Angelica Montiel

Literary Analysis
Word Count 1495

The Fear of Your Skin

As seen by Ta-Nehisi Coates in ​Between the World and Me

If you're fortunate enough you may end up having the luxury to walk down the street

feeling comfortable in your own skin. ​Some people who are not as fortunate cannot endure this

lack of safety. ​Under the white standard being black means that you are automatically set as an

outcast.​ S
​ ince the beginning of America, black people have been targets of slavery while white

people were the slave owners. They were treated as if they did not belong in America, even

though they are American. ​Ta-Nehisi Coates, author of ​Between the World and Me, ​feels that

since he is black, his body is automatically unsafe on the very streets he grew up. ​Between the

World and Me​ is a letter addressed to Coates' son, Samori, filled with advice on life experiences,

and the overarching fear of his body being degraded. Coates was raised to believe that the black

body is always under threat. He talks about the fear for his body, and ​how it can be seen as

property to the police. ​The United States devalues the African American race because of its

history, believing that it is okay to be crude. This is the land of the free and home of the brave,

where freedom is subject to race.

Ta-Nehisi Coates was born and raised in Baltimore. He lived in a community where

police brutality and power abuse was normal. One of the many fears that Coates’ expresses is the

fear of the lack of protection. Coates had to learn how to “survive the neighborhoods and shield

my body...I memorized a list of prohibited blocks. I learned the smell and feel of fighting
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weather...I recall learning these laws clearer than I recall learning my colors and shapes, because

these laws were essential to the security of my body” (Coates 23-24). You survive through the

language taught on the streets. It gives you a certain kind of power that is crucial for survival.

Coates wants something different for his son. He wants him to be free from the rules and the fear

of his body. Coates tells his son “Here is what I would like for you to know: In America, it is

traditional to destroy the black body-​it is heritage”​(103). He was taught to be afraid of higher

powers and of white people because they all threatened the safety of his body and made him an

outsider. The color of his skin caused his fear. Instead of loving his body, he presses himself and

is always on edge. Later on in the book, he reveals that he regrets the pressing and the over

security of his body.

The police is one of Coates’ biggest threats. Where he is from the police have always

been brutal and unfair. He wanted to be safe and made it his mission to protect his body at all

costs because according to him “the spirit and the soul are the body and the brain, which are

destructible- that is precisely why they are so precious” (103). The police abuse their power,

think in a biased manner, and are able to pull the trigger on a person of color without second

guessing. Typically and in most cases, the police do not get prosecuted or charged with any kind

of murder or fatality. They steal and strip bodies of their human and constitutional rights. Coates

has always been worried about the police and took extra precaution, yet he was still affected by

police brutality. The police shot and killed Prince Jones. Prince was a friend of Coates from

Howard University. Prince was murdered by a police officer from the PG County Police

Department. Prince was followed all the way into Virgina and was shot in front of his fiance's

house. Prince left his daughter without a father, and his fiancee without a lover. It was all taken
 2

away without reason and because of that, Coates was terrified. He was scared of this system

where people of color could be killed and where lives were ruined, and it was never a big deal in

the judicial system. He knew that what happened to his friend could happen to him or his

beloved son because as mentioned “The destroyers will rarely be held accountable. Mostly they

will receive pensions...All of this is common to black people. And all of this is for old black

people. No one is held responsible” (9). It is real, and he never doubted that it wasn’t.

Coates is convinced that white people are a very serious threat to the safety of his body.

White people, also known as the dreamers, just want to live their happy life, where no harm is

brought to them. The color of their skin measured their happiness: White privilege. At the

beginning of the 20th century, the predominant race in America was white people with 87% of

the population. The rest of the population is built up by minorities, which were mostly black

people that had lived in the south as slaves. The number of whites shrunk a little by the end of

the 20th century to a 75% with the rest being hispanic or black. This has created inequality

within racial and social class groups and has created the fear that Coates’ endures within himself.

Coates expresses “ ‘The two great divisions of society are not the rich and poor, but white and

black’ said the great South Carolina senator John C. Calhoun. ‘And all the former, the poor as

well as the rich, belong to the upper class, and are respected and treated as equals’. And there it

is--the right to break the black body as a meaning of their sacred equality” (104). They threaten

Coates’ body because they do not care to change in their ways. Coates specifiecies it to be “to

grow rich and live in one of those disconnected houses out in the country, in one of those small

communities...where they staged teen movies and children built treehouses, and in that last lost

year before college, teenagers made love in their cars parked at the lake. The Dream seemed to
 3

be the end of the world for me, the height of american ambition” (116). Equality is not the

dreamers priority, so there is no change.

Towards the end of the book, Coates acknowledges that he is a threat to himself by not

liberating himself from the fear he has within. It has also become a threat to his son, ​Samori. ​He

wants a different life for his son, not wanting his child to grow with fear yet with curiosity. He

wants his child to soar further than he could have ever imagined. Coates tells his son that his

“route must be different. It must be. You knew things at eleven I did not know when I was

twenty-five. When I was eleven my highest priority was the simple security of my body... But

already you have expectations, I see that in you. Survival and safety are not enough” (129-130).

He doesn't want to threaten his son with his own insecurities. Coates did not think he would ever

travel, he said “it had never occured to me to leave America--not even temporarily” (117).

Coates has hope for Samori to be astonishing, living without terror or any shackles holding him

down, preventing him from achieving success and from discovering the world.

This book showed Coates’ evolution through the fear of his body. Toward the end, we

see how he developed a different mindset and he tells us how he wished he did not live with so

much fear in his everyday life. He could never be at ease, and was always on his toes. Coates did

not want the same for his son, and so he apologized to him for trying to oppress him the way that

Coates had to be, “I wanted you to have your own life, apart from fear--even apart from me. I am

wounded. I am marked by old codes, which shielded me in one world and chained me in the

next...And I am now ashamed of the thought, ashamed of my fear, of the generational chains I

tried to clasp on your wrists” (125). Even though he wants change for his son and the country, he

doesn't tell us whether it will get better because he doesn't know better. No one does, no one
 4

knows how the world will be like in the next couple of years. The body has been reduced to an

unreasonable question: Will racism still be infiltrating America? Or will we, as a country, finally

learn to live as human beings and not by the color of your skin. Will fear still flow through the

black body, and other minorities? Shown by Coates’ threats with the black body, I can empathize

with Coates and agree that everyone of any color or race needs to be treated equally, and not to

be treated less than another person.

Works Cited

Coates, Ta-Nehisi. ​Between the World and Me.​ Reclam, 2015.

Morley, Jefferson. “‘The Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.’” ​The Globalist,​ 4 July

2013, ​www.theglobalist.com/the-land-of-the-free-and-the-home-of-the-brave/​.

Pollard, Kelvin M, and William P O'Hare. “America's Racial and Ethnic Minorities.” ​Population

Reference Bureau​, Population Reference Bureau, 1 Sept. 1999,

www.prb.org/americasracialandethnicminorities/​.
 5

Angelica Montiel
Bourdain Eulogy
Word Count ​1494
Sacred Sundays

Anthony Bourdain's Impact on My Life

One really hot sunday afternoon, my parents and I went to the pool to cool off. We made

some food and spent quality time together; this, was our Sacred Sunday Ritual. My father would

be outside on the grill making carne asada and grilling some vegetables while mother would be

in the kitchen heating up some tortillas and making her guacamole. My job would be to set up

the table and to make iced tea. Something I’m not good at seeing as how that would usually look

like me sitting down watching the TV. Typically it would be on my dad's favorite chanel, CNN.

Once the food was ready we’d gather around our big glass dining table and ate. Shortly after we

would make our way to the couch. The sky, setting into a pink abyss, while the wind was coming

from the back door, blowing into our faces. Finally the moment we had been waiting for had

arrived. ​Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown​ came on, which was probably the most important

part of our ritual for our Sundays together.

We were watching the episode where he went to South Korea. We were all engulfed by

the way he immersed himself into their culture and food. At some point throughout the episode

he began to eat a traditional Korean soup containing noodles and spam. My dad was confused

and a bit disgusted, but Bourdain ate with such pleasure. He always ate whatever would be

offered, confident in most situations. Something I admired about him. Tony roamed around the

streets of Seoul where he met some karaoke loving businessmen, sipped on some soju and ate

great street food. Bourdain said “My Mission, for purposes of television, is to ingratiate myself
 6

with a group of total strangers, insinuate myself in their lives...In Korean business culture, this

would be a regular thing. ‘A one night corporate retreat’ if you will” (Parts Unknown: Korea

16:12 - 16:41). His curiosity and desire to explore made him the kind of guy who likes to dive

head first into risky situations, the guy who was always up for an adventure.

There are many travel shows out there but none reach depth that Bourdain did. He would

take us off the beaten path; it wasn’t always the prettiest or the cleanest but that was the charm.

There are many travel bloggers who go out in the world that document about their whereabouts

but do so in such a shallow way, only really focusing on the leasure. Nothing I’ve seen really

compares to the work of Anthony Bourdain. On an interview I once saw that he did with with

Trevor Noah he stated that “Curiosity is a virtue” (The Daily Show with Trevor Noah 2:55 -

2:59) showcasing how he was an inquisitive man. Showing us places beyond our imagination.

He traveled because he was curious to explore, not to relax and take pictures for Social Media.

He was authentic, something we do not really see these days. Tony was straightforward and

showed us what was really out there, part of the reason we were so intrigued by him.

Anthony Bourdain’s audience always experienced an array of emotions. We all felt

worried for him on his endeavors but also felt happy seeing all of the really cool adventures he

was on. His audience could see all of these new horizons, truely feel like they are there traveling

with him all while never leaving the comfort of their couches. I remember watching the episode

on when he went to Manila, Philippines. It was Christmas time a time of joy and rejoicement yet

they were still facing constant flooding and chaos around the city. Tony talks about how in

Filipino culture one of the main and presumably most important priorities is family. Through this

episode Bourdain shows how the holidays have this ability to bring everyone together, more than
 7

usual. “Filipinos speak about home with immense pride and love, and if your a filipino overseas

worker, longing, especially during the holidays. It’s always always about family in the

philippines, or wherever you find filipinos” (Parts Unknown: Manila 36:43 - 37:20 ). Whether

you are near or far family matters, love matters. Even though Manila was going through a

relatively hard time he still went on and documented what he could to capture the essence of the

people and their culture. In this episode I recall him saying “But is it even a Manila show? I

don’t know. I think we got a little slice of the filipino character, which maybe is what this show

is all about” ( Parts Unknown: Manila 0:37- 0:55). What I loved most about this episode was that

he showed us that it is not always about the place or the food or the culture, but it is about the

people that make the location truly shine. He showed us how people in other cultures are very

different, but staying connected to our roots is a vital part of many cultures around the world.

In my class we were introduced to Bourdain’s book ​Kitchen Confidential, Adventures in

the Culinary Underbelly.​ Reading the book​ w

​ as very distinct than anything I had ever read

before because it helped me look at the culinary world in a new lens. He talks about the do’s and

don'ts of eating in a restaurant. Like how you’re not supposed to eat fish on a Monday, and about

his own personal growth within the kitchen and his life. Bourdain was a man who sacrificed a lot

he showed us the world in ​Parts Unknown;​ but also as he had to go through great efforts to get to

the places he wanted to go. He grew to be a selfless man, as in his book Bourdain states “Never

having had a Friday or Saturday night off, always working holidays, being busiest when the rest

of the world is just getting out of work, makes for a sometimes peculiar world-view, which I

hope my fellow chefs and cooks will recognize. The restaurant lifers who read this may or may

not like what I'm doing. But they'll know I'm not lying” (Bourdain 3). I think this book was a
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great way for him to connect with his audience. To shine perspective and give us insight into his

life and show us a bit of where he comes from. He shows us his roots and why his background

matters now, because he was never that daring or adventurous. He became that way.

We will all remember the day he passed, as it was different for each of us. For me, I was

in school dreading my class work, and it was almost time to graduate. My mother had called me

and informed me about the bad news. She said she he had died while he was in France filming a

new episode of ​Parts Unknown.​ I was distraught, it was a loss for me and to the world. He

touched so many people and left a lasting impression to this world. I remember thinking to

myself about our Sacred Sundays. I wondered what we were going to do now, thinking about

how it wasn't going to be the same. I thought about his family, his little girl. He always showed

us the importance of family and bringing everyone together. I rushed home after school and

planted myself in front of the TV and sat there for the rest of the day.

My parents and I naturally, without even discussing it, slowly turned that sad Friday night

to our Sacred Sunday. My dad was on the grill, my mom in the kitchen making the guacamole as

I sat and watched the news. My parents went to the jacuzzi to cool off, but I needed to stay right

where I was. The sky started to turn pink when we all gathered around the TV to watch

Anderson Cooper give his emotional tribute to Bourdain on CNN. We mourned the loss by

celebrating with him as we would in life. He was such a legend and icon; something he will

remain as in my eyes forever. His passing encouraged me and my family to travel that little bit

more, to be more curious about the world, and to be a bit more adventurous with life. But It also

brought us together, taught it is the importance of being with each other. Tony brought my

family closer in our Sacred Sundays as he did so many others through the food he ate and the
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places he brought us. We never know when we could lose one another. Anthony Bourdain was

selfless as he showed us the world sacrificing his personal life to do so. Because of him people

now have an idea on how to travel, how to really see the world. We got to experience it it

through his lens something I will always cherish, looking through with intention, curiosity, and

love.

Works Cited

Bourdain, Anthony, et al. ​Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly​. Ecco,

2018.

Bourdain, Anthony. “Korea.” ​Explore Parts Unknown,​

explorepartsunknown.com/destination/korea/​.

Bourdain, Anthony. “Manila.” ​Explore Parts Unknown,​

explorepartsunknown.com/destination/manila/​.

Fernando. “Anthony Bourdain Visited Tijuana and This Is How That Went.” ​SanDiegoRed,​

www.sandiegored.com/en/news/164697/Anthony-Bourdain-Visited-Tijuana-and-This-Is-

How-That-Went.

“Anthony Bourdain Parts Unknown S05 - Ep01 Korea HD Watch - Dailymotion Video.”

Dailymotion,​ Dailymotion, 4 Sept. 2018,​ ​www.dailymotion.com/video/x6t2rjp​.

“Anthony Bourdain Parts Unknown S07 - Ep 01 Manila, Philippines HD Watch - Dailymotion

Video.” ​Dailymotion​, Dailymotion, 11 Sept. 2018,​ ​www.dailymotion.com/video/x6tgzvs​.

Rosarito Beach Videos. “Anthony Bourdain Visits Rosarito Popotla.” ​YouTube,​ YouTube, 8

Aug.
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2012,​ ​www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9Lvc76ft0c​.

The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. “Anthony Bourdain - Telling Stories Through Food on ‘Parts

Unknown’ The Daily Show.” ​YouTube​, YouTube, 9 July 2018,

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9s7HySExCoc​.
 11

Angelica Montiel
Frida Kahlo Rebel
Word Count 1000

Berrinchuda Pero Bien Chula

Frida Kahlo’s Revolutionary Life

I find myself often thinking of the many ways to describe Frida Kahlo. It's difficult to

put labels onto such an icon such as herself. Kahlo has always been a very prominent and

powerful figure in my life as she was so fearless and independent, a figure I find myself admiring

from time to time. Frida Kahlo was a strong, seductive, intelligent, creative, and such a unique

woman. Growing up with her art and legacy constantly surrounding my culture and family life,

coming from a background of many artists within the family. I remember at eight years old going

to my first exhibit where she was featured, and it was based on powerful and inspirational

women in art. At the moment I still had not known who she was but upon seeing her art for the

first time an interest had sparked, leaving me infatuated with her style of art and the way that she

expressed herself through it. Frida was a free spirit who loved life, but more importantly she had

loved her self.

Frida Kahlo is an exquisite representation of love; loving herself, others, and life. She

loved her husband, Diego Rivera, unconditionally. Incorporating him as inspiration into many of

her paintings. Kahlo loved herself and created such a distinctive image for her style imbedding

her persona into her work never changing her style. She was always so unique compared to other
 12

women from her generation. She had the fullest and thickest brows, draped herself in the most

colorful traditional Mexican outfits, and her hair was wrapped up in braids full of flowers. Frida

did not care about what others thought of her, she always expressed herself in such a vibrant

manner, always staying true to herself.

Most of her paintings were self portraits typically depicting her in a state of pain. She

once said that “I never paint dreams or nightmares. I paint my own reality.” She transformed her

sorrow into beautiful pieces of art. The painting that resonates with me the most is the ​Broken

Column​ ​which is an oil on masonite painting. The painting was created in 1944 after having a

spinal surgery due to an unfortunate incident where she had been ran over by a trolley. I love this

painting because she looks so beautiful yet so broken, as she has an actual column painted as her

spine that appears to be cracked It shows how strong she was even though she was very ill. You

can see the tears in her eyes yet still showing a glimpse of her tenacity extruding through a slight

smirk on her lips. She always made herself look so beautiful in all of her paintings, although they

were a representation of pain. Frida never let her pain get in the way of her passion, rather she

would incorporate it into her craft. I think of my grandmother through this painting. Thinking

about how she would be sick and still painting or or attending her exhibitions. And, just like

frida, always had little tequila nearby and a cigarette to accompany it. Nothing could stop these

women from what they were destined to do, which was to create beautiful compositions.

There is so much power held within in the creation of her many self portraits. As she

once said “I paint self-portraits because I am so often alone, because I am the person I know

best”. She can love herself just as much as someone else would and acknowledges that being

alone is okay. Even through her pain and hardships Frida was always a strong woman. Her
 13

on-off husband Diego Rivera is a good example of her strength and will for love and

compassion. Diego had several wives in his lifetime but none of them were like Frida. They were

married for 10 years from 1929-1939 separating briefly until 1940 lasting until Frida's

unfortunate demise in 1954. Frida was always open about how her relationship with Diego was

really complicated and recalled that “There have been two great accidents in my life. One was

the trolley, and the other was Diego. Diego was by far the worst” Diego was always cheating on

Frida with other women, as shown in the 2002 movie ​Frida,​ Diego said “Sex is like pissing.

People take it much too seriously” and “It was just a fuck. I've given more affection in a

handshake”.

Diego was never able to really commit completely to Frida which brought her so much

pain and sadness but she was never afraid of him or thought she was less than him. As stated

before she knows her self worth. Furthermore in the same film, Frida said “​I’m not afraid of you,

panzon”. Even through their very complicated relationship, they still loved each other drawing

inspiration from each other. In her painting from 1949 called ​Diego and I ​is a self portrait but

includes Diego painted on her forehead, to represent that he is always on her mind. It shows that

he is a part of her and always will be. She painted this piece in anguish for Diego as he just had

an affair with a very famous and beautiful mexican film star, Maria Felix. She is shedding a

couple of tears and her body is almost completely wrapped by her hair. It shows that she is

comforting herself as he leaves her when when Diego couldnt and was not able to give her

loyalty.

Frida Kahlo was a wonderful woman, a woman full of life, pain and sorrow. She made

the most of her life in the way she knew best. Painting away her sorrows and creating beautiful
 14

work to free herself. It was her passion, and it shows in all of her paintings. She had gone

through a lot in life, ranging from the exorbitant amount of health complications to the loss of

her baby, becoming infertile shortly after. She became a very heavy drinker and smoker to cope

with her pain, but painting is what really healed her.

Works Cited

“Diego and I, 1949 by Frida Kahlo.” ​Henri Matisse​,​ ​www.fridakahlo.org/diego-and-i.jsp​.

“Diego Rivera Spouse, Biography, Children, Death, Other Facts.” ​Heightline,​ 11 Dec. 2018,

heightline.com/diego-rivera-spouse-biography-death/​.

“Frida Kahlo and Self Image by Alix Greenberg.” ​ArtSugar,​

artsugar.co/blogs/news/frida-kahlo-a-feminist-reading​.

“Frida Kahlo Quotes.” ​Henri Matisse​,​ ​www.fridakahlo.org/frida-kahlo-quotes.jsp​.

“Frida.” ​IMDb,​ IMDb.com,​ ​www.imdb.com/title/tt0120679/characters/nm0000547​.

Popova, Maria. “How Diego Rivera Met the Fierce Teenage Frida Kahlo and Fell in Love with

Her Years Later.” ​Brain Pickings​, 2 Oct. 2015,

www.brainpickings.org/2014/05/22/diego-rivera-frida-kahlo-meeting/​.
 15

“The Broken Column - Frida Kahlo - Google Arts & Culture.” ​Google,​ Google,

artsandculture.google.com/asset/the-broken-column/EgGMbMFBQrAe3Q​.

“The Broken Column, 1944 by Frida Kahlo.” ​Henri Matisse,​

www.fridakahlo.org/the-broken-column.jsp​.
 16

Angelica Montiel
3 BAMPFA Essays
Word Count 502

I've lost that disney feeling

I used to feel warmth and sunshine lay across my face as I ran through this wonderland
Used to
This land I know so well
I sometimes see this place in my dreams
But in my dreams
I see it differently than with my eyes
It’s dark
It’s morbid
It's dangerous
But when I wake up
I remember it as it is
A happy place
My happy place

I used to feel innocence run through my veins as I ran

Used to
I chanted these meaningless words that one day I would go against
I will never put a cigarette to my mouth
like my grandmother did so many times before
I will never take a shot of tequila
that my dad so desperately did one too many times
I will never smoke marijuana and end up a drug addict
like my uncle who’s been in prison 3 times
I will be good
I will be healthy
I will be happy
I will forever be the innocent child
 17

that used to roam through Disneyland

So hopelessly happy
So carefree

As I got older
I lost the vision I once had
I lost my parents somewhere in the park
I lost my mind to the obsession of wanting to grow up
I have always been the youngest
And the one who always acted her age
And enjoyed each age to its fullest

And the one who was always left out

Being the child I was

So caught up in a fantasy
I never had the urge to grow up
Used to
To be a grown up
To be the grown up I was going to be
One day
Soon enough

Now
I miss who I was
I wish I was not so lost
 18

I wish I would stop starting every sentence with ‘I’

I wish I could feel the rush that I used to feel running through the park
When I was younger
When nothing else mattered
I wish I could feel young again
I don't want this responsibility
I wish I hadn't lost that disney feeling
I wish I didn't need to feel the urge to be who I was

That feeling of falling asleep in the car on my way back home

12:32 am
Falling asleep with a big smile on my face
Reminiscing the day
Being happy
Ready to tackle whatever may come next
I sometimes wonder what my life would be like
If I didn't have the privilege to go to disneyland
All of the times that I did

Would it be easier for me to accept reality?

Would my childhood have been any less happier
like any other kid who didnt get to go?
I may never know

I am working on myself
Being healthy
Not bringing myself to bad habits
To feel like who I once was
Happy and carefree
Trying to dream and think of a better time
Rather than a dreadful one
I am on my way to feel it again
That disney feeling