I miss Jonathan ooo.

Now that Buhari is the president, his wife hasn't made

Nigerians laugh and forget their sorrows like first lady Dame Patience did? The
woman increased the life span of an average Nigerian.

Examples of her "award winning speeches"

include:

1- * Nigeria is a great CONTINENT.

2- * My husband and Sambo IS good people.

3- * I rather KILL myself than commit SUICIDE.

4- * My fellow widows.

5- * I travelled to abroad to rest in peace.

6- * My husband is the best couple on earth.

7- * The doctors are responding to treatment.

8- * For those who said I speech bad English, I

left them for God.

9- * Ojukwu is dead, but his Manhood still lives

on.

10- * Na only you waka come?

11- * Chai ! Chai !! Chai !!! This blood we are

"sharing"

12- * diaris God o...

13- * on behave of N2million I donate my family.

14- HAPPY baiday to my Husband your days are numbered

15- *To all those who think Goodluck Jonathan has failed, I have a question for
you. When a child fails an exam, isn't the child supposed to be repeated?

Please support and honour Nigeria first lady by sharing this with all your contacts

Don't laugh alone.

Chei ! Chei !! Chei !!! Dis message "we are reading" "diaris god o"

Newmessg
Cousin: I heard u now work at the bakery.? Akpos: oh yes. I started last week.
Cousin: but you have never brought any bread home. Akpos: Your sister who works at
the airport, has she brought any aeroplane to the house? And even you who works at
the mortuary, have you brought any dead body home before?. Please don't put
pressure on me..

Newmessg
Menstruation Testimony!

During the testimony period in church service; The 16-years old Pastor's daughter
stood up and said....
"Praise the Lord!"
Everybody shouted with joy, "Hallelujah". She continued: "since the age of 13, I've
been experiencing serious pain and bleeding every month and it was unbearable. At
times it would last for 3-5 days.
But now, after a series of Bible studies and prayers with brother Solomon in his
house, the monthly pains and blood flow have stopped for more than 3 months now. No
more pain, no more bleeding. You can see I'm even getting fatter and prettier.
And I'm believing God to perfect my healing as we have started to pray seriously
about the small problem of vomiting, especially in the morning. Praise the
Lord". �
The whole church was silent!
Brother Solomon fainted behind the piano.
"The mother was like "mogbe".

Newmessg
Breaking News:
Buhari Hands Over Power to Osinbajo.</b>
It has been confirmed by CNN this morning that the
President of the federal republic of Nigeria Muhammadu
Buhari has handed over power to his Vice, Prof. Yemi
Osinbajo at the early hours of this morning at London where
the President is currently resting.
This decision came after a close door meeting held by the
cabals and chieftains of the APC.
According to the media adviser to Buhari, Mr. Femi Adesina,
President Buhari handed over his 50,000mAh power bank to
Osinbajo to enable him charge his phone whose battery is
down as a result of lack of electricity in Nigeria!
Thanks for reading.
Coman beat me if u vex fa? No find me too much I no go
work today, I just dey my house here dey press fone.F5

NewMessg
A SINCERE APOLOGY:

*A man received this message from his neighbour...

"Sorry sir, I have been using your wife day and night when you are not at home, in
fact, much more than you do.
I confess this now because I am feeling very guilty. Hope you will accept my
sincere apologies."

Immediately after reading the message, the man shot his wife dead.

A few minutes later, he received another message:

"Sorry sir, a spelling mistake...
I meant Wifi. not Wife."

���
Always be patient in typing, Also in taking actions. Patience is a Virtue.*

NewMessg
DON'T LAUGH ALONE
I attended a crusade and someone touched my shoulder and said "YOU WILL WALK". I
didn't bother because I knew I was not lame. After the crusade, I touched my pocket
and I couldn't find my wallet which contained my transport fare```
!!!... Behold, I WALKED!!������

NewMessg
VANITY has no other name but VANITY (I thought you should read it too)

A Wrist watch for

N500, 000?? Will it show me when the world will end?

• A Bathing soap for

N80, 000?? Will it wash away sins and sorrows?

• One Eye glasses for

N350, 000?? If I wear it, will I be able to see the future?

• An Italian shoe for N150,000?? Shebi I will be able to walk on water?

• A Plasma TV for N500,000?? Will it show me the Judgement day on the last day
live?

• A Gold plated mobile phone for 3 million naira. Chai!!! Will I use it to answer
heaven's call?

• A Hand Bag for 1.3Million naira?? Will I put my life inside it?

• 2 million naira for a table in comedy show. Which kind

laugh I never laugh before?

• 3 Million naira per year at a university. After graduation, will they make me the
president?

Sometimes, I wonder why some people spend like craze, knowing fully well that there
are hungry children in the streets roaming about naked.

1. The smallest act of kindness you show, can change someone's life.

2. Remember, money only brings happiness if you help people with it.

3. Let someone say to you, BECAUSE OF YOU I DIDN'T #GIVE_UP !!!

When God bless' you financially, don't just raise your STANDARD OF LIVING, also
raise your STANDARD OF GIVING.

I saw this and felt the Whole World should see it too. If you feel so too, share
the post .☺.

NewMessg
❤ ❤
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Family are like balloons. Once you let them go, you can't get them back. So I'm
gonna tie you to my heart so I'll never lose you. Happy Family Day! Send this to
All your family including me if u treat me as 1. If you get four back you are a
Great family
���❤❤❤❤�� �
❤❤
❤ ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
We are family

Some become Dearest

Some become Special

Some We Fall in Love with

Some go Abroad ✈
Some change their cities

Some Leave us

eWe Leave some

Some are in contact ☎

Some are not in contact

& Some don't contact us ❌

because of their ego

We don't contact some ❌

because of our ego

Wherever they are busy

However they are, ��

We still remember,✨✨
Love,❤ ❤❤ ❤�
❤ �
�❤
Miss, ❤
n Care 4 �
them because of the part they played, in our life.

Send this to all ur family

no matter how often you talk or how close you are✊�

❤ �✌

Let all your family know you haven't forgotten them ����

& tell your family you will never forget them

❕Cheers To your family members �

Without Family---days are

"Sad day,
moanday,
tearsday,
wasteday,
thirstday,
frightday,
shatterday...
so be in touch everyday...
wats life without family ��
Our family are the best part of our small life..
Luv u..!!!!Tell ur Families that u luv them� ❤
�
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Send to everyone you love whether its real love or friend love, brother love,
sister love, daughter love, son love, father love and mother love.

Newmessg
PhD degree is not a certification of intelligence. It only takes the knowledge of
an aspect of a singular discipline to obtain a PhD. A PhD holder in Sociology for
example would definitely not know how to solve the least Calculus problem. GEJ does
not have a PhD in managementor "governance" so his PhD degree should not be a
subject of reference when trying to castigate his style of leadership.

Examination is not the true test of knowledge neither is a Ph.D a yardstick for
determining leadership and good governance.

Newmessg
OKUTE'e COMEDY ZONE

A pastor was praying for a demon-possessed man. He said, in the name of Jesus, what
do u want frm this Man? speak up before I cast u out this moment! The demon in the
man said, I want him to win the American Lottery Draw worth $200billion tonight.
The pastor lowered the microphone and whispered; get out of him and enter into me.

Newmessg
I beg make una see me see wahala
"I attended a burial of my friend's grand father yesterday but their tradition is
that, at every burial ceremony, an old man would come out and announce the next
person to die, so the old man said the first person to leave the burial ground will
be the next to die... I tell you since yesterday we are still here at the burial
ooh n I hv exam 2moro.