Why you need to be a bitch

My name is Tabatha Coffey and I’m a bitch. That’s right, you heard it here first. So,
show me your hands who you think you are a bitch. Oh, we need to work on that. by
the end of this talk I want every hand up in proud in this audience, all of you. So 10
years ago, I was lucky enough to 4 tv and I say I felt into it because I really did. I tried
out for competitive show,…., hair dresser. And it was rough, it was 12 weeks, living
away from business, away from your family. Locked in a house with 11 strangers, you
go with them 24/7. It was an amazing experience, I loved it. And I incredible
competitive like almost of you. When I was over, I went home, went back to my
business, went back on with my life. And a couple weeks went by and my client went
through I was on TV, I was competing. Couple more weeks went by, it was properly
around 4 weeks in, I was in Northtrrum, buying a pair of shoses and crossed the mall a
woman looked and “Oh my god! You are that bitch on TV”. I did not laugh as all of
you are. I do now but not then. It was so funny. I was absolutely mostified. Look! It’s
not the first time I have been called a bitch. It’s definitely not gonna be the last time.
But from a stranger that recognised me and was yelling across the mall, that I was that
bitch on TV really stopped me on my tracks and was just amazing. …. It kept
happening, And happening (x5) and I went down the rabbit hole of reading a blog and
reading what people was saying about me, literally thousands of people who was
calling me a bitch. And to say it was paralizing… I was paralied by it because I’m
tough, I’m honest, I’m strong and I’m overqualities that we all should have to be a
sucessful business woman but I did not view myself as a bitch whatsoever. So I had to
sit down and really reflected on what happen to my people who calling me a bitch, to
my people who with thinking that it was okay to go up to complete straight“you are
that bitch” I know now it ‘s kinda cool to be a bitch. Now it kinda cool but even
though it’s cool now and to say with our friends “hey bitch! How ya doing?” we
hashtag on instagram “bitch is in an ouffit”, we throw the world around like it means
nothing but if any of you have been called a bitch by someone with you know them
with their (whether) it is colleague, whether it is a friend, whether it is a random
stranger. it’s hurt. There is the moment you feel like a knife going into your heart, and
it’s hurt. The thing, the interesting that we talked about it all the time, there’s a book
about it, a song about it, if you are the strong woman, if you speak with a theory, if
you don’t bound down to people, if you speak your mind, if you have a healthy…. if
you have an ego, if you are really confident and if you are really passionate. You’re a
bitch. But those quality in a man make him a ……, a great executive, someone you
want on a team, someone really dependable and would take care the problem. Maybe
he’s a president. but those quality in us as women, get us called bitches. The biggest
problem to me with that it is we do it to each others, we called each others bitches, and
it’s not in a cute instagram way: “bitch is an ouffit”,”I’m with my bitches”. It’s not in
the cute way. It means “let me tear you down and put you in your box” kind of way
because that words that I looked and I searched, they is not an ……..they isn’t. And it
suppose to deem your life and make you not as confident and make you stop and make
you………yourself a little bit, wonder if you are doing the right thing “should I be
doing a something else?”I dont know. That’s what it does toyour head and we can
laugh it off as we are now, but we still know it is hurt. And when we do it to our sisters
and I mean our sisters who are women. It’s wrong. How many times have you walked
down out of meeting, walked away from maybe doing school ….or going out to a
cocktail party. And then there is woman…..”she is such a bitch”. Then really maybe
she wasn’t maybe she was just alittle bit more honest than you. Maybe she just
demanded what she wanted and made no apologies and excuses for it. if she’s a bitch,
because she has a better pair of shoes than you. Is that way you calling a bitch? Is
that way we do it for each other because we are a little bit jealous, and we just want to
cut each other down a little bit? Because we are not helping each other. we need to
promote growth and gain ….. we need to stop cutting each other down as women
when I was looked every single woman and I’ve met hundreds of thousands because
i’ve been a hairdresser for 36 years time. I had women in my chair. Every single time
and the reason I am so passionate about what I do is because I understand. I don’t
understand man that well because im not one. But women, I understand us I
understand……,I understand how hard we work, I understand that everyone wants us
to be perfect all the time and that is really really exhausting. I understand that we
when on a date or we go to a party. or we go to a work event or we just get up in the
morning. There’s pressure on us and that’s without adding children and husband and
all the other people grabbing at us all the time. I guess that, and then I look at one of
my sisters “why am I going to call her a bitch?”. It’s like calling me a bitch. You are
doing it to yourself. When you look at another woman, you are looking in the mirror.
And let me tell you, the fact that we are women and we can produce life because there
are literally wouldn’t be any of us sitting here without woman .True. it’s
extraordinary. That’s extraordinary. To overcome being called a bitch all the time . I’d
like to face my fears. The way I dissolve them is to look right down …. And just take
care of them. So after my reflection, I just came up with an…. For what my version of
bitches and it’s brave, intelligent,…., creative and honest. And I define anyone of this
room, men or women that does not want qualities in their life. Every single woman in
here and every singleman, we are brave. We don’t need to go and slay the
dragons.sometime it’s just brave to get out of bed in the morning and face your day.
we are warriors. Intelligence to me is not about college degrees and book smarts.
That’s part of it but it also intuition . there is understanding, there is…… they are
qualities that women we excel that. Being… obviously. Have you ever messed with a
woman’s kid? I mean, seriously. We are… if we want something we don’t stop what
about a pair of shoes you’re lasting after and you cant afford them but…. Money
shows up and you got new kicks on. That’s…. creative is just looking at thing
differently. We great at that as a woman. We are the best…. We are creative. We find
way to not only find this money for the pair of shoes creatively that come out of
nowhere. but also take care of thing I think we must live our life, you know what and
I didn’t get that job how could I learn from it that’s not going if you think all about
thank you very much I am