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Morgan Dang

Dr. Lim

AP Lang and Composition

15 February 2017

The Pursuit Of Gender Neutrality

Gender neutrality is a controversial topic where society is torn between accepting and not

accepting gender neutrality, but everyone has their reasons. It is understandable that gender

neutral parenting can be confusing for a child. Furthermore, “I want more than that for my

children. The kind who could step up and defend our nation in times of need. You don’t achieve

that by telling them, ‘Hey, whatever, just do your thing’” (Lu). The idea of gender neutral

parenting can be perceived as something that is stripping away a child’s gender because of the

fact that gender neutrality is about being nonbinary. Gender neutral parenting can be viewed as

something that is liberating boys from boyhood or girls from becoming a woman. Every parent

wants the best for their children and it is respectable that they want their child to reach their full

potential as a good person. Yes, gender neutral parenting can be seen as a restriction which is

understandable for a parent who wants the best for their child. Gender neutral parenting is not for

everyone because everyone has their own views on how to raise their child and there is nothing

wrong with that. Every parent can understand the love that comes with raising a child. It is

respectable that gender neutral parenting is not always the answer, however by being gender

neutral, it creates a society that is more accepting of each other’s values and interests.

The idea of establishing gender neutral bathrooms is a rising topic in today’s society, but

this can be an uprising in a concern for safety. Sex-segregated bathrooms were first established
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during the Victorian era for one reason. It was established to separate spheres of male and female

and to protect women from the dangers of the male world. The vulnerability of women have

always been a concern and it is reasonable for people to be concerned about establishing

bathrooms that both genders could share. Furthermore, “As late as 2007, Senator Larry Craig

was arrested in an airport-restroom sex sting for signalling interest in sex with a stranger in an

adjacent stall, and convicted of disorderly conduct” (Gersen). Since this incident occurred, it is

understandable for one to be concerned for the safety of people using the restroom. In addition,

bathrooms are where you are most vulnerable since trousers are pulled down in proximity to

others and can be easily be exploited in connection with sexual assault.

There is a debate over gender neutral parenting as to whether it is confusing in a way

where they wonder why their parents chose to keep the child genderless and what it means to be

a man or a woman. Some also question if gender neutral parenting results in unhealthy

development as well. Moreover, “The increased support for gender liberation has some

questioning why people would even consider keeping their children genderless, most accepting

that gender is a fact and not a decision” (Villalva). Yes, gender is a biological fact proven by

science. One cannot choose a gender they want to be because it is determined at birth. Also,

“Sure, it’s wonderful to accept your child no matter how they turn out, but there’s a world of

difference between acceptance and denial of identity” (Gregoire). Gender neutral parenting can

be interpreted as deliberately confusing a child and putting them in denial of identity by

conveying that they do not have a gender when they are living in a world that revolves around

gender binaries. Gender neutral parents stray away from guiding their child on the path to

manhood or their femininity and, instead, letting their child run free. A man, as viewed in
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society, is someone who is honorable, strong, and able to support a family. Every parent wants

their child to be honorable, strong, and supportive. It is understandable that a parent wants to

raise their child by their standards by incorporating gender.

There has been an uprise in gender neutral bathrooms, where some parts of society are

supporting and striving for it, but have not been very successful at it. The difficulty that comes

with pursuing gender neutral bathrooms is valid because of the laws that segregate gender

bathrooms and the parts of society that do not agree with the idea of gender neutral bathrooms.

For instance, “One practical reason we can’t change to unsegregated bathrooms overnight is that

municipal, state, and federal legal codes, many with origins in the nineteenth century, mandate

that there be separate facilities for each sex, in businesses and places of work” (Gersen). The

laws of America have segregated bathrooms according to gender, so it would be difficult to make

a drastic change in America that has been a law for centuries. Also, gender neutral bathrooms

can be uncomfortable for people simply because of sharing a bathroom with the opposite sex that

identify themselves as another gender. Gender neutral bathrooms can pose as a dangerous

hazard, specifically dealing with sexual assault and rape. With the small percentage of people

who identify themselves as the gender they perceive themselves as, a small fraction of society is

not enough to make a drastic change in the law of segregating bathrooms. The difficulty of this is

logical. In addition, “That means the safety, privacy and common decency concerns for 99.7

percent of the American population are sacrificed on the altar of political correctness and “feel

good” policies for a tiny fraction of the public” (Vliet). The concern for the public’s safety is

rational and wishing to not establish gender neutral bathrooms because of these reasons is

justifiable.
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Although these arguments against gender neutral parenting and bathrooms are valid, there

are also some arguments for gender neutrality that are valid as well. Science shows that gender

neutral toys for children can empower them and develop in a healthy way. Evidently,

“Conversely, de-gendering toys will allow children, and arguably society at large, to reap

long-term benefits: when we offer kids equal choices from an early age, it logically follows that

they will continue to expect and demand equality in their personal, social and professional lives”

(Shaw). By practicing gender neutral parenting, this could allow children to be more open

minded, broaden their interests, and allow freedom of expression. Many argue that by practicing

gender neutral parenting, it will confuse the child which can be true in some cases. However,

“Integrated toy aisles won’t result in widespread upheaval and gender confusion among

children” (Shaw). Children will most likely look at toys the same regardless of what gender

binary it is expected to fit into. This can transfer into daily life because of how they perceive toys

with no gender segregation. It can be incorporated into how they view society. Since the LGBT

community is expanding in population, children are more exposed to homosexuals and

transgenders. With gender neutral parenting, children can lean towards acceptance and approach

the situation, with the discrimination of the LGBT community, with an open mind.

On another note, raising children to be gender neutral can be a stepping stone to

acceptance for the future. Society is moving more towards gender neutrality like Gucci, a major

fashion industry, is incorporating gender neutral clothing. The traditional gender binary

stereotype is, for example, pink is for girls and blue is for boys or heels on shoes are only for

women and not for men. With the stereotypes, like how women belong in the kitchen or men

cannot cry, that society is engulfed in today, children are being raised with the traditional gender
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binary stereotype. Lastly, “Another preschool removed "free playtime" from its schedule

because, as a pedagogue at the school ​put it​, when children play freely "stereotypical gender

patterns are born and cemented. In free play there is hierarchy, exclusion, and the seed to

bullying” (Rothschild). With gender neutrality, this can erase the stereotypical gender binary

rules that are implanted into children’s minds and can lead to an open minded society.

There are many reasons behind some parts of society not supporting gender neutrality,

however, here are some reasons as to how supporting gender neutrality will benefit both sides of

this controversy. For example, “If you’re tired of endless lines at the women’s room, unisex

facilities will help reduce your wait time” (Lang). Usually, the women’s restroom is always

occupied with long waits and frustrated women waiting in lines, but the men’s restroom is almost

vacant nearly all the time. A woman could not enter into a men’s restroom, even though both

restrooms have the same utilities, because it is a men’s restroom. Since gender neutral bathrooms

are open to all genders, the long lines in the restrooms will not be a problem. Gender neutral

bathrooms can be more safe to everyone. There are many cases on people mistaking a man for a

woman inside the women’s restroom or vise versa. However, this one case in particular was

unbelievable. It is true, “A cisgender lesbian, was thrown out of a McDonald’s in Hull, England,

after using the women’s room” (Lang). Apparently, Richardson was thrown out because she

claimed that she was a woman, but failed to prove her gender to a manager who assumed she

was a boy using the wrong restroom. A similar event happened as well, “When a security guard

mistook Cortney Bogorad for a man and pulled her out of a stall in the women’s room. He

proceeded to bodyslam her against the wall” (Lang). The safety that is concerned for using the

restroom is immense, especially towards the LGBT community. There are many
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misunderstandings because of the confusion of the identification of gender. This confusion and

misunderstanding has lead to conflict and a series of unfortunate events. By providing gender

neutral bathrooms, this can be a safer option for all of society regardless of the stereotypical

categories people are placed in. Gender neutral bathrooms can be beneficial for society, “But

while we should be fighting for trans people to be able to use the bathroom that most closely

corresponds with their gender identity, it’s also about providing better, safer options for

everyone” (Lang). Providing a safer option for, not only the LGBT community, but for all of

society starts by incorporating gender neutral bathrooms. Gender neutral bathrooms will reduce

long lines to get to the restroom and increase the safety of the community.

Although the controversy between being gender neutral and not gender neutral still exists

today, gender neutrality is something that should be taught and valued in order to maintain a safe

community for all citizens. Everyone is different and yet all the same, so society should make it

easier for those who do not fit into those boxes and move more towards acceptance. The

significance that gender neutrality brings out is the acceptance of every diverse individual

whether they are transgender, gay, or even different in race. Being gender neutral brings

acceptance into society and erases some of the discrimination of the LGBT community that

exists today. People of the LGBT community should not feel ashamed of what they are meant to

be because everyone should have the freedom to express their sexuality without being looked

down upon. Society should be a more accepting environment and people should have the

freedom of choice because love makes the world go round and without it, it would be a world

full of hate.
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Works Cited

Gersen, Jeannie Suk. "Who’s Afraid of Gender-Neutral Bathrooms?" ​The New Yorker​. The

New Yorker, 25 Jan. 2016. Web. 07 Feb. 2017.

<http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/whos-afraid-of-same-sex-bathrooms>.

Gregoire, Sheila Wray. "Why Gender Matters: Against Gender Neutral Parenting." ​To Love,

Honor and Vacuum​. To Love, Honor, and Vacuum, 26 Aug. 2015. Web. 15 Feb. 2017.

<http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2011/06/why-gender-matters/>.

Lang, Nico. "Why All Public Bathrooms Should Be Gender Neutral." ​The Daily Beast​. The

Daily Beast Company, 17 Apr. 16. Web. 11 Feb. 2017.

<http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/04/18/why-all-public-bathrooms-should-be-

gender-neutral.html>.

Lu, Rachel. "Why Gender-Neutral Child-Raising Is A Terrible Idea." ​The Federalist​. The

Federalist, 13 July 2016. Web. 05 Feb. 2017.

<http://thefederalist.com/2016/07/13/why-gender-neutral-child-raising-is-a-terrible-idea/>

Rothschild, Nathalie. "Sweden Goes Gender-Neutral." ​Slate Magazine​. Slate Magazine, 11

Apr. 2012. Web. 11 Feb. 2017.

<http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2012/04/hen_sweden_s_new_gender_n

eutral_pronoun_causes_controversy_.html>.

Shaw, Maureen. "Science Shows Gender Neutral Toys Empower Children, and Possibly

Society at Large." ​Quartz​. Quartz, 05 Sept. 2015. Web. 11 Feb. 2017.

<https://qz.com/494673/science-shows-gender-neutral-toys-empower-children-and-possib

ly-society-at-large/>.
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Villalva, Brittney R. "Gender Liberation: The Harmful Effects of Raising Children 'Gender

Neutral'." ​Christian News, The Christian Post​. The Christian Post, 31 Jan. 2012. Web. 07

Feb. 2017.

<http://www.christianpost.com/news/gender-liberation-the-harmful-effects-of-raising-chil

dren-gender-neutral-68134/>.

Vliet, Elizabeth Lee. "Doc: ‘Gender Neutral’ Bathrooms Are Dangerous." ​WND​. World Net

Daily, 12 Apr. 2016. Web. 07 Feb. 2017.

<http://www.wnd.com/2016/04/doc-gender-neutral-bathrooms-are-dangerous/>.