RTL2 Lit Review + Data Protocol

GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

26
T he literature review hints at some interesting new
models f or using digital technology within the
classroom. T he challenge that was evident in your
literature review is that the topic is very broad. What
your literature review would have benef ited f rom is a
narrowing down to a specif ic area of digital
technology and perhaps the testing of the CSCL

/50 model that you mention in your proposed research

protocol. Written expression needs to ensure
checks f or clarity. T he protocol summary seems
disconnected f rom the actual observation sheet that
you have included. Who will be conducting the
observations? How will these be done? You need to
f ocus more on how you are going to f ind out if the
technology is enhancing the learning. What
actions/behaviours will you anticipate that will show
that students are learning? I would remove the likert
scale and f ocus on noting how many times you
observe students being of f task. T o do this you
need to def ine what is of f task behaviour.

PAGE 1

Strikethrough.

QM Rephrase idea
Focus on the language in this sentence. Reread this section, and then state your ideas in a
clear way so that they make sense to your readers.

QM Rephrase idea
Focus on the language in this sentence. Reread this section, and then state your ideas in a
clear way so that they make sense to your readers.

QM Spelling
You need to run a spell-check on your work and check the spelling of your ref erences caref ully.
You will also need to manually proof -read your work AFT ER you run a spell-check because
sometimes words are auto-corrected incorrectly. Visit the ‘Finishing and submitting’ section of
the Study Smart website
(http://westernsydney.edu.au/studysmart/home/assignment_help/writing) and download the
 resources on Editing
(http://westernsydney.edu.au/__data/assets/pdf _f ile/0005/1082480/Editing.pdf ) and
Proof reading
(http://westernsydney.edu.au/__data/assets/pdf _f ile/0010/1082683/Proof reading.pdf ).

QM Incomplete sentence
T his is not a complete sentence as it has no main verb. Visit the ‘Writing’ section of the Study
Smart website (http://westernsydney.edu.au/studysmart/home/assignment_help/writing) and
download the resource on sentence structure
(http://westernsydney.edu.au/__data/assets/pdf _f ile/0004/1082794/Sentence_Structure.pdf ) to
improve your skills in this area.

QM S/V Agreement
Subject-verb agreement:
Subjects and verbs should match in number and person. Singular subjects require singular
verbs; plural subjects require plural verbs.

QM Sp.
Spelling error

QM Prep.
Incorrect preposition:
Some words must be used together with certain prepositions in order to create the meaning you
intend. For example, to yell "to" someone is dif f erent f rom yelling "at" someone. Some
conf usion results f rom words such as "compare," which usually takes the preposition "to" when
it ref ers to describing the resemblances between things that are not similar, and takes the
preposition "with" when it describes the resemblances between things that are similar.

PAGE 2

QM Use of semi-colon / colon

Semi-colons and colons are both used to signal relationships between chunks of inf ormation;
however, the relationship signalled by each punctuation mark is dif f erent. Colons introduce
explanatory inf ormation or inf ormation that is a restatement of what comes bef ore the colon;
semi-colons introduce additional or contrary inf ormation. Review this inf ormation on colons
(https://en.oxf orddictionaries.com/punctuation/colon) and this inf ormation on semi-colons
(https://en.oxf orddictionaries.com/punctuation/semicolon).

QM Technical ref erencing errors

Getting the hang of ref erencing takes time, but the details are important. A good way to learn is
to notice the dif f erent ways in which the authors of what you read have ref erred to the work of
others in their writing. It is important to always use your ref erencing style guide to check your
work bef ore submitting. Visit the Library website to f ind the correct Ref erencing and Citation
Guide f or the ref erencing style required in your unit:
(http://library.westernsydney.edu.au/main/guides/ref erencing-citation).

PAGE 3
 Comment 2
which are? Please give some more concrete examples to clarif y the "af f ordances" of computer
technology.

Comment 3
good but relate this to your research question and show why this point is relevant.

QM Sp
spelling error

PAGE 4

QM Technical ref erencing errors

Getting the hang of ref erencing takes time, but the details are important. A good way to learn is
to notice the dif f erent ways in which the authors of what you read have ref erred to the work of
others in their writing. It is important to always use your ref erencing style guide to check your
work bef ore submitting. Visit the Library website to f ind the correct Ref erencing and Citation
Guide f or the ref erencing style required in your unit:
(http://library.westernsydney.edu.au/main/guides/ref erencing-citation).

Comment 4
how is the CMS related to student learning and participation. What are some of the challenges
f or students who do not have access to high levels of technology impact on your
thesis/research proposal.

Comment 5
some good points raised but these need to be developed to give a clear reason why f urther
research needs to be undertaken. In other words what is the problem with the way ICT is
currently being used.

PAGE 5

QM Develop paraphrasing
Paraphrasing means writing about another author’s ideas in your own words, and also providing
the ref erencing details of where those ideas come f rom. T his is important to avoid copying
(plagiarism) but also because your reader is interested in your understanding of what the
author is saying. So it is not enough to change a f ew words around; it is about writing what
YOU think the meaning of the original text is and how it f its into your own ideas and writing. You
can f ind good resources on ref erencing, paraphrasing, and other ways of using sources on the
Study Smart website
(http://www.westernsydney.edu.au/studysmart/home/assignment_help/writing) and vUWS site.
Download the resources on Ref erencing and citation, Quoting, Summarising and Paraphrasing
f rom 'Using sources'.

Comment 6
good but you to unpack what this model is and does and what it's relevance is to your main
point. Your main point is not entirely clear. It would have been better to f ocus on what the sub
 tasks are and how these help students to "learn what they want to know"

QM Move beyond a summary

In argumentative essays, you must do more than summarize the source(s) or give an opinion.
Def end your position by explaining how the evidence you chose supports your claim.

QM Example Needed
Example needed. For an argument to be convincing you need to provide relevant examples that
illustrate your main point and expand on your claims

PAGE 6

Comment 7
T his sentence is very important and needed to be located in your f irst or second paragraph to
contextualise your thesis and make clear the research problem that you are going to
investigate.

PAGE 7

PAGE 8

PAGE 9

PAGE 10

PAGE 11

QM Use of semi-colon / colon

Semi-colons and colons are both used to signal relationships between chunks of inf ormation;
however, the relationship signalled by each punctuation mark is dif f erent. Colons introduce
explanatory inf ormation or inf ormation that is a restatement of what comes bef ore the colon;
semi-colons introduce additional or contrary inf ormation. Review this inf ormation on colons
(https://en.oxf orddictionaries.com/punctuation/colon) and this inf ormation on semi-colons
(https://en.oxf orddictionaries.com/punctuation/semicolon).

Comment 8
good

Comment 9
this part is very unclear

Comment 10
what behaviours will you deem as being engaged or more engaged

PAGE 12
 Comment 11
by who, how?

Comment 12
more on this aspect as I can see this helping you to collect your data

Comment 13
are students observing and commenting on each others use of technology? T his section needs
f urther clarity

PAGE 13
RUBRIC: RTL2 ASSIGNMENT 2 2H20 16

REVIEW Pass

FAIL • Review is not complete or f ails to demonstrate accurate knowledge • Review does
not provide a clear synthesis of the appropriate literature f or the topic

PASS • Review provides mostly complete, explicit, well-substantiated claims, and

demonstrates mostly accurate knowledge • Review provides a mostly clear synthesis
of the appropriate literature f or the topic

CREDIT • Review provides complete, explicit, well-substantiated claims, and demonstrates

accurate knowledge • Review provides a clear synthesis of the appropriate literature
f or the topic

DISTINCTION • Review provides complete, explicit, well-substantiated claims, and demonstrates

advanced knowledge • Review provides an advanced synthesis of the appropriate
literature f or the topic (representing a wide range of reading or analysing seminal
articles)

HIGH DISTINCTION • Review provides complete, explicit, well-substantiated, claims, and demonstrates
sophisticated knowledge • Review provides a sophisticated synthesis of the
appropriate literature f or the topic (representing a wide range of reading or analysing
seminal articles)

PROT OCOL Fail

FAIL • Protocol f ails to demonstrate accurate knowledge of appropriate data collection

procedures or lacks connection to the topic • Explanation is not present, complete, or
f ails to coherently justif y the design • Protocol is not original or modif ied f rom
original source

PASS • Protocol demonstrates mostly accurate knowledge of appropriate data collection

procedures and mostly connects to the topic • Explanation is complete and mostly
justif ies the design • Protocol is original or modif ied f rom original source

CREDIT • Protocol demonstrates accurate knowledge of appropriate data collection

procedures and connects to the topic • Explanation is complete and justif ies the
design • Protocol is original or modif ied f rom original source

DISTINCTION • Protocol demonstrates advanced knowledge of data collection procedures and

connects to the topic • Explanation is complete and justif ies the design,
demonstrating advanced thinking • Protocol is original or modif ied f rom original
source

HIGH DISTINCTION • Protocol demonstrates sophisticated knowledge of data collection procedures and
connects to the topic • Explanation is complete and justif ies the design,
demonstrating sophisticated thinking • Protocol is original or modif ied f rom original
source
WRIT ING Pass

FAIL • Work lacks structure; little evidence paper has been edited; terminology
inappropriate; f requent spelling/ typographic errors. • Poor paraphrasing; over
reliance on quotes; no or inaccurate ref erence list and poor in-text ref erencing; not
submitted to T urnitin or high level of matches.

PASS • Generally clear structure; paper/presentation has introduction, body and conclusion;
developed with student’s voice; sentences coherent and grammatically correct; within
word/time length; some typographic and /or spelling errors. • Generally accurate APA
ref erencing; submitted to T urnitin; originality report detects some insignif icant
matches. Some analysis and voice present but needs improvement.

CREDIT • Well-structured and coherent text; ef f ective grammatical expression; adheres to

word/time length; uses appropriate terminology; minor typographic and /or spelling
errors. • Mostly accurate APA ref erencing; submitted to T urnitin; low percentage f or
originality report. Analysis well developed with student’s voice and supported by
literature and research.

DISTINCTION • Clear and concise structure; strengthened by relevant research; grammar and syntax
well-used; cohesive text within word/time length; discriminating use of appropriate
vocabulary; f ew typographic or spelling errors. • Consistently accurate APA
ref erencing; competent integration of evidence, low percentage f or T urnitin; original
work with insignif icant matches. Ef f ective use of voice and analysis.

HIGH DISTINCTION • Extremely well structured paper or innovative presentation; explicitly identif ies the
key issues; cohesive, grammatically correct structure with impeccable precision; very
f ew typographic or spelling errors. • Consistently accurate APA ref erencing;
competent integration of evidence with highly ef f ective use of voice and analysis,
submitted to T urnitin; original work.