Dizney Court

Facework Masks

Comm2050

Professor Jones

January 26th

Girl in Charge

Hello, nice to meet you! Are you here for the Meet-Up event? Let me show you some of

the games we have. Lets all get together and play. When I meet a new attendee of any of the

many events I host for work, they will find a friendly guide whose only concern is for them to

have a good time. She works hard, she’s buzzing around taking care of problems, greeting

people, networking, making connections, teaching board games, making drinks, taking pictures,

and overall making sure her guests are feeling welcomed and enjoying themselves. Yes, she is

the warm gamer girl but also the competent professional business woman.

This mask has been in the works for a while. I’ve always had an energy that spoke to my

skills of being a leader, and through time and practice I found a great outlet for that. The reason I

use this mask is to build up the community at the store where I work as an event planner. It has

to be warm enough that guests feel they have a connection with me, but professional enough that

they understand I have a job to do. I mostly use this mask when I host special events at work like

Free Comic Book Day, holiday events, and my monthly board game meetups. I create, market,

and manage these events online and then host them at the board game store I work at. Because I

use my face to advertise them on my accounts, participants expect to see me there as a guide to

help them integrate into the event. I get a lot of shy guests who join us and I have to use this
friendly hostess mask to make them feel welcome. When I present this mask to a newcomer at

one of these events, I want them to feel welcome. I want to be friendly but authoritative, so that

people can feel comfortable asking me any questions they might have, but also so that no one has

to worry about feeling shy. Often, I’ll be assigning people into groups or recommending games,

and when I can I’ll participate so people have a familiar face to connect with. My biggest

concern is to make sure that people are having fun and that they feel welcome.

I have to admit, wearing this mask is exhausting. Not only do I have to interact with a lot

of people, but I have to keep my positivity up, and I can't just hide in a corner and take a break.

Most of the time, people are looking to me for answers, assignments, or guidance, which can

create a lot of pressure to perform my duties well. Under all that pressure lies a very scared little

girl. I am so afraid I’ll fail. I’m afraid people will stop coming to events and it will be my fault

for not being welcoming enough. Sometimes, I’ll be hosting a very busy event, and in the back

of my mind I can’t stop thinking about a little problem; maybe I forgot to print out a flyer or

some instructions, or maybe I needed to confirm a certain person was coming and I neglected to

call them. Even if people are having a good time I’ll secretly dwell on the mistakes. Although

I’m an extroverted person, I can be incredibly shy if I’m feeling overwhelmed or overworked,

and I think that’s one of the biggest cracks that shows through my mask. I’ll want to try to make

sure people are being taken care of, but I often just don’t have it in me to talk to every single

attendee. This is what truly lies behind this mask: a shy, critical, tired, hard-on-myself force

that’s being smothered out so I can get the job done. If I didn’t wear this mask, my events

wouldn’t be spectacular. I’ve been told by friends who attend that a lot of this would fall apart if

I wasn't there. That it shows that I put a lot of work and passion into building these communities,
and I think that’s the most important thing I take away when I hang up the mask: that I worked

hard, I put on my best face, and that I did the best I could.

I’m not Fake, I’m Careful

Look, ask me anything. I’m an open book. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I’ll speak my

mind; maybe even overshare. I’m known for this. What I didn’t say is that, really, I’m only an

open book about others. I want to be trusted, and I want to keep secrets for you.

This is more of a paper mask, or one of those masks on a stick were you hold it up to

your face. This is not a mask that I hold on permanently, or even for long periods of time, but

just here and there when I need to. This is the face that says “I already know this secret your

telling me because my best friend already found out and told me, but I’ll pretend this is the first

time I’m hearing it because I don’t want to break that other friends trust”. I’m not being fake, I’m

being careful. I think a lot of people develop a similar mask, and it’s probably been in the works

since I understood what friends are and how to communicate with peers. I find myself wearing it

for bits and pieces at a time when communicating with friends. One of my close friends will spill

a lot to me and ask stuff like “Oh my gosh are you judging me? I know, I’m the worst huh.” and

I don’t tell her that maybe I think she should be making better decisions, because that’s not what

she wants to hear. She wants someone to nod and joke and make her feel better, and honestly,

most of the time I’m not in the mood to be confrontational anyway. I can be cynical sometimes,

and this mask really helps me hold on to my friendships, and screen what I say before it comes

out of my mouth.
 Behind this mask I store a lot of my more judgemental aspects. I don’t want to hurt others

feelings, and I know that it’s not my place to judge. Sometimes I’m upset with someone, but it’s

just not the time to bring it up. I’d rather keep my long lasting friendships then throw them all

away because I said something stupid or careless. I’ve seen what happens when I don’t wear this

mask. I get into trouble. I’ve upset a friend enough that she didn't talk to me for months. I’ve

learned from not wearing this mask that sometimes, I just don't have all the facts. I am not some

high and mighty friend who needs to impose my opinions and truths onto everyone. It’s just

better if I can be a good listener, filter information to hold onto, and keep it for myself. This isn’t

me just being a people pleaser, this is me learning to be a good friend to trust, and someone who

doesn’t casually cause conflicts. This mask has saved more than a few of my friendships, and has

helped me learn not to pass judgement before I know the facts.