If I was a woman here’s some of the stuff I would do.

I would wear stilettoes to office and run across marble floors to catch a lift: This is
such a totally cool act to perform. It’s there in mostly every Hollywood movie and I
would be so good at doing it. Of course once you get into the lift flushed and
perspiring slightly all the guys there are in seventh heaven trying to pretend they are
looking at everything but you.

I would apply lipstick in the car just before a meeting: What do men do before a
meeting? Nothing. They have nothing to do except maybe comb their moustache in
a creepy manner. Women. Now there’s something. They can comb their hair, spray
a little perfume and apply lipstick looking at the rear view mirror.

I would wear those lovely sheer white working shirts. They have them on the rack in
Marks and Spencers. I don’t know how the science exactly works but there are
different levels of transparency. I would pick the one where there was a hint of my
black lace underwired innerwear showing through.

I would smell nice all the time. Probably Versace on Mondays. Prada on Tuesdays.
And a night perfume like Poison or Opium on Wednesday at work just to screw with
my boss’s mind!

I would paint all my fingernails different colours. Actually all would be red but one of
them blue. Or all pink and one green. And did I mention that I would always wear
mismatched earrings.