Revision Exhibit - Paper 2 Introduction

Overall Analysis

In my Revision Exhibit, I have chosen the introduction of my Paper 2 essay,

analyzing the themes of the story Bartleby, the Scrivener. I spent a great deal of time

editing and revising this part of my essay as it began as a poor introduction to the

argument I made in the rest of my essay. Most of the time, when I write my essays, I

am laser focused on the body paragraphs and the argument I am trying to make in

these body paragraphs to prove my thesis. I rarely worried about what I would write

in my introduction or conclusion as I believed these were an afterthought. However,

after my struggle with this introduction, I had a revelation that the introduction is vital

piece of my essay. In this introduction's early drafts, I failed miserably to connect the

two main ideas I would later explore in my essay. This lack of connection led to an

inferior understanding of my main argument that followed in my body paragraphs. By

my final draft however, I vastly improved the connection I needed to make in my

introduction, which in turn led to a greater understanding of my argument in my body

paragraphs to follow with out changing them at all. This revision of my introduction is

what led me to understand the grand significance an introduction can have on the

rest of an essay.

Key:

Deletion

Addition (From previous draft)

Change/Rewording

Draft 1

The story “Bartleby, the Scrivener” by Herman Melville introduced an

abundance of literary discussion revolving its titular character. “Bartleby, the

Scrivener” interprets the actions or rather nonactions of its m 6ain character,

Bartleby, through the perspective of the narrator of the story: the lawyer.

Bartleby begins a new job for the lawyer; the task being to copy by hand important

legal documents. In the beginning, the lawyer believes Bartleby a hard worker with a

strong work ethic. However, suddenly, Bartleby discontinues his task at the

bewilderment of the lawyer. Bartleby gives no rationale for his unexpected halt of

labor other than one phrase, which he repeats when prompted to continue working: “I

would prefer not to” (Melville 24). The rest of the story continues with the lawyers

failed attempts at understanding Bartleby and the logic behind his inaction.

In the end, we are given no answers on why Bartleby discontinued his work, which

leads to the numerous interpretations by literary scholars to define Bartleby’s

intentions and reasoning. One aspect that Melville explores throughout the short

story is the definition of trash and the devaluation of objects from one of importance

to one of waste and uselessness. During our class discussion trash was defined as

“an object considered to have no value by a person or group.” Melville’s depiction of

Bartleby and his lack of insight into his own intentions leaves the interpretation of

Bartleby’s purpose in the story up to the reader. Herman Melville in his short story,

“Bartleby, the Scrivener”, examines the definition of what waste is by portraying the

devaluation of objects from useful to those lacking a purpose with the

dehumanization of Bartleby and the allusion to ancient ruins.

Draft 1 Analysis

My draft 1 introduction for paper 2 had a few problems establishing my

argument and connecting all of the dots for all of the points I was trying to make with

my thesis. The opening sentence was an exceedingly broad claim that Melville's

story produced an abundance of literary discussion. I failed to backup this claim with

evidence as well which made the sentence bland and useless. In the second draft I

decided to cut that sentence out and begin with the following sentence. As I

continued through my introduction, I attempted to provide context for the reader with

a brief synopsis of the story. I believed it was necessary to develop my argument

later in the paper, however, through my teacher's advice, I was told to assume that
the reader's were fellow literary scholars with an understanding of the major plot

points of the story. This synopsis took up a large portion of my introduction, so when

I decided to scrap it entirely, I had to add some more meat to the bones in my draft 2

introduction. This introduction was very rough to begin with little introduction of my

argument and various, unconnected ideas that loosely related back to my thesis.

Draft 2

“Bartleby, the Scrivener” interprets the actions or rather nonactions of its main

character, Bartleby, through the perspective of the narrator of the story: the lawyer.

This limited perspective is what creates the mystique behind who Bartleby is.

With the perspective of just the lawyer, we are given no insight into the mind of

Bartleby and his intentions. In the end, no answers on why Bartleby discontinued

his work are explained, which leads to the numerous interpretations by literary

scholars to define Bartleby’s intentions and reasoning. One aspect that Melville

explores throughout the short story is the definition of trash and the devaluation of

objects from one of importance to one of waste and uselessness. During our class

discussion trash was defined as “an object considered to have no value by a person

or group.” This theme of waste emphasizes the problem of having a limited

perspective of just the lawyer without any insight from Bartleby himself.

Melville’s depiction of Bartleby and his lack of insight into his own intentions leaves

the interpretation of Bartleby’s purpose in the story up to the reader. Herman Melville

in his short story, “Bartleby, the Scrivener”, examines the definition of what waste is

by portraying the devaluation of objects from useful to those lacking a purpose with

the dehumanization of Bartleby and the allusion to ancient ruins. The short story,

"Bartleby, the Scrivener", analyzes the symbolism of waste, seen in the

dehumanization of Bartleby and the allusion to ancient ruins, in order to

emphasize the limited perspective of the lawyer.

Draft 2 Analysis
 Like I discussed before, because of the omission of the plot summary from the

last draft, I needed to add a few more points to better introduce my argument. My

goal for this draft was to better connect the various, loose points I started to

introduce such as the problem of perspective in the story and how that links with

Bartleby's transition from an object of value to an object of waste or uselessness. I

added two sentences after the opening sentence to improve the understanding of the

problem of perspective we see in the story. However, in this draft, I still fail to

connect the perspective problem to the dehumanization of Bartleby and his transition

as a character in the story. Draft 2 improves upon the understanding of the two

points and is a superior introduction to these ideas than the first draft, however, it still

feels like two separate points rather than two interconnected ideas like it should be. I

decided to scrap the unproven claim that Melville's lack of conclusion in the end led

to literary discussion. Finally, I decided to omit the second to last sentence in my

introduction as it feels like a wordy, repetition of ideas that are discussed in the last

sentence anyway.

Draft 3

The notion that an object is trash or waste is in the eye of the beholder.

Nowhere is this idea more prevalent than in Herman Melville's 19th century

short story Bartleby, the Scrivener. This short story interprets the actions or rather

non-actions of its main character, Bartleby, through the perspective of the narrator of

the story: the lawyer. This limited perspective is what creates the mystique behind

who Bartleby is. With the perspective of just the lawyer, we are given no insight into

the mind of Bartleby and his intentions. In the end, no answers on why Bartleby

discontinued his work are explained. The perspective problem seen in the short

story emphasizes this idea that an object is only considered to be waste if the

beholder sees it as waste. Melville explores the theme of the definition of trash and

the devaluation of objects from one of importance to one of waste and uselessness

through the limited perspective created with the main characters.

This theme of waste emphasizes the problem of having a limited perspective of just

the lawyer without any insight from Bartleby himself. Melville’s depiction of Bartleby

and his lack of insight into his own intentions leaves the interpretation of Bartleby’s

purpose in the story up to the reader. The short story, Bartleby, the Scrivener,

analyzes the symbolism of waste, seen in the dehumanization of Bartleby and the

allusion to ancient ruins, in order to emphasize the limited perspective of the lawyer.

Draft 3 Analysis

In my final draft, my overall goal was to still better connect the two points that I

have already introduced in my previous two drafts: the perspective problem and how

that emphasizes the transition Bartleby takes as a character. However, my first task

was to improve the opening of the introduction, as in my first two drafts, the opening

sentences were bland and didn't hook the reader into the essay. So I added two

sentences that provide a little context to the ideas and themes I will be exploring in

my essay. In order to connect the two points I have already introduced, I added a

sentence in the middle of the introduction that clearly states the relationship that the

two seemingly unconnected points have in the context of my essay. This sentence

also acts as a bridge to the hook that I began my introduction with. As I continue, to

reinforce the two connected points of my essay, I added a phrase to again

reemphasize the importance of this connection after a sentence explaining how

Melville explores the definition of waste. Finally, a small formatting error that I

corrected was changing the formatting of the title of the story from in quotations to

italicized to match up with the correct MLA format for a short story's title.