of being exposed! Their
life is a lie! Yet, their greed and fear is REAL because
they have no relationship with God to come to know Him and
become like Him.
For those who are awake and able to see, God is ALIVE
and does not lead men into darkness, nor will he cause us
415
to stumble and fall.
Some things have not changed and one crippling constant

is the fact that men continue to worship RELIGION instead
of worshiping God in Spirit and Truth. Some wear religion
as a removable hat, while others grope around in the dark
shadow of unbelief.
Is it no wonder that many Americans are steeped in

prejudice, bigotry, greed, selfishness, and all manner of
darkness, just as it is no wonder they have chosen to
elect a blind leader to lead them out of darkness?
It was Jesus who came to SHINE THE LIGHT, not men like
Putin and Trump! AMERICA! MY COUNTRY' TIS OF THEE! Sweet
land of liberty? The BELL has stopped ringing!!! Freedom
and Democracy stand on the brink of destruction if you do
not act with conviction to blot out the stains upon your
history and embrace a new era of enlightenment in the Will
and Way of God!
Jesus came to shine the LIGHT! But, men with hardened

hearts and deaf ears still cannot see.
There is another way!!! For those who are not led by

their pride...COME! FOLLOW!!!
JESUS, The Truth, The Way, and the Life came to show us
ANOTHER WAY! Yet, the pride of the Pharisee and Sadducee
kept them worried about someone being seen as HOLIER, MORE
POPULAR, and MORE REVERED THAN THEM! They wanted to be
EXCLUSIVE instead of INCLUSIVE; even to continue to stay
ISOLATED from the gentiles. Yet, that was not God's plan.
The adversary allowed their ignorance, selfishness, and
416
pride to blind and deceive their hearts.
God may start with a few sheep, but, He plans to bring

other sheep into the fold to INCREASE THE KINGDOM; and
nobody can tell Him how, when, or not to do this.
Those who are busy counting candy-filled jars, as if

they are PEOPLE, leaving GOD out of the equation better
take HEED, for God has His own list of real people who
WILL BE COUNTED OUT at the end and condemned to eternal
damnation. We cannot count others out and ban them from
what BELONGS TO GOD!
That you were born into this world was A MIRACLE of

God! He could have looked at the capacity of the world,
the capacity of your nation, the capacity of your family,
and said what they told His Son at the inn, "NO MORE
ROOM!" God could have allowed for you to be spontaneously
ABORTED, VANQUISHED, a dream that never came into
fruition, or never a thought.
He could have looked at the color of your skin or your

parent's finances, circumstances, marriage status,
religion or lack of holiness, righteousness, or love for
their brother and said, "NO!" And you would never have
been born, but, God is MERCIFUL!
Do you really KNOW about history? Do you really KNOW

GOD?! Or, are you playing a game along with the adversary
who says, "This is how " I " want things to be?"
Where is your RELATIONSHIP with God? Where is your

HOLINESS and RIGHTEOUSNESS? Where is the love of God
within you?
417
Men like the Pharisee and Sadducee could not see that
man cannot be HOLY without being ONE with God, therefore,
one must be CONNECTED in a RELATIONSHIP with God!
Jesus came to guide us into a RELATIONSHIP with GOD, by

which we become ONE and made WHOLE. Our obedience to His
Word comes through LIVING inside, resting, and ABIDING in
His Word, thereby, becoming HOLY through Him. There is no
uniting with God to become holier, or becoming holier on
ones own. There is no holier than thou. There is only
ANOTHER WAY THROUGH JESUS CHRIST!!! HE who JUSTIFIES us,
increases our faith and leads us to the throne of MERCY!
Don't get caught up in Satan's ploy to keep you

ignorant and blind, destroying not only yourself, but,
those around you, as well as your community and nation. We
must create an environment where ALL the sheep, of ALL
varieties, are safe and can thrive.
Many cannot accept the mistakes we have made in our

country because they cannot separate themselves from the
color of their skin and an allegiance to an ideology that
supports them remaining in the FLESH. They claim to
support and honor a faith or religion that they really do
not know or follow. They break every commandment of God
for the sake of self, race and political party. They put
man above God and give no credence to being their
brother's keeper. They claim to stand for God and country
while wholly supporting racist, bigoted lies and
traitorous men whose goal is to work with our enemy to
destroy our country.
Yes, Trump and Bannon's angry, misguided goal is to

RUIN, and destroy our institutions and the United States
418
of America to create an alternate society; one based on

intolerance of others and constant lies. They can't get
past their prejudiced, hardened and blackened hearts to
see the TRUTH. Their blinded supporters cannot see a blind
madman keeping them in darkness!
Instead, they focus on who exposed the traitor's

traitorous plot! They would rather our nation be run by
traitors and spies as long as their party is supposedly in
control. They don't care how corrupt, ignorant or inept
the president is as long as he pretends to represent their
party to give them power. They don't care how much damage
he does as long as he represents their party! Oh, but,
they are devout men of God! They claim to praise and know
Him, but, DOES GOD KNOW THEM?!
They prove that they lack ONE THING! They have not been
made perfect in LOVE, because...because...they have NO
RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD!
Tell me, just because MEN decide to keep God out of

politics, does that mean God agrees, so, he doesn't care
about our political views? So, when we vote, we don't have
to care about what happens to our brothers? Then, we can
go to church and pretend to have a love fest with people
who agree with us and who are like us, right? But, that's
really not hypocrisy is it? We're still living in TRUTH,
right? No?
Then, tell me, what is happening in our nation when

others around the world can see the disturbing truth about
what is going on in America, but those republicans and
supporters still backing a corrupt and unfit president
believe he, his family and staff, and they are VICTIMS?
419
Are they living in an alternate universe where things

are reversed?
Will they still be crying, "THIS IS MY COUNTRY, GET

OUT, when Jesus leads the charge for the last battle and
claims His Kingdom?!--When He unites, Whites, Blacks,
Asians, Hispanics, Indigenous People, Jews, Christians,
Muslims, etc.? Will they see any different then, from now?
Can they claim forever that which was ill-begotten,

stolen and obtained by murdering, conniving and lying? Oh,
but, I've forgotten, we're supposed to forget about that
now, just like slavery. Those Native people have been
relocated on reservations, out of sight and out of mind,
with most of them living in poverty. But, isn't that part
of our history?
Where are the monuments, statues and flags and sympathy

for the cavalry soldiers who murdered, scalped, beheaded,
raped, burned, looted, hung, spread plagues, killed
buffalo to starve human beings and commit genocide? It is
part of our history. Yet, should we continue to live it
and honor it, or should we learn from it and look to
improve the future, TOGETHER, as the United States of
America; a strong democracy, because it is a country
filled with DIVERSITY?
There are people in this nation trying to resurrect the

past because it serves their self-interests. The common
people, or populists aren't going to get rich off of their
scheme.
However, time moves on and that is beyond anyone's

control. It will move on with us or without us. You can
bury your head in the sand or try to fight it, but, Time
420
gets its orders from God and even the winds and waves obey
His Will.
Is there anyone whose arms are not too short to box

with God, or whose feet will not perish kicking against
the goad?
If you choose to move on with time, make sure you know

where you are headed. Follow Jesus to His Father's heart.
Your Heavenly Father wants to have a relationship with you
that will remove all of your doubts and fears. He will
take you beyond depending on this world to give your life
meaning and give you abundant and eternal life.
The adversary wants to steal God's promise to you, but,

he can't. It's yours for the taking, when you truly follow
Jesus and learn to have a relationship with God. There is
a better way. Instead of being led by the blind, God wants
to empower YOU to lead others to follow Yeshua.
We who have an eternity ahead of us have a choice to

make also, as long as we are living on this Earth. Will we
be silent? Will we allow the wolf to come and devour the
sheep? Will we take up the cross and shine the Light,
showing others that there is another way and a better way?
Within your abundant life God's Holy Spirit lives

within you waiting to manifest His Fruit. His fruits are
part of His Kingdom and serve to glorify God and increase
the Kingdom. If you try to suppress and inhibit what lies
within you, returning to the ways of the world, how
grieved His Holy Spirit will be. You will not be living in
abundance.
421
The enemy never ceases to try and distract and lead us

astray, pulling us back into the world to be OF the world.
Know your history. Know what you are truly asking for when
you ask to walk with Jesus and share His Kingdom. If you
are truly seeking to live in abundance, seek to know God.
My Brothers and Sisters, our Peace (Jesus) be with you!

Be Blessed. Be Well. Be Connected to God.
America! Humble yourself, Repent, Pray, Seek His Face

and He will heal our land.
mishael
422
from the Heart of a Transformed Woman
Episode 13
AUNTIE YONNY:
HONEST AND UNFILTERED
423

Episode 13
AUNTIE YONNY:
HONEST AND UNFILTERED
Having unknowingly drifted off to sleep, Tanya found

herself back in the White House. It was the night before
the ex-FBI Director's testimony in the congressional
hearings. The atmosphere in the White House was tense and
stifling. She felt her rib cage and chest tightening
around her. Each breath caused her to feel the nervousness
and anxiety as the air passed through her windpipe,
settling in her lungs.
Anxiety gripped the pit of her stomach and hung in her

throat. Having butterflies could not describe the
miserable feeling she was experiencing. No, there was no
beauty or gracefulness mixed within the grinding,
wrenching feeling that strove to steal each breath and
bring her to her knees.
She walked through the White House hallways with ease

and suddenly became aware that no one stopped her or
noticed her. It was as if no one could see her.
Down several hallways, reporters were interviewing

Republicans. She didn't know how she knew, but, she knew
that they were interviewing as many Republicans as
possible to catch them in the act of lying on camera,
424
trying to defend her father's indefensible texted

statements and irrational behavior. Some seemed more than
happy to do their part for the cause, being too arrogant
and blind to see or care that their ridiculous
explanations and lies would be used against them in the
coming elections.
She wasn't particularly keen on saving them, but, she

knew, that for some reason, she had to try, So, she tried
to get their attention and warn them, hoping they would
stop, but the sound that came from within her could not be
heard.
Tanya became furious and frustrated that she was

ignored. She hurried to find her father in the Oval
Office. She pushed pass the security guards and burst into
the office shouting.
"Do you know what you're doing?! Do you know what's

going on out there?! They're getting ready to take ALL of
us down because of YOU! NOBODY ELSE BUT YOU! YOU DID THIS
TO US! YOU AND YOUR...YOUR...DAMN TWEETING HAS DAMNED ALL
OF US! STOP IT!"
As expected, she found him busy lurching over his

cellphone, in his usual texting mode, none too speedy,
but, in one of his few rare moments throughout the day, he
was focused. No doubt, Tanya thought, he was sending out
more irrational statements in an attempt to get a head
start to try to impede and influence the Director's
testimony and how it was perceived by others.
Everyone knew that he had become unhinged and only

listened to the angry and manipulative Devin Monroe and
the corrupt far right Republicans who sought to disrupt
425
the government and the country, but, she had to try to

reach him.
Something terrible was going to happen. Something no

one in the White House wanted to happen, especially, now.
They had been baiting him. They wanted him to text

during the hearing. They were ready for him and he was
going to further incriminate himself and take everyone
else down with him. They would use his honest and
unfiltered presidential statements against him.
This was the Big League and he was an amateur, but, he

was too far gone, too hateful, too vindictive, and too
insane to admit he was in over his head.
Tanya knew her father's behavior was a threat to all of

them. They had tried to protect him, but, there were only
three things that drove him and kept his attention:
hatred; pride; and money. He remained unabashed and
resolute to defend himself at all cost, with no regard to
those around him.
He was certain that if he got through to his base

supporters, they would defend him. He was certain that
Congressional Republicans would stand by him. He
feverishly worked to rally the base, piling lie on top of
lie to discredit the image and reputation of The Boy Scout
Director and the media.
"My base will believe me, no matter what," her father

said.
426
"I SAID STOP! DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID!"
Tanya walked over and tried to snatch the phone from

her father's hand, but, her hands slipped right through
it. She looked at her father and he hadn't been talking to
her. He was talking to himself.
"They're ignorant, gullible people and I'm their HERO!

That's right, I'm their hero."
He laughed and repeated himself.
"Poor, ignorant people, losers. Losers who deserve to

lose, for me to use...losers who can't be helped. But,
they can help Graves. Graves is a winner. Yeah, I'm a
winner."
Tanya noticed her extended hands and they weren't young

like they were when she was in the White House. Suddenly,
she realized that she wasn't able to communicate with or
touch her father. She put her hand on his shoulder.
Continuing to text, he failed to acknowledge her. She
watched him deeply engrossed in texting as if it were a
video game.
"Oh, well," she thought, "it's no different from when

he could hear me. He's so stubborn and arrogant, he never
listens to me, when he should, only when he wants to.
Everything has to be his way and his idea! He truly IS
insane."
She looked at her hands again.

"Am I dead? Or, am I dreaming? If I'm dead, will I
427
always look like this?"
Again, she looked at her father, who appeared to be in

a mad frenzy of texting, clumsily plucking the buttons.
She closed her eyes in disgust, shaking her head.
"OH, HO!" He shouted.
Startled, Tanya opened her eyes.
"They'll NEVER believe that loser! Yeah, that's what he

is...a loser! I'm the PRESIDENT of the United States of
America! He's GONE because of me! I fired him and I'm
STILL president! He thinks he can get rid of GRAVES? We'll
see about that! I've got people, too, and my people
outweigh your people, loser. This Russia thing is gonna
stop. It's been going on for a long period of time, too
long. Nobody's going to vote me out of office. I'm MAYNARD
GRAVES!!! Just WATCH!"
Tanya watched her father's big awkward fingers and

stubby hand fumbling over the tiny buttons to begin
another text. Exasperated, she couldn't watch. Holding her
hands out in front of her, she wondered,
"Is this a test God?"
The door opened and her husband walked in. Her heart
skipped a beat and began to race. If she were dead, she
wondered, why did she feel so alive, still?
"Come on in J. Have a seat. I'm almost finished."
428
John sat down across from his father-in-law, perusing

through some papers and a book, cross-referencing.
"Yeah, Jay, what is it?"
"Putin sent us a message. He said not to worry about

the General, because, they've got him. And, keep texting
and bringing up the Director's mistakes and go real heavy
on fake news and the media as the real enemy.
They're going to flood the internet with misinformation

to bury his testimony and rally the base through Monroe's
website. And, they'll keep the Attorney General and
Republicans talking in your favor with some bait.
BUT, best of all they've got some more leaks to put out
there to blame on the FBI. Nobody, will trust them anymore
or believe what they say about the case. It will all be
lies coming out of there."
Tanya couldn't believe what she was hearing and covered

her face.
"Good Jay. And the Assistant Attorney General and

Special Counsel?"
"He said that this should take care of it, but, they're
still working on another angle. We'll just have to wait
and see. He said to just keep quiet and stay away from the
media. He wants you to cancel that speech after the
testimony."
429
"That little squinty, beady-eyed bastard...

he...he...he just wants to keep us stewing so he can
control us. He doesn't want us to make a move unless he
says so. He thinks we're supposed to keep the door open so
he can walk in anytime he feels like it and tell us what
to do. I'M NO PUPPET!
Putin doesn't run the White House, I do! I'm the

President of this country! He's just a hoodlum...a
thug...and a criminal! I'll show him."
Tanya had never heard her father say anything against

Putin and could tell how much he resented his control.
Still, he strove to be like him. Couldn't he see how much
he liked to control and manipulate people, too?
She watched her father throw some papers around and

have another one of his tantrums. Honest and unfiltered?
His supporters think they're getting the honest and
unfiltered President Graves? She looked at her father
pouting like a child. She knew the world would soon see
the honest and unfiltered Graves, when he and John were
exposed as liars and traitors. Perhaps, she would be, too,
one day.
John got up to leave. She started to call out to him

and follow, then, remembered she was there and at the same
time, she really wasn't there. Her heart sank and she laid
down upon the sofa, hiding her face, crying for what was
to come, yet, feeling that she was already too late.
Maybe, she had really lost John and everything had already
taken place.
Through her muffled cries, she heard a faint, but,

familiar voice calling to her.
430
"Mrs. Yanovich, Mrs. Yanovich. Sorry to wake you."
Xenobia, her nurse, stood over Tanya, gently rubbing

and patting her arm, calling to her, with her heavy
Caribbean Island accent.
" I'm sorry dearie, but, I've got to keep you on

schedule. It's time for your medication and the usual
routine. You've got to wake up, my love. It won't take
long."
431
Chapter 15
Part I
GOOD FRUIT: PREGNANT
"Our being fruitful does not only apply to how

we treat others, but, also, in how we treat
ourselves!"
432
GOOD FRUIT
VS
OVERINDULGENCE AND GOOD FOOD
My Brothers and Sisters, Brethren, this message is for men

and women alike; for just as pregnancy is produced by
joining the mind, body and spirit of a man and woman to
reproduce, the pregnancy I am referring to is also
achieved by the joining of our mind, body and spirit with
God to produce GOOD FRUIT.
God has been doing a new thing in my life, which I can

only relate to as being pregnant. I've struggled with
losing and gaining weight since I was a child. I've gone
through sporadic periods of weight gain and weight loss,
as have many people trying to lose weight and keep it off.
During my childhood, my cultural foods and lifestyle

affected my daily diet and food intake. Like most of my
family, I had little self-control over my intake of food,
but little did it matter to me and many other family
members.
The way the African-American race has integrated American

food into its culture has much to do with our history and
slavery. Consumption of good, healthy food was most often
a privilege and a rarity among slaves. Needless to say,
many families are still living with the mindset of feast
or famine and still eating the same unhealthy foods in
433
large quantities. Therefore, we are faced with widespread

health issues and obesity brought on by our cultural
lifestyle. In present day society, this is not only an
issue of concern for African-Americans and other ethnicity
who live on rich or fattening cultural foods, but to the
American population as a whole.
I wasn't an obese child, but I was well-rounded, or

pleasing plump as some might prefer to call it. I was
certainly aware of my nonstandard size, but, it was being
among peers, having come of age to enter school, that
taught me the drawbacks of being considered a "big girl."
Of course there were harsh remarks and even discrimination
from children and adults. The effects created the usual
personality distinctions to compensate for or hide my
emotions. In my case, it made me even more introverted,
passive and shy as opposed to outgoing, aggressive and
extroverted; not to say that all obese or slightly obese
children develop these characteristics, but they are
behavior patterns known to develop in some.
BECOMING A WOMAN
It wasn't until my middle school years, when my body began

to mature, that a growth spurt allowed me to slim down and
see my feet, which had been hidden under my pleasingly
plump, pot belly, since infancy.
Nature took its course as was programmed by its Maker and

developed me into a noticeably, shapely, young woman. It
was a relief, but, also, something for which my mind was
not prepared, as are most adolescents.
434
REVISITING PREGNANCY
Pregnancy is something that effects a woman mentally,

emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It requires you
to be in touch with your body and teaches you to be in
touch with yourself. However, we most often leave out or
forget that it began with the touch of God's hand and
continues by His Will. Therefore, just as Mary was, when
she conceived and carried Jesus, a woman with child should
be in touch with God.
Like Mary, any young woman conceiving out of wedlock is

going to be under scrutiny and judgment from the eyes of
society and within her inner and outer circle of friends,
family and acquaintances. Some things never change and
most of the standards for women, no matter how progressive
society attempts to be, remain the same. Perhaps, because
people see it as helping to set and maintain a standard
for family, as the building block for the human race.
God saw that Adam needed companionship, thus, a woman was

made that the two would be FRUITFUL; for the principle
characteristics of the Kingdom and its Foundation is
INCREASE. As we see through His Holy Spirit, God is
fruitfulness and creates increase. But, let us not stray
too far from our subject matter.
We know that people need one another to love, grow and

learn, for support and protection, and for joy, comfort
and peace. These are things EVERY woman preparing to bear
a child should have. However, in the beginning, it was not
so for the virgin Mary, the soon to be mother of Christ
435
Jesus. Discriminating eyes cast shame upon her. She was in

danger of being stoned for having broken the law and
shaming her family. What joy, comfort, support and
protection she should have had was quickly swept away in
the eyes of man. It was a tumultuous time and no doubt her
mind was in turmoil. At such a young age, did she have the
faith, growth and maturity to endure such hardship?
Certainly, it effected her in some way, she was only human
and but a child herself, still, in many ways.
We can be assured that God knows how much we can bear and
always has a plan and a way. He didn't bring Mary that far
to leave her. He was not going to allow anything to happen
to her or His child. So, it was put upon Joseph's heart
not to scorn her and continue with the betrothal.
I can relate this to the tremendous heartache and

disappoint my mother experienced upon discovering my
teenage pregnancy. Yet, it was her faith in God that
allowed her to have unconditional love for me, so, that
she followed through and obeyed God, much like Joseph.
Joseph provided for them, supported, protected, brought

joy and comfort and together they grew and learned from
one another to become a family to endure the hardships
ahead of them and be fruitful.
It is a beautiful story, because, even knowing the danger

and hardships Jesus' family encountered, we know that God
provided a way. When we obey God's Will, even when we are
met with adversity, God provides a WAY! Now, how can we
apply this to living abundantly in our eternal life?
First, let's think about the other young people today, who
find themselves pregnant and unmarried. We find that we
are faced with millions of teen-aged parents who have the
same needs as Mary and Joseph. In the past, I too, was one
436
of them. These young parents may or may not be following

God's Will and Way and are not alone in their sin, because
society also is not following God's Will and Way. They may
not be able to provide for their child and family. Some
may see them as being a burden upon society, which has to
provide for their basic necessities. However, don't think
that that young man and young woman aren't affected in
some way by what they have done, and this event will
continue to have an affect on the rest of their lives. It
is important that we help them learn from this experience
in a POSITIVE way to counteract the negative effects.
During my pregnancy, I came to rely on food for comfort,

joy, and support due to feelings of insecurity, shame,
guilt, sorrow, depression, anxiety, etc. Yes, I gained too
much weight. Was I just weak, stupid, ignorant, greedy or
was I lacking what I needed mentally, emotionally,
physically, and spiritually to be healthy for me and my
baby? Did the stress of my negative and hostile
environment help me to create POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT to
relieve that stress and maintain my eating disorder and
promiscuous behavior?
People around me were experiencing similar feelings of

stress and both families of the child were struggling with
acceptance and responsibilities. There were mixed emotions
and bitter feelings that arose, which evolved into
bickering and fighting.
I remember having talks with God during my periods of

anxiety attacks, where my heart ached and my chest hurt.
We were a proud and religious family and my mother was
determined that I would not be a welfare case and a burden
upon society. So, she even took on burdens that she should
have given to God. However, I am eternally grateful for
the faith and love that she had and for God giving her the
strength, wisdom, love, endurance and ability to care for
437
us and provide. No one could have tried to do more to help

their child and family. Yet, those things she wouldn't let
go of cost her dearly, diminishing her health, quality of
life and relationships. She was a great woman, in that she
lived to 'serve' others, effecting countless lives, and
continuing to do so through her legacy. I was blessed to
have her as a mother and my children were blessed to have
her as a grandmother. God continues to see that her work
is not in vain.
HOW CAN I GAIN?
So, here I am and God is doing a new thing in my abundant

and eternal life, that it may be more abundant. At first,
I thought that He wants to know what I will give up to
have a more abundant life. Then, I realized that I've had
it all wrong all along. I was looking at abundant life and
weight loss the same way and the WRONG way, causing me to
struggle.
The Kingdom is about GAINING something, NOT LOSING

something!
When a woman is pregnant, she realizes she is no longer

just one person. She is sharing her life and her body with
someone she considers precious and already a part of her.
She looks forward to the birth of her child who will bring
her increased joy and another part of being a woman--
motherhood. She GAINS from her labor by having someone to
love and care for, who will reciprocate that love. After
birth her womb is never empty, as the child remains
forever a part of her unless something happens to the
child and the child dies. Then, she grieves for the loss
of the child and the empty void within her womb.
438
How have I drawn upon this new awareness of my body and

feeling of expectancy and gain?
What we let go of or die to cannot compare to what we GAIN

from God and His Kingdom. Our labor is not in vain. Our
womb in this instance is our heart, or spirit. Our heart
will never be empty as God will NEVER leave us and can
never die.
When we truly acknowledge Jesus and God's Holy Spirit

inside of us, realizing we are no longer living just for
one person, we can continue to be expectant, growing and
being fruitful through the Holy Spirit within us. As one
person put it, it becomes a reverse pregnancy whereas, the
entity within nourishes the host.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEXT REFERENCES
(1)What a Friend we have in Jesus

Lyrics: Joseph Scriven
Music: Charles Crozat Converse
(1834-1918)
1 What a Friend we have in Jesus,

All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
439
Everything to God in prayer!

O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!
2 Have we trials and temptations?

Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged,
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness,
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
3 Are we weak and heavy-laden,

Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge—
Take it to the Lord in prayer;
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer;
In His arms He’ll take and shield thee,
Thou wilt find a solace there.
**********************************************************
440
(2)John 4(KJV)
(3)Psalm 51(KJV)
**********************************************************
441
Chapter 15
Part II
GOOD FRUIT: PREGNANT
"Our being fruitful does not only apply to how

we treat others, but, also, in how we treat
ourselves!
God is telling you and me that we cannot

embrace the TRUTH without embracing THE WAY, if
we are to live ABUNDANTLY!"
442
FAT VS HEALTHY
Matthew 4(KJV)
1 Then was Jesus led up of the Spirit into the

wilderness to be tempted of the devil.
2 And when he had fasted forty days and forty

nights, he was afterward an hungred.
3 And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou

be the Son of God, command that these stones be made
bread.
4 But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall

not live by bread alone, but by every word that
proceedeth out of the mouth of God.
Perhaps, you aren't fat, overweight, or obese, but neither

are you healthy, or you want to stay fit and healthy.
Everyone can benefit from this message.
God promised me that I would never be fat(overweight,

obese) again. Now, before you say that that doesn't sound
like anything God would say, let's talk about perception.
When I look in the mirror or step on the scale, I

perceive myself as "fat." God was meeting me on my level
through my perception of myself. It wasn't a promise that
I would suddenly be thin or at my correct calculated
weight and body mass index. God was preparing me to change
my perception of myself in order to permanently correct
443
the problem. So, He fed my words back to me in a way that

allowed them to take on new meaning and empower me.
How we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us

has a lot to do with how our minds are wired and
programmed. Thus, if we perceive ourselves as always being
"fat," then, we are setting up self-fulfilling prophecy.
We have dug the ditch and crawled down inside of it to lie
down, having no real faith, hope and expectancy for
change. But, one might say, "Of course I expect to lose
weight or I wouldn't be dieting or exercising!" However,
most often, what we are expecting is RESULTS, not TRUE
CHANGE within our heart, thus, we don't keep the weight
off.
Now, some skeptical people might be quick to say that

God was speaking to me metaphorically or symbolically, so,
I should not get my hopes up, but, I already see change
beginning to happen. However, I still have to take part
and be accountable in this "agreement of heart and mind."
Just as if I was to carry a child full-term in a
pregnancy, I must carry God with me all the way; from
Earth to Heaven, as some might say, letting HIM lead me.
Simple, but, at times, maybe not so simple. I must
remember that I am eating for more than one. He within me
nourishes me, therefore, my soul (my mind), my body and my
spirit require less, to make more room for Him and less of
me, living and operating in the flesh. Change may mean
that weight-loss is slower, however, it will produce
lasting results, because my mind will follow a heart that
has been cleaned and purged, changed anew to follow the
Mind of Christ to abundant and eternal life.
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THE TEMPTER
Hunger can cause us to do many things, lie, steal, and

even kill. The tempter preys upon our hunger as one of the
weaknesses of our fleshly body. But Jesus tells us that it
is not our only means of survival. We are able to live by
the spirit, also, and the spirit can help to meet the
needs of the body, "by every word that proceedeth out of
the mouth of God."
Yes, perception is everything. When we hunger, we must

perceive what we hunger for and when we thirst we must
perceive that which will quench our thirst.
Jesus told the Woman at the Well:
John 4:13-15(KJV)
13 Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever

drinketh of this water shall thirst again:
14 But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall

give him shall never thirst; but the water that I
shall give him shall be in him a well of water
springing up into everlasting life.
15 The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this

water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to
draw.
When our mind tells us that we hunger or thirst, we
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must first search within our heart to determine our true

need. Are our needs being met to satisfy not only the
physical body, but the mind (soul) and spirit (heart)?
Instead of reaching for that which the tempter offers us,
we can reach for the Word of God who dwells within us,
Jesus, Yeshua, who will reveal our heart to us and guide
us to our true needs: love, growth, knowledge; support;
protection; joy; comfort; truth; holiness; righteousness,
faith; peace; and the Word of God.
He will help to birth that within us that needs to come

into fruition. Is the seed being properly watered? Is it
planted within fertile ground?
Like the pregnant virgin Mary, are our needs being met to
insure that the life within us, is safe, healthy and
living by the Word of God?
If not, then surely the flesh that holds it will suffer.
Remember, that you are not alone. The Triune God dwells
within you. You, your body is His Temple, a building not
made by the hands of man, but, the Hand of God. Your body,
His Temple, needs His hands for sustenance, maintenance,
restoration and repair.
If you are like me, then you have tried many diets and
exercises in the past, only to be self-defeated by lack of
willpower, endurance and sustainability. This only goes to
show that we had not surrendered our will to God, who
cannot fail. We wanted immediate results, instead of
change from within; change that would make us think
differently about ourselves and about our needs. When, it
came to our health, we were living for one person--
ourselves. Now, what would Jesus do? He told us in:
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Matthew 4:5-11
5 Then the devil took him to the holy city and had
him stand on the highest point of the temple.
6 “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw

yourself down. For it is written:
“‘He will command his angels concerning you,
and they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a

stone.’”
7 Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not

put the Lord your God to the test.’”
8 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain

and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and
their splendor.
9 “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will

bow down and worship me.”
10 Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it

is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve
him only.'”
11 Then the devil left him, and angels came and

attended him.
When it comes to our health, we take the bait from the

tempter. That extra helping, that cake or pie looks like
the world to us. Sure, we'll take the dare, jump and dive
right into indulging ourselves and maybe even get sick as
we continue to damage our body (God's Temple). When it
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comes to our health, we have been walking around open,

unprotected, dropping our shield, and removing our armor
(The Armor of God). We have been thinking, "Yes, I love
you, Lord, but, when it comes to this doughnut, I can't
obey. Yes, I'll follow you, Jesus, but first let me stop
at that fast food restaurant I saw back there. You see, I
gotta have it, when I want it."
We struggle and OH, how we struggle, when we take our

eyes off of Jesus. We have set up terms and conditions to
follow. Jesus and God need to be patient with us as we try
to destroy ourselves and of course stick around to pick up
the pieces, fix us and restore that which we insist on
damaging, because it belongs to US! Yet, we believe we
have given our lives to GOD! OH, how we struggle, "oh,
what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer2."
WHO ARE YOU? HOW DO YOU KNOW?
We as Believers must know who we are and be aware of

ourselves (soul, spirit and body) and deeply aware of He
who dwells within.
Ask yourself:
Who am I? Am I defined by: what I eat; how much I eat;
2 What a Friend we have in Jesus

(1834-1918)
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what my body looks like; how pretty or handsome my face

is; or what color I am?
Do my clothes define me? Does my job or status in life

define me? Do the things I own define me?
Will I ever be: skinny enough; handsome or pretty enough;

smart enough; or rich enough?
Will I be driven or motivated to greatness or fame? Will I

be desirable and accepted by men and my peers? Do these
things matter? How important are they in the Kingdom? Who
do they GLORIFY?
VANITY, VANITY? Is all vanity? Not all...only that which

bears no good fruit. God has provided a WAY to continue
being fruitful, bearing GOOD fruit and planting His seeds,
connected to The Vine, The Way, The Truth, and THE LIFE!
Surrendering all is just that, surrendering ALL. I had

to make a decision if I intended not just to lose weight,
but to CHANGE my weight and GAIN a better understanding of
WHO I AM IN CHRIST!
My mindset, believing I was just a fat person and my

lifestyle to keep it that way, proved that I was living
for ME, MYSELF and I.
I said that I wanted to live and improve my health and

lifestyle, but, as far as my body, my TEMPLE, was
concerned, I was still living in SELF.I am no longer
alone, the Triune God lives within me. When I say I want
to live, it can no longer be for myself.
I must want to live for GOD and live through Christ
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Jesus!
He within you is perfect and calls to you to rest in

His perfection. How do we do this? At times we will need
to put out the fire the enemy has set upon us by stopping,
dropping to our knees to pray and rolling into the
faithful and comforting arms of Jesus. At other times, we
need only to "lift up our eyes to the hills from which
comes our help." As time goes on, we come to recognize the
life within us who sustains us, nurtures and provides
everything we need. Then, we look inside of ourselves to
GAIN abundant and eternal life instead of losing our soul
and life to the world.
WHOSE MIND-OVER MATTERS?
It is said that the mind is a powerful thing, but, the

mind follows the heart. So, it is the heart (spirit) which
has the greatest power and when the spirit rest in The
Holy Spirit, there is no greater power.
Mind over matter can only work when led by the Mind of
Christ through God's Holy Spirit!
Can a man experience the same feelings of pregnancy and

expectancy? Yes, because how we perceive things in our
mind matters. God has proven this to scientists and
physicians by the Couvade Syndrome, a condition where a
man sympathizes or empathizes so much with his pregnant
wife, to the extent that stress levels change the
chemistry and hormones in his body, making him exhibit
real pregnancy symptoms, such as bloating, weight gain,
nausea (morning sickness), aches and pains, and swelling.
He can even have high levels of the hormone prolactin
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which helps to make breast milk.
During our Rebirth, each of us, man and woman alike was
impregnated, with NEW LIFE to be passed on, just as the
Apostles laid hands on the first Believers in the Son of
God. God's Holy Spirit gives new life. We were connected
to The Vine, Yeshua, in order to produce "GOOD" fruit. Our
abundant life lies within knowing and understanding our
REPRODUCTIVE CYCLE to produce good fruit, as promised by
God and our commitment to one another. We have a charge to
keep and a God to Glorify!
Our being fruitful does not only apply to how we treat

others, but, also, in how we treat ourselves!
His promises are true. If He says I am cleansed of sin, I

have no reason to doubt Him. If He says I am delivered
from gluttony, I have no reason to doubt Him. I need only
to trust Him to show me the WAY, for He always makes a way
for what He promises. Even when we are faced with
adversity, He will bring forth that which He has promised
to deliver into the Light. Our labor will not be in vain.
My Brothers and Sisters we are pregnant with new and

abundant life, the FRUITFULNESS of God's Holy Spirit, Who
has EMPOWERED us and shown us The Way to never-ending
Abundant Life.
God is telling you and me that we cannot embrace the TRUTH

without embracing THE WAY, if we are to live ABUNDANTLY!
There is a way to overcome yourself and die to the

flesh. There is a way to love yourself to the glory of
GOD, who dwells within you, through Christ Jesus. All
praise, glory and honor be given to GOD whose TRUTH has
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set us free and free indeed!
Brethren, if you have been struggling with weight loss or

any type of habit or behavioral problem, seek that deeper
awareness of who you are in Christ and the deeper
awareness of He who is within you. Surrender and let Him
take control to bring forth the new life He has given you
within, so that you may enjoy the fruitfulness and freedom
of abundant life.
Do not be discouraged if temptation tries to resurrect

the old man within you and then, your flesh causes you to
remove your eyes from Jesus and stray from the path. The
adversary will always try to fill you with doubt,
hopelessness, guilt and shame.
Never forget who you belong to and that you know your way
back to Jesus!
Continue to seek change from within, dying to the flesh

and surrendering all to God.
God wants to change your perception of you, so that you

see you through His eyes and become who He has created you
to be.
The next time you think you are hungry, perhaps, you
will first perceive a hunger for HOLINESS, which can fill
you up and carry you through each trial and temptation;
which can create in you a clean heart and a right spirit.
Psalm 51:10(KJV)(3)
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right

spirit within me.
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With all love and hope for you, your servant and soldier,
united with the One
mishael
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEXT REFERENCES
(1)What a Friend we have in Jesus

(1834-1918)
**********************************************************
(2)John 4(KJV)
(3)Psalm 51(KJV)
**********************************************************
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Chapter 16
Part I
GOD WANTS YOU IN FIGHTING FORM
THERE'S A WAR GOING ON
God wants His Soldiers in fighting form
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One of the most pressing and concerning issues in

America today is that of available, affordable, and
quality healthcare. Access to affordable healthcare and
medicine is vital to most Americans. It has become a topic
of heated discussion and debate, even dividing people
within the same political parties.
Some people believe that universal healthcare is the

answer, since, clearly, as they see it, healthcare is a
civil right; a humane right that helps to define our
humanity. On the opposing side are those who don't believe
they should have to take care of someone else and each man
must earn his own way, regardless of his ability, or
suffer the consequences. In other words, they believe in
survival of the fittest, the most capable, and the
wealthiest. The rest of the people must get by or survive
by whatever means they can find, or perish. The vast
majority of these people, who support this type of
critical thinking with the political ideology of less
government interference and control over the people,
benefiting the people and upholding their freedom of
choice, consider themselves to be strong, devout Believers
and upholders of their faith and the Word of God.
WE must be aware that the enemy will harden our heart

towards our neighbors and confound even our common sense
to keep us ignorant, blinded, in bondage, arguing among
ourselves and divided. A hardened heart cannot discern or
rightfully comprehend the Word of God. It will find itself
trying to serve two masters, loving one and despising the
other.
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Matthew 6:24(KJV)
No man can serve two masters: for either he will

hate the one, and love the other; or else he will
hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot
serve God and mammon.
Then, the enemy will catch us off

guard, unarmed, weak, and lambs for the slaughter. This
need not be, if we allow God to prepare us to be
preemptive in fighting the enemy and not waiting for the
enemy to attack. God has promised to equip us so that we
are watchful, protected, and prepared to fight. This is
why He offers to arm us with His armor and prepare us to
resist and persist.
If you are living in abundant and eternal life, you

have not abandoned the battle, or laid down your armor.
You have heard the horn sound the alarm and answered the
call, telling God, "Send me."
ENTITLEMENT
God is not going to let us sit around having a sense of

entitlement, believing that all we have to do is wait for
Him to come and rescue us, because we deserve to be
rescued. God expects us to be a willing participants in
our battles. No, He really doesn't need us to defeat the
enemy, but, letting God do ALL the work is not how the
RELATIONSHIP with God works in empowering us to die to the
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flesh and conquer the world. We must realistically assess

and evaluate what dying daily, resisting the enemy and
conquering the sins of the world entail.
If God is doing all of our fighting, then, we should

always be living in holiness and righteousness and having
no problems in our lives. If God is doing all of our
fighting, then, we should never be yielding to temptation
and never be in the flesh. And because we're such perfect
people, is it that God doesn't have to do much fighting
for us, because we're smart enough and wise enough to
never get into trouble. No? Then, God must expect us to do
something and resist the adversary.
Let us walk in one accord under the mind of Christ,

with a humble heart to hear the Word of God imparted to us
with clarity and truth.
Believers have become neutralized and weak because they

believe they must still be helpless sheep bleating and
baaing to alert the shepherd to protect them and crying
out to God to save them. But, when Jesus died, He said,
"It is finished."
In our abundant and eternal life, we must never forget

that we are in a RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. Partnered for
eternity! He is with us ALWAYS, working through us and for
us! Fighting, resisting and persisting is part of our
learning to trust and believe God and part of our growth,
maturity and keeping our brother.
As part of the Body of Christ, we are in coordination

and collaboration with the rest of the Body. When one
member is injured or attacked, we ALL are injured or
attacked! We work together to uphold one another and
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prevent each other from falling into darkness. We are

fighting with the Armor of God!
God teaches us about battle because He expects us to

fight, knowing that He is with us and we do not fight
alone. He tells us about the enemy so that we do not fear
him and know how to thwart and defeat him. He tells us
about the enemy so that we stay watchful and on our guard.
We not only fight for ourselves, but we fight in the

name of God, for ALL THAT HE IS TO US and ALL THAT HE HAS
DONE and WILL DO FOR US!
Our LOVE and HONOR for our Heavenly Father compels us

to confront the enemy like David confronted the Philistine
Goliath who defied the God of Israel.
1 Samuel 1:45,46(KJV)
45 Then said David to the Philistine, Thou comest to

me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a
shield: but I come to thee in the name of the Lord
of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou
hast defied.
46 This day will the Lord deliver thee into mine

hand; and I will smite thee, and take thine head
from thee; and I will give the carcases of the host
of the Philistines this day unto the fowls of the
air, and to the wild beasts of the earth; that all
the earth may know that there is a God in Israel.
458
Many Believers, especially those clinging to religion,

do not know or have not been taught their heritage,
inheritance, and empowering connection with God. Most
religions preach separatism between other Believers as if
there is more than one God.
Instead of being equipped, most Believers are kept

under the false belief that God is far off, beyond their
reach, so, they must go through clergy, canonized saints,
the mother of Jesus, or in some religions, prophets or
lesser deities for protection and blessings. They are
stripped of the power God has given them to CONQUER the
world and the darkness therein through the example of
Jesus and the power of His Holy Spirit.
BRIDGING THE GAP, COMPLETING THE GRAFT
If we are to truly understand WHO we are in Christ, we

must understand the identity of ALL those who Believe in
the God of Abraham and ALL those who confess Christ Jesus
as God's Son and the Messiah. What are our roots,
commonalities, and relationship to one another?
Many who believe in God still believe there are many

faiths and that religion is a vehicle to salvation. Jews,
Muslims and Christians see themselves as separate entities
of different faiths stemming from the same origin but with
conflicting theology and ideology.
Yet, how can you separate the Jew, the Christian, and
the Muslim from the God of Abraham whom they worship? Why
does man continue to separate the faith and belief that
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established Abraham as righteous in God's eyes? Where has

man's religion taken him and what has he gained or lost
because of it?
How many centuries or millenniums will it take to

convince man that his religion cannot take the place of a
relationship with God? Abraham had a relationship with
God, as did all the prophets who followed him.
My Brothers and Sisters, THERE IS ONE FAITH! God did

not separate FAITH into religions, denominations and
sects! One cannot change the MEANING of faith! You either
have FAITH as defined by God or you don't have FAITH. You
cannot be of a particular faith or persuasion. You either
BELIEVE and TRUST in God or you don't believe and trust in
God. That is what established Abraham's relationship with
God!
AT WHAT POINT WILL MAN FINALLY SEE
AND UNDERSTAND...
LOVE AND OBEDIENCE to God is the HIGH POINT of WORSHIP

(in Spirit and in Truth), whereby BELIEF transcends
EARTHLY AND CARNAL KNOWLEDGE, wherein we begin to WALK BY
FAITH AND NOT BY SIGHT. Moreover, our walk, led by our
faith can ONLY lead in ONE direction to a SINGLE
DESTINATION--to Abba Father, our Heavenly Father!
There is one God and Holy Spirit! One cannot change or

alter them! Do I sound naive in my assuming that we should
all have the same perception of who God is? To most people
I'm sure that is the case, nevertheless, it cannot and
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should not prevent me and you from standing firm in TRUTH.
There is but one VINE, Yeshua, to whom we become

connected!
We must understand that Jesus the Vine is a JEW. He is

a Jew not only because of his bloodline, being that we are
ALL connected to the bloodline of Abraham, who descended
from Adam. Jesus is a Jew because He was part of the
chosen people of God who were set aside to be HOLY! This
is why God speaks of those who call themselves Jews, but,
are not Jews, because they fail to follow His commandment,
to set themselves apart from the world to be HOLY. This is
also why outsiders were allowed to be converted into
Judaism. This is also why God extended the salvation given
to Jews through the sacrifice of His Son to Gentiles,
also.
God sees us all as being descendants of Adam who was

made in His image.
Please allow me to repeat myself. There is only ONE

VINE! There is not a Vine for Jews and another for
Christians and other religions. Jesus is not given another
name or identity just for Christians and other religions.
God established a nation for Ishmael and a nation for
Isaac, but, He did not establish or allow them separate
gods to worship. Now, after many centuries, man cannot
undo what he has done to himself, neither does he desire
to do so, for each man feels he is just in his belief to
establish his religion as being right. But, how can it be
right, if God did not create it and establish it as right?
When God gave new laws and doctrine to the Jews, He did
not recreate or change their identity! Yet, each time men
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find themselves in disagreement, they form new doctrine

and take on a new identity for themselves and their newly
founded religion.
Christians betray themselves by trying to distance

themselves from the Jew! Jesus, the Vine was a Jew! WE as
those GENTILES who follow Christ are GRAFTED INTO THE VINE
OF THE JEWS WHO WERE CALLED CHRISTIANS!
So, this is where it becomes even more contradictory

when Christians say they are not Jews. The first people
called Christians at Antioch were Jews. They did not deny
or denounce their Jewish heritage and inheritance, they
remained Jews. Are Christians now saying that these Jews
called Christians were not true Christians? Think about
this.
Remember the dispute in the Bible over the Gentiles

being circumcised to become followers of Jesus? The Jews
were not demanding circumcision to make them Christians,
it was to make them Jews who were followers of Christ in
order to obey the law of Moses, as it was believed only
Jews could be saved. Gentiles were considered to be
UNCLEAN--UNHOLY. It wasn't because people believed Abraham
wasn't their father and they weren't from his bloodline.
However, God showed Peter in his visions that

circumcision of the Gentiles to become Jews was no longer
necessary because what He had cleansed, no man could call
common or unclean. How did God cleanse them? --By the
blood and sacrifice of Christ Jesus! And by receiving Him
and His Holy Spirit, they were given new life, cleansed
and purged of sin. Can a Muslim become cleansed and purged
of sin the same way? What does your heart tell you? Does
he have FAITH in God? Does he live and act in faith to
God?
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God didn't make Jesus a Christian. Neither Jesus, nor

His Apostles founded Christianity. Christians became a
Brand Name to brand the Jewish followers of Jesus who
believed He is the Son of God and the Jewish Messiah.
Messianic Jews don't become Christians, but, are they a

part of the Vine, having accepted Christ Jesus? Or, should
they have to become Christians? Tell me, where do they fit
in, in mans idealism of sects and denominations in
relationship with Jesus and God? Are they false Believers
because they cling to Judaism? Or, is the Christian a
false believer because he denies his heritage and his true
inheritance?
How long will we be caught up in the religious politics

that is tearing the world apart? Can we return to ONE
FAITH?
If it were not for the fact that God did not create a
SEPARATE VINE and the gentiles were instructed to follow
various laws of Judaism, I might agree that God intended
the Christian Gentiles to remain separate from the
Christian Jews. However, God came to Peter specifically to
show him that He had no respect of person and it was no
longer unlawful for Jews to mix with the CLEANSED and HOLY
Gentiles.
A better understanding is to realize that the Messianic

Jew is the result of the fulfillment of prophecy by the
sacrifice and resurrection of Christ Jesus! Those Gentiles
chosen to be part of the Vine no longer maintained a
SEPARATE IDENTITY, otherwise, they would bear DIFFERENT
FRUIT than that of the Vine.
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THUS, UNDERSTAND THIS PLEASE IF YOU WILL:
God created man and a plan for his life, so

that one day EVERY KNEE SHALL BOW AND EVERY TONGUE
CONFESS THAT CHRIST JESUS, IS THE SON OF GOD, KING
OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS!
Philippians 2:10-11(KJV)
10 That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,

of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things
under the earth;
11 And that every tongue should confess that Jesus

Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
When I look at my neighbor who hasn't confessed Jesus,

I see his knees bowed and his tongue confessing! There is
no need for me to hate him or shun him because, GOD HAS IT
ALL UNDER CONTROL!
Therefore, as BELIEVERS, UNITED and TOGETHER, let us

resist and persist and fight the true enemy and betrayer,
who continues to wreak havoc and cause chaos and confusion
to keep us in ignorance and bondage, divided, and killing
one another; none other than the adversary Lucifer, Satan,
the Devil and the fallen Angel.
God needs Believers who KNOW who they are in Christ.

God needs TRUE BELIEVERS, TRUE WORSHIPPERS and TRUE
SOLDIERS OF THE CROSS for:
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• Watchmen
• Missionary Work
• Strategic planning
• Training and Equipping and Empowering the Saints
• Instruction in wearing and using the Armour of God
• Fighting with the Sword, God's Word
• Commanding the troops
• Aiding and healing the wounded
• Praying throughout the battle
• Providing Food for the soul
• Encouraging the ranks
• Loving your neighbor and even your enemies
• And having the power, courage and unconditional love
to LOVE and FORGIVE
REST ASSURED THAT THE TRUE ENEMY WILL ATTACK YOU

PERSONALLY
• Put on your armor daily

• Stay connected to God, always prayerful
• Always be prepared
• Shine your light
• Remember you're not alone
• Spread the Good News
• Be Bold
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• Do EVERYTHING in God's Love

• Help make Disciples and build up the ranks and the
Kingdom
When you are witnessing to others, edifying, and

helping others to glorify God, you are on the battlefield!
You are fighting back the darkness that would capture,
kill, steal and destroy. When you live for holiness and
righteousness, praying, holding and pushing back darkness,
YOU are a SOLDIER in God's Army. If you say you wear His
Armor, YOU are a SOLDIER in God's Army, because you were
BORN into an ONGOING BATTLE, where the outcome has already
been determined. Nevertheless, we must continue to hold
our ground, ANCHORED and STANDING, raising the banner of
holiness and righteousness, in the name of God!
With all love and hope for you, your servant and fellow
soldier, united with the One
mishael
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SUGGESTED READING
http://biblesforamerica.org/blog/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Acts 10(KJV)
The Dispute over Circumcision: Genesis 17:9-27; Leviticus
12:1-8; Joshua 5:1-9)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Chapter 16
Part II
Luke 10:19(KJV)
"Behold, I have given you authority to tread on

serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of
the enemy, and nothing will injure you."
2 Timothy 2:1-4(KJV)
1 Thou therefore, my son, be strong in the grace

that is in Christ Jesus.
2 And the things that thou hast heard of me among

many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful
men, who shall be able to teach others also.
3 Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier

of Jesus Christ.
4 No man that warreth entangleth himself with the

affairs of this life; that he may please him who
hath chosen him to be a soldier.
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WHERE IS THE BATTLEFIELD?
• Wherever men don't know about God, Christ Jesus, and

the Kingdom
• Wherever men don't know about God's Love
• Wherever men don't know HOW to love
• Wherever the enemy has blinded men
• Wherever the enemy has caused confusion and chaos
• Wherever the enemy has placed men in bondage
• Wherever there is sickness, disease and pain
• Wherever there is hunger
• Wherever there is sorrow and grief
• Wherever men do not live in truth, holiness and
righteousness
• Wherever there is injustice
• Wherever there is oppression and suffering and war
• Wherever there is darkness
• Wherever men need to follow The Way, The Truth, and
The Life
CHRIST HAS DECLARED THE BATTLEFIELD and sent His

Disciples out into the world to defeat darkness in any
form and meet the needs of the people. He has commissioned
us to be His ambassadors, and He has shown us the WAY.
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10 Now I Paul myself beseech you by the meekness and

gentleness of Christ, who in presence am base among
you, but being absent am bold toward you:
2 But I beseech you, that I may not be bold when I

am present with that confidence, wherewith I think
to be bold against some, which think of us as if we
walked according to the flesh.
3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war

after the flesh:
4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal,

but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong
holds;)
5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing

that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God,
and bringing into captivity every thought to the
obedience of Christ;
6 And having in a readiness to revenge all

disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.
Brethren, I'm sure most people don't look at being a

Believer and Follower of Christ as being part of an army.
When we give our lives to God, we really don't visualize
ourselves as putting on His armor and preparing for war
with the enemy. But, what did we think the Armor of God
was for, just to protect us from other people, while the
adversary beats upon us and tries to kill us? Does God
just want us to be a punching bag for the adversary?
Keep in mind that SOLDIERS wear armor. Therefore, God

must consider us to be HIS SOLDIERS!
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If we are to wear it, we must truly understand what

God's Armor is for and how to use it daily. Be assured
that the enemy knows and also knows how to disarm you.
Ephesians 6:10-18(KJV)
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and

in the power of his might.
11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be

able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but

13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God,

that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day,
and having done all, to stand.
14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about

with truth, and having on the breastplate of
righteousness;
15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the

gospel of peace;
16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith

ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of
the wicked.
17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword

of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
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18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication

in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all
perseverance and supplication for all saints;
Many continue to refer to the scripture that God will

fight our battles for us and the battle is the Lord's, not
really understanding what it means or being too selfish,
cowardly, calculating or carnal minded to internalize its
true meaning.
Before you believe you have a deflecting shield around

you, at all times, study God's Word to know why God gives
us His Armor and how He expects us to use it. We are in a
relationship with God and He expects us to do our part so
that He is not always doing damage control.
People often stop after reading part of the scripture

about not warring with the flesh, because it implies
contact with that which some perceive to be the
supernatural. But, YES, God involves us physically and
spiritually in war with demonic forces on behalf of our
lives, others, and the Kingdom.
We may feel we're not cut out for that sort of thing,
or, perhaps, someone else can take care of that part of
being a Christian, Follower or Believer, because you
didn't sign on for any demonic warfare or intercessory
prayer, fighting battles with darkness and the adversary.
We don't want to associate those demons as being

attached to people, because we see it as demonizing
people. However, this fact explains the necessity of the
scripture. We must look past the flesh of the person to
the demonic spirit which has placed the person into
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bondage eliciting dark behavior. The scripture is

informing us of the premises under which we as God's
servants wage war.
The enemy is always working to expand its territory. We

in turn must be prepared for counterattack, but, even more
so for preemptive strike and preventative measures.
If we look at our trials and tribulations, each one is

a battle of sorts. God doesn't arm us for no reason. He
expects us to use that which He has equipped us. Yes, He
is there to protect us, but, He expects us to be empowered
through Him to stand up for ourselves against darkness,
not being fearful or in the flesh to be misled. When we
are too weak to join in the battle, of course, God fights
it for us. He will tell us to be still if the battle is
for Him alone.
Now, that we have been born into abundant and eternal

life, God wants to strengthen us from within and prepare
us to be in fighting form.
Leading others to believe that we always stand by and

let God do all of the work is leading lambs to the
slaughter.
This is why so many within institutional churches are

unable to conquer the flesh and the world. As a result,
many institutional churches have become a useful tool for
the adversary.
So, where is the proper place to engage in spiritual

battle? Is there such a thing as Spiritual Warfare
Etiquette? Do we fight at home, but lay down our armor on
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our job or in public places to be politically correct, so

as not to appear to be too 'spiritual', or religious, as
some would categorize it? Should we never pray on our job,
not even before a meal, so as not to offend anyone?
Do we allow darkness to thrive and take over our place

of worship, our job, our place of employment, political
system and government, all because we believe there should
be separation between church and state? Perhaps it's best
to think, "Oh, that's not my battle," or, "I let God fight
all of my battle?"
Can we choose whether or not to engage darkness in

battle, or to fight only on our own terms? Can we be so
selfish as to watch others suffer because we refuse to
allow God to USE US to be our brother's keeper?
Ephesians 6:18
Praying always with all prayer and supplication in

the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all
We are the Saints of God, who are set aside to be Holy,

watching and praying for ALL saints. If we aren't
constantly prepared, equipped and ready, can we expect the
enemy to wait for us to arm ourselves and prepare? What
kind of servant and vessel are we being for God? Are we
waiting for Him to come and rescue us because we live life
haphazardly and without responsibility or accountability
for our actions?
God watches over our going out and our coming in, but,
He SENDS us out to do battle, calling us to arm ourselves
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daily with spiritual weapons of warfare! He does not send

us alone. He goes with us!
He will tell us when it is time to be still, but, until

then, He holds us up, strengthening us upon the
battlefield of life. He wants us to BE READY to RESIST and
PERSIST, STANDING in His Holiness and Righteousness until
our change comes. Jesus told us to STAND! How shall you
stand? Will you allow the adversary to push you back, or,
will you stand firmly to hold your ground for God?!
My friends, let us ALL write this scripture upon our

hearts that we will not be like those who judge others,
living by false doctrine and religion, and not living and
walking in faith.
Romans 14(KJV)
14 Him that is weak in the faith receive ye, but not

to doubtful disputations.
2 For one believeth that he may eat all things:

another, who is weak, eateth herbs.
3 Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth

not; and let not him which eateth not judge him that
eateth: for God hath received him.
4 Who art thou that judgest another man's servant?

to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he
shall be holden up: for God is able to make him
stand.
5 One man esteemeth one day above another: another

esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully
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persuaded in his own mind.
6 He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the

Lord; and he that regardeth not the day, to the Lord
he doth not regard it. He that eateth, eateth to the
Lord, for he giveth God thanks; and he that eateth
not, to the Lord he eateth not, and giveth God
thanks.
7 For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth

to himself.
8 For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and

whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we
live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's.
9 For to this end Christ both died, and rose, and

revived, that he might be Lord both of the dead and
living.
10 But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost

thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all
stand before the judgment seat of Christ.
11 For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord,

every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall
confess to God.
12 So then every one of us shall give account of

himself to God.
13 Let us not therefore judge one another any more:

but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling
block or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.
14 I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that

there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that
esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is
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unclean.
15 But if thy brother be grieved with thy meat, now

walkest thou not charitably. Destroy not him with
thy meat, for whom Christ died.
16 Let not then your good be evil spoken of:
17 For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but

righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.
18 For he that in these things serveth Christ is

acceptable to God, and approved of men.
19 Let us therefore follow after the things which

make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify
another.
20 For meat destroy not the work of God. All things

indeed are pure; but it is evil for that man who
eateth with offence.
21 It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink

wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth,
or is offended, or is made weak.
22 Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God.

Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that
thing which he alloweth.
23 And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because

he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of
faith is sin.
Finally, My Beloved Brothers and Sisters, Christ was

crucified, dead, buried and arose again for ALL MEN!
Therefore, love your neighbors as yourself.
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Pray for our leaders in government, that the

commandments of the Lord may enter into their hearts, so
that they sin not against God by hurting the people, whom
they have sworn to act within their best interests.
Mark 12:30,31(KJV)
30 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy
heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind,
and with all thy strength: this is the first
commandment.
31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt

love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other
commandment greater than these.
With all love and hope for you, your servant and fellow
soldier, united with the One
mishael
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SUGGESTED READING
http://biblesforamerica.org/blog/
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Acts 10(KJV)
The Dispute over Circumcision: Genesis 17:9-27; Leviticus
12:1-8; Joshua 5:1-9(KJV)
Acts 15(KJV)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Episode 14
AUNTIE YONNY:
Alpha Male, A New Identity?
480

Episode 14
AUNTIE YONNY:
Alpha Male, A New Identity?
Hal followed Miriam into the dining room where they

were quickly served with a wholesome and satisfying meal.
Miriam asked Hal if he had slept well and inquired about
the morning's events and interview with her aunt.
Reluctant to tell all, in fear of Miriam deciding that he
was a threat to Tanya's longevity, Hal decided to keep his
conversation and responses short and general.
"You got up early this morning. I'm usually the first

one in to see my aunt. Didn't you sleep well or was there
a particular reason why you were anxious to speak with
her? Was there something you felt couldn't wait?
Looking down at his coffee cup, Hal grabbed some cream,

poured it into his coffee and began to swirl it around
creating different patterns.
"No, matter of fact, I slept extremely well. So,

soundly that it enabled me to be an early riser. So, I
thought I'd make good use of the time."
"Well, I thought I might have disturbed you and kept

you up. I was up late last night. I had company."
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Miriam watched Hal carefully, trying to note his

reactions and any change in body language or actions. Hal
could feel her eyes upon him and continued to use his
coffee as an artistic canvas while measuring his words
carefully to respond.
"You could have driven wild horses or stampeded

elephants through my room last night. I was completely
out. Dead to the world! It was the first good sleep I'd
had in a few days. Thank God!"
Realizing the lie he had just told and how he had even
used God to validate his story, Hal felt a knot in the pit
of his stomach. He wanted to excuse himself and go back to
his room, but, Miriam was his boss, now. He thought about
that. He had just lied to his boss.
He assessed his current feelings, which were weighing

heavily upon his heart. It seemed that he was developing a
new pattern of behavior, which included being evasive,
covering up, and lying. Hal searched his soul. Had lying
been easy for him before this? If so, had he been aware of
it? Was he a hypocrite? He emphasized telling the truth
when reporting and writing his column, but, did he have
the same ethics when it came to his life? Was he as guilty
as those people he accused of being dishonest?
Trying to hide his true emotions, Hal changed the

subject.
"Oh! I met Arturo last night, when I came in! Boy, he's
a character, but a really nice guy! I mean, he's got a
very pleasant disposition and tries to be so helpful! He
really seems to enjoy his job. Don't you think so?"
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Miriam looked away, uninterested and agreed

halfheartedly.
"Yes. Tell me did you read the paper this morning?"
"Matter of fact, I did. Can you believe it, somebody

hacked Steven Wong's campaign computers! What a story!
It's all over the news! I wish I was in on the reporting!
But, I didn't think that was still possible--you know--

hacking. They must be using ancient software, computers,
or something!"
Hal intentionally laughed and went back to nursing his

cup of coffee.
"Did you and Auntie Yonny discuss it?"
"No, I thought about it, but, I didn't bring it up. I

had too many more pressing questions to ask her. And, I
figured somebody would tell her, anyway."
"More pressing questions?"
"Well, I mean, things concerning her past that we've

been talking about and...well...considering her
condition...you know..."
"Yes, I understand, she's dying and you can't waste

time."
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"Exactly!"
Miriam seemed to be satisfied with his answer, but, Hal

became increasingly more uncomfortable with his behavior
and needed to think.
"This isn't living, it's...it's...pretending and

acting," he thought to himself. "Am I becoming one of
those people I loathe, who have a million excuses to
defend their behavior and actions while they scrutinize
and criticize the behavior and actions of others? IS there
a justifiable reason for my present course of action or am
I just rationalizing? Are my methods headed for a positive
outcome or is it indeterminable? And will the outcome
ultimately change me in a negative or positive way?"
Hal tried to shrug it off as being overly analytical

and shifted his mind back to Miriam and the current
problem at hand, wondering, "What is she up to?" He
decided to ask.
"Miriam, what are your short-term and long-term plans

for me?"
Miriam looked at him inquisitively for a moment.
"Well, if you'd like to get our foundation and media

organization off the ground today, you can get in on the
excitement and go over to Wong's campaign headquarters and
find out who they're blaming for the hacking. Then,
sometime today contact the Madhatter's... oh, I sound like
Auntie Yonny, I mean, Tex Tiledeler's great granddaughter
to set up a meeting.
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I have a staffing agency working on getting you a

secretary, photographer and an assistant, but until then,
you'll have to wing it alone. And long-term goals? Well,
that's up to you, Hal. Is this what you want? Can you run
an empire? Is this who you are or want to become? Can you
maintain your integrity and your identity?
I told you what we're offering you. You have the

opportunity to help mold the minds and change the lives of
billions of people, ultimately, changing the world! Do you
see yourself as an innovator and revolutionary, or, are
you a writer who is all talk and no action?"
Staring into Miriam's eyes, Hal knew this was no

prepared speech. Perhaps there was a chance for him to
make a real and substantially huge contribution to
humanity, but, what would be the price he had to pay?
Nothing was ever free, free of adversity or,
inconsequential. He decided to take their candid
conversation a little further.
"I'd like to try to make a difference Miriam, but, a

lot depends on you being completely honest and open with
me. I don't like being used, thought of as a patsy, or in
the dark about something I'm involved in and accountable
for. I need to be in on decisions from the bottom up,
including concerning hiring those people who will work for
me or against me. I want to be in on any and all meetings
concerning me and our projects, until I have adequate,
trustworthy representatives."
And from somewhere deep inside of him, Hal added...
485
"And that means ALL meetings, no matter how late they

are."
Miriam's face drained of color and she stared blankly

at Hal.
"So, you were listening in?"
"Yes, and now that you know my capabilities, I hope

you'll end this charade and reveal yours. Who was your
visitor? What is the extent of danger that I am in and
with whom?
Also, if I have bodyguards, I want to know who they are

so that I don't think they're hostile, call the police on
them, or worse yet, injure or kill one of them."
"Oh, my, that thought never occurred to me!"
"Yes, I'm sure there are many things concerning my life

that you never thought of or didn't care about, Miriam."
"Wait Hal, that's not true. I just needed to take

precautions..."
"Precautions?! And MY life doesn't figure into your

precautions?!"
"No, Hal...I mean, OF COURSE, HAL!"
"Then, tell me about these precautions and EVERYTHING
486
ELSE that took precedence over MY life!"
"J-j-just calm down, Hal. Let's go someplace more

private and...and...I will."
Hal didn't like having to talk to Miriam so forcefully

and bluntly, but, he knew that these people lived by a
different code of ethics, where their needs, desires,
self-interests and self-preservation came first. If he was
going to have a chance at surviving this game, he had to
become the alpha-male calling the shots and making the
rules. But, as Miriam had put it, could he maintain his
integrity and identity? Could he intermingle within this
political jungle, without becoming intertwined? He wasn't
sure.
He needed something or someone to keep him focused and

balanced. Rachel...Rachel, how was she doing? Did she miss
him? There was no one he trusted more than Rachel. But,
could he involve her without endangering her life or
jeopardizing her career? Again, he was without certainty.
Nothing seemed certain anymore, except that there was no
place else he would rather be at this very moment, than,
with Rachel, holding her in his arms.
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Chapter 17
BURDENED Part I
28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are

heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for

I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find
rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
488
Pastors, Priests, Bishops, Evangelists, Teachers,

Apostles, Prophets and ALL Believers in God and Christ
Jesus, we all need to be able to answer one question
honestly and simply, with YES or NO. Did God sacrifice His
Son upon the cross to create a new religion? Where is your
proof? If yes, then, which religion--Christianity? Then,
which religion properly represents Christianity:
Catholicism, Protestantism, or perhaps a specific
denomination or sect?
Or, did God sacrifice His Son upon the cross to create
a NEW COVENANT? Where is your proof? Was the new covenant
only with Israel? How did the Gentiles become part of this
new covenant? These are things we need to know as
Believers, so that we aren't misled or swept into the
bondage of religion.
If we are living abundantly and eternally within a NEW

COVENANT, then, why have we burdened our Brothers and
Sisters, along with mankind, with religion?
Jeremiah 31:31-34(KJV)
31 Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that I

will make a new covenant with the house of Israel,
and with the house of Judah:
32 Not according to the covenant that I made with

their fathers in the day that I took them by the
hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt; which
my covenant they brake, although I was an husband
unto them, saith the Lord:
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33 But this shall be the covenant that I will make

with the house of Israel; After those days, saith
the Lord, I will put my law in their inward parts,
and write it in their hearts; and will be their God,
and they shall be my people.
34 And they shall teach no more every man his

neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know
the Lord: for they shall all know me, from the least
of them unto the greatest of them, saith the Lord:
for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will
remember their sin no more.
The Pharisee and Sadducee were guilty of burdening the

people, needlessly and living unholy lives, themselves.
Today, there are numerous religions spread across the
globe and the people remain...burdened and in bondage to
false doctrine and sinful lives.
Instead of the knowledge of God and Christ changing

lives around the world, worldly knowledge has placed a
burden upon countless lives, dragging them into bondage.
The people are crumbling under the pressure and weight of
the world upon their shoulders and have lost their way.
Many try to seek the Lord within the confines of the

church, however, instead of finding God and Christ, once
again, they are burdened, pressured and more weight is
piled upon their backs.
Is it that no one has truly shown these people who are

lost, confused, forgotten, shunned, etc., how to follow
Jesus to His and their Father? Not having been shown how
to find God, have we left them with no other choice other
than to return to the world...still, burdened?
490
Some people learn to temporarily unload their heavy

burdens and attend services knowing they can at least get
two hours of respite or temporary relief. Yet, upon
leaving their location marked as hallowed ground, they
load up their burdens and might even take upon some more
from the church. Then, weighed down, they return to the
ways of the world, still not following Christ...still,
burdened.
They believe they are following Jesus, at least, that's

what they're being told during worship service. However,
Jesus said, "My yoke is easy and my burden is light." So,
shouldn't following Jesus be less cumbersome? Then, why
are they still so burdened? Why do so many people see it
as a burden to attend church? Is it because they're
HOPELESS? Can NOTHING pull them out of the world? --Out of
bed? --Out of the house? Out of despair? --Out of
depression? Out of apathy? --Out of sin? Or, are they
just, too, burdened and they dread more burdens?
Who wouldn't dread being overly burdened with rules,

procedures, rituals, bylaws, more financial worries,
meetings, and long drawn out services that don't really
provide what you need or only temporarily alleviate your
problems? On top of all of that, you might have to deal
with scrutinizing eyes, gossiping lips and repeated
criticism for not faithfully attending or participating.
Who wants to sign up for the Christian Jubilee and end up
on the guilt trip? What makes this EASY Jesus and where is
Your light yoke?
In many communities, it seems that the drug houses are

getting fuller and the church pews are getting emptier. If
we allow our faith to wane, darkness will lead us to
believe that it is doing a new thing and taking over.
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However, IF we remain in the LIGHT, then, we can see that

it is GOD who is doing a NEW THING and darkness is only
trying to mimic God. Hallelujah!
We will MISS the new thing , if we remain in the dark!

We will MISS the new thing if we remain stubborn and
proud, unwilling to change our ways or listen to those
we've hardened our heart against. We will MISS the new
thing if we have not been made PERFECT in love. If we
cannot love and obey God, loving others as ourselves, we
will MISS the new thing and not be part of the REMNANT
entering into the Kingdom of God; for only the pure in
heart, shall see God.
What have we done to ourselves and the church to make

it so hard for many people to come into the House of the
Lord and whose fault is it? Where lies the blame?
In most cases, the institutionalization of the church

has removed God from the structural building and the
bodily temples of men. While, people have removed God from
their hearts, due to their PRIDE and love of the world.
Matthew 11: 16-19(KJV)
16 But whereunto shall I liken this generation? It

is like unto children sitting in the markets, and
calling unto their fellows,
17 And saying, We have piped unto you, and ye have

not danced; we have mourned unto you, and ye have
not lamented.
18 For John came neither eating nor drinking, and

they say, He hath a devil.
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19 The Son of man came eating and drinking, and they

say, Behold a man gluttonous, and a winebibber, a
friend of publicans and sinners. But wisdom is
justified of her children.
Time and time again, we find pastors and church members

blaming vacant church pews on absent church members. Yet,
if the Body of Christ were not WHOLE, it could not
function! IS Christ's Body incapacitated, disabled,
dysfunctional, impaired or impeded in any way? Will the
absenteeism of several or more church members cause the
Body of Christ to shut down?
How do we compensate for missing church members? What

must the shepherd do for lost or missing sheep? Who do
these people belong to? Who is their Master?
Questions, questions, always questions. Lord, we need

answers! What are we overlooking? What are we not seeing?
CHILDREN! It is not a matter of looking or seeing

something, but, SOMEONE! It is a matter of OVERCOMING! In
order to overcome you must first be BORN AGAIN to FOLLOW;
not something, but, HE, who overcame the world.
Now, some might say, "But, Father, I preached the word

to them and they came not and/or followed not! What more
can I do? I cannot make them come and follow!"
Yet, if God changes the wind to blow East, why do you

keep your sail turned to the South? GOD IS DOING A NEW
THING! As He ALWAYS does, God sifts the wheat from the
tares. Why do we fret when we see our cup almost empty?
Did God not fill it to begin with?
493
The ability of our cup to hold more has not diminished.

Neither has God's ability to fill it. God is IDENTIFYING
ANOTHER DEFICIT--OUR FAITH!
Oh, we of little faith, who cry out, when the wolf has
stolen the sheep, or prevented them from following! God
has not forsaken us! Nonetheless, He expects us to do more
than just REACT negatively to this new event! He expects
us to ACT and act in a positive way! Therefore, the
shepherd must act in accordance to the Master's wishes and
follow a new path to find the lost sheep, instead of
expecting the lost or stolen sheep to return upon their on
volition.
THE BODY OF CHRIST HAS NOT AND WILL NOT CHANGE.
Within this NEW THING, God is moving to AWAKEN the

sleeping and calling the institutional church to find its
IDENTITY, EMPOWERMENT and TRUE FAITH IN and LOVE FOR
CHRIST!
The institutional church must decide WHO it will SERVE
and WHO it will FOLLOW!
God has taken its temperature and checked its heart. It

is neither hot or cold and its heart is still in the
world.
God finds His sheep lost, confused, and not healed. Can
we blame the sheep, or, is it time for the institutional
church to wake up and remove the veil from its eyes and
the shackles from its feet? Will God's sheep wander
endlessly, in vain, looking for greener pastures?
494
GREENER PASTURES
Perhaps, the sheep have wandered off to greener

pastures. How do we convince the sheep to come home?
Should we try to entice the sheep with an even greener
pasture? How do we give account to the Master for allowing
His sheep to wander off because we neglected to properly
feed the sheep and provide for their needs?
Or was it that the sheep weren't properly trained or

could not see and appreciate the nourishment God had
provided for them? Hence, they were easily misled into
believing someone else could better provide for them or
they were better off taking care of themselves?
WHAT WAS MISSING FOR THE SHEEP TO STRAY AND NEVER WANT
TO RETURN? TRAINING? OBEDIENCE?
WERE THEY JUST BAD SHEEP?
THE BURDEN OF PROOF
One day, a shepherd took his Master's sheep out to

pasture to graze. He noticed one sheep wandering off and
angrily asked him where he was going, not really expecting
the sheep to answer. However, unknowingly, to the
shepherd, the sheep did answer.
"Baa, greener pastures," said the sheep.
Since the shepherd thought the Master had many sheep

and too many to take care of all by himself, he let the
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sheep wander off, then, scolded all the sheep who had
stayed, for what the one sheep did.
That evening, the shepherd returned home with the sheep

and the Master was waiting to get an account of all of the
sheep He had entrusted to the shepherd's care.
Reluctantly, the shepherd told the Master that he had lost
one sheep and gave the excuse that there were just too
many sheep for one shepherd.
The next day, the shepherd was preparing to take the

sheep out to the pasture, when the Master called to him.
He was standing with a young boy. He told him that the
young boy was well-trained and he would be helping him
with the sheep everyday, from now on.
The shepherd looked at the boy and thought, "What can

he do? He's just a boy and nobody is as good as I am with
the Master's sheep and nobody is going to take my place!
We'll see about this boy helping me. I didn't ask for him.
This boy is just another burden."
When they reached the pasture, the shepherd sat under a

shady tree and called to the boy. The boy was happy to be
asked to come sit with him.
"Why did the Master send you to help me? You're just a
boy! You're not even trained to be a shepherd! What can
you do?!" He angrily asked the boy.
The boy kept smiling. "I can talk to the sheep and
understand their hearts."
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The shepherd laughed at the boy. He had never heard of

such a thing.
"You need me to teach you about sheep and shepherding,"

he boastfully told the boy.
"Only a shepherd can teach you about the Master and how
to take care of His sheep. I don't need your help and I
don't want it! You're just a burden! Now, go on, get out
of here!"
The boy walked over to the sheep and started singing to

them and they began to follow him. The shepherd's heart
hardened. He didn't want the sheep following anyone's
voice but his. He called to the boy and told him to sit
under the tree. He decided never to give the boy a chance
to talk to the sheep again.
The family of sheep the boy had been singing to decided

they'd go someplace where they could hear singing. The
shepherd asked them where they were going, not really
expecting an answer. All they did was baa and ignore the
shepherd.
The shepherd hardened his heart and thought, "If they

ignore me, I'll ignore them. If they won't talk to me, I
won't talk to them. If they criticize me, I'll criticize
them. I don't need to know why they left or, if they're
coming back, and, I don't care what they think of me! They
don't know anything anyway and they don't want anybody to
teach them anything! I'm just here until I can go to a
better job. They're just a burden and not worth my
trouble. That's how I'll deal with that!"
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But, that evening, when the shepherd brought the sheep

home, the Master wanted an account of all the sheep. When
He saw that some of the sheep that had been entrusted to
the shepherd were missing, He asked where and how long the
shepherd had looked for the missing sheep. He also, wanted
to know how and why they went missing, as the shepherd had
the boy to help him watch over the flock.
The shepherd blamed the missing sheep on the boy.
"Did the sheep say anything?" The Master asked the boy.
"They wanted to hear music. They said they were going

to find greener pastures where the shepherds were allowed
to sing."
"The boy's not even a shepherd," the shepherd blurted

out.
"The boy has a different gift that's needed. That's why

I sent him. Let the boy sing tomorrow."
The shepherd hung his head down in shame, hardened his

heart, and secretly resented the boy.
The next morning, the boy was waiting at the gate,

eager to take the sheep to the field. When the shepherd
saw the boy, he pretended to be kind to him in front of
the Master, but, when he thought they were well out of
sight and hearing, he once again began to belittle the
boy.
The boy sang all the way to the pasture and the sheep
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obediently followed. The jealous shepherd called loudly to

the sheep, making sure they heard his voice, too.
When they reached the field, the shepherd split the

sheep up into two flocks. He gave one flock to the little
boy, then, sat under the shady tree. The boy began to
single each sheep out individually and talk to them
lovingly, listening to them baa in reply.
A group of sheep from the shepherd's flock began baaing

and leaving the pasture. The shepherd yelled after them,
"Where do you think you're going?" --Not, really expecting
an answer.
One sheep stopped momentarily and bleated loudly

towards the boy.
The shepherd hardened his heart and thought, "If they

ignore me, I'll ignore them. If they won't talk to me, I
won't talk to them. If they criticize me, I'll criticize
them. I don't need to know why they left or, if they're
coming back, and, I don't care what they think of me! They
don't know anything anyway and they don't want anybody to
teach them anything! I'm just here until I can go to a
better job. They're just a burden and not worth my
trouble. That's how I'll deal with that!"
That evening they returned to the Master's house and

the Master was waiting to get an account of His sheep.
When He saw His small flock of sheep He was truly
saddened.
The shepherd prepared a lie intending to blame the

losses upon the boy and wolves, but, the Master did not
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ask him anything.
Instead He asked the boy, "What was in my sheep's heart

today?"
The boy answered, "They said they wanted to be truly

loved like You love them."
The shepherd hung his head down in shame and admitted

that he had let them wander off and didn't bother to look
for them. The Master opened the gate for the sheep and the
boy to enter, then, closed it to shut the shepherd out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jeremiah 31(KJV)
Matthew 11(KJV)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Chapter 17
Part 2 BURDENED:
"JESUS LOVES ME, THIS I KNOW"
John 13, 23, 34, 35(KJV)
13 Now before the feast of the passover, when

Jesus knew that his hour was come that he
should depart out of this world unto the
Father, having loved his own which were in the
world, he loved them unto the end.
23 Now there was leaning on Jesus' bosom one of

his disciples, whom Jesus loved.
34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye

love one another; as I have loved you, that ye
also love one another.
35 By this shall all men know that ye are my

disciples, if ye have love one to another.
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"CHILDREN! It is not a matter of looking or seeing

something, but, SOMEONE! It is a matter of
OVERCOMING! In order to overcome you must first be
BORN AGAIN to FOLLOW; not something, but, HE, who
overcame the world."
Brethren,
What is our true goal as Disciples? Is it to attach

people to a building, an organization, membership, a
pastor, a routine and rituals? Or, is our true goal to
attach people to God and Christ?
If we attach people to God and Christ, they will ALWAYS

be in fellowship for...
1 John 1:7
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light,

we have fellowship one with another, and the blood
of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
When God is doing a NEW THING, He will no longer settle

for the COUNTERFEIT, nor will He fill old wine skins with
new wine. He seeks TRUE WORSHIPPERS, those who worship in
SPIRIT and in TRUTH! Why should He want anything less and
just settle for empty bodies that have not been born again
and filled with His Holy Spirit? If His plan is to make
changes, then, what use is it for us to continue to kick
against the goad? Instead of blaming and complaining, we
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should always seek the Will of God.
Why a 'NEW THING' ? God sees that many of His servants

do not understand Discipleship, or have chosen to abandon
our responsibility and commission to go out and make
DISCIPLES. Yet, we have not been commissioned to just sit
in a building and wait for people to come ask to join a
membership within an institution still clinging to the
world, or masquerading as the Body of Christ. Yes, there
are many wearing the garments of purity, but neither have
their hearts been cleansed nor their eyes unblinded to see
that God has been doing a NEW THING.
When God is doing a new thing, a situation may appear

to be negative. However, we must never forget how much He
and Jesus love us. What God allows to happen is because of
His love for us and NOTHING can remove His or Jesus' love
for us.
Romans 8:38,39(KJV)
38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life,

nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor
things present, nor things to come,
39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature,

shall be able to separate us from the love of God,
which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Since our Father only wants good things for His

Children, then, we must look at adversity in a positive
way, so that we do not allow ourselves to be separated or
torn asunder from our marriage to Christ Jesus.
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Those members not filling pews have a reason for being

absent in body and/or in spirit. Those who are absent only
in body understand the function of the Body of Christ.
Those who are absent in body and spirit, might be
uninformed or misinformed as to their purpose within the
Body of Christ.
ARE they DISCIPLES and part of the BODY OF CHRIST? Do

they FOLLOW Him and think with the Mind of Christ? Have
they truly been joined to Christ? If not, then, what more
can we EXPECT from people who see themselves as members of
an organization where they are not a vital part of the
BODY of Christ? They will be absent in body and in spirit.
As servants of God, we must realize that it's not about

how well we preach or how long we spent preparing for our
duties to GOD. And we must never burden others by putting
guilt or obligation upon them for what we have been called
to do and should do freely and willingly for Christ and
the Kingdom of God. If we do, it proves that what we are
doing is not for the Kingdom, but for self.
No, instead, our willingness to serve is compelled by

His perfection within us which gives us an understanding
that it is about our love for God's people and that love
must be the love of Christ within us. We serve remembering
that only what we do for Christ will last. Our
responsibility as our brother's keeper is to make him
accountable to God and in doing so, we become accountable
to one another.
Therefore, we must not let PRIDE rule us, thinking WE

own the Master's sheep and can do as we please with them.
Or, that the Master's sheep should be accountable to us
first or only for the sake of the institutional church.
Thus, HUMBLENESS must temper our hearts and set us at our
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tasks, not for the love of self, but, for the love of our
neighbors, for love of God, and for the love of Christ
Jesus!
Pride will keep us hiding from TRUTH! Our hardened

heart will make us believe that every word uttered to us
by those we've hardened our heart against is spoken in
unkindness, bitterness and hatred and is meant to harm or
destroy us.
However, God uses whom He chooses to exhort and correct

His Children and no one in any walk of life, station or
calling is exempt to His chastisement. Often, we question
why others do not accept our instruction, constructive
criticism or correction, but, we, ourselves, hesitate to
accept or completely reject that of others. Let us be
mindful that we lead by EXAMPLE and if people see that we
do not follow and adhere to our own instructions and
advice, but, would rather condemn the messenger, they will
not follow. Even a shepherd must listen to and heed the
needs of the sheep within his care, for God also takes
time to listen, speak to them and grant their desires and
wishes. Are we, as servants, above God?
When all or part of us is separated from God, God sends

a messenger to make us feel His presence.
We find Paul often wishing he could be present in body

with the churches in which he fellowshipped, preached, and
instructed. Yet, he continues to stay in contact, letting
them know he is present in Spirit.
When we become Born Again, we are indwelled with God's

Holy Spirit, uniting us as ONE. We become a member of
Christ's Body. Neither time nor space can sever or
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separate us spiritually from He who has claimed us.
As Christ's Ambassadors and part of His Body, we are in

constant fellowship in the LIGHT. We seek out fellowship
with others at ALL TIMES, not just on a specific Holy Day,
for that is part of the FUNCTION of the Body of Christ. We
never cease functioning.
Are people being properly taught how the Body of Christ

FUNCTIONS? Or, is it that the Body's function is CONTRARY
to, or in COMPETITION, with the overall function of the
institutional church and its leaders who seek to maintain
CONTROL over their members?
What are we INSTILLING in God's people?! God doesn't

seek to control us or the Body of Christ.
God KNEW that Adam and Eve had disobeyed and eaten the
forbidden fruit, not only because they were HIDING, but
because they were FILLED with GUILT and SHAME, which He
did not instill within them. The darkness of the adversary
had stolen their innocence and CONVINCED them they were
CONDEMNED! STILL, God did not seek to CONTROL them.
What is the institutional church instilling when it

blames its members for its empty pews?
Perhaps, the members aren't just absent, but, in

HIDING, because they're in sin.
Where does their sin stem from? Is it their discontent?

Perhaps, they expect to get MORE out of church for
whatever reason. It may be SELFISH reasons, or it may be
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that they simply lack the One thing that could help them.
Are we to be convinced that repeatedly attending

service is guaranteed to save them and make them WHOLE?
Evidence of people spending a lifetime in church and never
changing speaks volumes that this is contrary to the
facts.
Some people come to church with a wall of PRIDE

surrounding them and embedded deep inside of them and no
amount of consistent or persistent drilling is going to
uproot it. One has to get to the root of the problem
first.
Yes, people are HIDING, but, is it because they know

the TRUTH about their sin? Do they really realize what is
keeping them in sin? Did Adam and Eve know the TRUTH about
their sin? NO!
They had been blinded by darkness and separated from
God! This is why Jesus was sent as the Word of God,
suffered, was crucified, died, was buried, rose again and
sits at the right hand of God. God KNEW that the people
were in sin, but, He knew He had to get to the ROOT of the
problem. He couldn't just BLAME the people and CONDEMN
them. Their SEPARATION from Him was rooted in darkness and
blindness.
So what are we TRULY concerned about when there are

less people sitting in the pews or under the roof of
worship? Are we more concerned about how it reflects upon
US, our reputation and abilities? Are we looking at the
state of the treasury or the offices and stations of duty?
Does the pastor feel it reflects upon his ability to
minister to the people or preach? Does the choir believe
it reflects upon their ability to sing or perform? Should
507
fewer people affect our ability to worship?
What is our chief concern, the institutional church or

the souls of the absent people? If our concern is truly
for THEIR SOULS and not our own self-image and the needs
of the institutional church, then, like GOD, we don't play
the blame game, we go for the root of the problem! WE SEND
JESUS! And, since we are His Ambassadors, we let the sheep
know that we love them like GOD loves them, Amen!
Oh, how we have burdened ourselves, needlessly, unable

to see that not only are the absent lacking something and
spiritually ill, but, we too have been BLINDED and are in
need of HEALING. Yet, we point our finger at our Brothers
and Sisters and shake our head to shame them and fill them
with guilt.
DISCIPLESHIP and RELATIONSHIPS, this is the method God

chose to deliver His people because this was the GOAL all
along- - a RELATIONSHIP with God, their Father. WE are to
show others how to have this intimate and loving
relationship that will keep them from sin, guilt, shame
and HIDING, unable to live life in the Kingdom of God,
abundantly and eternally, and unable to grasp the concept
of unconditional love to the point of blessed eternity.
Let us not put a STUMBLING BLOCK before our neighbor,

preventing them from reaching God. Let us not burden one
another with thought, word, or deed. Let us not point a
finger at our Brethren, when God has created the rest to
point back to us. Instead, let us part with our own agenda
and do as we see the FATHER DO. Let us use our hand to
help and our heart to love, being an example of Christ,
taking God's word to all those who are sick and heavy
laden to help them find rest in the Lord. THIS is the TRUE
function of the BODY of Christ for it walks in the LIGHT,
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under the MIND OF CHRIST, doing what HE DOES, obeying and

emulating our Father.
Why did Jesus say we cannot set our hands to the plow
and look back? Why did His Disciples have to leave
everything behind, including their families? Why did Paul
say that as Disciples, it was better that we didn't marry?
Were they being cruel and heartless or was there a GREATER
purpose?
We must decide what and WHO comes first in our lives;

for,"We (as servants of God) have a charge to keep and a
God to glorify." It is not that we care less for others,
we care MORE for the lives of others than ourselves,
knowing we are KEPT forever, by Jesus, in abundant and
everlasting life.
If we are truly concerned about dying or dead churches,

we must see them for what they are, unhealthy or dead
branches that God has or will cut off from the Vine. Could
we have saved them? Perhaps, if it was God's Will. But, if
God removed them because they refused to change, produced
bitter fruit, out of season, or became diseased or
separated from the Vine, then, we must accept the Will of
God. But, if God sends a messenger, then, that means there
is hope. What must we do to PLEASE GOD and not ourselves?
What must we do to stay connected to the Vine?
Jesus prepared a way for those who would follow Him. He

sent helpers to work along with The Helper to PREPARE THE
SAINTS. God's WORD is TRUTH and not to be taken lightly!
Let us humbly submit our Will and OBEY!
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If we should preach Christ, then, let us come to truly

KNOW Christ, not only within scripture, but in spirit, or
become OFFENDED by He, Who is a Two-edged Sword, able to
divide the soul and the spirit. The Word of God is Alive!
Let Him be alive in us!
Hebrews 4 (KJV)
For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and

sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to
the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the
joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the
thoughts and intents of the heart.
My Brothers and Sisters, His yoke IS easy and His

burden IS light; for our Father knows how much we can
bear, thus, there is no condemnation for those who obey
His will and follow His Way. He lightens our heart and
fills it with joy; joy unspeakable that comes from knowing
that you are within HIS will, not BURDENED with needless
cares and woe.
Father, we thank you for Your Will and Your Way, which
brightens our pathway and lightens our load. That you
would not have us laden with heaviness upon our backs and
upon our hearts, shows how much you care for each and
everyone of us. Fill our hearts, Lord with that same love
for one another, so that present or absent from one
another, we cling to the Vine, bearing Good Fruit to share
and fellowship together, as we walk in Your Light.
"Bless the Lord, OH, my soul! And, ALL that is within

me! Bless His Holy, Holy Name!
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For He has done GREAT things! For He has done GREAT

things! For He has done GREAT things!
Bless His Holy Name!" Amen
with love and joy, your servant and soldier, united with
the One
mishael
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
John 13(KJV)
Romans 8(KJV)
1 John 1(KJV)
Hebrews 4(KJV)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Episode 15
AUNTIE YONNY: THE REALITY OF HELL
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Episode 15
AUNTIE YONNY: THE REALITY OF HELL
After leaving the meeting with Miriam, Hal wondered

what kind of world these people lived in where honesty,
truth and reality didn't matter. How had they come to
exist and endure under such terms? --And worst of all,
would it happen to him? He spent the next hour in his
room, lying across his bed, staring at his socks on the
floor and thinking...
"Does one just wake up one day and find themselves in

an alternate reality? --Or perhaps, the mind begins to
physically function on another level or plane of spiritual
existence within a darkened realm of cognitive thinking
where one must have an aptitude for egocentricism fed by a
narcissistic personality. Hmmm...
That's a pretty accurate description of the prince of

lies.
My, my, my, is Hal Siegfried going all spiritual on me?

Am I acknowledging, not only the existence of God, Satan,
heaven and hell, but, the fact that there are people
willingly controlled by evil and even committed to
spreading its will and hold upon others, to achieve their
own goals? And why couldn't I see all of this so clearly
before? Did I have to be thrust into a cauldron of brewing
deception and lies to understand the underlying structure
of this man-made alternate universe?
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Or, perhaps it's not that simple and there are several
reasons why people end up accepting a world of deception.
Perhaps, they were born into that world, or, thrust into
it and know no other way to think and behave.
Actually, haven't we all been born into a world where

people have created their own reality, calling it society
or giving it any name to their liking. And, in the man-
made created society, they choose what to call truths and
what to call untruths, even to the point of defying the
physical laws of nature, if they desire.
Eventually, reality and society become how we perceive

it. Most of us don't even question what it society really
is. We seek to change its laws, but, often fail to see
that the underlying problem is the structure and weak
foundation of society.
We are told that this is what and how society is, then,
given the criteria and laws to know what is expected of us
in order to fit into it. We're told to concentrate on the
physical aspects as they relate to the flesh--our carnal
selves, in order to appease society and maintain its
status quo.
No wonder people are able to manipulate this reality

and other people so well, when practically everyone has
been preprogrammed and brainwashed to react and respond in
a specific way, but, not necessarily the right way.
Society has no definite structure, no consistent shape,

no constant or finite value. People can frame their social
world from their own reality."
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Hal thought about the meeting he had just had with

Miriam and again, things were beginning to look much
clearer, but, at the same time giving him reason to
proceed with caution.
"Is that what she and the Graves are trying to do again
and using me to do it? Did Derek Graves have a different
idea of what the world and reality should be and that's
why they wanted him out of the presidential race?
Am I expected to make reality and the world into what

this faction of the Graves Family wants it to be?"
Hal ran his fingers through his hair then clinched it

in his usual fashion when he was at his wits end. What did
all of this mean? The Graves were still trying to expand
their own little kingdom into an empire where the wealthy
had the power to control and manipulate everything,
changing the rules and reality as they saw fit to fit
their needs. It wasn't an act of charity. It was still
anarchy. They believed the world belonged to the wealthy
elite to mold into their image.
But, Rachel would say that that's not the case with the
Kingdom of God. God created the world and placed people
upon it to be part of His Kingdom; a Kingdom of only one
reality, the reality of truth. Nothing is real, unless it
is based on truth, God's truth which never changes,
because God never changes."
Hal reached for his cellphone in his back pocket and

looked up the attributes of God.
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"Aha, that's what I'm looking for, immutability! I just

couldn't remember the word. God is immutable, never-
changing! He is the same yesterday, today and forever!
You can't make His Kingdom into what YOU want it to be.
It belongs to God, created by God, and it is based on
clear, definite, godly principles that can ONLY be derived
from TRUTH, which and who is God. So, this man-made
society can only be perceived as a malleable illusion, for
it can't possibly be part of God's Kingdom, which like God
is Truth, which cannot change!
This is how we live in the world but do not become OF

the world!"
Seeing the world in a different light through new eyes,

Hal heaved a big exasperated sigh and spoke out.
"WOW! Where did that come from, Hal?"
The urge to call Rachel was even more compelling. He

started scrolling through his contacts until he came to
her name. Then, he looked at the time. Certainly, she'd be
trying to get everyone's column to press to meet the
deadline. It was a bad time to call. Probably the worst.
Plopping the cellphone on the bed, he returned to silent
meditation and self-deliberation.
"With all of this existentialism and self-awareness

talk, I'm beginning to wonder if I'm dealing with reality,
but, what else can I contribute this kind of behavior to?
I mean, these people aren't insane by all of the textbook
definition of insanity. Yet, it is a type of insanity.
Insanity brought on by living in sin.
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What I'm thinking may sound like a fictional horror

story, but, it's being played out as a real life drama,
staged to keep everyone guessing and doubting, and
questioning their next move, which I don't believe THEY
always know, because they're blinded from God's truth.
But, the rationale of their behavior is to create an
illusion, a smoke screen, or heavy veil; and not only to
distort self-reality to confuse onlookers, but hoping to
confuse true reality itself, which is irrational if you
believe and are able to see that God is Truth, which never
changes. Nevertheless, it is Satan's greatest trick, which
he performs over and over again on man and it never gets
old.
He is still able to fool people the same way, making

you wonder if man is just that dumb, or, is evil and man's
pride just that powerful? Then again, perhaps it isn't a
question of Satan's power over man's overpowering pride,
but, instead, the two weaknesses coming together as an
attraction to one another.
Then, that would mean the prideful are under a false

impression or illusion of being powerful, which explains
their ignorance and inevitable fall. They haven't ENDURED
at all, but, are living a life of failure, having rejected
the truth, even after they were exposed to it. God gives
them chances and choices to make, along with the
opportunity to humble themselves, repent, and receive
salvation, just like He does for everyone else."
He made a mental note to discuss these thoughts and

pose some questions about reality and society to Rachel
one day to see what she thought about.
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"Then...we know that there is an opposite to

everything; an antithesis--the ying and yang. The opposite
to truth is lies. The opposite to heaven is hell. It
disqualifies any doubt or question as to the definition of
reality and facts. There are no alternate facts or
alternate realities. There is only truth and lies. Even if
you try to color the lie white, it's still a lie and sin.
These people were raised having everything and

believing they deserved even more. To receive more, you
have to limit the rations to the poor and make them work
harder for what they get, while they're working to make
you richer.
In the eyes of these people, doing good is whatever you

do to benefit yourself. For them, even giving to charity
is somehow driven by the need to preserve their wealth and
make themselves feel better. Whatever anyone else does has
been to benefit THEM and that even goes for God. So, it's
alright to believe in God. It's actually a good thing,
because, God works for THEM. He can even control the
masses. Therefore, they need God, to use Him and make Him
work for THEIR KINGDOM.
It all makes sense to these rich illusionist, who see

their alternate reality as having elevated them above
everyone else to create and maintain what they see as a
Utopian society for the rich and deserving. Yet, some rich
people manage not to become corrupted. Is it because they
remain humble and humbled always before God?"
Hal thought about his Grandpa Siegfried who he was so

close to. What had happened in his young life to make him
stray so far away from his grandfather's teachings and
stop worshiping God? He remembered holding his hand in the
hospital, when he died. Refusing to go to church for
518
months after the funeral, he only acquiesced to support

his still grieving father, who seemed to be worse off than
him.
By the sorrowful look in his father's eyes, Hal knew he

was becoming more and more worried about him not going to
school, his falling grades in school and disinterest in
friends and family. Hal chose to put on a good face and
accompany his father to church, rather than to be the
cause of more hurt and pain. However, seeing someone else
standing in the pulpit preaching was only a constant
reminder of his grandfather's permanent absence, so, Hal
tried to tune everything out and concentrate on something
else. Still, he had fresh memories of his upbringing by
this loving minister, who had lost and suffered so much.
His life was a sharp contrast to that of the Graves family
members. The truth that he lived by--God's truth, was
unchanging.
"I was brought up as a child to understand that if I

wanted to be successful in life I must be honest, work
hard, love and obey God and do good things. However, this
family I'm involved with and people like them have been
brought up believing they are the elite in society who
live in a higher social realm which has earned them the
right to live by a different standard and dictate the
standards of others. To them, it is simply part of getting
what they want and keeping what they have because they are
more deserving.
Lying is simply a way to give orders to those beneath

you who don't understand that you must come first,
because, you are more deserving and powerful. The liar is
simply stating what they expect people to believe in order
for them to serve their needs. They believe their lies are
just and worth it, because their lies will benefit
519
everyone by saving them. They may even see themselves as

being stronger than others because they are willing to
carry the burden of lies, making them worthy of different
or lower standards and being above the law. In their eyes
their wealth benefits everyone and will reward the
believers of their lies. So, they believe they aren't
doing any harm to themselves or anyone else when they lie.
Lying is a necessity to make the lower class understand
their place in society and that they exist simply to serve
the rich. Since, money gives them power over you, they are
free to say and do as they please. Your life only matters
in its capacity to benefit them.
Those who embrace their lies are knowingly or

unknowingly, obedient servants of this exclusive echelon
of the rich and they are happy to run and fetch, to
receive a bone and a pat on the head, or too weak,
desperate, or beaten down, knowing they can only survive
through subservience and obedience to appease the desire
of their master. They are stripped of their dignity and
robbed of their humanity to become beast of burden to
carry a heavy load laden with lies, guilt and shame."
Hal clinched his hair again and rolled over on his back
staring at the ceiling. He knew he had to do something to
fight against this anarchy, but, what and how and how
would he keep from being dragged under in the undertow of
this destructive wave? He decided to find time to talk to
Rachel the next day and see her if possible. Meanwhile,
he'd try to devise a plan and find a way to talk to Derek
Graves about Miriam, Tanya, and the late night visitor.
Hal sat up on the bed, looked at his new laptop Miriam

had sent to his room, sprung to his feet and grabbed his
backpack containing his notes from the visit to Wong's
campaign headquarters and the brief call he had made to
520
Natalie Tiledeler, the Mad Hatter's great granddaughter.

It was time to be a reporter again.
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Episode 16
AUNTIE YONNY: "Cry 'Havoc'!
And Let Loose the Dogs of War"
522

Episode 16
AUNTIE YONNY: "Cry 'Havoc'!
And Let Loose the Dogs of War"
Unable to concentrate on writing anymore, Hal decided

to call it a night and go to bed. He looked at the clock,
it was late, too late to call Rachel. She was probably
asleep.
He tossed and turned in the bed for a few minutes, not

sure if he was wrestling with being uncomfortable or with
what he was thinking and feeling. Then, he literally tried
to shine some light on the subject by turning the lamp on
to illuminate the problem, since there was no use in
staring at the dark ceiling. His mind was racing as if it
was trying to outrun what his heart was feeling. Sure the
bed was cozy and more comfortable than his could ever be,
but, this wasn't his room. He was currently living out of
a hospital. His living quarters came with a personal chef.
He was eating better than he had ever eaten. Room service
was great and he had everything at his disposal, but...it
could never feel like home. Plus, he felt there was no
separation between his work-space and living space as
presently, this facility served as both.
"Living in such a physically and emotionally sterile

environment could drive anybody crazy. How can I possibly
endure these people and this place?"
523
Allowing his emotions to lead him and without giving it

another thought, he dialed Rachel's number.
"Hello Rache. Were you asleep?"
Rachel laughed softly. In Hal's mind it was sultry and

sexy.
"Not anymore, Hal. What's up?"
"I'm sorry, Rache. I shouldn't have called so late. I

can call you sometime this evening."
"No, I'm awake now. Is everything alright? -You okay,

Hal?"
"Yes and no. I mean, I'm okay physically, but, this new
job is...well...it's a challenge and I'm living and
working out of a hospital. I still have my apartment, but,
I need to have access to Tanya Yanovich.
Things are, well, not what they seem. These people

think and live differently. I don't know how long I can
endure this lifestyle. I was hoping you could help me
devise some type of strategy.
Rachel thought about it for a few seconds. Endurance,

what could she tell Hal about endurance?
Well Hal, when Jesus walked the earth, how did He

endure people and the world? HE NEVER FORGOT WHO HE WAS.
He knew He was the Son of God.
524
What I have been given and what you have been given
belongs to God. He created it and if it's good enough for
Him, it's definitely good enough for man and the world!
What matters is how we use it!
God created and gave me and you our gifts and formed
who we are. I've got to remind myself every morning and
throughout the day that I AND ALL OF THIS BELONGS TO
GOD!!! AND
If I try to be who I was not meant to be (if I'm mean,
impatient, beat down, depressed, vindictive, giving up),
then, I am not being who God created me to be and I cannot
endure and that's where ALL the real problems arise and
continue. But, if I, who have been created and then born
again of His Spirit allow the character of God to be
manifested through me, then, I can say to the storms in my
life, "peace be still."
I no longer believe I must DEAL with people and the

world, because I start out VICTORIOUS, knowing it's
finished within me and no one can mess with that.
If I had insecurities I had to overcome, it was to help

somebody else who has insecurities. Maybe I'm experiencing
trouble today so to remind me of what God can do and has
done in my life or so that my heart is prepared to help
someone else who is experiencing trouble today.
God had the priests of the temple wear special garments

to remind them of who they were; what He had done for the
people of Israel; who they served; and that they had to be
Holy and Righteous in order to be His vessels.
525
Now, that I am reborn, I don't need to wear special

garments every day, I need only to cling to the garment of
Christ within me to know WHO I am in Christ and that I
SERVE God, Almighty! Hallelujah! So, if God be for me,
then, who can be against me, meaning, I have been
empowered to ENDURE! For He that endureth until the end
shall have everlasting life.
Endurance cannot be a question or a possibility! It

must be a REALITY which becomes a FRAME OF MIND EACH DAY!
I must claim my endurance and I must claim my
everlasting life!
Even Jesus needed to get away all to himself to cleanse

himself of the world and be refreshed. Knowing that His
Father knew all about His troubles. What did He do to
endure? He prayed to His Father.
We are sons and daughters of God and this is what we

must do, also. NEVER forget WHO you are! Have a
RELATIONSHIP with God to know who and what God has created
you to be.
Then, as we go about our day we must never forget who

we serve and ALL that we do must be done in love for the
GLORIFICATION of God. Then, we shall OVERCOME and we shall
endure."
Hal remembered how he used to tune Rachel out when she

gave these preachy speeches and began to understand why
she finally shut him out. But tonight, He needed to hear
what she had to say. He was open to it now and desperately
seeking balance in his life, which, his grandfather would
say could only come from God. So, what he was really
526
seeking was a relationship with God.
He didn't know why, but, he'd never shared the fact

that his grandfather was a minister with Rachel or his
childhood attending church and listening to his sermons.
When his grandfather died, he had lost more than someone
he deeply loved. He had lost his faith in God.
"Rachel?"
"Yes, Hal?"
"Can I...can I ask you something?"
"Now Hal, you ought to know by now that you can ask me
anything."
Moments went by and Hal somewhat unnerved by what could

happen to Rachel if she became entangled in the Graves'
web of lies and deception, lost his nerve to confide in
her. Instead, he blurted out the unexpected.
"I love you, Rachel."
Rachel gasped, then giggled.
"Is that a question Hal?" she teased. "Are you asking

me or telling me?"
Hal was glad it wasn't a video call. He was sure that

he looked as embarrassed as he felt. Perhaps, some things
527
are better left unsaid when you can't follow through on

them, but, he could try to retract his confession without
doing further harm.
"I'm sorry, Rachel. Forget I said that. I guess I'm

feeling kind of vulnerable. You know... new job...new
living arrangement...missing everybody at The Daily. I
need to be around old friends. Uh...may I come see you
tomorrow?"
Rachel didn't answer right away. She knew what he was

asking and why. Her heart wanted to say yes and she was
tired of being alone, but, she remembered her
disappointment with Hal the last time they had dated. He
just didn't see her, really see her, neither was he
interested in the spiritual aspect that made up her being.
She wouldn't settle for a superficial relationship, or try
to become what someone else wanted her to be. Hal just
couldn't see that this world she lived and worked in just
wasn't her home. But, Hal was her friend. He needed her
and as Christ's ambassador, she had the desire and the
responsibility to help those in need and draw others to
Christ to follow in discipleship. It was not up to her to
decide if Hal was ready or if he was worthy.
"Would you come to worship this weekend with me, Hal?"
Filled with emotion, Hal quietly, without having

reservations said yes. His voice cracked under the strain,
having feared rejection as he anxiously awaited Rachel's
answer.
Not hearing Hal's quiet reply, Rachel started her usual

explanation about fellowship and how it could help Hal
endure.
528
"Fellowship in the Body of Christ exists to aid us in

endurance. We walk in the Light of God in fellowship as we
endure together. After a long and exhausting day or week I
can just breathe and relax when I fellowship with others
in spirit or in body. I pray and thank God for the day,
even my trials and tribulations and count it all as joy,
knowing God will refresh me and restore my joy."
Hal cleared his throat and spoke louder.
"Yes, Rachel, I said yes."
"Oh, I'm sorry...I...uh...didn't hear you say anything.

Yes? Why, that's wonderful, Hal?! Yes!"
Rachel began to laugh and Hal found himself laughing

with her, relieved and free of tension.
Suddenly, a blaring alarm interrupted the conversation.

The mutually therapeutic laughter was short-lived as the
two reporters reacted to the sound of breaking news.
"I've got to go Rachel. -Sounds like something is

happening."
"Of course, Hal. Let me know if everything is alright."
"Will do. I'll call tomorrow to get details about our

date. Bye."
529
This time it was Rachel left wide awake and staring at

the ceiling.
"Date? He sees this as going on a date? Father, did I

make a mistake in agreeing to see him again and asking him
to go to worship? Is he just using this as an excuse to
date me and get me into bed with him?"
Minutes went by and Rachel continued to torment herself

with the idea of being used by Hal. She blamed herself for
being so weak when it came to him and wished she hadn't
answered the phone. If he called back, she said she
wouldn't answer and explain later, if she saw him again,
that she fell asleep. She told herself that it was okay to
tell him that things were too busy at the office to take
time out to socialize. But, then, she knew she couldn't
lie like that as a child of God, neither did she desire to
do so. She remembered her training in their Five-fold
Ministry Seminars about relationships and how the enemy
tries to keep us from having healthy, godly relationships.
Yet, another memory kept surfacing. She remembered

Hal's voice saying, "I love you." It was enough to
distract her again and cause agonizing pain.
Tears rolled from the corners of her eyes onto her

pillow as she prayed and talked to God, until she fell
asleep.
******************************************************
Hal jumped out of bed, phone in hand, running down the

hall in his bare feet. No one was around. Did Arturo go
see about the alarm, he wondered? It sounded like it was
530
coming from Tanya's hallway. Turning to run down the

hallway, he wondered why it was so dark. It was the one
hallway kept brightly lit at all times. He stepped on
something that hurt his foot and sent him sliding down the
hallway. There was no time to check for injuries, he
thought, he had to get to Tanya's room.
When he entered the room, hobbling, it too was dark. He

fumbled for a light switch until he found one and managed
to turn on a few of the recessed lights. He could hear
Tanya gasping for air. Quickly he moved toward the bed to
check on her.
"Where is Zenobia and Arturo? Where is Miriam?"
Tanya's eyes were stretched open wide in horror as her

exaggerated and irregular breathing pushed her chest up
and down. Hal's mind started spinning wildly. He knew he
had to calm down and think. He talked aloud to keep
focused as he tried to help Tanya.
"Check the breathing tubes. There's no air coming out.

Check the machine. It's off. Where's the plug?! Where's
the plug?! The oxygen machine is built into the wall, but
there has to be a plug or electrical box somewhere!"
Fumbling with his cellphone, he found the flashlight

button, turned it on, then, scanned the room. There was an
electrical panel on the back wall in the corner. Quickly
hobbling to the back of the room and opening the panel, he
began to read the connection labels. He pressed the one
marked oxygen and there was a huge spark which burned his
hand. Panicking, he began pressing more buttons but the
panel was shot, nothing worked.
531
"There has got to be some old-fashioned oxygen tanks in

this hospital somewhere! WHERE IS ZENOBIA?!!!"
His foot still hurt and the sticky feeling underneath

could only mean that it was bleeding. But, there was no
time to think about minor injuries. Hal ran as fast as he
could down the hallway to the door marked surgery and
tried to open it. It was locked. He pounded on it,
shouting in anguish.
"NO! NO! NO! ZENOBIA?! ARTURO?! MIRIAM?! ANYBODY?!

HELP! HELP!"
He jetted for the elevator and pressed the button. It

wasn't working. He started to take the stairway when he
remembered the control panel at the security desk.
Crossing over to the security desk, he leaped over it
instead of walking around. Quickly scanning the buttons on
the monitor, he found the one marked surgery and clicked
on it. There was a link to open the door. He clicked on it
and read, "door unlocked".
Hal wasted no time in bolting down the hallway back to

the surgery room. Inside, he shined the flashlight around
the room and saw a silver cylinder marked oxygen. He
grabbed it, along with a mask with connecting tubes, then,
rushed back to Tanya. He gently placed the mask on Tanya's
face then started to turn the oxygen on. Looking at the
gauge, he became horrified. It suddenly struck him that he
didn't know how much to give her. He slowly turned the
valve and decided to start out slowly, watching her
progress.
532
As he watched her chest stop jerking and heaving, he

had an overwhelming sense of relief. He could feel his own
chest starting to relax in sync with Tanya's, as his
breathing slowed, but, as he relaxed, the trauma to his
foot became very apparent and excruciating pain had made
its way up his leg.
Tanya nodded her head towards him, but she was unable
to speak.
"I'm going to find Zenobia and Arturo and get some

help, Mrs. Yanovich. Hang in there."
Tanya nodded her head slightly in acknowledgment. Then,

closed her eyes.
Hal made his way to Zenobia's room and found her either
asleep or unconscious.
"ZENOBIA! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! MRS. YANOVICH NEEDS YOU!"
There was no response from her. He shined his

flashlight around the room. There was a glass on her night
table with a milky residue coating the inside. He picked
it up, smelled it and shined the flashlight on it. He
decided it was milk, but, there must have been a granular-
like substance mixed in with it, because, some hadn't
dissolved and stuck to the bottom. Hal's suspicions began
to arise.
"Did Zenobia take something to help her sleep and

accidentally took too much? No, she's a nurse and an
excellent one at that."
533
Hal leaned over Zenobia. He knew she wasn't dead. She

snored lightly. He grabbed her by the shoulders and began
shaking her repeatedly, saying her name.
Finally, she began to come to. Hal turned on the lamp,

sat her up in bed and got her a glass of water.
"Zenobia, I need you to stay awake. Mrs. Yanovich needs

you. Something has happened."
"What? What has happened?"
Zenobia's speech was slurred and almost incoherent,

but, hearing that she was needed and something happened to
Tanya Yanovich seemed to wake Zenobia up enough to try and
get out of bed. However, she was still a little
disoriented and too weak to walk. Hal picked her up and
carried her down the hallway into Tanya's room. He was
thankful that Zenobia, who was tall and lanky, was also
lightweight. On the way down the hallway, Hal made a
mental note of several things.
"I need to become familiar with this entire floor. I

need an account of everyone's whereabouts. I need to call
the police and tell them about the milk, the electrical
box, the elevator, and Arturo. I need people around that I
can trust."
Hal sat Zenobia in a comfortable chair. However, once

her feet touched the cold, hard floor, she started coming
out of her drugged state and immediately switched into
nursing mode and administered the proper care Tanya
needed.
534
Hal called the police, explained the situation and

opened all the doors from the security control panel in
order to search the other rooms. Still unable to find
Arturo or anyone else, he remembered the elevator wasn't
working and the police would have to take the stairway.
"As they say, time is of the essence. If I found the

links to the doors, I can find one for the elevator. If
not, then, I'll locate security people on another floor to
help me."
Was that such a good idea, he thought? He weighed his

options again and decided it was safer for the police to
take the stairs, if he couldn't get the elevator running
again. He had no idea who was involved in this treachery,
which he was certain was an attempt on Tanya Yanovich's
life. But, who would try to kill an already dying woman
and what would they gain from speeding up her inevitable
and impending death?
After searching all the rooms, and failing to start the

elevator, Hal returned to check on Zenobia and Tanya.
"Mrs. Yanovich wants to speak with you, Hal. What

happened? Why wasn't I alerted? Mrs. Yanovich could have
died."
"The power went off. I think you were drugged and

Miriam and Arturo aren't here."
"I was drugged? How? Who would have done that?"
535
"I don't know, but, I've called the police to

investigate. I think someone put something in your milk."
"Oh, Father in Heaven, protect us all! I always have a

glass of milk before I go to bed. Now, I will be afraid to
eat, drink or sleep!"
"Don't worry, Zenobia. I will try to get to the bottom

of this so we won't have to be afraid. Is Mrs. Yanovich
able to speak now?"
"She's extremely weak, but, she insisted on talking to

you. I'm going to call the doctor in now, but, you'll have
time to talk before he arrives. Just try not to over do
it. I think you know her limits now, however, she has been
in a severely agitated state and needs rest."
"Alright, I won't keep her talking. Thanks Zenobia for

everything."
"No, thank you, Hal. You probably saved us all."
Hal doubted that. Whoever it was who had been there

targeted one particular individual--Tanya Graves Yanovich.
Yet, had they planned on him being there and ruining their
seemingly perfect thought out murder? Did they know about
him at all?
Hal walked over to Tanya's bed and smiled at her. She

motioned for him to come closer. He leaned his head over,
placing his ear within hearing range.
"Thank you, my hero."
536
Hal blushed and stood up. She motioned for him to lean
down again, and pulled his ear close to her mouth holding
his head in place.
"With friends like these, who needs enemies? It was

because he was a danger to the presidency. My father, the
general, my husband, brothers, campaign managers, and
others knew about it. It wasn't a suicide. They pressured
and coerced him...the Russians...arranged it to cover
their tracks. He would have spoiled everything. My father
doesn't have friends. Everyone is replaceable and
disposable, even me. "Cry 'Havoc!', and let slip the dogs
of war".
Tanya released her grip on Hal's head and her arm fell
limp. Hal stood up stunned and chilled by the icy words he
had just heard come out of Tanya's mouth. He backed away
slowly as she stared at the expression on his face,
knowing she had dropped the mother of all bombs and
Pandora's Box would be forever open.
People came in to replace and repair equipment and

would have started their work if Hal hadn't shouted.
"STOP! This a possible crime scene. Just...just wait a

few more minutes everybody! The police are on the way. Can
somebody get the elevator working?"
Hal went to check on the arrival of the police. All the

while, Tanya's words were turning over in his mind.
"With friends like these, who needs enemies? Cry

'Havoc!', and let slip the dogs of war".
537
"What was she talking about? Was her mind damaged from
lack of oxygen? Was she hallucinating? Is it dementia?
Why would she talk as if her father is alive and accuse

him of wanting to silence her? She was his favorite. He
trusted her. Did he stop trusting her? And what suicide
was she talking about? Was the president possibly involved
in a murder cover-up that had come back to haunt him after
all of these years?!"
Hal reached the elevator just in time to see one

sweating policeman followed by another emerge from the
door to the stairwell out of breath and looking for
someplace to sit down to rest. At any other time he would
have been amused, but, this time was like no other he had
experienced in his somewhat young life. He led the
policemen to the sitting room, tried to make them
comfortable and got them cold beverages to drink.
It was going to be a long night. Texting very quickly,

he sent a quick message to Rachel. He hoped she wasn't
worried about him and hoped she was sleeping peacefully by
now.
"Rache, everything is okay and under control. ttyl

(talk to you later) Love, Hal."
Without thinking, he pressed--SEND.
538
Chapter 18
TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE:
Part 1 NOT BY SIGHT
Polonius in Act 1, Scene III of William

Shakespeare's famous play, Hamlet:
“This above all: to thine own self be true.
And it must follow, as the night the day
Thou canst not then be false to any

man/Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!”
539
There is much we are yet to learn about the human

brain: how it really functions; its full capacity; and its
full potential. Yet, in my walk with God, I have
discovered that I and many other people, (not only
Believers) are more aware of their multi-functional
selves, that is, having the ability to knowingly or
unknowingly stretch and exercise the mind to push it
beyond what others normally do, in a way that is connected
to the spirit.
Those to whom this occurs naturally, yet, unknowingly

may be confused by their behavior, not understanding what
is happening or what they are experiencing. However, those
who are aware of their spiritual being, often function
beyond the normal boundaries of cognitive thinking.
Therefore, they choose to function in the physical and the
spiritual as part of walking by faith and not by sight.
They've discovered which partitions in their brain to
lower and connect them with God through the Holy Spirit.
Can we prove this scientifically? Probably not, just as

there is no real evidence of the spirit. Yet, we as
Believers know without doubt that there are functions and
miracles connected with the mind and body that are moved,
controlled and performed by the spirit, which is connected
to God.
Walking by faith and not by sight is meant to take you

away from trying to control or manipulate your present
concern, focus, or function, and requiring you to put all
of your trust in God. However, this 'second sight', as
some might call it, applies to our spiritual being,
through which God communicates with us.
540
Man's multi-focus ability moves beyond motor skills,

voluntary and involuntary reflexes. It is a gift and tool
for us to utilize as spiritual beings and as protection
against darkness. It may be manifested in peculiar ways
that gives a person unique abilities and skills and can
even be diagnosed as a brain disorder by those who don't
understand its purpose. It is a conscious awareness of the
physical and spiritual, just as when we are asleep in a
dream-state. Yet, there is no provable explanation as to
why we have the ability to function in this manner,
either.
Knowing this should lead every Believer to question the

structure, ideology, and institutions within our
societies, from our government to our educational systems.
We should ask ourselves, "Are our societies really
designed to meet the potential of every man, woman and
child, or, are they designed to elevate those who can
conform to a particular level of thought process that
supports and maintains a particular socioeconomic status
and preferred world view of the upper class?" Those who
cannot conform or are hindered from participating are
destined to struggle, require government assistance, or
fail to thrive because their options and ability to choose
have been limited, taken away, or completely removed. As a
result, an individual can lose who they are or never find
themselves, becoming lost to darkness. No, we cannot
categorize every drug addict's addiction as beginning in
immorality. Immorality becomes a symptom of drug abuse for
many people who turn to drugs. Their beginning and reason
for using drugs may have been the pain they experienced
from their life in the world.
An integrated, diversified and versatile society takes

time to see all of its inhabitants as people who matter
and who are valuable resources and lives not to be wasted.
541
What does this say about today's societies where millions

of lives are being lost to crime, violence, drugs and war?
We are in danger of drugging ourselves to death as we

try to suppress and deaden our thoughts and feelings that
we feel we have no control over. The adversary is
provoking many to desperation in order to steal, kill, and
destroy lives. If we are to survive, we must not only
declare war on drug sales and abuse, but, war on the
structural fabric of society itself, which is designed to
aid the enemy by its opposition and rejection of equality
and quality of life for all mankind.
Mankind's problems lie in not loving our neighbor as we

love ourselves, which is why drug abuse is not just a
problem stemming from an individuals immorality, poverty,
and unemployment. Society must truly take a look at
itself. The onlooker who only sees immorality or poverty
cannot see their immorality in not loving their neighbor
as themselves.
Societies today are structured to work in collaboration

with the enemy to purge itself of those who have slipped
through the cracks or failed to conform. Poverty, racism
and discrimination, bigotry, bullying, unemployment,
inflation, inaccessible and expensive healthcare,
unaffordable education, and every manner of adversity are
convenient and effective tools to control, suppress, and
eradicate an unwanted portion of the population.
The rich in society continue to profit from outsourcing

manufacturing, while lying to the working class and
condemning it. Why? To control the masses. It is not in
their best interests to discontinue the practice. Instead,
they will buy into new ways to make more money at home,
because, at the expense and suffering of the working and
542
unemployed class, they have overseas profits to do so.

This is just one way that society refuses to rid itself of
toxicity and self-destructive factors, which continue to
cause agitation, social unrest and the deaths of millions.
Those in society who are viewed by many as being
undesirable, or, to have become obsolete, immalleable, or,
unable to be trained or rehabilitated, are considered to
be useless and expendable.
Those in control can afford to put up smoke screens to

appear to be alleviating a problem, because they will make
money off of the medical treatment and rehabilitation of
the drug addict and call it social welfare. Tax breaks
will reward them for their efforts and contributions,
excluding them from any financial hardships that have
befallen the middle and lower class tax payer.
If the drug abuser lacks morality, then, the blind

accuser is even less immoral for their part and refusing
to see the plight that has been laid out for the drug
abuser, due to the self-righteousness and entitlement of
people who corrupt society with selfishness and lack of
moral compass.
In the story of the Good Samaritan, can we accuse the

traveler who was beaten and robbed of wrong doing, by
laying claim to the fact that he made no effort to avoid
the thieves and made himself a victim by going through a
high crime area, so, he got what he deserved? Should we
penalize him for not having been rich enough to afford
servants and protection? Should the Good Samaritan not
have provided for his healthcare or room and board because
the victim couldn't afford it and there was no guarantee
he would be reimbursed? What kind of heart devises such a
conclusion that immorality is the inherent cause of drug
abuse? Who can make such an accusation against his
543
neighbors without knowing or caring to know anything about

them? Is it a heart with no life experience, compassion,
or has ignorance, arrogance, greed, pride, and self-
entitlement driven it to blindness and immorality?
A righteous heart understands that the adversary has no

preference of person, for he mimics Jehovah God. A
righteous heart knows that the adversary comes to steal,
kill and destroy all mankind, attacking in whatever form
is most convenient and effective. Drugs just happen to be
his current weapon of choice. Drugs which have been
allowed to be a convenient and effective weapon, festering
and plaguing society, ignored by those in society who have
disdain for others unlike themselves. By denying the true
root of the problem, they continue to ignore and allow the
demise of their neighbors, while they feel entitled and
righteous in judging the morality of others. Drugs and gun
related death is allowed by those in society blinded by
the enemy so that they have no idea of what immorality
really is.
When we look at what kind of government would consider

cutting healthcare for treatment of drug abuse, we must
look at the heart of those accusers who minimize a
catastrophic plague of drug abuse and massive overdoses
solely as an issue of an individual's immorality. Those
who rule our present government have seen no urgent need
to save lives by prioritizing legislature and methods for
effective healing and suitable alternatives to
prescription medications that may lead to self-medicating,
overdosing and committing suicide. Those invested in drug
companies see it as more government regulations and an
added burden that takes money out of their pockets. They
see no urgent need to fund existing healthcare, because
pride and prejudice boils within them so that a historic
triumph in America's Democracy is diminished to a
nightmare and a disaster because they have vowed to
544
destroy the legacy of America's first Black President.

They constantly and hatefully spit out the name Obamacare
so that those hardened, prejudice hearts like theirs will
unite in their hatred and vindictiveness. The thought of
having had a Black man as president is bitter bile within
their mouths, producing disgust and hatred within them and
they will do anything to rid themselves of the taste. To
them, hatred and politics (politics that must look like
them) are more important than people's lives, especially
since, in their eyes, not every race or person is
considered equal, or worthy to be seen or treated as a
human being.
They see no immediate threat to themselves, because

they feel their future is secure. They think of themselves
as the elite who can solve their own problems and expect
others to do the same at their own expense. They place the
majority of people in a separate society called the needy.
They consider the needy to be the only real threat to the
world. Thus, colluding with ruthless and corrupt regimes
and enemy nations is not a crime, but, a managerial
strategy for stability, increased revenue, and upward
mobility.
Helping the needy depends upon how they feel about what
they consider to be social welfare, handouts, charity, or
wasted money. They would rather the separate society heal
and preserve itself, because, their main objective, as the
elite, is to help the big businesses they own or have
invested in politically or financially.
Giving the people the false hope that prosperity will

trickle down isn't considered to be a lie, but, instead,
it's seen as good management. However, they omit the fact
that there is a filter in the trickle down method and the
thickness of the filter is designed to control the flow to
545
the bottom to barely a drop, while the wealthy absorb all

the rest.
A model society, as determined by the principles of

God, has yet to be created. Meanwhile, within our
imperfect societies, it is the people who determine their
sustainability. It is the people's resilience and
willingness to be cohesive that produces strength,
endurance, safety, security and growth in order for others
to prosper. Divide the people and prepare for the fall of
that society that will reach upward to the elitists
To bring unity and cohesiveness back, a viable society

must begin to take into consideration the inherent traits,
skills and needs of individuals. It must structure its
development and growth to meet the needs and skills of the
people in lieu of a society focused primarily on
generating profit for the rich, serving and catering to
greed, wealth and status, promoting overindulgence,
selfishness, prejudice, immorality, self-satisfaction and
the self-preservation of oppressors over the poor,
suppressed, and oppressed.
Societies that suppress freedom and freedom of speech

and cling to nationalism and isolationism are destined not
to survive for "no man is an island, no man stands alone."
Those who wish to stagnate society or push it back to the
past will indeed find themselves left behind, for time
marches forward without looking back.
The viable society of the future must be a society that

neither labels itself as conservative, liberal,
progressive, socialist or capitalist, but, strives to be a
society for the love of mankind; a society which can no
longer allow suffering and dying because of love of self,
money, political party, nation, power and geographical
546
boundaries. It must be a society which advocates blindness

to the color of one's skin, recognizing that all of the
people within it belong, welcoming diversity and a true
melting pot, seeing each person as valuable and important.
Equality must be more than just a symbol, while honesty
and integrity must be part of the foundation that holds it
together, without compromise.
Meanwhile, we live in a society which is damaged, lost,

confused, struggling with identity, feeding on lies and
deceit, fighting with who it wants to be and who it will
serve. As born again Believers, it is imperative that we
know who we are, our purpose, our potential, where we are
going, and how to get there. Before you start out, examine
your heart and specialized mind. To walk with Jesus down
the right path God has planned for you, it helps to know
how your mind works, in order to connect it with your
heart (spirit). Think about it. What makes you tick? What
are you drawn to? How do you learn? Think outside the box.
Just because you don't fit within some of society's norms
doesn't mean that you aren't perfect for God's Kingdom and
able to enjoy abundant and everlasting life.
Discover what God has given you to be used for Kingdom

purpose. Pray and ask God to reveal what is keeping you
from connecting with Him, following Jesus and being
purpose driven. What partitions or walls are blocking you
from walking in the spirit? What is keeping you from
believing, trusting, surrendering, repenting and putting
your all on the altar? What is blocking you from having
faith? Do you understand how your mind functions and what
is needed to make a breakthrough to freedom, having
surrendered all to God?
Explore the territory which has been given to you to

traverse and claim and exists because of God's love for
547
you. There is no other place like it, because God

specializes. Remember that there is a reason why your mind
works the way it does. God does not make mistakes, nor
does He lie. He has a plan for your life. Even if you have
a disability or you are challenged in any way within this
world. God created you and made you the way that you are,
and if it was good enough for God, it is good enough for
man and the world.
Only God can complete the work that He began. He wants

a relationship with you to make you whole.
To love and obey God, you must know about God's Word
and His Kingdom to determine if you are living within
God's principles, His Will and Way. We cannot use our
refusal to repent from sin and love of the flesh as an
excuse for not fitting in or expecting people to accept
our sin. God expects us to die to our fleshly (carnal)
selves and overcome the world as Jesus did. Many want to
remain as they are, claiming that they were born that way.
However, we cannot say that we were born to live in sin.
We were born to overcome so that we would enjoy abundant
and eternal life.
Take a good look at the world and society today, but,

do not be dismayed. Your Heavenly Father has a purpose for
you within His Kingdom. He only wants good things for His
children, because His love for you is unconditional and
everlasting!
your servant and soldier, united with the One,
mishael
548
Episode 17
AUNTIE YONNY: CRIME SCENE
549

Episode 17
AUNTIE YONNY:CRIME SCENE
The police detectives remained throughout the night

questioning everyone they could who was on staff and who
could have remotely seen or heard something suspicious or
out of the ordinary. Names and contact numbers were taken
of people staying with patients throughout the hospital.
Camera footage was reviewed while a forensics team
collected evidence. All routine thought Hal, hoping that
they would turn up something soon to identify the
perpetrator. He paid close attention, as he usually did on
his assignments, trying not to get in their way.
He had forgotten about his foot, which still ached,

when he noticed one of the forensic team members
photographing the trail of his blood throughout the
hallways and rooms. Suddenly it hit him that, although, he
had alerted the police and saved Tanya, he still had to be
considered as a possible suspect. In his years of
reporting, stranger things had happened. For this reason,
it was even more imperative that he got to the bottom of
this to clear himself of any suspicion.
There was still no word from Miriam.
"Where could she be?" thought Hal. "And Arturo? I can't

imagine Arturo being negligent of his job."
He had little to tell the detectives about both of them
550
other than, he'd met with Miriam earlier that day and said
goodnight to Arturo when he came in.
Something had happened to them and Hal didn't want to

think about what it could mean. Then, as if he had
summoned up his darkest thoughts, a detective came running
up to the Lieutenant in charge. He was close enough to
overhear their conversation, although, she was trying to
speak quietly and confidentially.
"Sir, we need you out in the garage. We found two

bodies in a van."
The Lieutenant wasted no time in heading for the stairs

with his subordinate, questioning her along the way.
"Who does it belong to?"
"Intern here who's been on duty all night."
Hal's heart sunk and his legs felt shaky. He knew it

had to be Miriam and Arturo. There was no way they
wouldn't have been here. He followed behind them trying to
be inconspicuous.
When they arrived at the lower deck of the parking

garage, the area had been roped off. There was no way he
was getting any closer without permission. He walked up to
the Lieutenant, who seemed to be aware of his presence.
"Would you like me to see if I can identify the

bodies?"
551
"We want you to stay here and don't move or touch

anything. We'll bring you a photo to see if you know them.
And, none of this hits the newspaper, yet. You said you
work for The Daily?"
"Well..., I used to. I might be unemployed or in limbo,

if one of those bodies is Miriam Graves Barrett."
Episode 17
AUNTIE YONNY:
CRIME SCENE (continued)
From where he was standing, Hal strained to see around

the police officers and forensic investigators to get a
glimpse of the bodies, but, he couldn't. Pictures were
being taken from all angles and everyone was being very
careful not to disturb anything around the crime scene.
The detective with the Lieutenant received a call,

then, she said something to him. They both turned around
glaring somewhat perturbed at Hal. They began making their
way towards him.
Hal wondered what he had done and who could have

possibly been on the other end of that call. Was he going
to be arrested? He stood there feeling like a trapped fox
with no where to go because the hounds had cornered him
in. The female detective was the first to speak.
552
"I got a call that a reporter from The Daily is

upstairs at the reception desk asking for you. She says
her name is Rachel."
Hal swallowed and stared at them with a sheepish look.
"I didn't call her. I mean, we were on the phone when

everything happened."
From the looks on their faces, Hal knew they weren't

buying his story. He knew he had to improvise.
"Look, honestly, I didn't tell her about any of this.

We were on the phone...talking about... She's my
girlfriend. We were making a date, when the alarm went
off. Someone from the paper must have called her."
The Lieutenant told the detective who they called

Franky (probably short for Francine) that he'd take care
of the situation and to give him an update in ten minutes.
Hal started to follow the Lieutenant up the stairwell

to the first floor, really feeling the pain in his foot,
as he took each step. After the first set of steps, he
felt pain in his leg.
"Lieutenant, uh..."
"Hamilton, Lieutenant Hamilton."
553
"You see, Lieutenant, Rachel was my boss at The Daily,

but before she became my boss, we dated. Now that she's no
longer my boss, I'm trying to give it another go and,
well, I don't want her to be worried about me.
"I don't intend to tell her a thing. I expect you to do

the same. If she wants a story, she'll have to dig like
the other reporters. If you care about her, you'll keep
her out of this mess."
Hal wondered what the Lieutenant already knew about the

case.
"Alright, just give me some time to talk to her and let

her know that I'm okay. I won't tell her anything. I
promise."
"I'll be watching the two of you and listening."
The cut must have been deeper than he thought. He'd

washed it off and wrapped his foot in some gauze. However,
pressing down on it gave him excruciating pain. When they
entered the lobby, Hal was wincing and limping.
Lieutenant Hamilton looked at him suspiciously.
"Do you know what you stepped on?"
"No, it was too dark and I slipped and fell. Did anyone
find anything on the floor?"
The detective didn't answer.
554
"You better get that looked at."
Hal looked over at the reception desk. The receptionist

was frantically answering one call after another. Standing
in front of her were two uniformed police officers
surrounding a woman, who could only be Rachel. Hal limped
over to rescue her as fast as he could.
"Hal! There you are! I've been trying to explain to

these officers that I'm here to see you and not on
official business. They were trying to kick me out!"
Without thinking, Hal grabbed Rachel in his arms and

kissed her. She was a sight for sore eyes and his heart
had been longing to see and touch her. As they parted, she
looked at him somewhat shocked at his greeting.
"Its alright officers, she's just worried about me.

I'll see that she leaves soon. We just need to talk for a
minute."
"Hal? What happened to your foot? Where have you been?

What's going on? I thought you said everything was
alright, then, I get a call from Duke at The Daily telling
me that all hell is breaking loose at this hospital and
I'd better get here quick."
"I can't tell you much, Rachel. Just that I'm okay.
Lieutenant Hamilton over there will have my head if I say
any more. Look, I know we had talked about seeing each
other, but, as you can see, I've got a lot going on. Maybe
when things die down, we can get together. Okay?
555
Rachel looked back at the Lieutenant, who kept an eye

on them while talking to the officers.
Hal knew that Rachel was no amateur. She could tell by

the smoke how big the fire was and this fire was big. Hal
just prayed that she didn't start snooping around. He'd
never forgive himself if something happened to Rachel. He
held her hand tightly as he escorted her to the door. She
was leaving, but looking around as she went.
"Please Rachel," he thought, "please, turn off your

reporter radar and just leave. Don't you know how much I
love you and don't want to hurt you, or see you hurt,
or...?" Hal fought to get the worst that could happen out
of his head.
Rachel felt totally confused by Hal's behavior. He was

practically dragging her out of the door. She didn't want
to leave, especially now, seeing that he was injured and
not knowing why. She had excellent instincts when it came
to investigating a story. She was afraid for Hal.
Something wasn't right at this hospital, in a big way. She
would respect his wishes for now and stay away from him,
but, that wasn't going to stop her from digging in to this
story and laying it out in the open. She'd make some calls
as soon as she got to the The Daily.
Outside of the door, once again, Hal wrapped her in his

arms and passionately kissed her, but, this time, as she
kissed him back, the feelings were mutual.
556
From The Transformed Heart Of A Woman
Episode 18
AUNTIE YONNY: IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME
557

Episode 18
AUNTIE YONNY: IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME
It was hard saying goodbye to Rachel, but Hal knew that

it was to protect her. He went back into the hospital and
watched her walk down the street and get into her car. He
planned to ask the receptionist if the elevator was
working yet, but, as he turned toward the reception desk,
he saw the bully brothers, Jake and Steve seated in the
lobby, being questioned by two police officers. He wanted
to hear what they had to say about the events of last
night and if they had an alibi for where they were during
those hours, but, he knew he better get back to Lieutenant
Hamilton.
The Lieutenant was waiting for him near the stairwell.

Walking on tip-toe with his injured foot, Hal limped over
to the door and the two descended into the parking garage.
Franky was waiting for them. She had some shots of the
murdered bodies on a tablet for Hal to try to identify.
Hal took one look at the gruesomely murdered victims

and wanted to vomit. It appeared that Arturo had put up a
good fight, but, lost, then, had his neck slit. His
uniform shirt was a crimson red. Miriam lacked the bruises
and multiple lacerations, but there was a clean cut across
her throat. Blood was everywhere in the van.
He'd seen bodies before, but, what people always said

was true, knowing the person makes it much worse for
558
having seen them alive and being connected with them. The
two law enforcement officers observed his reaction
carefully, making their deductions about his guiltiness or
innocence of the crime. It didn't help the way he felt.
"From your reaction, I take it that this is Miriam

Barrett and the security guard, Arturo?"
Unable to get the picture out of his mind and stifling

his urge to throw up in front of the detectives, Hal
nodded his head.
"Do you need me for anything else, Lieutenant

Hamilton?"
"No, not right now, but, don't go anywhere, we might

still have some questions for you to answer."
Pain gripped Hal's foot, making him want to try the

basement elevator, but that area was roped off. He had no
other choice but to hop back up the stairs and back into
the lobby. Jake and Steve were gone, but the two officers
were still around. He limped over to them and asked them
if the elevator had been repaired. It was like an answered
prayer, when they said yes.
Hal hopped into the elevator and grabbed the rail for
support. Pressing his head into the elevator wall, he
imagined the details and horror of Miriam and Arturo's
brutal murder. What were their last thoughts? And, who
could have done such a blood curdling, insane, and inhuman
thing to another human being? Then, reality hit him and he
spoke the words out loud.
559
"It could have been me."
Jake and Steve were at their post sitting at the

security desk. One of the officers assigned to keep watch
over people coming and going stood guard standing next to
them. They stared at Hal when the elevator door opened.
"Hi, have things settled down, yet? I'm glad the

elevator is working."
The police officer smiled and nodded, but, as usual,

there was no reaction from the stolid security guards.
He noticed his foot was bleeding profusely again,

dripping drops of blood. After washing his foot and
wrapping it again with gauze he'd nabbed from one of the
supply rooms, Hal contacted Darla with the news about
Miriam Barrett and Arturo, telling her that it must be
kept quiet, until further notice. He thought about poor,
kind Arturo, whom he couldn't see hurting anyone on
purpose. He felt bad that he didn't even know how to
contact his family. He would have Darla find out. He'd
asked if she would mind coming in early to help him take
care of things and she said she would be in as soon as
possible.
He knew that he had to get some sleep soon, because the

stress, pain, and fatigue were getting to him. He was just
about to go to his room, when, Lieutenant Hamilton and a
uniformed police officer walked up to him.
"Mike's going to take you down to the emergency room to

get that foot taken care of now. He'll stay there with you
560
and bring you back up."
From the sound of his voice, Hal knew that Lieutenant

Hamilton wasn't asking him to go with Mike, he was
ordering him to go. Hal felt like he was a prisoner under
guard.
When they arrived at the intake desk, the policeman

took over and did all of the talking. Hal noticed the look
the clerk gave him, which branded him as a criminal.
Officer Mike handed the clerk some kind of legal document,
gave her Hal's name, the nature and circumstances of his
injury and requested an x-ray of the wound area, along
with all records of the care he received.
At that moment, Hal was certain that he was a suspect

in the double murder and attempted murder case. The
Lieutenant was just waiting to go through the proper
procedures to collect evidence. He felt nauseous and
light-headed.
"Am I under arrest?" he asked the officer.
"Do I have a reason to arrest you?"
"No, but, it seems like you're collecting evidence on

me."
"Routine, buddy. Just, routine. We're trying to help

you out and speed things along."
Hal didn't buy that answer for one minute. He knew he'd
be interrogated and he'd better get legal counsel as soon
561
as possible.
"We need the patient to fill out this form, first," the
clerk told Officer Mike.
It was the clerk who was the first to notice that Hal
was a little unsteady.
"I think we need to get him a wheelchair. He looks

kinda..."
That was the last Hal heard and remembered when he woke
up on a bed in the emergency room, with an intravenous
needle sticking in his arm giving him fluids and oxygen
tubes in his nose. He noticed that he was wearing a
hospital gown, then, he looked down at his foot. It had a
new bandage on it, much better than the job he had done
wrapping it. They must have patched it up and drugged him,
he thought.
Officer Mike was sitting beside his bed. When he saw

that he was awake, he phoned Lieutenant Hamilton. Hal
tried to sit up, but he was feeling really woozy from the
medication.
"How long have I been out officer?"
"A couple of hours or so since you came out of

surgery."
"Surgery?! I had surgery?"
562
"Yep. They had to remove an object from your foot.

You'd better lay down and keep still until the nurse
comes. They're not ready to release you yet. The
Lieutenant will be down to talk to you in a minute."
"Do you know what they removed from my foot?"
The officer robotically repeated himself.
"The Lieutenant will be down to talk to you in a

minute."
Hal knew it would be useless to press Officer Mike for

any more information. He was assigned to do one job, to
watch over him like a hawk.
Resting his head back on the flat hospital pillow, Hal

almost fell asleep, until he heard voices from outside of
his room. Recognizing one as Lieutenant Hamilton, he sat
up in expectation. Soon, the Lieutenant came through the
drawn curtains.
"Here's your little enemy, Hal. A blade, matter of

fact, a stainless chromium steel blade."
Lieutenant Hamilton held up a plastic back holding a

small, steel blade.
"A blade? Where did that come from?"
"It's a blade from a pill-splitter. You stepped on a

pill splicer and the blade dislodged and went up into your
563
foot. They had to take you into surgery. It was next to an

artery. Continuing to walk around on that foot could have
been bad news for you. Good thing we brought you down
here."
564
Chapter 18
Part 2

ACCEPTANCE, THE CROSSROAD OF
ENDURANCE
565
God has given me plenty of opportunities to learn the

lesson of acceptance and forgiveness. He has allowed
people around me and before me to cause pain, and to blind
and harden my heart. Then, when I was ready to accept them
and myself, He gave me new eyes and a new heart to see
them as He does. In the past, it was very difficult for me
to stay focused and on task, when there was one or more
scowling faces around me doubting and despising me. Now, I
remember who I am, a daughter of God. The Holy Spirit and
living God lives inside of me and will never leave me. I
allow God's love to flow through me and guide me and I
speak with hope for every ear that will hear. I have
accepted His gifts and now I have strength and wisdom to
endure.
There is power within you to endure and accept those

circumstances and people which have come against you in
opposition and adversity. There is power within you to
forgive, while not needing to forget that which you have
been empowered to overcome, through Christ Jesus and the
will of God.
God can take away all of our pain and heartache, but,
we must first accept and forgive ourselves, as He has
ALREADY forgiven us. Will we accept His gift of
Forgiveness? Will we accept Christ?
The Bible doesn't emphasize our forgiving ourselves.

Perhaps, it is expected to be a part of our surrendering
all to God. Perhaps, it is self-implied as we come to
truly accept God's forgiveness. Then, perhaps, it is also
one of the partitions or walls we must bring down or push
out of the way inside of our brain to connect with God;
just another stumbling block we happen to encounter on the
566
path we follow to holiness and righteousness.
YOU are a child of God! Know and cherish what you are
and who God created you to be, always. Cherish your
relationship with your Father. You cannot fail with God,
for God never fails. God didn't create people who are
losers, just people who are nothing without Him. If we are
to change the atmosphere and the minds and hearts of those
in darkness who have become cruel and destructive people,
labeling people as failures and losers, we must change the
rhetoric and discourse from inside the person.
We cannot stand idly by watching those within society

and our government try to harden hearts and create a
society ruled by hatred and violence. We must work harder
knowing we have the power to succeed with God. Your
acceptance of yourself and others is VITAL to the cause.
All-in-all, ACCEPTANCE is another gift from God, like

abundant and eternal life, that keeps on giving. I guess
it's another reason why it's impossible to beat God's
giving.
with unconditional love, your servant and soldier, united

with the One,
mishael
567
"Simple Gifts"
(written by Elder Joseph Brackett, Jr., of the Shaker

community in Alfred, Maine 1848)
'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free
'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gained,
To bow and to bend we shan't be ashamed,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come 'round right.
568
Chapter 18
Part 3
ACCEPTANCE,
GREATER IS HE THAT IS WITHIN ME,
THAN, HE THAT IS WITHIN THE WORLD
569
Perhaps, you've had a somewhat rocky road in life,

also; so, rocky it's difficult for you to talk about your
experiences and circumstances, so, you rarely share the
details with others. Perhaps, like me, there are people
out there who think you really haven't been through
hardships such as: poverty, homelessness, overwhelming
challenges, health problems, tragedy, disaster, grief,
near death, or dangerous ordeals, all because, you've
moved on in your victory over adversity and sin, through
your ability to conquer with Christ Jesus. Hallelujah!
Most likely, those people who criticize and ridicule

aren't really caring about what you've been through, but,
they are acting out of their own hardened heart filled
with pain, frustration and jealousy. Most people still
have not learned to accept themselves and what happened in
their lives. So, they will look at others as not having
had it as bad as they have. They will have jealousy,
contempt, animosity, and condemnation towards those whom
they see as having had more than them to start out with;
those who attained a higher education; and those who were
able to hold on to or increase what they had. People who
cannot accept their situation will try to find ways to
overcome and sometimes fall prey to charlatans and thieves
ready to take advantage of their circumstances. Satan
always lies waiting for his opportunity to kill, steal and
destroy.
Gerrymandering in politics has done more than just

structure and suppress voting. We have structured our
communities to set certain groups of people up in an
environment for failure, violence and death. Think about
it. Your community may have been designed to shorten your
child's lifespan and to keep you in poverty. City
managers, builders, and planners may have decided to write
570
your community off in order to garner power and wealth for

themselves and others. Community funding for your
neighborhood's development and education budget may be
less or deflected somewhere else to control who gets jobs,
succeeds and has control of power. But, are you powerless?
The wide margin of disparity has set people against one

another, dividing nations, states, communities, races and
ethnic groups, splitting and grouping people into like
religions, socioeconomic and educational statuses. It is
not that we need to prove anything to anyone, but, we can
help bring people together by showing them what we
overcame, with Jesus being our guide and example, the Holy
Spirit being our instructor, and God being our coach and
deliverer. This is the unequivocal answer to the question
of division within our countries today. We must show
people how to overcome physically and spiritually, taking
charge of their lives, out of the hands of the enemy. We
can be activist in the physical and spiritual world. We
can be the resistance in the physical and spiritual world.
We can EMPOWER people with TRUTH TO BRING ABOUT
REFORMATION!
We can show people that IF WE TRULY ACCEPT GOD'S GIFTS,

then, WE STAY IN THE WILL OF GOD! When there are walls and
stumbling blocks in our way, we stay in the Will of God.
EVEN when things don't go OUR WAY, we stay in the Will of
God! If we can't have something, we stay in the WILL OF
GOD! WHY?! Because God SPECIALIZES and in His
specifications for us as individuals, specific things are
required in God's timing, for He knows what is best for
us.
While I'm looking for or grabbing something that I

think is BETTER for me, or trying to keep my neighbor from
having something, I bypass that which I NEED and I'm no
571
better off than when I started out. If I have sinned

against my neighbor, than I have sinned against God, so, I
am worse off than before.
God doesn't forget about my desires. However, He may

see something lacking in me that will prevent my
acceptance and growth to be prepared for the BEST THAT IS
YET TO COME. Yet, if I JUST HOLD OUT UNTIL MY CHANGE
COMES, not only will my cup overflow, but, I will
understand it better by and by.
Abundant and eternal life, requires ACCEPTANCE!

Acceptance of God's gifts in yourself and in others.
Acceptance of who you are and all that has happened in
your life to help God to mold you into a better and
specialized person. That He is mindful of us is a gift in
itself!
The self-righteous are unacceptable in God's sight for

they choose only to see sin in others. They cannot accept
others because they haven't learned to accept ALL of
themselves, meaning that, they are yet to discover and
comprehend that THEY ARE NOTHING and CAN DO NOTHING
without God! Accepting this knowledge would take away
their coveted power to judge others unjustly, not having
the authority to do so. Moreover, they would come to see
themselves for what they are--unworthy; for it is Christ
within us who makes us worthy! We are covered by the
precious blood He shed for us on Calvary.
Their vision of themselves would be destroyed, leaving

a reflection of an individual who needs true change and
deliverance. They would see the proud image of someone who
needs to humble themselves, pray, repent and seek the face
of God.
572
This part of acceptance is the most important of all,

for it allows us to open our hearts and minds to take a
look at ourselves, without being dismayed and repulsed by
what we see; for we know that God is showing us the sin
and iniquity that is within us in order to heal and grow
us.
God looks beyond our faults to see our needs. So must

we come to the point in our acceptance of ourselves to
look beyond our faults to see our needs that only our
Father can provide. As we accept God's perfect and
specialized gifts, we give Him permission to break and
mold us; to take us through the fire and purge us of the
dark matter within our hearts, keeping us from following
Jesus and shining in the Light of God.
Each day, we are presented with things from our past

and things that lie before us that we must come to accept;
not with anxiety, depression, anger, regret, pain and
sorrow, but, with the deep understanding that they have
been building blocks to lead us to accept victory in Jesus
and the Kingdom of God; having conquered the world and
accepted who and what God has created us to be.
Have you accepted yourself and your gift of victory?

Then, come, let us REJOICE IN THE LORD! Amen.
We must remember that acceptance of others does not

mean we remove ourselves from righteous action, or that we
excuse or make excuses for their behavior. In accepting
them as children of God, we, like Jesus, remember what God
would have us do and we speak truth to power.
573
If you repented and asked God for forgiveness, He has

forgiven, you. Have you accepted His forgiveness by
forgiving yourself so that you can move on and move beyond
who you were into who you were created to be? What must
you come to accept? As we repent and turn away from sin,
we allow God to change us and deliver us. What is needed
to complete the process is for you to accept God's gift of
forgiveness and deliverance by forgiving yourself, showing
love, acceptance and appreciation for His loving kindness.
Yes, there will still be people who will not accept

you. There will always be people who don't like you or who
doubt you and God's work within you. You shouldn't be one
of those doubters. Jesus is the son of God. Yet, there are
billions of people who doubt or deny it. As He went about
His Father's work, preaching and teaching unto the
multitudes, crowds of people doubted his Words--the Word
of God. Even today, many hate and despise Him, denying He
is the Son and Word of God. How did He accept this
reality--this sometimes unforgiving, unloving, unwelcoming
and uninviting society and hostile environment which He
had been planted within? How did He endure?
As mentioned in previous chapters, Jesus knew who He

was. Still, He didn't have to accept who He was. He felt
and experienced life as we do. He knew and understood pain
and temptation. Like us, Jesus had freewill. He was free
to choose. That choice was given to Him by His Father. The
choice was presented to Him in the wilderness, when Satan
tempted Him. Living in the world, he could have fallen to
temptation, wanting to fit in and be like everybody else.
But...
God had given Him something to keep Him and that was
unconditional love. Jesus' love for His Father was
unwavering because He knew His Heavenly Father. He knew
574
that His Father lived inside of Him, and would always be

there, having promised never to leave Him alone.
By knowing God, He knew that nothing could surpass the

love His Father had for Him and His children. That same
love for mankind, flowed through Jesus. Jesus believed
like His Father that all of His Children are equal and
deserve good things that are within His will for them.
Those who followed Jesus, knew that there was something

different and special about Him put there by God. Still,
within every crowd, the doubters stood with scowls upon
their faces, some sneering and jeering. Nonetheless, Jesus
accepted it and understood it as He accepted them, knowing
that God allowed it as He allowed Satan to tempt Him in
the wilderness.
Facing adversity helped Him remember and accept who He

was and what His Father required of Him. It proved the
power of unconditional (agape) love that ran through Him
from His Father, giving Him the power to love all and
endure. Therefore, He never forgot who He was. As God's
Son, He possesses unconditional love for all mankind,
looking beyond their faults to see their needs.
As He looked down from the cross at those who had

despised, mocked and scourged him, even then, KNOWING and
ACCEPTING who He was and what His Father required Him to
do, He proved His love and acceptance, asking, "Father,
forgive them, for they know not what they do."
575
Luke 23:34(KJV)
34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they

know not what they do. And they parted his raiment,
and cast lots.
576
Chapter 18
Part 4

ACCEPTANCE (continued)
"Simple Gifts"

577
YOU are a child of God! Always know and cherish what

you are and who God created you to be.
Cherish your relationship with your Father. You cannot

fail with God, for God never fails!
God did not create people who are losers and failures,
or people who are not equal to one another. He only
created people who are nothing without Him.
If we are to change the atmosphere of our broken

society, we must change the minds and hearts of those in
darkness who have become proud, arrogant, hateful, cruel,
uncaring, violent, destructive, greedy, insensitive, and
without empathy and compassion for those unlike
themselves.
Everyone and everything has a beginning. Not to

understand this or to continue having love and hope for
all mankind would mean that our hearts too were blinded by
darkness. We also, would be without love and compassion
for our neighbor.
Darkness uses broken, hurt,ignorant, and enslaved

people to inflict relentless pain upon mankind by filling
their mouths with hateful and destructive words to label
people as inferior, undesirable, hopeless, failures, and
losers. Deception, lies, racism, violence, religious
discrimination and persecution have all taken an open seat
in public debate to legally claim a rightful place within
society.
578
We who STAND in the name of God must help to change the

rhetoric and discourse damaging, dividing, and destroying
lives, beginning by working from the inside of ourselves.
Truth will cut down the immorality and brutality of
darkness, for God is Truth and God Never Fails!
Nevertheless, as God's servants and vessels, we cannot

stand idly by, watching those within society and our
government try to harden hearts and create a society ruled
by hatred, greed and violence. We must work harder knowing
we have the power to succeed with God.
Your acceptance of yourself and of others is VITAL to

the cause to remove mankind from the path of global
warfare, which will result in the loss of millions of
lives to Darkness and Death to appease the hatred and
greed of those led by their pride and flesh, while
blissfully in bondage.
We cannot be afraid of professing our faith or using it

as the basis to defend moral conduct, the commonality of
mankind, or to rebuke the lies and harsh tenor heard
within the brash comments of our leadership, mocking the
morality, justice and sound judgment that give our
institutions and offices of authority, honor, respect,
trust and stability.
The enemy has concocted a toxic potion to poison the

minds of the public, paralyze progress, and prevent our
governments from carrying out their commitment to be
honest and just to all those they are sworn to and exists
to serve and protect. Deception and lies are sweeping from
nation to nation as a power play continues between those
serving darkness.
579
Our faith in God is what will hold us up. Our

willingness to stand together and serve Him is a
formidable wall against the enemy, for God is our
Fortress--a Bulwark never failing.
Those who lie come against God Almighty as His enemy.

Those who reject truth, holiness and righteousness, reject
God, for God is Truth, Holiness, Righteousness and Love.
My friends, it is not that we demonize our enslaved

brothers by claiming they are the enemy. However, these
are defining times. And, in times like these, the line
between Truth and lies, Darkness and Light, Good and Evil
is clearly visible and one must stand up to show which
side they serve. We must identify darkness and sin,
calling it what it is to defeat and expel it.
Those who have chosen to do the bidding of the enemy,

the Prince of Lies, join him as God's enemy, as spoken by
God, the Creator of man. They have chosen Darkness over
Light. The nature of that darkness is evil. Therefore,
they have allied with demons and evil principalities to
imitate them instead of imitating their Creator and Father
in Heaven.
No, it is not our desire to slander and call names. The

calling of names is ineffective, and falls on deaf ears,
for they have come to relish the opportunity to deceive
and lie to satisfy the hungry darkness within them and to
falsely claim power and victory. We, as the children of
God have been given the revelation of TRUTH to which
belongs the definition of true power and the Divine
authority in which to bring down giants! Whereby, in the
name of God, we do as David did, standing before the
Philistine, Goliath. We call them and their master out
with TRUTH to acknowledge the Almighty God of Abraham,
580
Isaac and Jacob!
Their treacherous words and conduct speak for

themselves, revealing that they are not of God. So, let us
in turn, wield the Sword of God, by boldly speaking the
Word of God, cutting deep within the heart of Darkness to
proclaim the power and might of the Holy One, the one and
only True God of love, truth, goodness, mercy, glory and
LIGHT!
2 Corinthians 10:3-6(KJV)

after the flesh:

but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong
holds;)


581
Chapter 18
Part 5
ACCEPTANCE, THE ENEMY WITHIN
"Simple Gifts"

582
My Dear Brothers and Sisters,
The most dangerous type of religious people are those

who are racists, discriminatory, and self-righteous,
meaning, those who believe abstinence from committing what
THEY see as sinful acts makes them holy and above other
people. For instance, they may think themselves better
than criminals who have broken man's laws. But, what about
those who have broken God's laws, which includes ALL of
us? Are we any better? Yet, their self-righteousness,
arrogance and pride rules over them, for it is a dark
power that has placed them in bondage, leaving them with
the desire to control, limit, isolate, punish, and reign
over others because of prideful belief in themselves. The
danger is not so much in their religion, for in itself, it
is powerless. True power comes from God and having a
relationship with God. The danger is in their cruel
passion and pride which they laud over men in the name of
religion.
Pride is the corrupter which takes control over the

corruptible soul. A prideful, corrupted, and religious
mind can result in the demonstrative defense of religious
rights and the legitimacy of forceful assimilation and
power over others, negating freewill, to demand and
achieve conformity to religious decrees. These religious
decrees, by placing others in bondage, are not of God, for
God's Truth and Wisdom frees all men from bondage.
A prideful, corrupted mind is separated from God and

engulfed in darkness, whereby, it is only capable of
invoking religious decrees steeped in hatred and based
583
upon prejudiced and flawed ideology affected by culture,

political beliefs and patriotism. Having given in to sin
(death), it becomes the religion which they practice in
various forms and seek to force upon others.
Pride is that sense of self-entitlement, along with

desired control, authority, and possession, even over and
above our Creator, God, Himself. It will dictate to us the
mind and ways of darkness, making us believe we are in
control. Pride boars into us and becomes a parasite,
effecting our beliefs and behavior, without our even
knowing we have been infected.
How do we identify and block pride before it invades?

First, by knowing the Word of God and then examining
ourselves constantly for hidden pride.
Ask God to reveal those areas in your life you are

prideful over (i.e.,your appearance, popularity, wealth,
job, home, car, marriage, children, intelligence,
knowledge in a particular subject, talent, skill, status,
cleanliness, promptness, health, etc.). People can find
almost anything to obsess over or laud over other people,
not realizing that it has placed them in bondage to pride.
Once God reveals your prideful areas, don't think that

it's over and your problem is solved. It is only the
beginning. You must ask God for forgiveness and accept
that deliverance. Repenting, that is, changing your ways,
involves a changed heart to attain a changed mind. You
will be tested after each new revelation and not how and
when you expect it. Do not be discouraged and give up. It
might take some time, not your time, but, God's time.
Jesus, the Word of God, is the Author and the Finisher
584
of your faith. You must believe that what God has done is
finished, for God is a god of completeness, therefore, He
will allow you to be tested in order to finish what He
began.
I am forever grateful to The Helper, God's Holy Spirit,

who speaks to me and helps me to be aware of when my pride
is in the picture, affecting my thoughts. And it is with
love and assurance that I accept His correction, knowing
that I will enjoy a clean heart and a steadfast love for
God.
Throughout our lives, as we live in abundant life,

trying to rest in Jesus and God's Holy Spirit, there will
be times when we are distracted and pride tries to rear up
its head within us. The enemy will attack at every
opportunity. Our teacher, friend and comforter will help
us to be on our guard and remain humble and prayerful.
This is true power and how sweet it is to be at peace with
yourself, those around you, the world, and of course with
God.
We've talked about: knowing how your mind works; never

forgetting who you are in Christ; knowing your purpose;
being molded by an infected society or trying to conform.
We have discussed other traps throughout this book that
can cause one to fall into the trap of pride and bondage.
God has made it easy for us to identify and cast out

pride by humbling ourselves. Remaining humble allows you
to identify the beginning, middle and end of pride. You
will see the symptoms of the crippling disease in others.
One must be humble to continue following Jesus and
imitating God's character. When you refuse to follow
Jesus, or become distracted and take yours eyes from Him,
you expose yourself to temptation and the controlling
585
urges of pride.
CREATED TO ENDURE
This stretch of our journey is intended to open your

mind to the things in your life you continue to hold on to
or refuse to accept that can keep you from following
Christ and obeying God. There are things in our lives we
must accept or should not accept in order to live our life
holy, righteously, and abundantly.
Along this journey, I've traveled down the road of

Reality, onto the road of Endurance. However, on the road
of Endurance, I ran into the crossroad of Acceptance,
where there was a road block--a huge heavy rock within a
narrow ravine. There was no going around or over the huge
rock.
It took some time just to decide rather or not to turn

around or detour to Acceptance and explore those avenues
of my mind. I decided that there was no turning back. So,
having to deal with given matters there at the point of
Acceptance, prolonged my journey, until I had given them
my full attention.
So, like most people would, I decided to take a detour.

Turning left down Acceptance Avenue, I was hoping it would
lead me back to Endurance. Along the way, I passed all the
things I SHOULDN'T ACCEPT as defining who I am and allow
to fill me with guilt and shame. Guilt and shame are not
of God, but, are the adversary's stamps of bondage and
586
enslavement.
I've come to understand how intelligent people can be

very blinded by being in self and make the wrong choices
in life. I accepted those things that have happened in my
life and recognized my overwhelming desire to be loved. I
accepted God being there watching over me, allowing me to
make mistakes, in order to grow, strengthen, and prepare
me to become who I should be. I made a mental note of my
faults and mistakes, my growth and God's love for me. Each
time I embraced and accepted my life, my heart felt
lighter and I felt stronger. Here is part of my list.
My journey learning to love God, myself, and others as

I learned that I was CREATED TO ENDURE.
Things that do not define me. Yet, God allowed them to

happen to strengthen me.
-placing myself in precarious and dangerous positions

in order not to be alone or to have a father for my
children
- living among dangerous people and in dangerous

places, such as drug houses, sleazy motels; living among
methadone, crack, cocaine, heroine, guns, killers, drug
dealers, addicts, prostitutes, con men
- believing sex could buy me love
-continuing to trust and be with those who had abused,

assaulted and taken advantage of me by either: raping me;
stealing from me; pulling a weapon on me; physically
587
abusing me; trying to strangle me; pressuring me to smoke

marijuana and pop pills
- taking my children to live in a drug, gambling, and

house of sexual promiscuity and ill repute
- putting men above God
- putting men above my children
- allowing myself to become homeless
After some time I ran into a dead end with a sign, "To
Be Continued". Disappointed, but feeling strong and
refreshed, I turned around, crossed over Endurance and
headed down the other end of Acceptance. This part of the
road was occupied by all the things I SHOULD ACCEPT as
GIFTS from God.
- God's love
- God's Son and Holy Spirit
- God's promises
- God's forgiveness
- Forgiving myself
588
- God is in control
- God has a plan for my life
- my life
- my body
- my specialized mind and how I think
- my specialized talents and skills
- truly loving people, even my enemies, and seeing them

as God sees them
- Love from others
- Help from others
- those people who criticize and ridicule me
- my weaknesses and understanding why God allowed them
- Knowing that my weaknesses compliment my strengths in

that they bring me closer to God, depending upon Him
- my family
- my children being in God's Hands
589
As I passed each one, I made a mental note of them in

my mind and again I began to feel stronger, refreshed and
even joyous in my heart. Yet, again, I reached a dead end
that said, "To Be Continued".
I returned to the crossroads of Acceptance and

Endurance feeling stronger than I had ever felt in my
life; so strong, that, I decided that I was strong enough
to push through to Endurance.
I decided to give it some real effort and remove the

stumbling block, which turned out to be the weight of my
pride. And, upon struggling to roll it out of the way, I
realized: there I was standing face to face with things in
my life, having had to determine what I SHOULD accept from
the past and present and what I SHOULDN'T accept from the
past and present, as defining who I am. Not, only that,
but, had I forgiven myself and accepted who I am. I came
to the realization that I couldn't move forward until I
had befriended ACCEPTANCE within me. There was no road for
CAN'T accept, for with God ALL things are possible. If you
are stuck at CAN'T accept, then, perhaps you should
retrace your steps or start your walk from the beginning
with Jesus.
Through various flashbacks of my past, I remembered

events that God allowed to help shape me in one way or
another, with very strong emphasis on "God Allowed."
Instead of labeling hardships and adversity with guilt

and shame, I can place them on my Learning How To Endure
Victory Shelf and label them as Blessings in Disguise.
Some people may still see them as terribly wrong choices
590
and paths and want to judge me by them. However, I must

learn to accept my actions, the consequences, and what
came out of them, good and bad and their inability to see
the hand of God.
Having been enlightened and lightened of the burdens I

carried, my strength was renewed and my faith was
restored. So,I pushed, not with doubt, fear, shame, guilt,
and weakness, but with true strength from God,
determination, and faith in God, for all that He had
brought me through.
Slowly, the boulder became dislodged and rolled down

the rocky hill. I gave a big sigh of relief, thanking God.
With the knowledge and power of Acceptance, I was able to
continue on the road of Endurance. I had made peace with
the past and I was stronger and more equipped to endure
the present and meet the future.
591
Episode 19
AUNTIE YONNY: WHO AM I?
592

Episode 19
AUNTIE YONNY: WHO AM I?
Hal had Darla set up a voice activated intercom between

his, Zenobia, and Tanya's room. They continued paying an
off-duty policeman to be night watchman, instead of hiring
a new face.
During the next few days, the police were in and out of
the building regularly and Hal felt safe. He was staying
off of his foot as much as he could to help it heal, but,
he knew his days of rest and relaxation would soon be
over. No sooner had he thought about it, then, Darla
arrived with a letter from the law firm of Wellington,
Gallegos, Childress and Stein, Esquire. The letter was
marked confidential.
Mr. Theodore Wellington of the firm was requesting a

meeting with him as soon as possible to discuss the estate
of Mrs. Miriam D. Graves-Barrett. He closed the letter
stating that it was of the utmost importance that he keep
the meeting confidential and reply immediately. Believing
he could trust Darla, Hal had her arrange the meeting. He
was surprised when she returned ten minutes later and said
that Mr. Hamilton would meet with him that afternoon.
The limousine pulled up to a private entrance behind

the building. Hal had been instructed to use the entrance
to be discreet and safe. Upon approaching the door, a
security guard introduced himself and led him to Mr.
593
Hamilton's office. There, the receptionist took him

directly into Mr. Wellington's office without wasting a
second.
There was nothing particularly special or outstanding

in Mr. Wellington's appearance. He was an aging, white
male, clean-cut and shaven, whose suit appeared to be of
the highest quality in make and design. He approached Hal
and shook his hand with confidence and poise, treating Hal
like they were just two normal businessmen getting ready
to sit down and do business, something Hal was not yet
comfortable with.
"Can I do anything to make you more comfortable Mr.

Siegfried? I can have my assistant bring you something."
"No, I'm fine, thank you."
"Then, we've got a lot to cover. I'm sorry about the

recent events and the loss of your...uh, boss and security
guard."
"Thank you, your kindness is appreciated."
"Well, let's get started. The first line of business is

Tanya Yanovich. Miriam was her guardian and the executor
of her estate. Miriam, bless her heart, was always
prepared for almost anything. She requested that you
become Mrs. Yanovich's guardian, should anything happen to
her. Perhaps, she suspected some foul play in the future.
Nonetheless, it is part of her will and last requests. Do
you intend to accept this responsibility and desire to
fulfill her wishes?"
594
Hal, thought intensely about what Theodore Wellington

was asking. Guardian for Tanya Yanovich? Someone had
already made an attempt on her life. But, if not, him, who
could be trusted? Was he putting himself directly in the
line of fire? He didn't know why, but he agreed.
"Yes, I will become her guardian and the executor of

her estate."
"Alright, good. Now, sign these papers and let us move

on."
"As these are extenuating circumstances, I have no

choice but to let you know the context of my actions in
prematurely expediting Mrs. Barrett's Will. It is of the
utmost urgency in order to continue her affairs and
protect parties involved.
In Mrs. Barrett's Will, two hundred twenty-five million

is to go to each of Mrs. Barrett's surviving
grandchildren, of which there are nine. A trust fund for
her son, who is in a mental institution, is already setup
and remains in place until his death, whereas, there are
prearranged funeral and burial arrangements. Her other two
surviving sons are left their father's two companies to
run.
Miriam's late husband was a financial genius when it

came to business, making most of his money in renewable
energy. He had two very lucrative businesses when he met
Miriam. You'll meet her two sons, at the reading of the
will. They're a little abrasive, having been under the
influence of their father, who was a better businessman
595
than a father and human being.
You shouldn't have to deal with them personally. Miriam

did the best that she could by herself, one son being
mentally impaired, one hyperactive and rebellious, and
then the oldest son got into drugs. The youngest was
killed in a car accident with friends. They didn't want
much to do with their parents when they grew up, but they
liked the money coming in.
Anyway, the remainder of withdrawable funds are to be

transferred into an account in your name. You are to take
ownership of all of her inherited Graves businesses and
personal properties of which there are currently four
hundred seventeen and eight respectively. There are six
homes and two apartments, one each in New York, Los
Angeles, Houston, Denver, Miami, Seattle and an apartment
in Paris and Monte Carlo.
Then, there are vehicles, boats, a yacht, jet,

helicopter, limousines and a fleet of motor cars,
historical and late models, stock portfolios,
bonds,jewelry and precious metals, oil and mineral rights,
commercial rental properties and vacant land.
All accrued debt, taxes, licenses, and filing fees have

been deducted, leaving your current net worth temporarily
at one hundred fifteen billion, until the passing of Mrs.
Yanovich, whereas, it has been arranged for you to inherit
one hundred seventy-five billion, most of which was
acquired through her Russian husband, Ilya Yanovich, which
would have passed down first through Mrs. Barrett, then,
into your hands. Your total net worth will be two hundred
ninety billion, placing you in the top ten richest men in
the world.
596
We'll need you to start signing this stack of papers to

finalize everything."
As he took the sleek and expensive gold pen in his

hand, Hal's heart started beating abnormally fast. He
started sweating and noticed his hands were shaking and
sweaty. He couldn't think straight. He never thought he'd
say it, but it all seemed surreal. He'd dreamed of
becoming rich and famous, but, not this rich and famous,
and not under these circumstances.
"Now, there is one more thing that I have been

instructed to tell you as Mrs. Barrett's last request. I
didn't foresee it being so soon. She had hoped everything
would be up and running with you in charge before this day
came."
Hal stopped writing and stared at Mr. Wellington with a

deadpan face. He didn't know how much more he could take
at that moment.
"May I get some water and use your restroom first?"
"Of course, Hal. I'm waiting for one of our senior

partners, anyway. He insisted on being here when I
informed you."
Hal felt like dashing out of the room, and running

outside to breathe, but, he tried to maintain his
demeanor. On the way out, he passed an elderly, well-
dressed Black man, whom, he assumed was the senior
partner. He nodded his head in greeting and hurried past
him to the men's room up ahead.
597
Dashing to the sink, Hal couldn't remember when he'd

been so overwhelmed and not in control. His face was so
hot and sweaty that, for a minute or so, he just splashed
cold water on it, drinking out of his hand. Raising his
head and looking in the mirror, he studied his face,
looked into his eyes and asked himself,
"Who are you, Hal Siegfried? Do you know, now? How will
all of this effect you? Will you be the same person next
year?"
When he returned, the two men were seated at the

conference table laughing.
"I'm sorry I took so long."
Mr. Wellington looked at the other man and laughingly

said, "We're just glad you're still with us and didn't
have a heart attack. I know I would have."
The two men started laughing again.
"Hal, I'd like you to meet Mr. Childress. He's one of

our senior partners in the firm. He also worked closely
with your...Mrs. Barrett."
Mr. Childress rose and came around to shake Hal's hand.
"How do you do, Hal? It's an honor to meet you. We

passed in the hallway."
598
"Yes, sorry I was in a hurry to get to the men's room.

It's..."
Mr. Childress put his arm around Hal and guided him to
a chair at the table, pulled the chair out for him and
seated him.
"Thank you. It's an honor to meet you, too. Mr.

Wellington said that there was a last request from Mrs.
Barrett. Is there something that she wants me to do?"
"Well...yes and no, Hal," replied Mr. Childress. "It's

more of something that you need to know and something that
was done for you. We only learned of the information
within the past month, when we were drawing up all the
legal documents for Mrs. Barrett. We tried to find as many
ways as possible to work the inheritance so that it would
be uncontested, since you weren't considered a relative.
But then, Mrs. Barrett said that it wouldn't be necessary
and presented us with these documents."
Mr. Childress opened a folder filled with old papers,

pictures and forms.
"Hal this is your great-grandmother, Elizabeth Howard.

She worked for the Graves family."
"Wow, where did you get these photos? I've never seen
them before. Wait a minute. I was told that my
grandmother's maiden name was Johnson. Did Elizabeth
Howard remarry or was my grandmother illegitimate?"
The two attorneys looked at one another. Mr. Wellington
599
spoke.
"Well, Hal, your grandmother was illegitimate, but that

isn't why she had a different name. She was adopted."
Hal interrupted, unaware of where all of this was

leading.
"Oh, so, Elizabeth Howard adopted my grandmother!"
This time, Mr. Childress intervened.
"No, Hal."
The two men looked at one another again, both looking

very uncomfortable.
"Hal, we're trying to make this as easy on you as we

possibly can. Would you like a drink? Gin? Vodka? Whatever
you'd like."
"No, I just want to know what you two gentleman are

having such a hard time telling me."
"Hal, when Elizabeth Howard worked for the Graves

family, she had a child, your grandmother."
"Okay and..."
"Elizabeth Howard was Black and the father was White."
600
"Yes, I know that we are a biracial family."
"Well, the father was a member of the Graves family."
Hal, jumped out of his chair, then, looking defiantly

at the two men, shouted.
"NO...NO...you're kidding...NOOOOOO!"
"Now, sit down, Hal, there's more."
Slowly, Hal sat down holding his head, grabbing his

hair, as he did when he was stressed out.
"Willard Graves, who became President Graves, was the

father. Rumor was it was rape."
Hal jumped up out of his seat and began pacing the room
and turning around from side to side. There was no calming
down or sitting down. His blood was boiling and his head
was spinning. Surely, this couldn't be true. Hal was
furious.
"You mean Tanya and Miriam knew this all along and
didn't tell me? Miriam wasn't going to let me know until
she was dead? THEY WERE ASHAMED OF ME AND MY FATHER! THEY
WERE ASHAMED OF MY GRANDMOTHER! AND SHE DIED BECAUSE OF
THEM?! WILLARD GRAVES, THAT SON OF A...HE RAPED MY
GRANDMOTHER? HE RAPED MY GRANDMOTHER!!!"
601
Hal had never felt as Black as he did in that moment.

He looked down at his light brown hands and arms. The
color was familiar to him, but, not what it so clearly
meant at that moment. He was brought up not to think in
terms of race and he rarely did, but now, he felt his
Blackness under attack. Hal began to cry and shout through
his tears, seething with anger.
"I DON'T WANT THE MONEY! YOU CAN KEEP IT! THE GRAVES
CAN SHOVE IT UP...!"
"HAL, You don't mean that, now calm down!"
Mr. Childress wrapped his arms around Hal and seated

him back in the chair. Hal still couldn't be still. He
rocked back and forth and pounded the table.
"I guess that's why Mr. Childress is here. You wanted a

Black man in here to handle me and break the bad news how
the white master raped the black slave girl?!"
"Hal...please! No, he didn't ask me. I asked him. I

know how it feels to be a Black man. I wanted to be here
to help because I care. It's not fair to take out your
anger on him because he's a white man!"
"I'm sorry, Mr. Wellington."
Hal's stomach began to churn and twist into knots

making him miserable.
"OH, GOD! Oooooh God! I don't want to be a Graves! I

hate them even more now! Everybody hates them! They
602
destroyed this country and killed millions of people. They

killed my grandmother. I watched my grandfather cry
sometimes because he missed her. And Rachel's parents.
Oooooh no...Rachel!"
Mr. Childress went on...
"Now, I know that this won't make it any better, but, I

have to tell you the rest of the story. They put Elizabeth
up in a house with a midwife, but she gave birth in the
county hospital. They forced her to give the child up for
adoption, but, they kept track of where the child was. It
was quite ironic that the first to die in the civil war
was a Graves and no one even knew it. Then, when they told
the president about her death, he just chalked it up to a
convenient way to bury his dirty past."
Hal clinched his fists and pounded the table again. He

couldn't let go of his anger.
"But, somehow, Tanya...Tanya is your great-aunt, Hal."
Hal covered his face and wept.
"Tanya heard about the rumor and wouldn't let it go.

She investigated and found your family, then, continued to
follow and get reports."
"Why didn't she help us?"
"She didn't want to put you in danger. You have no idea

what you're dealing with, do you?"
603
"No, I guess I don't."
The attorney presented him with legal documentation to

prove he was a Graves: his great-grandmother's picture
when she worked for the Graves family; her name in the
financial reports as a domestic employee; the place where
they sent her; the invoices and receipts for her care and
prenatal care and delivery; her name on the original birth
certificate of his grandmother. Then there was the
document for legal consent to give the baby up for
adoption; the children's home she was taken to; the
adoption papers signed by her adopting parents; her health
and school records; her marriage license to Hal's
grandfather; and her name on Hal's father's birth
certificate.
The documents were old and appeared to be authentic.

Hal's father was a Graves and so was he. Hal worried about
how he could break this news to his father. Then, a chill
came over him as he realized his father was in danger,
too. His thoughts were racing inside of him and fear took
a hold of him.
"How can I protect my father?! He won't want to move

from the house he grew up in and lived with my mother.
And, Rachel?! What about Rachel?! Will I lose her now if
she knows I'm a Graves? OH NO! Is she in even more danger
if I go out with her? I'll have to stay away from her!
Why, God? I don't want to be a Graves! I want a DNA

test. I can't be. It's not possible."
Hal was crying and blubbering like a child. He was
604
embarrassed. He knew it had to be somewhat comical to the

two men. Here he was, a grown man, unable to accept who he
really is and who he is related to, but, if anybody had
reason to complain, thought Hal, he did.
"Hal, the proof is right before your eyes," said

Wellington. There is no need for a test. You wouldn't have
been contacted if we weren't one hundred percent sure of
your identity. The documents are real. They had to keep
your family a secret or you might have been murdered by
anyone who hated the Graves family for what they did. Now,
there's even more reason to keep it quiet. Your cousin and
your aunt were uncovering too many family secrets and
there is feuding within the family, not to mention that
Derek Graves is running for president. You've got enemies,
Hal. Just because of who you are."
Hal looked at the pictures of his great-grandmother.

She was as beautiful as her daughter. Growing up seeing
the picture of his white grandfather and biracial
grandmother, all he really saw was love between them, how
happy they were, and how beautiful his grandmother was.
Mr. Wellington gave him a box of tissues. Hal, dried

his eyes and blew his nose, feeling even more embarrassed.
Mr. Childress came over and placed his hand upon Hal's
shoulder, watching him. Hal went back to signing the
documents, still shaky and upset.
Mr. Childress continued...
"Don't expect the Graves family to welcome you into the

family like a long lost relative."
605
"I don't. They don't have a good history regarding race

relations."
"No, they haven't changed much. But, the way I see it,
you made out alright and you're better off without them."
Hal looked across the table at Theodore Wellington, who

was red in the face and embarrassed himself, with all the
talk about race and slavery.
"I want to hear the rest, Mr. Wellington. I want to

know what happened to my great-grandmother."
Theodore Wellington looked up at Mr. Childress as if

he'd been asked to continue torturing an already beaten
and bleeding man. Childress nodded his head for him to
divulge the rest of the Graves' family secret and uncover
another skeleton in the closet.
"Willard Graves' old man was in the Klan. He couldn't

have them find out about his son lusting after a Black
woman and fathering a half-black child. So...so...they
sent your great-grandmother back home to a small town
outside of Biloxi, Mississippi. She had family down there.
Of course they gave her what they considered to be a
considerable amount of money for her kind to receive for
her troubles. I'm just putting it the way it was told. I
believe she received a year's salary, thirty-five thousand
dollars."
"He rapes her, gets her pregnant, shuts her up in a

house with a midwife, sells the baby, then, gives her
thirty-five thousand dollars when he's got millions? Not
that it would have helped anything!"
606
It was all Hal could do to remain seated. Mr. Childress

tightened the grip on his shoulder pressing down to keep
him in his seat. Wellington continued...
"You're right, Hal. There was no way that he could make

it better. He should have paid for his crimes.
After they took the child away, your great-grandmother

was in a fragile mental and physical state. It was said
that she was looked after by a sister, until she died."
"He ruined her life! He killed her inside!"
Mr. Childress sat down beside him. Keeping an arm

around him, he spoke to him like a father would speak to a
troubled son.
"Son, our people have endured this kind of treatment

throughout history. White men have been raping our women
and fathering children, disowning the child, or treating
them worse than their white children, selling the child,
or putting them out on the streets. Whether it was the
plantation, a mansion, or the projects, it's all the same
hatred and ignorance.
But, you've got a chance to turn this into good and

right some wrongs for a whole lot of people if you keep
your head on straight and your wits about you. You are the
richest Black man alive now. Don't let the Graves family
and what they did stop you from being the best that you
can be to a whole lot of people. Don't harden your heart
like them, son, and let your money go to your head. Pride
comes before the fall and it affects both sides. You can
607
be too proud to accept the money. You can let your Black
pride cause you to hate and want revenge. Or, you can stay
humble, loving everybody, even your enemies."
"Sir, all I want is a normal life and Rachel. I may

lose her and my friends when they find out that I'm a
Graves."
"Then, they were never your friends and she never loved
you.
People have got to stop hating, son, if we're going to
make a difference in this world. The Graves hate, so you
hate them back. Whites hating and blaming Blacks. Blacks
hating and blaming Whites. It doesn't make SENSE! WE CAN'T
KEEP BLAMING PEOPLE FOR SOMETHING SOMEBODY RELATED TO THEM
DID IN THE PAST! IT'S GOT TO STOP!
Listen, just go home and get some rest. Stay off of

that sore foot. This was a lot for you to take in all at
once. It will be clearer to you, tomorrow. Call me if you
need anything."
Mr. Childress shook Hal's hand and started to head for

the door. Hal wasn't too sure about things getting
clearer. He wasn't even sure of where home was any more.
As the heir to Miriam's estate, he now owned many homes,
too many in his opinion.
"Oh, one more thing, Hal, remember that God has His own
way of righting wrongs. His ways are not like our ways. I
saw that your Grandfather Siegfried was a minister. I know
that he would tell you the same thing. And, I know you're
in a lot of pain right now, conflicted about who you are
and what you should do. But, the best thing you can do is
608
accept what God has done for you and all that He allowed
to happen to you and your family.
Acceptance is your first step in healing and moving on.

Accept who GOD created you to be. Your abundant life isn't
determined by who contributed to your DNA. However, you
should accept that God created you from their DNA because
God SPECIALIZES! There is nobody like you to do what He
created you to do at this time in your life. Their DNA
helped to make you who you are. Accept it and let God use
it.
You probably had made peace with your blackness and

whiteness a long time ago. Now, it may seem that you have
to start all over again to put them back together. Knowing
how and where that whiteness and blackness began and who
it came from is unsettling, I know. Just remember that
hatred and cruelty isn't limited to one race and you don't
want to become what you loathe.
Hal, we all can be traced back to the first Adam who

sinned against God. Since then, Black men and White men
have fallen short of holiness and righteousness. That's
why we need the second Adam, Jesus, the perfect man, who
conquered the world.
Life is short Hal. We don't have the time or the

authority to judge other men. Jesus helped provide a way
for your salvation. Knowing what you know now about your
family and what they did to try and destroy this world,
you have a choice to make in which way you want to go, who
you want to follow, and what you want to do with your life
to build a better world.
Accept God's gifts, the white and the black and show
609
men what love, equality and justice mean. Let God use you
to make the world a better place."
Childress looked at his watch.
"It's been a pleasure to meet you, Hal. You'll make it

through this, with God. I know you will. We'll talk again,
sometime. God Bless and keep you."
Hal stood up and hugged Leon Childress. Childress

winked at Theodore Wellington who winked back. Taking a
long look at Hal, Childress burst into laughter.
"Old man Graves is probably in his grave in a tirade,

cursing the devil out, spitting fire and brimstone and
kicking up a dust storm, knowing that a Black man just
inherited his fortune and it's worth 500 times or more
than what he ever had. Heh-heh, HA-HA-HAHAHA!"
"Ted, I'll see you on the golf course this weekend.

Thanks for letting me help."
"You're more than welcome, Leon. I'm buying lunch this

weekend."
"Alright, free lunch! Goodbye, gentlemen!
Childress slapped Hal on the back, then, resumed his

laughing fit, as he made his way out of the door and down
the hallway. Hal managed a grin, then, sat down to finish
signing a stack of legal forms, taking ownership of the
Graves-Barrett Estate and Enterprises.
610
What was he going to do next? He knew that the first

thing he wanted to do was to take care of Arturo's family,
so that they would never want for another thing.
After signing the stack of documents, Hal felt as if he

was choking. He wasted no time in saying goodbye to
Theodore Wellington and heading outside to the limousine.
Relieved to get out of the stifling atmosphere of the
attorney's office, lined with matching sets of law books,
leather chairs and mahogany wood, he began clawing at his
tie and managed to untie it, while wiggling out of his
suit jacket. He breathed deeply to fill his lungs with
fresh air. Being in that office, hearing everything he was
now responsible for made him feel like there was something
heavy pressing against his chest.
And those people...
"Those people, I'm one of them now--right up at the

top.
611
Episode 20
AUNTIE YONNY:
GUILTY CONVERSATIONS
612

Episode 20
AUNTIE YONNY:
GUILTY CONVERSATIONS
"Did they get the account numbers?"
"NO! Why you calling here! What are you trying to do,
hang me?!
"HE WANTS TO KNOW!"
"OF ALL THE GD stupid things! Why'd you call here?

They've got taps on my MF phone. I don't care if he wants
to know or not. Don't call me GD! I told him not to
contact me. EVER!"
"He's worried about you cooperating."
"DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME! WORRY ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENING

THERE! HE'S NOT MAKING THINGS ANY BETTER!"
"Listen, I've got to let him know."
"I'm through kissing A..."
"Just answer yes or no."
613
"It's not that simple. I've got other things to worry

about. I care about my life and my wife, okay? I know he's
not worried about my F... life. Whatever I do I've got to
answer to Moscow and I'm looking at time. I don't give a
damn what he's worried about right now. Their on my GD
back right now, OKAY?!
"Let us know what they find."
"NO YOU STUPID B...! YOU'RE F... STUPID! BYE!"
***************************************************
"Well, I don't want them coming into OUR house,

terrorizing my kids. This has got to END, JOHN!"
"WHAT?! You WANT me to go to jail Tanya! You WANT me to

go to jail?! And maybe you'll go too. Then, what will
happen to YOUR kids?! I don't want that to happen, either!
Don't you think I care about OUR kids?!
And I told you, even if they came, they wouldn't find

anything. I know better than to have that kind of stuff at
home."
"You know we can't trust my father. You KNOW that.

He'll say something stupid that hurts everybody, then,
make somebody say that he didn't."
"I know, but, it's harder to get to him, now, with the
new general around. If I lie about what I'm going to see
him about, he has ways of going back and checking. He
can't be trusted. I think he's there to spy on us anyway
614
and just massaged his way into favor."
"Can we get rid of him?"
"Not, yet."
***************************************************
"(crying) JOHN! THEY'VE GOT EVIDENCE! WHAT ARE WE GOING

TO DO?"
"Calm down! I can't understand you..."
"EVIDENCE! THEY'VE GOT EVIDENCE!"
"What do you mean they've got evidence? Where are you?"
"Uh...(sniffling)...I'm in my office. They're in there

talking to dad now. You've got to get here fast.
"I'm tied up right now."
Now, John! I can't handle this by myself! There are

reporters and cameras everywhere!
(sobbing) OH, GOD, JOHN! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!"
***************************************************
615
Hal, sat up straight in his bed, turned on the light

and stared at the intercom. Incoherent words muffled by
crying and moaning alerted him, along with a flashing
light indicating that it was Tanya's room. He slid into
his slippers, took a small revolver from his beside
drawer, and rushed to Tanya's room, fearing another attack
on her life.
The security desk was empty and Hal only hoped that the
police officer, Chaudhary, was well ahead of him. He
wasn't prepared to kill anyone, but, he would if he had
to.
Zenobia and Officer Chaudhary were standing around

Tanya's bed. Zenobia was doing everything she could to
wake Tanya and calm her down.
"What's going on Zenobia? Did someone break in?"
"No, Hal. She's been having these dreadful nightmares

ever since her niece died. Sometimes I can't wake her.
Keeping her sedated isn't good for her, either. I've
informed the doctor, but, he said that it can be expected
after the terrible way her niece died. Usually, the
episodes don't go on for long, but, they've been hard on
her health. The doctor doesn't expect her to last much
longer."
Hal moved closer to Tanya's bed and took her hand.
"TANYA! TANYA! IT'S HAL! IT'S HAL, TANYA! WAKE UP! IT'S
JUST A DREAM!"
616
He rubbed her hand gently, repeating her name. Slowly,

she opened her eyes.
"IT'S HAL TANYA...IT'S JUST A DREAM. YOU'RE ALRIGHT.

WE'RE ALL HERE FOR YOU."
Tanya began to breathe easier. She squeezed Hal's hand,

while tears rolled from the corners of her eyes.
"I'll sit here with you for a while. Try to rest and think
about something good." Hal laughed. "I'm pretty good at
boring people and talking them to sleep. I'll sit here and
talk or read a while. Okay?"
Tanya nodded her head.
Zenobia breathed a heavy sigh and smiled at Hal.
"It seems you've got the touch tonight, Hal. I'll turn
it over to you."
Officer Chaudhary exited the room with Zenobia, leaving

Hal sitting holding Tanya's hand.
"Well, Auntie Tanya, it looks like it's just us night

owls."
Tanya turned her head, looked at Hal, and smiled.
617
Chapter 19
Part 6
TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE
BE YOURSELF:
WHEN THE WORLD IS TELLING YOU TO BE
SOMETHING ELSE
Until we become fully aware of our spiritual

selves, as connected to God, MOST often, WE ARE
BEING WHO WE CHOOSE TO PRESENT TO OTHERS.
618
I'd like to share with you a series of disturbing

experiences that are not unique to me, by any means. By
themselves, each experience seems unrelated and isolated.
Together, they are traces of the hand of God opening my
eyes to myself and the world around me. When we look at
our lives, each of us has had experiences that God allowed
in order to show us who we are or who we should be. The
hurt and pain we endured was God's purifying fire to
remove the dross and refine us as pure gold. Such are the
three experiences below when I thought I was just being
myself.
A one-on-one situation with someone telling me to be

myself and evaluating my behavior; choosing to evaluate me
from their first impression. Yet, the first statements
from this individual were a result of their inability to
see beyond my skin color, revealing their ignorance of
people of color. They attempted to relate to me by telling
me that they always knew they would probably marry a black
man. What White person knows these types of things and
why? It makes one feel as if there is a secret crystal
ball that they don't share with Black people. On other
occasions, I was told that I didn't have to worry about
being out in the sun and tanning or having visible
varicose and spider veins in my legs. This makes one want
to ask, "Did they make up another species for Black
people, lied about our skin, and they're trying to keep it
a secret among themselves?" Are they still teaching white
children that Black people have tails? Yes, it is very
disturbing what some people don't understand about being
yourself and allowing others to be themselves.
619
A situation in a taxi with someone expecting me to be

what they had fixed in their mind as a stereotypical black
person.
A situation where I had a telephone conversation with a

job interviewer, who expected me to be white, based upon
my name, resume, voice and fairly decent mastery of the
English language. Then, when I showed up for an interview
and they discovered that I wasn't white, they reacted
negatively, by quickly pointing out ways in which I wasn't
qualified, without allowing me to be tested or
interviewed. I was intentionally left with the implied
impression and unspoken statement, "How dare you pretend
to be somebody else--someone you don't have a right to
be." All along, I thought I had legitimate identification,
a proven record, and I was being myself.
Of course I am making light of very serious and grave

situations, that have severely impacted billions of lives
and are clear examples of discrimination and stereotyping,
but, only because I have overcome, conquered and look to
prepare others to do the same. Yes, many of us have
experienced similar degrading and discriminatory
situations, especially if we are a minority. People may
want to be themselves, only to find that being yourself is
a freedom only afforded to certain individuals, a
particular race, or economic status. Therefore, to be
ourselves within this world, we must look to God.
What keeps the world turned upside down is what we

believe we've conceived in our minds, but, what we instead
have conceived and hidden in our hearts; for the mind
follows the heart.
Our impressions of other people are affected by what is

in our heart, whether it be a first or a last impression.
620
We can base our opinion of others on what we hear or what

we see and know, but, how much of what we see, know and
feel is factual, if we aren't seeing and feeling through
God's eyes? To understand and know others, we must first
know our true selves,that is, who God created us to be.
Not until I realized how disturbing these previous

experiences had been to me, did I become aware that it was
not just another attempt of the enemy to attack my pride,
but, another way of God to show me or remind me of who I
am and who He created me to be.
It is easy to see how adversity wins when people lack

understanding, compassion and empathy for others. If we
could only take the time to find out how, why and where
they obtained their preconceived notions, impressions and
prejudices, we can find ways of counteracting instead of
resorting to negatively reacting.
What made the aforementioned experiences somewhat

disturbing was the fact that those I was interacting with
were at that time, neither capable of understanding the
situation in which they had put me, nor, could they
possibly understand me (and you know how we all like to be
understood). There are millions of people out there in the
world, everyday, who are forced to live the same
experiences, or as it is often put, they are forced to
wear the same shoes. How can we be ourselves when others
are trying to force us to be or become someone or
something else?
621
Chapter 20
Part 7
BE YOURSELF:
I AM NOT SIMPLY HUMAN!
622
You may be of any race, religion, age, or gender,

trying to be yourself, and people may interpret your
behavior in various ways, differing in opinion. People may
come to the conclusion that you are being fake, phony,
out-of-character, deceiving, etc. You may find yourself in
an awkward or uncomfortable situation where the need
arises to question your feelings, behavior or actions.
"Are you being yourself? Are you trying to fit in? Are you
being affected by peer pressure, money, other incentives,
or pride? Are you being inhibited in any way from BEING
yourself? What are you agreeing with that you know in your
heart is WRONG?"
Who can analyze your behavior and come to the

conclusion that you are not being yourself? Who knows you
well enough to make that statement? On what facts are they
basing their opinion? Is it your age; race; social status;
intelligence; the length of time they've known you; how
you interact with others; how you present yourself to THEM
on a one-to-one basis; your faith or religion; or are they
going on hearsay? How does someone else KNOW for certain
that you are or are not being yourself?
Have you been the same person all of your life? Has any
of us been the same person throughout our lives?
Hopefully, we've not only grown in body, but, in mind and
character.
When are we changing, transitioning or being

enlightened? When are we finished GROWING? If we are a
Believer in God's Promises to us, then, we realize that we
NEVER stop growing and God is continually helping us to
become more like Him. He often uses mysterious ways to
bring this about, unbeknownst to us and others. Therefore,
623
can we ever know our TRUE selves without God?
Is it possible that we are living in the moment (God's

calculation of a moment), in which we let God use us in
the form and capacity created for that moment? Is that how
I KNOW who I am, by being free to use all of me in the
Will and Way of God? Then, like GOD, I AM UNLIMITED and
UNINHIBITED!
Can I be happy in this state, which requires being

selfless? Am I truly functional, stabilized, and effective
in this state? Can people understand me in this state? Can
I understand and accept myself in this state?
Our fluctuating state of being and our seemingly

unlimited capacity as a spiritual being to grow, explains
much about people and the world. It is why a good actor
can be a good actor and a good spy can be a good spy. It
is why we are able to grow and change without interruption
and reprogramming. People have been endowed with the
ability not only to act like many people, but, to become
many people. It is part of our freewill, our choice in who
we choose to be in this world.
Now, in the scientific world, they would call this

coping methods or adaptations to one's environment or
circumstances. However, this depends on if the changes are
being made to cope, deceive, or to ENHANCE or GROW ones
own being.
Challenging roles often grow actors and enhance their

skills. Yet, without the natural ability to morph or add
these untapped resources to their character, they would
not be able to grow. Therefore, our Creator, INTENDED to
give us the ability to be more and ALL that we can be,
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which does not mean that it has to change WHO He created

us to be.
Exodus 3 :14,15(KJV) And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT

I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of
Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you.
15 And God said moreover unto Moses, Thus shalt thou
say unto the children of Israel, the LORD God of your
fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God
of Jacob, hath sent me unto you: this is my name for ever,
and this is my memorial unto all generations.
Science and Medicine are in their INFANCY and to grow

into its fullness, God must allow it to include the
spiritual aspects of life and the universe. Therefore,
they can only explain what is apparent, known, and
physically proven and accepted as normality and truth as
known to man.
In coming to accept our true selves as spiritual beings

living in earthen bodies, we must acknowledge ALL aspects
and capabilities of our being. Until we become fully aware
of our spiritual selves, as connected to God(AWAKENED),
MOST often, WE ARE BEING WHO WE CHOOSE TO PRESENT TO
OTHERS. Therefore, the categories and analysis of
behavior, personalities and norms for EVERYONE changes to
those OF the world and those IN the world, those who serve
God and those who serve Darkness and self.
Having said that, let us look at our present situation

in government, national politics, and the people involved.
If our leaders are OF the world, who are they presenting
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themselves to us as and who do they really serve? Do they

truly know themselves?
Currently in the United States, we have a president

controlled by another president doing his bidding. He has
never found who he is in Christ and never followed Him.
Instead, he has become a tool of darkness, easily swayed
by temptations and greed. He continues to baffle billions
of people with his behavior, but is it really baffling? Is
it really unpredictable? Is it really irrational?
He chooses how to present himself to the world in order

to deceive the world and to please another who controls
him. This in itself is unremarkable and considering that
darkness is incapable of creating, just enslaving, it is
predictable.
There is never any deviation from darkness's plan to

kill, steal and destroy. Therefore, Putin and Trump's
plans are predictable, for they are enslaved by darkness
and the two are joined together in crime and deception to
fool the world. They only make it appear that they are at
odds with one another, when, they have only chosen another
route to achieve their goals.
North Korea was always part of the plan. The

president's reactions to North Korea have been well
thought out and planned by his controller in Russia to
weaken and destroy the United States. The question isn't
why Trump behaves in such a bazaar fashion the answer is--
Putin, and what Trump will gain through Putin. America?
Putin gains through America's weakness and losses. We have
a president who is only interested in financial gain,
fame, and protecting himself.
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We must come to accept that there is a new type of

warfare and a new meaning of being under siege and
occupation. People have allowed themselves to accept
people who are steeped in darkness and sin, ignoring who
they are, in order to pursue financial gain, status,
control and hatred. Electing a president driven and
motivated by the same factors is a rational move by those
in bondage to Darkness.
In knowing who you are and being who God created you to
be, you have the God given power to save lives and make
lives better. There are people who are just tired of being
hurt by others everyday; people who are afraid to face the
world; and people who are afraid to face who they have
allowed themselves to become. Tapping in to this to turn
it around, requires having a heart and love for God's
people. Abundant life was never meant to be a selfish
endeavor and cannot be achieved without sharing it with
others.
No, as Believers, we are not simply human, given to

weaknesses and inevitable mistakes. How cruel it would
have been for God to make us over and leave us in that
state. Therefore, having been born again of God's Holy
Spirit, we are MORE than conquerors, MORE THAN SIMPLY
HUMAN! Yes, we will make mistakes, but, those mistakes do
not define us as being human. Because of Jesus, our sins
have been forgiven. Within our salvation, when we fall, we
no longer have to face death. Now, we don't just fall, we
get up! Should I be distracted and fall, it is an
opportunity to Glorify God, not simply to say that I'm
just human. To accept myself and be myself, I accept the
new and improved me. I think different and I AM DIFFERENT!
You can go on using that old excuse that identifies you

with the old man within you who clung to sin, but, I
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choose to bury the old man and take my place as a Child of

God, joint heir to my Father's Kingdom, endowed with His
Holy Spirit and Power.
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Chapter 21
Part 8
BE YOURSELF:
A DIVIDED COUNTRY
"How can we be a divided country, if we are One

Nation Under God and we all love and obey God?"
629
Surrounded by an environment of deception and lies,

living in this type of world, how am I to be myself when
most of the people around me don't know who they are? Am I
being myself, if I don't recognize at all times that I am
a child of God? Let's look at the past situations I have
found myself in. What should be my reaction if I am led by
God?
1.In a one-on-one situation with someone telling me to

be myself and evaluating my behavior
2.In a taxi with someone expecting me to be a
stereotypical black person
3.On the phone with someone expecting me to be white,
then, reacting negatively when I showed up for an
interview and they discovered that I wasn't
4.In an experience like Jesus and like Him, knowing who
I am
One of the things I love about public transportation is

that most of the drivers like small talk, or have a story
they want to tell to break up the monotony of their day.
Many truly like to entertain their passengers and are very
gifted and good at doing so. Every once in a while you
have a bad experience or a truly unforgettable encounter
with a driver. My response in handling such things is
sometimes a little out of the ordinary or unconventional.
I guess I'm always looking for an opportunity to point the
way to my Father.
I live in a republican dominated state, so, more than

likely I will encounter republicans and Trump supporters
throughout the day, which is fine. "Can't we all just get
along?" Conflict and confrontation? Who has time for that?
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So, I wasn't looking for debate or conflict when I got in

a taxi headed to my medical appointment.
My driver was a friendly young woman I had the pleasure

of riding with before. However, that day, she was very
proud that she had bought a new car and wanted me to know
about it. She also wanted me to know that it was a newer
model and she had full insurance coverage. This was a
first for her and I shared in the joy of her
accomplishment.
The celebration ended when she began to describe how

her mother requested her to use the car when they were
driving on a side of town occupied by "too many
foreigners." Her mother's instructions were to run over as
many of those foreigners as she could. Okay. This is where
there was supposed to be mutual laughter and consensus.
Instead, I asked her, "Would your mother run over me,
too?" I had just put a crowbar in the wheel, sabotaged her
party and rained on her parade all at the same time. Her
demeanor changed.
She answered, "Why? Where are you from?" Thank

goodness, I could answer that I was born in the United
States. Had I answered with any other non-Caucasian or
Christian dominated country, or thought about revealing my
Native American indigenous roots, I might have been
immediately ejected from the taxi and might never have
made it to my destination.
She continued espousing her condemnation and obvious

hatred of "foreigners" and what should be done to them,
praising Trumps newly proposed legislature to ban
immigrants who can't speak English. I decided to shed some
light on the subject and the idea of the degrees of
speaking English well, offering the first lady as an
631
example of poor English speakers. I commented that she did

not present herself as being down-to-earth, but, instead,
very much an elitist. Again, her demeanor changed for she
had nothing but praise for the first lady whom she also
held in high esteem like her husband.
At this point, she had had enough of me. Feeling I was

bashing her idols because I was part of the opposition and
resistance, she surmised, "Well, we have a really divided
country." Instead of agreeing with her, I said,"How can we
be a divided country, if we are "One Nation Under God" and
we all love and obey God?" Well, I guess I had pulled out
the Sword and cut too deep. Her response was to kick me
out of her taxi for the day. So, without any explanation,
she said, "You know Mack, call him to pick you up."
Upon calling Mack, of course, he was furious that she

refused to fulfill her duty and shoved the responsibility
upon him. He was already too busy and overwhelmed. So,
when he picked me up, he was irritated and angry--a chain
reaction and the devil believed he could chalk one up for
the team. But, what was I feeling inside? How had this
affected me? Why had she expected me to be on the same
page, to say, agreeing with her egregious acts of imagined
terrorism upon immigrants and people who simply who were
not like her? As a stereotypical Black person was I too
supposed to be irate and disgruntled, hating immigrants
escaping war, poverty, terror and oppression and trying to
make a better life for themselves? Should I bow and kneel
before Trump because, "What have I got to lose?" Is it
that in his and her mind, they believe that we Black
people are so bad off that we should worship him as our
savior? Was I out of character and not being myself? Was I
too uppity for a Negro?
I was stymied, mentally blocked from moving on. What
632
had transpired was incredible and a sheer reflection of

the volatile atmospheric political climate and toxic
clouds hovering over the nation. People have been
EMBOLDENED by our president and his political cronies to
spread TRUMPISM, which is: hatred, violence, bullying,
racism, discrimination, nationalism, partisanism, and any
other negative act burgeoning within them they crave to
act out upon someone who doesn't think, act, or look like
them.
Well, Mack had pointed out the driver's mother to me in

the past and told me to be careful not to say anything
negative about her daughter. Lo and behold, my next driver
was her mother, whom I'd never had any problems with in
the past and continue to treat with love and respect to
this day.
No doubt, Satan had a plan to not only disrupt my day

but to disrupt my life through this situation. My daughter
told me to call and get the young woman fired and if I
didn't, she would. I reminded her of who she is in Christ
and that getting the woman fired would not help her, but
instead, I could only hope that they make her my driver
permanently to be a positive presence in her life.
As a MINORITY within a situation, community or nation,

it is extremely difficult too live abundantly when you are
treated as and considered to be less than who you are and
lesser than a human being. People who treat others in this
manner are a constant distraction on our pathway,
following Christ. We must see them as distractions,
however, they are dangerous distractions that must be
dealt with in positive ways. We can build up a thick skin,
but, beneath the thickest skin is still a tender heart
capable of pain. We are only vulnerable to their hateful
rhetoric and malignant and self-destructive behavior, if
633
we don't know who we are in Christ. Children of God,

Soldiers of the Cross, Ambassadors of Jesus and the
Kingdom of God, the Head and not the tail, strong and
mighty conquerors of the world, etc. And no matter who we
are, where we have come from, or the color of our skin,
"If God be for us, then, who can be against us?"
However, if people can't stereotype me and put me into

a box, category, and personality type, they can no longer
put a LABEL on me. I'll be ostracized! I WON'T FIT IN!
Thank God that I have found myself and I'm not just
HUMAN! I AM A SPIRITUAL BEING, like God and made in His
image! I am no longer OF the world. I belong to the
Kingdom of God!
I cannot simply make excuses for what I do in my life

by claiming that I am ONLY HUMAN! The angels in heaven
sinned and followed after the prideful archangel Lucifer,
whom we now call the Prince of Lies. Weakness, faults,
pride and sin are not unique to human beings. Not ALL
angels are perfect! Still, we can't use the poor excuse of
being only human! God expects more of His children, which
include, the angels.
We are not of the world and as true Believers, we can

feel like a minority in any given situation where darkness
is trying to gain or maintain control. Like Jesus, we must
remember that, WE ARE NOT ALONE. God is with us. We are
members of the Body of Christ, connected with the Triune
God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. We are ONE.
Be yourself? To thine own self be true? TRUTH must be

within you, driving you and then, you can be no one other
than whom God created you to be.
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your servant and soldier, united with the One, all

praise and glory be to God
mishael
635
Episode 21
AUNTIE YONNY:
WHO WILL MOURN FOR CAESAR?
636

Episode 21
AUNTIE YONNY:
WHO WILL MOURN FOR CAESAR?
The coming week proved to be extremely busy and

challenging for Hal. He spent as much time as he possibly
could with Tanya, which seemed to give her the strength to
hold on longer. She didn't want to talk about Miriam
anymore. Her eyes always teared up and she became silent
whenever her name was mentioned.
She clung to Hal as if using him to fill that void left

by her niece. Hal understood and he didn't mind. It pained
him to see her reaction of sadness when he was called to
another meeting. Business matters never ended, thus, Hal
knew that there were an endless series of meetings ahead
of him. He could not help but wonder what else lied ahead.
His grandfather always said that God had good things in
store for His children who loved and obeyed Him. With some
guilt, he began to question if that applied to him.
Yes, there was meeting after meeting, in which Hal was

expected to absorb the basic functioning and status of
Miriam's various businesses. Walking into a room of all
white executives, he was consciously aware of his
difference and the lack of racial diversity throughout the
Barrett-Graves Empire. It was something that he could not
tolerate, but, for now, he would have to live with.
637
From the dead silence that occurred when he entered a

room, he could guess the impact of his becoming the owner
of the businesses some of them had spent most of their
lives helping to build. He couldn't help but wonder if he
had been the topic of discussion before he entered the
room and if part of that discussion was the color of his
skin. Would they respect him, he wondered? Would there be
plotting against him? Could any of them be responsible for
Arturo and Miriam's death and the attempt on Tanya's life?
The meetings were long and awkward. Anytime Hal

interrupted or asked a question, they would all stare at
him as if to say, "What makes you think you have any say
in this?"
Various business attorneys, whom he didn't know, had

been assigned to help with the transition and accompanied
him to each meeting. However, there was no escaping his
feeling that he had been transported into another body,
living the life of someone else. He was thankful for
Darla. There was some comfort in having Darla beside him
taking copious notes and helping to steer him in the right
direction whenever he didn't know what to do or say. At
least he knew someone and Darla appeared to be on his
side, willing to help in any way.
After the last meeting planned for the week, he felt

overwhelmed. This last meeting had been a tough one, where
he could clearly see that he had some opponents wanting to
edge him out of discussions and probably wanting to get
rid of him completely. He could see that he had numerous
battles ahead of him and right now, he had no idea how to
fight them, who was on his side, if anybody, and if he
would survive. Remembering that he would have to add to
all of this and go through the same routine when Tanya
passed away, left him panic stricken. He felt it all was
638
just too much for him to handle that day.
When he returned to the hospital, his emotions were

running high and got the best of him. He went directly to
Tanya's room, sat down and cried silent tears. Tanya
appeared to be asleep, but, the hearing that everyone
claimed was failing, seemed to hone in on Hal's suffering.
"Hal? Hal? What's wrong? Did something happen? Are you

alright?"
It took Hal a moment or two to pull himself together

and answer Tanya.
"Yeah...I'm okay."
"Did something happen?"
"No, I'm just upset."
"Why, Hal? What happened?"
Struggling for words to express what he was feeling

inside, Hal became increasingly frustrated.
"Au...Aunt Tanya...I...I...I want to know..."
He was feeling more like a victim instead of the newly

appointed heir to an empire. He was holding a lot of
feelings tightly within him. He felt that there was no one
who could possible understand what he was going through.
639
As a victim, someone was to blame and since Willard Graves

was dead, he had to take his frustrations out on someone
else whom he thought shared in the blame. Holding on to
his grudge against the Graves family, he began to make his
case.
"I want to know why your...why YOU did this to me?"
"Did this...? I don't understand, Hal? What did I do?

What is this all about?"
Trying to calm himself, he swallowed to clear his

throat, took a deep breath and wiped his nose.
"Why did you leave me and my family alone for all these
years, watching us struggle, then put me in this position,
where I feel like I don't belong?"
Tanya was silent for a while. Then, Hal saw tears begin
to seep from her eyes exposing the pain and turmoil she
had carried for so many years, for her actions and the
circumstances surrounding his family.
"Hal, you and your family had more than I could ever
have within my family. You had genuine, godly,
unconditional love; love free of doubt, unattached to
money and corruption. You had all that I ever wanted.
What we had wasn't worth having. It didn't make us

better people or a stronger and more loving family. Our
family was built upon hatred, greed and lies. We lied to
ourselves. We lied to one another and we lied to everybody
else. Not only did I not want you to be a part of that,
640
but, I couldn't protect you from it or from them.
I left you to be raised with love, respect and dignity.

Loving people like you should and learning to love God.
Yes, I knew about your family for some time, but, I

could have never given you what your family gave you. All
the money in the world can't buy that.
Now, I'm finally able to accept what I did. I see that

it was the right decision to make. I see who you are and
what you have become. Yes, staying away and not revealing
the existence of your family was something I struggled
with, but, it was the right thing to do. Now, maybe we
have a chance."
Tanya stopped and clenched her blankets trying not to

fall apart emotionally.
"What do you mean, now, maybe we have a chance?"
"Now, maybe my family has a chance to be what it should

be and do what is right in God's eyes."
Tanya's hands began to shake. Hal placed his hand on

top of hers and grasped them tightly to steady them.
"I understand why you did what you did, Aunt Tanya,
but, you can't make things happen the way that you want
them to happen. That's what your family has been guilty of
doing from the start. That's why they were so corrupt!
They used any means possible to turn things in their
favor, regardless of the consequences or harm to others.
641
Your family...your family...I guess I better start

owning up to the fact that it's my family, too.
I know that you considered the repercussions of putting

a Black man in charge of part of the Graves family
businesses and the impact it would have...but...but...Did
it cross your mind that...? Did you give any thought to
how it would affect ME and what I would have to go
through?
This week has been...it's been...it's been...nothing

but HELL for me. You should have seen the looks on the
faces of some of those people and...and...and the way they
TREATED ME. I haven't experienced that kind of blatant and
apparent racism in a long time.
Any other time...in most of my jobs...I'm confident. I

know I can do the job. I know who Hal Siegfried is. I know
that I deserve to be there, but..."
Tanya began to weep more profusely. Her eyes were

squeezed tightly shut as her lips quivered and her hands
trembled.
"I'm sorry, Aunt Tanya. I don't mean to upset you,

but...listen. I'm sorry. I've just had a really horrendous
week and I'm tired. I need to unwind and relax, but, I'm
afraid to."
Tanya placed her hand on top of Hal's and strained to

open her eyes.
642
"You are my hero. You saved my life. I have seen your

strength, your intelligence...your tenacity. NO! YOU, HAL,
SIEGFRIED ARE NOT AFRAID! Fear makes you weak! Everything
that I see within you proves that God has made you
strong...tough...compassionate and taught you not to fear,
because fear is not of God!
I know about your grandfather and your grandmother, my

niece. They were survivors and godly people. What God
allowed to happen, His mixing of our two family's genes
together was for a reason. Somehow, I always knew that and
that's why I couldn't let it go. Yes, there was irony in
it and some vengeance, but, God always has a plan.
Perhaps, I was part of the plan and that's why it was

so important to God for me to know about you and where you
were. Maybe He knew that I was going to do everything
within my power to make sure nothing happened to you and
your family. I'm sorry about your mother, but, from what I
understood, there was no way for her to survive the cancer
that had already spread throughout her body."
Hal took Tanya's hands into his and looked at her very
seriously.
"I understand, Aunt Tanya, but, my only chance of

surviving now is for you to tell me what we're up
against."
"We're up against the world, Hal. We're up against the

world.
There were many conceived and failed plots to

assassinate my father, but, only two of great
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significance; the one by the republicans, who conspired

with world leaders and the one by my brothers and my
husband."
Tanya turned her head away in shame.
"So, that explains the factions within the family.

Those plots were never uncovered or made public. Derek
Graves definitely doesn't want the world to know about me
or what his father did and uncovering allies who broke the
agreement not to assassinate leaders of nations could
upset world politics."
"It wasn't just allies such as state actors, Hal."
"Who else? Our enemies?"
"No, our most dangerous and vulnerable ally, the

Vatican."
After a moment, Hal realized that he was holding his

breath in disbelief. He inhaled deeply and thought about
the weight, depth and gravity of the situation Tanya had
just revealed to him. He couldn't believe what he was
hearing. The Vatican? The Pope? Surely, such a thing
couldn't be true.
There must have been something monumentally wrong going

on in the world for something like that to happen. Then,
he had to come to his senses and accept the facts.
Something monumentally wrong was happening in the world at
that time. President Graves was leading the nation into a
second civil war and the world into World War III,
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believing he and Putin would come out on top because of

the alliances they had made and the business opportunities
they had arranged behind closed doors.
"But, wait a minute, without proof, it's just

hearsay..."
"There is proof, Hal."
"Really, where? Who has it?"
"You do, Hal."
**********************************************************
“Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears”

By William Shakespeare
(from Julius Caesar, spoken by Marc Antony)
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;

I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus
Hath told you Caesar was ambitious:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Caesar answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest–For Brutus
645
is an honourable man;
So are they all, all honourable men–
Come I to speak in Caesar’s funeral.
He was my friend, faithful and just to me:
But Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable man.
He hath brought many captives home to Rome
Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill:
Did this in Caesar seem ambitious?
When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept:
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable man.
You all did see that on the Lupercal
I thrice presented him a kingly crown,
Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition?
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And, sure, he is an honourable man.
I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love him once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him?
O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar,
And I must pause till it come back to me.
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From the Transformed Heart of A Woman
Episode 22
AUNTIE YONNY:
SEMPER FIDELIS, ALWAYS FAITHFUL
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From the Transformed Heart of A Woman
Episode 22
AUNTIE YONNY:
SEMPER FIDELIS, ALWAYS FAITHFUL
If the week had ended with high emotions, the start of

the next week was not to be outdone by its predecessor.
The coroner had finally released the slain bodies of
Arturo and Miriam. Following Hal's instructions, Darla had
contacted Arturo's family in South America and arranged
for his aging parents, brothers and sisters and a host of
other relatives in Venezuela to be flown in to attend his
funeral. Special arrangements had to be made with the
proper authorities in Venezuela and the U.S. to
temporarily allow them into the country.
Granted that Darla was assuming added responsibilities

at Tanya's request, Hal asked her to assist him in hiring
his own staff, while extending the offer for her to
continue after Tanya's death, not only as a secretary,
but, as director of his affairs. Darla said that she would
think about it.
He received notice from Theodore Wellington that the

reading of Miriam's Will would take place the week after
the funeral. Hal didn't look forward to meeting the other
half of the family at the funeral and definitely didn't
want their eyes upon him at the reading of the will. There
were plans to keep his relationship to the family quiet,
until absolutely necessary. Not even, Darla, knew he was
Miriam's cousin and Tanya's great-nephew.
648
No longer trusting their services, Hal had immediately

dismissed the new agency Miriam had contracted to guard
her residence and who had secretly tailed him when he was
out and about. He wondered why Miriam had used a limousine
service when she owned limousines, so, he made a note to
hire a permanent driver.
He was still questioning what to do about Steve and

Jake who were still on duty at the hospital. He still
hadn't talked to them about the night of the murders.
Lieutenant Hamilton assured him that they had credible
alibis, but, he still wanted to hear what they had to say
before allowing them to stay on after Tanya's death.
Perhaps, they may not want to stay on, he thought,

since they didn't particularly seem to care for him at
all. And, if he questioned their loyalty, they may decide
to move on. Nevertheless, he decided to arrange a meeting
with the two men when they arrived the next morning, so,
he had Darla give them a memo to inform them of the
meeting.
Hal had been making his phone calls back home to his
father at least twice a week. He'd told his father that he
had left The Daily for a better opportunity. The two of
them had always been close and Hal never hesitated telling
his father about personal things in his life or asking for
advice. But, what he was experiencing now and the
information he had found out about their family needed to
be delivered in person.
There was always a tinge of guilt in his voice when he

talked to his father on the phone. His father knew him so
well that he would always ask, "Is there something wrong,
649
Hal?" He knew he couldn't hold out much longer and worry

his father into another heart attack. He was going to
either have to find time to go home or bring his father
there. He preferred to go home and break the news gently
that he was a Graves and the two of them were heirs to the
Graves' multi-billion dollar empire.
He also knew that it would be difficult explaining why

he was contacted instead of his father. Tanya said that
they had been waiting for the right time and the right
Graves to take over.
Their latest plans of course directly involved Hal and

his skills as a journalist. However, they knew about his
father's heart condition and took that as a liability and
risk in allowing him to take on such an arduous task as
running multiple businesses that required frequent
traveling and long grueling work hours. Also, with his
education and experience, they felt Hal was more suited
for the job. Leaving the money to the younger man would
avoid all the bureaucracy and inheritance taxes that would
be encountered when Hal's father died. Having heard about
their close relationship, they knew that Hal would
undoubtedly take care of his father and freely share the
wealth.
The next morning, while waiting for Steve and Jake to

arrive, Hal was met with the inevitable. He was out of
time. His father had just texted him, telling him he would
be stopping to see him for a couple of days, since he
would be passing through on his way to visit friends in
Charlottesville, Virginia.
His mind began to race. His father would expect to

visit his job. He would expect him to be living in his
apartment. Knowing his father, he would insist on staying
650
at the hospital with him. Should he tell his father

everything before he gets here? Should he warn him about
possible danger to his life? Should he take him to meet
Tanya right away? The questions kept coming. It was a
relief when Steve and Jake showed up and distracted him
from the unresolved dilemma.
It seemed that Darla had informed them of his new

position and they appeared to accept it. To his surprise,
they entered the room with greetings.
Jake opened with a strongly voiced,"Good morning, Mr.

Siegfried."
Steve followed with a polite, "Good morning, sir."
"Good morning, Steve...Jake. Thanks for coming so

early. I won't keep you too long. I just have a few things
to discuss with you."
Jake was the first to reply.
"Sir, we are so sorry about what happened. If we had

been on duty, it wouldn't have happened. We've been
trained to foil those types of attacks. We had a lot of
respect for Mrs. Barrett and Arturo was a good guy, one of
the best."
Jake paused, clearly distraught from thinking about the

murders. Steve patted him strongly on the shoulder to
comfort him and continued for his friend.
"Mr. Siegfried, this has strongly affected both of us.
651
That night we had gone to a ballgame, then, went out for

some drinks with some buddies. The rest of the night, we
were sleeping off the beers. We didn't know what had
happened until we arrived in the morning. Man...why did it
have to happen to Arturo? We were planning on bringing him
in on our plans."
"Your plans? You had plans for Arturo and Mrs.

Barrett?"
"No, no, NO sir! With all due respect, I hope you don't
think we had anything to do with what happened! No, sir!
We saw Mrs. Barrett as a fair employer and a good woman.
We wouldn't have done anything to harm her or place her in
danger. We should have split up our shift, but, we've
always worked together. Somehow, we feel responsible."
"There is no way you guys can be sure that things would

have turned out differently and I'm not accusing you of
anything. I'm just trying to put the pieces together to
find out what happened."
"Just to make it clear, sir, we weren't involved in

anyway. Our plans pertain to what we're going to do when
we leave this job.
We've been thinking about starting our own security

company with some pals from the Marines. We wanted to help
Arturo out by including him."
Hal sat down and began to think. The two men looked at
one another questioningly, then, took a seat, also. After,
about a minute, Hal spoke.
652
"Okay, how about you let me buy a piece of your

business? Whatever percentage you'll allow me or whatever
it takes for you to get started. I have a building with a
nice office you can work out of. Take what space you need.
The more offices occupied, the safer the building will be.
You can put in the security equipment for the building,

hire the guys to protect the building, my home, the
hospital for now and full-time body guards for me and my
family. I'll pay you for your services and only charge a
small rental fee in case you want to move out into your
own building one day.
You can buy me out of the business whenever you're

ready. No interest rate for the loan as long as you stay
under contract and meet the needs agreed upon. We can put
it in writing."
Jake and Steve looked at one another then rose to

leave. Hal thought that they were offended by his offer,
but, then, Jake looked back at him.
"Excuse us, sir. We've got to make some calls. We'll be

right back."
Hal could hear the two men on their phones, very

excited and trying to sell his idea to the person or
persons on the other end. Hal used the time to look over
his upcoming agenda for the day. He could tell that Jake
and Steve were having trouble convincing one of the
parties on the phone to agree with the deal. After fifteen
minutes or more, they hung up and returned. Again, Jake
acted as the official spokesman.
653
"Sir we have four other men and a silent partner we

were going to bring into the business. All of them are our
buddies, good, honest, trustworthy, dependable men.
"That's a lot of partners. Are you sure this can work?"
Steve couldn't have been more adamant in his reply.
"We had each other's back during every mission we went

on. I trust these men with my life. It will work, sir."
"May I ask who the silent partner is?"
Again, the men looked to one another to read the

other's thoughts. With some reluctance, Jake answered.
"We lost a friend on our last mission. A good marine,

husband and father. We convinced his wife to take his
share of the company."
Steve was the first to stand up straight and stick out

his hand to shake. Jake followed. Hal felt as if he was
being saluted.
"Thank you, sir."
"Thank you, sir."
Hal shook their hands and decided to have a little fun.
654
"Before we finalize this deal, I'd like you to agree to

something."
The two men spoke in unison as if he'd given a command.
"Yes, sir."
"Stop calling me sir, smile, and go to a game with me

to celebrate. I'll have a buddy of mine at The Daily get
us tickets and passes to the locker room. How about it!"
"Yes..."
"Hal! Call me Hal!"
Steve and Jake started to laugh and kept a smile on

their faces. Spokesman, Jake, took a rigid step forward to
speak, as if he had been standing in line at attention.
"We want to apologize, Hal. When you first came here as

a reporter, we thought you were up to no good. You know
like, some reporters who only want to dig up dirt on the
Graves Family and make a name for themselves. But, we know
better now. We know that you're no wimp, either. I mean,
what you did for Mrs. Yanovich and Zenobia was real brave.
You're a real stand up guy."
Steve, somewhat uncomfortable with his emotions, shied

away as he offered support.
655
"Yeah, Hal. We see how you care about Mrs. Yanovich and
all that you've done to keep her safe. We just want you to
know that we've got your back. We've got guys who are
loyal to us because we've been through hell and high water
together and don't worry, we all will be loyal to you. We
understand trust, loyalty, and honor. You can count on
us."
Hal smiled to himself, relieved, as he realized that he

had finally broken down the barrier.
"Thank you, guys. You don't know how much that means to
me right now."
There was an awkward pause as the men stood facing one

another. Hal needed a hug, but, he knew that wouldn't go
over too well with the big, macho Marines. Hal shattered
the silence with a boisterous laugh.
"HEY! We're in business together. Who would have

thought?! OH! Did I mention that I need people ASAP? Like
today? I just found out my father is coming in to town. I
need a driver, body guards and security guards."
"We'll make it happen, sir, I mean, Hal. Give us an

hour or two. We've got the perfect guy in mind for your
driver, a wounded veteran."
The two men did some kind of bonding ritual that ended
with head butting and yelling simultaneously...
"SEMPER FI!" "Ooh-rah!"
656
Hal remembered his grandfather always saying, during

especially hard times, "God is always faithful." A
calmness came over him as he knew everything was going to
be alright. God had made a way when he didn't see a way.
As he watched the two men happily going down the

hallway, he couldn't even imagine what they had been
through and seen in war. He admired how they took care of
one another and looked out for the families of their
fallen brothers. Then, he began to see how God was using
him to do the same thing for others. Steve, Jake, Arturo,
Tanya, Miriam; God was using him to make a way, while
helping him to see the way. He began to see God's Hand in
all that had happened to him throughout his life and
now...
A new found love for God swelled up inside of him until

he thought he would burst. He found himself speaking
aloud, directly to this Awesome Wonder watching over
mankind.
"Thank you God. You are Semper Fidelis, always

faithful."
657
From The Transformed Heart Of A Woman)
Episode 23
Part 1
AUNTIE YONNY: Murphy's Law,

Murphy's Law (1942)
If anything can go wrong, it will.
658

Episode 23
Part 1
AUNTIE YONNY: Murphy's Law,
Murphy's Law (1942)

• The basic laws of physics fall into two

categories: classical physics that deals with
the observable world (classical mechanics), and
atomic physics that deals with the interactions
between elementary and sub atomic particles
(quantum mechanics).
• A physical law or scientific law is a

theoretical statement "inferred from particular
facts, applicable to a defined group or class of
phenomena, and expressible by the statement that
a particular phenomenon always occurs if certain
conditions be present."
NOTE TO THE PROUD AND ARROGANT: God is not bound by

the laws of nature and science. God can change or
remove conditions or defy physical or scientific law
and altar the outcome.
*******************************************************
It was the day Hal's father was due to arrive. He kept
659
reminding himself to stay calm and cool. He hadn't yet

accepted the idea that this had to happen and was going to
happen...now.
After a series of text messages, his father agreed to

meet for lunch first, when he arrived, at a fancy
restaurant, which Hal said was near his job. He omitted
the fact that his job was currently at the penthouse in
the hospital down the street, watching over his aunt.
Hal asked the waiter for a table near a window looking

out on the busy street, so, he could keep an eye out for
his father. He sat staring out of the window, nervously
tapping the copy of the file that had been shown to him in
Mr. Wellington's office as proof of his ancestry and right
to his inheritance from the Graves Family. He was glad he
was so close to the hospital, just, in case the shock was
too much for his father's heart to bear.
He had informed the waiter that he was waiting for

another party and given him a brief description of his
father. While he was looking out of the window, tapping
out a percussionist accompaniment to the music that was
playing throughout the restaurant, he felt a hand grab his
shoulder from behind. Startled, and on edge, he jumped and
turned around, then looked up into the smiling face of his
father.
Having not seen him for awhile, Hal noticed the subtle
changes in his face and his posture. The salt and pepper
hair color which had for so long covered his head in
beautiful tight curls had changed to just salt, framing
his caramel colored skin. There were more wrinkles merging
together and he stood with a slight slumping over from his
shoulders. At first sight, his appearance was somewhat
frightening for Hal, in that it forewarned of man's
660
mortality. It reminded Hal that even his father would

someday be gone from his life. He rose and grabbed his
father, hugging him as tight as he could, fearing that if
he let go, he would no longer be there.
"Whoa there, tiger! I'm not as strong as I used to be!

You're going to squeeze the life out of me! I won't have
any strength to eat...well, hopefully that will never
happen, again. You know how I like to eat."
Hal loosened his grip. He felt like a little boy wanting

to climb up into his father's lap, never wanting the
moment to end. He sat down and hoped his father wouldn't
notice his teary eyes.
"It's just so good seeing you, dad! A surprise, but, a

good one. I missed you."
"I missed you too, son."
"Now, why are we eating at this overpriced restaurant? Is

the food any good and are they paying you enough to afford
all this, because, I don't have to have all this, if it's
going to cause you to be broke the rest of the month. We
can leave and..."
"Dad...Dad! It's alright! Just sit down and relax! I've

got this! Come on...you're making a scene."
"Oh! You're so highfalutin now, you're ashamed of your old

man? Well, I'll show you a SCENE!"
"Dad...Dad! NO! I'm just kidding! You know I could

never be ashamed of you! Let's just order some food. We've
got a lot to talk about. What's that you're carrying? You
661
didn't have to bring me anything..."
"I didn't bring you nothing! This is for me! I'm old
and weak. You're supposed to take care of me, now."
"Dad, you're not old and weak. Look at you. You're

still getting around okay."
"Okay? Humph! You don't have to live in this body and

try to move it around. But, I did bring something I want
you to take a look at."
David Siegfried, Jr. took out an old journal with tattered

corners and placed it on the table, but, before Hal could
grab it, the waiter approached the table. Knowing his
father's taste, Hal ordered the Repas du jour, the meal of
the day.
"I'm impressed, Hal, but, that food better be good or I'm

going to have your behind. You're not too big to whoop,
you know."
"I ordered your favorite, Dad. I know what you like. If

you don't like it, I'll get something else for you."
"Where are you getting all of this money, son? Since when
do you just waste food? We taught you never to waste food
or your money. If the food is nasty, we can take it home
in a baggy. I can stop at a fast food drive through."
Hal smiled and tried not to laugh. Although, his father

always made him laugh, he knew better than to laugh at him
when he was being serious.
662
"Okay! We won't waste the food, but, I guarantee you'll

like it. Now, what's this? It's dated August 20, 2017.
What happened that month in history?"
"Charlottesville, Virginia, Unite the Right

demonstration and murders and Graves showing his true
colors as a racist and a bigot. The president of the
United States emboldening and empowering the Ku Klux Klan,
Alt-Right, White supremacy and other hate groups to wreak
havoc on the Left, Democrats, minorities, Christians,
Muslims, and Jews. He and that no good Devon Monroe
planned to tear the country up and they didn't care how
many people got killed, especially not my mother.
Those Graves are still a prejudice lot of people. You

know that one of them has the nerve to run for president
after what his great-grandfather did? I hope he doesn't
try to start up that race stuff again. I'm old, but, I'll
get out there and protest. Yes siree!"
Hal's father clenched his fist and pounded the table.

Hal moved the folder under the journal, not sure if this
was the right time or the right place to reveal its
contents.
"Dad, let's not talk about this now, okay?"
"What?! You don't want me talking about race here in

this fancy place? I'm not prejudice, my daddy was white!
And, I'm not holding any grudges, but, I'm going to talk
about what's wrong and what's right! That Graves Family
just ain't RIGHT and that's all that's to it."
"I don't like seeing you upset, Dad. I worry about your
663
heart."
"Okay, son, I'm not upset, but, I didn't come here to

depress you or worry you. But, take a look at this. It's
one of the volumes from your grandfather's sermon
journals. There are boxes of them. I was looking through
them trying to decide what to do with them and I decided
to bring some along for spiritual guidance...a-a-and I
thought that maybe...just maybe, you might want to look at
them.
Matter of fact, they are an excellent historical

reference. Your grandfather often based his sermons on
what people were currently experiencing in their lives and
in the world, in order to help guide them, as a shepherd
should. I thought...I thought you could use them in your
writing. If dad were here, I know he'd say he wanted you
to have them.
Hal took the journal and started leafing through it, then,
began reading to himself. The waiter came with coffee and
appetizers and his father began helping himself, savoring
the food with each bite. Hal was pleased he was enjoying
himself.
Pastor David Siegfried, Sr. August 20, 2017
Those who are truly arrogant and prideful lack the

ability to comprehend God's moral laws, or the laws of
nature, science and physics. They live in a constant state
of ignorance and moral torment that can only be described
as hell. It is the equivalent of being on fire and being
so oblivious to your actual state of being, that you
continue to go on acting and believing that you will live
forever. When the world alerts you to your peril, you deny
that there is anything wrong with you and the problem lies
664
in their blindness and ignorance, not yours.
Small minded people, to their own choosing, have been

stunted in growth. Thus, they feel the need to hide behind
a particular ideology that magnifies their small minds to
make them appear larger, smarter, and more powerful than
what they really are.
They are living out the lies that Satan has fed to
them. They become part of the scraps under the devil's
table that he has fed upon. They are fed a false illusion
that they can create, when Satan knows they can only be
like him and destroy.
Therefore, everything or everyone they effect become

tainted, corrupted, put into bondage, ruined or destroyed.
They spend their whole lives in vain, like their master
trying to create a new world order because they are
incapable of fitting into the real world or stepping
outside of their bondage of darkness and facing the Light
of Truth and reality.
**********************************************************
Then, Hal's cellphone rang. It was one of his attorneys

wanting to discuss a business matter. Hal knew he couldn't
take it at the table. He hadn't informed his father about
being a Graves, yet. He excused himself and took the call
in the lobby.
When he returned, he saw his father slumped over the

table, with his head buried in his arms. Fearing the
worst, Hal dashed to the table.
665
"DAD! DAD! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!"
People began to get up from their tables to assist him.

The waiter and maître d' came running and were about to
call 911. They kept asking if it was the food or if he was
choking.
David Siegfried lifted his head, tears streaming down

his face and looked at his son. Hal saw the folder lying
open beneath his arms. Clearly he had seen and read enough
to know. Hal wanted to kick himself. Why didn't he think
to take the folder?
"Why didn't you tell me, son? Why didn't you tell me?"
His father sat there crying miserably. His body limp,

having surrendered to the pain that writhed inside him.
All Hal could say was...
"I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sorry."
He gathered the folder before anyone else saw its

contents. He knew they had to get out of there. He
definitely couldn't discuss this with his father, now that
everyone's eyes and ears were upon them. Yet, at that
moment, he was more worried about his father's health than
anything else.
He assured everyone that his father would be alright

and that he was taking him to get medical care
immediately. He threw a large amount of money on the
table, which his father eyed in disbelief, then, looked at
his son, wrinkled up his face, and returned to sobbing
miserably.
666
"Zenobia,'"Hal thought. "I'll take him to Zenobia."
He called for his limousine and driver and told him he

needed help getting his father out to the car. David
Siegfried was a tall and big man. Seeing that his father
was of medium height and stature, he must have taken after
Willard Graves. The chauffeur came in and between the two
of them, they managed to maneuver Hal's father into the
limo.
Hal called Zenobia and asked if there was any way that
she could meet him at the private entrance to administer
medical care to his father. Zenobia said she would post
one of her assistants with Tanya and promised that she
would be downstairs to meet him.
When they arrived, Zenobia and an attendant were

waiting with a wheel chair. She immediately began checking
David Siegfried's vital signs.
They placed Hal's father in a room opposite his Aunt

Tanya. Zenobia stabilized him and called Tanya's doctor to
come and treat his condition. His medical records were
transferred immediately to the hospital. David Graves-
Siegfried was in good hands and among family.
667
Episode 23
Part 2
AUNTIE YONNY: Murphy's Law

Murphy's Law (1942)
668

Episode 23
Part 2
AUNTIE YONNY: Murphy's Law
Murphy's Law (1942)
• The basic laws of physics fall into two categories:

classical physics that deals with the observable world
(classical mechanics), and atomic physics that deals
with the interactions between elementary and sub
atomic particles (quantum mechanics).
• A physical law or scientific law is a theoretical
statement "inferred from particular facts, applicable
to a defined group or class of phenomena, and
expressible by the statement that a particular
phenomenon always occurs if certain conditions be
present."
GOD'S LAW: God is not bound by the laws of nature and

science. God can change or remove conditions or defy
physical or scientific law and altar the outcome. WORD
**********************************************************
With his father's health on his mind, Hal forwarded all

of his calls to Darla for the afternoon and told her to
tell everyone that he was unavailable. The doctor arrived
669
and spent a great deal of time ordering tests for his

father and studying them. Hal wanted to talk to him, but,
Zenobia told him to be patient.
There was no hiding anything from Tanya Yanovich. Hal

had learned about her grapevine and her instincts. As long
as she was still alive, she didn't intend to be left out
of anything. She sent for Hal as soon as she found out
that his father had been admitted to the hospital.
Hal didn't want to have two crises on his hands, so, he

made his way to Tanya's room, posthaste.
"Hal?"
"Yes, Aunt Tanya, it's me."
"How is your father?"
"H-He's fair. The doctor is still evaluating his tests.

Zenobia stabilized him and probably saved his life."
"Zenobia is an excellent nurse practitioner. She should

have been a doctor, but, she says she enjoys working
closely with patients as their caretaker. At the age of
nine, when her mother became ill, she had no choice but to
become the caretaker of her mother and five siblings. She
continues to help her brothers and sisters. She is a very
strong, loving, and capable individual. Your father
couldn't have been in better hands."
"I know."
670
"Try not to worry, Hal."
"I-I couldn't tell him. I was afraid of what would

happen. I was ashamed of who I was becoming. I took him to
an expensive restaurant. Then...
I was ashamed and guilt ridden for having accepted the

money. He...He brought my grandfather's sermon
journals...and...and when I read some of it...explaining
the reasoning behind Charlottesville..."
"Charlottesville, Hal?"
"Yes, it was a journal dated August 20, 2017, after the

first Unite the Right incident. My dad is...was on his way
there to visit friends."
"That was a terrible time. I was so ashamed of my

father. It is a horrible, ugly feeling inside to be
ashamed of your own father. It affects how you feel about
yourself."
"Yes, I know."
"Are you ashamed of your father, Hal?"
"NO...yes. I was today. He kept talking about how the

Graves Family were racist and how Willard Graves and Devon
Monroe tried to destroy the country. He was right. We all
know that, but...I mean...he didn't have to say it all out
in the open like that in the restaurant."
671
"That's what we do, right, Hal? We don't talk about

that race stuff out in the open. Good manners. Politically
correct. We've got to keep that kind of talk behind closed
doors."
"Okay, I get what you're trying to say, Aunt Tanya.

When you assign shame and guilt to race, you become part
of the problem and filled with shame and guilt."
Hal was beside himself, still filled with guilt and

remorse.
"There are things that we need to talk about out in the

open, Hal, so that evil can't attach shame and guilt to
them. So the enemy can't coat them with lies and hatred to
use them against us. Go to your father and talk openly
with him about what happened in this family. Tell him how
you feel. Tell him what you've been doing and why you
couldn't talk to him about it. Tell him what the two of
you can do together now to make the world a better place.
I know that you feel responsible for his pain and

condition right now and the last thing you wanted to do
was to hurt him. But, he needs you more than ever, right
now. Life is short, even when you try to prolong it. Show
your father how much you love him by helping him to heal,
physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
Charlottesville? Oh, my, tragedy isn't the word for

what happened and for what my father said and did
afterward. What did your grandfather say? Please read me
some of it."
672
Hal went and got the journal and sat close to Tanya's
bed reading the paragraphs he had read in the restaurant.
"He's talking about my father and the queen Monroe.

That describes their character. My father and Devon Monroe
were like a child wanting their own way and ready to
topple the whole world to try and get it. They were people
so detached from humanity and God, that they saw
themselves as gods; gods of only one race, believing their
right to supremacy.
Monroe believed he was a master strategist able to

outsmart the One True God, when he, himself had been
outsmarted by Satan, whom God sent His human Son to defeat
on earth, after God had already defeated and cast him out
of Heaven. No the self-made queen wasn't smart at all or a
master strategist. He was on the wrong side from the
beginning, which had already lost. He wasn't smart enough
to know that man can never be smarter than his Creator.
People like them are without wisdom; people who have been
blinded from seeing that intelligence, wisdom and power
comes from Yahweh.
Monroe's words had no real power, but, were tools of

Satan placed upon his tongue to destroy. For those who
speak TRUTH, the power of God is released from Heaven to
increase the Kingdom!"
"You don't sound like a Jew, Aunt Tanya."
"I was a Christian first, then, an Orthodox Jew, now,

thanks to Zenobia, I am a Messianic Jew, praise God!
Zenobia has been with me for many years and during those
years, she has opened my eyes and awakened me to The
Truth, The Way, and The Light! I still have a long way to
673
go as a Believer, but, I know that my Father knows my

heart. Oh, well...
No, Monroe was not smart at all. He couldn't see that

God created ALL men in His image and equal. He loves us
all and protects the righteous."
"You don't talk about Devon Monroe, often. Why is that

Aunt Tanya, when he played such a huge part in the fate of
the administration and the nation?"
"Well, I'm sure he didn't play the part that he wanted

to play."
Tanya attempted to laugh, but, began to cough and had

to quiet herself and steady her breathing.
"No, Hal, I don't speak of Monroe, the queen, very

much. Who was Devon Monroe? He was a simple equation:
Tunnel vision caused by pride and arrogance equals failure
equals The Queen, Devin Monroe. He was detestable and I
was glad when he left the White House!
Yes...definitely...I see him as a small child not

unlike my father. Two little boys cowardly huddling in the
corner of their small and narrow minds, afraid of the
world, closing their eyes and make-believing they are
strong and powerful, wise and loved by all.
While they were so busy being proud, arrogant and full

of themselves, they failed to see THE PLAN of THE MASTER."
"And, what was that?" asked Hal.
674
"The Purging and Weeding-Out of those fallen to the Moral

Decay in America. My father was Monroe, Putin, and Satan's
tool, but, they all were being used by God.
And, how did God implement His plan? He took a magnifying

glass and magnified the problem, exposing us all.
Then, He kept the magnifying glass there upon us, allowing

the Son, The Truth, The Way and The Light to beam down
through it, heat it it up, starting to burn it until it
began to smoke and people paid attention trying to find
the fire. Then, those people enjoying being magnified,
began to stink, not knowing they were on fire. They denied
it was them. But, the Truth turned up the heat and our
lies couldn't save us because we were engulfed in flames.
We couldn't, (not even Devon Monroe)...We couldn't blame
it on someone else or laugh it off, saying that we could
beat it because we're so smart.
Monroe wanted to keep people talking about race to beat

the Democrats. He thought he could use the media and them
to do his dirty-work, then laugh and say, "that's what I
like to hear!" No, this time the joke was on him and Satan
had the last laugh.
No, Monroe wasn't smart enough. He chose the wrong words

which had no power. Then, the Word of God, like Moses'
snake swallowed them up.
675
Chapter 22
MOVING BEYOND PRIDE
Psalm 27:8(KJV)
When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart

said unto thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek.
676
As soon as we attach ourselves to things we feel we

need to have or desire, we become entangled in pride,
distracted and soon torn away from God. A battle wages in
our mind for our attention. The flesh wants to win out
because we are able to think of all the things we can do
with our possessions in the flesh (self). You forget that
you're a spiritual being and one day you will have to
leave these things behind. You think of them as yours or
dream of something becoming yours. Perhaps, many people
have told you or you believe that a sign of being blessed
and highly favored is material wealth, looking good, and
having good health. Your pride tells you that you must
prove that you are one of these "highly blessed and
favored people, too, and before you know it, you're
looking the part. Still, the question comes down to, "Are
you seeking God's Face?"
We live in a sick land land today, plagued with all

types of madness, hatred, and chaos. God said:
2 Chronicles 7:14 (KJV)

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble
themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from
their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will
forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
This is a verse which I repeatedly include within these

writings, because, everything YOU do affects those around
you. "My people" begins with YOU. YOU effect the
atmosphere around you. Your pride is not just a YOU
problem. It is a spiritual communicable disease which
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spreads from person to person, people to people, nation to

nation. Therefore, we must examine ourselves and submit to
the Will and Way of God.
So, how do you put these things around you in the world
into perspective? How do you prioritize? How do you keep
from idolizing them and yourself?
You assign them a place in your life. You put them to

work for you, God, and the Kingdom, even being willing to
give them up, if God requires it of you, as He did when He
asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. Surely, we cannot equate
things with the life of a child, but, think of it as if
your life, your abundant and eternal life is on the line,
for that is exactly what is at risk if you put material
things and yourself before your love for God.
Can you assign your possessions and desires a place in

your life as Abraham did Isaac in order to please God
first? Can you part with them so that you and others
beyond your foreseeable future will live life abundantly
with God?
We are right to care about our appearance and to want

to live comfortably and prosperous as God has allowed us
to live within our abundant life, but, when is enough,
"enough"? Is enough the same amount for you as it is for
me? We must be aware of the point in which "enough" draws
us away from God and into "self"; when "enough" causes us
to obsess over our body,our possessions, and desires; and
when we are no longer just "in" the world, but, falling to
become "of" the world.
How do we assign these things in our life? The same way

that we assign or give our lives to God. We recognize that
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all that we have came from God and belongs to God. Does
this mean that we can keep buying things so that we can
say that they're for God? Do we obsess about our looks
because we want to look better for God? Are we being
truthful?
Remember, we are spiritual beings and God communicates

with our spirit (heart), not our flesh and earthly bodies,
which are only dust. What we put upon our back is to cover
our bodies, which house a spirit. What we surround
ourselves with in our environment is only to bring
temporary comfort and joy while we occupy these bodies.
But, do "things" really bring us comfort and joy? If that
is the case than many people should be overjoyed from
having many things. Yes, my blanket keeps me warm, but, if
what lies beneath it is a cold heart, am I really
comfortable or am I living a lie?
If the things around me are to bring me comfort and

joy, I must see them in another light. Their meaning must
derive from another place other than a department store, a
commercial, or a celebrity. Their meaning must extend
beyond envy, desire, aesthetic beauty, hard work,
entitlement, and status. Do these things help me or hinder
me in being humble and fruitful? If they hinder me, then,
why?
God told us to be "Holy." We must understand what makes

us "Holy." God alone is Holy. Therefore, if God be within
us, then, that which surrounds us must be "worthy" of His
Holiness. The reasoning behind having our possessions must
fall within the Will and Way of God. Our reasoning must be
without selfishness, greed, vanity, immorality and
injustice. Thus, it follows the mind of Christ, The Lamb
of God, who is without spot or blemish, a worthy offering
unto our God. We must follow Jesus and do as we see our
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Father do. If I belong to God, will He find me a worthy

vessel, abiding within Jesus?
There are days that seem to fly by so fast that I

question my productivity, asking myself, "What have I
actually accomplished today?" Then, one day, the Holy
Spirit spurred me to look at the day differently and ask
myself, "Have I stayed within the will of God today? Have
I done my best to stand in holiness and righteousness to
lift up the name of Jesus and glorify God and His
Kingdom?" Then, if I have done these things, I have aided
Earth and Heaven and these hours of my being on Earth have
been all the better for it.
When making decisions, we don't always stop to ask

ourselves, "Am I being fruitful, humble, loving and
glorifying God? Am I truly born again, covered in Jesus'
precious blood? Did Jesus die that I would squander my
inheritance or use it only to please and glorify myself?
Will these things I own or desire be a distraction from
God and following Jesus? Do they follow after the mind of
Christ, or, am I following after the mind of the world?"
Everything we do must be done in love for the glory of

God; in love of who? --God, but also for one another,
whereby, we glorify God. Our actions must reflect the
character of God manifested in love and consideration for
the needs of others. So once again, how do I assign my
desires, intentions and actions? I must honestly ask
myself, "How do my actions show love for God and glorify
God? Am I considering the needs of others? How do my
actions show love for God's Children, His Kingdom and
Glorify His Kingdom?
Then, if I am at odds with my choices, I must reconcile

my thoughts and behaviors and reassign my actions to
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better and higher purposes. I must HUNGER for holiness.
We all have some area in our lives where we tell

ourselves we deserve this or that, whether it be a
material possession, a relationship, circumstances or a
particular situation. We believe we deserve to be treated
with love and respect. We believe that we have worked hard
for our money and we deserve to spend some on ourselves.
We want to keep up with the Joneses or with new
technology. We want what we see being advertised on
television, but when is enough, "enough"?
Are we loving and respecting ourselves? Are we willing

to fall into sin for what we feel we deserve? Was this not
the first sin man committed? Have we not learned from Adam
and Eve's mistake? How far are we willing to go to get
what we want? How many rules, laws, or principles will we
break?
Is that which we desire in agreement with what God

desires for us to have at that time? Have we even bothered
to ask Him? Do we put the blame on Him or say that God has
"blessed" us? Are we sure about that or did we take
matters into our own hands and "bless" ourselves? Then,
this should help us to understand why we're not growing
and maturing and just staying our same old selves.
Maturity comes with sacrifice, patience, waiting on the

Lord, faith, love, and obedience to God, and all of the
other Fruits of His Holy Spirit. How do we assign our
feelings, desires, intentions and actions? We must weigh
how we are being FRUITFUL in our actions.
Yes, I can have what I desire, if I am being 'fruitful'

in my actions and within the Will and Way of God; for all
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children of God, attached to The Vine, immersed in His

Holy Spirit bear Good Fruit! However, if my pride leads my
desires and I bypass God, I produce bitter fruit.
Pride is like a weed that grows next to a thriving

plant to choke its roots and kill it. Pride cannot be the
leader in abundant life. It will stunt the growth of all
around it. It would be like a weed soaking up the moisture
and nutrients within the soil, condemning the other plants
to death. So are we cast into iniquity and death, when the
adversary cast a shadow over us blocking The Light and the
Water of Life.
Moving beyond pride takes humility. We must be able to

look into the mirror and see Jesus-- not self and vanity.
If we mimic the world, we will never look good enough or
have enough, becoming like weeds, strangling everything
around us, believing we are blessed and highly favored;
believing God just wants to shower us with blessings
because we are so good and faithful. "Entitlement", it is
the disease that has stricken most Believers and which
plagues the world.
Children, it is time to come out of the wilderness and

forget the ways of ancient Egypt. We are Children of God,
having no other god and putting nothing and no one above
God, especially not ourselves. How long does one have to
wander in the desert before they are purged of pride and
corruption? We are lost and don't know where we are going
without Jesus. We continue wandering without Jesus. We are
dry and thirsty without Jesus. We are forever hungry,
starving for love and abundant life without Jesus.
But....with Jesus, it is possible to move on, even if we
fall or lose our way. Jesus will lead us back to God.
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However, first we must recognize what pride is doing in

our lives. Then, moving on becomes a journey where we must
remain humble and surrender to be purged. Don't expect to
arrive right away. Don't keep asking, "Are we there, yet?"
God knows how long it will take. That's why He has given
us JESUS! DON'T YOU SEE? You can't do it by YOURSELF! REST
AND ABIDE IN JESUS! He will keep you from sin. Follow the
Mind and Heart of Christ that teaches us to put all of our
faith and trust in God. God delivers us in due time,
increasing our faith through Jesus, the Author and
Finisher of our faith.
God knows of our needs and desires, but, do not be

anxious and complain, then return to bondage believing you
were better off. If you take matters into your own hands
to "bless" yourself, there are always consequences. Don't
take on a false sense of confidence, believing that just
because you have acknowledged your weakness, you are
delivered. Darkness lies waiting to snatch away your very
life by preventing you from being fruitful and connected
to The Vine. And as we have been told by God, those
branches which do not produce "good" fruit are only good
as kindle to be tossed into the fire.
Psalm 27:14(KJV)
Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall
strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.
Then, how do I bless my children, my family, church and

others within the Will of God? We must take time to assess
if we are being fruitful and applying the Fruits of God's
Holy Spirit. Are we giving in love, willingly to Glorify
God and to increase the Kingdom? How will our gift(s)
effect the holiness of others? Do we look past corruption
in order to fulfill fleeting pleasure? Are we distracting
others from Jesus? God? The Kingdom? Are we more
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concerned, distracted and mesmerized by the things of the

world, wanting to please others before we please God, and
bringing glory to ourselves?
To move on we must find the golden idols the adversary

is holding up in front of us kindling our pride. Then, we
go through a process somewhat like a photographer who
switches camera lenses to see in a different light or
perspective.
As we move on, God is prompting us to look through His

eyes to see true images of things, people, and situations
that are only distractions. He awakens us to understand
Truth. The answer to pride is The Truth, The Way and The
Life. He, The Word of God, has already conquered pride. He
can lead us to the face of God which we seek. He is the
water to quench all thirst, filling us with holiness and
bringing forth "good" fruit.
mishael
**********************************************************
Psalm 27(KJV)
1 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom

shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my
life; of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When the wicked, even mine enemies and my

foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they
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stumbled and fell.
3 Though an host should encamp against me, my

heart shall not fear: though war should rise
against me, in this will I be confident.
4 One thing have I desired of the Lord, that

will I seek after; that I may dwell in the
house of the Lord all the days of my life, to
behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire
in his temple.
5 For in the time of trouble he shall hide me

in his pavilion: in the secret of his
tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up
upon a rock.
6 And now shall mine head be lifted up above

mine enemies round about me: therefore will I
offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I
will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the
Lord.
7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have

mercy also upon me, and answer me.
8 When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart

said unto thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek.
9 Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy
servant away in anger: thou hast been my help;
leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my
salvation.
10 When my father and my mother forsake me,

then the Lord will take me up.
11 Teach me thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a

plain path, because of mine enemies.
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12 Deliver me not over unto the will of mine

enemies: for false witnesses are risen up
against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.
13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see

the goodness of the Lord in the land of the
living.
14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he

shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on
the Lord.
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Chapter 23
MOVING BEYOND PAIN
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You've been hurt and it has effected you in ways that

you don't even realize. The pain may have changed you
dramatically and traumatically because your response to
pain is automatically triggered. The event has left little
markers in indelible ink to remind you subconsciously of
the pain and changed your life in some way or ways,
forever. Now, maybe you take the trash out at 8:00 p.m.
instead of 11:00 p.m. You wash your hands over and over
again, not knowing why. You don't trust the opposite sex.
You stay away from family or friends and keep to yourself.
You stay away from children and you begin to hoard things
in your house. You hate going to work and can't seem to
hold down a job. Learning seems like a bore and you want
to drop out of school.
Perhaps, eating has become a way of life for you. You

may be someone who is afraid to eat or you not only eat to
live, you live to eat. Oh, there may be numerous reasons
why you eat too much, don't eat, or throw up, but, they
all stem from pain. You say you want to be happy, but, you
just can't seem to get there. You watch a once confident
person become anxious, depressed, lonely, moody,
impatient, angry, violent, or even addicted or suicidal.
You've been diagnosed with a chronic or terminal

disease. You say, "The heck with it, I'm going to die
anyway!" So, you just give up. Maybe you keep smoking or
don't take your medication and treatment. You'll just help
the process along.
All of these situations and scenarios sound pretty

hopeless and permanent, but, are they? Of course, you're
waiting for me to tell you to give your pain to God, Jesus
will make it all better, and God will wipe all of your
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tears away. Although those things are true, I'm not going
to tell you that, not just yet. Those things may sound
simple to you, but, unless you've tried Jesus and God, you
know it's not that simple. God requires much more of you.
Your pain also is rooted in pride, lacking acceptance

and endurance, and based on a false reality you have
created for yourself. Why you? Why not you? It happened.
God allowed it, but, He never left you alone. If He was
there, how could He watch you be hurt? How could He watch
His Son be beaten, spat upon, ridiculed, falsely accused,
tortured, and crucified? And yet, it too, happened for a
reason.
The difference between God watching you go through pain

and watching His Son, is what happened afterward. You see,
Christ rose from the dead with all power in His hands,
having conquered the world, saved us by completing His
mission to die for our sins, defeated death, defeated
Satan, and set the captives in hell free, but, you are
still carrying around your pain and in bondage. God is
still watching and He hasn't given up on you. Have you
given up on yourself?
Most of us don't realize that in being a Believer,

"belief" covers all, that is, everything in our lives. We
must believe that God is able to affect and deliver us
from all things.
Sometimes the body stores up pain like it stores up

fat, because, WE don't want to forget about our pain. In
some way we are FEEDING off of the pain to comfort
ourselves or justify our behavior. We have a VICTIM
MENTALITY that thrives on remembering the pain we endured.
So, either consciously or subconsciously, we harvest our
pain and store it within.
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However, we can't store pain without it infesting the

rest of our body. It will be manifested in some way,
usually, in some type of negative behavior or illness,
because pain is a result of a negative impact upon us.
So, how do we find our pain? How do we know we don't

need it to strengthen us and protect us in certain
situations? Pain has been known to do that in very
positive ways. Are there different types of pain or just
different types of reactions to pain? I've think we've hit
the nail on the head. Our REACTION to pain is what
determines its lasting effect and the ways in which we use
it.
By simply remembering pain, I am allowing myself to

retain useful information for decision-making. By storing
pain or holding it within as a part of my feelings, I am
making it a part of me and my behavior. It begins to
determine, not only my decisions, but it takes over the
way that I function, knowingly and unknowingly, within my
life. I may unwillingly be a captive in bondage to pain.
Pain will hide itself and bury itself deeply within you
to prevent being rooted out. Not knowing why you feel the
way that you do, you may try to self-medicate, become
addicted to prescribed medications, or develop new
behaviors or latent behaviors may even be awakened, become
active or magnified. Most of us have come into contact
with angry people who have no patience for others, bully
people and lash out with profanity, hateful and angry
words. These are people who have never learned to deal
with their pain. They've buried it deep within themselves.
These are people who have no peace. These are unprotected
people who aren't wearing the Armour of God. These are
people who reject peace and in doing so, reject Christ,
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who is our Peace. Thus, they reject God.
What is abundant life without Peace? There is no

abundant life without God. We need to know where our pain
lies, how it is affecting us, and how to root it out.
Yes, when we are in trouble, Jesus is there to fix it.

God will wipe all tears away. But, then what? What has it
done to change you if you're still holding on to your pain
and use it to go gossip or bad mouth someone else to make
yourself feel better? What if you use your pain to hate
all people of color because you had one person of color
hurt you? Maybe you grew up poor or struggling, or you
lost your job because the factory closed down, so, now,
you want to blame someone for your pain and the best
person to blame is someone who is not like you. Yes, we
need to know where our pain lies, how it is affecting us,
and how to root it out, or, someone will come along and
fill us with all kinds of lies and hatred and make us
believe we're the only ones who are right and entitled to
live and prosper.
Pain is part of the entourage of pride, thus, it never

travels alone. We all know that misery love company. Pride
breeds pain, fear, mistrust, lies, deceit, violence and
murder; for it is a sickness. This is why God refers to
humbling ourselves and healing the land. WE ARE IN PAIN as
a people, as a nation, and as a world.
PEOPLE WHO PASS ALONG HATRED,
PASS ALONG PAIN AND INSECURITY.
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To strengthen ourselves and our nations, we need to

find our pain and root it out. We must root out those
using pain and fear to prosper and elevate themselves and
those who stand by and do nothing to stop it in order to
further their agenda. Their pride tells them that they
need their pain to define who they are; to unite together
as one. But, that is where they are wrong. Pain takes away
your identity and divides to the point of dividing one
within themselves.
Hidden within pain is a ticking time bomb, which will

eventually explode. Those looking to pain and fear to
unite people to their cause will see it blow up in their
faces. Pain and fear are unstable compounds and Satan
holds the detonator.
When you were hurt, you were not in control of the pain
that controlled someone else. You could not predict when
the bomb would go off and you would become the victim.
However, you can be in control of the pain that you carry
within you. You can root it out and prevent Satan from
setting it off.
What will it take for you to let go of your pain and

feel comfortable without it? Has your pain brought shame
and guilt along with it, also? Are you too ashamed to
acknowledge your pain? --Too ashamed to let somebody else
know it's there? Perhaps you feel your quirky little
habits don't bother you and shouldn't bother anyone else.
These habits, negative, addictive or compulsive behaviors
help you cope and that's enough. You're satisfied with
coping, that is, until the time bomb goes off and you have
no control over your pain. It's too late to take it back,
because, you've hurt yourself or someone else.
Maybe, you've joined people who think like you think
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and who make you feel that it's alright to think that way.
Maybe you actually believe that everyone is entitled to
their opinion, no matter who it hurts, even if their
opinion is based upon lies and hatred. Maybe you believe
these people are good people obeying God. Maybe you don't
know that they are acting out of their pain. Maybe you
don't know what "good" is.
It seems that most of the world doesn't mind being

controlled by pain and fear, but, as a true Believer
seeking abundant and eternal life, are you "of" the world?
Then, you know that there is another way. Now, I can tell
you that you know the Way; that Way is Jesus.
Still, it's not that simple. If you're going to follow

Jesus into abundant and eternal life, then, you must let
go of your pain and not look back. You can no longer trust
it to tell you how to act and what to do or even how to
feel. You can't use it to hurt others, to discriminate,
judge and justify hate. These things are only of the world
and not of the Kingdom of God where you want to go.
Those people telling you that you can love and obey
God, hold on to your pain and fear and still be hateful,
prejudice, selfish, greedy, violent, profane, and immoral
in any way don't know Jesus and wouldn't like Him if they
did. Jesus preached accepting and loving all people of
every race, ethnicity, creed, religion, and nation. One
day, if these people full of pain and fear don't turn from
their wicked ways, they will stand face to face with God
and find out that all of the time that they claimed to
know God, God never knew them or claimed them as one of
His children.
There is no abundant or eternal life for those who

thrive on, loving and worship pain, hate, and fear, only
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more pain, hate, and fear that ends in nothingness.
Our relationship with God is first and foremost of

importance in our abundant lives. God will leave no stone
unturned to root out the darkness within us and purge us
of unholiness and unrighteousness. Following Christ
involves surrendering every area and facet of our lives in
order to keep from sin and becoming blind to the danger
that awaits if we withhold our feelings and pain to be
examined by God's Holy Spirit. God cannot teach us and
guide us if we are unwilling students, resisting new ideas
and change. Need I remind you that in doing so, we kick
against the goad, the authority of God?
Our resistance, our dependency upon our pride and pain

to dictate our lives will land us at the crossroad of
acceptance and endurance as individuals and as nations.
Until we decide to accept those events in our lives, in
our ancestry, and in our history that have made us into
what God created us to be, we will remain in pain and in
fear, slaves to victim mentality, slaves to hatred,
selfish, violence, abuse and greed. We will remain in
sickness--unhealed.
God is waiting for you to take the first step in a

multitude of steps for others toward restoration, moving
beyond self-preservation to truly living an abundant life
and healing the land; leaving behind the fear of being
vulnerable and too proud to face what is keeping you in
bondage. Trust him. He will continue to keep you from this
point forward as you delve into your feelings and
behaviors.
Jesus was not sent to perform miracles, suffer the

cross and rise from the dead to make God look good. It was
for YOU! What Jesus suffered changed not only His life,
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but, our lives, also. Today can be a new afterward and a

new beginning for you. Yes, Jesus died to save mankind
from sin, but part of that saving involves EMPOWERING
mankind! DO YOU WANT TO BE EMPOWERED?! Do you want to move
beyond your pain and be who God created you to be? You too
can rise from the wages of sin, which is death. You too
can conquer the pain, pride, fear, sin, and darkness of
this world. You too can defeat Satan and the darkness
seeking to keep you in bondage to pride and pain, and to
destroy mankind. Exposing and surrendering your pain and
pride is part of dying to our flesh, humbling ourselves
and turning from our wicked ways.
When Abraham left behind the land which he knew and

where he grew up, surrounded by friends and family, he had
no way of knowing exactly what was in store for him. Yet,
he had his belief. He believed God and God counted it as
righteousness. You already know what lies beyond your
pain--God's promise and your abundant life. God is asking
you to change your reaction to your pain and instead, wear
His WHOLE Armour. God is asking you to bear the Fruit of
His Holy Spirit. God wants to take you out of your old
life to a new life like Abraham, but, first...God is
asking you to "believe."
Ephesians 6:10-18(KJV)
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and

in the power of his might.
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11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be

able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but

13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God,

that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day,
and having done all, to stand.
14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about

with truth, and having on the breastplate of
righteousness;
15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the

gospel of peace;
16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith

ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of
the wicked.
17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword

of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication

in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all
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SUMMARY
TAKE IT WITH YOU
Matthew 19:26(KJV)
But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With

men this is impossible; but with God all things
are possible.
Romans 8:8(KJV)
And we know that all things work together for

good to them that love God, to them who are the
called according to his purpose.
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36 Master, which is the great commandment in

the law?
37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the

Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all
thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt

love thy neighbour as thyself.
40 On these two commandments hang all the law

and the prophets.
Your abundant life is God's promised gift to you. Each

and everyday, take it with you wherever you go. Assess
your desires, intentions and actions. Assign the things
you possess and desire to possess a place in your life,
knowing that material things and everything else belong to
God and He has loaned it to you for a while. Let those
things you desire that are not within God's Will for you
remind you that He has even better things in store for
you, if you stand in His Will and Way until your change
comes.
If we become so attached to things in our lives and so

needy; if our obsession drives us to be so proud, so
arrogant, and so over indulgent we do not recognize our
sin, then, we really don't understand the scope of eternal
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and abundant life. We are still living within the shallow,

false reality of the world and not the Truth of God's
eternal Kingdom.
Now, if this applies to you, you can take this as

cutting words that offend you and strengthen your pride,
or, you can take this as words of Truth, given in love to
lead you into fruitfulness, holiness and righteousness.
We are never too old or too smart to learn new things--

just too proud. Each time I learn something new, I realize
my true age. In teaching me new ways of thinking, God
opens the door to another phase of my life. I may be in my
senior years in body, but, in spirit, I am young. Only
through following the Mind of Christ am I truly wise and
mature. Only united with God and Christ am I whole.
Whenever I have gone through trials and temptations,

I've had the feeling that I want to get my life back. I
want things to return to normal the way they were, not
realizing that it was the worst thing I could ever want
because God was trying to move me forward. God was trying
to move me past my pride; past those feelings of
insecurity; past my comfort zone; past that old life that
limited me or held me in bondage and into a new and ever
improving better me and better life.
Those feelings I had of wanting things to stay the same

were steeped in ignorance and pride. It is the same
feeling that has swept over and enveloped that portion of
America referred to as "populist." America has been a
country steeped in ignorance and pride, fed by privilege,
wealth, and greed. Therefore, God is doing a new thing to
move us on and out of our comfort zone.
699
Change is most often painful and can appear to be

chaotic because we are so caught up in fighting against it
instead of letting Truth (God) have His Will and Way. Just
as I must look at changes in my life as related to who God
has chosen and created me to be, so must America do also,
or, continue to suffer from ignorance and chaos. My
choices in life must reflect and adhere to those
principles which define who I am and was created to be in
Christ Jesus.
If I am truly a friend of God, I cannot betray that

friendship, lest I too be brought to my knees as every
enemy and foe of the Almighty Jehovah God! America has
betrayed that friendship as have so many nations who claim
to be a friend of God, yet, instead have befriended
ignorance, hatred, pride, and the ways of darkness.
EARTHQUAKES
What can we as true Believers do? WE CAN SHAKE UP THE

WORLD!!! --Moving on from our own pride and pain, and
accepting the better life God is offering to us, being
free from the bondage of vanity, worldly things, and
ideas; and free to live in fruitfulness and abundance. We
can be role models; the examples of Jesus that the world
so badly needs.
If we are to move beyond pride, within ourselves and

our nations, we must understand that the hardships we
endure, our failures and set backs are a way of God using
us and growing us. It would be wonderful to live a life of
holy, heavenly bliss, never knowing of pain and sorrow,
but, we cannot be prepared for that life to come without
700
first shedding the things of THIS world which corrupt us

and helping others to do the same.
We can no longer think only of ourselves, or, as

nationalist, living separate, living in solitude,
unaccountable to others and unaffected by the world. We
can no longer think of our own prosperity and well-being
while ignoring the suffering, plight and economic
disparity imposed upon others. We are witnessing the
effects of such actions, where selfishness, ego-centrism
and overindulgence, led by ignorance, blindness and lies
have led to war, terrorism, the rise of hate groups,
corrupt and racist leaders, suffering and death in this
world today.
Sometimes God uses an earthquake to move the earth and

crumble everything down, setting things Topsy-turfy, in
order to straighten things out like they should be. Then,
we find that there is hope where there are lifted hearts;
help where there are loving hands; and humility where
there are those led beyond their pride to become part of
the solutions instead of part of the problems we face.
We must be able to see the difference in God producing

an earthquake and a man-made earthquake, such as the
tactic being used in the current administration in the
White House under Donald Trump. He, his cohorts, and
accomplices (Putin, Alt-Right, White Supremacists and
those who support white privilege) believe that they can
create their own earthquake, destroying the democratic
institutions and laws of the United States and other
nations, in order to promote their own agenda of
selfishness, greed, control, hate, lies, oppression, and
discrimination. They carry along with them, in bondage,
The Blind, The Sleeping, The Proud, and The Hurting.
701
When we are stuck in a quagmire, a Grey Zone, a dark

pit, up against a wall, backed into a corner, then, we
must look to God for a way out, instead of closing our
eyes to grope in darkness with fear, distrust, hatred,
prejudice and pride, insecurity, anxiety, depression,
oppression, violence and harm to our neighbor. We must
open our eyes to The Light. Hopefully, that Light is
within us. If not, we must invite Him in to search our
hearts and release us from bondage and pride, that we may
rise up as individuals; rise up as communities, cities and
nations; and rise up as mankind.
Abundant life--Take it with you into the world where it

is needed to touch lives. If necessary, allow God to use
you as that earthquake needed to wake people up. Your
abundant life is not something you can leave at home when
you go to work, school, or out and about. It is not
something you can forget about when you decide to be with
friends, go out to let your hair down and have fun.
Abundant life is a privilege, a promise borne of holy and
divine sacrifice, and an experience for you to share with
others. It is defined in how you live and communicate,
because it is part of your relationship with God.
You are no longer just an outcast from the Garden of

Eden. You cannot be separated from your Heavenly Father.
You are One with Him, covered in His abundant,
unconditional love. It is by His Grace and Mercy and the
sacrifice of His only begotten Son that you can be
forgiven, fruitful, and once again be in communion with
God. How is it that we can take this for granted and not
suffer to be forgiven for our pride and arrogance?
God has required us to move beyond thinking of

ourselves as only human and equipped us with His Holy
Spirit and Jesus so that we can no longer make that claim
702
or excuse as Adam and Eve did for our failures and

weaknesses.
We need only to look up to the hills from which comes

our help and hold on to the unchanging hand of God.
Yes, we can move beyond our pride and have an affect

upon the atmosphere and the inner sphere of darkness that
plagues mankind. We can dispel the lies of the adversary
which diminish and vanquish hope within hearts. What is
discipleship if not the changing of hearts and minds to
follow the course of righteousness into Eternal Light?
REMEMBERING WHAT WE'VE LEARNED
My Friends, my Brethren, my Neighbors, hear the truth

and remember what Jesus said of the miracles that WE, His
followers shall be able to do and even more in our faith
and sacrifice. Therefore, should we not shut tight the
lips of doubt and despair that prevent the losing and
binding of things in Heaven and on Earth, seeking to bring
us down to a level of faithlessness and mediocrity? Yes,
we have been EMPOWERED! WE are the true MOVERS and
SHAKERS, but, let us not forget that in Christ, WE ARE
MORE THAN CONQUERS!
Live an abundant life knowing who you are and who God
created you to be! Never forget that you are WORTHY
through Christ Jesus and God has chosen gifts specifically
for you. If you allow God to use you and your gifts, you
cannot fail. Accept your life and who you are. You were
created to endure by being connected to God.
703
We live in a world that often outlaws God to live by

man's laws and ways; where definitions and norms change
from culture to culture and society to society; where
everyone is not seen as being equal or worthy; and where
people are labeled and put into categories. Some of these
norms are often set up for the benefit of a specific group
and/or race. We cannot let worldly definitions and
expectations define us. We must look to God and Christ for
our identity and see ourselves as God sees us.
Claim your place in the world, but not to become of the

world. When necessary, RESIST AND PERSIST! If we are to be
instrumental in the process of revival, resurrection,
restoration and reconnection of the institutional church
to God, we must teach others to resist and persist
against: those rituals and ceremonies that are within
competition with Christ as the Head of the Body and Chief
Shepherd; those things which confuse the people to whose
voice they should follow and obey; and those things which
continue to place Believers behind a veil. If they are to
live abundantly and eternally, they must truly accept and
trust Christ, be born again and learn to resist and
persist against those things which take our eyes off of
Jesus and DISCONNECT us from God and His Kingdom.
Stay connected to God! Stand in your abundance against

the enemies of God. Meet conflict FUNCTIONING in the Mind
of Christ. Do not become complacent or set in a comfort
zone. Don't settle for just being part of the world, but
have an affect upon the world. Recognize and resist the
tendency to apply the world to the Word of God instead of
living the Word within the Kingdom of God.
A voice is a powerful tool. Let your voice and words be

heard, echoing the Word of God to all. When you are
704
looking into the eyes of sin, call it out by name and know
that "greater is He that is within you, then he that is in
the world." When you know your purpose, you can be driven,
but, you must know your mind and heart to stay focused.
We have come a long way since the Garden of Eden and

the first Adam. When God sent us the second Adam, Jesus,
who asked of God that the Helper be given to us, we became
more than simply human. We can no longer use the excuses
of Adam and Eve. We are endowed with God's Holy Spirit and
"...with God all things are possible."
JOIN ME in loving God, Jesus and life after rebirth! I

have found my wings through truth, love, reality, faith,
endurance, acceptance, obedience and humility. Carried by
faith and God, I have been elevated to mount-up upon
eagle's wings, seated in my abundant life. As I continue
my journey through this life, I take God's promise and
precious gift with me, headed toward eternity and home.
**********************************************************
Father, help us to be an example. We live in a

world today, where we turn on the television and often
see nothing but people filled with pride, vanity,
hatred, anger, jealousy, greed, fear, profanity,
mistrust, lies, deception, perversion, violence, and
lust. Our children look to some of the people they see
on television as role models.
Father show us how to be a Light in the darkness so

that our children will have good role models to follow.
Help us to put you and Your Kingdom above our desires
and not succumb to the flesh and the world.
Many of us substitute material things for that
705
which is missing in our lives. We may be fooled by what

the world calls self-esteem, believing things will make
us feel better about ourselves and perhaps, people will
value us more, envy or look up to us. We may perceive
these as normal feelings to have because we see others
having them, also.
We may be fooled by what some people call

beautiful, handsome or sexy and want to change
ourselves to be more desirable, but, Father, help us to
see through the fog to the Light that always shines
bright upon us with acceptance and love.
Father, you know that there is so much more going

on in the world beyond these things of vanity. There is
war, terrorism, murder, drought, starvation, slavery,
rape, torture, oppression, discrimination, hatemongery,
addiction, suicide, imprisonment, sickness and dying
and so much more. Yet, the enemy can cause us to lose
sight of everything around us and become engrossed and
obsessed with our own problems, relationships, desires,
and insecurities. Often, we feel that there is nothing
or little that we can do to help these situations.
Remind us that healing begins with us. We pray that Thy
Will Be Done, within us, on Earth and in Heaven.
Lord, help us to see that the only thing standing

in our way to peace, love, joy, abundant life and
eternity is us. Help us to bury our pride and return
into the Light of Truth.
Father, you have allowed us to return into Your

presence. It is a privilege to walk and talk with You.
We are humbled, yet, no longer naked and in sin, but
clothed in holiness and righteousness, privileged to
commune with You, Father to child, and Friend to
friend.
We thank you for this journey you have taken us
706
upon to know ourselves better and come closer to You.

Lord, as we pray for the sick, the lost and wayward
souls, we also ask that You use us to share our
experiences to help someone else, to comfort, to bring
in the lost, awaken the sleeping, and increase the
Kingdom.
Have Thy Way Lord! Use us as a trumpet in the land

or a pillar to stand in Thy name. Help us to be bold.
Keep our feet upon the straight path and our eyes upon
Jesus, following the Mind of Christ our Savior. Help us
to rest and abide within your Holy Spirit.
We thank you for who You are, Father. We love you.

We adore you. We accept your love, gifts and
forgiveness. We accept our lives and who you have
created us to be, believing that you know what is best
for Your children.
We pray and ask these things in Jesus' most

precious and Holy name. Amen.
You have an eternity ahead of you, my brothers and

sisters. Take it with you and use it to glorify God.
Love eternally, your servant and soldier, united with the

One, mishael
PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!
707
From The Transformed Heart of A Woman
Episode 24
AUNTIE YONNY:
PIGS FLY AND HELL HAS FROZEN OVER?
708

From The Transformed Heart of A Woman
Episode 24
AUNTIE YONNY:
PIGS FLY AND HELL HAS FROZEN OVER?
Hal woke up to the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. He'd

gotten use to the smell wafting down the hallway, but,
this morning it was so strong that it seemed like it was
right under his nose. He knew that he had slept hard
through the night. He was hugging his pillow and drooling
like he did when he was a little boy after a long day of
playing outside. Then, he realized that his face was
feeling a little too wet and cold. He opened his eyes to
see water pouring down on his mouth.
"Wake up, son, you're slobbering in front of the lady."
Hal, turned over and sat up. Zenobia and his Dad were
howling with laughter. Startled, embarrassed, and still
not fully awake, he pulled the sheet and blanket up to his
chest making them laugh even more.
"Too, late, son, we've both seen it all before."
"Good morning, I'm sorry to wake you Hal, but, your

father insisted on coming in. I'll...I'll just leave you
two gentleman alone and let you enjoy your coffee. I have
to get Mrs. Yanovich ready for the day. I'll see you
later, Mr. Siegfried."
709
"Yes, sweetheart, I'll see you later. Here, son, I

brought you some coffee. You look like you need it."
"Good morning, Dad. Yeah, I do...sweetheart?"
"Jealous?"
"No, but, aren't you a little old for..."
"Hey, don't hate because I'm great. I've still got

charm, you know, if nothing else. Back in the day, they
called me Rico Suave."
"Your name is David, Dad, and you're not Hispanic."
"Uh-oh! I think you're jealous. Maybe you've got a

thing for Zenobia, too. Am I right?"
"No, Dad. I'm grateful for Zenobia and all she's done
for us since you've been here. Look at you, you're up and
out of the bed, able to..."
Hal started to get choked up about his father's

recovery. This was the first time he had been there when
his father was having a heart attack. Watching him suffer
had been almost unbearable for him and the days that
followed, waiting for him to respond to treatment, had
been torture.
Now, he was sitting in a wheelchair, wearing his oxygen

tubes, still hooked up to an I.V., but, smiling and
laughing, and that meant more than anything to Hal.
710
Zenobia had brought in one of her assistants full-time

to help with Tanya, while she cared for his father. Hal
couldn't have asked for better care or a better person to
give it. Of course, he found Zenobia attractive and nice
to be around, but, he didn't feel the same way about her
that he felt for Rachel.
"We have a lot to talk about still, Dad. I don't know

how much you remember while you were heavily drugged. I
told you how I came here initially to do a story on Mrs.
Yanovich. Miriam, her niece, who was murdered, asked me to
work for them. Then, she said that Mrs. Yanovich had named
me in her will to start a foundation and a media company.
That's all I knew, at first. Then, things started getting
strange. I found out a lot of stuff that had been going on
in the White House that nobody really knew about. Derek
Graves is running for president and the family is divided
into two factions feuding with one another. I knew a lot
of people hated the Graves, but, I didn't know that there
were secrets people would kill for to keep quiet. Arturo
and Miriam were murdered. I found out that we are part of
the Graves family and inherited the money from them. I
took over the businesses and now you're here.
There is a lot about our family you need to know, Dad.

I want to keep you safe. You need to talk to your aunt."
"I don't want to talk to her."
"Why not?"
"I don't want to talk to her because she let her father
and the rest of those crooks up in the White House get
711
away with murder! And, she was a big crook too--selling

dresses, shoes, bras and panties from the White House.
They were all huddled up in there nice and cozy, telling
lie after lie after lie after lie after...."
"Okay Dad, I get it! But, she's not like that any
more."
"WHAAAT?! Well, look out the window, because pigs must

be flyin' and hell done froze over. Boy?! What do you mean
she's not like that anymore? They must have turned you
into a candy-headed fool!"
"Dad, I'm going to be gone a lot today. There are final

preparations to be made for the funerals, tomorrow, so,
you might want to go in and talk to Auntie Tanya and keep
each other company."
"Auntie Tanya? Listen to you boy! They've got your mind

ALL messed up! If your grandfather could hear you...mm-mm-
mmm. Lord, forgive him. All that money has gone to his
head."
"It's not the money, Dad. Just try to go talk to her.

She may not be here too much longer."
"Well yip...you almost made me say something I didn't

want to say. Listen, boy, I told you. Do I have to spell
it out for you? I-DO-NOT-WANT-T0-SEE-HER! Besides, I saw
her old wrinkly behind already. I've been over there and
I'm not going back. It was scary and I might have another
heart attack."
712
Daaad! When? How'd you...
Zenobia rolled me over there to see her, but, she was

asleep, thank goodness. I told her I didn't want to go.
But...Zenobia's hard to resist, hee-hee. If you know what
I mean."
"Dad!...Did you tell her that...?"
"I didn't tell her nothin' I don't want people knowing

I'm related to those people."
"Those people, Dad? Okay, but, I don't want you staying

in your room all day watching TV."
"You go on to where you've got to go. I'm not going to

be in my room all day. I've got a date! Zenobia is taking
me out on the rooftop later on. She said we can eat lunch
out there and maybe dinner, too. She said if I'm up to it,
she'll help me get in the shower later on and..."
"Dad, get your mind out of the gutter. Zenobia is a

nice, decent woman."
"I know she is. I haven't looked at a woman like that

since your mama. She's the kind of woman that you ought to
be looking at."
"I have a girlfriend."
"Is she black?"
713
"No...what difference does it make if she's white or

black? Now you're sounding like the Graves family."
"I bet she's not as pretty as Zenobia. That's one tall,

dark beauty and smart, too."
"You keep messing around Dad and you're going to give

yourself another heart attack looking at Zenobia. Let's go
get breakfast."
"Yeah, let's do that. I want to hear more about this

three hundred billion dollars we have."
"Two hundred ninety billion, Dad."
"Two hundred ninety billion, three hundred billion,

it's still a lot of dirty, ill-begotten dough."
"The way I see it, it's money owed to us, after what
Willard Graves did to your grandmother. You can't put a
price on a life. "
"That no good...Lord, forgive me."
"It belongs to us and the people, especially the ones

that they swindled and lied to."
"The people? You're going to give all that money away,

son?"
714
"I'm going to put it to good use and do what Willard

Graves should have done if he cared about people, but,
Willard Graves never cared about anybody but himself."
"He was a mean, hateful, sick, demented man, but, let's

not waste our time talking about that muskrat, stinking
polecat, slimy snake."
"Dad?!"
"Forgive me, Lord."
David Siegfried continued mumbling to himself as Hal

threw on some clothes. They were about to leave the room,
when a call came in to the bedside phone. Hal hurried to
answer.
"Hello? Yes, hello, Lieutenant Hamilton. You do? Yes,

that is good news. Mmm...I've got a little time this
morning. Yes, about ten o'clock. There? Okay. I'll have my
chauffeur bring me around to the station at ten. Okay.
Bye."
Hal backed up and almost sat on his father who had

crept up on him to ease drop on his phone call.
"Who was that, Hal?"
"That was Lieutenant Hamilton, the investigator for

Miriam and Arturo's murder case. He says that he has new
information and possible leads."
715
"Are you going to the police station by yourself, son?

A black man should never go to the police station by
himself. You might not walk out of there. Just because you
have money doesn't mean they won't try to lock you up or
beat you down. Some of those cops hate to see us with
money."
"Don't worry, Dad. I'll be alright. I'll try to see if

one of the attorneys is free and send my chauffeur to pick
him up."
"Your chauffeur...my, my, my the richest black man in

the world. Lord, have mercy. Come on, son. I want some
bacon."
"You're not eating bacon, Dad."
"Says who?"
"Zenobia and the doctor."
"Well if I die, at least I'll die a rich man."
"I hate to remind you, but, you know what the Bible
says, Dad."
"What?"
"How does it go? It's easier for a camel..."
"It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a
716
needle, than for a rich man to enter into the Kingdom of

God. Mark 10. OH, NO! OH, LORD, JESUS!
"Are you okay, Dad?"
"NO SON! IT'S THE DEVIL'S WORK! HE AND WILLARD GRAVES

ARE TRYING TO TAKE ME TO HELL WITH THEM!"
"Daaad! You shouldn't play like that!"
"You trying to tell me what to do...why I'll. I'll get

up out of this wheelchair and wallop you, boy. I'm going
to run you over!"
"I'm going to tell your auntie on you."
"Boy!"
"Oooo...you look like Willard Graves when you make that

face!"
"That's it! I'm going to get you this time!"
"Too slow, old man!"
"Old MAN?!"
David Siegfried did his best to run the wheelchair into

Hal as they went down the hallway. All Hal could do was
717
laugh and dodge, encouraging his father's playfulness,

until, fearing for his father's health, he slowed down,
bracing himself for the collision. Then, taking a seat on
his father's lap, he wheeled the two of them into the
dining room.
718
Episode 25
Part 1
AUNTIE YONNY: FOLLOW THE MONEY
719

Episode 25
Part 1
The next morning, Hal arrived at the funeral with an

entourage fit for a king. Steve and Jake had requested
time off to attend the funerals to pay respect to Miriam
and Arturo. So, they left two of their newly trained
employees at the hospital with Tanya. Steve and Jake's
security service was off to a good start. They certainly
came through for Hal and wasted no time in putting their
men to work and placing them where Hal needed them the
most. Jake had told him that they had no problem finding
employees and mainly hired unemployed, struggling, or
disabled veterans. They brought six men along with them
who had already been working security and licensed to
carry a firearm. Two of them rode with Hal and were
assigned to be his personal body guards. Included in their
party were Steve and Jake's business partners, including
the wife of the deceased Marine. She had her four
children, her mother and the babysitter. It seemed that
everyone touched by the money bequeathed to Hal from
Miriam, wanted to pay their respect to the woman who had
helped to change and improve their lives.
Tanya had warned Hal to be very careful to do an

independent and thorough background check on all of the
men to find out who they had worked for and also their
associates and connections. Hal had hired a private
investigating firm who were still investigating some of
the applicants, waiting to be hired. She urged him to
720
repeat the process yearly or whenever suspicions arose.

She told him that it was always a practice of her father
to have inside loyal men within every agency and business
whom he could rely upon to report to him and look out for
his best interests. She assured him that Derek Graves
would be using the same tactics.
Hal's new bodyguards, Martin and Vince, instructed Hal

to remain in the car until they and their buddies had
checked out the church and the surrounding areas, so it
was sometime before they came back and told him that all
was clear. Hal got out of the limousine with Vince and
Martin standing on each side, keeping a sharp eye on
everything around them. Hal was impressed. He noticed that
Steve, Jake and the other men were each assigned to one of
the limousines in their party. Again, Hal was impressed.
Zenobia came with one of her assistant nurses. Darla

was with a young woman she was trying out to be Hal's
personal assistant. Hal didn't know her name yet and only
heard Darla refer to her as "hurry up, girl." The young
woman clearly looked frazzled, but, was doing her best to
keep up with all that Darla was saying on her cellphone
while she rummaged through Darla's briefcase and scanned
her tablet to find files Darla expected her to produce at
the snap of her fingers.
Hal noticed Mr. Wellington, Mr. Childress and two other

men who must have been Mr. Gallegos and Mr. Stein, the
other partners at the law firm, getting out of the
limousine several cars behind Steve and Jake. They nodded
politely, buttoned their suits and proceeded to the
walkway where other businessmen had gathered.
Miriam belonged to the largest nondenominational church

in town and the wealthiest. Hal had no doubt that her
721
prearranged funeral service was as elaborate and lavish as

the outer architectural structure and interior design of
the mega-church to which she was a large contributor.
Hal watched the next four limousines unload, which

contained Arturo's family and relatives from Venezuela:
His wife and children; mother and father; sisters and
brothers; and about a dozen aunts, uncles and cousins. Hal
told them that since Arturo's funeral was that afternoon,
they weren't expected to come to Miriam's funeral, but,
Arturo's parents said that it would be disrespectful not
to attend and represent Arturo at his boss's funeral,
especially after all that had been done to get all of them
there. There was a time when it would have been impossible
to get all of them into the country at all under President
Graves' administration, even as visitors with passports.
Hal was thankful those days were over.
Darla had even thought to hire a translator to meet

them at the airport and be with them throughout their
stay. Hal assumed that the man herding them all together
and giving them directions was the translator.
Arturo and his family were members of a Catholic church

on the opposite side of town. Darla had arranged for the
same police escort who brought them there to get them to
the cathedral. The funeral home director had been somewhat
confused and irritated by having to duplicate services for
Arturo's family at both funerals, but, graciously complied
when Hal paid more than the expected fees.
Things seemed to be moving smoothly along, until the

other faction of the Graves Family arrived. Their caravan
arrived, escorted by police and secret service. They
remained in their cars as was protocol and were
immediately surrounded by the media. After, pushing back
722
the crowd of journalists, one of the secret service agents

approached the funeral director, apparently to give
instructions. The director then went over to Darla and
told her something. She threw up her arms, knocking the
briefcase out of the new assistant's hands, sending the
papers scattering and falling to the ground. The young
woman immediately set to crawling on the ground to scrape
up the documents. Hal could hear Darla saying in
exasperation, "hurry up, girl!" He began to understand why
Darla worked alone. Steve rushed to assist the young woman
and find out from Darla the nature of the conversation
with the funeral director and the agent.
"Ma'am is there a problem?"
"Is there a PROBLEM?! I should say so! I've got to get

in there and check on the seating and make sure everyone
is in place for the service and they're telling us that we
can't go in until after Derek Graves and the rest of the
Graves Family goes in. Our armed security will have to
remain outside, because no weapons will be allowed."
"It's okay, ma'am. We were leaving two of our guys

outside anyway. Jake and I will leave all of our weapons
with them. We'll be communicating with each other
throughout the service, so, our men are prepared to help
you get everyone seated like you want them, once we get
inside."
"Thank you, Steve. I don't know what I would do without

you and Jake. Okay, Sharon..."
"Karen, ma'am."
723
"Uh, Karen, there has been a change of plans. Find me

the seating chart for the church...hurry up, girl."
724
Episode 25
Part 2
725

Episode 25
Part 2
Hal recognized some of the people who were arriving as

board members and employees of Miriam who had been at
various meetings. They paid him little attention and were
more interested in getting in line to meet Derek Graves.
He was about to go follow the line in when his bodyguard
moved to block a young woman from his path.
"Excuse me, excuse me...uh...I just want to speak to

Mr. Siegfried for a moment! He knows me! We talked on the
phone. Mr. Siegfried! Mr. Siegfried! It's Natalie
Tiledeler! We talked on the phone a while ago. I just need
a minute with you. I'm sorry to bother you at such an
inopportune time."
Hal walked over to Natalie Tiledeler, guarded carefully

by his other bodyguard.
"Hello, Ms. Tiledeler"
"Excuse me, Mr. Siegfried. I know this is not the right

time and I should call your secretary, but, when I saw
such a handsome man standing over there, I just knew that
it had to be you. I...I mean...your voice on the
phone...sounded so...so young and handsome, that's how I
knew it was you. You do remember calling me, don't you?"
726
"Yes, of course, Ms. Tiledeler."
Hal didn't expect Natalie Tiledeler to be so young. She

looked like she was barely out of high school.
"I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you. There's just

so much going on."
"Oh, my goodness, yes! Isn't it just dreadful? I mean

poor Mrs. Barrett, her throat slashed and all. Who could
have done such a barbaric thing? Cutting her life short
like that. I mean she was old and all, but she still had
some days ahead of her. And what an awful way to die. It's
like something out of a horror movie. I know you weren't
prepared for any of this to happen, but who's ever
prepared for death? When I lost my daddy, I cried for
weeks."
"Ms. Tiledeler, it's time for us to go in."
"Oh, forgive me. I said I was only going to take up a

minute of your time. I'm so sorry. I just rattle on when
I'm nervous, especially in front of handsome men. May I
just walk in with you, Mr. Siegfried? I don't have an
escort and I could use the support. I don't like funerals
at all. They always remind me of losing my daddy. Can I
hang onto your arm, just in case? I'm feeling a little
weak."
Natalie Tiledeler grabbed Hal's arm and leaned her head

on him before he could say anything.
727
"But, what I wanted to ask you, Mr.

Siegfried...uh...can I cal you Hal?"
"Yes, I don't mind."
"Well, Hal, can I come see you?...uh..I mean on

business; for a business meeting to talk about
business...in a meeting that is."
"Yes, Ms. Tiledeler..."
Please call me Natalie."
"Yes, Natalie, I was going to get back to you about

your newspaper. I'd like to invest in it and help you
bring it back to life."
"Oh, my goodness! That would be wonderful! I can't wait

to see you...and talk about business that is. I want to
save the paper that my daddy poured his life into. That's
what my daddy wanted. You see, my half sisters and
brothers, well, they're all thirty years or more older
than I am. My mama was daddy's last wife, she was a model,
you know. That's where I get my good genes from. (giggle)
Those Graves are always talking about good genes like

President Graves did, but, he and the rest of those Graves
wouldn't know a good gene if it jumped up and bit 'em
smack dab in the face! (giggle). If you ask me, most of
those Graves inherited the president's wacky genes. They
have the nerve to call my great-grandfather the Mad
Hatter, but, that President Graves was as nutty and crazy
as they come. Don't you think so, Hal?
728
Anyway, they think that because they have money and go

to the best schools they can buy class and decency. Huh!
If they bought it, they wouldn't know how to wear it.
Those Graves are a classless, vulgar, low down bunch of
liars, bigots, con men and women. I wouldn't want to be
one of them, would you, Hal?
But, where was I?...Oh!...the paper! My half brothers

and sisters didn't want to run the paper and they don't
see any point in trying to save daddy's newspaper, so,
they won't help me. They all would sell it if they could,
but, daddy left it to me. They all hate me because I was
daddy's favorite. They say daddy spoiled me..."
They were nearing the church doors, when Hal began to

tune out Natalie Tiledeler's voice because he noticed
Rachel in the crowd of reporters. He tried to tug his arm
away from Natalie gently, but, she clung to him even
tighter.
"Why me?" thought Hal. He pulled his arm again, but,
there was no getting away. Natalie Tiledeler held on to
him like she was a permanent attachment.
"So, did you hear what I said, Hal? You're my last

hope. You've just got to help me."
At that moment, seeing Rachel, Hal was trying to figure

out how to help himself.
729
Episode 25
Part 3
730

Episode 25
Part 3
All of a sudden, Rachel moved toward Hal. All he could

think was, "OH NO!" He wondered if sweat was pouring down
his head and from under his arms. If it was, Natalie
Tiledeler didn't seem to mind.
"Mr. Siegfried, I'm Rachel Montgomery with The Daily.

Is it true that you saved Tanya Yanovich and her nurse
from the same fate as Miriam Barrett? Some people are
saying that you're a hero."
Natalie Tiledeler squealed, "Oh, my! My own personal

hero!"
Hal wanted to shrink out of his suit into the size of a

tiny ant. Then, again, he probably would be stomped to
death by Rachel.
Following Rachel's lead, most of the media crowd had

flocked over to Hal. Hal looked at Derek Graves, who was
giving him a dirty look, angry for having the spotlight
stolen away from him, while he was campaigning at his
cousin's funeral. The two men icily glaring from behind
him were probably his other cousins, Miriam's sons.
Looking into Rachel's eyes, Hal gave a short statement
731
to the press.
"Yes, my name is Hal Siegfried and this is Natalie

Tiledeler, whom I just met today at the funeral and who
appears to have taken a liking to me.
Natalie Tiledeler, hugged and kissed Hal's arm, beaming

and smiling at having her name mentioned to the press by
Hal.
It was all Rachel could do to keep her composure and

continue behaving as a professional journalist. She wanted
to believe Hal, who had this school-aged girl hanging on
his arm, but, she had found out so many incredibly hard to
believe things about him, recently, that there was doubt
in her mind.
"I'm no hero. I just worked for Mrs. Barrett and was at

the hospital on the night that she and Arturo Pallares
were murdered. I was on a phone call with...
someone...uh...when Mrs. Yanovich's monitor alarm went off
in her room. I was the only one there to help because her
nurse had been drugged. I couldn't find the security guard
or Mrs. Barrett. The elevator wasn't working and I didn't
know who to trust, but, I knew I had to act fast, so, I
got an oxygen tank to help Mrs. Yanovich breathe, carried
her nurse into her room and called the police. That's all.
Simple as that."
Rachel, being the good reporter that she was, asked

another key question. Hal knew how smart she was. He'd
watched her track a story like a bloodhound. Knowing
Rachel, the scent she was following was the smell of
732
money.
"What were you doing staying at the hospital with Mrs.

Barrett and Mrs. Yanovich and how did you come to be named
to run Mrs. Barrett's businesses?"
Rachel was one of the best reporters in the city. Hal

knew it wouldn't take her long to gather some information
on what was going on in his life. Yet, he wasn't ready to
answer those questions, not just yet. It wasn't safe for
him or her. He looked into her eyes wishing he could
communicate his thoughts and his feelings. He could deal
with the other reporters, but, he hated to disappoint
Rachel.
"As I said, I worked for Mrs. Barrett and Mrs.

Yanovich."
He was about to say something else, but, as the line

was moving, his bodyguards, whisked him away toward the
church doors and asked the reporters to leave. Happily,
they went back to hounding Derek Graves.
When they finally reached the entrance, where Derek

Graves had positioned himself and his cousins as the
bereaved family, Hal was prepared to put his hand out to
shake and introduce himself. However, introductions were
not needed. Derek Graves greeted him with a smirk on his
face and much to the amusement of his cousins, made an
attempt at being sarcastic and intimidating.
"So, this is the great, Hal Siegfried, the prize

winning reporter from the Daily? Oh, I'm sorry, I'm
thinking of someone else. You haven't won any prizes have
733
you, Mr. Siegfried, unless you want to count the prize

you'll win for swindling little old ladies out of their
money?"
Laughing and feeling emboldened, one of his cousins

joined in, provoking the laughter of the surrounding
Graves family members.
"Yeah, tell him to enjoy the money while he can,

because, it will soon be back in the hands of family.
We'll see you in court, BOY!"
Surprisingly, Natalie Tiledeler came to his defense.
"If that isn't just like you maggot Graves. --Always

threatening to sue somebody and take them to court. You
never win and you never learn, just like your maggot
great-grandfather, Willard Graves, who screwed up this
country.
Come on, Hal, we don't want to be around THE

DEPLORABLES. Their disgusting, despicable behavior might
be contagious."
"You ought to know, little Miss Tiledeler. Your father

was a cradle robber."
"Well, I guess my father and Willard Graves had

something in common then, pervert."
Hal was speechless. He didn't know what or who had

shocked him the most, Derek Graves and Miriam's son, or
Natalie Tiledeler. He turned to go into the church, when
734
Derek Graves grabbed his hand to shake, squeezing it

extremely tight, and drawing him close to whisper in his
ear. Hal tried not to give in to the pain.
"I heard you're writing a book about our family. Be

careful, it would be a shame if you didn't finish it."
Hal jerked away from Derek and stared directly into his
eyes. Clinching his teeth and fists, he stood there
defiantly, while the other Graves laughed. Natalie had
been pulling at him and one of the agents had been telling
him to move along, but, his blood was boiling and he had
tuned out the world. He would have remained standing there
until he exploded, if Martin and Vince hadn't been there
to pull him away.
As he resisted the two men, it suddenly dawned on him.

If Rachel was following the money, would she cross paths
with Derek Graves? He'd have to make a decision as to what
to do about Rachel and what to tell her, soon. Steve and
Jake needed to be informed about their potential danger,
also. He had no doubt that they were up to the task, but,
did they and their Marine friends sign on to go back into
the heat of battle? Meanwhile, he'd have to talk to Auntie
Tanya about letting loose the "dogs of war."
735
Episode 25
Part 4
736

Episode 25
Part 4
When Hal returned to the hospital that evening, after

spending time with Arturo's family and assuring them of
his ongoing support, he was told that Tanya wanted to see
him as soon as possible. He thought that she wanted to
hear about the funerals, but, her loyal grapevine of
informants had done their job and so, Tanya had other
things in mind.
Hal was told to bring his notebook and recorder, so,

Hal thought that they would also be working on his book.
First, he checked in on his father and found him sleeping,
then, he changed into something comfortable, grabbed a
soda and went to Tanya's bedside.
"Hello, Auntie Tanya. How are you feeling this

evening?"
"I feel like I look, but, I can't help that either. It

is what it is."
Hal, grinned, remembering his first reaction to seeing

Tanya and his father's recent insulting comments about his
aunt's appearance.
"Did you want to hear about the funerals?"
737
Tanya was very blunt and answered sharply.
"NO! I already heard about the funerals and soon I'll

be at my own. Just listen very carefully to what I tell
you. Record it and right down the key points. They're
coming after you, Hal, and there's no time to waste."
Tanya Graves-Weinberg-Yanovich then began to dictate to

Hal the art of financial, cyber, political, and tactical
warfare as taught to her by Ilya Yanovich, who studied
under the tutelage of Vladimir Putin, who intended for him
to succeed him. She threw in tips from her father, here
and there.
Hal wrote furiously and stopped Tanya to go into more

detail, whenever he had questions. Never in his life did
ever think he would need this type of training, but, if he
was going to lead an army, he needed the knowledge to
think like a general. Most of the tactics sounded
unethical, illegal, immoral, and brutal, but, Tanya said
that he wouldn't necessarily have to use them, but, he
needed to know what the enemy was capable of doing and how
to be preemptive and counterattack. She said that the more
he knew about espionage, cyber warfare, organized and
white collar crime, the better he would be protected and
able to expose and stop his enemies and help other people.
She told him how hard it would be to stay clean and

avoid being mixed up in criminal behavior if he didn't
understand how it worked, where to find it, and what it
looks like when it comes offering help or gifts. Her most
important advice was to always do your homework before you
get involved or commit to anything. Read and don't depend
738
on other people to inform you. Don't micromanage, but,

don't be too lazy to research and check things out for
yourself.
Stay away from women, she warned and explained how her
father basically used her to entice men he wanted to do
business with. Sometimes she felt like a glorified whore.
Hal thought about Natalie Tiledeler who practically threw
herself at him.
They talked into the wee hours of the night. Tanya

would take short naps then wake up and continue. Zenobia
came in to check on her and give her medications, but, she
didn't once tell her to rest. Instead, she tried to make
her more comfortable to continue and had attendants bring
in a reclining chair for Hal to stay there throughout the
night.
Hal, woke up the next morning in the reclining chair,

stiff and achy. Sunlight was peaking through the curtains
and shining directly in his eyes. He put his hand up to
his eyes to block the blinding light.
"He's awake now. The boy sleeps hard. He always has. I

had to holler in his ear to wake him up for school. The
first thing he needs to learn is to stay alert. People
could walk in and steal everything he has and he'd still
be sleeping."
Still blocking his eyes, Hal, looked over to the other

side of Tanya's bed at his father seated in his
wheelchair.
"Dad? What are you doing here?"
739
"I came to talk to my aunt. What does it look like? I

woke up and you never came in your room, so, I went to
look for you and found you in here. Me and Tanya have been
talking. She's been telling me things about our family,
the Graves Family.
It seems that we have something in common."
"And what would that be, Dad?"
"We both love you and think the world of you. And, we
both don't want anything to happen to you, so, listen to
everything your aunt tells you and don't give her any
grief. I'm going to find the lovely Zenobia and have
breakfast. Goodbye, Aunt Tanya."
Not looking back, David Siegfried, Jr. wheeled himself

to the door. Hal couldn't believe his ears. Was he still
dreaming? He got up from the chair to follow his father.
"Dad?"
"Go on, son. I'm busy, now. I..I've...I've g-got things

to do.
Hal could hear the stress in his father's voice. He

sounded as if he was on the verge of crying. Hal tried to
follow him.
"NO, Hal!"
740
Hal stopped, shaken by his father's forceful command

and feeling hurt and wounded that his father wouldn't
allow him to go to him and comfort him.
"I told you to stay here with your aunt and take care
of business. It's time for you to be the man of this
family. I'll have room service bring you some breakfast."
Hal wondered what Tanya and his father had been talking
about, what had changed his mind about Tanya, and what was
so upsetting that he wanted to be left alone. He went back
to sit down. Tanya refused to comment and resumed her
lessons.
She told Hal about the people and banks they had used
to launder money and how money laundering worked. Then,
she continued with her list of "How To's, Do's and
Don'ts."
• How her father had avoided paying taxes and paying for
practically everything.
• How to tap into hidden money the government doesn't
know about.
• Surrounding yourself with the type of needy and
ambitious people you can control.
• Using the weaknesses and needs of others to your
advantage.
She gave Hal a profile of members of the Graves Family,

pinpointing Derek Graves as the self-proclaimed leader of
the family. She wanted Hal to know:
741
• Who Derek Graves does business with.

• Where he is most vulnerable.
• Who to go to on Wall Street to fight Derek Graves
financially.
• Derek Graves' enemies and allies.
• Who Hal could depend upon for political allies.
"Derek is smart, Hal. The problem is he's just like my

father and he thinks that he's smarter than anyone else,
but, he's not as smart as you. He'll make the same
mistakes that my father did, if you attack his pride."
Tanya continued with the subject of corporate and

international espionage.
• How to turn people into spies.

• How to pay foreign governments to do your dirty work
for you to avoid getting caught, prosecuted and
indicted.
• Keeping up with international affairs
• Making deals to avoid conflicts with governments
• Avoiding regulations, fees, licenses and taxes
Tanya had the names of Russian hackers capable of

breaking through Cyber-Warp, a technology that surpassed
the internet and used mainly by governments, the military,
banks and huge multinational corporations. She knew former
government spies and corporate spies. She had lawyers to
work on every type of crime that she could possibly face.
She knew loopholes, back doors, organized crime bosses,
and the descendants of oligarchs.
742
She explained how Putin really wasn't that much of a

complicated guy or great leader. He just used the same
tactics in everything he did with different actors,
claiming supreme authority wherever he went. His main
tactic was denial of any wrong doing and money to corrupt
those around him. He was a one trick pony with a lot of
sparkle and dazzle to blind everyone while he had other
people rob them; sort of like Jack the Ripper meets the
Artful Dodger.
"People use the same strategy in business takeovers and

competition as they do in battle, Hal, minus the bullets,
bombs and grenades, in most cases. However, the money to
keep wars going can be traced back to business deals. Each
battle is working towards the same goal, which is to take
over and come out on top. The damage that can be inflicted
upon you from a rival can be just as damaging to your
business in collateral damage. If you're going into
political or business war, you need to be equipped,
heavily armed, and financially secure. The same holds true
in war and espionage. You need to know your enemy's
strength, allies, and intentions. Follow the money to the
top. Tell your chief executive officers to batten down the
hatches and man all battle stations."
Hal told his aunt how the board members at Miriam's

companies had treated him. Her response was:
"You've got to walk in there like you own the place,

Hal. Throw your weight around. Fire somebody on the spot
and call for security."
"That sounds like your father."
743
"It works if you don't overly use it, Hal. Just to let
them know who's boss. Then, once you've established
yourself, gained their respect, and they see that you're
not backing down, you can ease up a little. It's just part
of human nature. We can be like animals in the wild when
it comes to challenging power and authority.
I've left everything you need to know to finish your

book in a safe deposit box, along with my memoirs Mir-
Miriam worked on. It will all be left to you in my will.
There is a list of names and contacts to get you started
in handling my affairs and businesses. Darla will stay
with you, but, she has to work independently. I guess
you've seen first hand that she doesn't work or play well
with others. Keep her as your secretary. You'll find your
director of affairs and personal assistant in due time.
I've brought Steve and Jake up to speed on what's going

on. They know who you are. I can trust them and so can
you. Steve's family goes way back to my days in the White
House. His great-grandfather was part of our security team
and his father came to work for us afterward. No need to
question their loyalty or their intentions. It was
wonderful what you did to get them started with their
business. If I had known, I would have done the same
thing.
Anyway, Steve and Jake are with us. They know how
serious and dangerous things already are. They don't like
what happened to Miriam and Arturo. They said that it
makes them look bad. If they need to act, they'll act.
They already feel beholden to you and they respect you.
Don't be afraid to use them. They're used to taking risks.
They're decorated Marines and two of America's finest.
We're blessed to have them with us.
744
I've talked enough now, but, there's one more thing I

have to say. I'm ashamed of what my father did to your
great-grandmother. I'm ashamed of how me and my family
have treated people of color. I pray that God forgives me.
Please pray for me, Hal. My father was around Black
people,Hispanics, and Muslims, but, as much as he was
around them, he still could never see them as equals. All
the hate and ignorance within him blocked out true love
and any rational since of humanity. He may have fooled
other people, but, he never fooled me. I saw and heard how
dark and hardened his heart was.
I want you to know that I am proud of you and honored

to have known you and to have you as my nephew. I wish I
could have been there to be the aunt that I should have
been when you were growing up, making your father proud.
I'm so sorry that I wasn't. I'm so sorry to leave you at a
time when your world is turned upside down and in chaos. I
wish I could remain here to see you make a lasting mark
upon the world. But, I can leave here knowing that you
will and that's more than I could have ever asked for. You
are a remarkable young man, Hal Siegfried Graves and don't
ever forget it."
With tears streaming down his face, Hal grabbed Tanya's

hand and held it in his.
"Grandpa Siegfried used to say, "God has already

forgiven us, but, we take forever to forgive ourselves. We
beat up on ourselves, driving ourselves into depression,
anxiety, drugs and all types of problems.
Auntie Tanya, you've got to know that God has already

forgiven you and it's time to forgive yourself for all
that happened in your life. Everything has a beginning.
Sometimes, it doesn't even begin with us. God allows us to
745
experience things to open our eyes to who we should be and

that's what's important.
You know who you should be now and nobody or nothing

that has happened in the past can take that away from you.
You can be thankful for having opened your eyes to the
Truth and trying to do something to make the future
better. No, we can't go back and correct the past, but, we
don't have to go on wallowing in the same mud and being
stuck in the same pit.
Obviously, from what you've told me and just taught me,

you've done and learned some pretty bad things. But, I can
see that you've changed, Auntie Tanya. I know that my
father can see it, too, or he wouldn't have spoken of you
like he did and called you Aunt Tanya. You have to realize
that you have changed and you are worthy because of
Christ. Forgive yourself, and claim your abundant and
eternal life. God is always reaching His hand out to us.
He's just waiting for us to grab hold of it."
"Spoken like a true preacher's grandson. Your grandpa

would be pleased"
"Auntie Tanya, it's been my privilege being here and

getting to know you. You have changed my life in more ways
than one. Now, I have to really look at myself and the
direction I want to take my life. I can't point a finger
at others or be a hypocrite. It's my turn to tow the line
and see how far I can get when there's resistance,
pressure and temptation on the other end.
You've helped me learn a lot about being Black and

White. Most of the time, I don't think in terms of the
color of someone's skin. I know that people consider me to
746
be Black although I'm biracial, but, I know who I am now

and who I want to continue being.
I'll miss you, Auntie Tanya."
Hal laid his head on the bed next to Tanya. She

squeezed his hand and then wiped his tears away.
"I'll miss you, too, Hal."
Hal, had fallen asleep with his head lying on the bed.
During the night, he woke up, covered Tanya and laid all
the way back in the recliner chair with a blanket.
The sunlight peaked through the curtain to announce the

start of a new day. Muffled sounds caused Hal to toss and
turn in the recliner chair, forcing it to push him
upright. Shielding his eyes from the sun, he could see,
Zenobia standing over Tanya's bed. She looked like she was
in distress. He felt a presence beside him. It was his
father in his wheelchair covering his face as his
shoulders moved up and down. The sounds became louder into
audible sobs of grief and misery. Hal reached out for his
father. His father pulled him down to him and cried out.
"She's gone, son!"
Hal looked at Tanya, fell to his knees and holding on

to his father, cried in his father's lap.
747
Intermittent Waves Recorded From The

Transformed Heart Of A Woman
Episode 25
Part 5
748
Intermittent Waves Recorded From The Transformed Heart

Of A Woman
Episode 25
Part 5
Just as the funeral service was about to begin, a well-

groomed older gentleman was ushered down the aisle,
escorted by a man wearing a white medical uniform. He was
seated in the same row as Miriam's two sons, who
immediately took offense and tried their best to ignore
him. Who else could it be, thought Hal, other than their
mentally disabled brother and his attendant from the
institution? Obviously, they were embarrassed of their
brother, who was glad to see them, and tried to chat with
them in spite of their trying to disassociate themselves
from him.
"Typical," Natalie whispered to Hal. "You know that

President Graves made fun of people who were disabled and
challenged. Being a jerk is a family trait."
"Sssh!"
Darla, who heard Natalie's loud whispering, as did

probably everyone else, didn't seem to appreciate the
comment and shushed Natalie.
Natalie whipped her head around and gave her an evil

eye. Hal began to have deep concerns about working with
Natalie Tiledeler in the future. She was ambitious, but,
749
she was far beyond being able to be controlled.
The service was seamless, solemn, and beautiful. Any

details that Miriam had left out, Darla had inserted,
while polishing everything off to her liking. Along with
being extremely efficient, Darla had good taste.
After the funeral service, Hal and his entourage

followed the family out. As Hal, neared the door, he could
see red and blue police car lights flashing. Six police
cars lined the left side of the road, with two unmarked
police cars. Lieutenant Hamilton got out of one of the
unmarked cars. They grabbed a man out of the line and
started reading him his rights.
"Who's that man?," Hal asked Vince and Martin. They

both shook their heads no, signifying that they had no
idea.
"Oh, he works for Miriam's brother, Richard Graves,

said Natalie. "His name is Dudley, Pudley, or
Rudley...something like that. I know just about everybody
from hanging around daddy's newspaper and helping to host
his parties."
Richard Graves, Hal knew that name, from Miriam when

they had discussed the late night visitor. Richard Graves
had been the man in Miriam's room. But, would he conspire
to kill his own sister? Maybe, for money. But, was it
because of the money that she had decided to give to Hal,
or money that belonged to someone else?
Hal realized that he had a lot to learn about the

behavior of the Graves' Family and who worked for them.
750
Perhaps, just perhaps, Miriam led him to Natalie Tiledeler

for more than one reason.
Lieutenant Hamilton was talking to another man, who was

flanked by Derek Graves. Hal's mind was turning. At the
police station, the Lieutenant had asked him about Richard
Graves' conversation with Miriam that night and if he had
heard any threats. He told him no. From what he had heard,
no threats had been made. Could this man have been working
for Richard and Derek Graves without Richard's knowledge,
or did he work for someone outside of the Graves' Family?
Hal made a mental note to call Lieutenant Hamilton to see
if he could get more information, that is, if the
Lieutenant was willing to share.
Hal wondered why the Lieutenant would interrupt the

funeral to make an arrest. Why so many cars? Was he being
intimidating, trying to send a message, or was he testing
out the reactions of other people who might be involved?
Hal was having trouble focusing on where his bodyguards
were trying to take him and what Natalie was trying to
tell him. Apparently, she had been asking to ride with
him, because, when the limousine pulled up, she climbed
right in with Vince and Martin. As she got in the
limousine, Natalie chattered on unceasingly. Her last
sentence caught Hal's attention and he began to pay
attention.
"I can have someone at the paper cover this story and
find out more information for you, Hal."
Hal knew he needed more sources of information and a

reporter outside of The Daily, besides himself, to do the
ground work. He definitely didn't want to involve Rachel,
although, she'd probably get wind of this news soon enough
and start sniffing around, but, he wanted to stay ahead of
751
her. Hopefully, he could foresee anything dangerous and

protect her.
"Sure, Natalie, that would be a good idea. Let's get a

jump on this story. It's time to put your father's
newspaper back in the race and hopefully in first place."
Natalie threw her arms around Hal and gave him a kiss,
then, with a big wide grin on her face, she grabbed her
cellphone and began making calls.
752
Episode 26
AUNTIE YONNY: AGAINST MY WILL
753

Episode 26
AUNTIE YONNY: AGAINST MY WILL
Mr. Wellington began the reading of Miriam Barrett's

will as if he were officiating over a wedding. He had
placed a large portrait of Miriam beside his desk
surrounded by flowers.
Hal brought Steve and Jake into the office and they
each sat on one side of him. The air in the room to those
who did not wish to share it with one another was tense
and stifling.
Miriam's two sons Conner Barrett and Everett Barrett,

Jr., grandchildren, and brothers, Richard Graves and
William Graves, stared at Hal, loathsomely. Hal pictured a
neon sign hanging over their heads flashing, "IF LOOKS
COULD KILL."
"We are gathered here today, family and friends, in the

sight of witnesses to ceremoniously disclose the love and
remembrance of Miriam D. Graves-Barrett. It is with great
honor that I deliver the words of a great woman I
extremely admired and respected. She will be missed by all
who knew and loved her.
I thank you all for gathering here today to pay respect

to her last requests and wishes. Miriam Barrett was a
754
woman of great passion and compassion..."
As Theodore Wellington went on and on about Miriam, Hal

began to have questions about Miriam and Theodore's
personal relationship. He didn't know if this was Theodore
Wellington's usual method of delivery in carrying out the
reading of his client's wills, but, he appeared to be a
little bit too grieved and deeply enthralled with Miriam's
passions.
"...and so finally, we come to the reading of my

dearest, uh...our dearest, deceased beloved's last words.
I will bypass the legal jargon to get to the crux of the
matter.
To my sons Conner and Everett Jr. I bequeath their

father's two renewable energy businesses. You are to work
together to run the algal biofuel, solar, and windmill
corporations that your father built into successful
multinational conglomerates. I pray that you forgive me
for not being a stronger person to shield you and prevent
the harm inflicted upon you by your callous and
insensitive father. He became a cold-hardhearted,
workaholic driven by money and power. Due to his influence
and that of the Graves Family, you both have become like
him, except for the fact that neither of you are in danger
of becoming workaholics. I pray that you take a good look
at yourselves. Your wives didn't divorce you for no
reason. Still, you are my children, and as a mother, I
love you and pray for that which I know you can become if
you humble yourselves.
I have left each of my grandchildren a considerable

amount of money, in hope that you will stay out of their
lives and allow them to develop into decent human beings.
755
To my brothers, Richard and William, I leave my love.

Although, you failed to give me yours, I remember our
childhood together before money and the Graves' name
became your god. As both of our parents left their
children well off. I would not think you would be so
greedy to want my money, too, to the point of wishing me
harm. For so long, I have tried to find it in my heart to
forgive you. Now, I can thank God that His love conquers
all.
To Teddy, ummm, we don't have to read that aloud.
To Hal Siegfried. You are a bright and caring young

man. You will figure it out.
Mr. Wellington went on to read the amount of money left

to each individual.
Richard and William Graves, then got up and walked out.

The grandchildren were delighted and left planning what
they would do first with their money. Conner Barrett and
Everett Barrett Jr. lingered behind, then, Everett Jr.
arose and handed Theodore Wellington a legal packet.
"We had this drawn up by our attorneys. We are

contesting the will on the grounds stated within this
legal document. We will see you in court."
After they left, Theodore Wellington picked up his

glasses and put them on, placing them down on the tip of
his nose, he opened the packet and began to read, skipping
down to the most important parts.
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Reasons for contesting the will:

1.testamentary capacity;
2.lack of knowledge and approval;
3.undue influence;
4.rectification and construction claim
There was a personal statement from Conner Barrett and

Everett Barrett Jr.
Mr. Wellington glanced up at Hal, who was waiting

patiently, then, looked down his nose and read aloud:
"Our mother, Miriam Barrett, was incompetent and forced

to leave the bulk of her estate to Hal Siegfried and not
to her sons. Due to the incompetence and negligence of our
mother's attorney, Theodore Wellington, who allowed her to
be influenced by Mr. Siegfried to change her will, we have
been wronged and demand rectification.
Mr. Wellington was romantically involved with our

mother, and able to persuade her to act on Mr. Siegfried's
behalf. We believe the two to have worked together to
swindle our mother out of her estate. Mr. Wellington did
not act in our mother's best interests and was not
qualified to draw up her will.
We know that our mother in her state of mind was not

able to fully acknowledge and approve of what Mr.
Wellington put in her will. Therefore, we conclude that
the will was not properly constructed, thus, under these
conditions, the will does not follow the state's laws for
valid wills."
757
Theodore Wellington removed his spectacles, looked at

Hal and said:
"Just as we expected."
******************************************************
With Miriam and Tanya gone, Hal felt the weight of the
world upon his shoulders. Everyone around him seemed to be
falling apart, except for Steve, Jake, and their military
crew. Having fought numerous battles and lived through the
devastation of war, they were probably used to seeing
people close to them and around them come and go under
distressing circumstances. Watching them and their fellow
Marines working together was like watching a well-oiled
machine. They had an inseparable bond and a silent code
they lived and breathed by that kept them going, no matter
what. Death and suffering had taken away their innocence,
but, because of who they were, it had been replaced with
something more effective and lasting. They treasured life
and that which made it worth living, and even more, they
treasured one another. Their friendship defined
brotherhood and their actions proved it.
Hal knew that it was up to him to hold everything and

everybody together. Steve, Jake, and the rest of the
Marines were his backbone. He not only looked to them for
safety and security, he looked to their example as
leaders, protectors, and men.
Hal resisted the temptation to fall back into the

comfort of leaning upon his father and wanting to crawl
into his lap and be consoled. It was time for him to take
758
care of his father while protecting and consoling him. To

his surprise, his father had taken Tanya's death hard also
and gone into silent mourning for a woman he barely knew.
Hal still wondered what his father and Auntie Tanya had
discussed before his aunt's passing on.
Darla had sunk into deep depression and had taken a few
days off, although, she continued to work from home. Hal
doubted if Darla ever stopped working. Work probably kept
her going and kept her mind off of things in her life she
couldn't control, which reminded Hal that uncontrollable
things were infinite in number.
He would pass Zenobia's room and hear her crying at

night. It was painful for him to listen to her cry night
after night. He was always tempted to knock on the door,
then, go in and comfort her, but, he thought it would be
inappropriate.
Karen, the new assistant was doing the best she could
to keep up with business matters and help with Tanya's
funeral arrangements. Hal tried not to pressure her, since
she had been thrust into the chaos that threatened to
consume everyone.
Seeing practically everyone else grieving and depressed

was depressing for Hal. He walked past Tanya's room and
decided just to look in for a moment. He didn't know why.
Maybe he just needed to remember. Seeing the empty room
was depressing. The entire atmosphere of the hospital was
depressing, Hal thought, which made him think of leaving
and taking everyone in the penthouse with him. He would
ask Zenobia in the morning if his father could be
discharged from the hospital and if she would continue as
his live-in nurse.
759
He would tell Karen to contact the staff at Miriam's

mansion and have them prepare the rooms for their arrival,
which would be as soon as possible. He would have his
bodyguards living there, and Steve and Jake could stay
there also, if they desired to do so. He had grown to love
and feel responsible for these people and wanted to make
them happy.
"Everyone needs a change of environment," he said to

himself. "or, we'll all go crazy."
On the way back down the hall, he passed Zenobia's room

again and she was sobbing. Hal's heart wrenched and he
felt helpless for not being able to stop her tears.
"She likes tea," he thought. "I'll go get her some

tea."
On his way to the dining hall, his phone rang. It was

Rachel. Hal hesitated to answer, not being prepared if she
asked any detailed questions. But, he couldn't fight the
urge to hear Rachel's voice. In the midst of the sorrow
and grief around him, he needed a bright spot in his life.
"Hello Rache!"
"Hi, Hal. I'm sorry to hear about Tanya Yanovich. Are

you alright over there? How's your father doing now?"
"Thanks, Rache. I'm okay and Dad is doing much better

now. I'm thinking of leaving the hospital soon. With
Au..with umm...you know, Tanya and Miriam gone it's really
760
depressing. Dad's getting better, so there's no use in

staying here any longer."
"Can I come up and see you, Hal?"
"Come up and see me? Where are you Rache?"
"I'm down in the lobby. I thought I'd take a risk and

see if you would let me come up. I really want to see you,
Hal."
Hal, started to run towards his room and dropped his

phone. Rachel was still on the line when he picked the
phone up."
"Hal? Hal?"
"Uh...I'm sorry, Rache. I dropped my phone."
"Did you hear what I said Hal? I'm down..."
"Yeah, I heard you, but, uh, I..."
"Can I come up, Hal?"
"Yes, Rache, do you want me to come down and get you?"
"No, Hal, I can come up by myself (giggle). You've got

the whole top floor. It's not like I can get lost. I'll be
right there, if you'll call down to security and clear it
761
with them."
Hal called security from his bedside phone and gave his
clearance code to the guard. Then, he started picking up
clothes and things he normally left for the maid to do in
the morning. He decided that he'd really gotten dependent
upon her cleaning up after him and he needed to stop
taking advantage of her. Rachel had a long ride up, so he
had a minute or two.
Soon, he heard commotion down the hallway. He had

forgotten to tell the night security guards that Rachel
was coming up. After kicking a few things under the bed,
he ran down the hall to apologize to Rachel and the
security guards for neglecting to notify them of her
arrival. Then, taking Rachel by the arm, he led her to his
room.
"Are you okay, Rache?"
"Am I okay? You're the one who's jumpy and sweating.

What's going on?"
"Nothing, I just wasn't expecting you...uh...that's

all."
"I'm sorry, Hal, but, I just couldn't stay away. You're

not mad at me, are you?"
"No, Rache. It would be hard for me to ever be mad at

you or stay mad at you."
"Aren't you sweet. Do you have anything to eat? I
762
haven't had dinner yet and I just had a little lunch while
I worked."
"Yeah, the chef always leaves something for us in case

we get hungry at night."
"Woohoo, listen to you...the chef always leaves

something..."
"I know, it sounds crazy to me sometimes, too. I still

haven't gotten use to everything."
"You've got a LOT of explaining to do Hal Siegfried,

but, feed me first."
Hal took Rachel down to the dining hall and the two of
them grabbed leftovers from the refrigerator. After,
warming the food up and grabbing a couple of sodas, they
went out onto the rooftop to eat. Rachel ate ravenously,
enjoying every bite. Talking with her mouth full, she
expressed how much she loved the food.
"Wow, Hal! I'm glad I didn't eat much today. This is

better than a five star restaurant and the view out here
is fantastic! You can see the entire city!"
"Yeah, it's pretty awesome, isn't it, but, I'm ready to

get out of here."
"Where are you going? Which house have you chosen, Mr.
Siegfried, since you've come a billionaire?"
763
The way Rachel teased him about it, Hal was embarrassed
and ashamed.
"Rache, there's a lot that I need to tell you, but, I

can't tell you right now. I need you to trust me, please.
Will you do that? Just trust me for now."
Feeling left out and hurt Rachel got up and went to the
telescope at the corner of the roof to gaze up at the
stars. Hal came up behind her and scooped her up into his
arms, kissing her passionately. Rachel knew where this was
leading and had promised herself that she wouldn't let it
happen. She didn't want anything to come between her
relationship with God. However, her flesh was feeling
weak. She needed Hal and wanted Hal more than anything at
that moment. Her desire struggled against her will to
please God.
Hal carried her to the rooftop's sunken pit, a

luxuriously padded seating area surrounding a waterfall.
There, the two became lost between love, lust, and the
twinkling stars of the night.
764
Episode 27
AUNTIE YONNY: THE PRISON YEARS
765

Episode 27
AUNTIE YONNY: THE PRISON YEARS
Derek Graves, by choice was still a bachelor, although,

he had been advised to get married before he started
campaigning to make him look more stable, conventional,
and family oriented, as a presidential candidate. He was a
handsome man and he knew it. With wealth, status, and
looks, he was confident in his ability to get anyone he
wanted, when he was ready. If someone would have told him
that he was in bondage, a prisoner to sin, he would have
laughed in their face.
Meanwhile, he used women the same way he used the stock

exchange--wisely and frequently, making sure he always
profited and got his money's worth. He was always on the
lookout for new stock for his portfolio and his eyes never
failed to spot a prime investment. Needless to say, Derek,
never let anything stand in his way when opportunity
presented itself, not even at Miriam's funeral.
If she would not have been at Miriam's funeral,

perhaps, just perhaps, things might have worked out
differently. But, Rachel was a good reporter who never let
anything stand in her way when opportunity presented
itself. So, there was Rachel, standing in the crowd of
reporters, working her way towards Derek Graves. Her hair
was tousled from the wind and her face showed sheer
determination, but, Derek could tell that she was prime
stock.
766
He asked one of the other reporters, "Who's that red-

headed reporter coming this way?"
"That's Rachel Montgomery from The Daily."
******************************************************
Rachel never felt the chains of bondage when they were

placed around her. She just woke up lying next to Hal in
his bed. It was hard for her to remember when, but,
sometime during the night, they had taken a break, went
inside, and climbed into bed. She was still feeling
groggy, but, she knew that she had to get up and get to
The Daily bright and early to stay on top of the morning
news. She slid out from under Hal's arm, without rousing
him from his sleep. She quickly showered and hoped she had
time to go home and change clothes.
Climbing into the warm shower, she held onto the

memories of last night. What she felt with Hal had been
sheer ecstasy. Then, she remembered, that her usual
routine in the morning was to pray and read a scripture.
But, she loved Hal.
She began to pray and tears began to stream down her

face. Sinking to the floor of the shower, she leaned
against the shower wall, with her knees drawn tightly to
her chest. She rested her head upon her knees hugging her
legs tightly, angry at herself for giving into her flesh,
but, at the same time, cherishing the feelings she had for
Hal and what they had experienced together.
767
She was conflicted and experiencing feelings of shame

and guilt that she knew were not of God. She knew that she
wouldn't be having these feelings if she had acted as a
child of God and followed His Will and Way. She knew that
she didn't want to go on feeling this way, but, she loved
Hal.
Throughout her suffering, the questions remained in her

mind, "Would she continue to put her love for Hal above
her love for God? With Hal keeping her at bay and out of
his life, how could she love both of them the right way?"
She heard a voice within her telling her that if she

really loved Hal, she would obey God and wait. She didn't
want to wait. She needed and wanted Hal, now. She thought
about Natalie Tiledeler making moves on Hal and continued
to agonize over being with Hal intimately. Was she living
in fear? Would pleasing herself and Hal come before
pleasing God?
She asked herself if she could talk to Hal about her

feelings, without making him feel guilty and ashamed also.
Would he resent her? Would he resent making love to her?
Would she lose him?
Suddenly she realized that she was pressed for time.

Pulling herself off of the floor, she prayed and asked God
for forgiveness and strength. But, could she forgive
herself? Would she be strong enough to resist next time?
Perhaps, she should stay away from Hal, but, that's not
what she wanted.
Before, she could ask herself anymore questions, she
768
hurried to finish her shower, dried off, got dressed, left

Hal a note, kissed his cheek and hurried to get to the
elevator. There was no time to stop home for fresh
clothes. She'd have to go straight to The Daily. Of
course, much to her dismay, she knew that throughout the
day, she would be repeatedly asked by someone who
remembered that she was wearing the same clothes from the
day before, if she had stayed and worked all night.
Rachel walked into her office and sat at her desk.

Lying in the middle of her desk was a memo from her boss.
It read:
"Rachel,
Tiledeler's old newspaper, The Tribune, has had the

lead story for about a week now. Your boy, Hal, is acting
as editor and trying to put us out of business. I thought
he was going to be working for us, not against us. We're
in a tough and rare business in this day and age. Keeping
up or running a close tie won't do it. You said you didn't
want to be stuck behind a desk, so, get out there and put
us back on top.
Ed Haskins
Editor in Chief, The Daily"
Rachel wanted to scream. She had let her feelings for

Hal catch her off guard and interfere with her work.
"How could Hal do this to me," she screamed inside of

herself, "and...and..with that prissy Tiledeler girl, that
769
vixen...that controlling Jezebel...who...? AAAH!!! "Is

this one of the things he's not man enough to tell me
about?"
Then, taking a deep breath to calm herself, she started

to pray. After five minutes of prayer she felt better. On
her desk was a calendar with daily scriptures. She read
the scripture for the day.
Philippians 4:13(KJV)
I can do all things through Christ which

strengtheneth me.
Then, it came to her. There was a story that she could

get that the Tribune couldn't. She opened her top desk
drawer and pulled out the business card Derek Graves had
given her, promising a private interview. "I'll give you a
story, Ed, and Tiledeler's Tribune will eat dirt, when I
fly past them and leave them in the dust."
******************************************************
Hal awoke expecting to find Rachel beside him, but, she

was gone. He could smell her scent on the pillow she had
slept on. He grabbed it and the note on top of it which
read:
"We didn't do much talking. lol Hope to talk to you

tonight. I love you, Hal"
770
Hal hugged the pillow, that smelled of Rachel's

fragrance remembering the night they had spent together.
He wished that Rachel could be beside him every night.
He turned on the television to hear the news just in

time to catch a short documentary on Willard Graves. He
opened the door to get the morning paper off of the floor
and saw a huge spread on Willard Graves, entitled, "THE
PRISON YEARS."
Tanya had told him very little about her father and
husband going to prison, except that it was hard on them
both. She was able to get probation, and later her father,
due to his illness, was given a commutation of his
sentence, which allowed him an early release and the
ability to spend his remaining days in hospice with his
family.
The article in The Daily newspaper read as follows:
Today, we remember the sentencing of impeached

President Willard Graves. Below are two articles
The Daily published about his entering the penal
system.
by Stanley Allerman, The Daily, September 6, 2019
Willard Graves is due to start his sentence in

federal prison by the end of September, 2019.
Federal prosecutors have not disclosed the location
of the prison where he will serve out his time.
Graves was sentenced on July 15, 2019, after
771
lengthy hearings in Congress and a grand jury.

Former President Graves, who was impeached and
arrested on June 14, 2018, was indicted on 22 state
and federal charges, which dealt with crimes
crossing state and international boarders. His
charges were reviewed by a federal grand jury
assembled by special prosecutor, Wheland Watermill.
His son-in-law and daughter are expected to join
him in incarceration after their sentencing in
October, 2019.
While, we suspect that Willard Graves will be

taken to one of the white-collar crime prisons,
prosecutors have long voiced their concern about
the inadequate security of a medium, low, or
minimum security prison facility. Prison
administrators and governors have expressed their
concern for retribution against Graves from fellow
inmates and outsiders having knowledge of Graves'
where-a-bouts.
Mayors and law enforcement authorities in cities

surrounding the prisons have expressed extreme
disapproval of bringing such a high profile
prisoner into their jurisdiction and fear that it
will cause civil unrest, which may result in
rioting, looting, property damage and loss of life.
All have adamantly protested taking on the
responsibility for Graves' safety and the added
expense to secure their cities.
Federal prosecutors have suggested housing the

prisoner in a military prison until a secure and
acceptable location can be arranged. Several
federal prisons are located on military bases,
however, there is no guarantee that one of these
lower security prison camps will be selected.
**********************************************************
772
by Nikki Hinesman, The Daily, September 2029
After serving ten years of a twenty-five year to

life sentence, Willard Graves' and his new
attorneys are continuing to try to have his
sentence lifted, claiming that, Wheland Watermill
and his team were biased and working for Democrats,
who instructed him to plant false evidence and paid
jurors to indict him. These statements have already
been proven false and the overwhelming evidence and
statements given by witnesses have more than proven
that Graves, along with others in his campaign
colluded with Russia to rig the 2016 election;
accepted Russian and other foreign contributions to
his campaign; money laundered; committed tax fraud;
obstructed justice; lied to Congress, the Special
Prosecutor and grand jury; and many other felonious
crimes.
Meanwhile, Graves' attorneys also claim that he

should be given parole for good behavior. However,
wardens in four prisons have said that Willard
Graves is less than a model prisoner. He continues
to lie to guards and has been removed from the
regular prison population because he instigates
fights among his inmates and has been blamed for
inciting at least two prison riots since his stay.
He has been moved from prison to prison, not only
for his protection, but for the protection of the
other inmates influenced by his behavior. Moving
Graves from prison to prison and preparing each of
these facilities has been at a tremendous cost to
taxpayers.
773
Guards at each institution where he has been

incarcerated state that Graves is a constant
complainer and expects special treatment and
attention. He was immediately banned from sending
messages on social internet sites due to their
highly inflammatory and deceptive content.
Early on, Graves requested visiting permits for

Vladimir Putin and other Heads of State, whom he
claimed were his close friends. To date, none of
them have come to visit him. His visitors have been
limited to his immediate family due to his breaking
prison rules and conspiring against the prisons and
the government. He has spread numerous lies to
outside authorities, complaining about treatment
and conditions within the prisons.
Reliable sources within the penal system state

that Willard Graves, has suffered frequent panic
attacks, anxiety and chronic depression. He suffers
from physical illnesses which are said to be
psychosomatic, therefore, he is treated with
psychotropic drugs to calm him and keep him quiet.
Golf is a pastime and luxury that the former

president most certainly misses. His typical day in
prison entails the following:
06:00 a.m........wake-up call, shower
07:00 a.m........breakfast
07:30 a.m........work duty
11:30 a.m........lunch
12:30 p.m........work duty
04:00 p.m........head count, mail call
774
05.00 p.m........dinner
06:00-10:00 p.m..free time
10:00 p.m........head count
11:00 p.m........lights out
In the past, Graves' attorneys have tried

numerous ways to get him transferred to a
psychiatric facility where he would be more
comfortable and have more liberties, claiming their
client is mentally unstable. Graves was even said
to sit on his bed texting on an invisible phone.
However, doctors soon discovered that it was just a
hoax. They are continuing to observe Graves and
psychiatrists are still arguing if Graves can be
diagnosed as legally insane.
Wardens have warned that allowing Graves' parole

would endanger the nation as he is still an iconic
figure to many people. Warden Zachary Keiler, his
current warden stated:
"Releasing Willard Graves upon the general

population today would be like letting a fox loose
in a hen house. Willard Graves is old, but, he's
still a danger to society. On the other hand, there
are people out there who would shoot him on sight
and millions of people who would look the other way
or protect the shooter. Either way, we're doing him
and the world a favor by keeping him locked up."
775
Episode 28
AUNTIE YONNY: I AM NOT HIM
776
Rachel was to meet Derek Graves in a well-known, highly

rated restaurant after work. She didn't mind, since she
had skipped lunch that day, but, was hoping that afterward
they could go somewhere quieter and more private where she
could interview him properly. Derek told her that they
could go to Graves Tower after dinner and finish the
interview.
Knowing the atmosphere and dress code of the

restaurant, Rachel knew that she had to go home and put on
something more appropriate. She had a form fitting,
spaghetti strap, black, cocktail dress that was perfect
for the occasion; not too dressy and not too casual.
Derek said that he was sending a car for her at six-

thirty, so she barely had time to put her hair up and
apply her make-up. She couldn't help feeling like royalty,
arriving in a chauffeur driven limousine, being escorted
to the door by the doorman and then, to Derek's table by
the maître d'.
Derek Graves stood up when he saw Rachel approaching

his table. He was looking dashing, as they say in the
movies and ready to pour on his charm. That night, he was
oozing with charm, especially for Rachel. Having had lots
of practice, Derek had polished his game and knew just how
to make a woman feel real special. Knowing how badly she
needed the story, Rachel, made no objections. The sting
from Hal's betrayal was still burning in the back of her
mind, so, she played right into Derek Graves' hands.
Derek stood with his arms stretched wide, waiting to

embrace her, smiling and shaking his head as in disbelief.
777
"Rachel, Rachel...you are...you are...stunning! I am

honored to be in the presence of such ravishing beauty.
Tell me anything that you desire tonight. Your wish is my
command."
"Thank you Mr. Graves."
"Oh, no, no, no, my dear. Call me Derek."
"Derek, thank you, and my wish is for a good story for

my newspaper."
"Anything, anything for you my dear. I'm all yours

tonight, but, let's start out with a tasty cocktail to wet
our lips and soothe our throats. What will you have, my
love?"
"Well...I...I..don't really drink a lot, just..."
"Then, just a virgin drink. I'll order for you. Just

wait, you'll love it. Waiter!"
"Okay, but, I am hungry. I worked through lunch..."
"Now, we can't have that. A lovely woman like you

shouldn't be working so hard. I'll have to talk to your
boss. Would you like to order now?"
"No, I mean yes, I'd like to order, but, please don't

talk to my boss."
778
The waiter came over and Derek ordered drinks and his
favorite dish for each of them, first asking if Rachel
liked seafood. She nodded politely.
"He's a slave-driving, son-of-a-gun, huh? Well, maybe

I'll be able to steal you away from a life of drudgery. A
woman like you should be put on a pedestal and worshiped."
"Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I love journalism.

It's just that I'm under the gun right now and..."
"You'll have to tell me all about it and let me help

you forget your misery and stress, but, tonight, let's
just celebrate our new friendship."
"I'd really like to get started on the interview."
"Fine, but no taping."
"Okay...uh...Could you tell me what inspired you to go

into politics, especially considering the history of your
family in politics?"
"I am the people's candidate. The people need me to

inspire them and this country to greatness."
"Isn't that the same line your great-grandfather used

to run on?"
"Yes, but, he didn't represent the majority of the

people, like I do. People see me as they want to become."
779
"And what would that be?"
Derek laughed.
"You are persistent and relentless, aren't you? I like

that."
"Well..."
"People see me as fearless. -Not afraid of what the

future holds. -Not afraid to take risks to get what I want
in life. America needs someone not afraid to lead it into
the future, prosperity, and domination."
"You sound like a dictator. Do you plan for the United

States to dominate other nations?"
"No, darling, you misunderstand. I plan for the United

States to dominate the global economy."
"Isn't that the same thing?"
The expression on Derek's face turned hard and cold as

he looked at Rachel. His tone was icy as he spoke to her.
"Let me get you just one small little drink to take the
edge off.
Before Rachel could object, Derek called for the waiter

who was already on his way with the drinks they had
780
ordered. He ordered a mixed drink for Rachel and asked the

waiter to bring out a light, white wine to go with the
meal.
"Come, dear, drink up."
Nervously, Rachel began to sip on her drink, which was

slightly sweet, fruity, and tangy. Derek was right, she
loved it.
"Let me tell you a little about myself, Rachel. Unlike

many of my relatives, I have worked hard to get to where I
am. Yes, I had money to help, but, I never left all of the
work to someone else. I like to know a business from the
bottom up.
Do I know about politics? Yes! Do I know about

legislating? Yes! How do I know? Because, I learn from
other's mistakes and I just don't sit on my money or my
behind.
I've spent some time on Capital Hill working with

politicians in all parties. Unlike Willard Graves, I've
studied the presidency and the balance of power between
the presidency, legislative and judicial branches.
I don't surround myself with Simon Says Idiots like my

great-grandfather did, who will say anything and do
anything I want them to do. I stick with the facts and
make them work for me. I don't need alternative facts,
LIES, as a tool and a weapon to protect me. I possess a
hard drive to succeed and the people around me are driven
hard to meet my standards of success.
781
Unlike my bumbling great-grandfather, I am articulate,

poised and sophisticated. I have studied the political
systems and problems of other countries, I speak four
languages and stay apprised of foreign affairs.
I don't have to berate people, go to war with the

media, my own party, the FBI, or any other government
agency. I don't blame other people for my mistakes and I
don't mind apologizing.
I don't have to lie about being a great deal maker,

hide my taxes, or beg for money from foreign governments.
Neither am I working as a foreign agent or a traitor to my
country. I have no ulterior motives to destroy our
government institutions, democracy, or to make myself
richer, give outrageous tax breaks to the rich, or use my
position to make business deals with national and
international businesses."
"So, what you're trying to say is that you're not

you're great-grandfather, Willard Graves?"
" Yes, exactly! I AM NOT HIM! I have realistic

expectations, sound ideology, and policies for myself, my
party, and the nation, based on hard data, not anything
concocted by some committee I've paid and sent out to
prove voter fraud or disprove climate change.
We're not making anything up as we go along and lying

to the people to cover it up. We have written policies and
members of congress ready to present bills to implement
our policies.
782
I care about the lives of others and don't see them as

disposable during war, just because I want to be a bully,
set off nuclear bombs, and look like a big man in
charge..."
Rachel had her head down writing as much as she could,

since Derek didn't want to be taped, but, suddenly, she
looked up at Derek and asked,
"And, what about race relations? This was a key issue

during your great-grandfather's administration."
"My dear, must we go down that dark, daaark alley?

Since the second civil war, white supremacist groups have
been categorized as terrorists."
"Yes, but, I'd still like to know where you stand on

race relations and the current amendment proposed to the
immigration bill?"
"I support what is best for the country."
"And, what would that be?"
"Here comes our food. I know that you're hungry. Let's

eat and finish later. Make sure you have some of your
tasty drink I ordered for you."
When they left the restaurant, Rachel was feeling woozy

from the drink Derek had encouraged her to keep drinking
and the wine during dinner. Her legs were weak and wobbly.
783
Derek and the doorman helped her into the limousine. Her
speech was slurred and she was having trouble keeping her
eyes open.
"Take me home, please, I'm not feeling well."
"Nonsense, Rachel, you're just a little tipsy, that's

all. You're not used to drinking. Don't you want to finish
the interview?"
"I've got to go to church tomorrow. I need to sleep."
"I'll take you to Graves Tower and you'll feel better

after a nap."
Rachel started laughing and pointing her finger at

Derek.
"No, I know what you want and you're not going to get
it. Take me home or let me out. I'll walk or catch a cab.
There goes a bus. STOP BUS DRIVER! I've got to get home
and give Hal a piece of my mind."
Derek was startled.
"Hal? Hal who?"
"Hal Siegfried. He used to work for me but he's a

traitor. He said he loved me, but, I don't believe him.
I'm going to tell him I don't want to see him anymore,
but, you've got to take me home first. Okay?"
784
"Okay, Rachel, I'll take you home. I'll call you

tomorrow and we can pick up where we left off."
"Okay, Erek, I mean Derek. You're a good guy, not like

Hal."
The limousine parked in front of Rachel's apartment

building. Rachel got out of the car and wobbled on her
legs and high heels. Then, she gave a big heave from her
throat and threw up all over the sidewalk.
Derek instructed his bodyguard to pick Rachel up and

carry her. Rachel was feeling too sick to put up any
struggle or to object. They found her keys and opened the
door to her apartment. Derek took her shoes off and his
bodyguard put her in the bed and covered her up.
As they left the building, Derek was giving orders to

his bodyguard.
"I want that women, followed. Put one of your guys on

her. I want to know where she goes, what she does, and
especially if she sees Hal Siegfried. Do a thorough back-
ground check on her and her family. See who she associates
with and what church she goes to. Let me know what she
likes, what she doesn't like, what she has and what she
doesn't have. I want to know everything about her. I want
that woman."
785
Episode 29
AUNTIE YONNY: WHAT A FELLOWSHIP
786

Episode 29
AUNTIE YONNY: WHAT A FELLOWSHIP
The next morning, Rachel woke up with her head swimming

and throbbing. As she swallowed, her mouth tasted awful.
She turned away from the window to avoid the bright
sunlight beaming through. As she turned, she saw the time
on her beside clock. It was ten o'clock. She had missed
prayer and group study and would be late for worship
service.
She sat up and covered her face, then, looked down at

her clothes, wondering why she was still dressed. She
couldn't remember when she had gotten into bed, but, the
awful taste in her mouth brought back an unwelcome memory.
She had thrown up. She remembered she was with Derek
Graves at the restaurant. Derek Graves...Derek Graves had
gotten her drunk. She hoped nothing else had happened.
Looking at her phone, she saw that she had ten calls
and three messages. Five of the calls and two of the
messages were from Hal. She groaned remembering she was
still angry about his betrayal. The other message was from
someone at the church wondering where she was. She played
Hal's voice messages.
"Hi, Rache, just giving you a call, hoping I can see

you tonight. Please call me back when you get a chance or
text me. Bye."
The next message sounded more desperate.
787
"Rachel, I haven't heard from you and I'm hoping

everything is alright. You must be real busy today. Man, I
really wanted to see you again tonight. Last night
was...whew...I don't know how to describe it. I'm still on
cloud nine. Please let me know that you're okay. (silence)
I..I really love you, Rachel. Bye."
Rachel threw the phone down on the bed and let out a
scream, then wished she hadn't. Holding her head, she
stood up and walked slowly to the bathroom to take a
shower and get ready for church. She pulled a black suit
and a wide-rim black hat out of her closet, thinking,
"I guess it's true. People dress how they feel and I
feel like death warmed over, if there is such a feeling."
After dressing, she looked in the mirror and noticed

her bloodshot eyes. So, she decided to wear black
sunglasses.
Rachel had been attending a modest little church not

far from her apartment complex since she moved to the
city. It was a small congregation, but, filled with people
with warm hearts. Everyone around her smiled when she
arrived, happy that she had been able to join them. They
were holding hands singing and reached out to grab her
hand to add her to the fellowship.
Somehow, Rachel felt unworthy and unclean. She knew she

had let them down and let herself down by succumbing to
her flesh. She kept her head down, hiding her face with
her hat.
788
After the song, they were about to sit down, when the
sanctuary doors opened. Rachel couldn't believe her eyes.
It was Derek Graves, guarded very carefully by two men.
People began to applaud to welcome him. Derek, charming

as usual, went around shaking everyone's hand and kissing
the children. The pastor began another song and everyone
joined in. Derek then moved beside Rachel and held her
hand, singing.
Pastor Allen then ended the singing and formally

welcomed Derek Graves.
"We are honored to have presidential candidate Mr.

Derek Graves in our midst today. Welcome, Mr. Graves.
Would you like to say anything?"
Derek stood tall sticking his chest out and walked to

the front of the sanctuary.
"Thank you, pastor. I am humbled in your presence. I

just want to thank God for being here this morning among
my brothers and sisters. As you know, I'm running for
president, but, in order to be a good president, I want to
get to know my constituents and their needs. So, what
better place to meet and get to know people than the
church?"
Everyone began to applaud. Derek smiled and nodded his

head in appreciation, then waved his hands to end the
applause.
"But..but,if it hadn't been for my good friend, Rachel
789
Montgomery, I might not have known about this wonderful

congregation here, so, I want to thank her for leading me
here."
Rachel put her head down as everyone began to look at

her and applaud. She couldn't remember telling Derek about
her church. Then, again, she couldn't remember a lot of
things from last night.
"I'm not here campaigning. I just want you to get to

know me, as I get to know you."
Derek took a seat beside Rachel on the pew and rested

his arm behind her. They looked very much like a couple.
She couldn't help feeling uncomfortable, but, she sat
there, not knowing what else to do.
During the following weeks, Rachel continued to see

Derek and ignored Hal's calls. It was nice going to church
with Derek and not being alone. Derek was always polite
and well-mannered. He didn't try to pressure her into sex
and only kissed her on the cheek. Now and then, he would
bring her a small gift that was perfect for her. He seemed
to know, just what she liked. Derek couldn't have been
happier. Rachel was making him look better and better in
the eye of the public and in the polls.
Rachel's story on Derek was outstanding and Derek

helped her to get more exclusive interviews with
celebrities and politicians. She, her work, and The Daily
were thriving and shining. After each column she wrote in
the paper, she was asked to come on several major network
news broadcasts to give a synopsis of her story and to
give her opinion on issues affecting the upcoming
election. But, when it came to the issue of the
790
immigration bill amendment, all Rachel could say was that

Derek Graves wanted what was best for the country. There
were times when she wanted to ask Derek how he really felt
about race and immigration, but, she didn't want to
pressure Derek on the subject and ruin their relationship.
791
Episode 30
AUNTIE YONNY: CONSEQUENCES
David Siegfried had gotten used to waking his son up in
792
the morning again and was about to knock on his son's

bedroom door, when the door suddenly flew open and a woman
bumped into him and fell into his face. He steadied the
wheelchair and held onto her until she regained her
balance.
"OWE!! OOOOH!"
"Are you alright ma'am?"
"Oooo...Y-yesss, I think so."
Rachel felt excruciating pain in her shins where her

legs had hit metal. Bending down and rubbing her legs, she
could tell there would be bruises.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't know Hal had company. Are you

sure you're alright?"
"Yes, thank you. It's not you're fault. I shouldn't

have been in such a hurry. You wouldn't have known I was
here. You were probably asleep when we came in from
outside late last night."
"I didn't know Hal had went out."
"Oh, no. He didn't. I came here to see him. We were out on

the rooftop."
"You want to go sit down and have the nurse check out
your legs?"
793
"Nooo, I don't have time."
"Forgive me for being rude. I'm David Siegfried, Hal's

father. And, you are?"
Rachel was still wincing and reeling from the pain.
"Rachel Montgomery, sir...uh...nice to meet you."
Rachel stuck out her hand and shook Hal's father's

hand.
"You must be the girlfriend Hal mentioned."
"Well...I-I uh, guess so. We used to work together at

The Daily. I was his boss, but, we dated before then,
before I was his boss, that is."
"I am pleased to meet you, Rachel. You are a beautiful

woman. Please come back so we can get to know one
another."
"Thank you, sir. Yes, I will. I'm sorry I can't stay. I

have to get to work and I don't have much time."
"I didn't mean to keep you. You go on, now. Don't be

late for work. Have a blessed day."
"Thank you. You too, sir...goodbye."
794
"Bye, Rachel."
As she hobbled towards the elevator, Rachel sighed and

shook her head. She was extremely embarrassed. What a way
to meet Hal's father for the first time, coming out of his
son's bedroom early in the morning and colliding with him.
David Siegfried watched Rachel get in the elevator,

then, returned to his room, shaking his head.
******************************************************
Rachel and Hal's father's first meeting had been

nothing other than disastrous. She told him she would be
back to visit, but, two days later, she left a message for
Hal, telling him that his working with the Tribune had
threatened to ruin The Daily and get her fired from her
job. Her last words had been that she didn't want to see
him again.
She hadn't seen him or his father in a little over

three months. Now, David Siegfried was standing in the
front line of the protesters at Derek's campaign rally, a
nurse on one side, behind his wheelchair and a bodyguard
on the other side, helping to hold him up, while he waved
his homemade sign and leaned upon his cane. Rachel knew it
was him. How could she forget that day and the night
before? It had changed her whole life.
Moving over to the protesters, Rachel decided to

interview Hal's father.
"Sir, I'm Rachel Montgomery from The Daily. I'd like to
795
get the perspective of some of the protesters. Would you

mind telling me why you're here today?"
David Siegfried didn't recognize Rachel at first. He

was too busy yelling with the rest of the protesters.
Then, he looked long and hard at Rachel.
"Rachel? Rachel? I remember you. You were coming out of

Hal's room."
Rachel hung her head.
"Yes sir, that was me."
"How are you doing Rachel?"
"I'm fine, sir. How's your son?"
"Oh, that big head is alright. I'm sorry things didn't

work out between you two."
"I guess it just wasn't meant to be. Can I interview

you for The Daily?"
"Sure, go right ahead."
"Tell me why you're out here protesting against Derek

Graves today? What issues...what issues..."
The man beside her had opened a bag and started eating
796
a salami sandwich. Rachel could feel herself getting more

and more nauseous until she couldn't hold it back. She ran
to a corner where no one was standing and began to
regurgitate until there was nothing else to throw up, only
dry heaves causing her to double over.
She turned around and standing behind her was David

Siegfried. He helped her stand up, looked her straight in
the eyes and asked,
"Is it Hal's?"
Rachel shook her head yes and broke down into tears.
Hal's father grabbed her and held her close, comforting
her. He didn't know what to say, but, being who he was, he
made light of the matter.
"Don't feel bad, Hal made his mother throw up, too. She
was sick all nine months. He just has that effect on
people. Sometimes, I just look at him and tell him, "Get
out of my face, boy. You make me sick."
Rachel tried to laugh, but, ended up crying again.

David Siegfried was coming unglued himself and about to
cry.
"It's not your fault, Rachel. This baby is probably a

chip off of the old block. Come on, honey. Let's go sit
down somewhere and I'll get you some ginger-ale to calm
your stomach."
Knowing he had plenty of ginger-ale and snacks stashed

in the limousine, he took Rachel into the limousine and
797
made the chauffeur, nurse, and bodyguard stand outside so

that he could talk privately with Rachel.
After drinking the soda, Rachel's stomach felt better,

but, she couldn't stop the tears from flowing from her
eyes. She was so embarrassed in front of Hal's father for
what she had allowed to happen. Watching her tremble, he
sensed her shame.
"Don't be embarrassed or ashamed, sweetheart. Don't let

the devil have the victory. Listen, God brings people into
this world. The devil can't create a thing. Now, if God
wants that baby to come into this world, it will come."
Nervously, he kept pulling out tissues and putting them

in Rachel's lap. Rachel grabbed the whole pile and buried
her face in them.
"Now, now, you're going to hurt yourself. Take some

deep breaths and lay your head down."
Rachel laid her head against his chest and began to

breathe deeply.
"I-I-I...j-j-just...w-wanted to love him."
"I know, baby. It's okay. God knows your heart. Shhh.
It's alright."
David held Rachel until she had calmed down.
"Now, listen, honey. I'm not going to let you go
798
through this by yourself. We're going to see that you have

everything you need. Have you been to the doctor? Is the
baby alright? Did he say you can keep working?"
Rachel nodded her head yes.
"Good, now we'll tell Hal..."
"NOOOO! I DON'T WANT HIM TO KNOW, YET!"
Rachel started howling and sobbing again. David wished

he hadn't mentioned Hal's name.
"Well, okay, honey, but, he's going to have to find out

sometime or another."
"I know. Please, just not today. Please let me tell

him. I will, but, not today."
"Sshh, I'm not going to force you. I'll keep my mouth

shut, but, the sooner you tell him the better you're going
to feel. You can't hold all of this inside of you. You'll
hurt yourself and the baby, too. Will you come to the
house tomorrow morning around ten? He'll be home then."
Rachel balled up the tissue and blew her nose.
"Okay, I'll come tomorrow. Are you going to be there?"
"Yes, dear. I'll be there to support you."
799
"Good. Thank you."
"Can we take you home now?"
"No, I'm working. I'll be alright."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, thank you, Mr. Siegfried."
Rachel got out of the limousine, put on sunglasses and

went back to interviewing protesters. David Siegfried
rolled down the window and told his caretakers that he was
ready to go home.
800
Episode 31
Part 1
AUNTIE YONNY: THE AGREEMENTS
801

Episode 31
Part 1
Instead of having his breakfast in bed, David Siegfried

got up, got dressed and asked to have his breakfast out on
the patio near the garden. He had been anxious since
talking to Rachel yesterday. At dinner, he hardly said a
word and did his best to avoid Hal before going to bed. It
took all that he had to contain himself. He spent most of
the time praying and talking to God, asking for strength
and praying for Rachel and the baby.
Zenobia had gotten another nurse to help her, so that

she would have some days off. He didn't know how or where
she spent them, but, she seemed much happier now that they
had moved to the mansion and she had more free time.
It was nearing ten o'clock and he anxiously awaited

Rachel's arrival. He'd hoped Hal would be out of his bed
and downstairs by now, but, he was sleeping late. He was
just about to go upstairs and check on him when the
doorbell rang. The maid beat him to the door.
Just as she was opening the door, Hal and Zenobia came
out on the mezzanine balcony, playfully hugging, kissing
and fondling one another. Hal was in his pajama bottoms
and Zenobia was in a revealing nightgown. When the door
opened, Rachel walked from the foyer into the great room
and looked straight up at the balcony. Hal's father
witnessed it all, but, Hal and Zenobia were locked in an
embrace, kissing. What he saw was sheer devastation in
802
Rachel's eyes. Before he could get to her, she turned and

ran back towards the door without looking back. He went
out after her, but, by the time he got to the door she was
in her car and taking off.
"Oh no, oh no! Father help her please. Protect her and
keep her safe on the road!"
Hearing his father, Hal called down to him.
"Dad, who was that?!"
"Uh...just a reporter son! Just a reporter!"
"Dad?! Dad?!"
"Coming, son!"
David went into the great room shaking his head and
praying. Hal and Zenobia were still on the balcony holding
hands.
"Dad, Zenobia and I have some great news for you. We're
pregnant and we're going to get married!"
"OH, LORD, JESUS!"
After he cried out, Hal's father reached into his shirt

pocket and pulled out his nitroglycerin tablets and popped
one under his tongue. Zenobia and Hal came running down
the stairs.
803
"MR. SIEGFRIED!"
"DAD, DAD, I'M SORRY! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?! ZENOBIA HELP

HIM!
Immediately, they put Hal's father into his wheelchair

and took the elevator up to his room, which had been
equipped with everything he needed for medical care.
Zenobia checked his vital signs and told him to rest. She
gave him another pill after five minutes and checked his
heart again.
"How are you feeling, Mr. Siegfried?"
"I'm fine, now, Zenobia. I've just had too much

excitement. The question is, how are you feeling and why
didn't you tell me about you and Hal?"
"I'm sorry, Mr. Siegfried, we just wanted to be sure.

We didn't want to disappoint you if it didn't work out.
When we moved here, I had no idea I would fall in love
with Hal. Yes, I cared for him a great deal, but, I didn't
want to get my hopes up. I knew he had someone else."
"Well, I'm happy for you and thank you for making me a
grandfather. Come here and give me a hug.
Congratulations!"
"Thank you, Mr. Siegfried. I'll leave you to rest now

and come back to check on you again."
804
"Okay, Zenobia. Thank you. Tell Hal I said

congratulations and I'll talk to him later."
"Alright."
David Siegfried waited until Zenobia was well down the

hallway before he got out of bed, put on his shoes and
slipped out the back door. He called Hal's chauffeur and
told him to pick him up at the end of the driveway. When
he got into the limousine, he looked up Rachel's number
from Hal's computer and called Rachel to apologize and ask
if they could meet.
**********************************************************
Derek had been having Rachel followed for months, so,

it was of no surprise to him when Rachel came to Graves
Tower crying in his arms. He knew that she was pregnant
with Hal's baby and that she had met with his father.
Before she arrived, he received a text message that she
had just come from Hal's house and was headed his way.
Rachel cried in Derek's arms and told him everything.

He pretended not to know, kissing her and comforting her.
"I...I didn't know where else to go. You've been so

good to me Derek. I'm sorry. I should have told you
sooner. I was so afraid. I was afraid you wouldn't want me
either. I'll understand if you tell me to go..."
Derek sat Rachel down on the sofa, reached inside of

his suit pocket and pulled out a small box. Then, he got
down on one knee, opened the box and looked at Rachel.
805
"Rachel Annalise Montgomery, you are my best friend and

I love you. Will you marry me?"
"I don't know what to say. Are you sure, Derek? Even
after what I told you? You want me and the baby?"
"Yes, I want you and the baby. Just say, yes."
Derek took the ring out of the box and began to slip it
onto Rachel's finger. It was the biggest diamond Rachel
had ever seen. She looked at her finger and then at Derek.
Grabbing his neck, kissing him, and crying in his arms,
she answered.
"YES, DEREK, YES!"
As they kissed and hugged, Rachel's phone rang.
"Go ahead and answer it Rachel. It might be The Daily."
Rachel picked up her phone and didn't recognize the

number.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Rachel. This is David Siegfried. Are you okay?"
"Yes."
806
"I'm so sorry for what happened this morning. I didn't

know about it either. Please, please, can we meet
somewhere and talk."
"Well, I'm busy now, but..."
"Please, Rachel, I promise I won't keep you long. I

just don't want the day to end like this. Please."
"Okay, give me about a half hour and I'll meet you at

Bridge Way Park, by the fountain."
Rachel hung up the phone, admired her ring, again, then

gave Derek a passionate kiss.
"I've got a story to cover, but, I'll be back tonight

to celebrate our engagement."
"I'll be waiting, darling."
**********************************************************
Derek removed his tie and shoes, then, leaning back on

the sofa, he took out his phone and made a call.
"Hello, cousin! What are you up to?...Me? I'm just

relaxing. My future wife just left...Yes, I gave her the
ring...Am I sure? Of course I'm sure, Everett. I couldn't
be more sure...It's going to be the wedding of the year
and boost my ratings in the polls, sending me straight to
the White House...You can't picture me married? Well, my
friend, make sure you take plenty of good pictures at the
807
wedding...
The baby? Well, if it comes out dark and kinky-headed it

will make me look all the better for having married a
pregnant woman who was abandoned by a no good Black man,
once again proving the superior race, ha-haa! And, when
they find out it's Hal Siegfried's baby, it will ruin him.
He'll hate me even more for being a father to his child
and raising the kid...
No, I don't really intend to raise the little bastard.

We'll get the little black bastard a nanny. I'll get
Rachel pregnant again, then, send Hal's child away to
boarding school when the bastard is old enough.
Rachel? Pfft! She'll do what I tell her to do...Of

course I care about her feelings, but, that's what she
gets for spreading her legs to a nigger.
Divorce?...Heck no! She's not getting a divorce. She

won't divorce me. I'll take the kids and forbid her to see
them. The courts will certainly award the president of the
United States full custody after I present her as an unfit
mother and an adulteress. Hopefully, it won't come to that
and she'll appreciate what I'm doing for her.
808
Episode 31
Part 2
809

Episode 31
Part 2
David Siegfried and Rachel met at Bridge Way Park, on

the east side of town, near the river. It wasn't too far
from Graves Tower, but, quite a distance from Hal's house.
When David Siegfried arrived, he noticed Rachel twisting a
ring on her finger and decided to ask her about it.
"Hello, Rachel. Thank you for coming. That's a

beautiful ring you're wearing."
Rachel put her head down.
"Thank you."
"Have you had it long?"
"No. I just got it today."
Trying to smile, she looked up at him and said,
"I decided to accept someone's proposal."
David Siegfried sat down next to Rachel on the park
810
bench.
"Well, I guess congratulations are in order."
"Thank you."
"Rachel, I'm so sorry about what happened this

morning..."
"You don't have to apologize for your son, Mr.

Siegfried."
"Yes, I do. I thought I had taught him to be a better

man, but, with this new life he's living, he's confused."
"I don't blame him, Mr. Siegfried. It's no one's fault.

It just wasn't meant to be. I know God will work things
out for the best, if I trust Him."
David Siegfried hugged Rachel and kissed her forehead.
"I can see that you are a good woman of faith and I
know you wouldn't be in this predicament if you didn't
really love my son. That's why you need to really think
about what you're doing. You're hurt now, especially after
what you saw back at the house."
"I thought I loved your son, but, I guess I really

didn't."
David shook his head and put it down, covering his eyes
811
with his hand. He then, took out a handkerchief and wiped

the tears from his eyes.
"I'm an old, sick man, now. I prayed that I would live

to see my son married and to see my grandchildren, but,
not like this."
Rachel turned her head and started sobbing.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Siegfried."
"Honey, I'm not blaming you for anything. The Lord's

Will will be done. We all have to face the consequences of
our behavior and mine definitely hasn't been perfect.
No, what I was referring to was seeing you suffer

heartbreak and having to run into the arms of another man.
Is he a good man? Can he provide for you and the baby?"
Rachel rolled her lips in tightly, squeezing her eyes

shut holding in the pain. She nodded her head yes. Derek
was good to her and he definitely could provide for them.
"Do you care for him and is he good to you?"
Again, Rachel nodded her head yes.
"Well, whatever you decide to do, you have my

blessings, but, I want to be able to see my grandchild,
even if I have to move out on my own. Okay?"
812
Rachel tried to manage a smile, nodded her head yes and

hugged Mr. Siegfried.
"Now, let's go get you something to eat and feed my

grandson."
Rachel laughed, "How do you know it's a boy?"
"Because I said so. That's something you're going to

have to learn about me. I asked God to make my first
grandchild a boy and the second one a girl. You see, me
and God have this special relationship. Before Hal was
born, I asked him the same thing. Make the first one a boy
and the next one a girl."
"Are you a male chauvinist, Mr. Siegfried?"
"Male chauvinist? Chauvinist? Oh no! I don't "chau"

anything. I'm not like that. I highly respect and admire
women and I'd love to have a little girl. I wanted one,
but Hal's mother couldn't have any more children, but, a
girl would have been wonderful. I always wanted a sister,
but, my mother was killed during the second civil war.
Now, you can have a girl, but, I warn you that I'll
take her and spoil her and never give her back to you, so
you better have a boy first. I'll spoil him a little bit,
but, also, toughen him up and teach him how to be a man.
Then have him whoop Hal up for you and teach him a
lesson."
As bad as Rachel felt, she couldn't keep from laughing

at Hal's father. She hugged him tightly and kissed him on
813
the cheek. They found a little cafe nearby and sat at a

table outside. Rachel took Mr. Siegfried's hand.
"Thank you for coming to see me and accepting me and

the baby."
David started to speak, but, Rachel put her hand to his

mouth.
"No, you didn't have to come. A lot of people wouldn't

have. I'm not saying that I expected you to be prejudice,
or not to like me, but, you didn't criticize me or judge
me. You've shown me that you not only care about the baby
inside of me, that's your blood, but, you care about what
happens to me as well. And...I thank you. I'll make sure
that you're a big part of your grandchild's life, but,
please, promise me one thing. Don't tell Hal about the
baby, yet. I will when I'm ready."
"He needs to know NOW, Rachel, so he can help you in

your pregnancy!"
"I'm a big girl, with a good job and I can take care of
myself."
"You young, independent women! That's not all that's to

it, Rachel. There are other things a woman needs during
pregnancy besides money and material things: safety and
security; love and companionship; understanding and
empathy; peace and rest; joy and happiness; encouragement;
pampering..."
"Mr. Siegfried! Forgive me, but, Hal can't give me
814
those things! He has someone else now!...and...so do I.

I'll have to get those things from Derek."
"DEREK?! DEREK WHO?!"
"Derek Graves..."
David Siegfried stood up and started pacing around.
"I know you don't like him and you're protesting

against him, but, He just proposed to me this morning when
I went to see him, after I left your house."
"Listen, Rachel, you need to talk to Hal real soon.

There are things you don't know about Derek Graves."
"Derek has been good to me. I was a wreck and Derek and
I have been seeing one another since Hal and I broke up
and...
Are you alright Mr. Siegfried? Should I call somebody?"
David reached into his shirt pocket and took another

nitroglycerin tablet. The chauffeur who had been parked
nearby had been keeping an eye out for any signs of
trouble. He knew that Hal's father wasn't supposed to
leave the house without a bodyguard and a nursing
assistant, but, he would break the rules from time to
time. The chauffeur was determined not to have him die on
his watch. He got out of the car and got the wheelchair
out of the trunk, scooped him up in the chair and put him
in the limousine.
815
Rachel watched, worried and dismayed.
"I'll call to check on you Mr. Siegfried. I'm sorry.

Please get better. Goodbye!"
David nodded his head and allowed himself to be handled

and scolded by the chauffeur. He made the chauffeur
promise not to tell Hal who he had met with.
When they arrived home, they were met in the driveway

by Hal, Zenobia, and his nursing assistant, all of them
looking extremely worried and concerned. Everyone helped
in getting him out of the car and into the house.
816
Episode 31
Part 3
817

Episode 31
Part 3
They took David Siegfried to his room, the nursing

assistant began to undress him and Zenobia went to work on
checking him from head to toe. She then called Dr. Acharya
to be advised as to how to proceed. The doctor ordered
some tests and said that he would stop by later that day.
Hal entered the room and it was obvious that he was

angry with his father as well as worried.
"Where did you go, Dad? Sam said you went to the park
and then the cafe. Why?"
"That snitch! Why? What's it to you? I'm a grown man

and I ought to be able to go where I want to go."
"Why didn't you tell someone, Dad? We know you've been

sneaking out eating the wrong things. Are you trying to
kill yourself?!"
"Hal, please..."
"NO, ZENOBIA! Somebody needs to talk to him and tell

him something. He acts like he doesn't care about anybody
but himself, while we're all here worrying about him."
818
"Hal, this isn't the right time."
"There's not going to be a good time, Zenobia. What's

going to happen if he does it again?"
"Son, I'll tell you what will happen if I do it again,

YOU won't have to worry about it. Just put me in a nursing
home! I'd rather be in a nursing home than to be a
prisoner in my own house! I'm not a child and I'm not an
invalid! I ought to be able to make my own decisions! If I
want to DIE, I'LL DIE ON MY OWN TERMS!!"
YOU WANT TO BE UP IN MY BUSINESS ALL THE TIME, HOW

ABOUT I GET UP IN YOUR BUSINESS, SON?!! I DIDN'T RAISE YOU
TO BE LIKE THIS!!
"Hal, you're getting him too excited, I'm going to have

to ask you to leave."
"NO, ZENOBIA! If we're going to be together, you're

going to have to listen to me, too. This is MY father!"
Hal looked at Zenobia and could see that his words had
hurt her.
"Listen, I'm sorry, Zenobia. I'll calm down, but, I

need to talk to him.
Just give us a minute...please."
819
Zenobia walked out of the door on the verge of tears,

holding her stomach.
"Dad, I'm sorry I yelled at you. That was

disrespectful..."
"I need some money, son."
"WHAT?! Okay, I said I wasn't going to yell..."
"I said I need some money. You said the money belongs
to us, now, I'm asking you for some."
"You have money in your account, Dad. You know I'd

never withhold money from you."
"I need more money."
"I put one hundred thousand in there this month and

you've barely touched it. What do you mean you need more
money? What are you going to buy that we don't already
own?"
"Maybe I need a hobby. Maybe I want to invest it. What

does it matter what I do with MY money? I don't ask you
what you do with YOUR MONEY!"
"Invest it? What do you know about the stock market?"
"I'm no dummy, son. Just because I worked like a dog to

put YOU through college doesn't mean I don't know
820
nothin'!"
"Alright, just calm down, Dad. How much do you need?"
"One million."
"ONE MILLION?! WHAT ARE YOU INVESTING IN?!"
"Hal, I've had ENOUGH! I'm moving out of here! I can't

stand to watch you ruining your life and everybody
else's..."
"What do you mean, I'm ruining my life and everybody's

life?"
"I didn't raise you to treat women this way. You were
sleeping with Rachel. Now, you're sleeping with Zenobia.
It's like you don't have any respect for women, yourself,
or God. Never mind I live here, too."
"Dad, things are different, now."
"I know they're different, being rich has made you lose
your mind!"
"I mean...I...I'm going to marry Zenobia, Dad. She's

going to have my baby. I thought you'd be happy for us!"
"Don't you think you've got it backwards, Son? Get

married first, then, get pregnant?!"
821
"Dad, it doesn't make any difference!"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE! IN

GOD'S EYES IT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE! BE YE HOLY, FOR I
AM HOLY, HE SAID! YOU STOPPED BELIEVING, HAL! AND YOU
CAN'T MAKE IT WITHOUT GOD!
LORD HAVE MERCY! YOU'RE BARELY OUT OF BED WITH ONE

WOMAN AND YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER ONE PREGNANT! JESUS!!"
"DAD! ZENOBIA CAN HEAR YOU!"
"Zenobia doesn't have to hear me. She has eyes. She can
see. That's probably why she let you knock her up so fast.
"DAD!!"
"SON, YOU NEED TO SLOW DOWN...AND..."
Hal's father took his voice down to a strained whisper.
"...and think about what you're doing to yourself and

these women. Yes, Zenobia is a good woman, but, you didn't
treat her like she is a good woman. And, what about
Rachel? Have you considered her feelings? Does she know
you and Zenobia are pregnant and you're going to get
married?"
"Why should she have to know? She made her choice, she
has someone else."
822
"Son, I just want you to be sure. You didn't end it

right with Rachel. Zenobia deserves the best and so does
Rachel. You can't just throw people away son because
you're hurt and pick up with somebody new.
Just using women's bodies and not thinking about the

consequences, that's not being a man or a godly man. And,
if you don't know how to be a man and treat a woman, how
in the world are you going to be a father and teach your
child? You can ruin that child's life, too.
Don't let your pain and anger cause you to make

mistakes and ruin relationships. Everybody has feelings,
even me. So, maybe it's time that I move out of your
house."
"Wait, wait...I need you, Dad.
"NO, son, you don't need me. You need JESUS! You need a
relationship with your Heavenly Father."
"Okay, Dad, you're right. I realize I'm being hotheaded

and disrespectful and I didn't treat Zenobia or Rachel
like they deserved to be treated. It's just moving into
this house, the businesses. Now, Zenobia being pregnant
and having to think about getting married and being a
husband and a father and worrying about everybody having
what they need and being happy. I feel like I'm losing it
sometimes."
"That's why you lean and depend on God, son!"
"You're right, Dad. Okay...I'll get you the money you
823
need. No questions asked. I'm sorry, but, you worried us.

You were sick before you left here and I don't want you
out there getting sicker or...or...
You're all I've got Dad. It would be like losing

grandpa all over again. I have Zenobia and the baby now,
but, it wouldn't be the same without you to enjoy it, too.
Please, Dad, I want you to stay, but, promise me that

you'll at least let us know when you're going out and take
somebody who is able to help you and protect you."
"Okay, son. I apologize for my reckless behavior. Do I

get the million dollars, now?"
"Are you sure you need a million?"
"Well, I can start out with five hundred and ten

grand."
"Okay, Dad. You've got it, five hundred and ten grand.
It will be in your bank account by tomorrow."
"And, I owe you a butt whoopin' for yelling at me and

being disrespectful. You can be thankful that I'm just too
tired right now. I need to lie down for a while. Be ready
when I get up."
David Siegfried sat down on the bed, wiping the sweat

from his brow. Hal bent down and gave his father a hug,
resting his forehead on his father's soft and curly, gray
hair. Giving his father's head a kiss, he smiled, looking
down at his father and said,
824
"Okay, Dad. I will. You rest now. I'll be ready for my

punishment."
Hal left his father's room and closed the door. He took
a deep breath, not wanting to face the next battle with
Zenobia. Reluctantly, he set out to ask forgiveness from
the woman who would become his future wife, and the mother
of his child.
David Siegfried, laid down on the bed, smiling. He was

happy for Hal and Zenobia, but, he was happy for himself,
too.
He made a decision to stop fighting the doctor and

everybody else and strive to live a longer and healthier
life. He told himself that he needed to stay alive for his
grandson and granddaughter who would need a role model who
had some type of sanity and wisdom, since his son had
clearly lost his mind, thinking he could argue with him,
and even had the nerve to yell and fuss.
He began to think about all of the things he was going

to buy for Zenobia's baby and Rachel's baby. First, he had
to make sure Rachel and his grandson would be financially
secure. He didn't want her to have to depend on Derek
Graves to provide for his grandchild. He thought about the
bank accounts that he would have opened up for them: a
checking and savings account for Rachel and a trust fund
for his grandson. Thinking ahead to the future, he
intended for his grandson to go to any college of his
choice. As the grandfather to Rachel's baby, he would make
sure that the money was there for whenever they needed
anything, or, if she wanted to get away from Derek Graves.
825
Episode 32
AUNTIE YONNY: THE BOX
826

Episode 32
AUNTIE YONNY: THE BOX
Tanya entered the bank vault carrying a steel

briefcase. She had been careful not to let anyone know
where she was going and made sure that she hadn't been
followed. She waited until the bank manager had left the
room and unlocked the briefcase.
She pulled out several files, two small boxes, and a

larger box. Removing her sunglasses, she checked the
content of the files again and assured herself that
everything that needed to be in them was there.
The files had kept her out of jail. She had leverage
whenever she needed it and intended to use it again, if
she had to. Things had gone haywire after her father was
impeached and she knew she had to do something to help
herself.
John had been in too deep, taking too many risks,

throwing them into extreme debt. Sure, she would feel the
brunt of it and the loss, but, she would still come out on
top. She had made contacts in Russia, too, and the
information they gave her was priceless.
827
She opened her safe deposit box and quickly placed the
contents of the briefcase inside. Taking a deep breath,
she smoothed her dress around her hips and put on her
sunglasses to leave the vault.
**********************************************************
Cardinal Vinalli had been instructed to set up a secret

meeting between the leaders of the Western alliance and
the Pope. He had no idea what the Pope intended to meet
about, just that it was highly confidential.
He knew that matters were very grave in the United

States and that war with North Korea was imminent. No
doubt, it would result in World War III. So, the Cardinal
was sure that the Pope was intending to do everything that
he could to prevent the loss of millions of lives.
As an eminent and powerful, global figure, the Pope

could definitely have influence to curtail events, or
alter the course of actions.
Yet, there was one stipulation in the Pope's

instructions that the Cardinal didn't quite understand. No
one in the United States was to attend the meeting or have
knowledge of the meeting and he was to make this fact very
clear to the invited Heads of State.
**********************************************************
Republican Party leaders met secretly one evening in

the home of the Senate Majority Leader. They were in dire
straits. The president no longer represented their party
828
and he had done irreparable damage to the party's image.

Now, he was uncontrollable, lashing and acting out, as if
to do as much harm and damage to those who opposed him as
possible and destroy the nation.
The Russia investigations were going fast, but, not

fast enough. No one in the party intended to do anything
to jeopardize themselves by offering information that
would bring them to a conclusion.
The president had continued to embolden white

supremacists groups and stoke the fire for violence and
unrest. People were being attacked, beaten, and murdered.
He had to be stopped and soon, without putting their own
political careers in jeopardy.
However, they needed help to stop the president and

didn't want to involve any government agencies. That was a
mistake which men in the past had made in American
History. No, they would seek help from their Western
allies. A call was made to the Pope. They felt that if
anyone could convince the nation leaders that breaking the
assassination rule was absolutely necessary at this time,
it was the Pope. But, would he do it? They laid out their
proposal and the perilous conditions that the world was
facing due to this one man and awaited his answer.
The Pope's answer came by way of a small package

containing a crucifix, inscribed with the Pope's signature
and the date, and a note signed by him with one word
written upon it--YES.
829
Episode 33
Part 1
AUNT YONNY: SINS OF THE FATHER
830

Episode 33
Part 1
AUNT YONNY: SINS OF THE FATHER
Rachel woke up in the morning without feeling nauseous

for the first time. When she went into her bathroom, she
got on the scale and weighed herself. She had lost another
pound. The doctor had told her not to worry because she
would soon start to gain a little weight from the baby.
She looked at her side profile in the full-length mirror
and imagined how her stomach would look in the coming
months.
For breakfast she had oatmeal, toast, along with orange

and apple slices. Surprisingly, everything stayed down,
so, she felt it was safe to take her prenatal pill. As she
reached for the bottle, she looked at her engagement ring
sparkling from the light. It certainly was gorgeous, she
thought.
They had celebrated their engagement when she returned

to Graves Tower by flying to Derek's cabin upstate to
spend the weekend. It was the first time that they were
intimate together.
She was nervous and still conflicted about having sex

before they got married, but, somehow, within her confused
mind, she felt she owed it to Derek for being so patient
with her and staying beside her. Besides, they were going
831
to be married soon so Derek was like her husband, she

convinced herself.
Derek seemed to be pleased with her. She had tried to

be affectionate and respondent, but, in the back of her
mind, she knew it didn't really matter much. Derek was all
about pleasing himself in bed.
In her mind, Rachel felt that there was no turning

back. She had made a decision and intended to stick with
it. No, she hadn't felt like she did with Hal, but, she
kept telling herself that she and Derek were new to one
another and things would improve. God had showed her how
to love unconditionally and she knew that she could love
Derek as his wife.
Time and time again, she went through the same ritual
of convincing herself that since they were going to be
married anyway, it was okay for them to have sex. They
just wouldn't move in together. Somehow, in her mind, that
made it more respectable. At least for the time being.
She told herself that what really mattered was that

Derek was good to her. The people that criticized Derek
just didn't know him like she did and if they did, they
would see how kind and understanding he really is. She
blocked out all of the negative media coverage that she
heard and kept trying to convince herself that Derek was a
good man and would be a good father and husband.
The only times they had argued had been when he talked
about him wanting her to leave The Daily and travel with
him while he was campaigning and when she asked about his
visiting voters who worshiped in mosque and temples. She
had made the remark that he couldn't possibly be "the
832
people's candidate" if he didn't represent "all" of the

people.
He suggested she quit working for the Daily after they

were married, since, she would soon be in the White House
as the First Lady. The reality of what he was saying still
hadn't sunk in and Rachel couldn't imagine herself not
working everyday as a journalist or as The First Lady of
the United States. It was something that she said she
would deal with when the time came.
She had made up her mind to stay away from those two
subjects that had caused heated arguments and distance
between them. Still, Rachel couldn't help feeling that she
was losing herself and her identity and forgetting who she
was when she was with Derek. The day that they argued, she
had screamed,
"I can't just be who you want me to be. I have to be

who God created me to be and allow Him to use the gifts
that He gave me!"
But, who was really to blame for the argument and the
reason for the argument, she wondered? She was allowing
herself to live a life that felt uncomfortable and trying
to make it work.
From time to time, Hal's father would come by or ask to

meet her at the park to check on her. He would bring a
gift for her and a gift for the baby and entertain her
with his unique sense of humor. When he handed her the
money for her to set up bank accounts and a trust fund for
the baby, she had tried to object, but, David Siegfried
wasn't having it. He insisted that she have added security
and support for herself and the baby. They had bonded and
833
she'd come to think of him as the father she never got to

have. "Perhaps," she thought, "I'm like the daughter he
always wanted."
**********************************************************
During his visits with Rachel, David Siegfried wouldn't

say much about Hal and Zenobia, just that they were doing
fine. He wanted Rachel to feel special and didn't want to
ever see her sad again. He had even stopped pressuring her
to tell Hal about the pregnancy. He knew that he was
carrying some guilt from the situation that his son had
helped to create and asked God to help him find a way to
be released from the bondage of guilt and pain that he
felt. He constantly prayed for his son, who couldn't see
or understand that everything that he did effected those
around him.
Yet, David Siegfried found that his affection for

Rachel was real and sincere. He did love her like the
daughter he had never had. Not just because she was
carrying Hal's baby, but, because he saw in her a woman
seeking God and His Kingdom, confused and struggling to
hold on to her faith,and like him, not comfortable with
living in the world. It was a chance for him to offer
advice, encouragement, and support; to feel needed; and to
feel like a father again.
Perhaps, God had answered his prayer after all in this

strange but generous way that only God can do. Now, he
felt that he not only had a daughter, but, he had two
daughters, Rachel and Zenobia, and soon a lovely
granddaughter.
**********************************************************
834
The hearing for Miriam's contested will was coming up

soon. Theodore Wellington had retained his own legal
counsel and referred Hal to an outside law firm that was
of equal reputation. Meanwhile, since the day after
Tanya's funeral, Hal had been meeting with Tanya's
attorneys and getting acquainted with her businesses,
finances and the rest of her estate.
Jake and Steve had taken on enough staff for a small

army and were always busy training and expanding their
business. David hated to think about what they were up to.
He left it to Hal to monitor their plans and progress. Hal
appeared to be looking the other way when it came to Steve
and Jake, giving them permission to stockpile an arsenal
of weapons and prepare themselves for what appeared to be
a declaration of war and Armageddon.
Zenobia had the mansion bustling with activity

preparing for one thing or the other: redecorating;
preparing the baby's room; wedding plans; designing
maternity clothes; planning dinner parties and
entertaining business associates, etc.
David new that Zenobia was keeping herself extra busy

for a reason. Hal spent a lot of time away from home and
when he was home, he was working in his study or his mind
was always preoccupied. This was a new life for Zenobia in
stark contrast to the life she had been living as a nurse
practitioner. He encouraged her to send for her brothers
and sisters to spend time with them. She needed friends
and someone to support her during her pregnancy and as she
tried to adjust to her new life. He spent as much time as
possible with her, but, David knew that Zenobia was not
happy and felt alone.
835
"Life is changing for everyone so fast," he thought.

"So fast that no one is taking time to really think.
They're just reacting and allowing things to happen. Lord,
I don't even know my son anymore. I know it's wrong, but,
that's how I feel right now. I love him, but, I can't
stand to see him doing wrong. Save him, Lord. Save him
from himself. Humble him and bring him closer to you. Have
your way, Lord.
Father, You know the condition of our nation and the

world right now. Fear and hatred once again is being
instilled into the hearts of the people. Derek Graves is
stirring up racial tensions again, pretending he's the
people's candidate. Some people are so blind and deaf to
Your Word, that they begin to believe anything if it's
told to them enough times by somebody who is like them or
pretends to be like them. Lord, what will become of my
grandchild in the hands of this bigot? Please Lord, have
mercy!
Sometimes, I don't understand why these things are

happening. I forget that we are all in Your hands. I look
at the hearts of the people and have no where else to turn
but, to You.
I know that I've asked Your forgiveness before, but,

when I see my son doing as I did, not, being the husband
and father that he should be when his wife and child need
him, it breaks my heart. Forgive me, Father, for not being
there when Kari was suffering; for thinking about myself,
my wants and desires. I made lots of excuses and
rationalized, but, it was me and my selfishness. I-I-I
just couldn't face her. You remember...I said I wasn't
strong enough to watch her slowly being eaten away by
cancer. I didn't know what to do, but...but...the truth is
I didn't know unconditional love. I didn't know how to
836
love her as I loved myself. I thought I did when I took

the vows, but, when times got hard, I thought about
myself. I didn't respect her, because I didn't respect
myself. But, most of all, I didn't respect You, Father.
Forgive me...for-forgive me for failing You.
Those other women I ran around with couldn't give me

what I needed, because, I needed Jesus. Lord...Lord...I-
I'm sorry. I'm so s-s-sorry. I know I need to forgive
myself, but...but...it's hard to forget. How can I....how
can I forget Kari...Kari, I'm-I'm soooo sorry...I love
you...Kari...our son...mm-mmm
Yes, Lord, You gave me a good woman and yes, I stopped

fooling around and she forgave me, when I asked for
forgiveness, but, I couldn't take anything back. I-I-I c-
c-couldn't take back...(sobbing)... Oh, Lord, I couldn't
take back the pain and heartache that I had caused her and
she was already dying! Oh, God! How could I do such a
thing? Where was my mind? I thought I knew You Father. I
thought I knew Jesus, but, I took my eyes off of Him and I
still considered myself to be a good Christian, but, I
didn't really believe. I acted like You couldn't see what
I was doing. (sobbing)
Now...Oh, Lord! Now, my son is lost and confused.

Rachel and Zenobia, mm-mm-mmm, I don't know what to do.
I've tried to talk to him. He just pretends like he hears
me to keep me happy. Living in that huge house is like
living in a tomb with a bunch of dead people. Help us
Father...Father...OOOOOH FATHER, PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON MY
SON AND MY GRANDCHILDREN! HELP THEIR MOTHERS! PLEASE,
LORD!"
David felt a hand upon his shoulder. It was Carolyn,

his nurse. Howard, his body guard stood next to her with
837
his wheelchair. He knew that seeing him in distress, they

were concerned about his health, so, it was time for him
to leave the sanctuary of his church and return home.
Allowing them to help him to get off of his knees, he rose
from the altar speaking aloud.
"It's in Your hands, now, Father. Let Thy Will Be

Done."
838
Episode 34
AUNT YONNY:
SINS OF THE FATHER Part 2
839
The alarm was going off on the clock on top of the

bedside table. Zenobia groaned, reached over Hal , grabbed
it and began a full outright assault to silence it,
yanking it around and punching buttons. Finally, she
slammed it down. Hal rolled over, found the right button
and ended the battle. Zenobia covered her head with her
pillow and went back to sleep.
Hal noticed she was sleeping in later and later. When he

asked her about it, she looked at him irritatingly and
said that the baby was taking all of her energy. Of
course, being a man and never having experienced
pregnancy, he knew he better not question her about the
matter or her reasoning again, if he knew what was good
for him. He simply got out of bed and went to work, giving
her a kiss each day before he would leave.
He had been excited at the news of the pregnancy, but,

he was finding it hard to keep up the enthusiasm about
becoming a father with Zenobia behaving differently.
Mornings were definitely not her best time of day, but,
lately, afternoons, and evenings hadn't gone too well
between them, either.
Today, he had to be in full body armor so to speak,

ready to be at court and take on the other faction of his
family, the Barrett Brothers and Derek Graves. He
definitely didn't want to see Derek Graves since he and
Rachel were seeing one another. He told himself that he
wasn't jealous. He had Zenobia now. They were pregnant and
about to be married and be a family. They would be happy,
as happy as he had seen his mother and father be
sometimes. When Hal would find her crying, his mother
would always say that marriage isn't always sunshine and
840
roses. She'd tell him not to worry and that she and his
father would work things out and they would always be
together.
Hal figured that he and Zenobia were just going through

a cloudy period and the sunshine and roses would return
again soon. Zenobia was a gorgeous woman and she certainly
handled things around the house well. He was a lucky man,
he said to himself. Then, he remembered what his
grandfather always said, "There's no such thing as luck,
Hal. That's a worldly way of thinking. We are in God's
hands and He is in control."
After showering, splashing on his favorite cologne and

putting on his best suit, Hal kissed Zenobia and went
downstairs. He knew his father would be up and busy
reading the morning paper. Stopping to get coffee, he
turned down a breakfast plate from the chef and went to
sit out on the terrace with his father.
"Good morning, Hal. How is Zenobia doing?"
"Good morning, Hal, How is Zenobia doing? Don't you

care about your son anymore?"
"Yeah, but, I can see that you're alright. You're all

dressed up and smelling good, looking like a shiny new
penny. I don't get to see Zenobia in the mornings since
you made her sick."
Hal laughed.
"Dad, I'm not going to let you ruin my morning. I know
841
you love me and I love you. Zenobia is fine, just dealing

with morning sickness, that's all."
"If I had to sleep with a stinky, slobbery man, I'd be

sick, too."
Hal held in his laughter. He wasn't going to encourage

his father to humor himself at his expense.
"I'm just going to sit here and drink my coffee, old

man, enjoying your company. I've got to get going soon. I
need to stop by my lawyers office before we go to court."
"Oh, yeah. I can still go with you if you want me to."
"No, Dad. I don't want you anywhere near Derek Graves,

or Everett and Conner Barrett."
"You don't have to protect me son..."
"I'm not protecting you from them, I'm protecting them

from YOU!"
Hal laughed.
"You've got that right, son. Why...I'll give them the

old one-two like Muhammad Ali--kinfolk or not. Are you
going to tell them you're related today? I want to be
there to see their faces."
"Yeah, I bet you do. I don't know, Dad. It depends on
842
if we have to."
"I think you should tell them, especially Derek Graves.

That's the one I want to watch to see his expression when
you tell him that you're cousins. I want to give him a
kiss on the mouth and put my blackness all over him."
"Dad, you are sick."
"It is what it is, son. It is what it is. Please let me

go with you. I can get dressed in a hurry."
"I'm sorry, Dad, but, I can't trust you."
"Can't trust me?! What a terrible thing to say about

your father after all I've done for you. You could trust
me then."
"Yes, and I appreciate everything you've done for me,
but, this? It's time for me to do something for you. These
Graves aren't to be trifled with. Miriam and Arturo are
dead and I know they had something to do with it. Please,
dad. Trust me this time."
**********************************************************
The hearing went faster than expected. Mr. Wellington's

attorney had presented the judge with two cases of files
and legal documents to review weeks before the hearing.
Theodore Wellington arrived looking very rested and
confident. Hal had brought Steve with him, along with his
regular body guards and the legal team recommended by Mr.
Wellington.
843
Everett and Conner Barrett arrived, glaring at Hal, but,

there was no sign of Derek Graves. Hal hadn't kept up with
Derek's campaigning. He didn't have time for it in his
busy schedule. He left that up to his father, who was
determined to do whatever he could to keep him from being
elected president.
The attorneys were each given an opportunity to present

any new information and formally state their case. After
asking several questions, to each attorney, the judge took
about fifteen minutes sorting out papers to file and
talking to his clerk.
Hal was extremely nervous. Leaning on the table, he

started pulling and clenching his hair, then caught
himself. He looked up and saw Everett and Conner laughing
and snickering at him, enjoying seeing him sweat.
Then, the judge asked both counselors to come to the

bench. The Barrett's attorney returned to his seat looking
furious. Hal noticed his attorney, Mr. Petway, had a smile
on his face. Then, the judge spoke. Hal's heart sunk
before he heard and processed the words.
" Mr. Everett Barrett and Mr. Conner Barrett, my heart

goes out to you for the loss of your mother. However, it
seems that she was a very organized and cautious woman who
had prepared for this very day. I thank the defendant's
attorney's for giving me time to review all of these
documents pertaining to the case and both attorneys for
complying with the courts demands and procedures. I have
reviewed the case thoroughly and compared it to its
predecessors.
Although, it is sometimes unusual for a mother to alter

her will to leave her children out or diminish their
inheritance, it is certainly not illegal. I find no valid
844
evidence and the plaintiffs' attorney's have not provided

any evidence supporting the claims that Mrs. Barrett was
incompetent and incapable of understanding the changes
that Mr. Wellington assisted her in making to her will.
She was wise enough to have several psychological
examinations before she changed her will. These doctors
are in agreement to the soundness of her mind and her
comprehensive abilities. Her regular physician finds no
physical illness that would have impaired her cognitive
abilities. They are all very highly respected and awarded
in their field of study and have all provided tests,
results, and statements as indisputable evidence of her
competence.
As for Mr. Wellington and Mrs. Barrett's relationship. Mr.

Wellington had been her attorney for many years handling
her affairs and her late husband's. Never in that time was
there any complaint against him regarding his competence
in doing so, or any records to show that he mishandled her
husband's or her affairs in any way. Mr. Wellington says
that their personal relationship was never a secret and
that they had been having an affair well before her
husband had died. During that time, they chose to continue
to lead separate lives to prevent things from becoming
complicated.
Mr. Wellington's attorney has presented statements from

Mrs. Barrett's friends, employees, and staff at her son's
institutional care center who will testify that Mr.
Wellington was a constant companion of Mrs. Barrett's,
often accompanying her to visit her son. Her employees and
household staff are willing to testify to her competence
and that her sons did not live with her, rarely visited,
or checked on her, and therefore couldn't possible know
enough about her state of mind during the time she was
changing her will.
845
Her friends and the director of the psychiatric

institution are willing to testify that Mrs. Barrett
informed them of the changes to her will well in advance
and asked them to support her decision if there were to be
any dispute about her will when she passed away. She
assured them that she had not been coerced or influenced
by anyone to make these changes and states this in a
separate letter of her own that accompanied theirs. These
letters were written, signed in the presence of a notary,
and then sealed in a safe deposit box, not to be opened
until after her death. There is no record at the bank of
anyone tampering with them. The letters have been verified
by the court and are valid.
As Mr. Wellington has not benefited from the changes in

the will and a stipulation has been included in the will
forbidding his personal profit, I see no reason to believe
that he personally coerced or influenced Mrs. Barrett to
change her will in favor of Mr. Siegfried. There also
seems to be no accusations or evidence with intent to
prove that Mr. Wellington had any grudge or ill-feelings
toward Mr. Conner Barrett or Mr. Everett Barrett.
In Mrs. Barrett's statement, she portrays herself as a

longtime patron of the arts, a philanthropist, a writer,
an admirer of journalism since childhood, and an admirer
of Mr. Siegfried's work. With these things in mind, she
had long planned to find someone such as Mr. Siegfried,
whose character, skills, and level of expertise could help
her establish her own journalistic platform to leave her
legacy.
The state laws are very clear in what determines an

illegal will and the plaintiffs' attorney's have failed to
present valid evidence that can prove the will was
constructed in an illegal manner. After the will was
constructed, Mrs. Barrett had the will reviewed by another
846
law firm, who found everything to be constructed properly

and in order. Their statement has also been submitted to
the court.
Now, perhaps, the question is, why Mrs. Barrett thought

she had to use such extreme measures to secure her will
and prove it to be valid before she was murdered. I
understand her murder case is still open. However, this is
not the courtroom for that matter."
"I rule in favor of the defendant, Harold (Hal)

Siegfried."
"Your Honor!"
"Court dismissed!"
"This isn't over Everett. We have other options."
847
Episode 35
AUNTIE YONNY:
SINS OF THE FATHER, Part 3
848

Episode 35
AUNTIE YONNY:
SINS OF THE FATHER, Part 3
"Did you find him, yet?!"
"No, Mr. Siegfried, we're sorry. We're still looking,

but, we haven't heard from Sam and his crew, yet."
"Why did he go out there protesting and get arrested,

not having his wallet on him anyway?"
"He told Sam he didn't want anybody in the crowd

picking his pocket. Sam tried to grab him before the
police got to him, but, the crowd was pushing and shoving
and even overran the police. Sam saw Carolyn go down and
start to get trampled, he reached down to get her, and
when he looked up. the crowd had gotten violent and
started to riot. The police had your father putting him in
the van and fighting off the crowd. Sam couldn't get near
them. He's all torn up about it and says he won't come
back without him."
"He could be in a hospital. Did you check the

hospitals, Jake?"
"Definitely, Hal. We're still checking, periodically."
849
"OH, GOD, PLEASE! I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS!"
"Hal, please calm down."
"Zenobia..."
Zenobia hurried to wrap her arms around Hal to comfort

him. Hal hid his face in her shoulder and she stroked his
hair.
Headlights flooded the room, turning the windows white.

Holding his hands up to protect his eyes, Jake strained to
identify the car when it turned.
"IT'S SAM!"
Jake ran to the front door, flinging it open, and

called out to Sam.
"Sam! Did you find him?!"
Sam opened the car door and bolted to the door.
"I need Mr. Siegfried to come with me, NOW!"
"You found him, Sam!"
"Yes! I think so."
"You think so? Sam, is he alive?!"
850
"Yes, I mean I'm not sure it's him."
"What? What do you mean?"
"They have this crazy old man locked up at the ninth

precinct police station calling himself, Kunta Kente."
"Yep, sounds like him. Better tell the boss."
******************************************************
Hal called one of his attorneys and had them check with
the ninth precinct police station. The attorney called
back and said that, from the description of the man, it
definitely sounded like his father.
******************************************************
"Next case!"
"KUNTA KENTE!"
"That's me Your Honor!"
"Whaaat?! Is there someone here representing this man?!"
"Your Honor, I've been appointed by the court to represent

him."
"Counselor, does your client have a real name?"
"So far, he's only answering to Kunta Kente."
851
"Sir, tell us your real name or I'll have to hold you in

contempt of court."
"My name is David Siegfried Graves and I'm the grandson of

President Willard Graves!"
The courtroom filled with uncontrollable laughter, as the

judge pounded her gavel and shouted for order.
"I SAID, ORDER IN THE COURTROOM!"
"Your Honor my client doesn't know what he's saying. He's

informed me that he has a serious health condition which
requires daily professional care. I'm requesting that he
be released on bail immediately to receive medical
treatment."
"I don't want to be released."
The courtroom ripped with laughter.
"ORDER!"
"Counselor, is your client able to obtain bail for

release?"
"I have lots of money--millions--billions of dollars. I'm

the richest Black man in the world!"
Everyone in the courtroom, once again, burst into

laughter. The judge was beside herself.
"BAILIFF, IF THERE ARE ANYMORE OUTBURSTS, PLEASE BEGIN TO

CLEAR THE COURTROOM!"
"YES, MA'AM!"
"Counselor, is your client mentally stable?"
852
"Your Honor, I believe my client needs immediate medical

attention that can't be received while he is incarcerated
and I request that he be released on bail."
"Well, according to the charges I can't release him on a

signature bond and he says he doesn't want to go. Is that
right, Mr. Siegfried?"
"Yes, Your Honor. I do not want to be released."
"May I ask why Mr. Siegfried? Is someone threatening to

harm you?"
"No, Your Honor. I'm innocent. I'm innocent and I want the
world to know that I'm innocent and I was racially
profiled and falsely arrested because I'm a Black man. Two
little white boys threw those water bottles at the police
and I was the first Black man the police set their eyes
on, so, they arrested me, and the crowd tried to protect
me, and the riot started, and now, I'm here. We were
protesting peacefully, until the police started beating
us."
"So, you're staging a protest now in jail, Mr. Siegfried?"
"Yes ma'am. I am protesting systemic racism and police

brutality."
"Were you injured, Mr. Siegfried?"
"I'm an old, sick man and it doesn't take much. I intend

to sue for damages, when I'm released."
"If you're injured, we can have you taken care of and

release you, now. Do you have money or collateral for
bail?"
"Yes, ma'am. I have plenty of money--billions, but, I'm
853
protesting bail money, too. That's why Black people can't

stay out of jail. It's rigged to keep poor people locked
up. So, I'm not leaving until the world knows what
happened. So, I'll do whatever I have to do to protest."
"You're not going to go on a hunger strike are you, Mr.

Siegfried, in your condition?"
"No, Your Honor, I like to eat."
The courtroom roared with laughter.
"ORDER! BAILIFF, REMOVE THAT ENTIRE BACK ROW OF PEOPLE!"
"Yes, ma'am!"
"And, if it happens again, clear the whole courtroom!"
"Yes, ma'am!"
"Mr. Siegfried, do you understand the charges that you are

facing? --Assaulting officers of the law, resisting
arrest, inciting a riot..."
"Those people were trying to protect me from police

brutality and unlawful arrest."
"Mr. Siegfried, do not interrupt me!"
"I'm sorry, I apologize, Your Honor. I've never done this

before. I've never been in trouble."
"You're facing serious time, Mr. Siegfried. Do you want to

die in prison? Maybe you should reconsider bail."
"No, Your Honor, I'm going to die anyway. If I can do

something to help prevent other people from being
oppressed and killed, I don't mind dying in prison."
854
"Do you have next of kin, or someone we can notify that

you're here who might be able to persuade you to change
your mind?"
"I have a son, and the Graves Family, but, my son has
nothing to do with this and I'm protesting against my
family. This is my decision, alone."
"Counselor, we will set Mr. Siegfried's hearing for, Ms.

Andrews..."
"Wednesday, May fifth at ten a.m."
"Thank you, Ms. Andrews, Mr. Siegfried, you are

dismissed."
"Your Honor,..."
"Counselor, your client has rights and he has decided not

to pay bail. Meanwhile, I suggest that you contact his son
and contact a psychiatrist."
"Thank you, Your Honor, for sticking up for me. You seem
like a very nice lady. Are you single?"
The judge looked down at David Siegfried through her

small, wire-rimmed glasses and smiled.
"If you EVER want to get out of jail, don't try to flirt
with the judge."
"No, I have a friend in Charlottesville who's a retired

judge. You two would be perfect together..."
"BAILIFF!"
855
Episode 36
AUNTIE YONNY:
SINS OF THE FATHER, part 4
856

Episode 36
AUNTIE YONNY:
SINS OF THE FATHER, part 4
"Dad, I got here as soon as I could. We couldn't find

you. Are you alright?"
"I'm fine, son."
"We're going to get you out of here and we're making

sure that you get your medication right away."
"I'm not leaving."
"What? What do you mean you're not leaving?"
"I can't leave. I'm innocent. I didn't do anything."
"Well, we'll get good lawyers to represent you and

prove it."
"No, I'm protesting."
"Protesting?! What do you mean you're protesting?!"
857
"I'm staying right here until I'm proven innocent."
"Why...why are you doing this to me? I don't need this

right now. I've got enough to take care of."
"I'm not doing this to you, Son. They did this to me.
I'm innocent. Two little white boys hit the police with
water bottles. A police officer turned around and spotted
the first Black man in the crowd and blamed it on me."
"You planned this all along didn't you? That's why you
keep going to these protest marches."
"No, Son, I didn't want to get arrested. I was

protesting peacefully. It just happened. I was racially
profiled. But, now that it's happened, I'm going to make
it mean something. I want the whole world to know that
Derek Grave's Black cousin was protesting against him and
he was racially profiled and falsely arrested. I want them
to see how Black men are still treated in America, so,
sacrifices have to be made. This is my sacrifice, so, I'm
staying in jail."
"SACRIFICES?! What makes you think you get to choose

what and who gets sacrificed?!"
"I didn't choose this, God did. He allowed it to happen

for a reason."
"Everybody was out there looking for you, Sam, Jake,

Steve and their men and now you want to stay in jail? Your
nurse, Carolyn was practically trampled to death in a riot
that YOU started!"
858
"I didn't start the riot! People were trying to protect

me!"
"You're charged with resisting arrest!"
"They were pulling me away from the police and out of

the police van!"
"You've got an excuse for everything except why you

were there in the first place endangering other people's
lives."
"I was doing it for my grandchildren, for you, and for

everybody else!"
"NO, what you are doing is disrupting MY life! Okay,

you want to make a difference and save the world?! Dad,
we've been fighting racism for how long and it doesn't
stop or go away? IT NEVER WILL! "
"But, that doesn't mean we stop fighting, Son! You

can't give up! EVER! Why do you think THEY never stop
oppressing and killing us? Because, they KNOW that they
can't win!!"
"Well, I just wish you cared as much about my life

right now!"
"Your life is not all about you, Son. That's your whole
problem right now. Until, you can see that, you won't have
to worry about me sending you to an early grave, because,
859
all that money will. You'll either be dead inside,

spiritually, or, six feet under the ground."
"Who are you? You used to not be like this. I'm

beginning to think I never knew you."
"I feel the same way about you, Son."
"Huh...is that right?! Well, I'm not the one getting

arrested and behind bars right now. Am I supposed to be
the adult in the household now, while you spend your time
acting like a child?"
"Son, listen..."
"No, you listen, Dad. I'm through! I'm the one who's
going to end up dead worrying about YOU!"
"Son..."
"I'm not finished! You know...when...when they told me

you were sneaking around meeting some woman, I said, okay.
I'll leave it alone. He's a grown man and he deserves some
romance in his life."
"You were spying on me?"
"IT'S NOT ABOUT SPYING ON YOU DAD!!"
"KEEP IT DOWN, DOWN THERE OR I'LL HAVE TO ASK YOU TO

LEAVE!"
860
"Okay, officer. I'm sorry. I-I-It's not about spying on

you, Dad. It's about loving and caring about someone.
Isn't that what you used to tell me?"
"You're right, that's why I'm doing this."
"NO! No...don't you see, what you are doing is

disrupting my life and everyone around you!
What is this, some senior citizen, old-age crisis

you're going through where you need to feel important and
make your mark before you die? You want to feel young
again? Are you sneaking around with a married woman, or,
is the woman not good enough to bring home with you?
I didn't care at first, it was none of my business.

But, look at you now. Somebody has got your mind all
messed up. You went out looking for trouble. This morning,
you were itching for it and if I had taken you along, you
would have made trouble then. And...and you call yourself
a Christian."
"Son, please don't talk to me like that."
"Oh, please, I'M THROUGH! If you want to stay in jail

and sneak around with some whore, FINE!"
"SHE'S NOT A WHORE..."
"Quiet! Keep it down or I'm taking you back to your

cell."
861
"Okay, officer."
"She's not a whore and she's not just some woman."
"Then, who is she? What's her name?"
"I can't tell you that."
"See! Bye! I'm done with it!"
"Hal! Hal! Don't... don't leave! It's...It's...Rachel."
Hal stopped in his tracks and stood still, then, slowly

turned back around and faced his father.
"Rachel? Why are you seeing Rachel?"
"You'll have to ask her that."
Hal, pounded on the table with his fist.
"Sir, you'll have to leave now or face possible

arrest."
"See, that's how they get you, Son. Maybe now you'll
believe I'm innocent."
"Why are you seeing Rachel?"
862
"Leave NOW, sir!"
"I'm leaving."
Hal snatched his coat off of the table and left.
******************************************************
863

Episode 37
AUNTIE YONNY: SINS OF THE FATHER, part 5
"SIEGFRIED! You've got a visitor. Let's go, old man!
"Yes, officer..."
"Come on, I don't have all day."
"Do you know who it is? It's not visiting hours. Is it

my attorney?"
"Listen...They don't pay me enough to keep tabs on

everybody. All I know is that it's some guy in a suit and
they sent me to get you."
"Thank you, officer. It must be my attorney."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah...maybe he'll take you with him, so I

don't have to listen to your yappin'.
"I have a neighbor back home who's a police officer.

He's a real nice guy. He used to tell me the craziest
864
stories about the calls he went on and the arrests he

made. Every Sunday that he wasn't working, he'd be the
first one to show up at church. One day I asked him,
"George, why are you always the first one here? He looked
at me and said, "Every day I go to work, I don't know if
I'll be coming home, but, each time that I do, I know it
was God. During my time on the force, I've seen men gunned
down, beaten down, and die from illness. Some people think
that they've beaten the odds, but, I know I'm here because
of God. You wonder why I'm the first one here? The answer
is, why should I be last? God has always been on time for
me."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah...nice story. Just sit down and talk

to your visitor."
"God loves you, officer and he's going to make

everything alright if you just lean and depend upon him.
Wait, officer, I don't know that man."
"Sit down, Siegfried!"
"Hello, are you with my attorney?"
"No, Mr. Siegfried. Let me introduce myself. I'm

Christopher Holland, an attorney for Mr. Derek Graves,
whom I'm sure you're familiar with. You were at his
campaign rally when you were arrested."
"Yes, but, why are you here?"
"Well, let's say that I'm here for your benefit and
your son's benefit."
865
"Leave my son out of this. I did this because I wanted

to. He had nothing to do with me protesting."
"That's not why I'm here, Mr. Siegfried."
"Then, why are you here?"
"Mr. Graves has been wanting to have a talk with you

for quite some time, hoping that you are more reasonable
than your son."
"Oh, I guess things didn't go too well, in court

yesterday, huh?"
"Only a minor setback, Mr. Siegfried. We intend to

pursue other means of returning the Barrett Estate to its
rightful owners. But, we're hoping it won't have to come
to that, so, he's sent me to appeal to your more seasoned
wisdom and rationality."
"Oh, you want me to convince my son to give up the

money. Do I look like I'm stupid?"
"No, Mr. Siegfried, but, I know that you love your son
and your future grandchild and his mother and would hate
to see anything happen to them."
As David Siegfried popped out of his chair, it flew

backwards and hit the floor with a bang. Christopher
Holland quivered and turned red.
866
"WHAT?!! YOU'RE THREATENING ME?!"
"SIT DOWN SIEGFRIED AND KEEP IT DOWN!"
"Okay, officer, you won't have to warn me again."
David picked up his chair and sat down looking

Christopher Holland directly in the eyes, without batting
an eye. He held his fists tightly, as if they held all the
rage he felt inside.
"You have the nerve to come into a jail and bribe and
threaten somebody? You're nothing but a no good, dirty,
crooked lawyer...a thug."
Holland cleared his throat and loosened his tie.
"I'm here on a business matter, Mr. Siegfried, that's

all. Mr. Graves wants to offer you a deal. He'll allow you
to keep some of the money. Ten million for your son and
twelve million for you if you make the deal."
David laughed.
"And what about Rachel and the baby?"
"Mr. Graves wants you to promise to never see his soon

to be wife again, or...or...the child. He'd like for you
to stay away from them from now on for publicity reasons."
David pretended to be deep in thought.
867
"Do you want time to think about it Mr. Siegfried? Mr.

Graves said that I can come back tomorrow, if you need
time."
"And, I bet you do everything that Mr. Graves tells you

to do, don't you? Well, pretend for a moment that I'm Mr.
Graves and I'm telling you to kiss my...."
"Mr. Siegfried, I believe I'm done here. If that's your

final answer. I'll let Mr. Graves know, but, my advice to
you is to reconsider, that is, if you truly love your
family. Mr. Graves is a very powerful, shrewd, and
ruthless man. Here's my card if you change your mind."
"NO! We're done here, but, you can tell MR. GRAVES,
that he hasn't heard the last from me. Now, get out of my
face! You sicken me."
"Officer, do I have time to make a phone call, if I'm

allowed to? I want to call my lawyer. I need to get out of
here."
David contacted his attorney and had money transferred

from his bank to pay for his bail and asked his attorney
to contact Hal's driver, Sam to pick him up from jail as
soon as he was released. After all the paperwork was done,
it was evening when he was released.
Sure, enough, when he exited the jail, loyal Sam was

waiting in front with curbside service, holding his cane
for him. He called out to him and waved.
868
"Did you bring my wallet, Sam?!"
"Sure did, Mr. Siegfried!"
As he approached the limousine, he saw Sam put his hand

inside of his suit jacket. Then, he heard two loud bangs
that almost shattered his eardrum. Sam's hand slid from
his jacket and his gun fell to the ground as he reached to
grasp his chest.
Without thinking, David bent down for the gun on the

ground, spun around quickly and pulled the trigger. The
bullet hit dead center through the forehead and the
shooter fell.
The smell of gun smoke filled his nostrils and he began

to cough. Crouching down, he grabbed Sam and pulled him
close to him. Still pointing the gun, he looked wildly
around him, ready to shoot, if he had to.
Three officers ran out of the building; their weapons

drawn and ready, while they searched for any continuing
threat. Seeing him, they shouted.
"PUT IT DOWN, SIR! PUT THE GUN DOWN! WE DON'T WANT TO

HAVE TO HURT YOU, BUT, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PUT THE GUN
DOWN! LET US TAKE CARE OF YOUR FRIEND!"
David was still in shock, but, he understood what was

happening and placed the gun down on the ground in front
of him and held his hands up in the air. An officer, went
over to the shooter, looked at him and shook her head at
the other officers. She didn't even bother to check his
869
pulse. Yes, he had died instantly and David Siegfried had

ended his life.
Moments later, sirens screamed through the air as more

officers arrived and soon after an ambulance. An officer
quickly secured the scene, keeping any bystanders or
pedestrians away.
"Stand up, slowly, sir, and keep your hands up."
David did the best he could to stand up without

lowering his arms. He watched the paramedics stabilize Sam
and place him upon the gurney. All the while, officers
were questioning him. His thoughts weren't all there. His
mind kept replaying the shooting over and over. He did his
best to answer; answering with one or two words. In
between he would say,
"He shot first. He shot first."
The coroner showed up and a forensics team. David was

handcuffed, read his rights and taken back into the police
station where he told them he had just been released. A
detective looked up his file and then began badgering him.
Something within him began to get through to him and he
spoke loud and clear.
"Please, call my lawyer. I want him present."
The detective looked in the file and laughed. "You'll

get your chance. You want to call this rookie attorney, in
your file here?"
870
"No, sir, I want my son to get our lawyers. I want to

call my son."
As a security measure, Steve and Jake had regular

check-in calls for all of their men who were out and
about. At seven p.m., Sam didn't check in, so someone was
sent to his last destination, the county jail to retrieve,
Hal's father.
After one week, four attorneys, two judges, and one

million dollars later, David Siegfried, once again saw the
light of day.
After leaving the police station, David, went straight

home and took the elevator up to his room, without saying
a word to anyone. He sat on his bed, still in shock, with
his eyes filled with tears. After a few minutes, Hal
tapped on his open door and approached him slowly.
David opened his mouth and tried to get words out, but,
they wouldn't come. Hal could see the pain and agony that
he was going through. Although, he felt guilty for the way
that he had behaved when he last saw his father, the love
and compassion he felt in his heart would not allow him to
just stand there and do nothing. He went to his father and
stood in front of him, wrapping his arms around him,
tightly. Finally, his father, took a deep breath and cried
out through his tears.
"I KILLED A MAN, HAL! I KILLED A MAN!... SON, I KILLED

A MAN!"
871
Hal squeezed his father even tighter.
"I knew all that money would come to no good. It's

changed both of us. That no good president, Willard
Graves, has cursed our whole family."
872
Episode 37
AUNTIE YONNY:
873

Episode 37
AUNTIE YONNY:
"SIEGFRIED! You've got a visitor. Let's go, old man!
"Yes, officer..."
"Come on, I don't have all day."
"Do you know who it is? It's not visiting hours. Is it

my attorney?"
"Listen...They don't pay me enough to keep tabs on

everybody. All I know is that it's some guy in a suit and
they sent me to get you."
"Thank you, officer. It must be my attorney."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah...maybe he'll take you with him, so I

don't have to listen to your yappin'.
"I have a neighbor back home who's a police officer.

He's a real nice guy. He used to tell me the craziest
stories about the calls he went on and the arrests he
874
made. Every Sunday that he wasn't working, he'd be the

first one to show up at church. One day I asked him,
"George, why are you always the first one here? He looked
at me and said, "Every day I go to work, I don't know if
I'll be coming home, but, each time that I do, I know it
was God. During my time on the force, I've seen men gunned
down, beaten down, and die from illness. Some people think
that they've beaten the odds, but, I know I'm here because
of God. You wonder why I'm the first one here? The answer
is, why should I be last? God has always been on time for
me."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah...nice story. Just sit down and talk

to your visitor."
"God loves you, officer and he's going to make

everything alright if you just lean and depend upon him.
Wait, officer, I don't know that man."
"Sit down, Siegfried!"
"Hello, are you with my attorney?"
"No, Mr. Siegfried. Let me introduce myself. I'm

Christopher Holland, an attorney for Mr. Derek Graves,
whom I'm sure you're familiar with. You were at his
campaign rally when you were arrested."
"Yes, but, why are you here?"
"Well, let's say that I'm here for your benefit and
your son's benefit."
875
"Leave my son out of this. I did this because I wanted

to. He had nothing to do with me protesting."
"That's not why I'm here, Mr. Siegfried."
"Then, why are you here?"
"Mr. Graves has been wanting to have a talk with you

for quite some time, hoping that you are more reasonable
than your son."
"Oh, I guess things didn't go too well, in court

yesterday, huh?"
"Only a minor setback, Mr. Siegfried. We intend to

pursue other means of returning the Barrett Estate to its
rightful owners. But, we're hoping it won't have to come
to that, so, he's sent me to appeal to your more seasoned
wisdom and rationality."
"Oh, you want me to convince my son to give up the

money. Do I look like I'm stupid?"
"No, Mr. Siegfried, but, I know that you love your son
and your future grandchild and his mother and would hate
to see anything happen to them."
As David Siegfried popped out of his chair, it flew

backwards and hit the floor with a bang. Christopher
Holland quivered and turned red.
"WHAT?!! YOU'RE THREATENING ME?!"
876
"SIT DOWN SIEGFRIED AND KEEP IT DOWN!"
"Okay, officer, you won't have to warn me again."
David picked up his chair and sat down looking

Christopher Holland directly in the eyes, without batting
an eye. He held his fists tightly, as if they held all the
rage he felt inside.
"You have the nerve to come into a jail and bribe and
threaten somebody? You're nothing but a no good, dirty,
crooked lawyer...a thug."
Holland cleared his throat and loosened his tie.
"I'm here on a business matter, Mr. Siegfried, that's

all. Mr. Graves wants to offer you a deal. He'll allow you
to keep some of the money. Ten million for your son and
twelve million for you if you make the deal."
David laughed.
"And what about Rachel and the baby?"
"Mr. Graves wants you to promise to never see his soon

to be wife again, or...or...the child. He'd like for you
to stay away from them from now on for publicity reasons."
David pretended to be deep in thought.
877
"Do you want time to think about it Mr. Siegfried? Mr.

Graves said that I can come back tomorrow, if you need
time."
"And, I bet you do everything that Mr. Graves tells you

to do, don't you? Well, pretend for a moment that I'm Mr.
Graves and I'm telling you to kiss my...."
"Mr. Siegfried, I believe I'm done here. If that's your

final answer. I'll let Mr. Graves know, but, my advice to
you is to reconsider, that is, if you truly love your
family. Mr. Graves is a very powerful, shrewd, and
ruthless man. Here's my card if you change your mind."
"NO! We're done here, but, you can tell MR. GRAVES,
that he hasn't heard the last from me. Now, get out of my
face! You sicken me."
"Officer, do I have time to make a phone call, if I'm

allowed to? I want to call my lawyer. I need to get out of
here."
David contacted his attorney and had money transferred

from his bank to pay for his bail and asked his attorney
to contact Hal's driver, Sam to pick him up from jail as
soon as he was released. After all the paperwork was done,
it was evening when he was released.
Sure, enough, when he exited the jail, loyal Sam was

waiting in front with curbside service, holding his cane
for him. He called out to him and waved.
"Did you bring my wallet, Sam?!"
878
"Sure did, Mr. Siegfried!"
As he approached the limousine, he saw Sam put his hand

inside of his suit jacket. Then, he heard two loud bangs
that almost shattered his eardrum. Sam's hand slid from
his jacket and his gun fell to the ground as he reached to
grasp his chest.
Without thinking, David bent down for the gun on the

ground, spun around quickly and pulled the trigger. The
bullet hit dead center through the forehead and the
shooter fell.
The smell of gun smoke filled his nostrils and he began

to cough. Crouching down, he grabbed Sam and pulled him
close to him. Still pointing the gun, he looked wildly
around him, ready to shoot, if he had to.
Three officers ran out of the building; their weapons

drawn and ready, while they searched for any continuing
threat. Seeing him, they shouted.
"PUT IT DOWN, SIR! PUT THE GUN DOWN! WE DON'T WANT TO

HAVE TO HURT YOU, BUT, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PUT THE GUN
DOWN! LET US TAKE CARE OF YOUR FRIEND!"
David was still in shock, but, he understood what was

happening and placed the gun down on the ground in front
of him and held his hands up in the air. An officer, went
over to the shooter, looked at him and shook her head at
the other officers. She didn't even bother to check his
pulse. Yes, he had died instantly and David Siegfried had
ended his life.
879
Moments later, sirens screamed through the air as more

officers arrived and soon after an ambulance. An officer
quickly secured the scene, keeping any bystanders or
pedestrians away.
"Stand up, slowly, sir, and keep your hands up."
David did the best he could to stand up without

lowering his arms. He watched the paramedics stabilize Sam
and place him upon the gurney. All the while, officers
were questioning him. His thoughts weren't all there. His
mind kept replaying the shooting over and over. He did his
best to answer; answering with one or two words. In
between he would say,
"He shot first. He shot first."
The coroner showed up and a forensics team. David was

handcuffed, read his rights and taken back into the police
station where he told them he had just been released. A
detective looked up his file and then began badgering him.
Something within him began to get through to him and he
spoke loud and clear.
"Please, call my lawyer. I want him present."
The detective looked in the file and laughed. "You'll

get your chance. You want to call this rookie attorney, in
your file here?"
"No, sir, I want my son to get our lawyers. I want to

call my son."
880
As a security measure, Steve and Jake had regular

check-in calls for all of their men who were out and
about. At seven p.m., Sam didn't check in, so someone was
sent to his last destination, the county jail to retrieve,
Hal's father.
After one week, four attorneys, two judges, and one

million dollars later, David Siegfried, once again saw the
light of day.
After leaving the police station, David, went straight

home and took the elevator up to his room, without saying
a word to anyone. He sat on his bed, still in shock, with
his eyes filled with tears. After a few minutes, Hal
tapped on his open door and approached him slowly.
David opened his mouth and tried to get words out, but,
they wouldn't come. Hal could see the pain and agony that
he was going through. Although, he felt guilty for the way
that he had behaved when he last saw his father, the love
and compassion he felt in his heart would not allow him to
just stand there and do nothing. He went to his father and
stood in front of him, wrapping his arms around him,
tightly. Finally, his father, took a deep breath and cried
out through his tears.
"I KILLED A MAN, HAL! I KILLED A MAN!... SON, I KILLED

A MAN!"
Hal squeezed his father even tighter.
881
"I knew all that money would come to no good. It's

changed both of us. That no good president, Willard
Graves, has cursed our whole family."
882
Episode 38
Part 1
AUNTIE YONNY: THINGS HAVE CHANGED
883

Episode 38
Part 1
AUNTIE YONNY: THINGS HAVE CHANGED
"Have you talked to Rachel, Hal?"
"She won't return my calls, Dad."
"Maybe she can't."
"What do you mean, she can't? Is she alright?"
"Yes......I mean, I-I-I don't know. When Derek sent

his attorney to threaten us, he said that if I didn't
convince you to give up the money, that something might
happen to you, Rachel and the baby..."
"The baby?! They didn't tell me that part. He

threatened to harm Zenobia and the baby?"
"No, Hal, not Zenobia and her baby."
"Then, what baby? Is Rachel pregnant?...Derek would

harm his own baby?"
"No, Hal. Please, just let me finish...It's your baby.
884
That's why I started seeing Rachel."
"WHAA...DAD?! YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT MY OWN BABY?!!I

DON'T BELIEVE YOU! YOU DEFINITELY AREN'T THE SAME FATHER
THAT RAISED ME! HOW COULD YOU KEEP SOMETHING LIKE THAT
FROM ME?"
"SHHH...Keep it down, Hal. We have to be very sensitive

to Zenobia's feelings...I didn't tell anyone else, not
even the lawyers. When I found out, I couldn't tell you.
Rachel made me promise not to say anything until she was
ready to do it herself. I...I was afraid that she wouldn't
let me see the baby if I said something."
"But, didn't you think I would want to know and do

something? I'm your son and you taught me to be
responsible for my actions. Remember?"
"I know, son, but she insisted because of you and

Zenobia..."
"Me and Zenobia?! That has nothing to do with me and

Rachel if she's pregnant with my baby!"
"Hal! Listen! You've got a lot to learn about women.

She came to the house the day I found out about you and
Zenobia. We both found out at the same time. It was her at
the door. I had asked her to come that morning to tell you
about the baby, but, then...then, she saw you and Zenobia
kissing. She's still in love with you, Hal. It's too
painful for her. She won't admit it, but..."
"Too painful for her, so she won't tell me that I'm the
885
father of her child? If she's still in love with me then,

why is she marrying Derek? DEREK! OH NO! Dad, this can't
happen. She can't marry Derek with my baby! Does he know?"
"Yes, he knows. That's why he sent his lawyer to

threaten us. He doesn't love Rachel and you know he
doesn't want that baby. He wants to torment you!"
"But, he still doesn't know that we're cousins, does

he?"
"No, and Rachel doesn't know, either. She probably

wouldn't be with him if she knew."
"And you still didn't think that it was important

enough to tell her that she's marrying my cousin and her
future children would be cousins and siblings?"
"I wanted to, but...uh...then, I began to think of her

as my daughter. The daughter I never had and we became
very close. Hal, I enjoy being around her and doing things
for her. I know I sound like a foolish old man,
but...Please, forgive me, Hal. But, you didn't want me to
tell anyone either. It would have ruined things for you
and put you in danger sooner."
"Dad, I don't know that it ever made any difference

once all the money was handed over to me. They had planned
to kill me, anyway...but...IF DEREK DOES ANYTHING TO
RACHEL AND MY BABY...
Hal was beside himself with worry and the stress in his
voice showed how much he cared. He sat down on the bed
886
next to his father, holding his face in his hands, then,

began pulling and clenching his hair.
"Your mother said that you came out of the womb doing
that and you were probably pulling the little hairs on
your head when you were inside of her. Lord, how I miss
that woman. I love her, but, I didn't always do right by
her."
Hal looked up.
"She needs to know, Dad. Rachel needs to know she's in

danger. It's my fault, I could have told her everything a
long time ago and none of this would have ever happened."
We'll tell her now, son, if we can get to her. Derek

told me to stay away from her and the baby forever."
"He can't do that! If Rachel and my baby are in danger,

then, we've got to do something. We can't just let her
marry him!"
"He made bribes and threats inside of a jail and sent a

hit man to kill me in front of the jail. Derek thinks he
can do anything. He's got all kinds of crooked people
working for him. Somebody inside of that jail told him I
was there and the exact moment when I was getting out.
We've got to be smart, son. Smarter than, him. We'll get
to Rachel."
Suddenly, they heard something outside of the door,

that sounded like a muffled cry, then, footsteps running
down the hallway. They looked at one another, thinking the
887
same thing--Zenobia. Hal looked out of the door and saw

Zenobia running towards the stairway.
"Zenobia!...Zenobia! WAIT!"
"Dad, I've got to go to her. Who knows what she heard

and what she's thinking."
"I know, son. Go talk to her. We'll talk later. How is

Sam doing?"
"He's out of danger now. They're moving him to a

regular room at the hospital. He's being guarded."
"We've got to bring Steve and Jake in on this, too,

son."
"Steve and Jake! I thought you were against using them

to..."
"To protect ourselves? Things have changed, son, and so

have I. Go on, now. Hurry! Go find Zenobia."
When he felt that Hal was probably downstairs and the

coast was clear, David, reached into his pocket and pulled
out a revolver. Checking it carefully and securing the
safety, he placed it under his pillow and the extra boxes
of bullets in his bedside drawer. He had had time to think
about a lot of things while he was locked up in a cell.
Yes, he had a visceral fear of change that had placed
himself and others in danger. That fear had allowed change
to take on its present form and could no longer be
ignored. Things had definitely changed, which meant that
888
he had to change, also.
"Fear is not of God." he told himself, smoothing his

pillow and lying down upon the bed. "Lord, you didn't
change my life so that I could crawl into a hole and hide
from the enemy, while he wreaks havoc on the world.
Father, I ask you to continue to watch over my family and
extended family as we prepare to battle the enemy. Let us
not have anger, hatred, or vengeance within our hearts,
but, to fight to uphold the holiness and righteousness of
the Kingdom.
Forgive me, Lord, for continuously failing you and

thinking about my own feelings and desires. Guard my mind
and my tongue that I don't let the enemy lead me into
degradation and darkness.
Father, I know that you placed us in this position for

a reason. Strengthen us and guide us, Lord. Please
continue to keep my health, so that I may be of help to
others.
Have mercy on my children, but, do what you must do to

bring them closer to You. Teach us to love one another as
we should.
Lord, I pray for my enemy, for they know not what they
do. In their plotting and scheming out of greed and
hatred, they are blind and in darkness, not knowing that
they fight against God. You know their beginning and You
know their end. Have mercy, Lord.
Lead us with your wisdom and help us to endure. May all

that we suffer and sacrifice be for the glorification of
889
You and Your Kingdom. May we be drawn ever closer to Thee.

In Jesus' most precious name, I pray. Amen."
David Siegfried fell asleep, accepting that things had

changed, but knowing that with God, he would be ready to
handle those changes.
890
Episode 39
AUNTIE YONNY:
THINGS HAVE CHANGED, Part 2
891

Episode 39
AUNTIE YONNY:
THINGS HAVE CHANGED, Part 2
Zenobia ran out of the back door and kept running

without considering where she was going. She just wanted
to get away from what she had heard and hopefully away
from its reality. Not wanting Hal to find her, she went
into the enclosed gazebo in the garden and curled up in a
chair. She held back her tears and just stared out into
nowhere particularly, with a hardened face, wondering why
she had allowed this to happen to her. She couldn't help
thinking to herself...
"Was I so desperate for love and affection after Mrs.

Yanovich died? Was it that I needed someone to need me?
-Someone to help and to pour out my affection upon? I knew
he was in love with someone else. Why did I think that I
could make him forget about her so quickly? Why did I
stray so far from God?" The questions kept flowing and
Zenobia absorbed all of the guilt, shame, and pain that
they brought.
After looking all over the mansion and questioning all

the employees working that day, Hal called security and
asked if they saw Zenobia leave the premises. Thanks to
the outside cameras, one of the security guards saw her
entering the gazebo. Hal hurried downstairs and ran
outside. He opened the gazebo door and found Zenobia just
staring rigidly, with her eyes affixed to a leaf that had
892
been blown inside, lying on the floor, on the other side

of the gazebo. There was a glassy look in her eyes that
almost looked frightening. Hal approached her carefully
and knelt down in front of her. She didn't acknowledge his
presence and barely batted an eye.
He tried to hold her hand and she snatched it away,

tucking it under her arm. She still refused to look at
him. He sat down on the floor, close to her and began to
stare at the leaf that seemed to keep her mesmerized,
locked in a spell. After, staring at it for a minute, he
closed and rubbed his eyes, lowering his head, shaking it
back and forth. He also was tormented with guilt, shame,
and pain, as he blamed himself for ruining Zenobia and
Rachel's life and possibly the lives of his children.
Inside of his mind, he began to ask questions and just
like in his other moments of desperation, he decided to
talk, not to God, but, at God.
"Oh, God! Forgive me! What have I done? I never meant

to hurt Zenobia. She doesn't deserve this. Help her, God!
Please, help her! I'm so sorry. I didn't want things to
happen like this. Please, tell me what to do. How can I
fix this? How can I help Zenobia and Rachel?"
The silence in the gazebo was broken by birds chirping

in a nearby tree. Zenobia snapped out of her trance for a
brief moment, then, looking at Hal, tears slowly began to
roll down her cheeks. As she batted her long lashes,
somehow, a teardrop fell upon Hal's neck paralyzing him
momentarily. The sudden shock of the moisture pierced his
heart and guilt took hold of him, shackling him to her
pain, the pain he had inflicted upon this beautiful woman
who only wanted to love him from her beautiful heart. Hal
knew that she had given up everything to be with him and
bear his child. Unable to bear her tears, he spoke through
893
the pain that pierced his heart.
"I love you, Zenobia. I'm not going to leave you. I'm
sorry for everything that's happened, but, I can't make it
go away."
For some reason, Zenobia burst into laughter amidst her

tears. The thought of Hal making everything go away seemed
funny to her. Hal was perplexed at her reaction. He hadn't
meant it to be funny at all and could see no reason why
she did.
Zenobia was so conflicted she didn't know what she was

feeling. -Anger? -Jealousy? At first, when she overheard
Hal and his father secretly planning to rescue Rachel, she
felt hurt that Hal had betrayed her trust and love for
him. Then, hearing that she presented a problem for them
because of her being there, she was shocked and appalled.
She hadn't intended to ease drop upon their conversation,
but, she was stunned by what she had heard, and for a
while, unable to move or speak.
With the baby on the way and marriage plans, this was
supposed to be a special time for her and Hal. Now, she
shared their moment of intimacy, expectancy, and future
joy, with another woman. She wanted to be the one to bring
happiness to Hal and be the mother of his children. That
hope had been robbed from her.
But, then, Hal was a Graves and she knew too well the
burden of sorrow and guilt that name carried. Caring for
Tanya Yanovich, she had watched part of the Graves Saga
play out before her eyes. She had tried to steer Tanya
away from all of the chaos and evil and bring her closer
to God, but, now, it seemed that they had succeeded in
894
tearing her away from God. At that moment, she felt an

insurmountable barrier between her and her Heavenly
Father. Even more, she felt that the distance between her
and God was compounded by her inability to find the
strength and will to seek him. Her heart was broken and
her body was weakened by the anger that had taken hold of
it. Out of frustration, her anger grew, knowing that she
had dived into a pool that was already teeming with pariah
who sucked the life out of everyone they came into contact
with.
In order to deal with her pain and pride, Zenobia

hardened herself even more. She knew that she hadn't
looked before she leaped. She believed Hal would be
different, having not been raised as a Graves. Overwhelmed
with resentment and anger, she looked down at Hal sitting
on the floor next to her. Feeling the baby move inside of
her, she tensed up, dug her nails into the palm of her
hands and bit down hard upon her lip. She knew that she
was feeling false labor pains. It was still too early,
but, perhaps her running and exerting pressure on the baby
had caused the pains.
Life with Hal Siegfried was not what she had expected.
Right now, she wasn't even sure that she was in love with
him. What did it matter? She thought. She didn't want to
face reality, but, she knew that she would never be the
only woman in Hal's life. The pains became more intense as
did her loathing having Hal so close beside her then. In
her heart, she knew that it wasn't godly thinking, but,
placing some of the blame elsewhere, made her own pain
more bearable.
They sat in the gazebo for what seemed like hours,

until Zenobia had drifted off to sleep and Hal's phone
rang. Answering it as quickly as he could, he whispered to
895
Jake that he would come in the house in a moment with

Zenobia, then, hung up. Carefully, trying not to wake
Zenobia, he picked her up and carried her into the house
all the way to their bedroom and placed her gently upon
the bed. Zenobia felt herself being lifted and carried
away, but, she was too tired, mentally and physically to
resist. Covering her with a blanket, Hal kissed her
stomach and her forehead. All the while, torturing himself
with the question,"What have I done?"
Jake was standing outside of the study, looking very

anxious. Hal took him inside and told him to have a seat.
"What is it Jake?"
"There's been a rash of break-ins at the offices. At

first, we didn't think much of it, but, now we see there
is a pattern..."
"-A pattern? What are they stealing or looking for?

Corporate secrets?"
"That's what we thought, and...and maybe that we have

corporate spies working inside...."
"Spies? We have corporate spies? Have we halted hiring

new people?"
"Uh...temporarily...but, that doesn't work. There's

always somebody not satisfied with their job, in need of
money, or, who has a grudge against somebody, usually,
people who are long time employees or who have been
employed for a while. It doesn't take much to recruit
896
somebody filled with hatred or greed and turn them into a

corporate spy. Then, you have your professionals who know
how to dig in and wait for their chance to steal something
of value.
Good news is, no equipment has come up damaged or

missing, and there hasn't been any vandalism. But, then,
there's the bad news, which I've already told you. There
is no doubting that they are after information. We've
upped security in the Information Technology Department
and limited security clearance for classified information.
We're placing our best guy over securing all interoffice
networks, reigning in internet cloud access, and rerouting
transmissions to pass through monitoring stations. IT
assures me that we have state-of-the-art equipment and
software, but, I don't trust it. If we're in a cyber war,
then, I think we need just as many people trained in
hacking software and tracing hackers as there are people
trained to write programs and maintain the software and
equipment. What do you think boss?"
Hal stood up and looked out of the window, hearing

Tanya Yanovich's frail voice echoing throughout his mind,
saying, "They're coming for you, Hal! They're coming for
you! Be ready!" Tanya had warned him about corporate spies
and hacking. "They usually end in one way, Hal, complete
take-overs, or, so much damage that they put you out of
business. Either way, you're the loser. You've got to
strike back and counterattack as quickly as possible and
strike back hard!" When Hal heard those words, he could
only think of how much Tanya sounded like her father,
President Willard Graves. It had struck a sour note with
him. He didn't want to become like Willard Graves, but,
now, he saw that he must fight back to protect his family.
Reaching into his desk drawer and taking out a key that
897
opened a cabinet behind him, which housed a small safe, he

couldn't believe what he was about to do. After keying in
the code to the safe, he pulled out his old notebook,
which held Tanya's contacts. He leafed through the
notebook until he found the pages for Wall Street
contacts, corporate spies, and hacker contacts. The last
page contained information about the box, which Hal hoped
he would never have to use. Closing the door to the study,
he took a seat next to Jake and began to devise a plan to
catch a thief and counterattack those behind the office
break-ins.
*******************************************************
In the wee hours of the morning, Hal left the study

with Jake and Steve. Steve had joined them later that
night. They checked with the night guards, said goodnight,
and made their way to bed. Too tired to shower, Hal
removed his clothes and slid into bed next to Zenobia.
Sensing his presence, she turned her back on him. Feeling
the rejection, Hal's heart ached, but, surprisingly, sleep
came easy to him that night.
It had been a tiring day filled with the unexpected and

unforgettable. However, within the sleep that had welcomed
him came heaviness, which carried heavy dreams, coming at
him hard, wave after wave. Amidst the pounding of
corporate espionage, treason and waves of uncertainty
washing over his mind, lurked an ambitious and treacherous
foe, branching out in all directions weaving a tangled
web. As he chased the elusive spider, trying hard not to
be the fly caught within its sticky, cleverly woven trap,
Hal's heart pounded within his chest; a constant reminder
that his life was in jeopardy. Those around him knew that
898
he already knew too much. He had to find the spider before

it found him. --But, then, what? Would he have enough
information to expose him? The lurid details of cover-up,
involving murders upon multiple continents caused him to
fight off the effects of these unwanted visualizations,
like fighting off the effects of being drugged. He fought
to become conscious to no avail.
After tossing and turning and thrashing about, a new

dream emerged, as if he'd simply turned the page of a spy
novel. The Chinese food he had stopped for on the way
home, reappeared to him in his dream, placing him in a
traditional Chinese restaurant, filled with shady
characters.
Seated at a side table, near the door, he glanced over

the menu which listed various fashion designers and
clothing brands, whom amongst them was Tanya Graves. He
knew this was odd, but didn't quite know how it fit in
with the current situation. He would make a mental note of
it for future reference as he always did.
He opened a fortune cookie from the bowl in front of

him. The fortune read, "You will be smart enough to stay
ahead of the game and out-fox the foxes." It was signed,
Tanya.
Hal dropped the slip of paper and looked around him. He

remembered Tanya saying that her father always thought
that he was smart enough to out-fox the foxes. Hal knew
that Tanya had left this message for him. Was it a
warning? Tanya had told him that the mistakes her father
had made were due to his arrogant thinking and believing
he was so smart that he could out-smart anyone and
everyone.
899
Now, Hal found himself weaving and dodging, trying to

stay ahead of those in pursuit. He was tormented even more
by the hideous, ghostly image of Tanya Graves that haunted
him, eerily appearing in windows and reflections, even
more ghastly than she looked upon her deathbed. The
apparition angrily screamed at him, from its gaping,
drooling mouth, "Expose them! Expose them!"
Hal was shaking the images from his mind when, an

elderly Chinese woman slowly approached his table, her
head slightly tilted to the right. She smiled with several
gold teeth gleaming at him. Hairs stood up on Hal's arms
as he felt like he was on the menu to be chewed by those
golden teeth. An uneasy feeling came upon him, as if he
was being watched from behind the stainless steel kitchen
door behind her. He had saved himself more than once by
acting on his gut feelings and this didn't feel right. He
politely apologized for having to leave and excused
himself, as he headed for the door.
Not looking back, he began to run. Not knowing if he

was being chased, still, he kept running. Several city
blocks away, he stopped to catch his breath. Folded over,
gripping his ankles, he peered down the street, from in
between his legs and saw a car behind him stop and a man
stick his head out of the window and point at him.
Somehow, he managed to make his shaking and fatigued

legs run even faster and almost ran into a fashionable
couple dressed for a night out. The man jumped from the
curb into an oily, murky puddle, pulling his curvaceous
partner close to him.
Concerned with their well-being, Hal managed a brief
900
glance back their way, just long enough to see anger upon
the man's face and a shocked woman still trying to process
what was going on.
Filled with remorse, Hal knew that time and

circumstances didn't allow for long apologies. He directed
a heartfelt, "I'm sorry," their way, then, rapidly
assessed his whereabouts and headed into a dark alley to
catch his breath.
Sweat poured down his face and into his eyes from his
drenched eyebrows. His eyes stung from the salty sweat.
Pulling out his t-shirt to wipe his face, he squatted to
relax the muscles in his legs. They weren't use to all of
this exercise and neither was he.
The image of the couple reappeared in his mind. As he

arose and began walking, sinking deeper into the darkness
of the alley, belated feelings of despair and helplessness
overwhelmed him, filling his eyes with tears. The
expressions on the couple's faces mirrored his own
feelings. Panting heavily, he clinched his hands into
fists. Yes, he felt angry, shocked and disgusted; angry
for allowing himself to be led into a trap and furious at
the way people had barged into his life, with no regard
for his safety and those closest to him.
He followed the alley to the lighted street at the

other end. Hearing a car just turning into the alley from
behind him, his tired and wobbly legs, instinctively
started running, while he still looked behind.
A second later, Hal felt that his heart might jump

twenty feet, if it hadn't been caged in. A driver was
laying their hand on the car horn, as he ran directly
901
toward their moving vehicle. He whipped his head in front

of him staring into blinding and flashing bright
headlights.
With a jerk that left him breathless, Hal brought

himself to a full stop in front of the burning tires that
screeched and swerved in front of him, which finally
stopped and missed his rigid body by less than an inch.
Hal's mind finally caught up with reality and realized
he'd come within an inch of his life. A dark figure flung
open the passenger door and stood holding a gun behind the
door.
Hal's legs felt weak and he felt himself collapsing in

slow motion, but, at that moment, he awoke, sweating and
thirsty. He covered his face with his hands, then began
gripping and pulling his hair in agony screaming within
his mind, "The dreams have returned!" The same dreams over
and over again, night after night; the dreams that had
stolen his rest and peace of mind, awakening him in fear
and terror; and keeping him awake for hour upon hour, had
returned.
The pillow beneath his head was soaked with sweat, as

were the sheets on his side of the bed. He threw the
coverings off of him, exposing Zenobia's back.
Instinctively, she drew the quilt up around herself and
curled into a ball. For a few minutes, Hal watched Zenobia
sleep, then, sat on the edge of the bed thinking about
what was ahead for all of them. Be Careful What You Wish
For. He remembered seeing the epitaph written upon the
marble grave marker that stood atop his grave in his
dreams.
Feeling haunted and unnerved, he was unable to go back

to sleep. He took his nightmarish memories and dreadful
902
visions of the future into the shower with him. He stood

beneath the pounding water, losing track of time, hoping
to wash away the worries that tormented his heart and
tortured his mind.
Thoughts of Rachel having a baby inside of her who was

a part of him gave him mixed feelings of joy, guilt and
regret. What did Rachel look like as an expecting mother?
Was the baby a girl or a boy? Was Rachel safe tonight? Was
she happy? Then, he thought of Zenobia lying in the next
room. Guilt and remorse filled his gut and laid there like
a heavy stone. Then, thinking of Derek, Everett, and
Conner Graves, his feelings changed and he began to think
about revenge and the plan they had devised to stop their
treachery. But, the haunting voice of Auntie Tanya came
back to remind him, "Never make it personal, Hal. You'll
make mistakes." How could it not be personal with Rachel,
Zenobia and his children's lives at stake?
He knew he risked becoming the evil that he fought

against to destroy. He was finding out oh, too well, that
having wealth and keeping wealth wasn't easy. As if you
were a crab in a barrel full of crabs, there was always
somebody trying to crawl over you in the barrel to get to
the top.
Miriam and Auntie Tanya had said that what he was being
asked to do was to defeat evil while keeping a pure heart.
He felt more than ever that he wasn't qualified for the
job, because, his heart was already too corrupted by evil.
Still, he had to try for the sake of those who depended
upon him and for those whom he loved, including...Rachel.
There wasn't a day that went buy that Hal didn't think
about his Grandpa Siegfried in some way. Sometimes, he
wondered if it was his way of remembering God, indirectly.
903
He wasn't quite ready for a direct relationship with God.

But, thoughts of Grandpa Siegfried always led to God. Now,
it seemed that thoughts of Rachel led to Grandpa Siegfried
and vice a versa, with them both leading him to God. He
felt that he had been a bad influence upon Zenobia,
pulling her away from God to have her all to himself.
That's what he had tried to do to Rachel, also. Everything
had been all about him and he had ruined things for a lot
of people.
Grandpa Siegfried wasn't a particularly good singer,

but he certainly was the loudest when it came to singing
one of his favorite songs. He could be heard above
everyone else singing, "Only what you do for Christ will
last!" There was always a smile spread across his face
showing all of the teeth that he still had left and he
moved his arms clumsily, in an attempt to direct the
choir. He had no shame in his actions for he was acting
out his belief. He truly believed that what he did was for
Christ and that that was the only way to live. Hal knew
that he had been living for himself and that although he
wrote about controversial events and dire circumstances,
he basically lived for himself.
Turning the shower off, Hal stared down at the drain,

watching the water as it came from all directions to merge
upon one path, flowing to a single destination. Lifting
his eyes and breaking the trance, he shook the water from
his hair and grabbed a towel to wipe his eyes. Then, as if
Grandpa Siegfried stood there singing before him, he was
faced with the question as to how he could make his
actions and life be for Christ. He couldn't even tell law
enforcement about what he and his small army were about to
do. How could he make his relationship with Zenobia and
Rachel be for Christ? He was lost. He had no idea how
anything in his life resembled godliness. Too much had
changed within him and around him. Then, it dawned upon
904
him. Like a feather gently settling upon the ground, an

idea landed within his mind. Perhaps, it was a divine
idea. Perhaps, it was Divine intervention. Nevertheless,
it was a spark of light that had helped him to find a way
to help Rachel.
905
Episode 40
AUNTIE YONNY: SPIRITUAL SACRIFICES
906

Episode 40
AUNTIE YONNY: SPIRITUAL SACRIFICES
1 Peter 2:4-6(KJV)
4 To whom coming, as unto a living stone,

disallowed indeed of men, but chosen of God, and
precious,
5 Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a

spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up
spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus
Christ.
6 Wherefore also it is contained in the scripture,

Behold, I lay in Sion a chief corner stone, elect,
precious: and he that believeth on him shall not be
confounded.
It had been there all along, but, undetectable to the

naked eye. She had been a brilliant, promising student,
with a bright future ahead of her. All of her life, she
had worked hard to make something out of herself and to
support her struggling family. As a little girl, she took
in laundry and babysat to earn money to support her
family. Later, she worked in a department store, while she
attended secondary school. During college, she was bright
enough to keep up her studies, while she was working, but,
she had to spend long nights studying to stand out above
the other students. Yet, she had managed to escape the
illness that lurked within her, which had stolen her
907
mother from her.
Zenobia had a strong mind, but, she knew that even that
was not enough to stand against the weakness of the body,
without God. Still, in her weakness, she felt disconnected
from God. It's hard to tell when she actually fell to the
illness, or what actually triggered the chemicals within
her body. It could have been stress upon her body from the
pregnancy; the morning sickness, or false labor pains. It
could have been the pain of a broken heart. We can look
for blame, but, does blame solve any problem? Will blame
cure any illness? By looking for blame, we ignore factual
evidence and prolong illness and suffering. Blame is a
distraction of darkness intended to keep us in bondage.
Zenobia, was a nurse practitioner, who dealt in

physical and factual evidence. However, as prepared as she
was in any event to tackle medical problems, she was
unprepared to fight against and defend her body from the
illness within herself. Being an excellent medical
professional, after thorough examination, she was able to
detect physical and mental illnesses within patients.
However, at first she didn't recognize the symptoms

within herself and attributed her moodiness to her
pregnancy. She knew that her pregnant body needed more
rest than before she became pregnant, so, she wasn't
concerned about sleeping so long or more frequently. The
irritability and inability to focus and concentrate on
tasks was normal she told herself and would pass after the
baby's birth. But, soon, she began canceling more and more
appointments and events, until, there were no activities
in her life. She lost interest in decorating the house and
overseeing the household employees. Everything would
change and go back to normal, once the baby was born, she
kept trying to convince herself. However, things appeared
908
to be getting worse. She just couldn't handle things

anymore.
Furthermore, there was too much going on around her and

her mind couldn't take it. She couldn't accept the things
going on around her. Everything within her told her that
they were wrong. She had no peace from within or from
without her being. Still, she gathered within her
intelligence and rationale that she could handle it after
the baby's birth.
Yes, she had always had to be strong and in control of

her life to help everyone else around her. Her mother,
brothers and sisters had depended upon her. She had to be
strong! She was trying to find that unwavering strength
within her now, but, it was not what it used to be and at
times, it was not to be found. She could be found each
morning or afternoon (if she had slept late), sitting in
the gazebo, thinking. Everyone thought that it was because
of what was going on between her and Hal, and so did she.
Before her pregnancy and even as a child, Zenobia could

distract herself from those things that weren't right
around her; those things that she couldn't accept. She
distracted herself by working and studying. If things got
tough, she worked and studied even harder. But, she didn't
have her work to get lost within anymore and her illness
had progressed to the point it was the distraction.
Then, one morning she awoke from a dream and felt the
baby kicking and moving around inside of her. The dream
had been disturbing. She saw her mother crying and
remembered her mother cried almost everyday. It began
after her father died and never ceased, therefore, she
believed that her mother grieved for her father everyday
because she loved him so much. Then, in medical school she
909
learned about depression and realized that her mother was

a manic depressant. She wished that she had known when she
was younger and perhaps, they could have gotten her help,
before her body succumbed to physical illnesses that took
her away from her family and eventually killed her at an
early age.
Now, Zenobia subconsciously tried to keep anything

reminding her of the struggles of her youth out of sight
and out of mind. She managed to put her childhood behind
her and push all of her sacrifices for her family to the
back of her mind, keeping in the pain, instead of
accepting them as part of her; that part of her that God
had allowed to give her strength and to keep her close to
him. She loved her siblings, but, she would rather call
them, or, send money and cards, than to have long intimate
visits.
In her dream, she lived out her life in a spiraling

shell. Entrapped within it, Zenobia felt like she was in
an endless maze. As she ran, trying to escape, an angel
came to her and told her that the only way out of the maze
was to make spiritual sacrifices to God.
*********************************************************
Hal had never experienced anything like this before. He

didn't know that his mother had kept her depression a
secret from him and he had been too young to understand
what was going on.
After that terrible day in the gazebo, Hal didn't know

how to approach Zenobia. She barely had contact with
anyone. She stayed away from him and his father as much as
possible. She'd take her meals in their bedroom or outside
910
in the gazebo. The gazebo became her refuge and escape

from reality and their relationship suffered for it.
Too wrapped up in anger and plotting revenge against

Derek Graves and the Barretts, along with being filled
with so much guilt and anguish from his relationship with
Zenobia and Rachel, Hal's heart was hardened and he was
blinded from seeing what was really happening to Zenobia.
Sometimes, during his frustration, he would hear Auntie
Tanya telling him, "Stay away from women." During those
moments, he wished that he had listened to her and stayed
away from Rachel and Zenobia. He left Zenobia to her own
devices of misery and suffering, while he too tortured
himself. The two of them were void of unconditional love
and disconnected from God.
Time and time again we don't see ourselves complicating

our own lives, when, God has made it so very simple for us
to lean upon Him and be guided by His wisdom and love. Had
Zenobia and Hal done this, it would have been quite a
different story. However, they were caught up within their
own flesh, the love of themselves, and the world.
They had both been willing to give themselves to one

another physically and emotionally, but, neither was
willing to sacrifice themselves for the other, or to God,
spiritually. Thus, they lived with a void within, which is
all the world had to offer them.
*******************************************************
**
911
Episode 41
AUNTIE YONNY: THE LETTER
912

Episode 41
AUNTIE YONNY: THE LETTER
Hal left early for a conference call with his chief

executive officers concerning the office break-ins and
tightening security within all of their business holdings.
He also had a meeting later in the day with a gentleman on
Wall Street, one of Tanya Yanovich's business contacts.
With Sam still recuperating from his gunshot wounds and
surgery, his bodyguard, Vince, had been doing most of the
chauffeuring. Steve and Jake didn't want to bring anybody
new in to fill in for Sam. It was too much of a risk. They
had moved another bodyguard, whom they trusted, to help
Martin guard, Hal's father, but, they knew too much
shifting around could change routines, create gaps, and
produce costly and detrimental errors.
While on his way to work, Hal's phone rang.
"Hal? It's Natalie. Have you read our paper this

morning?"
"Good morning, Natalie. I'm reading it now."
"Okay, I wanted to know how you think the new editor is

doing."
"Sales are still good, right?"
913
"Well...yeah...but...do you think he's taking the paper

in the right direction?"
"From what I've been reading, he's doing fine. We

should be able to hire a couple more good journalists and
start to expand."
"Expand?! I can hardly handle this! This old building

is falling down around us and pretty soon we'll be buried
beneath it. I want to make repairs, but, we have to meet
building codes and stay within historical building
guidelines. I don't have that kind of money in the budget
and..."
"NATALIE! Natalie! Alright! I know what you're hinting

at. I'll pay for the building restoration and don't worry
Natalie, we'll proceed slowly with the expansion and get
good people to help you. I'll have Darla call you today to
discuss getting things started on the building
restorations. We'll hire professionals in historical
building restoration. Don't worry about costs right now.
Talk to you later. Bye."
"WAIT!"
"What is it, Natalie?"
"Well, uh...I heard about all the trouble your father

is having and how Sam got shot and all the office break-
ins and ..."
"Yes, but, their doing better, now, and we've got it
914
under control."
"Hal, you and I know who's behind all of this and it's
not going away that easily. Let me help you..."
"I don't want to involve you, Natalie. It's too

dangerous..."
"Wait, just listen...I have something; something that

Derek Graves doesn't want released right now. My father
had been keeping it as security. He got it from my
grandfather...uh, you know...everybody calls him the Mad
Hatter, It has to do with President Willard Graves and the
2016 campaign..."
"I think I know what you're talking about Natalie and

that would put you and the paper in the line of fire.
Derek Graves would come after you. and I can't risk having
someone else injured or killed."
"I'm not asking you, Hal. I'm telling you. And, I can
take care of myself. I'm going to publish everything with
you or without you. It's time somebody stopped the Graves
Family from getting away with crimes and murders. I'd
rather do this with you. I don't want the new editor
handling it. I'm not ready to trust him one hundred
percent."
"Natalie..."
"Hal, I'm telling you that I've got to do this! My

grandfather was as crazy as Willard Graves! Our family is
just as much as responsible for what happened in this
915
country. We were his benefactors and helped him to win the

presidency. My grandfather pushed all of that stupid,
selfish, and irrational legislature that sent this country
backwards and endangered the entire welfare of the planet.
He helped to kill millions upon millions of people and
wildlife. We owe it to the world and it's time to pay our
debt, Hal. So, I'm going to release the evidence that the
2016 election was rigged and people will see Derek and the
Graves Family for what they are--criminals!"
"Okay, okay, Natalie! I see that I have no say in this,

but, I won't let you do it alone. We'll work on it
together and I want you to be protected from now on,
especially while we're working on this project."
"Oh, goody! I get a bodyguard! Thanks, Hal!"
Hal wasn't quite sure if Natalie thought this was all

just a game and didn't understand the seriousness of the
matter, or, if Natalie just couldn't help being...Natalie.
"I'll call you later, Natalie. Have a good day."
"Bye, Hal! You're the best! Muah!"
Hal hung up the phone not welcoming the idea of having

to spend hour upon hour alone, listening to Natalie
Tiledeler and fighting off her unwanted sexual advances.
"Jeesh, I've got to find somebody else who can be in

the room in between me and that obnoxious, flirtatious
woman!"
916
Through the rear-view mirror, Vince could see Hal's

face and began to laugh.
"Don't worry, boss. I'm your bodyguard. I'll protect

you from the little lady."
Hal, rolled up his newspaper and started whacking Vince

with it, while the two of them laughed and joked all the
way to the office.
Always the first to show up at the office, Darla was

waiting for Hal, when he arrived.
"Good morning, Darla! How are you today?!"
"Good morning. I'm fine, Hal, but, we have a busy day

ahead of us with paperwork and then there is the
conference call. I don't know how long you'll be in there,
but, I need you to look over some things to finalize them
before you have to leave on your trip overseas."
"Fine, Darla. We'll get it done. First, can you call

Natalie Tiledeler and arrange a meeting to discuss
restoration of the old Tribune building, please? Have
someone research contractors and architects who are known
experts in historical building restoration, then, get me
their names and backgrounds. Contact the Finance
Department and see how much we have in the budget for
renovations or building of any kind or if we can move
money around.
I'm starting a new project with Natalie Tiledeler, so

I'll need my evenings to be free for a while. Please ask
917
Karen if she will be free in the evenings to work with me

and Ms. Tiledeler and if not, to please find someone else
to fill in for her."
"She'll be here today, Hal. You know that she's always

late. You really should..."
"I hate to pile so much upon you, Darla, but...this

last thing is very important and confidential. I'd like
you to call a Pastor Allen Fitzgerald at The Discipleship
Church on Merrimont Drive. His number should be listed.
Please request a meeting to discuss a substantial donation
to the church. Tell him that I will be accompanied by my
father, David Siegfried, Jr."
Darla wrote quickly upon her electronic pad and looked

up to Hal, waiting for further instructions.
"That's all. Thank you Darla. I don't know what I would

do without you."
Pleased with the thought of being so indispensable,

Darla gave Hal a genuine smile and headed toward her
office. She passed Karen, who was getting off of the
elevator. Karen always arrived on the hour or a few
minutes late. Darla rolled her eyes at her and kept going.
Karen knew that if it weren't for Hal, she would have

been fired long ago. Darla had no patience or tolerance
for anyone she saw as flawed and for her, that covered
most of the people in the world. Karen had discovered that
in Darla's mind, if you didn't work as she did, then, you
had no work ethic and simply weren't professional and
worthy of employment. She was always filled with anxiety
918
when Darla was around and it didn't help to make her

appear less inadequate in Darla's eyes.
THE LETTER
Trying to shield herself from Darla's rudeness and

intended insult, Karen hurried to her office and quickly
threw her coat aside and settled into work. Grabbing the
mail, she noticed the letter on top was stamped
CONFIDENTIAL, followed in writing by, Mr. Harold (Hal)
Siegfried Only. The return address listed Tanya Yanovich
at her New York city address. Without opening the rest of
the mail, Karen, got up from her desk and hurried to Hal's
office and knocked on the door.
"Mr. Siegfried? It's Karen."
"Come right in Karen. Good morning! How are you?"
"I'm fine, but, I have a strange letter here that says

it's from Tanya Yanovich."
Startled, Hal thought it was strange indeed , but,

also, that it might be dangerous and perhaps filled with a
deadly bacteria, toxin, or virus.
"You didn't open it, did you?!"
Filled with anxiety, Karen was on the verge of tears.
"Wh-Why...uh...no...It said confidential. I-I-I w-

wanted to check with you first."
919
"I'm sorry Karen, I wasn't questioning your trust or

honesty. I'm concerned for your well-being. I'm worried
about mail that has been tampered with and that might
contain something deadly. I'd never forgive myself if
something like that happened to one of my employees
because of me. Do you know if this came directly from the
mail room?"
Karen was still feeling very hurt, but, quietly

replied.
"No...I-I mean, I don't know. It was on top of the

stack of mail."
"Okay, just...just go wash your hands thoroughly to be

on the safe side. I'm going to call security to check out
this letter before I open it."
"O-Okay, Mr. Siegfried."
Karen dashed out of the office toward the ladies

restroom and began washing her hands vigorously with
antibacterial soap. Hal contacted security and a veteran
Marine who had assisted in handling such problems came and
put the letter in a plastic bag and took it away. Three
hours later, the letter was returned to him marked --safe,
accompanied by a list of equipment and training that was
needed for testing the mail.
"Great! More money we have to spend to keep everyone

safe!" Hal grumbled, then, carefully opened the letter
that Auntie Tanya appeared to have written from the grave.
920
"Dear Hal,
If this letter has reached you, then, I have been dead

for a while. Hopefully, you and your father are well
and adjusting to your new lives. I can't express how
much I enjoyed spending time with you.
I've had my attorney send you this letter, the first

in a series, in order to guide you and to help keep
you on the right path. It's not that I don't trust you
or think you incapable of handling your affairs, but,
there are things that I could not tell you or that you
might not have understood until you were introduced to
them.
By now, you've probably figured out that the Russians

had all the information they needed to orchestrate
their plan and control the 2016 election. Was their
success 100% guaranteed? They weren't that optimistic,
but, they were pretty sure they had a good chance at
being successful in making my father president.
With voter registration information, the Russians

could control the districts that were needed to put
the votes in my father's favor. While everyone would
be worried about hacking into computers they had
devised other ways to turn the vote. Where there are
people, there are cellphones and plenty of them.
During this time, some people noticed their cellphones
behaving erratically, perhaps, flipping back to
previous data. Of course it would be attributed to
unstable signal reception and satellites and cellphone
company problems.
921
The Russian's plan involved scrambling signals that

would flip votes or turn the channel as they did with
televisions. Their technology allowed them to pass
through cellphone towers undetected because they had
hacked into cellphones with coded scripts to implant
controllable, undetected, and untraceable bots and
viruses.
They changed voter information to make it look like

that was their intent in order to suppress votes.
However, their databases contained the correct
information to later manipulate the election as they
chose to alter it. This is the information that the
Tiledeler's purchased--the correct votes that were
casts and the programming information that was
selectively transmitted to alter votes in favor of
Willard Graves. The Russian's and GOP's guarantee was
the Electoral College, which would be sure to vote for
Willard Graves. Of course my father not only knew,
but, we as a family along with others working for us,
assisted the Russians in guiding them in the social
media targeting process through our data and research.
Yes, some people noticed the machines flipping to

another candidate, believing the problem was within
the machines, but, it was their presence within the
voting booth and the proximity of a cellphone.
The illegal votes and districts targeted by the

Russian labs can be compared to the actual votes
counted that day. They will match.
No doubt, you have felt the treachery of the Graves

Family and realize that you can't be careful or
cautious enough. They must be stopped before history
is repeated. As before, not everyone will believe the
truth that is presented to them and right before their
922
eyes. It will be impossible to sway many of Derek's

voters who are filled with hatred, selfishness, and
greed. Nevertheless, we must use every means possible
to prevent the Graves Family from rising to
international power and profiting from the death and
misery of others, again.
My father was not stopped soon enough. The men that

he and Putin set in place around the globe to
manipulate politics and the economy were instrumental
in the devastation of entire countries. This will
happen again if Derek is elected. He already has ties
to corrupt politicians around the world.
I know I am asking a lot from someone who didn't ask

to be involved in any of this, let alone, to find out
that they were related to this infamous family of con
artists, racists, and hatemongers. However, I have
faith in the heart of the young man, whom I have
watched grow and demonstrate how he cares about the
world and others. It is in you Hal to become even
greater than who you can imagine yourself to be,
because, it is in you to truly love as God would have
us love one another.
With Love, Auntie Tanya"
Hal laid the letter down upon his desk, folded it and
placed it back inside of the envelope. He stood and walked
to the huge windows looking out over the city beneath.
But, instead of looking out at the city, he stared at his
reflection in the window looking inward. Closing his eyes
and pressing his hands and forehead to the glass, he held
back tears, knowing he had let Auntie Tanya and everyone
around him down. His heart was weighed down with the
heaviness of knowing that he had turned his back on love
923
and in doing so, he had turned his back on God.
Yes, he needed understanding and answers, but, Auntie

Tanya's letter didn't bring him the answers that he needed
for himself at that moment. He gazed out of the window as
if searching for something or someone, then, whispered,
"How can I be expected to save the world, when I can't

even save myself?"
924
Episode 42
AUNTIE YONNY: LET JESUS LEAD YOU
925

Episode 42
AUNTIE YONNY: LET JESUS LEAD YOU
David Siegfried straightened his son's tie. Then,

placing his huge hands upon Hal's shoulders, he looked
hopefully into his eyes. It had been a long time since the
two of them had attended church together, but, he allowed
himself to feel like it was just like old times when he
took Hal to church as a boy. He knew that they were only
going to a meeting, but, David hoped it would lead to
Hal's returning to fellowship and growing closer to God.
He had been somewhat surprised, but, very supportive when
Hal offered the idea of reaching Rachel through her pastor
and prayed God had a hand in placing the idea in his head.
"Are you ready to do this, son?"
Hal took a deep breath.
"As ready as I'll ever be, Dad. I know that I have to

do this. Do you think she'll show up and what if she's not
alone?
"Son, don't worry. Rachel cares about her pastor and

the people at that church."
"What...what if Derek comes with her or he sends a
926
bodyguard to be in the room with her?"
"We'll cross that bridge...when we come to it."
Feeling increasingly anxious, Hal gave a big sigh. He

didn't know how to face Rachel and part of him didn't want
her to come to the meeting. What would he say to her? How
could he even look at her? Guilt had settled within him
and made it's home, hindering him from being led by love
and God. His father could tell that he was nervous and
conflicted. He knew that his son had to see this through
to resolve the conflict that was inside of him. Trying to
offer him some comfort and peace of mind, he embraced him
and patted his back.
"Don't worry son, Pastor Allen seems like a good ally.

I believe we can count on him to help us if Derek or one
of his men show up. He'll know what to do."
Their first meeting with Pastor Allen Fitzgerald had

been uncomfortable at first. They weren't sure as to what
kind of man he was and if they should trust him with the
information they were about to divulge.
Upon first meeting him, many found Allen Fitzgerald to

appear to be a very happy-go-lucky person, who talked
about God, and who didn't worry too much about politics
and the darker avenues of life. They may even have
considered him to be naive and too optimistic, but, those
were people who only saw the surface of him with their
eyes.
Hal wondered if Pastor Allen would believe their story,

so he brought proof of who they were. He had introduced
927
himself and his father and handed him the folder which had
been kept secret by Tanya, for so many years. Pastor Allen
took the folder, invited them to sit down and then took
his time perusing through the folder without saying a
word. Then, he looked up at Hal and his father and spoke.
"Well, gentleman. It seems that you two have quite a

story to tell. I'd like to hear all of it and how I can be
of service to you."
Hal looked at his father who nodded for him to be the

spokesman.
"First, of all, we do plan to make a donation to your

church. Honestly, but, we're here for another reason,
also."
"I appreciate your gesture, , but, that isn't

necessary, Mr. Siegfried. The pretext under which you
arranged our meeting was dishonest. Was it not?"
"I can explain that...uh...we..." Hal looked at his

father. "I mean, I had to do that for security reasons, as
I will explain to you."
"Take your time. I'm all ears."
"I don't know how to put this... First we need your

assurance that what we tell you won't leave this office or
it could put you, your family, this church, and others in
danger."
"Well, it looks like you've already made that decision
928
for me by showing up at this church, being in my office,

and exposing me to this information."
"I-I...I'm sorry, Pastor Fitzgerald. We'll just leave,

now..."
"No, Mr. Siegfried, don't leave. I just want to make

sure that we are both accountable for our actions and to
one another. You can not come here and ask me to put my
life on the line and endanger those around me, if you
don't understand that you owe me the same accountability,
just as we owe it to Christ."
Hal looked down in guilt and shame.
"I'm not trying to shame you, Mr. Siegfried. My

intention is to lift you up to a higher understanding of
relationships and to help you understand that this is not
just a business arrangement."
Solemnly, Hal looked up at Pastor Allen.
"I understand and I apologize."
"Apology accepted. Now, let us go about the Lord's

work. Tell me everything and not just what you think I
need to know. Tell me about the relationships involved and
the status of those relationships."
Hal looked at the pastor curiously, wondering how the

pastor new that their problem dealt with relationships,
then, he began describing his meeting with Miriam Barrett
and Tanya Yanovich. By the time he came to telling him
929
about Miriam and Arturo's unsolved murders and the attack

on Tanya, Pastor Allen was already intrigued by the story.
Hal went on to talk about his visit to Attorney
Wellington's office and finding out that they were the
descendants of President Willard Graves. When, Hal's
father was introduced into the story, David Siegfried
began helping Hal to tell the story and filled in the
blanks where Hal had missed something.
Throughout the story, they had skipped around

mentioning Rachel, making Pastor Allen wonder why they had
come to him for help. But, then, both of them stopped
talking and looked at one another.
"Is there something you're afraid to tell me?"
Hal knew that it was his responsibility to speak up,

but, once again, lowered his head.
"...uh...afraid and...a-a-ashamed..."
"Fear and shame are not of God, son. We are to confess

our sins to one another in order to free ourselves of
guilt and shame and prevent becoming a slave to pride and
evil."
Hal choked up and began trembling, trying to hold

himself together. His father grabbed his shoulder to
comfort him.
"Uh..R-Rachel..." Her name was all Hal could manage to

say as he covered his face
930
Pastor Allen's demeanor changed to one of grave concern

upon the mention of Rachel's name. He leaned forward
across his desk.
"Rachel? Are you talking about Rachel Montgomery who is

a member here? Is she alright?"
Hal tried to gathered himself together and held onto

the arms of the chair. Seeing that he was unable to
answer, David replied.
"We were hoping you could tell us that. We've been

forbidden to contact or see her, by Derek Graves."
"Your cousin..."
"Yes...our...our cousin. We'd be putting her in danger

if we try and go to her job at The Daily. But, we have to
talk to her and tell her she's in danger. We know Derek
and the others are behind the murders and the attempt to
murder me at the jail. He threatened to harm Rachel and
the baby if we don't give the money to him and the
Barretts."
"The baby?"
David looked to Hal as if to say that this is where he

needed to take over, again.
"Pastor Allen, Rachel is pregnant with my baby."
"So that's why she hasn't been in church. I didn't
931
expect Derek Graves to continue coming, but, I thought she

would. Rachel had been a dedicated servant of God."
Hal looked away from him, again feeling shame and

guilt. David felt compelled to defend Rachel, as if she
were his own child.
"She still is Pastor Allen, pain and heartache just

caused her to lose her way. That's why we have got to help
her and the baby. She doesn't know that Hal and Derek are
related. We couldn't tell her and now it's...it's a matter
of life and death. Derek has threatened to harm her and
the baby, if we don't give him and the Barretts the
money."
"And the Barretts are your..."
"Cousins." Hal and David interjected, chiming together.
"Well this is just one big family feud, isn't it?"
"Yes, Pastor, and Derek has already gotten rid of one

person from the opposing faction and plans to get rid of
the rest of us, if he can."
Pastor Allen looked long and hard at Hal, then asked.
"Hal, is there anything else I need to know, up to this

point? What happened between you and Rachel?"
Not used to bearing his soul and feeling as if he were

on trial, Hal looked at his father for support, then
932
turned back to Pastor Allen.
"It...it was a...a...misunderstanding. I couldn't tell

her about what was going on in my life. I-I-I
was...uh...afraid for her safety. So, she began not to
trust me and started seeing Derek, not knowing we were
cousins.
"After the two of you had sex and you impregnated her?"
"Yes, afterward. I was in love with her and I thought

she was in love with me. I told her to stay away, but, she
came to the hospital one night...and...and..it just
happened. Then, she got mad at me because I was working
with a rival newspaper and put her job in jeopardy, so she
broke it off with me. We didn't know she was pregnant at
the time. It was too soon."
Hal's father broke into the conversation.
"I found out by accident when I saw her at one of Derek

Graves' campaign rallies. I persuaded her to tell Hal,
but, when...when she came to the house...well...We found
out at the same time that Hal and Zenobia were together.
She and I saw them kissing and she ran out of the house. I
continued seeing her and offered help for her and the
baby, but, she wouldn't let me tell Hal that she was
pregnant. She said that she would tell him when she was
ready."
Pastor Allen looked down and chuckled, shaking his

head. No doubt he had heard similar stories about women
who were pregnant out of wedlock not wanting the father to
know until they were ready, as if it were their decision,
933
alone. However, with the grandfather of the father

involved, David knew that Pastor Allen probably thought
their story was a strange one indeed--a doozy.
Pastor Allen was thinking, but, about the many young

girls and women, even older women, whom he had encountered
who kept their pregnancy from the father out of fear or
out of spite and malice. He couldn't imagine Rachel being
filled with so much hate, so, she must be living in fear.
He brought his attention back to David and the problem at
hand.
"Pastor, we've got to stop Rachel before she marries

Derek. She told me that she's marrying Derek because he's
good to her and he would be good to her child. But, we
know that Derek doesn't really love her and is only trying
to get back at Hal. We know he's as prejudice as the rest
of the Graves Family, present company not included, and
he's a danger to my grandchild."
"So, let me jump into the story at this point. You and
your son have come here to ask me to contact Rachel so
that you can finally tell her the truth about everything
and persuade her to leave Derek. Am I right?"
Hal and David looked at one another and together,

nodded their heads in approval.
"OoooKAY! Now that I know why you are here, let me fill
you in on what I know...
Rachel and Derek were coming here together for a month,

then, Derek stopped coming. A month later, Rachel stopped
coming. Me and some of the other members have called her
934
and been to her apartment, but, have been unable to reach

her. What makes you think she'll talk to me now,
especially since I know what happened?"
David looked at the pastor with pleading eyes.
"We-we-we can only hope, Pastor. We'd like you to set

up a meeting here at the church where we can talk to
Rachel with you, away from Derek."
"And how am I to arrange this meeting if she isn't

answering my calls?"
This time it was Hal replying with pleading eyes.
"We'd like for you to go to The Daily and ask her to

come to the church for a meeting with you without
mentioning that we will be there, too."
"You want me to lie for you? I won't lie for you or

anybody! And, we're not a cult! We're not in the habit of
stalking our members, or harassing them on their jobs!"
"No, noooo! We don't want you to lie or stalk Rachel.

Go to the Daily one time out of concern for her and
just...just d-don't tell Rachel that my dad and I are
going to be there at the meeting. That's all. It's
somewhat deceiving, but, it's for her own good! To save
her life! PLEASE PASTOR!"
"Mr. Siegfried! No need to get hysterical. I'll pray

about it and ask for God's guidance as to how I can help.
If it is within God's Will, I'll call you and let you
935
know.
"Thank you, Pastor Allen! We won't take up anymore of

your time. Come on, Dad. Thank you for listening to us.
Here's my card. You can call me on my cellphone, at home,
or at the office, anytime, no matter what time it is.
Okay?"
"Okay, Mr. Siegfried."
"And, please call me Hal, my father is Mr. Siegfried. I

hear that enough at work."
The three gentleman smiled and shook hands, then, Hal

and his father started to leave.
"Wait Hal, I need to ask you a few questions." He

looked at David. "Alone, please."
David left and was happy to have the time to pray and
meditate in the sanctuary. He also hoped the pastor would
counsel his son and bring him closer to God. Pastor Allen
closed the door and motioned for Hal to take a seat.
"This won't take long, Hal. I know this must be very

difficult for you, coming here and sharing your most
intimate thoughts and secrets. But, also living with what
you have done. Having two women pregnant simultaneously
can be a huge burden to bear, alone. You've got businesses
to run, marriage to think about, and people around you who
are depending upon you for many things. How are you
handling everything, right now?"
936
Hal thought for a moment, trying to overlook the fact

that he was talking to a stranger, then answered as he
thought he should answer.
"I'm doing the best that I can."
"And Zenobia, the woman that you're living with?"
"Hal thought about Zenobia hiding in the gazebo, day

after day, and ignoring everyone. We're not doing so
well."
"Hal, you said you couldn't tell Rachel about your true
identity, but..., who benefited most from that? --You or
Rachel? If you can't answer that now. I'd like for you to
think about it. You also said that you were in love with
Rachel and she was in love with you, but, now, you're
marrying Zenobia and she's marrying Derek. What kind of
love did you have for one another that made it so easy for
the two of you to turn your backs on one another?
And, on top of that, all of this other stuff. The

murder of your cousin and a security guard. Your father
almost killed and having to kill a man. In order for you
to gain the world, as your aunt and cousin planned, to
further their agenda, filled with lies, deception,
vengeance and hate, what will you do next, Hal Siegfried?
Will you lose your soul? Are you ready to go that far?"
Hal broke down in tears.
"I feel like I've already lost it and Rachel. I know

that I have never stopped loving her, but, I don't know
937
what to do now. I can't leave Zenobia. I want to be a

father to my child."
"And, what about the child you have with Rachel? I

think you know what to do Hal, but, you haven't had the
courage to begin doing what is right, until now. You
didn't do what was right in the beginning, because you
were afraid of what you would lose. You didn't trust God
to see you through all of this and invited darkness into
your life, just like Miriam and Tanya. Brought up in the
ways of the Graves Family, that's the way they were used
to living and convinced you that that was the way that you
had to live, also. But, while they lived that way, did
they have abundant and eternal life?
Everything done in the dark must come to light and

answer to The Light, son. Plots conceived in fear carry
darkness to others. You must be driven by faith instead of
fear. You must be worthy of a God-fearing woman to stand
beside her and build her up instead of tearing her down.
Our ways are not like God's ways. Perhaps, God is building
you up to be worthy for His servant and as His servant.
More than your being afraid of Rachel knowing that you

were a Graves and being in danger, you needed to fear God.
Now, she has been delivered into the hands of your enemy--
a Graves. How ironic! If that's not the hand of God, I
don't know what is. God is trying to tell you and the
whole Graves Family something! mm-mm-MMM! --A Black man in
the Graves Family! My Lord, How Great Thou Art!
Can't you see? It's not about what you want Hal. It's
not about the money, inheritances, businesses,
foundations, or vengeance. It's about what is right in
God's eyes! Things must be set RIGHT as GOD sees them and
you must become holy and righteous. Where is your FAITH
938
Hal? Allow God into your heart and you can't go wrong!
Seek His Son and let Jesus lead you. It's time to follow
the RIGHT and the RIGHTEOUS path and example! Only He can
show you The Truth, The Way, and The Life..."
Drenched in tears from the Truth that had been spoken

to him through Pastor Allen, Hal cried out.
"I DON'T KNOW IF I KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

ANYMORE!.........Things...things have gotten too out of
hand and...and...I can't s-s-stop what has already been
started!"
Pastor Allen stared at Hal with penetrating, wide,

bulging eyes, that seemed to be full of wrath and able to
see right through him.
"Tell me more!" He demanded.
939
Episode 43
AUNTIE YONNY:
THE UNEXPECTED Part 1 PLANS
940

Episode 43
AUNTIE YONNY:
THE UNEXPECTED Part 1 PLANS
It is an amazing thing to be humbled by God. I compare

it to being somewhat like an astronaut and seeing the
Earth from space for the first time. One realizes that we
are but a minute fraction of the universe and a speck of
dust among all of God's creations. From space, we are able
to see that we are part of a bigger picture and plan. We
gain some idea of the magnitude of God's Majestic Power
and Domain, showing us how awesome our Father really is.
It becomes even more amazing to think that Earth is but
one small little planet among the billions and trillions
of planets, stars, galaxies, and solar systems. To think
that God loves us so much that He looks upon each
individual and sees us as being significant within the
vastness of His Universe is--AMAZING! Even more, He has
created a specific plan for each of our lives. It can be a
difficult concept to grasp, no matter from which angle or
distance you are looking at it from. However, holding onto
this knowledge, this Truth, one should be able to surmise
that we, mankind, continue to be truly BLESSED!
HALLELUJAH!
From God's perspective, nothing is impossible. Unlike

us, He has an even better than birds-eye view and insight
into the world, our lives, our future, and the destiny of
mankind; for He is the creator of all, The Alpha and the
Omega, The Beginning and the End. God is never caught off
941
guard by the unexpected. If we truly Believe in Him, and

trust in His Word, then, we should put our faith in Him
and not in ourselves, or the plans of man.
Nonetheless, we may continue to plan and plan for days

or even months to achieve a goal or to carry out an event,
without giving one thought to if it is the Will of God. As
we act out our plans, all may seem to be well, or, on its
way to falling into place. Sometimes, we can pour all of
our heart into our expectations, or, others may be
depending upon us to succeed. We can become so wrapped up
within executing our plans that we put pressure and strain
upon ourselves and others. We might believe that we have
no other options. In our mind, our plans must succeed,
but, this is where we become blind-sighted, unprepared, or
ill-prepared for the unexpected.
We may not have meant to leave God out of our planning,

or through our ignorance, or, pride and arrogance, we
simply may have not seen the necessity to consult and/or
include God first. Yet, God is always in control and while
we were planning, God is also planning on our behalf, or,
on behalf of His Kingdom. Sometimes, the unexpected
happens when our plans do not coincide with Gods, or God
may allow something to happen within our plans to teach us
and help us to grow in unconditional love, faith,
holiness, and righteous.
Still, there are other factors into play. Last, but,

not least, we must consider the plans of the adversary.
And, although we do not live in fear of his plotting and
scheming against us, we must be sure that we are walking
by faith, in the Light of God, according to His purpose
for our lives, protected by His Armour and bearing Good
Fruit. Most assuredly, God is always prepared for the
scheming of the adversary, for, he can do nothing that God
942
does not allow him to do.
It is within the unexpected that we are often given the

opportunity for redemption through God's Grace and Mercy,
if we humble ourselves and submit to HIS WILL. To most
Believers, always putting your trust in God is not only
sound advice, but, part of the basis of believing. The
instructions for believing and trusting God appear to be
fairly simple to follow, but, are they? How do they become
complicated for us? God tells us to have faith in Him and
who is our faith, but Christ Jesus? We are told to follow
Jesus, our Shepherd. The instructions, sound simple. So,
why then do we sometimes end up as lost sheep, having
strayed away from the flock, becoming disconnected from
God? Why do we become so blinded by fear, that we are even
afraid to return to our Father and His Will and Way? We
are blinded to the fact the The Master and The Chief
Shepherd welcome the lost sheep back with loving, open
arms.
When we are in the flesh (self), our appearance can

affect our behavior, how we see ourselves, and the
decisions that we make in our lives. Blinded by our pride,
we cannot see that we are led by darkness.
**********************************************************
She had left very early that morning because it was

getting harder to get ready and go to work. Her very
pregnant body had become very awkward and although she
hadn't gained that much weight, their was no hiding her
condition anymore. She also knew that she better leave
before Derek got home and made a fuss over her working so
late in her pregnancy. He had wanted her to stop working
943
at The Daily months ago. However, besides loving her job,

working kept her active and healthy, which was good for
the baby.
No, there was no hiding her condition from everyone at

The Daily anymore. She hadn't invested a lot of money in
maternity clothes, so, at first glance, one could tell
that her ill-fitting clothes weren't meant to be occupied
by two individuals.
It was also pretty obvious that she had trouble getting

comfortable at her desk. An older co-worker, a mother of
seven, brought her a small pillow for her back and gave
her advice on childbirth. She asked Rachel if she was
going to go natural. Not having given it much thought,
Rachel had no idea what she was talking about at first and
told her that she'd always been a red-head. She felt very
silly and naive when it suddenly occurred to her that her
co-worker was referring to a method of childbirth. Her
doctor had asked her which method she preferred, but, at
the time she didn't know. However, she was running out of
time and would have to make up her mind soon.
No longer able to sit close to her desk, she had to

find ways to reach for things. After walking down the
hallway and hearing giggles and chuckles from her co-
workers, someone finally told her that the shared
amusement was all in fun, being that she had developed a
noticeable waddle. She couldn't believe that she, Rachel
Montgomery, now held the title of "The Pregnant Girl At
The Office." However, it did have its perks, though. No
one dared to fight her over the last doughnut in the break
room, unless they wanted to get dirty looks from the rest
of their co-workers for the rest of the day. No one said
anything about her new habit of taking her shoes off and
walking around the office barefooted, or, putting her feet
944
up for awhile. Yes, pregnancy had its perks when it came

to getting parking spaces at work and not having to stand
in line for the lady's room. She hadn't paid much
attention to these concessions when other women were
pregnant, but, she had come to appreciate them and her co-
workers even more.
**********************************************************
After eating dinner and helping his wife to tidy up the

kitchen, Pastor Allen sat in his big over-stuffed easy
chair and opened his favorite newspaper to catch up on
local happenings and current events. It was a pass-time
handed down from his father, who looked upon it as a
responsibility in being a well-informed citizen and
helping to preserve free speech through one of the major
institutions of democracy--the free press.
The age of the internet and social media had threatened

to make newspapers and magazines extinct. It was something
that men like Willard Graves and Putin had tried to
coerce, in order to kill democracy and spread autocracy.
But, thanks to people who shared his father's views, a
good portion of the newspaper industry had survived by
connecting themselves to the shifting and ever changing
technological media that rose and fell throughout the
years. Like most trends and technology, it reached its
peak and began to spiral downward and level off. There was
room at the top for the competition after-all.
Newspapers and magazines had proved that they weren't

ancient dinosaurs on the verge of extinction, but, a
necessary and adaptable wheel needed to turn, disseminate,
drive ideas, and further education, leading to change,
discovery, creativity, invention, interaction, justice,
accountability, and more. They disproved the accusations
945
that they were merely antiquated paper record keepers,

historical scribes, puppets of big business, exploiters,
and tools of manipulation.
Competing with a high-tech society where young people

were born into using electronic technology and computers
for everything was a struggle and there was a lot of
cleaning house to remove bad influences, but, it was well-
worth the pain. Those who criticized and condemned
journalism and newspapers, expecting them to crawl into
the pages of history like the dinosaurs, did not take into
account the difference between the brain of a dinosaur and
the brain of a human being.
By changing the role of the journalists to meet the

needs of the people, newspapers were able to become the
wheels that helped to drive social media, while presenting
unbiased and objective information to the public. Later, a
gap in communication, created by a younger generation
entirely dependent upon social media, helped to create a
lack of credible information. The uncontrollable growth in
misinformation caused restrictions and government
regulations that many found to be intolerable, driving
them away from social media and opening a door once again
to the newspaper industry. The internet, no longer free,
became inaccessible to the very people who had made it so
popular, driving them away from its usage. It had lost its
appeal to many due to its lack of diversity and
relativity, and the danger of fines and punishment from
the government. A shortage of local news reporting,
reaffirmed the necessity for local newspapers. Bureaucracy
had found another way to drain money from the poor and
middle class and another vehicle to oppress, manipulate,
and keep them powerless, by denying them a voice,
education, and information. It had begun to use the
internet as a tool to deceive the public and to control
the masses.
946
Pastor Allen smiled and sighed, recalling how his

father had been a spokesman and advocate on behalf of
newspapers and journalism. "Newspapers are able to adapt
because they represent the IDEAS of men." He would say.
"Ideas do not die, they simply change and evolve.
Newspapers give ideas a voice and the opportunity for men
and women from all walks of life and socioeconomic status
to be heard and contribute to society. If we silence
newspapers and journalists, we take away free speech for
ALL in a democracy. Can we rely upon the rich or well-off
to speak for the poor who may not have access to the
conveniences of modern technology or the money or power to
use them for their benefit? Can we cut off the hands and
legs of democracy so that people become disenfranchised,
uninformed, and unable to live in the equality and freedom
that is rightfully theirs as citizens?"
His father was a great speaker, he thought, because, he

cared deeply about people. Sometimes, it wasn't so much
the words that he said, but, the way that he expressed
them. Allen Fitzgerald knew that the words came from
somewhere deep within his father; a place that was so much
greater than he was. His father humbled himself to let
this power use him; this power being God, alone.
His father had made a choice to STAND, resist, and

persist, at a time when men and women saw no need to hold
on to anything that resembled or reminded them of the
bleak and negative past they had emerged from. He had made
a stand against wealthy businessmen and ambitious
politicians who were trying to repair the bad reputation
they had rightly earned from dishonest dealings and
deceiving the public during the Graves administration.
947
The Graves administration. Pastor Allen remembered his

meeting with David and Hal Siegfried, the estranged and
unknown Graves family members. What stand did God want him
to take, if any? He thought about Rachel being pregnant
and the danger she was in. This wasn't something that
could wait. Would God give him an answer, now?
He refolded the newspaper and noticed Derek Graves on

the front page. He and his opponent seemed to be running a
close tie in the polls. It was going to be a close
election, if nothing happened to tarnish either of the
candidates. Thinking about that, he walked to his study,
where he often knelt and prayed. Before he closed the
door, he began talking to God.
**********************************************************
The next morning, Allen Fitzgerald arose early, also.

He was on a mission unlike his usual missions. He hadn't
seen Rachel in a while and although he felt he was being
led by God, he had an uneasy feeling about what he was
about to do. Sure, he'd agreed to meet some members at
their places of employment before, but, that was at their
request. He was about to drop in on Rachel, unexpectedly.
Should he have done this months ago? He asked himself.
After all, she is part of the Master's flock entrusted
into his care. Had he been negligent? Filled with fear? It
appeared as if he had given up on Rachel and just left her
to the world. Whose eyes had he been seeing through and
whose heart had he been following? He searched his mind
for others whom he might have forsaken and whose fate he
had simply handed over to the wolves. Was he setting an
example of Christ?
As he continued beating up on himself, with more guilt

and shame, God's Holy Spirit spoke to Him, telling him
948
that there is a reason for everything. Allen knew that

meant that he was in the process of learning a lesson from
God, not to punish him, but, to help him become a better
servant and help him live more abundantly, that is,
bearing Good Fruit.
Having clergy identification had helped him get into a

lot of places that normally took a lot of time and
authorization to obtain clearance, although, he sometimes
questioned the reasoning of this haphazard practice.
Terrorists had exploited the trust of security in several
hospitals and government agencies, by impersonating
clergy, then, killing hundreds of people through various
means in their spree of carnage to invoke fear. A larger
and more connected identification database had minimized
security breaches, but, still, he thought, people were
still too lenient and careless when it came to admitting
clergy into public places. However, although he still felt
strongly about more stringent and consistent security
measures, today was one of the days he chose not to
criticize too harshly. He'd rather not have to answer any
questions about why he was there without an appointment
and without Rachel's knowledge.
Through talking with Rachel, he knew what department

she worked in and that she had her own office. The
information desk was helpful in directing him to the exact
floor and office number. As the elevator rose to the ninth
floor, he could feel anxiety and his blood pressure
rising. He realized that he had been living in fear and it
had kept him from being a good shepherd. He had failed to
care more about the welfare of the sheep, than himself,
and the eyes of the world upon him. He asked God for
forgiveness, guidance, and the courage borne of His
unconditional love for others.
949
When he exited the elevator on the ninth floor, he

realized there was no turning back. He felt as if
everyone's eyes were upon him. There was no hiding place.
Suddenly, feeling the quickening of God's Holy Spirit, he
was filled with comfort and encouragement. It was the same
feeling he felt before he brought forth the Word of God
during service. He knew God was with him and there was no
need to fear; for fear is not of God. He began to recite
to himself, who he was in Christ.
Then, God told him to take the focus off of himself and
think about His sheep, remembering who Rachel is in
Christ. God spoke to him and said, "My lost sheep must be
brought back into the fold. The battle isn't over. Stand
here. Stand NOW." Allen Fitzgerald put on the Armour of
God and within his heart, being led by the Mind of Christ,
continuing in prayer and holy communion with God, he
prepared for spiritual warfare to reclaim God's sheep.
950
Episode 44
AUNTIE YONNY: THE UNEXPECTED Part 2
IS YOUR ALL ON THE ALTAR?
951

Episode 44
IS YOUR ALL ON THE ALTAR?
Rachel appreciated the fact that with her promotion she

had acquired a private office, however, there were times
when she wished the private office was actually private.
Surrounded by glass windows, with people passing by and
peering in, she felt like a piece of glass menagerie on
display. The most terrifying thought was that people could
see right through her into all of her insecurities and
vulnerability. Keeping the blinds drawn closed all of the
time, made them all the more obvious. So, when Pastor
Allen arrived unexpectedly, being so visible gave her no
opportunity to hide her feelings.
Upon seeing Pastor Allen through the window, she was

hit with guilt and shame like a flood of waves pounding
against the shores of the ocean. She could feel her face
becoming flushed and hot and realized that she was wearing
shame and guilt as if she'd applied it as makeup. All
kinds of thoughts began to clumsily bump around inside of
her head. Subconsciously, she folded her arms across her
stomach as if there was a chance of hiding the protruding
abdomen that was so prominent and obviously of ill-
proportion to the rest of her body.
"Wow! What happened to the confident and brave Rachel?"

She asked herself. "Why am I feeling like this? It's just
952
Pastor Fitzgerald. Am I ashamed of my pregnancy?" Rachel

already knew the answer to the last question and the cause
of her stressful feelings. However, she tried to cast her
feelings aside, and at least look the part of being happy.
So, she put on a big smile and a facade of pleasant
surprise, as barefooted, she walked to the door to bring
Pastor Fitzgerald into her office.
Having only walked a few steps, she felt her baby

becoming very active, kicking and moving around. With each
step, the discomfort grew. By the time she reached to open
the door, and Pastor Allen walked in, it was as if the
baby was doing somersaults inside of her. She tried to
hide her discomfort.
"Pastor Allen! What a wonderful surprise!"
Not expecting Rachel's welcoming reception, all Pastor

Allen could do was laugh. Rachel hugged him tightly,
perhaps, too tightly, causing her to grab her stomach.
"Hello, Rachel. Oooo, are you alright?"
Having been extremely nervous and anxious, she assumed

that she had probably disturbed the baby. She laughed
nervously as she replied to his question.
"Well, Pastor Allen, it depends on how you look at it."
They both laughed in an effort to mask the awkwardness

of the moment and the embarrassing feelings which had
gained control over them.
953
"Yes, I'm okay. Its...its just that my...my baby is

suddenly very active and I'm a little uncomfortable. He
seems to have taken control of my body."
They both laughed again.
"Yes, it looks like there's more of him there than

there is of you."
Pastor Allen let out a big howl.
"Here let's get you off of your feet. Is there anything

I can get for you?"
"No, no, no...I'm...I'm..."
Rachel sucked in some air and let it out slowly as the

baby gave her a hard kick and began stretching inside of
her. Seeing the distress upon her face, Pastor Allen
winced.
"Please don't go into labor now. I can preach about

deliverance, but, I've never delivered a baby before."
Realizing what a bad joke he had made and that he was

surrendering to fear, distraction, and the weakness of the
flesh, Pastor Allen began to pray within for guidance.
Taking a deep breath he spoke what was in his heart.
"Rachel...Rachel, I apologize if my coming here has

caused you discomfort or embarrassment. That was not my
intention. I'm here because I love you and I care about
954
you. I wasn't certain that this was the right thing to do,
but, I prayed about it and here I am.
When you became part of our congregation, God entrusted

me with your care. But, I'm not here just because you are
a member of our church. I'm here because you are a Child
of God. Please forgive me for taking so long to come and
see about you. There's no other way to put it. I was
afraid and I was negligent of my duties as a servant of
God.
My taking care of God's sheep shouldn't be determined

by what you have done or your coming to church every
Sunday. We are accountable to one another everyday and as
your shepherd, I am accountable to God and Jesus, the
Chief Shepherd, everyday, for your well-being. If I had
been following the Mind of Christ, with the unconditional
love of the Master, I would have understood that, but, now
I do. Please, forgive me and allow me to serve you."
Rachel began to cry and got up to hug Pastor Allen.
"Now, now, I'm the one who should be crying. I've

missed out on most of your pregnancy and not been there to
support you."
Unable to speak, Rachel just held onto Pastor Allen.
"Now, I'd like for you to come and talk to me, if you
don't mind."
Rachel nodded her head yes.
955
"How about Sunday evening at five in my office at the

church?"
Rachel nodded her head again.
"Okay, then, I'm not going to keep you from your work.
Call me if you need me before then, or if you can't come.
We can reschedule."
Pastor Allen grabbed some tissue and offered it to

Rachel. Wiping her face, she laughed and looked up at him.
"Thank you for coming. I've missed all of you at the

church."
"We've missed you, too, Rachel. We're your family.

Don't ever forget that. God made us family. You know,
Rachel, coming here has taught me that I've got a lot of
soul searching to do. As Believers, we call one another
brother and sister, but, do we really mean it, or, is it
just formality and part of being the scripted Christian
instead of the scripture Christian? I appreciate you
Rachel and I give God the glory for putting you in my life
to keep me on the right path. I'll see you Sunday. God
bless you and your baby."
After seeing Pastor Allen out, Rachel returned to her

desk feeling much lighter. All of her anxiety and
nervousness was gone. Even the baby seemed to be resting
and content. She laughed at herself for being so afraid
and embarrassed.
"Now, the old Rachel would have seen right through
956
those tricks and known what the enemy was up to," she told
herself. "You need to get your eyes back on Jesus, Rache."
Calling herself Rache reminded her of Hal, someone she

didn't want to think about at that moment. Pastor Allen
had left her feeling much better about herself and her
life. She hadn't realized that she had been carrying
around the heavy weight of guilt and shame all of this
time until she saw Pastor Allen.
Rachel knew it would be good to talk to him and looked

forward to seeing him and perhaps some of the other
Disciples on Sunday.
"Disciples," she spoke out loud to hear the word. "I

haven't described myself in that way since, well, since my
life changed," she thought, rubbing her stomach.
Suddenly she realized that she hadn't been able to

share her feelings with anyone for a long time. She and
Derek talked, but, he just wasn't the kind of person who
liked talking about deep feelings. He didn't even talk
about his own deep feelings. They never talked about God
together and she missed the joy she always felt talking to
other Believers about God. She began to question their
relationship, when her phone rang. It was Derek.
"Hi Sweetheart. I'm sorry I wasn't back before you

left, but, here's what I'd like you to do for me. Take a
few days off of work and come with me to Vegas."
"Derek! Vegas? What on earth for?! I'm not even sure if

I'm allowed to fly at this point in my pregnancy."
957
"Oh, you'll be fine. I'll hire a nurse, or, aww hell,

I'll bring a doctor!"
"I...I don't know, Derek. I'm going to be missing a lot

of work and..."
"Alright, Rachel! You've spoiled everything! I wanted

it to be a surprise! I want to take you to Vegas to marry
you! I want to marry you before the baby comes. We can
still have the big wedding later on, but, I want you to be
Mrs. Derek Graves by this weekend! Okay?"
"I...I don't know what to say, Derek..."
"Just say yes and hop in a cab. No, on second thought,

I'll send a limousine for you. And, no need to stop and
pack, I'll buy you a new wardrobe."
Rachel's mind was racing. This was just too many

surprises for one day in such a short period of time. She
didn't think she was ready to say yes, but, she didn't
know how to say no. Yet, with all of those thoughts and
feelings racing around in her head, pride found its way to
the forefront and the thought of being Mrs. Derek Graves,
a married woman, instead of the unwed pregnant woman,
living in sin with a man, won out over, "Is this what God
wants me to do?" Pride even tossed out any questions as to
if marrying Derek was what she really wanted to do? Pride
was getting what it wanted in order for it to look good on
the outside in the eyes of man and the enemy had succeeded
in setting another trap.
Who knew Rachel Montgomery cared so much about what the

world thought about her? I guess when pride gets us in the
958
right situation or circumstances, any of us can fall prey

to its trickery. The flesh is weak, as the Word of God has
warned us and pride can convince us that what we do for
the flesh is the right thing to do.
Like many women, Rachel is even convinced that what is

right for her is right for her child and what she is doing
is because of her love for her child. This is the same
confusing rationalization as when parents take on the role
of the child and believe that they deserve to be happy
first, believing the child should sacrifice their
happiness for them out of love or be able to share the
same happiness. However, what is missing in the minds of
these people and in their relationships is the
understanding of true joy, true sacrifice, and
unconditional love, which is the parents responsibility to
transfer to the child, as well as the responsibility to
put God first in their lives. Joy, sacrifice, and
unconditional love are Fruits of God's Holy Spirit, borne
of holiness and righteousness. God is Holy, and His Fruits
are part of His character being manifested through us as
we imitate God. Yet, Rachel isn't thinking about bearing
Good Fruit, she hasn't been able to fit it into her
schedule or into her plans. Pride has made sure of that.
Now, where did all of this talk come from? What is its
relevancy to the current situation in the middle of our
story? Why have I gone there? Because, Rachel's story is
important to us in that it can help us find our way out of
darkness, and help to explain how we got there in the
first place becoming disconnected from God. Perhaps,
Rachel's story can better explain how what looks good on
the outside can actually be a trap. As we come to
understand how others fall into the traps of darkness, we
are able to have compassion and unconditional love for
others.
959
Well, we all know that Rachel is about to fall into

another trap, which will lead to another trap, and
another, unless she awakens to the Truth and/or someone
intercedes on her behalf. Have I given the story away? By
no means. The story doesn't end here. Rachel knows that
she needs to put her eyes back on Jesus, but, she still
feels she can make her own choice as to when and how,
because like many other Believers being in the flesh, led
by pride, she has a sense of entitlement--privilege
without holiness, and rights without righteousness!
Part of the adversaries plan is to make a Believer

think that because they know the Word of God they can
think and behave in such a way, as if they have graduated,
or, become elevated to be beyond sin or failure. In other
words, they may feel that they have enough of the Word
within them to sustain them and control their own lives
and protect them from sin. Which is contrary to the
purpose of us ABIDING, LIVING WITHIN THE WORD OF GOD.
Again, the trap leads the Believer to make the mistake of
thinking that a Believer is one who knows of the Word
instead of actually living within the Word and following
the Mind of Christ, daily.
So, what happened to the old Rachel? Can we explain her

disconnection? Having come to know the Truth, Believers
can still find it difficult to resist the weakness of
self, if they do not die daily to their flesh. Although,
we have knowledge of the Word of God, it is not uncommon
for us to lose our way when faced with new experiences in
our lives and having opened the door to darkness through
sin. This is why it is best not to yield to temptation in
the first place. Can we still call Rachel a Believer if
her belief is without trust in God? What if her faith is
without works? Rachel believes that she knows
unconditional love and that is why she can love Derek as a
husband. God said that if you love me, you will obey me.
960
Does Rachel's continual disobedience show love for God or

self? She has fallen into another trap of forgetting who
she is, as a Child of God. She is trying to please herself
and others instead of pleasing God--first.
Perhaps, Rachel is doing what she believes to be right,

but, for the wrong reasons. Then, like some parents, she
will expect her child to be able to live with her mistakes
and her unhappiness. Rachel is blinded by pride and living
for the world and for the moment, both which shall pass
away, but, the Kingdom of God is eternal. She is not
seeking the Kingdom of God first, knowing that all else
will be added through the Will and Way of God. Neither is
she following The Way, The Truth, and The Life--Jesus. She
prides herself in being an independent woman capable of
taking care of herself and making her own decisions, but,
has she forgotten that we cannot do anything without God?
Yet, before we point a finger, shaking our heads and

simply finding fault within Rachel. Let's look at the same
trap and the weakness of the flesh in Abraham, who also
believed God and it was counted as righteousness, although
his flesh had not escaped the attachment to the world. We
are shown Abraham in a struggle to please his wife and
establish his priorities and authority concerning his
sons. He is a parent struggling with the same trap of
appearances and trying to please others. He gets caught up
in the emotions of others. He tried to please the flesh,
caring for the things of the world, until God tested his
faith, asking him to sacrifice his flesh, in the form of
Isaac, his son, his heir, and God's promise to him.
Although, he believed God, Abraham had mixed loyalties

and priorities. To become the father of nations, God
needed his eyes focused first on the Kingdom of God. His
wife, Sarah, insisted that he give up her handmaid, Hagar,
961
and his son by her, Ishmael, to appease her jealousy and

love for the ways of world. Yet, God wanted to know, "What
will you give up to serve ME Abraham? What is our
relationship all about? Where is your love and loyalty to
ME--HOLINESS AND RIGHTEOUSNESS? Have you forgotten about
ME? How do I get your attention?! All that you have came
from Me and belongs to Me. Now, SHOW me your faith and
sacrifice he that I have given to you!"
As Abraham was in a delicate state, about to give birth

to a nation, so is Rachel in a delicate state, right now.
Not only because she is pregnant, but, because like
Abraham, she has allowed her pregnancy to isolate her and
separate her from God. Now, instead of trusting God and
living in the spirit, walking by faith instead of by
sight, she is living in the flesh, walking by sight.
However, I cannot stress enough that she is not unique in
her circumstances or her blindness. It is something we ALL
struggle with from time to time. The proof is in the
condition of the world and the condition of those who
claim to Believe today. Satan knows our Achilles Heel, our
weak spots, and our weak moments.
Acknowledging her weakness, Rachel searches for her old

self, but, she can't find her, because, she is still
blinded and disconnected from God. Still, we have a God in
Heaven, a loving Father, who promised to never leave us
alone, therefore, God has not given up on, or,
disconnected Himself from Rachel. He is allowing her to go
through the darkness in order to bring her into the
Marvelous Light!
Rachel remembered that she had agreed to meet with

Pastor Allen Sunday evening. Meeting him next time as a
married woman appealed to her enough to satisfy any doubts
that she had.
962
"We'll be back by Sunday afternoon, won't we?"
"If that's what you want. We'll plan a longer

honeymoon, later."
"Then, yes. YES! My answer is yes! Let's do it! I can't

believe I'm saying this, but, let's go to Las Vegas and
get married!"
"That's my girl! I'll send a car for you in a couple of

hours."
"I've got to ask my boss first. I don't want to lose my

job!"
"Well, he better say yes! I'll see you in a couple of

hours."
963
Episode 45
HOPING FOR THINGS TO COME Part 1
964

Episode 45
Derek was in the conference room of Graves Tower,

planning his next campaign rally and writing a press
release about his romantic elopement with Rachel
Montgomery, when Rachel walked in and told him that she
wanted to go to The Daily and get some work done, since it
would be her last week working at the office before she
went on maternity leave. Too wrapped up in his plans,
Derek didn't have time to discuss the matter, but, after
she left, he made a phone call to someone telling them to
follow her.
Since she was in her last trimester of pregnancy, at

her doctors advice, Rachel stopped driving. She knew that
what she told Derek wasn't the whole truth. Yes, she
wanted to go to The Daily, but, she also intended on
meeting Pastor Allen at the church. She told their
chauffeur that she would call when she was ready to be
picked up. However, after doing a few things in her
office, she called a taxi and went to her church for the
meeting.
She didn't know why she was being so secretive about

the meeting. Maybe it was because of Derek's reluctance to
return to church with her, or to have anything to do with
the people she formerly associated with. However, she
decided that she wasn't going to let Derek keep her from
965
the people that she loved, or from the fulfillment she had
received from their fellowship.
When she exited the taxi, she was feeling deliberately

happy. She had good news for Pastor Allen as the newly
married Mrs. Derek Graves and expected him to be excited
and happy for her. As she entered the church, she greeted
and hugged a few members who were leaving. With a ready
smile and joyful anticipation, she knocked on Pastor
Allen's office door.
As the door opened wide, revealing the two men seated

within, the expression on her face went from shock to fear
to anger. She stood in the doorway still too stunned and
angry to say anything. Then, seething with anger, she
looked at Pastor Allen with great disappoint and through
clenched teeth, she let loose the venom that anger
produces to hurt others.
"How could you do this?! You lied to me!"
Rachel turned and started to walk away, but, Pastor

Allen, grabbed her hand gently and hugged her, not letting
go.
"I could because I love you, Rachel and God loves you,
and because we love you, we want you to do this for
yourself. Please, Rachel. You can't keep running away from
it."
Pastor Allen kept holding her hand. Reluctantly, she

entered the office and sat down. Hal kept staring at her
stomach and she wanted him to stop. It made her very
uncomfortable.
966
Pastor Allen immediately began to pray and they all

kept their heads bowed in prayer. Then, he took out a
folder and placed it on top of his desk. The three still
hadn't said a word to one another, not even a hello.
"All right now, we're going to start with some things

from the past that are relevant to the here and now and
that will certainly have an affect on the future, from
here on. I'll give each one of you a chance to speak and I
ask that you respect me, one another, and the presence of
God.
Within this folder is a part of history that continues

to resonate and effect the lives of everyone, which proves
to us that everything that we do, think, and say affects
everyone around us. Each of you is carrying on a legacy
started by someone else, but, it is up to you now to
decide what kind of reputation that legacy will have today
and how it will effect others.
Rachel, the child you are carrying has a father and

grandfather and you deserve to know their history and how
it will effect your child and his future.
"HE?!"
Hal didn't know how or why, but the word just came
blurting out of his mouth. He looked at Rachel, who put
her head down to avoid eye contact.
"Yes, Hal...he...congratulations, it's a boy."
967
Hal looked at his father whose face was beaming with

happiness.
"As I was saying, the child has a right to know his

father and the history of his ancestors. Within this
folder is proof of this ancestry, which is not only filled
with brutality, cruelty, and heartbreak, but, also a story
of American History, God's Grace, Mercy, Righteousness,
and Vengeance.
Now, Rachel, what we are about to tell you is shocking

and will change things from this day forward. However, God
knows how much we can bear. The Word of God says to hold
on to God's unchanging hand. This you will certainly need
to do in order to accept this information.
Now, this is the lineage of your son, Rachel, starting

from the paternal side of his family. He will be born to
Rachel Montgomery and Hal (Harold) Siegfried; Hal
Siegfried is the son of David Siegfried, Junior and Karina
(Long) Siegfried; David Siegfried, Jr. was the son of
David Siegfried, Senior and Elizabeth (Johnson) Siegfried.
Now this is where we must change to the grandmother's
ancestry. Elizabeth Johnson was adopted, by Mr. and Mrs.
Henry Johnson, but, her natural parents were Willard
Maynard Graves, who would later become the 45th President
of the United States of America, and Elizabeth Mae Howard,
a domestic worker for the Graves Family. This pregnancy
was a result of the brutal and merciless act of rape.
Now..."
Gripping the arms of her chair, Rachel let out a

chilling, blood curdling scream and began crying
hysterically. For a moment the three men looked at her
with horror. Hal was so frightened, he didn't know what to
do. He looked to his father and Pastor Allen, hoping they
968
would do something and he could follow their lead. Pastor

Allen arose and went to Rachel to comfort her, but, she
seemed to be inconsolable. He called for his wife, who
brought Rachel some water and began wiping her down with a
cool cloth and calming her with motherly love.
Rachel had kept trying to tell Mrs. Fitzgerald

something, but, she was too hysterical. Finally, when she
calmed down, she whispered into her ear. Mrs. Fitzgerald
stood, holding onto Rachel's hand, looking at her husband
rather shocked. Mustering up all the calm that she could,
she heralded the news to everyone.
"She says that she's married!"
Rachel let out a howl that turned into gut-wrenching

sobs.
Jaws dropped and Hal completely lost his composure.

Mrs. Fitzgerald hurriedly poured him some water and began
pulling tissues out of the box to dry his tears. David
Siegfried took over her position as Mrs. Fitzgerald
hurried back to Rachel, who was holding and rubbing her
stomach as if she was in great pain. All the while she
kept repeating, "NO, NO, NO," over and over again.
To those involved, it seemed like this misery went on

for hours. However, Pastor Allen called upon God's help
and began to pray aloud for God's mercy and guidance.
Then, it was as if the Holy Spirit had convicted everyone
and everybody wanted to talk and confess at once. Even
Mrs. Fitzgerald began to give a testimony of her trials
and tribulations in life. Pastor Allen thanked her, gave
her a hug and kiss, then said he would see her later that
evening. After she left, he proceeded to get things back
969
on track.
"Alright, this is good, but, we need to take turns in

speaking. Out of respect for our elders, Mr. Siegfried,
you may go first."
"Well, the first thing I want to do is to tell Rachel

that I love her and none of this is her fault. And the
next thing is, I wanted to announce that I'm changing my
name to David Siegfried-Graves...."
"Dad?! Why would you want to do something like that?!"
"Hold on, now, Hal, let your dad speak, please."
"Son, I am accepting who I am, so that others know who

I am, even if they don't accept me. Look, Rachel. You need
to know what's been going on and what Derek has been
doing. Your life and your baby's life is in danger. Derek
is only interested in furthering his political career to
have power and money. He's willing to kill to get the
money given to us by Tanya and Miriam Graves.
He doesn't know that we're part of the Graves Family,

but, he does know that you're carrying Hal's baby. That
should tell you something. Derek understands lineage and
the line of succession and inheritance. With me and Hal
dead and out of the picture, the next of kin inherits the
money and that would be your and Hal's baby. He's probably
got plans for Zenobia and her baby too. I don't even want
to think about that. Maybe he plans to kill Hal before
they get married, or both of them before the baby is born.
Who knows? However, by marrying Hal's baby's mother, all
that money is his for the taking. He'd be the legal
970
guardian over the inheritance."
Rachel shook her head in disbelief. She didn't want to

face the fact that Derek married her to spite Hal, get
back the Graves Family inheritance, and further his
political career. David continued to tell her about Derek
sending his attorney to the jail to bribe him, threatening
to harm her and the baby if they didn't give up the money,
and then trying to kill him.
When he was finished, Hal turned to Rachel and begged

her to leave Derek because she and the baby would always
be hostages.
"Don't you see, I can't leave Derek. He will find me

and probably kill my baby. Besides, where would I go. I
can't come to live with you with Zenobia being there."
Pastor Allen looked at Hal and David, as if to say that
Rachel definitely had made a point. Zenobia needed to be
taken into consideration. For the moment, no one knew what
to say or do. Reluctantly, Hal said that he would change
his name also for the baby's sake.
"Okay, everyone wants to change their name so the baby

can identify with his family and be seen as legitimate.
This is good, but, what will it change in God's eyes? What
do we need to do to make things right for the baby's
spiritual life? God is a holistic God who treats the whole
person. He wants things to be right mentally, physically
and spiritually. Changing your name is a sign of wanting
acceptance from the world. It can also send a message of
your strength and intent to the entire Graves Family.
However, our intent should be to please God, first. If you
are going into battle, don't you want God on your side?"
971
Everyone was quiet for a while, as they meditated on

Pastor Allen's words.
Hal watched Rachel out of the corner of his eye. The

first thing that he had noticed about her was her glow.
Her face seemed a little rounder but her beauty was
enhanced by a healthy glow. Unlike Zenobia whose pregnancy
was draining the life from her, pregnancy seemed to agree
with Rachel. Or could it be that by not having him in her
life, Rachel was a lot happier and had less stress in her
life, he thought?
He blamed himself for Zenobia's unhappiness. He began

to think that perhaps, Derek was the better choice, if
Rachel was happy and healthy. Then, coming to his senses,
he remembered that Rachel and their baby weren't safe with
Derek and he definitely wasn't the right man for Rachel.
**********************************************************
Steve and Jake weren't taking any chances. They had

come with Hal to the meeting. They were in a van nearby
with guards strategically planted around the church
staying out of sight. They had dropped Hal and his father
off at the church, hidden remote cameras inside and
outside of church and went to listen and watch the
surveillance cameras in a nearby crowded parking lot. The
guards had instructions on what to do if Derek or any of
his men showed up.
**********************************************************
Hal began telling his story from the day he went to

interview Tanya at the hospital and met Miriam Barrett. He
972
told her how he didn't want to involve her in what was

going on because he wanted to protect her from the Graves.
He looked at Pastor Allen, then, confessed.
"I admit that I was also caught up in the prospect of

career success and material wealth. But, my feelings for
you have always been genuine Rachel, since the first day I
met you at The Daily. Sometimes, what drove me was the
idea of bettering myself to be worthy of you."
Rachel started sobbing hysterically. Hal rushed to

comfort her, kneeling in front of her holding her hands.
Pastor Allen, taking out his handkerchief and wiping his
eyes, was the first to speak, pleading with her.
"Rachel, honey, please, I know people expect me to be

used to this but, I can never get used to seeing people
hurt and in pain, especially a woman. Don't blame yourself
for what you did. We're all responsible. That's why God
want's to keep us from sin. Two wrongs can never make
something right. We've got to try and do what is right
from now on. What's pleasing in God's eyes."
Finally, things started calming down.
"The enemy knew our plan. So, it was never that simple.
He knew how we all felt and that was the give-a-way. We
may not reveal to one another how we feel, but, God and
the adversary always know because we are all Spiritual
Beings.
When I came to your office last week you were

embarrassed, weren't you?
973
Rachel nodded her head and covered her face.
My paying you a visit and your guilt and shame played

into your deciding to fly to Las Vegas to elope with
Derek. Am I right?
Rachel nodded her head and cried even harder.
Like most unwed women carrying a child, you wanted a

father for your child and to be married. No one can blame
you for that. You were following your heart and believing
you were making things better.
Now...ALL OF US...need to make sure our heart is in the

right place...following Jesus, instead of our own desires
and plans. If you don't feel that you know Him. There's no
better time to get started. It's never too late. Jesus
will show us what is pleasing in God's eyes.
Mr. Siegfried...David, why do you want to change your

name by adding Graves? Is it to get back at the Graves
family by embarrassing them and shaming them?
"Well..."
"Don't answer me now. I want you to take time to search

your heart and ask God's guidance.
The younger Mr. Siegfried...Hal, you seem to care a lot
about this woman, but..."
Rachel looked up with a tear-stained and saddened face.

Through tearful, watery eyes, she and Hal looked at one
974
another.
"...neither one of you could get on the same page and

work things out, because of your pride. If a relationship
is going to work, you must have unconditional love; not
just for one another, but for everyone. Now, because you
took God out of the picture, and started making your own
decisions and plans, you've both complicated things. The
only way to solve this mess is through total surrender and
sacrifice."
Pastor Allen noticed how they all looked at one another

questioningly when he mentioned sacrifice.
"Let me explain..."
You see, Jacob...Jacob, the son of Isaac, the son of

Abraham, had a similar problem. He was tricked into
marrying his Uncle Laban's elder daughter, Leah, and was
told that he had to work for him for seven years to get
Rachel, the other daughter, whom he truly loved and wanted
to marry. Still, he did what he had to do to get Rachel
because he loved her so much. He never stopped hoping for
things to come. He worked for his uncle for a total of
fourteen years to get Rachel. His uncle was a trickster,
just like he was. Anyway, to make a long story short,
things got complicated when he did get married. He married
sisters and there was jealousy. Rachel's sister, Leah,
knew that Jacob's love was for Rachel and not her. Yet,
God blessed Leah anyway and gave her many children for
Jacob, while Rachel remained barren for many years. Now,
perhaps, there is where the comparison ends.
Hal, unless God intervenes, it's going to take some

time to right this wrong, therefore, you must make
975
sacrifices, by surrendering your will to God. We can't

always have what we want, when we want it. Nor, can we
mistreat others to get it.
You have a responsibility to Zenobia and your child

with her, also. Now, we know Rachel is in a precarious
position..."
"Precarious?! Her life and the baby's life is in

danger! We don't know what Derek is going to do, but, he
will definitely do something if she doesn't go back to
him!"
"Hold on now, I'm getting to that. The important thing

is to make sure Rachel is in a safe and loving
relationship, I mean, marriage doesn't seem to have taken
place for her and the child's benefit. However, we must
respect the bonds of marriage..."
"RESPECT THE BONDS OF MARRIAGE?!!"
"HAL! Listen to the man...I mean the pastor. Pastor

Allen, go on."
"Thank you Mr. Siegfried. Hal, I understand how you see

this. However, we don't have the right to tell Rachel what
to do or force her to leave her husband; that, she must
decide to do on her own."
Hal looked at Rachel's wedding rings, then, he looked

into her eyes, hoping to see the answer he wanted.
Rachel's head was spinning from all of the crying and
976
the unexpected news she had received. She was having

trouble thinking and trying to find the words she wanted
to say to Hal. She couldn't look at him, feeling that way
that she felt, so she lowered her head from his expectant
stare.
"I...I...can't help loving you Hal...but...but, I can't

l-leave him now, not yet."
Hal jumped up and crossed the room with clinched fists.

He leaned against the wall and pounded it with his fist.
"HAL, CONTROL YOURSELF!"
"It's alright, Mr. Siegfried. Rachel, you do understand

that we're concerned about your safety and the baby's
safety, and it is Hal's baby, too?
Keeping a lowered head, Rachel replied in a very quiet

and timid voice. "Yes, pastor, I understand."
"RACHEL, YOU CAN'T GO BACK INTO THE ARMS OF A MAN WHO

TRIED TO KILL YOUR BABY'S GRANDFATHER! AND, HE'S PLANNING
TO KILL ME! HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT OUR BABY!"
"Son, don't try to put guilt on her.

Rachel...sweetheart...I hope you know how much I care
about you and it's not just because of the baby. You're
like a daughter to me. I don't want anything to happen to
you..."
"Don't worry, Mr. Siegfried. I've been looking for an

excuse to clear out my apartment, since I've been staying
977
with Derek. I'm not going back to his...well, I guess it's

our house now. I'm going, I'm going to take some time to
think about things. I'll tell Derek that since we're
married now that I need to get rid of my apartment, so,
I'm staying at my apartment until I've boxed up everything
and moved it into storage. I...I just need time to think
about what to do next."
"Rachel, you may not be safe there, either. I know Hal

and I don't have a place for you right now, but, I'd like
you to at least consider us providing you with security;
someone to keep an eye on you; and someone you can call on
if you need help; and you know you can always call me, or,
Hal."
"And you know I'm still your pastor, Rachel. You don't
have to go through this alone. You never did. We at the
church are here for you."
"I kn-know. It-it was me. I pushed everyone away. I

knew I wasn't living right and God wasn't pleased."
"God may not be pleased with us Rachel, but, He never

abandons us."
They all sat quietly for a while. Then, suddenly, the

church doorbell rang and everyone jumped. Through the
surveillance camera on his computer, Pastor Allen saw a
tall and stocky man staring up at the camera. He turned
the screen for the others to see if they could identify
the man. Rachel looked at the screen in horror and gasped.
Knowing what she now knew about Derek and his men, she was
terrified.
978
"It's one of Derek's bodyguards! He had me followed!

What am I going to do?!"
Pastor Allen looked at them reassuringly.
"Don't worry. I'd told you that I could handle it if

this happened."
He spoke to the man over the intercom.
"Hello, this is Pastor Fitzgerald. May I help you?"
"Yeah, I'm looking for Mrs. Graves, Rachel Montgomery,

she's a perisher, a perish-ner...uhh...part of this
church. She goes here doesn't she? Is she here?"
"And who are you, sir?"
"Well, I...I work for her husband. She's pregnant and

he's worried about her, since she didn't come home. May I
come in?"
"He's lying, pastor. I told Derek I'd be at the Daily

catching up on work tonight. Why would he come here?
Hal answered very sarcastically.
"Your husband doesn't trust you, Rachel! But, then, why

should he? You lied to him. So you must not trust him,
either."
979
"SON! You're embarrassing yourself, we all know how

hurt you are."
"I'll meet you in the vestibule, mister, uh...What did

you say your name was?"
"I didn't! Mac...you can call me Mr. Mac."
Pastor Fitzgerald cut the bodyguard off in the hallway

and told him that he and Rachel were still in conference
and he was welcome to wait inside the sanctuary for
Rachel. He started talking to Mr. Mac about God and asking
him if he had given his life to God and believed in His
Son Christ Jesus. Then, he began gathering and presenting
him with various materials to read about faith and
discipleship. Then, he began to question him about his
life and his family. He moved closer and closer to Mr. Mac
each time, encroaching upon his personal space, making him
become more and more uncomfortable. He continued working
on recruiting Mr. Mac as a disciple and suggested
participation in the choir or as an usher. He pressured
Mr. Mac like he had never pressured anyone to become part
of the church. Finally, Mr. Mac had had enough.
"I don't want to keep Mrs. Graves waiting on my

account, Pastor. How about I go wait outside. I don't
mind. I like the outdoors."
"You do? Oh, we really need someone to help our

groundskeeper. He's getting old and can't do it all by
himself. Let me go outside with you to show you the work
that needs to be done. It will only take a minute."
Pastor Allen walked outside with Mr. Mac and noticed a
980
man he didn't know gathering fallen dead branches and

weeding. The churches gardener never worked on Sundays. He
was tempted to say something to the man, when he felt the
Holy Spirit move within him and he was momentarily
silenced.
"Well, uh, some other time, pastor...uh...on second

thought...uh.. I think I can tell Mr. Graves that his wife
is fine, in good hands, and she'll be home soon. He's
waiting to hear from me. I better go now."
"Can't you call him while we talk?"
"No, the boss likes us to report in person. Maybe I'll

see you later when you're finished with Mrs. Graves."
"That would be nice."
"Yeah, real nice. Bye!"
The bodyguard who called himself, Mr. Mac, walked

quickly to his car and sped out of sight.
Pastor Allen watched and listened as the new volunteer

gardener adjusted his earpiece, talked to other security
guards planted around, and then, placed the gun that he
was hiding back into the holster beneath his coat.
Returning to his office and opening the door, Pastor

Allen found Hal holding Rachel, ready to protect her and
David Siegfried with his hand in his suit jacket ready to
981
pull out something hidden inside, which he could only

assume was a weapon. He shook his head at the lifestyle
these people were forced to choose and the lifestyle to
which he was now a part of.
"It's alright everyone. We're alone now. I got rid of

Mr. Mac. He's gone to report to your husband, Rachel."
Hal was clearly irritated with Pastor Allen for

insisting on referring to Rachel as Derek's wife. It was a
reality he was not ready to accept.
"Now, everyone have a seat and let's finish this

meeting and get Mrs. Graves...uh..Rachel somewhere safe,
where she wants to be."
Sensing the tension from Hal, Pastor Allen, realized

that he was the irritant responsible for Hal's irritation.
He decided it was probably best that he dispense with
references to Rachel's marital status around Hal, for now.
"Rachel, if you ever need a place to stay, our guest

room is open to you, anytime. I know my wife would say the
same thing. For now, you say you want to go back to your
apartment. How long do you think you can keep things from
your...uh...Derek? You just got married. He won't want you
staying away too long."
"I...I know...uh...but...OH I CAN'T THINK! I DON'T

KNOW! I don't know what I'm going to do!"
"Well, Rachel, we're going to keep you in prayer. Will

you at least accept protection as Mr. Siegfried
982
suggested?"
"But....but...if Derek is having me watched, he'll know

that Hal is watching me too. The guards may see one
another."
"Rache...Rache, that's what we're counting on so that

Derek doesn't try anything. Don't worry, our guys can
handle themselves. We're prepared now. We aren't taking
any chances of someone getting hurt or killed, if we can
help it. PLEASE RACHE! LET ME DO THIS FOR YOU AND FOR OUR
BABY!"
"Oh...well, okay. But, what if he asks me if I've seen

you? Then, what do I say?"
"You've lied..."
"HAL!"
"You're right, Dad, it's time to stop being bitter.

Tell Derek the truth, Rache. If we're going to do things
right, let's do it all the way. I started all of the
lying. Now, I have to set the example in doing what's
right. I'm not going to lie to Zenobia, anymore. I love
you Rache and I'll always love you. And...and...I'm sorry
for all of the mess, chaos and danger I've brought into
your life..."
"But, I'm the one who got involved with Derek, Hal!. I
didn't plan to, but, it just happened."
"Look Son, Rachel, we all can take some of the blame in
983
this, but, like the pastor said, we've got to start

looking to God for solutions. That's why things happened
as they did. We didn't have enough faith to trust God and
do things His way.
"Hal, call Steve or Jake and set things up for tonight.

Rachel, do you mind me seeing you home tonight?"
Rachel looked at Hal, who turned his head, feeling

embarrassed that he wasn't in the position to offer to
take her home. They both knew that he had to go home to
Zenobia.
"Yes, Mr. Siegfried. I'd like that very much. I've

missed you and our talks."
David smiled as only a father would, knowing that his

child loved him.
Thinking about how Rachel belonged to someone else, Hal

looked at Rachel with his heart aching so badly he could
barely stand it. Lovingly, he looked at her stomach,
wanting to touch it and feel the baby inside. He
remembered what he had asked Rachel about Auntie Tanya...
"Do you think there's any hope for Tanya and her
family?"
"Hope is eternal Hal. Where God's Grace and Mercy

allows it, only He knows. No one can predict who He sends
it with. Perhaps, that's the real reason why you're
there."
984
Imagining their child, who would soon be emerging into

the world, Hal knew what he had to do. Hal closed his eyes
and began to hope.
985
Episode 46
986

Episode 46
David Siegfried awoke from his slumber and looked at

the clock. It was 11:27 p.m. Considering the time, like
most parents concerned about their children, he wondered
if Hal had made it home safely. If he did, David knew that
Hal would just go to his room and allow him to sleep.
Still, since he'd been at the hospital, seeing his son at
least once during the day, gave him peace and
satisfaction. He had grown accustomed to checking Hal's
room to make sure that he had arrived home.
Having maneuvered himself out of bed and then into his

wheelchair, he stealthily made his way down the hallway,
trying to avoid being heard by anyone who might spoil his
plans and take him back to his room. When he reached Hal's
room, he knocked softly, then, half-whispered his name.
After doing this for about a minute, he peeked inside of
the door. Hal's bed was still made and clearly had not
been slept in. He decided to check the waiting room in
that wing and some of the other areas, but, no one was
around.
Feeling a little hungry, he headed toward the dining

area, hoping Zenobia wasn't awake to thwart his plan to
get what he wanted to eat. As he approached the elevator,
the security guards stopped him and almost ruined
everything.
987
"Are you looking for your son, Mr. Siegfried?!"
"SSHHH! Yes, Jake!"
"Well, he's that way, in Mrs. Yanovich's room."
David continued to go in the direction of the dining

room.
"I said that he's THAT WAY, MR. SIEGFRIED!" He and the
other guard began to laugh.
"SSHHH! I heard you! Thank you!"
David sped up the wheelchair, continuing to the dining

room, while the guards laughed, having watched him go
through this routine before, where he waited until
everyone was asleep to depart from his strict and closely
watched diet.
For some reason, all of the desserts were either eaten

or put someplace where he couldn't find them. Maybe they
were on to him, he thought.
"Somebody ratted on me. Probably those security guards

snitched and told Zenobia about my late night fiascoes.
They're due for a little payback."
Begrudgingly, he grabbed an apple and some grape juice.

He detested the thought of once again, having to pass "the
988
two clowns in the hallway," as he liked to refer to the

security guards, since they made fun of him. However,
there was no other way to reach Hal. Neither did he relish
the idea of going into Tanya Yanovich's room. He shuddered
thinking about it, but, perhaps he'd just say hello and
leave.
"Hopefully," he thought, "she's asleep."
He whizzed by the chuckling and snickering guards, and

made a fast, sharp left turn that almost sent him toppling
over in the wheelchair. He almost lost his apple, but,
caught it between his knees. Using his foot to reduce his
speed, he was able to stay upright. Then, he began a slow
and reluctant approach to Tanya's door, which was always
kept open.
He found Hal asleep in a reclining chair, with his

notebook and pen still in his lap. Trying to decide
whether or not to wake him, he looked over at Tanya. She
appeared to be asleep, also. He looked around the room,
which was certainly strangely decorated for a hospital
room. Yet, he gathered that they were trying to make her
feel as much at home as possible.
"Rich people are used to living rich," he said, shaking

his head.
He took out his grape juice and began to take a

swallow, when, Tanya spoke to him.
"Come to see about your son, David?"
989
The voice was strained, but, David could understand

what she said. He stopped swallowing and almost choked.
"Y--Y-Yes, ma'am. I thought...I thought e-everyone was

asleep."
"It's just you and me, David. The night owls."
David laughed nervously.
"I was just getting a little late night snack, heh-

heh."
"Don't worry, David, your secret is safe with me. I

can't stand this hospital food, either. Come closer,
please."
David turned his head, looking towards the doorway,

and wanting to escape. However, good manners and slow
reflexes, due to old age, kept him in place. Slowly, he
rolled himself to Tanya's side of the room, close to her
bed.
"I'm glad you're here, David, and I got a chance to

meet you before I'm gone. I always wanted to meet you.
Your wife said that you were a good man."
"My wife! Y-you, you, you knew my wife?!"
Suddenly, David became anxious and distraught. Thinking

of Kari often saddened him.
990
"Oh, I only met her briefly, but, I had been keeping my

eye on her for a while. We talked about you that night at
the hospital."
"That night?! What night?!"
"The night before she died."
David's voice shook as he spoke. "You?! You were with

her?"
He gulped as tears began to stream down his face and

his hands shook so that he had to put the bottle of grape
juice down.
"Th-then y-you know that..."
Wiping his face with the sleeve of his robe, he was

unable to go on.
"Yes, David, I know that you weren't there and you had
abandoned your wife, because, you were with another woman.
Of course, you didn't expect her to die so soon, but, you
knew that she wasn't going to live much longer."
David wept profusely.
"Now, now...we've all got skeletons in our closet.

Especially, if you're a Graves and for a while, I thought
you were a chip off of the old block, just like my
991
father--a cheater, a womanizer, a misogynist, and a liar.

It hurt me to watch you destroy yourself and your
marriage. I didn't want you to be like my father. I had
hoped you'd break the curses in this family. For a while,
I had lost hope, but, you proved me wrong. God proved me
wrong. He showed me that we shouldn't give up on people."
"You spied on us all of our lives?"
"If that's what you'd like to think, but, I saw it as

loving and protecting you from a distance."
"What...what else did Kari say before she died?"
"When I was notified that she didn't have long to live,

I arranged to see her that night. They told me that she
was still very much there in mind and able to talk. I
didn't know it would be her last night, but, I very much
wanted to be there for her. They told me that you hadn't
been there to spend time with her for a while."
David covered his face in shame.
"She knew who I was, but, she had no idea why I had
come to see her, or why I knew so much about her family. I
expected her to be extremely shocked when I told her our
family secret about you and Hal, but, she laughed. "That's
where he gets those ways from," she said.
I told her that I couldn't risk exposing who you were

because it would place your lives in danger. She said that
she understood. Then, I told her that I was going to make
a way for you and Hal to be well taken care of one day and
992
she didn't have to worry about you, because, I would

always be there for both of you. That made her smile.
She...she went to sleep with that peaceful smile on her
face."
Tears flowed from Tanya's eyes.
But, before I left, we talked about you. She loved you

so much. She defended you for not being there. She said
the break in the marriage was just as much her fault and
she had helped to drive you away from her."
"NO...no...none of it was her fault. It was me. I was

selfish and stupid and...and...scared!"
"Of course, I knew where you were that night. It had

been reported to me. That's why I knew I had to go and be
with her. But, I listened to her defend the man that she
loved so deeply. She talked about her son, Hal, her
father-in law who was so good to her, and the church she
loved. She would miss it all, she said.
She thanked God for being blessed with a good man who
was a good father to her son. She thanked me for coming.
Then, she said that she already knew her family would be
fine and taken care of, and that she would never be truly
absent from them, because, she would be in their hearts.
God had promised her He'd watch over them, she said. Her
faith and belief was very strong.
I stayed there holding her hand, until she fell asleep,

listening to her talk about your wonderful Christmases
together, the family trips, and church fellowships. I told
her not to talk so much, but, she said that she needed to.
993
Now, that my time has come, I understand. I guess that's

why I'm talking to you. I know that G-God sent you here,
to-tonight.
Tanya paused to calm herself.
"Oh, anyway...
Your wife and I had a good talk about Hal. She told me
how well Hal was doing in school; how bright he was, and
what a loving son he was. She cried as she talked about
not seeing him graduate from high school or college; not
seeing him get married; or, having children, one day. She
asked me to be her eyes for her and see what she would
miss.
I remember that night, as if it were yesterday. It

meant a lot to me, because it taught me a lot about being
a woman, a mother, and a wife. She was a good woman. A
woman of virtue and I so wanted to be like her. I sat
there holding her hand, not wanting to let go, because, I
was dying inside and she was keeping me alive.
Finally...finally, she fell asleep, with that peaceful

smile on her face and I left at dawn. That day, she
peacefully drifted away from us and I am grateful for
having known Karina Siegfried."
David looked at Tanya in amazement. He had had no idea

who this woman was, but, now, he could see. He had judged
her harshly, not really knowing what was inside of her. He
reached for her hand and held it in his.
994
"Yes, Kari had that effect on people. She gave a piece

of herself to everybody she met."
David, no longer thinking of her as just Tanya Yanovich

Graves, sat there talking, holding his aunt's hand, until
they both had peacefully drifted off to sleep.
**********************************************************
Sitting vigilantly, peeking out of the sheer draperies

in Rachel's apartment, David's thoughts were on his
deceased wife and the conversation he had with his Aunt
Tanya the night before she died. He also thought about
what Pastor Fitzgerald had asked him to think about.
"Why do you want to add Graves to your name?"
It wasn't a name that anyone could be particularly

proud of in this day and age, but, perhaps, it was time to
change that.
Aunt Tanya had hoped he would change things for the

Graves Family. She had hoped for him to become different.
Not only different, but, better than his grandfather,
President Willard Graves.
"What a weight she carried," he thought. "Not only for

herself and her father, but, for me, Hal, Kari, and Dad.
It's time for me to do my part. God, you allowed this for
a reason. I am who I am because You allowed it happen to
make me into who You want me to be--a Child of God. That's
what matters. All of this other stuff is to distract me
from seeking the Kingdom of God, first. All that matters
995
is that my name is written in Your book in Heaven and I'm

Heaven bound.
Aunt Tanya was looking for a new start for the Graves
Family through my seed. She was there for my family, when
I wasn't, Lord. Heavenly Father, help me to fulfill her
hope in Your name for Your Kingdom and not for the world.
Perhaps, that's why I feel I'm supposed to add Graves to
my name. I'm taking back what belongs to God! All praise
and glory be to God!"
A car drove up to the building and he jumped up ready

to take whatever action was necessary. However, it was his
nurse coming to administer his medications, accompanied by
a bodyguard.
He could see one of their bodyguards parked in a car

across the street, but, he wanted to keep a watchful eye
out for anyone suspicious, or for Derek Graves, himself.
No one was going to hurt Rachel while he was around.
She had agreed to let him sleep on the sofa for the
night, because, she was feeling uneasy, too. He had been
sitting next to her, when she called to tell Derek that
she would be going to her apartment to box everything up
and clear it out. She told him that she would be staying
there until everything was cleared away. Rachel had been
quick and decisive, but, her voice was shaky and insecure.
No doubt, Derek had to know something was up, and the
bodyguard who had come to the church, probably had given
him plenty of reason not to trust Rachel.
David went to let the nurse into the building, then

checked on Rachel, who was finally asleep. It was becoming
very clear to him that, although, there had been murders
996
and attempted murders, things were just beginning to heat

up in this family feud and there was no telling how hot it
would get.

Episode 47
AUNTIE YONNY:
HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE
997
Intermittent Waves Recorded From The Transformed Heart

Of A Woman
Episode 47
AUNTIE YONNY:
HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE
David jerked in his sleep. Something had startled him,

but, his mind was still in its dream state. He thought
that he must still be dreaming. Since the shooting, he had
been having nightmares, from time to time. He had never
taken a man's life before. His nightmares would always
take him back to that crucial moment, when he
instinctively pulled the trigger. Although, the man died
instantly, in the dream, the man would collapse in slow
motion, while he watched his life being drained from him,
for what seemed like hours.
The nightmares were so disturbing that his sleep

pattern began to change, as if his mind wanted to avoid
further torture by avoiding going to sleep. Staying awake
and thinking about things was just as bad as having
nightmares and it was wearing him down. Knowing that it
was a risk, with his heart condition, he talked his nurse
into giving him sleeping pills, anyway. But, last night,
he had refused the pill, in order to stay alert and on
watch. He wondered. Could it be another nightmare?
Louder and more rapid firing made his body jerk again.
This time his mind was able to recognize it as an outside
source. He realized that he was hearing gunshots. Not
realizing where he was, he rolled over and fell on the
floor. Just as the reality of the here and now began to
998
sink in, to further injure himself, he accidentally hit

his head on the coffee table trying to get up.
"I'm some kind of bodyguard." He mumbled. "The enemy

won't have anything to worry about. I'm going to kill
myself!"
Keeping low, he called out to Rachel.
"Rachel! Rachel! Are you all right in there! Get on the

floor and stay there! RACHEL?!"
"Y-y-yes, I-I'm alright. Okay. I'm on the floor, now!"
When Rachel heard the shots, she became tense and

froze. Holding her stomach, she was afraid for her baby's
safety, but, she couldn't move. David's voice made her
realize that she had to do something to help save her
child and herself. Quickly, she got out of bed, crouching
down low, then, laid down on the floor, sticking part of
her body under the bed.
David, peeked above the window sill to see if he could

see what was going on. The sun was coming up and he was
able to make out figures below. The blast of a shotgun let
him know that it wasn't over. Sirens began to blare,
letting him know that help was on the way. After the
police arrived and positioned themselves, there was rapid
firing like the end of a fireworks display.
"WE GOT HIM!"
"Where did the other one go?!"
999
"HE GOT AWAY!"
"He can't have gone far. I think we wounded him."
"Start checking the buildings and get some more squads

out here to check the residents!"
"Was this a gang war?"
"I don't know. Find out who this thug is under the car.
He's got some wire cutters over there. See what else he
had on him and run these plates to find out whose car it
is."
David knew whose car it was. It was Rachel's and it was

shot full of holes like Swiss cheese. The guy under the
car must have been trying to sabotage Rachel's car. She
definitely wasn't safe anymore. He looked for any of their
men, but, they had left the scene. How would that look, he
wondered? But, they hadn't killed the man. The police
killed him and wounded the other man. David hoped that
Steve and Jake knew what they were doing.
Rachel...the police would find out that was her car and
come knocking on the door. He remembered the gunman
waiting for him outside of the jail. Did they want Rachel
to be involved with the police, not knowing who they could
trust?
David rushed to Rachel's room.
1000
"Rachel! Rachel!" He tried to whisper. "Come on! We've

got to get out of here!"
"B-But...but, the police..."
"We don't know who we can trust yet, Rachel. We've got
to go, NOW! Show me where the back door is. Just throw on
a robe or a coat and some shoes. Lord, help us!"
Rachel quickly grabbed her coat and purse, then,

slipped on some shoes. Opening the door carefully, holding
onto his gun, David peeked out of the door and looked
around. Then grabbing Rachel's hand, they crept down the
hallway to the stairwell and out the backdoor before the
police had finished running her license plate and finding
out exactly where she lived.
Due to the effects of global warming, it was chilly

outside for June and it had begun to rain. As the cold,
hard drops poured down relentlessly, flooding the ground,
it made the conditions of their escape even more miserable
and the need to find shelter more urgent. They hadn't gone
far when both of their phones rang. Still frightened,
Rachel jumped. Thinking it was Derek, she was afraid to
answer. Relief came over her, when the phone number came
up as Hal's. David was already talking to someone on his
phone.
"Yes, I'm with her now....We left. I got her out of

there before the police came. I wasn't sure who to
trust....okay...Where are we at now?...uh...uh...let me
see..."
Rachel broke down in tears. "Ha-a-al! I-I-I'm so
1001
scared...I don't know what to do!...Yes, I'm with your

dad. We left my apartment. We're on the street right now."
David could hear yelling on Rachel's phone so he bent

over to talk into it.
"We're trying to get her to someplace safe! I'm talking

to Jake right now! They're coming to get us. They'll be
here in a minute!"
"Jake, we're at the corner of Spruce and Fifth Street

and we're going into a coffee shop to wait for you...okay,
thanks, bye."
David heard Rachel tell Hal that she would talk to him
later. He grabbed her hand and felt it trembling with her
whole body. He wrapped his arms around her, but, she
couldn't stop shaking. David looked carefully around them
first, to make sure no one was watching them. Then, they
ducked into the coffee shop to wait for their ride.
The limousine pulled up right after they had taken

their seats. Watching the street from the window, the
second they pulled up, David grabbed Rachel's hand to
whisk her away to the car. One of the other bodyguards
jumped out of the car and into the store to help. It
happened so fast that Rachel felt she had been lifted from
her seat to the inside of the limousine. Perhaps, she was,
she thought. She really didn't know. Still in shock, she
was scared, cold, emotional, drenched from the rain, and
pregnant.
"Sorry, Mr. Siegfried, we didn't mean to leave you

behind for so long. Things got complicated when the police
1002
came. We didn't know you would leave the building. The

whole area is swarming with police, so, we had to make it
look like we were coming into the area."
"I did what I thought was best, Jake."
"It was good thinking, Mr. Siegfried. You're right. We

can't trust the police, right now."
"Have you heard from Steve, Jake?" David asked.
"He had to fly to the west coast to one of our

businesses. There was another break in, but, this time
with arson, too. Someone set fire to a warehouse."
"Oh, Lord! Was anybody hurt?!"
"A supervisor, a worker, and a night security guard

were burned badly trying to get everybody out of the
building. The guard is in critical condition..."
"Father, have mercy!"
"...but, we caught the guy! He's being questioned by

the police. Steve is going to see if there is a connection
to our problem here. Your son has been furious ever since
he found out, Mr. Siegfried. Now...now this..."
"What happened back there, Jake?"
"Our men caught two guys tampering with Ms.
1003
Montgomery's car. They watched him walk down the street

with another guy and then he slid under her car. When one
of the guards yelled out to him, the other guy takes out a
gun and starts shooting. The guy under the car pulls his
gun out and its on. Four of our guys against the two of
them. We would have had them if the cops hadn't come. I'd
like to have asked them who hired them for the job, but,
its not hard to figure out. Still, I'd like to have heard
it from their own mouths so that I could...oh...excuse
me...Ms. Montgomery. I don't want to upset you anymore
than what you already are.
Anyway, we've got someone tailing the other guy who got
away. He'll lead us right back to the kingpin. It's going
to be alright. We're collecting evidence, Mr. Siegfried.
And, the more Derek Graves lashes out and tries to hurt
us, the more evidence we have.
He's so blinded by his arrogance and hatred that he

can't see that he's injuring himself or that two people
can play his game. He reminds you of his grandfather,
doesn't he? Oh, I'm sorry, Mr..."
David Siegfried laughed, taking no offense to what Jake

was implying about his and Derek Graves' grandfather.
However, Rachel didn't like the sound of what Jake was

implying, by, "two people can play his game."
"W-what do you mean...two people can play...?"
"Well, Ms. Montgomery, voices rising from the dead

seeking vengeance and trying to protect their own."
1004
Hal had told his father about the letter from Auntie
Tanya and that there would be more to come.
"Jake! Did Hal get another letter today?!"
"Yessiree, Mr. Siegfried, and there is nothing we can

do about it. It's already done."
Jake looked at the rain on the window and wiped it to

clear the fog, obscuring his vision.
"Water can put out most fires, but, tomorrow, for Mr.
Derek Graves, hellfire and brimstone is going to come
raining down on him on Wall Street. And since he likes
bonfires, so, much, we'll see how he likes watching his
money burn. There's no dousing this flame. If Satan could
have put out hell's fire, he would have done it a long
time ago."
Rachel looked out of the window at the rain with Jake.

She was thinking about Derek too, but, not in the way Jake
was. She twisted her wedding ring off of her finger and
slipped it into her pocket, thinking that any fire Derek
had kindled within her heart had fizzled out in the rain.
**********************************************************
My Dearest Hal,
I hope you have attempted to visit my

associates on Wall Street. They need to meet you.
1005
They can be of great help to you in the future.
On June 14, we have proclaimed D Day for Derek

Graves and a few others. My Wall Street
associates, along with some other high profile
business associates will be paying back a few
debts they owed me and my husband, Ilya Yanovich.
Things might get pretty crazy and dangerous.
Members of the Graves Family who have opposed us
will not be very happy at all.
My advice is to prepare for the unexpected,

keep your head down, and protect your family.
Since, this is a concerted effort to stop Derek
Graves, he won't know who to strike back at first.
However, he'll probably come for you first. Don't
worry, you have allies in strange and high places.
If all goes well, Derek will be out of the
presidential race, soon, financially bankrupt, and
cut off at the knees. He'll come begging to our
lenders and we'll own him.
This is how my father fell into the hands of
the Russians. However, he didn't go kicking and
screaming. He worshiped them and what they could
do for him. The pieces had been placed on the
chess board exactly where Putin had wanted them
and due to his corruption, arrogance, and
ignorance in business, my father had no choice but
to play along with Putin's game. Putin was there
to help him at every turn.
No one will be able to help Derek without
exposing themselves as having a part in his
corruption and crimes. The measures I and my
associates have taken may seem to be cold and
calculating, which is why I could not ask you to
take them. However, I have accepted my fate and
made my peace.
1006
I am an old warrior, Hal. Warfare is not the

same as it was hundreds of years ago. War never
was fair or honest, or, armies would lose the
element of surprise. Fairness would defeat the
purpose of victory over one's enemy. Someone has
to lose. Someone has to win.
What gives me the right to try and decide who

wins and loses? I don't know if I've truly figured
out right and wrong, when it comes to war, but,
I'm finally seeing the difference between good and
evil.
As always, to thwart evil, sacrifices have to
be made. Perhaps, I'm the Judas given over to
perdition, or, perhaps, by the Grace of God, I've
been given the role of the avenging angel.
Whichever it might be, I too am a chess piece upon
the board and even if I stand still and do
nothing, the object of the game is to win.
Therefore I must make a choice to surrender or
advance to victory. I've given enough victories to
the enemy and through my weaknesses, others have
suffered. It's time to be on the winning side. I
can only pray that God will have me. My dear
nephew, your love has given me hope. I thank you
with all of my heart.
Love, Auntie Tanya
Last night, he couldn't even go in and lay beside

Zenobia in their bedroom. He went into his study and
rested on one of the sofas. Unable to sleep, he had gone
into the office early as the sun was coming up.
Tanya's letter had been placed in the center of his
1007
desk, so that he would see it and read it immediately.

After reading it, he laid down for a while, until he got
the call about the shoot out. Panic set in and he'd been
pacing the floor, waiting to hear if Rachel, his father,
and everyone else was alive and well.
He tucked away Tanya's letter inside his jacket and

thought about her words carefully. Going home to Zenobia
yesterday, after seeing Rachel had placed a lot of guilt
within him. He was still hurt and angry, knowing that
Derek and Rachel were married.
"No, war isn't fair," he thought. "And, I've

complicated this one and made it personal."
1008
Episode 48
AUNTIE YONNY: ZENOBIA
1009

Episode 48
AUNTIE YONNY: ZENOBIA
"Okay, where are we going Jake?"
"Your son said to bring her home, Mr. Siegfried."
Rachel and David looked at one another.
"Don't worry, Rachel. It's only temporary, until we can

get you to someplace safe."
Shivering, Rachel laid her head on David's arm and

closed her eyes. She really didn't care where she went at
that moment. She just wanted to be safe, dry, and warm.
**********************************************************
As she gathered her things together, putting them into

her suitcases, Zenobia anxiously went to look out of the
upstairs window, from time to time. Remembering the letter
in her pocket, she reached in and took it out. She didn't
care if she left without saying anything to Hal, but, she
would never leave without saying goodbye to his father,
whom she loved, dearly.
She hurried to his room and laid the letter on top of

the pillow on his bed. Turning, she looked at his
1010
medication bottles, neatly lined up in a row, behind the

glass door of the medicine cabinet. Having a trained eye,
when it came to identifying medications, her eyes stopped
and focused upon a bottle that definitely didn't belong.
She opened the cabinet and pulled it out, reading the
prescription date and the dosage. Fuming, she set out to
find Carolyn, David's nurse, calling out her name.
"CAROLYN?!...CAROLYN?!"
Zenobia forgot all about packing her bags and getting

out before Hal arrived. She went from room to room
upstairs and then, downstairs, until she found Carolyn
having coffee with one of the maids. Holding up the
bottle, with the look of sheer rage upon her face, she
confronted Carolyn. Knowing what it was, Carolyn gasped
when she saw the bottle.
"CAROLYN?!...What is the meaning of this?! Are you out

of your mind?! Are you trying to KILL Mr. Siegfried?!"
"I...I...NO! I-I-I was just t-trying to help him sleep!
"FOREVER?! YOU KNOW BETTER! YOU KNOW HOW BAD HIS HEART
IS! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO SUCH A THING!"
Carolyn stood up and became indignant.
"I was keeping close watch over him and his vital
signs. I know what I'm doing! I'm just as good a nurse as
you are."
"Well, if you are just as good a nurse as I am, then,
1011
you'd know that I'd never do such a thing!"
"Well, maybe if you weren't so busy being selfish and

psychotic you could take care of Mr. Siegfried yourself!
Maybe you should have looked before you leaped into bed
with his son!"
"THAT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"
"It's EVERYBODY'S business now that our lives are in

danger and he's trying to protect his other baby's mom-ma.
Don't take it out on me because you can't hold his
attention away from the competition!"
Carolyn felt it, but, she never saw it coming. Her face
was burning and stinging from the blow of Zenobia's hand.
It had been a quick, hard slap, that sent Carolyn
careening, spinning and bumping into the kitchen table.
The maid jumped up and ran to the other side of the room.
Carolyn leaned over the table, holding her face, outraged,
then, turned to return the blow. Zenobia held up her arm,
blocking Carolyn's arm, then, pushed her away.
"I'M GOING TO SUE YOU, ZENOBIA!"
Calmly and icily Zenobia walked up to Carolyn and

stared into her eyes.
"Go ahead and I'll make sure you lose your license and
never work as a nurse again. Get out! You're fired!"
1012
"You can't do that, Zenobia!"
"Oh, yes, I can. I may be the other baby's mom-ma, but,

I am the woman of this house. Pack your things and get
out, today! I'll give you one hour to leave! Now, get out
of my sight!"
Zenobia didn't know what came over her, but, she had
lost control. With her fists balled, ready to enforce her
command, she eased up and backed away from Carolyn, giving
her enough room to escape. Snatching her phone and keys
off of the table, Carolyn ran out of the room, sobbing.
Zenobia, yelled after her.
"MAKE SURE YOU LEAVE ALL OF YOUR KEYS TO THE HOUSE,

CAROLYN!"
The stunned and nervous maid, hurriedly began working,

as if she were the one under Zenobia's fire and wrath.
Still unable to believe all that had just transpired,

Zenobia sat at the table and calmed herself.
**********************************************************
The limousine arrived at the mansion, right after

Carolyn, disgraced and outraged, rode off in a taxi. When
they reached the doors, Jake took Rachel out of the car
and carried her into the house. He took her to a guest
room in his wing of the mansion. Moments later, Hal's
chauffeur pulled up and let Hal out. David was waiting for
him, when he entered the mansion.
1013
"Hal, you can't possibly expect Zenobia to...!
"The house is big enough for everybody..."
"That's not the point, Hal!"
"They never even have to see one another. Rachel will

have her own nurse and we can protect her, here. Where is
she?"
"Hal, you need to talk to Zenobia first."
"I've already talked to Zenobia. She agreed."
"What?! Zenobia agreed?!"
"Yes, Dad! Where's Rachel?"
"She's upstairs with Jake in the east wing."
Hal hurried and rushed up the stairs, taking two steps

at a time. Jake was just closing Rachel's door, when Hal
called out to him.
"Jake! Is she alright?!"
"Yes, Hal. She's pretty shaken and beat from the cold
and rain, but, she's fine."
Nervously, Hal knocked on the door and waited for the
1014
sound of Rachel's voice.
**********************************************************
Zenobia put her phone back into her pocket. She had
called Dr. Acharya, explaining to him that Carolyn had to
leave. She asked him to send out a new permanent nurse, as
soon as possible, and a temporary nurse for now. She rose
from the table to go finish packing.
Hearing all of the raucous, as she was walking down the

hallway, she turned around and took another route upstairs
to her room. Looking frantically around the room, she
decided to just take what she had already packed. Closing
the bags, she thanked God for the invention of the wheel,
then, stacked the suitcases and strapped them together. As
she rolled them to the elevator, keeping her eyes ahead of
her, she resisted the urge to turn back, and refused to
look behind her.
She got into the elevator, feeling overwhelmed, and

stared up at the ceiling, on the way down, hoping she
wouldn't have another conflict. Seeing one of the security
guards, when she opened the door, she put her hand inside
of her coat pocket and wrapped it around the small
revolver nestled there. The guard greeted her with a smile
and didn't ask her any questions. She proceeded to the
front door, hoping the airport limousine she had requested
had arrived.
Of all people, David Siegfried had to be standing in

front of the door. When he saw her coming with her
suitcases, his eyes met hers and her heart sank. Moving
toward her, with arms stretched out protesting her
decision, she could hear his pleading, but, she tried to
1015
block it out.
"NO, ZENOBIA! You can't leave! PLEASE, ZENOBIA!"
Zenobia stood staring ahead of her as he held her by

the shoulders and pleaded with her. Afraid to look at him,
she stared ahead as she replied.
"I have to go Mr. Siegfried. The limousine is probably

waiting. Let me go, please."
David took her into his arms, crying and pleading. Two
security guards came into the room, followed by Jake. One
of the guards got on his radio. Zenobia knew that she had
to leave before they sent her limousine away.
"I HAVE TO GO, NOW, MR. SIEGFRIED!"
Zenobia pulled loose from David's grip and turned

around facing the guards. Reaching into her coat pocket
she pulled out the small revolver.
"I'm going now and no one better try and stop me!"
Jake put his hands up in surrender and motioned for the

other guards to stand down and not do anything to provoke
Zenobia.
"WHOA, WHOA, ZENOBIA! Nobody here is going to stop you

from doing anything. You're not a prisoner here. Let us
just get Hal and..."
1016
"NO! I don't want to see Hal! Just let me leave!"
"We can't let you leave here, unprotected, Zenobia. You

know that... "
"I'm not the kind of woman who needs to be protected. I

can take care of myself!"
"Well, we can see that...but... just let one of us go

get..."
"NO! I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE! I...I...I want to get

away from all of this: this house; this city; this crazy
Graves Family; this insane situation; and especially Hal!"
Just as another security guard was coming up from

behind Zenobia, Hal came running frantically down the
stairs, shouting.
"CAROLYN! WHERE'S CAROLYN?! RACHEL NEEDS HER!"
Everyone stood still waiting to see what Zenobia would

do. Hal, walked into the room and was speechless.
"ANY...one...Zenobia?"
The guard behind tried to approach Zenobia, but, she

knew he was there. She spun around and pointed the gun at
him, shouting...
1017
"DON'T MOVE!"
Zenobia began shaking and crying. Jake knew he had to

do something, quick. He stepped forward, but, she raised
the gun and pointed it at him. Hal came to his rescue.
"Zenobia?! What are you doing?!"
He looked at her packed bags and then, knew why she

felt threatened.
"Zenobia, I see you have your bags packed and you want
to leave, but, let's do this the right way. If you want to
leave, I'm not going to stop you and I won't tell anybody
else to stop you. You're free to go, but, please, let me
get some help for Rachel. She's in pain. I need to find
Carolyn."
Zenobia wiped her eyes and tried to steady herself.

She'd forgotten about Carolyn and their ordeal. Carolyn's
words filled her with more pain, realizing that she was
right about not having Hal's attention. Ready to break
down in tears, she almost lost control, until Hal moved
toward her. She aimed the gun at Hal, but, her nursing
instincts got the best of her.
"What's wrong with Rachel?"
"I'-I-I don't know. Sh-She's shivering and moaning,

holding her stomach. Can I go get Carolyn?"
"Carolyn isn't here anymore."
1018
"Sh-She's n-not h-here? W-what did you do to her,

Zenobia?"
Irritated at Hal's assumption that she had done away

with Carolyn, having shot and killed her, Zenobia shouted
at him.
"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HER. I FIRED HER!"
Zenobia looked at David and he looked at her,

knowingly. Quietly, she repeated herself.
"I fired her."
"Okay, I'm sure you had your reasons, but, I need to

get medical help for Rachel."
"Another nurse will be coming, today. I called Dr.

Acharya."
"Rachel needs help, now, Zenobia."
Zenobia began thinking, while everyone around her

looked at one another, wondering what to do next. And,
just like that, Zenobia lowered her gun, put it into her
pocket, and went into nursing mode. Taking her coat off,
she began ordering people around.
"Call Dr. Acharya and inform him of the situation. What

room is she in?... I said, what room is she in?!
1019
Still in disbelief, Jake swallowed and finally spoke

up.
"Uh...uh...east wing, across from my room."
Get me the medical tray from Mr. Siegfried's room and

I'll need someone to get me some supplies out of the
medical supply room. I won't know exactly what I'll need
until I look at the patient. Get me the guard who has
medical training, uh...Ri-Ricardo!
Still in shock, everyone stood still, unable to believe

the sudden change in Zenobia, or, that she would want to
help Rachel, after all she had been through.
"QUICK, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!"
Shaking her head at the bewildered men, Zenobia waddled

to the elevator and headed for the east wing.
1020

Episode 49
AUNTIE YONNY: ZENOBIA Part 2
Faith, Having No Respect of Person
James 2:13(NKJV)
For judgment is without mercy to the one who has

shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.
1021

Episode 49
AUNTIE YONNY: ZENOBIA Part 2
Faith, Having No Respect of Person
Zenobia was still doling out orders to Jake, when she

reached Rachel's room. She handed Jake her cellphone and
he listened to her obediently.
"Have someone cancel my limousine and my flight to

Trinidad. Call my brother, Nigel and tell him that I had
to cancel my flight and not to wait for me at the airport.
Tell him that I am alright, but, I had an unexpected
emergency, and that I will call him as soon as I am
finished helping a patient."
When Zenobia entered Rachel's room, Rachel was in too

much distress to acknowledge her presence. She felt
extremely hot and relentless pressure in her back was
increasing, each time she had another big contraction. She
clenched her teeth together, holding her breath, believing
she would lose her mind if the pain didn't stop. Zenobia,
walked into the room and watched Rachel struggling to
fight the pain. Her first words were...
"Breathe, Rachel, Breathe! Slow breaths! Concentrate on

your breathing! Breathe and let it out slowly."
Rachel didn't recognize the voice, but she immediately
1022
heeded the advice. Opening her eyes, she saw Zenobia, who
headed for the bathroom to wash and sterilize her hands.
Rachel's eyes widened in surprise and partly in fear.

Jake saw her reaction and reassured her of Zenobia's
intentions.
"It's alright...she's going to help you. Zenobia is a

nurse practitioner and one of the best."
Putting on gloves from the tray that came rolling into

the room, at top speed, with one of the security guards,
Zenobia observed Rachel to start timing her contractions.
"That's good, sweetheart. You're breathing better, now.

Keep it up. I'm going to time your contractions. Let me
know when you feel one coming on. I hate to do this to
you, but, I need to feel the position of the baby and see
how far your cervix has dilated. I'll try to be gentle. If
you start having a contraction, let me know. Try to keep
breathing like you're breathing, now, no matter what I
do."
Ricardo, the security guard, came rushing into the

room. Seeing Rachel and Zenobia, he knew exactly what to
do. He began prepping the tray and making a list of needed
supplies. He'd helped to deliver babies while working in
make-shift clinics in jungles and deserts; this, along
with his experience as a combat medic, taught him to be
ready, work fast, and improvise.
Zenobia, was a professional. She had delivered babies

before, but, this was Rachel and she was having Hal's
baby. She told herself to erase those thoughts from her
1023
mind and concentrate on the patient. She calmed her

nerves, wiped the sweat from her brow, and asked Ricardo
to get her a glass of water. At the mention of water,
Rachel started panting.
"C-can, can I, can I have some water, too?"
"No, sweetheart. I'm sorry, but, I'll have someone get

you some ice chips. You can have a little of those to cool
you down."
Rachel, felt as if she would die of thirst, but, she

understood why she couldn't drink water, now.
Ricardo came in with some clean white sheets and bed
pads, put them on the bed, then, went back to work.
Zenobia spread one sheet over Rachel's legs.
" I'm going to feel your stomach to feel the baby,

then, I'm going to have you bend your knees and spread
your legs, wide. Do you want to take your gown off? You
don't have to."
Rachel felt dirty from the rain, so, she nodded her
head, yes. Zenobia saw her start to struggle to get the
gown off.
"Let me help you, please. I''ll put this sheet over

you. Then, I want to put a sheet and pad under you so that
you don't worry about getting anything dirty on the bed.
Just roll to the side and Ricardo and I will do the rest."
Rachel obeyed. Zenobia's voice was comforting and kind.

Zenobia was gentle and helpful--a mother-like figure.
1024
Besides her being an extremely beautiful woman, she could

see why Hal would be attracted to her. She had no doubts
that Zenobia would be a good mother, as well as a good
wife. Another, contraction gripped her, removing her
thoughts from Hal and Zenobia. She could only think about
the pain. Throughout the contraction, Zenobia called out
to her...
"Breathe, Rachel! Don't stop that good breathing you

were doing! Breathe and let it out slowly...that's
it...good girl."
Zenobia looked at her watch so that she could time the

next contraction. Hal had been standing outside of the
door, not knowing if he was allowed to go in, or, if he
should go in with Zenobia and Rachel in there, together.
Guilt had hold of him and kept him immobile. He paced,
gripping and pulling his hair, while he listened to
Rachel, moan, groan, and cry out in pain. After the
contraction, Zenobia began feeling Rachel's stomach.
"Who is your doctor and what hospital are you

delivering at?"
"Dr. Maddock. He's with Doctor's East Hospital."
"When is your due date and do you have any health

problems?
"I'm due tomorrow, June fourteenth and no, I don't have

any health problems."
"Tomorrow?! The first child doesn't usually come on
1025
time. This is your first child, isn't it?"
Rachel tried not to be offended at Zenobia asking her

if this was her first child. She knew that it was a
question that any and all medical professionals would ask.
"Yes, this is my first," she quietly answered, between

a slow breath.
"So, you're having a vaginal delivery?"
"Yes."
Zenobia lifted the sheet on top of Rachel's legs.
"Okay, I need you to bend your knees up and spread your

legs as wide as you comfortably can. Here, let me help
you....that's it. Do you know if you're having a girl or
boy?"
"A boy. A-and...and you?"
"I'm having a girl."
Zenobia was about to begin, when she felt Rachel tense

up.
This is the part that Rachel had dreaded. It was more

than awkward, exposing her body to Hal's fiance and having
her to physically examine her. There was no way she could
be comfortable. Then, another contraction gripped her. She
1026
held onto Zenobia's arm as if holding on to life itself.

Zenobia loosened her hand and gripped it in between her
hands.
"Hold on, Rachel! Just, breathe, sweetheart! Ride it

out! You can do it!"
Zenobia looked at the time, then, looked at Ricardo.

The contractions had been very close together. She needed
to do the exam right away. Keeping Rachel's hand in hers,
she reached for a wet cloth and wiped her face. Then,
stroking her hair, she bent down and spoke softly.
"Rachel, the baby is good position, but, your

contractions are very close, I need to do a quick exam. We
may not have time to get you to the hospital. You've got
to help me. I need you to control your breathing, while I
check your cervix."
Rachel nodded, loosened her grip on Zenobia and placed

her hands upon her stomach.
Ricardo helped Zenobia put on a new pair of gloves and
Zenobia began the pelvic exam. Rachel didn't know why,
but, she cried out in agony and called out Hal's name.
"Hal! Hal!"
Hal rushed into the room and stood by the bed looking
helpless. He looked at Zenobia with tears in his eyes.
Zenobia put her head down, went back to work, and barked
out a command to Hal.
"Hold her hand and help her with her breathing!"
1027
Obediently, Hal, took Rachel's hand and began mimicking

her breathing.
"That's it Rachel, you're doing good...breathe, baby."
Zenobia's heart sank as she remembered him whispering

into her ear, calling her his baby. She held back a tear
and continued to work. Feeling the baby's head, she was
startled. Ricardo knew something was wrong.
"What's wrong, Zenobia?" He asked.
"We...we've got...the baby's head is crowning."
Ricardo sighed and left the room to prepare. Hal and

Rachel looked at Zenobia, very concerned.
"Rachel, you may have a couple of hours or you may not.

Do you want to try to get to the hospital? We'll call your
doctor and tell him to meet you there. However, moving may
speed up the birth. We could call an ambulance, just in
case. It looks like you'll be having a natural birth at
this point."
Rachel looked at Hal in terror, hoping he could help

her. Hal didn't know what to say or do. He opened his
mouth, but, nothing coherent came out.
"Uh...uh..."
1028
Rachel looked at Zenobia in despair.
"What do you think I should do, Zenobia?"
Zenobia was about to answer, when another contraction

gripped Rachel and she began straining and pushing.
"SHE'S PUSHING, HAL! HELP HER BREATHE!"
Hal was too frantic to control his own breathing, but,

he tried to calm himself and show Rachel how to breathe.
"Come on, Rache breathe! Slower, slower. That's it!

Whoo-whoo-whoo..."
Rachel looked at Zenobia with helpless, tearful eyes.
"Jake, get the wheelchair and tell Ricardo to prepare

Mr. Siegfried's room. Rachel, we're going to move you to
Mr. Siegfried's room and deliver the baby from there. It's
been redesigned for outpatient surgery, in case of an
emergency, and we definitely have an emergency."
**********************************************************
1029
Faith Without Works Is Dead
James 2:14-18(KJV)
14 What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man

say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith
save him?
15 If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute

of daily food,
16 And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace,

be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give
them not those things which are needful to the
body; what doth it profit?
17 Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead,

being alone.
18 Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have

works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I
will shew thee my faith by my works.
Zenobia went to the room she had shared with Hal to lay
down. She was filled with so many emotions, that she felt
drained from the stress. The delivery hadn't been
difficult at all, as deliveries go. She had experienced
many different types of delivery complications and a few
tragedies during her nursing career. Watching Rachel go
through natural childbirth with her first child, made her
realize that Rachel was tougher than she thought she was.
However, she also realized that she was, too. It took a
lot to do what she did, not just skill wise, but, heart
1030
wise.
She looked up at the sparkling chandelier hanging from

the ceiling, as it caught the sun's rays from the skylight
window, casting star-like images upon the ceiling. Tears
slowly flowed from her tired eyes. Then, a smile found
it's way upward from within a tired, but joyful heart.
Seeing Rachel's baby emerge into the world had been

wondrous. Although, she had seen births many times before,
it meant more to her because she, too, would soon be a
mother. She was overcome with emotions as she held the
tiny life within her hands, pulling him gently from the
womb into the light, then, watching him take his first
breath and experience the world for the first time. She
had smiled and laughed as if it were her own child being
born. In that moment, nothing else mattered, except life.
Something within her heart came alive. In that very real,
awakening moment, there was a love and purity that seemed
Divine, God given, Holy, and Heavenly blessed. She
realized that life should never be taken for granted and
the life she held inside of her was so very precious.
Seeing the joy on Hal and Rachel's face seemed natural

and she didn't resent them for it. It was as it should be.
As she placed the child in Rachel's arms, she was happy
for her and Hal. Part of her was confused by what she was
feeling and part of her wasn't. Her heart told her that
the part that was confused was the part that was still in
pain. The renewed feelings in her heart made her realize
that she was okay. She was going to survive all of the
pain. When the ambulance arrived and she saw Rachel and
Hal off to the hospital, with their son, she waved goodbye
with joy in her heart. It was still strange to her then,
but, she understood more, now.
1031
It had been easy to say that she had faith in God, when
little or nothing was required of her to prove it; no
personal attachments or responsibilities outside of her
job. Her job had become her life. What she did for others,
she was paid to do. But, God was looking at her heart and
how she extended her faith to others she didn't know, or
found difficult to love.
James 2:19-26(KJV)
19 Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest

well: the devils also believe, and tremble.
20 But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith

without works is dead?
21 Was not Abraham our father justified by works,

when he had offered Isaac his son upon the altar?
22 Seest thou how faith wrought with his works, and

by works was faith made perfect?
23 And the scripture was fulfilled which saith,

Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him
for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of
God.
24 Ye see then how that by works a man is

justified, and not by faith only.
25 Likewise also was not Rahab the harlot justified

by works, when she had received the messengers, and
had sent them out another way?
26 For as the body without the spirit is dead, so

faith without works is dead also.
**********************************************************
1032
Her phone began to vibrate and she realized that it had

gotten late and she hadn't phoned her brother, Nigel. He
was the oldest brother among the six and one year right
behind her. He and his wife, Hazel were professors at the
local university. Hazel was born on the island of Tobago
and she and Nigel met while in college together. They had
two teenage boys and a girl. Nigel had always been closest
to her out of her nine siblings. She looked at her phone
and sure enough, it was Nigel.
"Hello..."
"Zenobia, Zenobia! Where are you? I demand that you

come home this instant, or, you'll be grounded, young
lady!"
"Nigel Agumanu, you are not my father and I am not one

of your delinquent teenagers!
"Don't call my teenagers delinquents!"
"Then, why are you always complaining about them?"
"Because, I...I love them! But, tell me that you are

coming home, Zenobia. Please, Zenobia!
You have to come home! Everyone is expecting you! I
told everyone you were coming."
"What do you mean you told, everyone?! Nigel! I don't

want everyone knowing. Who is everyone?"
1033
"So you are coming?"
"Yes, but..."
"Then, I'll let everyone know. We're planning video

calls with everyone who can't come."
"Who is everyone, Nigel? Can't come to what?"
"Everyone like your best friend, Yolande and her

husband, our brothers and sisters and their families, and
other important people."
"Like, who?"
"Like, my best friends, Charles, Fabian, Lennox, their

wives, and..."
"And who, Nigel?"
"And Wendell..."
"NIGEL!"
"He asks about you every time I see him. He's been
calling since I told him you were coming home this
morning. I told him you were pregnant..."
"You did WHAT?!"
1034
"I told him you were pregnant. You are, aren't you?
Well, he wants to deliver your baby."
"Whale wants to deliver my baby?"
"No one calls him Whale anymore. We shouldn't have done

that. It was very cruel. We were ignorant little children.
He's not obese anymore. He lost weight when his parents
sent him to boarding school. I believe they were the cause
of his overeating. Now, he is taller than me and even you,
and he is built like an athlete. He's a doctor now...a
surgeon and he is still in love with you."
"In love with me? He doesn't even know me!"
"He's had a crush on you since we were children, but,

he was afraid of you."
"Afraid of me? Why would he be afraid of me?"
"Don't you remember? We were all afraid of you,

Zenobia. You beat us mercilessly! You beat my friends with
sticks and threw rocks at them. All the boys in school ran
from you, except, Wendell. Wendell kept coming back for
more. He would let you beat him silly, because, he loved
you. Now, he is a big, strong man, a highly respected
surgeon, and he still loves you. He wants to deliver your
baby, but, he is afraid to ask you out of respect. Let him
deliver your baby and then, marry him. I am your oldest
brother, the man in charge of our family and I demand that
you do this! He asked me for permission to court you and I
agreed if your first child together is named after me."
1035
"Nigel, I'm going to beat..."
"See, there you go! You are a violent woman, Zenobia!

No one will want you if they are afraid of you! Please,
Zenobia. Just go out on a date with him, one time, after
you have the baby. He's truly a nice, sweet, and stable
guy. He would make a great father. You've always taken
care of everybody else. Now, it's time to let someone take
care of you."
"Nigel, nobody is paying you or Wendell any attention.

I told you my stay is only temporary and I might take a
position in Swe..."
"I know, Zenobia, but, how will you know that you're
doing the right thing, if you don't give him a chance.
Please, big sister, do this for me and your other brothers
and sisters. We love you and we want to see you happy."
"I'll let you know when I reschedule my flight. Tell

Hazel and the kids I said hi. I'll talk to you later and I
don't want a party. Bye Nigel."
"But, Zenobia!"
"Bye, Nigel!"
Zenobia laid in bed thinking about Nigel and her other

siblings. They had had some good times and lots of fun in
between the hard times. The after effects of President
Graves' treachery and the war he helped to bring on were
felt worldwide. But, as she thought about their life in
1036
Trinidad and Tobago, things weren't as bad as she thought

they were. Most importantly, they all had survived, each
one, all the better for what they had been through.
As a child, Zenobia became caregiver to the household,

when her mother took ill. Their father and then, their
mother died when she and her siblings were very young.
Zenobia inherited the role and responsibility of both
parents, while still in her teens. Her youngest siblings
barely had any memory of their parents. Yet, if her mother
and father could see what had become of them all, they
would be very happy and grateful to God.
Keston became an accountant. He married and had two

children, but, he and Justine later divorced. Ayanna, tall
and lanky like Zenobia and just as lovely, became a model,
working in Italy. Valene, a teacher, married Andrei, a
pharmacist and they had four children. Bertrand was away
at college in France, working on his PhD in bio-
engineering. The twins, Kendall and Shandall were both
lawyers with their own law firm. Shandall's husband,
Evans, was a banker and they had one child. Russell, who
continued to draw on the walls, when he ran out of paper,
no matter how many times he was punished, turned out to be
an extremely talented and successful artist; and Cyd, the
youngest brother, became a contractor.
When he was a little boy, Cyd had made her a promise,

because, the house the ten of them lived in was much too
small for the size of their family. "Nobi," he said, as he
began calling her as a toddler, "I'm going to build you a
big, beautiful house one day!" Whenever they spoke, Cyd
would remind her of his promise, hoping his beloved Nobi
would come home to him, one day. They all wanted her to
come back home so that they could take care of her and
repay her for taking care of them.
1037
Zenobia, laughed. She didn't want anything from them.

She was more than happy with what they had done with their
lives. Many times, they had told her that she was mean,
her rules were too strict, and her punishment too harsh.
Sure, they had had problems, but, as a family, they always
leaned upon one another and helped to work things out.
When one got a job, they would begin helping the others.
She thought about that for a moment. Now, she was used to
solving her own problems. Realizing what she had revealed
about herself, she felt convicted. All of these years,
away from her family, and she had shut them out of her
life. Now, they still wanted her to come home. She smiled,
thinking about how much her baby would be loved by her
family, taken care of, provided for, and perhaps, spoiled
rotten. She loved her homeland and it would be a wonderful
environment for her child to grow up in.
Then, she thought about Hal. Would he try to have joint

custody or demand that he have his daughter half of the
time? She didn't know how she felt about her child being
in the care of someone else and a part of the Graves
Family, let alone, having to be away from her for so long.
As much as he worked, Hal wouldn't have much time to spend
with their daughter. However, if she worked as a nurse,
her time would be limited, also. Zenobia, thought about
this, too, for a moment. She really didn't want to give up
nursing, but, she wanted to be a good mother, too. She had
worked and raised her siblings and they had turned out
fine. God had been more than good, merciful and kind to
them all. She just needed to have more faith in Him. He
had always provided and made a way out of no way. He had
seen her struggles and heartache for her siblings and
heard her voice praying as a child, not knowing what to do
and how to provide for her siblings.
She had tried to hang onto her faith; the faith which
1038
her mother had instilled within her, and pass it on to her

siblings. Thankful for the foundation she was given and
the faith she continued to hold onto, even as she faltered
and failed God, now, she hadn't lost all hope. No, she had
just been in too much pain and didn't know how to work
through it. Pain had taken control of her and pride had
blinded her, making her lose her way.
Today...today, after delivering Rachel and Hal's baby,

her heart had changed. After, talking to Nigel,she had
changed even more. She knew without a doubt, that things
would get better. God was still there for her, as He had
always been throughout her life, making a way out of no
way. Certainly, if she had faith, He would take care of
her and her baby, just as He had taken care of her and her
siblings.
-Get married? She no longer knew if she was ready for

that. Of course she was flattered that Wendell had
inquired about her and wanted to deliver her baby. She had
only pretended to be irritated to irritate Nigel. She
laughed. That's what siblings do. This child should have
siblings, she thought, smiling to herself.
Suddenly, Zenobia slapped her forehead. It struck her

that the events of the day were no accident. Her firing
Carolyn and Rachel coming there and going into labor was
no accident. God intended for her to deliver Rachel's
baby. Hal coming home before she left was no accident, et
cetera, and so on, and so forth. And no, it wasn't her
toughness which had gotten her through the day, at all.
She could do nothing without God. Once again, God was
making a way out of no way, while He taught them all a
lesson in faith, humility, mercy, kindness, and
unconditional love.
1039
A feeling of peace and serenity filled her, as she felt

humbled and blessed. Maybe she was ready for Wendell and
he would no longer have to be afraid of her. She smiled,
and closed her eyes, praying and thanking God for being
with them and guiding them through the day.
"Please forgive me, dear, Lord. Oh, how I have

grieved Your Holy Spirit. Forgive me for my
disobedience and blindness. I have not treated others
as I have wanted to be treated. I have shown lack of
faith in You. Increase Thy poor servant's faith," she
whispered. "Increase all of our faith, Lord, Hal,
Rachel and the entire household. Bless their child as
you have always blessed me, Father.
Have Thine own way, and use me. I have been

stubborn, prideful, foolish, and selfish, following my
own mind and falling into darkness. My strength had
left me and my faith had waned. I have been lost
because, I have put my faith and trust in man and the
world, instead of putting all of my faith and trust in
Thee. I have run ahead of You, Lord, seeking my own
desires. I repent of my sins, Father. Please, forgive
me. Help me to abide in Your Holy Spirit so that Your
Will, will be done, Father, not mine! I know that I
can do nothing without Your Hand. Keep me humble and
seeking Thy face.
'Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a

steadfast spirit within me'. Set my eyes back upon the
path of holiness and righteousness, following Christ
Jesus. Help me not to stray from Thee. Teach me to be
obedient and seek Your Kingdom first; loving You with
all my heart and soul. Help me to listen for Your
voice and walk in Your Light.
1040
Father, I have claimed to have faith, but, I have

not shown it through works. I produced ill-fruit,
because my soul followed after ungodliness. My faith
like my heart has been dead. Today, You helped me to
show my faith through works. What I did was because of
Your Goodness and Mercy! How Great Thou Art! You have
shown me how You have created me to be. Revive me!
You have given me this child inside of me and shown
me how precious and miraculous life is. I have taken
my life and the lives of others for granted. Forgive
me, Lord.
Father, I want to be a good mother to my child and

be there for her for as long as I can. Oh, Father,
please bless my child and bring her close to You. I
know that she also has to go through trials and
tribulations, but, touch her heart, Lord, as you have
touched mine. Help me to guide her in Your Ways. Help
me, Lord to live life abundantly, holy and
righteously, that I may be an example of Christ to
her, teaching her to follow The Truth, The Life and
the Way, claiming abundant and everlasting life.
Thank you, Father. You have been working on my

behalf all along, trying to open my eyes, while I
resisted and fought against You. Yes, You have shown
me Grace and Mercy in hope that I would show Your
Grace and Mercy toward others. Great is Thy
Faithfulness, O, Lord, unto me. You never give up on
me, even when I have turned my back on You. Teach me
patience, that I may endure and produce good fruit.
Thank you, Father. I praise Your Holy name and asks
these things, in the name of Your Precious Son. Amen"
Zenobia remembered all of the old hymns her mother used

to sing, and as her prayers brought them back into her
1041
heart, she began to hum Jesus Keep Me Near The Cross.
No longer in pain or afraid of what the future might

hold, Zenobia soon fell asleep, too tired to go on
thinking.
James 2:1-13(KJV)
1 My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus

Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect of persons.
2 For if there come unto your assembly a man with a

gold ring, in goodly apparel, and there come in
also a poor man in vile raiment;
3 And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay

clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good
place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or
sit here under my footstool:
4 Are ye not then partial in yourselves, and are

become judges of evil thoughts?
5 Hearken, my beloved brethren, Hath not God chosen

the poor of this world rich in faith, and heirs of
the kingdom which he hath promised to them that
love him?
6 But ye have despised the poor. Do not rich men

oppress you, and draw you before the judgment
seats?
7 Do not they blaspheme that worthy name by the

which ye are called?
8 If ye fulfil the royal law according to the

scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as
thyself, ye do well:
1042
9 But if ye have respect to persons, ye commit sin,

and are convinced of the law as transgressors.
10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet

offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
11 For he that said, Do not commit adultery, said

also, Do not kill. Now if thou commit no adultery,
yet if thou kill, thou art become a transgressor of
the law.
12 So speak ye, and so do, as they that shall be

judged by the law of liberty.
13 For he shall have judgment without mercy, that

hath shewed no mercy; and mercy rejoiceth against
judgment.
1043
Episode 50
AUNTIE YONNY:
TRANSITIONS AND TRANSPARENCY
1044

Episode 50
AUNTIE YONNY:
TRANSITIONS AND TRANSPARENCY
Hal woke up in the hospital bed, across from Rachel's

bed, where he had slept all night. He knew that he had to
check on Zenobia and his father, call the office and take
care of business, then, touch base with Steve in
California. Everything else, would have to be put on hold
for a couple of days, while he got Rachel and their son
situated.
He looked over at Rachel who was sleeping peacefully.

What a relief, he thought, after all she had been through,
she deserved as much sleep as she could get. He had never
experienced anything like the birth of his son. In all of
his years of reporting, he had been touched by many human
interest stories and kind gestures people had made to help
others, but, watching his son come into the world, gave
the 'why' to all the reasons we help one another. Life is
precious and miraculous. Each life is special and unique.
As he watched the baby emerge, his heart pounded within

his chest. Covered with blood and other gook, as he called
it, for lack of proper words, the baby looked gruesome,
wrinkled, and scrawny. But, he guessed all babies looked
like that, when they came out. He wasn't prepared for what
came after--the afterbirth, or placenta. It was an
experience that he would never forget and changed his
whole perspective of sex, reproduction, and the miracle
1045
and sanctity of life.
Trying not to wake Rachel, he put on his shirt and

pants and slipped on his shoes. He headed down the
hallway, hoping to find a secluded room or corridor where
he could make some private calls. Finding a small
conference room that was open, he went in and began making
his calls.
"Morning, Dad. Did I wake you?"
"Nooo, Son. You know that I'm up early, especially

today. I was just about to call you. How are Rachel and my
grandson doing?"
"Fine, Dad. Rachel is sleeping like a baby."
"Well, she needs to, after what she went through."
"Yeah, it was tough on both of us."
David laughed with his son, remembering how nervous he

had been watching Hal come into the world and the agony of
watching his wife suffer.
"I haven't seen the baby, yet, this morning, Dad.

They're probably letting Rachel get her rest before they
bring him in. But, last night, he was putting up a fuss.
--Turned out he was hungry."
"Well, he's definitely my grandson if he likes to eat.

I'll be up to see him this afternoon. The doctor is coming
1046
to give me a check up this morning."
"Are you all right, Dad?"
"Yes, but, I guess Zenobia asked him to examine me

before she leaves."
Hal was ashamed of himself for not asking about

Zenobia, sooner.
"How is Zenobia doing, Dad? Is...is she...?
"She's okay, Hal. I mean, as much as can be expected.

The baby is fine. You know she's a strong woman, Hal. But,
she really surprised us yesterday."
"Whew, you're telling me! It was one surprise after

another. First she wants to shoot everybody, then, she's
bossing everybody around, trying to help Rachel."
"Well, that's the God in her, Son. She's been in a lot

of pain and I guess she just couldn't take any more. But,
she didn't completely give in to it. In the end, she
listened to God."
"Yeah, but, it was pretty scary for the rest of us,

waiting for that moment. I don't want her to leave until
we talk, Dad."
"Then, tell her, Son. Call her, now."
1047
"Okay, Dad. I've got some other calls to make, too."
"I've got to go. My nurse is here to give me my

medication and take my vital signs. Bye, love you, and
call Zenobia, now."
"I will, Dad. Bye, love you, too."
Hal put the phone down on the table beside his chair
and stared at it. He knew he had to talk to Zenobia, but,
he was afraid of what he might hear. Yet, he knew he had
to make the call. After a minute or two of going back and
forth with that thought, fighting hesitation, he grabbed
the phone and pressed her photo.
"Good morning, Zenobia. How are you and the baby

doing?"
"We're fine, Hal. I got a lot of rest, yesterday.

Delivering a baby is the last thing I expected to do."
They laughed together for a moment, then, Zenobia beat

him to the topic of discussion.
"I haven't rescheduled my flight, yet, but, I want to

talk to you, before I leave. Perhaps, we can work out some
type of arrangement concerning our daughter. I'd like to
say goodbye to Rachel and see your son, one more time,
before I leave, too. Will you have some time today? I'm
hoping to get a flight out, tomorrow."
Hal couldn't help thinking that Zenobia sounded like

her old self. The tone of her voice was bright and
1048
cheery . There was no hint of malice and anger, as it had

been before. His father was right. Zenobia had been in too
much pain and he had helped to cause it.
"Of course I'll have time, Zenobia. Even if I didn't,

I'd make time for you. Zenobia...I...I'm sor..."
"Let's just leave it at that, Hal. We both made a

mistake. Now, we both have to make better choices and work
together to raise our child, with God as our guide."
Yes, Hal thought, Zenobia is her old self, again. He

was glad she had found her way back. His father had said
that it was the God in her. It made him think about the
God in him. Was God in him? He hadn't given it any thought
for a long time.
(laughing) "You're right, Zenobia, as usual. Hey, Dad

is coming to the hospital this afternoon. Can you come
with him? I...I mean...if you want to, that is."
"Sure, Hal. I'll come with your father."
"Great! Then, we'll see you this afternoon. Th-Thank

you, Zenobia, for everything, not just for delivering the
baby. Thank you for being in my life, being there when I
needed you, and..."
"No need to thank me, Hal, but, you are welcome. You
helped me, too, and my life is all the better for having
met you. I have a lot to look forward to, being a mother,
and raising our daughter. For the first time in my life,
there are so many things I want to do and experience, that
1049
I've denied myself for so long. Anyway, we can talk later.

I'll see you this afternoon. Bye, Hal."
"Bye, Zenobia."
Hal was used to ending their conversation with, "I love

you," but, he thought that was inappropriate, now.
However, he did love Zenobia as a person. She was
beautiful inside and outside. What had happened between
them was a result of...He stopped and thought. What, was
it a result of? Stupidity? Selfishness? Could he pinpoint
just one thing to place the blame? It was everything. They
were living their lives for themselves and for the moment,
each hoping the other was the cure for what ailed them
inside.
Zenobia had found peace for her pain, because, she had
returned to God. Hal put his head down and went through
his ritual of rubbing his head and pulling his hair with
his fingers. He had a lot of things eating at him inside.
He thought about how his father described Zenobia as a
strong woman. She found her strength in God. In that
moment, he could only see himself as weak. He was a weak
man, who was now the father of two children. Hal shook his
head. He wanted to find strength, too. But, how?
Shaking those thoughts out of his mind for now, he

called Darla. He told her that his son was born yesterday
and that he would be at the hospital with Rachel. He asked
her to cancel his meetings; to come by later for him to
sign papers and discuss matters; to contact attorneys to
take care of legal matters that needed immediate
attention, such as, a marriage annulment and changing he
and his father's last name. He wanted to be able to sign
his son's birth certificate as Harold Siegfried-Graves.
1050
Steve called him and told him that the arsonist was not
an employee, and so far they hadn't been able to connect
him with anyone at the company, which meant that he was
probably hired by someone. Jake had called him and told
him about the shooting. He said that they had located the
other man who had been hired to tamper with Rachel's car
and were interrogating him, before they handed him over to
the police.
After telling Steve to keep him posted on the two

cases, Hal hung up the phone, wondering if he'd ever have
peace, true peace in his life. He went back to Rachel's
room and found her up and holding their son, who was
sleeping peacefully. Lovingly, he looked at them both in
awe and cherished the moment. He didn't feel deserving of
such a blessing. In his heart, he knew that he wanted to
be deserving of this gift before him. He wanted to be the
man that they needed him to be. He wanted them to be safe
and happy. Yet, there was no peace around him or within
him to give them what they needed. Outside forces were
always working against him, pulling at him to be something
and someone else, and taking him away from the life that
he wanted and those he loved. He knew that something had
to change.
"I don't want to make the same mistakes over and over
again," he thought. "I've got to change in order for
things around me to change."
**********************************************************
Darla was at work, early as usual. She checked the days

agenda and readied the paperwork for meetings, contracts,
and correspondence. She was just about to send data to the
1051
meeting attendees, when her phone rang. She hated to be

interrupted when she was in her planning mode. It was her
boss, Hal Siegfried.
She congratulated him on the birth of his son and

listened carefully, taking down instructions. After the
call ended, she looked around her at all the work she had
done that would not be needed until later. Sighing, she
looked at the list of tasks Hal had given her and picked
out the most urgent one to do first, which was notifying
everyone that the meetings were canceled. She was just
about ready to begin, when the phone rang again. Rolling
her eyes, she stopped and answered the phone
professionally and politely.
"Good morning, the office of Hal Siegfried. This is

Darla speaking. How may I help you?"
"This is Mr. Christopher Holland, attorney for Mr.

Derek Graves. Is Mr. Siegfried in?
"No, I'm sorry, sir. May I take a message, please?"
"Yes, please have Mr. Siegfried call me as soon as

possible. Mr. Graves would like to set up a meeting with
him. He can reach me at this same number."
Instead of placing the message in her secretarial

android pad to be sent immediately, Darla looked at the
phone display, grabbed a piece of scrap paper and
hurriedly jotted down the number next to Mr. Christopher
Holland's name.
1052
"Thank you for calling Mr. Holland. I will see that

your message gets Mr. Siegfried's immediate attention."
"Thank you, Darla. Good bye."
"Have a good day, sir. Good bye."
Still feeling the irritation from the interrupting

calls, along with the new irritation that she was to
cancel the meetings, after all of the work she had done,
Darla grabbed a stack of papers and slammed them down on
top of her desk, and on top of the note.
She started to shake and knew she was having another

one of her episodes when she fell apart. She looked at the
last task Hal had given her that was to arrange for he and
his father's last name to be changed. "I want to sign my
son's birth certificate as Hal Siegfried-Graves," he had
said. Darla put her head down on her desk and began
sobbing, thinking about her childhood and her father who
never was a real father to her. When she was all grown up,
he never tried to reconcile anything. He just wanted to
make himself feel better and try to convince himself that
he had done something to help his children, by having them
around him.
She and her brother had different feelings concerning

their father. They both knew that he treated his other
child and his step children better than them. Her brother
was extremely bitter and resentful. When her father was
sick and dying, her brother tried to make her see that
their father only wanted them around because he was
concerned about his own pain and sorrow. Perhaps, her
brother had been most affected by her father's
selfishness. He had tried to reach out to him as a
1053
teenager, only to be used and abused.
She knew her brother was right, when she went to visit
her father on his death bed. He used her to cry about his
wasted life and the mistakes he made. Yet, there was no
outward show of remorse or acknowledgment of the pain he
had caused others. She was fifty years old and he had had
plenty of time to make things right, to feel her pain, and
to show some sign of genuine concern for her happiness.
No, he had left that all to fate and her mother. He knew
nothing of giving true, unconditional love. Darla began to
wonder, "Am I like him? Am I able to be unselfish. truly
love others, and feel their pain? Do I know what it means
to be happy and to bring joy and happiness into the lives
of others? Have I wasted my life?
After his funeral, Darla realized that her father had

never even signed her birth certificate. When her mother
was pregnant with her, he had denied that she was his
child and moved on to have a child by another woman. She
didn't particularly care for Hal having two women pregnant
at the same time, it reminded her of her father. However,
Hal was her boss and she had learned to mind her own
business.
Darla sat there crying, feeling the pain she had

bottled up inside of her for so long; the pain of
rejection she had had throughout her life; the pain from
wanting to be loved. Lost within her sorrow, she forgot
that other employees were arriving.
Karen had made it to work on time that day and decided

to stop by Darla's office to see if there were any
assignments that she could help her with. As she
approached Darla's office, she heard the muffled sounds
coming from within. She was about to knock, when she
1054
realized that they were the sounds of tears and pain.

Karen froze, trying to decide what to do. She knew how
proud Darla was and didn't want to embarrass her. She
decided to go back to her office and call Darla later.
**********************************************************
As the new and temporary nurse was taking David's blood

pressure, Zenobia walked into his room.
"Good morning, Mr. Siegfried. How are you? I see your

new nurse is here, bright and early. Thank you, for
coming. I'm Zenobia. I used to work with Dr. Acharya and I
used to be Mr. Siegfried's nurse."
"Nice to meet you, I'm Pavithra. I see you are

expecting. When is the baby due? Do you know what you're
having?"
Pavithra's Indian accent was as thick as Dr. Acharya's,

but, Zenobia was used to hearing Dr. Acharya speak, so,
her hearing had learned to filter through the accent.
"I'm due next month. I'm having a girl."
"Oh, she will surely be pretty like you."
Zenobia blushed.
"Thank you, Pavithra."
1055
Seeing Zenobia in the room with him and his new nurse,
David was filled with remorse, believing it was his fault
that Carolyn was fired. He hung his head down to avoid
looking at Zenobia eye to eye.
"What's wrong, Mr. Siegfried? You haven't said a word;

not even good morning to your granddaughter."
"Oh, you are Mr. Siegfried's granddaughter?"
Zenobia, laughed.
"No, Pavithra. The baby is Mr. Siegfried's

granddaughter."
"Ohhh...I see. You are part of the family, now."
David started to tell Zenobia that he was being quiet

while Pavithra took his blood pressure, but, he knew that
was a lie. It wouldn't have stopped him at any other time.
"I'm sorry, Zenobia. I didn't mean to get Carolyn in

trouble."
"Ohhh, so that's it. It's not your fault, Mr.

Siegfried, Carolyn's arrogance got her fired. She knew
that a nurse always does what is best for the patient,
not, what they believe they are good enough to handle. No,
you should not have put her into that position by
pressuring her, but, as a nurse, she should have been able
1056
to handle the pressure, or, referred you to your doctor

for further assessment and treatment."
"Yeah, but, I shouldn't have put her or you in a

position that pressured you to make decisions you didn't
want to make or shouldn't have had to make. I'm sorry."
"Your apology is accepted."
Pavithra made sure her data was recorded, then, left

the room. As she shut the door, David could restrain
himself no longer and poured out his feelings to Zenobia.
"Are you leaving, today, Zenobia? Please don't leave!

Am I going to be able to see my granddaughter? Please,
Zenobia..."
"Mr. Siegfried, I'm not leaving today, but, I need to

go and be with my family, now. You and I will go and see
your family this afternoon, at the hospital."
David smiled at Zenobia. He understood and admired the

woman that she was. Her going to the hospital with him
meant that she always intended to be part of the family.
"I understand your needing to be with your family,

Zenobia. Is there anything that I can do to help you while
you're there or before you go?"
"Mmm...nothing that I can think of. Oh! There are a

couple of things that come to mind that you can do to help
me, Mr. Siegfried."
1057
"Anything, Zenobia."
"I'd like you to finish getting the nursery ready for

the baby...not my baby...Rachel's baby. Remove the things
for a girl and make it into a boy's nursery. Oh, but, keep
the stuffed nurse doll, please, as a love gift to my
daughter's brother."
David smiled and nodded.
"I'll get to work on it right away. It will be done by

the time they get home from the hospital. Anything else?"
"Yes...be kind to your new nurse and don't try to make

her do anything she is not supposed to do!"
David hung his head down, like a little boy being

scolded. Zenobia bent down and gave him a big kiss on the
cheek.
"Thank you Mr. Siegfried; for everything; and for being

a father and a friend to me."
"Zenobia...I know this is a lot to ask, considering all

that's happened, but...but.."
"Go ahead, ask me."
"Do you think you can call me, Dad, from now on?"
1058
"Of course, Grandpa Siegfried! You're a grandfather,

now! Soon, you'll be my daughter's grandfather. I am
honored that you would have me call you, Dad. You are a
good man with a good heart. And speaking of your heart.
While I'm away, no more, cheating on your diet, along with
talking your nurse into giving you medication that isn't
good for you. I want you to live to see your granddaughter
and to come and visit her, regularly. Okay?"
"Okay, Zenobia."
"I will be calling to check on you...Dad, and I will

check with your nurse and Dr. Acharya. I know your little
cheating tricks and I will pass on the information to your
new nurse."
"Aww, Zenobia, you don't have to do that."
"Yes, I do. I love you. Come here and give me and your
granddaughter a hug."
David smiled and obeyed, happy to do so.
**********************************************************
David began to freshen up and put on a clean shirt to

go to the hospital to see his grandson. Missing his usual
routine of reading the newspaper and watching the morning
news, he decided to tackle the two at the same time. He
opened his newspaper and turned on the television to catch
up on the latest news. The headline was as he expected,
yet, still shocking, as it had Wall Street in a tizzy and
scurrying about. David hurried to call Hal.
1059
Hal had just unsuccessfully tried to hold and feed his

son, much to Rachel's amusement. He just couldn't get
comfortable holding the baby and the baby knew it.
Somehow, he squirmed enough to loosen his blanket and
started flailing his arms about, making it difficult for
Hal to perform his parental duties. He gave up and gave
the baby back to Rachel.
He had just turned the television on and seen the

headlines, when his phone began to ring. The news anchor
was saying that stocks had plunged and Derek Graves and
his associates had been hit hard. Some were blaming the
fall on leaks of a take over and financial corruption.
Several chief executive officers of his companies were
being sought for questioning, after it had been discovered
that pension funds were gone. His brokers were being
questioned for illegal trading, the FBI was looking into
his and his associate's offshore bank accounts and illegal
campaign funding.
After hearing the news, one of his CEO's committed

suicide, by shooting himself in the head. One of his
business associates and supporters, who had been linked to
stealing and hacking information from competitors, had
been detained at the airport, trying to leave the country
with all of his money. Authorities were making it hard for
others to try and do the same. Many of their assets were
frozen because they were tied to racketeering. Their
businesses were being raided and evidence seized.
Apparently, they had been under surveillance for quite
some time. For years, Derek and his associates had gained
an advantage over other investors by stealing inside
information from companies and manipulating the market.
Now, they wanted Derek Graves in the White House to
further their financial gains, by changing regulations,
laws, and policies.
1060
Derek Graves and Graves family members were unable to

be reached to answer questions, leaving everyone wondering
what it meant for Derek Graves' campaign, if he and his
main supporters were bankrupt or having financial
difficulty, and many under suspicion, or, linked to white
collar crimes. His employees were being interviewed and
footage was shown of some of them crying and wondering
what was going to happen to them.
Seeing that it was his father calling, Hal answered the

phone, without saying anything.
"Hal? Hal, you there?"
Hal mumbled something incoherent and continued watching

the news.
"Hal?! Did you see what's on the news?! Hal?!"
Breaking his trance, Hal finally answered.
"I'm watching, now, Dad. This is major. Hold on, I'm

listening to the update."
Hal wondered how Tanya managed to do it. How did she

get all of those people to work together to bring down
Derek and his associates? What had she bargained with?
What did she and her husband do for these business
associates that was so valuable? And at what costs?
"Dad, you still there?"
1061
"Yeah, I'm listening, too."
"Auntie Tanya is a force not to be reckoned with, even

from the grave. There's no imagining her limitations and
what she might do. Death has removed her restraints."
**********************************************************
Part of the puzzle pieces were revealed a year later

when his attorneys presented him with documents showing
that Tanya Yanovich had agreed, upon that day, to sign
over several large holdings in Russia, Cuba, Sudan, Iran,
Syria, Myanmar, former North Korea, and a lucrative mine
in Venezuela, to a shell company he had never heard of.
When Hal, requested information on the holdings, he

found that they were old companies which had been bringing
in money, but, the money was being filtered elsewhere.
Money laundering was the first thing to come to Hal's
mind. The old family trade Tanya's father, President
Graves, had taught her and a trade that Ilya Yanovich,
being from a Russian oligarch family, also, probably knew
very well.
Clearly, Tanya and her husband had been buying,

building, and running companies for other corporations in
countries where they were still under sanctions from the
American government. Ilya Yanovich had Russian citizenry,
which was a very convenient asset for them. Together, they
had helped to make and build fortunes for their American
business associates.
After reading the documents, carefully, Hal quickly
1062
signed them, relieved to be rid of such a burden. He

thought about what had happened to Derek and his
associates and thanked God for protecting him from wrong
doings which he definitely had no knowledge of.
Remembering what he had said a year ago about Auntie

Tanya, he made a note to familiarize himself with all of
his companies and make time to look into their financial
dealings more closely, with someone with a trained eye for
discrepancies. Tanya's plotting and scheming were still
having an effect on his life. There was too much at stake,
now. He had too much to lose. His words from a year ago
echoed within his mind...
"Auntie Tanya is a force not to be reckoned with, even

from the grave. There's no imagining her limitations and
what she might do. Death has removed her restraints."
Tanya had had plenty of time to prepare for death. Hal

wondered how many other bottomless pits, traps, and
guillotines were out there waiting to snare or behead her
unsuspecting enemies, at her command and appointed time.
It was something that he wished he didn't have to think
about.
**********************************************************
1063
AUNTIE YONNY SUMMARY
1064

AUNTIE YONNY SUMMARY
If you have been reading this book, then, you know that
life is full of the unexpected. The adversary roams to and
fro looking for opportunities to spread darkness and use
us and others for his purposes. Praise be to God, who has
given us His Living Word, Yeshua, Emmanuel, Christ Jesus,
and through the written and living Word of God, we have
been equipped with a dossier against the adversary which
proves His crimes, indicts him, and condemns him for
eternity. He is a defeated foe. Now, in our abundant
lives, we have leverage, through the sacrifice and example
of Christ Jesus, to use against him any time he stands in
our way.
Thanks to the unconditional love of our Father, we have

an unyielding force within us to defeat darkness and to
overcome that which comes against us and seeks to destroy
us. We are more than conquerors. We can conquer the trials
and temptations of this world, but, not as individuals.
Alone, we can do nothing, but, as One with The Father,
Son, and Holy Ghost, united through Christ, putting God
first in our lives, we, as Children of God, as the Body of
Christ, as citizens of The Kingdom, as neighbors,
communities, cities, states, nations, and global citizens,
can work together to make the world a better place.
Many people wake up everyday feeling as if their life

doesn't matter. Their belief may be based on their own
insecurities or because of outside forces and influences
upon their lives. Each of us has a unique purpose and
reason for being alive. Your very life is a given weapon
1065
against the enemy because it is full of potential and

endless possibilities for the good of the Kingdom. It is
reason to want to be alive and stay alive and live life to
its fullest pleasing God.
To please God, you must realize your worth to Him. If

you are unemployed; retired; disabled; a child; teenager;
or senior citizen; an oppressed minority; imprisoned; in
conflict or war; living under adverse circumstances, or an
undesired situation, wake up each morning telling
yourself, that your life has purpose designed by God.
Treasure your life and let no one treat it as if it
doesn't matter. Your life is priceless.
Knowing how valuable you are to God explains the reason

the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy. The enemy sees
us as a grove of trees. He tries to steal our fruit,
infect us with the deadly disease of sin, and destroy our
roots, so that we must be cut down and thrown into the
fire. Think about this: because he is in total darkness,
separated from God, Satan believes that in God's eyes he
has become so hated by Him that he really doesn't matter,
so he mimics God and does the same to us. Still, if he
didn't matter, then, why does God use him to His advantage
although He has cast him from his presence into eternal
darkness? Satan has it all wrong, that is why he is called
the sower of confusion. It is typical of the enemy to
believe that the hatred which lies within them also lies
within those they hate. However, God is not filled with
such hatred and if we be of God, then, neither are we. God
just tells us that darkness has no place with Light, which
means that, evil has no place with good, and hatred has no
place with love.
Those who question the punishment of being condemned to

darkness have no idea what a tormenting and agonizing
1066
condition it is. Their ignorance is just the beginning of

hell, for they cannot see that their reasoning is flawed,
they have lived their life in vain, and their rejection of
God has denied them the priceless gift of abundant and
eternal life.
The tactics of the enemy are designed to make others
believe that your life doesn't matter. This tactic is the
foundation of the campaign and policy of our current
president and administration. In other words, its the
oldest trick in the The Book--The Bible. It's the lie that
started a rebellion and got Satan kicked out of Heaven.
In the heat of arguments, conflicts, violence and

crime,tragedy and dilemma, that is what the enemy is
telling us and using others to tell us, especially if we
are a minority, person of color, or a different belief.
Now, politicians use it against the opposing party and
their voters. We hear it coming from our government, in
our legal system, on our jobs, even in our places of
worship, and within anyone or any circumstance covered in
darkness seeking to pull us from the arms of God's Grace
and Mercy. How are we to oppose it if we try to deal with
it ourselves, apart from our faith? We can do nothing
without God and believing in His Word to lead us to
conquer the problems of the world.
Never forget that God's Word is ALIVE as is each word

that proceeds from God's mouth. God spoke this world into
existence. His Word's have power and authority. They are
living entities that have affect and effect. In your
abundant life, speak Truth, speak Life, thereby,
continuing to speak fruitfully to maintain fruitfulness.
Abundant life is not the end. It is the beginning of what
is to come, for it continues to produce and be fruitful,
whereby, comes its name. Hence, it is available to you,
right now. Hallelujah!
1067
Yes, we've made mistakes in our past life and in our

new life we are not exempt from error. However, through
our repentance, through our recovery, we reap the harvest
of that which has been planted within to sustain us; for
the Living Word of God cannot die. God is with us
throughout every mistake, pain and sorrow, every
heartbreak, helping us to conquer fear, driving us to go
on, awakening us to temptation and holding us up
throughout every trial. As we meet every trial and
temptation we must never forget that they are not without
purpose and it is up to us to choose to make them
fruitful. Throughout the story of Auntie Yonny, I have
tried to give you examples of this fact.
We must accept our past and choose to make it fruitful

in order to move on and endure to the end of this life and
to be ready for the next transformation. Old scars from
wounds may never fade away, but, they are there to remind
us that God has created us to endure and even more, He
heals us because He loves us. He enables us to build upon
our past, even the tragedies within it.
Yes, I've made Auntie Yonny relevant to the current

events of today's world and the political atmosphere we
are living in at this time, not only to peak your
interests and keep you engaged, but, hopefully to help you
to understand why these circumstances exist and how we can
overcome them. I could have written the story in many ways
with any number of outcomes, choosing from numerous
subject matters, for such is life. However, as some of us
are striving to live our abundant lives, others are
entertaining the idea of abundant and eternal life. They
may have had no idea of what it meant to live abundantly.
They may have no idea of how to even go about starting to
achieve it.
1068
Truth, faith, reality, acceptance, endurance, may have

very different meanings to them because their life
experience is different from yours or mine. Yet, if, like
a visual artist, I can paint a picture of someone's life
with words, then, perhaps, they can understand how to
begin to surrender their life to God as Hal and Auntie
Yonny did. In doing so, perhaps, they will change the life
of someone else for the better, as Tanya, Miriam, Arturo,
Steve, Jake, Rachel, Zenobia and the lives of so many
others changed Hal. Perhaps, they in turn will go on to
help change a life which will find peace through their
union with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
I am often politely criticized for mixing politics with

faith as I prefer to call it, instead of politics with
religion; for to me politics and religion mirror one
another and are often one in the same. Politics and
religion are a practice of the faithless who trust man's
laws and rituals over God's Will and Way. Politics and
religion arose out of the rejection of faith in God, as
when Satan led the revolt in Heaven. You cannot separate
politics from religion because it is part of the ongoing
battle of man in his failure to chose faith in God.
Both politics and religion engage in the practice of

living by temporary agreement and false peace and are in
opposition to living by loving your neighbor as yourself,
loving God first, and doing unto others as you would have
them do unto you. I am often politely criticized for my
belief in One Way to the Kingdom of God, which has made me
ponder the word believe. In God's eyes, the word believe
or belief is finite. If you believe in Him, then, you will
have no other gods or even believe that you must bow down
to other gods. You do not practice belief in God, it must
become a part of you in everything you do and say. You
must LIVE IT! Those who do not live it simply practice
1069
religion, which is a political agreement with God based on

their terms.
So in this seemingly complicated world in which we find

a plethora of religions, comprised of various
denominations, branches and sects, we are drenched by a
deluge of values, cultures, ideologies, ethics and
policies. How do we approach respecting other's beliefs
without being forced to tolerate or cow-tow (bow down) to
them? Do we ban people from entering the country who don't
believe as we do? Do we fear being overwhelmed by their
numbers as the Egyptians became fearful of the Jews, so
much that they chose to enslave them? Did the Egyptians
have reason to fear for their way of life? Can two or more
different beliefs live peacefully together if they do not
demand that others adopt their beliefs? This is the
challenge throughout the world today and one which should
encourage us to stand in God's love for one another.
As I look to the past and the present, God gives me

foresight of the future. He uses me to set the pace of
resistance and break the backs of His enemies. His Words
flow through me to reach and harden their hearts and
confound their minds. In their minds they either believe
there is no God or that they can have their way against
His Will.
It all began with a tree in a peaceful garden. The

couple that chose to eat from the forbidden tree lost
their ability to be like God because they chose to believe
a lie that they weren't. They saw with their eyes instead
of their hearts (spirits). They lost their abundant and
eternal life. Then, it took the sacrifice of the chosen
Spotless Lamb to open the door to salvation and
restoration to their descendants to open their eyes and
once again have a relationship with their Heavenly Father.
1070
Yes, we can live with others who are not like us if we

have been born again and reunited with our Father in
Heaven. Then, our eyes and hearts are open to
unconditional love. Our ears listen to follow the ways of
our Father, our mouths speak of His love, and our hands
help one another and are there for others to hold in times
of need.
Abundant life exists within you and will be with you

throughout eternity. In this life, never lose sight of
Jesus, The Vine; for we cannot be fruitful if we are not
connected to Him.
As we live out the days ahead amidst the turmoil of the

world, knowing there are people who knowingly and
unknowingly have become agents of darkness, let us not
condemn; and let us not be filled with hatred or revenge.
Yet, let us neither cower nor back down in our belief in
holiness and righteousness and unconditional love. We are
soldiers of the cross, wearing the Armour of God, standing
and holding the line against darkness.
Our voice will be heard, but, even more, the wrath of
God within us and the hand of God upon us empowers us to
fight for what is right and pleasing in His sight. Not
needing to impose our will upon others through laws,
lying, cheating, illegal and rigged elections, invading
and occupying other countries, imprisoning our opponents
and those who speak out against us; using covert
operations; hacking computers; gerrymandering; using
money; and other unjust actions. These are the acts of
small, fearful, and powerless minds who have rejected God
and His Word. Our warfare is not carnal.
1071
2 Corinthians 10:1-8 (KJV)
1 Now I Paul myself beseech you by the meekness and

gentleness of Christ, who in presence am base among
you, but being absent am bold toward you:
2 But I beseech you, that I may not be bold when I

am present with that confidence, wherewith I think
to be bold against some, which think of us as if we
walked according to the flesh.

after the flesh:

but mighty through God to the pulling down of
strong holds;)


7 Do ye look on things after the outward

appearance? if any man trust to himself that he is
Christ's, let him of himself think this again,
that, as he is Christ's, even so are we Christ's.
8 For though I should boast somewhat more of our

authority, which the Lord hath given us for
edification, and not for your destruction, I should
not be ashamed:
1072
We are empowered to help change lives through the

example of Jesus and the effectiveness of God's Holy
Spirit manifested through us.
Remember that what is in the world is for the world.

The world is not your home. You are of the Kingdom. You
can make a difference in the life of others and in the
world if you live each moment abundantly bearing good
fruit, and shining God's Light of Love and Truth.
Now, this may sound all cheery and rosy and I apologize
if I have misled anyone up to this point. I would be
negligent not to inform you of what lies ahead. Is it the
end of the world? Not quite. Just remember that your life
ends the moment you stop believing in abundant and eternal
life.
What lies ahead is the end of life as you knew it in

the past. You are living a new life and one that will be
unfamiliar to you perhaps for quite some time. Just think
about the life of Jesus. Inside of Him he carried our
abundant and eternal life. Now, think about how he was
treated by the majority of His people. Ah-ha! There you
have it. If those in and of the world reject God, then,
they will reject you.
You will be tempted to compromise in order not to be

alone. There are times when friends and family are around
that you will still feel lonely. There are times when you,
like Jesus, will want to steal away and talk to your
Father alone to be strengthened and comforted.
Yes, your life in the 'world' will be different and

most often uncomfortable because you are still living a
new and changed life, in a place that is not your home.
1073
Although, you will be uncomfortable in the world does not

mean you will be uncomfortable with your new life within
the Kingdom; for within Christ, you are accepted and so
much more. Knowing that you are part of the Body of Christ
and the Kingdom of God, you are not alone. But, how do you
react to your friends and family forsaking you? Then, what
do you do? Can you carry and bear the cross? Can you
stand? Can you endure? What can you do to help to endure?
Your abundant life is effected by your understanding of

what joy and happiness really are and who you are. If you
continue to base your identity, worth or value as a person
on what those in and of the world think, you do yourself a
disservice and lesson the quality of life offered to you.
Standing alone or with committed others relies heavily on
your faith. Is your faith enough to sustain you? At times
you may find that it is not enough. However, surrendering
and leaning upon God IS enough and will always keep and
comfort you.
What can you keep from your old life and what must you
let go of in order to keep your hands upon the plow and
not look back? These questions lead us into our next
journey, where we acknowledge and respond to our being
"different" from those in the world and coming to accept
that being different does not have to be a bad or
difficult thing to be.
Thank you for your fellowship. Pray for me as I pray for

you.
Love Eternally,your servant and soldier, united with the

One, through Christ Jesus
mishael
1074



https://fsasw.blogspot.com or
1. Review the questions from the Preface. Have your

answers to them changed in any way? If so, how?
• Do you understand Rebirth? John 3: 8

• Have you been Reborn through God's Holy Spirit?
• Do you want to be Reborn?
• Are you enjoying ABUNDANT and ETERNAL LIFE, now?
John 10:10
• Do you have ETERNITY ahead of you? How do you
know? John 17:1-3
• How has your life changed?
• What are you doing or not doing differently?
• Do you feel CHANGED?
• Are you looking forward to ETERNITY? Have you
given it much thought?
1075
• Are you ready for ETERNITY?

• Are you living NOW like you have eternity ahead
of you? Should you be?
2. What have you learned about yourself by reading

this book?
3. Are there areas of your life you are willing to
surrender to God for Him to help you grow and
mature?
4. What were the things that you read, which you
could identify with?
5. What things couldn't you identify with and why?
6. Did you try to have understanding and compassion
for the characters within the story of Auntie
Yonny?
7. Did you have hope for all the characters or did
you give up on a particular character? If so, why?
8. Did you have a change of heart for a particular
character? If so, why?
9. Do you treat everyone as you would like to be
treated, even if they are of a different belief, a
non-believer, or still clinging to their flesh and
the world?
10. Within the story of Auntie Yonny, there were many
things that happened unexpectedly that were out of
a character's control and effected them
physically, mentally, and spiritually. These
pressures and stressors effected the way in which
they treated one another. As they hardened their
hearts or allowed pride to effect them, their
lives and relationships suffered. They leaned to
their own understanding and feelings. With this in
mind, how can walking in spirit and in truth give
us a more abundant life, leading to eternity with
God?
1076
AUNTIE YONNY CHARACTERS
SIEGFRIED FAMILY
• Reverend David Siegfried, Sr, Hal's Grandfather.
• Elizabeth (Howard-Graves, Johnson) Siegfried, David's
Mother, Hal's Grandmother (Willard Graves' daughter)
• David Siegfried, Jr., Hal's Father
• Karina (Long) Siegfried, Hal's mother
GRAVES FAMILY
• Hal (Harold David Siegfried), Harold: His mother's
father's name, meaning:
War chief, chief of the army,"army" and wield "power,
leader, ruler", From the Latin Herald meaning King. A man
1077
of God's own choosing to lead a nation. Subject to His

approval and His removal. A man with a perfectly round
head. A man of many thoughts and a few words. That guy is
so well thought of, he must be a Harold.#leader #round
#thoughtful #insightful #godly
• Willard Graves - Hal's great-grandfather, David's
grandfather
• Elizabeth Mae Howard, Hal's great-grandmother, David's
grandmother
• Elizabeth (Howard-Graves, Johnson) Siegfried -
David's mother
• David Siegfried, Jr. - Hal's father
• Hal (Harold) Siegfried
• David Siegfried Graves - Hal's son by
Rachel
• Tanya Karina Graves - Hal's daughter
by Zenobia
• Tanya Yanovich (Graves-Weinberg) – David's aunt,
Hal's great-aunt
John Weinberg - Tanya's first husband
Ilya Yanovich - Tanya's second husband
• Tanya's deceased children
• Miriam Graves-Barrett – Tanya's niece, Hal's
cousin
Miriam's sons - Hal's cousins
• Everett Graves, Jr., - Miriam's son, Hal's
cousin
• Conner Graves - Miriam's son, Hal's cousin
• Miriam's disabled son
• Miriam's Grandchildren - Hal's
cousins
1078
• Derek Graves - Presidential candidate, Hal's

cousin
• Rachel (Montgomery) Graves - Derek's ex-wife
• Richard Graves - Miriam's brother, late night
stranger
• William Graves - Miriam's brother, Hal's
cousin
WILLARD GRAVES' VICTIMS

• Elizabeth Mae Howard – David's grandmother, Hal's
great-grandmother
• Rachel's grandparents and parents
• The world
SECURITY & BODYGUARDS

• Steve
• Jake
• Arturo Pallares
• Martin, Hal's Bodyguard
• Vince, Hal's Bodyguard
• Sam, Hal's Chauffeur/Bodyguard
• Howard, David Siegfried's Bodyguard
• Ricardo – Hal's Security Guard with medical training
• Dudley – Derek Graves' Bodyguard
• Mr. Mac – Derek Graves' Bodyguard
HAL'S GIRLFRIEND
• Rachel Annalise Montgomery - Reporter, former boss at
1079
The Daily
• Ed Haskins - Editor in Chief, The Daily, Rachel's
Boss
• Pastor Allen Fitzgerald - Rachel's pastor
TANYA'S NURSE
Zenobia Agumanu: from Trinidad and Tobago, has position
open in Sweden if she wants it
• Wendell Baptiste, had a crush on Zenobia as a child,
now a surgeon, says that there are plenty of sick
people there for her to take care, nicknames the whale
as a child because he was obese, now tall and
athletic, was sent to boarding school as a teenager
• Yolande, Zenobia's childhood best friend, married with
children
Zenobia's Siblings
• Nigel, oldest brother, wife, Hazel, professors at the
local college, has teenage children, loud music
(Fabian, Lennox, Charles, Wendell were best friends
growing up)
• Keston, an accountant
• Ayanna, a model, working in Italy
• Valene, a teacher, husband is Andrei, a pharmacist
• Bertrand, away at college in France, working on PhD
• Kendall, a lawyer, Shandall's twin brother
• Shandall, a lawyer, Kendall's twin sister, husband
Evans, a banker
• Russell, an artist
• Cyd, a contractor, has a house for Zenobia and the
baby, hoping she'd come home
1080
TANYA'S DOCTOR
• Dr. Naveen Acharya, from India
HAL and TANYA'S STAFF

• Darla - Hal & Tanya Yanovich's personal secretary
• Karen - Hal's personal Assistant
• Carolyn - David Siegfried's nurse
• Pavithra - David's temporary nurse
ATTORNEYS
• Mr. Petway - Hal's attorney for Miriam's will hearing
• Christopher Holland - an attorney for Derek Graves
• Wellington, Gallegos, Childress and Stein
• Mr. Theodore Wellington – Miriam and Hal's
attorney
• Mr. Leon Childress – Miriam and Hal's attorney
2016 GANG
• Tex Tiledeler (The Mad Hatter) - Financial supporter
to Willard Graves campaign and the Republican Party
• The Red General – National Security Adviser
• Devon Monroe - Adviser to Willard Graves
• John Weinberg- Tanya's first husband
• Wheland Watermill - Special Prosecutor for Willard
Graves Corruption Investigation
1081
BUSINESS ASSOCIATES
• Natalie Tiledeler - Mad Hatter's great-granddaughter
POLICE & INVESTIGATORS

• Lieutenant Hamilton - Investigator for Miriam and
Arturo's murder
• Franky - Investigator for Miriam and Arturo's murder
• Officer Chaudhary - Off-duty security guard at the
hospital
1082
Alphabetical Index
1 John..........................................................500, 509 Alternate reality..........................................511, 516
2 Corinthians.....................................468, 579, 1069 Ambassador............51, 55, 106, 196, 226, 268, 526
2016 election.......................................771, 914, 919 Ambassadors.........................65, 467, 504, 506, 632
Aaron Buoy.....................................................384p. Ambassadors of Jesus.........................................632
Abraham...176, 205p., 337, 457pp., 578, 623, 676, America......121, 264, 269, 359, 385p., 403, 409p.,
693, 959p., 973, 1029 413p., 417p., 420, 426, 453, 542, 624, 646, 673,
ABUNDANT...20pp., 46, 48p., 58, 65, 67, 83, 89, 697p., 742, 778, 856, 966
100, 111, 151, 155, 158, 161, 166, 169, 171p., American..46, 119, 326, 348, 358, 409, 431p., 629,
185p., 189, 196, 204, 207, 213, 219p., 223pp., 827, 966, 1059
257, 261p., 266pp., 271, 298, 302pp., 314, 316, Americans........115, 117, 263, 308, 413p., 432, 453
360, 387, 391, 410, 419, 436, 442, 448pp., 454p., Anarchy.......................................................513, 518
471, 507, 545p., 565, 570, 583, 607, 625, 676, 680, Angels...........................20, 171, 313, 445, 501, 632
689, 691pp., 696p., 700p., 703p., 744, 936, 1038, Anxiety....54, 187, 220p., 266, 422, 435, 571, 700,
1062, 1064p., 1067p., 1070pp. 743, 772, 916p., 947
Abundantly........43, 46, 54, 67, 101, 107, 109, 118, Archangel Lucifer...............................................632
128p., 149, 189p., 194, 204, 209, 211, 216, 220, Arine...................................................................718
266, 268, 316, 329, 339, 372, 434, 440, 449, 487, Arrogance 265, 377, 542, 581, 672, 700, 940, 1001,
506, 584, 631, 676, 702, 947, 1038, 1065, 1070 1003, 1053
Acceptance.41, 93, 262, 435, 563pp., 567, 570pp., Artful Dodger.....................................................741
575, 577, 580, 584, 586, 588p., 607, 687, 692, Arturo......348, 350p., 480, 528pp., 548p., 556pp.,
703p., 969, 1066 609, 636, 646, 649p., 655, 709, 713, 718, 720, 730,
Accountable 60, 106, 108, 160, 164, 196, 198, 200, 735, 742, 841, 928, 1066, 1076, 1079
362p., 442, 483, 502, 927 Arturo Pallares..........................................730, 1076
Acharya. 345p., 816, 1012, 1016, 1052, 1056, 1078 Ashamed.....35, 566, 575, 580, 599, 659, 669, 690,
Achilles Heel......................................................960 743, 761, 766, 796, 928, 1044, 1069
Acts.................94, 98, 103, 109, 113, 130, 465, 477 Assange.......................................................294, 352
Adam.....26p., 29p., 35, 151, 313, 433, 459, 504p., Attributes of God................................................513
607, 679, 700, 703 Aunt Tanya.....237, 637, 639pp., 665, 668, 670pp.,
Addict.........................................................539, 541 738, 744, 992p.
Addiction..............................................28, 539, 704 Auntie Tanya 615, 710, 733, 735, 743pp., 757, 901,
Addictive.............................................................690 909, 918, 921p., 982, 1002, 1004, 1059p.
Adversary...29, 44, 65, 72, 74, 87, 105p., 116, 118, AUNTIE YONNY. . .229p., 237, 239, 244pp., 251,
146, 176, 302, 313, 367p., 413pp., 419, 450, 455, 273p., 279p., 285, 306p., 320p., 323p., 342p.,
462, 468, 470p., 473, 504, 540, 542, 584, 680, 682, 353p., 373p., 381p., 392p., 396p., 421p., 478p.,
701, 940, 971, 1062 481p., 510p., 520p., 547p., 550, 555p., 590p.,
Adversity......56, 65, 129, 170, 216, 220, 403, 434, 610p., 634p., 645p., 656p., 666p., 706p., 717p.,
449, 483, 501, 540, 564, 568, 573, 588, 619 723p., 728p., 734p., 746p., 751p., 763p., 774,
Algal biofuel.......................................................753 784p., 790, 799p., 807p., 815p., 824p., 846p.,
Allen Fitzgerald.............916, 925, 945p., 948, 1077 854p., 862, 881p., 889p., 904p., 910p., 923p.,
Alt-Right..................................288p., 292, 661, 699 938p., 962p., 983p., 994p., 1006p., 1018p.,
1083
1041p., 1061p., 1065p., 1074 161, 185, 196, 201, 337p., 455, 491p., 501p., 504,
AUNTIE YONNY: THE PRISON YEARS.......764 506, 527, 632, 1062, 1071
Author and Finisher of our faith.................188, 681 Bondage 27pp., 31, 33, 84, 89, 105pp., 111p., 151,
Author and the Finisher of your faith.................582 159, 171, 187, 196, 198p., 211, 262p., 311, 332,
Awaken....................................45, 83, 112, 492, 705 453, 462, 467, 471, 487p., 577, 581pp., 625, 663,
Awaken the sleeping...........................112, 492, 705 681, 687p., 692p., 697pp., 764p., 832, 906
Awakened............101, 290, 312, 350, 623, 671, 688 Born again 19, 40, 47p., 58, 60, 101, 105, 149, 371,
Back doors..........................................................740 491, 500, 503, 523, 545, 625, 678, 702, 1068
Bannon................................................................416 Boundaries....................84, 168, 199, 263, 538, 544
Barriers.........................................................19, 178 Brain................................223, 252, 538p., 564, 944
Behaviors....................................678, 688, 690, 692 Brainwashed.......................................................512
Believer......23, 34, 50p., 73, 76, 93p., 96p., 102p., Breastplate of righteousness.......................469, 694
112, 116, 121p., 128pp., 141, 162p., 263, 297, 335, Breitbart..............................................288, 292, 294
461, 468, 470, 539, 621, 671, 687, 691, 958, Bridegroom...........................................................21
1072p. Brother's keeper......38, 85, 112, 200, 416, 472, 502
Believers.....52, 56, 59, 66, 83p., 88pp., 98p., 101, Brutus..............................................................643p.
108, 110, 116, 118, 125p., 146, 149, 153, 175, 179, Bullying......................................................540, 631
194, 206, 208, 215, 257, 297, 299, 337, 340, 446, Burden27, 219, 266, 302, 435, 486, 488p., 493pp.,
449, 453, 455, 457, 461p., 487, 518, 538, 545, 625, 497, 502, 506, 508, 518, 542, 892, 934, 1059
632, 680, 698, 702, 941 BURDEN OF PROOF........................................493
Bigot...........................................................661, 834 BURDENED.................311, 486pp., 499, 506, 508
Bigotry................................................251, 414, 540 Caesar...................................................634p., 643p.
Biofuel................................................................753 Campaign 288p., 294, 325, 345, 354, 358p., 378p.,
Biracial................................................599, 603, 744 382, 384, 401, 481p., 518, 535, 771, 793, 863, 913,
Bitter fruit...................................................507, 680 931, 963, 1057p., 1064, 1078
Bitterness....................................194, 258, 304, 503 Campaigning.......................729, 764, 788, 830, 842
Black people...............................617, 630, 743, 852 Capitalist.............................................................544
Black President...................................................542 Cardinal Vinalli...................................................826
Blame181, 270, 293, 297, 393, 413, 427, 490, 492, Caretaker...............................................26, 224, 668
497, 505p., 638, 673, 679, 689, 780, 809, 831, 893, Carnal......27, 77, 83, 153, 314, 335, 337, 366, 458,
906, 971p., 981, 1047 468, 470, 512, 546, 579, 1068p.
Blaming............127, 482, 491, 500, 606, 810, 1057 Carolyn....835, 847, 856, 1008pp., 1012, 1014pp.,
Bless 50, 189, 258, 271, 508p., 592, 608, 679, 681, 1036, 1052p., 1078
1037p. CHANGED. 19, 23, 31, 40, 48, 57, 59, 80, 82, 118,
Blessings in Disguise..........................................588 125, 151, 157, 185p., 193, 250, 258, 321, 351, 414,
Blinded..29, 68, 105, 197, 204, 260, 332, 399, 413, 442, 480, 582, 604, 629p., 658, 686, 692, 735, 739,
417, 453, 467, 505p., 515, 542, 576, 585, 671, 909, 744, 793, 843, 870, 881p., 886, 888pp., 901p.,
941, 1001, 1036 920, 928, 1036, 1042, 1050, 1066, 1070, 1072
Blindness. .162, 263, 368, 410, 412, 505, 542, 544, Charlottesville.........................648, 661, 669p., 853
662, 699, 1037 Charlottesville, Virginia......................................661
Blood 29pp., 44, 57, 71, 166, 170p., 211, 251, 302, Chaudhary.......................................................614p.
314, 337, 460, 469, 500, 548, 556pp., 570, 599, Chauvinist...........................................................811
678, 694, 733, 812, 947, 966, 1042, 1052p. Chief Shepherd...........................149, 169, 702, 941
Body of Christ......47, 97, 108, 128, 145, 150, 155, Child of God....41, 135, 187, 193, 268, 302p., 528,
1084
565, 576, 626, 628, 766, 953, 959, 992 Comforter............................................................583

Children of God....32, 47, 116, 152, 158, 571, 578, Commission................................................145, 501
631, 680, 1062 Commonality of mankind...................................577
Children of Israel................................................623 Community......328, 416, 566, 568p., 575, 580, 631
Childress.....591, 596pp., 600p., 603pp., 608, 719, Commutation......................................................769
1078 Companion....................................................26, 843
Christ....22, 26, 32, 36, 43, 46pp., 51, 53pp., 57p., Compassion. .83, 87, 222, 364, 405, 542, 576, 619,
60, 64, 66p., 70pp., 74, 76, 81, 83, 90, 95, 97, 101, 753, 869
104, 106, 108, 110, 118pp., 128p., 145p., 148pp., Compulsive behaviors........................................690
155pp., 159, 161p., 172, 177, 180, 185, 190p., Condemn...............................49, 73, 503, 505, 1068
196, 201, 215, 219, 226, 262, 268, 271, 301, Condemnation...............................43, 508, 568, 629
303pp., 337p., 362p., 367, 389, 416, 433, 442, Confederacy................................................409, 411
447pp., 455, 457, 460pp., 466pp., 474p., 487pp., Confederate History............................................410
491p., 500pp., 506p., 524, 526p., 564, 568, 570, Conform.............................................34, 539p., 583
579, 583p., 624, 631p., 677p., 681, 687p., 692, Congress.............................382, 401, 769, 771, 780
697p., 701p., 705, 744, 768, 902, 905, 927, 941, Conner.................752pp., 840, 842, 844, 901, 1075
946, 948, 978, 1037pp., 1062, 1069, 1071 Conner Barrett.................752, 754p., 840, 842, 844
Christ Jesus....32, 36, 46pp., 57, 60, 148, 155, 161, Conquered the world.............49, 224, 571, 607, 687
177, 191, 268, 271, 304, 433, 447, 449, 457, Consequences. 82, 88, 93, 154, 219, 243, 278, 308,
460pp., 466p., 487, 501, 503, 564, 568, 698, 701, 453, 588, 639, 681, 790, 810, 821
941, 978, 1037, 1062, 1071 Conservative.......................................................544
Christ's Ambassadors..........................................504 Contested will.....................................................833
Christian....106, 124, 339, 457, 461, 470, 489, 629, Contesting the will...........................................754p.
671, 835, 859, 954 Control...27, 66, 89, 97, 109, 111, 157, 159p., 164,
Christians...56, 83, 90, 146, 263, 418, 457, 459pp., 168p., 176, 178, 181p., 208, 260, 264, 278, 281,
661 287, 291p., 325, 335, 351, 356, 375p., 382, 384,
Christopher Holland.....863pp., 873pp., 1049, 1078 388, 401p., 417p., 428, 431, 450, 453, 462, 470,
Chronic depression.............................................772 504, 513, 516, 530, 532, 536, 538, 540p., 543, 569,
Church 106, 111, 124p., 127, 148, 152, 156p., 159, 581p., 586, 596, 625, 632, 690, 699, 739, 757, 839,
178p., 299, 331p., 334p., 337pp. 907, 913, 919, 940, 944, 975, 1010, 1015, 1024,
Circumstances. . .56, 68, 163, 171p., 200, 221, 224, 1026, 1036
276, 315, 415, 559, 564, 568, 593, 595, 622, 638, CONVERSATIONS................................309, 610p.
679, 756, 899, 902, 957, 960, 1063, 1065 Corporate spies......................................740, 894pp.
Civil war 375, 398p., 402, 405, 411, 601, 642, 781, Correction...................................................503, 583
811 Corrupt regimes..................................................543
Classical mechanics....................................657, 667 Corruption.........43, 47, 82, 97, 121, 158, 209, 211,
Clean heart...............105, 180, 316, 318p., 450, 583 241p., 253, 326, 351, 638, 680p., 1003, 1057, 1079
Climate change...................................................780 Cover-up. . .119, 242, 268, 274, 344, 358, 378, 400,
Clinton.............................................................358p. 536, 897
Clinton emails.....................................................358 Creator....28, 30, 56, 205, 331, 578, 582, 622, 671,
Clintons...............................................................383 939
Coast Guard graduates........................................385 Crime..294, 358, 378, 382, 535, 540p., 543, 547p.,
Cognitive thinking......................................511, 538 550, 557, 624, 736, 740, 770, 1064
Comfort zone..............................333, 339, 697, 702 Crimes. 245, 344, 376, 398, 605, 770p., 913, 1003,
1085
1058, 1062 Deputy Attorney General....................................385

Criticism...............................64, 156, 253, 489, 503 Derek...285, 287, 295, 343pp., 350, 354, 513, 518,
Criticize...............482, 495, 497, 568, 587, 812, 947 603, 642, 709, 719, 721, 724, 729, 731pp., 739p.,
Crossroad............................................563, 584, 692 749, 764, 768, 775pp., 781pp., 785, 787pp., 793p.,
Crossroads..........................................................588 803pp., 810, 813, 823, 829pp., 834, 838, 840pp.,
Crucified.....................................160, 475, 505, 687 856, 863, 882, 884p., 901, 909, 913p., 920p.,
Culture.........34p., 42, 120, 148, 222, 431, 581, 702 924p., 929pp., 935, 941, 946, 963p., 968pp., 972,
Cyber warfare.....................................................736 974pp., 980p., 993, 998, 1001pp., 1005, 1049,
Cyber weapons....................................................325 1057pp., 1076, 1078
Cyber-attack........................................................325 Derek Graves285, 287, 295, 343pp., 354, 513, 518,
Darkness. .22, 29, 32, 44pp., 49, 58, 65, 67, 70, 88, 603, 642, 709, 719, 721, 724, 729, 731pp., 739p.,
105, 112, 115, 129, 146, 155p., 158, 188, 196, 749, 764, 768, 775, 785, 787p., 794, 813, 823, 834,
198p., 201, 215p., 221, 242, 258, 265p., 276, 278, 838, 840pp., 863, 909, 913, 929, 931, 946, 964,
298, 304, 311p., 314, 332p., 363p., 385, 389p., 993, 1001pp., 1049, 1057p., 1076, 1078
399, 410pp., 417, 456p., 464, 467, 469pp., 489p., Devin Monroe.............................288, 401, 423, 672
504p., 539, 565, 576pp., 581p., 623pp., 632, 663, Devon Monroe....................661, 669, 671pp., 1078
681, 692pp., 698, 700p., 703, 887, 899, 906, 936, Dictator...............................................326, 402, 778
941, 1037, 1062pp., 1068 Dictatorship.........................................................403
Darla......234, 236, 240, 283p., 310, 558, 591, 636, Disabled veterans................................................718
646p., 649, 667, 719pp., 742, 747p., 757, 912, Discern........................................................101, 453
915pp., 1047pp., 1078 Disciples...57, 60p., 83, 112, 144, 152p., 224, 315,
David 69p., 72p., 99, 206, 259, 313, 456, 578, 660, 362, 366, 464, 467, 499pp., 507, 955
662, 664p., 708, 713, 715, 738, 790, 792pp., Discipleship. .21, 106, 501, 506, 526, 701, 916, 978
800p., 803p., 808p., 812pp., 816, 822p., 831pp., DISCONNECT...........................................149, 702
835, 850, 853, 864pp., 886, 888, 916, 924, 928pp., Discouraged..........................22, 302, 438, 450, 582
932pp., 946, 966pp., 972, 979, 982, 984pp., Discriminate....................................42, 45, 410, 691
991pp., 995pp., 1007p., 1010, 1012p., 1016, 1043, Discrimination....89, 205, 412, 432, 540, 576, 618,
1052pp., 1074pp., 1078 631, 699, 704
David Siegfried......660, 662, 664p., 713, 715, 738, Discriminatory............................................581, 618
790, 792pp., 798, 800, 803p., 808p., 813, 816, Distraction.........171, 187, 289, 314, 379, 631, 678,
822p., 831p., 850, 853, 864, 867, 869, 888, 916, 906p.
924, 928, 966pp., 979, 984, 1001, 1012, 1074pp., Distractions.........................171, 189, 220, 631, 682
1078 Distrust..............................................63p., 156, 700
David Siegfried, Sr...................................662, 1074 Diversity...............60, 365, 404, 418, 545, 635, 944
Deliverance.................................339, 570, 572, 582 Divided country............................44, 115, 627, 630
Democracy....46, 116p., 289, 291, 325, 359, 374p., Divine authority..................................................578
377, 403, 414, 418, 542, 780, 943, 945 Divorce.......................................................753, 806
Democrat.......................................................46, 398 DNA............................................................602, 607
Democratic institutions.......................................699 Dross...................................................................617
Democrats...263, 270, 294, 383, 400, 661, 673, 771 Drug.......................86, 88, 287, 489, 539pp., 585p.
Demons...............................................312, 470, 578 Drug abuse....................................................539pp.
Depressed............................221, 298, 523, 686, 757 Drug abuser.........................................................541
Depression 221, 435, 489, 571, 700, 743, 757, 772, Drugs.........................31, 539p., 542, 594, 743, 772
908 Earthquake.......................................................699p.
1086
Economic disparity.............................................699 267, 305, 317, 415, 419, 434, 436, 442, 448, 454p.,
Egocentricism.....................................................511 471, 546, 565, 570, 676, 691, 696p., 701, 744, 936,
Egypt...........................................180, 259, 487, 680 959, 982, 1063pp., 1067, 1070, 1072
Elder Joseph Brackett, Jr.....................566, 575, 580 ETERNAL LIFE19p., 22p., 32p., 43, 46, 48p., 54,
Election..238, 325, 344, 358p., 378, 382, 771, 788, 58, 66, 81, 83, 89, 95, 104, 107, 111, 155, 158, 166,
914, 919p., 946 172, 196, 213, 226, 267, 419, 434, 436, 442, 448,
Elite.............................111, 209, 230, 513, 517, 543 454p., 471, 546, 565, 570, 676, 691, 744, 936,
Elizabeth Howard............................................597p. 1064p., 1067, 1070, 1072
Embolden............................................................827 Eternity4, 18pp., 32p., 65, 128, 161, 225, 265, 314,
Empowered 35, 56, 204pp., 212pp., 216, 404, 449, 419, 455, 506, 703pp., 1062, 1068, 1072p.
471, 524, 564, 693, 701, 1069 Ethnicity........................................64, 398, 432, 691
EMPOWERING...........71, 454, 457, 463, 661, 693 Eve. .26p., 29p., 35, 151, 313, 504p., 679, 700, 703
EMPOWERMENT.............203, 207, 209, 327, 492 Everett......752pp., 805, 840, 842, 844p., 901, 1075
Endurance...72, 435, 444, 522, 524, 527, 544, 563, Everett Barrett.........................752, 754p., 842, 844
584, 586, 588p., 687, 692, 703, 1066 Everlasting life....20, 33, 55, 161, 223p., 443, 507,
Endure...30, 64, 166, 188, 212, 216, 434, 466, 511, 524, 545, 1038
521pp., 526p., 564, 572p., 584p., 588p., 698, 701, Example......40, 58, 60, 83, 98, 119, 157, 188, 263,
887, 1038, 1065, 1071 297, 334p., 457, 503, 506, 569, 630, 703, 756, 937,
Endureth......................................................257, 524 946, 981, 1038, 1062, 1069
Enemy....44p., 52, 83, 90, 102, 116, 127, 171, 187, Examples of Jesus...............................................698
198, 201, 215, 220, 223p., 243, 250, 262p., 267, Exhort.........................................................364, 503
297pp., 301, 330pp., 358p., 371, 401pp., 413, 416, Exodus................................................257, 271, 623
420, 427, 448, 453pp., 462p., 466pp., 471p., 528, Faith.31p., 34, 36pp., 46pp., 51, 58, 64p., 67, 101,
540, 542p., 561, 569, 577p., 580, 583, 619, 670, 106, 111, 120, 128, 159, 161, 175pp., 181, 187p.,
698, 704, 736, 741, 887, 936, 971, 996, 1004, 193, 201, 208, 212, 218, 221, 235, 258, 308, 316,
1063p. 334p., 351, 370, 399, 416, 434p., 442, 444, 453,
Enlightened.........................................155, 589, 621 457p., 460p., 469, 473, 475, 489, 492, 525, 538,
Entitlement........99, 454, 541p., 582, 677, 680, 958 545, 577, 582, 589, 621, 679, 681, 694, 701, 703,
Ephesians.....44, 47, 52, 161, 164, 338, 363, 367p., 809, 832, 921, 936, 940p., 978, 981, 990, 1018p.,
372, 469, 472, 693 1027, 1029, 1035pp., 1064, 1066, 1071
Episode....78p., 229p., 273p., 279p., 306p., 320p., Faithful....99, 106p., 129, 241, 257, 438, 448, 466,
342p., 353p., 373p., 381p., 392p., 396p., 421p., 644pp., 654p., 680
478p., 510p., 520p., 547p., 550, 555p., 590p., Fame. .76, 110, 186, 209, 265p., 292, 328, 447, 624
610p., 634p., 645p., 656p., 666p., 706p., 717p., Father in Heaven.......300, 302, 388, 534, 578, 1068
723p., 728p., 734p., 746p., 751p., 763p., 774, Father, Son and Holy Spirit....32, 36, 46, 201, 225,
784p., 790, 799p., 807p., 815p., 824p., 828p., 837, 632
846p., 854p., 862, 881p., 889p., 904p., 910p., Faults..................................194, 571, 573, 585, 632
923p., 938p., 962p., 983p., 994p., 1006p., 1018p., FBI.................324p., 358, 393, 422, 427, 780, 1057
1041p. Fear.....33, 45p., 51p., 70, 88, 90, 93, 97, 102, 110,
Equality............327, 331p., 411, 540, 545, 607, 945 156, 158p., 169p., 173pp., 178, 180, 182, 187p.,
Espionage........................274, 358, 736, 740p., 896 198, 206, 208pp., 220p., 224, 260, 264, 266, 292,
ETERNAL...19p., 22p., 32p., 43, 46, 48p., 54, 58, 335, 344, 386, 400, 402, 404, 413, 456, 479, 589,
66p., 81, 83, 89, 91, 95, 100, 104, 107, 111, 132p., 602, 641, 682p., 689pp., 700, 703, 766, 770, 834,
137, 140, 155, 158, 161, 166, 172, 196, 213, 226, 886p., 900, 928, 932, 936, 940p., 946pp., 964,
1087
1020, 1065, 1067 Freewill.......29, 48, 59, 82, 213, 260, 572, 581, 622
Federal prisons....................................................770 Friend....49, 64, 118, 126, 186, 215, 293, 299, 302,
Federal prosecutors..........................................769p. 304, 437p., 446, 451, 491, 526, 583, 644, 649, 652,
Feelings.....27, 35, 167, 169, 187, 194p., 201, 223, 698, 704, 787, 804p., 853, 867, 1031, 1055, 1077
252, 275, 277, 395, 435, 448, 480, 540, 554, 621, Fruitful22, 56, 67, 72, 97, 128, 190, 211pp., 215p.,
637, 679, 688, 692, 697, 704, 731, 765pp., 806, 220, 224, 226, 304p., 362, 388, 411, 430, 433p.,
820p., 844, 883, 887, 898p., 901, 971, 1028, 1050, 437, 440, 447, 449, 677pp., 681, 700, 1064p., 1068
1054 Fruitfulness....187, 189, 211, 214p., 297, 333, 337,
Feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of 339, 364, 411, 433, 449p., 697p., 1064
peace...........................................................469, 694 Fruits...................................176, 419, 679, 681, 957
Fellowship 21, 106, 156, 333, 365p., 500, 504, 508, Fruits of God's Holy Spirit..................................681
526p., 784pp., 924, 964, 1071 Function 47, 67, 108, 157, 193, 338, 491, 502, 504,
Fellowshipped.....................................................503 506, 511, 538p., 688
Financial gain..................................................624p. FUNCTIONING53p., 244, 338, 346, 504, 635, 702
Fire and brimstone..............................................608 Gallegos............................................591, 719, 1078
First Lady................................................629p., 831 Garment........................................................82, 524
Flesh 28, 31p., 35p., 43p., 47, 54pp., 60, 74p., 118, Generation.....60, 252, 257, 261, 269, 345, 490, 944
121, 148, 159p., 163, 166, 168p., 171p., 182, Gift....31, 81, 83, 95, 104, 182, 185, 247, 287, 312,
188p., 197, 205, 210, 219, 224, 236, 268, 315p., 328, 370, 496, 539, 564pp., 570pp., 575, 580, 681,
330, 366, 368, 371, 406, 416, 442, 444, 449p., 455, 696, 703, 788, 831, 1048, 1055, 1064
468pp., 475, 512, 546, 577, 579, 675, 677, 682, Gifts.150, 182, 185p., 213p., 332, 335, 370p., 523,
693p., 703, 762, 765, 786, 909, 941, 1069 564, 566, 569pp., 575, 580, 586, 607, 701, 705,
Follow 21, 40p., 43, 46, 51, 57p., 65p., 76, 97, 101, 736, 831
108, 110, 149, 169, 172, 174, 188, 190, 195, 201p., Global economy..................................................778
214, 219, 225, 233, 248, 261, 265, 270p., 313, Global warfare....................................................577
318p., 362, 366, 407, 414, 416, 419, 428, 442, 446, Glorification..................................35, 411, 524, 887
459pp., 467, 475, 488, 491p., 495, 500, 502p., Glorify God108, 160, 163, 411, 419, 464, 625, 678,
507p., 525p., 537, 551, 565, 583, 601, 607, 677p., 681, 705
681, 691, 701pp., 717p., 723p., 728p., 734p., 738, Glory. .152, 154p., 157p., 175, 262, 313, 334, 449,
741, 746p., 755, 937, 941, 963, 966, 1038, 1068 462, 579, 633, 678, 682, 993, 1039
FOLLOW THE MONEY........717p., 723p., 728p., God......19pp., 23, 26pp., 40pp., 45pp., 51, 54pp.,
734p., 741, 746p. 64pp., 68pp., 81pp., 86pp., 95pp., 104pp.,
Forceful assimilation..........................................581 115pp., 120p., 124pp., 145pp., 166pp., 170pp.,
Foreign agent......................................................780 185pp., 192pp., 199pp., 204pp., 219pp., 235,
Foreign policy.....................................................384 256pp., 297p., 300pp., 308, 312pp., 331pp., 351,
Forgive.22, 62p., 77, 102, 108, 191, 247, 251, 259, 362pp., 370pp., 377p., 386, 389, 391, 395, 399,
316, 332, 405, 412, 463, 488, 554, 564, 573p., 675, 409, 411pp., 419p., 426, 431, 433pp., 440pp.,
710, 712p., 725, 743p., 753p., 766, 792, 812, 452pp., 466pp., 480, 487p., 490pp., 500pp., 511,
834p., 884, 887, 891, 918, 1037p. 513pp., 522pp., 527p., 538, 542, 544pp., 564p.,
Forgiven 85, 91, 363, 406, 564, 572, 588, 625, 700, 569pp., 576pp., 581pp., 600, 602, 606pp., 613,
743 616pp., 621pp., 625pp., 630pp., 635, 639, 641,
Forgiveness....62, 72, 87, 91, 564, 571p., 582, 586, 654p., 657, 662, 667, 671pp., 675pp., 686pp.,
705, 766, 823, 834p., 947 691pp., 705, 714, 743p., 754, 762, 766, 787, 796,
Freedom of speech..............................................544 800, 809, 811, 819pp., 830pp., 835, 839, 848, 856,
1088
863, 887p., 890pp., 901p., 905p., 908p., 921, 307pp., 316pp., 321pp., 343pp., 354pp., 374,
924p., 928, 930, 933p., 936, 939pp., 945pp., 377p., 382, 393pp., 397, 399pp., 479pp., 511,
964pp., 969, 971pp., 976, 978, 981p., 989p., 513p., 516pp., 521p., 524pp., 548pp., 556pp.,
992p., 1004, 1012, 1028p., 1034pp., 1039, 1044, 591pp., 595pp., 614p., 635pp., 646pp., 650pp.,
1046p., 1059, 1062pp., 1075 657pp., 667pp., 672, 707pp., 713, 715, 718pp.,
God allowed. .300, 371, 573, 585, 587p., 617, 641, 724pp., 729pp., 735pp., 743, 745, 747pp., 752pp.,
687 765pp., 775, 782p., 785, 788, 791pp., 800pp., 806,
God SPECIALIZES............................545, 569, 607 808, 811pp., 816p., 819p., 822p., 830pp., 838pp.,
God's character........................................257p., 583 845, 847pp., 860p., 866, 869, 882pp., 890pp.,
God's Promises...........172, 187, 304, 413, 586, 621 907pp., 911, 913pp., 921, 924pp., 946, 964pp.,
Goliath..................................................69, 456, 578 979pp., 984, 986, 989pp., 998p., 1002, 1004,
Good fruit......170, 202, 228, 271, 301, 411, 430p., 1007p., 1010p., 1013pp., 1020, 1022pp., 1035pp.,
440, 447, 449, 508, 680, 940, 947, 1038, 1070 1042pp., 1056pp., 1066, 1074pp., 1078
Good news......20, 42, 145, 226, 463, 713, 895, 964 Hal Siegfried..236, 346, 511, 596, 640, 730p., 743,
Good Samaritan..................................................541 754p., 761, 782p., 806, 893, 935, 946, 966,
Gossip...............................................36, 52, 63, 689 1048pp.
Gossiping....................................................223, 489 Hamlet.................................................................537
Government.......45, 59, 116p., 119pp., 290p., 308, Hardships............................434, 541, 568, 588, 698
325p., 331p., 339p., 376, 379, 398, 401, 403p., Hate groups.................................................661, 699
424, 453, 472, 476, 539, 542, 565, 577, 623, 739p., Hateful rhetoric.....................................45, 406, 631
772, 780, 827, 944, 947, 1059, 1064 Hatred......45, 52, 96, 115, 158, 166, 194, 260, 400,
Government regulations..............................542, 944 402, 404, 410, 424, 503, 543, 565, 577, 581, 605,
Government spies...............................................740 607, 625, 629, 631, 638, 670, 675, 689, 691p., 698,
Governor.............................................................293 700, 703, 834, 887, 895, 921, 1001, 1063, 1068
Grand jury.....................................................769pp. Head and not the tail...........................................632
Grandpa Siegfried..397, 405, 516, 743, 901p., 1055 Heads of State.............................................772, 826
Graves Tower..............775, 782, 803, 808, 829, 963 Heal their land.....................................................675
Greed...82, 96, 99, 241, 328, 413p., 542, 544, 577, Healing89, 108, 220, 370, 463, 506, 542, 607, 689,
624, 638, 677, 692, 697, 699, 703, 887, 895, 921 692, 704
Greener pastures......................................492p., 496 Healthcare..............................237, 308, 453, 540pp.
Grey Zone...........................................................699 Heart....20, 23, 29, 31, 34, 37, 39, 48, 50p., 55, 57,
Grieving........................97, 102, 170, 221, 517, 757 59p., 64, 68pp., 73, 75, 77pp., 93, 98, 103, 105,
Growth.....21, 105p., 111, 158, 187, 189, 212, 366, 112, 118, 121, 127, 129, 150, 158, 162, 167pp.,
412, 432, 434, 444, 455, 544, 570, 585, 663, 680, 171, 179pp., 185, 194, 196p., 201, 215, 219, 223,
944 229p., 244, 258p., 263, 265pp., 270, 273p., 277,
Guilt. .27, 64, 96, 98, 108, 196, 304, 335, 410, 435, 279p., 287, 298, 300, 306p., 312, 314pp., 318pp.,
450, 489, 502, 504, 506, 518, 584, 588p., 635, 647, 332pp., 342p., 346, 351, 353p., 362pp., 368,
669p., 690, 766, 832, 890pp., 901, 909, 925, 373p., 381p., 388pp., 396p., 400, 405pp., 413,
927p., 930, 946, 972, 975, 1005, 1022 419, 421p., 426, 428, 434p., 437, 442, 444, 448,
Guilty..120, 243, 281p., 345, 393, 480, 488, 610p., 450, 453, 455, 460, 476, 478pp., 486, 490, 492,
639, 766, 869, 1040 495pp., 503, 506, 508, 510p., 520p., 523, 526,
Habits..................................................................690 541p., 545, 547pp., 553, 555p., 564, 568, 579,
Hacking.......325, 355, 481p., 895, 919, 1057, 1068 582p., 585, 588, 590pp., 595p., 605, 610p., 618,
Hal. . .230pp., 249pp., 274pp., 280pp., 290, 294p., 621, 625, 631, 634p., 644pp., 648, 656pp., 661,
1089
666p., 671, 674, 677, 681, 683p., 696, 703, Holy Ghost.................27, 91, 98, 128, 475, 1062
706pp., 710, 712, 717p., 723p., 728p., 734p., 743, Paradise..........................................26, 29, 32, 65
746p., 751p., 754, 758, 763p., 774, 784p., 790, Purity...........................26p., 189, 263, 501, 1028
796, 799p., 802, 807p., 815p., 824p., 828p., 834, Rebirth....23, 26, 28, 33, 55, 159, 161, 186, 449,
837, 842, 846p., 854p., 862, 869, 881p., 889pp., 703, 1072
896, 899pp., 904pp., 909pp., 921, 923p., 936, Temptation.....26, 182, 187, 450, 455, 572, 583,
938pp., 946, 948, 962p., 972, 982pp., 994p., 1002, 744, 756, 1065
1004, 1006pp., 1012, 1018p., 1025, 1027pp., Tree of Knowledge..............................26p., 29p.
1036pp., 1041p., 1048, 1055, 1061p., 1072 High profile prisoner...........................................770
Hearts. .21, 41p., 45, 55, 57, 59p., 117, 145, 177p., Hillary Rodham Clinton.....................................359
191, 201, 206, 258, 301, 313, 336, 365, 391, 395, Hispanics.............................................270, 418, 743
411, 413pp., 417, 473, 476, 488, 490, 494, 501p., Historical statues of the Confederacy.................409
508, 543, 565, 571, 576p., 618, 699pp., 786, 834, Hoax............................................................400, 773
887, 990, 1067p. Holiness. . .19, 21, 31, 33, 36, 38, 60pp., 66, 70pp.,
Heaven32, 38, 50, 55p., 61, 75, 82, 87, 105, 107p., 75pp., 84, 97, 100, 128, 158, 171, 174p., 177,
129, 144p., 153, 188, 190, 208p., 215, 227p., 257, 180p., 183, 206, 211, 215p., 220, 225p., 260, 262,
260p., 265, 271, 300, 302p., 313, 340, 351, 388, 298, 313, 331, 333, 364, 370p., 411, 415, 444, 450,
442, 462, 511, 516, 534, 578, 632, 671, 675, 678, 455, 464, 467, 473, 565, 578, 607, 677pp., 681p.,
701, 704, 992, 1064, 1066, 1068 697, 704, 887, 940, 1037, 1068
Heavenly Father....33, 66, 111, 172, 191, 219, 224, Holy 23, 26p., 29pp., 36, 38, 46, 48, 50, 57pp., 63,
265, 419, 456, 458, 546, 572, 700, 821, 893, 993, 71p., 74, 76, 84, 86p., 89pp., 97p., 100pp., 107p.,
1067 117, 124p., 127pp., 152p., 158, 161, 170, 173,
Hebrews...........................................................508p. 176p., 179p., 182, 186pp., 193, 196, 201, 204,
Helmet of salvation.....................................469, 694 206p., 211, 213, 219p., 225p., 263, 268, 271, 302,
Helpmate................................................................... 305, 313, 330, 332p., 338, 363pp., 370pp., 388p.,
Barrett. 236, 244p., 247p., 250pp., 282pp., 309, 416, 419, 433, 437, 445, 448p., 457pp., 472, 475,
323, 550, 557p., 591, 593pp., 608, 635, 649p., 500, 503p., 508p., 523, 538, 564, 569, 579, 581,
725, 729pp., 752, 754p., 838, 840, 842pp., 864, 583p., 586, 625p., 632, 677pp., 692p., 698, 700,
874, 927, 970, 1075 703, 705, 820, 905, 936, 946, 948, 967, 978, 1028,
Burdens......................28, 47, 190, 435, 489, 589 1037p., 1062, 1066, 1070, 1072
Church 36, 88, 105p., 146, 155p., 158, 197, 207, Holy Day.............................................................504
261, 340, 365, 417, 472, 488pp., 502, 504pp., Holy Spirit..23, 26, 29, 31p., 36, 46, 48, 57pp., 72,
516p., 525, 681, 702, 719p., 722, 727, 731p., 74, 86p., 90, 97p., 100pp., 108, 117, 124p.,
782p., 785pp., 836, 863, 916, 924, 926p., 929, 127pp., 152p., 161, 170, 176p., 182, 186pp., 193,
933, 963p., 970, 976pp., 990, 993 196, 201, 204, 211, 213, 219p., 225p., 268, 302,
Companion...............................................26, 843 313, 332p., 338, 363pp., 370p., 388p., 419, 433,
Freedom.....26pp., 31p., 59, 243, 263, 318, 327, 437, 448p., 457p., 460, 500, 503, 538, 564, 569,
331pp., 406, 411, 414, 450, 453, 544p., 618, 583, 586, 625p., 632, 678pp., 692p., 700, 703,
945 705, 946, 948, 967, 978, 1037, 1066, 1070, 1072
Garden of Eden..........26, 32, 151, 372, 700, 703 Honest 242, 246, 251p., 278, 421p., 424, 428, 483,
History....26, 84, 86, 120, 124, 146, 237p., 326, 517, 577, 652, 1004
328, 331, 345, 358, 377, 385, 400, 403, 409p., Honor. 31, 34pp., 150, 152pp., 160, 163, 179, 254,
414p., 418, 420, 431, 604p., 661, 692, 777, 827, 334, 403, 410pp., 416, 418, 449, 456, 577, 596p.,
920, 944, 965p. 654, 752
1090
Howard.............................597p., 835, 966, 1074pp. Jack the Ripper...................................................741

Human 68, 156, 220, 222, 268, 281, 300, 338, 347, Jacob.....................173p., 205p., 258, 578, 623, 973
349, 395, 418, 433p., 538, 543, 557, 594, 620, 625, Jake........322, 355p., 556pp., 647pp., 651pp., 655,
631p., 671, 700, 703, 742, 753, 944, 1042 718p., 721, 733, 742, 752, 756, 758, 833, 847p.,
Human beings.....................................418, 632, 753 856, 869, 886, 893p., 896, 911, 970, 982, 985, 997,
Humble......22, 32, 54, 60p., 66, 74, 108, 127, 144, 999pp., 1007, 1010p., 1013, 1015, 1017, 1019p.,
149, 155, 178, 188p., 228, 265, 268, 301, 364, 366, 1026, 1048, 1066, 1076
372, 420, 455, 515p., 570, 583, 606, 675, 677p., Jared....................................................................264
681, 753, 834, 941, 1037 Jehovah.....49, 86, 97, 157, 264, 270, 304, 542, 698
HUMBLENESS..........................................175, 502 Jeremiah..................................39, 52, 205, 487, 498
Identity......41, 66, 76, 148, 180, 389, 457, 459pp., Jesus19p., 22p., 28, 30pp., 34, 36p., 40pp., 46pp.,
478p., 483, 485, 492, 545, 603, 690, 702, 831, 935, 57pp., 63, 65pp., 73pp., 80pp., 85pp., 93, 95,
1071 103pp., 108pp., 118, 121, 128p., 144pp., 148pp.,
Ideology.42, 115pp., 168, 197, 416, 453, 457, 539, 166p., 169pp., 177, 180pp., 185pp., 193pp., 198,
581, 663, 780 201p., 204pp., 208p., 211p., 214p., 219, 221pp.,
Idols.........................................381p., 410, 630, 682 228, 260p., 265pp., 270p., 302pp., 312pp., 330,
Ignorance......46, 90, 115, 121, 162, 251, 263, 363, 333, 335p., 340p., 360, 362, 365p., 371, 391, 414,
368, 377, 385p., 413p., 462, 515, 542, 605, 617, 416, 418pp., 433p., 437p., 441, 443pp., 448pp.,
662, 697pp., 743, 940, 1003, 1064 455, 457, 459pp., 466p., 473p., 487pp., 499pp.,
Illegitimate Graves Presidency Scandal.............354 503, 505pp., 522, 524, 545p., 564, 568p., 571pp.,
Illusion.................................32, 65, 111, 514p., 663 582p., 588, 607, 625, 628, 632, 677p., 680p.,
Immigration.......................................59, 781, 788p. 686p., 689, 691pp., 695p., 698, 700pp., 705, 714,
Immigration bill..........................................781, 788 801, 820p., 835, 887, 905, 923p., 937, 941, 972,
Immoral..............................................541, 691, 736 978, 1037pp., 1062, 1068, 1070pp.
Immorality.......82, 297, 363, 539pp., 544, 577, 677 JESUS LOVES ME............................................499
Immutability.......................................................514 Jews 49, 84, 90, 92p., 158, 263, 270, 366, 398, 418,
Immutable...........................................................514 457, 459pp., 661, 1067
Impeached.......................................285, 769p., 825 John...........23p., 61, 83, 87, 89, 92, 154, 267, 289,
Inaccessible and expensive healthcare................540 292pp., 324, 360, 371, 394p., 427p., 439, 443,
Incarceration.......................................................770 451, 490, 499p., 509, 612p., 825, 1072, 1075, 1079
Independent...................46, 247, 384, 398, 718, 812 Journey..............20p., 186, 584p., 681, 703p., 1071
Inflation..............................................................540 Joy...19, 57, 168, 176, 182, 218pp., 255, 269, 313,
Insecurity....................187, 260, 435, 689, 697, 700 389, 433pp., 444, 475, 508p., 527, 629, 677, 683,
Institution............................501, 593, 747, 771, 844 704, 812, 892, 901, 1028, 1051, 1071
Institutional church.....105p., 111, 148, 157, 337p., Judge......34, 43, 49, 99, 128p., 302, 323, 330, 334,
492, 502, 504, 506, 702 473p., 570, 588, 607, 691, 812, 841p., 850
Institutionalization......................................337, 490 Julius Caesar.......................................................643
International affairs.............................................740 Just.....47, 69, 85pp., 106, 151, 195, 197, 199, 206,
Isaac.................205p., 337, 459, 578, 623, 676, 973 214p., 220, 222pp., 234, 237, 246p., 249p., 253p.,
Isaiah.....................................................73, 206, 341 261, 276p., 280p., 285, 287, 289, 291, 294, 298p.,
Isolationism........................................................544 308, 310pp., 314, 317, 324, 327, 332, 336, 344p.,
Israel....41, 73, 82pp., 91, 107, 115, 147, 180, 206, 348, 350p., 356, 358p., 362, 371, 377pp., 383pp.,
258p., 337p., 456, 487p., 523, 623 389p., 394p., 398p., 406, 411, 414, 417p., 426,
Ivanka.................................................................264 428, 431, 433, 435pp., 442, 449, 459, 480, 482,
1091
489, 492pp., 497, 500p., 504p., 511, 513pp., 517, Liberal.........................................................398, 544
526pp., 534p., 538pp., 545, 558, 564pp., 568, 575, Liberals...............................................................383
577, 580, 592, 601, 603p., 607p., 613pp., 617, Lies.23, 26pp., 34, 44p., 47, 50, 52, 55, 60, 73, 90,
642, 644, 659, 679, 686, 764p., 769, 773, 775pp., 93, 103pp., 108, 112, 115pp., 126, 129, 148, 151,
781, 913p., 931, 936, 946, 973, 975p., 980p., 162, 209, 223, 333, 399p., 412, 416p., 419, 423,
986pp., 1063 427, 449, 490, 511, 516pp., 525, 545, 568, 576pp.,
Justice....89, 261, 263, 411, 413, 577, 607, 771, 943 628, 632, 638, 662p., 670, 673, 677, 681, 689, 691,
Kari.......................................834p., 987, 989, 991p. 693, 699, 701, 703, 772, 779, 935, 1063, 1070,
Kick against the goad..........................366, 500, 692 1072
Kingdom. 20, 32p., 35, 38, 41, 46p., 51, 54pp., 58, Lieutenant Hamilton......551pp., 556pp., 647, 713,
61, 65, 68, 75, 82pp., 87p., 99p., 105, 108, 112, 748p., 1079
129, 144p., 149pp., 164, 171, 185, 190p., 194, Light. . .29p., 33, 49, 57p., 60, 75, 79, 85, 105, 118,
196, 204, 207pp., 224, 226, 228, 260p., 265, 267, 121, 124, 127, 146, 156, 158, 191, 198, 206, 212,
269, 271, 303, 305, 313p., 338, 366, 372, 415, 215, 221, 226, 253, 262, 266, 312, 321, 349, 351,
418pp., 433, 436p., 447, 464, 467, 470, 475, 490, 362, 365, 372, 389pp., 399, 412pp., 419, 449, 463,
502, 506, 513p., 516, 545p., 571, 626, 632, 671, 486, 489p., 500, 504, 506, 508, 514, 521, 527, 529,
676, 678, 681, 691, 697, 702p., 705, 832, 887, 940, 559, 571, 578p., 600, 614, 618, 629, 663, 671, 673,
992p., 1037, 1039, 1062p., 1066, 1070p. 677, 680, 682, 700p., 703p., 737, 779, 795, 829,
Kingdom of God 32p., 35, 46p., 56, 65, 82pp., 112, 869, 903, 936, 940, 1028, 1037, 1063, 1070
129, 145, 156, 158, 160p., 164, 196, 207, 209p., Limitations.......................................19, 263, 1059p.
224, 226, 265, 271, 314, 475, 490, 502, 506, 513, Loins girt about with truth..........................469, 694
571, 632, 691, 702, 714, 959, 992, 1066, 1071 Loopholes...........................................................740
Klan............................................................604, 661 Lord is my light..................................................682
Knowing how your mind works.........................583 Love. .20, 31, 33, 35, 37p., 40p., 50, 55, 57pp., 61,
Knowledge...20, 26pp., 35, 47, 118, 124, 153, 161, 64, 66p., 69, 71p., 75, 82p., 87, 97, 100, 103,
166, 190p., 206, 215, 330, 332p., 363, 365, 370p., 107p., 119, 126, 128, 145, 150, 152p., 155pp.,
413, 444, 458, 468, 488, 570, 579, 582, 589, 736, 160pp., 167p., 170, 172, 174, 176, 179pp., 185,
749, 755, 770, 826, 939, 947, 1060, 1069 188pp., 194pp., 198, 201, 206p., 211, 213, 215pp.,
Ku Klux Klan......................................................661 221p., 226p., 251, 257p., 262, 264p., 268, 270p.,
LABEL...................41, 83, 209, 401, 576, 588, 632 294, 301p., 304, 328, 330, 333pp., 360, 362pp.,
Lack of moral compass.......................................541 366p., 371p., 389, 394, 405p., 411, 415, 417, 429,
Laws of nature............................512, 657, 662, 667 433pp., 444, 446, 449, 451, 454, 456, 458, 463p.,
Lead by EXAMPLE...........................................503 467, 475p., 490, 492, 498p., 501pp., 506, 508p.,
Leadership.............................................45, 331, 577 517, 524p., 528, 536, 540, 544pp., 554, 564pp.,
Learning How To Endure...................................588 572p., 575p., 578pp., 583, 585pp., 603, 607, 625,
Left....199, 240, 262, 269, 275, 277, 294, 317, 337, 627p., 630p., 638p., 644, 655, 670, 676, 678pp.,
350, 355, 357, 365, 378, 404, 445, 488, 495, 525, 689, 691, 695pp., 700, 703pp., 738, 743, 752pp.,
528, 544, 584, 618, 661, 672, 686, 693, 742, 754, 758, 762, 766, 768, 776p., 786, 796, 802, 804, 809,
766, 779, 781, 783, 793, 805, 813, 822, 825, 833, 811p., 830, 832, 834p., 840, 864, 866, 869, 883pp.,
842, 861, 896p., 900, 902, 909, 911, 946, 963, 967, 887, 890pp., 909, 921, 925, 931p., 935, 940, 947,
986, 1025 964, 967p., 973, 981, 1004, 1028pp., 1032p.,
Legislature..........................................542, 629, 914 1036, 1039, 1045, 1047, 1051, 1055p., 1062p.,
Leon Childress..........................................608, 1078 1067p., 1070p.
Leverage...................................291, 393, 825, 1062 Love unconditionally............................75, 195, 830
1092
Lower security prison camps..............................770 70pp., 74, 101, 108, 118pp., 128p., 134p., 137,
Luke......................................80, 216, 341, 466, 573 159, 190, 201, 215, 219, 442, 448, 455, 502, 506,
Lust.......................................................28, 703, 762 677p., 697, 702, 705, 948, 953, 958
Lying....79, 96pp., 102, 119p., 242, 268, 289, 405, Minister.............62, 152p., 376, 505, 517, 525, 606
418, 422, 480, 511, 517p., 540, 664, 745, 765, 767, Minorities......................................89, 333, 398, 661
780, 887, 891, 901, 977, 981, 1068 Minority..............................299, 618, 631p., 1063p.
Mad Hatter..........................................................519 Miriam...........237, 244pp., 282, 284pp., 295, 309,
Mad Hatter's..........................292, 325p., 386, 1079 322pp., 328, 343, 350, 354, 357, 407, 479pp., 511,
Madhatter............................................................482 513, 518, 529p., 533, 548pp., 556pp., 591pp., 599,
Marc Antony.......................................................643 606, 635p., 646p., 655, 709, 713, 718pp., 724,
Marine.................................233, 652, 718, 733, 918 729, 732, 741p., 747pp., 752p., 755pp., 764, 833,
Marines.......................................650, 654, 742, 756 841, 901, 927p., 936, 968, 970, 1066, 1075p.,
Mark..................91, 210, 268, 335p., 341, 476, 714 1078p.
Martin.................331p., 719, 733, 748p., 911, 1076 Money laundered................................................771
Mary........................................................433p., 444 Money laundering.....................293, 378, 739, 1059
Master....44p., 49, 58, 75, 101, 116, 159, 169, 171, Monroe. .79, 288, 401, 423, 427, 661, 669, 671pp.,
473, 491pp., 502, 518, 578, 600, 663, 671p., 696, 1078
941, 946 Moral conduct.....................................................577
Matthew 33, 38, 45, 48p., 52, 56, 60pp., 77, 84, 91, Moral Decay.......................................................672
129, 144, 154, 164, 209, 260, 271, 340p., 441, 445, Moral laws..........................................................662
454, 486, 490, 498, 695p. Morality...................................................541p., 577
Maturity..............................204, 371, 434, 455, 679 More than conquerors...............................625, 1062
Media. 45, 93, 117, 245p., 253, 270, 290, 401, 403, MORE THAN CONQUERS..............................701
424, 427, 482, 673, 709, 720, 729, 780, 830, 920, Moscow......................................................352, 612
943p. Moses.................86, 157, 205p., 210, 460, 623, 673
Mega-church.......................................................720 MOVERS and SHAKERS..........................193, 701
Members 108, 145, 153, 159, 202, 249p., 431, 491, Mr. Shale.............................................................293
502, 504, 517, 548, 632, 720, 724, 732, 739, 741, Multinational conglomerates..............................753
780, 932p., 946, 964, 1003, 1057 Murphy's Law.......................................656p., 666p.
Membership.....................................................500p. Muslims......................263, 270, 418, 457, 661, 743
Memorial Day.....................................................409 Narcissistic personality.......................................511
Mental. 19, 234, 254, 275, 343, 515, 532, 585, 587, NARM.............................................397p., 401, 404
593, 605, 749, 897, 906 Natalie.....519, 724pp., 729p., 732p., 737, 747pp.,
Mentally disabled................................................747 766, 911pp., 1079
Mercy.........30p., 90, 100, 107, 110, 127, 158, 183, Natalie Tiledeler. 519, 724p., 727, 729p., 732, 737,
190p., 208, 235, 257, 260, 263, 268, 317, 333, 364, 747p., 766, 914p., 1079
371, 388, 416, 579, 683, 700, 714, 820, 834p., 887, Nation. .44, 46, 82, 88, 108, 115pp., 243, 269, 308,
941, 966p., 982, 1000, 1018, 1036, 1038, 1040, 385, 403, 409, 411p., 415pp., 459, 544, 577, 627,
1064 630p., 642, 672, 676, 689, 691, 773, 780, 827, 834,
Messenger...........................................303, 503, 507 1075
Messianic Jew.............................................461, 671 National politics..................................................623
Method........................189, 394, 506, 543, 753, 942 Nationalism.........................................404, 544, 631
Methods................................28, 190, 482, 542, 622 Nationalist...........................................................699
Mind of Christ........22, 32, 46pp., 53, 55, 64, 66p., Neighbor......33, 55, 97, 258, 270, 462p., 506, 540,
1093
569p., 576, 700, 862, 1066 698, 733, 791p., 810, 821, 832, 835, 869, 890pp.,
Neighbors 59, 262, 268, 404, 453, 475, 503, 541p., 906, 908, 930, 944, 967, 971, 1015, 1019, 1022,
701, 1062 1028, 1036, 1039, 1044, 1046p., 1050p., 1065
Neighbour.................................476, 488, 696, 1039 Panic attacks.......................................................772
New thing...................431, 436, 489pp., 500p., 697 Parents.....37, 58, 92, 168, 270, 280, 308, 365, 411,
No man is an island, no man stands alone..........544 434p., 594, 601p., 646, 720, 754, 957, 959, 966,
Nondenominational church.................................719 984, 1032, 1034, 1076
Normal life......................306p., 311p., 314pp., 606 Partisanism..........................................................631
North Korea......289, 374, 376, 403, 624, 826, 1059 Partitions.............................................538, 545, 564
North Koreans.....................................289, 374, 403 Pastor.....124p., 127, 153, 500, 505, 662, 787, 916,
Nurse practitioner.....................668, 833, 906, 1020 924pp., 937, 943, 945, 963pp., 969pp., 973pp.,
Obamacare..........................................................543 992, 1077
Obedience. .37, 58, 103, 175, 177, 179, 181, 207p., Pastor Allen. 787, 916, 925pp., 934, 937, 943, 945,
416, 458, 468, 493, 518, 579, 679, 703, 1069 950pp., 960, 963pp., 969pp., 973p., 976pp., 1077
Obstructed justice...............................................771 Pastor Fitzgerald......................927, 951, 977p., 992
Occupation..........................................................625 Pastors.........................................152, 161, 487, 491
Of the world. .28, 40pp., 46p., 49, 52, 57, 65p., 71, Patriotism............................................................582
82p., 88, 97, 116, 145p., 152, 154p., 157, 171, 182, Paul......47, 83, 90, 100p., 121, 124, 152, 156, 160,
201, 207, 209pp., 224, 299, 302p., 313pp., 330, 303, 364, 468, 503, 507, 1069
335, 367, 415, 419p., 445, 455, 488pp., 514, 524, Pavithra.............................................1052pp., 1078
623, 632, 672, 678, 682, 691, 697, 702, 756, 947, Peace...19p., 39pp., 56, 75, 176pp., 188, 202, 218,
1064, 1068, 1070p. 227, 262, 269, 304p., 315p., 322, 390, 397, 403,
Offices of authority.............................................577 406, 411p., 420, 433, 438, 444, 469, 475, 523, 583,
Old man...22, 169, 243, 450, 604, 608, 625p., 659, 589, 607, 688p., 694, 704, 812, 900, 907, 925, 984,
715, 840, 849, 862, 884 1003, 1036, 1047p., 1066
Oligarchs.....................................................326, 740 Penal system...............................................769, 772
ONE.....32, 46pp., 154, 158p., 172, 200, 262, 266, Pence...................................................................264
271, 338, 416p., 458p., 461, 503, 632, 819p. People of color....................................617, 689, 743
Only human........................................434, 632, 700 People's candidate...............................777, 831, 834
Oppressed.................................404, 544, 852, 1063 People's Republic of the United States Armed
Oppression..............28, 331p., 467, 630, 699p., 704 Forces (PRUSAF)...............................................397
Oppressors..........................................................544 PERFECT in love. . .67, 75, 211, 215, 219, 417, 490
Organization.......................253, 403, 482, 500, 502 Perfect man.....................................47, 83, 161, 607
Organized crime bosses......................................740 Pharisee.....42, 83p., 109pp., 153, 157p., 366, 414,
Outsourcing........................................................540 416, 488
Overcome...449, 491, 500, 523p., 546, 564, 568p., Philippians..........................................177, 462, 768
618, 1028, 1062, 1065 Philistine...............................................73, 456, 578
OVERCOMING.................................410, 491, 500 Physical..19p., 27, 30, 37, 175, 178, 181, 317, 411,
Overdosing..........................................................542 444, 512, 538p., 569, 605, 657, 667, 772, 843, 906,
Overindulgence...................................431, 544, 699 908
Pain 64, 108, 111, 166p., 170, 187, 197p., 219, 222, Physical law................................................657, 667
297, 300, 303, 346, 389, 395, 397, 406, 438, 446, Physics................................................657, 662, 667
467, 517, 528, 531, 539, 551p., 557p., 564, 568, Political beliefs.............................................64, 582
571p., 576, 606, 617, 631, 638, 664, 670, 685pp., Political climate..........................377, 386, 412, 631
1094
Politically correct..................................88, 472, 670 Prescription medications.....................................542

Polls............................................400, 788, 805, 946 President. .44, 116, 254, 266, 268p., 285, 344, 350,
Polonius..............................................................537 352, 358p., 376, 379, 385, 398, 417, 426, 428, 536,
Pope.........................................................642, 826p. 542p., 599, 601, 603, 624p., 631, 642, 661, 709,
Population.............................67, 432, 540, 771, 773 720, 726, 747, 769p., 772, 787, 806, 826p., 842,
Populist...............................................................697 850, 870, 895, 913, 919, 928, 966, 992, 1033,
Populists......................................................402, 418 1059, 1064
POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT........................435 Presidential candidate.......................764, 787, 1076
Poverty..........92, 209, 222, 399, 418, 540, 568, 630 Pride32, 54, 64, 67p., 96, 99, 108, 169pp., 187pp.,
Power......28, 31p., 45p., 49, 55pp., 59, 68, 72, 77, 291p., 301, 304, 330, 332, 339, 363pp., 371p.,
88p., 99, 108, 117, 128, 160, 164, 170p., 175, 189, 385p., 400, 412pp., 424, 490, 502p., 505, 515,
194, 202, 206, 208, 210pp., 215p., 220, 243, 249, 542, 577, 581pp., 588, 605p., 619, 621, 632, 672,
253, 260, 262, 264pp., 268, 270, 281, 291p., 301, 674p., 680pp., 687, 689p., 692p., 697pp., 703p.,
304, 314, 316, 331p., 383, 387p., 391, 395, 402, 740, 893, 928, 940p., 956pp., 973, 1036, 1073
417, 448, 457, 463, 466, 469, 513, 515, 518, 533, Priests....................................................37, 487, 523
544, 564p., 569pp., 573, 577pp., 581, 583, 589, Prince of Lies..............................116, 511, 578, 632
625p., 641, 671, 673, 687, 693, 742, 753, 779, 921, Principalities......................43p., 469, 501, 578, 694
939, 945, 968, 1064, 1074 Prison.........................................763p., 769pp., 852
Powers...............................43p., 190, 469, 501, 694 Prison riots..........................................................771
Pray 22, 32, 39, 42, 55p., 75, 158, 161, 188p., 191, Privilege.....19, 57, 263, 431, 437, 697, 699p., 704,
221, 228, 265, 271, 311, 339, 388, 420, 448, 472, 744, 958
476, 527, 545, 570, 675, 704p., 743, 753, 765, 768, Privilege without holiness...................................958
887, 933p., 965, 967, 1004, 1071 Progressive..................................................433, 544
Prayed. 40, 160, 163, 205, 524, 528, 554, 766, 810, PRUSAF..........................................397p., 401, 404
832, 924, 946 Psalm90, 94, 103, 110, 113, 117p., 130, 173, 175p.,
Prayer..21, 108, 126, 145, 171, 177, 179, 219, 226, 313, 319, 439, 450p., 674, 681p.
312, 438, 470, 472, 557, 694, 768, 785, 832, 948, Psychosomatic....................................................772
965, 980 Psychotropic drugs.............................................772
Prayer2................................................................446 PUPPET......................................328, 384, 413, 428
Praying......33, 58, 75, 80, 108, 115, 168, 171, 221, Purifying fire.......................................................617
270, 311, 371, 463p., 470, 472, 694, 800p., 1035, Putin.117, 289pp., 373pp., 384p., 402, 414, 427p.,
1037 624, 642, 673, 699, 736, 741, 772, 921, 943, 1003
Preach....................49, 110, 363, 457, 502, 505, 507 Quality of life....................................436, 540, 1071
Pregnancy.431, 433pp., 437, 442, 448, 812, 832p., Quantum mechanics....................................657, 667
838, 906p., 932, 941p., 963, 966, 970 Race. .120, 181, 307, 325, 333, 416, 426, 431, 433,
Pregnant......430p., 434, 436, 440, 444, 448p., 604, 513, 543, 600, 604, 607, 618, 621, 648, 661, 670p.,
801, 803, 806, 819pp., 838, 882p., 906, 929, 931, 673, 691, 702, 750, 781, 789, 806, 1003
934, 941pp., 946, 977, 999, 1031p., 1051 Race relations..............................................604, 781
Prejudice......115, 199, 251, 385, 414, 542pp., 661, Rachel....307pp., 313, 316pp., 323, 347, 349, 351,
691, 700, 812, 932 356, 377p., 405, 485, 513pp., 518, 521p., 524pp.,
Prejudiced.....................................42, 241, 417, 581 536, 551, 553p., 556, 601p., 606, 709, 727,
Prejudices....................................................262, 619 729pp., 733, 749, 758pp., 764p., 767pp., 775pp.,
PREPARE THE SAINTS...................................507 781pp., 785pp., 791pp., 800p., 803pp., 808pp.,
Preprogrammed...................................................512 819pp., 823, 829pp., 835, 838, 860, 865, 875,
1095
882pp., 891p., 901pp., 909, 924p., 928pp., 932p., 111, 128, 148p., 166, 181, 187, 189, 389, 454p.,
935p., 942, 946pp., 950pp., 963pp., 992p., 462, 473, 702, 711, 766, 894, 945
996pp., 1001p., 1005, 1007, 1010pp., 1014pp., Resist and persist....39, 45, 47pp., 56, 59, 63p., 70,
1019pp., 1036p., 1042pp., 1047p., 1055pp., 1066, 93, 107p., 111, 128, 148p., 166, 187, 189, 454,
1075pp. 462, 473, 702
Rachel Montgomery......729, 765, 787, 792p., 929, Respect..38, 43, 60, 67, 76, 90, 126, 128, 145, 150,
942, 956, 963, 966, 977 153, 159, 179p., 195, 215, 253, 347, 461, 554, 577,
Racial diversity...................................................635 631, 636, 639, 649p., 679, 718, 742, 752, 811, 819,
Racism........................540, 576, 631, 640, 851, 857 835, 965, 968, 974, 1018p., 1032, 1039p.
Racists...................................................88, 581, 921 Responsibility.....83, 152, 209, 226, 243, 262, 311,
Rape....................................125, 398, 599, 704, 966 472, 501p., 526, 592, 630, 770, 928, 943, 974,
Rapes...................................................................604 1034
Real estate...........................................................293 Restoration108, 144, 147, 157, 159, 161, 280, 344,
Reborn....19p., 23, 27, 30, 66, 74, 151p., 155, 193, 404, 444, 692, 702, 912, 915, 1067
268, 302, 524, 1072 Revelation.....................92, 156, 262, 371, 578, 582
Red General..............................292, 345, 379, 1078 Ricardo.................................1017, 1020p., 1024pp.
Relationship23, 26, 34p., 41, 49, 51, 60, 68, 73, 82, Richard..................................748p., 752, 754, 1076
93, 103, 105, 108, 111p., 121, 129, 157, 162, Richard Graves..............................748p., 752, 1076
167p., 175, 180, 182, 187, 190, 195pp., 206pp., Righteous. .40, 60, 82, 89, 107, 117, 120, 158, 180,
211pp., 215, 224, 297p., 311, 330, 362, 365p., 385, 201, 257, 263p., 269, 458, 523, 542, 570p., 581,
413, 415pp., 419, 454p., 457p., 461, 470, 506, 672, 936p., 940
524, 526, 546, 565, 576, 581, 646, 648, 679, 692, Righteously.......................................161, 584, 1038
700, 753, 762, 789, 811, 821, 843, 901p., 909, Righteousness 31pp., 59p., 64, 66, 70, 72p., 84, 97,
973p., 1067, 1072 100, 110, 120, 128, 158, 171, 174p., 177, 179, 183,
Relationship with God......105, 108, 168, 180, 207, 205, 210p., 215p., 220, 226, 258pp., 298, 313,
213, 413, 415pp., 419, 454p., 458, 470, 506, 524, 331, 333, 364, 370, 411, 415, 444, 455, 464, 467,
581, 692, 700, 762, 901 469, 473, 475, 541, 565, 578, 581, 607, 678, 693p.,
Relationships 40, 60, 63, 67p., 75p., 170, 187, 189, 697, 701, 704, 887, 966, 1037, 1068
194, 196p., 199, 201, 211p., 215p., 297p., 300, Rights without righteousness..............................958
362, 436, 506, 528, 704, 821, 927 Rituals. . .37, 40, 106, 111, 149, 155, 157, 178, 182,
Religion. 34, 93, 106, 111, 158, 179, 206, 259, 330, 337, 412, 489, 500, 702, 1066
414pp., 457pp., 473, 487, 581p., 621, 691, 1066 Role models..........................................84, 698, 703
Religious. 42, 45, 278, 297, 435, 461, 472, 576, 581 Romans.....49, 52, 81, 95, 104, 159, 367, 473, 501,
Religious decrees................................................581 509, 643, 695
Religious people.................................................581 Root......................212, 297, 505p., 542, 689p., 692
REMNANT................................................107, 490 Russia. 291p., 325, 358, 374pp., 383pp., 402, 426,
Repent......32, 84p., 87, 204, 264p., 268, 420, 515, 624, 771, 825, 827, 1059
546, 570, 572, 1037 Russia investigations..........................................827
Republican.......46, 119, 379, 398, 400p., 628, 826, Russian 116, 290, 293, 325p., 352, 375p., 378, 383,
1078 386, 402, 594, 740, 771, 919p., 1059
Republican Party...............................379, 826, 1078 Russian operatives..............................................293
Republicans....119, 263, 270, 289, 383p., 397, 400, Russians. .288p., 291p., 294, 325, 352, 358, 384p.,
404, 417, 422pp., 427, 628, 642 401, 535, 919p., 1003
Resist. 39, 44p., 47pp., 56, 59, 63p., 70, 93, 107p., Sadducee....83p., 111p., 153, 157p., 366, 414, 416,
1096
488 Shepherd.......57, 69, 110, 149, 153, 169, 338, 455,

Saints 47p., 152, 161, 338, 363, 370, 457, 463, 470, 491pp., 503, 662, 702, 941, 947
472, 507, 694 Shepherds............................................159, 332, 496
Salvation. 36, 82p., 100, 111, 155, 366p., 457, 459, Shield of faith.............................................469, 694
469, 515, 607, 625, 682p., 694, 1067 Simple Gifts........................................566, 575, 580
Satan.20, 26pp., 31p., 47, 54, 68, 93, 98, 101, 124, Simply human.....................................620, 625, 703
155, 166, 169, 171, 187, 189, 211, 220, 303, 314p., Sin 25pp., 30pp., 36p., 41, 46, 63, 66p., 81pp., 91,
371, 416, 445, 462, 511, 515, 568, 572p., 631, 663, 93, 95, 100pp., 104pp., 111, 115, 117pp., 128, 151,
671, 673, 687, 690, 693, 1002, 1063p., 1066 156, 171, 180, 182, 196p., 210, 225, 260, 264, 268,
Scandal................................................354, 358, 379 303, 363, 435, 449, 460, 475p., 488p., 500,
Science........................................623, 657, 662, 667 504pp., 514, 516, 546, 568, 570pp., 578, 582, 625,
Scientific law..............................................657, 667 632, 675, 679, 681, 692p., 696, 702, 704, 764, 971,
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES.....24, 38, 52, 77, 94, 1040, 1063
103, 113, 122, 130, 164, 228, 271, 319, 341, 372, Sinners..................................................41, 216, 491
439, 451, 465, 477, 498, 509 Slavery........................258, 411, 418, 431, 604, 704
Season.........................................227, 412, 507, 537 Social internet sites.............................................772
Second sight........................................................538 Social unrest........................................................541
Seek my face.......................................................675 Social welfare.....................................383, 541, 543
Seek ye my face..........................................674, 683 Socialist......................................................376, 544
SELF REFLECTION..23, 34, 50, 73, 93, 103, 112, Societies...........................120, 193, 222, 539p., 544
121, 129, 162, 1072 Society......51, 88, 93, 106, 119p., 193p., 222, 259,
Self-entitlement...........................................542, 582 400, 410, 417, 432p., 435, 512, 514pp., 539pp.,
Self-fulfilling prophecy......................................442 565, 572, 576p., 583, 702, 773, 944p.
Self-medicating...................................................542 Socioeconomic....................................539, 569, 945
Self-preservation.................................485, 544, 692 Socioeconomic status..................................539, 945
Self-righteous......................................201, 570, 581 Solar............................................................753, 939
Self-righteousness...............................259, 541, 581 Soldiers of the cross..........................462, 632, 1068
Self-satisfaction..................................................544 Son of man....................................91, 148, 313, 490
Selfishness....67, 96, 194, 243, 328, 363, 414, 541, Soul. .54pp., 58, 66, 71p., 110, 174, 210, 219, 271,
544, 677, 699, 834, 921, 1047, 1050 298, 303, 327, 388, 413, 442, 444, 446, 448, 463,
Semper Fidelis.........................................645p., 655 476, 480, 507p., 581, 696, 930, 935, 1037p.
Semper Fidelis, always faithful...............645p., 655 Souls...........................339, 365, 399, 486, 506, 704
Senate Majority Leader.......................................826 South America....................................................646
Servants 29, 73, 92, 152p., 155, 157, 213, 345, 366, Southern Confederate Soldiers...........................409
471, 501pp., 507, 518, 541, 577 Special Counsel.......................................384p., 427
Serve and protect................................................577 Special Prosecutor.................................770p., 1079
Shaker community in Alfred, Maine. .566, 575, 580 Spirit20, 23, 26pp., 31pp., 35p., 46, 48, 55, 57pp.,
Shame......27, 36, 64, 96, 98, 108p., 196, 264, 293, 64, 72, 74, 86p., 90p., 97p., 100pp., 108, 111p.,
304, 337, 434p., 450, 496, 498, 504, 506, 518, 584, 117, 124p., 127pp., 148, 152p., 158pp., 163, 170,
588p., 642, 670, 690, 733, 766, 796, 890p., 902, 176p., 182, 185pp., 193, 196, 201, 204p., 211, 213,
927p., 930, 946, 972, 989 218pp., 223, 225p., 262, 265, 268, 302, 312p.,
Sheep....30, 41, 57p., 69, 83, 156p., 159, 171, 332, 316, 330, 332p., 336, 338, 363pp., 370pp., 388pp.,
339, 415p., 419, 455, 491pp., 502p., 506, 941, 399, 414, 419, 431, 433, 437, 441pp., 446, 448pp.,
947p. 457p., 460, 470pp., 500, 502p., 507p., 523, 527,
1097
538, 545, 564, 569, 583, 586, 625p., 632, 677pp., Surrender.........28, 55, 71p., 75, 97, 149, 172, 188,
692pp., 697, 700, 703, 705, 946, 948, 967, 978, 201p., 204, 213, 265p., 268, 270, 301, 315, 371,
1037, 1066, 1070, 1072 391, 450, 681, 973, 1004, 1013, 1066
Spiritual......23, 26, 30, 33pp., 38, 44, 51, 56, 67p., Sword of God......................................................579
73p., 93, 103, 105, 112, 121, 129, 162, 170, 181, Sword of the Spirit......................................469, 694
193, 197, 204p., 211, 219, 222, 312, 364, 370p., Tanya.....237pp., 275, 278, 280, 282, 287p., 294p.,
469, 471pp., 511, 526, 538p., 569, 616, 622p., 632, 309p., 317, 324pp., 343pp., 351, 354, 356p., 359,
662, 675, 677, 694, 904p., 908, 948, 969, 971, 374, 377p., 382, 393pp., 397, 399, 401, 405pp.,
1072 422pp., 479, 518, 522, 528pp., 548, 591pp., 599,
Spiritual being38, 74, 205, 219, 371, 538, 622, 632, 601, 612, 614p., 635pp., 646pp., 655, 665, 668,
675 670pp., 709p., 718, 729, 733, 735pp., 743pp.,
Spiritual wickedness.............................44, 469, 694 756pp., 769, 825, 833, 892, 895pp., 901, 909, 911,
Spiritually.....28, 52, 204, 209, 222, 338, 433, 435, 917p., 921p., 926pp., 936, 968, 970, 982, 986p.,
470, 503, 506, 569, 670, 858, 909, 969 990pp., 1002, 1004p., 1058pp., 1066, 1075,
Stability.......................116, 295, 298, 316, 543, 577 1077pp.
Status 31, 68p., 76, 150, 153p., 197, 209, 225, 236, Tares............................................................158, 491
298, 303, 377, 415, 447, 512, 539, 544, 582, 618, Tax breaks...................................................541, 780
621, 625, 635, 677, 764, 927, 945, 980 Tax fraud.....................................................378, 771
Steadfast love..............................................180, 583 Teach.....31, 59, 110, 119, 126, 149, 152, 156, 179,
Steal, kill, and destroy........................................540 182, 186, 190, 204, 214, 261, 265, 364, 410, 466,
Stein..................................................591, 719, 1078 488, 495, 497, 683, 692, 702, 811, 821, 887, 940,
Stereotypical Black person.................618, 628, 630 1037p.
Steve......322, 355p., 556pp., 647pp., 651pp., 655, Teacher........126p., 153, 232, 363, 583, 1034, 1077
718p., 721, 733, 742, 752, 756, 758, 833, 841, 856, Temple.......36, 38, 110, 158, 179, 226, 337p., 365,
869, 886, 896, 911, 970, 982, 997, 1000, 1042, 444p., 447, 523, 683
1047p., 1066, 1076 Temples...............................................338, 490, 830
Stock exchange...................................................764 Terror................................................630, 900, 1025
Stock market.......................................................818 Terrorism.............................................630, 699, 704
Strength.....64, 72, 146, 173p., 188, 212, 216, 220, Tested.......................................................582p., 618
226, 249, 262, 270, 294, 331, 334, 358, 394, 403, The Daily 231, 280, 287, 295, 307, 310p., 318, 322,
435, 476, 544, 564, 589, 635, 641, 659, 682, 741, 355, 377, 526, 550p., 553p., 647, 653, 729, 731,
766, 800, 893, 907p., 969, 1037, 1047 749, 765, 767, 769, 771, 788, 792pp., 804, 830p.,
Strengthen. 175, 191, 228, 333, 377, 471, 585, 681, 929, 933, 941p., 963, 971, 977, 1077
684, 688p., 697, 887 The Helper..................................152, 507, 583, 703
Strengths.....................................................194, 587 The New Alternative Republicans Militia (NARM)
Struggle.......27, 182, 436, 446, 539, 638, 783, 944, ............................................................................397
1021 The Queen...............................288, 292, 294, 671p.
Struggling. 194, 204, 221, 290, 326, 397, 435, 450, The Tribune.............................................767p., 793
545, 588, 637, 689, 718, 832, 905, 1019 The Vine......32, 170, 228, 271, 315, 338, 364, 411,
Stumbling block....................31, 474, 506, 564, 588 447, 449, 459pp., 507p., 680p., 1068
Submit......23, 34, 51, 72p., 94, 103, 108, 112, 122, The War Room...................................396p., 399pp.
130, 149, 163, 189, 317, 507, 676, 941, 1072 Theodore W........................................................591
Suicide...........................221, 535p., 542, 704, 1057 Theodore Wellington.....591, 593, 604, 608p., 646,
Suppressed..........................................................544 753pp., 833, 841, 1078
1098
Thy Will Be Done.......................260, 340, 704, 836 638, 700, 834, 909, 940, 947, 973, 1036, 1051,
To thine own self be true. .537, 563, 567, 575, 580, 1062, 1068
616, 620, 627, 632 Under siege.........................................................625
Tranquility............................................................19 Unemployment...................................................540
Transformed...78p., 155, 185, 229p., 273p., 279p., Unhealthy..............................67, 200, 202, 431, 507
306p., 320p., 342p., 353p., 373p., 381p., 392p., Unholiness............................................36, 225, 692
396p., 421p., 478p., 510p., 520p., 547p., 555p., Unite the Right incident......................................669
590p., 610p., 634p., 645p., 656p., 666p., 706p., United States.42, 44, 254, 285, 289, 291, 325, 359,
717p., 723p., 728p., 734p., 746p., 751p., 763p., 384p., 397, 416, 418, 426, 624, 629, 661, 699, 778,
774, 784p., 790, 799p., 807p., 815p., 824p., 828p., 806, 826, 831, 966
837, 846p., 854p., 862, 881p., 889p., 904p., 910p., Unrighteousness..........................................186, 692
923p., 938p., 962p., 983p., 994p., 1006p., 1018p., Uproot.................................................................505
1041p., 1061p. Utopian...............................................................516
Trials and temptations...............191, 438, 697, 1062 Veil.......................27, 37, 148p., 180, 492, 515, 702
Trials and tribulations....188, 219p., 471, 527, 967, Venezuela..........................................646, 720, 1059
1038 Vessel...20, 55p., 74, 127, 149, 174, 219, 226, 291,
Trickle down.......................................................543 472, 678
Triune God,.........................................................632 Vessels...........................33, 153, 213, 366, 523, 577
TRUE WORSHIPPERS.............................462, 500 Victim..........68, 76, 125, 541, 637p., 687, 690, 692
Trump....51, 117, 119p., 264p., 270, 414, 416, 624, Victory......20, 43, 54, 58, 155, 159, 200, 223, 271,
628, 630, 699 282, 412, 568, 571, 578, 588, 796, 1004
TRUMPISM.......................................................631 Vince...................719, 733, 748p., 911, 914p., 1076
Trust41p., 97, 119, 145, 149, 156, 158p., 175, 189, Vine.....32, 170, 228, 271, 315, 338, 364, 411, 447,
201, 251, 258, 301, 303, 311, 316, 335, 337, 404, 449, 459pp., 507p., 680p., 1068
427, 449, 455, 458, 532, 538, 577, 585, 591, 593, Violence........45, 63, 115, 400, 403, 540, 565, 568,
612, 652, 654, 681, 686, 691p., 702, 730, 742, 762, 576p., 631, 689, 692, 700, 703, 827, 1064
809, 823, 831, 841, 892, 895, 913, 918p., 925, 931, Vladimir Putin............................................736, 772
936, 940p., 947, 977, 981, 993, 997p., 1000, 1037, Voice. .49, 54, 57p., 70, 75, 83, 101, 127, 149, 173,
1066, 1069 179, 181, 195, 219, 230, 240, 287p., 312, 318, 323,
Truth 32, 44pp., 65, 72, 84, 96pp., 107, 111p., 115, 340, 343, 346, 350p., 365, 386pp., 393p., 403p.,
118, 125, 145, 158, 162, 190, 197, 199pp., 204, 428, 495, 497, 526, 528, 559, 591, 618, 647, 683,
209, 211, 223p., 226, 257, 263, 266, 268, 270p., 702, 724, 727, 738, 758, 766, 785, 820, 884, 895,
316, 325, 343, 360, 362, 365pp., 372, 382, 399p., 901, 944p., 975, 987p., 993, 996, 1012, 1019,
403, 410pp., 417, 440, 444, 447, 449, 455, 458p., 1021, 1035, 1037, 1045, 1068
467, 469, 480, 500, 503, 505, 507, 511, 513pp., Voter fraud..........................................................780
569, 571, 577pp., 581, 623, 632, 663, 671, 673, Vulnerable...................182, 526, 631, 642, 692, 740
682, 694, 697p., 701, 703p., 744, 834, 920, 932, Walking by faith.........................................538, 940
937, 939, 963, 981, 1038, 1064, 1066, 1070 War........63, 82, 101, 115, 197, 221, 225, 227, 262,
Two-edged Sword...............................................507 290p., 293, 308, 315, 344, 359, 375p., 396pp.,
Unaccountable.............................................311, 699 405p., 411p., 452, 467p., 470p., 520p., 535, 540,
Unaffordable education......................................540 579, 601, 630, 642, 655, 683, 699, 704, 733, 741,
Unblinded...........................................................501 756, 780p., 811, 826, 833, 895, 997, 1004p., 1033,
Unconditional love........33, 61, 119, 188, 213, 219, 1063, 1069, 1074
257p., 270, 364, 371, 434, 463, 506, 565, 572p., Warden Zachary Keiler.......................................773
1099
Warfare. .101, 312, 468, 470p., 473, 577, 579, 625, Willard Graves599, 604, 638, 665, 669, 712p., 715,
736, 948, 1004, 1068p. 732, 769pp., 779p., 850, 870, 895, 913, 920, 928,
Watchman...................................................348, 591 943, 992, 1074pp., 1078p.
Weakness. .172, 181, 262, 270, 288, 364, 438, 589, William.............................537, 643, 752, 754, 1076
624, 632, 681, 906 William Graves.................................752, 754, 1076
Weaknesses 175, 182, 443, 515, 587, 625, 700, 739, William Shakespeare..................................537, 643
1004 Windmill.............................................................753
Wellington.....591pp., 595pp., 600, 603pp., 608p., Wisdom......31, 50, 170, 190p., 208, 261, 305, 329,
646, 658, 719, 752pp., 833, 841, 843p., 928, 1078 340, 370, 413, 435, 491, 564, 581, 671, 823, 864,
Wellington, Gallegos, Childress and Stein.......591, 887, 909
1078 Word of God21, 40, 42, 45, 56, 60, 88pp., 92, 105,
Western alliance..................................................826 111, 117, 120, 128, 145, 153pp., 157, 160, 170,
Wheat..........................................................158, 491 185, 202, 223, 226, 268, 331, 340, 365, 368, 444,
Wheland Watermill................................770p., 1079 453, 455, 470, 505, 507p., 572, 579, 582, 673, 682,
White collar crime..............................................736 694, 702, 948, 966, 1062, 1065
White House. .289, 325, 379, 382, 401, 422, 424p., Workaholics........................................................753
428, 672, 699, 709p., 742, 805, 831, 1057 World War III..............................................642, 826
White supremacists.............................398, 699, 827 Worship....36p., 112, 156, 158, 207, 291, 372, 410,
White supremacy................................................661 414, 445, 457pp., 472, 489, 500, 505, 526, 528,
White-collar crime prisons.................................770 630, 691, 785, 1064
Whole......28, 46, 48, 146, 162, 170, 206, 210, 230, Worship in SPIRIT and in TRUTH...112, 158, 372,
232, 305, 312, 315p., 328, 343, 367, 401, 413, 416, 500
432, 469, 491, 505, 546, 605, 663, 671, 693p., 697, Yeshua.....22, 60, 66, 191, 304, 419, 444, 449, 459,
759, 793, 796, 852, 856p., 870, 936, 963, 969, 999, 1062
1040, 1042 Yield to temptation.............................................958
Whole armour of God.................................469, 694 Yoke......................................92, 263, 486, 489, 508
Will29, 40, 51, 55p., 58, 60, 66, 71p., 75, 82p., 88, Zenobia....529pp., 591, 614p., 653, 665, 668, 671,
102, 108, 120p., 125, 129, 146, 148p., 153, 155, 707pp., 711p., 714, 719, 737p., 745, 757p.,
159, 179, 185pp., 200, 202, 204, 207, 209, 214p., 800pp., 814, 816pp., 832p., 835, 838pp., 848,
219p., 224p., 228, 260, 265, 270, 298, 305, 333p., 882p., 885p., 890pp., 896, 900pp., 906pp., 931,
340, 371, 390, 414, 418p., 433pp., 447, 473, 935, 968pp., 974, 981p., 984p., 1004pp., 1030,
491p., 501, 507p., 527, 546, 564, 569, 593, 596, 1032pp., 1038p., 1042, 1044pp., 1052pp., 1066,
602, 622, 646, 676pp., 681, 696, 698, 704, 762, 1075, 1077p.
766, 797, 804, 810, 836, 906, 933, 935, 940p., 980, ..........................................764, 1026p., 1038, 1071
1037, 1045, 1066p. Mark...................................................................341
Will and Way of God 71, 159, 202, 414, 622, 676p., Matthew.............................................................341
679 , Gallegos, Childress and Stein...........................591
Will of God...56, 60, 129, 148, 172, 200, 209, 219, "Cry 'Havoc!', and let slip the dogs of war".......535
228, 298, 371, 501, 507, 564, 569, 678, 681, 940
1100
1101

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I HAVE AN ETERNITY AHEAD OF ME !

EXPULSION FROM THE GARDEN OF EDEN

SELF REFLECTION: A Look in the Mirror

SELF REFLECTION: A Look in the Mirror

PRAYING FOR GOD'S WILL AND KINGDOM ON EARTH...................................................75

SELF REFLECTION: A Look in the Mirror.....................................................................................112

STANDING IN ABUNDANCE, ETERNALLY...................................................................................165

UNLOCKING THE DOOR TO EMPOWERMENT........................................................................203

Intermittent Waves Recorded ................................................................................................................342

BURDENED Part I................................................................................................................................486

TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE:......................................................................................................567

AUNTIE YONNY: THE LETTER........................................................................................................910

TRANSITIONS AND TRANSPARENCY..........................................................................................1041

I HAVE AN ETERNITY AHEAD OF ME

Sometimes, I let my mind wander. I must confess, lately,

Oh, I know that our Eternity begins when we have been

Peaceful, not always quiet, yet, beyond our imagination,

I like to entertain the thought that I will someday have

I sit there and sing them a song of days gone by and

Oh, there are a multitude of angels and their voices

I guess I could go on and on day-dreaming and imagining,

The word 'eternity' is hard to fathom, when thinking

Should I be more joyous and ALIVE? Need I be in a hurry to

When I have left this body, what will it be like to live

Please join me on this new journey of preparation,

We thank you for being in our lives and for your

Father, you have reminded us that tomorrow is not

Search our hearts and remove that which hinders us

from living and enjoying the abundant and eternal life

Help us to leave the old man inside of us behind

Please forgive us when we fall short of the mark.

Use us to help one another and lift up the name of

In the precious name of The Lamb, Yeshua, Amen

Your servant, united with the One,

SELF REFLECTION: A Look in the Mirror

Once again, when we look at Jesus' parables, He is

DISCUSS your answers with a mature Believer who can guide

QUESTIONS: Write down your questions and discuss them with

1.Do you understand Rebirth? John 3: 8

John 3 King James Version (KJV)

BEFORE WE KNEW SIN

Man's Beginning in the Garden

Knowing our past history with God and paradise, should

Can we invite God into what we have created, thinking

Can we return to nakedness and innocence and claim to

being reborn through the Holy Ghost?

Can we expect Satan to leave us alone in our self-

Should we believe we are somehow immune to sin and

Before we knew sin, God was in control. After we came to

After eating from the forbidden Tree of Knowledge, Adam

A free spirit? What is a free spirit? Does it have the

And what is man trying to free himself from? Does he

When man is at odds with the things and people of the

However, MAN'S methods of escape can only lead to

Many do not understand or acknowledge that the methods

Calvary and the purging FIRE of His Holy Spirit.

Can we create our own little paradise on earth and

The Many Faces of Rebellion and Bondage

The spirit of rebellion comes disguised as many things.

Having disobeyed God's command to not eat of the Tree of

Our merciful Father and God clothed man to cover him,

would take it away, but as an act of GRACE and MERCY for

There in the Garden was the Tree of Knowledge and the