Change for The Better

In my previous entry, I mentioned my expectations as a newly turned vampire 18-year-old gal. And I also
said that there was nothing exciting going on in my life, since I don’t get to go out as often as I would like
with my friends. As I was thinking earlier today, I kind of got this idea that I had the means of making life
more fun if I just changed myself. I need to be a better person first before anything else. Here are some
things I thought my parents would want to change in me:

1. Have more initiative (to do house chores)

2. Do my work faster
3. The time I wake up in the morning (It’s usually 8a.m., but it’s getting a bit later!)
4. Learn how to cook main dishes
5. Develop a liking to cleaning up the dirtiest places in the house (eek!)

So let me break down the reasons why I’m having a hard time making these things happen.

There are numerous distractions at home, from the TV to my working area (a.k.a. my table). I can think
of hundreds of things I could do with my time everyday, excluding the chores, so now, I’m having a bit of
a crisis as to which I should prioritize and do first. I know, call me childish and tell me to grow up all you
want, but the transition is hard. I grew up always having someone to follow my lead. When I played with
my toys, I had someone to clean them up for me. I always had a yaya (someone who takes care of you
when you’re a kid and your parents are just so busy), and when one leaves, she gets replaced by
someone else. The only thing I found difficult those times was adjusting to the rules of the new yaya. So
it is kind of reasonable for me to quit being spoiled and prioritizing what I want to do, isn’t it? I need
time to grow up! I can’t just become someone else overnight. I even consider my little brother lucky,
having no one to give way to his every groan. He knows a lot more in cooking stuff than I do.

So about having initiative – I have it, but it’s just not that dominant yet. When I do feel up and energetic,
I get all the chores at home done before mom arrives from work in the afternoon. And I do them pretty
well too. I guess what I really need is more DETERMINATION. Yes, I think that’s the right word.

My second sought for change (doing my work faster) is a bit more negotiable. I am at fault for being
such a slow poke in doing the laundry and the dishes. Usually, when I know that I’ll be in the kitchen for
a long time, I take my cell phone with me and listen to music. The problem is, when I hear a song I
REALLY like, I stop what I’m doing and sing along. So if I normally do the dishes for 5 minutes, it becomes
at least 10 minutes or maybe even 20. It’s the same with doing the laundry. Together with my IPOD, I go
to the bathroom and start dancing to upbeat music, while the washing machine spins the clothes.
There’s no doubt that this area is really my fault.

The third one is a more serious change that I need to make. Every night, after I’ve put my brother to
sleep, I resume the house chores and wait for mom and dad to get back home. The when they do, I join
them as they eat and we talk about the things that have happened throughout the day. That lasts for
more than an hour. And by the time we hit the sack, it’s already 1 in the morning. SO tell me, how can I
wake up as early as 8 o’clock if I sleep at 1am? And it’s not a straight slumber. I get up at night to go to
the bathroom and because I feel hot. It’s a challenge.

This is not something I can just ignore. I’ve read from the newspapers and the internet that in order to
be healthy, one must sleep at the proper time (by 9pm). This will ensure that the body will be able to
digest the food and do what it has to as we sleep. Well, I think I can do something about this sleeping
issue after all. And my first responsibility: get rid of my will to watch TV ‘til daybreak and focus on
sleeping alone. There, that should do it.

Anyone who has seen me knows that my mom cooks really great food, and the whole family can never
get tired of her cooking. She has this special ability to transform ordinary meals into really scrumptious
ones, and those who have tasted her masterpieces have become awestruck. Which gets me down to the
fourth necessary change on my list – learn how to do serious cooking.

But I’m not all helpless and ignorant you know. I can cook both meat and beef steaks, tinola, and
another dish whose name I can’t recall. I can function well around the kitchen too, and whenever only JP
and I are at home (which is often), I take out one of the canned goods in our food cabinet and cook it. So
you see, I’m not such a dunce in the kitchen.

The problem is, those dishes are the only ones I know so far, and I’m already 18 years old! Heck! I mean,
I seriously know a few younger teens who can cook really grand meals, and it doesn’t make me look
good in front of some grownups. (Are you an adult reading this? If so, please do not, I pray, do not judge
me for this. Well, just not harshly anyway.) How awesome would it be for me to suddenly know a LOT
about cooking and make my mom proud of me in that field? What wouldn’t I give to get some culinary
knowledge?

The only solution I can think of right now is to take the time to watch mom cook and write everything,
the steps and ingredients, down on paper. It may seem to be a lot of work at first, but I doubt that the
results of my effort won’t be too bad. After all, what can you NOT do with determination, faith, and a
great plan?

Finally, we’re down to my last needed transformation – to develop a likeness in cleaning up soot,
cobwebs, dusty places and anywhere icky. To be honest, I don’t think I’ll EVER get over this ‘fear’ of
mine. Just the sight of those black corners of the room turns my stomach upside down. I find those spots
extremely repulsive.

I can’t even begin to imagine my hands touching those places! I’d rather clean up our entire kitchen than
a floor covered with grime. Really. I don’t know how moms do it. When they say clean up, they really
mean it! Moms get down on their knees and don’t seem to get grossed out as they scrape every bit of
dirt from the floor or wall. How do they do it? HOW DO YOU DO IT MOMS? I’d be really happy if you
guys just came down to our place and gave me a brief training on how to feel comfortable with cleaning
stuff. Let’s call it Clean Up 101.
Maybe my body’s just waiting for my mind to confirm that it’s okay with dirt. But heck, it won’t be
anytime soon.