I am so fortunate to be at a job in which both the men and women respect each other.

I can’t

express how glad I am to be blessed with this opportunity, but what makes me sad is that this

respectful work environment is a rarity in my experience. The joy I feel in being a regular person

in my full-time job and not a trophy employee for some disgustingly inappropriate male boss,

shouldn’t be uncommon it should be the standard. But unfortunately, being a “body” instead of a

worker has been a common instance for me in my employed life.

It all started at my second real job. I was meeting the new manager who had just been hired to

replace our old co-manager at my second real job. He was male, and so I was already nervous

especially since the rest of management was female and our former co-manager was as well. I

was 25 and he was most likely 30 or 35, the oldest.

The harassment started within the first couple of weeks. The manager was very friendly toward

me, always offering to help carry heavy items, holding the door open, telling me I was doing a

great job. I thought he was being nice, and appreciated his assistance. This attention progressed

to hugs, and unwanted physical contact. He used to whisper in my ear about how he thought I

looked pretty that day. I would be trying to do my work and he would come up behind me,

trapping me against a counter, and tell me about how he wanted to go on a vacation to Italy and

would I like to go with him? I would say 'No, thank you' and try to get away. After nearly four

months, someone else saw one of the incidents where he had me trapped against a counter,
holding my arm tight, whispering in my ear, and they reported it — because he had done

something similar to them once, too, a year before.

An investigation followed, and I spent an anxious several weeks retelling all the incidents of

harassment to various people, who believed me or didn't, to varying degrees. Thankfully there

had been multiple witnesses; several people told me after they were sorry they hadn't done

anything sooner. I always insisted it wasn't their fault, it was mine for not doing something

sooner. Why didn’t I initiate the investigation? Because the man was popular; I was new and in

the lowest possible position. Because he and my boss's boss went golfing together.