Life as an expression of joy…

In the world of business, relationships are the key to success. People at every
level have a deep need for relationships, and catering to that need might
ultimately determine the success of an organization. Fortunately some businesses
have started measuring their success not in terms of maximizing shareholder
wealth, but in terms of maximizing employee potential and contribution to the
society. I am of the opinion that there is a strong link between employee loyalty
and shareholder value. Nurturing emotional bond among employees leads to
loyalty, loyal employees attract loyal customers and loyal customers enhance
shareholder value. Organizations need to operate like family where emotional
bonding is nurtured.

For most of us the quality of relationship that we hold in our life largely decides
the very quality of life we live. I am trying to build on this premise that
relationship plays a very important role in our life, be it relationship between
husband and wife, father and son mother and daughter employer and employee
so on and so forth. Even in the corporate world strategists, and experts are talking
about relationship management be it with customers or suppliers or as a matter
of fact with employees also.
So if relationships are that important then it is essential for all of us to understand
the basis of any relationship such as
What is a relationship?
Why do we all need relationships?
Basis of any relationship is the need
Relationships are formed at different levels to fulfil different needs
Needs may be
Physical
Psychological
Emotional
Social
Financial and it may go on and on
Whatever be the nature of the need, we form relationship to fulfil our needs..
We may claim many things for whatever purpose we have formed relationship,
but if those needs are not fulfilled, relationship will go BAD.
If we look closely then the needs within us have risen because of a certain sense
of incompleteness which we experience deep within ourselves.
 As mentioned in the scriptures “Life is a complete entity by itself.”
If our life is a complete entity then the big question arises, why do we experience
the feeling of incompleteness, and why is our life trying to fulfil itself by making a
partnership with another life form?
We call it life seeking life via RELATIONSHIP
Life seeking life via RELATIONSHIP is a complex process that leads to only one
thing - Expectations, expectations and expectations…
One possible reason of this incompleteness could be our ignorance or inability to
explore life form to its fullest. Just a thought…..
Life seeking life via RELATIONSHIP leading to expectations at times are so
unrealistic that none of us can fulfil them even if we try our level best mainly
because expectations keep on changing with experiences and that too at different
pace.
So probably if we try to understand the source of these expectations then we
could try to form a very beautiful relationship…
Having understood that relationship becomes complex because of the level of
expectation increases with experiences then in that case if we go about managing
these expectations, then there is no way we can gauge or measure them to the
fullest
In our day to day life the levels of expectation in our relationship keep on
changing at very different pace and it is next to impossible to match them, be it
between father and son, husband and wife so on and so forth
Imagine if we try to mind read other person and constantly try to fulfil his or her
expectations, then probably we will go nuts
So the basis of any beautiful relationship cannot be fulfillment of Expectations.
People enter into relationship because they want to be happy they want to be
joyful
In other words they use the other person as a source of their happiness, so where
we enter into relationships that try to squeeze happiness out of somebody, and
that somebody is also trying to squeeze happiness out of us, then such a
relationship is going to be very painful after sometime, Initially it may work
because each one is getting something from the other
Our happiness is thus not on self start, it depends on others, so our happiness
and joyfulness is momentary and is dependent. As a result won’t last long.
On the contrary when we enter into a relationship to express happiness and
feeling of joyfulness it lasts long and is very beautiful, which means that when we
make our life an expression of joy and are not in pursuit of happiness then
relationships naturally become wonderful, and this is mainly because now we are
not expecting anything and we are only sharing our happiness and joy with others
via relationship (Giving is also as much a need as receiving)
Needs as discussed earlier could be diverse so accordingly are the relationships
When our body goes in search for relationship people call it SEXUALITY
When our mind goes in search for relationship people call it COMPANIONSHIP
When our emotion goes in search for relationship people call it LOVE
Whatever the case may, be the idea is to become one with something else to
have the feeling of completeness, because somehow being who we are right now
is not enough and we want to achieve a higher level of being in partnership with
someone else –RELATIONSHIP
At some point of time we all have tried at physical, mental and emotional level to
form relationship and experience the feeling of completeness, but failed
miserably
Imagine when we are very joyful and happy our life energies feel exuberant, we
feel a sense of extension of our life
In this state whatever is within our boundaries of our sensation is MY SELF mainly
because our sensory body differs from physical body
In this state of exuberance we experience everything around us as a part of our
self, and our very existence differs from what we are now
It is eternal joyful and in one word state of a TRANCE.
Recollect when you last felt like that… difficult isn’t it?
A child always lives in this state of unconditional relationship its existence is mere
expression of joy and not pursuit of happiness
When we experience a feeling of extension of our life, then the relationship
become only a way of looking towards the other’s need and not about our own
because in this state of experiential extension of joyfulness we have no needs ,
our needs have gone, and so everyone wants to be with us.
Once there are no compulsions with the relationship then everything we do
becomes conscious, making relationship be very beautiful and a blessing
So desire to include someone as part of yourself in your life can be referred as
RELATIONSHIP
We need to learn to include other as a part of our self, and then our life becomes
expression of love and joyfulness which is not in pursuit of happiness only making
every possible relationship blissful- with different colors and dimensions that can
be enjoyed and not managed.
The smartest people tend to have horrible relationships, not essentially but
generally. Simple people have wonderful relationships, because for them it is not
the question of managing of relationship.
Nobody likes to be managed by others we all need to understand that. The
moment people realize that you are managing them they will give you heck in so
many different ways trying to make your life miserable.
If we look around then we will find that it is not our enemies who are bothering
and making our lives miserable, it is our loved ones that are bothering and making
our lives miserable in some way or the other.
If our enemy does this to us it is acceptable as there is a valid reason for it. People
who care for each other and are concerned about each other are the ones who
are making each other’s lives miserable.
Believe or not this is happening – generations after generations, simply because
we all strongly believe that people need to be managed.
In fact we should not try to manage the other person - rather we should seek how
to include the other person, without bothering to understand everything about
the person.
The other person is seeking our inclusion and hence we need not to understand
his thoughts, behavior so on and so forth, because the moment we try to
understand everything the person starts feeling threatened, because now you
understand the person completely.
People around us whom we claim to know are not looking for our understanding
though they claim for understanding in fact they all are looking for INCLUSION
People look for INCLUSION in relationship and not understanding
Relationship thus cannot be MANAGED
At this point we need to do some introspection and ask ourselves as to why we
need relationships.
We enter into relationships because deep down within us we all have the feeling
of incompleteness.
If we try to achieve a level of completeness within us that has got nothing to do
with the others, then we find that every other person wants to be with us, and
this is because our need for the other person has gone
Funny but true when we have a need nobody wants to be with us, but the
moment our need is gone everybody wants to be with us…you can experience this
for yourself
If a flower blossoms only then bees will come so we need to open up and blossom
only then people will like to have relationship with us.
As of now most of us are closed buds calling bees to come to us, they won’t come
unless we open ourselves, and when we open ourselves they eventually will come
The key to have wonderful relationship is to avoid trying to managing them
instead focus in enhancing as to who you are
When we say who you are, then we mean at all 4 levels:
Physical level
Mental level
Emotional level
Energy level
If we enhance at all the 4 levels then surprisingly every other person wants to
have relationship with us
Instead of enhancing ourselves at Physical, Mental, Emotional and Energy level,
what we are doing is trying to manage these 4 levels and this doesn’t work at all.
We need to ENHANCE not MANAGE ourselves.
If we want to maintain and experience good relationship then we need to
enhance ourselves at all the levels be it physical, mental emotional or at energy
level.
Enhancing ourselves to ultimate levels of who we are, means keeping ourselves in
best of Body, Mind and Emotion, and Energy only then people wants to be with
us … yes
Nobody wants to be in the company of weak people. If we keep ourselves low at
any of the levels be it physically, mentally emotionally or energy wise then
nobody wants to be with us, just forget about the relationship because now we
are a burden.
We human beings should always focus to enhance our way of being, then every
other thing gets naturally managed be it our profession or relationship or
whatever else, everything will happen at its best only when we enhance our way
of being.
The real problem arises when we all try to manage our physical, mental and
emotional levels without enhancing our way of being, then life really becomes
very stressful.
If we look at some of the statistics publishes by Indian Medical Association then
relationships are causing maximum amount of stress today.
As people get educated, they think they are more modernized though in fact they
tend to have more problems in having good relationship.
Education in fact should have widened and broadened our horizon and scope of
life, but it has compressed it in such a way that getting along with other people is
becoming very difficult..
Two people can’t live together anymore
Weekend marriages are fine, but through the week marriages are impossible. It is
becoming like that believe it or not.
Why this is happening because we are becoming more EXCLUSIVE and not
INCLUSIVE
Modern societies are encouraging exclusiveness, and that leads to depression ---
yes and this hold true, people around us are depressed like never before.
In the past few incidences of suicides, drug abuse, alcoholism to name few were
reported, but as we claim to be more modern and exclusive the incidences
related to above have become the headlines of almost every news paper
Despite high levels of comfort and convenience people are more depressed
never like before, because they can’t get along with anybody, as they have
become too EXCLUSIVE
Inclusiveness means Relationship
Exclusiveness means Depression
If we refer to some great scholars and their work of Inclusiveness has a wide
scope some define it as a way of life others refer the same to YOGA so on and so
forth, but by inclusiveness we mean ultimate union and not a particular way of
life or YOGA
Inclusiveness means anything to achieve ultimate union with life.
This sounds very philosophical…
At this point of time I am sure we all are anxious to know how to achieve ultimate
union with life.
I am sure you all will agree we can only work with what we have with us
We can’t work with something that we don’t have
In order to enhance our way of being we first have to understand what is that we
call ourselves as of now

What is it that you can call yourself now….

Is it your BODY,
Is it your MIND,
Is it your EMOTIONS or
Is it your URJJA (Energy)
Basically all 4 make up what we call ourselves and are the basic realities for all of
us, and so there are 4 ways to achieve ultimate union with our lives.
When we employ our body to reach the ultimate nature of our very being, then
we are using our ACTIONS
When we employ our mind to reach the ultimate nature of our very being, then
we are using our INTELLIGENCE
When we employ our emotions to reach the ultimate nature of our very being,
then we are using our DEVOTION
When we employ our energies to reach the ultimate nature of our very being,
then we are using our TRANSFORMING ENERGIES
Rest is all imagination and why I am saying so because we can’t experience easily,
we can make theories out of it, may even believe them but find difficulty in
treating them as reality, because we haven’t experienced them
Amir Khan and Mr. Chetan Bhagat have given 3 idiots, but somewhere I have
read the story of 4 idiots that I would like to share with you all, to explain my
point further.. The story goes like this..
Four priests were passing through the jungle. One of them was a strong believer
in Actions to achieve anything, the other one was a strong believer in Intelligence
to achieve anything, the third priest was a strong believer in Devotion to achieve
anything, and the last priest was a strong believer in Transforming energies to
achieve anything.
Suddenly a storm struck with heavy rainfall, all of them got worried as to what to
do, suddenly the priest who believed in Bhakti informed others about a temple in
the middle of the jungle, all four of them rushed towards the temple.
In the middle of the jungle they found a small temple standing on 4 columns with
damaged walls and a statue of God in the center.
The storm grew stronger and in order to protect themselves from rain all 4 priest
hugged each other around the Lord statue, and suddenly God appeared.
All four of them were surprised on seeing God with the question in mind How
come god appeared now…and why?
God replied ‘At least now you 4 idiots are together.’
The moral of the story if we want to achieve complete union with ourselves than
all 4 that is our
BODY
MIND
EMOTIONS and
TRANSFORMING ENERGIES Must Work Together,
Working on any one aspect won’t get us anywhere.
To enhance our way of being we must enhance our BODY, MIND, EMOTIONS and
ENERGIES to the ultimate nature of very being.
Strange but true each one of us is a unique combination of BODY,MIND
EMOTIONS and ENERGY, which means Mr. X is different from Mr. Y so on and so
forth.
Since we all are different hence we cannot have a standard formula for achieving
higher levels of self being.
So if there is a problem and in order to understand the complexity of our problem
we need to blend the right kind of ACTIONS, INTELLECT, DEVOTION and
TRANSFORMING ENERGY in achieving higher levels of self being
Stating in common mans vocabulary each one of us represents unique
combination of HEAD, HEART, HANDS and ENERGY, and hence relationships
cannot be managed and can never be managed.
The only way is if we handle the so called 4 dimensions of our being that is HEAD,
HEART HANDS and ENEGRY properly, then we can include the other person, and
in this inclusiveness, all differences of the other person are acceptable, that only
adds color and dimensions to our lives.
In all our inclusiveness the problem arises when we feel that the other person
doesn’t feel and behave like us.
Take a few moments and imagine living with a person exactly like you… how do
you feel …Horrible!
Fortunately nobody is like us else our lives would have been really miserable!
Time for Introspection and you need to sit back and think
Is that what we are complaining that people are different?
In fact different people add color and new dimensions to our way of being and we
are complaining for that difference
In fact we are complaining about what is good for us
And you know why we are complaining because deep down we have a sense of
incompleteness or we don’t have a sense of inclusiveness.
If we include every other person the way they are with all the differences then we
can in fact enjoy these differences that can add vigor to our lives, but the key
ingredient is INCLUSIVENESS.
The very basis of man women relationship is the difference between them at all
the 4 levels, BODY, MIND, EMOTIONS and ENERGY.
Men seek women because they are different, if they happen to be the same at all
levels then things would have been different
REMEMBER - Opposites attracts
In any relationship we seek each other and vice versa but after we get together
we want the other person to
Think the way we think
Emote the way we emote
Behave the way we behave
Feel the way we feel
Act the way we act,
Completely ignoring the fact that each one of us represents a unique combination
of BODY, MIND EMOTIONS and ENERGY and hence can never be managed.
It is the way of life and we are very fortunate that none of us lives completely up
to the expectations of others, and if it ever happens than we are finished
Relationships are longing for inclusiveness, and if we approach others as such
and include others as part of ourselves irrespective of what they are, and how
they are, they will be just wonderful with us.
Without our inclusiveness in any relationship almost nothing seems to work, as
now our approach is managing them, in that case whichever way they are they
are almost impossible.
When we include someone as part of ourselves without seeking anything from
them, then we are just a joyful presence for the other person and things seem to
work for the betterment.
Believe me any human being when HAPPY is a wonderful person, so when you
meet a happy person he seems to be wonderful human being, but if you meet the
same person when he is not happy the same person could really be very nasty ..
Same goes for us also when someone meets us when we are happy he feels great
and hold us high and wants to be with us -JOYFUL, on the contrary when
someone meets us when we are not happy he feels the other way round and
wants to move away from us NOT JOYFUL.
So a person becomes UGLY or BEAUTIFUL not because he happens to be UGLY or
BEAUTIFUL but because they are JOYFUL or NOT JOYFUL
When you are JOYFUL everybody and everything is BEAUTIFUL
When are NOT JOYFUL then everybody and everything is UGLY
Relationship should not be used as a medium to fulfil our expectations rather
should be used to express happiness and feeling of joyfulness which means when
we make our life an expression of joy and not in pursuit of happiness then
relationships naturally become wonderful, because when you become an
expression of joy then you are not expecting anything from anybody , in fact your
needs are gone and now your happiness is on self start since you’re your at the
giving end of the continuum so every other person would seek your company and
thus you can now hold thousands of very beautiful relationships
REMEMBER “ Giving is also as much a need as receiving it”
Author
Prof. Vinod.Kr.Sharma - Dean Academics
Jagran Institute of Management

Respected Sir
Good Afternoon
Please find enclosed with this, an article written by me. My article is a way
expressing my thoughts and my personal experiences what I have been observing.
May I humbly request to kindly advise and comment as to how far I have been
able to convey my thoughts and experiences through this piece of writing.
Thanking You

Yours Sincerely
Vinod Kr Sharma
Dated: 19-06-2010