Ana awakened in the near sound of the airplane´s turbine.

The sun was rising as Ana

could have felt the warmth on her cheek. Ana´s eyes opened, and she looked first at Juan her son,

he was sleeping tight in, next to his mother. They had both just arrived into New York City, the

city of opportunities and dreams. Ana was having a difficult style of life in Mexico, being a

single mother, at the age of seventeen and also, her family rejected her because she got pregnant

with Juan way too young. When the airplane landed Ana got Juan and left into the lobby.

Someone was waiting for Ana. After she passed migration, the mother of a friend of Ana was

waiting for them.

¨Ana, ana, here its Juliana´s mother,¨ the lady shouted.

¨O my, hello so nice of seeing you again Maria, gracias again for letting me and Juan stay

in your home while I find a job,¨ Ana replied.

Ana got the bags, while Maria and Juan were waiting in the taxi, Ana couldn't even

believe that she was in the US. Trying of making a living, making a future for her and Juan, the

memories of that date June 17 of 2001 would never be erased from her mind. Ana got outside of

the airport, put the bags on the car and sit down in the taxi.

¨Can you please take us to 90 Pearl Street¨ Maria asked the Taxi driver politely.

After minutes later they arrived in the house in which Maria lived, Ana got the two bags

and brought them into the room that Maria had given her.

¨Go get sleep darling, tomorrow when the sun rises I will give you news¨ Maria said.

Ana noodle, she picked up Juan, opened the bag and got into her pajamas, she also

changed Juan. Ana got a blanket that Maria gave her, put Juan on the side and she got in the

other side, she closed her eyes and think that she would find a job, and then fall to sleep. The
next morning around 7 Am, Ana woke up, she looked around and then focused look on side of

the bed in which Juan was sleeping. And then put on her chanclas and went to the kitchen, she

was gonna make a coffee, but she was afraid since that wasn't where she lived and it was not her

house. Surprisingly Maria came by the back door, scaring Ana.

¨Ana what are you doing awake so, soon in the morning¨ Maria asked.

¨No is just...I want a cup of coffee... but..umm...I was just looking for you, and I guess

you are here¨ Ana said with anguish.

¨Sit down...let me make you some coffee¨ Maria said ¨I have a job for you as a maid in a

higher class family¨ Maria said again¨.

After Ana drinks the coffee she went to the address that Maria gave her. She arrived and

knocked on the door. A lady with black dress opens and introduce her herself.

¨Im Mrs.Montgomery, are you here for the job ?¨Mrs.montgomery said.

¨Yes,¨ Ana said

¨Are you sure you wanna get the job if you do you start tomorrow and move in¨

Mrs.montgomery said.

¨Of course...I'm taking the job by tomorrow morning Imma is here with my child, ready

for work. Thank you so much Mrs.montgomery.¨ Ana said with an anxious tone.

A day later Ana was moving into the mansion taking some things that Maria gave her.

She was so thankful to Maria for the 2 days that she had let her stayed with her. After an hour of

moving, Ana said goodbye to Maria and entered the mansion.Mrs.montgomery was waiting for

her in the kitchen, Ana was just entering and Mrs.montgomery instead of welcoming handed her

the uniform that she had to use and went to the principal door.
 ¨ When I come back I want this house clean… Ana ¨ Said Mrs.montgomery shouting

from the door.

After that she left, Ana was surprised because she had just moved, she just thought it was

because of the fact she moved so quick so she didn't give it that much importance to it. After an

hour of cleaning the house, Mrs.Montgomery came home she looked tired and don't look that

happy. Ana was all in service to her she offered a cup of tea and she received it in a really bad

mood.

¨What is wrong Mrs.montgomery, are you alright ?¨ Ana asked.

¨I'm all right just… go do something you are making me anxious and nervous having you

at my side, by the way, the maid dress looks good since you are latin¨ Mrs.Montgomery said in a

really mad tone.

Ana didn't find what she said as a compliment it was like oppression or like racism. It

was around midnight everyone in the household was already sleeping including Juan, Ana had

toggled him in the bed. She was still working, she was about to finish, she was really surprised

that the first day was so hard after all she was new to all the maid stuff. Ana went out to the yard

and sat down on the stairs, while she hears all the sounds that surrounded her. The night was dark

and cold, the stars were all group together. And for a moment just thought of the dreams she had

and that Juan would grow up to be a great person, after that Ana went to bed, with a simile in her

face. A month and a half had passed since Ana started working, she was more strong and

sensitive, the work that Mrs.montgomery was even harder every day and taking care to Juan was

a challenge for Ana she had to work so much. The summer had gone to an end it was September
9, 2001. That day Ana was really tired and she couldn't work so she went and laid down on her

bed. In a moment Mrs.montgomery entered the room.

¨ What are you doing, go do something you mexican...that is what you are doing here

!¨Mrs.montgomery shouted.

Ana reaction to that was surprising she couldn't believe what she had said. Ana

explained the situation to Mrs.montgomery, but she doesn't really scared, she was insulting her

by her race and Ana wasn't really happy about that, also Juan was present in the argument.

¨Mrs.montgomery please don't argue in front of Juan, I will work, please stop¨ Ana said

quietly.

¨OK... Perhaps now you finally learn something¨ Mrs.montgomery said while exiting the

room. Ana had noticed that Mrs.montgomery was really mean to her, she was being racist all the

time with her. All the time she saw Mrs.Montgomery she was in a good mood talking with the

other maid that was from here New York. The only one that was Mexican without papers, curly

hair and dark skin was Ana. Then Ana realized that Mrs.Montgomery was mean to her because

of her race. Ana waited for hours for Mrs.montgomery to quit.Mrs.montgomery had arrived and

Ana talked to her.

¨I have to quit¨ Ana said.

¨What did you said¨Mrs. montgomery ask out loud

¨I'm leaving, you don't give me the rights I deserve, You always make my work

impossible to do just for my race¨Ana said screaming

¨No you are not going anywhere, because if you do I'm going to make your immigrant

Mexican ass to get out of my country¨ Mrs. Montgomery said angrily.

 Mrs.Montgomery slap Ana, the sound of the clap was still echoing in the background.

Ana was afraid, she didn't want to go back to Mexico, but she didn't want to stay in here

making her opportunities of getting the American dream come true because of a racist like

Mrs.Montgomery.She looked angrily at Mrs.montgomery and went to her room.

Ana was in her room, she was crying, while Juan was sleeping in her side, Ana was not

gonna stay in a place of terror, but she did not have another choice she had no one only Juan.

After three long months of hard work and sacrifices, Ana had changed into a strong independent

woman, The country was still the shock of the terrorist attack of the 9/11.Mrs.Montgomery had

changed after the fight that she had with Ana, she didn't allow her to leave the house or not even

talk to the other maids, Ana was living hell in that house.

¨Ana, I'm organizing a party for the community, so you will be in charge of making

everything great¨ said Mrs.montgomery.

¨Ok mamm¨ Ana said in a quiet tone.

¨ O my I love your accent, it just sounds so dumb and funny¨ Mrs.Montgomery said.

After Mrs.Montgomery left Ana was left with thoughts on her mind, Ana still wanted to

escape with Juan far away from that city and that racist of Mrs.Montgomery. After two long

weeks of preparing the party. Ana had thought over the situations she had passed through and

she had decided that the best for her and Juan was escaping from that house and starting again far

away from New York. The day had come it was December,23 of 2001, the whole house was

clean and perfect for the party, the guess was about to enter the house. Ana had prepared a small

bag full of her clothes and Juan, and she had six-hundred dollars with her. Before the door was

going to open Mrs.montgomery came into the room.

 ¨Do not mess this up… you little brunette¨ Mrs.montgomery said to Ana.

And look at her and Smile knowing that she wasn't gonna see her anymore. The party had

begun, the music had a high volume the people were all elegant talking and gossiping. All the

maid were in labor, so Ana´s plan was surely going to work. Ana could of smell the food out of

the oven, she had prepared all herself, she served and everyone went to the table for the meal.

Ana had been dismissed by Mrs.Montgomery. The hall of the house was empty and the music

was loud, Ana went into her room and got Juan in hands, got the bag and got out of the room.

Ana closed the door carefully and went into the hallway and down the stairs, in the main door

there was a mirror in which she saw herself with. She saw a strong woman with beautiful curly

hair and full of dreams, she reached the handle of the door and open it and got out quickly into

the main street. Ana gave on the last look to the house, kissed Juan in the check and went on her

way to the bus station in the cold night. Ana and Juan arrived into the station, it was about 9

o'clock pm, she bought one ticket way to Los Angeles, the bus was leaving at 9:15, she waited.

When the bus arrived she got on it, sat with Juan. Then after 5 minutes, the bus started on the

way. Ana was in her way to Los Angeles with hopes of a better life.

Rubric rating submitted on: 11/4/2018, 2:47:22 PM by atoorish@rpsk12.org

4 (yes, and) 3 (yes) 2 (yes, but) 1 (no)

Use of Theme in Theme is fully Theme is clear and Theme is somewhat There is no
Conflict developed and is consistent through developed, but is connection to a
3 (yes) consistent through the narrative. The unclear or larger theme in the
the narrative. author creates a inconsistent. narrative; there is no
Author makes a clear conflict that Conflict is unclear conflict in the story.
powerful statement drives the action. or unconnected to
about the theme by the theme.
creating a clear
 conflict that drives
the action.

Sequence & Pacing Writer expertly Writer uses Writer uses some Important moments
2 (yes, but) slows down or effective pacing to pacing in the story; are only briefly
speeds up time for slow down or parts are rushed or mentioned. Story
emphasis and speeds up time for drawn out. Some sequence is
dramatic effect. The emphasis. The confusion in confusing or plot
sequence of the sequence of the sequence, or plot elements are
story adds effect. story is logical. elements unclear. missing.

Characters & Descriptive details Descriptive details Writer used some The writing reads
Details make the writing enhance some descriptive details like a summary, not
2 (yes, but) rich and vivid and moments. but work was more a story: all tell, no
bring characters to Characters are clear “tell” than “show”. show. Characters
life. and realistic. Character work are two
needed. dimensional.

Reflective Ending makes the Ending follows Ending feels forced There is no
Resolution point of the story from the story and or rushed. Doesn’t resolution to the
2 (yes, but) clear. Reader is left reflects on the reflect on a theme, story, or the
with something theme. or is confusing. resolution is
important to ponder. illogical and
unconnected.

Clarity & Cohesion Meaning is totally Meaning is clear. Meaning is Meaning is often
2 (yes, but) clear. Writer Writer creates somewhat clear. confusing. Ideas are
artfully creates transitions, clarifies Clarification of left unexplained.
transitions and relationships among relationships and Transitions are
clarifies ideas and events. ideas is needed. confusing.
relationships among
ideas and events.

Tone & Style Choice of words, Choice of words, Choice of words, Choice of words,
2 (yes, but) sentence structure, sentence structures, sentence structures, sentence structures,
and tone enhance and tone are and tone are and tone are not
writing. Established appropriate for the sometimes appropriate for the
and maintained an task & audience. appropriate for the task & audience.
effective and Established and task & audience. Ineffective style.
original style. maintained an Mostly uses an
effective style. effective style.

Grammar, Spelling, Precise grammar, Correct use of Some mistakes in Misuse of spelling,
Punctuation spelling, grammar, spelling, grammar, spelling, grammar,
2 (yes, but) punctuation, and punctuation, and punctuation or punctuation, and
capitalization add to capitalization. capitalization. capitalization
the story’s clarity. Effective use of a Needs more variety detracts from
Effective use of a variety of sentence in sentence meaning. No
 variety of sentence structures. structure. variety in sentence
structures. structure.

Comments:
80/100

thematic connection: 45/50