I began the revision process by reading through my essay again and trying to find

grammatical and punctuation errors. After this I would open a peer review and look at the

highlighted portions to see where I could improve on my personal presence, engagement

between myself and the world, my self-exploration and discovery, and showing and telling

scenes. I wanted to make sure that I had shown these in my writing multiple times each

throughout the essay. To revise for personal presence, I made some changes to make sure the

reader understood that I was writing the story about something that I was passionate about. When

revising for showing engagement between myself and the world I made sure I had shown how it

always felt like the cards were stacked against me. After reading my essay again with peer

editing I could see more places in my essay where I had discovered something about my story

while I was writing it than I realized. Finally, I made sure that I had created a scene and showed

an event more than I just told about it. Next, I would read the Velcro phases to find the places in

my essay where the reader was intrigued or what stuck with them. I then went back to these

places and tried to make sure I had made a good connection or emphasized a point. Next, I would

look at the feelings people experienced and at what point in the essay did they experience these

feelings. I done this to ensure that I had conveyed the feelings I had aimed to in the right places

and reworded spots where the reader experienced an emotion I had not intended. Finally, I would

look at the questions, I believe these helped me the most during the revision process. I would go

back and find where they asked these questions and try to better describe so the reader could

better understand my article. After this I went back and checked for grammatical and punctuation

errors for a second time. Then I rearraigned a few sentences and paragraph structure to better set

up and explain the prompt.

 To create this project, I began with a rough draft then I would rewrite the story after we

learned knew methods to write better in class such as, clustering, freewriting, creating scenes,

etc. I got the ideas for my writing by using the cluster technique and thinking about what was

important to me and I could write in depth about. If I needed help with my writing I would

usually ask my friends and classmates. I used the supplemental assignments to strengthen my

writing by rewriting my essay and using them each time during the process. It felt good to create

this project I feel like I became a better writer and it got a lot off my chest.

Parts of the assignment came out as I intended but other parts I found myself getting way

more in depth than I had originally anticipated. I think the strongest part of my writing is how I

conveyed emotions and self-discovered through my writing. I could still use more work in

creating scenes and relating my experiences to the world.

Next time I will do a better job of staying on one subject and planning out the time I

spend writing better, so I do not feel rushed my deadlines and I can write more thoroughly. I will

use the clustering and freewriting techniques for future essays in this course and other courses as

well as creating scenes and using self-discovery.