Penelopiad Essay

by Anna Maynard

Submission date: 11-Dec-2018 07:26AM (UT C-0500)

Submission ID: 1055023942
File name: Penelopiad_Paper.docx (36.98K)
Word count: 823
Character count: 4036
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Penelopiad Essay
ORIGINALITY REPORT

13 %
SIMILARIT Y INDEX
0%
INT ERNET SOURCES
0%
PUBLICAT IONS
13%
ST UDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
Submitted to Charlotte Country Day High
School
8%
St udent Paper

2
Submitted to Conestoga High School
St udent Paper 5%

Exclude quotes Of f Exclude matches Of f

Exclude bibliography On
Penelopiad Essay
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

56
PAGE 1
/60

Comment 1
the Maids' Dominion...? sometimes titles are better without prepositions.

Comment 2
how about an opening hook?

QM C/S
Comma splice:
A sentence must have both a subject and a main verb in order to be complete, but it cannot
have more than one subject or main verb. A comma splice is a variety of run-on sentence that
occurs when two complete sentences, each with its own subject and verb, are joined mistakenly
by a comma. T here are generally three methods of correcting this problem: 1) Replace the
comma with a stronger mark of punctuation such as a period or semicolon, 2) use a
coordinating conjunction ("and," "but," "or," "nor") to join the two constructions, or 3) make one
of the two sentences a dependent construction by linking it to the other with a subordinating
conjunction ("if ," "when," "so that," "although," "because") or relative pronoun ("that," "which,"
"who," "whom," "whose").

Sp. T his word is misspelled. Use a dictionary or spellchecker when you proof read your work.

Comment 3
are you suggesting then they made mistakes?

Comment 4
keep it present
 Comment 5
nice...solid thesis.

Comment 6
they don't "attack" him. remember to write literally.

Comment 7
How does this apply?

Article Error You may need to remove this article.

Comment 8
no comma

Prep. You may be using the wrong preposition.

Comment 9
nice phrasing!

Missing "," You may need to place a comma af ter this word.

Article Error You may need to remove this article.

PAGE 2

Comment 10
cliche

Comment 11
the maids cause this? do you have proof to support this claim?

Prep. You may be using the wrong preposition.

Comment 12
are you suggesting that revenge and justice are the same?
 Comment 13
hmmm really......

Missing "," You may need to place a comma af ter this word.

Comment 14
transf ers

PAGE 3

Comment 15
I get you're trying to get the "so what" but it comes across a bit f orced. Your essay is not
about making decisions...so this lacks continuity.

You make some great claims, and support them with pretty good evidence. I think you could
organize your thoughts a bit more. In places this is repetitive, and could be cut down to meet
the 2 page requirement.

I see that you are working hard to incorporate what we've talked about on the past essays;
good job. Keep up that ef f ort.

PAGE 4
RUBRIC: 9 TH-12TH GRADE ANALYSIS

CLAIM/FOCUS Prof icient

Claim and Focus: Make a clear claim about the text(s) early in the essay and f ocus on proving it.

ADVANCED T he essay makes a clear claim about the purpose, ef f ectiveness, or message of the
text(s) based on the strategies, techniques, or devices of the text(s). T he essay
maintains f ocus on analyzing the text(s), using the whole essay to develop the claim
and thoroughly address the demands of the prompt.

PROFICIENT T he essay makes a clear claim about the purpose, ef f ectiveness, or message of the
text(s). T he essay maintains a f ocus on the text(s), but may stray at times f rom
developing the claim. If more than one text is being analyzed, the essay demonstrates
a good balance between or among the texts and addresses the demands of the
prompt.

DEVELOPING T he essay makes a claim about the text(s), but may not connect the claim to the
strategies, techniques, or devices of the text(s). T he essay may maintain f ocus on
the text(s), but not the analysis (or vice versa). If more than one text is being
analyzed, the writer may neglect one or more and may not f ully address the demands
of the prompt.

EMERGING T he essay does not have a claim about the text or about the strategies, techniques,
or devices of the text(s), but may instead of f er overly general f acts as a claim. T he
essay does not develop a claim throughout the essay and does not address the
demands of the prompt.

ANALYSIS/EVID Prof icient

Analysis and Evidence: Choose the right evidence and analyze the evidence's purpose and ef f ect.

ADVANCED T he essay cites the most appropriate and valid evidence to support its claim and f ully
explains how the evidence cited leads to the message or purpose of the text(s). T he
essay demonstrates insightf ul reasoning and f ull understanding of the strategies of
the text(s).

PROFICIENT T he essay cites appropriate evidence to support its claim and f ollows up evidence
with explanations of how it works to achieve the author's message. Summary, if
present, is balanced with analysis. T he essay demonstrates some reasoning and a
basic understanding of the text's or texts' strategies.

DEVELOPING T he essay relies too heavily on summary and of f ers only vague analysis to support
its claim and evidence is not f ollowed up with analysis. T he essay demonstrates very
little reasoning, and instead includes assertions about the text's or texts' strategies.

EMERGING T he essay does not use evidence f rom the text(s) f or the purpose of analysis. T he
essay may incorporate summary without analysis, neglecting to f ocus on the
f eatures of the text(s).

ORGANIZ AT ION Developing

Organization: Include an engaging introduction and strong conclusion. Use transitions throughout the
essay to make connections clear.

ADVANCED T he essay incorporates ef f ective transitions and an organizational structure that

enhances the analysis. T he essay includes an ef f ective introductory paragraph and a
concluding paragraph.

PROFICIENT T he essay's transitions and structure make it clear and easy to f ollow. T he essay
includes an introductory paragraph or statement, as well as a concluding paragraph
or statement.

DEVELOPING T he essay's transitions and structure may interf ere with a f ull understanding of the
writer's claim. T he essay includes an attempt at an introduction/introductory
statement and/or conclusion/concluding statement.

EMERGING T he lack of transitions and structure make the essay hard to f ollow. T he essay is
missing an introduction or conclusion of any kind.

LANG/ST YLE Prof icient

Language and Style: Use specif ic, interesting language and clear sentence structure to communicate ideas.

ADVANCED T he essay has an established, f ormal style and objective tone that is maintained
throughout. T he essay uses mostly correct, varied sentence structure and uses
precise language and domain-specif ic vocabulary in a way that addresses the
complexity of the topic. Few errors are present, and they do not interf ere with
meaning.

PROFICIENT T he essay has an established, f ormal style that is maintained throughout. T he essay
uses mostly correct, varied sentence structure and generally uses precise language
and domain-specif ic vocabulary in way that generally addresses the complexity of the
topic. T he essay may have some errors, but they do not interf ere with meaning.

DEVELOPING T he essay attempts to establish a f ormal style that may not be maintained
throughout. T he essay attempts to vary sentence structure and uses some precise
language that may be domain-specif ic at times in a way that may address the
complexity of the topic inconsistently. T he essay contains some errors that may, at
times, interf ere with meaning.

EMERGING T he essay does not establish and/or maintain a f ormal style. T he essay uses little
variety in sentence structure, and the language is general and not domain-specif ic.
T he essay contains errors that interf ere with meaning.