Valerie Gonzalez

March 15, 2018

242B

Reflection 8:
1. Upload your Essay 4 Draft for credit here : ​English 1T- Essay 4 Draft
2. Reflect on reading your work aloud​ (answer one of these questions):
• What was your experience of reading aloud your essay to your peers?
Reading my essay aloud to my peers today was a new and fun experience for me. I was
worried that my peers would judge or not like my essay because it’s not my revised or
best writing but that was not the case. My peers listened carefully and respectfully, and
they also smiled and nodded when we made eye contact. It was also a boost of
confidence to hear my peers say, “good job” when I finished reading.

• What does it feel like to hear your own writing voice?

Hearing my writing voice made me realize I need to work on reading aloud because I
wasn’t able to get comfortable with my voice until the third paragraph. It’s a lot easier to
read in private. However, hearing my own writing voice helped me mentally note where I
left out commas, words, and ideas.

• How does it help you in the writing process?

Hearing my own reading voice helped me realize areas of my essay that did not flow and
ultimately if my ideas made sense. I was able to notice run on sentences that I did not
catch when I was writing the essay and I was able to make mental notes of ideas that need
to be reworded.
• What is the value of hearing your own writing voice when reading your work aloud?
The true value of hearing my own writing voice aloud is I am able to see if I am truly
writing what I am trying to say and explain. For me, everytime I read aloud at home I am
able to think of ways to reword my sentences so that they flow better and I feel like my
thought process works better that way too. In most cases, I feel like our brains work a lot
faster than our hands and that is why some of our ideas are not yet complete.
• What did you learn about this essay by reading it aloud to your group?
 By reading aloud to my group, I learned the importance of having an essay flow rather
than it sounding fact after fact and opinion. Luckily, for this essay I was able to be
creative with my writing and I am actually enjoying writing this essay. I also learned that
I should read my final essay at least 3-5 times aloud before submitting it.
3. Reflect on listening to others voices​: How does listening to other people's writing voices help
you to think about your own writing, or what does it teach you about the writing process in
general?
Listening to other people’s writing voices was as almost as helpful as hearing my own writing
voice, I was able to hear new ideas and ways of expressing those ideas. Similar to myself, I
noticed that when a peer read aloud an idea that was not clear in their writing, they slowed down
and fixed their idea by adding different words. I feel like reading to others pushes us to make
sure our reading sounds good which is good in the long run.
4. Reflect on your peer responses:​ Read over the annotations and comments that your group
made on your essay. Then answer the following questions:
• Do people seem to understand your thesis? Why or why not?
Yes both readers said my thesis answered the revised thesis question head on. I clearly
state that I agree with Luiselli’s argument that unaccompanied minors should be treated
as refugees and should be granted asylum or be given other options other than deportation
while also saying these countries cannot support or protect them. In my whole essay, I
prove why these countries cannot support or protect these children.

• Were people able to identify your naysayer perspective and concession? Explain.
Both readers were clearly able to identify the naysayers perspective and concession
because I was very specific. I used sentence frames like “conservative Republicans would
object..” “conservative Republicans would support this belief by saying…”

• What are your strengths, according to the comments? Explain.

Based on the comments, my strengths were my evidence and analysis. Also, one reader
said I did a great job convincing readers.

• What are the specific parts of the essay that need the most work, according to the
comments? Explain and be sure to NAME the paragraphs, and or specific elements of the
essay you need to work on (for example: developing your claims, providing stronger
support, integrating your quotations, etc.)
 According to the comments, I need to work on in text citations in body paragraph two
when I quote Luiselli and a site I used. I really need to make sure I introduce my quotes
and sites properly in this essay because in the last essay I did not lead in to my quotes that
well.
• Editing: What specific editing errors do you need to pay close attention to? Consider not
just what your peer responders mentioned in today's workshop, but also, consider what
your errors were in Essay 3.
I need to pay attention to my spelling and punctuation errors because I type too quickly
and forget to revise. I also had this issue in my last essay.
5. Create a Revision Plan​:
1. Final Draft of the ​Essay 4 is due on Monday, at 11:59pm​: Write a bullet "to-do" list of
what you need to do to ensure you revise and finish the essay, and save enough time to
edit for: MLA in-text citation, a Works Cited page, spelling and punctuation, and other
grammatical surface-level improvements.
● I need to add a quote from Luiselli book and provide analysis to my fourth body
paragraph
● Need to find a third source that discusses violence so that I can add onto my first
body paragraph
● I need to write my conclusion
● I need to add words from my personal dictionaries
● Make sure my MLA in-text citations are done properly
● Have a work cited page (refer to Little Seagull Handbook)
● I also want to have a peer read it over before I submit it (GOAL IS TO BE DONE
BY SUNDAY NIGHT)