Barrera 1

Darrian Barrera

2/19/18

English 123

Professor Wilson

Paper #2

Sometimes when we think of parents we think of the people who conceived us,

but that isn’t always the case. For most of us a parent is a title that is given to someone

who provides you a home, food to eat, clothes to wear, supports you mentally and

emotionally, and most importantly loves you for who you are. In James Baldwin’s short

story “Sonny’s Blues,” both Sonny and the narrator had loving parents, but death had

taken them too soon, leaving the narrator and Sonny to fend for themselves in the

crucial world. However, before their mother had passed away, she had told the narrator

the truth about their uncle’s death, and had said to the narrator, “ You got to hold on to

your brother,” she said, “and don’t let him fall, no matter what it looks like is happening

to him and no matter how evil you gets with him… But don't forget what I told you, you

hear?”(Baldwin 103). This was then the start of the trials to the narrator’s rite of passage

to parenthood, and although it may seem like the narrator is quick to judge on his

brother based on what he has observed or experienced. The narrator’s new title, as a

parent, causes him to treat his brother with love not hate.

As children, we think the choices we make for ourselves will benefit us, but to our

parents those choices are trivial, and make decisions that will benefit them. This is

constantly seen in “Sonny’s Blues,” especially when it comes to Sonny’s future. During
a conversation between Sonny and the narrator, the narrator asks Sonny his future

goal. Sonny replied saying he wanted to be a pianist. This answer caught the narrator

by surprise, for the narrator had never “asked Sonny a damn thing”(102), and a thought

occurred to him, “I sensed myself in the presence of something I didn’t really know how

to handle, didn’t understand”(102). The “presence” the narrator is referring to is

something parents undergo with their children, and that is disappointment. Parents have

high expectations for their children, and if those expectations are not met then they

become displeased and confused. However, the narrator simply did not know why

Sonny decided to become a “pianist”. Through a heated conversation, the narrator

finally had enough of the argument and said, “In the meantime you got to finish

school”(104). Most readers might view the narrator’s action and decision for Sonny as

“unfair” or taking away Sonny’s free will, but it is through the narrator’s thoughts and

action where he shows he cares and loves Sonny, as if Sonny were his own child.

Parents are compelled to check on their child whenever they sense they are in

danger. After his brother was released from prison and recovering from his addiction.

The narrator senses that his brother might still be using the drug. For example,

whenever Sonny is absent from the house, the narrator thinks about checking Sonny’s

room, and is afraid he might find heroin, “Suddenly I was standing still in front of the

living room watching Seventh Avenue. The idea of searching Sonny’s room made me

still. I didn’t know what to do if I found it. Or if I didn’t”(107). Since the narrator is afraid

for his brother, he wants to check his room, not because he is judging Sonny, but

because he wants to protect Sonny from the drugs. It is a parents instinct to protect their

child no matter the cost. The narrator’s thought should not be mistaken for uncertainty.
Rather, he was worried for Sonny. His hesitancy when he thinks he might not even find

heroin shows he loves and trust Sonny.

A parent hates to see their child in pain or suffering. In a conversation between

Sonny and the narrator, Sonny talks about the pain and suffering people go through,

and says, “While I was downstairs before, on my way here, listening to that woman sing,

it struck me all of a sudden how much suffering she must have had gone through- to

sing like that. It’s repulsive to think you have to suffer that much”(110). Even though

Sonny does not admit it, Sonny is truly suffering and feels like it’s disgusting how much

a person has to suffer in life. This of course worries the narrator, for he doesn’t want

Sonny to just suffer and not know how to deal with the pain. He suggested to Sonny that

there are ways to fight through the sufferings, “You try all kinds of ways to keep from

drowning in it, to keep on top of it, and to make it seem-well, like you”(110). In this

quote, the narrator is excessively worried for Sonny and tells him that there are ways to

cope with the sufferings. Through all the pain both Sonny and the narrator have gone

through, the narrator fears that Sonny won’t be able to deal with his sufferings and

might take his own life.

A parent tries to teach you to overcome life’s obstacles to get back up when you

have fallen. To recall, before their mother’s death, she says to the narrator, “ Don’t let

him fall, no matter how evil you gets with him”(103). Sonny has fallen way too deep.

Sonny was lost and he thought heroin was his way to escape reality. The narrator feels

like he not only failed his brother, but his mother too. Sonny reassured the narrator and

said, “ I’m alright now and I think I’ll be alright. But I can’t forget-where I’ve been, I mean

where i’ve been. I don’t mean just the physical place I’ve been, I mean where I’ve been.
And what I’ve been”(111). Although Sonny says he is fine, he is still suffering and

remembers all the pain he has endured. However, he tells the narrator, “It can come

again… I just want you to know that”(111), but instead of arguing or trying to persuade

Sonny, the narrator simply says, “All right, so it can come again. All right...I

understand”(112). The narrator realizes that persuasion or the “how life could be

beautiful” talk is not helping Sonny, for the only way he can help Sonny is to be there for

him. No matter how much a parent hates to see their child suffer. All a parent really can

do is be their for there child and support them, for that is a true job for a parent.

Through great confusion, fear, and disappointment, a parent’s final trial is

learning to accept their children for whom they are. In an essay written by Donald C.

Murray, he writes about the narrator becoming lost after everything he had gone

through, but through all the experiences he has endured, he had found ways to mature

and accept them. In the essay, Murray writes, “ To be aware of oneself, Baldwin

believes, is to feel a sense of loss to know where we are and what we’ve left

behind”(Murray). The death of his mother left the narrator stray from his connection with

his brother, but he soons reconnects with his brother. After constant confusion and

arguments, the narrator disagrees with Sonny’s choices, and does not fully understand

his pain. However, In “Sonny’s Blues,” the narrator finally attends Sonny’s performance.

Through Sonny’s music, the narrator reminisces everything he was told, seen, and

been. After this experience, the narrator has a sense of clarity and is proud of Sonny,

for now he truly understands Sonny and learns to accept him for who he is. His love for

Sonny has become far greater than he can imagine. In Murray’s essay, he mentions in

his essay about the power of love, “Love is what life should be about, he realizes; love
which is all more poignant because involved with pain, separation, and death...through

his own suffering is able to find himself”(Murray). Through his own despair and

sufferings, the narrator is able to find himself and understand Sonny’s pain, and as a

final act of acceptance, the narrator asked a woman to bring drinks to his brother, “He

didn’t seem to notice it, but just before they started playing again, he sipped from it and

looked toward me, and nodded”(115). This scene indicates that the narrator has fulfilled

all the trials as a parent. The narrator disagreed with Sonny’s choices, but in the end

learns to accept them. A parent shows they truly love their child is when they accept

them for who they are.

Being put into a life-changing position in an instant must be hard for anyone, as

we get a glimpse of it through the narrator. We experience the hardships and struggles

of losing a parental role and the flaws that come when that position gets placed on you

so suddenly. There may have been many instances in which the narrator displays many

of these flaws upon his brother, Sonny, which is why many view it is an act of hatred.

Rather, we should look at it from a different perspective; a boy struggling to cope with

the loss of his mother and daughter, while trying to provide that same role towards

someone he now has to look after, as if he were his own. It is the journey of coping with

loss and sticking together that the narrator expresses these worrisome but loving

thoughts in order to protect his brother from yet another loss; losing himself.