See the Love Around You

We are sometimes quick to see the problems in our day and reluctant
to focus on the joy in our lives. Regardless of your relationship
status, think of the many people who love you and of the depth of
their love for you. Feeling loved and knowing that you are worthy of love
are necessary to creating or maintaining any relationship.
LANCE AND REBECCA were already married with a son when Lance enrolled
in law school. A professor warned that law school life had ended
more marriages than he could count. When he graduated, Lance was the
only student in his class still married to the same person.
It wasn’t easy. “There were days when he’d go to school and I’d just
cry,” Rebecca says. “I felt like Lance was in law school and I was kneedeep
in diapers. But that there wasn’t really a ‘we.’”
Their relationship continued in a state of wedded mediocrity after
law school. Then, eight years later, a doctor told Rebecca she had a
terminal disease.
“I withdrew, even though that’s when Rebecca needed me more than
ever,” Lance says. “Because I couldn’t face life without her.”
Eventually, another doctor caught the misdiagnosis, and Rebecca’s
health improved. The emotional healing, however, took longer.
“I know I’m loved, and I will always be loved. And Lance is trying
harder to show it in all kinds of ways,” Rebecca says.
Lance thinks he understands better now. “Rebecca has always been
there for me,” he says. “That is the defi nition of romance. To love so
much that you are always there. She made me feel loved. I have to show
her my feelings, too.”
People in satisfying relationships were 22 percent more likely to think of
themselves as well loved by family members and friends than were people
in unsatisfying relationships. (Sprecher and Felmlee 2000)