Thursday, 26 November 2009 - Nº 465

Guaraní
News

Paraguay’s First and

Only English Magazine
 CONTENTS COVER
TOMORROW
Friday, 27 November - Stranger’s Club Luncheon
Thursday,
26 November 2009
Guaraní
Paraguay’s First and
From the Editor 2 Nº 465 News Only English Magazine
From the Publisher 2
From the Editor
People in the News – Coming Events 3
Church Notices 5 Beats a Beautyrest innersprings
The Humour Corner From the Publisher
By Eduardo “Teddy” Abello 5 Just in time…
Some of my readers must have been gifted with some sort of mental
HM Ambassador’s Speech delivered during Paraguayan- telepathy for they seem to know just when I cannot find any worthy
British Chamber of Commerce 20th Anniversary Dinner 6 news. My thanks this week goes to our dear friend Joe South in the
U.K. who sent the following story by stating: “I thought that you
FREE Movies in Spanish 7 might like the following small piece of our fascinating history. The
MAIL BAG 7 origin of our English expression, ‘It’s cold enough to freeze the balls
off a brass monkey!’ Best, Joe”
Guaraní News Pictorial 8/10 Cannon balls - Did you know this?
It was necessary to keep a good supply of cannon balls near the
GUARANI News cannon on old war ships. But how to prevent them from rolling about
Founded in Asunción 21 October 1982 the deck was the problem. The storage method devised was to stack
Depósito Legal Ley Nº 9.289 them as a square based pyramid, with one ball on top, resting on four,
Publisher/Editor: Norman M. Langer resting on nine, which rested on sixteen
c/o The Conqueror Group Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area
O’Leary 610 c/Gral. Diaz right next to the cannon. There was only one problem — how to
Asunción - Paraguay
prevent the bottom layer from sliding / rolling from under the others
Our Cellular for International calls: +(595-991) 724-217
For local calls in Paraguay 0991-724-217 The solution was a metal plate with 16 round indentations, called,
E-Mail: stranger@highway.com.py for reasons unknown, a Monkey. But if this plate were made of iron,
ALTERNATIVE: guaraninews@click.com.py the iron balls would quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting
problem was to make them of brass - hence, Brass Monkeys
All rights reserved. No part of GUARANI NEWS may be reproduced without permission from the Publisher. Opinions
expressed by named authors do not necessarily coincide with those of the Editor. Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much
The Editor will review any submission; however no responsibility is assumed for materials submitted. If you wish to be
removed from our listing, send E-mail to stranger@highway.com.py with the title REMOVE and accept our apologies faster than iron when chilled.
2 GUARANI News - Thursday, 26 November 2009
 Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass in- PEOPLE in the NEWS – COMING EVENTS
dentations would shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would BIRTHDAYS - NOVEMBER
come right off the monkey 29 NEUENDORFF, Alexander
Thus, it was quite literally, cold enough to freeze the balls off a DECEMBER
brass monkey. And all this time, folks thought that was just a vulgar O3 GARCIA REY, Angel
expression? 06 BERKEMEYER de ROBLES, Inés - RAMIREZ, Dr. Lauro
13 SOUTH, Joe
Gotcha… 14 GOLDING MACHADO, Richard
Then there are those who take time off to send me the odd joke. 18 MARTIN, Antonio
Readers will find what I mean if they turn down to our Mail Bag. 27 SISUL, Dr. Juan Carlos
Here is wishing one and all a most enjoyable day 27 FITZGIBBON, Maria

P.O.B. 13061 - Py-1749 - Asunción - Py

Hotel Westfalenhaus Tel. (00595 -21) 292-374 - Fax (00595 - 21) 291-241
Sgto. 1º M. Benítez 1577 - Asunción E-Mail: Hotel@Westfalenhaus.com
3 GUARANI News - Thursday, 26 November 2009 Web: www.westfalenhaus.com www.paraguay-travel.de
httpt://www.paraguay-restaurant.de
LUNCHEONS
TOMORROW - FRIDAY, 27 November 2009
Chile’s Ambassador to speak at Stranger’s Club
The Stranger’s Club Asuncion are pleased to announce that their
luncheon Nº 374 will be held TOMORROW - FRIDAY, 27th No-
vember 2009 at “The Conqueror Group” Bldg. It is located at O’Leary
610 at corner of Gral. Diaz. There is ample parking in the building
next door on O’Leary –Heliport Bldg or 100 metres up the road at
Asunción Centre.
The event will be chaired by the Club’s Honorary President HE Dido
Florentin Bogado whilst the Club Founder, Norman M. Langer
will act as Master of Ceremonies.
The Guest Speaker on this occasion will be HE Cristian Maquieira
Astaburuaga, Ambassador of the Republic of Chile.
Members Gs. 60,000. Non-Members Gs. 90,000. (Soft drinks and
wines during the meal are included).
Cocktail time will run from 12.15pm to 1pm when a delicious gour-
met’s three-course meal will be punctually served.
We are limited insofar as seating accommodation, so you are requested
to confirm NOT LATER THAN THURSDAY BEFORE 4pm by
Intend visiting Asunción?
You’ll find all the comforts by staying at the
CHACO HOTEL
Caballero corner Mcal. Estigarribia
Tel. (595-021) 443.527 - 492.066
E-Mail: info@hotelchaco.com.py
4 GUARANI News - Thursday, 26 November 2009
E-mail (preferably) stranger@highway.com.py or the Club’s Secre-
tariat: 451.196 / 97 / 98. Fax: 451.199. Received confirmations, not
mentioned above, include: HE Emanuel Jenni, Ambassador of Swit-
zerland; Monsignor Amoury Medina Blanco; Ivan Ivanissevich,
Minister Argentine Embassy; Alexander Neuendorff, Past Chair-
man; John Helmfelt, Honorary Treasurer; Hans-Atle Bothun; Viggo
and Elizabeth Friling; Architect Guillermo Hellmers; FIFA repre-
sentative Guillermo Alonso; Bengt Jackloo; Ammie Jackloo; Janine
Patterson, Chairman Dervish Publications; Héctor Sosa Gennaro,
Honorary Secretary Paraguayan Academy of Military History and
Geography; Bertheran Argaña Contreras - Fiscal Civil en Luque;
Carola Chytil, Honorary Vice Consul of Czech Republic; William
Curry; Judge María Antonia Gwynn; Oscar Birks, Chairman
InterExpress Travel; Roberto Craig, Shipping agent; Guido Langer,
Software consultant, Uwe Becker and his guest Karl Heinz Kerner;
Herbert and Inge Weise; Margarita du Guernier and her guest
Sofia Meire; José de Jesús Bogarín, Chairman CAPECO; Eng.
Erwin Vargas Peña; Henry Bergerón and his guest Guy de
Lombares; Rubén Falcón, former General Manager Central Bank;
Divina Ayala; Eng. Ludwig Basler and Nicole Siebert.
SATURDAY, 5th December
BCC’s (British Community Council) CHRISTMAS DINNER
The BCC’s Christmas dinner is to be held on Saturday, December
5th at the Anglo premises on Juan de Salazar 391 c/San Jose at 8.30pm.
Dinner including all soft drinks and live music Gs. 50.000 till Thurs-
day 3rd. Call: John Helmfelt 0991-330.132 –Peter Logan 0971-
215.273 – Lorna Tervit (CAP) 225.525.
Tickets bought day before or at the door cost Gs. 60.000
There will be very good door prizes and a bar service with the tradi-
tionally low BCC prices.
 CHURCH NOTICES
ST. ANDREW’S ANGLICAN CHURCH - Avda. España 1357 (near
corner of General Santos).
For further information, contact the Diocesan Office Tel. 200-933.
CATHOLIC MASS in ENGLISH – Held at the Missionary Oblates
of Mary Immaculate (Misioneros Oblatos de Maria Inmaculada). The
address is Quesada between Molas and MacArthur. Mass starts at
11:00 am on Sundays.
To check English Mass timetable call: 371-056 or 390-907.
The priest is Father Ranulfo Veron, C.S.S.R
Dr. Nuria Lezcano de Beekhof
Dentist
Dental Prosthesis - Implants - Gum infections
Oral rehabilitation
O’Higgins corner Del Maestro
Edif. Galenos - 3rd Floor (Villa Morra)
Call for appointment: 611.798 or 614.985
Direct: 614.920
E-Mail: wijbeek@tigo.com.py
5 GUARANI News - Thursday, 26 November 2009
The Humour Corner
By Eduardo “Teddy” Abello
For all Who Work With Rude Customers, shame WE can’t actu-
ally do this!
An award should go to the Virgin Airlines desk attendant in Sydney
some months ago for being smart and funny, while making her point,
when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as
cargo.
A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin’s 767s had been
withdrawn from service. A single attendant was re-booking a long
line of inconvenienced travellers.
Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped
his ticket down on the counter and said, ‘I HAVE to be on this flight
and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS’.
The attendant replied, ‘I’m sorry, sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you,
but I’ve got to help these people first, and I’m sure we’ll be able to
work something out.’
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passen-
gers behind him could hear, ‘DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I
AM?’
Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public ad-
dress microphone: ‘May I have your attention please, may I have
your attention please,’ she began - her voice heard clearly through-
out the terminal. ‘We have a passenger here at Desk 14 WHO DOES
NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity,
please come to Desk 14.’
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared
at the Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said, ‘F... You!’
Without flinching, she smiled and said, (I love this bit) ‘I’m sorry,
sir, but you’ll have to get in line for that too.
 HM Ambassador’s Speech delivered during
Paraguayan-British Chamber of Commerce
20th Anniversary Dinner
CLIMATE CHANGE
(Final)
Faltan menos de dos meses para la reunión de Copenhague, definida
como instancia clave para hallar una solución al cambio climático.
En 2012 vence el Protocolo de Kyoto, la respuesta de la comunidad
internacional a este problema. La reunión de Copenhague es nuestra
6 GUARANI News - Thursday, 26 November 2009
oportunidad para lograr que el instrumento que lo reemplace permita
alcanzar nuestros objetivos en materia de cambio climático. Las
condiciones para hacerlo están dadas: el Presidente de los Estados
Unidos está convencido de la prioridad del tema, grandes emisores
como China, India y México lo han declarado como prioridad
nacional, y los científicos dicen que aun no es demasiado tarde para
actuar.
No es un tema para negociar a nivel internacional, Si lo fuera, se
habría alcanzado un acuerdo global hace mucho tiempo. Combatir
el cambio climático, sin duda plantea verdaderos desafíos a la ac-
tual estructura de nuestras economías. Además, nos toca actuar en
un contexto de recesión global. Sería fácil decir que es un problema
para las generaciones futuras, que no tenemos tiempo de resolver
ahora.
Pero el cambio climático es importante, y requiere acción urgente.
La inacción nos costará caro. Y la buena noticia es que al efectuar
cambios, posiblemente generaremos nuevas oportunidades para el
futuro. Oportunidades que pueden impulsar el creci-miento
económico, promover el desarrollo social, y crear puestos de trabajo.
Y esto me lleva a señalar el papel fundamental que pueden
desempeñar ustedes, a la hora de difundir estos temas dentro del
Paraguay. El cambio climático se convirtió en prioridad en el Reino
Unido porque se aceptó por consenso a nivel nacional que el tema es
demasiado importante para ser desatendido. El público está
convencido de que hay que actuar, los políticos saben que deben
desarrollar una respuesta a este problema, y los medios y la sociedad
civil han encabezado el debate sobre la forma de lograrlo. El sector
privado desempeñó un papel clave, no sólo por el hecho de resaltar
que se trata de una oportunidad, y no sólo de una amenaza, sino
también por asesorar al gobierno, sobre la forma más eficaz de
abordar el problema. Un tema que al principio parecía muy difícil
de manejar, ahora ya lo entiende la gran mayoría de la población.
Ha sido un gusto dirigirme a ustedes esta noche. Espero que puedan
respaldar estos mensajes, antes de Copenhague y después de la
reunión. No es demasiado tarde para tomar medidas y además, al
actuar, estaremos aprovechando una oportunidad más que reaccionar
ante una amenaza.
Tienen ustedes un país maravilloso –
hay que cuidarlo para el futuro.
7 GUARANI News - Thursday, 26 November 2009
FREE MOVIE IN SPANISH
TONIGHT - THURSDAY, 26 November 2009 – 8 p.m.
Argentine Cultural Theatre
Argentine Embassy – Perú Ave. corner España Ave.
GARAGE OLIMPO Apta para mayores de 16 años
Dirección: Marco Becáis
Intérpretes: Adrián Fondari y Antonella Costa
Sinopsis: La película de Marco Bechis es muy dura. Está ambientada
durante los primeros años de la dictadura, cuando los tristemente
célebres grupos de tareas eran amos y señores de las calles del país.
El film narra la odisea de María (Antonella Costa)j, una chica que
ocupa parte de su tiempo en tareas de alfabetización en las villas de
emergencia. A poco de comenzar es secuestrada por un grupo de
tareas y da con sus huesos en el centro clandestino de detención
Garage Olimpo. Con el tiempo, y en medio de la locura que supone
la situación, María intimará con Félix (Carlos Echevarría), uno de
los verdugos que, casualmente, alquilaba una habitación en casa de
la madre de la chica. El torturador la llegará a “querer” a su manera,
sin dejar de subordinarse a la barbarie imperante, con lo que el ro-
mance cuaja dentro del esquema trágico del relato.
MAIL BAG
Hello Mr. Langer
I enjoy GUARANI NEWS every time I can spot it out of the incom-
ing emails.
It’s interesting, I do like the way it is written with that sometimes
spicy ironic touch and it takes me back to the moments I have spend
in good company with you and the fellow “Strangers”.
So, here goes a contribution to the humour section...
Auf Wiedersehen
Francisco Schubeius
 GUARANI NEWS PICTORIAL
THE OLD COWBOY Paraguayan Academy of Military History and Geography
Ya think you have lived to be old enough and know who you are, then
along comes someone and blows it all to hell... On Monday, 16 November 2009 the Academy of Military History
An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of cof- and Geography of Paraguay held a special ceremony in the Hall of
fee. the Permanent Arbitral Tribunal of the Mercosur in order to present a
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. posthumous diploma naming as an Honorary Academician the former
She turned to the cowboy and asked, ‘Are you a real cowboy?’ USA President General Rutherford Hayes and to name Paraguayan
He replied, ‘Well, I’ve spent my whole life breaking colts, working Ambassador HE Dr. Julia Velilla Laconich as a Member Academi-
cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doc- cian.
toring calves, cleaning my barn, working on tractors, and feeding my
dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.’
She said, ‘I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked
women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked
women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch
TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think
of naked women.’
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cow-
boy and asked, ‘Are you a real cowboy?’
He replied, ‘I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a les-

(Photo N.M. Langer)

bian!’

Your Advertisement here

for 1 YEAR (52 issues) : 200 Euros
Call:
Col. Patrick E. Mathes (left), USA Defence and Military Attaché
Norman M. Langer seen receiving the Diploma bestowed on President Rutherford Hayes
0991-724-217 by Public Notary Juan José Benítez Rickmann, President of the
Paraguayan Academy of Military History and Geography.
8 GUARANI News - Thursday, 26 November 2009
 Paraguayan Academy of Military History and Geography British Community Christmas Party, 2009

The BCC wishes you a very Merry Christmas and invites you
to the annual Christmas dinner to be held on Saturday the 5th.
of December at the ANGLO

ÿHelp
þ ý ü úusù øcelebrate
þ ý þ ÷ ö õ ô þ ôthe
ó þ öreason
þ õ ù ò ñ for
ðòö
ô óthe
þ ÿHoliday
ò ý õ þ õ ùSeason.
òñ
ýPlease
þ õ ù þ ò join
ñ ú ùus ð òfor
ö
òò òò òò ñ þ
Good Food, Good Wine,
÷ ú ô ò ù ô ò ð õ ýý ò ò ö þñ ù
but most of all, Good Friends
Join in the dancing!
Have a delicious Turkey Dinner
Mince pies with ice cream

Tickets: Gs. 50,000 including soft drinks.

Children
ÿ þ ý ü û ú ù ø öunder
ù õ ô óô ô12:
ô þ òGs.
ý ñ ð ï30,000
þ ò î ù í ì ú ï ë þò ü ù ó
For ticket informationôplease
þ ñ ï ë û ò ð ò ï û ë ø ö ù ô óô ô contact:
í ë ú þ ý ü û ú þ ò ì í ë ú þí ò ñ û ù û ý í ò ú ý ú ø
þ ï ñ ï í ý ü David ô Baldock 0981-464.129
í ë ò ÿ û ë þ ú Lorna ô Tervit õ í ë ò î ñí0981-491.563
õõ õ or Anglo 225.525
Ambassador HE Dr. Julia Velilla Laconich (left) seen receiving the û úûë í î ò ô õ
í ò û ñ ì û ñ ú Peter Logan ô ô 0971-215.273
Diploma naming her as “Académica de Número” of the Paraguayan John Helmfelt 0991-330.132
Academy of Military History and Geography by Public Notary Juan
José Benítez Rickman, the Academy’s President. There will be door prizes, make sure you
(Photo N.M. Langer) óþöþ ý ý ÷ þ ò ò ö ücollect
ö þ ù õþ ùyour
ú ö þ ò úticket
ø ò ý ý þ ø ôat
ò úthe
ö ô øþdoor.
ô õ ô ôó þ õ ô ôó þ
òòö

9 GUARANI News - Thursday, 26 November 2009

 GUARANI NEWS PICTORIAL
PIANO CONCERT
On Saturday, 21 November 2009 the Swiss Ambassador HE Emanuel More from the Stranger’s Club Luncheon held at the
Jenni and Liselotte Peng hosted a piano concert in their residence for Conqueror Group on Thursday, 12 November.
the young Swiss-Paraguayan pianist Eitel Johannes Krohn Burgos
prior to his departure to Kansas (USA) University where he will
continue his musical studies.
The concert opened with Bolero Nº 5 by Moritz Moszkowsky (a 4-
hand piece performed by the young pianist accompanied by Ambas-
sador Jenni) and then pieces by Chopin, Liszt, Skriábin and Jorge
Lobito Martinez.

From L. to r.: Janine Patterson, Chairman Dervish Publications;

John Helmfelt, Honorary Treasurer; Teófilo Stegens;
Rodrigo Wood, Chairman CAP and Peter Logan.

From L. to r.: Weijbe Beekhof; Eng. Ludwig Basler;

From L. to r.: Eitel Krohn, father of the artist; the hosts Liselotte Hans-Atle Bothun and Elizabeth Friling.
Peng and HE Emanuel Jenni, Ambassador of (Missing - Viggo Friling, out having a smoke...)
Switzerland, the young Swiss-Paraguayan pianist
Eitel Johannes Krohn Burgos. (Photos N.M. Langer)

10 GUARANI News - Thursday, 26 November 2009