Here's a couple of proper questions:

1) What's wrong?
a) The weather.
b) The queues.
c) The government.
d) All of the above.

2) What's the best way to describe 100 cm?

a) A meter
b) A metre
c) 3.28083989501 feet
d) About a yard.

Bonus mark if you missed either the A or the T out of 'bou'.

3) Chicken Tikka Masala is England's favourite dish. Where does it come from?
a) India.
b) England.
c) Scotland.

Bonus marks for the name of any supermarket other than Waitrose.

4) Name a quality newspaper.

(Trick question: Any answer is wrong.)

5) What are the ingredients of a bacon sandwich?

Proper bacon, two doorsteps, brown sauce Ketchup is acceptable IF it's Heinz. Lose
half a mark for lettuce.

6) Seriously, what's wrong?

a) The weather
b) That guy on the news, did you see it? Oooh what a scandal.
c) What the doctor doesn't think I have, but I know I do.
d) All of the above.

7) When should you say sorry?

a) When something is your fault.
b) When something isn't your fault.
c) When something might be your fault.
d) At every possible instance.

8) Look, are you sure nothing's wrong?

a) It's OK, I'll cope.
b) It's fine, I'll cope.
c) Well... - Lose 5 marks.
d) No, nothing is wrong.

9) Sex?
a) Male
b) Female
c) Hurr hurr you said sex - Lose 5 marks
d) I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean.

10)
Two World Wars and One World Cup?
a) Doo dah, doo dah.
b) I don't understand the question.
c) I find that offensive. - Lose 5 marks.
d) Do you really think we should still be harping on about that? - Deportation.

11) Congratulations, you have passed the test.

a) Sorry.
b) Sorry.