50 Japanese Manners And Customs

posted by John Spacey, December 13, 2009 updated on March 03, 2015

Do you ever wonder what they talk about on Japanese tour buses?
When the Japanese visit other countries on tours, the tour company
educates the group about local manners and customs on the way.
They always include a line that says that tourists represent Japan and
should try their hardest to leave a good impressive. This is an
admirable way to look at travel manners.
The Japanese themselves have an extensive collection of manners
and customs that are interesting to learn. They say much about
Japan's world view and its culture.
As a traveler, you wont master Japanese manners right away.
Nevertheless, every effort you make will greatly improve your
chances of impressing the locals. It's all part of the process of
exploring and participating in Japanese culture.
If you live in Japan, Japanese manners usually become second nature
with time. Long term foreign residents typically retain their sense of
Japanese manners even if they return home.
Common manners and customs in Japan include:

1. Eating Directly From Common Dishes

It's inappropriate to eat directly from common dishes. Put it on your
plate first. It's best to collect a few things on your plate before eating.
2. Paying The Check
In Japan it's quite common to split checks amongst friends or even
on a date. This is known as betsu-betsu.
It's uncommon for restaurants to offer separate checks so people just
roughly figure it out amongst themselves. It's common for men to
offer to pay slightly more because they typically have a more
expensive bill. It's quite rare to figure out the actual amounts, instead
people approximate things. In many cases, a senior member of your
group will pay more.
In business situations it's not acceptable to split the check. Usually
the company that's selling something pays. When someone pays a
check it's customary to pretend that you want to pay by fighting for
the check. This shouldn't be taken seriously. If your customer ends
up paying you'll have little chance of closing the sale.

3. Pouring Your Own Drink

At dinner parties, it's somewhat rude to pour your own drink. Instead
pour everyone's drink but your own and someone will notice and fill
yours. It's popular to order shared bottles of beer and sake because
this routine is one of the charms of an evening.
4. Shaking and Bowing
Shaking hands is very common for business introductions in Japan.
There's no reason to bow unless you're familiar with the custom. The
most important point here is to make your intentions completely
clear with your body language. Bowing and shaking at the same time
doesn't work and is just awkward.
5. Seating Position
In business meetings people from one company all sit on the same
side. The customer is seated in the deepest part of the room furthest
from the door. This is considered the good side. If you're visiting an
office it's common for a receptionist to show you exactly where to
sit. If this doesn't happen it's a good idea to ask.
6. Yukata To Breakfast
Hotel yukata are essentially pajamas. They can be worn in the
corridors of hotels and to the hotel's onsen. At ryokan it's often
alright to wear yukata to breakfast and dinner. This is also true of
many budget hotels.
Some hotels, particularly luxury hotels, will ask that you not wear
yukata to meals including breakfast. This rule is unpopular and some
Japanese guests may ignore it.
7. Lose Yukata
Yukata should be wrapped tightly. Wearing them loose around the
neck looks sloppy, although older men sometimes don't care and
leave their yukata loose.
8. Bathroom Slippers
Japanese businesses such as restaurants require customers to remove
their shoes if they have traditional Japanese flooring. These
businesses will provide bathroom slippers for your use in their
washrooms.
It's easy enough to forget to take these off as you leave the bathroom.
This is an unthinkable mistake that's considered extremely
embarrassing.
9. Garbage Disorder
Most neighborhoods in Japan have a common garbage drop off
point. There are numerous rules on how to package your garbage and
recycling for pickup that vary by your municipality. For example, it's
a common requirement that you should wash and crush your
recyclable plastics.
A neighborhood volunteer makes sure that everyone follows the
rules. These people tend to be feared and are known to go on wild
power trips. If you're not diligent in your garbage disposal they may
become highly critical of your garbage packing skills. The
neighborhood garbage chief is usually well connected to the local
gossip circuit.
10. Playing With Chopsticks
Chopsticks should be used as little as possible. That is to say that
people avoid using them for anything other than eating. This
includes using them to point at things or hovering them over dishes
as you consider what to eat. Chopsticks may have your saliva on the
ends so they should be flung around in the air as little as possible.
Beyond that they are a cultural item that demand some respect, using
them as a toy can be considered disrespectful.
11. Pointing
Pointing is considered somewhat threatening in Japan and is
avoided. Instead people tend to indicate direction with an open hand.
Verbal directions without gestures are also very common.
12. Bathing Dirty
In Japan, bathing is seen as a relaxing leisure activity rather than an
act of cleansing the body. People completely shower with soap
before entering a bath. They go to great lengths to avoid getting any
soap or soap residue in the bath water. The same convention applies
to both home baths and public hot springs.
13. Hot Spring Towels
People bring small towels with them into the bathing areas
of Japanese hot spring. These are used to clean the body before
entering the bath. They are also a tool of modesty that can be hide
small parts of your body as you walk around.
These towels aren't permitted to enter the onsen water. You're also
expected to take it with you from the shower area. This can be a bit
of a dilemma. The usual solution is to put it on your head.
14. Cleaning Your Face With Oshibori
Many restaurants in Japan will provide you with a moist towel
known as an oshibori that's either cool or hot depending on the
season. These are used to lightly clean your hands before a meal. It's
mildly rude to clean your face with them or to continue using the
oshibori throughout the meal as a napkin.
15. Honking
Due to a lack of space it's common for cars in Japan to block busy
roads to quickly perform errands or even to talk on the phone.
Japanese drivers are remarkably patient and usually resist the urge to
honk out of irritation. Brief honks and light flashing is most often
used in friendly gestures such as warning someone that their lights
are off at night.
16. Direct Speech
The Japanese are generally indirect about uncomfortable topics and
avoid conflict where possible. Directly challenging someone in a
way that might embarrass them is a bad idea. The Japanese tend
to drop subtle hints about how they feel rather than direct, bold
statements. The ability to read such hints is an important social skill
in Japan.
17. Cheers
Drinking before kanpai, the Japanese word for cheers is considered
self centered and undisciplined.
When drinking in a group, people will wait for all drinks to arrive for
a round of cheers. It's considered classy for everyone to order the
same drink on the first round, typically beer or sake.
18. Touch
The Japanese don't use physical touch such as hugs and back-
slapping much and are generally uncomfortable with such gestures
from friends. Lovers also tend to avoid physical intimacy in public
places.
Exceptions exist and some people are open to hugs but the default
assumption should be that people aren't comfortable with it.
19. Avoiding Keigo
Keigo is the polite level of speech in Japanese language. It includes
different levels of respectful and humble speech that are difficult to
master, even for the Japanese.
It's easy to get lazy about Keigo, although this can be considered
quite rude. I once had a Japanese coworker who always switched to
English in situations requiring keigo. This irritated his elders in the
company.
Strangely, many foreigners are taught keigo phrases before informal
speech in Japanese schools. As a result, many foreigners tend to over
use keigo in situations that don't require it. For example, when
speaking to a waitress as a customer. This ends up sounding weird.
20. Eager Chopsticks
If someone is picking up something from a common dish, give them
some space. It's bad form for two people to grab from the same dish
at the same time.
1 - 20 21 - 40 41 - 50

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50 Japanese
Manners And
Customs (part 2)
A list of polite
Japanese customs for
situations that you may
encounter.
 50 Japanese
Manners And
Customs (part 3)
A list of polite
Japanese customs for
situations that you may
encounter.

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50 Japanese Manners And Customs

posted by John Spacey, December 13, 2009 updated on March 03, 2015
Do you ever wonder what they talk about on Japanese tour buses?
When the Japanese visit other countries on tours, the tour company educates the group about
local manners and customs on the way. They always include a line that says that tourists
represent Japan and should try their hardest to leave a good impressive. This is an admirable
way to look at travel manners.
The Japanese themselves have an extensive collection of manners and customs that are
interesting to learn. They say much about Japan's world view and its culture.
As a traveler, you wont master Japanese manners right away. Nevertheless, every effort you
make will greatly improve your chances of impressing the locals. It's all part of the process of
exploring and participating in Japanese culture.
If you live in Japan, Japanese manners usually become second nature with time. Long term
foreign residents typically retain their sense of Japanese manners even if they return home.
Common manners and customs in Japan include:

1. Eating Directly From Common Dishes

It's inappropriate to eat directly from common dishes. Put it on your plate first. It's best to
collect a few things on your plate before eating.

2. Paying The Check

In Japan it's quite common to split checks amongst friends or even on a date. This is known as
betsu-betsu.
It's uncommon for restaurants to offer separate checks so people just roughly figure it out
amongst themselves. It's common for men to offer to pay slightly more because they typically
have a more expensive bill. It's quite rare to figure out the actual amounts, instead people
approximate things. In many cases, a senior member of your group will pay more.
In business situations it's not acceptable to split the check. Usually the company that's selling
something pays. When someone pays a check it's customary to pretend that you want to pay
by fighting for the check. This shouldn't be taken seriously. If your customer ends up paying
you'll have little chance of closing the sale.

3. Pouring Your Own Drink

At dinner parties, it's somewhat rude to pour your own drink. Instead pour everyone's drink
but your own and someone will notice and fill yours. It's popular to order shared bottles of
beer and sake because this routine is one of the charms of an evening.

4. Shaking and Bowing

Shaking hands is very common for business introductions in Japan. There's no reason to bow
unless you're familiar with the custom. The most important point here is to make your
intentions completely clear with your body language. Bowing and shaking at the same time
doesn't work and is just awkward.

5. Seating Position
In business meetings people from one company all sit on the same side. The customer is
seated in the deepest part of the room furthest from the door. This is considered the good
side. If you're visiting an office it's common for a receptionist to show you exactly where to sit.
If this doesn't happen it's a good idea to ask.

6. Yukata To Breakfast
Hotel yukata are essentially pajamas. They can be worn in the corridors of hotels and to the
hotel's onsen. At ryokan it's often alright to wear yukata to breakfast and dinner. This is also
true of many budget hotels.
Some hotels, particularly luxury hotels, will ask that you not wear yukata to meals including
breakfast. This rule is unpopular and some Japanese guests may ignore it.

7. Lose Yukata
Yukata should be wrapped tightly. Wearing them loose around the neck looks sloppy, although
older men sometimes don't care and leave their yukata loose.

8. Bathroom Slippers
Japanese businesses such as restaurants require customers to remove their shoes if they have
traditional Japanese flooring. These businesses will provide bathroom slippers for your use in
their washrooms.
It's easy enough to forget to take these off as you leave the bathroom. This is an unthinkable
mistake that's considered extremely embarrassing.

9. Garbage Disorder
Most neighborhoods in Japan have a common garbage drop off point. There are numerous
rules on how to package your garbage and recycling for pickup that vary by your municipality.
For example, it's a common requirement that you should wash and crush your recyclable
plastics.
A neighborhood volunteer makes sure that everyone follows the rules. These people tend to
be feared and are known to go on wild power trips. If you're not diligent in your garbage
disposal they may become highly critical of your garbage packing skills. The neighborhood
garbage chief is usually well connected to the local gossip circuit.

10. Playing With Chopsticks

Chopsticks should be used as little as possible. That is to say that people avoid using them for
anything other than eating. This includes using them to point at things or hovering them over
dishes as you consider what to eat. Chopsticks may have your saliva on the ends so they
should be flung around in the air as little as possible. Beyond that they are a cultural item that
demand some respect, using them as a toy can be considered disrespectful.

11. Pointing
Pointing is considered somewhat threatening in Japan and is avoided. Instead people tend to
indicate direction with an open hand. Verbal directions without gestures are also very
common.

12. Bathing Dirty

In Japan, bathing is seen as a relaxing leisure activity rather than an act of cleansing the body.
People completely shower with soap before entering a bath. They go to great lengths to avoid
getting any soap or soap residue in the bath water. The same convention applies to both home
baths and public hot springs.

13. Hot Spring Towels

People bring small towels with them into the bathing areas of Japanese hot spring. These are
used to clean the body before entering the bath. They are also a tool of modesty that can be
hide small parts of your body as you walk around.
These towels aren't permitted to enter the onsen water. You're also expected to take it with
you from the shower area. This can be a bit of a dilemma. The usual solution is to put it on
your head.

14. Cleaning Your Face With Oshibori

Many restaurants in Japan will provide you with a moist towel known as an oshibori that's
either cool or hot depending on the season. These are used to lightly clean your hands before
a meal. It's mildly rude to clean your face with them or to continue using the oshibori
throughout the meal as a napkin.

15. Honking
Due to a lack of space it's common for cars in Japan to block busy roads to quickly perform
errands or even to talk on the phone.
Japanese drivers are remarkably patient and usually resist the urge to honk out of irritation.
Brief honks and light flashing is most often used in friendly gestures such as warning someone
that their lights are off at night.

16. Direct Speech

The Japanese are generally indirect about uncomfortable topics and avoid conflict where
possible. Directly challenging someone in a way that might embarrass them is a bad idea. The
Japanese tend to drop subtle hints about how they feel rather than direct, bold statements.
The ability to read such hints is an important social skill in Japan.

17. Cheers
Drinking before kanpai, the Japanese word for cheers is considered self centered and
undisciplined.
When drinking in a group, people will wait for all drinks to arrive for a round of cheers. It's
considered classy for everyone to order the same drink on the first round, typically beer or
sake.

18. Touch
The Japanese don't use physical touch such as hugs and back-slapping much and are generally
uncomfortable with such gestures from friends. Lovers also tend to avoid physical intimacy in
public places.
Exceptions exist and some people are open to hugs but the default assumption should be that
people aren't comfortable with it.

19. Avoiding Keigo

Keigo is the polite level of speech in Japanese language. It includes different levels of
respectful and humble speech that are difficult to master, even for the Japanese.
It's easy to get lazy about Keigo, although this can be considered quite rude. I once had a
Japanese coworker who always switched to English in situations requiring keigo. This irritated
his elders in the company.
Strangely, many foreigners are taught keigo phrases before informal speech in Japanese
schools. As a result, many foreigners tend to over use keigo in situations that don't require it.
For example, when speaking to a waitress as a customer. This ends up sounding weird.

20. Eager Chopsticks

If someone is picking up something from a common dish, give them some space. It's bad form
for two people to grab from the same dish at the same time.
21. Slippers on Tatami
Generally slippers should not be worn on tatami floors. At ryokan this
often means that slippers are for hallways only.

22. Headlights At Intersections

Drivers in the countryside will often turn off their lights at an
intersection as a courtesy to drivers facing their headlights on the
other side. This is somewhat dangerous because people forget to turn
them back on from time to time. This custom is far less common in
urban areas.

23. Elevator Doors

In elevators, the person standing the closest to the buttons operates the
elevator doors. This person should help people select their floor if
their hands are full or they're behind someone.
The person nearest the door should also be the last to get off when
they reach their floor.
24. Respect for Meishi
Business cards, or "meishi" in Japanese, have great significance
to Japanese business culture. It's important to show another person's
meishi respect. Receive it with two hands and look it over carefully. In
a meeting, put the meishi you receive in front of you on the table
carefully laid out.
Local business people all carry business card cases. Received meishi
are carefully placed in the case after a meeting. When they get back to
their desk they put them in special meishi binders and retain them for
many years. Your collection of meishi is considered a professional
asset. A huge collection of meishi can be seen as a status symbol
amongst your peers. When you dispose of a meishi, a paper shredder
should be used.
25. Walking and Eating
Walking and eating is seen as sloppy. It's very common to see people
stand or crouch when eating Japanese street food.
26. Seiza
Many Japanese ceremonies and rituals require participants to sit in a
position known as seiza with their legs under them. This is hard to
maintain for long unless you're accustomed to it. If you find yourself
with seiza difficulties, sit with your legs crossed in front of you. It's
common knowledge in Japan that many foreign people have difficulty
sitting seiza.
27. Garden Slippers
Ryokan and other traditional businesses may offer outdoor and indoor
slippers to guests. The outdoor slippers will be placed at entrances
below the indoor slippers. Entrances are always lower than the floor to
separate the clean from the unclean.
The two types of slippers are always different colors to keep them
apart. In many cases, the outdoor shoes are geta or something rugged
looking. Wearing the outdoor slippers inside will freak people out.
Similar shoes are offered at private residences for balcony or backyard
use.
28. Backpacks On Trains
It's customary to take off your backpack on a crowded train and hold it
in your hands. Major Japanese train companies that handle hundreds
of millions of passengers a year do a great deal of education about
manners. They occasionally invent new manners designed to make
things flow more smoothly for passengers.
29. Blowing Your Nose
Blowing your nose in public is considered rude. The locals retreat to
the washroom to blow their nose. Sniffling is generally okay.
30. Lazy Bows
The Japanese have a number of different styles of bow that apply to
different social situations. Executing these bows in a lazy way can be
insulting. A formal bow is usually to 45 degrees. As a tourist there is
no need to bow, the rules are somewhat complex.
31. Taxi Doors
Most taxi doors in Japan are automatic. The driver will open and close
the door. Many drivers get a little upset if you operate the door
yourself.
32. Walking and Smoking
Walking and smoking is viewed as a dangerous and inconsiderate for
a variety of reasons with the biggest being the idea that you could
accidentally burn someone on a crowded street. The Japanese take this
quite seriously and it's now illegal to walk and smoke in some areas.
This is actively enforced. Designated outdoor smoking areas are quite
common in Japan.
33. Underdressing
Japanese cultural activities such as theatre and tea ceremony tend to
require formal wear. These rules are often unwritten but expected.
Beyond that, people dress formally at restaurants and for the office.
It's very easy to feel underdressed in the Tokyo sea of black suits.
34. Sushi Bottom Dipping
Nigiri sushi should be dipped upside down so that only the fish
touches the sauce. Otherwise, the rice falls into the sauce and looks
sloppy. This can be a bit tricky with chopsticks but using your hands
is an option.
35. Tipping
In Japan there is no custom of tipping servers at restaurants or taxi
drivers. Tipping can be considered insulting or at least confusing.
36. Meishi Positioning
It's not often observed but technically you should try to hand
your meishi at a lower height to someone with higher status such as a
customer. Alternatively if you have higher status it can be a sign of
confidence to hand your meishi at a good height.
This is the type of detail that was traditionally noticed in Japanese
business circles but has relaxed in recent years.
37. Itadakimasu
It's common to say "Itadakimasu" at the start of a meal before eating.
This can be loosely translated "I humbly receive" and is usually
considered more cultural than religious. It's somewhat common to
clasp the hands in a brief prayer poseas you say it.
38. Gochisosama Deshita
Gochisosama Deshita can be literally translated "it was a feast." It's
used to thank someone for preparing a meal or for paying the bill at a
restaurant. It's also used to complement good service as you leave a
restaurant (if you paid the bill yourself). Yet another use of the phase
is to request the check at the end of your meal. In all circumstances it's
a polite phase that's sure to impress.
39. Karaoke Turns
Foreign residents of Japan tend to take a haphazard approach to
karaoke with people freely joining in songs as they feel fit. The
Japanese are more likely to take turns picking songs and may get
offended if you cut in on their song. This varies by person but it's
safest to ask permission before joining a song.
40. Digging Chopsticks
When retrieving food from common dishes, take the item closest to
you on the top. Digging in a common dish for the best piece is
frowned upon.
41. Wet Umbrellas
In Japan, people carry umbrellas at the slightest chance of rain. It's
considered polite to avoid making people wet with your umbrella on a
crowded train. Businesses such as restaurants and department stores
may provide plastic covers for your umbrella, colloquially referred to
as umbrella condoms. These aren't considered optional as the business
is typically serious about keeping the floors from becoming wet and
slippery.
42. Stabbing Food With Chopsticks
When you're having difficulty picking food up with your chopsticks
it's tempting to stab the food with them. This is mildly rude although
the locals occasionally do it.
43. Swirling Chopsticks
Miso soup settles to the bottom of the bowl. You may be tempted to
stir it with your chopsticks. This should be avoided because it looks
like you're trying to clean your chopsticks in your soup. It's also a
good idea to avoid letting your chopsticks linger in your mouth for the
same reason. If your chopstick tips are messy, leave them messy. Any
attempt to clean them is usually rude.
44. Two Person Chopsticks
Two people should never handle the same food item at the same time
with their chopsticks. This situation rarely occurs but you may be
tempted to pass food to someone chopsticks-to-chopsticks. It's a
particular taboo thing to do because it resembles a Japanese funeral
ritual.
45. Chopstick Holders
If the table has chopstick holders, use them whenever you're not
eating. They are to keep your dirty chopsticks off the table and the
dirty table off your chopstick ends. If no chopstick holder is provided,
consider making one with the paper that wrapped your chopsticks.
Otherwise you can keep your chopsticks off the table by using your
plate.
46. Oseibo & Ochugen
Oseibo & Ochugen are winter and summer gifts respectively that are
given by families at year-end and around Obon. They are given to
relatives, neighbors and anyone you has helped you out in the past
year such as a doctor or teacher. Oseibo & Ochugen are given family-
to-family and not person-to-person. Gifts are usually box sets of
commodity items such as fruit, beer or sweets.
47. Mobile Manners
Loud conversations on your mobile phone in public places are
considered rude in Japan. Locals try to be discrete and very quiet
when accepting a call. It's also considered rude to talk on the phone on
a train or in a cafe.
48. Names
Unless you're very familiar with someone it's appropriate to address
them with their last name followed by the polite prefix "-san."
49. Soup Manners
Japanese soups aren't typically eaten with a spoon. It's okay to pick up
a soup bowl to drink from it as opposed to lowering your head to the
bowl.
50. Leaving Before The Boss
The Japanese respect effort in business situations. Effort is seen as a
team level thing rather than an individual accomplishment. In many
cases, employees will stay late because their team is working late even
if they don't have much to do. It's very common to avoid leaving
before the boss.
Employees who consistently leave before the rest of the team may be
seen as problematic even if their work is satisfactory. If their work is
unbelievably good they'll get away with it.