A Love Story

“Where do I begin to tell the story of how great a love can be….” – the words were written for the music

in the movie “Love Story,” which portrays the young love between Jenny (Ali MacGraw) and Oliver

(Ryan O’Neal), set around Harvard Square. Theirs was a passionate love brought short by a tragic illness

and subsequent death. While many in the early 1970’s mourned the end of that Love Story, not many

miles away in Waltham, Massachusetts, another love story was being lived out daily in the lives of Robert

Henry Bolio (Bob) and Joan Bennett. And, the Bolio love story continues today, over 70 years from

when it began.

Today, Bob and Joan are residents at Bon Secours Maria Manor in St. Petersburg, Florida. Joan has been

a resident at Maria Manor since 2010, and was admitted with diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease.

Bob joined her at Maria Manor in 2013 where they now are reunited. In fact, it’s seldom that you see one

of them without the other close by. With a twinkle in her eye, Joan says “Bobby will want to know where

I am.” In 2013, on their 70th anniversary, they renewed their marriage vows and sang their song: “When

you’re old, the wedding ring is new….”

Bob was born in 1923 and Joan in 1924. They each grew up in modest homes in Massachusetts, and have

built a life together in a modest way and through their belief in God and their church. They have never

owned a car, and only Joan had a driver’s license for a short period of time. They relied on mass

transportation, good friends and family to keep them mobile as he pursued his low-wage work binding

books in the next town from them. Joan had her own full-time career as wife, mother, homemaker,

restaurant hostess, and later as an artist, writer and babysitter.

How did the love story begin? During high school, Bob and a good friend were standing on his porch

when an attractive, teenaged girl walked by. Bob asked his friend, “Who is that? She’s the most

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beautiful girl I’ve ever seen!” Later that same day, he called and asked Joan out. “No!” was her answer.

Her dad was very strict and didn’t let her date much. However, as with so many other people in Bob’s

life, Joan’s dad liked him immediately and said “Yes” she could date him. Joan now admits that she

found him “very cute,” and maybe tall and handsome.

Bob and Joan married on April 17, 1943, the height of WWII; 11 days later, he was inducted in the Army

and moved with the 2nd Infantry Division to the European Theater where he served in Belgium, Germany

and Czechoslovakia. His biggest battle was part of the Battle of the Bulge. He is grateful that he did not

sustain any injuries, yet he saw enough wounded and dying young men to give him lifetime memories of

those days. His faith in God and his young love waiting in Massachusetts kept him going. He served his

country with honor, though the record he set was not in battle. He carried 55 pictures of his wife with

him through Europe. Twenty-one year old Bob said at the time, “I’ve never met anyone else over here

with that many pictures of his wife. And, I think 55 is pretty close to the record. If it isn’t, I have more

on the way.”

Joan did not sit idly by waiting for Bob’s return from war. Instead, like many young women during the

war, she found a way to help by working as a file clerk at Raytheon, a young company that contributed

heavily to the war supplies. Bob, demonstrating his great humor, says the “war would have been over

sooner but Joan misfiled it.”

Celebrating the end of the war, Bob and Joan got down to business creating a family, and Bruce was born

in 1946. Over the next 22 years, they had 13 children, and one of the adult sons was lost to Lou Gehrig’s

disease.

Craig, the fourth oldest child, now living and working in the Tampa Bay area, remembers his childhood

as normal. He remembered “the parents didn’t watch like hawks; there was not anything to spoil us with;

we shared everything.” He added that “the highlight was moving out and having my own clothes.” The

children respected their parents. While the parents were not rigid, they only had to give “the look” and

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further discipline was not necessary. Craig says “it worked out OK.” And, today, there are six of the

children still living in Massachusetts and six living in Florida. The Bolios boast 25 grandchildren and 17

greats.

While Bob worked and played tennis, Joan ran the household and found time to develop her other talents.

Somewhere in her 50’s, she started painting. The art lessons came much later. Today, there are several

of Joan’s paintings of landscapes, cats and flowers adorning their shared nursing care center room.

Again, demonstrating her artistic talents, she began to write short stories. She loved scary books and

movies, enjoyed them with their children, and then began to write her own scary stories and illustrated

them, too.

Their daughter-in-law, Debbie, an employee at Maria Manor for 18 years, is a treasured member of the

Bolio family. She visits them regularly in their room and on the grounds of Maria Manor. Debbie

describes Joan as the “perfect mother-in-law, never intruding, but always there for you.” The love

between them is evident to the onlooker.

Often times during the days now, Joan dozes off in short naps. During one of these naps, Bob was asked

what was the highlight of his life. In his humorous way, he looked to be sure Joan was napping, and then

said “Tennis.” Bob began playing tennis at an early age, playing in his first tournament at age 12. He

learned at a school-yard tennis court near his home and never had a tennis lesson. He considers some of

the best times of his life were had while playing with some of the U.S. #1 tennis players. One tennis pal

he mentions is Harrison Robotham, who until recently was still a member of the New England Senior

Tennis League (and mentioned in Sports Illustrated magazine).

Craig and his family moved to Florida away from the cold New England weather. Other members of the

family soon followed. When Bob and Joan retired at 65, they followed their children to St. Petersburg

where they rented a small apartment and lived there for 25 years until they moved to Maria Manor. In

Florida, Joan could not stay retired. With her love of children, she began to babysit. Today, with

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dementia, she will sometimes ask where the children are. She’s no longer inquiring about her 13 children,

but asking about the small ones she liked to babysit.

When Joan first entered Maria Manor, she was placed in a protective unit as her dementia was at a stage

where constant attention was required. She also suffered from back problems, which sometimes caused

her to crawl as walking was too painful. During these years, Bob traveled approximately 13 miles by city

bus to Maria Manor almost every afternoon to visit with her. Kerry, one of the sons, or another family

member would stop on his way home from work and give dad a ride back to his apartment. This

continued until Bob was diagnosed with Leukemia and other complicating illnesses. In 2013, he joined

Joan living at Maria Manor.

When the children realized it was time to place Joan, and subsequently Bob, in a nursing care center, they

did not take Debbie’s word for Maria Manor being a great place. The children did their own due

diligence in finding the “best, right” facility for their parents. After looking at several facilities, they all

agreed, “hands-down,” that Maria Manor was the best place. Craig said, “It was the nicest; it didn’t

smell; it didn’t seem like a nursing home.” And, best of all, the nursing care and therapy Joan received

allowed her to leave the protective unit and later share a room with Bob. Maria Manor provides excellent

physical care, and it provides for the mind and spirit. Mass is held daily; and, if physically able, both Bob

and Joan are there for their spiritual nurturing. Maria Manor is a Catholic facility, owned by the Sister of

Bon Secours, where they live out their Mission to “bring compassion to healthcare and to be Good Help

to Those in Need.”

Recently, Bob commented that he is “boring.” Joan quickly responded “No, Bobby, you’ve never been

boring. You’re still cute.” Bob was asked: “If you could have anything you want, what would it be?”

He didn’t hesitate in his answer: “For Joan to have her memory back so she could remember all our good

times together.”

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Their respect, honor and love for each other is evident after over 70 years together building a modest life,

working and raising 13 children. Even their failing health has not separated them. They raised their

children to be caring, attentive and loving to them and each other; and, now they are blessed to enjoy the

love of their family. And, they are blessed to live in an environment at Maria Manor where they receive

holistic care to meet their total needs – body, mind and spirit – in a loving way.

The Love Story continues…

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Written by: Earline K. Piscitelli

April, 2014

Contributors: Joan and Bob Bolio

Craig Bolio

Deborah Ann Bolio