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COVER
STORIES
104 Hungry Girls’
Guide to Losing
Weight (Hint:
Tacos)
120 It’s Kylie Jenner!
The New
Kardashian
Mogul
134 Hot Tips for
Hot Lips + Hair
+ Skin + Nails
(and throughout
the issue)
145 “I Took My
Boyfriend to a
Dominatrix”
The Hilarious
Story You
Have to Read!
162 Guys Confess
Their Biggest
Relationship
Regrets
186 1-2-3 Steps
to Figure Out
Your Future
Faster
208 Free Cosmo

126
E-Book: Steamier
Than Fifty Shades!

Swimsuit, Osklen Praia

A&B. Headband, Cult
Gaia. Earrings, Aurélie
PHOTOGARPHED BY DAN MONICK

Bidermann. Necklace,
Uribe. Lucite bracelets,
Maria Francesca Pepe.
Sunglasses, DSquared2.
Bracelets (left arm, worn Look Sexy Now—Make
throughout), Bella’s
own Tiffany & Co., (right
arm, worn throughout)
Them Obsessed With You!
Bella’s own Cartier
FEB
FUN, FEARLESS
GAME PLAN
12 50 Things to Do This Month
52 Dress in Stereo
58 Play It by Ear
60 Look Hot Tonight:
In Leather Pants
WIN IT!
This sleek
bag is up for
grabs!

This Mackage
handbag, stuffed
with the season’s
latest beauty
FUN, FEARLESS products, could be
BEAUTY yours! Enter for your
63 Truly, Matte-ly, Deeply chance to win at
64 Ask Leah Cosmopolitan.com/
68 How to Blush Up 114 “Who Crowdfunds a Baby?” Mackage2015.
FUN, FEARLESS
CONFESSIONS 71 Sexy New Ways to
31 Confessions Wear Braids 180 Dress for the Job You Want
34 Worst Dates Ever! 76 The Hot-Mom Effect 182 Be More Creative Every Day
78 “I Couldn’t Stop Pulling 184 Confessions of a
Out My Hair” Celebrity Assistant
80 The Skinny: Hot Secret for 190 News
Better Skin FASHION & BEAUTY 192 Cosmo Exclusive: “Love
82 Why You Need a Go-To Look 119 What’s Sexy for February Cost Us Our Jobs”
84 $10, Tops!
FUN, FEARLESS 86 “Hey, Can I Borrow That?”
CELEBS
37 Shades of Jamie
38 The Hotness: Ryan Guzman
40 Fun, Fearless...Fail!
LOVE, LUST & LIVE IT UP!
OTHER STUFF 197 Love Your Breakfast
HOT & HEALTHY 153 7 Ways to Win at 200 4 Superfast Steps to
89 Put More Happy in Valentine’s Day a Clean, Sexy Bedroom
Your New Year 154 First Comes Love, 202 Warm Up Your Space
90 Cashing In: Stay Fit Then Comes…Moving In! With Cozy Touches
FUN, FEARLESS on the Cheap 160 Sex Q&A
STYLE 94 Get the Max Out 162 Manthropology
167 Ask Him Anything
IN EVERY ISSUE
47 Brighten Up of Every Move 22 It’s a Cosmo World
48 Finds Under $50 98 Fitness Buzz 170 Obsessed
26 From the Editor
50 Undie Heaven 102 Body News 28 In Her Own Words
42 Sexy vs. Skanky
DAVID LEWIS TAYLOR/STUDIO D. SEE PAGE

44 #RealTalk: Can We Not Talk

210 FOR SHOPPING INFORMATION.

Jacket, Phillip Plein. Tank, Paige Denim. Jeans, J Brand. Earrings, ring About My Race for a Minute?
(on right hand), Luv Aj. Ring (on left hand), Lulu Frost. To get Kylie’s
look, try Highlighting Palette in Bronze Glow, Grow Luscious Mascara 204 Cosmo Astrologer
in Blackest Black, ColorStay Lip Liner in Natural, Ultra HD Lipstick in
Hibiscus, and ColorStay Gel Envy Nail Enamel in Sure Thing, all by 206 Red-Hot Read
Revlon. Fashion editor: James Worthington DeMolet. Hair: Mark
Townsend for Dove Hair Care. Makeup: Beau Nelson at the Wall Group
FUN, FEARLESS WORK, 210 Bitch It Out!/Shopping
using NYX Cosmetics. Manicure: Kimmie Kyees for CelestineAgency. NEWS & LIFE Information
com. Set design: Jesse Nemeth for BA Reps. Production by Shotsie
Kramer for First Shot Productions. Photographed by Eric Ray Davidson 177 Life’s Too Short to 212 Cosmo Quiz: Are You Turning
Hate Your Job Into Your Mother?

10 THE MODELS PHOTOGRAPHED IN COSMOPOLITAN ARE USED FOR ILLUSTRATIVE PURPOSES ONLY; COSMOPOLITAN
DOES NOT SUGGEST THAT THE MODELS ACTUALLY ENGAGE IN THE CONDUCT DISCUSSED IN THE STORIES THEY ILLUSTRATE.
 CELEBRATE

BIRTHDAY!
3. LET THE
1. TAKE GOOD
A JOINT TIMES ROLL
SHOWER Overserve
...without rushing.
V Day is on a your friends
Saturday this on Fat Tues-
year (Mixture
soaps, $11.50, day, Feb. 17—
mixtureusa.com). the more Mardi
Gras beads,
the better.

JON PATERSON/STUDIO D. CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: GETTY IMAGES

(3); KEVIN MAZUR/WIREIMAGE; COURTESY NET-A-PORTER.COM.

5. DEFROST
YOUR LOCKS
Ocean waves in
winter? Yes, you 6. WISH FOR
can, with John SNOW It’s the
Frieda’s Beach best excuse for
Blonde collection indulging in the
new skiwear
($10, target.com). on Net-a-Porter
(Jacket, Emilio
Pucci, net-a-
12 porter.com).
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 7 CONSIDER
.THE G-HOG
The why and
15. SMELL
LIKE A ROYAL
Penhaligon’s Lon-
don creates custom
how of Ground- scents for Brit roy-
alty and commoners
hog Day (Feb. alike (from $85,
2) never gets penhaligons.com).

less weird.

.
But love that
Punxsutawney
Phil—so many
squees!
SALUTE A NEW SHE-RO
Her name’s Peggy Carter, and you
8. CURE BREAK- 9. ADVOCATE may know her from Marvel’s Cap-
ING BAD WITH- FOR WOMEN
DRAWAL Walter …alongside Blake tain America movies. ABC’s new
White’s cray law- Lively, Jennifer Agent Carter reveals how the sec-
yer is the danger Garner, and Eva retary by day, badass covert-mis-
in AMC’s new Longoria in PBS’s
spin-off Better Call docu-series A
sions agent by night helped found
Saul, premiering Path Appears the secret supergroup the Agents of 16. CLEAR YOUR iCAL
Feb. 8, 10 p.m. ET. (Jan. 26, 9 p.m. ET). S.H.I.E.L.D. (Tuesdays, 8 p.m. ET). House of Cards’ third
season hits Netflix Feb.
27. You’re going to need a
couple of days to binge.

10. GET FRESH

…with lingerie line
Hanky Panky’s
first fragrance—a
classy floral affair to
complement its hit
thongs (from $28,
17. TIPTOE
STARDOM
TO

hankypanky.com). The GX by Gwen

11. THROW Stefani acces-
SHADE ...hot pink sories collection
shade in Miley Cyrus’s
Viva Glam lipstick and puts you one step
lip glass for MAC. Pro-
ceeds benefit the MAC
closer to get-
AIDS Fund, y’all ($16, ting the singer’s
maccosmetics.com).
swagger ($99.95,
nordstrom.com).

13. DRINK!
…every time
a pop diva wins
at the 57th
Annual Grammy
Awards (Feb. 8,
8 p.m. ET, CBS).

14
Discover Bliss
Discover
®
 32. GET
GROOMING
INSPO…from the
wild doggy styles
at the Westminster
Dog Show (Feb. 16
and 17, CNBC, USA).

33. COUNT THE

N’SYNC-ERS…
at Lance Bass’s
wedding on E!
Feb. 5, 8 p.m.
ET. All the guys
are invited.

30. BREAK OUT

IN SONG…with
the ridick knights
and maidens of
ABC’s musical-
comedy mini-
series Galavant.

20. HIDE YOUR HANG-

OVER
Dark and reflective lenses are
key (Oxydo, $118 and $98,
solsticesunglasses.com).

COURTESY DAVID YURMAN; PHILIP FRIEDMAN/STUDIO D; CONSTANTIN FILM PRODUKTION; WARNER BROS.;
JON PATERSON/STUDIO D. CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: COURTESY CUPID’S UNDIE RUN; GETTY IMAGES (3);
…that

THOMAS CONCORDIA/RADIUS; WARNER BROS.; GUY D’ALEMA; UNIVERSAL PICTURES.

23. FOCUS Will Smith 25. THE DUFF Discov-

and Margot Robbie: hot- ering that you’re the Des-
test con-artist duo ever? ignated Ugly Fat Friend of
Watch and discuss. your clique? So not cool.

24. THE LAST FIVE 26. JUPITER

YEARS The musical ASCENDING Mila Kunis
retelling of one couple’s and Channing Tatum
roller-coaster romance. get all intergalactic.

16 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014

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 ELLE KING “‘Loud, rowdy,
heartful’—that’s how Elle King
describes her debut album, Love
Stuff. The singer/songwriter (and
actor Rob Schneider’s daughter)
DOWNLOAD has one of those soulful voices
NOW that transcends time. Download
Our resident “Ex’s & Oh’s” and put it on a loop.”
music guru, FIRST MUSIC MEMORY “Instead of
Sergio Kletnoy, getting a babysitter, my dad got me
shares what’s Abba’s greatest hits and sent me
on his playlist. around in a limo for a couple
Get more of hours. Some people would
@SergioKletnoy. call that bad parenting, but I call it
a pivotal moment in my life.”

COURTESY COLUMBIA RECORDS; COURTESY RCA RECORDS; COURTESY UZO OLEH; COURTESY NEW BALANCE.
ON THE ALBUM TITLE “Most of my songs

JON PATERSON/STUDIO D. CLOCKWISE FROM TOP CENTER: SHANE MCCAULEY; COURTESY RCA RECORDS;
are about love, between me and
another person, between me and
myself, between me and the world.
But it’s also the name of a sex shop
in Florida: Boobie Trap Love Stuff.”

38. FANGIRL
OUT…over Pretty
Little Liars star/
photog Keegan
Allen’s book of
personal snaps,
featuring plenty of
costars off-duty.
41. ESTELLE Her 43. ELLA HENDER- 44. MIKKY EKKO
single “Something Good” SON Her album Chapter The co–singer/songwriter
has been everywhere, all One has already topped of Rihanna’s “Stay” debuts
the time. Dare you not to the UK charts. With her his first album with the
dance to the full album, hit single “Ghost,” Ella’s help of VIP friends like Katy
True Romance, out Feb. 17. got America in the bag. Perry, Adele, and yes, RiRi.

39. WORK THE

RUNWAY…even
if it’s a treadmill
in a sweet pair of
New Balances for
Kate Spade Satur-
day ($95, new
balance.com).

45. LOVE BY THE 47. FIND ME

BOOK A 20some- As a mysterious
thing workshops outbreak rages, a
her chaotic love lonely young hos-
life, one question- pital worker pieces
able self-help book her fragmented
at a time. past together.

46. FUNNY GIRL 48. SINGLE,

The latest from CAREFREE,
About a Boy author MELLOW You’ll
Hornby sees wide- see your friends,
eyed ’60s ingenue exes, and yourself
Sophie Straw on a in these all-too-
quest for stardom. real vignettes.

18 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014

 Cement the Deal My Silk Tie Dark Side of Romantically Shine for Me
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 PROMOTION

2 3

presented by
1

Maybelline New York believes that every woman is Born With It—
the power to embrace individuality, dream big, and achieve bigger.
That's why Maybelline New York was proud to be the presenting partner
of Cosmopolitan's first-ever Fun Fearless Life weekend on November 8 –9,
2014, at New York City's Lincoln Center. An impressive roster of game-
changing A-list speakers inspired and empowered the sold-out crowd of
ambitious young women to go out into the world and create their ultimate
dream lives.

5 7

1. Cosmo reader making her mark 2. Getting a Maybelline New York makeover 3. David H. Koch Theater, Lincoln Center
4. Gabe Almodovar, Maybelline New York Celebrity Makeup Artist and his team 5. Make Your Mark Panel: Aliza Licht, SVP Global
Communications, Donna Karan International; Alicia Quarles, E! News Correspondent; Actress Shay Mitchell; Anne Marie Nelson-Bogle,
VP of Marketing, Maybelline New York 6. Denise Quattrochi, AVP of Integrated Marketing Communications, Maybelline New York; Donna
Kalajian Lagani, SVP/Publishing Director, Cosmopolitan + Cosmo for Latinas; David Greenberg, President, Maybelline New York; Anne
Marie Nelson-Bogle 7. Actress Gabrielle Union and Joanna Coles, Editor-in-Chief, Cosmopolitan
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 IT’S A tweets
@Niks_Piks_xx
Love this from
the @Cosmopolitan
December issue.
#GrownWomenLikeTo
COSMO we love
@Kel12Ann
Love the advice from
@RitaOra in Cosmo…

WORLD
Drink and I like to read “Be patient & don’t
#MyCosmo too! #TGIF force anything.”

@JilllOliver
If all men just read Cosmo,
they would learn

COSMOtivation everything they need to

know about making a
Inspiration with a Cosmo edge. BY ANNA BRESLAW woman happy
& the world would be
a better place.

FROM TOP: GETTY IMAGES (3); COURTESY HARLEQUIN. LETTERS, “SHOW US YOUR COSMO” ENTRIES, AND “TWEETS WE LOVE” ENTRIES MAY HAVE BEEN EDITED FOR LENGTH AND CLARITY.
WARNING: SOME READERS HAVE RECEIVED E-MAILS FROM PEOPLE PRETENDING TO BE FROM COSMOPOLITAN, CLAIMING TO BE LOOKING FOR NEW MODELS AND REQUESTING PERSONAL
@SamanthAnn92
First Cosmo of the
new year. I’m not the
only one who’s
excited. #CosmoCat

TE”
PROPRIA
“AGE AP AS
A B OU T AS RE A L
@AngryKelsey
IS
.
TH FAIRY
A really great THE TOO
article from
Gabrielle Union in
Cosmo about the
nude-photo

INFO. THESE E-MAILS ARE A SCAM—YOU MAY WANT TO REPORT THEM TO LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT.
scandal.

SHOW US
YOUR COSMO!
How does Cosmo fit A hideous yellow
into your life? Instagram or bridesmaid’s dress,
tweet your photo to
@Cosmopolitan a cray-hot best man,
#MyCosmo. If we feature and an unexpected
you in the mag, we’ll turn of events are
give you $50! at the heart of this
exclusive edition
LETTER OF THE MONTH for Cosmo readers.
It includes a bonus
“Thank you so much for ‘The Cheerleaders
interview with the
Make Some Noise’ article in your December USA Today best-
issue. Being a Buffalo resident and Bills fan, I selling author.
was glad to get both sides of the story and gain Just visit BookShout.com/
a new perspective on the situation. It just goes CosmoFreeBook and enter the code
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Solid start to
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TALK TO US! WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS ISSUE? E-MAIL YOUR THOUGHTS TO
INBOX@COSMOPOLITAN.COM, VISIT COSMOPOLITAN.COM TO COMMENT, OR TWEET US @COSMOPOLITAN.
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 Editor-in-Chief JOANNA COLES
Executive Editor LESLIE YAZEL
Creative Director THERESA GRIGGS
Managing EditorJOHN DIOSO
AYA KANAI
Fashion Director
Beauty Director LEAH WYAR
Photography Director ALIX B. CAMPBELL
Senior Deputy Editor SARA AUSTIN
Entertainment Director
DANA STERN SCHWARTZ
Director of Strategy and Communications
HOLLY WHIDDEN
Deputy Editors KATIE L. CONNOR,
MARINA KHIDEKEL
Special Projects Director
LAURA BROUNSTEIN
Design Director SUSANNAH HAESCHE
FEATURES
Senior Editors HELIN JUNG,
MICHELLE RUIZ
Staff Writer ANNA BRESLAW
Assistant Managing Editor M. RYAN PURDY
Assistant Editor RACHEL MOSELY
Executive Assistant to Editor-in-Chief
SERGIO KLETNOY
Editorial Business Coordinator CARYN KANARE
Assistant Brand Coordinator
DIANDRA BARNWELL
Editorial Assistant GABRIELLE HURWITZ
Contributors MIKA BRZEZINSKI; IAN KERNER,
PHD; ABIGAIL PESTA; ALEXA VON TOBEL
Health Advisory Board JENNIFER ASHTON, MD;
MITCHELL CREININ, MD; HANNAH DAVIS,
CSCS; DAVID J. LEFFELL, MD; STEPHANIE
MIDDLEBERG, RD; HOLLY PHILLIPS, MD;
MARISA WEISS, MD; JENNIFER WIDER, MD
FASHION
Market Director SHIONA TURINI
Senior Market Editor SARAH CONLY
Senior Accessories Editor KATHY LEE
Bookings Director STEVEN BROWN
Senior Fashion Editor
JAMES WORTHINGTON DEMOLET
Associate Fashion Editor
ADAM MANSUROGLU
Associate Accessories Editor NICOLE FINEO
Fashion Assistants HANNAH BIBB,
SHALAEYA BROWN
BEAUTY
Deputy Beauty Editor JESSICA MATLIN
Senior Beauty Editor MARTA TOPRAN
Senior Associate Beauty Editor DEANNA PAI
Beauty Assistant LAUREN BALSAMO
ART
Deputy Art Director DANIELLE JONES
Associate Art Director BETSY HALSEY
Art Manager ALEXANDRA KUSHEL
Design Assistant ELIZABETH HOWELL
Digital-Imaging Specialist RALPH RUGGIERO
PHOTO
Deputy Photo Director FABIENNE LE ROUX
Photo Editor ALLIE KIRCHER
24 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015
Arugula Smash
NYC’s Experimental Cocktail
Club goes healthy(ish) with
a fresh hit of green juice.
Muddle 2 pieces fresh
celery, 5 sprigs arugula,
1 pinch black pepper. Pour
in 2 dashes celery bitters,
1
/2 ounce lemon juice, 1/2
ounce simple syrup, and 3/4
ounce white rum. Shake,
and strain on crushed ice.
COPY AND RESEARCH
Copy Director ANN BACON WRIGHT
Research Director CHRIS MOORE
Deputy Copy Chief ESTER BROOKE FRIEDMAN
Senior Research Editor ROBIN HONIG
Copy Editor MARISSA GAINSBURG
INTERACTIVE MEDIA
Digital Asset Manager BLAKE W. ELLISON
Digital Art Director CHI UN LEE
Digital Designer ADRIAN CARHUAYO
PUBLIC RELATIONS
Public Relations Manager LACEY DRUCKER
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
Editor AMY ODELL
Executive Features Editor LORI FRADKIN
Entertainment Editor PATTI GRECO
Senior Writer JILL FILIPOVIC
Managing Editor ALEXANDRA MARTELL
Sex and Relationships Editors
EMMA BARKER, FRANK KOBOLA,
LANE MOORE
Senior Community Manager ELISA BENSON
Beauty Editor CARLY CARDELLINO
Style Editor CHARLES MANNING
Fitness and Health Editor ELIZABETH NARINS
Web Editor, Cosmo for Latinas ALANNA NUNEZ
Pop-Culture Editor ALEX REES
Associate Entertainment Editor
ELIZA THOMPSON
Social-Media Editor MADELINE HALLER
Photo Editor KATHLEEN KAMPHAUSEN
Graphic Designer LAUREN AHN
Copy Editor HEESEUNG KIM
Editorial Assistant TESS KOMAN
Assistant Fashion and Beauty Editor
BROOKE SHUNATONA
INTERNATIONAL EDITIONS
SVP/Editorial Director KIM ST. CLAIR BODDEN
Executive Director/editorial ASTRID O.
BERTONCINI Executive Creative Director/
International Branding PETER YATES Fashion/
Entertainment Director KRISTEN INGERSOLL
Content Network Director SHELLEY MEEKS
International Editions Editors JACQUELYN GALGEY,
SHAHRZAD GOLCHIN Associates JESSIE AJLUNI,
LIZ ANAGNOST, ROSA BORDALLO, QUINCY DAY,
JACQUELINE M. MANCUSO, OLGA MUZICIAN, FAH
SAKHARET, LAURA SANTOS EDITOR, ARGENTINA
María José Grillo EDITOR, ARMENIA Hrachuhi
Utmazyan EDITOR, AUSTRALIA Bronwyn McCahon
EDITOR, AZERBAIJAN Aygun Mustafayeva EDITOR,
BRAZIL Juliana De Mari EDITOR, BRITAIN Louise
Court EDITOR, BULGARIA Detelina Stamenova
EDITOR, CHILE Ignacia Uribe EDITOR, CHINA Vera Xu
EDITOR, CROATIA Marjana Filipovic-Grcic EDITOR,
CYPRUS Stalo Papanastasiou EDITOR, CZECH
REPUBLIC Sabrina Karasova EDITOR, ESTONIA
EDITOR, FINLAND Miina Lange EDITOR, FRANCE
Sylvie Overnoy EDITOR, GERMANY Kerstin Weng
EDITOR, GREECE Lydia Papaioannou EDITOR, HONG
KONG Ruqiyah Law Kam Ying EDITOR, HUNGARY
TRAVIS RATHBONE. FOOD/PROP STYLIST: ROSCOE BETSILL.
Johanna Sabján EDITOR, INDIA Nandini Bhalla
EDITOR, INDONESIA Fira Basuki EDITOR, ITALY
Francesca Delogu EDITOR, KAZAKHSTAN Evgenia
Evstegneeva EDITOR, KOREA Hyun Joo Kim EDITOR,
LATIN AMERICA Ana Victoria Taché EDITOR, LATVIA
Santa Kristiana Zamuele EDITOR, LITHUANIA Violeta
Kalikauskiene EDITOR, MALAYSIA Eena Houzyama
EDITOR, MIDDLE EAST EDITOR, MONGOLIA
Khaliuna Bold EDITOR, NETHERLANDS Anne Marije
de Vries Lentsch EDITOR, PHILIPPINES Myrza
Sison EDITOR, POLAND Hanna Wolska EDITOR,
PORTUGAL Sandra Mauricio EDITOR, ROMANIA
Diana Colcer EDITOR, RUSSIA Polina Sokhranova
EDITOR, SERBIA Nasja Veljkovic EDITOR,
SINGAPORE Jo Upcraft EDITOR, SLOVENIA Manca
Campa Pavlin EDITOR, SOUTH AFRICA Cathy Lund
EDITOR, SPAIN Lala Herrero EDITOR, TAIWAN Lo
Ya Chien EDITOR, THAILAND Pimsiri Jaiya EDITOR,
TURKEY Ozlem Kotan EDITOR, UKRAINE Anna
Bazdreva EDITOR, VIETNAM Nguyen Mai Phuong
 SVP/Publishing Director, Chief Revenue Officer
DONNA KALAJIAN LAGANI
Associate Publisher/Advertising PETER MEDWID
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PETER SCHMIDT
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Creative Director, Integrated Marketing

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Promotion Coordinator CALLIE REESE
HEARST COSMOPOLITAN.COM SALES TEAM
SVP, Chief Revenue Officer TODD HASKELL
Executive Director, Sales and Marketing TARA SCHMITT
Digital Sales Managers NICOLE ABBONDANDOLO,
CECILIA DILELLO, SUSAN FARRIS
Senior Marketing Managers ALLISON MATTHEWS,
CORINNE TISEI
COSMOPOLITAN MILLENNIAL ADVISORY BOARD
Chair LINDSEY POLLAK
Board CHRISTINE HASSLER, NADIRA HIRA, CHELSEA
KROST, MARIA RAMIREZ, JOAN SNYDER KUHL
PRODUCTION
Group Production Director CHUCK LODATO
Group Production Manager JULIETTE CIACCIA
Associate Production Manager DEIDRA J. ROBINSON

25
 2,000 Cosmo
readers attended
from all over
the world!

MAKE
YOUR
MOVE!
FOR ME, THE MOST THRILLING PART
My love of fashion
emerged while mak-
ing clothes for my troll
dolls—like this one from
of our Fun Fearless Life Week-
DreamWorks Anima-
end at Lincoln Center was get-
tion’s upcoming movie
ting to talk to so many of you
musical Trolls.
during lunch breaks and at the TELL US WHAT YOU
party. Many of you explained how THINK OF COSMO
you already felt you were in a rut and AND YOU
not going where you want to go fast conference. For those
enough. Others of you expressed anxi- of you who couldn’t
COULD WIN
ety that you haven’t found the right make it, she shares $5,000!
career. I know many of you assumed some of her action plan What do you love?
that I knew from the start what I with you on page 186. What would you
wanted to do for a career. Not true. I We love stories change? You’ll
too felt stuck or off course at times. about fearless women be automatically
In fact, it was only when I was and the experience of Olivia Reichert entered for a chance
to win $5,000. Just
interviewed recently and the questions and Christina Gambaro struck us as
visit FebruarySurvey
turned to my childhood that I realized a wonderful love story followed by a
.Cosmopolitan.com.
my early years held clues to my later profound injustice. The couple had

career. At age 9, I started my own mag-
azine, which I duly delivered to all our
neighbors. And I would spend hours
designing clothes from scraps of fabric
for my extensive collection of trolls and
Barbies to wear. So here I am, thinking
my work at a magazine with an interest
in fashion came about through a some-
what random series of choices, when
actually the activities that brought me
such joy in my youth could have pre-
dicted that this job would be one I’d
find both energizing and satisfying.
It’s possible that your younger
years hold clues to your ideal future.
Go detective on yourself and see what
hints old photos and journals hold.
Ask your family what your early inter-
ests were. This process is something
Meg Jay, PhD, author of The Defining
Decade, talked about onstage at our
BEN GOLDSTEIN/STUDIO D. CLOCKWISE FROM LEFT: ALLIE KIRCHER; ANTHONY COOK; GABRIELA HERMAN.
just gotten married and were buying a
house together when they were forced
to resign from their jobs at a Catho-
lic high school because their marriage
conflicted with the school’s values. The
celebrations around gay marriage—
now legal in 35 states and D.C.—can
overshadow a bleaker number: In 29
states, it is legal for an employer to fire
someone for being gay. I think you’ll be
inspired by Reichert’s and Gambaro’s
words on page 192; I know I am.
Joanna Coles
Editor-in-Chief
joannacoles@cosmopolitan.com
Facebook.com/JoannaColesCosmo
Twitter: @JoannaColes

26 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015

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In Her Own Words

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Likes!
866,000
If I dumped out my purse

To take a killer Instagram

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CONFESSIONS
You reveal your most EMBARRASSING,
RIDICULOUS, WHAT-WAS-I-THINKING moments.
EDITED BY MARINA KHIDEKEL

“My first kiss

happened on a
boat that was
parked on land.
I stepped back
from the kiss and
fell into a bush!
I had battle
wounds. It was
an ongoing joke
for months.”
—LAURA C., 23,
waitress and writer,
from Rockaway
Beach, NY

“I’m known to
wander off. I
lose my friends, 3
my phone dies.
I had to go into “I was in a
a condo show playing
building once Cinderella. I ran
to charge my toward Prince
phone. Except I Charming and
had only shorts face-planted on
and a bikini top stage. Prince
on! Super Charming, who
embarrassing.” was a friend of
—RENESHA Y., 25, mine, started
music journalist, laughing instead
from New York, NY of helping me.”
—SAMANTHA B., 25,
actor, from Los,
Angeles, CA

REPORTED BY ANNA BRESLAW AND HELIN JUNG

PHOTOGRAPHED BY NAOMI NISHI
[No. 4]

THIS
TIME,
IT’S
PERSONAL
“I posted as my 5
ex-boyfriend on GUY CONFESSION
Craigslist’s Men Seek-
“I hate doing
ing Men section and laundry. It’s my
included his number.” least favorite
—LIZ J., 23 thing ever. I will
wait until the
last possible
moment to do
A DUDE REACTS it. I’ve definitely
“SOMEONE done the sniff
I KNOW test on my
DID THAT, undies and
EXCEPT SHE reworn them.”
POSTED HIS PHONE —BEN M., 27,
NUMBER AND visual artist, from
Westerville, OH
WROTE, ‘GIVING
AWAY FREE BJS ALL
NIGHT!’ SO IT
COULD BE WORSE.”
—JON B., 27

[No. 6]

Ten
Points for [No. 7] [No. 8]

Gryffindor “Recently one GUY CONFESSION

“I was at dinner with morning after I’d slept Neighbor-

my mom, and these
two guys asked if over, my boyfriend hood
I was Emma Watson.
I put my finger over
told me, as he went Watch
“A cop caught me
my lips in a ‘shhh’ to tenderly brush having sex with a girl
motion and told
the hair out of my in my car and said,
OPPOSITE PAGE, BOTTOM RIGHT: REBECCA GREENFIELD.

them in a British ‘There’s a bathhouse

accent that my mum
and I want to enjoy
face, that I farted in down the street. You
ourselves without my sleep.” should go there.’ It was
so weird.” —COLE C., 21
any paparazzi. After —ZSALYN J., 21

that, people started

snapping pictures
WE KNOW YOU HAVE CONFESSIONS TO SHARE.…E-MAIL THE DIRTY DETAILS TO
of us ‘nonchalantly.’” CONFESSIONS@COSMOPOLITAN.COM, OR TWEET YOUR TALES TO @COSMOPOLITAN!
—LEXI B., 22

32 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015

[No. 9]

“My really hot ex-boyfriend had asthma.

Ever since, I’ve been really weirdly turned on
whenever a guy uses an inhaler.” —STACY R., 27

[No. 10] [No. 11]

GUY CONFESSION
Cash or
CHARITY Charge
CASE “I was returning
“I ripped my pants in something and 12
the middle of my shift the salesgirl
“I was trying to be
as a waiter and had to was shocked. I’d sexy at a bar to
staple them together forgotten that when get a hot guy’s
and keep serving. The I unexpectedly had attention and just
last customers left me company, I’d shoved spilled beer down
my mouth! We
a tip with a note that my vibrator in spent all night
said: ‘For a new pair of the bag.” —AUDRA G., 26 together. He
pants.’” — SEAN M., 22 thought the beer
thing was hot!”
—JOLIE S., 23,
[No. 13] GUY CONFESSION stylist, from Boca
Raton, FL
“My first night as a delivery guy, I locked my keys
in my car. I broke my window so they thought I’d
been vandalized. They never found out.” —JIM B., 22

[No. 15]

❝When I was
a kid, my mom
14
used to tell me to
“She hates go walk around
when I don’t
wash my hair.”
the neighborhood
“It smells like —MAXX S., 27, for exercise, but
Gorgonzola club publicist, from I would just hide
cheese.” Seattle, WA
behind the house
CELEB
—MURIEL B., 23,
C ONF E
S S ION
model, from for like 45 minutes
instead.❞
Cascavel, Brazil

—DANIELLE BROOKS, actor,

Orange Is the New Black

33
 “An hour into our
first date, he put
on music and
proceeded to show
me his purple silk
thong.”—LISA B., 27

“When we went
to have sex for the
first time and I
asked him if he had
a condom, he
informed me that
‘CONDOMS
ARE FOR HOOKERS,
not nice, pretty
girls like you.’
I got out of there.”
—SAMANTHA B., 25

WORST DATES EVER!

Enjoy these readers’ doozies, and be glad this wasn’t you.

“On our first date,

he took me to an

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: EVERETT COLLECTION; CREATIVE CROP/GETTY IMAGES; ROGER T SCHMIDT/GETTY IMAGES;
outdoor concert

PHOTO RESEARCHERS/GETTY IMAGES; PETER DAZELEY/GETTY IMAGES (2).SOME NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED.
and insisted the
whole night that
he knew I wanted
to hook up in the “He told me I must be really
family-size porta- good at HAND JOBS
potty.”—HANNAH V., 20 because I have a habit of talking
with my hands.”—GINA R., 27

“He was convinced he was

Christian Grey—he even changed
my name to Anastasia in his
phone. He sent his assistant to
my work with a card and a large
glass rose wrapped in gray
tissue paper.”—SIMI C., 22

34 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015

TWEET US YOUR WORST DATE EVER @COSMOPOLITAN,
OR E-MAIL US AT WORSTDATE@COSMOPOLITAN.COM.
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CANNON/GETTY IMAGES; AKM IMAGES/GSI MEDIA; FAMEFLYNET PICTURES; SPLASH NEWS; AKM IMAGES/GSI MEDIA; FAMEFLYNET PICTURES; KRED/
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SLEEPY
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HUF F Y

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OFJAMIE
Like his character Christian Grey in this

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month’s Fifty Shades, Jamie Dornan has a
PO UT Y

Someone give this man his own set of emoji!

F L E X-
Y

37
 THE

HOTNESS
WHO The 27-year-old star of Step Up All In
WHERE TO CATCH HIM Sexing up (and
freaking out) J.Lo as the titular character
in the thriller The Boy Next Door and
bro-ing down as roadie Rio in the
upcoming Jem and the Holograms.

JUST DO IT
“Who makes the first move
shouldn’t be gender specific. If you
like someone, just go up to them
and start a conversation—have fun
with it. So many guys are waiting
for the girl to make the first move,
and so many girls are waiting for
the guy to make the first move.
Then you just end up by yourself,
watching New Girl with popcorn.”

ON HIS SIGNATURE MOVE

“I was never really accepted by the
cool kids, but I never had a hard
time with the girls. My true self is a
goofball, and that was my way of
testing any girl I was talking to. The
second she ended up laughing at a
dumb joke—the one you know no
one thinks is funny—that’s when I
knew there was something there.”

PLAYER, REFORMED
“I’ve broken a few hearts. I’ve
realized that there are certain things
[I did] that made people fall for me
or have more feelings toward me
than I intended. I ended up hurting
them really badly because it was
never really there for me. If he only
calls you when he wants to call you,
texts you when he wants to text
you…always hits you up at night
instead of during the day—those are
ALISON DYER/CPI-SYNDICATION

signs. A lot of girls overlook that, but

no. If he wants to have a girlfriend
WHO ARE YOU
OBSESSED WITH? and really likes you, he’s going to
Tweet make that time and actually treat
@Cosmopolitan
#CosmoGuy and you how you should be treated.”
you could see him
on this page! —RACHEL MOSELY

38
 FUN, FEARLESS...FAIL! From wow to WTF, we call the trends like we see ’em.

HERE COMES THE BRIDE

Your
“something
old” wins.

FUN As seen on TV! For $2,000 a day, FEARLESS Food, flowers, the dress, FAIL You may kiss the…butt? Bridal
Downton Abbey diehards can borrow Lady even facials—couple barters their way to Booty Veils, for when penis necklaces
Mary’s wedding tiara. Castle not included. getting entire $80,000 wedding comped. simply aren’t enough for your bach party.

FREE BALLIN’
THE

COURTESY BRIDEKINI; COURTESY THE FESTICLE; GETTY IMAGES (3); THOMAS CANTLEY/SPLASH NEWS; GETTY IMAGES; COURTESY MARVEL;
FROM TOP, LEFT TO RIGHT: COURTESY PBS; ANDREW PRINCE/KLEINFELD BRIDAL; COURTESY ISAAC AARON MEDIA; GETTY IMAGES;
Warning:
May shrink in
icy weather.

FUN The not-so-secret ingredient for FEARLESS Man diagnosed with FAIL Truck Nutz boasts a “takes a lickin’
food fair The Festicle: testicles! Chefs testicular cancer rolls a 6-foot ball across guarantee,” aka the only licking a guy with a
battle to make the tastiest (lamb) balls. the U.S. to raise cancer awareness. scrotum on his car is getting, like, ever.

COURTESY DEAR KATE (4); ALAMY; GETTY IMAGES; MATTEL/SPLASH NEWS.

Hey, how’s it
hanging?
Rest in…
action?

FUN Swinging into comic-book stores FEARLESS Dear Kate launches FAIL These are not toys. Tombstones
this month: Silk, Marvel’s badass Asian- League of Ladies collection, featuring real- are so 20th century, so Cremation Solutions
American superheroine with Spidey sense. life lady superheroes like Frida Kahlo. offers personalized action-figure urns.

40 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015

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POOR
Model

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UNFORTUNATE
Jennifer
Nicole Lee
THE BUSH
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FROM TOP, LEFT TO RIGHT: SANTI/SPLASH NEWS; SAKURA/WENN; MARK

attendee
Expo
Exxxotica

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ANGELINA VENTURELLA/SPLASH NEWS; FUTURE IMAGE/STARTRAKS.
#REALTALK
CAN WE
NOT TALK
ABOUT
MY RACE
FOR A
MINUTE?
CALLING PEOPLE OUT FOR
THEIR DEGREE OF BLACKNESS IS
RIDICULOUS. WRITER, PRODUCER,
AND AWKWARD BLACK GIRL
STAR ISSA RAE EXPLAINS.
I love being black;
that’s not a problem. The problem
is that I don’t want to always talk
about it, because honestly, talking
about being black is extremely tir-
ing. I don’t know how Al Sharpton
and Jesse Jackson do it. People
who talk, think, and breathe race
every single day—how? Aren’t
they exhausted?
The pressure to contribute
Issa Rae is
developing
a show for
HBO.
to these conversations now that
we have a black president is even
more infuriating. “What do you
think about what’s going on in the
world and how our black presi-
dent is handling it?” asks a race
baiter. “It’s all good, I guess,” I
want to answer with a Kanye
shrug. “I’m over it.” But am I?
Could I be, even if I wanted to?
Even now, I feel obligated to
write about race. It’s as though it’s
expected of me to acknowledge
what we all already know. The
truth is, I slip in and out of my
black consciousness, as if I’m in
a racial coma. Sometimes, I’m so
deep in my anger, my need to stir
change, that I can’t see anything
outside the lens of race.
At other times, I feel guilty
about my apathy. But then, isn’t
this what those who came before
me fought for? The right not to
have to deal with race? If faced
with a choice between fighting
until the death for freedom and
civil rights and living life with-
out any acknowledgment of race,
they’d choose the latter.
Growing up in Potomac,
Maryland, was easy. I had a “rain-
bow coalition” of friends of all
ethnicities. I knew I was black.
I knew there was a history that
COPYRIGHT © 2015 BY ISSA RAE PRODUCTIONS, INC. FROM THE MISADVENTURES OF AWKWARD BLACK GIRL, BY
accompanied my skin color, and
ISSA RAE, TO BE PUBLISHED BY 37 INK/ATRIA BOOKS, A DIVISION OF SIMON & SCHUSTER, INC. PRINTED BY
my parents taught me to be proud
of it. End of story.
All that changed when my
family moved to Los Angeles
and placed me in a middle school
where my blackness was con-
stantly questioned—and not nec-
essarily in the traditional sense,
i.e. “You talk white, Oreo girl”
or “You can’t dance, white girl.”
PERMISSION. THIS SPREAD: CHRISTINA GANDOLFO (7).
Those claims were arguable, for
the most part. My biggest frus-
tration in the challenge to prove
my “blackness” usually stemmed
from two very annoying, very
repetitive situations.
SITUATION 1: “I’m not even black
and I’m blacker than you.” It’s one
thing when other African-Ameri-
cans call me out on my race card,
but when people outside my eth-
nicity have the audacity to ques-
tion how “down” I am because of
the bleak, stereotypical picture
pop culture has painted of black
women, it’s a whole other thing. I
recall a time when I was having
a heated discussion with a white,
male classmate. Our eighth grade
class was on a field trip, and the
bus driver blasted Puff Daddy.
“Puff Daddy is whack,” my
classmate said. “Puff Daddy is
tight,” I retorted. He rolled his
eyes and said, “Have you heard
of [insert underground rapper]?
Now, he’s dope.” I hadn’t, but I
couldn’t let this white boy defeat
me in rap knowledge, especially
as others started to listen. “Yeah,
I know him. He’s not dope,” I lied
to save face. He asked me to name
which songs were “not dope.”
Panic set in. I was exposed.
As he rattled off names of
MCs, he made me feel as though
my credibility as a black per-
son relied on my knowledge of
hip-hop culture. My iden-
tity had been reduced to the “I knew I
Bad Boy label clique as this
boy claimed my black card as
was black.
his own. Of course, as I grew I knew
older, I realized that there
was more to being black than
there was a
a knowledge of rap music, history
and I didn’t have to live up to
this pop cultural archetype. I
that accom-
began to take pride in the fact panied my
that I couldn’t be reduced to
a stereotype and I didn’t have skin color,
to be. This leads me to my and my
next situation.
parents
SITUATION 2: “Black people
don’t do that.” Or so I’m told
taught me
by a black person. These, too, to be proud
are derived from stereotypes
shaped by pop culture. The
of it. End
difference is that in these sit- of story.”
uations, we black people are
the ones buying into the
stereotypes.
When I was a teen-
ager, others questioned
my blackness because
some of my life choices
weren’t considered to
be “black”: joining the
swim team when “black
people don’t swim” or
choosing to be a veg-
“I’ll take
IDFWU for
etarian when blacks clearly love Infinity, Alex.”
—@IssaRae
chicken. These choices and the
positive and negative responses
to them helped to broaden my
own perspective and eventually
spurn these self-imposed limita-
tions. But not before embarrass-
ing the hell out of myself in a poor
attempt to prove I was “down.”
In seventh grade, I submitted an
English project in Ebonics just to
prove that I could talk and write
“black.” I was trying to prove it to
myself as much as I was to every-
one around me.
Even post-college, I’d overtip
to demonstrate I was one of the
good ones. Only recently have I
come to ask, What am I trying
to prove and to whom am I prov-
ing it? For the majority of my
life, I cared too much about how
my blackness was perceived, but
now? I couldn’t care less. Call
it maturation or denial or self-
hatred. I give no f%^&s. And it
feels great. I’ve decided to focus
only on the positivity of being
black and especially of being a
black woman. Am I supposed to
feel oppressed? Because I don’t.
Should I feel marginalized? I pre-
fer to think of myself as belonging
to an exclusive club.
Being made to feel not black
enough by “down” white people
on one hand and not black
enough by blacks on the other
has shaped a more comfortably
black me. Who is to say what
we do and don’t do? What we
can and can’t do? The very defini-
tion of blackness is as broad
as that of whiteness. As CNN
produces specials about us and
white and Latino rappers feel
culturally dignified in using
the N-word, our collective grasp
on blackness is becoming
more and more elusive. And
that may not be a bad thing. ■
Adapted from The Misadven-
tures of Awkward Black Girl, by
Issa Rae, available February 2
wherever books are sold.
45
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PHOTOGRAPHED BY SILJA MAGG

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47
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Necklace,
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48
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50 PHOTOGRAPHED BY BEN GOLDSTEIN

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TO REACH FASHION
NIRVANA, MAKE LEATHER,
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JEANS YOUR NEW JAMS. Jeans,
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$179, joes
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Sweater, Topshop,
$96, topshop.com

E S
DR EREOS
IN S T In this s e
shion
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o
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MANAGEMENT. MANICURE: CASEY HERMAN AT KATE RYAN INC. FOR CHANEL LE VERNIS.
Boots, Dr.
Martens,
$130,
drmartens
ors,
.com/us ichael K
ichael M
Dress, M ct Michael Kors dorf
le rg
$225, se t, RtA, $225, Be
hir l,
stores. S Shoes, Nasty Ga
n. s,
Goodma al.com. Earring
yg
$78, nast lace, $275, thin a
k
$115, nec 50, Scosha, scosh 48,
1 $1
bangle, $ , The 2 Bandits,
ff gle,
.com. Cu s.com. Gold ban ne
dit j, $42, jh
e
the2ban x L u v A
iko wn
Jhené A Rings, Jhené’s o
.
aiko.com
Jacket,
Diesel,
$698, shop
.diesel.com

52 FASHION EDITOR: JAMES WORTHINGTON DEMOLET

2x new

Use new Pantene Conditioner

for hair that’s 2x stronger
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*strength against damage; Pantene shampoo and conditioner system
vs. the shampoo alone. ©2015 P&G
 Earrings,
Jacquie
Aiche, $165,
shopbop
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Jacket,
DKNY, $395,
select DKNY
locations

Pants, Piperlime
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piperlime.com

BOUNCE TO THE BEAT

OF AN IRRESISTIBLE
MASH-UP OF ATHLETIC
WEAR AND GLAM HEELS.

ilar
50, sim illy
illy, $4
Top, M vailable at m ik, $89,
a on
styles ra, Kriss So ans,
B e
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o h
kriss-s p, $70, tops ided,
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S u
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Boots, DKNY,
Bra, Collina $275, select
Strada, $230, DKNY stores
collina
strada.com

54
 Tunic,
Grace and
Lace, $53,
graceand
lace.com

Cuff, R.J.
Graziano, Dress,
$50, Forever 21,
rjgraziano $19.80,
.com forever
21.com

T-shirt, Pam
Nordstrom & Gela, $125,
.
$238, sele Jeans, J Brand,
ct
stores. Sho Bloomingdale’s
es, Jimm
$595, jim y Choo,
m
Necklace, ychoo.com.
Bent by C
$50, vinn ou
ielouise.co rtney,
V bracelet m
, The 2 Ban .
$118, the2 d
bandits.co its,
Black/gol m.
d br
$110, scos acelet, Scosha,
h
bangle, Jh a.com. Gold
en
$42, jhen é Aiko x Luv Aj, FLASHBACK TO WOODSTOCK WITH
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FESTIVAL-READY TIE-DYED PIECES,

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Jeans,
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Bag, Rebecca
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56
 PLAY IT
BY EARLayering isn’t just for the
sweaters. Frame your face with
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1 Earrings, Sydney Evan, sydneyevan.com 2 Earrings,

Delfina Delettrez, $550, matchesfashion.com
3 Stud, Sydney Evan, sydneyevan.com 4 Earrings, Lizzie
Fortunato, $240, shop.lizziefortunato.com 5 Earrings,
THP, $50, thpshop.co 6 Ear cuff, Bijules, bijulesnyc.com
7 Stud, Pamela Love, $90, twistonline.com 8 Earrings,
Ca & Lou, $313.40, saks.com

58 ACCESSORIES EDITOR: KATHY LEE

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PHOTOGRAPHED BY WILL MEBANE 63

 ASK
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HOW TO BLUSH UP
If blush makes you nervous—chill! We have your easy-to-follow guide to nailing one
of this season’s biggest (and most face-flattering!) beauty trends. BY DEANNA PAI

IF YOU’RE MEDIUM

STEP 1
FIRST, FIND YOUR
Peach has the perfect
mix of natural-looking tawny
tones and face-
brightening pink for you.
HOTTEST HUE! 3 Rimmel London Stay
Blush isn’t one size fits Blushed Liquid Cheek Tint
all—use your skin tone as in Peach Flush, $3.29,
your guide for finding drugstores 4 Diorblush in
your most flattering flush. Peach Splendor
#536, $44, dior.com

Q+A YOUR BURNING BLUSH Q’S

2

Q How do I avoid Q What if I’ve Q Can I wear blush

fading? put on too much? with bronzer?
A Layering is key. A Use a dense A You can and
JON PATERSON/STUDIO D. FROM TOP: DAVIDE GALLIZIO/IMAXTREE.

First, apply cream brush to buff you should.

IF YOU’RE FAIR blush, sweep it out or top But don’t just
Bubble-gum pink pops translucent pow- it with a sub bronzer for
MATTEO SCARPELLINI/IMAXTREE. GREG KESSLER.

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so it won’t clash with with powder blush powder to tone your faux glow
in a shade simi- down some of look natural, use
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1 By Terry Cellularose says makeup artist suggests sweep on a pink-
Blush Glacé in Rose
Melba, $58, barneys.com Sonia Kashuk. Kashuk. based blush.
2 Revlon Powder Blush in
Haute Pink, $10,
revlon.com

68 WHAT ARE THE COSMO EDITORS’ FAVORITE BLUSHES? FIND

OUT ON THE DIGITAL EDITION: MY.COSMOPOLITAN.COM.
 8

STEP 2
GET THE IDEAL FINISH
STAIN These super-sheer liquid
blushes sink naturally into IF YOU’RE DARK
skin. PRO TIP A dab can turn into 7 Magenta has
a splotch, so go for a brush to
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Cole, a Becca makeup artist. on your darker tone.
7 Laura Geller Baked Gelato
CREAM A beginner’s blush BFF. Swirl Blush in Plumberry, $26,
They blend easily and can be Ulta 8 Lancôme Blush Subtil
built up gradually. PRO TIP Fingers Shimmer in Rose Paradis,
leave visible fingerprints, so use $29.50, lancome.com
a brush here too, says Kashuk.

CREAM-POWDER The ease

of a cream with the long wear
of a powder. PRO TIP As with
any liquid or cream blush, layer
over foundation but under
translucent powder. Cream
doesn’t blend well if applied on
top, says Kashuk.

MATTE POWDER L ayers

seamlessly and staves off shine.
PRO TIP Use a fluffy brush, says
Kashuk. Less dense hairs mean
less product and more control
over how much you apply.
JEREMY SCOTT

the tan line

Run blush from
the high point of
the color curve one cheekbone,
Meet the state- straight across
ment cheek! the bridge of
Apply blush in a the nose to
C shape from the opposite
above brows to cheekbone for a
the high points flirty, first-day-
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PAMELLA ROLAND

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artist Matin artist Kabuki.
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the under-eye glow

Work blush in
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SUNO

5 youthful glow,
says makeup
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©2014 Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company. All Rights Reserved. 5,® Ascent,® Wintermint,® Stimulate Your Senses® and all affiliated designs are trademarks of the Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company or its affiliates.
 A sexy new spin on the milkmaid
braid, this hybrid combines the
best of two worlds: beachy
waves and a face-framing plait.

Prep strands with a

few spritzes of salt spray
(like Tresemmé Perfectly
(un)Done Sea Salt Spray,
$7, drugstores), and
scrunch to lock in the tex-
ture. Next, create a center
part and French braid
a two-inch section down
along your hairline on
both sides. Stop braiding
below your ears, and

SEXY pin with a bobby pin.

NEW
WAYS TO
WEAR
BRAIDS
This season, everyone’s going
to be rocking braids. With
these stepped-up styles—and
a little help from supermodel
Nina Agdal—you can stand
out from the plait pack.
BY MARTA TOPRAN

71
 Color Theory
Braids can be hard to see
in your hair if you have a
monochromatic hue (think
allover platinum, solid
brown, or jet-black). To really
make your braids pop,
consider getting highlights
or lowlights (or both!).
Even subtle ones create
tonal differences that
stand out when woven,
says Matrix celebrity
stylist George Papanikolas.

Braids just got

badass thanks to this
faux-hawk style.

To rock it, create

three rows of small
French braids (they’re
easier to do than corn-
rows) on both sides
of your head, leaving the
top section loose and
unbraided. For height,
lightly tease the roots at
your crown and spray
with hair spray (try
L’Oréal Paris Advanced
Hairstyle Lock It Bold
Control Hair Spray,
$5, drugstores), then
pull all your hair,
braids included, into
a low ponytail.

72
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advancedhaircare.com ©2015 L’Oréal USA, Inc.

 The key to turning up your
standard side plait: mini-
braids and baubles.

Start by spritzing
strands with a dry tex-
turizing spray (we love
Garnier Fructis Style
De-Constructed Texture
Tease, $5, drugstores)
from root to tip, then
sweep hair to one side.
Divvy up your strands
into three sections. Braid
one of them, weaving in
a necklace or a string of
beads (just loop a bobby
pin through the eye of the
clasp to secure it to your
hair). Then create a larger
braid using the mini,
blinged-out braid and the
two loose sections, tying
it off at the end. Finish
by using your fingers to
gently pull the braid apart
to fake fuller hair.

PHOTOGRAPHED BY ANTOINE VERGLAS

74
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 When your mom turns up the glam—maybe even getting some “work” done—that’s
her business. So why does it feel so weird? BY HANNAH MORRILL

ful #TBTs of their young, at a beauty magazine was a

her from the way her slick,
lotioned skin smelled before
bed and, in the mornings, by
the warm cloud of hair spray
and Lancôme Magie Noire
that hung in her bathroom.
beautiful mothers in head
scarves and red lipstick, but I
don’t really idolize my mom’s
glamour. If anything, I sort
of look down on it. As a child,
she’d tug a brush through
my ringlets, only to have me
rough them up seconds later.
“I’m a ragamuffin!” I’d reply
(a word my father had taught
me). By choosing to play
sports, my sweatpants and
makeup-free face became
an armor against her world.
It wasn’t a well-considered
rebellion. I just didn’t want to
be like my mother. She fussed
over her looks; I was relaxed
about mine.
It’s hard to say whether
my job, at 24, as an assistant
bigger surprise to me or to
everyone who’s ever known
me. (For me, it was just
an opportunity to write.) I
quickly embarked on a crash
course in being attractive,
subtly trying to pick up cues
from the legion of coiffed,
manicured experts around
me. Once, I remember scut-
tling to the bathroom to take
out my go-to hairstyle—the
pinned-back bangs I think
people call the Yorkie—after
a hairstylist I was interview-
ing poked fun at it. In those
first few weeks, my mom
called to tell me she was get-
ting a face-lift. I was furious.
“Why?” I spat. “Who
do you need to impress?”
FROM TOP: GILBERT CARRASQUILLO/FILMMAGIC; RACHEL MURRAY/GETTY IMAGES.

Then, at 15, a guy friend—

As a kid, I was blithely
unaware of this. I only knew
her looks were important to
i.e., a handsome, uninter-
ested upperclassman—came
to pick me up. As he shook
my mom’s hand, I noticed
his cheeks flush and his pos-
ture loosen. Backing out of
my driveway in his dad’s navy
Volvo, he turned to me and
confided, “Your mom is a
total MILF!” At the time, I
felt flattered. I thought of the
other moms, with their round
tummies and crinkly eyes.
Prettier was better, right?
Today, friends post pride-

Now in her mid-50s, she’d
recently remarried, which
I’d naively thought would
usher in an era of com-
fortably dark roots and
unscented hand lotion.
She sighed and trotted
out a sound, if rehearsed,
response. “I look older than
I feel,” she said. “If there’s
something I could do to
change that, why wouldn’t
I?” We hung up quickly.
I was so angry—but why?
Although still beautiful,
she wasn’t wrong about her
looks. Her eyelids were per-
manently puffy, her cheeks
heavily lined. The last few
years, she’d taken to cup-
ping the sides of her face
and tugging back the skin at
her temples—her own little
trial face-lift. And I had to
FROM TOP: ANGELA WEISS/GETTY IMAGES; MICHAEL TRAN/FILMMAGIC.
admit that she looked better.
But instead of feeling sup-
portive, I was jealous. I had
subconsciously been look-
ing forward to heading up
the beauty train, gracefully
alighting into my attrac-
tive young adult years as she
resignedly slipped into her
golden ones. It was about
time. Her face-lift shattered
a tiny seed of hope that one
day my mom—bright, tal-
ented, but not maternal
in the least—would be the
mother and me the daugh-
ter, and I wouldn’t feel like
we were two women silently
competing to be the prettiest
girl in the room.
Instead of balking, daughter
Kim Kardashian West seems
supportive—“I’m totally not
against plastic surgery,” she
told Nightline in 2010. She’s
also, it’s speculated, had
work done herself. I felt by
endorsing my mother’s face-
lift, I would be ushering in
a lifetime of nips, tucks, and
duck lips for myself.
It turns out this idea is
not totally crazy. “There’s
a significant correlation
between those who choose
to have plastic surgery and
seeing a family member
have positive results,” says
Michael Edwards, MD,
president of the American
Society for Aesthetic Plas-
tic Surgery. “Doctors can
market themselves all they
want, but if your mom or
your aunt or your sister has
a face-lift and she’s happy,
that’s much more likely to
get you into the office.”
A few days after her sur-
gery, my mom’s number
flashed dimly on the hand-
set at my desk. I picked up to
the sound of muffled tears.
“Hannah,” she said, try-
ing to stay composed, “it’s
really bad.…” And then it
all came tumbling out: how
invasive the procedure had
been, how the pain medi-
cine made her sick, and how
her friend Claire told her
she looked like the Bride of
Frankenstein.
“I kind of do!” she
admitted.
For months, she’d e-mail
me upside-down, behemoth
jpegs of her progress (com-
puters are not her forte). Her
hopeful smile, the traces of
makeup around her eyes,
and her cartoonishly swol-
FEBRUARY 2015 | COSMOPOLITAN
len ears all made my throat
tighten and my eyes well.
She looked awful. “Gorge!”
I’d write back. “Your eyes
look amaze!!” It would take
almost a year for her face to
“settle.”
In the end, she looked like
my mom, only happier and
more well-rested. Since then,
I’ve worked to accept her as
she is: beautiful, hilarious,
vain, another woman trying
to find her place in the world.
As for me? At 31, I’m a
sunscreen and retinol
devotee, an expert with
eyeliner, and my nails are
rarely bare. One of the der-
matologists I work with
offered me free Botox, and
I chickened out at the last
minute. To be fair, his office
was far and inconvenient,
but it also feels like a
big leap. There’s a part of me
that doesn’t think I look too
bad, furrowed brow and
shallow crow’s-feet included.
As much as I’ve been influ-
enced by my mother and
by my job, the little girl
with tangled curls is still in
there too. I guess I’m
not ready to say good-bye
to her just yet. ■
77

“ I Couldn’t
Stop
My Hair ”
We all have secrets, says
Mandi Line, the costume designer
for Pretty Little Liars. The difference
is that everyone can see hers.
78 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015
I remember the
first time I real-
ized what I do. I was
9 years old, watching
TV on the couch with
my mom. She said, confused,
“What are you doing to your-
self?!” It took a second to fig-
ure out what she was talking
about, because it was some-
thing I did without even real-
izing it. Raise hand, pull out
a hair (pop!), look at the root,
throw it down. Repeat.
It escalated quickly from
random yanking to hours of
pulling. It felt amazing, like a
release of tension in my scalp.
But afterward, I would be so
sad and so ashamed. A girl’s
hair feels like everything to
her…and mine was gone. And
I was responsible for this?
This was before the days
of Google, when we would’ve
quickly discovered that I
was dealing with trichotillo-
mania, an impulse disorder
(possibly genetic) that causes
people to pull out their hair.
But at the time, doctors didn’t
know much about it. Thera-
pists tried to tell me I’d been
beaten or molested (abso-
lutely not). I took antidepres-
sants, which work for some
people but didn’t help me.
In high school, I would
have traded everything I had
just to be able to put my hair
in a ponytail. I was the home-
coming queen, a cheerleader,
the basketball captain…yet
I didn’t date, never swam,
and avoided sleepovers, all
because of my fear of being
different.
When I was 19, I met my
first love. After three years
of trying to hide my disor-
der, I sat him down—bawl-
Up to
10 million do it.
ing, wanting to
barf—and told him.
His response: “I
know, babe. It wasn’t
up to me to ask why
you wore those bandanas. I
knew you’d tell me when you
were ready. Hair or no hair,
you are the most beautiful
person I have ever known.”
From that point on,
there was no stopping me. I
couldn’t be afraid of “what
if.” I am so thankful for him,
reminding me that I’m so
much more than my hair.
Ironically, my fear, my
shame, ended up turning
into a gift that I wouldn’t
trade for anything. In high
school, I had begun making
myself wigs and sewing cool
hats, hair wraps, and head-
bands. Experimenting with
fashion turned out to be bet-
ter for me than any therapy
session or medicine. Even
though it was all to hide my
bald head, the creativity I
used is the only reason I am
where I am today.
Now, at 36, I’ve designed
costumes for more than 30
films, dressed hundreds of
rock bands, and I’m the cos-
tume designer for Pretty Lit-
tle Liars and have worked on
Faking It and Shameless. I
have even developed my own
LEFT: LEN GRANTHAM/STOCKSY. THIS IS A PROFESSIONAL MODEL. TOP: GREGORY METCALF.
Pretty Little Liars–inspired
clothing line with Warner
Bros. at Aéropostale.
I am a triathlete, a vege-
tarian, a best friend, and a
mentor and have found the
raddest love. My friends all
know when I need that little
extra support—and I’m there
for them with their issues too.
I’ll never be cured, and I
still have nights when I real-
ize I’ve pulled my way to
another bald spot. I go in the
bathroom, cry for a minute,
and forgive myself. I take it
as a reminder: Never forget
to take care of yourself…and
never stop growing. ■
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 FORGET THAT
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THE SKINNY

HOT SECRET FOR

BETTER SKIN
There are a lot of reasons to have sex: The orgasm!
The calorie burn! The cuddle sesh after! As if these weren’t enough,
doing the deed can also score you great skin.
Here, the skin-care perks of getting it on. BY DEANNA PAI

It Gives You It Banishes to be lower when you’re

a Rosy Glow Breakouts doing it on the regular.
Just like any other Who knew? Doing Cue clear skin.
form of physical exer- the dirty actually helps
cise, having sex boosts clean out your pores. It Hydrates Skin
your circulation. To During sex, your Regular action keeps
deal with this increased body releases mood- hormone levels in
blood flow, the small boosting hormones check, says sexologist
capillaries in your face called beta-endor- Yvonne Fulbright, PhD.
expand, giving you a phins, which have an This is key with estro-
pretty, healthy flush— anti-inflammatory gen, which plays a large
like you’ve just run a effect. Your levels of role in how well-mois-
really fun 5K. cortisol—the notori- turized your skin is.
ous stress hormone that Plus, it also promotes
It Staves Off exacerbates acne—tend collagen production!
Signs of Aging
Consider sex a sup-
plement to your anti- How the Pill Plays With Your Skin
wrinkle cream. Balanced The latest oral contraceptives are actually FDA-
estrogen levels don’t just approved to treat acne. How? They decrease
keep skin soft, they also the production of androgens (hormones that
keep it plump. In addi- put oil glands into overdrive) so they can’t make
CHRIS CRAYMER/TRUNK ARCHIVE

tion, sex can help boost
your immune system,
says Julie Karen, MD,
which minimizes inflam-
mation, a process that,
over time, breaks down
collagen and elastin.
skin go haywire, stopping hormonal acne at
the source. It isn’t instant. “It could take about
three months until [hormones] get totally
normalized,” says Dr. Karen. It’s not a magic
bullet either—other things can cause breakouts,
so don’t abandon your acne regimen entirely.
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WHY YOU KIM
KARDASHIAN
WEST’S
contoured
LUPITA

NEED
cheeks
NYONG’O’S
bold
shadow

A GO-TO
LOOK
Celebrities have their signature KELLY
OSBOURNE’S
beauty styles. Could one
lilac hair
help you at work? BY JESSICA MATLIN

What do Lauren Conrad and Kim

Kardashian West have in common? Both
have been building their brands using
their ambition, charisma, and one very
subtle strategy: a signature beauty look.
Don’t think of it as just hair and makeup—
think of it as your professional PR.
1. It Says You’re Trustworthy
“Consistency—even in your look—
makes people trust you. It sends an
unspoken message that you can be
counted on,” says Laurin Sydney, who
coaches people for public appearances.
look, not focusing on work,” she says.
Sydney admits it’s unfair, often inaccu-
rate, but “at work, perception is reality.”
2. It’s a Visual Promotion
Keeping your beauty game tight also
conveys maturity. “Twentysomethings
who are experimenting with their
identity can appear like adolescents
who are still trying to figure it out,” says
Vivian Diller, PhD, a psychologist who
RITA
ORA’S
glam
appeal
you’re insecure and unsure of yourself.”
Take Victoria Beckham: After playing
the tanned-and-glammed soccer wife
(with numerous highlights, spiky pixies,
and extensions in between), now she
maintains a trademark bob to match her

COLLECTION; STEVE GRANITZ/WIREIMAGE; TAYLOR HILL/GETTY IMAGES; KRISTIN CALLAHAM/EVERETT COLLECTION.

JON PATERSON/STUDIO D. CLOCKWISE FROM TOP RIGHT: JAMIE MCCARTHY/WIREIMAGE; EMILEY SCHWEICH/EVERETT
“If you go to work with a bare face on specializes in women’s issues. “It’s critically acclaimed fashion career.
Monday and aqua shadow the next, it assumed that as an adult, you would
creates the perception you’re spending know yourself, your values, and your 3. It Gives You Star Quality
too much time experimenting with your look. Changing it often signals that Once you stop hopscotching between
beauty trends, you’ll stand out—in a
good way. “A beauty signature creates
a way for people to remember you,”
Easy Ways to Make a Statement says Diller. It doesn’t have to shout—
Jennifer Aniston has made the
Attention grabbing, yet work-appropriate natural look her thing for a decade-
plus!—just be consistent. If this
evokes a fear of living a beauty
Groundhog Day, relax. A
beauty signature can still
have range. If you’re
a bold-lip girl, try
The Power Brow Navy Liner An Orange Lip Dewy Skin
Strong arches A chic upgrade More fun than Make a glow-y peony one day, poppy
add instant from ho-hum red, with just as complexion the next. If you’re
sophistication. black. much impact. your thing. ZOOEY working a lob, go sleek
Anastasia Beverly Lancôme Rimmel Laura Mercier DESCHANEL’S
Hills Perfect Artliner in Moisture Renew Tinted on Thursday, shaggy on
cute
Brow Pencil in Navy, $30.50, Lipstick in Moisturizer Friday. “It can evolve,” says
Dark Brown, $23, lancome.com In Love With Illuminating, bangs
sephora.com Ginger, $7.49, $43, sephora Sydney. “Be creative within the
drugstores .com bounds of your trademark style!”

82
 SCENT THE
MOOD
A berry-spiked
candle makes
snuggle seshes
INSTA-GLOW more delicious.
This gold-flecked highlighter gives
Voluspa Petite
skin a luminous photo-ready finish. Candle in Colored
Hard Candy Sheer Glow All the Way Jar in Santiago
in In the Buff, $8, Walmart Huckleberry, $10,
voluspa.com

SOFT SERVE
Argan oil plus
vitamin-E cream:
The solution to all
your dry winter-
skin woes.
Josie Maran Argan
Infinity Intensive
Creamy Oil .5 oz.,
$10, Sephora

UNDER-
COVER
Hide last MINUTE MANI

$10,
night’s fun from Built-in base and top coats
your boss with make this a one-step wonder.
this high- Sally Hansen Complete
coverage yet Salon Manicure in Raisin

TOPS!
nondrying the Bar, $8, drugstores
concealer.
Sonia Kashuk
All Covered Up
Concealer
in Sand, $10,
Budget-friendly buys
Target that make you look (and
feel) like a million bucks
BY LAUREN BALSAMO

SOAP STAR
This neroli and orchid bar
MAKE WAVES smells so good, you can
Beach hair can be yours, skip perfume.
even in the dead of winter:
L’Occitane Néroli and
Just spray this on and air-dry. Orchidée Perfumed Soap,
Olivine Love + Salt Beach Hair $8, usa.loccitane.com
and Body Mist 2 oz., $10,
anthropologie.com
JON PATERSON/STUDIO D

SO CLUTCH EARTHY ANGEL

Your new night-out find: No random, unwanted
a purse-friendly stick for shades here—these
lip and cheek touch-ups. 12 neutral hues are
Flower Kiss Me Twice Lip practical and sexy.
& Cheek Chubby in Rosie Maybelline New York
Posie, $10, Walmart The Nudes Palette,
$10, drugstores
 RAZORS
WORST-CASE SCENARIO Staph or blood-borne viruses (like HIV)
Why? Razors can draw blood or fluids, which leave bacteria
on the blade after rinsing, says Deborah Sarnoff, MD, a derm
in NYC. Via nicks or abrasions, you’re vulnerable to a staph
infection, hepatitis, and even—although highly unlikely—HIV.

WORST-CASE SCENARIO
Conjunctivitis
Why? The damp mucous
membrane of your eye is like
a VIP entrance for bacteria.
It just doesn’t have the
same layers of protection
that the skin does, making
transmission easy for
infections like pinkeye.

“HEY, CAN I FACE-CLEANSING

BORROW THAT?”
You’d never share your toothbrush or loofah (gross!), but what about a lipstick
BRUSH
WORST-CASE SCENARIO
A skin infection
WHY?
or towel? Read this, and you’ll always know when to say “no.” BY DEANNA PAI After cleansing, those bristles
become packed with
dead skin cells and sebum,
which bacteria feed on.
Anything into the formula and
Buffing someone else’s germs
into your pores? That’s an
in a Jar
WORST-CASE SCENARIO
incubate (bacteria love a
dark, damp environment).
invitation for trouble—even
infection. Go ahead and
Dip into a bad batch and share a unit, but use your own
A skin infection you could transfer that brush head (clean it
JON PATERSON/STUDIO D. JEFFREY WESTBROOK/STUDIO D. FROM TOP: TOM

Why? Every time someone funk to your face. To mini- after each use) and replace it
Makeup Brushes dips her finger into a jar of mize the odds, stick to your after three months.
MERTON/GETTY IMAGES; PANAGIOTIS MILONAS/GETTY IMAGES.

WORST-CASE SCENARIO face cream or foundation, own stuff and always

A skin infection surface bacteria hitchhike apply it with clean hands.
WHY?
Bacteria love burrowing
themselves in makeup
brushes. They’re often damp
from products (like founda-
WORST-CASE SCENARIO Colds and cold sores
tion) or the environment
(like humid bathrooms). Why? The mouth (which itself is a bacteria bonanza) doesn’t
Borrow someone’s brush and have the same outermost epidermal layer of skin, says NYC dermatologist
you’re dusting their germs
onto your face and Julie Karen, MD, leaving it susceptible to infections like herpes simplex
contaminating your product. virus type 1 (check that cold sore) and, more commonly, colds.

86
 DADS DON’T TAKE SICK DAYS.

DADS TAKE

Use as directed. Read each label. Keep out of reach of children.

© Procter & Gamble, Inc. 2014
 1

MAKE A
BUCKET LIST
If you reframe goals
as fun, can’t-miss
activities, you’re going
to want to cross them
off. Instead of “Exercise
more,” write down,
“Do the Disney Princess
Half Marathon. Wear
a bikini while celebrating
at the pool.”

DO ONE THING
EDUARD BONNIN/STOCKSY. SOURCE: TAMMY STOKES, FOUNDER, WEST COAST WORKOUT, LIFESTYLE FITNESS STUDIOS AND AUTHOR OF LIVE YOUR HEALTHIEST LIFE

PUT
EACH MONTH
A yearlong project
is daunting. Just fix some
part of your diet every

MORE 30 days—cook at home

more in February,
eat slower in March, nosh
on extra greens in April.

HAPPY That’s 12 opportunities not

just to “lose weight”
but to get healthier too.

IN YOUR 3

TRY A YOGI TRICK

Rather than goals, set

NEW one- or two-word

intentions. To get more
sleep, you could focus on
a calm mind (not “go to

YEAR
There’s a reason only 8 percent of
bed earlier every night”).
Then take the steps—
sip tea, listen to soft
tunes, do some gentle
stretches—to get there.
folks who make New Year’s resolutions
actually achieve them: They’re a total
drag. These alternatives have all the
payoff but none of the punishment.
BY MARISSA GAINSBURG

89
 CASHING IN

STAY
FIT ON
KIT UP. It’s motivating to have a
fabulous sports bra that gives you
good support and a pair of sneakers
you love and will use regularly. Get

THE
steep discounts at PlanetGear.com
(up to 70 percent off) and TheClymb
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apparel, shoes, and equipment.
SCORE A DISCOUNT. Ask if your com-
pany has any negotiated corporate
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health-care provider offers gym deals.
You could receive up to 60 percent off
CHEAPActually, you can
on membership fees, and some com- upgrade your
panies reimburse employees in full. three-year-old gym
GET CASH BACK. Some insurers sneakers. Save on
will pay you for working out: Check to luxe gyms and gear
see if your plan offers a reimburse- with advice from
ment. UnitedHealthcare will pay you Cosmo financial
$20 per month annually. Your
employer might also offer a health-
columnist Alexa von
and-fitness allowance, which could Tobel, CEO of
get you up to a few hundred dollars. LearnVest.
SHOP AROUND. Compare gym options:
Most offer a free day (or even a free
week) of trial membership. Proximity
is one of the biggest stick-with-it
secrets: Make sure your gym is close
enough that you’ll actually use it.
NEGOTIATE. Gyms are often more
flexible on membership toward the
end of the month. Come armed
with numbers that show you’ve
done your homework: “The gym
down the street charges $20 less
per month.” Ask that they
waive the initiation fee and throw
in personal-training sessions.
GET A DEAL ON CLASSES. ClassPass
(available in 13 U.S. cities and
expanding to more this year) lets
you attend unlimited classes
at tons of studios for $99 per month.
STOCK A HOME GYM. Here’s all you
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at home: a kettlebell (around
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an exercise ball ($20), and a jump
rope ($10).
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SAVE ON A TRAINER. CosmoBody,

Cosmo’s own fitness channel,
offers unlimited access to workout
videos. You can get a free 10-day
membership at CosmoBody.com.

90 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015

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GET THE
MAX
OUT OF
EVERY
MOVE
Moves like lunges and push-
ups are classics for a reason:
They work. But with some clever LET ASTRID
hacks, CosmoBody trainer Astrid
McGuire works extra muscles TRAIN YOU!
to make these old standbys even We drop new video
workouts (butt,
more effective (and fun). abs, arms!) with Astrid
BY LIZ PLOSSER and seven other
star trainers every
PHOTOGRAPHED BY PERRY HAGOPIAN week on our fitness
channel. Get a
1 free 10-day trial at
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then stick around for
$9.95 a month.

A STEPPED-UP
LUNGE
1 Stand with feet hip-width
apart facing a chair or bench.
Step right foot onto chair,
then press through left heel
to drive left knee up and
forward so thigh is parallel to
floor. Pulse it two times while
balancing on right foot and
without leaning torso or hips
A BETTER SQUAT forward, swinging arms
1 Standing, swing arms to the right and jump for stability. 2 Return to start
laterally, landing on your right foot, bending the position. Repeat 10 to
left knee and raising the left foot. 2 Reverse 20 times, then switch legs.
the move to your left side, jumping at a 45-degree
WHY IT’S BETTER Traveling
angle. Repeat alternate jumps for one minute,
vertically instead of just
constantly moving forward.
horizontally requires more
WHY IT’S BETTER Jumping not only targets your butt effort (cardio!), plus you’ll tap
and legs but also gets your heart rate up. The diagonal your core muscles to steady
movement zaps your inner and outer thighs and obliques. yourself once you’re up.

94 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015

 1

GET
ASTRID’S
GEAR
Bra, Calvin Klein
Performance, $34, macys
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2 Jump and
balance!

AN UPGRADED PUSH-UP
1 Place hands under shoulders on a chair or bench, and walk feet
back. Place left hand behind lower back. 2 Jump both feet out to
the sides and in. That’s one rep. Do 10, switch hands, and repeat.
WHY IT’S BETTER Using one arm at a time prevents the stronger
one from compensating, so each arm gets maximum toning.

A MORE
POWERFUL
PLANK
1 Stand with feet hip-width
apart. Slowly bend at waist and
touch floor with palms, bending
knees if necessary. Walk hands Straight legs
forward one at a time until are the key.
you’re in plank position with
palms under shoulders.
2 Spring feet forward and land
in low sumo squat. Jump back
in plank position, and walk
FASHION EDITOR: MATTHEW PERIDIS. HAIR: DAVID KEOGH FOR CELESTINE AGENCY. MAKEUP: CARISSA

hands back toward feet. Stand

and repeat. Do 10 reps.
FERRERI FOR TRACEY MATTINGLY. MANICURE: BARBARA WARNER FOR CELESTINE AGENCY.

WHY IT’S BETTER Bending and

walking hands forward warms
up your muscles while stretch-
ing them out. Plus, jumping for-
ward adds a cardio boost.

2
1

A RETOOLED BICYCLE
1 Lie on back, fingers behind ears. Lift shoulders and upper back, and
raise legs so they’re perpendicular to floor. 2 Tilting feet inward, lower
right leg so it hovers above the floor and cross left leg over it. Return legs to
perpendicular position, then repeat on other side. That’s one rep; do 10.
WHY IT’S BETTER Keeping your legs straight makes it harder for your abs and
obliques. The tilting and angling works your inner thighs and butt.

FEBRUARY 2015 | COSMOPOLITAN 95

“IS NOT A KISS THE VERY
AUTOGRAPH OF LOVE?”
HENRY FINCK, AUTHOR
 ROMANCE IS ON

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 CHECK
You’re Using the
OUT THE
OMBRÉ
SHOES
Treadmill Wrong
Shoes, Brooks Instead of going faster, go higher.
Running, $170,
brooksrunning.com “Increasing the slope is the most effi-
cient way to maximize calorie burn
in a short time,” says trainer David
Siik, who created the Precision Run-
ning Program at Equinox. You’ll work
more muscles in your butt and legs
too—and it’ll show. Siik designed this
12-minute program just for Cosmo.

Subtract one mile per hour

from the max pace you can
do for one minute, so 6.0 if
6.0 mph your top pace is 7.0.
5% 6.2
4% 6.4
3% 6.6

INCLINE
2% 6.8

TO 1 2
3.0
0%
3
3.0
0%
4 5
3.0
0%
6
MINUTES
3.0 1% 3.0 7.0 3.0
0%
7 8 9 10 11 12
0% 0% 0%

DYE Recovery pace is at least half your interval pace.

FOR
It’s on cakes, nails,
WEIRD
WEIGHT-LOSS
hair...now ombré is at TRICK
the gym. Try Athleta Thinking of
tanks, Fabletics activity as fun
leggings, Reebok (not work)
makes you less
shorts, and kicks by likely to reward
Brooks and Mizuno. yourself with
BY LIZ PLOSSER
food. Next time
you go out, call
BEN GOLDSTEIN/STUDIO D. ARTHUR BELEBEAU/TRUNK ARCHIVE.

it a scenic walk
or a fun run—
you might trick
Get Out of Gym FREE! your brain.
Most days, exercise makes you feel more energetic,
clear-headed, and happy. But sometimes it’s better to sit it out.
1. You’re on Cipro 2. You’re Hungover 3. You’re Feverish
This antibiotic irri- If you just feel blah, You can exercise with
tates tendons, mak- getting the blood a cold, but not with
ing them more prone flowing may help. But a fever above 100
to an Achilles tear or a if you’re dizzy and degrees, chest pain,
tweaked hamstring. queasy, skip the gym. or chest congestion.

98 SOURCES: (GET OUT OF GYM FREE) JORDAN D. METZL, MD,

AUTHOR OF THE EXERCISE CURE; (WEIRD WEIGHT-LOSS TRICK)
CORNELL UNIVERSITY FOOD AND BRAND LAB.
MAYBE TODAY,
CHRONIC MIGRAINE
WON’T STAND IN
YOUR WAY.

If you have migraines with 15 or more headache days a month, you’re living a Maybe Life.
AND YOU MAY ALSO BE LIVING WITH CHRONIC MIGRAINE.
But knowing this thing you’re going through has a name means knowing you can find
treatments that are right for you.

TO FIND A HEADACHE SPECIALIST

AND FOR MORE INFORMATION, VISIT

© 2013 Allergan, Inc., Irvine, CA 92612, APC61UX13

.com
“LOVE IS AN
IRRESISTIBLE DESIRE
TO BE IRRESISTIBLY
DESIRED.”
ROBERT FROST, POET
 DESIRE IS ON

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HAVE
AMAZING ASK
SEX ALL DR. ASHTON
Q Does a vibrator

MONTH
dull my body’s
sensitivity over
time? I’m

LONG
worried it’ll get
harder to orgasm
during sex.
A Thankfully, there
No need for a time- is no evidence of this
out during your period. effect—in fact, a
vibrator may help
The action can even you get in tune with
what turns you on so
feel extra nice thanks you enjoy sex more.
to natural wetness and It’s also good for your
muscles, nerves,
heightened sensitivity. blood flow, and
What to know… glands. Think of it
like running on the
YOU CAN GET PREGNANT street versus on a
It’s rare, but ovulation can be treadmill—you
unpredictable, and sperm can may use different
muscles, but it’s
live three to five days postsex.
still running and still
Keep up the contraception. Messy can
be sexy.
good for you.
SOME HEALTH RISKS RISE SOURCE: JENNIFER ASHTON, MD,
AN OB-GYN AND SENIOR MEDICAL
CONTRIBUTOR FOR ABC NEWS
The cervix is open and there’s less
protective cervical mucus, so it’s
easier to pass infections. If you are
prone to vag infections or haven’t BYE TO
been tested for STIs, use condoms. BREAST
YOU MIGHT FEEL BETTER PAIN
Period sex can get rid of cramps

?
FROM LEFT: 2/B2M PRODUCTIONS/PHOTODISC/OCEAN/CORBIS; MICHAEL BENABIB.

and moodiness—the secret

is in the hormone-releasing Os.
So go get some!
About half of women
SOURCE: LINDA FAN, MD, ASSISTANT PROFESSOR
OF OBSTETRICS, YALE SCHOOL OF MEDICINE suffer from breast pain,
tenderness, or swelling.
Violet, a new OTC, non-
hormonal supplement,
delivers a type of iodine
Still Paying for Birth Control? to the breasts to reduce
cell buildup that causes
CVS Caremark issued refunds after Rep. Jackie Speier revealed that 11,000 the discomfort. Give the
women had been overcharged for BC. But she’s had more complaints of ille- pill 60 days to kick in
gal copays. If you’re charged, ask your insurer why and if there’s a way to get and watch for fatigue, a
out of it, like switching to a generic. If you think the pharmacist is overcharg- potential side effect.
ing you, ask her to call your insurer in front of you—she’ll need an override P.S. Cutting back on
code to fix the issue. Already paid? CoverHer.org has advice on refunds. caffeine may also help.

102 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015 BY MARISSA GAINSBURG

 restructures and strengthens hair

natural moisture levels in the hair

the beauty of your hair

SILICONE
FREE
 Lift fork, insert in mouth, right? Healthy eating should
be just that easy, but in the real world—when you’re busy,
broke, tempted, or all of the above—things can get weirdly
stressful. Cosmo’s guide solves all your food dilemmas, so you
can love everything that passes your lips.
by Marjorie Korn
photographed by Travis Rathbone

105
 So you have three sushi takeout spots saved in your phone, but you can barely scramble an egg?
Master a few simple recipes to get started. These are from Los Angeles chef Brooke Williamson, whose
experience competing on Top Chef made her a pro at magicking random cupboard contents into dinner.
White Flat Bread
Pizza With
Zucchini, Goat
Cheese, and
Mushrooms
Cut down zucchini
prep time by using
an affordable hand-
held mandoline slicer
from Oxo ($15)—new
gadgets inspire more
cooking.
1
/2 c. goat cheese
1
/2 c. low-fat cottage
cheese
PROP STYLIST: ARIANA SALVATO/APOSTROPHE. FOOD STYLIST: CAMILLE BECERRA/APOSTROPHE. CLOCKWISE FROM LEFT: GETTY IMAGES; ALAMY; GETTY IMAGES (4).
1
/2 c. low-fat sour cream
1 T minced garlic
1 large store-bought
pre-baked pizza crust
3 T shaved Parmesan
1 large zucchini, sliced
into rounds
1 c. fresh sliced
mushrooms, such as
button or shiitake
1 t. crushed red
pepper flakes
1
/2 c. torn basil
Heat oven to 400
degrees. In a blender,
add the cheeses, sour
cream, and garlic. Sea-
son with salt and pep-
per, and process until
well combined. Spread
goat cheese mixture
onto crust, and top with
zucchini, mushrooms,
Parmesan, and pepper
flakes. Put pizza on a
sheet pan and bake on
middle rack until veggies
are brown and cheese
melts, 20 minutes. Serve
topped with basil.
4 tools that turn you into a cook There’s no shame in yard-sale measuring cups
and swiped cafeteria forks. But spend up for these. They’ll make years of home-cooked meals.
S AU T É
CHEF ’S K NIF E
PA N Try Calphalon, $35.
Try
Cuisinart,
$50.
Coconut-Berry
Pudding
In the habit of
buying breakfast?
Make a big batch
of this stuff on
Sunday night to
have throughout the
week. You’ll save a
ton of money and
calories.
1
/4 c. shredded,
unsweetened coconut
1
/4 c. chia seeds
3
/4 c. coconut milk
1
/2 c. coconut water
1 t. pure vanilla extract
1
/4 t. kosher salt
1
/2 c. raspberries
1
/4 c. blueberries
1 sliced
/4 c. blackberries
2 T honey
In a bowl, combine
coconut, chia seeds,
milk, water, extract,
and salt, and cover.
Refrigerate at least 2
hours or overnight. Stir,
and eat topped with
berries and drizzled
with honey.
MI X ING BOW L S
Try Anchor, $9.
Frozen
Dinners
Get Fancy
Compared with
those who eat fast
food, frozen-meal
Fish-Stick Tacos Not-Quite- eaters get more
Instead of ordering Fried Rice veggies and 250
pizza for a crowd, Order brown rice fewer calories, a
new study finds.
make these. Using when you get take-
Look for meals with
pre-made ingredi- out, then use the 500 calories or
ents makes it tons leftovers for this fewer, at least
easier than it tastes. healthy fried-rice
3 to 5 g of fiber, and
8 oz. package frozen variation. If you 600 mg or fewer of
organic fish sticks want to add protein, sodium, says Megan
3 T light sour cream pick up a roasted Roosevelt, RD.
2 T light mayo
2 T freshly squeezed
chicken, shred a
lime juice thigh, and mix it in.
1 T hot sauce 1 T olive oil
1 t. sugar 1 c. frozen, diced white
1 t. minced garlic onions, carrots, and
1 t. red wine vinegar celery
3 c. packaged, sliced 1 t. jarred minced garlic
cabbage and carrot 2 c. cooked brown rice Amy’s Kitchen Brown
coleslaw mix 1 T soy sauce Rice & Vegetables Bowl
1 red bell pepper, 2 lightly scrambled eggs 260 calories, 5 g fiber,
550 mg sodium
1 T chopped scallions
1 avocado, diced
Cooking spray In a large pan over high
8 6-inch tortillas heat, heat oil. Cook
8 lime wedges vegetables and garlic
until lightly brown.
Bake fish as package Add rice, soy sauce,
directs. Whisk sour and eggs, and cook
cream, mayo, juice, hot until rice is hot, about
sauce, sugar, garlic, 3 minutes. Season Artisan Bistro Wild
vinegar; season with Alaskan Salmon
with salt and pepper, 280 calories, 6 g fat,
salt and pepper. Toss and serve topped with 18 g protein, 4 g fiber,
with coleslaw. Divide scallions. Serves 2. 135 mg sodium
pepper, avocado, slaw,
and fish into warmed
tortillas. Garnish with
lime. Serves 4.
Blake’s Chicken Pot Pie
With Organic Vegetables
V E GE TA BL E SOURCE: 340 calories, 5 g fiber,
STEPHANIE 470 mg sodium
PEELER IZARD, CHEF/
Tr y Kuhn OWNER OF GIRL
& THE GOAT AND
Rikon, $4. LITTLE GOAT, IN —Jessica Migala
CHICAGO.
107
you’re
totally
broke BRE AK FAS T LUNCH DINNER
Oatmeal with apple Tuna sandwich with Pasta with shredded
and cinnamon spinach and side of carrots chicken thighs, sauteed
Monday

and homemade tortilla frozen veggies, and tomato

chips (toast a tortilla with sauce (canned tomatoes,
oil and salt) sauteed onions, olive
oil, salt and pepper)

SURVEY OF MARKETS IN PORTLAND, OREGON, BY COOKING MATTERS. PRICES VARY REGIONALLY. BEN GOLDSTEIN/STUDIO D. PROP STYLIST: ELIZABETH
Yogurt, thawed Bento box: 2 hard-boiled Huevos rancheros

PROP STYLIST: ARIANA SALVATO/APOSTROPHE. FOOD STYLIST: CAMILLE BECERRA/APOSTROPHE. SOURCE FOR RECEIPT: MEDIAN PRICES VIA A
Tuesday

berries, and eggs, carrots, apple, and (2 sunny-side-up eggs,

chopped apples tortilla chips tortilla, beans,
and cheese)
Wednesday

Two-egg sandwich with Smoothie with Pasta salad with

cheese and spinach on yogurt, berries, tuna, beans,
toast oats, cinnamon, chopped carrots,
apple, and honey and spinach

French toast with berry Nachos (tortilla chips, Wrap with melted cheese
compote (cooked frozen cheese, veggies, beans, and chicken salad
Thursday

berries, yogurt) (shredded chicken, apple,

sugar, and yogurt)
cinnamon)
The 3 Rules for
Yogurt and uncooked
oats (cover and refrigerate
Chicken salad on toast Two eggs-in-a-hole, Cheaper Groceries
with a side of carrots plus crumble
Friday

the night before) with apple and tortilla of apple, oatmeal, Go Dry Go Big Go
and cinnamon chips cinnamon, Frozen
and sugar You’ll You may pay
save by more up front Not only are
OSBORNE/HALLEY RESOURCES. GETTY IMAGES (10).

Two-egg omelet with Apples dipped Chili (canned tomatoes, choosing dry for a larger frozen
sauteed onions, thawed in melted beans, shredded chicken, beans, rice, container of veggies,
Saturday

veggies, and cheese, plus cheddar onions, and carrots) with polenta, oatmeal meat, and fish
toast tortilla chips quinoa, and (store brand, perfectly
other natch), but healthy,
grains— the cost per but you also
Burrito with eggs, Pasta e fagioli soup (pasta, Roasted chicken thigh make a bunch ounce will be don’t run the
cheese, and beans beans, canned tomatoes) and veggies, plus a crumble and use lower. risk of
Sunday

of berries, oats, sugar, it for multiple having them

and cinnamon meals. go bad.

108 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015

 YOUR
GUY EATS
JUNK
So he likes everything
fried, cheesy, and with a
pint of beer? Here’s our
survival guide, via
Kerri-Ann Jennings, RD,
a nutritionist in
Burlington, Vermont.
Chill Out About Dinner
“That’s the meal you
probably eat together most
often,” Jennings says.
“The key is evaluating what
you eat the rest of the day.”
At dinner, just focus on
bumping up the veggies
(have a salad with that ’za).
Don’t Try to Keep Up
Just because he can hoover
an onion loaf doesn’t mean
you’d enjoy it. “Think about
stopping when you’re
full or no longer enjoying
the food,” she suggests.
Split Things Unevenly
If you order a few dishes
or uncork a bottle to share,
you may not need half.
Hack His Pub Food
Add broccoli, cauliflower,
or peppers to mac ’n’
cheese. Make sliders on
whole-wheat English
muffins instead of monster
burgers. Or make Jennings’
nachos recipe: Swap in
cooked sweet-potato slices
for chips; add shredded
chicken, black beans, a
little sharp cheddar, and
peppers, and top with salsa
and Greek yogurt.
 WAK E UP
Green Tea With
Lemon
The caffeine and
other compounds in
the green tea may
make you feel less
foggy. And the lemon
amps up the potency
of some of the tea’s
antioxidants, which
may have lots
of disease-fighting
benefits if you’re
inspired to start
drinking tea on the
regular.

BRE AK FAS T
Chocolate
Smoothie
Combine 8 ounces
skim milk (or
unsweetened soy
milk) with 1 banana,
a handful of baby
spinach (you won’t
taste it), 1 table-
spoon almond but-
ter, 11/2 teaspoons
cocoa powder, and a
pinch of cinnamon in
a blender, and blend

you need on high until smooth.

Add 4 ice cubes, and
blend again until
smooth.

a monday
Potassium in the
banana helps relieve
water retention, help-
ing to depuff you.

reset
You raged all weekend, and now it’s time to get back
on track. Try Cosmo’s healthy kick start: a one-day
HAPPY-HOUR MOCK TAIL

menu of naturally detoxifying foods developed by Pink Crush

Antioxidant-rich pomegranate
New York–based nutritionists Willow Jarosh, RD, juice pairs great with the light
and Stephanie Clarke, RD. You’ll feel lean, light, and and sweet watermelon.
clearheaded...at least until next weekend.
 E X TR A CREDIT
Spa Water
Put 3 slices of
lemon and 3 slices
of cucumber into a
reusable water bot-
tle, then fill with H2O.
Sip all day, and con-
tinue to refill it when
you get to the bottom
(leave in the cukes
and lemon). The fla-
vor gets milder with
each refill: When you
can’t really taste the
lemon and cucumber,
you’ve met your unof-
ficial water goal for
the day.
LUNCH
Crunchy
Salmon Salad
Wrap
Mix 1/2 a drained
5-ounce can of
PROP STYLIST: ARIANA SALVATO/APOSTROPHE. FOOD STYLIST: CAMILLE BECERRA/APOSTROPHE. SOURCE: ALEXANDRA
SNACK
Yogurt
Top 4 ounces of low-
YOU ALWAYS
fat plain yogurt with
1
/2 cup raspberries, 1
OVERDO IT
Arguably more important than
tablespoon chopped
walnuts, 1 teaspoon what you eat is how much of it you
honey, and a pinch of eat. But portions are confusing!
cinnamon. Luckily, there’s no problem the
Probiotics in the Genius Bar can’t solve.
yogurt could reduce
bloating—they help
bring your gut’s
bacteria back into
balance. And the
raspberries have
more fiber than
almost any other fruit.
DINNER
Turkey and
Cauliflower
Penne

wild salmon with Toss 1 cup whole-

1
/4 cup chopped carrot, grain penne with
BOOKLESS, GENERAL MANAGER OF CAFE DU NORD IN SAN FRANCISCO. COURTESY APPLE (5); GETTY IMAGES (5).

1
/4 cup chopped 2 cups roasted cauli-
cucumber, 2 tea- flower (cooked
spoons mayonnaise, tossed with 2 tea-
and 1/2 teaspoon spoons olive oil),
1
mustard. Roll in a /2 cup drained and iPhone 6 plus iPhone 6 iPod iPod Nano iPod Shuffle
whole-grain tortilla
with 2 slices of tomato
rinsed canned
white beans, 1 cup
= = = = =
and a handful of marinara, 4 ounces
arugula. cooked ground turkey 1 c. 4 to 5 oz. 3 to 4 oz. 1 oz. 1T
The tortilla’s B vita- breast, 2 tablespoons serving of serving of serving of serving serving
mins help your body Parmesan cheese, vegetables, fish meat or of of nut
convert food into and 1 tablespoon pasta, or poultry chocolate butter
rice
energy. The salmon fresh chopped basil.
is loaded with good- Combined with
for-you fats that are carb-y whole-wheat
thought to play a penne, the trypto-
role in alleviating phan in turkey trav-
depression. els to your brain to your workout makes
induce drowsiness,
setting you up for a
you snacky BLEND
Congrats, you’ve fallen in love with Spinning, TOGETHER
rock-solid night of running, or Prancercise. So why aren’t the pounds 3
/4 c. plain
sleep. dropping off? Even marathoners may find that the Greek yogurt
1
scale starts to go up during training, because Why Do /2 c. fat-free
Athletes milk
they’re hungrier than ever, says Danielle LaFata, 1
/2 c. spinach
Love
RD, nutritionist for the U.S. Men’s Soccer Team. Smoothies? 1
/2 pear,
2 T sugar Over medium heat, dissolve We tend to overestimate the calories we burn, They have the seeded,
1
/2 c. pomegranate sugar into juice. Add melon, research shows. Plus, we subconsciously think, I ideal combo roughly
juice mash with fork, and reduce of carbs, chopped
1
/2 c. seedless
worked out this morning, therefore I can cheese- 1 T freshly
into a syrup. Strain into a jar, protein, and
watermelon chunks burger tonight . The best way to tame hunger and fat to restore squeezed
and cool. Pour 1/4 cup syrup
Seltzer water into an ice-filled glass, top keep energy high so you can crush your training is energy lemon juice
Watermelon balls to have a snack within 30 minutes after exer cis- and soothe 1 t. peeled
with seltzer, and garnish ginger
Pomegranate arils ing. Aim for 15 to 20 grams of protein and around muscles.
with watermelon balls and/or Enjoy ours!
1
/2 t. honey
Fresh basil (optional) pomegranate arils and basil. 30 grams of carbs, like berries and Greek yogurt, Ice
peanut butter and an apple, or a smoothie. (187 calories)

FEBRUARY 2015 | COSMOPOLITAN 111

“I KNEW IF I STARTED TOUCHING YOU
I WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO STOP.”
A.K. HÖST, AUTHOR
 SEDUCTION IS ON

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 A GROWING NUMBER
OF WOULD-BE PARENTS
ARE ASKING FRIENDS
AND STRANGERS TO
HELP PAY FOR

CROWDFUNDS
A BABY

PHOTOGRAPHED BY
LEVI BROWN
 ADOPTIONS, IN-VITRO
PROCEDURES, AND
SURROGATE PREGNANCIES.

LILIT MARCUS
EXPLORES THE NEW
ETHICAL DILEMMAS
AND SOMETIMES UGLY
CRITICISMS THAT ARISE
WHEN EVERYONE CHIPS
IN FOR A CHILD.

JESSICA HALEY HAD A SECRET that was

gnawing away at her—after years of try-
ing, she and her husband, Sean, her high
school sweetheart, were told they had a less
than 1 percent chance of conceiving a baby
naturally. In another time, that might have
ended any hope the Melbourne, Florida,
couple had of parenthood. But this is the
21st century, a time of innovation both for
fertility treatments like IVF and for the
internet’s power of spreading the word.
Jessica would utilize both of those innova-
tions in her quest to become a mom.
Jessica kept her fertility problems pri-
vate, not even telling her parents. But years
of friends’ baby showers and questions of
“Are you next?” started to take their toll. In
June 2011, she posted a link on Facebook.
It was to a page she had created called Help
the Haleys Have a Baby on a new website
for crowdfunding called Indiegogo.com,
where friends and strangers can donate
money toward user-created campaigns.
The couple’s campaign sought to raise
money toward the cost of their IVF.
 Jessica, an operations director for a
nonprofit that helps people struggling
with mental-health issues, heard about
Indiegogo through a friend. Although
the site and rival Kickstarter were then
becoming popular with aspiring artists
seeking funding for creative projects,
Jessica had another idea. “I thought,
if people can raise money for all these
things, then why not raise money to
have a baby?” she says.
Initially, Jessica posted a fund-
raising goal of $5,000, much less than
the total of $16,000 she and Sean actu-
ally needed to cover the medicines, egg
retrievals, doctor visits, and other costs
associated with IVF. Friends and fam-
ily were the first donors to their online
campaign, and soon donations came in
from long-lost friends who had heard
about the campaign through Facebook.
About 20 percent of the total funds
came from complete strangers who
were touched by the Haleys’ story and
wanted to help. People dealing with

“I THOUGHT, IF PEOPLE CAN RAISE MONEY FOR ALL THESE THINGS...

their own fertility issues sent compas-

sionate e-mails, which Jessica says
helped her realize she wasn’t alone.
Altogether, the page brought in $8,000
over four months, a higher goal that
the Haleys had set to cover a payment
that they discovered they would need
to make before they could start treat-
ment. Beyond Indiegogo, relatives sent
checks, the couple scrimped and saved,
and they put some of the costs on a
credit card. Jessica created the page in
June 2011 and met her goal of begin-
ning IVF in October.
But while the Haleys were able to
harness the power of the web to raise
money, it also left them open to criti-
cism. “I was at such a defeated point in
my life,” Jessica says about the period
she spent fund-raising online. “Strang-
ers posted comments on our page
and sent us direct messages that were
harsh. It’s one of the things I’ve strug-
gled with,” she admits. “I don’t want to
ever feel guilty for experiencing preg-
nancy or having a kid who looks like
my husband. If your arm is broken and
you can go to a doctor who can fix your
arm, no one says anything. But if I say

116 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015

 my uterus is broken and I want to get it
fixed, [people think] there’s something
wrong with that.”
Many would-be parents on sites like
Indiegogo are confronted with questions
like “If you can’t afford IVF, how can you
afford a baby?” or comments like “Just
adopt instead.” One would-be mom who
is paralyzed from the waist down and
uses a wheelchair turned to crowdfund-
ing and is now expecting a baby through
surrogacy. Multiple commenters told her
that her disability meant she shouldn’t
have a baby because she wouldn’t be able
to care for it later on. Another wrote,
“Since when did it become okay to ask
virtual strangers to fund things you
want? I would like a bigger house, a new
car, and a safari trip to Africa. Too bad I
can’t afford it. Such is life.”
Indiegogo cofounder Danae Ringel-
mann acknowledges that these com-
ments can be tough. “Raising money
online is new for people,” she says. She
encourages would-be fund-raisers to
...THEN WHY NOT RAISE MONEY TO HAVE A BABY?”
focus on the positive and to tap their
Customer Happiness Team, whose job
is to engage with users and keep them
from giving up.
After just one round of IVF, the
Haleys got the news they’d dreamed
of—the IVF worked. Unlike many of
Indiegogo’s other campaigns, Jessica’s
page hadn’t resulted in a self-pub-
lished novel or a photography proj-
ect. It had resulted in a human being.
She announced the news of her preg-
nancy at nine weeks, earlier than the 12
most doctors recommend, because she
believed she owed it to the people who
had chipped in. She also felt obligated
to share with her Indiegogo followers
some of the gorier details of her IVF,
PROP STYLIST: LAUREN SHIELDS/HALLEY RESOURCES
like the fact that she had to get hormone
shots in her butt or the specifics of how
many embryos survived harvesting. The
way she saw it, it wasn’t just the Haleys’
own story and happy ending—it was
everybody’s who had helped. Their son,
Landon, was born on April 7, 2012.
The Haleys believe Landon was
America’s first crowdfunded baby.
Now, Indiegogo and similar sites like
GoFundMe and Fundly regularly fea-
ture pages from people who hope to
become parents by raising funds to pay
for adoption, IVF, or surrogacy. Kick-
starter, however, has always had a policy
against such campaigns. (Jessica ini-
tially attempted to use Kickstarter but
switched to Indiegogo.) Kickstarter
also requires campaigns be fully funded
before the crowdfunder gets any money,
while other sites allow people to keep
whatever has been raised. Indiegogo says
its plan from day one was to leave the
door wide open. “Our belief is that peo-
ple should fund what matters to them,”
Ringelmann says. “No rules, no applica-
tion. The Haley baby campaign proved
the importance of an open platform.”
The number of “life events” cam-
paigns on Indiegogo (including crowd-
funding for IVF, surrogacy, and
adoption costs, as well as things like
weddings, honeymoons, medical bills,
and funeral expenses) jumped 30 per-
cent from 2013 to 2014. Because of
this growth, in December, Indiegogo
launched a stand-alone site, Indiegogo
Life, just for these kinds of campaigns.
One common criticism is that the
many crowdfunding campaigns com-
peting for attention can start to resem-
ble an American Idol audition, with
everyone vying for the most heart-
breaking backstory in order to score
votes…or, in this case, dollars. The sto-
ries are usually written by a woman
who goes into sometimes excruciating
detail about her health issues, problems
conceiving, and how sad she feels when
she sees her friends with their babies.
Many link to personal blogs, Facebook
pages, or Twitter accounts. And even
when campaigns reach their goal like
the Haleys’ did, these pages—which
feature details of a baby’s concep-
tion, adoption, or genetic origin—can
remain on the internet forever for any-
one to access, a fact that Indiegogo’s
site clearly states. Elizabeth Yuko, PhD,
a bioethicist at Fordham University
who studies reproductive ethics and
the changing nature of pregnancy, cau-
tions would-be crowdfunders to keep
the baby’s identity and personal details
off the sites.
FEBRUARY 2015 | COSMOPOLITAN
Candace Wohl, whose daughter
Grayson was delivered via a surrogate
in June 2014, used GoFundMe to raise
about $2,600—a small fraction of the
total she and her husband needed. On
top of that, she sold necklaces on Etsy,
held garage sales of items donated by
friends and family, and partnered with
a local restaurant on a fund-raiser.
“There are a lot of misconceptions—
people think that if you can’t afford
to have the baby, you can’t afford
to take care of one,” she says. While
child-rearing costs like daycare can be
spread out over years, fertility costs are
immediate. “Most people don’t have
that cash on hand.”
Although Candace and her husband
would like to have at least one more
child, they don’t plan on fund-raising
again. “Morally, I don’t feel comfortable
with that. We fund-raised for our child.
Adding another one to our family is
not other people’s responsibility. That’s
extending my hand too far.” Two years
after having Landon, the Haleys wel-
comed a second son, Declan, a happy
surprise who was born without the
help of fertility treatments. The Haleys
jokingly call their younger son their
BOGO [buy one, get one] Baby.
Jessica has saved local news stories
about her crowdfunding efforts and
plans to show them to Landon someday
so that he can understand the unusual
circumstances behind his birth and so
that both boys can see how desperately
their parents wanted to have them.
She and Sean have also paid their gift
forward by donating to other online
crowdfunding campaigns of couples
trying to conceive.
Despite the criticism and the murky
waters of sharing intimate details with
strangers, Jessica doesn’t regret a thing.
“Three years ago, I was up at 2 a.m.,
getting an IVF shot. This morning, I
was up at 2 a.m. with my son. The only
reason this happened is that more than
100 people donated.” ■
117
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 Life’s too short
to be bored
with your look.
This month,
dare to take a
risk—a brave
new hairstyle,
major lashes,
destroyed
denim—and
fall in love
all over again…
with you!
JESSE NEMETH FOR BA REPS. PRODUCTION BY SHOTSIE KRAMER FOR FIRST SHOT PRODUCTIONS. SEE PAGE 210 FOR SHOPPING INFORMATION.
MAKEUP: BEAU NELSON AT THE WALL GROUP USING NYX COSMETICS. MANICURE: KIMMIE KYEES FOR CELESTINEAGENCY.COM. SET DESIGN:
PHOTOGRAPHED BY ERIC RAY DAVIDSON. FASHION EDITOR: JAMES WORTHINGTON DEMOLET. HAIR: MARK TOWNSEND FOR DOVE HAIR CARE.

what’s
Sexy for
February
Shirt, Gap. Jeans,
American Eagle
Outfitters. Bra, La
Perla. Belt, Diesel
Black Gold. Earrings,
handpiece, Luv Aj.
Knuckle ring, Mead-
owlark. All other
bracelets, Kylie’s
own Cartier

119
Over It
All
Overalls,
Rebecca Minkoff.
Tube top, Kate
Spade Saturday.
Shoes, Derek Lam
10 Crosby. Cuff,
Anndra Neen.
Nail bracelet, love
stack bracelets
(worn throughout),
Kylie’s own
Cartier
While you were keeping up with Kourtney, Kim, and
Khloé, their younger sister Kylie Jenner made a
grand, blue hair/don’t care entrance, smack dab at
the center of the conversation. Get ready for the
perfect storm—she’s coming at you like a dark horse.
BY KatieL. Connor PHOTOGR APHED BY Eric Ray Davidson
FASHION EDITOR: James Worthington DeMolet

10:30 A.M., WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 19
Kylie Jenner is among
TMZ’s top stories.“There’s
these rumors I was trying
to get in the club Greystone
and they denied my entry,”
she tells me adding, “which
I think is so lame and would
never do.” West Hollywood’s
Greystone Manor is
21-and-up, and Kylie, 17,
was reportedly trying to get
in to see her friend, maybe-
boyfriend, Tyga perform.
When she wasn’t granted
access, the hip-hop star
allegedly canceled the gig.
Kylie’s tempted to address
the speculation: “I wanted
to tweet that I was in bed at
10:30 and never went there,
but then it’s just gonna bring
more attention. People will
forget about it next week.”
If the whole situation
sounds familiar (stop me if
you’ve heard this one before,
a Kardashian walks into
a club…), it’s because for
years, Kylie’s half-sisters
have made the lion’s share
of infotainment headlines.
But now that Kim, aka Mrs.
Kanye West aka North’s
mom, has settled into
domestic life (albeit one with
a butt meme), and Khloé
and Kourtney have taken
the Hamptons (in the name
of “the Lord” Scott Disick),
there’s a vacancy for a new
leader of the DASH pack.
122 GO BEHIND THE SCENES OF KYLIE’S COVER SHOOT ON OUR
DIGITAL EDITION: MY.COSMOPOLITAN.COM.
Conventional wisdom would
tap Kylie’s sister, Kendall,
19. Yet interestingly (or
maybe under pressure from
momager Kris Jenner?),
the press has eschewed
Kendall’s personal life,
focusing primarily on her
burgeoning modeling career.
It’s in this Klimate (sorry)
that Kylie meets me at the
Jenner Communications
office—the mission control
for the family business…that
is, if your family business is,
well, your family. Down the
hall is the conference room
where Kylie meets her private
tutor five days a week. It’s a
unique classroom in which
to ponder one’s future—
in one corner, a dry-erase
board; in the other, a life-size
cardboard cutout of Kim;
behind it, a floor-to-ceiling
Wheaties poster fronted
by Kylie’s dad, Olympic
gold medalist Bruce Jenner.
No doubt, there are a lot of
lessons to be found here.
Shocking as it may sound
when speaking Kardashian,
being at ease in the public
eye is not genetic. It must be
learned. “When I was like 10,
11, 12, I had a really hard time
with the media. During your
adolescence, girls deal with
their peers at school, then
they go home and they don’t
have to deal with it [there]. It
was a lot more haters to deal
with…especially since I was
younger and my sisters were
so beautiful and had it all
together.” Did she consider
quitting the spotlight? I ask.
“Totally,” she replies, without
a second’s hesitation. “I still
do. But then I realize, it’s
the easiest job in the entire
world to just sit back and
hang out with your family.”
She’s been doing just that
on E!’s Keeping Up With
the Kardashians, currently
filming its 10th season, since
she was 10. And if her screen
time seems markedly less
than her sisters’, she says
that’s on purpose. “I don’t
show my friends. I like to
have my personal moments.”
Like the time she first got
her period in sixth grade, a
full year before Kendall.
“I called Khloé the second
it happened. I didn’t
want to tell anybody, not
even my mom,” she recalls.
Then there was the time her
parents told the family, with
cameras rolling, that they
were separating. “I didn’t say
anything,” she says. “I went
in my room and cried right
after.” They’ve since filed
for divorce, to which Kylie
shrugs, “If they’re happy, I’m
happy, I guess.”
Growing up, Kylie’s
biggest disciplinarian was
Khloé. “She’s always been
the strictest on me—taking
away my cell phone, having
my passwords to everything.
It made me love and respect
her so much because it
just showed that she cared.”
But while she considers
Khloé a “huge mother figure
in my life,” Kylie saves her
biggest defenses against the
rumor mill for the family
matriarch, Kris. “My sisters
have taught me to handle
it, so I’m expecting they can
handle it too, but I’m super
protective of my mom.”
For the Jenner girls,
fame has come less
from Kardashian-style
oversharing and more from
lending their names and
faces to collaborations. In
2014, Kylie and Kendall
COSMETICS. MANICURE: KIMMIE KYEES FOR CELESTINEAGENCY.COM. SET DESIGN: JESSE NEMETH FOR BA REPS.
PRODUCTION BY SHOTSIE KRAMER FOR FIRST SHOT PRODUCTIONS. SEE PAGE 210 FOR SHOPPING INFORMATION.
together launched fashion
HAIR: MARK TOWNSEND FOR DOVE HAIR CARE. MAKEUP: BEAU NELSON AT THE WALL GROUP USING NYX
lines with PacSun and Steve
Madden and coauthored
the YA novel Rebels: City
of Indra with writer Maya
Sloan. But in October, it
was Kylie alone whom
Bloomberg Businessweek
dubbed the “most influential
Kardashian.” According to
data collected from fashion
site Polyvore, users’ daily
searches for Kylie have
steadily increased over the
past two years. Searches
for her sisters, with the
exception of a few brief
spikes—for example, during
Kim and Kanye’s wedding
blitz—have leveled out.
Director’s
Cut
Top, The Kooples.
Skirt, Cynthia
Rowley. Shoes,
Sergio Rossi.
Earrings, Luv Aj.
Necklace, Collette
Ishiyama. Ring
(on left hand), Luv
Aj, (on right hand),
Alexis Bittar
BEAUTY TIP
THE SECRET TO
PLUSH, PILLOWY
LIPS LIKE KYLIE’S?
LINING WITH A
NUDE PENCIL
BEFORE APPLYING
COLOR. TRY
COVERGIRL’S LIP
PERFECTION LIP
LINER IN SEDUCE,
$6.50, UNDER
YOUR FAVORITE
LIPSTICK.

Laces Out
Top, CG. Shirt,
Denim & Supply
Ralph Lauren.
Shorts, DL1961
Premium
Denim. Shoes,
Ohne Titel.
Earrings, Luv Aj.
Rings (on left
hand), Luv Aj,
(on right hand),
Alexis Bittar
 Kris has attributed Kylie’s
rise, in part, to her decision
to rock blue hair at Kim’s
wedding. The choice, which
caused tension with the bride,
led to a business deal: Kylie
Hair Kouture, the teenager’s
new line of extensions
with Bellami Hair. More
important, it solidified Kylie’s
place as a lone wolf in a
family of style stars. Walk into
a salon and ask for The Kylie
and any stylist worth her
Moroccan oil will ask, What
color? “I’m always seeing
hairstylists on Instagram say
I just did the @KylieJenner,”
she says. Not since Jennifer
Aniston’s “Rachel” has a hair
style been so popular—if hard
to pin down.
Last week, Kylie’s hair
was gray. Today, it’s a deeply
saturated ombré teal. There’s
a space-punk vibe about her,
a by-product perhaps of her
fascination with aliens.
“I’ve been to Area 51 and
talked to people who claim
to have been abducted. I’m
super interested in aliens,
but they terrify me because
I one hundred percent
believe in them.” This look
won’t last long though.
Despite, or maybe because
of, the legions of copycats
she’s inspired, she’s already
over it. “I never stay between
the lines. I’ll change my
style completely next week.
Everyone’s always confused.”
It’s a move that’s fast-
tracked her to usurping
her sisters’ popularity. Her
15.3 million Instagram
followers—that’s more than
Katy Perry, Rihanna, and
Miley Cyrus—are always
watching and refreshing. But
Kylie’s show-and-do-not-tell
habit has come with its own
scrutiny. About those lips….
Take a time-lapse of
Kylie’s selfies and her lips
clearly appear to plump. But
on this morning, sipping a
Jamba Juice without so much
Wash Out
Jacket,
American
Eagle
Outfitters.
Dress, Vera
Wang
Collection
as Chapstick on, they appear
natural. Full and enviable,
for sure, but way less luscious
than the top-lined, bloodred
pout she’ll Instagram the
next day, inciting even more
cries of disbelief.
“You guys have watched
me grow up since I was
9,” she asserts. “My face is
going to get different. Now, I
know how to do my makeup,
contour and everything.” She
finds the rumors “that I’ve
had my whole face Botoxed,
jaw reconstructed, nose, lips,
boobs done” to be the most
ridiculous by far. And yet, she
doesn’t rule out any future
intervention. “I’m not against
surgery. I’d never say no, but I
don’t desire it right now.”
What she does want
someday is her own high-
end fashion line. “My sisters
and my mom are super
workaholics. Seeing all their
success is a big motivation.
And being around Kim and
this is definitely love. Then I
get in my next relationship,
and I’m like, no, this is it!
My last relationship lasted
almost three years,” she says,
possibly referring to Jaden
Smith (Will and Jada’s son),
with whom she’s been linked
in the past. “I don’t want to
say [I’ve been in love] twice,
but so far I’ve had two really
strong infatuations.” She’s
careful to never mention
Tyga by name, but as we
speak, it’s being reported
that Kim disapproves of
her littlest’s involvement
with the rapper. “I
know Kim recently
was saying this
Kylie’s and that about
Digits relationships,” Kylie
allows, “but I’m like,
15.3
MILLION
you have to let me
go through it or I’ll
INSTAGRAM never know.” What
FOLLOWERS
she can always rely
on is Kardashian–
Kanye…I love their
style together.”
7.72
MILLION
Jenner girl code: “If
a guy does one little
From her dad, she’s TWITTER thing to me, then
learned to face FOLLOWERS you’re dealing with
her fears head-on. like six other girls.”
“He always says
to expand your
2 TIMES
With a small
army of siblings
envelope and do SHE’S HAD to turn to for
things you’re afraid HER HEART advice—and to
BROKEN
of. So I’m always run distraction—
trying to find new Kylie can focus
things that I’m
scared of.” Like,
30 +
TIMES SHE’S
on being present.
“Truly living in the
say, becoming the DYED HER HAIR moment has made
family’s first pop my life a lot better.
star? “That’s a
rumor,” she says of
17PIERCINGS
Just like, move
on.” She fights the
reports that Tyga is urge to tweet about
helping her launch rumors with drafts.
a music career. “It “I think about it,
would be fun to type it out, but
take singing lessons. But if then I think, eh, it’s not
I ever started it, it would be worth it.” Indeed, the less
for fun, then I’d see if it went she says, the more people
anywhere.” want her. “I can have my
Trying new things, moments and say that I
seeing where they take you, don’t want this life anymore,
that’s the luxury of being but I wouldn’t trade it for
a teen—especially when it the world. The good is
comes to guys. “It’s crazy, definitely worth the bad.” ■
but every time I’m in a new
relationship, I feel like, okay,
FEBRUARY 2015 | COSMOPOLITAN 125
 sh ake
it up The best
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florals, s
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arl
in
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tripes, an
t’s do this
.
d

y a K anai
p h o to g ra s h io n d ir e c to r: A
fa
OPPOSITE PAGE: Dress, Marc Jacobs. Clutch, Elena Ghisellini. Shoes, Jimmy Choo. Cuffs, Arme de L’Amour. Bracelets (left arm, worn throughout),
Bella’s own Tiffany & Co., (right arm, thin bracelet, worn throughout) Bella’s own Cartier THIS PAGE: Crop top, Clover Canyon.
Skirt, Christian Siriano. Shoes, Alexandre Birman. Clutch, Mark Cross. Necklaces, Hearts on Fire. Rings, Maria Francesca Pepe

127
 ia o
c la!,
bel
Do you feel pressure to look
and act perfect 24/7?
I think a lot of girls do, and it’s
unfair because guys don’t.
Guys can have acne scars
and be overweight or rude. If
a girl is the least bit sarcastic
or she speaks out about
something, she’s a bitch. It’s
completely messed up.

How do you deal with

haters on social media?
If a girl wears a bathing suit,
she is a ho and is body-shamed.
If you don’t show your body,
you’re a prude. You take pic-
tures with a guy and you’re a
ho; you take pictures with a
girlfriend and you’re a lesbian. I
don’t understand how girls can
sit there and pick one another
apart. My friends and I don’t do
that. Even if I’m not having a
good day, my friends are always
like, “But babe, your style is
impeccable. I love your shoes.”
No matter what, we always
pick out the good things.

You and boyfriend Tristan

Klier have been on and off for
three years. What have you
learned along the way?
Do not stalk who [guys are]
following on Instagram, think-
ing, “She has this. Maybe he
likes that?” That’ll just kill you.
Take it from a girl who never
had boobs. Every woman in
my family has huge boobs.
And the girls in Tristan’s
school—I don’t know what’s
in their food, but all their boobs
are legit huge. I was always
flat-chested, and that really
gave me a complex growing
Bustier, Emporio
Armani. Skirt, up. Once I stopped stressing
Opening Ceremony. about them, they grew.
Shoes, Oscar Tiye. —RACHEL MOSELY
Hat, Paradise Bay
Trading Company.
Cuff, Ming Yu Wang

128
Jacket, pants,
heels, Fendi. Crop
top, Thakoon
 Swimsuit, Osklen Praia A&B. Headband, Cult Gaia. Earrings, Aurélie Bidermann. Necklace, Uribe. Lucite bracelets, Maria Francesca Pepe. Sunglasses, DSquared2

130
Top, skirt,
Moschino. Head
scarf, Forever 21.
Earrings, Aurélie
Bidermann

BEAUTY TIP
For the perfect
balance of color
and shine,
swipe Neutrogena
MoistureSmooth
Color Stick in Bright
Berry, $8.50,
on lips before you
head out.
Crop top, Derek Lam
10 Crosby. Shorts,
Valentino. Shoes,
Boss. Colored lucite
cuffs, Valentino.
Earrings, Bella’s own

BEAUTY TIP
Want fuller,
sexier hair? Try a
fortifying cream like
Neutrogena Triple
Repair Leave-In
Treatment, $7, before
heat styling.
Jacket, pants, Stella
McCartney. Top, By
Johnny. Shoes, Christian
Louboutin. Bag, Coach.
Sunglasses, Marc Jacobs

HAIR: Mark Townsend at

StarworksArtists.com.
MAKEUP: Jillian Dempsey
for The Wall Group.
MANICURE: Kimmie
Kyees for Celestine
Agency. PRODUCTION:
Michelle Hynek for First
Shot Productions.
See page 210 for shopping
information.

133
 Jacket, Micha
el
Michael Ko
rs.
Bra, Fleur dual.
M
Jeans, Emporio
Armani. Earrings
,
Pamela Love.
Necklace, Jenni
fer
Fisher. Cuff, Rob
ert
Lee Morris. Ring
,
Shaun Leane

This season’s smudgy,

glossy eye is hot and
hookup-ready. Use a
chubby black pencil (for
all product picks, flip to
page 139) to rim inner
and outer lash lines.
Then use your finger to
smudge the black up into
the crease. Finally, dab
clear lip balm onto the
center of your lids.
 Valentine’s is on a Saturday this year. That means no matter
your relationship sitch, you’re going out. Whether you’re
looking to finally DTR, spice up an LTR, or just have fun
with your crew, Maybelline New York global makeup artist
Yadim has the hottest new ways to own the 14th.
 Your crew, a dance
floor, and this graphic
teal eye are all you
need to have hella
fun, no man required.
Sweep a creamy teal
shadow directly above
your crease, from
the inner corners
outward—the more
abstract, the cooler. A
creamy nude lip keeps
all eyes on yours.
Top, Ohne Titel. Earrings , Xr
It helped Cleopatra lock
down man after man,
and a classic cat eye can
do the same for you. The
trick: gel liner applied
with a slanted liner brush.
Unlike pencil, it lasts
well into the a.m. hours.
Balance out bold eyes
with a sweep of blush.
Dress, Stella McCartney.
Shoes, Anthony Vaccarello X
Versus Versace. Earrings,
Jennifer Fisher. Cube bracelet,
Caterina Zangrando. Circle
bracelet, Uncommon Matters.
Ring, White Moth Jewelry

137
Switch things up for
your man from that go-to
smoky eye to a vibrant,
sexy strawberry wash
on cheeks and lips. Swirl
bright blush onto the
center of cheeks. Then
use your finger to press
a matching poppy lip-
stick into your lips—this
makes it melt into skin
naturally, and it’ll last
longer (perfect for a
make-out sesh).
Top, Cushnie et Ochs.
Necklace, Shaun Leane.
Bracelets, Paige Novick.
Rings, White Moth
Jewelry

Hair: Roberto di
Cuia (L’Atelier NYC)
using Oribe Hair Care.
Makeup: Yadim (global
makeup artist) for
Maybelline New York.
Manicure: Casey
Herman at Kate Ryan
Inc. for Chanel Le
Vernis. Model: Shanina
Shaik/IMG. See page
210 for shopping
information.
Your Sitch

Maybelline New York

Baby Lips Repairing Lip
Balm in Quenched,
$4.50
Diorshow Khôl Stick
in Smoky Black, $32

Your Sitch

Maybelline New York

The Creamy Mattes by
ColorSensational in
Daringly Nude, $7.50
Maybelline New
York Eye Studio Color
Tattoo 24 HR Cream
Gel Shadow in
Tenacious Teal, $8

Your Sitch

Chanel Angled Brow

Brush #12, $30
MAC Mineralize Blush
in Uplifting, $27
Your Sitch Maybelline New York
Eye Studio Lasting
Drama Gel Eyeliner, $10

Guerlain KissKiss in 361

Excessive Rose, $37
Maybelline New York
Dream Bouncy Blush
in Hot Tamale, $8
 LOVE
OTHER

& STUFF

EDITED BY MARINA KHIDEKEL

CRAZY

KINKY
FROM LEFT: JENNIFER AVELLO/THELICENSINGPROJECT.COM; SONJA LEKOVIC/STOCKSY; NC; GETTY IMAGES.

COOL
Kink fast: What’s the one forbidden
thing you’ve always wanted to try in bed?
B Y A NN A B R E S L AW A ND MI C HE L L E R U I Z

145
 ARE YOU
A DOM
OR A SUB?
Find out if you’re
a Christian or an
Ana in bed.
1. You order kale
at your fave res-
taurant. The waiter
brings spinach
salad instead. You:
a. Meekly eat the
inferior greens.
Christian blindfolded Anastasia (a multiorgas- b. Demand to speak
mic virgin, natch), tied her wrists to her ankles, to the manager and
and went down on her, it also made them crave leave with a lifetime
of comped meals.
some non-vanilla action in the sack.
“The day I downloaded Fifty Shades, I broke 2. You discover
Fifty Shades of Grey—the book that my personal single-day masturbation record,” an anonymous
brought kink mainstream—is back said Bea, a 32-year-old marketing manager coworker took
your stapler. Your
in cinematic form. Whether you love it (five times, in case you were wondering). That
response is to:
or hate it, it’s probably going to get night, she asked her husband to blindfold her
a. Buy another
you off all over again. Let’s discuss. during sex. Even kink veteran Julie Stewart,
stapler and write For
president of Sportsheets, a sex-toy company Everyone to Use <3
A N Y BONA FIDE BON DAGE - LOV ER will tell specializing in bondage gear like floggers and on it in glitter.
you (after her master gives her permission to handcuffs, fell prey to Fifty Shades, admitting, b. Send an all-
speak): Fifty Shades of Grey didn’t invent kink. “My husband and I had more sex for that month company e-mail
It was always a whisper—for all you know, than we’d had in the last five years.” with the subject line
your shy neighbor has always been slinking out Part of its draw was as escape fantasy, says “TO WHATEVER
PIECE OF HUMAN
after-hours with a riding crop in the hatchback Stef Woods, an instructor at American Uni- SCUM STOLE MY
of her Mini Cooper. But E L James’s erotic tril- versity who taught the undergraduate seminar STAPLER.”
ogy turned BDSM—bondage/discipline, domi- Contemporary American Culture: The Fifty
nation/submission, sadism/masochism—into Shades Trilogy. “Many busy women are just 3. You’re looking
a roar…or more aptly, a climactic moan hoping their man will remember their anni- for a partner who
knows:
of ecstasy. versary,” Woods says. “To have a character like
The shy British mom who began writing Christian, who takes control of everything and a. The knots you
prefer to be tied up
the books as Twilight fanfic under the name can make you orgasm from the slightest touch.…” with.
Snowqueens Icedragon has sold 100 Well, it can be pretty appealing. In
b. His place (hint: it’s
million copies worldwide since it was fact, 60 percent of women fanta- on his knees).
published in 2011, helping to bolster size about being dominated sexually,
the flaccid publishing industry. Now according to a new study published by MOSTLY A’S: SUB
comes the hotly anticipated movie, the Journal of Sexual Medicine. Submitting to
hitting theaters February 13. Whether it was to be tied up and someone else is
your strongest
Along the way, kink has strut- teased or to tie someone else up and aphrodisiac. The
ted out of the sex dungeons and into do the teasing (or a little of both), fact that you’re
the J.Crew-clad book clubs of the women went out and got what they willing to let go
’burbs. “Yes, I’ll have another glass of 3 Secret Kink needed—quite literally. Sales of Ben and indulge your
Props Hiding in Wa balls, the small spheres that darkest fantasies is
pinot—and, uh, what do you ladies Your House pretty baller.
think about nipple clamps?” Christian slips into Ana, soared—
1 HAIR ELASTIC = MOSTLY B’S: DOM
“Fifty Shades of Grey gave peo- HANDCUFFS
making sex toys so mainstream that
You get off on your
ple permission to talk about sex in a drugstores like CVS started selling
JON PATERSON/STUDIO D. STYLIST: SABRINA GRANDE.

Use it to bind his wrists. partner submitting

really public way,” says Tristan Taor- 2 HAIRBRUSH =
vibrators. to your whims, from
mino, author of The Ultimate Guide PADDLE Whether the movie is good or bad whips and chains to
to Kink. “People said, ‘Hey, I think I Volumizing boar (or so bad, it’s good), whether Jamie dirty talk that would
bristles feel naughty on make E L James
just discovered something about my Dornan feather-tickles your fancy blush.
a bare bum.
own sexuality from reading this.’” or not, most women with a pulse are
3 ELECTRIC P.S. Some people go
Namely, a deeper desire for kinky going to see it anyway. And chances both ways. They’re
TOOTHBRUSH =
sex they didn’t know they had. Yes, are, they’re going to have lots and lots called switches.
VIBRATOR
the cheesy prose made many women Hold the base against of kinky sex after they do. Bad dia- —A.B.
cringe (who really says “Holy cow” your clitoris during sex. logue aside, that’s worth celebrating.
at the height of passion?), but when —ADAPTED FROM 69
—M.R.
SHADES OF COSMO,
FROM THE EDITORS

146 OF COSMOPOLITAN
(HEARST BOOKS)
 kink myth
vs. reality
MYTH: Kink is all about pain.
REALITY: It’s all about taking
control of or giving up control to
your partner…and maybe
some pain that you
happen to find hot or
pleasurable.

P E E K A B O OB
Kink 101: Dress the
part with with see-
through lingerie.
An adorable cherub
lolling on your lady
garden will
make you feel like a
naughty nymph.
Bra, $180, brief, $135,
Edge o’Beyond,
edgeobeyond.com

M Y T IE S
The LBD of BDSM:
versatile ties that can
be worn as a blindfold
or as a painless way to
tie your (or his) wrists
above your (or his)
head. When you can’t
see or use your hands,
all you can focus on is
Holy sh*t, where will
his fingers go next?
Silk entangle ties, $15,
thepleasurechest.com

T HE A R T
OF T HE T IC K L E
Use a feather tickler
to dust off your
bookshelf—or to tickle
your man’s nips (and
other tender parts).
Don’t knock it till you
try it: Feather on skin
is a highly underrated,
tingly turn-on.
Fifty Shades of Grey
feather tickler, $13,
adamandeve.com

K INK Y B O O T S
Stage your own off-
off-off-Broadway
production, starring
you in the role of
“irresistible dominatrix”
and costarring your
boyfriend in the role of
“guy who’s been very,
very bad.”
Baby steps! Try kink on for size with Boots, Schutz, $380,
these sexy (not scary) moves. shop.schutz-shoes.com
 kink myth
vs. reality
MYTH: Only sexual
deviants with broken pasts
are into BDSM.
REALITY: It’s a perfectly
healthy sexual flavor, not
unlike, say, shower
sex.
 P R E T T Y IN K INK
Tie yourself up in racy
ribbons that would
make Martha Stewart
shudder. A cupless bra
and crotchless panty
(the French call them
ouverts) have never
looked so lovely.…
Bra, $136, panty, $128,
Coco de Mer,
coco-de-mer.com

C UF F L O V E
You’re a grown
woman, so furry gag-
gift cuffs won’t do.
Loop these around a
bedpost or bannister,
and have him bind your
hands before he gives
you the goods.
Handcuffs, Coco de Mer,
$110, coco-de-mer.com

D ON’ T
CROP NOW
Give him a love tap
that’ll leave a delicious
heart-shaped mark
on his ass. Excellent
when paired with role-
play, like professor
catching student
texting under the table.
Red-heart crop, $40,
thepleasurechest.com

T HE R E A L- L IF E
M A GIC WA ND
JON PATERSON/STUDIO D. STYLIST: SABRINA GRANDE. OPPOSITE PAGE: NC; STEVEN LYON/THELICENSINGPROJECT.COM; NC (2).

This G-spot massager

has a reputation for
turning non-squirters
into the Bellagio
fountain. After a quick
wash, use it as an objet
d’art on your coffee
table. Your book club
will never suspect.
Pure wand, $110,
You’ve mastered the basic bitch moves of kink. Now here’s how to up your game. njoytoys.com

IF CHRISTIAN COSMO: What makes COSMO: What are the COSMO: What’s the most COSMO: What’s your
GREY WERE BDSM so sexy? most popular requests extreme thing someone advice for women who
CHRISTINA MADELINE: When
when men ask to be has asked for? are interested in trying
Not all doms are male someone submits
dominated? LEE: There’s the paper-
BDSM with a long-term
millionaires. Meet themselves to you LEE: Anal strap-on crumpling fetish [client
partner?
professional dominatrixes completely or vice versa, play is a big one—also gets turned on when MADELINE: Safe words
Maitresse Madeline and you’re seeing another cuckolding [the client she crumples paper], are sexy! They’re a sign
Lorelei Lee, at Kink.com, human being at his most watches while she has electro-play, foot- you’re pushing your
America’s unofficial vulnerable. This can be a sex with another dude] f*cking. I mean, I can go boundaries and having
BDSM headquarters. huge turn-on. and spanking. on and on…[laughs]. sex in a new way.

FEBRUARY 2015 | COSMOPOLITAN 149

 MORE
RACY
READS!
Fifty Shades is
no East of Eden.
If you want
more substance
in your erotica…

Story of O
by Anne Desclos
(pen name: Pauline
Réage)
The classic follows
a Parisian fashion
Cheaper than couples therapy, now with ninety-nine percent more nipple torture! photographer
who submits to
I R E A LI ZED J UST W H AT A good boyfriend I have the dominant
as Mistress Wynter looped a thin black rope Sir Stephen. No
down the center of Greg’s balls and tied it under- spoiler: Os ensue.
neath as casually as a girl making a lanyard
bracelet at summer camp. “It looks like they’re
wearing a thong,” I observed. Lying on his stom-
ach, blindfolded, he blushed. We were at the
DMV. Just kidding, we were doing a couples ses-
sion with a professional dominatrix.
Mistress Wynter is a curvy 40something who The Killer Wore
seems like somebody’s fun aunt—except that Leather
men (and sometimes women) schedule sessions by Laura Antoniou

MICHAEL DONOVAN/THELICENSINGPROJECT.COM. BOOKS: COURTESY. OPPOSITE PAGE: JON PATERSON/STUDIO D. STYLIST: SABRINA GRANDE.
for her to literally bust their balls. She has a vel- A sendup of the
vety, soothing voice that almost drains the horror kink community
from a sentence like “We’ll do a little CBT [cock but still steamy
and ball torture] on you now.” lesbian erotica
Before we began, Mistress showed us the in its own right:
extensive and obscure collection of sex toys A detective
hanging on the red walls of her New York lair. heads to a BDSM
(Not exactly soothing so much as terrifying.) conference to
Did you know that a painful leather strap called “investigate.”
a Lochgelly Tawse was once used to discipline
Scottish schoolchildren? You do now.
Let the games begin. First, she and Greg dom-
inated me. Mistress Wynter squeezed my nipples
with increasing pressure, staring into my eyes I ’ D BE LY I NG IF I SA ID we brought nipple
and daring me to say the safe word (“please”) as torture into the bedroom, but later in the week,
Greg stood awkwardly behind her in his under- handcuffs were used to great effect on me. Carrie’s Story
wear. I didn’t want to seem like a weakling, so I What did we learn about each other? I’d been by Molly Weatherfield
breathed deeply and relaxed into the pain, which concerned this might bring out some deep- English-major
resulted in a Zen feeling that was both unex- seated anger that culminated in our smacking Carrie, “the
pected and pretty erotic. the shit out of each other while screaming “Do thinking reader’s
Then it was Greg’s turn. We tied him up and the dishes more!” but I couldn’t have been more submissive,” goes
“punished” him with a flogger. Dominating was wrong. I got super protective of him when it was on a European
trickier. I had to get my whip game on point (it’s her turn with the whip—a great reminder of how adventure with
all in the wrist, FYI) and learn the delicate knots much I love him. I had always wanted him to a dashing,
involved in the aforementioned CBT. Mistress be a little more submissive in bed too. After we dominating
noted that he’d probably have a boner from the did this, he realized he kind of liked being a sub. architect.
pressure of it all if she weren’t in the room and Hopefully, now he’ll listen to me about the dishes.
we were alone. (He blushed again.) —A.B.

150
 BE S T IN BE N WA
kink myth Slide the balls inside
vs. reality you—they vibrate
as you move, whether
MYTH: A woman who’s a you’re having sex or just
submissive isn’t a feminist. casually walking down
REALITY: If being a sub turns the street. So ballsy.
you on and you’re asking Luna Beads Noir, Lelo,
for exactly that, you’re $34, lelo.com
a total feminist.
P INC H OF
P L E A S UR E
On Wednesdays, we
wear pink…nipple
clamps. Slip them on
at the widest angle of
the clamp for the least
pain. When you take
them off, the blood
rushes to your girls.
Sex Kitten clamps, $25,
amazon.com

S C A R Y- S E X Y
A Wartenberg wheel
may look like a ravioli
cutter, but when your
partner runs it over
your inner thigh, its
tickling touch will have
you begging for more.
Wartenberg wheel, $20,
babeland.com

STROKE
OF GE NIU S
Give him a hard smack
on the butt—or gently
run the strands over
his bare back like he’s
in a delicious human
car wash.
Red and Black Stripe flogger,
$12, sexandmischief.com

Congrats! You’ve
graduated from Kink
Academy with a
PhD in leather-strap
lingerie and a minor in
nipple embellishment.
Harness bra with pasties,
$255, shop
.zanabayne.com

Let’s just say, this isn’t your first rodeo. You’re ready for a flogger
and you don’t care who knows it. Keep your routine fresh with a few new tricks.…
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 1 4
KEEP IT “CLASSY” GET COOKING
If you’re not into hella Join forces with bae
foofy love stuff, snuggle to conquer that
in the back row of complicated quinoa-kale
intelligent art-house soup recipe from your
film RoboCop. “Yeah, okay, Gwyneth”
Pinterest board.
2
GO BIG OR GO HOME 5
But if foofy is your SWEAT HARD
middle name, embrace Splurge on a trendy
V-Day tradition. It’s the workout class you’d
one night you won’t normally roll your eyes
give a crap about being at. You’ll fall in love!
judged for PDAs. With your emerging

7
six-pack.
3
STAY IN 6

WAYS TO
Rather than trying BOND WITH A BESTIE
to get a last-minute res Stay in with your BFF,
at Chez Fancyface, Thai takeout, and the
hit up the little Mexican complete works

WIN AT
takeout joint around of Channing Tatum. A
the corner. Burritos romantic foursome:
in bed = Brontë-level you, her, Chay Tates, and
romance. his shirtless torso.

VALENTINE’S 7
CALL YOUR PINCH HITTER
CHRIS CRAYMER/TRUNK ARCHIVE

Remember that boring

DAY
Even if you want to bust a cap in Cupid’s ass.
agricultural lawyer
you met on Tinder last
month who talked too
much about crop rotation
but was a great bang?
BY ANNA BRESLAW Text that guy.

153
first comes love,
then comes...

154
moving in!
FROM DIVIDING DIRTY DISHES TO, AHEM, OTHER
DIRTY THINGS TO DO AROUND YOUR NEW NEST,
HERE’S HOW TO MAKE LIVING TOGETHER
FEEL LIKE HOME SWEET HOME.
by Maura Kutner Walters
 4 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Shacking Up
If one of you got a job
across the country,
would you move there
C
with the other?
If you’d live anywhere with
this person—because you
truly want to take things to
the #NextLevel—you should
feel good about apartment
hunting. But if moving in is
about saving rent or ditching
lame roommates, think twice.
“Cohabiting for convenience
may lock you into a relationship
that isn’t good for you,” says
W. Bradford Wilcox, PhD,
director of the National Marriage
Project, at the University of
Virginia. He says couples who
make intentional decisions about
milestones like moving in are
more likely to stay together than
Cohabitation is those who casually “slide” into
the new getting big transitions because it seems
easy. Think about the “woulds”
engaged. Almost of living together rather than the
“shoulds” (i.e., “I’d gladly have this
50 percent of guy in my bed every night” versus
young women “All my friends live with their
boyfriends, so I should too”).
in the U.S. live
with a lovah Can we deal with
before saying household stuff
without hating each
“I do.” When other’s guts?
should you do it, A serious concern about his
character (he’s really selfish)
what does your could be a deal breaker. But if
you’re worried about his habit
boyfriend really of leaving crusty chili bowls in
think about it— the sink, that’s totally normal.
In fact, 83 percent of women
and how can a say moving in with a boyfriend
or girlfriend for the first time
giant cardboard is a “real challenge,” and the
box double as a toughest issue is dividing chores,
according to a survey by online
sex prop? Read art marketplace UGallery.
on, then pack Handle it Olivia Pope–style
before move-in day: Order
your bags and takeout, uncork wine, and divvy
future tasks according to your
change your strengths—maybe he’s boss at
address to 6969 cooking, and you’re the lord of
dishwasher loading. And plan to
Love Boulevard. “negotiate your personal space,”
says Samantha Boardman, MD,
a clinical instructor in psychiatry
156 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015
at Weill Cornell Medical College.
“Having separate drawers
and closets provides a sense of
autonomy and makes you less
likely to freak out when he leaves
his towel on the floor.” Preach!
Are we ready to
have a serious chat
about money?
It’s not the sexiest conversation,
but you should be comfortable
going there because cosigning
a lease is no joke. “If your part-
ner misses a rent payment, that
could ding your credit score, since
cosigning means you’re respon-
sible for any missing money,” says
Alexa von Tobel, founder and
CEO of LearnVest and Cosmopol-
itan’s financial columnist. (Your
name should be on the lease so if
you break up, you don’t get kicked
out.) Von Tobel suggests budget-
ing how much you’ll each be able
to pay in rent and bills. There’s no
rule that says you have to split it
50/50—if one of you makes more
and is okay with paying more, so
be it. What matters is making a
plan you’re both happy with—and
sometimes tossing the bills aside
and making out.
?
Do we want moving
in to lead to marriage?
Forget your mom’s old saying
about the cow and the milk.
Moving in doesn’t mean he’ll
never put a ring on it. In fact,
two-thirds of new marriages
are between people who lived
with their partner beforehand,
according to recent data from
the Council on Contemporary
Families. Sharing your space
can make cohabitation feel like
a “trial marriage” for a lot of
couples, says Arielle Kuperberg,
PhD, an associate professor of
sociology at the University of
North Carolina at Greensboro.
But don’t assume that moving
in is going to lead to a big fat
wedding. Be honest about where
you want the relationship to go
before you move in, and make
sure you see eye to eye on “I do.”
 “
On our first night in
our new apartment after
moving in together,
my now-husband and
I celebrated with gin
Confessions martinis. Later, he was
of the awakened by flickering
lights. He turned to see
Cohabitants me with a giant spoon
of peanut butter in my
Didn’t you read the fine
mouth and an energy
print on your lease? bar in one hand, violently
It said: Sometimes living flipping the light switch
together is awkward, back and forth. I was
embarrassing, and hilarious. sleepwalking! When he
These people learned asked what I was doing,
the hard way. still asleep, I inexplicably
told him, ‘Don’t worry.
It’s for the group.’ I was
beyond mortified.”
—CASE Y, 28

“ One day, my
parents came by
our apartment for
a visit. It was the
first time I realized
my boyfriend had
a gross habit of
sticking his hands
down his pants and
cradling his balls,
as if they were a
convenient resting
place. My entire
family noticed and
talked about it,
and when I finally
brought it up, he
had no idea why it
was inappropriate.
Needless to say,
we broke up.”

“
—MICHELLE, 31

After I cooked dinner for my boyfriend—topless, because that’s what you

do when you live together—he decided to Skype with his cousin. I had no idea
he had logged on and walked by the screen with my boobs out.” —ASHLE Y, 28
 6
Guys are twice as likely as

months
women to expect to move in
after dating for this long (or
less), according to Match
.com. Easy, guys—let’s start
with a dresser drawer.

COHABITATION FRUSTR ATION: MAJOR MOVING-IN ISSUES, SOLVED! PROFESSIONAL MODELS AND THE IMAGES ARE FOR ILLUSTRATIVE PURPOSES ONLY.

Now that you’re playing house, what could possibly go wrong? Oh, nothing much—just blending your social lives,
negotiating who rules the Apple TV, and dealing with his “decor sensibility” or lack thereof. We say pssht, you got this.
ALL IMAGES: TRINETTE REED/STOCKSY. THE INDIVIDUALS PICTURED ARE

HE: Wants to YOU: Want to HE: Wants YOU: Are not HE: Gets YOU: Believe YOU: Go into SHE: I nsists
stay in, make go out for old- to bring his impressed aroused by laundry anaphylactic on seeing
seven-layer fashioneds barf-colored that its grease the scent should be shock if you Girls live in
dip, and play and gossip velvet couch stains look of Spring done once a don’t watch the exact
Halo every with your girl when he like a map of Meadow Tide quarter, max. Downton in time slot.
Friday night. posse. moves in. Hawaii. detergent What smelly real time.
WHAT TO DO: Go! Having a WHAT TO DO: Convince pods. yoga gear? WHAT TO DO: Buy her an
ILLUSTRATOR: PATRICK GEORGE.

life outside your new nook
will keep things interest-
ing. You can miss your man
and feel the sweet satisfac-
tion of seeing his cute face
when you get back.
him to sell the couch on
Craigslist, buy a respect-
able frame for his Kill
Bill poster, and let it hang
in the hallway. Hey, it’s
his home now too.
WHAT TO DO: H ave him per-
manent-press you atop the
vibrating washing machine
for sex that’s anything
but delicate cycle. Really,
just add sex to any chore.
HBO Go subscription for
her birthday so she can
watch Lena live from her
iPad. Think of it as money
saved on couples therapy.
—Michelle Ruiz

158 FOR MORE MOVING-IN-TOGETHER WISDOM, HEAD TO THE DIGITAL EDITION AT MY.COSMOPOLITAN.COM.
 5 Sex
Positions to
Christen

What He Really Thinks Before Moving In With You

Every Room
Do it all over your new
place—even if your
neighbors hate you.

IN T HE S HOW E R
Before officially shacking up with his
The Rubber Fuck-ie girlfriend, writer Peter Martin gave it a
The surfbort for people who don’t trial run. Here’s how that turned out.
have giant tubs. He
squats, you reverse-straddle My girlfriend and I dated
him. Control the bounce— for four years before we moved
and treat yourself with in together. I hear that’s a
the detachable showerhead. long time.
It’s not that I wasn’t sure
about her—there’s nobody I’d
rather be a sous chef for or have
interrupt my shower to ask a
ON A MOV ING B OX “very important” question about
The Bouncy Boxxx her first fantasy-football team.
He lies back on a sturdy box, you I just wasn’t sure about living
get on top, legs on the floor. together. I come from a pretty
Push off the ground for bounce.
religious family for one thing,
His elevated hips will add at
least another inch to his package.
so cohabitation would involve
changing our mailing address
to the Fiery Pits of Hell. More
than that, I like being alone,
preferably on the couch and pref-
erably in shorts. She was nervous
too, worried that if we moved
IN T HE K I T C HE N
The Slow Cooker in before we were engaged or
Sit on the edge of your married and things didn’t go
shiny new kitchen counter. Pull smoothly at first, we’d give up
your knees up, and arch your too easily.
hips in a low bridge while Circumstances finally gave
he stands between your legs for us the necessary push. When
some piping-hot sexing. our friends needed a place to
live while they waited for a new
apartment, we decided to try
shacking up. For two months,
ON T HE F L OOR
our friends took my apartment,
The Virginia Johnson
No bed? Straddle him with and I moved into my girlfriend’s
your left leg bent over 350-square-foot studio. If we
his left hip and right leg between could endure living in a home so
his legs. Lower yourself small you could open the oven
and get to “researching.” and flush the toilet from the
same spot on the couch, any-
thing else would be simple.
Still, we worried that the
close quarters and constant
IN T HE BE DROOM
togetherness would make us
The Tawdry Twist hate each other, so we force-
You lie on your back, he planned time alone. (She would
kneels in front of you, pulling do more dinners with her
your legs straight up. He can friends and without me, or I
use his free hand to rub would shift my gym schedule
your clit or breasts. Or unpack
your silverware. Whatever.
—Anna Breslaw FEBRUARY 2015 | COSMOPOLITAN
to give her the apartment after
work.) It took only a week before
we realized we didn’t need to
do that. As it turned out, I liked
opening the door every night to
my favorite face, and she…liked
having someone around who
could reach the breakfast plates
without a step stool.
I eventually moved back to
my place, but when her lease
was up that summer, it was an
easy decision for her to move in.
There have been issues, sure.
My preference for sitting on the
couch over going out can be a
challenge for anyone with a nor-
mal social life. And I get irra-
tionally angry when asked if
the dishwasher is clean or dirty.
As for her, she’s not at all both-
ered by clutter. If there’s a chair
nearby, she prefers it to a closet.
She’s scared to open mail that
looks like it won’t be easy to deal
with—updates from mutual
funds, changes in her insurance
plan—so instead she piles it up
on the bookshelf.
You overcome that stuff
mostly by getting over your-
self…and by figuring out the few
things that truly bother you and
letting the other person know.
I’m able to still cherish my alone
time because she graciously
accommodates me with a little
Peter Time each week. Her
mail pile? It kills me. But even
though she hates going through
it, she does it more often
than she’d like—for me. Seeing
her do that is just as rewarding
as coming home to dinner
and a hug…or the surprise
appearance of a breast. ■
159
SEX Q&A
No-BS responses to questions
you can only ask Cosmo
BY MICHELLE RUIZ

QI was hungover
and had a terrible
headache—but
after sex with my
boyfriend, it was
totally gone! Does
sex = medicine? Q I have a fear of uncircumcised penises. Do I handle
one any differently than a snipped penis?
A Don’t be scared—it’s just a
penis with a (skin) turtle-
neck on. When “uncut”
penises are hard, it’s tough
to tell the difference. Try
gingerly brushing back his
foreskin during an HJ
or BJ. There’s much ado
about the foreskin (that’s one
of Shakespeare’s lost
plays)—some studies say
uncircumcised penises are
more sensitive because the
nerve-rich foreskin is still
attached. Other studies say
sexual feeling is the same
for both types. Every guy
is different, but “you may
find that you can be down
there for a half hour giving
oral sex to a circumcised
guy, and it may only take
10 minutes with an uncir-
cumcised one,” says sex
therapist Tiffanie Henry,
PhD. Sold yet?

Q I’m a virgin. Be honest—what does the first time feel like?

A Truth: For most women, it’s a combo of exciting, awkward, and painful. If the only thing that’s
ever been inside you is a finger or a tampon, sex is stretching your vagina for the first time. “It can
feel more like pressure than pain,” says sex therapist Henry. Of course, sex also comes with
emotional feels. “Women and men both tend to say that first-time sex is better when they do it
with someone they trust,” says Herbenick. Whether he’s your boyfriend or not, if it’s his first
time, he probably won’t last long. And you may not O—but lots of foreplay and touching your
clitoris during sex will give you a better shot. The good news is sex gets better with practice.

160 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015 E-MAIL YOUR SEX QUESTIONS TO SEXQANDA@COSMOPOLITAN.COM.

 QMy fiancé wants to
have a one-month
sex hiatus before
our wedding night.
I’m worried it will
make him a minute
man. Who’s right?
A A pre-wedding sex ban
can lead to a big buildup…
and an awesome orgasmic
release. “For some, desire can
be like shaking a soda can,”
says Henry. “If you wait and
wait for so long, you’ll feel
like you’re about to pop.” (Cut
to you two bailing on the last
dance to go ravage each other
Q I just had sex for the first time six weeks after having a baby, like a horny, just-married
and it was really, really painful. Will it ever get better? Duggar and her groom.) Call-
ing time-out on sexy time
A Yes, it will stop hurting like a mother. Estrogen floods your body during pregnancy, then plummets
CLOCKWISE FROM TOP: GETTY IMAGES; JON PATERSON/STUDIO D; RADIUS IMAGES/CORBIS; JULIE DE LESELEUC/GETTY IMAGES.

won’t necessarily hurt his

after birth, resulting in vaginal dryness, says Rebecca Brightman, MD, an ob-gyn. And we all know dry endurance. But if he does
vagina = painful sex. Tears to your perineum from a vaginal birth don’t help either. When your period blow it super quickly, you can
returns around 45 days after baby (if you’re not breast-feeding), estrogen levels come back up and sex go again on the honeymoon.
gets sexier. For now, use lots of lube. The reality: If it never got better, no one would have a second child. And the rest of your life!

Q Miley Cyrus claims
pineapple juice makes
blow jobs taste better.
Is this true?
SEX TOY
A Tragically, there’s no good OF THE MONTH
data on this. Still, “there’s no end
What’s the best
to old wives’ tales about the
magical semen taste-enhancing toy for…couples to
powers of pineapple juice or, try together?
according to Sex and the City,
The We-Vibe 4 Plus ($179, babeland.com) is a
wheatgrass,” says Herbenick.
U-shaped treasure with triple (!) orgasm capabilities.
When we eat pungent foods,
Slip its thinner end inside you and invite him
they can linger in our systems
in too (daunting but doable in our tests). We-Vibe
and affect the smell of our breath
stimulates your G-spot and vibrates against his penis
and urine, for example, says
during sex as the external end tickles your clitoris.
George Preti, PhD, member and
In an LDR? You can remote-control the vibes via a
researcher, Monell Chemical
free iPhone or Android app, so even if you’re in
Senses Center. Something simi-
London and he’s in France, he’ll
lar could happen with pineapple
still be in your underpants.
and semen. But Miley’s com-
ment might be a stretch.

161
Your Guide to the Male Brain

“Pretending I gave a shit

about religion. Turns out,
she really did, and it ended
up biting me in the ass.
Every. Freaking. Sunday.”
—CHRIS H., 26

“I regret buying
her a gym
membership
for her
birthday.
That didn’t go
over well.”
—HARRISON B., 27

THE OH-SH*T FILES

Guys’ Biggest
Relationship “I went home with a
pretty girl, and we just

Regrets lay next to each other

in bed and passed
out. I was too scared
We asked dudes to search of rejection to make a
move.” —GREG F., 25
their souls and reveal
their most epic dating
remorse. We regret
to inform you guys that
hindsight is 20/20.
BY MARISSA GAINSBURG AND
GABRIELLE HURWITZ

“I wrote her
a love poem “Leaving porn up
almost every on her computer.
day.…It was too Then not being
much, too fast. able to get it
No wonder she up after. Oops.”
dumped me!” —GRAHAM S., 26
—BEN C., 26

162 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015

 CHECK, PLEASE

Looking Up
and to the Left
Just the Tip
He’s being honest when How much he gives
he says he forgot your the waiter or bartender
macarons at the office. can be a really
good indication of
how, ahem, giving
he’ll be back at
THE MALE GAZE
your place post-date.
BY ANNA BRESLAW
Decode His Eye Language Looking Up OVER 25%
Valentine’s Day: The perfect time to Either he’s being flashy to
and to the Right… impress you or he’s a prince
romantically gaze into his eyes… …After he didn’t call like who’s going undercover
and figure out what’s in his brain. he said he would. He’s to find out if people truly like
BY ANNA BRESLAW gearing up to spit some him for who he is. Yes,
B.S. about working late. those are the only two options.

25%
He too has served mozzarella
sticks as a Wearer of
the Humiliating Tchotchkes—
and it taught him to
be respectful. Keep him!

20%
This standard tip is the
decent thing to do,
His Eyes Dart Looking Down Looking Down like wearing a nice gingham
Back and Forth and to the Left and to the Right… shirt and not burping.
It doesn’t mean he’s He’s choosing not to …After glancing at the
checking out other hear you when you say menu. He’s overwhelmed
15%
His rent check just got
girls at the bar—he’s you prefer chocolate by choices. Tell him cashed (finance code: red)
just out of small talk. lava cake to panna cotta. to go for the prix fixe! and/or he’s inconsiderate of the
COLLECTION. “DECODE HIS EYE LANGUAGE” SOURCE: FACIAL READING EXPERT, JEAN HANER, AUTHOR OF THE WISDOM OF YOUR FACE .
OPPOSITE PAGE, CLOCKWISE FROM TOP: EVERETT COLLECTION (5). “DUDE DATA” SOURCE: INSIDEHOOK.COM, MATCH.COM. THIS PAGE,

service industry (douche-bag

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP: BEN GOLDSTEIN/STUDIO D; SHUTTERSTOCK/PATRYK KOSMIDER; JAMES DAY/GETTY IMAGES; EVERETT

code: Taylor Swift–lipstick red).

10%
Is your waiter Hannibal Lecter?
No? Then this guy sucks.

COINS
If he is all about the
Looking Avoiding Eye Gazing Straight Washingtons (i.e. quarters)
Straight Up… Contact… Into Your Eyes… and treats the waitstaff like his
…During your “So, what …Mid-convo. He’s a …At any point during servants, he’s probably a trust-
are we?” talk. He wants little intimidated by you. fund brat. Put him on Daddy’s
dinner. He respects
jet and send him back to
to avoid the subject— Maybe because you the hell out of you. the Vineyard, where he belongs.
maybe because he’s still ordered that fancy Côtes You’re his Beyoncé.
weighing his options. du Rhone, boss lady. Snaps.

MAN OVERBOARD

The Pinterest Giggity!

of His Dreams
What’s the man version of a
sock-bun tutorial? (Hint: the 30 ♥ 25 80 ♥ 17 100 ♥ 300 THIS IS A SECRET BOARD

infinite wisdom of Family Guy.) Inspirational Quotes Boobs or Butt? Adorbs Puppies
BY ANNA BRESLAW AND HELIN JUNG American hero Boobs that look like butts, LOLOL This little fella

FEBRUARY 2015 | COSMOPOLITAN 163

Sexy, contemporary stories for today’s
fun
fearless
female.

Sexy new reads every month, written by authors who know just
what kind of quickie every Cosmo girl wants.

Visit www.Harlequin.com/Cosmo today!

 He gives new
meaning to
#NoFilter.

ASK HIM
ANYTHING
LOVE ADVICE FROM OUR
GUY GURU, LOGAN HILL

I just started seeing this guy

whose Insta feed is filled with
pics of him partying with girls
hanging all over him—but he’s
being awesome to me. Should
I say anything about his feed?
A I don’t know why
everyone is supposed to
pretend they don’t see each
other’s social-media feeds.
The idea that any of us—
man or woman—isn’t
Google-stalking a partner is
crazy. We see you. You see
Q My friend’s boyfriend is extremely touchy-feely with
us. Every time you pretend me and all our girlfriends. It makes us really uncomfortable.
to be the chill girl (and
aren’t) or act like nothing
How should we handle him?
is bothering you (when you A Like dogs who keep humping your leg, guys with boundary issues need to be tamed. Confront Mr.
can’t stop thinking of that Handsy any way you’d like. Politely: “Um, could you please stop touching me?” Cynically: “You know
Instagram picture), it adds I’m not having a threesome with you, right?” Hotel-like: “Do not disturb/No molestar.” Or directly:
a little bullshit to your “What the eff, dude?” The phrasing doesn’t matter. It’s the no-joke intonation that will tell him no.
relationship. The thing is,
pics—and tweets—can be
deceiving. He probably has Q I met an amazing A Go for it—but carefully. Plenty of people swing, Spidey-
the same anxieties about guy, but he just style, from one relationship to the next without falling flat.
MARION CURTIS/STARTRAKS

your feed. Rather than stew,
let him know you can see his
Amaro-filtered adventures
the Insta way: Start following
him and “heart” the next pic
he posts of his sushi deluxe.
got out of a serious
relationship and has
a kid with his ex.
Should I cut my losses
now or go for it?
We all know the happy couple who got together when
everyone was whispering, “Too soon!” But we also know
the guy who thought he had his act together, when he was
actually in no shape to make a real commitment. (I’ve
been that guy. If you’re reading this: Sorry.) Give it a shot,
but if your Spidey sense starts tingling, listen to it.

SEND YOUR GUY-RELATED DILEMMA TO ASKHIMANYTHING@COSMOPOLITAN.COM. FEBRUARY 2015 | COSMOPOLITAN 167

 Have a smokin’ hot Valentine’s Day.
.L[[OPUNZÄYLK\W^P[O:\TTLY»Z,]L®*SLHUZPUN*SV[OZ*SLHUZPUN>HZOHUK+LVKVYHU[:WYH`

summerseve.com
© 2015 Fleet Laboratories, Inc.
 Get fresh this
Cheers to
totally Valentine’s Day.
platonic guy
friends! In more ways
than one.

Q My really good guy friend just got into a

pH-balanced and gynecologist-
serious relationship. Should I still be tested, they’re freshness on the run,
making Valentine’s Day more fun.
trying to hang out with him one-on-one,
or is that suddenly inappropriate?
A Keep hanging out with him—unless you’ve set up permanent residence in a
medieval Renaissance Faire where it’s scandalous for an unattached maiden to be
seen with a rapscallion knave. If this guy’s girlfriend is cool, she’ll understand that
sometimes guys have female friends. But to avoid any controversy, grab a meal with
the guy and his girlfriend occasionally. That way, it won’t look like you have any
ulterior motives. You and New Girlfriend already have one thing in common: this
guy. Best case scenario? You hit it off with her and gain a friend instead of losing one.

Q I’m a clean freak. I want my Q I genuinely love

hookup to wash his hands before
fingering me. Can I just say that
without sounding psycho?
A Yes. It would be more weird not to say
something and then freak out when he
touches you. Don’t launch into a lengthy,
self-deprecating explanation. The next night
he takes you home after devouring a plate
of buffalo wings, say: “Hey, can you wash
your hands while I take off all these
clothes? It’s just more fun for me if you do.”
Q My boyfriend is great,
but he never tells me I look
pretty. It gives me the sads.
What should I do?
A A little “You look hot, babe” goes a
long, long way. Don’t fish for compli-
GILAXIA/GETTY IMAGES
salads, but I hear guys pH-balanced and gynecologist-
hate it when girls order tested, it’s the perfect shower mate
before the perfect Valentine’s date.
them on dates. Do guys
really judge you based
on your order?
A Most guys don’t care whether you
order the kale salad or a Bloomin’
Onion®—they’re more focused on
whether or not the date is fun. Sure, a
dude who eats like Homer Simpson
might feel like you’re not his perfect
culinary match if you don’t touch a carb.
But faking your order (like your orgasm)
could backfire. You could go for the Hypoallergenic and gynecologist-
burger and it might turn out your date is tested, so spray on before
a vegetarian who shares your love of NL[[PUN`V\Y=HSLU[PUL»Z+H`VU°
arugula. If a guy trash-talks a date over
a detail like her dinner order, he’s

ments. Just tell him directly that you’d
feel a lot better if he complimented you
once in a while. The only way to build
the relationship you want is to tell your
partner what you want.
probably making excuses for why she
rejected him. (“She didn’t want to go
home with me, but whatever, she was
a salad eater!”) So order exactly
what you want, and enjoy your salads.
 “THE TIME
I TURNED
INTO A
S TA LK ER”
S O ME W HE R E I woke up before dawn, thinking of
him. It had been a long time since I’d
A L O N G T HE WAY, been able to think of anything else. I
had to convince him to be with me.
HE R P U R S U I T I headed to his apartment building,
walking quickly at first, then break-
F
OF A HOT GUY ing into a run. I stood in the lobby, act-
ing like I lived there and had forgotten
T U R NE D IN T O my key. Before long, someone let me in.
I took the elevator to the top floor and
UNHINGE D knocked on his door. He didn’t answer.
I kept knocking. I knew that if he just
OBSESSION. TEN let me into his life, we would have an
epic romance. He would be thankful
Y E A R S L AT E R , for my determination. One day, we’d
brag to our friends about the morning
LISA A. PHILLIPS I boldly won him over.
He opened the door, wielding a base-
E X P L O R E S T HE ball bat in one hand and his phone
in the other. “Get out of here,” he said.
S C IE N C E A ND “I’m going to call the cops.”
I’d imagined my future with him,
P S Y C H O L O GY and now there was no future.
T
O F T HE hat was the morning I
snapped. It all started
S U R P R I S IN GLY innocently enough: The
summer I turned 30, the
C O M M O N B E H AV I O R man I was about to move
in with suddenly dumped
CALLED SOF T me. I’d been rejected before, but this
time felt different. It seemed like
S TA L K IN G . everyone I knew was either in a seri-
ous relationship or married and
starting a family. I wanted what they
had, and I had just been sent back
PROP STYLIST: ANGHARAD BAILEY
to the starting line. It hurt.
What made me feel better was
running into a man I knew from
graduate school. B. was brainy and
attractive. There had always been a
spark between us. I knew he had an
out-of-town girlfriend, and at the
FEBRUARY 2015 | COSMOPOLITAN
time, that seemed like a good thing.
Surely, I wasn’t ready for another
relationship. But a friendship with
some sexual tension mixed in seemed
like the perfect distraction.
or a while, it was. We
spent a lot of time
together. We took
long walks and gave
each other neck rubs.
He let it slip that he
used to have a wild
crush on me…and
that he and his long-
distance girlfriend
agreed their relationship would soon
end. As he and I grew closer, I became
certain that after he and his girlfriend
broke up, he would come to me. I
was willing to wait for him. Didn’t all
the best love stories entail patience,
overcoming obstacles, and blissful
longing?
Time passed. He didn’t break up
with his girlfriend, but occasionally
we’d have make-out sessions that left
me confused. Instead of giving up,
I became more determined to win
him over. I followed him around. I
e-mailed him love poems and left
repeated, pleading messages on his
phone (this was pre-texting). My
obsession with him was so intense
and painful that I could barely func-
tion. I couldn’t stand it anymore.
I walked into the psychiatric unit at
the local hospital to ask for some-
thing to make my obsession stop. I
got a prescription for tranquilizers,
which didn’t help much. I couldn’t
imagine my future without him.
Then came the morning I banged on
171

his door for so long that he opened it
holding a bat and dialed 911.
He hung up before the call con-
nected. By the end of the day, we were
fooling around again. Still, I should
have realized I was losing control.
After that encounter, he made it clear
that he and his girlfriend were staying
together. He stopped returning any of
my messages. One day, he answered
the phone and told me firmly that he
would never speak to me again. It was
what I needed to hear, and somehow
I was finally ready to hear it. I went
home and threw up. I had a fever, lit-
erally. When my temperature went
down, I felt I’d finally exorcised the
demon of my obsession.
Y
ears after I stopped
chasing this guy,
though, I was still
baffled by my behav-
ior. I had since
gotten my sane cre-
dentials in order. I
was married and
had a daughter. I
had a good career. So how could I have
once been such a stalker? The reporter
in me set out to try to answer the ques-
tion of how I—and for that matter, any
otherwise sane and healthy woman—
could lose it over an unrequited love.
THE THRILL OF
THE CHASE
can trump any
sense of boundaries.
One of the first things I found out
as I researched my book Unrequited:
Women and Romantic Obsession
is that few women become Fatal
Attraction–type criminal stalkers.
Yet the kind of “soft” stalking I
did is very common. More than 40
percent of college women in one
large survey sent unwanted messages
and more than one-quarter intruded
on personal space, as I did.
Another study showed that one-
third of women admitted to “mild
aggression”—such as threats, verbal
abuse, or physical abuse—to get
someone back after a breakup.
The behavior is influenced by what
Florida State University psychology
professor Roy Baumeister, PhD, calls
the script of unrequited love. Rom-
coms and even classic works of litera-
ture carry the message that dramatic
efforts to win love pay off. Trying
harder can seem like a good idea.
Brain chemistry makes matters
worse. Passionate love, research
shows, steps up the brain’s produc-
tion of dopamine, the neurotransmit-
ter associated with focus and craving.
Cruelly, romantic rejection brings on
the same reaction—a phenomenon
biological anthropologist Helen Fisher
has dubbed frustration attraction.
H
ow bad this state feels
and what it makes us do
depends on a host
of other factors. One that
stood out for me: The
level of emotional dis-
tress people feel about being rejected
influences how likely they are to
aggressively pursue the person. This
tendency is related to a phenomenon
researchers call goal linking. The
goal of getting a particular guy gets
tangled up with another, much more
important goal. In my case, I believed
this guy was the one, the ticket to
commitment, marriage, and fam-
ily, and no one else could do. I didn’t
know in what direction my life would
go if he were not in it. That notion now
seems ridiculous, given that I’ve been
happily married to someone else for
12 years.
I wish I’d known then what I know
now. All I had to do was to lower the
stakes I’d put on this guy. He wasn’t
being very loving, so how could he
really be the one?
C
oping with
unrequited
love and the
urge to chase
is more com-
plicated than
that, of course.
If you’re so
obsessed that
you can’t func-
tion normally
or control
yourself, get professional help. Look
for therapeutic approaches based in
cognitive behavioral therapy, a tech-
nique with demonstrated effective-
ness in easing obsessive thoughts and
behaviors. Psychotherapist Rhonda
Findling, author of Don’t Text That
Man! and several other books on rela-
tionships, told me that it’s important
to give yourself some validation. The
loss of love—even when it’s love you
never quite had in the first place—is
real, and so is the grief you feel over it.
When I was obsessed, I was ashamed
of being so upset over losing a relation-
ship that never quite took flight. So I
kept trying to make it happen instead
of coping with how disappointed I was.
Another thing I wish I’d realized
was that my pursuit of him wasn’t
really about him. It was all about me
and my needs. Stalking is narcissistic.
That sounds awful. At times, I
was awful. But one of the best things
about writing Unrequited was that I
discovered women who used the self-
centeredness of unrequited love not
to stalk but to change their lives
for the better. Romantic obsession
inspired dancer Isadora Duncan,
writer Charlotte Brontë, and Mary
Wollstonecraft, one of the founding
mothers of feminism, to create their
greatest works. My greatest hope in
sharing my story is that I can help
other women find the strength to
realize it’s better to stay away and
get a handle on the goal you’re really
chasing. Then you can use that insight
to build a more satisfying romantic
future—without begging, pounding
on doors, or a baseball bat.
PHILLIPS IS THE AUTHOR
OF UNREQUITED: WOMEN
AND ROMANTIC OBSES-
SION, OUT THIS MONTH
FROM HARPERCOLLINS.
 GOING OVER THE TOP
seems less crazy when
you’re convinced he’s
your ultimate love.

Obsession
Confessions
Your most “I can’t
believe I did that”
moments revealed.
romantic love
G I N A K . ( 2 2) “I’ve searched
for my name in my boyfriend’s
Facebook messages just to
see how he’s talked about me
with friends and family. Most
of them I had to Google-Trans-
GUTTER CREDIT TEEKAY INFORMATION: GUTTER CREDIT TEEKAY INFORMATION

late because he’s Italian.”

LY N N F. ( 21) “I found a guy’s
address in the phone book
and creeped by his house...
frequently.”
TAY L O R K . ( 2 4) “ I stalked
the Facebook of every girl
who wished him ‘Happy
Birthday’ on his Wall.”
LY N N H . ( 3 3) “ I paid a
private detective to verify
that everything he was telling
me was true. It completely
backfired—I found out I was
the other woman!”

173
 WHEN A
FRIENDSHIP
TURNS
ADDICTIVE IT’S DURING A few weeks ago, I received an e-mail
from an old friend, Sophie*. My sec-
T HE V U L NE R A B L E ond novel, Her, had just been published
in the UK, and Sophie, a 40-year-old
MOMENT S teacher from London, had just read it
and was in shock. The book echoed an
IN W O ME N’ S experience of hers in peculiar detail.
Her is the story of Emma and Nina,
LIVES (A MOVE, strangers who become friends. To
Emma, run ragged by new mother-
A M A R R I A GE , hood, Nina (so assured, so together)
seems to have all the answers. And yet,
A CAREER as Nina makes herself indispensable,
there’s a sense her motives are far from
C H A N GE ) T H AT A straightforward and far from benign.
S
F R IE ND S H IP C A N ophie recognized the sce-
nario. Several years ago,
T U R N A C O R NE R struggling with the double-
whammy of a house move
FROM CLOSE and her first baby, she had
been swept up by a persuasive new
TO OBSESSIVE. friend. “Lucy was full of support and
advice—as long as my confidence was
HARRIET LANE, at rock-bottom. When I started to
get myself together, she tried to put
A U T H O R O F T HE me back in my box, making jokes at
my expense, belittling me in public.”
NE W N O V E L HE R , When Sophie began to make other
new friends, Lucy did not disguise her
E X P L O R E S T HE S E displeasure. “Initially, I found it quite
sweet that she was threatened by any
R E A L- L IF E S INGL E outsiders. Flattering, even. But I was
starting to feel pissed off about my lack
W HI T E F E M A L E of freedom. I realized I was using dif-
ferent routes to shops, walking the long
SCENARIOS. way around town in order to avoid her.”
Sophie knew the sensible thing would
have been to take Lucy aside for a quiet
word, “but I can’t bear confrontation. I’d
rather eat my own hair than upset some-
one.” So over many months, she tried
to edge out of the friendship without
*Names and identifying details have been changed to protect the stalkees.
making a fuss. Yet even as Sophie
backed away, Lucy advanced: pumping
mutual acquaintances for information,
befriending Sophie’s siblings via Face-
book. The crunch came “when I found
out Lucy was encouraging my daughter
to call her ‘Mummy.’ At this point, I got
scared.” When the opportunity came
to move to a new neighborhood, Lucy
made the decision easy.
Plenty of other women I’ve spo-
ken to had a similar experience of a
friend growing too intense. Tina, 28,
a photographer from NYC, grew up
with Rachel, whose friendships and
romances were always highly charged.
When Tina moved away, they e-mailed
and spoke regularly, but it was never
enough. “Rachel constantly let me
know that I wasn’t doing enough to
fill her in on all the details of my life,”
Tina says. The tension increased when
Tina’s relationship with a new boy-
friend grew more serious. Rachel
felt annoyed, shut out. Then the let-
ters began to arrive. Thick envelopes,
stuffed with detailed memories and
pleas for Tina to “open up.”
T
he final straw (“totally
weird and creepy,”
says Tina) was a pack-
age containing two
things: a letter and a
mix CD to be played
while reading it.
The CD was loaded
with songs that Tina
and Rachel had loved in high school.
The letter contained “a description
of what Rachel imagined my funeral
would be like, who would attend, and
what she would say and feel.”

I
have a term for women like Lucy
and Rachel: danger monkeys.
Often, they’re women with a knack
for the dramatic and an ability to
fast-track friendships through sheer
force of will. “Women’s lives are
typically characterized by major
changes as they move through different
stages and phases: graduation, moving,
motherhood, changing careers. These
moments often create upheavals in
friendships,” says Irene S. Levine, PhD,
psychologist and professor of psychiatry
at the New York University School of
Medicine and creator of TheFriendship
Blog.com. And it’s during those
moments of change and vulnerability
that the danger monkeys pounce.
FAST FRIENDSHIPS
can spiral into dark,
demented places.
Obsession
Confessions
friendship
C H I N K . ( 3 5 ) “I have major
trust issues, even with my
friends. When my friends
have their phones on them,
I’ll always be like ‘Who texted
you? What do they want?’”
C AT H E R I N E R . ( 2 4) “I obses-
sively stalk the Golden Girl
from my college days on
social media. It’s gotten to the
point where I’ll say things to
other people about her life as
if we’re friends, even though
we’ve barely ever spoken.”
S A R A H D . ( 2 7 ) “When I was
younger, I’d secretly buy
some of the same clothes as
my best friend. When we’d
show up at school dressed
as twins, I played dumb and
pretended it was just coinci-
dence and proof of our best-
friend status.”
C O U R T N E Y H . ( 2 3) “There’s
this girl I had a class with
who was super friendly, and
my friend and I developed
a crush on her. Once during
class, we spent the entire
time cowriting a list of all the
things we liked about her/
were jealous of. It was like a
live-blog of her perfection.”
W
hat’s in it for
them? In Her,
Nina’s moti-
vations are
rooted in the
past, in ques-
tions of her
own iden-
tity—and this applies to most danger
monkeys. They look to others to help
them define themselves. We all do this,
but most of us know when to stop.
When Clare, 34, landed her first job
in TV, she was mentored by Julia. “I
was new to the industry. I had just split
up with a boyfriend—there was this
space in my life, this emptiness, that
she began to fill. I guess I wanted to be
her.” It began as a private joke. Clare
started hanging around by the coffee
machine or the elevators in hopes of
running into Julia. She joined Julia’s
gym. When Julia went out for drinks
with colleagues, Clare tagged along.
“Then I found out her address,
and one Saturday, I found myself
walking down her street, telling
myself I was heading to the farm-
ers’ market. I bought a coffee on the
corner and waited, pretending not
to watch her building. Then the door
opened and a woman came out. Just
for a second, I thought it was Julia,
and that moment scared the hell out
of me. I just thought, Enough. Stop
it.” Clare went home, but the sinister
opportunity of that moment stayed
with her. “Would I have followed her,
to see where she was going? What was
I thinking? I don’t really know….
That’s why it was so frightening.”
All good friends go through bad
patches. But if a friend invariably leaves
you feeling guilty, resentful, wrong-
footed, or emotionally exhausted,
you should probably trust your instinct.
“While you can’t change a friend’s
personality, you can ask her to make
changes in some behaviors,” says
Levine. If she still ignores your bound-
aries, take a break. “Friendships
that are consistently emotionally
draining take a toll on your mental
and physical health, and it may be
worthwhile to let go.” ■
HARRIET L ANE IS THE
AUTHOR OF HER, OUT THIS
MONTH FROM LIT TLE,
B R O W N A N D C O M P A N Y.
175
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and rainbo t
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STYLIST: LAUREN SHIELDS/HALLEY RESOURCES

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 U N
“I FO ANYD A
COMP VE IN.”
I BELIE
—Cara Bondi, R&D manager
at Seventh Generation
As a scientist and researcher for con-
sumer-product companies, Bondi felt
like she lived a double life. While her
“true self” strived to live in a healthy,
sustainable way, her “work self” kept
quiet even when she had questions
about how company practices might
harm the planet. That changed after
Bondi’s husband relocated to Vermont
for his job and she began consulting at
Seventh Generation, a maker of envi-
ronmentally friendly household prod-
ucts in Burlington. Suddenly, Bondi
could be her whole self all the time, and
it was transformative. She has helped
launch a line of botanical cleaners and
the first diaper with an unbleached
cotton backsheet. “I no longer have to
ask, Did I do the right thing?” Bondi
says. “My mind is at ease about my
work. I sleep better at night.”
FOLLOW HER LEAD. If you have a strong
set of core values, look for a mission-
based employer with similar principles.
Get a sense of a company’s practices
and reputation by following it on social
media and reading up on news reports.
“I PURSUED WHAT
REALLY MOVED ME.”
—Beverly Bond, founder
and CEO, Black Girls Rock!
Bond started collecting vinyl records as
a teenager, poring over the liner notes
and chatting up DJs when she went
dancing, but she never thought of music
as anything more than a hobby. Scouted
to be a model, she liked the pay but
always felt insecure. “I was constantly
being told I wasn’t good enough,” Bond
says. “The modeling jobs I had were not
reflective of who I was in my spirit.” In
2000, she started moonlighting as a
178 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015
Beverly Bond
club DJ. Although she had found her
dream job, she was “disturbed by the
alarming culture in the music industry
that normalized toxic images and mes-
sages about women of color. I needed to
do something that gives black women
a feeling that they matter,” she says. So
in 2006, she followed her passion again
and launched Black Girls Rock!, an
award show and mentoring group. It
wasn’t easy to speak out—“I was ostra-
cized,” Bond says—but she stuck with
it, and by 2010, Black Girls Rock! had a
deal with BET.
FOLLOW HER LEAD. Bond’s professional Julie Menin
HUFFINGTON POST; COURTESY SEVENTH GENERATION; COURTESY SAUNDRA PELLETIER/CLAUDINE GOSSETT FOR
turning point happened when she took
CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: BILLY FARRELL/BFA NYC.COM; COURTESY ALYONA MINKOVSKI/DAMON DAHLEN/
an acting class and learned about being
honest in the moment. Thinking so
much about what felt true to her made 9/11, Menin started Wall Street Ris-
her realize she should try music as a ing, a nonprofit that helped local small
career path. She attributes her success businesses get back on their feet. Last
to the genuineness of her passion. year, New York City’s mayor appointed DREW ALTIZER PHOTOGRAPHY; UYEN LE/GETTY IMAGES; COURTESY JULIE MENIN.
her to lead the city’s consumer-protec-
“I EMBRACED tion efforts. “This is the culmination of
so many things that I feel passionate
PUBLIC SERVICE.” about, whether it’s the law, opening my
—Julie Menin, commissioner own business, the community, public
of the New York City Department service—it culminates in this one job,”
of Consumer Affairs Menin says. “It’s incredibly rewarding.”
Menin began her career as a regulatory FOLLOW HER LEAD. What Menin had
lawyer and next opened up a food mar- missed when she was a practicing
ket and catering business steps from her attorney was “the ability to make peo-
home in lower Manhattan. Then 9/11 ple’s lives better.” If you’re interested in
happened. “That really caused me to moving into the public sector, she sug-
reevalutate my life and career,” Menin gests attending local community board
says. “I threw myself into the redevelop- meetings, volunteering with a civic
ment of my community, which had been group, or joining a political campaign
absolutely decimated.” Two weeks after that inspires you.
 Alyona Minkovski
“I PITCHED
A NEW
PROJECT.”
Minkovski got
started as host of
the cable current-
affairs program The Alyona Show,
where she covered underreported
stories of activists and whistle-blow-
ers. But in 2012, when she joined the
streaming network HuffPost Live, she
had to shift her focus, hosting more
entertainment and lifestyle segments
and less hard news. “I felt like I was
failing a bit to live up to my own ide-
als and the audience I had built over
Cara Bondi
“I MOVED FROM A CORPO-
RATION TO A CHARITY.”
—Saundra Pelletier,
CEO of WomanCare Global
When it came to climbing the ladder of
the pharmaceutical industry, Pelletier
practically skipped rungs. She started
as a sales rep, got promoted seven times
in 10 years, and ended up as a high-
ranking executive at the drug company
Searle (now part of Pfizer). Working
for a company that made contracep-
tives, Pelletier says she was motivated
Saundra Pelletier
by the idea that “women really wanted
to be able to plan their own lives.” But as
she rose higher in the company, she got
pulled away from working on reproduc-
tive health. That became a deal breaker
for her. Pelletier quit her job and even-
the years,” she tually became the founding CEO of
says. In a meeting WomanCare Global, a nonprofit that
with the president helps get birth control to women around
of the network, the world. “I used to be a pragmatic pes-
Minkovski simist,” Pelletier says. “Now, I have a
pitched a show hopefulness about the work I’m doing.”
devoted to FOLLOW HER LEAD. “Women stay in
social-justice bad situations because they don’t take
stories. He the time to do self-reflection,” Pelle-
said yes, and tier says. So after leaving her pharma
Minkovski job, she kept two journals: one black
launched Free Speech Zone. and one red. In the black journal, she
FOLLOW HER LEAD. Minkovski didn’t start wrote down what she didn’t like or
her new job with guns blazing for her what didn’t work during her years in
pet project. She waited until she’d been the private-sector world. In the red
there a year—when her experience, con- journal, she wrote down what she
tacts, and reputation could back her up. and others did well that she wanted
That helped her to be more confident in to repeat. Being able to talk to friends
her pitch. If you’re looking to contribute about her need for change also helped.
something new, “Ask yourself, where is “Corny as it sounds, you need to say it
there a void that only you can fill because out loud first,” she says. “Acknowledge
you have a unique skill set?” she says. that you need more meaning.” ■
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 179
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Pair a nubby knit
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Shoes, GX by
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Sweater, Rebecca Sweater, Sachin &
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180 PHOTOGRAPHED BY ALLIE KIRCHER

©2014 Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company. All Rights Reserved. Extra and all affiliated designs are trademarks of the Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company or its affiliates.

1 Always Be
Exploring
To be creative, you have
Coming to remain curious. Travel!
soon: Explore new places, meet
Grease
Live and new people, try new foods.
School Immerse yourself in
of Rock .
culture. Go to the movies
opening weekend; follow
artists, fashion, and friends
BE MORE on Instagram; binge-watch
television; visit a museum;
experience live music;
and read voraciously.
CREATIVE 2 Comfort Zone
Get Out of Your
EVERY
Try to avoid falling into a
rigid schedule. Routine leads
to familiarity and compla-
cency, which leads to a lack
Roar!
DAY
of passion and creativity. I
like to challenge my team to
meet in different spaces and
vary the agenda from week
Looking for to week. Small changes—
office inspiration? inviting a different colleague
to coffee once a week or
Paramount Pictures’ taking a quick walk with a
Amy Powell, president
of the studio’s
new TV arm, digital
coworker—can stimulate you
to think in new ways.
entertainment,
and Insurge Pictures, 3 Take Time to Riff
Throughout my career,
I’ve had one weekly meeting
has tons of ideas. with no agenda but to talk
about what’s happening in
the zeitgeist, interesting
Insurge put articles, and passion points.
out Katy
Perry: Part It allows people to feed off
of Me and one another—we’ll often
Project take a small idea and turn
Almanac.
it into something big.
182
Powell helped
create digital
series like The
Hotwives of
Orlando on Hulu
(with Casey
Wilson, left)
and movies like
Justin Bieber:
Never Say Never.
4 Chat Up a
Stranger
When I throw a dinner party,
I purposely sit people next to
people they don’t know. I get
so excited when I sit down
with somebody who is think-
ing of traveling to a place
off the beaten path or learn-
ing to speak Italian. I once
CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: JONATHAN LEIBSON/WIREIMAGE; PARAMOUNT/EVERETT COLLECTION; HULU/EVERETT COLLECTION; KRISTIAN DOWLING/GETTY IMAGES.
met someone on an airplane
and ended up hiring her four
years later!
5 Put Away Your
Phone
My mother always says,
“Don’t forget to stop and
smell the roses.” Well, it’s
hard to smell the roses if
your face is glued to your
phone. Try to log off and
notice the world around you
every now and again. I am
always surprised by the ideas
that germinate when my
phone is firmly placed
at the bottom of my purse.
6 Help Others
Giving back is probably
the best way to combine
all these tips in one. Find
a charity that resonates with
you personally and that needs
your help. It doesn’t have
to be hugely ambitious—do
a little something that makes
you feel connected to the
things that matter most to
you. A little step could
lead to a big involvement
later in your life. ■
 Sleep like a baby.
The non-habit forming
sleep-aid from the
makers of NyQuil. TM

Sleep easily.
Sleep soundly.
And wake refreshed.

Use as
a directed for occasional sleeplessness. Read each label.
Keep
Kee p out of reach of children. © Procter & Gamble, Inc., 2014
 Who You Are
This is about me, but it could be about
anyone. You move to New York from the
Midwest with nothing but an art degree
and a sense of possibility. You couldn’t
say who you are definitively—a per-
former, writer type, artist? You want to
be famous. When your one-person show

CONFESSIONS gets into a festival, you think you’ve hit

the big time. You haven’t. The theater is
on the fourth floor of a walk-up building

OF A CELEBRITY
in Chinatown. Upstairs is a dance com-
pany. They stomp and stomp and stomp
through your performance. Your father
was right. Dreams do not pay the rent.

ASSISTANT
She thought what she wanted was fame. Then someone
famous taught her what she really wanted. BY ILANA MANASTER

When being in
the inner circle
means doing
a lot of bitch
work…

184 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015

 The Interview
Someone you know who knows someone
calls to say Hollywood Actor is doing a
stint on Broadway. He needs a New York
assistant—what do you think?
What you think: See, world? I am
totally on my way.
The interview happens on the mil-
lionth floor of a high-rise, in Holly-
wood Actor’s apartment. Wraparound
windows overlook the river. You wait,
watching the sun sink behind New
Jersey, trying to keep it cool. You’ve
never met a celebrity before in your life.
When Hollywood Actor finally comes
out to greet you, he looks exactly like he
does in the movies, except he is wear-
ing pajamas. He hires you on the spot.
Working so close to fame is practically
like being famous yourself, you think.
The Job
You’re expected to do everything for
him. Just…everything. You load the
fridge. You organize cleaning services,
buy shampoo. You’re eager to do well.
You learn how to spend his money
without thinking about it, while
saving everything you can of your own.
You literally eat his leftovers.
Over time, you get to know each other,
develop a rapport. You go with him to
talk shows. You remind him of appoint-
ments. You pack his suitcase, get his dry
cleaning, water the plants. You are part
wife and part maid. You are wife/maid.
You learn that you are willing to go to
great lengths to keep a badly paid job
($500/week) because of what you think
it says about your potential.
Backstage at Conan you see Pink
warming up her voice in the bathroom.
You wonder how you can be so
close to what you want and so far at
the same time.
Broadway
The Broadway musical starring the
Actor opens to rave reviews. Sometimes,
when you come out of the stage door,
packs of fans stand around waiting for
their favorite stars. When they see you,
they think you’re somebody. They get a
flash of excitement. Then they see that
you are nobody and they are crestfallen.
You want to be a somebody. You
start doing stand-up comedy. The
ALLIE KIRCHER
Actor comes to see a show. Everybody
says, “There he is!” He tells you how
well you did and it feels great,
but you’re not really sure you want to
be a comedian. You keep at it. Because
you dream about walking the red car-
pet someday too.
The Loft
The Actor buys a loft the size of a monas-
tery. The ceilings are so high, you have
to pay someone to change the light bulbs.
You are greeted by Extremely Famous
Artist selling the loft. I love you, you
want to tell her, I moved to New York so I
could be just like you. You reach over to
stroke her pet. “Don’t touch her,” the Art-
ist snips. “She’s not friendly.”
The Artist works in a studio behind
the master bedroom, a long, windowless
“YOU WONDER
HOW YOU CAN
BE SO CLOSE
TO WHAT YOU
WANT AND SO
FAR AT THE
SAME TIME.”
room lined with wood shelves and clos-
ets crammed with art-making stuff. You
die. The Actor says he loves the creative
energy. He turns the studio into a gym.
His Fame
He is famous everywhere, even in his
apartment, among friends. Actors hang
around at the loft. They’re young; they’re
ambitious. They’re not that different
from you except you buy them chips and
candy for their movie nights.
One of the late-night friends, a TV
chef, comes over to greet you when you’re
out at his restaurant with your boy-
friend’s family.
TV Chef sends over appetizers. You
look like a big shot. The Actor has
become the most interesting thing about
you and that makes you feel small.
FEBRUARY 2015 | COSMOPOLITAN
His Career
Everyone wants the Actor just to be
funny, but he wants to be serious. His
cable drama gets canceled. A role he
wants goes to Philip Seymour Hoffman.
You think: Funny is so easy for him
that he doesn’t know it’s a gift. You learn
that it’s best to do the thing that comes
naturally, the thing you love doing. You
wonder what that is for you. You start a
funny blog about your exploits as a per-
sonal assistant. People like it.
Power
You join the Actor for lunch with a
hilarious TV actress. She is cool as hell.
She says that when she makes someone
laugh, it makes them feel good. They
think they’ve shared a special bond. The
Actor nods. He knows what she means.
After work, at comedy clubs, you try
it out on people. You drink a lot and you
crack jokes. It works. You feel strong and
sexy, and it’s easier than intimacy.
You and your boyfriend hit a rough
patch. All you ever are is out.
Boundaries
You fly to Ohio for your grandfather’s
funeral. You tell the Actor to go ahead
and call if he needs anything. You don’t
think he’ll actually do it. But he does.
You’re on your way to the cemetery when
the Actor calls about a dinner reserva-
tion. Your eyes sting with tears. You
think, I need to quit this job.
You begin to understand that outside
things—your city, your career, your
relationship—cannot tell you who you
are. You need to find that for yourself.
The End
The Actor falls in love. His girlfriend
gets pregnant. You make eggs
for the new mom. Famous people send
flowers that were picked out, signed
for, sent by an assistant like you.
For the first time, you really don’t
want to be there. You don’t want to be
support staff for someone else’s life.
You want to live your own life, even if
it’s not glamorous.
You learn that to be what you want,
you have to be brave. You need talent
and perseverance, and you need to
know who you are. Being famous, you
finally understand, is not enough.
You become a writer. Much
to your surprise, it’s what you really
wanted all along. ■
185
WHAT
SHOULD
YOU
REALLY
BE?
Here’s how to get
through the soul-
searching and come
out on top.
BY MARISSA GAINSBURG

Follow your dreams. Every-

one—even contestants on
The answer is
The Bachelor—says it’s the already in your
key to happiness. But what if head and your heart.
your dream is hazy? While
women and millennials have
more career options than
previous generations, the
possibilities can be vast to
the point of being paralyzing. Here’s Jay’s Three-Step Plan

“People often feel that
their 20s don’t really matter,”
says Meg Jay, PhD, author
of The Defining Decade.
“But they end up having no
career established by their
30s or having one that
doesn’t match what they
GOLDMUND LUKIC/STOCKSY. CLOCKWISE FROM TOP: ALBERT MOLLON/GETTY IMAGES; DEBBIE SMIRNOFF/GETTY
Find What’s Real Line Up Your Ducks Make It Happen
GO BACK TO THE BEGINNING. SET LIMITS. Make a list of CONNECT. Reach out to the
Picture your former and three to five different plans people you don’t know
future selves and find a based on the clues from that well. Jay stresses
common thread between your kid self and the future weak ties—acquaintances,
them. Think about how you. (Too few will feel limit- friends of friends. New
IMAGES; DAVIES AND STARR/GETTY IMAGES; DE AGOSTINI/GETTY IMAGES.

want to do.” The key to navi- you spent free time as ing; too many, daunting.) opportunities are more
gating the angst, says Jay, a kid and classes you likely to come from these
TAKE IT FOR A TEST-DRIVE.
is in identity capital— happily aced in college. ties than from your besties.
So you’ve always loved
the things you’ve done that
SURVEY YOUR SKILLS. kids and swimming? Con- SET A TIMELINE. Give your-
make you who you are.
Consider compliments sider getting certified to self six months to a year
You’re already earning
you’ve received from teach swimming lessons to take action. When time’s
identity capital by living
teachers and bosses. with the goal of starting up, assess if this path is
your life: doing a semester
This will help you zero your own after-school pro- working. “Deadlines and
abroad, volunteering at the
in on goals to which you gram. Or if you’ve always goals don’t sound sexy,
animal shelter.…The chal-
have an emotional connec- loved jewelry, apply to be but they are our dreams
lenge is to become more
tion. What would feel an intern or assistant at a in actionable steps,” says
involved in things that you
most exciting for you to fashion house to learn how Jay. “And acting on your
know interest you and to
talk about with friends? the industry really works. dreams is definitely sexy!”
leverage all that to achieve
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186 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015

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T R Y I T R I S K - F R E E O N Y O U R TA B L E T T O D AY AT D E A L . C O S M O P O L I TA N . C O M

Jennings with
her husband at
their Denver gym.
EQUAL
RIGHTS...TO FIGHT
From wrestling teams to the Olympics and
Ultimate Fighting Championships, women
are mixing it up in ways past generations
never could. Mixed-martial-arts fighter
L.A. Jennings, author of She’s a Knockout!,
says that’s a great thing.
What drew you to fighting?
I played sports as a kid, but
I wouldn’t have called myself
athletic. In college, I wanted
to meet new people and
challenge myself, so I went
to a martial-arts gym. It was
humbling getting thrown
down over and over, but it
fueled my desire to improve.
Was it hard being virtually
the only woman there?
Most of the guys I trained
with were supportive.
I eventually married one
of them, and we own a gym
together. That said, it was a
boys’ club. Sometimes visit-
ing fighters made comments
about my body and treated
me as a spectacle, or they’d
dismiss me completely.
190 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015
What’s it like to fight
someone?
Sometimes I get literally
sick from nerves before
a fight. Then there’s clarity
when I step into the ring.
It’s exciting to see how
your opponent will react
to whatever you throw
at her. When it’s over,
the adrenaline high feels
amazing. It also puts life
into perspective. I’ve been
in pain and hit down in
the ring, so I can handle
defending my dissertation!
Is being able to fight real
progress for women?
People who wanted to keep
women out said they were
trying to protect women’s
bodies—but I want to be in
LEARN WHILE
LYING AROUND
Dudes host 71 per-
cent of the most popu-
lar podcasts. Give the
ladies some love with
this list curated by
Lauren Goode, reporter
and senior product
reviewer for Re/code.
GRAMMAR GIRL’S QUICK
AND DIRTY TIPS FOR BETTER
WRITING “Mignon Fogarty’s
weekly podcast is totally
addictive (or would that be
addicting?).
This one is
pretty much
a no-brainer
for me!”
A TASTE OF THE PAST “Did you
know that economic depres-
sion may have been a factor in
the doughnut’s rise in popular-
ity? You’ll impress your foodie
friends if you
subscribe to
culinary histo-
charge of my own body. The rian Linda
Pelaccio’s.”
idea of men being violent
and women being passive STUFF MOM NEVER TOLD YOU
are social constructs. Fight- “Hosts Cristen Conger and
ing is no more masculine Caroline Ervin might discuss
than parenting is feminine. women and marathoning, why
there are so few women on
What’s next for your sport? late-night TV,
Right now, competitions or the stigma
tend to include only smaller faced by
women in
weight classes, so only
glasses.”
women who fit the stereo-
type of the sexy, beautiful KATE’S TAKE: THE ENTREPRE-
fighter can make a living. NEUR ON FIRE “Kate Erickson’s
I hope the sport will become advice isn’t just for entrepre-
focused more on skill. neurs. Her podcast will ring
true for anyone looking to take
risks at work,
FROM TOP: COURTESY SUBJECT; COURTESY PODCASTS; GETTY IMAGES.
get out of a
She’s a Knockout! comfort zone,
A History of Women
in Fighting Sports or build better
is out now. relationships.”
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Christina Gambaro,
left, and Olivia
Reichert kept
their relationship
a secret at work,
but that didn’t save
their careers.
 They bonded over
March Madness. Christina
Gambaro was a new coach at
a Catholic high school in St.
Louis, and Olivia Reichert
was a long-time teacher and
coach at the same school.
Both fans of college bas-
ketball, the women started
watching games together
at a local bar, becoming
fast friends. But there was
a spark too. One weekend,
Gambaro got “butterflies,”
she says, when Reichert
sent her a funny text about
a tough game: “It’s not look-
ing too good for your boys.” A
romance was born.
A couple of years later, in
fall 2013, Reichert started
planning the marriage pro-
You can’t be fired for posal. She found a jeweler to
getting hitched to help her design an engage-
your same-sex ment ring—white gold with
diamonds and aquamarines.
partner…can you?
Christina Gambaro
and Olivia Reichert
found out that’s
not quite true.
PHOTOGRAPHED BY GABRIELA HERMAN
Then she created a treasure
hunt, scribbling clues on puz-
zle pieces. “We do lots of puz-
zles,” she says. “We’re nerdy
like that.” The hunt ended
with Reichert holding the
ring. The two quietly married
last June and prepared to
sign a deal on a new house.
And then an e-mail
landed in Reichert’s in-box
like a little grenade. It was
from the principal of their
school, and it cited rumors,
according to Reichert,
that she was romantically
involved with Gambaro.
It also said the school had
seen papers showing that
the women were buying a
home together. “I went into
panic mode,” Reichert says. “I
broke down immediately.”
The problem: Same-sex
relationships are against
the rules of their Catholic
high school, Cor Jesu Acad-
emy. Reichert had worked
as a teacher at the all-girls
193
school—her alma mater—for
10 years and had coached
there for 14. She’d signed a
“Christian witness state-
ment” agreeing to abide by
church doctrine. Gambaro
had coached at the school for
three years. She says she does
not remember signing the
statement as a coach, but she
knew the rules of the school.
The women faced a deci-
sion: resign, get fired, or fight
to keep their jobs. Divorce,
they say, was not an option.
Their experience highlights
an important debate sur-
rounding religion, sexual-
ity, and employment laws
in America. “People see gay
characters on TV—on Mod-
ern Family or Glee—and
think everything is okay,”
says Gambaro. “It’s not what
you see on TV. It’s not okay.”
On a rainy fall afternoon
at Cor Jesu Academy, the
school grounds are quiet.
A statue of Jesus with open
arms stands out front. In
the lobby, a red-heart poster
reads Joy, Service, Love.
School officials declined to
comment for this story. The
Archdiocese of St. Louis,
which offers guidance to
local Catholic schools, stood
by the school, saying, “The
teachers were not fired for
being gay. Having homo-
sexual tendencies is not
sinful. But to act on those
tendencies is. And in choos-
ing to take the public action
they did, the teachers know-
ingly and publicly violated
the teachings of the church,
which also violated the
Christian witness statement
they signed as a condition of
employment.”
194 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015
Reichert says the women
kept their relationship and
marriage private, noting that
Gambaro wore her engage-
ment ring on a chain, hid-
den from view. She feels
the church is inconsistent
in its rules for teachers. “It
seems as though the Catholic
church feels entitled to pri-
oritize which ‘sins’ deserve
punishment and which are
acceptable,” she says. “Where
are the punishments for
employees of a Catholic insti-
tution like Cor Jesu for hav-
ing a child out of wedlock or
taking birth control or get-
ting married while divorced
without having the previ-
ous marriage annulled?”
she asks, referring to other
behaviors that are against
church teaching. “I under-
stand that my sexual orien-
tation goes against Catholic
doctrine. What I don’t under-
stand is how Catholics can
choose which anti-Catholic
behaviors are punishable.”
The Archdiocese of St.
Louis says that, in general,
the issue is whether the
behavior can “create a scan-
dal” for the school, asserting
rd of
In the back ya
s home.
their St. Loui
that gay marriage is a public
act even if the couple tries to
keep it quiet.
The treatment of gay peo-
ple in the Catholic church is a
point of increasing debate. “If
a person is gay and seeks God
and has good will, who am
I to judge him?” said Pope
Francis in 2013, a sentiment
he reaffirmed at a conference
this past fall. The Archdio-
cese of St. Louis notes that
“nothing in his quote is con-
tradictory to Catholic doc-
trine on the subject of human
sexuality” and that marriage
is “the union of a man and
woman for life.”
Reichert, now 36,
remembers her teenage
years as a student at Cor
Jesu fondly, saying she was a
shy kid who found her foot-
ing in softball and basket-
ball. In college, she began
coaching both sports at Cor
Jesu. Later, she got a job
teaching P.E. at the school,
signing an agreement that
her “public behavior, actions,
and words” would be “con-
sistent with the teachings of
the Catholic church.”
Gambaro, 26, arrived at
the school a few years later,
coaching field hockey and
lacrosse while working at her
family’s Italian bakery. The
women had much in com-
mon: Both grew up Catholic
and came out to their par-
ents in college; both loved
sports, coaching, and kids.
“We meshed so well,” says
Reichert. “It was one of those
meant-to-be experiences.”
As their relationship pro-
gressed, they kept it secret
at school as well as in public,
in case people knew school
administrators. They mar-
ried in New York last June,
since gay marriage wasn’t
legal in Missouri then (the
state has since legalized it).
Last July, Reichert
received the e-mail from
the principal citing rumors
about the women’s relation-
ship. As for Gambaro, she
didn’t receive any commu-
nication from the school, so
she e-mailed an administra-
tor and asked, “Am I getting
fired?” In return, she says,
she received an e-mail quot-
ing the Christian witness
statement.
Is it legal for religious
schools to fire people for
being in a same-sex rela-
tionship? It depends. Fed-
eral law prohibits employers
from discriminating based
on race, color, religion, sex,
and national origin. There is
no federal law that explicitly
prohibits employers from
discriminating based on
sexual orientation or gen-
”
Both women say
that their parents,
who raised them
in the Catholic
church, have been
supportive of their
relationship.
der identity. Among state
laws, 21 states and the Dis-
trict of Columbia prohibit
discrimination based on
sexual orientation. (Mis-
souri is not among them.)
The other 29 states do not
have this explicit protection.
Gay employees can claim
discrimination on the basis
of sex, but courts have yet to
widely embrace that, says
Ian Thompson, a legislative
representative at the Ameri-
can Civil Liberties Union.
Federal law permits reli-
gious institutions to give
preference in hiring to mem-
bers of their own religion.
When it comes to firing,
things get more tangled.
Courts have generally held
that clergy members can-
not bring claims under anti-
discrimination laws, because
the First Amendment says
that government regulation
of church administration
impedes the free exercise of
religion. Teachers at religious
schools can be considered
clergy if they teach religion,
says Thompson. Reichert and
Gambaro did not do so.
The women discussed
whether to fight for their
jobs, ultimately deciding that
going against the Catholic
church would be a “losing
battle,” Reichert says. They
also wanted their privacy, as
well as new teaching jobs—a
public battle might hurt their
chances. And so they quietly
resigned by e-mail. They also
e-mailed their students, as
fall practice was due to start.
A wave of support from stu-
dents followed. An assistant
coach, Katie Sternhagen,
resigned in solidarity. Cor
Jesu alumnae, like University
of Missouri student Sarah
Bess, also reacted. “We’re
disappointed in our alma
mater, whose mission state-
ment says we are women who
share the love of the heart of
Christ,” she says.
Protesters descended on
the school in September (the
women didn’t participate,
they say, out of respect for the
students). The story made
local news and went national.
With their new mortgage
and no severance, the women
urgently sought new jobs.
Reichert now works as an
automotive technician, and
Gambaro works two jobs—
at her family bakery and a
restaurant.
Both women say positive
feedback has been hearten-
ing…and surprising. “Part of
me had worried that my stu-
dents would think less of me,”
says Reichert. Says Gambaro,
“I realized I wasn’t ashamed
of being gay. I was ashamed
of being Catholic.”
The women say they help
each other through moments
of anger. “One night, I went
on a rant about stuff I could
do to the school—just ridicu-
lous stuff, like putting rain-
bow flags on the school’s
Jesus sculpture,” says Gam-
baro, “or putting up signs
saying Honk If You Love Gay
People. It made us laugh.”
Both are quick to note a
good thing that came from
their time at the school:
They found each other.
“We often refer to that,” says
Reichert. “Our meeting at
Cor Jesu was fate.” ■
C o l o r Yo u r H a p p i n e s s !
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LOVE YOUR
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Your takeout-ordering game is strong. We respect
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CHRIS CRAYMER/TRUNK ARCHIVE

197
 Blueberry
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YOU LOOKED Buttermilk
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Now it’s time to eat. You don’t need much:
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soda When the butter
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2 cups buttermilk
the pancake
1
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1
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198 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015 PHOTOGRAPHED BY TRAVIS RATHBONE

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You want your bedroom to be an oasis for you and an inviting space for drop-in
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200 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015

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G E T A S N E A K P E E K A T W H A T T O L O O K F O R W A R D T O I N F E B R U A R Y.
BY AURORA TOWER @AuroraAstro
AQUARIUS/01.20–02.18
STELLAR GIFTS You’re
independent, forward thinking,
and compassionate.
BLIND SPOTS Sometimes you have
trouble seeing others’ points of
view and can emotionally shut off
if things aren’t going your way.
FASHION FAVES Crisp blues and
metallics boost your boss ways.
INDULGENCE Throwing over-
the-top parties for your friends is
one of your many specialties.
SEDUCTION STYLE Love is as much
about the mental connection for
you as it is about the physical, so
you need a man who can rock your
mind and your body.
THIS MONTH Mercury will move
into retrograde on the 2nd,
making it an ideal time to rewrite
your own rules. Changes
you make will be for the best and
prepare you for Venus and Mars
moving into Aries after the 20th.
You like to focus on one thing at a
time, but multitask to explore new
opportunities that come your way.
YEAR AHEAD Focus on balancing
your needs with those of your
BF or business partner for exciting
results. When you find the best
strategies for compromise,
you’ll both soar to new heights
together. Love is in the air in June
and August. At work, July and
November are your sweet spots.
Going for what you truly want this
year will pay off, so don’t hesitate!
YOU NEED A jumpsuit that can
be dressed up or down is perfect
for your edgy cool-girl style.
204
PISCES ARIES
02.19–03.20 03.21–04.20
YOUR MONTH: With Mercury YOUR MONTH: Spending
in retrograde until the time with friends is a
11th, you’ll have lots of priority early in the
energy for tying up loose month, especially around
ends. But there’s time for the 2nd, when your ruler,
romance, especially Uranus, creates an angle
around the 1st and 25th, with the Sun called a
when Neptune moves sextile, letting in positive
into a positive position. new things. YOU NEED: A
YOU NEED: A cozy white box clutch to show your
sweater to complete your modern edge and keep
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PISCES GUY: Take advan- ARIES GUY: He’s a social
tage of his creative, mel- butterfly right now, so
low mood with a bath plan a night out but
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to make it steamy. partway through. Hot!
Clutch, Kate Spade New York,
Sweater, Bebe, $89,
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s
tc he
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ARIES
be He loves your unique
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adore his confident
can-do attitude! Together,
your experimentation
and tendency to push
boundaries in
bed create fireworks.
SAGITTARIUS
You two bring out
each other’s rebellious
streak—but you’re still
ELIZABETH
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02.16.89 Jumpsuit, unconditionally. You
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Aurora’s Inspo
February starts out with a pesky Mercury
retrograde period, so finish up old
projects but don’t start new ones until the
11th. On the 22nd, a rare union between
Mars and Venus occurs in Aries.
Be bold and pursue your dreams!
TAURUS
04.21–05.21
YOUR MONTH: The 1st is a
very romantic day for you
and could even see you
garnering major attention
from VIPs. Roll with it! Pay
attention to your intuition
after your ruler, Venus,
moves into your zone of
dreams on the 24th. YOU
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TAURUS GUY: His work is
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Coat, Wilfred for Aritzia, $275,
aritzia.com
BEN GOLDSTEIN/STUDIO D. STYLIST: MELISSA NICOLE BUCK FOR RJ BENNETT REPRESENTS. OPPOSITE PAGE: DEMIS
VIRGO
MARYANNAKIS/STAR MAX/GETTY IMAGES. THIS PAGE: JEFFREY MAYER/WIREIMAGE.
08.23–09.22
YOUR MONTH: Since
Mercury is your ruler, the
fact that it’s in retrograde
till the 11th means it’s an
ideal time for you to mix
things up. Have secret
sexy fantasies you’ve
never acted on? This is
the time! YOU NEED: A
cookbook to inspire you
in more ways than one.
VIRGO GUY: He’s all about
his routine. Be a part of
it by suggesting a way
you can sweat together—
always a turn-on!
Chocopologie, by Fritz
Knipschildt, $24.99, available
wherever books are sold
GEMINI
05.22–06.20
YOUR MONTH: You love to
travel, so take a trip
early in the month if you
can! If not, just checking
out a new neighborhood
could lead to a magical
experience. YOU NEED:
A tribal-print bag that
lets you fantasize about
a faraway destination,
even if you can’t go
there. GEMINI GUY:
Nothing gets him more
excited than a new
adventure, so make a
pact to see—and do—at
least one new thing
together every weekend.
Bag, Mudd, $54, Kohl’s
LIBRA
09.23–10.22
YOUR MONTH: With your
ruler Venus and assertive
Mars in your zone of
relationships after the
20th, focus on nurturing
the people in your life
with a party to chase
away the winter blues.
YOU NEED: Pretty statio-
nery to show your loved
ones you care with a
note. LIBRA GUY: His social
calendar has him feeling
wanted. Remind him
what he wants most—
you—with a teasing text.
Global Greetings stationery
set, Rifle Paper Co., $22,
riflepaperco.com
CANCER
06.21–07.22
YOUR MONTH: The start of the
month is a romantic time
for you, when the Sun is in
your zone of intimacy and
sex. Around the 8th, make
sure your guy or crush
knows how you’re feeling
and what feels good too!
YOU NEED: To celebrate the
Fifty Shades of Grey movie
with some naughty
lingerie! CANCER GUY: He’s
looking for intimacy and
passion. Use your charm
to get him to open up—in
and out of the bedroom.
Bustier, $690, panty,
$440, Luna Mae London,
lunamaelondon.com
SCORPIO
10.23–11.21
YOUR MONTH: Spend time
warming up your space
and redecorating early
in the month. A gorgeous
aspect between your
ruler Pluto and Venus
on the 8th will help you
find the best deals.
YOU NEED: A shimmery
polish that feels soft and
romantic, no matter
how harsh the weather.
SCORPIO GUY: He’s in
nesting mode this
month, so cozy up the
bedroom to make sure
he never wants to leave!
Chanel Le Vernis Nail Colour in
Paradisio, $27, chanel.com
LEO
07.23–08.22
YOUR MONTH: Your love
life is on fire! Already
taken? Things will really
start to sizzle around the
6th. And if you’re single,
you’ll cross paths with
a smokin’ stranger you
might get to know much
better after the 18th.
YOU NEED: Statement
earrings that show off
your bold confidence and
your flirty side. LEO GUY:
Being generous is natural
for him, so take time to
show him how to take
care of all your needs.
Earrings, Ann Taylor, $39.50,
anntaylor.com
SAGITTARIUS
11.22–12.21
YOUR MONTH: Get some
R&R after the Sun moves
into Pisces on the 18th.
Your creativity will soar
after the 20th, so use your
quiet time to work on a
project you’d previously
stalled out on—you’ll be
thrilled by the results. YOU
NEED: A new iPhone cover
to make you happy during
your communication blitz!
SAGITTARIUS GUY: Time with
the family will be on his
agenda. Now is your
chance to wow his near-
est and dearest.
iPhone case, Dannijo, $98,
dannijo.com
FEBRUARY 2015 | COSMOPOLITAN
the
aqu
ar ius
guy
02.09.76
LOVES A confident
and courageous
woman who isn’t
afraid to show her
true self.
HATES Pessimistic,
flaky types who
can’t support his
grand visions.
DREAM DATE Any-
thing off-beat and
fun! Try a carnival or
improv show where
he can laugh and
be goofy with you.
WIN HIM OVER
By being supportive
of his goals and
showing him how
passionate you are
about yours too.
CAPRICORN
12.22–01.19
YOUR MONTH: You’ve
been pulled in a million
directions recently, but
this month, you’ll be
able to concentrate on
the things that are most
important to you. YOU
NEED: A fragrant body
lotion—it’s a small
luxury you’ll love indulg-
ing in. CAPRICORN GUY:
He likes splurging on
his favorite things. Pick
a sumptuous, sensual
activity to enjoy
together, like a spa day
or tasting dinner.
Balenciaga Paris Body Cream,
$95, Neiman Marcus
205
 COSMO EXCLUSIVE
A VIEW
FROM
THE TOP
For the first time in her life,
Ashling Sullivan feels like her
fate is in her hands. Back in
New York, she’s taking control
and launching a styling
business with her best friend
while making bank shaking
cocktails at her family’s bar.
And there are no men in her
life to distract her from
everything she’s building…that
is, until Johnny Ryan walks
into Sullivan’s and threatens to
turn her plans—and her life—
upside down. Can she resist
this sexy Irish stranger when
she senses he could take her
for the ride of her life?
BY TIFFANY REISZ
206 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015
I WOKE UP DISORIENTED. I wasn’t in
my own bed. I blinked and looked
around: Johnny’s apartment. Damn.
I’d fallen asleep before I could leave.
And then, despite what an amaz-
ing night it had been, I cringed. I’d
just sworn off men to focus on some
me-time, and here I am. But now
that I’d gotten that out of my system,
I resolved it wasn’t going to happen
again. Definitely not.
---
After a late breakfast together in a
cool-kid Williamsburg diner, Johnny
and I decided to take a sightseeing
detour before I had to go into work.
I’d tried to argue that Johnny didn’t
have to go with me to the bar, hoping
to avoid the temptation of him, but he’d
quelled me with one dark blue look.
I wrinkled up my nose to think for a
second, trying to conjure up a safe plan
and then said, “Have you been to the
High Line yet?”
He frowned. “The high what?”
“It’s an old disused railway line that
runs above the ground on the West
Side, around the Meatpacking District.
They’ve turned it into a city park.”
“Nope, sounds great. Let’s go. I
want to feel you up while we ride the
bike there.”
I looked at him, ready to deliver
some witty rejoinder, and my mind
went blank as a voice screamed at me,
What the hell are you still doing here?!
But the inner rebel was back in force
and helped me ignore the voice.
As we rode over the Williamsburg
Bridge on the motorcycle I’d borrowed
from my brother, all I was aware of
were his powerful thighs around mine
and those big hands resting far too
close to that place.
 AD V ERT I SEM EN T

COOL hot
dominated the raised railway line, with tips buys
hundreds of windows. It looked like
a cross between a ’60s Eastern Bloc Deep Moisture
office building and a futuristic design,
straddling the High Line on two mas- of
sive concrete blocks. Cocoa Butter!
“What is that?” Johnny asked
curiously.
“It’s a cool hotel. The Standard.” Now in a lightweight
We walked underneath it, and spray. New Palmer’s®
Johnny stopped to look up, clearly
fascinated by the design. When we Rapid Moisture™
Spray Lotion offers

“NO GUY HAD EVER DONE ANYTHING all the skin-smoothing

SO SPONTANEOUS.…HE WENT TO benefits of cocoa

THE FLOOR-TO-CEILING WINDOW
AND BECKONED ME OVER.”
When I got off the bike at our
destination, I was seriously jittery
and turned on. Johnny looked the
same: his jaw tight with tension, his
eyes burning. But I was determined
to be the tour guide and not give in
to the compulsion to find the nearest
enclosed private space.
I put away the helmets and said
grimly, “Come on.”
When we emerged at the top of the
steps onto the High Line itself, I heard
Johnny breathe out in admiration,
HADLEY HUDSON/ THE LICENSING PROJECT (2)
butter in a convenient
delivery. It absorbs
quickly for deep
moisture that lasts
24 hours. Feel the
emerged from the underpass, I spot-
ted an empty seat, and we went over to difference with
sit down. It was partially hidden by tall Palmer’s® Rapid
bamboo growing nearby.
Johnny pulled me in front of him Moisture Spray™
between his legs, and we were looking
straight out to the sparkling Hudson. Lotion. Palmers.com
His hands rested almost indecently
between my legs, and he exerted a little Put Your
pressure. Enough to get me tingling
and very horny.
Best
“What are you doing?” I hissed. Face Forward!
“Look up there.” He had lifted a
hand and was pointing up to the hotel.
I squinted to see, and when I could
make out what we were looking at, my
breath stalled in my throat.
It was a woman, full frontal and
naked, with her arms raised and palms
spread on one of the hundreds of win-
dows. I could make out hands on her
hips and a man behind her, forcing
her hips forward and back as he thrust
powerfully in and out.
Johnny’s head came close to mine,
but I could sense he was still looking
up at the couple too. Both hands press-

taking in the old track as it wound its
way north, likely gathering inspiration
and mentally designing his next piece
of high-end, bespoke furniture. We
walked with the Hudson River spar-
kling in the bright autumn sunshine on
one side and the very hip Meatpacking
District below us on the other.
In the near distance, a tall building
ing against my crotch now, exerting
stronger pressure.
This was so erotic. On a bench in
broad daylight with Johnny all but slid-
ing his hand down between my legs.
“What time do you have to be at
work?” Johnny’s voice sounded rough,
slightly breathless.
My whole body clenched. I looked
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at my watch feeling slightly dazed. “In
three hours.”
He muttered something indecipher-
able, and then he was standing up and
all but dragging me back down the
High Line, under the hotel, retracing
our steps.
I gripped his hand. “Where are we
going?”
He barely glanced at me. “You’ll
see.”
And then we were going back down
the iron-girded stairs to the street
level, and Johnny was looking around
for something. I only got an inkling of
what he was doing when I saw the dis-
creet entrance of The Standard hotel
appear ahead of us down a cobbled side
street.
Struck dumb, I could only follow as
Johnny greeted the doorman jauntily.
We went into the hotel, and my shock
dissipated and my excitement spiked
when I heard him ask the receptionist
for one of their best corner rooms.
I couldn’t quite believe what he
was doing, even when the receptionist
sent me an obviously envious glance as
she checked the credit card, and then
Johnny was pulling me behind him.
Once we were alone inside the ele-
vator, I turned to him, still in shock
and pulsing with anticipation.
“I can’t believe you just did that.”
He smiled at me wickedly. “You’ll
believe it in about 10 minutes when
your legs are wrapped around my waist
and we’re giving a mile-high show to
everyone across the river.”
Johnny led the way down a corridor,
looking for the right room. Then he was
opening the door onto an impressive
corner room with spectacular views
over the Hudson.
Oh my god. This isn’t a dream.
No guy had ever done anything so
spontaneous.
I followed Johnny into the room as
he went to the floor-to-ceiling window
and beckoned me over. I slipped out of
my leather jacket and let it drop to the
ground.
He’d taken off his top layer too, and
now he was wearing a white tee shirt
that was so thin I could see nothing but
ripped muscles, a tantalizing sliver of
flat belly, and that delicious line of dark
hair that led down underneath the top
button of his low-slung jeans.
I felt reckless and wild. And free.
The past was dropping away, and I wel-
208 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015
comed it.
“You’re wearing too many clothes,
Johnny.”
He arched a brow. “So are you.” We
stripped within seconds, until we were
both naked. I was so ready after that
“I FELT RECKLESS
AND WILD.
AND FREE.”
bike ride and watching the explicit
show in the window.
Johnny’s hot gaze dropped down
over my body. The huge windows
around us heightened everything. I
stepped up to him and took his cock
in my hands. It was already hard and
got harder as I stroked it in my fist. He
put his arms around me and lifted me
up on tiptoe, kissing me deeply and so I moaned, the thought making
thoroughly that I got even wetter. my muscles clench around him even
Within minutes, he had me fac- tighter.
ing the window, arms spread wide. He He moved so that I was more
pressed against me, his hands explored upright, closer to the window, his arms
me thoroughly, coming around to wrapped around me, and when one
reach between my legs. hand went back down between my
His other hand cupped a breast legs, he sent me into orbit.
and tweaked a nipple to stinging hard- “Look, Ash, look.”
ness. And then he put his hands on my I opened my eyes and felt dazed.
hips and dragged me back toward him, The boat was closer now, we could see
making me bend forward slightly as he small shapes, people were obviously
entered me deeply in one smooth move, taking pictures of the High Line and
making me groan loudly. the hotel. And that’s what did it.
I was so turned on that I gasped. I came in a blinding leg-trembling
A sightseeing boat chugged past rush, just as the flash of a camera
along the river, far enough away that went off and I imagined our carnality
we couldn’t make out the people. As if caught forever on some unwitting per-
reading my mind, Johnny said gruffly, son’s vacation snap. ■
“Imagine if they have binoculars,
Ash.…they’re probably looking up here © Excerpted from Her Last Wild Ride, by Abby Green. © 2015
Harlequin Enterprises Ltd. Available in e-book and audio.
right now.…”
GET YOUR FREE E-BOOK!
Download a free Cosmopolitan Red-Hot Read from Harlequin
—Unexpected, by Sarah Morgan.
Haley Miller knew that being a bridesmaid at her ex-boyfriend’s
wedding—in a hideous yellow dress—would, of course, be
awful. But the steamy make-out sesh she shares with Niccolo,
the crazy-hot best man, was definitely unexpected. This exclusive
edition for Cosmo readers includes a bonus interview with the
USA Today best-selling author.
Just visit BookShout.com/CosmoFreeBook and enter the code REDHOT. (Do it before the offer expires February 4, 2015.)
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 Crazy situation working your last nerve? Vent here!
BITCH
IT OUT!
TRFEANVDEERLS
OF
SOLE MATES
“Apparently, I have to fight a foot for
my arm rest.” —Katrina H., 26
ANNOYED BEYOND BELIEF? E-MAIL INBOX@COSMOPOLITAN.COM (SUBJECT: BITCH IT OUT) TO SHARE YOUR PET PEEVE (AND PHOTO). IF WE PRINT YOUR SHOT, WE’LL GIVE YOU $50!
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Page 9: Osklen Praia A&B—Osklen, New York SoHo;
Osklen, Miami. Aurélie Bidermann—aurelie
bidermann.com. Uribe—Opening Ceremony. Maria
Francesca Pepe—mariafrancescapepe.com. Cult
Gaia—cultgaia.com. DSquared2—Good Eye. Tiffany
& Co.—Tiffany boutiques, tiffany.com. Cartier—
cartier.us, 800-CARTIER. Meadowlark—
meadowlarkjewellry.com.
Page 10: Phillip Plein—plein.com/shop. Paige
Denim—Satine. J Brand—select Bloomingdale’s
stores. Luv Aj—luvaj.com. Lulu Frost—lulufrost
.com. Revlon—revlon.com.
IN HER OWN WORDS
Page 28: Adam Selman—Opening Ceremony.
Levi’s—levi.com. Joshua Sanders—Intermix. Anndra
Neen—Bergdorf Goodman. Luv Aj—luvaj.com.
WHAT’S SEXY FOR FEBRUARY
Page 119: Gap—gap.com. American Eagle Outfit-
ters—ae.com. La Perla—laperla.com. Diesel Black
Gold—Diesel Black Gold, 212-966-5593. Luv Aj—
luvaj.com. Cartier—cartier.us.
IT’S KYLIE’S TURN
Page 120: Rebecca Minkoff—866-838-6991. Kate
Spade Saturday—saturday.com. Derek Lam 10
Crosby—dereklam.com. Anndra Neen—Five Story,
New York, 212-288-1338. Cartier—cartier.us.
Page 123: The Kooples—thekooples.com. Cynthia
Rowley—cynthiarowley.com. Sergio Rossi—Sergio
Rossi, Bal Harbour, Fla., 305-864-3643. Luv Aj—
luvaj.com. Collette Ishiyama—colletteishiyama
.com. Alexis Bittar—alexisbittar.com.
Page 124: CG—chrisgelinas.com. Denim & Supply
210 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015
magic
re’s a y ou
W h e er w h en ?
m ar k e e d o n e
n
WHATAMIAPILLOW?
“Really? And if you could only hear
the mouth-snore coming from this
stranger.…Middle seats are freaking
awesome.” —Shelley C., 35
Ralph Lauren—Macy’s. DL1961 Premium Denim—
DL1961.com. Ohne Titel—special order at sales@
ohnetitel.com. Luv Aj—luvaj.com. Alexis Bittar—
alexisbittar.com. CoverGirl—drugstores..
Page 125: American Eagle Outfitters—ae.com.
Vera Wang Collection—Vera Wang Mercer, 212-
382-2184.
SHAKE IT UP
Page 126: Marc Jacobs—marcjacobs.com. Elena
Ghisellini—saks.com. Jimmy Choo—select
Jimmy Choo boutiques, jimmychoo.com. Arme
de L’Amour—net-a-porter.com, armedelamour
.com. Tiffany & Co.—Tiffany boutiques, tiffany
.com. Cartier—cartier.us, 800-CARTIER.
Page 127: Clover Canyon—Kristine Michael,
Miami, clovercanyon.com. Christian Siriano—
Christian Siriano retail store, New York, christian
siriano.com. Alexandre Birman—Julian Gold, San
Antonio. Mark Cross—Dover Street Market, New
York, barneys.com. Hearts on Fire—heartsonfire
.com. Maria Francesca Pepe—mariafrancesca
pepe.com.
Page 128: Emporio Armani—available at Emporio
Armani boutiques nationwide. Opening Ceremony—
Opening Ceremony. Oscar Tiye—H Lorenzo, luis
aviaroma.com. Paradise Bay Trading Company—
gardenhomeproducts.com. Ming Yu Wang—
mingyuwangnewyork.com/shop.
Page 129: Fendi—Fendi, New York, 212-897-2244.
Thakoon—net-a-porter.com.
Page 130: Osklen Praia A&B—Osklen, New York
SoHo; Osklen, Miami. Aurélie Bidermann—aurelie
bidermann.com. Uribe—Opening Ceremony.
Maria Francesca Pepe—mariafrancescapepe
.com. Cult Gaia—cultgaia.com. DSquared2—
Good Eye..
Page 131: Moschino—Hirshleifers, New York, shop
bop.com. Forever 21—forever21.com. Aurélie
UNITED HAIRLINES
“This girl in the seat in front of me
decided her hair would be the perfect
addition to my in-flight movie.
Negative!” —Alla M., 27
Bidermann—aureliebidermann.com. Neutro-
gena—neutrogena.com.
Page 132: Derek Lam 10 Crosby—similar styles
available at Derek Lam 10 Crosby stores. Valen-
tino—valentino.com Boss—Hugo Boss stores,
800-HUGOBOSS. Neutrogena—neutrogena.com
Page 133: Stella McCartney—Stella McCartney
New York, 212-255-1556. By Johnny—byjohhny
.com.au. Christian Louboutin—christianlouboutin
.com. Coach—select Coach stores, coach.com.
Marc Jacobs—available March 2015 at Solstice
Sunglasses.
HAVE YOUR SEXIEST V DAY EVER
Page 134: MICHAEL Michael Kors—866-709-KORS.
Fleur du Mal—fleurdumal.com. Emporio Armani—
Emporio Armani boutiques nationwide. Pamela
Love—pamelalovenyc.com. Jennifer Fisher—
jenniferfisherjewelry.com. Robert Lee Morris—
robertleemorris.com. Shaun Leane—shaun
leane.com.
Page 136: Ohne Titel—Bergdorf Goodman. Xr—
xr-jewelry.com.
Page 137: Stella McCartney—Stella McCartney,
New York, 212-255-1556. Anthony Vaccarello X
Versus Versace—select Versace boutiques,
versusversace.com. Jennifer Fisher—jennifer
fisher jewelr y.com. Caterina Zangrando—
caterinazangrando.com. Uncommon Matters—
The Webster. Miami, 305-674-7899. White Moth
Jewelry—whitemothjewelry.com.
Page 138: Cushnie et Ochs—Bergdorf Goodman.
Shaun Leane—shaunleane.com. Paige Novick—
paigenovick.com. White Moth Jewelry—white
mothjewelry.com.
Page 139: Diorshow—dior.com. Maybelline
New York—drugstores. Guerlain—Neiman
Marcus. Chanel—chanel.com. MAC—mac
cosmetics.com.
 2015 COSMOPOLITAN EDIT SURVEY SWEEPSTAKES
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 Men, Women
and Children’s
mom Joan
rarely
knows best.

THE BREAKDOWN
Mostly A’s
CAROL BRADY
You aren’t turning
into your mother,
you’ve full-on stolen
her identity! While it’s
important to look both
ways before you cross
the street, you’re
BY ROSE SURNOW playing life too safe.
Go out on a week-
1. You never 4. When your night! Play poker with
leave the house best friend actual money instead
of Jolly Ranchers! It’s
without: announces time to take off those
a. Sunscreen, a Wind- she’s back- nude hose and throw
breaker, Taser, and $40 packing alone on some fishnets.
in a hidden money belt.
b. Spanx and Altoids. through Eastern Mostly B’s
c. Black lipstick, a Europe, you: CARRIE BRADSHAW
pentagram necklace, a. Make up some No matter how hard
and your hairless cat. crazy crime statistics you try to fight it, we
and convince her all have a little mom
2. Your current she’s going to be inside us. It’s that
human-trafficked. responsible part of
boyfriend is: b. Invite yourself you that keeps you
a. A real estate to join and turn her from dating a club
lawyer with a comb- spiritual quest into a promoter or getting
over and a passion month-long rager. involved in musical
for puns, just c. Demolish her theater. You can enjoy
like your old man! tame little plans

FROM TOP: DALE ROBINETTE/PARAMOUNT PICTURES; NEW LINE/EVERETT COLLECTION; PETER HOPPER STONE/
an open vodka bar but
b. Out there some- by riding a motorcycle still keep it together
where. Come to through Iraq. enough to make it to
mama! work the next day.
c. A juggalo with neck That, my friend, is a
tats and a chin braid. 5. An ideal grown-ass woman.
Saturday night is:
3. Nothing a. Watching Murder, Mostly C’s
makes you She Wrote reruns in KELLY BUNDY
bed while spooning It’s natural to rebel
feel more an obese cat. against your mom
ABC/GETTY IMAGES; WARNER BROS./EVERETT COLLECTION.

alive than: b. Cards Against with bad judgment…

a. Haggling a Humanity + Franzia when you’re 16. As
Nordstrom sales- + girl gang. an adult, it’s a li’l Sad
woman down to 15 c. Midnight skinny-dip Spice. Show some
percent off an “as is” in shark-infested restraint, cultivate
DVF wrap dress. waters on a Tinder date. some maturity, put
b. Bragging about a on a shirt! You want to
one-night stand at Sadly for all have stories to tell the
brunch. Still got it! daughters, grandkids, but they
c. Twerking onstage at Lorelai Gilmore shouldn’t all end with
a Snoop Lion concert. is not real. you in a Mexican jail.

212 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2015

 ©2014 CHANEL®, Inc. COCO®, The Classic Bottle®, B®

AVAILABLE AT CHANEL .COM

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