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Brian Edwards
Instructor: Malcolm Campbell
UWRT 1104
11/08/2018
The Paradox of Fulfillment: Changing Ourselves to Change the World
There are many complex issues that exist in the world today. When one problem is solved

it is as if there is an even greater one lurking in its shadow. This is something that is also

occurring in all our lives. We each aspire and have a desire for something moreWe each have

aspirations and goals even if those goals are to just keep up the great work. Whether we strive for

change or strive for consistency, either road This carries the burden of having to overcome

problems and learn something new about ourselvesyourself. What if that journey is the key to

solving the greater problems that exist in society and the world at large? Perhaps if we embraced

the hardships and failures as much as the glory and success and faced the adversity that comes

with the lifelong journey of becoming the best version of ourselves self-actualization, then we

would unknowingly allow the world to shine brighter as well.

Everyone is living a different life. Their minds influenced by past experiences, present

conditions, and future endeavors. In the same manner that each of us perceive the world

differently and have our own experiences, there are many ways to achieve self-actualization and

ultimately realize who you are and what you want. There have been psychological studies based

around this idea phenomenon, one of which dates back all the way to the 1960s done by

Ppsychotherapist, Everett L. Shostrom and the Institute of Therapeutic Psychology. He They

describes the self-actualized person as someone who can, “tie the past and the future to the

present in meaningful continuity.” Often there are people that argue that they cannot be

successful in something they are pursuing or once pursued due to their circumstances. They
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believe that they were not born with the right talents or maybe they have just failed so many

times that it just seems like an exercise in futility to even try anymore. It is very true that all of us

have different lives and different ways of going about them, as I stated earlier. However, the key

is not becoming a slave to the events of the past. First and foremost, even those that seem to have

a high aptitude naturally for their field or fields had to put in a considerable amount of work to

achieve that which they set out to achieve. The deck is stacked against us all in different ways,

and no one has reached success without deep introspection, dreaming, and calculating. The past

is meant as a reflection point and not a dwelling point. Thinking about what can be done better

instead of simply wallowing in that instance of failure can propel you closer to your desired

results.

Psychiatrist, Carl Jung talks about this topic of understanding more about one’s psyche in

his book titled, The Undiscovered Self “The Undiscovered Self”. He pinpoints a different

terminology called self-knowledge that states that we interact with our the mind and the body in

a similar fashion. behave similarly in that Aalthough it is something that we live in and use daily,

with it is something that we have very little profound knowledge of if the proper research has not

been done prior. What this shows is that if the proper precautions are not taken to assess the

situation at hand, people’s perspectives are often based upon a spontaneous reaction to the things

that are presented to them. That is when people begin to take on the futile exercise of searching

for answers outside of themselves instead of facing the truth about themselves or past events.

The simple difference between people that have reached the point of self-actualization in

their life and those that are still wandering is mindset.

A writer and columnist, Pagan Kennedy, wrote an article for the New York Times

chronicling the life of novelist, William Styron and his battle with depression during a time
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where there was a harsh stigma attached to such a mental illness. William Styron was labeled by

brain scientist, Alice Flaherty as “the great god of depression” due to his deep level of insight

into depression. His book, Darkness Visible, “Darkness Visible” became required reading in

some medical schools and inspired others to write about their experiences with depressions and

other related mental issues in a time where people that were diagnosed with depression were

seen as “pathetic and even dangerous”. Before dying of cancer in 2006, he Styron had one final

message for everyone:,

“Everyone must keep up the struggle, for it is always likely that you will win the battle

and nearly a certainty you will win the war. To all of you, sufferers and nonsufferers alike, I send

my abiding love.”

William Styron is an example of an interesting paradox in fulfillment. That someone who

is depressed can have a high understanding of their purpose. He William felt that after writing

extensively on the matter, he felt that it was his duty to take on the role as the “guru of

depression” as stated in the article. This shows that one’s fulfillment and ultimate contribution to

the world is dependent on the way in which they one utilizes their circumstances and not just

their one’s circumstances alone. In William Styron’s case, he has shown the dichotomy between

succumbing to the mental and physical ailments that come with depression and fighting to be

more and give more in the face of one’s problems.

I have suffered from much of the same issue. For a very long time I never really liked

myself. I felt hopeless, spiteful, and worst of all suicidal. I wanted more than anything to do

something impactful and inspire other people but at the same time I had given up because I

always felt that I was not good enough. Until I realized one day that doing something great and

creating an impactful legacy comes from the will to do so and not simply from being good at
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something. After all, your talent will take you places your character cannot keep you. Since then,

I have made that effort everyday to be something more than I was before and inspire others to do

the same.

So what steps should we take to reach a point of self-actualization in each of our lives?

This of course is not going to concern itself with specific career paths or aspirations. Rather, it is

about the basic principles and behaviors that can be used as a guide for the actions that one takes

in any chosen path.

The first thing would be to embrace the serendipity that life offers.

Life is essentially random. However, this is to our advantage. That means that all it takes

is one moment, one person, one idea to change the course of your entire life. There is a story told

in the self-improvement book, Think and Grow Rich “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill

that talks about how a mining company had sold off all their equipment for a few hundred dollars

after tirelessly working to mine for gold during the gold rush. The person that purchased the

equipment got a mining engineer to do some research and found out that the only problem was

that the owners were unfamiliar with fault lines and that just mining three feet from where they

stopped would open the vein of gold. This is a common problem that stems from a person’s lack

of trust in the serendipitous nature of the world and even more so, a lack of belief in the thing

that they are doing.

As the book explains, too often people quit due to being “overtaken by temporary

defeat”. Truly believing in what you are doing is what prevents that. I have come to realize in my

own life and other people’s lives, that quitting shows that you never really bought into the idea in

the first place. Again, pointing back to the importance of mindset and perspective. Those that
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understand their mission, do not have the ubiquitous, “believe it when I see it” mentality. It goes

beyond confidence, and into the realm of simply understanding the laws that dictate success on a

physical level. These miners clearly did not enjoy the process of mining and doing the proper

research for it. Otherwise, they would have made the adjustments that were required to achieve

their desired result. When we are blinded by an end result, like money in this case, we tend to

overlook the things we must do to get there. However, when we fully embrace the obstacles and

process of improvement, we suddenly seem to have more control over the outcome .

Another example of someone who embraces this process is Sir Dave Brailsford, cycling

coach and general manager of team sky. In the team’s 76 year cycling history they had only won

a single gold medal. In 2008 however, thanks to Sir Dave’s coaching, they were able to win

seven out of the ten gold medals cycling gold medals. What changed exactly? Sir Dave applied a

rule called the theory of marginal gains, which is the theory that improving each factor of

something by just one percent can create massive improvement in the long-term. Sir Dave

explains his thinking further in an interview with Harvard Business Review:

“It struck me that we should think small, not big, and adopt a philosophy of continuous

improvement through the aggregation of marginal gains. ”

Just as not feeling the earth’s rotation is not enough evidence to say that it is not

happening, the absence of overwhelmingly vast changes and improvements is not enough to say

that improvements are not being made. Those with a goal that satisfies their long-term

fulfillment, like Sir Dave, tend to be are always able to “focus on progression” and see this

progress from even the most minute of occurrences. They also are aware of another important

piece of the puzzle when accomplishing goalsfollowing your dreams.

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Knowing your opportunities. One should not Don’t shy away from them. It is important

to not let the fear and self-doubt dilute blur your situational awareness. I never wanted to accept

offers from others mainly because I felt that I was not worth it. However, I learned later that the

biggest mistake that you can make is feeling like you are not worth it. You should always grab

hold of the opportunities that align with your goal, especially when someone is willing to take a

chance on you. Too often people do not take such opportunities because they believe that they

are not good enough. However, tThe more you actively try to better yourself and others through

your goals, the more you realize that people do not always need the best. Sometimes they might

not even want that. They just need someone that is willing to be of service to those around them

help and learn in order to and be better than before. If you reject opportunities because you think

you “are not ready” then you most likely will never be ready.

Enjoying the process of strengthening oneself yourself. Clinical Psychologist and

Professor at the University of Toronto, Jordan Peterson, uses sports as an example of something

that clearly represents the one thing that we all crave in an interview with Lewis Howes on the

School of Greatness Podcast. He says that the popularity of sports stems from its dramatization Formatted: Font: (Default) Times New Roman, 12 pt,
Italic
of the “idea of aim” and on top of that “the pursuit of excellence in pursuit of that aim”. In other

words, it is common sense to know that if you do not have something you need, your job at that

moment is to get it in whatever way you deem possible. That same thinking should be applied to

your goals, whatever that goal might be, and the knowledge necessary to achieve that goal them.

Therefore, in order to be skilled and knowledgeable at something or a variety of things, it

requires that you be willing to go through the process of being woefully ignorant first. Moreover,

knowing that that condition is one that changes as naturally as day turns to night.
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Life is a never-ending gauntlet of problems. It is the “ultimate challenge” as defined by

Jordan Peterson. That is something that should be exemplified. Because this suffering can be

justified, as you come out the other end as someone with newfound knowledge and integrity.

Ready to bear the burden of the next challenge that awaits you. We I still have many experiences

left in our lives my life. And as a result, have many failures and pitfalls left as well that and they

still hurt in spite of our my anticipation of them. But, in the end we should bear in mind I know

that as long as we I stay true to our my mission of seeing the good in ourselves in order to see the

good in others helping others see the good in themselves, our my suffering is worthwhile. It is as

Jordan Peterson says, “…it’s not naive optimism. It’s a very different thing…things aren’t

terrible: they’re brutal, and you are so damn tough you can’t believe it.”
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Works Cited

Hill, Napoleon, Think and Grow Rich the Complete Classic Text, Tarcher/Penguin deluxe

edition, 2008

Howes, Lewis, Responsibility and Meaning, School of Greatness Podcast, Jordan Peterson 8 Jul

2018, jordanbpeterson.com/transcripts/lewis-howes/, Accessed 18 Oct 2018

Jung, Carl, The Undiscovered Self, Little, Brown and Company, 1957

Kennedy, Pagan, The Great God of Depression, 3 Aug 2018. New York Times,

www.nytimes.com/2018/08/03/opinion/sunday/depression-william-styron.html, Accessed

18 Oct 2018.

Shostrom, L., Everett, An Inventory for the Measurement of Self-Actualization, Education and

Psychological Measurement, Vol.24, No.2, Institute of Therapeutic Psychology 1 Jul

1964, Institute of Therapeutic Psychology,

journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/001316446402400203, Accessed 18 Oct 2018.