Q.

d) Comment on how film techniques were used in the film you studied to help you Commented [S1]: is portrayed
understand an important aspect of a major character. Commented [S2]: will
Red = errors or consider taking out.
Commented [S3]: the
Blue = parts where you need to rewrite or rethink better. Need to be improved.
Commented [S4]:

Jamal portrays as a person who can do anything for who people he loves because he faces Commented [S5]: Error。 Don’t need this word.
many dangers and is never be frightened or gives up. The film, “Slumdog Millionaire,” Commented [S6]: This sentence is not needed ? You
directed by Danny Boyle who reflects a momentous aspect of the major character Jamal by are just repeating yourself again. Please proofread
your work.
using a variety of cinematic techniques. Jamal is a person who is highly devoted. And his
Commented [S7]: Spelling mistake
persistence is shown by using a variety of the film techniques. These techniques help viwers
to understand Jamal’s personality more deeply, and this is highlighted throughout the film to Commented [S8]: Your introduction needs reworking.
It is repetitive and not finely written.
us.
Commented [S9]: 你写句子的时候 把 main point/ 主要
的 point 放在前面。不要反过来说。 这样不清楚。 比如
Jamal is portrayed his aspect of being as a very devoted man because he only loves Latika 这样写会比较顺。
and he never changes his mind. A scene of Jamal escaped with Latika from Maman shows 还有就是一个句子不要说两个原因。 You said “love of ...
Jamal’s aspect of loyalty. Boyle uses Tracking shots to set off the very precarious situation. Commented [S10]: escaping
Then Jamal is shown as a brave and loyal boy. He is never afraid in a dangerous condition
Commented [S11]: You change your aspect ...
and he always tries to protect whom he loves. While trying to hold Latika’s hand and save
Commented [S12]: tracking. No capital letter.
her, young Jamal shows he is a devoted boy because he does not allow anyone to hurt her
and he never gives up to escape. This relates to Jamal’s bravery and helps us to understand Commented [S13]: Too many short sentences in a ...
his aspect of devotion towards love. After that, we can feel Jamal’s rage at losing Latika Commented [S14]: Who not whom.
through a medium shot and a dialogue with Salim. From his words, “What happened! What Commented [S15]: Are you introducing another new ...
happened!” can be clearly interpreted that Jamal deeply cherishes Latika. This is also Commented [S16]: You are not writing a story, do not...
significant because it foreshadows he will do anything for his love in the story afterwards. By
Commented [S17]: It’s not the words but the ...
using an aerial and a high angle shot to develop our understanding of how cluttered and
risky brothel is. These shots strongly reflect that young Jamal is willing to sacrifice everything Commented [S18]: This word is not needed as you ...
for love. The extremely dangerous environment makes us feel Jamal is courageous and Commented [S19]: This sentence doesn’t make ...
devoted. Jamal has been portrayed as being a person who will do anything for love and his Commented [S20]: The extremely dangerous ...
aspect of faithfulness is highlighted clearly to us through this scene of finding Latika. Commented [S21]: Your sentences keep repeating. ...
Commented [S22]: Not a good topic sentence. ...
Jamal is proven as a persistent person due to sacrificing anything for his loves. This is
Commented [S23]: close-up
shown through an extreme close- up shot which plays a key role when Jamal finds Latika at
the train station. Jamal shows his aspects of insistence. These can be shown while he runs Commented [S24]: Overly short sentence. I know I ...
out from the crowds to save Latika in the train station. Jamal is very determined and Commented [S25]: crowd
persistent to save Latika as he is running under pan movement shots and tracking shots, Commented [S26]: Do not use the SAME adjectives ...
because these techniques can clarify Jamal’s valor and make us feel his aspect of Commented [S27]: Consider re-writing. Awkward ...
persistence. Also, this discusses back to he can do anything for love. By using medium
Commented [S28]: Awkward sentence. Consider : ...
shots frequently in the scene of Javad’s house help us to understand Jamal’s and Latika’s
Commented [S29]: 句子又反了。In the scene of ...
subtle emotions. Particularly, we can also feel Jamal’s aspect of persistence from these film
shots when Latika wants Jamal to forget her. However, determined Jamal insists to stay and Commented [S30]: Don’t need too many adjectives for...
promises that he can do anything for her. This is extremely vital because Boyle points out Commented [S31]: on staying
the Jamal main aspect of persistence. Through these shots and dialogues, the viewers can Commented [S32]: Too much repetition
understand that Jamal is very insistent and he really can do anything for what he loves. Also,
Commented [S33]: Don’t need “can”
I believe Jamal is an insistent person due to he dares to break into gangster Javad’s house
Commented [S34]: ? Changed keyword again.
and even to be as a slumdog to join a knowledge quiz show for people he loves.
Commented [S35]: Don’t put own opinion. ...
In conclusion, Danny Boyle has used various kinds of cinematic techniques in the film Commented [S36]: Repetitive segment. Do not need
“Slumdog Millionaire” to illustrate and make us to understand Jamal’s aspects of devotion Commented [S37]: Don’t need repetition.
and persistence towards love. All wide varieties of film techniques such as camera angle Commented [S38]: Repetitive. Either ALL or WIDE.
shots, editing paces and dialogues are effective in presenting Jamal is a loyal and insistent Not both words.
person who will do anything for the people he loves. Furthermore, we learn the strong Commented [S39]: as
message portrayed in the film that the supreme power of love can overcome anything under Commented [S40]: Added “the”
the arrangement of destiny. Commented [S41]: Don’t need this part.

Too much repetitive writing. Unclear in many parts. Feels like rambling.