RAPPORT BUILDING

M AT T A R T I S A N
 RAPPORT BUILDING

CHEAT SHEET

What Is Rapport?

A close relationship in which the people or groups understand each

other's feelings or ideas and communicate well.

Biggest Mistakes Guys Make

Asking too many questions in a row without making any comments or giving
input.

Asking too many boring questions and so she’s go into autopilot response mode.

Asking too many logical questions and she doesn’t “feel” anything.

Talking about one subject too long instead of talking about multiple subjects to
build wide rapport and create a better connection.

Interesting Questions

If you had all the money in the world what would you do?

If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go and why?

What was your first impression of me?

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At what point did you realize you were attracted to me?

If you could meet anyone dead or alive who would it be?

When was the last time you watched a movie that made you cry?

What is your dream job?

What is something that makes you laugh out loud?

What characteristics do you want in a man?

What do you like most about living here?

What’s been the most significant or best years of your life so far?

What’s one thing you did as a kid that you miss doing now?

Who is the closest person in your life?

What are 3 things you want to accomplish before you die?

Who has been the most influential person in your life?

What is something you’ve done that you are really proud of?

If you were stranded on an island and could only take 3 things with you
what would they be?

What is the most spontaneous thing you have ever done?

What is your biggest pet peeve?

How do you like to spend your mornings/days/afternoons/nights?

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What are your little quirks?

What is your biggest fear?


What is your family like?

Who is your best friend and why?

What do you wish you were better at?

What is the worst pickup line you’ve ever heard?

What is your favorite childhood memory?

What is something really embarrassing that has happened to you?

Do you have any talents? What talent do you wish you had?

Make Statements Instead Of Asking Questions

Instead of asking, “where are you from?” you can say, “You seem like you are
from California/The West Coast/New York/etc.”

Instead of asking, “what do you do?” you can say, “You seem like a nurse/
school teacher/artist/business owner/etc.”

Instead of asking, “do you live around here?” you can say, “I bet you live near
the bar huh? Because you seem like a nightlife kind of girl.”

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 Ask Emotionally Charged Follow Up Questions

“Why?”

“Why do you do that?”

“What do you like about that?”

“How do you feel when you are doing that?”

“Was that hard for you?”

Can Also Make Statements:

“You must have felt really proud when you...”

“I bet you were really scared when...”

“I can tell you are really passionate about that.”

Relate Back To Her Emotions

“I know what you mean because I feel the same way when I am...”
Note: Doesn’t have to be the same activity; it just has to be the same feeling.

“I don’t know how it is for you, but when I am X, I feel really Y. Is it like
that for you?”
X = What you are passion about / Same answer as her
Y = How you feel when you are doing your passion / “Alive” / “In the moment like
nothing else matters”

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Example: She says she loves to dance and you say, “I bet you feel really expressive
when you are dancing. I don’t know how it is for you but even though I’m not the
best dancer I feel really free and in the moment when I’m dancing. Is it like that for
you?”

Show Appreciation

Ask yourself, “what does this say about her?” or “what quality does she have?” or “why
would she be motivated to do that?”

“You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders and I like that
because a lot of girls in this city are so shallow but you seem to be a deep
person, that’s rare.”

“I like that you are creative because i think creative people see the world
differently. They see the beauty in everything. I’m the same way…”
Note: If she loves to paint then maybe she is artistic and creative and she thinks
outside the box. If she loves to exercise then perhaps she cares about her future and
improving the quality of her life. If she loves to travel maybe she is adventurous or
fascinated by other cultures.

When Talking About Yourself

Make Sure To Use Trigger Words

Her: “Where did you grow up?”

You: “In North Carolina and I really didn’t like it because I’m a big city kind of guy.
I love excitement and people.”
Note: The trigger words are underlined. When you use trigger words the girl can pick
the subject that excites her most. Use the word “because” to force yourself to give
trigger-word-rich answers.

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You: “You seem like very artistic person, I bet you are very creative.”
Her: “Yeah I love to paint murals and I also play the piano, my dad taught me when
I was young.”
Note: Notice the trigger words she uses and notice if he eyes light up when she says a
particular trigger word, and if so, talk about that subject.

Her: “What is your favorite type of music”

You: “I really like Michael Jackson because it reminds me of my childhood. I used to
listen to him and try to emulate his moon walk”
Note: She can talk about Michael Jackson, ask about your childhood or demand a
demonstration of your moonwalking skills. Much better then just saying, “Michael
Jackson” or worse yet, “I like everything.”

Bragging V.S. Sharing

Sharing Is Good: “I love rock music because I’ve always played in rock bands since
I was 15. I just love being on stage. There’s just this amazing synergy between the
band and the audience when you are on stage in front of cheering fans. It’s
unbelievable.”
Note: Sharing is giving information about yourself to paint a more clear picture of who
you are and where you came from.

Bragging Is Bad: “I love rock music and I played in a rock band and we were on
MTV and we toured with Linkin Park.”
Note: Bragging is giving unsolicited boastful information in order to impress her.

Have Rich Answers To Common Questions

The most important one is, “what do you do?” Have a passionate answer
for this question that conveys love and enthusiasm for your job and/or
passion.

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Note: Your job does not have to be your passion.

Example: “I’m a computer engineer and I absolutely love it because I get to solve
these hard problems all day long and it’s so challenging and creative. (pause) Do you
do anything that is challenging or creative?”

Important Info A Girl Needs To Know About You

The follow is a list of minimal information that a typical girl needs to know about you
in order to feel comfortable enough to sleep with you. If she knows the answers to
these questions she will feel a greater connection to you and a sense that she knows
who you really are. Don’t wait for her to ask all of these questions. Instead, drop
trigger words in the conversation that provides some of this information.

1. Name
2. Job
3. Passion
4. What you do for fun
5. Do you have siblings?
6. Are you close to your family?
7. Longest relationship
8. Where are you from?
9. What are your friends like?

Example: She asks you, “what do you do for fun” and you answer, “I love to travel
with my family. I’m very close to my family and we do a family trip every Christmas
to a warm climate like Jamaica or Mexico. Have you ever been? And I have two
younger siblings and we do a sibling trip every two years. I wish I was closer to my
family because I only see them during these trips since I travel so much for my job.”
Do you see how this gives her information about what you do for fun, your family,
your siblings and your job?

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 Vulnerability Stories

Makes you more relatable and “human” because everyone experiences

moments of vulnerability. Reveal real emotion as you tell the story. Remember,
women fall In love with the “real” you not the phony “super cool” bar facade that most
guys display. This can really speed up the connection, but be careful being too
vulnerable too soon.

Don’t go overboard or you will seem weak. Show that you overcame a hard
experience and came out a better person.

Examples of good vulnerability stories:

• You had to fire your business partner
• You had to confront your best friend for steeling from you
• Your parents didn’t support you in your career
• You had a fear of heights that you overcame
• You were dyslexic as a kid and had to overcome it
• A weird quirk you have
• An emotional childhood memory
• Other challenging experiences in your life

Make sure it is 100% real and authentic. Do not lie about it; or anything
else for that matter.

*Examples of vulnerability stories in the video/audio module.

Storytelling Techniques

Gives you an opportunity to give her more information about yourself,

demonstrates personality and who you are and how you see the world, leads the
conversation and can subtly mention attractive qualities about yourself without
bragging.

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Give enough detail so she can picture it in her mind. What are the emotions
and sensory details - sight, smells, etc.; Talk about how you were feeling. Don't go on
and on about something uninteresting or give unnecessary detail.

Something interesting must happen. Some kind of change from the beginning of
the story to the end. Must have a beginning, clash, and resolution.

Personalize the story to the audience. Example: "she kind of reminds me of

you", "Sarah, has that ever happened to you?"

Write about yourself; write down your memories and stories. Make a list of your
best stories and tell them over and over to make them good. You can have stories for
different situations such as bringing up sex, demonstrating attractive qualities (high
status or high value), vulnerability, or to show that you won’t judge her if she sleeps
with you quickly.

*Examples of stories in the video/audio module.

Cold Reading

Cold Reading makes it It seems like you know her as good or better than
she knows herself. Often they are just human generalities or female
truisms.

Don't overdue it and be the weird mystical fortune teller guy. Start
becoming very observant of people.

"I can tell you are X and part of you is Y, I know because I'm the same
way"
Note: X & Y are opposites.

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“I can tell you are very independent like you will do things on your own
without needing the approval of your friends or peers. Yet sometimes
you just want someone to take charge and control the situation so you
can just be along for the ride.”
Note: When you say someone has two opposite sides, it encapsulates virtually all
people.

”I can tell that you are very creative, I bet you have good ideas. Let me
hear one of them."
Note: Most people consider themselves to be creative, whether they have a creative job
or hobby or not.

"I can tell you see the world through emotions."

Note: This is true about almost all women.

"I can tell you are very free spirited."

Note: Great to use if you want to set the frame of her being the tyle of girl that does
her own thing and goes with the flow.

Future Projections

Allow her to see herself with you in the future. As you talk about the two of you
hanging out in the future she will begin to picture it in her mind. This creates a sense
that you are someone who will remain in her life, instead of just a one time meeting.

"We have to go to (mutual interest) one day. It will be so fun because...”

Note: Briefly describe what it will be like when you and her hang out there.

“We have to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers together next time they come
to town. I’ll put you on my shoulders and you can totally flash Flee, it
will be hilarious. And then we can sneak back stage and I can get
Anthony’s autograph on my chest.”

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After you get her number say, “What is your schedule like this week? You are
free Tuesday huh, well on Tuesday I was going to go to [Name Of Venue].
Have you been? No! What! Are you living under a rock??? It is awesome
because [Oversell It]. Okay I’ll text you and we’ll go, but promise you can
hold your liquor?”

The Question Game

Great game to play to keep the conversation going, build rapport, never run out of
things to say, learn information about her, reveal information about yourself, escalate
the conversation, go for a kiss and turn things sexual.

Rules:
#1: The questions have to be good
#2: No repeat questions
#3: She goes first

Sequence:
Start off with interesting questions and qualification questions; Then after a while
start asking relationship questions; Then, especially after you’ve kissed her, start
asking sexual questions.

More Interesting Questions

Who do you think is the most attractive girl in the world? Why?

Would you rather be on a train, feel no pain, or dance in the rain?

If they turned your life into a movie, what actress would star as you?

Tell me something that most people wouldn’t know about you?

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Do you remember the best summer of your life? What was it like?

If you were gonna take me to your favorite restaurant, where would we go

and what would you order?

If you could have any super power what would would you have?

What is the #1 item on your bucket list?

Who's someone you really look up to and admire? Why?

When's the last time you did something for yourself that was outside your
comfort zone?

Relationship Questions

What's your biggest turn-off? What's your biggest turn-on?

What is the worst first date you’ve had?

When's the last time you were really jealous? Why?

Are you still friends with any of your ex-boyfriends?

What do you value most in somebody you're sleeping with?

If you could make out with someone for 3 minutes and no one would ever
find out, who would it be? Why them?

How soon do you feel comfortable with a new man?

When did you realize you were first attracted to me?

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Are you a good kisser?

Would you like to kiss me?

Sexual Questions

What's your favorite kind of sex? Why?

Do you consider yourself a great lover? Why?

Would you rather give oral or get oral?

Are you into bondage or BDSM?

Would you rather have your ass smacked or your hair pulled?
Note: You can then proceed to smack her ass and pull her hair, “Really? You’d rather
have your hair pulled [pull her hair] than have your ass smacked? [smack her ass]”

Would you rather have your neck sucked on or your ear nibbled on?
Note: Same idea as previous.

Where is the craziest place you’ve ever had sex? You have to tell me that
story.

What is your favorite position?

What is your fantasy?

Would you ever have a threesome? Have you had one before?

Have you ever been with a girl? Are you attracted to women?

What do you like to do after you have sex? Cuddle? Smoke a cigarette?

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 Two Truths & A Lie

Another good ‘getting to know each other’ game where each person goes back and
forth revealing two things that are true about themselves and one thing that is a lie.
The other person has to guess which statement is a lie. This game allows you to reveal
a lot of personal info about yourself and learn a lot about her. You can even brag and it
won’t come off as bragging. After each person’s turn, there should be some dialog,
explanations, questions, stories, etc.

Example: “I am a dating coach. I own a Maserati S5. I have taught students in 41

countries.” The lie is that I own a Maserati S5.

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