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Running Head: Mating and Dating.: Application Paper: Mating and Dating. Lorena Dávila City University of Seattle
Running Head: Mating and Dating.: Application Paper: Mating and Dating. Lorena Dávila City University of Seattle
Mating and dating has been a common and expected process to happen before two people
decide to get married in our society, these concepts are related because as people go through
them, they live and experience them as phases and were traditionally expected to happen in that
way. Today the three concepts are still present within our society but they are not experienced as
they used to and do not happen as phases of a process and necessarily in that way.
Mating or dating?
The past decade has been marked as a huge one when it comes to changes and acceptance
in relationships and diversity, and as this has been incorporated to our daily living and
interactions, many differences have marked traditions and cultural believes and actions such as
mating.
Mating is a single word that involves different behaviors and social relationships that
people went through before actually marrying or deciding to date another person. Some of the
interactions and behaviors that are part of this concept definition are: courtship and mate
selection. Courtship is defines as a period of time in which two people spend intentional time
together in order to get to know each other with the purpose of later on marry that partner.
(Schwartz, 2012). Mate selection is simply deciding to begin this process with a specific person
that the other feels attracted to or liked by some characteristics of traits of that one person.
Nevertheless, society has experienced a turn in this process and it is less common to see
couples dating or mating before actually getting married or deciding to spend their lives together.
Now a days, people are moving in together after a few weeks of knowing each other or end up
having a ‘one night stand’ as an after party on a random night. Also, it is usual to see couples
Running Head: Mating and Dating.
having children together but not being in a relationship or even having gone through it before.
Today, it seems like there is a disturbance in differentiating both concepts and it has been a mix
of both phases combined into one that has taken place in young people that are seeking for a
partner. Courtship is less seen now, and dating is also not much seen as before, but when it is
present, activities and habits that were traditionally correspondent to dating are not the same
anymore, and people end up breaking up because of the little commitment and respect they have
In the traditional process of dating and mate selection, courtship was a must, religious
beliefs, family, economic status and cultural heritage were very important and a major factor to
look at when choosing a partner and a person to initiate an intimate relationship with. Romantic
love was part of this process too, traditionally people lived the experience based in love and
companionship and a lot of positive feelings were involved into the dating process. Additionally,
intimacy was not part of the dating phase, women were expected to be virgins until they got
married and they would have a submissive role in the relationship, it was common to see
arranged marriages or very young women marrying a much older man because he asked her
In our current society, dating seems to be a part of having fun and taken as a recreational
activity, it is also very common to see people dating from one person to another without any
commitment and sentimental attachments to them. It has now become a way of gaining
popularity and having sex and it is common to see youth bragging about their partners and taking
uncommitted partners - has become a norm on college campuses (Reiber & Garcia, 2010)
Running Head: Mating and Dating.
It is a ‘no strings attached’ relationship in which at least one ask the other to not get emotionally
involved and it is experienced as a casual relation. A research made in December of 2016 shows
that about 95 percent of the American public had their first experience of sexual intercourse
These changes can be due to the different norms, roles and dynamics that have been
taking over the gender roles and modifications of the behaviors that are ascribed to men and
women, the truth is that today most single people are not actively looking for a romantic partner,
they are also not committed and certainly not practicing the traditional dating dictations such as a
the man asking out a woman to the movies or dinner. Equally important is to remark that
traditionally dating was seen as a process leading to a marital partner, getting to know the person
and deciding to stay together was part of the accomplishments of this but now it does not
necessarily lead to marriage and in fact, marriage is not seen as a priority or as an aspiration of
The process and behaviors of the dating have changed but also the partner selection and
establishment of sexual and gender preferences. As part of the evolution in society and diversity,
it is now common and usual to see homosexual partners and to see them developing a
relationship in the same way as heterosexual couples. LGBT communities have taking a lot of
power and popularity among most well developed countries and have been more accepted and
supported than they were during the last century. Like heterosexual couples, most of them date
Lesbians and gays have are allowed to marry now in many different states of a variety of
countries and in some cases they can legally adopt too. They intend to have the same chances
and opportunities as heterosexual couples and look for a partner to share love and support as well
as companionship. They report having different ways of meeting a potential partner and they
have their own and exclusive places in some cases in which they get along with others and have
the chance to gather around and meet someone that matches their needs and what the look for.
Another popular practice that is trending now is the online websites and apps that have
emerged and that are currently used by many. According to some sources, there are 1,400 online
dating sites in North America. (Schwartz, 2012). A few years ago, before the internet and all the
technology that exists now, to have a potential date, the person had to actually meet the person
and see him or her and to arrange a date both people had to be interested and have chemistry for
something else to emerge. Now, by having an electronic device or a computer and access to Wi-
Fi a person can arrange one, two or more dates with a stranger and a never before met person.
The digital age of dating has opened the door to a whole new way and chances fir singles
to Millions of people are joining online website places that work as matching services to set a
date or a conversation and start developing a relationship with someone that is also in that
website and that might be looking for the same encounter than them or at least a similar one.
Among the most popular apps for dating is tinder, which is used by many as a platform to know
people located close to gather information and profiles of people that they might find interested
in based on what they have shared in the site or chosen to show there; single people in here can
actually believe that meeting and asking out someone by this channel might later be a potential
While the ‘hook-up’ practice rises and increases in today’s society and gets more popular
in youths than it ever was, the traditional dating forms seem to be getting erased and becoming
rare to date as people in the past decades did and went through those phases.
everywhere, bombarding us. (Smith, et al, 2017) This has marked a very intense difference in
society’s practices and has influenced many of the traditions and culture among not only well
developed and industrialized countries, but also the regions that are starting to advance and
develop.
It is common to see now many TV commercials, billboards, online and street publicity
containing sexual references or showing men and women as sexual objects, publicity
professionals and people in charge of marketing and campaigns are no longer concerned of using
creative ideas, humorous atmosphere and family friendly resources, instead, they use the human
body and exhibit models or actors to gain attention and popularity among people. These kinds of
behaviors have contributed in the concepts and ideas young people have formed about dating and
mating, the fact that they have access to many websites, and sexualized information and images
has somehow made them believe that a relationship between two people is a casual matter and
In conclusion, mating and dating are very important phases of the human relationships
and previous to marriage, even though marriage has been identified as a not so common and
practiced tradition in today’s society. Both, mating and dating have changed a lot over time
because of the new influence that new practices that have been incorporated to our world;
technology, media, resources, fashion, and innovation. Along with these practices that have
changed life and work, our culture and traditions have changed too, dating is seen and lived in a
Running Head: Mating and Dating.
different way now, the experience of meeting someone and starting to date and go out has been
changing over the years and what was used to see and do some decades ago like going to the
movies or going to drink a milkshake are dates that are no longer seen that much.
Now, people go out to the clubs, drink, have fun and maybe spend the night together and
never see each other again. Dating is very rare to see in couples looking for fun and casual
relationships, they prefer to have spontaneous encounters and meet different people, instead of
staying with only one person and getting committed to themselves and the relationship.
Running Head: Mating and Dating.
References:
Smith, C; Atwood, F & Mcnair, B (2010). The Routledge Companion To Media, Sex and
Sales, N. J. (2015, September). Tinder and the dawn of the “dating apocalypse.” Vanity Fair.
Reiber, C., & Garcia, J. R. (2010). Hooking up: Gender differences, evolution, and pluralistic
Schwartz Mary A., Scott BarBara M., (2012) Marriages and Families Diversity and Change, 7th