You have just spent your school holiday in Malacca.

Use the short note below, write a letter to your

friend overseas about your holiday in Malacca.

Historical Sites Mahkota Parade

 Visited A Famosa  large shopping complex

 Bought souvenirs  watched movie in cineplex

Crocodile Farm A Famosa Water World

 saw many species of crocodiles  enjoyed water games

 watched crocodile-feeding sessions  picnic

Lot 1305,
Taman Perdana,
Jalan Bakawali,
98000 Miri,
Sarawak.

Dear Margaret,

Hey! How are you recently? I had received your letter last week. You said you had joined a
english essay competition which was organised by your school, and you won the champion!
Congratulation! You did a great job! I'm sure that your parents should be proud of you. Besides,
sorry for the late reply. Because I have just spent my school holiday in Malacca with my lovely
family. So, let's talk about my trip in Malacca.

On the first day of my trip in Malacca, we went to the historical sites of Malacca, A Famosa.
We bought some souvenirs there, we have also take photographs there. After visited A Famosa, we
went to visit the crocodile farm. The way to go to crocodile farm was very bumpy and need 2 hours
to reach there. But we chat happily with each others so we don't feel tired on the way to crocodile
farm. I saw many species of crocodiles there, it's really interesting! It helped me to exhanced my
knowledge. We have also watched crocodile-feeding sessions. I wish that you can watched with me
because it's really horrible that many crocodiles get their food together!

On the next day, we went to Mahkota Parade, which is a large shopping complex and very
famous in Malacca. There sell so many things that worth to buy it. The price is so cheap the the
things is beautiful with creative. We have also watch movie in the cineplex which is situated in the
Mahkota Parade. It had a very large movie screen and it's really comfortable to watch a movie there.
After that, we have rest for a while in our hotel and went to the A Famosa Water World which is near
by our hotel. We enjoyed water games and had a picnic there. It's so fun!

We went back to miri on the next day. I had a really sweet memories during the trip. I'm so
regret about didn't take photographs when visited the crocodile farm. I've forgot about it. So, that's
all about my school holiday. How about you? How do you spent your school holiday? I'm really
interested to know about it. Anyways, wish you all the best and have a healthy body. Don't forget to
bring my wish to your parents too. Wait for your reply. God bless.

Your faithfully,
Victoria.
CORRECTED VERSION
Essay (words in red indicate corrections, words Comments
in blue indicate suggestions)
Lot 1305,
Taman Perdana,
Jalan Bakawali,
98000 Miri,
Sarawak.
15 September 20121 Write the date.
1

Dear Margaret, 2
If ‘had received’ are
Hey! How are you recently? I hope you and your family used, the time is not
are in the pink. My family and I are as fit as a stated. “I had/have
fiddle. I had2 received your letter last week. You said you had received your letter.”
joined participated in an English Essay Competition which was
organised by your school and you won were the champion!
Congratulations! You did a great job! I'm sure that your
parents should would be proud of you. Besides, sorry for the late
reply.This is because I have just spent my school holiday in
Malacca with my lovely family. So, let's talk about my trip in
Malacca.

On the first day of my trip in Malacca, we went to the 3

The verb following
historical sites of Malacca, A Famosa. We bought some souvenirs "have/has/had” must be
there. We have also taken3 photographs there. written in the participle
Aftervisited visiting A Famosa, we went to visit the crocodile tense form. For
farm. The way to go to the crocodile farm was very bumpy example,have taken,
and need it took us 2 twohours to reach there. But we have eaten, have
chatted happily with each others other so we don't feel tired on written, have watched,
the way to the crocodile farm. I saw many species of crocodiles etc.
there. it's It was really interesting! It helped me
to exhanced enhancemy knowledge. We have also
watched thecrocodile-feeding sessions. I wish that you can
watched4 could watch the session with me because it's it
was really horrible that to seemany crocodiles getting their food 4
”could” is the past tense
together! for “can”. The verb
following can/could must
On The next day, we went to Mahkota Parade which is a be the root word.
large shopping complex and very famous in Malacca.
There are sell so many things in Mahkota Parade that are
worth to buy it buying. The price is so * Avoid joining many
cheap and the thethings is are beautiful. with creative. Some ideas in a sentence.
things are creatively made. We have also watched a movie in
the cineplex which is situated in the Mahkota Parade.
It had has a very large movie screen and it's it was really
comfortable to watch a movie there. After that, we have had
a rest for a while in our hotel. Next, we and went to the A
Famosa Water World which is located nearby our hotel. We
enjoyed water games and had a picnic there.It's It was so
fun! We had a whale of a time in Malacca.

We went back to Miri on the next day. Ihad a

really really had a lot of sweet memories during the trip. I'm
so regret about didn't takenot taking photographs when I visited
the crocodile farm. I've forgot about it. So, that's all about my
school holiday. How about you? How do you spent spend your
school holiday? I'm really interested to know about
it. AnywaysAnyway, I wish you all the best. And May youhave a
healthy body. Don't forget to bringsend my best wishes to your
parents too. I hope that you’ll Wait for your reply soon. MayGod
bless you. Let me pen off here. Bye.

Yours faithfully sincerely,

Victoria

Yours faithfully is used

when writing a formal
letter.

Band / Mark C - 12